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selfcareparker · 4 years

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okay fghsgdj yes you can say girl ! my pronouns are she/her :) okay but fr pause, i read this like 3 minutes after you posted it (or at least my notif said 3mins lmao) bUT IM IN BED AND I USUALLY HAVE MY COMPUTER OPEN WITH YOUR RESPONSE SO I MAKE SURE I ADDRESS EVERYTHING AND THEN SEND IN THE ASK ON MY PHONE HDGSJSH anyway, time to get my ass up 😔 but wait i find you so funny like honestly, reading that cracked me all the way up. and i feel the “lol” thing so hard!!!! idk why i do it all the time (i’m tryna stop) but i’ll say something with lol at the beginning and lol at the end... it might be a defense mechanism at this point lol (😔) AND (i need to stop with the uppercase too it’s not funny anymore) I DONT KNOW WHY I LAUGHED SO HARD JDHSK WHEN YOU SAID ALSO AGAIN HAHAHAH LIKE UR HAHHAH also my sleep schedule is not pretty either lmao but i’m homeschooled so i never have to get up for anything? hhdhsis idk but i’m glad you slept!! you need sleep!!

also (pls no i cannot) why did i not know what ykwim meant until i reread this?? like it makes so much sense- anyway! i think it’s so cool that you’re excited for university! idk why but i do lol like you’re getting ready for the future (masters degree and all that) & you’re (maybe) going to england anyway so that’s cool haha (hopefully when you go you can see your relatives 🤞🏾)

the fact that you get happy seeing my asks i- 💓💓

you make me wanna go to London & England so bad urghhhh like i’ve only been out of the country once (to Canada for a family reunion) but it sounds so prettyyyyy & i’m so sorry that cov*d is messing everything up and i hope you can see your relatives soon :(

now to address the whole english speaking/writing: I FIND THAT SO WEIRD DUHSKSJ i don’t know how an english speaking person could say that if you don’t write it 100% grammatically correct.... that it’s wrong? when literally, over here at least, WE’RE SO GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT HAHHAAH in both the way we talk and write!! and lol you’re welcome,, AND THE PARAGRAPH DID MAKE SENSE HDHSJSH & your rant is fine because... that is actually a bit ??? bc no one writes with 100% grammar lol

OH MY GOSH (see this uppercase thing is addictive) YOU STUDIED LATIN FOR 6 YEARS??? that’s really cool 🥺 the way that you know/speak 3+ languages i- NOT EVEN 3+ LIKE 6+ (german, english, latin, french, serbian, italian, and everything that comes with latin lmao) even if it’s just a tiny bit like wowee. it is really fascinating!!! i had the opportunity to take latin and i... didnt. i took art instead BUT ONLY CUZ MY FRIENDS WERE IN THAT CLASS AND ART LOOKED FUN IM SORRY

PLEASE WHY DO YOU KNOW EVERYONE?? that sounds so fricking cool tell your mom (mum or mama it’s really fine lol) that she sounds awesome. i think Jamaica would be fun either way!! i mean it looks pretty from pictures? i was a baby so i honestly have no recollection hahaha

LMAOO NOT U SAYING THIS IS LONGER THAN SOME OF MY FICS- PLEASE GIRL IM TELLING YOU I VERBALLY LAUGHED HAHAHAHAHAH but yea you really don’t need to apologize i like reading everything you say 🥺 HDKSHS AND UR FINE WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT ME BEFORE uhhh hmm uhh lemme think i, well, i saw chaos walking yesterday (big tom holland fan over here) and it was alright.. my mom acted a fool at all the jump scares LMAO but it was funny... since i’m talking about movies (this is hella random i know) but i like shark movies HDKJSSJ my favorite is the meg (it’s so good ohmigosh) and the 47 meters down movies aren’t bad either... i have two younger brothers... iiiii AM IN LOVE WITH MUSIC PHEW anddd i’m homeschooled (i think i mentioned that lol) i think that’s a good amount ahahaha AND IM HUNGRY RN JDHSJ

now. please. let me address the edit. i just want you to know that.. when i talk about your fics and i finish them and everything i’m not looking for more? like obviously if you’re writing i’m gonna read it but you don’t need to feel pressured or anything (idk if you do) to put more fics out lol like they’re great and i’m just sending the praise bc i love the ones that are there :’) but i’m so happy you’re working through your writers block!!! yay so so happy for you!!! and PUHLEASE anything you write is fantastic, i feel the exact same way when i write but girl. you’re fine. it’s gonna be great. (idk if this made any sense but... okay)

(and my cousin calls her mom mama so it’s really okay hahah i even call my mom mama sometimes) (and where you got the number “16 sentences” beats me but i still cracked up) (is this me pretending i had tags? maybe) HAHAHAHA OK BYE ❤️❤️ why did this take me so long to send i have no clue, AND WHY AM I OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING I SAID SHAJSHSJ ANYWAY BYE btw i love us too... like iconic // lovely anon 💓

me reading this:

also the dedication you put into sending me stuff— like with the laptop and phone and ahsksk 🥺🥺🥺

i’ll update you when i’ve started uni btw, i’m getting more and more excited every single day haha but i still have 3 weeks until it starts and even then I’ll obviously have to get used to it and everything, but you’re making me even more excited about it sksjshsg

yeah i wanna go to england too dkshsh let’s be sad together over the fact the we can’t travel eksjsh😔😭 but hopefully the wait will make it even better in the end <33 also i talk to loads of relatives over the phone at least once a week so it’s not too bad for me! but i miss their house 😭lmao

and i knowww snshsh so many native english speakers just make so many mistakes— and obviously i get that some things are slang but some things are simply wrong ajsh, the thing is no one has ever told me that my english is bad (i know it’s not bad anyway, but i’m still insecure) or no one has ever pointed out any mistakes, but yeah it’s mostly just insecurity dkshsg but yes thanks for saying what you said (previously as well as in this ask)😌🥰

Okay now for latin— girlll i don’t blame u for choosing art over latin esp. when all of your friends are doing art as well!! I’d choose art over latin as well lol skshsg but in year 6 we had to choose between latin and french, and at the time i didn’t like french? which was dumb of me and now i wanna learn french ekdhs but i don’t regret choosing latin at all bc if i properly learn french one day then i’ll already know understand loads of stuff (or at least some stuff lol) just thanks to latin 😌😌 but still, art>>>latin skskshshgs

I wanna watch chaos walking too!!! But i don’t get when/where/how it’s out lmao, cinemas are still closed here so i’ll either have to wait or find it somewhere online... il*egally 🥰 i don’t have high expectations at all btw but i like daisy and tom and the dog🥺 so i think i’ll enjoy it

GIRL SHARK FILMS SHARK FOLMS SKSJSHSHS okay so there are a few classics i haven’t watched yet, and also a few new ones that i haven’t seen yet BUT I LOVE SHARK FILMS SO MUCH SKSHSGSGSKK the first like proper shark film i ever watched was the shallows (which i like but my brain is still too small to comprehend what happened at the end (i mean i get it but i just can’t imagine it— idek if you’ve seen the film but skshhs)) and after watching it three times it does get a bit boring (but now whenever i see pictures or videos of big waves i’m just waiting for a shark to show up like come ON SKSJSG

^^^that pic/scene really traumatised me sksjsh but i still like the film

I only watched jaws like a few months ago, and i get that it’s a classic and also that it’s old and they just didn’t have the best.. equipment or special effects or whatever but i mean... look at meg and then look at jaws.... no disrespect to jaws at ALL but the meg is so much cooler. (That one scene on the boat where the shark just JUMPS OUT OF THE WATER AND SKSJSHHSUSJHA i get such a shock every time it’s so good (and the dog aww aksjshssli 🥺🥺🥰 and the boy with the ice cream lmao he’s iconic)

47 metres down, wow, i liked that film too. (i’ve only watched the original/first one i think) i mean that is such a fucking nightmare scenario like ALSJDHSNEMSKDJSHSJSKWBALSODUEWBSLDKHDJSNSKSKSHSGEBWKAISGSHEKEKSKLDJDJDHDHSHAGGA (that’s the best way i can express my feelings about that scenario lmao)

oh and i’ve recently been watching more horror films but i don’t know if they’re for me... I like the thrill and whatever but i just end up being scared for my life when i have to go to the bathroom at night or when i’m trying to sleep bc suddenly my mind is flooded with all the scary shit from the films 💀💀💀

and music i mean... you know those people who just don’t listen to music? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM???? i honestly like all genres especially in the last year, i am IN LOVE with Nicki Minaj + Megan andddd Stormzy and i like Harry Styles but i prefer his first solo album (and obviously one direction has bangers i have a throwback 1D session at least once a month), I also love MGK especially his new stuff and otherwise i mostly listen to german artists lmao. So who do you like?💖 (WHY DO I FEEL LIKE YOURE GONNA SAY SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SKAHAGUS IF YOU LISTEN TO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MUSIC DONT JUDGE ME AJSHDJS) (i know you’re not gonna judge me but)

++ @ the thing you said about writing, don’t worry, i don’t feel pressured at all!!! (not by you and not by anybody else.. except myself sometimes lol) and i’m just very happy that you liked my fics 🥰🥰🥰 and if i start telling people that i’m writing a fic then sometimes it puts a bit of (healthy) pressure on me. like yes sometimes it really is writer’s block, but sometimes i really am just lazy ddkshhd so now that i’ve told you i’m writing a fic i might get my ass up quicker than i would if i hadn’t told anyone 😌😌😌

#ok i wrote some if this on the tube/on the bus/at the dentist/in bed so if this seems like it’s all over the place #that’s bc i was literally all over the place skshg #*of #also i love how you used tags skajahsg #lovely anon #<3 #sorry if some of the sentences didn‘t make sense or were too fucking long i wrote half of this half asleep #and i know i dont have to apologise but still like no one should have to read all my page long sentences that arent even proper sentencesskk

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panickedforcefield · 4 years

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THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE: MUN & MUSE

Fill out & Repost ♥ This meme definitely favors Canons more, but I hope OC's still can make it somehow work with their own lore and Lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multimuses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

Tagged by: @ifthearmorfits , @polyhexianchicken

Tagging: @raysofsinshine @eloquent-music @symphonicdemise @omicrontheicequeen @wild-at-spark @rebel-heart-icy-spark @knockoutsapprentice @kups-war-stories and anyone who wants to it^^

MY MUSE IS. canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless

* is your character popular in the fandom? YES/NO

* is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? WELL… / NO / IDK. (I mean, I really like the Bot)

* is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.

* are they underrated? YES / NO.

* were they relevant to the main story? YES (Sorta??) / NO. (I am so sad about that. He deserved better)

* were they relevant to the main character? YES (In a way. He was kind of a turning point) / NO

* are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. (No idea)

* how’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON?

That is quite hard to determine. I try to follow canon up to the point of where Kaon killed him. But the more I play and write him, the more new aspects he gets, the more things he experiences and the more off-canon he gets. But thats Character development.

SELL YOUR MUSE! (aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutual.)

This Truck can carry you anywhere you want to go! Just dont let him run out of fuel and Highgrade, don't abuse him and you have one of the loyalest souls in the Universe on your side. This scared and scarred Bot is build like a brick wall and even has some special abilities. I am not talking about his Magna Clamps, which lets him magnetize himself to different surfaces, I am not talking about his Outlier Ability to generate Forcefields!! I am talking about his empathy! This is one, maybe naive, Bot that can think about others viewpoints and where they come from, he is thinking about what he can do about it. This steady Bot can hold so much fuel, you won't believe it! He even always has some juice packs with him, that he offers others. He is the perfect guy to take with you for any occassions. Not bad looking, not as dumb as others perceive him to be and with a strive to show himself to others!

NOW THE OPPOSITE! (list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?)

Even if you think you know him, you don't. He learned that people judge what they see, so he tries to be perfect n their eyes, helpful and polite. Its a mask. He seldomly lets someone get past behind those masks anymore. He is very unsure of himself, very easily guided along with pretty words. But if he likes you and calls you a friend even behind his mask, he would lay down everything for you, which is a nice point for him but an even bigger one against him. He is a drunk, his frame needing way more fuel than other mechs of the same build.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE?

To be honest. The first time I saw Teebs in any comic was in the Wrecker-series. And he was just a guy breaking into a situation and smiling that warm smile of his at a friend in need. There was no judgement and no pity there, just a very happy and warm smile. This was the moment I wanted to see more of him. And then I kept on reading. And I was getting more and more desperate to see more about Trailbreaker/Trailcutter. And the more I saw and read up on, the more my heart sank. This was a bot struggling with himself, but smiling for others, being there for others. Someone who wants so depseratly to change and even making true friends along the way after all the shit he had to went through, only to be cut down way before his time, way before anyone could breach all of his walls. And I was crying for him. My heart broken. He deserved so much more, I kept thinking.

It took maybe a few days and a few talks with a friend before I found the courage to really do it, to RP him.

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION

The Teebs in itself is keeping my attention. The many different layers his char gets the more i play him. And the different people I interact with. Gosh, people. I couldn't do it without you. I love the reactions, I love all the little snippets, I love rereading threads or just mentions. It keeps me going and it keeps my love up. Its awesome.

SOME MORE PERSONAL QUESTIONS FOR THE MUN.

do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO.

* do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO.

* do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO.

* do you think a lot about your muse during the day? YES (Very very much so.) / NO.

* are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO. (I dont know. I wish I could say yes, but I think im making to many mistakes. But I try to get better.)

* are you confident in your writing? YES / NO. (Most of the time)

* are you a sensitive person? YES / NO. (No comment)

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?

If it's constructive. Constructive Criticism is all well and can only get me to better my writing or to face things I didnt think about before. If its just flames, I delete it right away. Really, just comming in to tell me they hate my portrayal is nothing you do. Flames are used to roast my marshmallows, enough said.

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?

YES!!! Yes, I love those! I can't get enough of those, because really, you can only wrap your brain around issues and questions and HC for so long before you get stuck. Those questions keep my brain and imagination in the loop and I have so much fun to think about those, to come up with reasonings.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?

Eh, I mean. Normally people tell me why they think different. There can be quite some good discussions stemming from that, but mostly, we are humans with different ways of life and different experiences. So naturally we will see some things differently. My Muse is following my own way though, so it all makes sense to me and fits the puzzle in my head.

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?

I would ask myself why they would read what I wrirte then. They can just unfollow me if they hate what I do. You can't cater to every whim. You can't play nice with everyone. But really, if you hate my Muse, why coming back to my Blog then? You have your own opinion and thats all great. So, it really doesnt face me to be honest. As long as it doesnt blow up to hate against me or all people liking what I do.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN?

I hope so, but I know or imagine that I am not. I have my problems, my work and time zones to work through. But I dont want to let those get in the way of nice interactions. I am a scatterbrain, I sometimes forget threads. Its not because I dont want to continue, but because my RL is getting really stressy or something is eating my brain capacity. I love my time on tumblr and try to be open minded and nice to everyone. I hope that gets across^^ So, all in all, I want to be an easygoing Mun. And I love others getting in contact with me about everything.

#Mun and Muse #ask #very long #gosh that took ages #sorry #my brain is mush^^

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mattygraygubler · 5 years

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our campus: chapter 8 (tom holland fic)

summary: frat!tom and reader go to the same college and y/n is tasked with being his tutor, they don’t really get along at first (because i love reader and tom hating each other trope)

warnings: drinking, drinking, more drinking, mentions of sex

word count: 2.6

a/n: sort of a cliff hanger at the end???? we’ll see what happens!

as always texts are bolded

for a list of characters click here

to be added to the tag list send me an ask !

masterlist

✰✰✰✰✰

You slowly opened your eyes and were immediately confused. You were in your room, but you felt someone’s arms around you.

You drank almost an entire bottle of wine last night, so needless to say, you didn’t really remember anything. You didn’t think you slept with someone… But did you?

The body groaned, but you still couldn’t figure out who it was because the lights were off and blackout curtains closed. You pushed their shoulder a bit and heard a british voice say “Whaa?”

“Tom?” You asked incredulously.

“Good morning, darling,” he said. His voice was raspy and low, so incredibly sexy.

“What are you doing here? Why are you shirtless, where are my pants?! Did we- ohmigod tell me we didn’t…”

“You don’t remember?” He asked and you shook your head, still very aware that his arm was around you and your legs were intertwined. “Relax, we didn’t have sex, love. We just hung out and then watched a movie and fell asleep.”

“Then where’s your shirt?” He laughed.

“You’re wearing it. You were cold and wouldn’t let me leave the bed, so I gave it to you.” You bit your lip, very uncomfortable. It was one thing to sleep with someone and not remember it, but to spend the entire night cuddling? You weren’t a couple, who does that?!

“Oh. I’m sorry.” You said and sat up, untangling your body from his.

“What are you apologizing for?” He asked.

“I mean… I’m your tutor, we’re just becoming friends, it’s weird for us to-to sleep in the same bed together and-”

“Y/N, slow down. We’re friends. It’s really not a big deal, totally platonic. I mean, c’mon, you’ve never slept in the same bed as Kyle? Or Emily?”

“No, I have…” “Then what’s the big deal?” He asked.

“I guess there isn’t one…” You replied. Tom swung his leg over the side of the bed, stretching and getting his stuff together. You couldn’t help but watch his back muscles flex when he stretched. You wanted to run your fingernails along it.

“I gotta take care of some stuff, I’ll see you later today?” He asked. You nodded.

“Sure, I’ll see you later. Wait, Tom!” You said before he could walk out the door.

“Yes?” He turned back to look at you.

“You’re, uhm… You need your sweatshirt back.” You started to take it off.

“I’m only going down two floors. You look comfy anyway.” He said and smiled at you before walking out.

You lied back down in bed, picking up your phone and checking the alerts. You scrolled through all the drunk texts from last night, laughing at a lot of them.

♡girly girls♡

GUYS

whaaaaaat em

GUYS GUYS GUYS

em what happened

NOTHING HAPPENED

YET

CHECK THE WEATHER REPORT

You rolled your eyes and checked the weather report, unsure of what she was referring to. It was the first weekend in February, so you weren’t expecting your weather app to show you a 100% chance of snow starting in a few hours and lasting until Monday night.

THATS RIGHT LADIES

SNOOOOOOWWWW DAAAAYYYYYY

Y/N we’ll be over at 9 to play games, iz you and i are goin to grab the booze, em youre in charge of food

You

what am i in charge of?

dont you have homework? plus were using your room, we can take care of all the stuff

are we inviting anyone else?

thank you for asking i would love to invite harrison

im fine with that if i can invite cal

Cal was the nerdy boy from delt who Isabelle was seeing. It was really low key, they’d only gone on a few dates, and things hadn’t gotten physical yet.

Y/N! invite tom and we’ll make it a total delt nite !!!

You

yeah ok ill invite him. were gonna be studying anyway.

wow i expected more push back

You

were friends now, it wont be weird. its not like its a quintouple date

it is if one of those delt boys has a gay sister

not interested. besides i doubt more than 7 people can fit comfortably in Y/N’s room

You

fine ill see you guys tonight.

You hopped in the shower, putting on a pair of leggings and a cropped sweatshirt. You decided to text Tom.

You

hey so it looks like its gonna snow i was wondering if we could work at my place instead?

also ive been told to invite you to our game night tonight

Tom

interesting, because i was already invited

what took you so long Y/L/N?

You

sorry i was in the shower

Tom

likely story

but yeah that sounds great ill see you in a few hours

A few hours. That’s plenty of time for you to put your glasses on, earbuds in, and really focus on your homework.

* * *

You were pulled from your law reading by a knock at the door. You opened it, seeing Tom in a soccer tee shirt and gray sweatpants. His hair was wet and he ran his fingers through it.

You hoped he didn’t see the fact that you bit your lip, but you couldn’t help yourself. He just looked so incredibly sexy.

“You look... “ His eyes scanned your body and you immediately wrapped your arms around you, insecure.

“What?”

“No, you just never wear stuff like this in front of me. You’re always so put together.”

“Your point?”

“You look cute, that’s all.” Tom said and walked into the room. He thought you were cute? No, you needed to calm down, he’s the biggest player ever, he didn’t mean anything. Just some accidental flirting.

“I brought tequila, Harrison said it’s your favorite.” He said and dropped his backpack on the floor and put the tequila on the table where you kept your booze.

“That’s sweet of you, thank you, it is my favorite.” “Really? I thought he was joking.” “No, why?”

“You’re just… you’re really something else, Y/N.” He said with a laugh.

You grabbed your notebooks and started the session, you checking his homework, him redoing the mistakes, and you answering any questions he had about the material.

“You’ve definitely made an improvement,” you said as you finished reading his essay on the power shifts in England from the 1600s to today.

“Thank you? I think?”

“You’re welcome. You’re almost there, but you’re still not incorporating this source correctly.”

“That’s because that source makes no sense. The writing is so convoluted, it’s mental!”

“Then why don’t you find a new source?” You asked.

“Well… I thought I’d be easier if I just stuck with this one.” Normally you would have rolled your eyes at that, but instead you found yourself laughing.

“Read it again,” You said and handed him the library book he was using as his last source, “And if you still can’t understand it, I can explain it or we can just find a new source.”

You grabbed your own book, Rage Becomes Her, which you were reading for your Women, Politics, and Public Policy class, and started highlighting right where you left off.

You both got lost in your books, highlighting and annotating in silence. Every once in a while Tom would stop to ask you about a particular passage.

It was another hour or so before you both heard a knock on your door. You got up to open it, and as soon as you did Emily burst into the room, Harrison right behind her holding three pizzas.

“TOM!” Emily said and tackled him in a hug. “It’s so good to see you again!” “I didn’t realize you two had met,” you said and helped Harrison with the pizzas.

“Just once,” Tom said with a laugh. He made himself comfortable on your bed instead of the floor, Harrison took a seat on your comfy chair and Emily made herself comfortable on his lap.

“I better leave this unlocked,” you said. “I would offer you guys a drink, but Isabelle and Ally are-”

“Did someone say something about a drink?” Isabelle said, pushing the door opened.

“What’s up bitches,” Ally said and put a bottle of wine, svedka, prosecco, and a 30 on the booze table.

“How long do you guys anticipate this storm lasting, because that is a LOT of booze for 7 people,” you commented.

“Lighten up, babe, it’s not like we have to drink it all tonight.” Isabelle responded.

“Better to be safe than sorry.” Ally said with a mischievous grin. They greeted the others in the room when you heard a knock on your door.

“I heard there was a party happening here?” Cal said as he pushed open the door. You closed it all the way behind him so no one else could stumble in.

After everyone introduced themselves to each other, Harrison said “So what does everyone want to play first?”

“Oh, you’re new.” Ally said. “See, we kinda of have an agenda.” “Is that so?” Harrison asked. Emily kissed his cheek. “Tell me more.”

“Well the first time we had a snow day, we took turns picking our favorite games, and then we just stuck with that formula. First is A which means kings,” Isabelle said. “Then Emily, which means never have I ever. Then me, which means truth or dare. And then Y/N.”

“And what does Y/N pick?” Tom asked.

“Y/N picks poker, of course. But most of the time were too drunk to get there.” Ally said.

“Yeah I really got the short end of the stick there. It’s a good formula, though.” You replied and grabbed a deck of cards and a beer.

“Let’s go, boys and girls.” You said. Everyone sat in a circle, the beer in the middle like you were worshipping it, and you spread out the cards in a circle around it. You saw Tom and Harrison exchange a look across the circle.

“Something wrong?” You asked.

“Well… Don’t judge us, but we’ve never played this game before. They don’t have it in England.” Everyone else laughed quietly at Harrison’s statement.

“It’s easy. Everyone picks a card, and each card has an action assigned to it. Ace is waterfall,” You said.

“Two is you, so you pick someone to drink.” Isabelle said.

“Three is me, so you drink.” Cal said as you went around the circle explaining the rules.

“Four is floor, so the last person to slap the floor loses.” Emily said.

“Five is guys,” Ally said.

“Six is chicks,” You said and the circle started again.

“Seven is heaven, so last person to touch the ceiling drinks.”

“Eight is date, so you pick someone and whenever one of you drinks the other has to too, for the rest of the game.”

“Nine is rhyme, so you go around the circle saying words that rhyme and the person who can’t continue the rhymes drinks.”

“Ten is categories, so it’s the same as nine but with a category of something, like animals.”

“Jack is never have I ever.”

“Queen is questions, so the next person who answers a question they ask drinks.”

“And finally, king is the ruler, so you make a rule that everyone has to follow until the next king is pulled.”

“Make sense?” You asked.

“Not one bit.” Tom responded.

“You’ll get the hang of it, I promise it gets easier.” You said. “Al goes first.”

“Why?” Harrison asked.

“Gay goes first.” The four of you said in unison. The boys looked scared. They had no idea what they had gotten themselves into.

“One last rule. First drink is a shot of your chosen poison. After that, you can drink whatever you want.” You explained as Isabelle gave each person a shot glass and the handles of hard liquor were passed around.

“Four,” Ally said and everyone slapped the floor except Tom and Harrison. Harrison realized first, so you watched as Tom downed the shot across the circle. He tensed his jaw after, which made you wet already. When he saw you looking at him, he winked at you.

Your turn was next, so you quickly pulled a card, a six, so you and the other girls did your shots and then began to pour yourselves your chosen drinks. For you, that was a second shot of tequila and then a rum and orange soda.

“Two.” Isabelle said with a grin. “I choose our kings sponsor, miss Alexandria Park.” Everyone whooped as Ally dramatically took a sip of her beer.

“Five,” Cal said. The boys took their shots, except Tom who took a sip of his beer.

“My turn then?” Tom said and drew a card. “Eight. Which one is that?”

“Date. You pick someone and for the rest of the game whenever one of you drinks, the other has to too.” Cal explained. Tom looked around the circle, but you already suspected who he was going to pick.

“Y/N,” he said. “Would you care to be my date?”

“You’re exhausting, Holland. What, are you trying to get me drunk or something?” That shut him up, right as Harrison said ‘seven’ and everyone reached for the ceiling except Tom, who groaned and complained about having to drink again.

Cal was the one who finally popped the beer and had to chug it. You put the cards to the side and everyone held up ten fingers, already ready for never have I ever.

Things started off innocent enough, with Emily sharing that she had never peed in a pool. By the time you all went once and it was Harrison’s turn, he made things more interesting.

“Never have I ever slept with more than 15 different people.” You and Tom were the only ones who clapped.

Harrison rolled his eyes. “Jesus fucking christ, it’s like you guys were made for each other.” He commented. Your face got red, which Emily noticed, so she went quickly next.

You finally lost, getting rid of your ten fingers before anyone else. You were always a bag of secrets, and Tom found himself learning more and more things about you he didn’t know. Like that you had a tattoo, or that you’ve gone skinny dipping, or that you’ve never had a gin and tonic.

You were all wasted, that was clear. Isabelle was in between Cal’s legs on the floor, leaning her back against his chest. Ally was lying on the couch all by herself, upside down. Harrison was in your big chair with Emily on his lap, and you and Tom were on your bed, you lying on your stomach and him sitting against the headboard.

“Isabelle, truth or dare?” Cal asked.

“Dare,” she said, looking back at him.

“I dare you to ditch your friends and come back to my room with me.” He said.

Isabelle shared a look with all of you before saying “Sorry guys, I’m not one to turn down a dare.” They grabbed the half-drunk bottle of prosecco on their way out.

“Al, truth or dare?” Emily asked. This went on until Ally passed out from drinking, still upside down.

“We’ll get her home.” Harrison said. He picked Ally up as Emily collected their stuff and bid you and Tom good night. You both sat in silence for a few minutes, when Tom’s phone lit up.

“Do you mind if I chill here for a while? I’ll stay on the couch if you want to go to sleep, but Harrison just said him and Emily want some alone time and her roommate is home.”

“Of course, I don’t mind.” You responded. You stumbled off the bed, going to pour yourself another drink.

“Ok, Y/N.” Tom said, moving so he was sitting on the edge of the bed. “Truth or dare?” You turned to look at him and saw a dark look in his brown eyes.

“Dare.”

“I dare you to kiss me.”

#tom holland imagine #tom holland #tom holland fanfic #tom holland fanfiction #frat!tom

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camelotpark · 6 years

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http://thisdiscontentedwinter.tumblr.com/post/182179304312/in-which-camelotpark-falls-in-a-whole#notes

These are just some of the terms under your dumb as a box of scotts

"because Stiles isn’t a fucking idiot." (when directly comparing him to Scott and thereby calling Scott a fucking idiot)

"You have to be smart to be at Peter Hale levels of villainy. I’m not sure Scott could think his way out of a paper bag if someone gave him a flashlight and a map, TBH."

"But you know what else is brainless, and also as canonically smart as Scott?

A box of rocks."

Each of these quotes go far beyond just his academic success and instead talking about his intelligence as a whole so you're "I'm just calling him academically challenged" is bullshit. You are calling a latinx character "dumb as a box of rocks" when canonically he was shown to outsmart men I'm sure you consider his superior in every way. Just because you didn't like how he did it doesn't take away it took intelligence and skill to do it. Something the show clearly acknowledged he had and something you have worked hard to strip him of.

"And given that Scott’s bad grades are being mentioned as early as the first few episodes, how do you account for that? "

“Second verse, same as the first!"

Once again your tag goes far beyond his academic intelligence and into you thinking he is as dumb as a bag of rocks (your exact words) as a whole so trying to pull the "he failed classes" tactic now is a weak attempt to save face. A stereotype that most latinx deal with is assuming that they are stupid because they aren't "as smart" as their white counterparts and "because Stiles isn't a fucking idiot" shows you sure as hell think that despite canon showing Scott is more than capable of holding his own

I'm sure instead of just saying "Okay,maybe he had academic troubles,but that isn't a measure of his overall intelligence" you'll just dig you'll heels in more and swerve to prove this latinx character is stupid because you (a white woman) judge Scott (a brown latinx) for not knowing what every single english word means. And yes, that stupid bestiary thing comes up in the tag a lot so you use a latinx's grasp on the english language to call him stupid. You know he speaks english (as you often complain that him not speaking spanish can prove he's not a latino in canon) Yet you used him not understanding one word to prove your point, I would ask if you know that's a racist stereotype too (latinos not speaking the english language well), but it's clear you lack a lot in understanding racial bigotry beyond just hating someone for their skin color or calling them a slur.

Of course trying to attack my own intelligence because I misspelled words is tactic you used and clearly show a pattern so I'm not surprised. It's a easy lazy way to try and discredit someone because your defense for your actions are paper thin.

"I know that you never said fandom wasn’t an open place for self-expression and that we all have different tastes. Because clearly you don’t believe that, right??"

You damn right I don't believe that,not for a second. I'm a poc in fandom and have been for a long time. Teen Wolf is not my first dealing with this culture and I've seen poc fans driven from fandoms in droves because their "open-place for self-expression" was attacked. Because they dare challenge the racially bias way a poc character was treated. See, when you say "Open place for self-expression" what you mean is "Let me do what I want, let me paint this poc how I want, and I don't care if it hurts poc fans to see the characters that look like them judged more harshly by fandoms then their white counterparts. You don’t like it,don’t read it."

Then of course those poc go to safer spaces and we have people like you and StickeyKeys and the rest of your crew going "I can be here and say what I want because this tag isn't just for you to celebrate your character it's also for me to let you see how awful he/she is" See, the problem is that you don't want poc to have their space just for them. You want to be in every single part of it and eventually it makes poc fans leave the fandom completely.

An article that dared to celebrate Scott and put him in a space of queer-coded that moc are hardly ever in with fandom was attacked mercilessly and his character was demonized once again. The article never once bashed Stiles or any other character,but of course a place to celebrate a poc had to have people tell everyone exactly why that support was wrong.

A “they do it so I can do it too” is not a reason, it’s an excuse.

Your blog has literally condemned Scott for switching out a white man's cancer pills as evil and cruel when that white man has attacked him repeatedly. Has stabbed him and plainly said he would kill Scott's mother. Scott was painted as non-heroic for potentially killing a man who has tried to kill him before and would have gladly killed Scott's mother. Let's ignore that Donovan telling Stiles he’ll kill his father and attacking him is all the justification you need to say Stiles was not at fault for what he did.

You love to use the word hypocrisy without realizing you are literally the biggest hypocrite there is.

Of course I can hear the excuse now "Heat of the moment!" "Stiles didn't plan it!" "Scott’s was premeditated!" I'm sure if Scott had just slashed Gerard's throat you would back him up and defend him against accusations he's unnecessarily cruel. I'm sure if Scott somehow got the upper hand on Derek on that ice rink and ripped his heart out you would be the first to defend Scott against people saying his safety doesn't excuse his actions. He should have been “better”

I'm sure to you it means absolutely nothing to put a white man's life over a poc's and paint that poc as bad for taking actions against it, but it means something to people like me because this behavior isn't confined to just fandom. So yes, when a poc brings this up it is amazing how fast that "Open place for self expression" disappears.

"And I’m calling Scott not academically smart because that’s what his teachers say. That’s why he had to go to the parent teacher night."

Once again you literally called him no smarter than a bag of rocks.

"We could also talk about how stereotypes are different all around the world, and that your US-centric worldview isn’t the universal experience and that people from different countries and cultures aren’t ingrained with the same racial biases from birth as Americans are."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ignorantia_juris_non_excusat

"Ignorantia juris non excusat[1] or ignorantia legis neminem excusat[2] (Latin for "ignorance of the law excuses not"[1] and "ignorance of law excuses no one"[2] respectively) is a legal principle holding that a person who is unaware of a law may not escape liability for violating that law merely because one was unaware of its content."

The same goes for racism and stereotypes. Just because you are unaware racial bias exist with certain stereotypes does not give you a pass for using them. You learn it, you acknowledge it, and you stop doing it.

"That’s called a metaphor." "And disagreeing with another woman’s opinion is not misogyny"

I'm glad you know what a metaphor is,but nobody said your disagreement with another woman is misogyny (or your disagreement with a lgbtq man is homophobia) The language you used to defend yourself is. You attacked their sexuality to one up them and saying that a woman or lgbtq man is "sucking someone's dick" when all they are doing is defending a character you don't like is key misogyny and homophobia, metaphorically intent or not. And don't think I didn't notice that you didn't mention your homophobia in your reply. You could have went a million different ways to defend your stance. It is disgusting and you were disgusting for doing it. There is absolutely no defense for that action.

See, you say people are moving goalpost when they dismantle your argument and you try and swerve. It's not. I'm saying what I always said "Scott McCall is not as dumb as a bag of rocks and you trying to prove that true is racial stereotyping"

One last thing. I have never said you can't speak on racism, if you see it by all means call it out. What I said was you can't tell other people (especially poc) what is not racist. That is not your right.

#trash from a land down under #anti-teen wolf fandom #fandom racism #fandom misogyny #homophobia

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crypticarus · 6 years

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yeah so because of recent events and all regarding sh/adam here comes this:

This is my last post on this topic.

Either way I tag them as #discourse from now on. I know I am personally very uncomfortable with discourse generally and this blog is dedicated to my art and I actually wanted to actively avoid any discourse. But this is a topic that hits closer to home I need to vent it out.

But mt opinion, long story short is: I pretty much despise Adam because he expected Shiro to choose Adam over his own happiness and so far hasnt done anything to redeem himself. Explanation under the cut.

So, as I mentioned in previous posts: fuck Adam. I'm not gonna dip any deeper into how I think Shiro deserves someone who will be able and happy to unconditionally support him and how I think that person is Keith and how much I love Sheith because of it. I'm not even gonna mention what Shiro deserves or Keith after this.

So, I watched episode 1 of the upcoming season and finally i feel better making a post about Adam now.

In the end, though, it didnt change anything on my previous opinion.

Adam's decision of not waiting for Shiro and leaving him because of the Kerberos mission and because he simply didnt have the mental energy to seeing someone he loves deeply suffer, is selfish but understandable. And there's nothing wrong in being selfish. Although even if obviously the stress people who have disabled beloved ones is nothing compared to what the disabled person has to go through, it doesnt change the fact that it's still stressful and everyone, whether disabled or not, has to decide for themselves what is best for their mental stability and health and if they want to put themselves through such stress or cant. Deciding that you cant doesnt make you evil. Wanting your loved ones to be safe and alive and well isn't wrong.

Still I cant go all "I love Adam!!!" and "he did nothing wrong!!" not because I'd be prioritizing Shiro anyway, but because of Adam's ultimatum and how Adam saw one option as the right and one as the wring one.

"Takashi, how important am I to you?". That's what Adam said. I dont remember how exactly Adam phrased it but after that he outright told Shiro that Shiro would have to choose between having Adam in his life or the Kerberos mission. Between someone who Shiro loved and wanted to be with for the rest of his life or a dream he obviously had devoted his whole life to, the dream of his life. Between Adam or winning the fight against his disability by not going down without a fight. Because we know that there was no hope for Shiro no matter how much he rests and all Shiro could do was decide what to do with his remaining time. (I have an idea of what Shiro's disease is, and if it is then I have some experience with it, which makes it all the more personal to me and makes me all the more angry at Adam and anyone who sides with him.)

And I know some people are okay with giving up their dreams or ambitions to be with their loved ones. Shiro obviously isnt that person though.

Shiro was disabled. Shiro knew it was a miracle he had come this far anyway despite his disease (Adam did say Shiro already broke all sorts of records) and he wanted to go further. He didnt want to stop already. To Shiro it probably felt like giving up to his illness if he had stopped. As a disabled person giving up to your illness is the ultimate defeat. Personally, I'd much rather die. Adam KNEW how much value the Kerberos mission had, that this is the last chance Shiro would get. Yes, it was a life-threatening mission, but Shiro would rather die than give up to his disability, or so it seems to me.

Think about what a miserable life that would be to Shiro. Think about how depressing that would be. Adam would rather see Shiro alive but miserable with no real chance of recovery than what? Dead? No, because no one would want Shiro as a pilot if they thought he wouldnt make it back alive enough and able enough to safely pilot them back. They wouldnt even have considered him, but obviously they did. So Adam would rather have Shiro in regret and miserable surrender for his last few years before the disability kicks in full than achieving his ambitions and being happy and proud. And all because of being selfish? All because ADAM didnt wanna be alone? I would get it if Adam's concern would be that Shiro wouldnt pilot them all back safely, but that obviously isnt Adam's real concern here if he starts iff1 with "Takashi how important am I to you?".

That's what rubs me so wrong with Adam, that's why I really hate him, to be honest. I'm not saying he's evil or a person you should hate and demonise. Adam is just human. But honestly? What does it tell me about you if you absolutely adore Adam after thats all we get from him and you think he did nothing wrong in wanting Shiro to give up his ambitions for him? What does it tell me about you that you'd want Shiro to come back to earth to Adam, who gave up on Shiro? That you'd want Shiro to regret leaving Adam, regret not giving up on himself? If you dont think Adam needs to apologise and redeem himself, if you think Shiro is in the one in the wrong-

If it weren't for the ultimatum, I wouldnt hate Adam. If Adam had just said he couldnt bear seeing Shiro suffer then I would let Adam go like that. If Adam had said he thought the mission is too risky and he couldnt bear waiting for Shiro to come back, I wouldnt judge Adam. If we meet Adam again and he apologises for his outburst to Shiro and means it, Adam redeems himself in my eyes. I still wont like him and I still dont think he's deserving of Shiro. I still wont want them to be together because I think if Adam didnt have the strength to be with Shiro with his disability until the end, then how can Adam be sure to be able to be with Shiro now that he's scarred (both literally and figuratively) from a galactic war Adam hadnt been there to experience and therefore couldnt ever truly comprehend the consequences of?

Adam isnt truly evil for what he said. Evil is a much stronger word I reserve for truly evil people. Because people say bad things under stress, say things they dont mean or regret, voice their thoughts in a wrong way all the time. Or sometimes they mean what they say but think better later, realise their mistakes and make things right. Stress does that to you. But owning up to it is what counts. Owning up to the consequences, owning up to people not liking you for that anymore or leaving you or outright avoiding you and despising you, that's what makes you a good person.

You can tell me all you want how Shiro should think about how his actions make other people feel. That he should have considered Adam's feelings and think twice about the Kerberos mission. Amd I hope he did. If not that was wrong of him too. But we all have to make our choices and decide when to be selfish or not. When to prioritise ourselves over other people. When you have to leave people for the sake of ourselves. Being selfish all the time is obviously not a good way to go, but leaving your life completely up to others and only living for other people's sake and be miserable for it isnt either. If you're going to live to make others happy then do it only if it actually does make you happy, too. Shiro wouldnt have been if he had. He knee that. Or maybe he would have been anyway, but neither decision would have been wrong of him.

Shiro risking his life to achieve his ambitions was part of his fight against his disability. It was part of not giving up. Adam couldnt respect that. He disrespected Shiro's struggles not by leaving Shiro but by forcing Shiro to choose between him, or winning that fight. Thats why I think Adam did something extremely wrong. I hate Adam because I hate people who prioritize themselves over people's recovery and happiness, expect people to, and then have the nerve to not even regret it.

In retrospect it wasnt really Adam giving an ultimatum to Shiro that was wrong. It was Adam expecting Shiro to choose him and get angry at Shiro for choosing his own happiness over Adam's.

Again, if Adam regrets it and owns up to, apologises, then I will hate him less. I will still dislike him, but I wont think he's a bad person. But so far that's not what we got and until we see that I wont think Adam did.

So miss me with all your pro-Adam and Sh/adam or A/dashi posts. Miss me with all the "voltron better end with a reunion and a wedding between them!". It makes me truly uncomfortable to see it. Im not bashin on the pairing either, you can ship whatever you like. I dont think people who like Adam or want him to get together with Shiro again are bad people because of that. I dont think people who understand and not dislike Adam because of his actions are either. I wont hate on people if they dont understand why this is my opinion or simply didnt take the step of spending all that much thought on the morality and seriousness of it. But man am I uncomfortable with people who take Adam's side.

#discourse #this is my last post on that or any discourse i swear #vld spoiler

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dont-give-money-to-jkrowling · 7 years

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ABC asks stuffs

@nachodiablo did this so i thought i'll give it a try :) rules : answer the questions in a new post and tag people age : in case you missed my 3557 birthday posts, i recently turned 17

birthplace : in the same city i still live in, which is actually a secret cave where us french prepare our secret plans to take over the world and force everyone to eat old ashey cheese

current time : 10pm, which means near my bedtime as i need around 23 hours of sleep to function

drink you last had : water, sorry to be so uncool

easiest person to talk to : every human interaction is a challenge, but the void will never judge

favorite song : change all the time, recently Wonderwall, cause i'm basic

grossest memory : stepping on a dead jellyfish. Hella gross and left my footprint on a corpse, something I did not see coming in my life

hogwarts house : am i a hufflepuff, am i a ravenclaw, only one smart hatty boi knows the truth

in love : not romantically, but i am in love with all of my friends because they are all good and pure

jealous of people : yes, but i try not to act on it. mostly i get jealous when my friends spend much more time with other people than me

killed someone : there isn't a single person on this earth that i haven't killed already

love at first sight or should i walk by you again : if you are a girl/fem-aligned, changes are i am already crushing on you in my own weird aro way

middle name : dont officially have one, but when i was 8 i started telling people it was Manon Nina, bc i was jealous that other people had middle names

number of siblings : none. I am the textbook only child : refuse to share possessions/space, is panicked when have to eat with more than two people and get panic attacks when someone going in my room is mentioned (you think im joking but no i actually did get panic attacks at that thought i am indeed that bad)

one wish : uuurgh, so many things ! first that comes to mind is that my friend who is auditioning for a drama school gets accepted. he has so much talent !

person you called last : my friend ninon bc i wanted to know when to meet to go and watch black panther and that bitch wasn't answering my texts

question you are always asked : probably some really boring shit like what's up or are you hungry

reasons to smile : shuri from black panther ! she is the greatest person ever

song you last sang : you're welcome, from moana ? fun fact, i sang it in the middle of a deserted mall

time you woke up : 5am, bc for some reason i always wake up at 5am at the moment. Blame it on the stress

underwear color : mostly pink

worst habit : chewing on my nails

x-rays : once for a broken wrist, several time for my scoliosis

your favorite food : spinach and cheese lasagna !

zodiac sign : pisces rule

everyone who wants to do it can, but tag me i want to see it ! <3

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metricanxiety · 7 years

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for diamonds do appear to be just like broken glass to me

Genre: oneshot- idk.

Pairing: Phan. (dan and phil in case you didnt know that already.)

AU: Highschool/sixth form. Whatever you prefer.

Warnings: Swearing, underage ??, mentions to sex

Summary: After two years of heartbreak, Dan ends up sleeping with Phil off a drunken decision, and old, unexpected feelings come back up.

Author’s note: i am aware that this is really crap, but i am trying to improve, so please send me requests of prompts, hc’s, etc, because I will write them for you when I get the time. I’m kinda new to posting on tumblr sooooo. PLease keep this out of the main tags, (i.e danielhowell, danisnotonfire, amazingphil, philllester, etc) because i did not write this for them to see. If you are uncomfortable with mentions of gay sex/same sex relationships then im pulling a mannymua and telling you to please dont fucking read it.

“Pretty pretty.” Phil kissed the dimple adorned on the boy’s cheeks, making them turn a deep crimson. It wasn’t often they could be alone, where it was just the two of them, and they could do whatever they wanted. Dan was completely content. He was wrapped in the arms of Phil Lester, the guy that he’d completely fallen for. And although they were only young, he could sense something really strong between them.

Phil was warm, having his Adventure Time sweatshirt pulled over him, and a blanket draped over his legs. Dan rested comfortably between Phil's knees, back to his chest. The blanket, which they were sharing, was up to Dan’s chest, as he didn’t have a hoodie on. Phil’s arms crossed over Dan’s chest, with no plan of letting go. It was moments like these that Phil longed for. He couldn’t wait to have someone special to him, so they could be entertained just from the company of one another. And he finally had it.

Dan couldn’t help but to think about how lucky he was in that moment. Normally, on Fridays, Phil would be off with friends, spending time with them, but due to a holiday trip, they weren't going to be doing anything all together this summer. Which meant Dan had Phil all to himself.

Phil leaned down, pressing his lips to the skin poking out of Dan’s tee, and it may have been the cold, but Dan shivered under the touch. This was all new to him, he’d never been in a proper relationship before, or had anything romantically special with somebody before. So he was still growing accustomed to the constant affection, not that he didn’t like it, but everything was so new.

Dan turned his head slightly, only to see Phil, resting his chin on his shoulder. Phil tilted his head to look at Dan, and they both smiled, bumping their noses together.

It was Dan to finally close the gap, kissing Phil, just because he could.

When Dan was awoken this early morning, he wasn’t aware he had company. His eyes fluttered open when the rays of sun washed over his face, blinding him. The curtains were never closed the night before, because well, he didn’t even remember half of last night. The sun light lit up Dan’s bedroom, making the edges of his desk shine bright with the natural highlight accentuating the sharp corners. His plant drank up all the light it could get, as it never got much in the first place in it’s dark corner of the room. The pictures that littered his wall had a glare, making the faces unidentifiable, but Dan knew them well enough to know who was being blurred out.

Dan’s hand formed a fist, and rubbed both eyes, as if it would help him wake up, wipe away his constant feeling of restlessness, but alas, it never worked. He yawned, leaning over to check his electric that sat on his bedside table. The numbers lit up in read told the brunet that it was half past six. Dan groaned, throwing the white duvet over his waist, as he swung his legs over the side of the bed, getting ready to be up for the day. A chill washed over his skin, giving his goose flesh up and down his arms, realizing that, yes, he was completely naked. Not a cloth bared on his back.

Dan decided that maybe a few more hours of sleep would do, even though there was probably people piled in his downstairs level of his house from last night’s endeavors. They’d be okay for a little while.

Dan was known for his awesome parties, that’s the only thing keeping his name high in the food chain at school. And lat night was special: the first party of their last year of sixth form. It had to be amazing, because there was now a countdown to the very last party of their secondary school life. Everyone knew Dan would do well with this important night, and judging on what he remembered, he nailed it.

He tugged the duvet back up, flopping down onto his side, and was startled when he saw a body directly next to him, in his own bed.

And it wasn’t just a random stranger from his class, no, it was Lucifer himself.

Phil Lester.

Dan couldn’t believe it, because holy fuck he actually gave into this bastards antics, after two goddamn years of rejection, Dan finally gave in. And he hated himself for it.

You see, Dan never got on with Phil. At least, that’s what Dan told himself. When they were both sixteen, they had this fling over the summer, but they never took it farther than cuddling and holding hands. But, before school started, Dan thought he was finally with the guy of his dreams, but then dumped because friends got back from holiday. Specifically, Phil’s friends.

Dan was so heart broken, he didn’t ever think he would be able to leave the safety of his bedroom ever again. He never thought that Phil, his Phil, would ever hurt him after what happened between them. Sadly, however, people make promises that the probably will not keep, which Dan had learned the hard way.

Ever since, Dan watched Phil, seeing that he wasn’t the only rose petal being ripped apart by Phil’s hands, he wasn’t the only broken heart in the school. Poor, sweet, Liz Brekell, thought Phil was the love of her life after being asked out by him. She swooned over his exterior, and, even Dan admitted, was pretty fucking hot. Phil had muscles in all the right places, with straight, black hair that swept to the right, and his fucking smile, it definitely stole the show. But sadly, Liz was dropped for well, the net girl to drop to her knees. It was disgusting to Dan, that he too, had fallen for the scumbag called Phil Lester.

Dan gasped, brown eyes met blue, one screaming out of horror, disgust, the other of smug, and satisfaction. Phil had a fucking smirk spread across his cheeks, and Dan tugged his duvet away, covering his modesty. Phi, however, didn’t budge. The look in his eyes began the memories to flood back into Dan’s mind.

The alcohol, the kissing, the dancing, all the way until They stumbled into Dan’s bedroom, lips attached, zippers being pulled, buttons being ripped. Everything happened so fast, Dan felt as if he couldn’t breath.

“Morning, sunshine.” Phil’s voice was deep, raspy from its lack of moisture, and the strum of his vocal chords was probably the most sexy thing Dan had ever heard in his entire life. And if he didn’t have self control, he would have melted in Phil’s fingertips right then and there. Instead, he built up his walls of defense mechanisms. Last night was a mistake, he decided.

What Dan didn’t know, was that Phil thought it was hilarious that Dan hated him. He loved it, actually. Phil always liked a challenge. But when the rumors spread, about Dan and him, he was broken to have known Dan was no longer interested At least, that.s what Kyle Lockins said. So Phil did what any man would, moved on, and tried to make him jealous. He only succeeded at one of those things. He only really wanted the boy he had grown close to that one summer, the boy he kissed for the first time in the flatbed of his dad’s truck, under the stars of the country side.

A true night to remember, one of the best nights of Phil’s life, and he let the precious diamonds slip through his fingers, mixing with sand after returning to the rocks he was used to. Dan shined brighter than any gem in the treasure chest of their student population. But Phil could never say that out loud. Picking up pieces of the diamond you lost is more difficult than thought.

Phil shifted closer to Dan, trying to edge himself to the point of human contact, just to be able to touch him, but Dan had other thoughts. Dan did not want Phil any closer than the 38 centimeters they had between them, and ended up falling off the bed on the process. In some degree, Phil was hurt, but at the same time, he needed to take the situation in Dan’s perspective. He, as dd Phil, barely remembered last night, and was woken up to be naked in the same bed with the person he hated for two years now. He had to give the guy a little space.

“Oh my g-” Dan couldn’t even finish his sentence, before covering his entire face with his hands. the duvet flopped down over his waist, but was still half on the bed, over Phil. Dan wasn’t a monster, so he left it.

Phil too had his defense mechanisms, his just wasn’t as effective as Dan’s. He hid his emotions through flirting, being an asshole, basically turning into someone he isn’t. It was a barrier that very few people had broken down, but unfortunately for Dan, they built back up for him, without a realization he’d even torn them down.

Last night, Phil didn’t even know how he convinced Dan to sleep with him, because any time Phil tried to get Dan’s attention, he’d get shot down. Fuck, he wasn’t even personally invited to this party, like everyone else was. (Phil had no idea how Dan had talked to so many people to invite them to a party, because usually the entire class, plus more showed.)

“Dan, let me-” Phil began, but was interrupted by a sudden jolt, seeing the boy that was in his arms not ten hours ago, hide under the duvet.

“Just get your clothes and go.”

His beautiful voice, in Phil’s opinion, was muffled by the thick fabric separating the oxygen into two. He could never have Dan like this again anytime soon, but had to respect his wishes. Phil rolled off the bed, sliding on a pair of boxers, followed by his jeans. He didn’t want to waste too much time, as the embarrassment of the situation was worsening by the second.

Dan heard the door slam shut, and took it as the all clear. Well, not really. Nothing was cleared but his room. His mind had no source of ever being the crystal form of relaxation ever again, even if he only had that at rare times.

He had just broken every single rule in his book. That is, he only had one rule, (never fall for Phil again) but he seemed to be having trouble with that. You may be thinking that two years must have been enough time for these two to recover, and get over the bridge of heartbreak, but their connection was so special, Dan thought about it all the time. Sure, Dan had dated a few guys since, but they all just seemed to be short, no longer than two month, flings. Phil was no different, the only thing keeping him out of this category is the fact that Dan and Phil were never dating. Phil was never Dan’s, and Dan was never Phil’s. Yet, it seemed to be the opposite at the time.

The time Dan and Phil became a thing, Dan had just turned sixteen, and Phil brought him on a date as a birthday present. They’d been talking quite a bit before, but Phil thought this would be his big break with Dan. He was head over heels for the curly brunet, and only wanted him to be happy. He truly was the diamond in the rough in Phil’s eyes.

He hadn’t kissed Dan until three weeks into the summer, when his dad finally let him borrow the truck. There was a scheduled shooting star shower happening that night, and it was the perfect setting to finally feel Dan’s lips against his own. Phil thinks about that moment every night, to this day. The electricity shared between the two could have lit up a city. And if I’m honest, things may have gotten heated, but Phil never pushed Dan. He was younger, and barely sixteen, and Phil was like, the third person to commit to him. (Dan doesn’t consider the other two important because he was so young.)

Phil regrets every decision he made by the end of that holiday, however. His friends hated that he was spending too much time on a boy that wouldn’t last, so he kicked Dan to the curb. Rumors spread, and that was it. Yes, he did find it funny that Dan hated him, but there was always apart of him that wanted to prove to Dan that he wasn’t the piece of shit Dan had mad him out to be.

Dan kicked himself, for he didn’t even remember the feeling of the touch of Phil’s lips against his own last night, Even though he didn’t plan on going back to Phil, he wouldn’t trade what they had for the world. Maybe he needed a reminder, how he felt with him, even if those feelings are no longer adamant.

But for god’s sake, he fucking slept with Phil. He’d done something that his sixteen year old fantasies were based upon, and he barely remembers it.

Dan threw his duvet back up onto his bed, walking over to the closet that held his clothing. He felt the same as he did two years ago. Betrayed. Used. Desperate. Feelings he hasn’t felt with anyone else, and he gets so drunk on it. The taste is so bitter, yet so addictive.

Pulling up a pair of sweat pants, Dan thought he’d kick everyone out now, so he’d have the house to himself. He didn’t want to deal with his feelings, but pushing them away would only make then blow up in his face later on. He didn’t bother with a shirt, nor boxers, but it’s not like he wasn’t going to try and scrub off all of his shame in the shower in ten minutes.

The minute Dan opened the door out of his bedroom, he regret every substance he allowed into his house. Because not only was there a pungent scent of alcohol lingering in the air, he could smell the weed that people decided to smoke in the living room, which meant he had to wash the fabric until it was gone. Fuck.

Dan wasn’t really one to say no at parties, but everyone knew they had to at least ask. For example, the first time somebody brought alcohol, they asked Dan if he’d allow it, because it was his house after all. Until it caught on that yes, Dan wants you to bring all the alcohol your heart desires. Other questions consisted of if body shots were allowed, stripping, cigarettes, and now, I guess, marijuana. He doesn’t remember denying the question of weed, so he must have taken a drag last night. Usually he’d be against the whole ‘drug use’ thing, but when he’s drunk, his decisions can be unpredictable. Hence, the fact that he slept with Phil.

There wasn’t as many people sleeping on his floor as he expected, making his job much easier to complete. He stepped up onto his coffee table, bringing his hands to cup around his mouth.

“Everyone out!” He yelled. “My parents are on their way!”

And yeah, he may have been lying, because his parents both traveled for a living, so he still had four days until they’d be home. It was the best solution to get people to wake up, and scatter. People thanked Dan as they headed out the door, a thanks for an amazing night and a night to remember, a party that can only be topped by the final one. He put on his most believable smile, giving brief, friendly hugs to the last of the fish in the sea that was his own home last night.

The door clicked shut, and Dan immediately fell against the wall. His back slid down to the floor, and he pulled his knees up to his chest, as if he was protecting his heart from shattering, which, in some ways, he was. It took Dan so long to accept that Phil chose his friends over him, that now, it just felt like Phil was hurting him on purpose. He was slowly shattering into millions of pieces of heart break, all over again.

Dan felt sixteen again, going through the same process of regret, and hurt, all starting with shame.

He was really glad that last night was not the night he lost his virginity, because that would have made this situation even worse. Even though, that guy wasn’t all that great either.

His name was Henry, and he was the person to comfort Dan in his mourning over Phil. And, Dan was brainwashed, thinking that some guys are better than the one he fell for, gave him everything he had, but not four weeks later, did the end things. Dan thought he was doomed ever finding any sort of real love. Because even though Dan had Phil for a few short months, he still felt something more than just attraction.

He wished he remembered last night, to feel how Phil touched him, kissed him, felt him. How they connected in a way that they’ve never before, but both under the influence of alcohol running through their veins, making decisions for them before their minds could interfere with all the consequences that would follow.

Dan just felt like crying, because all of his feelings for the boy who had taken him for granted were flooding back like tidal waves, and if he just hadn’t fucking slept with him everything would have been fine, you dumbass, I can’t believe you-

He dragged his feet back up the carpeted stairs, just enough to turn the tap on his shower. Dan hadn’t quite seen himself that morning yet, so the surprise bruises scattered around his neck was quite the scare he saw in the mirror.

Hickeys were never something Dan liked, his neck was too sensitive for him to allow people near it, but well, Phil was an exception, he guessed. The marks were deep purple, fading into a red, then his skin tone. They were fucking dark. And they went from his neck, around his collar bones, to his V-line. The thought of having Phil’s mouth all over him made his skin crawl, and shiver. When he was sixteen, he dreamed of Phil’s mouth all over him, and now, after it happened, he only wanted more.

Phil was always so talented with everything he did, especially kissing, Dan decided. His plump lips were always so smooth against Dan’s, and the one time he actually moved to Dan’s neck, he never left a mark. Now, his neck is sensitive, and his actual skin is no different. He was so surprised when Phil pulled back, leaving no evidence that he was even there. And god, did Dan want proof Phil actually kissed his neck.

Looking at himself in the mirror now, was like a dream. This was his past self’s goal in life, to be marked up, claimed by Phil Lester himself. Dan had a sudden urge for more, to be covered in hickeys that Phil would have to suck and bite him to leave. Every sad emotion he was having before just turned- dirty. He wanted Phil to come back over, and have sex so they have something to remember by. It could be his teenage hormones, or it could be his crazy talking, but we all know it was both.

It would have been so easy to just ring him back over, logistically, but Dan had literally kicked Phil out earlier, so he wouldn’t be surprised if Phil hated his guts now. Could he blame him though?

Suddenly, after two years of telling himself no, Dan was saying go for it, despite his rule. Because maybe this was his shot again. Maybe Phil wasn’t an asshole, and had actual reasons to break up with Liz and every other person to ever date him ever, maybe Dan was different.

All this hype, and confidence, made Dan take the fastest shower he’s ever taken, because ohmigod he was actually going to do this, he was going to make the first move, he was going to invite Phil back over-

He was going to get Phil back.

Just the though made the sixteen-year-old Dan squeal, and tap his toes on the floor out of impatience. He denied his feelings for Phil every day, and suddenly, his entire path changed. It took a complete 180, because he went from hating Phil with every drop of blood in his body, to trying to get him back.

Even if it ended up only being sex.

Dan couldn’t stop staring at himself in the mirror. The marks on his skin, he knew, would turn into some type of drug for him. He loved it. He wanted to look like this all the time. The feeling of being claimed really turned him on, which was, apparently, a kink he had discovered this morning. But it wasn’t just being marked up, and claimed, he wanted it to be done by Phil.

A simple, comfortable outfit, would have to do for Dan, because, if Phil were to come over, he would need something easy to take off. Joggers and a t-shirt was the best he could do. And as Dan lunged for his bedside table to text Phil, tell him to come back over, he was notified that well, Phil had beat him to it. There were two notifications waiting to be read on his lock screen, both next to the simple name, of just Phil, no emoji, or anything to mark him as someone special.

Dan- sorry for last night, i understand if you need some space, but i really need to talk to you

text me if you decide you want to, i guess

Dan’s heart sank like a rock being thrown into the ocean, floating all the way to the bottom before being engulfed by the murky water, making the ocean floor not visible. Dan could’t just invite Phil over now, I mean, it hasn’t been forty minutes since Phil has left, and now things would be awkward, especially since Phil needed to apologize face to face, Dan thought that had to be the reason.

Then the memory of Liz, having her heart ripped out, and thrown in the garbage, right next to her v-card, by Phil was drawn back into his mind. Liz, who cried for months over Phil, probably never got an apology. What Phil did to Liz, was probably going to happen to Dan, for the second time.

The urge he had for Phil still remained, however. So Dan did what any person would do, wait it out.

Phil, on the other hand, was also freaking out. He too, still had feelings for Dan, obviously, and he doesn’t even know how he finally convinced Dan to give him a chance. He thought that after they reconnected, (literally, in this case,) he wouldn’t feel guilty, and everything would be great, and Dan wouldn’t hate him any more than he already did.

Except not really, they were both drunk and happen to hook up. It wasn’t really Dan giving him another chance, but more so, not saying no.

Phil could see it now, the broken pieces were coming together, but only if he doesn’t fuck up like he did again.

Phil scrambled for his phone, as he had left every conversation on do not disturb, except for the only person he cared to talk to, and his phone had finally chimed for the first time in two weeks. And it was exactly who he wanted. His beautiful diamond had finally shined over the sand again, and his was so grateful. Phil couldn’t get Dan off of his mind, because unlike Dan, Phil actually remembered that night with Dan more as time went on. And god, did he want Dan like that again.

He remembered having Dan all laid out in front of his, and he only wanted to kiss him, mark him, because he knew Dan loved it. After two years of trying to get him back, (well, trying to get him to go out, but he was never good at expressing that, as in, he attempts to make Dan jealous) this could finally be it for him. Phil wanted to kiss Dan like he did when they were sixteen.

He wanted to go back to that summer and change his decisions, so maybe he could have had Dan for as long as he wanted. Because even though Phil dated a few people, he never liked them, and appreciated them, as much as Dan. And they were purely to try and get Dan’s attention back on Phil. It never really worked.

“Hello?” Phil slid the screen so fast, it may have seemed desperate to Dan, with how quickly he answered.

“uh, hi, Phil. Look, I’m really sorry about kicking you out the other day, I was overwhelmed and I didn’t know what else to-”

Phil interrupted the sweet voice he had fallen in love with, even though he didn’t want to cut his time short from hearing it. “It’s okay, Dan, I came on too strong, and it was your house, you had the right to do it.” Phil exhaled. He seemed to talk faster and faster as his sentences dragged. Phil could hear Dan’s voice stutter, as if he was about to laugh, but held it back.

“In the text you sent me, um, you said you needed to, um, talk?” Dan could barely spit out his words. This moment had him so anxious these past two weeks, he basically forced his hand to hit the call button. And even then, he nearly hung up immediately.

Phil’s eyes lit up, because Dan actually remembered, but Phil didn’t. He couldn’t for the life of him remember what he needed to tell Dan. Of course, he could go with the plain obvious, and just fucking say how hopelessly head over heals he was for Dan, but there was something more, something that was perching on the tip of his tongue, but couldn’t quite spit out.

“Phil? If you don’t have anything to say, then I should probably-”

“Wait, sorry, just, uh, can we, um, meet?” Phil stumbled. He got onto his knees to attempt to search for his shoes under his bead, eventually pulling out the worn black converse. He held the phone between his cheek and shoulder as he awaited a reply.

“Like, now?”

“Um, yeah? If that’s okay?” Phil laced up his shoes, and shrugged on a light jacket- the England weather had turned quite shit, with rain being the most common in their area, oppose from the lovely sunshine they had a little bit ago.

“I don’t know, Phil, I-”

Yeah, two weeks ago Dan was literally ready to have Phil back, but he was glad he gave himself time to think. Because maybe he didn’t want his fucking heart broken again, by the same person that ripped into pieces in the first place. He couldn’t make it that easy for Phil to just waltz back into his life.

“Please? I can be quick, i just don’t want to do this on the phone.” Phil took a deep breath, about to walk out the front door of his house, still not remembering what he had to say to Dan.

“Fine.”

Phil cut the call, running out to his car, and speeding to get to Dan’s house.

Dan hadn’t been to keen on letting Phil come over again, but he needed closure, and if having a cup of tea in the awkward silence of his living room meant closure, then so be it. The marks on his neck had faded drastically, but you could still see the ghosting of where there was one before. That wasn’t fun explaining to his parents.

He really just wanted to take back everything that happened at the party, because it brought up old feelings that he really didn’t want anymore. Dan sighed, running a hand through his hair. What was Phil Lester doing to him?

Dan had his music on the speaker in the leaving room, trying to calm his nerves as he waited for Phil to arrive. And all that was running through his mind was ohmygodwhy on repeat, but it was too late for him to cancel. He didn’t even know what to expect from Phil this time, if he was looking to just hook up again, or if he was going to apologize, he had no idea.

Dan tried to distract himself, counting the freckles going up and down his arms, rearranging the cushions on the couch, changing his outfit for the billionth time, he just had to keep himself busy.

Dan was feeling so anxious over this, he couldn’t stay still, so when he heard the doorbell, his jitters intensified, and he could barely walk to the door without stumbling. He yanked the door open and it looked like Phil was in the same state of him.

He was wearing all black, and god, did he look so hot, in that form fitting t-shirt, and when he saw Dan, his smile was just so- calming, knowing that yeah, this is Phil. This is the Phil that he care for so deeply two years ago, he was standing right in front of him.The eye contact they shared, it made Dan feel like they were sixteen, both with very awful taste in clothing, inexperienced, and much shorter.

Dan had forgotten how much Phil actually meant to him, as all he did was suppress the pain he went through when Phil left him.The only reason he didn’t grab Phil’s face, and kiss the life out of him, is the fact that Phil came here to talk.

“Dan, I-” Phil started, but Dan flung the door open, letting him in. He didn’t want Phil to talk while standing outside, because A) its rude, and B) he didn’t want Phil to just be in and out.

Phil smiled, walking in, letting Dan lead them to the couch. “Do you want some tea, or anything?” Dan asked, procrastinating this talk even more. Phil chuckled, grabbing Dan’s hands, and pulling him down onto the couch. Dan took a deep breath, trying to relax himself. It was just Phil.

And that thought scared him.

Even though he was looking at the Phil he fell for, two years ago, he couldn’t forget about all of the awful things he had done in the time between now, and when they broke off. He just wanted his Phil back.

“Dan, I wanted to talk to you about what happened between us,” Phil started. Dan sat on one of his leg, so he could face Phil better. He sighed, running a hand through his curly hair.

“It was a mistake, Phil. We were both drunk, and our bodies did things before our minds could inter-”

“I wasn’t really talking about that. I meant, um, two years ago.” Phil gave a small smile, and Dan’s face fell.

Dan didn’t really like talking about him and Phil a whole lot, he didn’t want to remember what he felt for Phil, so his solution was to just not say anything about it with people. He hated remembering how happy Phil made him, because it only made him feel responsible for all the shitty feelings people had when with Phil, even though he had no reason to feel that way.

“Oh.”

“Yeah. I just, I couldn’t stop thinking about you after I made the clearly wrong decision. You were always on my mind, everything I saw reminded me of you, and it was like anything just screamed ‘Dan Howell’ to me, and it honestly was destroying me.“But I couldn’t just go back to you, no, my fucking choice was to try and make you fucking jealous, and end up hurting you more, and I was hurting others because I just, it didn’t feel the same.

“Now don’t get me wrong, I loved the fact that you hated me. I have no idea why, it was just, I don’t know, I found it so hot that you didn’t like me, or some god awful reason, and it was like a challenge for me to win you back.” Dan’s frown was slowly turning into a smile.

Phil wasn’t even looking at him as he spoke, but his hands were moving all around, expressing so much passion into this conversation as he rambled. Dan couldn’t believe that this was all about him, Phil was talking from his heart, and he was falling for him all over again.

“And I thought I was over you, I really did, but when you started dating someone, it would make my skin crawl.” Phil laughing slightly when Dan did, and Dan moved a little closer to Phil, laying his arm across the back on the couch, as if he had his arm around Phil, without touching him. “I couldn’t even imagine somebody holding you under the stars like we used to do, because I was supposed to be the person doing that. I was supposed to be the person holding your hand in the car as Muse blasted through the speakers, I was supposed to be the person running my fingers through your hair when you were stressed, and couldn’t deal with anything else. I hated the fact that I had taken the connection we had for granted.”

Dan blushed, looking away from Phil. His words were magic, and he could tell Phil had thought about this a lot. Phil grabbed Dan’s hand, bringing his attention back to him. And Dan let Phil hold his hand, something that Phil thought he would never be able to do again. His slightly calloused fingers slotted perfectly into his, and he swore he felt sparks when they touched.

“And then we fucking slept together. We slept together, Dan! I barely remember anything, but I knew I had convinced you, I had kissed you, and I hate myself for it, because I didn’t have the guts to tell you how much I fucking like you sober. Because I do, god, I do. And I just, I’ve wanted you back since that summer. Since our summer had ended.” Phil had moved himself so they were almost on top of each other. Dan’s mind was racing, everything he had just said made him want to cry. Nobody had ever spoken about him that way, and the feeling was so indescribable.

They sat there, remaining eye contact with one another, hand in hand, processing the feeling just exchanged, and Dan did it. He launched forward, smashing his lips against Phil’s, nearly knocking him over. Phil responded immediately, letting go of Dan’s hand, and bringing them to his back. Dan brought his hands around Phil’s neck, and pushed him, so he was laying on top of Phil.

Both of them laughed, when they separated for air, bumping their noses together. Phil leaned back up, pressing their lips together. They had forgotten how amazing their kissing was, electricity was flowing through their bodies, sparks were flying, because fucking finally, they realized hoe meant for each other they were. Their lips moved together as if it were natural, like they were made to do this together.

“Are you sure it’s tonight?” Phil asked, he hugged his hoodie closer, as Dan practically dragged him to the pickup truck in Phil’s driveway. Dan rolled his eyes, throwing the blankets into the flatbed.

“I promise. Now c’mon, I don’t want to miss it.” Dan threw the keys at Phil, who caught them with surprise.

Today was the day Dan was supposed to throw the last party of sixth form. Everything was planned as well, Dan’s parents were out of town, again, Phil had helped spread the word, and they had a shit ton of food. But when Dan found out about the meteor shower happening, he dropped the party like a hot cake, and was dragging Phil out to the county at eleven p.m.

They were relaxing on the couch, with Dan’s head in Phil’s lap. Dan was paying attention to the anime on the telly, but Phil had his eyes on the iPhone game, while the other hand played with the curly locks of the boy he loved, when Dan suddenly sprang up, remembering the exact reason he had cancelled his party that night, why they were at Phil’s house instead of Dan’s, and dragged Phil out the front door, leaving the warmth behind, and entering the bite of the cold outdoors, even though it was June

Phil didn’t mind though. The only thing he cared about was the beautiful diamond that he had to hold in his arms tonight, because he finally collected all the pieces he had lost. It was nice to call Dan his after so long of a disconnection, he’d do anything for his Dan. And if that meant going out to sit in the middle of nowhere to see shooting stars that probably won’t be very visible, then he’d damn well do it. He’d do it just to see the little crinkles in Dan’s face when he smiled, the sparkle in his eyes when he’d finally see what he was looking for, or the way he’d get jumpy, and excited during times leading up to plans. It was Phil’s favorite.

As Phil drove, he realized that he lived for these moments with Dan, he couldn’t imagine his life without Dan by his side anymore. All his future plans revolved around him,(but Dan didn’t know that) Dan was the actual reason of his existence. Just the thought of not waking up in the morning and not having his usual ‘good morning, love’ text from Dan made his face fall.

Phil really didn’t know what he was missing out on during their two year gap.

But all that mattered now, was that he was heading out to go watch the stars with his favorite person on the planet, and he couldn’t have been more happy to say that.

//hello hi this is the end. I really tried w this one, but i didn’t like the end result as much as i hoped, sorry the quality went to shit after the first bit lol. tanks for reeading :) also the theme didnt really keep up but its whatever im sorryyyyyy

#phanfiction #phan fiction #phan fluff #phan smut #phan angst #dan and phil fanfiction #fanfiction #phan oneshot #metricanxietyfics

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chenziee · 7 years

Text

Do you have scars?

[AO3]

Words: 3678 Pairing: Ereri Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Mentions of Anxiety, Levi's endless patience, Established Relationship, implied dangerous lab habits, Fluff, really, the whole thing is just one big ball of mush, Mina is the best character to use as you need, and i'm sorry about that

Summary: Eren's exhausted at the beginning of the new semester. Levi isn't willing to give up his date. Compromises must be made.

There were only a few minutes of Eren’s last lecture of the day left and since Levi was planning take him out on a date after the hectic week, Levi headed for the parking lot to wait for his boyfriend. He settled on the hood of Eren’s car, laying his bag next to him, and pulled out his phone just as it vibrated with an incoming text. Levi clicked his tongue, swiping at the screen to read the message from Hanji.

>> hows life with new roommate?

Levi rolled his eyes and went to reply but apparently, Hanji wasn’t done as the device vibrated again. And again.

>> i bet you dont even miss me :( >> judging by how you never talk to me anymore :‘((( >> and by how dutifully you go wait for him as soon as you get out early for once ;);););););)

Levi blinked at the barrage of texts, frowning at the last one in particular. His eyes rose up to glower towards one of the windows on the second floor of the science building, which was oh-so-conveniently adjacent to the campus’ parking lot. And of course, as expected, there Hanji was, hanging from the window of her shared office, the hand holding her phone laxly waving at him as she grinned stupidly, dressed in her dirty lab coat and with protective glasses perched on her head, making her hair stick out in all directions.

Levi’s frown deepened before glaring back at his phone to fire a reply.

<< If you drop your goddamn phone, I’m not lending you money for a new one. What are you even doing in the office dressed like that; shouldn’t you be in the lab or some shit? << And yes, I don’t miss having to drag you to the shower so you actually wash. << And stop spying on people.

The distinct, if muffled by the distance, sound of her laughter carried over to his ears as she read each text and Levi, despite his better judgement, felt the corners of his moth twitch in amusement. It had only been a week since she moved out so Eren could move in in her place, but he had missed her. She was his best friend, as astonishing as that was to everyone. Levi himself especially.

He jumped as the vibrations started again, jolting him from his reverie.

>> dwdw im not erwin ;)

Levi smirked at the reminder of how Erwin, graceful, confident Ewin, dropped and broke his phones on a regular basis. It became a running joke in their friend group; they even got him an old Nokia 3310 for his birthday one year. To say Erwin wasn’t exactly amused would be understating “the displeasure he felt over such a treatment from his closest friends.” And to say said friends were stricken by shame afterwards would be a blatant lie. They laughed about it - and at Erwin’s face every time they did - even now, several years later.

>> im going back down in a few. Just giving the great gods of chemistry the time to work their magic :-* >> meanie :((( >> im not spying you just happened to walk into my field of vision :P

<< I’ll remind you of that once you drop it. << Right. Just don’t burn down the building. And I’m not mean, just feeling sympathetic towards Moblit. << Tell that to the freshman from last week.

Levi’s lips stretched wider and wider as he typed, looking up with each message to see Hanji’s expressions. From his distance, it wasn’t as clear as he’d like, but still he could make out the exaggerated frown on her face. Suddenly, her head shot up to send a glare at him, sticking out her tongue in the process, only succeeding in making Levi smirk in victory, before she started typing furiously again.

>> i swear you forget to shut off the burner ONE TIME... >:( >> ill let you know that moblit hasnt had a single complaint since i moved in -__- >> their own fault. they shouldn’t be making out in the lot :P

<< You left some sodium right next to it, if Armin is to believe. And he is. << That’s because he has the spine of a sine function. And you haven’t started stinking the place up yet.

>> hey at least i hadnt dropped it into the sink? :D :D :D >> excuse you mr clean freak???????? >:((( >> math nerd!!!!!! >> ammonia man!!!

Levi couldn’t stop the chuckle from escaping him. He went to type reply before Hanji could come up with more ridiculous insults just as the first students entering the parking lot caught his eye.

<< If there’s anyone smelling of rotten eggs, that you’d be you, shitty four eyes. << Anyway, gotta go. Eren will be here soon.

>> i was thinking more along the lines of chemical burns and destroying your mucous membrane o.O but disgusting smell works too i guess? :D :D >> k. say hi to my replacement for me :’( :D

Levi slowly looked up at her with a straight face, making sure to roll his eyes extra hard so she’d be able to see it. (He doubted she could, but he was sure she got the message anyway. At least her laughter said so.)

He watched, unimpressed, as Hanji abruptly stopped shaking with amusement and instead started fumbling to save her phone from the unfortunate fate Levi foretold it, when his ears perked up at the sound of Eren’s voice. It was faint, he couldn’t make out the words, only the light tone it carried, but he could pick it up anyway. And it filled him with equal parts warmth and dread. How scary was it that he could tell his voice apart from the maybe twenty, thirty others in the open space of the parking lot, from a distance in which all the noise just blended into one giant pain in the ass? Very scary.

Levi shook his head to chase the thoughts away. It shouldn’t be scary. It shouldn’t be but it was. And Levi was big, bad, scary man, who (accidentally) left children crying and lesser adults cowering in his wake. He shouldn’t be letting himself be turned into a trembling teenager experiencing his first love. Especially after literal years he’d been with the guy.

His hand twitched with the urge to slap himself and Levi had to stop himself from following up on it. Instead, he took a deep breath and ran his eyes over the small crowd to locate his boyfriend, which he succeeded at fast, the boy being taller than most. He was smiling and Levi’s own lips stretched a little as well at the sight. Fucking ray of sunshine that smile was. He was pretty sure if Hanji were next to him, she’d be making fun of his ‘love-struck puppy eyes’ as she liked to call it. In fact, he wouldn’t be surprised to find a text saying something about that later. Yet, in that moment, Levi couldn’t even bring himself to care.

Next to Eren was walking a small, reasonably cute girl, who was looking up at him with almost equally adoring expression as Levi was, blinking at him prettily and leaning too close to be considered friendly.

Noticing this for the first time while looking for the reason for Eren’s amusement, Levi felt torn between pride and the need to stake claim. Staying true to his nature, however, he stayed put, only watching carefully with a neutral expression while imagining what he would do if he were to do it. Pushing Eren against the car and flipping the girl and everyone else watching off being the most reasonable of his fantasies.

Levi watched calmly as the two came closer and closer, the girl lightly touching Eren’s arm. Levi’s eyes narrowed, glaring at her. As if sensing his menacing stare, she turned her head slightly, her eyes meeting Levi’s darkened ones, and suddenly she stopped in her tracks, as if burned. At the same time, Levi realized he knew the girl. She was one of his own students in the elective course he’d started teaching this semester as a part of his doctorate. ‘Well,’ he thought, ‘this will be interesting.’

Eren, noticing his companion wasn’t next to him, stopped as well, questioning, “What’s wrong?”

She looked at him blankly, before opening her mouth and immediately, Levi was glad they were already within earshot – if he strained his ears. “Eren, did you... do something?”

Eren blinked, a confused expression adorning his face and Levi had to bite his bottom lip not to laugh.

Seeing Eren was not comprehending, she gestured carefully in Levi’s general direction. Eren turned to look and Levi was graced with being able to watch his expression change with surprise and then melt into a soft, happy smile before a chuckle escaped him.

“Oh, that’s Levi. You know, the guy I said I just moved in with?” He shook his head and started walking again, nodding for her to follow.

She did a few hurried steps to catch up, lowering her voice significantly, obviously, trying to prevent Levi from hearing her. “Oh. I.. He teaches one of my electives; he’s scary, I thought... I don’t know...”

Now Eren laughed fully, smiling at Levi as he replied, “He is scary, isn’t he?”

Levi scowled at him as Eren winked in response. Levi felt a sudden urge to throw something at his boyfriend. Unfortunately, the only things at hand were either his phone or his books, neither of which he was willing to throw in fear of hurting either the thing or Eren. Or both.

“Yeah.” The girl (Levi couldn’t remember what her name was, couldn’t remember what the name of a single person he thought was) said in defeat. “Is he really your roommate? Isn’t he older than us?”

Levi almost rolled his eyes as Eren smiled. They were pretty much standing in front of him now and still talking as he wasn’t there. “I’m actually the same age as him. We used to be classmates. Also, not roommate,” he added with amusement as he leaned in to kiss Levi on the lips.

Levi took a great pleasure in giving the girl a challenging look as he returned the kiss gladly, even as he shoved Eren off immediately after. She looked crestfallen, her face turning bright red. Eren didn’t notice, still blissfully oblivious to her flirting. He only continued looking at Levi, questioning, “Hey, what are you doing here?”

“Finished early; thought I’d wait for you.”

“You were just being lazy and thought I could give you ride,” Eren said in a fake, hurt tone.

Levi smirked, teasing back, “Of course. Why else would I be sitting on your dirty ass car for the most dreadful ten minutes of my life?”

Eren scoffed. “Hey, I had the car washed just yesterday.”

Levi reached over to tug Eren closer with a cheeky glint to his eyes. “Only because you knew I’d kick your ass if I saw it filthy.”

Eren looked like he was going to protest but their conversation got interrupted by someone awkwardly clearing their throat. They simultaneously looked back to realize they had completely forgotten they weren’t alone.

Eren’s face turned pink while Levi only raised an eyebrow as the girl shuffled uncomfortably.

“Uhm, right,” Eren mumbled, scratching his head sheepishly. “Mina, this is Levi. Levi, Mina. Shit, you already knew that. Right. Sorry.”

Ah, so her name was Mina. Levi was sure this time he’d remember it for maybe 10 seconds longer.

Eren cleared his throat, shaking the awkward off of himself before he turned back at Levi. “Anyway, I promised Mina a ride. Do you mind if we drop her off?”

Levi glanced at Mina, who now looked positively horrified. “No, it’s okay!” she squeaked hurriedly, shaking her head. “Your... boyfriend...” she still looked like she didn’t really believe it. Levi wasn’t sure whether that was because of the gay thing or the teacher thing but he felt like that didn’t really matter. He was immensely enjoying making her uncomfortable either way. “Levi is here and I don’t want to intrude.”

Eren frowned. “No, I promised. It’s really okay, it’s not like you live that far.”

“But-“

Levi rolled his eyes, saying in a tone that refused arguments, “Get inside, brat.”

Eren looked at Mina who was left gaping and shrugged, “You heard the nice man.” Levi slapped his hip and Eren laughed, finally fishing out his keys to unlock his car. But Levi frowned slightly at the sound of his giggle. It didn’t sound right. He couldn’t put his finger on it; it just didn’t sound so... carefree as it usually did. Strained. He tried to shake the feeling off but before Eren left his side to walk to the driver’s side of the car, he briefly squeezed his knee, almost desperately, and Levi’s stomach sank.

Eren, as if nothing happened, turned towards Mina, telling her to sit wherever. She still hesitated, glancing carefully at Levi, but after the man glared at her she finally moved, probably scared of what he’d do to her if she didn’t comply, and she all but jumped inside the car, settling in the seat behind the driver.

Levi shot Eren one last look, meeting his gaze briefly as Eren looked at him questioningly, silently asking what was wrong. ‘You tell me,’ Levi thought. Knew better than to question him now, however, so he took a deep breath and slid off the hood, walking to the passenger’s side. “By the way, Hanji says hi,” he mentioned conversationally instead.

Eren paused in opening his door as his eyebrows shot up. “You saw her? She wasn’t in the lab for once? Every time I go see her, she’s not in the office.”

“I wouldn’t say I saw her but...” Levi trailed off, nodding towards the upper floors of the neighboring building before sliding into the passenger seat.

Eren looked up to where he knew Hanji’s group’s window was, squinting at the curtains someone was obviously using to hide behind. He shook his head, finally getting in himself. “Doesn’t she realize we can totally see her?” Eren wondered out loud, cocking his head to the side and Levi chuckled.

“Honestly, sometimes I really can’t tell what she does and doesn’t realize.”

Eren just hummed and turned the key in the ignition, rolling out of the parking spot.

The drive to Mina’s place was silent save for her timid instructions and Eren’s affirmatives. Levi took the time to observe the other man, but really, it scared him how much he didn’t even have to try to see it. Eren’s driving was erratic, like he was struggling to stay focused. A far cry from his normal calm and relaxed style. He was going too fast before he caught himself speeding, his grip on the steering wheel was too much, making him take the turns sharper than needed be. He had trouble changing gears once or twice, not pushing the stick shift far enough. It was obvious the people in the car with him were the only thing keeping the cries of frustration in. Every movement he made sent a sharp pain through Levi’s gut.

He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t say anything with the girl still there. So he did the only thing he could in that situation, even if he hated it. He waited. Levi closed his eyes briefly and took a deep breath, starting to gnaw on his lower lip. He could only hope Eren wouldn’t kill them in this state before they got to be alone.

Mina’s “That’s my house; you can drop me off here” could not have come sooner in Levi’s opinion. He turned back to look at the girl as Eren pulled over but really, it was just so he could watch Eren. As soon as the car was in park, Eren closed his eyes for a moment, and to Levi it looked like he was praying. Maybe he was.

When he opened his eyes again, it was to give Mina a winning smile as she thanked them for the ride. Levi wanted to cringe at how fake it looked but Mina apparently didn’t notice, judging by how she smiled in return. Then again, Eren was an excellent actor and even Levi needed to be slapped in the face with reality before he started seeing the cracks more clearly.

As soon as goodbyes were said and Mina turned away, Levi carefully put a comforting hand on Eren’s thigh. “Do you want me to drive?”

He could feel Eren tense up and the sound of the engine rang loudly in silence of the car. Levi could see the inner battle raging inside the other as neither of them moved. Finally, Eren gulped before opening his mouth to utter a single word, so quietly Levi almost didn’t hear. “Please.”

Levi squeezed his thigh in reassurance. “Of course.” When Eren didn’t make any move to get out of the car, Levi continued softly. “We can switch now?”

At that Eren resolutely shook his head and immediately pulled away from the drive way of Mina’s house. Levi frowned in confusion and Eren gulped again before elaborating, “Not here. Mina would see.”

Levi blinked. He didn’t see Eren’s point. So what if she sees? There’s a million explanations why they might want to switch. Wisely, Levi didn’t voice his opinion. He had long since learned not to question Eren’s many irrational fears and now mostly let his boyfriend to lead the way, going with what he was comfortable with and just continued throwing assurances and compliments at him. Nothing good ever came from trying to reason with him over what people might or might not think if he, for example, went alone to eat somewhere. Only screams and tears and accusations of ‘you don’t understand what it’s like to live like this!’ Four attempts were more than enough for Levi to understand he should never oppose or question Eren and his wild fantasies.

Eren turned the corner and after confirming there was nobody walking down the street, he stopped again and jerkily got out. Levi followed, circling the car at a slower pace than Eren was. As they passed each other, he tried to grab Eren’s hand briefly but as soon as he made contact, Eren’s whole boy pulled away from him. Levi wasn’t even surprised. It was just sad resignation weighing down on him.

As soon as he was sitting again in the passenger seat Eren kicked off his shoes and pulled them up against his chest. Levi shot him a concerned look before putting the car in gear again, taking off. He only spoke up once they were back on the main street. “Did something happen? Or are you just tired?” he asked carefully, choosing his words to sound as not accusing as he could go while still getting to the point.

He heard Eren sigh sharply, as if he was about to snap back at him, but then he paused and suddenly Levi watched the tension leave his body as Eren sagged in his seat, his head dropping against his knees. It took him a while to gather enough strength to mumble an answer, “Just tired. Exhausted. I don’t know why, it’s not like they want too much from us yet.”

Levi shook his head, stopping at a red light. “It’s normal. School just started, it will take a while to get back into the rhythm of things,” he said, looking at Eren with a sure look in his eyes.

Eren sighed closing his eyes. “I know. But it seems like it’s never been this bad before.”

“Well,” Levi started, not sure if his next words were a good idea just as the light turned green again. “You didn’t go to therapy every week before. That’s fucking exhausting even without school.”

Eren made a face but didn’t comment, instead looking out of the window. Levi took it as a small victory and let out a quiet sigh of relief.

They were silent for a bit before Eren spoke up, changing the subject. “Where are we going anyway?”

Levi shrugged as he answered, “I actually wanted to take you out on a date.”

Eren looked back at him, a hesitant look in his eyes, biting on his lower lip. Obviously he wasn’t in the mood for anything but sitting back and ignoring the world. “Where?” he asked instead of outright saying no and Levi was glad for it. He smiled, blindly reaching out to touch Eren in reassurance.

“I was planning dinner, but seeing you now, I’m thinking more a dumb movie and a drive. What do you say?”

From the corner of his eye he could see the warm smile that spread on Eren’s lips and in turn, warmth spread through Levi’s chest at the knowledge he’d made that smile appear there.

“I fucking love you,” Eren said with certainty, not a hint of hesitation in either his voice or his expression. “Do we have a blanket, and can we stop by Starbucks?”

“Love you, too, Sunshine.” Levi said, in return, smiling. Then he cocked his head to the side in thought. “Not sure about the blanket but if there isn’t one in the trunk, it’s not like we can’t buy one. And when have I ever said no to Starbucks?”

“Well, last winter you threatened to burn the mall down if we went inside,” Eren reminded with a raised eyebrow.

Levi rolled his eyes in response. “That was because that would be the fourth time that day and there’s only so much gingerbread I can take before I’m sick of it.”

“Nobody said you had to get a gingerbread latte again.”

“You do not go into a Starbucks in the middle of winter and not get a gingerbread latte. Besides, even if I didn’t, you and Hanji would get it and then the smell would be all around me anyway.”

Eren laughed, leaning over to press a kiss to Levi’s cheek. “Thank you.”

Levi smiled, happy Eren was feeling better. “You’re welcome, brat.”

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#katie pretends to fic #snk #ereri #eren #levi #oneshot #series #and the saga of Eren-can't-catch-a-break-because-I-keep-projecting continues #anxiety #depression #self-harm #(in other parts of the series but just in case)#don't throw sodium into water #or let it catch on fire if you're not prepared for it #I'm not kidding #one angel

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norman-reedus-gossip · 8 years

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– mod– I’ll add to the comments as usual. Anon: The DM ran photos of DK in the exact same outfit with the exact same shopping bags iSaturday – walking alone. Check it out. No way she wore the identical outfit and had the same bags yesterday. The story conveniently tags them as yesterday when it was known N was back in NYC. The “getaway” makes for a much better story than 2 friends hanging out like he’s done with several female friends in the past few weeks (Ira, Jarah, Liz) – and been photographed with them too. These pics were set up.

Anon: what is everyone talking about with norman and what did this DK woman do? i’m late and curious because i really don’t want to find a way to dislike norman

Anon: grooooooooossssssssssssss. well if the other rumours are true, she wants a baby w him.

Normansweetpie: I honestly am surprised about Norman and Diane. And to the person that said Norman is a horrible person, you’re wrong. Norman liked Diane and I believe that Norman can do whatever he wants to do with his life. If Norman wants to date Diane, that’s fine.

Anon: So he is w a disgusting famewhoere. completely changes the way i see him. bye bye norman, no longer your fan (and im a lesbian, so this isn’t butthurt shit here)

Anon: If this is true, I don’t want to go to WSC London now. I don’t feel like meeting him if he has been lying to us this whole time.

Anon: Norman has to address this. He’s getting so much hate. I hope he shuts it down. Please Norman say it’s not true.

Anon: I can’t believe he lied to us. If this really is true, then everything he says is bullshit.

Anon: Mod, I am at a loss how this whole narrative in the NR fandom went from “DK is vile, they’re not friends ” to “DK is vile they’re definitely not dating cuz NR is sweet and great” to “They’re dating! They’re both vile!”…. Like, where is this coming from? Norman’s own fans would rather believe he’s some sort of vile scumbag than the alternative that maybe, just maybe 1) NR and DK are both decent people? And 2) none of us knows the private details of when/how they got together?

Anon: Mod in your opinion do you think he would have done that? He did things that made us believe he was single so do you think he was really lying to us the whole time? I want to cry if he was. I thought he was different. Do you think there’s a chance that he is just friends with her?

Anon: Just friends my ass. They’ve been together off and on for over a year. Time for fans to take off the delusional glasses and accept it. He’s a good ACTOR, isn’t he?

Anon: II thought that if this happened I would feel angry and sad and disappointed. But I feel relaxed and calm and I wish Norman finally have found the woman that will stay with him till the end. I feel really happy for him.

Anon: I hope that Norman realizes that Diane probably called the paparazzi and set that whole thing up so they would finally be outed as a couple. She is a real piece of work.

Anon: A few choice words like unwise, irresponsible, childish, selfish, asinine, and dishonest, as well as many more like them are all coming to mind right now.

Anon: I know it’s his life but I think he needs to say or do something for his fans now. Just like when he shut down the EK rumor. Btw, TMZ also reported that as official too, if I recall and that was never true either. Please say something about the truth of this, Norman

Anon: In the midst of this DK stuff, someone on Facebook who works at LaGuardia airport says she talked to Norman at work today. Do you know if he’s heading somewhere?

Anon: What had Diane done and why does everyone hate her?

Anon: I am an extremely disappointed… I was gonna say fan, but I can no longer even bring myself to write that much less say it. What an effing nightmare. Seriously, I’m not sure if Norman could make a more foolish decision.

Anon: I want to be clear this is not a DK hate (or even dislike) post. I have to say I find it a bit ironic of NR fans blaming the trash mags for NR not being able to “live his personal life”. If I’m not mistaken didn’t the pap pics originate in daily mail? Doesn’t DK and her people have a deal with them and they set up pics all the time? So I’m assuming DK or both of them are courting this attention, yes? I think we need PR wife again, lol.

Anon: Ok wait, it doesn’t have to mean they are together. She could have been hanging with him like he does with a lot of his female friends. And I stil think the pics are only one day. Not a “weekend getaway” I really hope he says something now, though. This back and forth is too much. I pray it’s friendship and nothing more because I don’t want to have to stop supporting him. Say something Norman.

Anon:  I cannot think of a single nice thing to say about Norman right now and I’m not sure I will ever be able to again. Anon: Dont you think that this is kinda ridicilous , this whole dk / nr is going on since 2015 , if they were together , they would already admit that and dont forget joshua and diane broke up a long time ago , so nr and her had a long time chance to admit it 🙄(sorry my english is not very good )  

Susa206: Everybody should calm down! In my opinion it´s obviously, that they are a couple. I think we don´t have the right to judge about his or her life! Nobody knows what really happened between DK and her former boyfriend….. I never liked her … but the most important thing, is that he is happy…. and we have to accept his choice…. ( sorry again for my bad english)

Anon: So are we to believe they have been so careful to not be seen out together in more than a year and now they are caught in his parking garage? Set up

Anon: she is just so unlikeable. ive read her interviews and seen her interviews. she is not likeable. this is bad new for his brand, but its his life. i know i won’t tune into anything he does if she is accompanying him or being mentioned. i know celebs are humans, but i also consider them brands that i choose to consume. ive no interest in using my money & attention to help her brand, and won’t consume anything she is attached to. sorry normski, not interested if you come w her as an add on

Anon: But hold on remember when he was photographed with Elsa Hosk? and they aren’t together. I know because of DK, it’s strange but I don’t think it proves it yet. Until Norman comes out and says it.

Anon: Mod , i would like to help you a bit. I also dont believe that they are together , in fact i do believe Diane might have a crush on Norman (who not) and im sure Norman knows that , but it seems he is enjoying his single life and told her that , and still wants to hang out as friends with her , because why not? Maybe they were out having dinner , maybe he or she made dinner at their homes! 😊( just what i think about the whole dk/n thing)

Anon: this norman stuff with TMZ, is utter bullshit. they are probably just friends and so what if they are dating, they should be happy that they are happy.

Anon: Mod , it seems you doubt about if they are friends or not ….

Anon: Mod, do you think they really are together or do you think the friends theory is possible? I just want to cry if it’s true. It’s not that he’s with someone but that it could be her! I hate her. She is nothing like him she is so full of herself and now he looks like a cheater and a liar. I didn’t think he was anything like that but now he looks like such a fake person. Not who he said he was to his fans. I’m so sad. What do you think Mod??

Anon: If them unloading a car together is the smoking gun on their relationship… damn! I am in a relationship with a bunch of cab drivers! Dammit… and here I am thinking I’m single!  

Rebellacycle: I’m sorry I’m laughing at a lot of this this man can’t be any where near a woman or his female fan loose their shit “ oh he’s with her no ” if he is dating her at least she is close to his age if she slept with him I’d hi- five her good for you Diane 😂🤣💪🏹 let him live his life I don’t know her we really as fans don’t know the both of them it’s his and her business if they are dating or not what ever and I would love to be at his next convention to see if these “ fans ” ask him about it

Anon: Sorry!! I meant good luck to HIM. I want the man to be happt but she is just YUCK. My bad. You always rule. I’m going to drink whiskey til I puke this weekend. Why do I care? I have no clue but am just disappointed.

Anon: Can someone post the pics of DK that are supposedly from Saturday, please. Also, are those pics on tmz from yesterday or Thursday. I’m confused!

Anon: Sooooooo are they together or were they just carpooling to like Whole Foods and Best Buy or something?

Anon: I’m done with NR. Cannot support this disgraceful behaviour whatsoever. More to the point how can he be okay with a supposed partner calling the paps on them? Entire thing is a mess. he is not who he pretends he was.

Anon: NR and DK kept their relationship hidden this long because they knew people would never forget about how their relationship got started (cheating) and they knew if they went public they would be one of the most hated couples in Hollywood. I seriously want to throw up she is such a horrid human being. N has developed really shit taste in women.

Anon: Here it goes. Seems like we finally got our proof and Norman and DK came out and made it public finally. They are together. You can’t tell me she’s just a friend cruising around with him and unloading his car. Not after all. I’m so disgusted, I almost vomited. I can’t believe Norman fell for this woman. I’m SO SO disappointed and disgusted! 😞

Anon: Those two horrible people deserve each other. And they deserve every ounce of hate that they get as long as they are together.

Anon: Isn’t there a simple way to clear it up? One or both of their reps will confirm or deny the rumors, right? NR had to do that with the EK thing. Plus I think isn’t DK going to LA for Oscar weekend stuff? If she gives any interviews I’m sure they’d ask about this, right?

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swearronchanel · 8 years

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and my commentary continues: series 6, episode 2 (if this is now a thing idk what to title it)

You asked for it, my first class isn’t until noon tomorrow so I can sleep in & so, I complied Also the SAG awards finished at like 10pm so even after doing my night routine it’s still early haha here it goes …

- Oh shit I forgot color - ah I really like the new intro - Penny’s outfit is so cute - “Walk don’t run” stfu Sister Ursula this isn’t elementary school - “Have you lost your marbles bubsy” haha that’s cute - UGH I WANNA FIGHT THIS NUN - LET JULIENNE ARRANGE THE DAMN FLOWERS - This is when sister Ursula presses sister Monica Joan about the bon bons lol - “Unlike your sisters” guessing u don’t think u count - You’re damn right - Sister MJ sly af 😏 wish she was my grandma - Aw penny it’s ok sweetie all will be well - AlRight so where is St Cuthberts, is it closer than the London? Idk just wondering - I don’t care that much tbh - Damn this man gonna go blind how sad - I like knowing what happens when I’m watching bc I can’t take so much I get anxious - But are we not going to mention Patsy’s wig anymore? It’s still ugly, lucky emerald is beautiful anyway - - Ugh my bbys are still so hurt about the thalidomide 💔💔 - IT WAS NOT EITHER OF YOUR FAULTS - YES IT IS A MIRACLE PATRICK, YOU SHOULD’VE MENTIONED IT LAST WEEK but it’s all good - HE’S TOUCHING HER STOMACH AH - AND THEY KISSED Lmaoo I bet this will break Tumblr - UgH SUCH A SWEET MOMENT TO MELT MY COLD HEART - Jk this show has made me such an emotional mess, like I rarely ever used to cry or anything - But it could also be because of university diminishing my sanity - “We should really start telling people” - YEA PLS GIVE US A CUTE SCENE TELLING EVERYONE @ NONNATUS - - Buttt, I’m gonna guess it’s either going to be implied that they told them off screen or they won’t find out till she starts bleeding mid inspection ?? idk I’m just guessing, don’t come at me lmaoo - Patrick’s smirk “he’ll certainly understand” 😂😂 - SHELAGH’S CRINGING FACE I LOVE IT - YOU KNOW IM HERE FOR ALL CRINGEY EXPRESSIONS - Plus that’s my bby - - PHYLLIS SAW PATS AND DELIA - SHE KNOWS & IM GLAD IT WAS HER TO FIRST FIND OUT - - alright so let me be annoying real quick - From that clip from the casebook Valerie is problematic/lowkey racist & no estoy aquí para eso PERO I like her in the moment? - One, her outfit is cute - & B, she gets along well with my shelagh and seems nice.. I’m not gonna forget her comment though lol, so I’m going to stay neutral for now - - Ok the Marsh baby is born next - Lol sorry I love when sister Winifred is being cringey or funny but this was just kinda boring but I know it’ll get better later in the episode - BUT SERIOUSLY I WANNA KNOW SISTER WINIFRED’S REAL NAME - Idk why that was capitalized I don’t feel that strongly but I’m very curious !¡! - - Shelagh being all cute and cheeky giving those vaccinations - Penny is so sweet - - Alright this is so irrelevant but still, Shelagh is outside.. so Why would she throw up in a napkin in her hand? lol, all that open space 😭😂 idk I really hate throwing up and will not let my self throw up. Not even vlad can make me😷 - SHIT THAT EXPLOSION THO - what were they doing exactly? - like a bitch over here a lil confused :/ - MY LIL SUPERHERO SPRINGING TO ACTION YES BBY - shit George’s blind for good now it’s sad - and arthur’s gonna die damn - - look at disheveled Shelagh so damn pretty but I wonder when she got that cut lol - Lmaoo @ Valerie, so she knows the Nonnatuns - - Damn I’m only 17 mins in why do I talk so much shit to myself - Sister MJ sneaking that bread during sister Ursula’s prayer is me 😂 - I swear though if Sister Ursula tries to get rid of Sister MJ I will fight - My eyes roll every time this woman is on my screen - Phyllis chewing angrily is also me - “Travel visas there have been canceled” shit pats it’s too relevant right now - “I’m trifle deaf these days” PHYLLIS U ARE A GEM - Penny wins best dressed patient - - Patrick worrying is precious - SHELAGH TRYING TO HINT WHILE SMILING IS SO FUNNY BUT WHY - Lmao why are they acting like Tim is not literally right there? - Also this boy is 15 why is he not ever with friends - Of course he knew, he’s always around and isn’t dumb at all. He basically grew up around pregnant ladies tbh - “.. Good I don’t want to know any other details” lmao 😂 - I knew he’d be pleased but I lowkey wanted him not to upset or annoyed so he could have a good little story line - It’s not realistic that this 15 year old is so pleasant with his parents all the time - Like I was an angsty fright @ 15 - lol I’m acting like I’m old, I’m going to be 19 & I’m still like that^ with my parents a lot of the time - - Why do British people call bandaids “plasters”? Hm. I just think of plaster of Paris for like walls or whatever it’s used for - “I’m a slow healer” lol Shelagh is so precious - “If the baby’s a girl I’m moving out” I think it’ll be a boy. Actually Idk forget I said that - Don’t be nervous bby, speak up you got this - “That’s my girl” yes Patrick that’s our girl protect her at all freaking cost 😭 - I’ve gotten so far without saying “fuck” I’m proud - - “This is the dark before the dawn, but there is always a dawn” thanks sister I needed that - “I’ve committed a crime"😭😭 - I love sister MJ - also not gonna lie I cried a little the first time watching this - - Some mothers of color in the community centre makes me happy - Who’s the model though? 😏 - Someone find him & tag me - Ugh here comes sister “I ruin everything” - Honestly when is sister Julienne just gonna come out and say “you gotta go”? - No that’s not the way you do things - fuck yea sister J - “We must simply sit it out and wait for Churchill” - I HOPE THATS TRIXIE - BUT also I really want Sister Julienne to be the one who saves the day - Lol yea Babs your wardrobe should step it up but it’s okay - - Shelagh don’t be nervous you’re gonna kill it - Does sister Ursula even do anything? She doesn’t see patients does she? Nah she just makes everyone angry - Get up outta here - Lol I’m so Brooklyn for that - “Mrs Turner you look nice” - UM YES, MY BBY, her new dresses & coats slay - She finally took a break from the damn cardigans & I love it. Not that there’s anything wrong with cardigans but you catch my drift - Nah for real I wanted a fabulous wardrobe for Shelagh bc times are changing & Laura Main is literally gorgeous so she needs pretty outfits & got it I did - so here for it, now we wait for another pair of trousers. lets get it 1962 - this first dress had such jackie kennedy vibes, love it - - “Consequences be DAMMED” YES PATS - Phyllis and Sister J are proud, I really want one of them to press Sister Ursula - Look @ Delia actually being a nurse! - ah penny 💔 - - Shelagh’s so nervous at first but then is like YOU KNOW WHAT ASSHAT JUDGE - “Where is nurse Mount?” , “where she is needed” YES SISTER JULIENNE - love the blue coat Shelagh - “I’m not ill, I’m just tired and angry” same - Don’t cry bby - “Our best is worthless bc it won’t change anything” ugh crush my heart, especially that little hug. I need to hug them all - lol who invited Tom to the hospital - he’s so handsome though so it’s ok - TELL THEM, STAND UP - “We need to fight” yes ! - I was worried penny’s baby wouldn’t live - C'mon Pats be pc - okay patsy opening up, crushes my heart she’s so closed off but I feel - Here comes the wicked bitch of the east [end] - Whoops can I call a fictitious nun a bitch - YES PATS YES DONT TAKE HER SHIT - Aw patsy, you two will okay, I mean look sister Bernadette came back as Shelagh because of letters so you never know - - Shelagh’s baby blue outfit >> - she needs to go out in public more with her hair down and slay everyone’s life - “Not today.” Yes Delia - “You did it Mrs Turner, you made em listen!” - Yes tf she did. I’m so proud - the set makeup artist did a crazy good job with the burns - “We never really out grow our parents, we just think we do” aw I should call my mum and dad - mm maybe later it’s midnight lmao - DELIA SAID I LOVE U - I FEEL LIKE NO IMPORTANT COUPLE on here HAS SAID “I LOVE YOU” to each other ?? - They almost kissed aw - Fred just break the door damn - Reminds me a little of when Jenny left - Aw the Marsh fam - Phyllis you are gold - Phyllis is still learning Spanish, please give her an opportunity to use it! - the only Spanish speaking mother was conchita, wasn’t that the first episode ever? lets get another one - Anyway, this was so sad. - “The pain it costs to love..” PHYLLIS I LOVE You. You deserve everything good - Aw all the other mothers with penny! - Alright Lets hear it Vanessa - Aw Delia Bonus: preview for next week - my other bby Trixie is back !! - hope she loses her shit when she realizes sister Ursula is ruining everything + patsy/sister mary cynthia are gone - My bby Shelagh looks so pretty!💕 - BUT I KNOW NO ONE IS SHUTTING DOWN ANYTHING - I will not have it - Phyllis spilling the ever so obvious and boiling tea, sister Ursula is UNFIT - Pls let Sister Julienne say something crazy to her before she goes - Why is babs crying?? - ugh of course that’s the most of a preview we get - Nothing bad will happen to my bbys I won’t have it. Protect them at all costs or I’ll spontaneously combust - Jk but I might flip my shit or throw my laptop - But for real for Shelagh to miscarry 3 episodes in would be a waste of a storyline - Plus it is a drama, we’ll be shook for a while, then we’ll cry, we’ll laugh & then Vanessa Redgrave says something profound and we go on with the week - The End 🙃🙃 - If you read this far, you’re a champ - I did this for u all

#call the midwife #i'm a clown #series 6 #lets get it 1962 #protect my bbys at all costs though #my commentaries™

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