#yeah this isn’t a fanfic and it won’t pan out like one at all so give that dream up

[g0tmilkx3]

Idk why ppl think the writers of the bear are dumb and don’t have a storyboard but these writers are fucking fantastic and I trust them to give us an amazing szn 3 shipping aside they always give us the best writing and god the directing is otherworldly they need to be paid™️ their worth bc I wouldn’t survive a pushback or worse a cancellation 🧿

[nitannichionne]

If He Was Your Fan (A Henry Cavill Fanfic), Chapter 70-Version 2: At The Library (Henry POV)

“Ladies?” I say as soon as I step into our dining area.

She recognizes that voice instantly, and looks up. I smile brightly at her, and her eyes are alight. I told her I would try to join them for high tea. “Henry!”

“Darling,” I purr and bend down to plant a kiss on her cheek. I move around and take the seat next to her. “Sophia, Chiru…this is overdue, I’ve heard so much about you two.”

They giggle like schoolgirls and I watch her shake her head with amusement at their reaction.

“Where have you been?” Chiru asks.

“As you probably know, Witcher 2 is about to come out,” I say with ease. “Work, work, work, work work.” I flash a poster grin, and they look like they’re about to swoon. Her friends are so easy.

“Yeah, we can’t wait!” Sophia says excitedly.

“Your girl here won’t tell us anything,” Chiru says coyly.

“That’s because I don’t really know,” she says, probably again by the look on her face. “I wasn’t on set—”

“Well, not all the time, anyway,” I put in.

“How was your first American Thanksgiving?” Chiru asks.

We both seem to hit the same hesitation to answer.

“It was interesting,” She replies. “meeting my family and all.” She chuckles, albeit a bit nervously.

“Her sister was really something,” I say with a smile. “Very sarcastic and dry sense of humor.” I kept my pleasant expression but inwardly tensed at the memory of my discussion with her:

“You’ve got to slow down, darling,” I say smoothly as she scampers and hops around the kitchen.

“I just..this isn’t well planned, Henry,” She shakes her head at the mess on the kitchen table. “I—”

“We could have ordered an entire supper,” I nod. “You didn’t have to do this. We’re kind of jetlagged, and I’ve never seen you so tired.”

She sighs heavily. “I went and picked up her meds, too.”

“What?” I frown. “Doesn’t she have anything delivered?”

“I don’t know, she asked me to do it, so—”

“You did,” I finish grimly. I guard my expression and say, “I think I left something in the car. I’ll check to make sure we didn’t leave anything out there.”

“Oh, okay.”

I head downstairs and walk in on Shannon, who is watching the telly and hasn’t done anything she said she would do for supper. “Shannon?”

“Oh, hey.”

“Your sister is cooking most of it, and you haven’t even started?”

Shannon stiffens and shrugs. “It’ll get done.”

“Yes, you will, or you won’t eat a thing.”

Shannon chuckles softly, shaking her head. “She wouldn’t do that—”

“But I would.”

Her attention sways from her program. “You—”

“I am the man in her life, her protector, and I plan on being around for awhile,” I say menacingly. “so that means she is no longer your Cinderella, no longer your servant, and when she is being kind, you will be grateful even if you have to fake it.”

“Or what?” she dares, but looks intimidated.

“Or deal with me.”

I chuckle at the memory. Shannon didn’t finish, but with a wicked grin, I took every single pot, pan, dish and bit of flatware to her kitchen and dining room for her to clean. “I am actually looking forward to our next visit.”

Chiru raises her eyebrows, catching on to something, but not sure what. Chiru is very observant, got to keep your wits about you when she’s around. I give her a wink, and she is disarmed. “Well, the big thing on the horizon is the premiere right now.”

“Not a big deal, darling, really,” I say smoothly.

“We hit a lot of stores today,” Sophia sighs heavily.

“And I like the one you chose—”

“Sophia, this is my first time out,” you tell her. “I don’t want to look bad.”

“Do you look bad in it?” I ask.

“Well…no, I don’t, but—”

“That’s it, then,” Sophia nods.

“I don’t look like an actress.

“What’s wrong with that?” I ask. “And actors look different.”

“Thank God!” Sophie rolls her eyes.

“I’m just…I see the women on the carpet, Sophie,” she shrugs. “I’m not a skinny Minnie, as they say, fair hair, Cosmo, Vogue, Elle, Marie Claire.”

“So?” I look into her eyes. I squeeze her hand and kiss it, not losing eye contact.

She smiles, exhaling heavily. “I’m overreacting, huh?”

“Yes!” we all say and laugh.

“Oh, my goodness!”

We all turn and I see a lady walking up to us.

“Hello, Perline.” I’ve never seen my darling stiffen so quickly. She gives a small casual wave with her left hand, and it looks…strange…

“Perline!” Chiru greets, her left hang going to the center of her chest wit a nod and a small smile.

My memory clicks. I’ve seen this before! They are talking without talking-this is their code. I close my eyes briefly to remember when she was memorizing these gestures and saying them to herself. This woman is unliked and considered an enemy. I look to see Sara smile.

“You’re not here alone, are you?” Sophia asks tightly her left hand going to her chest as if she would be shocked if Perline was alone, doing the sign for foe. “If you are—”

“Oh, no, no,” Perline smiles. “Here with friends.” She looks down at me. “Oh, my God, you’re here with—”

I rise and greet her. “I’m Henry.” I shrug humbly, and shake her hand. “From the tea club?”

“Perline,” Perline gives a small frown. “We consider ourselves more than that.”

“My apologies,” I tilt my head to the right as a sign of agreement and moisten my bottom lip to apologize to my party. “Should I walk you back to your table?”

“Oh, thank you, but no,” Perline says. “My husband will wonder what I have been up to!”

Everyone laughs and I tilt my chin, then nod low to the left, inspiring more laughter at my table by calling her a gossip. “Ah.”

“I just wanted to extend invitations to you ladies,” Perline grins. “We are having a holiday tea before Christmas, and a fundraiser as well. If you submit your DNA, you will be given a present of your heritage and what is the most nutritious diet for you.”

“That sounds intriguing!” Sophia’s eyes go wide, looking at us.

Chiru touches Sophia’s shoulder and looks at us,then up at Perline. “Sounds like fun.”

“It’s a fundraiser, I must warn,” Perline says coyly. “It’s five hundred pounds, but for a good cause.”

“We’re in,” I say, nodding to them all. “Merry Christmas to all of you!”

“Well—” she gives us all a glance. “I’ll see you then.”

They squeal and brighten. Chiru and Sophia start talking about what they already know about their family trees. But, my darling sweet, she was quiet. I clear my throat.

“You know our code!” Chiru whispers over the table, a devious expression on her face.

“Shame on you,” Sophia blushes.

“Little devil.”

I wrinkle my nose, and moisten my bottom lip, tilting my head to the right. Sorry, it’s true.

[thran-duils]

Lost In Zero Gravity (P.10)

Title: Lost In Zero Gravity (Part Ten) Summary:  Fem!Reader x Mob Boss!Tony Stark x Mob Boss!Steve Rogers.  Reader is a call girl who runs high end parties. She catches the attention of Tony Stark who invites her back to his room with his friend. She might have performed too well because she becomes their new favorite play toy and they don’t like to share. Words: 2,978 Warnings (for the fic in entirety): Smut, prostitution, infidelity, angst, domestic violence, stalking, possessive behavior

Part Nine || Part Eleven || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

Daryl immediately went to the bedroom, calling out for Y/N. He did not find her in there or in the bathroom. He swore underneath his breath, taking his phone out of his pocket and dialed Steve.

Steve answered pissed off, “This better be fucking important, Daryl. I am not having a great day as you sure as hell know.”

Sighing, immediately hating the fact he had to be the one the news came from, he said, “Y/N’s gone.”

Steve’s tone immediately changed, “What do you mean gone?”

“She’s not here and neither is the cat I think because it hasn’t come out. Her key is here on the coffee table, the apartment wasn’t locked. And Terrence is here passed out drunk on the couch like a fucking idiot. Hold on.” He went to the closet and opened it, seeing a lot of clothes taken off the hangers. “Yeah, she definitely packed a bag. There’s a lot of clothes missing from her closet.” Steve was quiet on the other end of the phone and after a few moments, Daryl prodded, “Boss?”

“I don’t have the fucking time to deal with this shit!” Steve shouted, causing Daryl to pull the phone away from his ear. “How did she get past you?”

“I don’t know. She might have taken a back way since she did not have to worry about Terrence stopping her.”

“He—you said he’s drunk? In the apartment? On her couch?”

“Yeah, seems like it. There’s an alcohol bottle on the coffee table and a couple glasses. He’s passed out, still breathing though. I checked.”

Steve chuckled humorlessly, “This day just keeps getting better and better, doesn’t it, Daryl?”

“I—”

“That was a rhetorical question, shut the fuck up,” Steve snapped. “Stay there. I’m going to call Tony.”

“You got it, boss. I’ll try to get Terrence up with somehow.”

<><><>

“So, just think about that,” Tony sneered at Alessia. Tears were pooling in her eyes as he continued staring at her. He shifted back after a few moments, giving her some breathing space.

“I don’t want you here!” she said, her voice shaking.

“That’s fine, I have another place. I’m sure you saw it earlier,” Tony said, brushing her off, which only served to make her more upset. “You can stay here – and not do anything rash like I just warned you not to because remember, you are not going to win that battle – and I’ll leave for a bit. Let you settle down.”

“You’re not going to gaslight me into not being angry, Tony!” Alessia told him tearfully. “You don’t get to treat your kids like you did and then expect me to not be angry—"

“Maybe you should have been smarter about how you fucking approached me!” Tony spat back at her, cutting her off. “I tried to be nice and apologize and you were not hearing it. So, done with the nice act. You threaten me, forgetting you have no leg to stand on outside of this house or marriage without me. And I’m not gaslighting you. I’m telling you what the situation is. Just because you don’t want to hear it doesn’t mean I’m wrong. You know I’m right.”

Alessia was quiet and he threw his hands out. “That’s what I thought. So, get it, whatever it is, out of your system. I’ll make it up to the kids with a trip that I promised Olivia just now when I was downstairs with her if you didn’t hear that, and everything will pan out and we’ll be honky-dory again before we know it.”

His phone rang, cutting into the conversation. He did not pull it out of his pocket, letting it continue to ring and go to voicemail as he moved to end their argument. “I’d give you a kiss goodbye, but I’m sure you’d slap me again.”

“You’re damn right,” Alessia snapped, wiping at her eyes.

Tony snickered at that and said, “Well, baby, I’ll check in in a day or so. See where we are at.”

He turned away from her and looked down at his phone seeing it was a missed call from Steve. Dreading the reaming that Steve was probably going to give him about how mad Cecile was, Tony sighed. Still, he pressed call back.

“Look, I know—” Tony started to say but Steve cut in as Tony started descending the floating staircase towards the ground floor of his mansion.

“We have a problem,” Steve snapped. “Y/N seems to have run for the hills.”

Tony stalled on the stairs and asked, “Excuse me?”

“Daryl found the apartment unlocked, cat’s gone, clothes are gone, key was left behind for the apartment, Terrence is fucking drunk and passed out on the couch – I would like more on that story as I’m sure you would as well – and she’s nowhere to be found. She somehow got around him.”

Tony bit his bottom lip, trying to stop himself from shouting because he spotted Olivia and Forest waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs. He did not want to lose it in front of them like Alessia had started to when he walked into the house and he had forced her to go upstairs away from them.

“I’m going over there right now. I told Daryl to stay put,” Steve said on the other end of the phone.

Tony shot his kids a smile and then continued down the stairs. “Well, I’ll be there as soon as I can. I’ve gotta say goodbye to the rugrats.”

<><><>

“I only had one drink. I swear it,” Terrence told Steve and Tony, looking desperate.

Daryl had tried to wake him up to no avail before Steve showed up and threw a cup of water into his face. He had sputtered awake, looking at a loss why he was there. Steve had forced him to stay on the couch until Tony got there, which did not take long.

“Why were you drinking at all?” Steve snarled.

Terrence shrugged, “I… she gave me the drink. She was super drunk and tried to leave the apartment. I stopped her from leaving and redirected her inside and then she told me she wanted to have a drink. So I thought maybe it would keep her in the apartment and hopefully pass out soon. Because she was tanked. She was having trouble standing.”

“You’re sure you only had one drink?” Natasha asked from by the island.

Terrence craned his head to look at her and he said honestly, “Yeah. I was sipping on it. It was just the one.”

Natasha’s eyes narrowed and she started searching around the kitchen.

Terrence was focused back on Tony and Steve in front of him. He pleaded, “Bosses, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to happen. I don’t know why I passed out. Please…”

He was begging for his life or to be spared from a brutal beating, that was clear.

Natasha walked over from the kitchen area and held up a small pill pocket between her fingers to them.

“Found it in the trash. Sleeping pills. Bet you run him, you’ll find some traces. Y/N isn’t stupid with that move, but she still is by leaving this in the kitchen trash.” Natasha directed at Terrence, “She probably laced your glass. That was smart.”

“I’m not sure I would refer to this as ‘smart’,” Tony said dangerously.

Natasha shrugged, “Well, I think it is if we isolate the action. If she was planning on leaving without being stopped.”

Tony still looked piqued at the comment.

“We’re not going to kill you, you blubbering idiot,” Steve snapped at Terrence who was still looking up at them in fear. “Just get out of my fucking sight before I sock you.”

Terrence stood up with some help from Daryl and left the apartment.

Steve ran his hands over his face angrily and exclaimed, “Why is everyone hell bent on pissing me the fuck off today?”

“You win some, you lose some,” Natasha commented, leaning against the counter, crossing her arms. Steve glared at her and she smiled in return. “You know I’m just trying to make you smile.”

Tony asked sincerely, “How was Cecile? Alessia said she told her.”

“She sure did.”

“Made good on that threat then. I owe you an apology for my wife taking a fat dump all over your already strained relationship just because she’s vindictive. And for setting her up to be vindictive enough to follow me around.”

“You think?” Steve returned harshly.

“You know I hate apologizing. So, can you just accept it? I’m sorry.” Steve gestured weakly in acknowledgment. “She leaving?”

“No,” Steve said immediately. “She told me she has no place to be mad and I told her I knew. She was not surprised I knew about him. It’s just… awkward.”

“I told you that prenup was a good idea though didn’t I?” Tony commented.

Steve snorted lightly, “Yeah. But I don’t like it out in the open that I’ve got someone on the side. Knowing about her was one thing but I don’t like her knowing about me.”

Tony shrugged, “Well, maybe the two of you can work past your shit now.” Steve rose his brows and Tony shrugged again, “There will be some mutual understanding. No more elephants in the room.”

Natasha nodded in agreement with Tony when Steve looked at her. “Slates cleaner.”

“I fucking suppose. What about Alessia? Did she hit you again?”

It was Tony’s turn to snort, “No. But she did start to shout at me in front of the kids and I was not going to let that happen. She started in as soon as she saw me walk into the house, yelling at me to get out. I don’t need the kids seeing that shit. I made her go upstairs.”

“So…” Steve said expectantly.

“She won’t divorce me. She won’t get anything, -- especially the kids – and she knows it. But she can be pissed off as much as she likes, and I’ll just stay here at the apartment until she stops being a colossal cunt.” Tony let out a strangled, annoyed noise. “I was hoping to make it up to Y/N but seems that’s not happening immediately. And I’m not sure I’m inclined to be nice now considering the circumstances.”

“We’re going to the brothel,” Steve said.

“That was exactly my thought.”

<><><>

Tony and Steve strolled into the brothel, a handful of men at their back.

Steve held up his hand at a woman that tried to approach him to solicit, and he shook his head. “Where’s your madam?” The girl looked put off and stammered. “Don’t stand there looking stupid. Go get her!”

The woman scurried off down the hall quickly. The security was watching the group of them warily.

“You got any brandy?” Tony asked one of them. One nodded and Tony gestured at himself and the guys, “A round then?” The man nodded and went over towards the table to get him some.

Tony took the glass from him, sipping on it. “Mhm, nice. That’s a good batch.”

Tony’s eyes fell on the girl who had just walked in holding Luna.

“That answers the question,” Tony said darkly just as Steve noticed as well. The girl noticed who it was and her eyes got wide. She held the cat closer and made to leave the room, but Tony snapped his fingers at her repeatedly, gesturing towards himself. “No, no. Come back.” She reluctantly did, coming up to him timidly. Tony’s hand came out and he scratched Luna behind the ears. “Hey, sweet girl. Where’s mommy?” He directed the last question at the girl, looking expectant.

“You can check everywhere but she’s not here,” Tatiana said firmly from the doorway to one of the halls, drawing their attention.

Tony straightened up, his hand falling from Luna. “She was though because the damn cat is here.”

“Yeah, she was,” Tatiana admitted. “Can we go to my office?”

“No, we can have the conversation right here,” Tony said, taking another sip of his brandy. “It doesn’t have to take long. So, she was here?”

Tatiana looked irritated by Tony’s refusal to move but she did not verbalize it; instead answering him, “Earlier. But she’s not here anymore.”

“She out?”

“I told her she couldn’t stay.”

“Why?” Steve questioned, waving off the man who tried to hand him brandy.

“Because I didn’t want any trouble. With you or any of your men.”

“So, your brilliant plan was to just let her go wandering off to God knows where when you could have confined her here and waited for us to come collect? Is that what I’m hearing?” Steve asked, leaning forward towards her, a dangerous look in his eyes.

Tatiana was silent, staring back at him, looking very much like a cornered animal.

“That’s what I’m hearing,” Tony chimed in when Tatiana did not speak.

“Me too,” Steve responded, his gaze burning into Tatiana.

“When you put it like that, it does sound like a viable option,” Tatiana told them, drawing a wicked smile out of Steve at her impertinent tone. “But she didn’t want to be collected, so it really seems like I may have done the proper thing in the grand scheme of things. Walking the line and keeping myself from falling on either side of it unfairly.”

“Where’d she go?” Steve snapped.

“I don’t know.”

“You wanna try racking your brain a little harder?”

Tony pointed at the girl still standing there scared with Luna. “You. Why do you have the cat?”

“I… I like her—”

“She’s got nothing to do with it. The cat’s gonna be a house cat,” Tatiana said firmly, cutting in to save the girl from questioning. “Elisha, you can go.”

Tony’s brow furrowed for a moment, his eyes snapping to Elisha. His hand shot out and gripped her arm tightly. Tatiana stiffened at it and Elisha looked at him fearfully.

“Elisha… Elisha…” Tony said. “I know your name. Y/N mentioned you.” He flashed her a toothy smile and said, “Love, where would Y/N run off to?”

“I-I don’t know,” Elisha said, her voice warbling.

“Tatiana, I really don’t want to have to get physical about this,” Steve said, raising his brows. “I’ve had a pretty shit day and if one thing could just go right, that would mean the world to me. The difference between me losing my shit and not losing my shit, if you get my drift.”

“I’m telling you the truth. I don’t know where she went. She said she couldn’t go home because she didn’t want to put her grandpa in danger and she wouldn’t tell me where she was going to go then,” Tatiana said, keeping up an even voice.

Steve stalked towards her, towering over her 5’2” frame.

He leaned in close and asked maliciously, “What would happen if the Spades were allowed back on the block?” Tatiana stiffened at that and a cruel smirk came across Steve’s face. “You don’t like that idea, do you? Who do you think keeps them clear of you and the other whorehouses around here? Hmm? Lets you run your place all on your own without pimping? You don’t think that was just ‘good ol police work’, do you?” He saw the look on her face and now he let out a low chuckle. “Tell me you didn’t, Tatiana. Really? That’s what you thought? No, we protect places we like to frequent. I don’t need to come to some dirty, drug ridden den if I wanna show up here. I want a nice place, like this. And it is a beautiful place, isn’t it?” He gestured around the room. “And I want the girls coming to our parties to be clean in every sense of the word. It would be a real shame if that protection was shattered, wouldn’t it?”

Tatiana was keeping a brave face, the room silent, watching the two of them intently.

“You’re going to put all these girls at risk for one?” she asked.

Steve looked surprised by her reaction. He recovered quickly though, laughing scornfully.

“Well, yeah. I paid for her didn’t I? Even more than she owed you if I recall. And she still owes a debt to us. You know about debts don’t you? What are all these girls doing in here for you? They’re under contract. It would be a fucking insult for one of them to break that contract, right?” His voice changed then, sounding angry. “But these women don’t need to be at risk if you would just. fucking. cooperate.”

Tatiana did not make a move.

“You think I’m bluffing?”

Tatiana still said nothing, but Steve could see she was visibly shaking. So could Tony and he decided to ramp it up because she was at her breaking point; she just needed to be pushed over the edge.

Tony sighed heavily, “I’m tired of this back and forth.” He let go of Elisha roughly and said, “Love, make sure the cat stays out of the way while my guys make work of this place. I don’t need the little shit hurt. I actually like her.”

“Wait, what?” Tatiana said, suddenly worried.

Tony threw his glass at the wall, shattering it. He gestured at it, “That’s the general gist of things, guys. Overturn the place.”

Their men started to move, breaking things and Tatiana suddenly was singing a different tune.

“Don’t!”

She went unheeded and she begged, “Please, don’t!”

Chairs were being broken, pottery shattered on the ground. The women that had been nearby were racing out of the room, with a few of the men at their backs making to go down the halls and ruin more of the place.

“Stop!” Tatiana shouted now at Steve. “I… she did go home! I lied!”

~~~

Forever tags: @coconutqueen21 @undecidedsworld

Fic tags: @icant-hangout-imdrumming @oceaniamaddness @multifandom-superlover @imsonick @holl2712 @here4thefanfics

[thelargefrye]

your tiktok drafts getting leaked. ateez.

── summary. here’s some of your drafts that got posted after your tiktok account was hacked.

── warnings. suggestive stuff, alludes to sex, cussing, mention of toxic fans and antis, spitting kink i guess but just briefly, fem!reader

── developers note. this was inspired by venuswrld who had done this with her characters and i thought it would be fun to do it. also @sansbun​ the inspiration of one of the san ones lol. 

── tag list. @chrryhwa​

KIM HONGJOONG. 

draft one. 

you and hongjoong are sitting on your bed, filming in front of your small body length mirror. it then pans down to show a bunch of paints before a piece of text appears in front of the supplies. 

“we got bored so guess who is letting their boyfriend paint their back!! yay..”

it then cuts to show hongjoong straddling your legs as you lay down on the bed, a towel underneath you as you’re shirtless. hongjoong presses a quick kiss to your spine before he slowly starts to paint your back. 

it cuts once more to show the progress hongjoong has made before cutting again and showing the final product of a bunch of sunflowers as you sit in hongjoong’s lap as he holds the camera pointed towards the mirror from the beginning. 

draft two. AUDIO USED :: CAN’T HELP FALLING IN LOVE.

you were sitting in hongjoong’s studio, the camera facing you but you were looking at something in front of you. you look back at the camera and adjust it slight before a small block of texts appears as you flip the camera to reveal hongjoong sitting at his desk. 

the text reads, “thank you for everything you’ve done for me. thank you for me be with you in the studio. all our dates we’ve had and for letting me listen to all your songs.”

the song keeps playing as it cuts and you are laying in bed with hongjoong’s sleeping form cuddling into you another block of text appears, “i know i can be naggy and annoying, but it’s only because i care lol. i’m glad to know you are getting sleep at least, even if you do drool all over my hoodie. but still, i wouldn’t know where i would be without.” 

it cuts again to show you and hongjoong sitting on the couch, your head resting on his shoulder. hongjoong isn’t paying too much attention to you as his eyes are focused on whatever is in front of you two. a final block of texts appears, “thank you for letting me fall in love with you.” 

you look up at hongjoong with a fond smile before leaning over to press a kiss to his cheek making him look at you with a smile.

PARK SEONGHWA. 

draft one. AUDIO USED :: CHOKE.

you have the camera facing you, disco filter on as a block of text appears beside you, right as you point next to your head where it appears. 

“bitches don’t hate me because of me. they hate me because i’m dating their seonghwa oPPar. it’s toxic atiny, toxic atiny are bitches. sorry not sorry, don’t be a dick.”

you then throw a peace sign up as you stick your tongue out.

draft two.

you currently standing in front of your phone with the greenscreen effect on, a picture of seonghwa in a turtle neck behind you. 

“you see this,” you say pointing to the picture, “yeah, there’s a reason he was wearing a turtle neck during practice and it wasn’t because he was cold. just food for thought the next time he’s wearing a turtle neck.”

it then cuts and there’s a different picture behind you this time. it’s still of seonghwa but from ateez’s recent comeback during one of their fever stages.

“and you see him here? yeah, we fucked later that night because i thought he looked cute in that beret,” you said with shrug. 

JEONG YUNHO. 

draft one.

“kiss,” you say without warning as you lean over the couch, face turned to look at yunho who is sitting on the couch. he turns to kiss your cheek without hesitation and you grin before running away. 

“kiss,” you say again but in the kitchen this time. yunho smiles before kissing you once more and afterwards you run away like the first time.

“kiss?” it sounds like a question as you look at him with a cute expression on your face. yunho leans over to kiss your cheek, but you turn at the last second and his lips meet yours. 

you’re about to runaway like the last two times before yunho stops you by wrapping his arms around your waist and pulls you to his chest. a laugh leaves you as yunho covers the side of your face in kisses.

draft two. AUDIO USED :: MOTIVATE.

yunho is wearing his suit he had just worn for his recent anews video with smirk on his face as you straddle his lap. the camera is positioned away from the two, but still captures you running your hands down chest.

he can’t help how his smirk grows when you mouth “he motive me, yeah, that’s my baby.” which causes him to kiss you as flips you onto the couch. you say something, but the video doesn’t catch it and yunho only nods before taking his blazer off and tossing it over your still recording phone.

KANG YEOSANG. 

draft one.

the camera is facing yeosang who is sitting on your couch, looking down at his phone. your feet resting in his lap. you move one of your legs just enough to nudge him. when he doesn’t respond you do it again and again until he finally grabs your foot and turns to look at you.

“what?”

“do you love me?”

he gives a what the fuck face before answering, “of course. you think i would let the whole world know i’m dating you if i didn’t.”

“i know! i figured i would just check to make sure you haven’t grown tired of me!”

“i could never get tired of you,” he says and you make a weird noise before the phone is tossed the floor, but it manages to catch you throwing yourself on top of yeosang in order to kiss him.

draft two.

"yeosang asked me what would i do if he ever broke my trust,” you began, a fake smile on your face as you tried to have an innocent look as you tilted your head from side to side. “i told him if he ever broke my trust, i would break his band apart. he then asked what i meant,” you paused as a real smile takes over your fake one you had moments ago, “so i told him, ‘don’t break my trust and you won’t have to find out.’” you end it with a cute laugh.

SAN. 

draft one.

“i love atiny with all my heart,” you begin to say. you’re currently leaning into san who has his arm wrapped around you. “but damn do the delusional ones get on my fucking nerves,” you deadpan causing san to choke back a laugh. 

“like... i’m not gonna break up with love of my life because he’s your bias. and he’s not gonna break up with me so you can live you fifteen minutes of fanfic turned real life. because guess what? i’m the one that sucks his dick, not you.” 

san can’t help but laugh behind you as he turns his head away as to not show the camera he’s laughing, but it obviously doesn’t work as the video still catches the sound of his laugh. 

he turns back to you, still biting back his laugh, “god, i love you so much,” he says before kissing you.

draft two. AUDIO :: MY HEART WENT OOP.

you and san are standing in front of a mirror. the two of you dressed in your pjs as the song plays, right as the beat drops you both jump and when you land you’re wearing cute matching couples outfit. 

you shake your head before the both of you jump and land wearing cool streetwear. san shakes his head this time and you jump once more before you both land wearing cute maid outfits with cat headbands on top of your heads.

you nod your head and san smiles as he watches you smack his ass before you mess with his fishnets. san turns to face you and picks you up before kissing you.

SONG MINGI. 

draft one.

you’re laying in bed on your side, with a tired, unamused face as mingi is sleeping peacefully behind you. the only audio coming from the tiktok is of him snoring loudly making you frown. 

you zoom in on mingi’s face catching the line of drool coming out of his mouth and you zoom out to show an expressionless face.

draft two. AUDIO USED :: WII MUSIC.

you’re sitting in mingi’s lap head leaned back on his shoulder as you look up at the ceiling. it’s obvious you’re bored as mingi works on something, a song presumably, in front of you both. 

it then cuts to you now eating while still in his lap, as you occasionally feed him some of your food. he says something to you and you only nod your head taking another bite.

it cuts for a third to time to show you kissing mingi’s face and he doesn’t look phased in the slightest by your action. you then turn his head so he’s looking at you before kissing his lips as you let him go back to working, a smile on his face as he does so.

it cuts a final time to show you sitting on a couch with mingi resting his head in your lap with the text above reading, “finally got him to take a break!” 

JUNG WOOYOUNG.

draft one.

you and wooyoung are looking the camera making different faces and acting cute together. you then turn to look at wooyoung, who turns to face you as well. 

suddenly, you open your mouth, tongue sticking out. wooyoung smirks before he spits in your mouth and you swallow it without any hesitation as you both turn back to smile at the camera like nothing happened. 

draft two. 

wooyoung has his head buried in your chest with one of his hands underneath your hoodie. there’s a movie playing on the tv in front of you both, but it’s clear that wooyoung is fast asleep as you pet his hair.

some text is on the screen the whole time which read, “movie night but woo feel asleep 😞”

CHOI JONGHO.

draft one. 

you were standing in an elevator filming yourself in the mirrored doors as you showed off your outfit since you were feeling cute today. some text pops up that says, “can’t wait to get snapped in half like an apple hehe 🍎”

it then cuts to show you sitting on a bed filming in front of mirror. head messed up and top on the floor as you tilt your head from side to side. another piece of text pops up above your head saying, “my thighs hurt ✨” 

jongho appears behind you shirtless as he sits on the bed back facing you and showing the red lines running down his back and the text changes to say “but that’s okay i left him something as well hehe 🤪”

draft two.

you have an unamused look on your face as you begin to talk. 

“i am so fucking tired of people on twitter talking about jongho and mine’s relationship. and i’m talking about the ones saying he’s too young for me. like... bitch i’m not that much fucking older than him get over yourself. jongho isn’t gonna date you, so get off the little bird app and go do your fucking math homework, okay? thanks.”

[derivativealigner]

Well I haven’t watched sp all the way through for about a decade now, so I thought it was time

Sometimes I wonder how accurate the fandom is when it comes to how we interpret the characters. Like, why is Stan a football star so often in fanfic and why’s Kyle always the smart one? So I thought I’d rewatch the show and make notes along the way to see where the source of all these interpretations is. I also wanted to see if I could get some fun info to analyze, but season 1 is pretty sparse in that regard so there’s not too much of that in this post, but I’ll make a post for all the other seasons too as I watch them

In summary, it’s established in season 1 already that Stan’s a star quarterback and an animal lover, Kyle’s an A+ student, and Kenny is poor and knows a lot about sex and doesn’t have many qualms about doing crazy shit. Cartman is a bit weird since he’s mostly just a naive brat in this season, but he and Kyle have a mildly antagonistic friendship already

I have all my notes under this cut. They include a bunch of small details and other observations. I also listed every Kenny death just because

Ike has freckles

Cartman says “Weak!” and “You guys” and “Seriously” a lot from the start, also “Kickass!” He doesn’t say weak or kickass much in the later seasons iirc

Stan says “Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here” three times in this season but they dropped that catchphrase pretty quickly

Bebe got named in episode 2

Stan’s been an animal lover since s01e03 Volcano since he won’t shoot a bunny or anything else. He does shoot Scuzzlebutt at the end though

Cartman’s a pathological liar but in a childish way

Randy got named in s01e03 Volcano (and it only got worse from there)

The mayor went to Princeton

South Park is next to Mt. Evanson

Kenny will literally drink gasoline

Stan’s a star quarterback in 3rd grade

Clyde’s voice is wrong as hell in S01E04 Big Gay Al’s Big Gay Boat Ride and he has a dog, Rex

Garrison says Kyle is an A+ kid

Shelly seriously abuses Stan, punching him, throwing him, maiming him with a lawnmower

Cartman had a pot-bellied pig called Fluffy

Cartman’s mom smokes crack and has sex with strange men

Dr. Mephesto is probably a Buddhist since he says “Thank Buddha” instead of “Thank God”

Clyde’s voice gets kind of fixed in S01E06

A guy called Mr. McCormick is killed in a protest, launched and splattered against a network building. He doesn’t look like Kenny’s dad though

Zombie Clyde attacks Bebe, rude

Wendy gave her costume contest prize (2 tons of candy) to hungry children in Nairobi

Cartman’s mom is on the cover of Crack Whore magazine. “Back do’ ho… Five on one action!” is the headline

Cartman genuinely cries at Kenny’s grave after the whole zombie thing but gets over it because of candy

Stan knows his mom’s credit card number and has no problem using it to adopt an Ethiopian child (the boys wanted a watch that came with the adoption, they weren’t doing it to be nice)

Cartman calls Stan a vas deference, Stan doesn’t know what that is so Kenny says “Dude, it’s a pipe for your peepee” (according to a transcript). Kenny sure knows male anatomy

Kyle sniffs Kenny after Cartman asks why poor people smell like sour milk and Garrison says “idk eric they just do”

Cartman thinks poor people should die and decrease the surplus population

When the boys get Starvin’ Marvin delivered to them, Cartman says “Hey mom, we found an Ethiopian, can we keep him?” and his mom says “Sure, hun.” She rarely says no to Cartman

Kenny’s dad is an alcoholic who drinks scotch according to Cartman. I mean, Mr. McCormick is seen drinking in multiple episodes and has a hat that says SCOTCH so it’s probably true

Kenny’s family says grace

Craig’s first appearance is S01E09. Also, S01E09 is the first time Kenny doesn’t die (Coincidence? I THINK yeah but it’s still fun)

Clyde got named in S01E10

Clyde and Bebe both spit on Pip’s face, friendship goals <3

Cartman and Kyle have their first fight at Cartman’s birthday party because Kyle didn’t give the right gift. Cartman slaps his face and  screams “I hate you! I want you to die! Die!” while on top of Kyle who’s not really fighting back

Satan throws a fight with Jesus after everyone except Satan bet that Jesus would lose, which leads to Satan winning everyone’s money. Mr. Garrison says “What a mean thing to do!” and Jimbo says “He is a jerk!” and I thought it was quite a laugh so I wrote it down

In S01E11 Tom’s Rhinoplasty Bebe and Wendy are sitting in the swings together and generally appear together throughout the episode, then Bebe gives Wendy a makeover so they’re bffs obviously <3

Craig first appears in the classroom, though not sitting down, in S01E11

Wendy’s not happy about Ms. Ellen taking Stan away from her, she says “Don’t fuck with me! Stay away from my man, bitch, or I’ll whoop your sorry ho ass back to last year!”

Kenny gives Ms. Ellen a scrumptious looking sausage as a valentine’s gift and giggles deviously. Wendy’s gift to Ms. Ellen is a dead animal

Even Kenny doesn’t know what a lesbian is

Wendy’s grandma died in S01E11

Wendy gets Ms. Ellen killed by hiring the Iraqi government (?) to put her in a rocket and shoot it into the sun, then she and Bebe have a pool party (very cool, they wear sunglasses 😎) and watch the rocket hit the sun

Cartman and Pip play a game of kicking each other in the nuts until someone falls. Cartman calls it “Roshambo”

Kenny has a sack of marbles

The boys aren’t fans of Barbra Streisand, but Stan is a fan of the Denver Broncos quarterback John Elway (he’s not a quarterback anymore, he’s an American football executive and the president of football operations for the Denver Broncos of the NFL according to wikipedia.)

Officer Barbrady is a fan of Fiona Apple (who was 20 at the time and had only one album released called Tidal)

Ned knows how to pilot a helicopter

Kyle’s mom is a fan of Streisand unlike literally everyone else, she even gets an autograph from Mecha Streisand

The boys are fans of Robert Smith, the lead singer of The Cure. Stan says “Robert Smith is the greatest person that ever lived!” and Kyle says “Disintegration is the best album ever!” and Cartman says “Robert Smith kicks ass!” and Kenny’s dead so he doesn’t get to have an opinion

Cartman has tea parties with his toys: Polly Prissypants, Clyde frog, Peter Panda, and a dragon called Rumpertumskin

Kyle wants to make fun of Cartman for the tea party but Stan stops him because he’s concerned that Cartman needs help

Craig is in front of the school counselor’s office in S01E13

A young miss Cartman drinks like a motherfucker at the 12th annual drunken barn dance where Cartman was supposedly conceived

Stan lets Cartman borrow his bike like a good friend

Garrison wanted to have a threesome with Chef and Cartman’s mom. I don’t know why I’m making a note of this but uh… yeah.

Cartman’s mom has had sex with everyone at this bar that Garrison’s drinking at, including principle Victoria, the mayor, Father Maxi, and Jesus (and maybe Kenny’s dad since he’s at the bar but the camera doesn’t pan to him when Garrison says they’ve all slept with Liane). Later Gerald Broflovski is a possible father to Eric, so he fucked her too. Also Mr. Mephesto and his friend Kevin, that little guy, are candidates along with a lot of other people, including the 1989 Denver Broncos (and Mr. Tenorman is included in that later)

Cartman doesn’t make fun of Kyle for being Jewish much at all in this season even though the Christmas episode is all about Kyle not celebrating

Clyde and Token appear very early on and Clyde has always been in the classroom (along with Bebe, Red, Kevin Stoley, Wendy, and Pip and uhh DogPoo too I think). Craig appears later in the season and Tweek’s not in season 1 at all, so Craig’s gang isn’t really a thing yet

And here’s a list of the ways Kenny died in this season. He dies in every episode except episode 9, and he dies twice in episodes 2 and 3. Altogether he dies 14 times

S01E01 Killed after alien shoots him, cows stampede over him, then cop runs him over which finally actually kills him

S01E02 Killed in a play by a falling teepee, then a second time shot by Garrison which sends him in the air and he gets impaled on a flagpole on the way down

S01E03 Killed by a volcano rock that burns him then rolls on him but he’s alive again in the end but gets shot by Ned’s gun that he drops and it accidentally goes off

S01E04 Gets his arms and head torn off in an American football game

S01E05 Stan’s clone punches Kenny into a microwave where he gets cooked alive

S01E06 Death touches Kenny

S01E07 Kenny gets crushed by a Russian space station and turns into a zombie because he gets Worcestershire sauce in his veins, then Kyle chainsaws zombie Kenny in half, then zombie Kenny rises from his grave and is crushed by a statue and a plane

S01E08 Kenny is killed by a bunch of turkeys. His eye gets plucked out. It’s dark blue

S01E10 After Kenny gets turned into a duck-billed platypus, Jimbo and Ned shoot him

S01E11 Ms. Ellen throws a sword through Kenny’s face

S01E12 While Mecha Streisand and a giant robot Leonard Maltin fight, Kenny plays with a tetherball and gets the rope wrapped around his neck and it strangles him

S01E13 Kenny gets stuck on a go kart and it drags him around but stops and he’s still alive! Too bad the go kart stops on train tracks and a train runs him over. Stan’s grandpa sends a video of the event to America’s Stupidest Home Videos and wins $10,000

If you read all that, first of all hello. I’m not new to the fandom even though this is the first thing I’ve posted on this tumblr blog. I’ve been writing a fanfic called Caffetamine though so I’m not a complete non-entity. Anyway, I’ll watch season 2 soon and post my notes on that too probably.

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia!! I love your work and have consistently been reading it for over a couple of years, currently every TIP update u post makes my days a bit brighter 🥰

It is also thanks to you that I started posting fics last year after more than three years not doing so. While some of my fics have been wildly popular in a fandom some others don't seem to have landed as well within the same one, so I wanted to ask, what do you do about those stories that excite you but that don't seem to have found an audience yet, or that they never will?? How do you work through the fear of them not being worth your writing time?

Have a lovely day 💚🍀

Hi anon,

This is a hugely complicated question.

For a start, for writing that is for income, if I think it won't do well, I don't write it (although only to a point, I wrote The Gentle Wolf because asexual representation mattered more to me than sales, but it still hit hard when that turned out to be true). I don't like to mess with things that pay the bills. I hate that I have to look at metrics in that sense, but I do. But thankfully we're not talking about original fiction:

For fanfiction, things are different, and there might be a lot of different things going on.

For a start, almost always, when people ask me this question they are still getting some interaction on their fics, just not as much as they wanted or imagined. It can really help to like, remember to be grateful for every person who interacts, and not just the 'quantity' of interactions.

I think like... I am a big fan of 'write for yourself' but it's also true that I write for interaction on AO3. Just... only you can decide how much of the former will compensate for not much of the latter. There are people out there who are like 'if I was only writing for myself I'd keep it in my computer.' I'm not like that, and I don't vibe that way. I write for myself but enjoy sharing it, in case something that worked well for me, works well for a stranger. Everyone is different and that's eventually going to be what the crux of this post is, lol.

Popularity is influenced by the fact that some fandoms are more dead than others and lack interaction across the board in general (Persona 5, for example, is notorious for this). Some fandoms like certain tropes more than others. Some fandoms are massively popular for three weeks and then die almost immediately. And so on and so on.

Ultimately fandom is fickle, it's loyal to the stories they like more than the authors they like, and you can't predict what will be a flash in the pan and what won't be, and it doesn't always have anything to do with the quality of the fic itself or the tags you used. (This is sort of like how sketches will sometimes get tens of thousands of notes and a 300 hour single piece of quality art will get 400 notes, while a professional artist tears their hair out in pieces).

Sometimes, a fic will be more interesting to me than the reality of fandom interaction and I'll write it. Touching and Melting for Houseki no Kuni is a good example of that. A tiny fic for honestly an extremely quiet and tiny western fandom in terms of fic, which looks like it had a lot of interaction 3 years on, but had almost nothing in the first few months. And sometimes the fic idea won't be more interesting to me than the reality of the fandom interaction, and I won't write it. I go story idea by story idea.

But I've also taught myself to really think about a) the way I talk about interaction and b) to really value every individual that leaves a kudos, or comments, or public bookmarks. When I sort of started out with Shadows and Light, I remember being so bummed when a story didn't do as well, and thinking that meant it was doing 'badly.' Let's be real, Game Theory when it started out had less than a tenth of the interaction of SALverse, and I thought I had failed. If I'd given up at that point, well... all of this wouldn't exist.

And then just looking at fanfiction, it's like.. well, sometimes fics do a lot worse than other fics, there's usually at least one person who will read it and leave a kudos. I remind myself that to that person, the story mattered or meant something, which meant I didn't just write it for myself anymore, there is interaction.

This is much harder on stories that have zero comments, and zero kudos, obviously, no one likes to feel as though they are shouting into the void. But it's also my experience that writers who've had popular fics, don't often have 'zero kudos fics' when they say a fic is doing really badly. They just..maybe need to value the individual interactions alongside how good a 'mass' of interaction can feel, or alongside how good 'quantity' can feel. I do really think that's a skill that a lot of like...enthusiastic fanfiction writers have mastered or at least are learning.

Sometimes it really helps to have somewhere in private to vent to when you feel emotionally overloaded or insecure, and honestly sometimes it can help to re-evaluate.

For some people, writing fic when a certain threshold of interaction isn't reached, just isn't worth it. I can't convince people like that to keep writing. If there's a deep seated 'this isn't worth it' then stop doing it.

If there's 'this is insecurity and I'm not good at valuing everyone and I feel down right now but it'll pass' then...work quietly and patiently and compassionately on strengthening your resilience and your trust in your own writing, and your ability to value individuals who interact and engage on your fics. If you don't do this, you may end up bitter and resentful, and that can influence your entire relationship with fandom, and worse, the people who interact with your fics.

Also, finally:

How do you work through the fear of them not being worth your writing time?

In fanfiction, I do not base whether something is worth my writing time on the quantity of people who will interact with it. It is worth my writing time because I'm really excited to write it, and I want to share it, even if people don't respond immediately, or even if only one person ever comments.

I don't...have this fear that you have based on the things you're basing it on - my fears are different to yours. It's fanfiction. It's worth my writing time because I'm eager to write or fix or alter something in canon or I want to make the two boys fuck because no one else was going to, and because I can generally trust that one person out there will probably read it, even if I go back over 10 years ago and my Livejournal fics were only getting like one comment per chapter. If that.

If your metric for 'worthiness' is 'quantity of interaction' then - I'm the wrong person to talk to, I'm literally motivated to write fanfiction by completely different factors to you. I didn't start SAL knowing it would get popular, I thought people would hate me because I killed Jamie in the first chapter, and up until that point none of my fics had been popular.

I can't convince you on the things that convince me, when our foundational motivations are different. If you want quantity and that's what 'worth' means to you, I don't know what to tell you, I would never have written SAL in the first place if I hadn't been the kind of person to just write fanfic for almost no / or no interactions, and still enjoy that single person who said 'I really enjoyed this thank you for writing.' I didn't spring into being as someone who was writing fics that got a lot of interaction, that came...years later, y'know?

So what is worthy to me sounds like it's also just different to what is worthy to you. Ultimately, there are people only writing fanfiction on the basis of how many people interact with them, and...I don't know how those people keep choosing to write honestly, and I think a lot eventually abandon it, because there's no algorithm to crack in order to be successful every time. Maybe...remind yourself that you've had popular fics in the past and therefore you will again? And that you can't get to that point without less popular fics on the step ladder in the meantime? Therefore, even a fic that doesn't feel 'worth your time' will be a stepping stone to the one that is?

Imho, I think my fics are worth my time because I enjoy reading them once they're finished. And then I think they're worth my time because other people enjoy them. Having a popular fic is fun and nice, but honestly, often a fluke, and doesn't always say anything about the quality of the writing (some of the most popular Yuri! on Ice stories with 10,000+ kudos were like...not always...the most well-written stories, but people were desperate for Content, and it was certainly that).

But yeah, how I think about fanfiction is very different to how I think about 'fiction that has to earn an income.' Ultimately I don't want to apply the latter philosophies to the former, other people do. If you're applying 'this needs to hit a certain threshold of interaction to be worthy' as your basis for writing fanfiction, then...we have very very different motivations for creating content in fandom! And I'm the wrong person to ask.

As I said, it's complicated, lol.

[queer-crusader]

Finally finishing Loki and I just... I'm disappointed. Putting opinions under the cut.

Like, I've seen the criticism, I got spoilered, and I won't lie, it definitely influenced my further viewing. But even so, it disappointed me. I don't think the whole "Loki not even being the main character of his own show" is as egregious as Tumblr made it out to be for me, though yes, a LOT of focus was put on Sylvie - her revenge narrative, Loki just being along for the ride ("a flea on a dragon's back". Thanks for being self-aware, show). To me, there are other frustrating factors.

"Glorious purpose" seems the catch-phrase of this show. Which seems... stupid, to be honest. When Loki uttered it in the Avengers film, there was a clear madness to him. Marvel claimed officially that Loki was under the influence of the mind stone by then, but the show still thinks that was genuinely Loki talking - and it is something all Lokis seem to agree on.

Then there's the whole throne thing. Loki mentions near the end that he doesn't want a throne. He says it like he's finally had a realisation, like this is his emotional growth. But it ISN'T. This show is set after Thor 1, in which Loki very clearly says to Thor: "I never wanted the throne. I only ever wanted to be your equal." So this is not some grand revelation. This has always been the case, and something he was fiercely aware of. He's never wanted to be a ruler.

"Don't you want to win in New York? Kill Thanos?" This is more of a headcanon, but one shared by much of the fandom - a headcanon marvel can't have missed, since they saw our collective outcries that Loki was brainwashed and claimed it canon years after The Avengers, just because they couldn't ignore it anymore if they were making a show about Loki. Anyway, the collective headcanon is this: Loki didn't want to win in New York. His plan was doomed to fail from the start. Earth is unruleable, a space army coming through one wormhole and the gate has a built-in self-destruct button. He scattered the Avengers, but he also got them together. The headcanon was that he planned it all, in a way that seemed good to Thanos, but was meant to make him fail.

As to killing Thanos, yeah, he deserves that. In fact, Retro Loki says it beautifully - the knives look cool but are fucking useless, something Loki should know without getting his neck snapped by the Mad Titan. Thanks for spelling out something obvious, again something the fandom has been yelling about since Infinity War came out! Did the writers steal Retro Loki's survival tactic off a Tumblr post? Because it feels a little like it, almost in an attempt to soft-retcon that film. "We can't fix that dumb plot point, but we can show that we understand Loki better, that we you came up with a better idea of what could have been." Again, thanks.

This show is just full of the writers showing us things we already knew. They make Loki a bumbling idiot - and I get it, conflict is the heart of western storytelling, but he doesn't need to be incompetent to struggle. The thing is, were they to make him as formidable and clever as we once felt he was, they would have needed to make his adversaries even cleverer. And much as I enjoy certain bits of the story (croki my beloved)... I just don't think they were quite up to that task. It all feels like a fanfic, which on the one hand, can be fan service. But on the other hand, it feels like a Frankenstein fanfic. A puzzle of stolen tropes from fics the writers have read and put together, none of it quite their own. I'm making assumptions and not being very forgiving, but this is just how I feel.

And that brings me to my next and almost final point. What really hammers the fanfiction feeling home for me is all the self-reflection. It can be done and it can be done well, but this show didn't do it well. The self-reflection felt out of character, disingenuous, inaccurate, and clunky.

The writing is clunky, and at times rushed. And it's just... almost bad at times. There wasn't a single moment where I went "oh this is revolutionary" or "this quote will haunt me". Most of it was incredibly mediocre. This absolutely includes the quote where Loki canonically notes that he's bi/pan/not straight. Russel T Davies said it spectacularly; marvel/Disney pats itself on the back with each weak nod to the LGBTQ+ community. If they want to be ground-breaking, they'll have to do better than a queer on-screen kiss.

And speaking of kisses: I just... No. I don't have anything against selfcest in fics, I'm not afraid to admit I've read it before, and in canon media it can be utilised in fascinating and clever ways. This show did not do that. To have Loki berate himself, only to romantically fall for another version of himself that is, let's be real, very different from him, is not some deep representation of growth and self-love to me. It is once again clunky. You want growth? Stick to those self-reflections and do better, or become more metaphorical. Either way, write more cleverly.

I'm sorry, my standards are high, and this just didn't meet it. I appreciate the effort! I'm glad someone with love for this character tried to make something of it! But it fell on its ass, and came out as a butchering of a beloved character only to make space for a hopeful replacement. That to me is a massive failure, and not one I can forgive easily. Your show is called Loki. Act like it. And if making it a love letter to him and us was your intention, do better.

[ollieofthebeholder]

leaves too high to touch (roots too strong to fall): a TMA fanfic

Read from the beginning on Tumblr || Also on AO3

Chapter 46: Martin

Having Melanie definitely helps, in ways Martin hasn’t been expecting.

In the first place, having someone new in the Archives who needs to learn the ropes—never mind that they’re still basically making it up as they go in a lot of ways—gives him a new project to focus on, and one that he doesn’t have to stress about hiding from Elias. He suspects Melanie catches on a lot quicker than she lets on, and really there’s not that much to pick up on, but she plays it a bit stupid and asks a lot of questions. On Thursday, when Elias is distracted by his weekly meeting with the library staff (which goes on longer now that Diana is gone, especially since he doesn’t seem to be telling them oh, yeah, she’s been dead for at least a year and got replaced by a monster and I let it happen to torture the Archivist), she points out that if he thinks they’re spending time trying to get her up to speed, he’ll leave them alone a bit longer. Martin isn’t sure about that, but he lets it go.

Besides that, while he doesn’t want to admit it aloud, Martin likes having someone around who’s more on his level. Melanie might have a degree, but it’s what a lot of the people up in the Library would have disparagingly called a “fluff” degree, one where she didn’t have to do the same level of intense research or the same types of papers. It means that, like Martin, she doesn’t have the same precision and academic style that Sasha and Tim do to their research and notes. At the same time, she’s been running her own thing for so long that, unlike Martin (or at least unlike Martin when he started), she isn’t afraid of operating on a hunch and a load of guesswork.

She fits in well. She’s got a bit of a bite to her, but her sense of humor is close to Martin’s, and they have similar enough tastes that they can have decent discussions but differing enough tastes that they can have spirited but ultimately friendly debates. They’ve also discovered an ability to riff off of one another. Melanie even installed a little widget on her computer that keeps track of how long she and Martin can toss jokes back and forth with a straight face before one of the others begs them to stop or laughs so hard they can’t breathe. So far their record is forty-seven minutes, but it’s only been a few days.

It’s enough to keep him distracted while he’s at work, at least. Same with Tim, or so he says. And when they’re actually focusing on the research and filing and recording of statements, it’s hard to focus on anything else. The problem is that they really can’t let themselves get too deep into it and risk falling deeper into the Eye’s thrall, so they have to pace themselves. Martin’s pretty sure it’s harder for him than it is for Tim, at least at first, but when he sees Tim’s hands shaking as he tries to resist picking up a statement, he reevaluates that a bit.

Weirdly, it’s harder to resist without Sasha there—she takes Jon Prime’s suggestion and skips out for the rest of the week—which tells Martin she’s absorbing a lot of the Beholder’s power. He ends up enlisting Melanie to make sure he and Tim don’t take work home on Friday. She practically frog-marches them down the block, then hugs them both and tells them to take care before peeling off to do whatever it is she’s planning to do for the weekend.

The weekend is the hardest part. Martin and Tim try to distract themselves, and each other, but so much of what they do reminds them that Jon isn’t there and they haven’t heard from him, except occasional texts. In sheer desperation, they collect Charlie—who misses Jon almost as much as they do—and take him to the London Zoo on Saturday. It takes a little bit for all of them to relax, but soon they’re enjoying themselves, laughing and eagerly talking about the animals and exploring the exhibits. Martin’s phone isn’t going to have enough space for all the pictures he’s taking, but he decides it’s worth it.

“You have a lovely family,” a zoo worker tells Martin with a grin as he’s snapping a photo of Tim lifting Charlie up so he can high-five a monkey through the glass of the enclosure, and Martin thanks him for the compliment without thinking twice about it. It’s not until they’re halfway home, Charlie worn out from excitement and exertion and sound asleep against Tim’s shoulder, that it catches up to him and he realizes that people they encounter out in public lump them together as a family—that people weren’t seeing him and Tim as babysitters or even uncles, but as a couple and Charlie’s fathers.

What surprises him is that he doesn’t start panicking over it. He just thinks well, that’s a thing and moves on.

Sunday they take Charlie to the St. Patrick’s Day parade; none of them have any interest in it, it’s just something to do to keep their minds occupied. Tim gets into a chat with a woman whose son is a little bit older than Charlie and seems thoughtful afterward, but won’t say anything. He’s a lot clingier that night, though, not that Martin minds.

Sasha’s back on Monday, seeming none the worse for the wear, and they settle into the usual business of things. Tim and Sasha do their usual weekly lunch; when they get back, Melanie offers to buy Martin lunch and they end up talking about the weekend. It turns out she was at the parade herself, with Georgie, and they have a decent laugh about not having run into each other. She’s curious about Charlie, though, and Martin ends up showing her the pictures he took over the weekend.

“So when are you going to adopt this kid?” Melanie asks as they head back to the Institute. It’s the first day of spring, but you wouldn’t know it from the grey and gloomy weather. It’s also started raining—shocker—and they’re huddled into their jackets with the hoods pulled up because both of them are too stubborn to carry umbrellas unless it’s pouring buckets. “I mean, you said he’s an orphan, and his grandmother doesn’t seem to care much about him. And it’s obvious he adores you all. Could do worse than having the three of you as dads.”

Martin nearly misses his step, but manages to recover. “It’s not really something we’ve talked about. But…hypothetically, if we were going to try and convince Mrs. Calloway to let us take him off her hands, we’d probably want to wait until after we’re sure it’s safe, you know? He’s a little kid. He doesn’t need to be mixed up in…all of this.”

“Fair. Meanwhile, you can just keep spoiling the hell out of him and rescuing him when you can.”

“That’s the plan.” Martin holds the Archives door open for her.

Elias is unusually present all afternoon, which puts all of them on edge. It’s not until they’re home and making dinner that Tim says quietly to Martin, “I think something’s wrong with Jon.”

Fear lances through Martin’s chest. “What makes you think that?”

Tim shrugs and hands him the lettuce. “We haven’t really heard from him since he left, except in texts. Sasha says he got in touch with her over the weekend and asked her to look into something for him—apparently Gertrude got arrested while she was in America—and she said he sounded kind of off. And now Elias is lurking about? I don’t doubt for a minute that something’s gone wrong and Elias is trying to either make things worse or find out if we know.”

“Surprised he didn’t say anything,” Martin mutters. He bites his lower lip hard enough that he feels it split and forces himself to stop. “U-unless, unless he was trying to see whether or not we could See across the ocean or whatever.”

“I’d like to think we would. Know if he was in danger, I mean. But…God. We didn’t know he’d been kidnapped or threatened or any of it. Anything could be happening and we’re not there to help.” Tim’s voice breaks on the last words.

“He’ll be okay,” Martin says, less because he actually believes it and more because he needs to believe it. “He promised.”

“Yeah.” Tim leans into Martin for a minute, then goes back to cooking.

Somehow they make it through dinner, and a couple games of backgammon after, but Martin can tell they’re both still tense and he’s already resigning himself to a restless night for both of them as they start to settle in. Melanie’s going to give them hell in the morning, he can feel it…

As the thought passes through his mind, his phone rings. A phone call this late at night is never good news, and Martin’s anxiety goes into overdrive. Something’s happened to Jon, or to Charlie, or to Sasha or Melanie…or else it’s the home calling about his mum.

He grabs for the phone and answers without looking at the display. “Hello?”

“Martin?”

Just his name, but the soft draw of the first syllable is as familiar to Martin as his own heartbeat, and he sits up straighter. “Jon? Jon, are—h-hang on.” He makes eye contact with Tim, whose head jerked up as Martin said Jon’s name, and fumbles with the phone for a minute before activating the speaker button and holding it out in front of him. “Can you still hear me?”

“Yes, I hear you just fine.” Jon’s voice is a little tinny but perfectly clear.

Tim gives a near-silent sigh and sinks down onto the side of the bed next to Martin. “Jon, thank God. We were starting to worry about you.”

“Tim?” Jon’s sigh is far more audible. “I’m sorry. I—I didn’t mean to—i-it’s been a rough week. How—is everything all right with you?”

“We’re fine. No problems.” Martin puts the arm not occupied with his phone around Tim’s shoulders, and Tim slides an arm around his waist. “Are you—how’s the—did you find anything?”

“I—I don’t know. The address Gertrude gave Zhang Xiaoling to forward anything to didn’t really pan out; it’s a short-term rental place, there must have been a dozen people through there since she and Gerard Keay stayed. The owner said he heard calliope music from West Pullman park a few nights when they were staying here, but nothing more than that.” Jon takes a deep breath. “I’m in Pittsburgh now. The records you found—that’s where Gerard Keay died, so I just…wanted to check up on that. The hospital—I could only find one nurse who remembered him being admitted. His cancer was pretty far advanced…he’d had a seizure, and they did their best, but he had another one and they couldn’t save him. The nurse was the one who told me Gertrude had been arrested—did Sasha tell you about that?”

“She did,” Tim says. “She also said you sounded…off.”

Jon’s silent for a moment. “I—was. I wasn’t feeling well. It took me far too long to realize, but—th-there was a statement I read while I was at Pu Songling, I thought I’d be okay, but a-apparently things have…progressed faster than I expected. I was—hungry, I suppose. I hadn’t thought to bring a statement. I was dizzy and weak and close to passing out, and—I opened the front pocket of my bag and found a statement in there. Was that—was it one of you?”

“Martin thought of it,” Tim says. “Right before you left, while you were showering, he asked if you’d brought a statement with you.”

“Tim’s the one who put it in your bag, though,” Martin adds.

“I should have thought of it. I should have—I really didn’t expect to be gone this long.” Jon sighs heavily. “Thank you both. Seriously. I—I might have been in actual danger if you hadn’t. But I’m okay now. I promise. I read the statement and…well, I’ve been asleep most of the day, honestly. I think I needed it.”

“Jesus,” Martin mutters. He has to close his eyes for a moment, and he feels Tim press closer to him. “The—did you, um, did you find out anything else about Gertrude?”

“Oh. Yes. She was arrested for trespassing—they found her in the morgue stood over Gerard Keay’s body, reading from a large, strangely-shaped book. Apparently his body was…mutilated, though they didn’t know if she did it, and she managed to talk them out of pressing charges somehow. The officer I spoke to doesn’t remember how. I—I may not have been able to draw as much power, being as drained as I was, but it’s also possible, even probable, that he really doesn’t remember.”

Martin looks at Tim, whose eyes reflect the worry Martin’s feeling himself. “So now what?”

Jon is silent again, but before Martin can repeat the question, he says, quietly but firmly, “I think it’s just another dead end, and I’ve decided it’s the last one. I’ve booked a ticket on a Greyhound to Washington, DC tomorrow. I’m going to stop in at the Usher Foundation, just in case they have anything that might be helpful, and then I’m coming home.”

Martin relaxes, and he feels a lot of the tension bleed out of Tim as well. “So you should be back…”

“Well, the bus doesn’t get into Washington until…hold on.” There’s the sound of fumbling and clicking. “I’d be there around five o’clock in the evening, so I likely won’t be able to even stop by the Usher Foundation until Wednesday morning. My intention is to be there as soon as they open. I don’t anticipate them having anything useful, honestly, so…if I’m fortunate, I’ll be home by Wednesday night. Worst-case scenario, early Thursday morning.”

“Call us when you know,” Tim says. “We’ll pick you up.”

“If it’s too early in the morning—”

“We’ll know enough in advance that we can set alarms. Come on, Jon, we’re not making you take the Underground home—or worse, a taxi. You’ve been away long enough. We’ll come and get you.”

“Okay. Okay,” Jon says softly. He clears his throat and adds, “How are you doing? How are—is Elias leaving you all alone?”

“For the most part. He was hovering today,” Martin answers. “We think he’s been watching you a bit, and…maybe just leaving us be to see what happens. He, um—we’ve got a new Archival Assistant.”

“We do? Who? Oh, God, did he transfer someone in?”

“Nope.” Tim pops the P hard. “He intercepted Melanie when she came by on Tuesday to read the Ivy Meadows file. Suggested she might want the job.”

“And she accepted?” Jon sounds horrified. “We warned her!”

“I know, but she’s good at this,” Martin tells him. “The researching and all. And…well, at least she knew what she was getting into. I don’t think it’s a bad thing, Jon.”

Jon sighs. “I trust your judgment. Other than that…outside of work. Are you two okay? You’re not…overloading yourselves or—or overworking or anything, right?”

“No. We’re taking it easy,” Tim promises. “Checking each other. Sasha did a bit much, got a bit close, but she took a long weekend and she’s fine. And Melanie stopped us from bringing anything home over the weekend. We actually spent it with Charlie. Took him to the zoo, the parade, that sort of thing.”

“The p—right, right, it’s St. Patrick’s Day weekend. How was it?”

They take turns telling Jon about the weekend. Martin’s already transferred the photos off his phone and onto his laptop to save space, but he promises to show Jon when he gets home. Jon laughs in all the right places.

“It sounds like you had fun,” he says, and there’s a definite wistful note to his voice. “It sounds like Charlie did, too.”

“He did,” Martin says. “He kept saying how much he wished you were there, though. He misses you. A lot.”

“I miss him, too.” Jon sighs. “And I miss both of you. Badly. I-it’s not…this hasn’t been an easy trip. Not just the, the usual issues of travel. Airport food and customs and layovers. Mechanical issues and weather delays and people who don’t seem to have grasped the concept of deodorant. Hotels and taxis and…all of that is bad enough. Open-ended travel is bad. But…then there’s the issue of just being me. Of being the Archivist.” He’s quiet for a moment. “It’s a lot harder to resist using these abilities when I’m alone. When I don’t have you two there to—counterbalance me, I suppose. It’s like I’m constantly balancing on a tightrope, and I know I have to keep walking the line, I know it’s what I’m supposed to do, but…”

“But?” Tim prompts when Jon trails off and doesn’t continue.

“The rope is only a few inches off the ground,” Jon says in a low voice. “Or that’s what it looks like. When I, when I look to one side or the other…it doesn’t look like I have so far to fall. I could so easily step off and be on the ground, and it wouldn’t hurt at all. I don’t have to balance so carefully. There’s a voice just over my shoulder, whispering for me to step off, to save my feet, that there’s more to life than this narrow back and forth…”

A chill runs up Martin’s spine. He recognizes the description, actually. What they’re doing, the way they’re all trying to avoid overusing their abilities…it does feel a bit like walking a high wire. Martin keeps telling himself not to look down, to take it slow, to put one foot in front of the other, because he knows if he loses his concentration for even a second, he’ll fall. In his mind, there’s a platform at either end of the wire, and Tim stands at one end and Jon stands at the other, so no matter which way he turns, one of them is there, reaching for him, waiting for him when he’s done. He’s safe as long as he focuses on them.

Somehow, he doesn’t think that metaphor will help Jon.

“Are you sure, though?” he asks. “A-about…the rope not being so high.”

“No,” Jon whispers. “If I look at my feet…if I look straight down, I know how deep the chasm goes, so deep I can’t see the bottom. It’s just—it’s so tempting, Martin. I d-don’t want to put the burden of my humanity on the two of you. I need to be able to do it on my own. But it’s hard. It’s so much harder when I’m alone. And the worst of it is that there’s a part of me, a tiny voice, telling me that it’s just me, that I’m alone, that no one will ever know if I give in to temptation, just for a moment. Just to try.”

Tim huffs. “That tiny voice sounds an awful lot like Elias to me, boss.”

“I know. A-and I know I’d…I don’t want to let you down.”

Martin can’t really explain what those words mean to him, but from the way Tim leans into him, he feels the same way. He swallows around the sudden lump in his throat and tries to sound practical. “We’ll talk about it when you’re home. But it’s okay, Jon. I promise it’s okay. You’re—you’re stronger than Elias wants you to be.”

“It’s so much easier to believe these things when you say them.” Jon laughs softly, but there’s a genuine lightness to it—like some of the dark dread has lifted from his mind. “It’s—God, what time is it? Five o’clock? You’re not still at work, are you?”

“Time difference,” Tim reminds him. “It’s ten here.”

“For God’s sake, why didn’t you tell me? You both need sleep,” Jon scolds. “You have work in the morning.”

“Fine, but only if you promise to go get food,” Martin retorts. “Actual food. You’ve been asleep all day, you probably need it. Get some food and take it easy.”

“All right. All right. I think there’s a restaurant attached to the hotel.” Jon takes a deep breath. “I’ll call you when I’m on the bus.”

“You do that,” Tim says.

“Please be careful, Jon,” Martin says softly. “We can’t lose you.”

“I promise,” Jon says, his voice solemn. “Get some sleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Love you both.”

He ends the call before Martin can respond, or actually process what Jon’s just said. The stunned look on Tim’s face indicates he feels the same. For just a second, Martin lets himself hope…but no, that can’t be. And even if it is, it’s a conversation all three of them need to have, not just him and Tim. They can’t make decisions like that without getting Jon’s input.

“Come on,” he says instead, reaching for the charging cable to plug his phone in. “Jon’s right, we need sleep.”

“Yeah,” Tim says, sounding a bit dazed. “Sounds good.”

They crawl under the blankets and turn off the light. Tim rests his head on Martin’s shoulder, and Martin runs a hand through Tim’s hair without conscious thought. For a long time, there’s no sound but their breathing. Martin assumes Tim has fallen asleep, but as relieved as he is to have heard from Jon, his mind is buzzing too hard to actually let him rest.

Suddenly, Tim murmurs, “She’d seen us before.”

“Who?” Martin is instantly on the alert, wondering who he needs to be worried about, who might be set to hurt them.

“The woman at the parade. She’d seen us before, when we took Charlie to the fireworks. She was asking where Jon was.” Tim’s head shifts restlessly. “She thought Jon was Charlie’s bio-dad and…”

Martin nods slowly. “One of the zookeepers complimented me on my ‘lovely family.’ I—I think a lot of people just…assume we are one.”

“I’m not upset by that.” Tim’s voice is drowsy. It’s like this is the last thing he had to get out to keep him from sleeping.

“No,” Martin agrees. There’s another lump in his throat and he has to swallow around it before finishing. “Me, neither.”

And maybe that is what’s blocking him from sleeping, because the next thing he knows the alarm is going off and sunlight is poking through the gap in the curtains and Tim is still warm and safe in his arms, and they’re one day closer to having Jon home.

[failing-to-write-again]

Sakamaki Character Analysis: Cuntdelia's Children

continuing on to Cordelia's kids now. Again, they all need help in some form. Although full warning they aren't my favourites so I may not be as on point as I feel I was with Reiji and Shu.

Ayato:

So Ayato has a god complex and a narcissistic streak, why is that any why does that mean he needs the special care? Well his mum was abuisve, that's a fact. In the games we hear mentions of physical punishments as well as emotional manipulation, gas lighting, and all that other horrid stuff. Ayato is a ball of insecurities stuck in the way his mother forced on him. He has to be the best because she said she has to, and as a defense mechanism due to her constant criticism he developed his "I'm the best call me Ore-Sama" thing.

Now a lot of fanfics just see you the reader make fun of the ore-sama thing or be too depressed to even care about it, and lemme tell you why I don't think they'd actually the best thing for him. So let's say your mother, a primary care giver, puts you down all the time and makes fun of you. You grow up isolated and constantly feeling you aren't good enough but don't have anyone to talk to so internalize it all and put on an act. Then you get a person trying to date you or befriend you that does exactly what your mother did. Now when I put it like that do you see why the whole "pfft whatever oreo-sama" thing won't actually help. You'll end up dead when he snaps I'll bet money on it.

I think Ayato needs a partner who won't pander to him but won't put him down either. So when you don't want to make him takoyaki say "Not right now, I'll do it when I'm finished this level in Mario. Wanna play with me Ore-Sama?" don't say "Go do it yourself oreo-sama. Wait do you seriously not know how to make it? lol."

Furthermore push him safely. Ask for help making the takoyaki, start small with a "hey I can't reach this pan and you're super tall can you help?" as to slowly built up to "hey will you mix this sauce for me as I prepare the meat? I'll tell you what to add the ingredients are all there." I feel Ayato would benefit from this as he'll slowly realise he's learning how to do things. I think a big part of why Ayato struggles is that he was told he needed to be perfect first try and so he gets disheartened easily. Home boy needs compliments and you to not bring attention to his mistakes. Just be like "oh that's fine you can add more salt if it'd too sweet or sugar if it's too salty."

This goes for everything too he's gonna need someone who slowly teaches him, and trust me the day he realised he's learning he'll be greatfull, he won't show it much at the start but over time he'll get better. Like remember when Ayato slept with Yui in the anime? Sorta like that happens and he whispers a thank you when he thinks you're asleep. Then it slowly becomes a thing of if he knows it's just you and him in the room he won't be against putting his head on your shoulder when he needs some love.

When his grades improve you better make him takoyaki and suffocate him with hugs and compliments because he needs that to be a more open and better person.

Laito:

Laito is a hard one, because I see many s/o for him written as anti-sex who won't give into him, or those who give in whenever and I don't think either would fully work.

If you meet through a one night stand obviously you're never going to get in. I think his best chance would be a classmate he sits beside often, potentially a sacrificial bride but I'm kinda meh on that. He needs reliable no touch love before moving on to anything. So let's say he noticed you doing a crossword before class one day (it's canon he loves em) and he helps on a word or something. Now response here is everything, no swooning and "omg Laito-senpai sleep with me" crap but also don't ice queen it. Hearing "I don't want to sleep with you leave" will shut him out from you forever. I think something akin to "Oh thanks Laito, I didn't know you liked crosswords you seem pretty good at them." Now let's break this down as to why this works best in my opinion. First off you thanked him for something that had nothing to do with physical touch in anyway, second you complimented him but not on his body or skills with said body. Instead you showed appreciation for his brain. And finally the "I didn't know you liked crosswords" gives him an opening to start discussing interests other then sex.

Laito was sexually abused and I think as a result it'd need to be slow and steady with things. So holding his hand and not letting him touch the boob just yet shows you don't want sex you want him. Talking to him about things like fashion means he can do his perv on the girls for a bit before slowly toning down and starting to talk more on the outfits. He will definitely be sleeping with other people at this point, you're not dating at all. I think he'll slowly begin to appreciate the routine of having one person in his life he doesn't need to give his body to, and he may just open up about the abuse. I think being supportive and gently saying something like "well I'm not a professional so I'm not going to be much help, but if you decide to talk to a therapist I'll be there every step of the way for you." BE HIS CRUTCH.

I think he's the most likely to consider and maybe even go to therapy before dating you (I think eventually all the boys would be convinced to start going). I think it would be in therapy where he realises the fact he wants to be near you all the time isn't lust like with other girls but it's love. I imagine he'd be like "It's weird because I want to be with them all the time but fully clothed and eating macaroons or watching movies, not [the following is censored for a good reason]

I think Laito has the ability to be a great partner if he can deal with his abuse and PTSD from said abuse.

Kanato:

Kanato is a tricky case. He definitely has bipolar disorder or manic depression or some serious mental health condition past just PTSD or depression brought on by abuse. So I think he'll need medication and an actual therapist although getting him there is the hard part.

Firsts off toss the "Yeah I have a Teddy too and love sweets as well let's be 5 together" fantasy out the window, especially if the file up sentence to that is "I also like killing people, we're both crazy". Also you can't be a sacrificial bride, you'd be dead or he'd ignore your opinion.

I think maybe if you went to a therapist for a less severe issue (anxiety or something that doesn't make you STAB PEOPLE WITH FORKS) then maybe if he was following you or picking you up and had a meltdown the therapist would actually help him through it which will be like a "omg I don't have to scream to feel better" moment for him I think.

So from there he goes to therapy. He's still childish in his likes and stuff but he doesn't kill people or keep his weird ass dolls. You need to set some ground rules. "No I'm not going to make you cake unless my homework is finished and that's something I have to stick with. Remember your breathing, the longer you shout or be angry the longer you'll end up waiting for cake." Wear his pretty dresses and be nice to teddy and all that good stuff. But set limits. I see Kanato is pretty asexual, like I don't see him as the kinda guy to want sex, I don't think he's against romantic feelings for someone but I don't think he'd have sex with a s/o.

[xae-in-a-coat]

Various doodles to fight the insufferable art block

Concept design/reference sheet for Xaje’s Lesser Nobodies(Bards):

Xaje’s joke weapons(the Pointless Quill & Eraser-less Pencil):

A newly recompleted Jae & tiny protagonist:

‘Shoo! Get away you bothersome creature of light! This here is my bread! Mine! Not yours!-’ :

Battle description + doodle:

As previously stated during my first rendition of Organization members I, II, & III, yours truly is currently(& quite unfortunately)caught within the throes of an art block. &, as painstakingly desperate as I am to get the progress moving along, that bloody motivation sucking monster simply won’t allow me to do so without a fight. So, here I am now, chipping away at smaller, more manageable, subject matters(including that of a soon-to-be-posted comic). Hopefully you’ll all still be patiently waiting till then. Here, take two of my latest unanimated cutscenes:

*Standing atop the balcony of an undisclosed building, our hero & villain find themselves eyeing an obliviously lovestruck duo strolling dreamily below. Protagonist, with admiration, & Xaje… Not so much.*

Protagonist: Aww, they’re together! Isn’t that just the most romantic thing!

Xaje: Ugh, romance this & romance that, don’t you light dwellers ever grow tired of the sappy genre?

Protagonist: Well it isn’t my favorite thing of course, but still- There’s just something magical about seeing… You know… That.

*The camera pans down onto the couple once more, now revealing that they’ve embraced each other in a sense(much to Xaje’s disgust).*

Xaje: Oh the things love will make people do, such foolishness simply cannot be handled without at least the slightest whim of violence. Here, allow me to demonstrate.

*He snaps his fingers, swift & sudden, summoning a manageable, but nonetheless shocking, amount of his Bards. Watching with malevolent satisfaction as they interrupted the lovers in their moment.*

Protagonist: XAJE NO!-

*In a haste to halt the unnecessary attack, our Protagonist summons their Keyblade & rushed to jump down towards the scene, would Xaje have not removed the creatures himself. Which, luckily, he had. Using his free hand, he grabbed their arm in a vice grip seconds before they could leap.*

Xaje: Tch, save the heroics for a better time P/N, that was simply a brief demonstration of my words, remember? Besides, these two can handle themselves.

*Nodding towards the sweethearts, who were now in a state of utter shock rather than dreaminess, he scowled.*

Protagonist: YOU SCARED THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUTTA THEM YOU SOULLESS RAT!

Xaje: ‘Soulless Rat?’ Heh, well that’s new.

Protagonist: & DON’T FORGET DARKNESS DRUNKEN, PEN COLLECTING, ENGLISH LANGUAGE ARTS OBSESSED, ANGSTY FANFIC WRITER!-

Xaje: Wow, I’m impressed. How long did it take you to come up with all that?

Protagonist: A lil while I guess, I’m not exactly sure what goes on in that misshapen brain of mine when I’m all fired up, you know?

Xaje: I’d understand that more than anyone P/N.

*They stood in silence for a short moment. Xaje’s hand still closed tightly around Protagonist’s arm. His grip steadily increasing as the seconds ticked by.*

Protagonist: Hey uh- Xaje, my arm-

Xaje: Oh- M-My apologies, I forgot.

*In an attempt to hide his embarrassment, he released them, dusting his hands off as he did.*

Protagonist: It’s fine. Just- Maybe don’t send a mob of Nobodies after innocent bystanders next time.

Xaje: Tch, I’ll send a mob of Nobodies after anyone I please, they do belong to me after all. It’s only right that I use them to fulfill my duty.

Protagonist: & your ‘duty’ is to harm innocent people who’re just trying to be happy? Xaje… You know that’s not-

HEY ARE YOU TWO OKAY UP THERE?!

*Suddenly interrupted by one of the partners’ concerned voice, Protagonist made to reassure them. Xaje however, had other plans in mind.*

Protagonist: YEAH! WE’RE- I MEAN, I’M FINE! THANKS! SORRY ABOUT THOSE NOBOD-

*Heckled once more, Protagonist abruptly felt themself getting pulled back, now unable to complete their intended statements.*

Xaje: Silence yourself fool! These are mere commoners! We can’t risk being seen-

Protagonist: NO! YOU CAN’T RISK BEING SEEN! YOU’RE ALWAYS RUNNING AWAY & HIDING SOMEWHERE IN THE DARK REALM! ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME DO THAT TOO?!

*Knowing that it wasn’t a good time to argue, let alone fight, Xaje promptly awakened his shadow & ordered it to keep our struggling Protagonist subdued before summoning a portal which lead back to the Castle That Never Was.*

Xaje: Come along now P/N, we’ll settle this elsewhere.

*In they went, a Nobody, his shadow, & a captured Hero reduced to nothing.*

-𝙵𝚒𝚗

*Upon their arrival at the castle, & specifically the more so secluded half of it, Xaje unlocked one of the many corridors before him, revealing a vast expanse of ivory emptiness. Regal white walls coated in ebony shadow. Carelessly releasing our Protagonist into the lovely abyss.*

Xaje: Stay here, It’s not like I’ll be allowing you an easy escape anytime soon. Not until I get what I want that is…

Protagonist: Xaje, what do you want?

*The question caught him off guard, leaving the Nobody with a blank slate rather than a witty comeback.*

Xaje: I… I don’t know…

Protagonist: Well… Whatever it is, I’m sure you’ll be able to find it if you’d just choose to accept the light for once-

Xaje: NO! IT MAY NOT COME AS OBVIOUS TO A DIMWIT LIKE YOU, BUT THE SECOND I LEAVE THIS STATE OF NONEXISTENCE I’LL REVERT BACK INTO THAT USELESS BOY WHO COULDN’T DO ANYTHING BUT CRY OVER ALL OF HIS IRREPARABLE FLAWS! HAVE YOU NOT A MIND TO UNDERSTAND HOW HARROWING THAT WOULD SEEM?! HOW AGONIZING IT WOULD FEEL?!

Protagonist: But just for once you’d be real! You’d be YOU!

Xaje: WHAT IF I DON’T LIKE ME!?-

*For a moment, he could almost feel the ever so familiar trickle of teardrops making their escape from the prison of his eyes. A distant memory he longed to forget. One that belonged to a heart whom he wished to permanently discard. A feeling that was far too tired of being caged. But still, he refused to let it out, not here, not now, & especially not in front of this overtly gifted hero. Thus, he silenced himself, just as he had done countless times before, he denied his being of a true release, masking the pain with a false sense of anger & cruel empowerment instead. Destroying the bud of a newly sprouted heart.*

Xaje: I- … Look… My motivations may not be the clearest, but I know there’s one thing I’ll definitely need in order to get to them: Power, & you along with your little companions can provide me with just that. So, till the time comes, you’ll stay put & do as I say, you’re the bait in this operation of mine, is that clear?

Protagonist: Xaje please-

Xaje: Is. That. Clear?

Protagonist: … Yes…

Xaje: Good.

*Upon successfully implementing the forced agreement, Xaje swiftly turned to leave the otherwise vacant quarters, intending to keep the Keyblade Wielder locked up until they would become of further use.*

Protagonist: Wait!-

*Reluctantly, he stopped in his tracks to look back at them, a distinct scowl evident in his gaze.*

Xaje: Ugh, what could you possibly need now fool?

Protagonist: Promise me something, please-

Xaje: Tch- & just what might that be?

Protagonist: Do whatever it is that you must, destroy me if you have to, but please, don’t hurt my friends! They may seem a little hardheaded at times but that’s only because they never knew you like I did!… They never knew how different you used to be… How kind you once were…

*The everlasting gratitude could be felt in their words, still gentle & so very patient despite their captor’s deeply contrasting demeanor. I suppose you’d expect no less from a hero.*

Xaje: Fine… Though I’d prefer not to keep any promises, I’ll do my best to uphold your wishes this one time. But be warned, don’t allow yourself to become too expectant now P/N. When the time comes for me to fight, I’ve nothing left but to do so. Understand?

Protagonist: Yes, I understand…

Xaje: Very well then, I believe now would be a good time for me to leave?

Protagonist: O-Of course…

*Resisting the urge to roll his tired eyes, he advanced towards the threshold. Nearly making his escape when a certain naively gracious voice called out to him from behind… Again.*

Protagonist: Hey- Uh Xaje?- Just one last thi-

Xaje: WHAT IN THE NAME OF KINGDOM HEARTS COULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE LEFT TO SAY?!

Protagonist: T-THANK YOU!- I really mean it by the way…

Xaje: … Whatever… Your cheapened gratifications mean nothing to me either way. In fact, I’d appreciate it so much more if you’d just learn to quiet that insufferable voice of yours. Hmm? What do you say?

*Shrugging in a rather sarcastic manner, he left. For real this time. Listening with his eyes closed as the door shut behind him, sending a melancholic echo all throughout the elegant palace of sorrowful souls. Leaving his prisoner to wallow in their accepted despair.*

-𝙵𝚒𝚗

Progress shots:

[that-bi-bitch-writes]

Dreams of Indigo (Ch.7)

Sorry for the late post y’all. As you may know my computer is broken but I figured I didn’t want the year to go by without another chapter. more notes down below

Hi Hi!! I’m making a little switch to the way I’m writing but I don’t really want to backtrack so I’m just giving you a heads up now! Also sorry about the cringe and predictable content I need it to further the story and then we can REALLY get somewhere.Enjoy the sappy content

Content Warning: Swearing, reconciliation, dragon jokes, foreshadowing

Last // Next

“[Name]”

That voice. That goddamned voice. [Name] had been fine without them. It was okay. They didn’t need a rooftop rendez-vous during lunch. They didn’t need friends to send you the homework when they’d felt too lazy to stop reading fanfic and actually be productive. They didn’t need anyone. They could just walk to their first class of the day completely unbothered

“[Name] please!”

But that voice, to [Name]’s displeasure, was like being put under Shinso’s quirk. His thoughts kept racing, going thousands of miles a minute but he was not in control of his body. He had waited just like he’d been asked. The annoyingly hypnotizing voice was Akihiro, and though his pleading tone sounded much different than their last conversation [Name] was still a little hesitant.

But Akihiro had asked again. He pleaded. He had put up a chase, and deep down [Name] knew that’s what they had wanted. To feel loved and desired and needed. [Name] didn’t have to make the first step to reconnecting their friendship because it actually meant something. Their absence meant something.

So they froze. 

“[Name] I was wrong. There is no other way to say it. You know-- I have a habit of completely talking out of my ass when I’m nervous and I missed you. I know that’s no excuse but-

“You were gone for two weeks after a big reveal in front of the whole school and I wanted to let you know my feelings about you didn’t change. I still love you, you’re a great friend. 

“I just looked at you in a different light. A huge secret, one you hadn’t told your best friends was kind of revealed to the school at once. It changes things. But different isn’t necessarily bad and I’m sorry I made you seem like the villain”

“I’m no villain” [Name] managed out

“We know” Akihiro responded 

“You said that without hesitation. I’m guessing you mean it”

“I did. I may have foot in my mouth but you know I don’t lie. The rest of the group probably wants to apologize too but I know I was the one who rocked the boat the most. We all missed you. You’re like all of us put together. The glue or the missing puzzle piece I guess? Anyway, meet us for lunch later. I love you bye”

[Name] watched Akihiro turn down the hallway. They were watching a lot of people walk away lately. But it’s pretty easy to watch someone walk away when you know they’ll be back. 

“Okay” [Name] whispered to themselves and then in a burst of courage and a desire to embarrass Akhiro in front of the school shouted “I love you too Fukuhara-kun” and rushed off to their first class.

“I made up with my friends Toshi. I think you’ll like them” [Name] thought as they sat in their seat watching the door for a flustered Akihiro “Don’t worry though. I won’t leave you alone. Besides we still have done any crimes or gay shit”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

“Okay okay no mushy mushyness from you Akamane I was fidgeting all day after Akihiro told me he loved me”

“First of all [name]” Fumiko started “I think it’s really messed up Akihiro gets called by his first name and I am downgraded to ‘Akamane’”

“Sorry Fumiko but don’t cry about it”

“Awk- I do NOT cry”

“What about last week when you thought Artemis approved of your newest lesbian crush” [Name] fired back

“And when she got stuck on that one polynomial project” Akira supplied

“Excuse both of you but I am a strong capable woman who bleeds to use her quirk-”

“Yeah, but you’re still a cryer Fumiko. You being a strong woman does not negate your tendency to cry at both minor inconveniences and attractive people breathing” Akihiro shot back. “It is a part of you and we love you for it”

“What’s with him today” Akira aksed

“Are you dying?” Fumiko and [Name] Asked “Jinx” they whispered to each other before turning their attention to Akihiro

“I am not dying. I just thought I could use my bluntness to I don’t know make people feel good. I have feelings too you know and i’m not like a tsundere or anything I’m just really blunt at times and I’m awkward and I don’t want to chase you guys away permanently”

[Name], Akira, and Fumiko felt blessed in that moment. Fumiko had tears in her eyes and desperately tried to blink them back. Akira who hadn’t said much all day broke the silence by cracking a joke.

“We love you too. Scales and all, so don’t worry about hoarding us you dragon. We aren’t going anywhere. Even when [Name] causes some trouble and gets kicked out of school or something.” 

It was a weak joke but it was perfect to lighten the mood. In that moment [Name] felt invincible

“Hurry up and eat your lunch [Name] you’ll run out of time and I don’t want you starving all day” Fumiko fussed

[Name] bit into their lunch, enjoying the ongiri their mom had packed.

‘He’s silent and in a good mood. It’s the perfect time to ask’ Akira smirked internally “So [name]. Who’s the purple kid you’ve been hanging around and how long have you been in love with him?” 

[Name] choked on rice as the imaginary camera panned away from the group and focused on the sun shining over the city. Life was still good. If only it could last

[avengerscompound]

Catch and Release - 9

Catch and Release: A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers x F!Reader

Word Count:  1744

Rating:  E

Square filled:  @star-spangled-bingo​ - "It's really important to me that Cap never finds out about this."

Warnings:  Insecurity, Negotiating sex

Synopsis: When you overexert yourself on a mission with Steve and Bucky, the boys admit to having fantasies that involve you.  Fantasies that you share.  But with one Super Soldier needs intimacy and the other is still dealing with being touch starved, exploring those desires without anyone catching feelings is a little tricky.

Chapter 9: Caging the Beast

After the failure of your first real request to try something specific with them you’d spent the day with random thoughts popping in your head of things you might like to try.  They were all really one-on-one things though.  The thought popped in your head that maybe some voyeurism might be good.  Watching them. Having one of them watch the two of you. Or maybe if one of them was fucking you, while the other was fucking them.  It was distracting, to say the least.

You went back to your apartment that night a little worked up, but at the same time feeling that you need to make sure the three of you didn’t fall into the habit of just falling into bed with each other every night.  They needed time together and you needed time alone to remember they weren’t yours.

There was a knock on your door as you were preparing your dinner and you looked around puzzled.

“It’s Sergeant Barnes,” FRIDAY announced, sensing your confusion.

“Can you let him in?”  You asked, going back to what you were doing.

There was a buzz and a click at the door and Bucky let himself inside.  “Smells good in here.  He said as he made his way into the kitchen.”

“Thanks.  It’s nothing special.  I���m not quite the cook you are.”  You replied.  “What’s up?”

Bucky came over to you and looked into your pan, where you were tossing a stirfry.  “I just… I wanted to talk to you about something?”

You looked up at him and furrowed your brow.  He sounded off.  Worried and slightly unsure about something and the only thing you could think was the thing you had been trying to avoid had happened.  Someone had caught feelings and someone was getting jealous.  You tensed up a little and left out a breath, preparing yourself for a talk you didn’t want to have.

“Sure.  Do we need alcohol for this?”  You asked, turning off the heat on your wok, and tipping the contents into your bowl.

Bucky shook his head.  “I shouldn’t think so,” he said.  “But can we sit?”

You nodded and grabbed a couple of drinks from the fridge and headed to the table with your dinner and Bucky on your tail.  You both took a seat and you unfastened the cap on your bottle of iced tea.  “It’s bad, isn’t it?  Someone’s about to get really hurt?”

Bucky chuckled and patted the back of your hand.  “No.  Geez, darlin’.  You’re worse than I am.”  He teased.  “I just… wanted to see if I couldn’t brainstorm something with you.  And, it's really important to me that Cap never finds out about this.”

You relaxed a little and gave him a small nod to continue as you took a drink. He ran his hand through his hair and let out a breath.  “Okay.  So,” he started.  “One of the really great things that has happened since you started to sleep with us from time to time is Steve has really opened up about things he’s into.   It’s like… he had this one fantasy about sleeping with a woman and me being there with him for that, and he got it, and it went so well for him because it was you.  And you’re just…”  He smiled and shook his head, looking a little wistful.  “You.  And now he’s bringing up other things he’s thought about or read about and wanted to try.  They aren’t crazy.  Honestly, I think he did his most way-out fantasy with the three of us together.  But he’s talking about them.”

“That’s great, Bucky,” you said, reaching over and giving his hand a squeeze. “I’m really glad you’re clicking.”

“I mean, don’t get me wrong,” Bucky said, nodding a little.  “We were fine.  It’s been a long-ass road to get where we are.  But for him, this is like a revelation.  Back when we were kids, before the war, women didn’t really look at him.  He wouldn’t even let them, most of the time.  I’d bring him on double dates and he’d push them away if they even looked like they might be half-interested in him.  He couldn’t admit to me about wanting to be with me.  And he had no interest in anyone else either.  Until he met Peggy.  And then, it was just talking about dancing all the time.  And fondue, whatever the hell that was supposed to mean.  Just code words.  Which … we were army, ya know?  It wasn’t like everyone around him wasn’t saying the dirtiest shit you ever heard.  Not Steve though.  So to have him now say, Bucky, I wanna fuck you up against the window.  Or asking to bring a mirror into the room.  Or Jesus, he dragged me into a public bathroom the other day.  It was here in the tower, but in a way that’s even more risky, because everyone knows him here.  I’m loving seeing him open up and explore that side of him.  That he’s doing it because I’m his person -” he put his hand over his heart and smiled.  “I love him so much.”

“... and now you want to stop bringing me in?”  You asked.

“No, that’s not…”

“It’s okay if you want it to stop, Bucky.  It was never meant to be a permanent arrangement.”  You assured him.

“No, please.  Just listen.”  He said.  You nodded and he gave your hand a squeeze.  “Steve’s brought up wanting to be tied up.  Maybe… you know, spanked.  Or just… you know?”

“Oh,” you said a little shocked.  You could see where the conversation was going.  But the idea of Steve wanting to sub was not something you had predicted at all.  But one of the things you hadn’t brought up as wanting to do was any kind of BDSM simply because of Bucky’s past.

“Yeah, I was a little surprised too,” Bucky said.  You could tell by the tone in his voice that he was trying to play it off as something light and unimportant, but there was pain running under it.  A hurt that came out of the idea he wasn’t enough and that he’d never be enough.  You recognized it immediately.  “But I - I just can’t do it.  I think about it, even just something simple like tying him up and I start seeing people I’ve hurt.”

“Hey,” you said, putting your hand on his arm.  “Steve won’t care if you can’t do that.  He’ll understand.  I’m sure he’s just bringing up things that turn him on.  We don’t all get to do the things that turn us on to think about.  We don’t even always want to do them.”

“No.  I know,” Bucky frowned.  “I want to give this to him.  I want to give him everything he wants.  But I don’t know how I can.  I thought about asking if you might be willing to do it without me.  Well, actually my first thought was paying an expert, but then I thought there was no way Steve would go for that. I mean… don’t get me wrong he’s not judgemental about shit like that…”

You listened to Bucky talk in an almost stunned silence.  You couldn’t remember ever hearing him string so many words together in a row.  When he was relaxed he definitely spoke more, but even then it was only a few sentences at a time.  Now here he was using honest to god paragraphs while he told you how he had considered getting a sex worker for his boyfriend who just so happened to be Captain freaking America.

“... I just don’t think it’s for him.  So then I thought, asking you to do it.  And I couldn’t think how I would ask.  But then even if I did, the thought of you and him alone?  It freaks me out.”

“Woah, Buck,” you interrupted.  “That was a lot.  I honestly think this might be one of those, ‘it stays a fantasy’ thing.”

“But… I want to be enough for him,” he said, looking at you.  His eyes pleaded with you to help him.  To fix him.  To make him enough for the man who loved him unconditionally and always had.

You got up out of your chair and moved over to him wrapping your arms around him and carding your fingers through his hair.  His arms circled your waist and he nuzzled into your stomach.  “Shh… Bucky.  That man loves you.  He loves you so fucking much.  You’re enough exactly how you are.”

Bucky didn’t say anything he just took a few slow deep breaths - in, holding it, and then out again - as you held him. “You don’t have to do anything.  I’m not asking you to do this for me.  But if you have any ideas about how I can do this, so I can give him everything he wants?”

 “Alright.  This might be feeding the problem rather than fixing it,” you said.  “Because Bucky, you are enough for him.  Trust me.  So… talk to your therapist about that.”

“Okay,” Bucky said, quietly. “What’s your idea?”

“I’ll think about how to do more, but for now, why don’t you try the nicer side of that world?  Ask him to do things and then praise him when he does.  And… I don’t know, pull his hair if you can do that.”

He nodded and looked up at you.  “Yeah.  Yeah, I think I can do that.”

“Alright.  And I’ll think about how I can help.  I mean, if you want me to.”  You added.

Bucky gave you a squeeze before letting you go.  “Thank you.  Thanks for listening to me too.  Especially when I was a jerk about the thing you wanted to do.”

You shrugged.  “It’s more a one-on-one thing, I think.”

“Is there anything we can do for you that might be a two on one thing?”  He asked, a hint of tease to his voice.

“Sure,” you said, looking down at him.  “You can fuck Steve, while he’s fucking me.”

Bucky got up, his expression resembling a hungry wolf. “You got it, darlin’.  Just name the day.”

“I’ll keep you notified.”  You said.  “Now you better get back to your hot boyfriend.  I bet he’s wondering where you are.”

“You’re right.”  He said and kissed his cheek.  “Thanks again.  See you tomorrow.”

“See ya,” you said, walking him to the door.

When he left you sat back down with your stirfry and started to consider ways you might be able to actually help with this.

// NEXT

[thran-duils]

From All Sides (P.4)

Title: From All Sides (Part Four) Summary: Fem!Reader x Dark!Pirate Tony. Tony is obsessed with a certain barmaid at port and showers her with gifts to try to bring her to his bed. She is resistant to his advances, her eyes elsewhere, specifically on her coworker, the cook. Although, that love is unrequited and always will be. The reader is forced into close quarters with Tony unexpectedly and sailing the sea, she slowly bends to his will. And he plans to give her all the affection he can to make sure she stays. Words: 2,420 Warnings (for the whole fic): Eventual smut, violence, angst, possessive behavior Warnings (for this chapter): Tony displays some homophobia

Part Three || Part Five || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

He was right, your head hurt the next morning. He tried to shake you awake and you whined, pulling the blanket over your head. Tony chuckled which only served to make you more upset about feeling sick.

Tony laid a soft kiss on your temple through the blanket, and said, “I’ll leave you be then, love. I will make sure some water is sent in. And some bread. Don’t leave the quarters without me. I don’t want you getting snatched up. Without me, you’ll look like fair game.”

You grumbled in response, and he gave you another kiss through the blanket before crawling out of bed.

<><><>

Walking down the dock towards the stairs to go up into the kitchens, Tony was greeted with Bucky and Steve sitting. He altered course and came out onto the overlook with them. Steve held out a piece of bread and Tony waved him off.

“I was heading in to get myself breakfast. And Y/N some bread.”

“So, she’s not feeling great?” Bucky questioned, taking a swig of water from his mug.

“No.”

“And did you…” Steve asked expectantly, trailing off. His raised brows indicated exactly what he was asking.

Tony sighed and shrugged, “Persistence pays off.”

“Jesus Christ, finally. Now you can stop whining about her going to bed alone,” Steve muttered, taking a big bite of his potatoes. “Even if it was only for a night that she obliged you.”

“Watch it,” Tony muttered, and Steve merely shrugged in response.

“She’s finnicky.”

“Not anymore,” Tony responded.

Bucky rose his brows, “At least you hope so.”

“I’ll make sure of it. She’s going to stay on the ship with me.” Steve and Bucky exchanged a look and Tony demanded, “What?”

“The men may not like that…” Bucky pointed out.

Tony waved them off, “They’ll get used to it. She’ll be a sight for sore eyes. Not that any of them will be allowed to touch her but I won’t toss anyone overboard for merely looking at her. In fact, I’ll be happy she is being admired and knowing she is mine.”

“Unless she gets back home and finds that guy,” Bucky commented, and Steve shot him a pissed off look at the mention of him. Bucky noticed both Tony and Steve glaring at him and he demanded, “What? You know it’s true! He was pining! And—”

“And what?” Tony snapped.

Bucky seemed to lose a little bit of steam seeing how adversarial Tony was. “Well, he seemed persistent.”

Grinding his teeth, Tony stepped closer, and he said, “That’s not a problem anymore.” Bucky furrowed his brow and Tony said in explanation as he pulled out his pipe, “Boy isn’t among the living anymore.

Realization washed across Bucky’s face.

“Why did you kill him?” Bucky asked, incredulous.

“I didn’t want him alive,” Tony responded simply, striking up his match.

“That’s fair,” Steve said.

“How is that fair?” Bucky snapped. “What if Y/N finds out? Or Peter for that matter? They were friends!”

“They won’t? Who is going to tell them? Dead men tell no tales,” Tony responded, lighting up his pipe.

“You didn’t have to shoot him,” Bucky muttered.

“Who says I shot him?” Tony asked, cocking an eyebrow and Bucky merely narrowed his eyes unimpressed. Tony smirked around his pipe before inhaling deeply. He blew the smoke rings out and shrugged. “I see smooth sailing in front of me because of that gunshot.”

<><><>

The ship stayed docked and you only left the room on the island to go grab food in the evening. You barely kept the stew down and Tony rubbed your back. You scowled at him, and he only smirked before going back to his own bowl. That night, he left you alone, letting you rest.

The next morning you woke up to him holding you close underneath the blankets. He felt you stir and he burrowed his mouth to your neck, kissing you gently. You smiled as you stretched before pressing back on him. He took the invitation and ground himself into your ass.

“If you’re going to do something, do it. Don’t tease,” you murmured, turning your head to meet his eyes. A salacious grin came over his face.

Tony lifted your leg and entered swiftly, leaving the two of you breathless and dozing off to sleep again for the second time.

Later in the day, you woke up and found the bed empty. You sat up, the blanket falling to your waist as you searched the room groggily. He was not there. You got yourself ready quickly and left the room, despite his warning yesterday not to.

Thankfully, you found Bucky before anyone else and he intercepted you.

“He’s fishing.”

“Fishing?” you asked disbelieving.

Bucky nodded, “He enjoys it. Plus, it helps feed the island.”

“Anything to keep his feet off the land,” you commented in a sigh, as your eyes were drawn out towards the water.

Bucky gave your shoulder a squeeze and said, “You’ll like it later when you get some bass to eat later, yeah? I’m sure he’ll bring one specifically for you.”

<><><>

You accepted Tony’s offer for a dinner on the beach. As Bucky predicted, Tony had brought a fish specifically back for you and he was roasting it over the firepit on the sand. He had brought a bottle with him, and you having recovered, you were indulging again. The fish was good and filled you up along with the vegetables he had used in the pan as well.

Sitting on the log, you stared into the fire. Tony passed you the bottle and you took a long swig.

“I believe I was promised earrings if I came to your cabin,” you commented lightly.

Tony laughed at that and said, “I know where they are.”

“Do you?”

“Yes, they’re locked away. I was saving them.”

“For?” you pressed, passing the bottle back to him.

He shrugged, “Like I told you. You had to come to my cabin to get them.”

“Well, I have done that. Were there strings attached that you did not inform me of? I still have the necklace on!” you asked, smiling. You showed him, pulling it out from your dress. You knew he had seen it. Of course he had. He had taken you in his bed with it twice now, the one thing you had not taken off to lay with him.

Tony shrugged again. “Stay. And I’ll give them to you on our wedding day.”

You laughed but then saw he was looking at you offended. Oh. He was serious.

Brushing the intensity of the moment off, you exhaled deeply, dramatically. “Well, when we see fit to settle down, I suppose I’ll get them.”

Tony said nothing and you hated the uncomfortable silence. You cleared your throat and scooted closer, getting his attention.

“We should go back. Back to my home. So… I can see.”

Tony was unconvinced from the mention of it. Shaking his head, he said, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“I can handle it. Whatever happened.”

“I don’t think it is wise.”

“It matters not what it wise. It’s what I want.”

Tony was adamant, “No.”

You scooted away from him, and he noticed that. His eyes followed your movement and saw your hands planted firmly as you glowered at him. Good. He could see how serious you were about this.

“So, you’re refusing to take me back?”

“You escaped there. You were held down there,” Tony argued. “You don’t… need to go back.”

You straightened up and asked, “’Escaped’? I liked it there!”

Tony was accusative now, aggressive. “Do you want to go back for him?”

“Who?”

“Adam.”

You stared him down, matching his fiery gaze.

“That’s what your afraid of? Competition?” Disgust washed across his features and you pressed on before he could interrupt. “No, Tony. It’s not for him.”

“Then what for?”

It was either the liquid courage or wanting to be honest, or possibly a combination of both, but you were honest. “Eloise.”

It felt good to proclaim she was worth something. Even to someone as jealous of your affection like him. With him, the impact would be different. You hoped. If you proclaimed your love for Eloise to him, it was safer than anyone else. And he understood desire. Hell, he had been trying for you for so long. To return to port just for one person, he had to understand that.

But immediately you saw it had been lost on him and now you were to be floundering until you explicitly explained it.

“You’re worried she got taken?” Tony asked, trying to understand. That only made it clear he was clueless about your unrequited love.

Tears stung your eyes, and you squeezed your hands between your thighs. The waves crashed, filling the space between before you inhaled sharply and said, “I mean, yes. That is a very big concern. She could have been harmed. Taken… raped.” You met his gaze, and he was waiting, like he sensed you needed to say more. And you did. You swallowed and whispered, “I loved her. So much. And I knew she was never going to love me back. But it was okay pretending.”

Tony looked like he had been slapped. And that is when you realized you had made a mistake in confessing this to him. He would not be understanding like you hoped he would have been. Why did you think that?

Still you tried to play it off, using emotion.

You shrugged in return, bringing a hand up to wipe at your eyes. “It was at home at port. We worked together. We were close… I dreaded the day some man would come steal her away.”

Still Tony said nothing, and you turned your eyes to him. He was staring at you with such intensity, frozen in the moment. But only for so long.

“So, she was the reason,” Tony finally said. You furrowed your brow at his tone. He took another swig of his rum. He suddenly gave a scornful laugh, shaking his head. “The whole time, I thought it was all those men chasing after you. That you liked playing games—” Your mouth fell open at that remark in shock. “—And keeping your options open. But you already had your heart set. On a woman, no less.”

You shifted and said desperately, “I did not think you would judge—"

Tony cut in swiftly, roughly. His tone could cut glass.

“And on someone who would never appease you or return the affection. You set yourself to doom. And for what? So, both of us could suffer?”

You realized he was making this about him and his feelings. And that ignited anger quickly. “Tony, that’s not fair!”

“I never stood a chance if you were already dead set on staying sorrowful forever.” He scoffed, standing up, your eyes following him. He stared down at you, stumbling a little in his movement as he threw an arm out. “Looks like we had both anchored ourselves to misery and unfortunately for me, it was unknowingly because you returned my flirtations constantly. Dragged me along.” He pointed at you and sneered, “You’re selfish!”

You stood up with him and you said forcibly, “I am not! Yes, I flirted back because I do like you! But do you think I wanted to hang my hat on someone who was notorious for sleeping around?” Tony gave you an incredulous look, but you pressed on. “And for someone who spent most of his time at sea? What? You just wanted me to wait around for you whenever you thought it appropriate to grace me with your presence?”

Tony stepped closer, a finger in your face. “If you would have given yourself to me, I would have brought you aboard or made home—”

You interrupted with a shrill laugh and his jaw set in offense. “You? Make home? Don’t make me laugh.”

“For you? Yes! I would have!”

“Will you now?” you asked, still lightly laughing.

Tony was serious when he said, “If you would only ask it.”

You shrugged sheepishly. “I will not.” He scoffed and began to turn away, but you raised your voice, catching his attention again. “Because as heartfelt as you feel right now – and it may be genuine – you would get bored. You’re married to the sea. You would never be married to me.” You gestured between the two of you. “You and I are meant for the bed and that’s it. There won’t be long term affection. At least on your end.”

“So, I’m the problem?” Tony snapped. You nodded and he bit his cheeks, turning away from you. He used his arm holding the bottle to wipe at his mouth, staring out at the ocean. You swayed on the spot, feeling the alcohol running through your veins. When he turned around again, he almost lost his footing in the sand and you moved to steady him, but he waved you off, stopping you in your tracks. “You never even gave me a chance to prove myself, Y/N! I’m so glad you’re such an expert on what you think you know about me when you never cared to even ask! I would kill you for! I did kill for you! Or have you forgotten that? Or do you just not care?”

He got even closer, and his breath was hot. “I would kill hundreds of men to keep you safe. Just to make sure you were there for me at the end of that bloody trail! And you’re so fucking ungrateful about it! I should just leave you here. Let you simmer on that! Be passed around between the pirates coming through! Cause you obviously don’t give a shit about who you open your legs to! Might as well get paid for it! And at least I’ll still know where to find you. I’ll have coin ready!” He leaned in close and hissed, “If you won’t have me fully, then I’ll just keep you at another port to visit just like before!”

You gasped, hurt, as he turned away from you. He left as quickly as he could, trudging through the sand until he found the rocks again.

“Drew me in and drowned me! Temptress! This whole damn time! And here I thought sirens were only on the sea!” he shouted over his shoulder.

All that was left was the sound of waves as you watched him go up the path.

~~~

Marvel tags: @coconutqueen21 @undecidedsworld @holl2712 @agustdowney  @biiskuitx @buttercupfangirl

[whitworth-waldo]

So I was bored and wanted to write a Loceit fanfic. It's angsty and a hurt/comfort. There's multiple ships, but no poly, and Patron is ace, Remus is aro, Deciet is pan, Virgil is bi, Roman and Logan are gay. I'll have another part soon.

Anyway, here's the fic:

“Lying is never good! I just don’t see how lying to someone can help anyone!”

Patton was being uncharacteristically rude, even if Deceit was labeled a dark side, Patton was usually at least pleasant. Currently, however, he wasn't even letting Deceit finish his sentences, and this was making Deceit have a shorter and shorter temper.

“Maybe, if you actually let me fin-”

“Are you going to sit there and be rude to Patton? Of all people, you’re gonna be an ass to the one light side who can actually stand you?!”

Deceit put his hand on his head and sighed, everyone in the room could feel the scolding anger flooding off of Deceit. It was as if he would burst any minute, Logan didn’t doubt it.

“Virgil, Patton, if you don’t let him finish, then I won’t be able to hear his opinion. That is very important, if I can hear both sides, then I’ll be able to come up with the best combination of the two.”

Patton stared and Logan.

“Logan! You can’t tell me you're thinking of listening to someone who’s literally called ‘Deceit’!”

Deceit scoffed.

“Oh? Like Virgil hadn’t hidden the fact that he was a dark side until... “

Deceit looked at Virgil.

“How long again? Oh yeah! A few days ago! So you can trust someone who lies about what they are, but not someone who isn’t comfortable sharing their name? Also! Name one time I haven’t suggested lying when it wasn’t in Thomas’ best interest. Go on! I’ll wait.”

Virgil rolled his eyes.

“We all know that nothing good comes from lying.”

Deceit smirked.

“Oh really? What about whe-”

“No! There’s never been a time lying has helped us!”

Deceit took a deep breath and sighed, because once again, Patton hadn’t let him finish.

“Patton,”

Deceit looked at him.

“I get that you’re trying to be a goody toe shoe and solve all of Thomas’ problems with the kindest solutions, but believe it or not, this world is corrupt. In this world, doing the ‘right’ thing isn’t always the best option. In this world, if you try to help everyone, people take that as a weakness. They’ll use you and won’t even think twice about it. You don’t seem to get that. So please, learn when you need to put aside this whole ‘I’m just here to help everyone! Violence isn’t ever the right answer!’ Act, okay? Okay.”

Virgil scowled.

“And you, Deceit, tend to forget that we create content for people, and those people would be crushed if we lied to them. Lying isn’t a fix-all solution! We would get caught, and then we would lose so much support. Wouldn’t it be in Thomas’ interest to make sure people like us and we aren’t just that creator that messed up and got tossed aside? Self-preservation, right?”

Deceit crossed his arms.

“Virgil, please don’t lecture me on not always being right. 98% of the things you somehow manage to convince Thomas turns out to be things that would only happen in a fever dream. Again I never say that we should lie about everything! Only things that wou-”

“No!”

Patton was shaking his head, he also looked to be on the brink of tears. When Virgil saw this, he ran over to Patton and hugged him.

“Deceit! Apologize.”

Deceit shook his head.

“No. I’m not apologizing for speaking my mind and confronting him with the truth.”

Logan had to side with Deceit on this. Logan had always thought that the other sides, while pleasant to hang out with, were overly biased. They often did things that hurt Thomas in the long run. While Deceit did make up the lies that lasted a short time and usually did more harm than good, it was usually because Virgil was pressuring him and neither Roman or Remus could come up with anything.

“As much as I hate seeing Patton distressed, I have to side with Deceit. While he could have worded it better, he was being honest. Brutally so, but still honest.”

Virgil stared daggers at Logan.

“Are you serious?!”

Virgil took a deep breath and called Roman’s name. Roman came running in as soon as he heard his boyfriend shout.

“Yes? Anything wrong?”

Roman would have added “My love” at the end of one, or both, of those sentences, but he saw Deceit, and knew Virgil's distaste for the snake.

“Logan, could you please explain why you’re siding with… with Deceit?”

Roman looked at Logan in bewilderment. 

“Just because you dislike him, doesn't mean all his pints or opinions are obsolete. He was honest, and he was right. Just because he’s Deceit, doesn’t mean all he does is lie. Just like you represent other things than just Anxiety, like fight or flight, Deceit represents other things than just dishonesty. He represents self-preservation, and Thomas’ will to live.”

Roman was looking to Deceit, then Logan, then Virgil, then repeating the cycle. He didn’t know who to side with. He wanted to side with his boyfriend, for obvious reasons, but he could also see Logan’s point.

“Oh! So you’re siding with the fucking Snake who called me basically useless?!”

Roman, upon hearing this, immediately rushed to Virgil and glared at Deceit and Logan.

“Deceit, leave. Now.”

Deceit rolled his eyes at Roman.

“Or what? You’re gonna get your sword? Oh no! I’m so scared!”

Deceit adopted a cowering position and used a mock scared voice. He knew he wasn’t making things better, but he also knew that no matter how hard he tried, the other sides wouldn't like him. He had given up trying to get them to like him long ago.

Virgil looked at Deceit.

“Ever wonder why I left the dark sides? You’re toxic. You and Remus both! You only criticize me and my ideas and fears. You guys never contribute anything good! If you weren’t a thing, Thomas would be in a much better situation! If you really want to help Thomas, as you claim, then maybe you should just stay out of everything!”

Deceit felt all emotion drain from his face. He did that whenever he got either really sad or angry. He hid it, he had learned early on that hiding emotion helps when lying. So he mastered it.

“Fine. You wouldn’t last a week without me.”

Deceit went to his room, even with it being on the opposite side of the house, everyone could hear the door slam.

“What was that about?”

Remus had just walked in. He saw Patton sniffling and trying to wipe his tears, he saw Logan standing opposite of Roman and Virgil, and he saw the couple standing in a defensive position.

“Nevermind.”

Remus walked out of the room backward.

“I can't believe you would side with him!”

Roman nodded.

“What is wrong with you?!”

Logan looked offended.

“What's wrong with me? What’s wrong with you?! You literally just told him he was worthless and he couldn’t fulfill his entire purpose for existence!”

Patton took a shaky breath.

“Do you r-really think that lying can be good?”

Logan looked at all three of the sides before answering a question with the most confidence he’s ever had in an answer.

“Absolutely.”

[maddrmatt]

Kairi’s Epic Journey: The Quest for Sora

New to this fanfic? Click here to properly begin!

Chapter 14: For When She Returns

Never Land

A short while later, Kairi, Peter and the rest of their group had returned to the hideout.  Currently, Kairi was sitting down with Pluto’s head in her lap and Hook’s hat still on her head.  Peter sat in mid-air nearby with Tink on his shoulder.  They were watching the Lost Boys run around the hideout as they talked about and re-enacted their favorite parts of the battle.

“Did you see the look on Hook’s face when Kairi knocked his sword out of his hand?” asked Nibs as he knocked a wooden sword out of Slightly’s hand with one of his own

“That’s nothing! The look after she smashed him into the mast was so funny!” laughed Cubby as he made a close approximation of the goofy look Hook had worn.

The Twins dragged Toodles across the floor by his hand while the youngest Lost Boy pretended to scream with no sound.  Clearly, he thought the sound of Hook’s screaming as he was dragged through the air by Kairi and Peter was the most memorable thing.

“She really gave Hook what he had comin’ to him!” said Slightly.

“And it was so much fun when we all sent Hook overboard together!” exclaimed the Twins.

As she listened to the boys, Kairi chuckled to herself.  ‘I can’t believe how much energy these boys have even after that battle. I’m getting tired just watching them.’

Peter laughed. “Well, they’re certainly going to be talking about this for awhile.  You know, Kairi, before you showed up, it was getting pretty boring around Never Land. But you coming here sure led to some much-needed excitement for us.  I can’t remember the last time we had this much fun fighting Hook and the pirates. It is going to be hard to top it the next time though.  But we’ll surely try.”

Kairi shook her head amusedly.  ‘I can’t believe he’s actually looking forward to the next fight.  But I guess that’s just how it is for these boys. Oh!  I almost forgot.’

“Peter?  Thank you for coming to save me when the pirates got me.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it.  You didn’t think I was going to leave you in Hook’s clutches like that, were you?” asked Peter.

Kairi hung her head.  “Actually, after how I yelled at all of you earlier, I wasn’t actually expecting you to come.”

“Oh, come on, Kairi.  Don’t you even think that.  We would’ve come for you no matter what,” said Peter as Tink nodded in agreement.

After hearing those words, Kairi reflected on how her initial viewpoint of Peter had changed since the battle.  While it was true that he could be pretty immature and thoughtless at times, he was also brave and very loyal to the people he cared about.

‘Funny.  Now that I’m seeing Peter’s better qualities, he kind of reminds me of Sora.  They do have a lot in common.  Even the immature moments.’

“Still, I shouldn’t have been that hard on all of you for playing around with my Wayfinder.  You didn’t know how important it was.  Normally, I don’t get that angry with other people if all they’re guilty of is not knowing something.  But ever since losing Sora and fighting with my other friends, I just haven’t felt like myself.  Still, that’s no excuse for how I acted and for that, I am sorry,” said Kairi sadly.

“Well, we may have gone a little too far ourselves.  If we knew how you needed it to find Sora, we never would have messed around with it. Right Tink?” asked Peter causing the fairy to nod guiltily for starting the keepaway game with the Wayfinder.

“But you were wrong about one thing, Kairi.”

Kairi looked puzzled. “I was?  About what?”

“About me not knowing what it’s like to miss someone.  Because as it turns out, there is someone I miss very much,” said Peter.

“Who?” inquired Kairi.

“Wendy,” said Peter with a little sadness in his voice.

“Oh,” said Kairi recalling Peter’s friend who lived outside of Never Land.  “How long has it been since you last saw her?”

“Well, the last time I saw her was after I rescued her from Hook along with Sora, Donald and Goofy.”

“That was over a year ago.  And you haven’t been to see her since?  Don’t you know where to find her?”

“Of course, I do. I could never forget where to find her. Her home in London was very special to me because she and her brothers believed in me.  I would always visit there because I loved to listen to her stories about me and then I would come back here and tell them again to the boys,” said Peter happily.

Then he became a little serious.  “Then one night, I learned Wendy was going to grow up and leave her nursery.  That would mean no more stories and I couldn’t let that happen.  So, I brought her and her brothers here where she could be our mother and tell us stories all the time.”

‘I bet she didn’t know what she was getting into,’ thought Kairi.  “So, what happened?”

“She was excited at first.  But for some reason, after only one day here, she decided she wanted to leave and grow up after all.  I never understood why,” said Peter.

‘If her experiences in Never Land were anything like my own, I can’t say that I blame her,’ thought Kairi.

“Even though I didn’t like it, I did end up bringing her and her brothers home after saving them from Hook,” said Peter.

“You did a good thing respecting her wishes like that, Peter.  But that still doesn’t explain why you haven’t gone back to see her.  I’m sure she would love to see you again so why not?” asked Kairi.

“I don’t know.  I guess I’m just afraid to,” said Peter looking away from the princess.

Kairi was shocked. “The great Peter Pan is actually afraid of something?”

“Hard to believe, huh?  You see, Kairi, I’m afraid that if I ever did go back there, she wouldn’t be the same.  She’ll probably have grown up and forgotten all about me and Never Land forever,” said Peter.

Kairi gave Peter a gentle smile. “That could never happen, Peter.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I know for a fact that growing up doesn’t always mean forgetting who and what was important to you when you were young.  Take me for example.  The most treasured memories I have are of my childhood days that I spent on the islands with my friends.  And I’ll always carry those memories forever because they’ll always be there to carry me through the harder times that come with growing up.  I imagine that Wendy will always look back and remember her times with you the same way as she grows up.  In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if when she has children of her own, she’ll be telling your stories to them and they’ll do the same for their own.  In that way, you’ll always be a part of her life no matter what,” said Kairi.  

‘Almost like a paopu fruit bond,’ Kairi added to herself.

Peter reflected for a moment on Kairi’s words.  He then recalled what Wendy had called out to him as he sailed away into the night after he brought her home.

‘I’ll always believe in you, Peter Pan!’

‘Maybe she really will,’ he thought as a smile came to his face.

He then turned back to Kairi. “Heh.  When you put it that way, maybe growing up isn’t so bad after all.”

“Think you’d want to give it a try?” asked Kairi in a tone that indicated she wasn’t asking it seriously.

Going along with the joke, Peter pretended to think.  “Mmmm. Nah.  It may be for you and for Wendy and everyone else.  But this is the life the boys and I chose and it’s what we will always want.”

“I thought as much,” said Kairi with a laugh.  “But trust me when I say that Wendy would never forget you.  I mean, who could?”

“I am pretty memorable, aren’t I?” Peter said in his usual smug tone causing Kairi to shake her head in amusement.

“Thanks, Kairi. You know what?  Maybe I will go see her.  Maybe we all will because I know the boys miss her too.  Even Tink does, although she won’t admit it,” said Peter.

Kairi and Peter looked at Tink who turned away from them.  Unbeknownst to them, she was hiding a small look of excitement at the prospect of seeing their old friend.

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned, Peter, it’s that you should try to have as much time with the people most important to you,” said Kairi before she hung her head down again.

‘Because you never know when you won’t be able to.’

Tink floated over to Kairi’s face, put her hands under her chin and gently lifted her head up. Kairi’s eyes gazed at Tink and Peter who were smiling at her.

“You’re going to find him, Kairi.  We know you are,” said Peter.

“You sound so sure.”

“I am.  Because when I first met Sora, he was so happy that he had finally found you.  Sounded to me like he had been looking for you for quite some time.  So, I’m sure you’ll be able to do the same.  I believe that no matter what, you two will always find each other,” said Peter.

Tink made a tinkling sound indicating she believed it as well.  At the same time, Pluto gave a bark showing he too concurred.  This brought a smile to Kairi’s face.

Suddenly, a bright glow illuminated the hideout.  Everyone’s eyes, including the Lost Boys’ gazed around for the source.  Finally, they find out.

The glow was coming from the Wayfinder. It glowed for about a minute before it stopped.

“What was that about, Kairi?” asked Slightly.

“Yeah.  Why did the thing on your neck lighted up like that?” asked Cubby.

Kairi held the Wayfinder in her hand.  She knew what the glow meant, and she had been wondering when it would.  But she was now confused on why it had happened now.

‘The woman in my dream said that when it glowed, then it would be time to move onto the next world of my journey.  But what did I do to make it glow?’

Putting aside her ponderings, Kairi answered the boys’ questions, “It means it’s time for Pluto and me to go.”

At the end of Kairi’s words, the Lost Boys’ faces fell.  They now looked like they were on the verge of crying.

“You’re leaving?” asked Cubby.

“But we were just starting to have fun together,” said Slightly.

Toodles wrapped his arms around Kairi’s waist.  His face wore a look of pleading as he silently begged her not to go.

Kairi gave the youngest Lost Boy a pat on the head.  “I’m sorry, boys.  As much as I’d love to stay and have fun with all of you, I can’t right now.  It’s time for me to move onto wherever I have to be next on my journey to find Sora.  You understand, don’t you?”

Unfortunately, Kairi’s words didn’t improve the boys’ moods.  They still looked like they would break down in tears at any minute.

“Come on, men!  What do I always say?  Never let’em see you cry,” said Peter.

At the end of Peter’s words, the Lost Boys scampered away to other areas of the hideout.  Once they were completely out of sight of Kairi and Peter, they immediately started bawling.

Kairi, amused as she was at the literal interpretation of Peter’s saying, reached out sympathetically. “Come on, boys.  I may be saying goodbye now.  But it’s a not a forever goodbye.  I plan to come back.”

The boys came back into view.  But they didn’t look very reassured.

“Couldn’t we come with you?” asked Nibs.

“We’re great at finding things. You saw how we finded the treasure,” said Cubby.

“Yeah.  With all of us, we could find your friend in no time,” said Slightly.

“I’m sorry, boys.  Not that I wouldn’t mind your company, but this journey I’m on could be too dangerous for all of you.  You’re better off staying here where you’ll be safe.”

As she saw the disappointed looks on the boys’ faces, Kairi couldn’t help but reflect on how she had been in a similar position.  ‘This is just like when I wanted to go back with Sora to Hollow Bastion after we escaped.  I may not have liked it at the time.  But looking back now, I probably would have just been in the way even if I knew I could wield a Keyblade then.’

“This is really for the best, boys. I do wish there was a way to bring you all along,” said Kairi.

Then, to everyone’s surprise, a ball of golden light formed in front of Kairi.  Everyone shielded their eyes until the light died down.  

When they uncovered them, they saw a strange card hovering in the air in front of the Princess of Heart.  With caution, Kairi reached out and grabbed it out of the air.

The moment she took the card in her hand, an odd feeling came over her.  She felt like the card contained some kind of magical power.

Kairi took in the card’s details. It was shaped like a heart with a three-pronged crown on the top of it.  It had a golden border surrounding a picture of what appeared to be Never Land, as seen from a Gummi Ship.

Then Kairi heard Tink tinkling something.  She looked at the fairy and saw that she was pointing to the back of the card.  Kairi turned it over and gasped.

On the other side of the card was a picture of Peter, Tink and the Lost Boys.  The picture was very unusual because all the people within it were moving like a video.  They were all smiling and waving as if they could see her.

‘Where did this card come from? Did the Wayfinder create it?  And if so, what’s it for?” wondered Kairi.

“Where did that come from, Kairi?” asked Peter echoing Kairi’s thoughts and snapping her out of them.

“I wish I knew.  I can’t explain but it feels like this card has some kind of power though I don’t know what exactly.  It looks like my journey has another mystery for me to solve,” she responded before smiling.  “But if anything, I’ll be able to look at this card, which I think I’ll call a Memento Card from now on, and always remember the first group of new friends I made on my journey.  So, I guess, in a way, I will be taking you all with me.”

“But you’re still coming back, right?” asked the Twins.

Kairi stowed the Memento Card away in her pocket and said, “Of course, I am.  And when I come back, I’ll have Sora with me.  You’ll all finally get to meet him.  Also, I’m sure we’ll have plenty of incredible stories to share with all of you. Would you like that?”

Excited smiles slowly appeared on the Lost Boys’ faces.  Clearly, the idea of new stories was enough to raise their spirits.

“Now how about a goodbye hug?” asked Kairi as she knelt down and opened up her arms.

The Lost Boys immediately rushed up to her.  Once they reached her, they surrounded her in a giant group hug.

After embracing for a few minutes, Kairi broke away from the Lost Boys.  She then reached up and took Hook’s hat off of her head and handed it to Slightly causing all of the Lost Boys to look puzzled.

“Why are you giving us this, Kairi?” asked Slightly.

“Yeah, we’d thought you’d want to keep it, so you’ll always remember the time you beat Hook,” said Nibs.

“I knew that, boys.  It is indeed a reminder of something I’d like to keep remembering.  So, that’s why I’m trusting you all to keep this in a special place.  Maybe in your treasure chest?” she asked causing the boys’ grins to return.

“That’s a great idea!” exclaimed the Twins.

“Now we’ll always remember the fun time we had together!” exclaimed Cubby.

“Thanks, Kairi!” exclaimed all the Lost Boys.

“You’re welcome.  I’m really going to miss all of you.”

Then she felt something around her waist.  She looked down and saw that Toodles was giving her one more hug as well s his usual sweet smile.

Kairi chuckled.  “Especially you, Toodles.”

Then, as Toodles released her waist, Kairi heard a tinkling.  She turned in the direction and saw Tink hovering in front of her.

“I know you’re not too fond of having other girls around, Tink.  But I’m glad that didn’t stop you from getting help for me or coming to my aid during the duel.  I’ll never forget that.  Thank you,” said Kairi.

In response, the fairy flew up to Kairi’s face and nuzzled her nose with her own.  Kairi giggled in response.

“Kairi?” asked Peter causing her to turn to him.

“I just thought of something. Before you go, would you like to try flying again?  Maybe the happy thought of winning against Hook will be the one that’ll finally keep you up,” said Peter.

Kairi considered Peter’s offer. It was true that her first real victory against a major villain had brought happiness to her.  If she tried to fly again, there may have been a chance that she would succeed.

Still, there was something that was keeping her from accepting.

“Peter, it would be great to try to fly again and maybe it would work now.  But I think I’ll save it for when I come back.  It’s like you told me: Sora wanted to take me flying when we came here together.  So, if you don’t mind, I think I’ll put off trying to fly again when I came back with him. Then I’ll know for sure it’ll work,” said Kairi.

“Well, okay then.  I just wish I could give you more help because I’m sure it’s what Sora would want me to do.”

“You’ve already done plenty for me, Peter.  I’m very grateful and I’m sure Sora would be too for helping me out during my visit here,” said Kairi as she moved in to give Peter a hug.

But before she could wrap her arms around him, she felt something tugging at the hood of her outfit and holding her back.  She turned her head and saw Tink was the one responsible.

“Really, Tink?” asked Kairi with an amused smile causing Tink to return it with one of her own before saying something in her tinkling sound.

“What did she say?” asked Kairi.

Peter chuckled and said, “She said, ‘Alright.  Just this once.’”

Tink released Kairi and allowed her to hug Peter.  After a few moments, they parted with smiles on their faces.

“Kairi, I think I speak for all of us when I say we look forward to your return.  We can’t wait to hear all your stories especially the one about you finding Sora.  I know it’s going to be a good one.”

“And when Sora and I come back here, I hope you’ll tell us a few stories yourself.  Like about the other Keyblade Wielders you’ve met: Terra, Ventus and Aqua,” said Kairi.

“Oh!  You know them?” asked a surprised Peter causing Kairi to nod. “Well, how about that?  Its been so long since they came to Never Land. In fact, I hadn’t thought about them until after I met Sora and saw he had one of those Keyblades like they did.”

Then Tink chimed in.  She tinkled a great many things causing Peter to look surprised.

“What?!  Tink, you met another person with a Keyblade and didn’t tell me?” he exclaimed.

The surprise spread to Kairi. “She did?!”

“Yes.  According to Tink, he actually looked like Ven.  But the strange thing was that it actually felt like being around Sora.  And even more strange, he was dressed in a black coat like those bad guys who captured you.  But Tink says he didn’t seem like a bad guy like they were.  Same with his friend: a guy with wild spiky red hair,” said Peter.

Kairi’s surprise increased. “Roxas and Axel were here too?!”

“You know them too?”

“Yes.  Wow.  I can’t believe that how many other Keyblade Wielders have come to Never Land but also that I know them all,” said Kairi.

“Well, Tink and I will be glad to tell you and Sora everything about them when you get back, Kairi. Especially the other two which I had no idea until now,” said Peter shooting an annoyed look at the fairy causing her to sheepishly grin.

“I look forward to it, Peter.  Now I think it’s time I got going.  Come on, Pluto,” said Kairi as she walked toward the exit of the hideout with her canine companion trailing behind her.

Before they began to ascend the staircase to the outside, she turned around and said, “Bye, everyone!  Until we meet again!”

“Goodbye, Kairi!” exclaimed Peter and the Lost Boys with Tink tinkling her goodbyes.

As the girl and the dog climbed up the stairs to the outside, they could still here the various shouts and calls. They were all wishes of good luck and hope for her return.

Then she heard Peter’s voice call out, “Kairi, don’t forget: if you ever to need to find your way back to us, just head for the second star to the right and straight on ‘til morning!”

‘I will, Peter.  And I will be back.  With Sora.’

“Oh!  And when you see the other Keyblade Wielders Tink and I have met, tell them we said hi!”

“I will!” she called back although, despite her curiosity about the others’ adventures in Never Land, the thought of the last time they were together still stoked an angry feeling in her.

‘At least, I will once they admit they were wrong in wanting to give up on Sora.’

But Kairi couldn’t dwell on that. Right now, all she wanted to do was find a spot in Never Land to write a letter to Sora.  After that, then it truly would be time for her to move onto her next destination.

________________________________________________________________

Onto the next chapter!

[cutegirlmayra]

Hey there Cutegirlmayra, I was wondering if you would like to do this fanfic. In Sonic Unleashed, Sonic and Amy are married with kids ( they are now adults in this fic ) before Sonic goes to stop Dr. Eggman, his kids were cheering him on and say "Your our hero, Dad!!! You never fail to save the day!!" then Sonic's reply with a wink, "I'll come back home before you know it!!!"... But he failed and changed form, "What will my kids think of me now?"

I would love to do this fanfiction, thank you for the opportunity!

PROMPTS ARE ON SHUTDOWN! Do not submit any prompts! the grand reopening has yet to be announced, please wait patiently until then, my faithful Cuties!

Prompt:

“Take him down, Dad!”

“Left kick, then hit him with the right!”

“Woooahhhh, so cool!”

The three triplet boys all climbed and weighed on their Mother, who patiently, but clearly feeling uncomfortable seemed to enjoy the boys enthusiasm over their father’s victory on the television.

“Blast that-!”

“HEDGEHOG!” the three children mimicked, laughing and mocking Eggman as the youngest two slid down the couch and landed beside Amy, giggling as she ticked them in their excitement.

What a joyful family moment.

Her oldest was laid on her head, pushing himself up constantly by having his hand slack down and then smush her face with his continual attempts to remain on top.

“Alright, boys. That’s enough t.v for one day.” She picked the boy up off of her head and placed him on her lap, smiling, “Your dad still is pretty cool, isn’t he?”

“Yeah!” the three boys exclaimed before looking over her shoulder and gasping. “Daddy’s home!!!”

“Hey! Did you see the news?” Sonic, who had zipped in like a gust of wind from the window, made his triumphant entrance known as his hands held to his hips.

Hanging from his arms, grocery bags.

But not for long.

“Daddy!!!” The kids all clambered over the other to get a better view of him behind the couch, “Kisses, daddy, kisses!”

Sonic moved over to Amy and gave her an affection head bump on her forehead before rubbing the kids’s head.

“Kisses?” He scoffed, “Since when?”

The kids all giggled and quickly scrambled over to the other side of the couch, but he ran quickly to the side they were once on, and they all piled over the other to get to him first.

“Kisses, Daddy, kisses!!!”

Amy gave Sonic a sly look with a smirk, as though he wasn’t going to get out of this one, especially since it was the kids asking.

Sonic faked a long sigh, bending his knees and leaning back a bit to over-exaggerate as the kids all laughed at his antics.

“Fine.” he pretended to ‘ignite’ his lips like you would a car engine, then fully got it in throttle and began zipping around, threatening to overwhelm them with kisses as they all hurried away in a game of chase.

He didn’t pursue though, after giving them each one kiss he came back to the couch, “You better hide! Cause you can’t run!”

The giggles gave them away but Amy just got up from the couch and readjusted her clothes that were stretched from all the kids climbing over her.

“I haven’t seen that engine revved up in a long time.” She teased, looking a little pitiful but failing to keep up the appearance.

She blushed and smiled when he pivoted his form to her and took a macho step forward before swaggering closer over to her.

“A while? I’d say you were the one that got it started.” he gave her a look she knew too well at this point but taunted him by flinging her face to the side and tilting her body, just giving him her cheek.

“Ah! The rejection!” he dramatically held his chest as though his heart was breaking. “Such a cruel wife.”

“Such a monster of a husband!” she grabbed the tuff of quills that were positioned on the top of his head, forcing him to stay put. “You left to fight Eggman without so much as eating a bite of dinner!”

“I took a nibble,” he argued, trying to submit a little more to her brute strength and not fight her on this one. He knew by now, too, that this was her way of showing affection. “And I’m about to take a bite! Rawr!” he had feigned submission!

“Ah! Sonic! Ahh! No, wait, what if the kids-Eeee~!” In a loving tussle, Sonic got the upper hand. It’s clear the relationship with the family was strong, but then there was a sudden alarm that came from the still playing television.

The kids all peeked their heads out, one at a time, trying to spy on their mother and father before seeing them still slightly holding one another while their full attentions were on the news.

“Dark Gaia? That can’t be. He shouldn’t be awakened, not for a couple of thousand or so years, a millennia even, right? Oh, I forget after this long.” Amy tried to remember, lightly hitting her head before looking worriedly up at Sonic.

“Last time… you became-”

“Not again,” Sonic’s eyes glared forward. “I won’t turn into that thing again.”

Amy saw the hatred in Sonic’s eyes… she knew he lost a friend that day, but also couldn’t fight well enough to protect him. Light Gaia… Or chip, as Sonic knew him… used his own power to stop Dark Gaia.

“Wouldn’t that mean Chip’s back too?”

Sonic knew she was reaching for hope, it was one of her many great qualities, but that didn’t seem likely.

He didn’t want to worry her either…

In typical Sonic style, he remained silent a moment, in serious contemplation, before turning back to her and smiling warmly with an air of comfort about him.

He placed his hands lightly to her arms, “It’ll be okay.” He assured her, “You keep the kids safe, I’ll deal with Eggman.” he lightly kissed her and sped off.

“Your our hero, Dad!!!” A child ran out the door after him, but clearly couldn’t keep up just yet. “You never fail to save the day!!” Another child exclaimed, having been scooped up by Amy who held him on her side in her arms.

She looked out with that same loving worry on her face.

With an infamous cocky attitude, Sonic’s reply was nothing that wasn’t expected. “I’ll come back home before you know it!!!” He winked, hearing his children cheer him on in glee.

3 months later…

Huffing like a train that had just breaked at the right moment, Sonic’s werehog form fell to its knees and watched as Dark Gaia slowly fell back into the earth…

“Gotta find… gah… Chip.” He moved his hands out in front of him and struggled to push up from the edge of the broken world.

Tails had found evidence that Chip was still asleep, without him, he couldn’t put Dark Gaia to rest again… he needed his old friend, but this time, for more than just the world.

“How’s my family, Tails?” Sonic put a hand to his ear, a small device inside of it. ���Tails? What’s the reading on Chip? Have you located him? Is he close to waking up? Tails? Tails?! Answer me!”

When nothing came back, he slowly lowered his hand… but the worst-case scenario zapped into his mind like a raging bullet, and he quickly drew it up again, “Tails! Please! Is Amy and the kids okay!?”

No response…

He groaned, walking back before pacing back to the cliff, “I can’t show up to the house looking like… like this!” he looked over his claws, his large stature. “Ugh!” he swiped his head back, “But I have to know if they’re safe…” He kept walking but stopped again. “No… I should trust Amy! She can handle it.” He paced back to the edge, looking down at Dark Gaia regaining consciousness, roaring a piercing cry, and slithering down into the earth’s core again.

“He’ll be back… I’ve only agitated him.” Sonic thought out loud, moving back away from the edge. “I can’t find Chip without Tails giving me a location. And in order to find Tails… Home is on the way…” he made a fist with one of his hands, fighting his own pride on the matter.

“I’ll just take a peek. I’m not as fast as I once was in my day form, but this is all it takes… one second to see them all safe and sound. One moment to know I did good, that everything’s alright still… Eggman… If you did anything to my family… you can do whatever you want to me! But when you jeopardize the world and people that I love-!” he almost looked angry, turning his fangs to the sky as he gritted his teeth, feeling like he was making a vow to the universe or something now… “I won’t forgive you so easily.” he narrowed his sights… and ran on all fours, stretching his arm out to swing all the way int the direction of home.

Upon arriving, he was surprised. The lights were on and music was playing.

Amy’s typical ‘good motherly instincts’ telling her to keep everything lively and happy while Sonic was away, not wanting to distress the kids too much…

He smiled, “Good on ya, Amy…” Though he knew her reasoning,… the warm atmosphere of home drew him to crawl closer to the window, going for a peek.

When he did, he saw Amy dancing with one of the boys, the other two were keeping the rhythm going. One was clapping while the other insisted on hitting pots and pans like a drummer, wanting to be in a band.

Sonic’s heart softened from it’s raging thumping to one of a still beat, glad to see his worries were for nothing.

“What am I doing? This is too risky. They’re safe. That’s all I needed to know so…”

He kept staring in on the happy home, wishing he was apart of it too.

“Why do I feel this isn’t enough?”

“Daddy?”

He blinked his eyes and looked down.

“GAH!” he quickly stood up, flinching back in surprise at seeing his kid.

“AHHH!!! THE MONSTER!” the boy screamed and drew down the curtain, while Sonic’s balance was put off, his eyebrows also bent in hurt.

“M…Monster? Wa-ah!” he fell on his back. “Ouch.” he rubbed his head and tried to get up, but in the middle of the night, Amy with her powerful Piko Piko Hammer stepped outside to look around in the bushes.

“A-Amy! Wait!” PIKO!

As Sonic awoke the next day, the kids were amazed the monster was actually their father.

Embarrassed, Sonic dashed off to find Tails.

However… that night…

“It’s alright, It’s daddy.” Amy coaxed her oldest towards Sonic.

“H-how did you know I was..?” Sonic, backing away, looked to Amy but saw out of the corner of his eye–Professor Pickle nodding to him. “But… why?!” He glared slightly, “Amy, this isn’t-!”

He stomped his foot down, something that should have been light in his old appearance, just as yesterday’s surprise fall should have made the kids roll on the ground with laughter.

But instead… this spooked his oldest, who went running back behind his mother.

“N-no… Kid, I’m sorry…” he outreached his hand to him, but pulled it back. He pressed his eyes shut and turned away from them, “Get out of here… all of you.” he tightened his fist, but then loosened them in defeat. “Your dad has to save the world, keep you all safe… just forget you ever saw this… this monster and get going. Listen to your mother and head straight home.”

With that growling voice, the children were still hesitant. But the oldest heard something in that voice differently. It stood out to him, when his father used to tell him stories and the hero’s fall would be followed by a swift revival of righteous virtues that would put an end to injustice.

He slowly approached the monster’s back… then, tilting his head, he sniffed as his nose bounced around.

His eyes brightened a moment, and he held his arms up to his father, “Daddy..!”

As he stumbled forward, he called again, seeing Sonic’s eyes turn back to him, amazed by his son’s courage to see past the frightful appearance, especially for a child.

“Daddy! Daddy, up!” he groped the air as a child his age would, bouncing up and down excitedly.

Sonic’s shoulders slumped and his heart melted yet again to the sound of his children wanting his attention.

“Alright… one up, then you have to go home.” He gave in, hoisting his son up.

The child laughed, but as he was being pulled back down, he gripped Sonic’s hair and began to poke around in it. “Daddy got hairy.”

“Daddy has to shave?” The middlest child stuck his head out from behind his mother. “Daddy grew a beard?”

“All over his body!!!” the youngest overly pointed out and laughed, running over to his father, “Daddy, daddy, you’re a beard monster!”

“Daddy’s not a monster!” The oldest snapped back, “He’s just gotta get a haircut…” He continued to fiddle with his father’s hair.

“I like it! He’s fluffy now! Up, daddy!” The youngest jumped to his arm, feeling the new size and texture of it before jumping as though on a ride, waiting for the coin to slide in Sonic’s heart and help him jump start the small entertainment.

“Me too, up daddy! I want up too!” The middlest ran over and at this point, Sonic was too choked up to say anything.

“Daddy!” “Dada!” “Daddy’s crying!”

“I am not!” Sonic lifted his arm up, the one where his youngest was, who ‘weee!’d at the movement as Sonic draped his arm over his eyes, leaning his head back. “Daddy’s just happy.” he sniffed, “To have amazing and empathic kids like you.”

“We’re empty?”

“No, honey.” Amy giggled, also emotional as her hands covered her smiling mouth. “The complete opposite.” she was tearing up too.

The acceptance of his children, playing with them in this new form and really making the game ‘monster chasing us’ a new thrill, Sonic learned that it wasn’t just his friends who chose to see him differently…

His children would always love their affectionate, and heroic, father. Regardless what he looked like, they would always accept him as the greatest hero in their lives.

BONUS:

“Are these your kids?”

The kids all dog-piled Chip who was hovering in the air.

“Woah, hey! No biting! Easy on the tail!” he was kicking his legs out everywhere as the kids all loved on him.

When he finally got away, he pulled out some chocolate, “I LOOOOOOVEEE them! Hey, who wants chocolate? Who wants chocolate~? Anyone? Oh you do~ and you, and you~ Hey, give me that chocolate bar back! I want some too! Heeeyyy~” He flew after them as they laughed and played keep-away.