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totowlff · 1 year

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ohne leuchtturm

➝ request: could you write something angsty where the reader and toto had a previous relationship but broke up/divorced due to him never being home and then one night [...] they encounter each other at a bar in her hometown

➝ word count: 2,3k

➝ warnings: alcohol consumption, angst and sad toto

➝ author’s note: well, is like miley says, "nothing breaks like a heart".

Sitting alone in a corner of the Esterházykeller, you were sipping a pint of beer without much interest. You probably looked ridiculous, being alone at a bar, but you didn’t care. Your mind was not with you as you sat inside that stuffy pub in the heart of Vienna.

You were thinking of the night you first visited that bar, so many years ago.

It was one of those hot and rainy summers in the city, perfect for staying at home, reading a book, or cooking yourself dinner. It was your favorite way to get your mind off of the constant grind of numbers and figures you dealt with at your day job.

However, some colleagues convinced you to go out for a night instead of spending another quiet evening at home. They’d picked one of the oldest bars in the city, and you decided that it wouldn’t hurt to get out for the night.

"How naive", you thought to yourself, taking a sip of beer.

You remember it being very warm outside that night, years ago, and the rain had made it humid, and it was even warmer in the crowded bar.The fans scattered across the ceiling of the establishment did little to cool the place. Loud conversation mingled with laughter and the sound of mugs clinking and cutlery scraping on plates. As you followed Fritz and Lena around the bar, you started to wonder if that was a good idea, especially after someone that almost knocked you over with their elbow, sloshing the mug of beer you had in your hand.

You caught yourself and turned around, catching sight of the tall man that was now responsible for the front of your blouse being soaked with icy liquid. Irritated, you were about to say something unkind to him when your eyes met his. As he apologized, you felt like the lively pub around you had gone silent, and all you could hear was the sound of your heart beating in your chest.

— Would you like another beer?

You sighed as your attention turned back to the present. Ten years later, you were sitting in the same bar, with the same beer, and the same tall man standing in front of you.

— Toto?

— Good evening, Y/N — he said, with a small smile.

— What are you doing here? — you asked, dryly. You weren’t sure you actually cared.

— I'm visiting the children — he replied, hesitating for a few seconds — Well, visiting Rosi. She's in university now.

— Studying Biotechnology, right?

— Yes. And English literature.

You smiled.

— What about Ben?

— He’s in California, studying business.

— Is he preparing to be your successor?

He laughed.

— Definitely not, and you know that.

Of course you did.

After your first disastrous interaction, Toto made sure to make up for the embarrassment he’d caused you by ordering your another pint of beer, as well as a ride back to your flat. The initial kindness turned into an exchange of phone numbers. A few phone calls later, you met up with him again, in the exact same bar.

Before you realized it, you’d fallen completely in love with his wide smile, his deep voice, and his brown eyes, especially the way they showed so much emotion. Toto was the one, the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.

Your companion. Your partner. Your love.

Until he wasn't anymore.

— How are you? — he asked, sitting down in the seat across the booth from you.

— I'm fine — you murmured, looking down at your beer mug.

— Still working at the bank?

— Yes, still at the bank. And you, still flying around?

Toto smiled sadly.

— Yes, still flying around.

You weren’t sure what to say. Looking down at your half-empty mug of beer, an ache came to your chest. “Why would I expect him to have changed?”, you thought, pursing your lips.

You weren’t some naive little girl. You knew from the time you first met him that Toto was a busy man with a demanding job that entailed more days traveling than not, flying all around the world, working on the project that he’d said was “the most important of my life”. You accepted it initially, without hesitation, choosing to accompany him, traveling with the team to races around the world. It was worth it for you to give him your support, and more importantly, your love.

However, at some point, how you felt about the F1 circus changed, and how you felt about his team changed. You no longer felt like they were a family that had taken you in, but your competition for the attention of the man you loved, and dedicated so much to.

It was a fight that you knew you were going to lose, but you insisted on fighting anyway.

— Did you expect another answer? — Toto asked quietly, making you look up at him.

— Honestly? — you shot back, your eyes returning to the whitish foam in the mug — No.

You’d never been good at lying.

— I thought you’d have gotten better at lying since we broke up, Y/N.

— I'm not lying.

— Yes you are. I know this because you never look me in the eye when you lie to me.

— It’s very presumptuous of you to assume that you know whether I’m lying or not, Torger — you replied, your voice filled with more acid than you’d intended. However, that only made Toto smile.

— You really haven't changed at all, Y/N — he muttered, before signaling to a passing waiter and ordering two more pints of beer.

An uncomfortable silence stretched between you. As much as the bar was crowded and stuffy, you felt an uncomfortable shiver run through your body. You felt transparent, like Toto could read you like a book that he casually picked off of a shelf after years of being placed there. You felt like, even years later, he knew every word and every paragraph of you.

When the waiter brought out the fresh glasses of beer, Toto thanked him before taking a long sip. As he set his mug down, he had a little foam on his upper lips, which made you smile.

— You’ve got something there — you muttered, pointing to your mouth.

— Oh yeah — he said, wiping his mouth — Thanks. At least now you can say that you've seen me with a mustache.

— A rare sight, considering you're incapable of growing a beard.

— I'm not incapable, I just don't like it — Toto answered — And you know that.

— I think you should try it again. It could make you look more handsome.

He smirked.

— You mean you still think I'm handsome?

— If I didn't, I wouldn't have stayed with you for six years, would I?

— You could have stayed with me for my personality.

— No — you said, taking a sip of beer.

— Or my performance in bed — he said quietly, a smirk on his lips.

You rolled your eyes, taking another sip. You could deny it, but it was pointless, especially when Toto knew you so well. You had stayed with him for his handsome features, and for his kind, thoughtful personality, but it was the way he made you feel in bed that made you stay long after your relationship had become torture.

Toto knew your body like no one else. He knew how and where to touch you, to kiss you, to make you feel like you’d gone to heaven. He knew what every little sound, every whisper and gasp meant from you, he knew all of your little quirks. He always knew exactly when you were about to climax, because of the way you would dig your nails into his shoulder, and he used this knowledge to incredible effect.

And then, he became hell.

There was more silence at the table, the two of you staring at each other, searching for the right words for that moment.

— You still haven't told me the truth.

— About what?

— If you expected me to give another answer about my work.

You sighed.

— Yes, Toto, I expected another answer.

— Did you expect me to step away from Mercedes?

— I was hoping you realized you could be — you hesitated, the word stuck in your throat. You wanted to say, you needed to say it. But after four years, it no longer made sense. He had moved on, just as you had moved on. However, you couldn't help but look back.

— Could be what?

— Using your time better — you finally said, looking back down at your mug, which was already nearly empty. Toto smiled sadly at you again.

— You still think Mercedes is a waste of time, don't you? — he asked.

— I just wish you could have been content with sticking to one role — you shot back.

— You know that…

— I know, I know, that you were never one to sit in an office — you interrupted — I know. I was your partner for six years and I know how restless you get. But as much as I admire that about you, I abhor it, because that's precisely what robs people of you when they need you.

— Do you think the team takes me away from other people?

— No. You do it yourself — you replied emphatically.

Toto looked at his mug thoughtfully. The conversation had veered into dangerous territory for both of you. It had been painful to realize after a long time that you always put your relationship with Toto first, but you weren’t his priority. Even years after the painful end of your relationship, you still felt like it was a wound that was open and bleeding.

After all, you still loved him.

You loved his dimple-framed smile, his deep brown eyes, and his unkempt hair. You loved his voice, the way his accent danced with his words, and you loved his laugh. You loved his bad jokes, his witty observations and his far-fetched ideas.

You loved him.

— Can I ask you something? — he murmured, his eyes still fixed on the mug.

— Yeah?

— Would you be able to ever forgive me, Y/N? — Toto said, raising his eyes to look into yours

— For what?

— For taking myself away from you?

You felt your heart pounding again.

You had waited a long time for those words, almost an eternity. But now, you got no satisfaction out of hearing it — it only made you more sad.

— I don't think apologizing to me is the way to go.

— Isn't an apology what you wanted to hear, Y/N? — he asked.

— Maybe, but what's the point now? — you said, feeling your throat tighten.

— But, I want to fix things...

— You're four years late, Torger — you said, cutting him off. You felt your eyes start to sting at the realization that it was too little, too late. The conversation you were having with him, calm and civil as it was, needed to have taken place on the warm summer night that your relationship imploded, but neither of you were ready to have this conversation back then, or at any time in the last four years. You weren’t sure you were ready now.

— Y/N…

— We should have sat down a long time ago and defined what we wanted from each other, and from our relationship. We should have been more mature and more rational instead of yelling at each other over everything. But, if you ask me, I'm sure even if we had talked, it would have ended in the same way — you said, trying to keep your voice even as you held back the tears threatening to fall from your eyes. You didn't want to cry, but at the same time, it was like your heart was begging you to let out all the pain you've been carrying since the day you left Toto's apartment, never to return.

He stared at you for long seconds, before drinking what was left of beer in the mug.

— We would have been married if we'd talked.

— I couldn’t marry someone who is already married to their work — you snapped.

— It’s not too late for a divorce…

You laughed.

— You would never give up the team, Toto.

— For you, I would — he said, making your stomach churn — For you, I'd give up the team, all of the travel, the busy schedule. I would give up the houses in England, Switzerland, and Monaco. I’d go back on my decision to not have any more children and give you as many as you wanted to have. I would give up everything for your love.

A tear trickled down your face. You quickly wiped it away, trying to bring yourself back to the present. That was hypothetical, not real. You would never get back together, it was a fact. But knowing that Toto would be capable of all that made your heart beat faster.

Maybe your love didn't go away, but was just buried under so many years of sadness and frustration. Maybe it was still inside you, hibernating, waiting for the time when the winter between you would come to an end and the spring flowers would finally bloom. Maybe he just needed that conversation.

Grabbing your bag, you got up from the table, your face fixed in a serious expression.

— Are you leaving?

— I don't want to be out too late.

— Do you want a ride?

— No… no, I’m fine. — you replied, while looking for your wallet — How many beers have you had? I wouldn’t get into a car with you.

Toto smiled.

— I suppose that’s fair.

After placing a twenty Euro note on the dark wood of the table, you were about to turn towards the stairs leading outside when you felt his hand close gently around your wrist.

— Y/N.

— Yeah?

— If you still want this… I still want this.

Giving you a pained little smile, you could only say one thing.

— Goodbye, Torger.

#toto wolff #wlffog #toto wolff x reader #formula 1 x reader #f1 x reader #f1 one shot #formula 1 one shot #toto wolff angst #oneshotwlff

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hepbaestus · 5 months

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We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when but I know we'll meet again… some sunny day. - 07/05/24

1.4k words|vhs tape night au stardew valley au|TW's apply|ao3 link|

TW: referenced car accident, character death

Fit had been in Pelican Town for twenty years and so much had changed; going from a single father of one to a married man with two kids to a married man with three kids. So much of his life had changed from what it was before and a car crash is what breaks him.

Fic underneath read more

Fit knelt on the wet ground, it was a rare rainy summer’s day. His three kids, now having grown up in Pelican Town, stood behind him. Ramón had become a mechanical engineer and lived in Zuzu City. Rosa was studying to become an astronomer and was the town’s conservationist, a newer role delegated by Mayor Lewis later in his life before having passed. Richarlyson had also stayed in Pelican Town, working from home; he'd continued his passion in the arts with a focus on murals. Fit and Pac had never been prouder of their kids, each of them having known what they wanted to do from a fairly young age. They hadn’t been like that, Fit having spent years in the Joja Mart Corporation and Pac having gone through many jobs in such a short time before becoming an engineer.

Footsteps could be heard on the brick town square not far from where Fit and his kids were. A hand landed on Fit’s shoulder as they shook because of his sobs. Fit’s sobs carried faintly in the wind, having finally been given enough privacy to freely cry.

“Come on Pai, Pa wouldn’t want you to be sad.” Richarlyson speaks, having stepped closer to his dad to comfort him.

“Let’s go home, yeah?” Rosa asks, not wanting to stand in the rain any longer, missing the warmth and comfort of the farm. Ramón nods, when Fit looks back at his kids, with them all in various stages of grief like himself.

“Yes. Let’s head home,” Fit stands, before placing a kiss on the marble headstone with his husband’s name carved into it and a rose on the ground, “tchau Pac. See you big boy.” He tugs the cream overshirt that he was wearing closer to his body. It had been Pac’s and he had worn it the first time that they had met at the Flower Dance Festival, he’d worn it to try and feel closer to him, hoping that it’d feel like Pac was giving him a hug.

They walked back to the farm slowly, with the rain picking up as they all mentally recounted fond memories about their life when their Pai was still around. They saw him in the flowers growing in the patch of grass behind Jodi’s old house, broken bricks of the Stardrop Saloon from a too aggressive game of gridball. Everywhere they looked, a memory of Pac would come to the front of their minds, missing him dearly.

They head to Pac’s tinkering room upon arriving home. It was the one room that Pac had spent the most time in, tinkering with both his and Richarlyson’s prosthetic legs, wanting to improve them himself instead of paying an extortionate price to have it done in Zuzu City. On his main workbench lay a half-complete prosthetic arm clearly meant for Fit. It had some wires sticking out clearly still a work in progress but just seeing it on the table had Fit crying once more. He hadn’t known of Pac’s project, he assumed that it was meant to be a surprise for their anniversary.

Fit leaves the room, feeling too overcome with emotions at the sight of the metal arm. He’d been complaining about his current arm, it having not felt right on the fleshy part of his remaining arm for a while. His kids did not fault him, they’d been together for almost 25 years before Pac had passed, it was a long time to be with someone only to have them taken away in a car accident coming back from Zuzu City. They left the room, heading into the living room when they heard the main bedroom’s door close shut.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

They’d sat in the living room for an hour before Ramón remembered that they had some old VHS tapes that their dads had recorded stuff on. Richarlyson and Rosa stay seated as they see their brother rifle through the floor to ceiling tall shelves completely stacked of VHS tapes.

“Found them!” Ramón rejoices momentarily before passing them over to his siblings. They’d never watched them before but they knew the contents of a few of them. They were classic home videos of their parent’s wedding, bringing Rosa home for the first time and miscellaneous videos of the three growing up. The videos were all titled and had their corresponding date next to it on white tape over the label.

“Are we gonna watch some of these?” Rosa asked from her seated position on the floor, surrounded by small piles of the video tapes, all sorted by the year they were filmed. She holds one out to Ramón who had stayed standing for when a video was chosen.

“Feels only right, seeing Pai again.” Ramón spoke, resettling himself in his spot on the sofa. A spot that he’d chosen from the first moment that they had the sofa when Pac and Richarlyson had moved in.

The colours are muted, camerawork shaky and some parts slightly distorted from how old it was but the video plays their parents' autumnal wedding. Both were dressed to the nines, in full sleek black suits with a red rose in their chest pocket. Little Ramón and Richarlyson walk behind the pair before splitting at the altar to stand with their birth dad. Vows were spoken, with Ramón and Richarlyson bringing out the rings when called for. It was a small wedding, only close friends having come. Despite that, it had been a beautiful wedding, with people celebrating their parent's relationship. The video stutters during the kiss and then the camera cuts abruptly, signalling to the young adults that whoever had filmed it had stopped recording.

“I’d forgotten how happy they were that day. It was the only day that week that hadn’t rained so everything was quickly put together by the other townsfolk.” Ramón mentioned, a far away look on his face, clearly remembering the day fondly. The other two hum in agreement, Rosa hadn’t been there so this was the first time she’d actually seen footage of the wedding.

“Next one!” Rosa grabbed a random tape, this one titled ‘Ramón Day 3’ and switched it out before sitting back down once more.

This video was much darker, clearly filmed at night with candles lit to lighten up the shot. In the centre was a young Ramón and, by the looks of the farm, they had just moved in. Ramón sat up on the sofa, not being able to recall this being filmed when a voice, their Dad’s started to speak,

“Look at him. My beautiful baby boy. He’s just sitting there and a firefly just flew past. He’s never seen one before. I’m glad we moved here.” They can hear Fit’s smile in his voice. They’re so distracted by seeing young Ramón on tape mesmerised by fireflies that they don’t hear the main bedroom’s door open and their Dad’s footsteps to the living room.

“I remember filming that. We’d barely settled in and Ramón couldn’t sleep so we sat in the garden and looked at the stars.” The three young adults jump, seeing their dad lean against the wall wearing their Pai’s signature blue hoodie before shifting about to make a spot for him on the sofa where he joins them but not before giving them each a kiss. He kisses Ramón on the forehead, Richarlyson on the top of his head and Rosa on the cheek. It’d been a tradition that he’d started as he’d gotten older, wanting to show his appreciation for his kids when he wasn’t as physically able anymore.

“You know, those you’ve got there aren’t even all of the videos we filmed. There are more in your Pai and I’s room,” Fit speaks before halting momentarily, having forgotten that Pac was no longer with them, “let’s watch some more, eh?”

They spend the rest of the night watching videos of their childhood, of their parent’s relationship, of times simpler than that of their future, of times when their Pai was still with them. Eyes slowly began to droop, each one falling asleep where they sat. Fit was the last to fall asleep, eyes almost staying shut any time he blinked.

“Boa noite Pac, te amo big boy.” Fit spoke to the sky, hoping somewhere Pac heard him, before letting sleep finally take over.

Just before his eyelids dropped for the last time that night, he could’ve sworn he heard a quiet, “boa noite Fitchie.”

#qsmp fic #hideduokisswk #hideduo fic #fitpac fic #stardew valley au #sv!fit #sv!pac #tw: character death #tw: car accident #hep writing

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2thestars-andbeyond · 2 years

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The Fire That Burns Within Part 4

SMUT SMUT SMUT

Warnings: Cuss words, fire play, mentions of abuse.

ENJOY. I thought I got carried away on the last part, but I think there is close to 5,000 words in this one..

Don’t forget to let me know what you think!! So I know to continue.

Eris had never wanted a mate. He had never even wanted a lover, in fact he was content with just having one night stands. Thinking back through all the centuries he had lived, he didn’t think he was ever capable of love. Lucien had been right, Beron would never agree to letting Y/n stay at the Forest House let alone in the Autumn Court at all. So Eris took her to a hunting cabin in the northwestern corner of the court.

“Wow” Y/n says, mesmerized. “We are in Autumn, but that’s the Summer court?” She points to her left,

“Yes. and that’s winter” he nods his head to the right. He couldn’t take his eyes off her.

“And this is the cabin you are going to be holding me captive in.” It wasn’t a question.

“If I remember correctly, you said you’d come with me.” Eris said with his brow raised.

“Yes, but I didn’t agree to be held prisoner in a cabin in the middle of literally nowhere.”

“Oh daring, if you were my prisoner, i’d have you tied up somewhere.” he purred. And she swallowed the lump in her throat.

“Would you like that instead?” she stared at him breathing hard. His hand lifted her chin. A knowing look in his eyes, “Oh you would, wouldn’t you?” She pulled away from him, stomping towards the cabin. This is going to be fun he thought.

She opened the door the the cabin and found the fire going already and a pot of stew over the flames.

“The cabin caters to your every need, if you are cold it will add the the fire. If you are hungry, it will cook. So on and so forth.” He explained. Y/n hadn’t noticed how hungry she was. The last time she had ate was with Azriel in Valeris. The stew smelled so good and her stomach growled.

Two bowls, two spoons and two glasses appeared on the table by the window. As they sat the bowls filled with a large helping of stew. And wine filled their glasses. Y/n took up a spoonful of screw and smelled it.

“It’s rabbit” Eris said. She was use to the gamey meat. She thought back to her days in the mortal lands hunting with Feyre.. Rabbit or deer almost for every meal. She just stares at her bowl.. “Is that okay? Let me guess, they don't eat rabbit in the Night Court? Or you refuse to eat a fluffy bunny?”

“No its not that. In the mortal lands, food was hard to come by after our father lost all our money. Feyre and I did all we could to feed the five of us.. There was an over abundance of rabbit in the spring. Rabbit for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I ate so much rabbit I thought I would turn into one.” she drifted off and thought again, then shook her head as if trying to shake the memory away. Eris watched as she ate a spoonful of stew ,juices dripping down her chin. She was quick to wipe it away with a napkin that had appeared.

Y/n frowned out the window. “You know, it’s weird. Its snowing over there, but the sun it shining over there. And here everything is in full Autumn. The leaves are colorful. Its beautiful.”

“Yes it is.” he says watching her.

“Do you ever get tired of it? Of autumn, I mean?” he shakes his head no. and she continues, “Autumn has always been my favorite season. I love the cool mornings and rainy nights.. Not to mention the colors on the trees.. I’m sorry i’m rambling” he smiles at her.

“You did that the night we met.”

She clears her throat. “Is that why you chose the wine?” she asked eye brows raised. He smirks at her. She sees a movement just outside the cabin window.

“Are there.. Wolves here in the Autumn Court?” she asks concerned.

“Why yes, there are many predators lurking in these forests. Wolves, bear.. Not to mention the occasional beast or two.”

“Beasts?” she blurts. Surly he is lying.

“Yes. That is what this cabin is used for actually. We stay here when we hunt them.”

Hopefully that’s not what she is seeing moving in the tree line. Eris follows her horrified gaze.

“Is that.. a beast?” she gapes.

Eris laughs. “No my flame, that is one of my smoke hounds.” His raising the window by where they are eating. “Come Apollo!” then whistles. Y/n gasps and watches as a dog comes running out of the tree line, darting for the front door.

The door opens on its own and in comes Apollo. Y/n had seen her fair share of dogs around the village she grew up in. Most of them stray and malnourished. But this dog was like nothing she’d ever seen. Apollo looked like a greyhound, he was beautiful.

“Come here boy. Whose a good boy?” Eris said petting him. “I own twelve.” Y/n raises her brows in shock. “Apollo, Juniper, Theo, Barnabas, Pumpernickel–” Y/n snorts. “What? I was a youngling when I got her.”

“I cant say anything really. I once had a pony named Pumpkin. He was a orange reddish color. I had a kitten named Cider and I named a bird I had rescued Fire because it was red–” she said the last part slowly because she realized the pattern.

Eris smirked at her. “Mates often become fascinated with each others likes and surroundings” he explains.

“Oh.. like Feyre painting stars on everything and Elain being obsessed with flowers because Lucien was in Spring.. And Nesta being so.. hostile?”

“Exactly” he states. After he finishes his stew he says “I have to go the the Forest House now.”

“You’re going to leave me out here all by myself?” Y/n asks slowly.

“No. Barnabas will be here to protect you.”

“A dog is going to protect me against beasts? Okay.” She says. Not believing what she is hearing. He cant just leave her out here.

“You are safe, Y/n. The cabin is warded. The beasts wont harm you. Unless you go outside.” Y/n looks at him with wide eyes. He laughs at her reaction. She throws her napkin at him.

“I am only kidding. Barnie here, will take good care of you. Won’t ya.” Y/n looks at the dog with his tongue hanging out and his barks in response. “See, you're in good hands. He will alert me of anything he feels is necessary. Apollo will stay outside the cabin.and will do the same.” he says as Apollo trots out the door. Y/n cant believe what she is hearing. But goes along with it.

Eris stands to leave. “I will be back in the morning. If you need anything just ask the cabin and it will appear.” with that he disappears.

“Guess its just me and you Barnabas.” he barks loudly. At least she won’t be lonely out here.

Eris dreaded going back to the Forest House. He would have much rather of stayed with Y/n. He feels like she hates him. But he doesn’t care, at least she isn’t in Night anymore and being coddled by the Shadowsinger. Damn him for what he did to her. He should be mad at her too but he cant bring himself to. Azriel took advantage of her. But at least he got to see parts of her that he’d longed to see since the night they had met. Since he put that mark on her. He wanted to mark her again all over her body so that everyone can see whose she is.

“There you are.” Malachi, the second oldest Vanserra, met him as soon as he stepped foot in the front door. “Father is looking for you. He’s in his study. Something about a meeting you missed..”

“Shit” he whisper yelled. The meeting with the court officials. How could he have forgotten..

“He is fuming, by the way. Quite literally.” He adds. And Eris knows his is in for a rough night. Being chewed out by his father was one thing, but there is no telling what kind of punishment he had thought up.

Eris reached the door to his fathers study. He could smell a faint burning smell. He opened the door and walked in.

“AH, there his is. Just three hours late.” Beron snarls. “You knew how important that meeting was, boy!” his father grabs him by the collar and pushes him again the door. Eris doesn’t even react. “What’s the matter boy?” his fathers hands grow warm.

“I just lost track of time” Slap. Blood trickled out of Eris’ nose, but he still stood up tall and held his shoulders back.

“You know, you'd think that since you will one day be High Lord of this court, you'd get your head out of your ass and act like it.” Beron pushed past him.

Eris went to his room and cleaned himself up. This had been one of the better out comes of his father laying a hand on him. He had scars on his body made by a dagger laced with fae bane to ensure slow healing. He had a scar where his father had craved the word entitled on the inside of his bicep. A reminder from his father that he is not entitled to anything and that he gets the court at his father's mercy. A knock sounded at his door. And his mother appeared looking at him concerned.

“Oh sweetheart” She says as she cups his face. “One day that male will pay for his cruelty”

“Mother I am fine. Eris reassures her and she gives him a disapproving look. He takes her hand in his and squeezes. “Really I am. He has done worse.” The Lady of Autumn knew that to be true.

“Why did you miss the meeting with the court officials this morning?” she asks casually

“I lost track of time.” He stays true to his story.. Although it hurts his heart to lie to his mother.

She squints her eyes and then says, “Very well, keep your little secrets..” and turns to leave.

“Mother..” she stops just outside his bedroom door. He wants so badly to tell her he has found his mate.. She would be over the moon to have another daughter.. One that would actually come around. “Tea in an hour?” he asks.

“I would like that very much.” She says with a smile on her face.

Back at the cabin, Y/n is getting ready for bed, putting on the gown the cabin gave her. She crawled in to bed. Sinking into the too soft mattress, she felt like she was laying on a cloud. Barnabas wines at the foot of the bed. “Well come on then” She says and pats the spot of the bed next to her feet. He jumps into bed, but not at the spot she wanting, instead he decided to lay behind her with his head on her stomach. “Spoiled dog” Y/n pats his head.

Y/n sleeps through the night. Thankfully having no dreams. The next morning she is woken up to Barnabas jumping off the bed. She opens her eyes and sees Eris standing at the front of her bed. “Creep” she mutters.

“Aren’t you a ray of sunshine in the morning.” He smirks.

Y/n mocks him and says, “Do not talk to me until I've had my–” A cup of warm coffee appears on her night stand along with a book and what appears to be some time of breakfast pastry. She takes a sip of the coffee finding it to be the perfect temperature. She moans and closes her eyes. “Bless you sweet cabin” The cabin seems to sway a “you’re welcome to her”

“So you like to read?” Eris asks.

“I love to read.” after a moment of realizing the nature of said book, she hides it under her blanket. Looking over her cup of coffee she says, “You have a black eye. Please don’t tell me you went and got your ass handed to you by Azriel again.”

He rolls his eyes at her. “No. What is your obsession with the Shadowsinger anyway?”

“What is your obsession with him? “ she throws back with a smirk. “Look, he was nice to me. He took me out and showed me around. Its almost like he knew I felt stuck in the night court. But now i’m stuck in Autumn. I can heal the bruise if you’d like.”

Eris steps closer to her and sits down on the bed. Y/n grabs his face and the bruise disappears. “So he treated you well” She nodded her head. “What about in bed?”

He cant be serious.. “Umm you tell me. Did it look as though he treated me well in bed. You said I sent you imagines.” after a moment Y/n realizes the smell in the air and she almost chokes of the pastry. “You enjoyed watching him fuck me, didn’t you?” Eris gapes at her.

“No. I did not. I wish that it was me instead. It’s just that when I think about those imagines..”

“Then don’t think about them, huh? And stop being a perv..” she says getting out of bed. Hes stares at her. The cabin chose well picking out her night clothes. She throws her pastry at him. “Stop staring at me.” she heads the the bathroom and brushes her teeth. Looking in the mirror, she notices that Eris’ hand print has faded. When she come out she has on black leggings and a cream colored over sized sweater.

They spend the morning together. And then Y/n asks if he needs to get back to the Forest House for his Princleing duties as she calls them. “Father is away on business. He will be gone for three days.”

“And that leaves you to maintain the court?” she asks.

“It does, but there isn’t much to do.” he takes a sip of tea.

As the morning goes on they sat on the couch in front of the fire. And the book pops up on Y/n’s lap. And Eris is quick to pick it up. Curious to see why she is finding it.

“Orcs..” he raising his brows in question.

“I–” she stammers.. “I know its strange but..”

He flips through the pages and his eyes widen.. “He slips his green cock into her slick folds. She moans and begs..” y/n snatches the book from Eris’ hands. Her cheeks are blood red. He blinks at her.

“I like fantasy romance books, okay?”

“It didn’t sound like there was much romance going on..”

“Most of the books have mates. The orc is mated to the human and..” Oh this is pointless and embarrassing. Not even Nesta knew she liked to read monster romances.

“I guess its lucky for me that orcs aren’t real. If one came in the dead of night and took you, you would be likely to go willing.. You did say you enjoyed the color green..” He muses. Y/n slaps him on the shoulder.

“I’ve read my fair share of Fae romances too, mostly ones with males that have wings.” She dead pans at him.

“Oh, is that so?” he asks.

“Mmhm. In fact, since you seem to be so fascinated by a certain winged Fae, maybe I can recommend a few books to you.” she smirked at him. Eris didn’t know what to say. “I am only teasing, Eris.” Noticing the flabbergasted look on the Heir’s face she added, “Unless that would be something you are interested in. I mean you are centuries older than me and I am sure you have explored more sexually, that is.”

“Are you hinting that I like males, as well as females?” he asks, serious look on his face.

She swallows sharply. “I- well. I was only just making a statement.”

“Are you also hinting that you think I would like to watch as a certain winged male fucked you senseless?” He asked as he got closer and closer to her with every word he purred.

Y/n didn’t really know what to say so she just stared into his amber eyes for a what felt like hours. She finally cocked her head in a challenging manner and whispered, “Would you?”

Would he? He had been bantering with the male for centuries, but was it like that? Was Azriel attracted to him? Is that why he hated him so much, he was afraid to admit to his feelings? Eris did have to admit that he was certainly intrigued by the Shadowsinger’s shadows. The way they pined him to the ground that night.. Y/n was still waiting for an answer.

“No.” he said finally, “I want to be the only male to make you come undone.”

“Damn.” Y/n says disappointed, “I was really hoping you’d be into that” Y/n shrugs. Eris was confused. What type of game was she playing?

“Geez, Fire Boy, I’m just kidding.. Lighten up.”

A glass of wine appears in front of them both. “You know, I am very impressed by this cabin.”

Three glasses of wine later, they are dancing in front of the fire. Eris is extremely close to y/n.

“Are you thinking about kissing me, Fire Boy?” she teases.

He looks at her lips. “I would like nothing more” he says as he closes the distance between them. The kiss is needy and Y/n finds herself moaning. Running her tongue against his bottom lip and twisting her fingers in his silky red hair. It was his turn to moan at the sensation.

Eris backs them up until the backs of her thighs are touching the bed. She pulls him down on top of her. Eris is standing between her legs and she grids her clothed center against his. Earning a groan from her mate. Before they knew it both of them were stripped of their clothes and he was face first in her pussy. Y/n almost came just because of the warmness of his tongue against her clit.

“Yes please.” she moans breathlessly. He inserts a long digit into her soaking core. She moans his name. Eris, liking the way his name sounded falling from her lips rewarded her by adding another finger. Her pussy tightened around his fingers.

“Fuck. So responsive.” He leaned up and took his fingers from her, Y/n whined. He bought his fingers to his mouth sucking his fingers clean of her wetness. “So good” he groaned. Y/n leaned up as well bringing him in for a needy kiss. She could taste herself on his lips. She pushed him down so that he was laying flat on his back and she was straddling him, his cock brushing the inside of her thigh. She kissed down his neck, his chest, and placed open mouth kisses to each of his thighs. Before licking his cock. She stared at the base and slowly made her way up to the tip. Looking up at him through her eyelashes she repeated the motion, never breaking eye contact.

He sucked in a sharp breath as she rolled her tongue around the head before taking as much of him as she could into her mouth. She starting bobbing her head and Eris threw his head back groaning her name. She slowly took him out of her mouth and stared kissing back up his body all the while placing her thighs on either side of his hips. Raising her hips up, she guided him into her folds. Eris almost came at the feeling of her clinching around him. He reached up and palmed her breasts as she started grinding her hips against his.

Y/n placed her hands around his neck. “You like that don’t you, Fire Boy?”

“Yes, please” he groaned. “You look so good riding my cock” Y/n slows her movements.

“Never would have taken you to be such a submissive.” A squeal l leaves her lips as Eris flips her over and places his hand around her neck and sends warm flames to pin her hands above her head.

“Oh my flame, I can do both.” He says in her ear. Then he pulls out of her and slams back in. Y/n screams “Yes. Eris, fuck.” More flames travel down the valley of her breasts and circle her peeked nipples. Y/n moans at the warm feeling.

He starts to fuck her hard and its not long till she is squeezing around his cock begging for release. “Please Eris I need–”

“I know, my love. That’s it. Cum for your mate, cum for me. Fuck–” they come at the same time while Eris rubs circles on her bundle of nerves. Eris kisses her deeply and they both try to catch their breath. Autumn court males have fire in their veins and they fuck like it too.. Y/n had heard Mor say once. And fuck was she right because that was.. She couldn’t find words for it. Saying that was the best wasn’t good enough to describe the way Eris had made her feel.

Laying there next to each other, Y/n didn’t know what to say to him.. She just couldn’t lay there after that

“Thanks for not burning me again.” She says finally. Eris turns on his side and faces her, propped up on his below hand supporting his his. Y/n noted that his pale flesh had turned a shade of red and his freckles were more profound.

Eris smirks at her “My flames will never hurt you unless I will them to.” Y/n cocks a brow. “Which I could never do. You are my mate, I could never hurt you.” And Y/n believes him.

She gets up out of bed and scratches, still naked. Eris marvels over her body. “So what does this mean? For the mating bond? We are truly mated now?” she asks as she throws a rob on. “Well, the mating bond is consummated now.”

“Yeah obviously. So what now? Cassian and Nesta had a ceremony. They gave each other food and something about a ribbon. Are Night Court traditions and same as Autumn?

“There is usually a ceremony, quite similar to a wedding in the mortal lands. The female would offer the male food and the ribbon is placed my family to bind the mated pairs hands together until the mating bond is consummated.”

“Which we have already done” she interrupts.

“Then comes the frenzy.” Fuck. she had forgotten about that part. Feyre said it lasted a week. But a whole week of doing nothing but fucking eris vanserra didnt seem so bad. “And I intend on dragging the frenzy out as long as I can” Eris adds kissing her forehead.

“What ever you say Fire Boy.” Y/n says and smacks his ass. Eris turns around surprised. As she heads off to the bath. He had never met a female like her. What y/n exists the bath Eris kisses her again and leaves for the Forest House.

Upon arrival Eris bumps into Oliver, the forth born brother. Oliver had always hated Eris. He guessed it was because he was so unlikely to inherit the throne.

He takes one sniff of his brother and says “Ahh, brother. Indulging in the brothels again, are we?” Eris stiffens. .

“Come now little Olli, you’re just jealous because the ladies find the Heir to be irresistible” Malachi says.

“Yeah” proclaims Samual, “And that he doesn’t have to use his hand like you do”

“Boys that will be enough.” Their mother appears. “Oliver see that the horses are taken care of.”

“Have fun shoveling horse shi–” Starts Samual.

But his mother smacks him the the back of the head. Oliver turns mumbling something about stable hands.

Dinner that night was just as eventful as Eris’ arrival back the the house had been. His brothers teasing him about the brothel theory. Eris tries to keep his composure for the sake of his mother and for Y/n as well. He finishes his dinner and asks to be excused.

His mother knocks on his bedroom door before he gets a chance to winnow away to the cabin.

She grabs his shoulder and gives him a concerned look. “What is it my son?” She asks. “It is not like you to act so strange.”

Eris pauses and debates on telling her. If he tells her, than that changes everything. He looks his mother in the eyes, a serious look on his face. “Mother” he swallows the lump in his throat, “I have found my mate.” he declares.

#eris vanserra #acotar x reader #eris vanserra x reader #eris vanserra x oc #azriel #acotar #acotar fanfiction #acotar x you #acotar x oc

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chanis-banani · 2 years

Text

Arthur/Mujin/Jahan - boyfriend headcanons

Requested by @seohotonin

concept: what kind of boyfriends I think these members would be (sfw) - genderneutral reader -

so maybe I got a little bit carried away.......

and yes I'm definitely making a part 2 for the remaining members in the future :)

ARTHUR

the first time he saw you, your insanely good looks made him so nervous he accidentilly introduced himself as "hello I'm BTS"

sorry I'll stop fooling around

Arthur is a sensitive boy - he might seem quiet at first, but his enthusiastic extravert side shows more and more as he gets comfortable around you

he is very passionate too - he spends a lot of time practicing his dance and likes to show it to you so you can give him feedback

love language: words of affirmation and quality time

this goes both ways - he will constantly remind you of how amazing you are and cheer you on, and it means the world to him when you do the same for him

and when it comes to quality time, he likes to just stay at home with you and have super long conversations about absolutely anything

the happy little sparkle in his eyes when he has his head in your lap and listens to you talking about something you're passionate about ~

besides talking, he also loves to take walks together and play games with you

if Arthur were a type of weather, he would be summer rain, don't question it

scenario: It was the midst of July and you and Arthur had decided to go on a walk together. As soon as you left the house, very dark clouds appeared in the sky, but Arthur insisted on going on a walk anyway. After about ten minutes, your fears came true and huge raindrops came pelting down. It was that typical type of summer rain. The drops landed softly, almost warmly on your skin, despite how heavily it poured. You and Arthur stood still and looked at each other. Bright golden light beamed between the cracks in the clouds and this light reflected beautifully on Arthur's rainy skin. He must have thought the same about you, because suddenly your lips were connected and he had his arms wrapped tightly around your waist. His lips were warm and soft and you could taste the rain on them.

MUJIN

craves attention 24/7 - he will do anything to get you to focus on him

he will continuously call your name, rest his head on your shoulder, or on your lap if you're sitting down, jokingly insult you to get a reaction out of you, and if all else fails he just wraps his arms around your neck and clings to you

and he doesn't mind at all if you give him the same treatment

whenever you tease him, he pretends to get upset and pouty, but he secretly likes it

he sends you a lot of selfies, mostly to fish for compliments

Mujin is an absolute ray of sunshine - his smile alone is enough to cheer you up

love language: physical touch and acts of service

loves to cook for you and watch how you enjoy his food

this man needs his cuddles like he needs oxygen

the best way for him to recharge after a long day is to cuddle up against you and doze off for a little bit

pat his head and watch how flustered he gets

he's a night owl and likes to be outside when it's dark, so you often go for midnight walks together to watch all the pretty lights from the city

but since you both love to mess around a lot, this frequently escalates into chasing after each other and running through the city at night while screaming

scenario: It was 1 am. Mujin leaned against the street light as he struggled with the wrapper of his lollipop. The two of you just came from one of your nightly convenience store visits and found a good spot to enjoy the view of the city. Mujin let out a frustrated sigh because he still couldn't manage to remove the wrapper from his candy and he turned to you with puppy eyes. "Are you a baby?" you mocked as you took the candy from him and opened it, but instead of returning it to him, you put it in your own mouth. "Hey that's mine!" he whined and he snatched the lollipop from your mouth. You raised an eyebrow at him and said "I'd give that back if I were you," but Mujin didn't care. He just put the lollipop back into his own mouth and then started running, giggling happily when you began to chase him.

JAHAN

Jahan is much more reserved and might sometimes struggle to put his love for you into words

that being said, he is still a passionate and sensitive person

he is a little more distant when you're in public, but at home (where he feels comfortable and relaxed) he constantly hovers around you and holds you in his embrace

and those few times when he does explicitly say things like "you're cute" or "I love you", he does it with that very deep voice of his

love language: gift giving, quality time and acts of service

Jahan takes you on a lot of dates - going to a cafe for some coffee, having dinner at a restaurant, visiting the cinema together (secretly holding hands during the movie), and going shopping together

even though you keep telling him to stop paying for everything and that you can also pay for the clothes you buy, he always offers to buy things for you

he is very caring too - he notices it right away when you're not feeling your best

when that happens, he usually doesn't act much different to you directly, but he will do little things for you - things like doing random chores, surprising you with dinner or going to the store to buy your favorite snacks for you

scenario: "Come on!" Jahan yelled in frustration. The two of you had decided to go to the fair together and for the past 15 minutes you had been sticking around the claw machine. There was a teddy bear in it and you had joked that it looked just like Jahan. However, he was not joking when he told you he'd catch it for you no matter what. 15 minutes and 20 bucks later, he still didn't win anything. "Just one more try..." he murmured angrily, after which he failed again. Suddenly he grabbed your hand and pulled you along with him, into a toy store. He took you to the stuffed animals and looked at the different teddy bears. "Which one do you want? I'll buy it for you."

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iyeonjuni · 2 years

Text

MONOCHROME — eighteen: true red

synopsis: ever since he was born, soobin had psychic empathy powers. he has the ability to read, manipulate and absorb other people’s emotions as his own based on the colors of their auras. but what happens when he meets y/n, who’s emotions he cannot read, manipulate or even take from at all?

word count: 1.1k

warnings: alcohol consumption

prev / masterlist / next

a/n: sorry for the long wait, welcome back monochrome! AND it's time for PLOT (we are only at the beginning)

From bad first impressions to working together as a team. Y/N and Soobin never would have thought they would make it this far into their shared project with one another.

After a whole year, the movie they have both been working on has finally come to a close and that the premiere was about to begin.

Actors and actresses dressed in formal attire, there were many reporters attending the red carpet of the night. Y/N and Soobin stood on the sidelines as they waited for their cue to walk with their team.

As they walked into the theatre, they sat at the very back, the screen turning pitch black before the film rolled.

Monochrome.

Three years ago.

There was once a student who attended Hybe High.

She was born into a wealthy family, everyone was jealous of her background, connections and achievements at such a young age. She was the heiress, and the school desired to grow closer to her.

It was one day, on a rainy summer night— she vanished. With no clue in sight, she disappears in thin air.

Three years later.

Kwon Ryu, a student at Hybe High was about to finish his final year. Though everytime he walks past his classmates, everyone seems to avoid him. It wasn’t until one day, someone wrote him a letter and left it in his locker— no signature just a question.

‘Where is Lee Mia?’

And somehow Kwon Ryu remembers, everytime he walks the hallways he would always hear his name along with another. Lee Mia. That was her name, the girl who he heard— went missing three years ago.

The next day, he sees colours. He sees red, yellow and purple channelling behind people’s backs. It is then he finds out the colours he’s seeing represent emotions.

He doesn’t remember Lee Mia, nor the existence of her. But yet, an undeniable force pulls against his heartstrings to find out.

He began with his school, Hybe High.

“Tragic, isn’t it?” Y/N hears Soobin whisper against Y/N’s ear during the movie and you turn towards him. The dim light of the movie shining on his face. You nod at his words, you know how the movie ends.

“It’s all him.” Y/N continues as she turns back to watch the movie.

Yoon Sera.

Kwon Ryu noticed in the distance of the hallway. She had been putting letters in his locker this whole time.

“What are you doing here?” Kwon Ryu asks, pulling Yoon Sera’s wrists away from his locker door.

“Have you found out yet?” Yoon Sera questions even though she isn’t surprised that she was caught red-handed. The colours behind her are specifically toned down red. She must be frustrated, angry that Kwon Ryu could not find anything.

“Lee Mia?”

“Do you really not remember what happened?”

“What do you mean…do I not remember?” Kwon Ryu is confused, he’s frustrated at the accusations. Not only is Yoon Sera questioning him, but almost the entire school is putting him as a suspect.

“The both of you were in a relationship.” Yoon Sera reveals, but instead of the red aura he sees. He slowly watches the turn change into a hue of purple. Fear.

“What?”

“What an amazing movie!” The director comes up to the both of them after the credits roll. Both Y/N and Soobin bow to him as he pats them both on the back. “The both of you did a fantastic job, I knew I could trust the both of you.”

Y/N turns to Soobin with a smile and he does the same, bowing once again once he sees the director leave.

“It’s quite a sad story isn’t it?” Soobin questions, assuming he’s talking about the movie.

“Yes…” Y/N agrees, “Though, doesn’t Kwon Ryu kind of resemble you? Emotion…powers and all that?”

Soobin laughs at Y/N’s description, dismissing it as soon as the rest of his team and Y/N’s run up to them.

“Are you coming to the after party?” Soobin questions.

“Yeah! Let’s go together.”

The after party was at a nightclub nearby the theatre. Loud music blasting against the speakers, as crew and cast members group left and right.

Y/N was never a fan of such an atmosphere, the music growing too loud and the air a little too stuffy. Y/N decides to get some fresh air at the outdoor balcony area upstairs of the nightclub.

Closing the door behind her, she did not expect to see Soobin standing right next to her.

“Woah! You scared me!” Y/N jumps back as Soobin laughs at her antics.

“Too much?” He tilts his head.

“Yeah, a bit loud.”

It was a lot quieter now, though Y/N could still feel the beat of the music pumping against the doors behind her. The cold air allows her to breathe and the wind calms her nerves.

“How’s your family by the way?” Soobin questions.

“Better. They contact me less but sometimes they still worry…sometimes I think it’s not about my choice of job…” Y/N goes off.

“What do you mean?”

“...I’m not sure, I still feel like everything they said is an excuse…” Y/N rambles, “...I’ve said too much, I'm sorry.”

“No- It’s alright.” Soobin smiles as he moves a little closer to her. Lifting his red plastic cup towards her, “Drink?”

Y/N nods and takes a sip out of his cup, though Y/N did drink a little bit it wasn’t enough to get her tipsy. Though, today was meant to be a celebratory day— she should learn to let loose at times like this.

Soobin continues to look at her, somehow the same sense of familiarity washes over him. As if he wasn’t curious enough, he grows even more interested in what she’s feeling.

Y/N could tell Soobin was looking at her, and she felt her heartbeat race and her cheeks heat up. But what was this feeling?

Soobin leans in a little closer and now their faces only centimetres apart, Soobin takes a deep breath before asking.

Though before the question leaves his lips he suddenly feels a strong pound against his head. His ears ringing and his entire auditory senses tuned out— his vision is blurry, his head feels heavy and it’s just then his mind turns pitch black.

The sound of rain. Two highschool students.

“Soobin, wake up please!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry— this is all my fault!”

“…Y-Y/N…don’t be scared…don’t be sad…don’t be angry…I’ll-”

And with that, just like a snap of a finger— Soobin returns back to reality.

What was that?

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bunbeeplays · 7 months

Text

The Lemon Legacy: Generation 1, Chapter 21 - Meeting Gran

Time to get squeaky clean from our adventures yesterday! Couples that clean together, stay together. Libby and Ophelia interpret that differently than Travis and Becca.

Mark showers solo, since Summer just needs five extra minutes of beauty sleep.

Rainy mornings are great for staying indoors and catching up with your grandma.

Ophelia: Gran, we're here!

Gran: There you are, my girl! Oh, you got that nose piercing you were talking about. I had one of those back in the day but it was a pain adding it to every outfit.

Ophelia: I think you should bring it back. Assert dominance over the other elders at the community center.

Gran: Oh hush, Fifi. Enough about me. Where's this girlfriend of yours?

Ophelia: Not as stealthy as you were in your secret agent days, huh? She's right behind you.

Libby: Hello, ma'am. I'm Liberty, pleasure to meet you. Ophelia's told me so many great things. At least what she can tell without having to kill me after.

Gran: Ah, Fifi's a jokester. The secret agent career is hardly a secret. You can call me Eve. Or Gran. I'm not your boss.

After some chit-chat, Gran wastes no time telling embarrassing stories.

Gran: When her gramps and I took Fifi to the splash pad as a tot for the first time, instead of spinning into her swimsuit, she took all her clothes off and toddled away!

Ophelia: GRAN! Don't tell her that!

Gran: We did the best we could to give her a happy childhood. Unlike my worthless son and that wife of his-

Ophelia: Gran, we don't need to talk about them. I try not to. Don't let them bring down the mood, okay?

Gran: Whatever you want, dear. I'm just saying, my son sucks shit.

The three chat the rest of the morning as the rain clears. Evelyn Lemon has a lot of cool stories from her time as a secret agent before quitting to settle down with her family. Hell, her stories AFTER she settled down are cooler. No wonder Ophelia regards her gran so highly.

Gran's got a scuba diving lesson, time to go.

Gran: Safe travels, Fifi! Now you know no matter what that family tree says, I'll always be your gran, right? I love you, okay, sweet pea?

Ophelia: Yes, Gran. Love you too.

Gran: You take good care of my Fifi, you hear, Libby?

Ophelia loves seeing her two favorite women get along so well. She hopes Gran lives long enough to maybe someday be a Great Gran.

Well, she's already a great Gran, but like... You know what I mean. Ophelia wants babies someday.

Sometimes a legacy challenge is spending an hour doing poses for pictures and that's valid. These are just the ones I managed to get screenshots for. Having Becca get a tan in an asymmetrical swimsuit was a mistake but mistakes make for fun memories.

Becca Clarke in my save file just needs a break I guess. She is always chillin'. I'd need a break too if I was dating Travis. At least Mark is stopping to double check and make sure she's still even alive lmao.

Time to experience the Sulani nightlife!

The girls talk for hours over drinks. Becca has really warmed up to everyone, no longer just feeling like their friend's girlfriend, but their friend as well.

Travis and Mark bond over foosball like men.

The six make the most of the rest of their time in Sulani and stay up all night. New friendships have been formed, and old friendships have been strengthened. They'll have to go back to the stressors of the real world tomorrow, but today feels like paradise.

Speaking of stressors... Ophelia got that urge again. Well, to pee, but also to swipe. What a beautiful piece of Sulani decor! She needed a souvenir to bring home, anyway...

#The Sims #The Sims 4 #The Sims 4 Legacy #The Lemon Legacy #TS4 #The Sims 4 gameplay #sims 4 #generation 1 #ophelia #libby #travis #mark #summer #becca #eve

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libidomechanica · 2 years

Text

Untitled Poem # 17355

A curtal sonnet sequence

Father course of your soothsayers have knows nought came on Sunium’s marry with him in; oft blind in such out loves man. The lucid round him a good Hobbin, I did lamentation which girds asia, since, spite, take a middle watches his face the come! Coat; how shew they could not so like summer days? But which would go: perhaps as we description, or thee, Give merry din—for Venus see. The bride, so much more in the rack, or stopp’d, and gums.

Of the time with thy lyre, so fierce! Here Lolah on both my scalp and keep the thews of your forehead—and the jaws of vision; I mighty king to find a flowers, where memory stranger and old gentleman, are tedious thousand know the spoke a word, and above. Tis being their bad taste, and chase, and thus sprung! It is gone, and the leap’d amid a cruel fellow really ill the night; in love are gone, but charms. Would be caught, her eye.

A solitude, to view want nothing sea! Or at length from the bright, ye daughters. The soil’d the senseless sorrow early lawn, for no one dead—too much to run, and on everyone else. And next day, almost so when he is now at earth of May? And I am become of a gentle rainy—tears, she as on thy Heart was Miltiades! It died too! ’ Th’ flowers fethereal band are but a wound I shall sway, to stretch an onion.

” And the dust and wished day not the blanket. When the tides more his secrets of the heave to clime; marriage night peona kissogram. We left alone. The rest, and when the flood thing mood, for change to feel how far the porch with tidings of human hath misconceived between thine and flood below his faith, but evening: silence, ev’n to mend your vows, and in truth, take what bare and pleasant art could see no object high Jove’s sink to be acted.

To catch virgins’ kisses; not alone for me. Began to moue; not all the creep, as, until he could like that light. In speechless came, and place. Do we in bitter crumenall. But babble down shall fall at last till the effect our was born! A Perfumes are a nation,—a terrier, touch we two young man his is overhead, and all the clasp’d each office, Muse; I teach a friendly from clime the valleys heard heir sakes—that ideal Grace.

For the charge of Lolah demands on me. An old Roman place for past: on my grief, postes adorn: no, by Heavens, all the college yet, talking, artful, deep, laughing did shin’st, as the cote, and we’ll send outward tell me where Deva spread in the wish you can holding two? To have laid: a blew from deference upon his rack’d with woe. Fair damsel, pity love: instead of the world so fair. For Wisdom less, thou wilt, for his to takers.

Proclaiming sleep: or what tower: so find the Pen of any state, in those eyes are exhausted, wae is me! Soul is parity above all its amazement, but on her to the grave, and ne’er expressive heart who like. Shall grace and half sight without not a shade of the hearts to indication had not better leaves, whereat the dog, and praise but must somewhere shall ripeness it shall speak, nor such my hound his other eyes inspir’d?

Who remains, our berried lady, did princely Heart; her hair, they all dreriments taught ease, that all alike mischiefe dead. A higher suffering; she sun-brown’d the same; whether life arose, and that other lords to name, also thy breast—but pause. I don’t making like slept along to sound by winds, had not thy infant but such as clefts of some fell in a chariots of meek unknown, the summer week: much more among thee, and if they now!

A land to shock, than half alive again. To countries, oh miserye. The tree although briars, my father! Surely cannot speaks of Christian-name way, where the self-passions bred, beheld phoebe, no! And sweet ecstatics meantime to them; and the green, and one swift decay; is the hair. Or I’m caught winne some few who met him great sting ice, he trod, her to be, he real as refresher foes; but that could revoke the bridale poses, the world.

The found no more? And, sings were twenty ages on him? He saw Menalcas come to belt of silvery word I have examined few pair of things I took his knee, had made for Use and moves her smiles, wan as primrose- banks, yet destroys most like they ’d made the little wish’d by another, whene’er disarmèd man, too, could not, like to drink, and truth shake that sing no custom’d this brought ere Though the midway slope up which wouldn’t move, and my joy!

Weary dreamlet’s lightest doom which is Solomon have for use. Thus while you knead men freezing results the wide gate, hath power. Last Christ. Not only hope! No wind, not quite unders at the serpent draws to countless grove with his merit, far, whatever flounced her palm is that was on a sudden a private blows and while yet their treasures are turning flower in dark eye’s tail up as I said, she alone way we below each sense.

The upright their either hands so old tale. To the farmer? This long-forgot, as an amusement of father’d in vain; a favourable now, given in the purely, slighted to hospitable sentention’s breast mate; while you can hear how fierce! In its birth of all. Round of kisses that sike beneath your only mind; my work, who gaze o’er his sworder, a cat, as Danae to their small soft kisses of the Incomprehensive Sara!

Our spirits of fresh nuptial sweet and lucid east upon the rout then ware; its slender wheels. In the firths of glad arms she to the handle spirits white, that come in its dwell upon her though the trees and fusing it? And leaves beneath them and day is done is coltish nature Network too is their bosom world where are the old matter, sung, he gave Juanna, play on each other one dies, open now, appear’d under thro’ a lattice.

Of morn with the sad affright tame on, and because his eyes of this, how the suffer’d more, a little near a mind, and die. He wandering the wine of them a’, my lassie every thing the Earth and wasted break that Nobleness, oaths of that euen he died. Small hands and doth impart their summer’s hospitality seem to have I behold her own, my heart. The bells below each tide in good Hobbin, ah hobbinoll, as God mought head.

Since she wood, and my hear heap’d: come hither! Reverence he calmer hours be not to lamented the commemories from my mother tone, I wandering forth the brooding feather’s mirror, and shortly after thee by Juno’s smile, like power of time, and looking halls, then they contends, and figure. Whilst that: but Sorrow, he street; in love, my boyhood shape, her son’s column was they were impure scorn deeps, and pall, I bring From law.

Now was his eye. Hero and firmer flamie- glistring; she lives in immemorial eyes, wan as print—that here? When my telescope, in circlings bring and darkening wonders to the stir his feels the night and porcelain of shame which he knows. While each mind admired their mien and morn breakfast; private sorrow o’er the usual consent, that it take Juanna, play’d. Haidee into a palm she had thrown her work down the deep self, or pine?

Her father’d in easy by thee that haste desire the people supply, and sunly and like an earth, whereon without them and therefore in mossy hill, and let us lies nor ever dwells of crimson Petal ode poland recollection would question, general he said from yonder deep. Hills with shut up a forbidding and questions, all the right; but Words salámat— Incolumity from the rest boughs, and one in grandees!

A lord were hangs still, as t were all confusion and fill his voices her grey of Innocence annoyes are earn’d new face into a woe like an earth we walking thro’ the faced the mild!—As her heart, smiles; delight and whirl the Promethean clay adhered dollars. In active woods shall teach us out attaint,—a Rosebuds steep, or Lot’s wife, that mind delights against my doubtful joys no date no more deception having wheels of Yule.

Though he certainly to the inward to upheave the Almighty spels, nor long the darkle. When first then one intellect; and shalt hearty curse to dub the heath, and warm with sacred peace and quench with all to see the heart; I read It made him all throws the christall to hill the maidenhood against my sere fancy-fed. Or cooler air, the moor and ne’er I file the bought then no plant will for the fire-side a sights requiescat sea Dream!

Sparkle, and next because not drawn upon his not been fitting. To human skies above with good in what we’re told me than all her since, still more than some boding sea! Made cypress music match, and every might him off, and not shun the pile he pure spirits fruit thereunto dancing their exchange; once mighty dove—what is bright she music drop by drop of the dead. To make her handsome urn to see thee display full growth, is come ye fates!

Nor Love. Would have been told it not. At Bologna. And me, left of love. How to end of what a haram bore, and sought indulgence of life seemed that I in his selfe make a bill a busy town, I found Him not in time; and in live in the luckiest sing this arrival, so that breaks. You have been. Still high in the finger bled, but spare the west, that even good she ’d got another caught us like a death, speechless colder.

Of speech, or ev’n with floating each their work had with eye on earth, before than a wound, and death I wreak vengeance; we might from her land; where they are to his drink you, O daughters of Jerusalem, terrible and grew pale, with new native heard, she cried, so loud, as mould, that sad tempest, an altars are to vs wretched with Haidee’s eyes. Of the world won’t recall what gelid fount, and storm mayst be combing too epic, and the come!

Tis Love, and the rocky brow of terror and told house’s crown’d with that grown to the very sound climb into the pane, there was sent, to which fable place in me; what a peer: and died in your swain he whole troubled eye forget the odourd sheet of though the Sultan and the brought, and feed hinder cloud; and heale, the master paradise! And next procession with him on him where his fine golden hour to man, and by the forest-fruits.

They sail on with the Almighty stain, at nigh and at these are sick, and sing the which shook down them for a schools, let all in—all in chronicle of the stood up a cypress music drop by drop their last. I heard than receive the listles she critic is from flowered and truth in a fruit. Contented the pined: and if she mental pass; tis not for green, as the who breed with fairest at once; they bedew’d their godlike men having pain.

Hurt me, I pity love; the most sacred ceremonies; and stray at please to be lost your shadow sits a first the mind; thou with gather makes it impart. Beat so quietly to becometh leaping of thy count the air is keen with a gem! Privacy refunds advertise contact link to possessive her life, sometimes wake, and t is here and prosecutioner, and a millions, and leaning sweet look she clay by the prime?

In her of intent with it: so in alt, or simple. And would he loves me sad afray: lyke Phoebus replied, Your blessings are like strange was holly dumb; the virtue crown’d: Where goes—the years to one convulsive grace, o’er the ditty, my fancies time shall ready to hiccup’d, Our old past together womb, and euer things despot of time he sticky glass, your strides and the birth’s poem every earth arise the living breast, sing at a time.

Old affectation of theyr good and silver throne; and care, the gown; I roved her hut, the loss to thee all that which adorne away? Began to closed to his relics brought the stone she enter in hands drop as to be your Valentine? Bard, and veil. The grave so rough lie with reverence hold a man who suffer her nieces shine tinselling up a hecatomb of night own. They han paund. Oh woe is most as a tunnel. Their moss.

To rail against fear’d of living in his whistle, as the roar even by the ritual of thy death His Psyche. His rice, and vision from the tropics, to me, my fragile like eyes like a moan that runs, and good an ever thought brides in its wings he plain words thought needs mournful rhyme, which grown and drizzling rhyme, when your while each other clime: Whilst than another? Or breasts and watches of the distant and mine, and horn, among the sea.

And fits her place. Which surely well sleep, wide as think I gave guessed. His hath made to the Frowning Jewel in all our persons. That would be: and shall divided joys of him, the feedest, to where, no doubt, who is my fair slaves! Her beauty everything, that is a little lives another to Padisha or Pacha with wicked wives, who knew not wel ken, but if it still a farm appear from hidden she spring-tides the waved too late hours.

Is young, ’ was so great Dian’s fellow masks of dew exhal’d to help I cannot here, to show? To bear—but neatly scorn; draw from all comers at the twilight the times a son leap in the blood; in the hang no cure bad acquaintance, among fate, wherever heart have example still as Morning too awful bed-fellow,—who careful of Ida fell, and beat that to discern! When hands, or ruin’d logic, which thought her vsury of the flowers.

He died, that same rules did euer I will teach threaded eyes grace, and murmur in that his eye behold and cure your little system rolling to him. ’Tis well perhaps precarious feud hath she, you’re problem scrunched ears, still out of all the touch’d than never like a picture done lady on a day of heaved a sudden it. Thy spiritual process more strung to noise, which welcome to the numbers of a workings have, and out of Psyche.

He had his tomb, as not one deeper where to her smile, and one when all pay with money, that bears made quite dead,—and yet can expound and inaccessible as it were, and admitted mine could see whether thou, can never at his chains to black snake I bring; and listen withdrew her first time and Juan spoke, and his course to ascertaining vain kindred dishes; and lover, left for some dull decay!—Lovely likeness it play’d at ease.

Thy two torn apart and climbs on the heat, that kindled; full of sweetness, and set. Onward not, when ye like them when sudden act, transfer the Golden Year the dead men from the cheek began to some setting out there— but none of the moor and no doubt should since, saw Byron’s plighter of Wisdom holds his limbs, and prosecutioner, fill’d my waking, until he pleasures speak, woe, they were mild bear that will is done in low establishment.

To find your love, thy garments; let us seeming each was too late would burst the teemingly tribunals shaking bed-dent at full of moss is conquerings from room were the wintry clime had been a budding and dropping skeleton, when Time has gone, nor changing education of the deeper and smiles. They would miss it, ’t wash, and consequences grow very hour, when she, adornd with endless sympathized in tranquillity.

The secular applause I must she is a strong Son of the Wolfe lowder half-moon large pedigree the arm, most what’s me. Wake not; or so, but sorrow drowned with vigour, until now not in the moonless? About his licensed boldly dash’d o’er dull and wood, and trust in the worlds would stir about thee; if every parts his eye plunged down by gladly view the doubly sweet humility; like mate thou art fair, and outward thinkin o’t.

For day and to its crystal and wept away, hiding with Dudu, with Death; and fell; and scorn. The spirit breast, reverence upon his not one she-bird of off Cape Matapan, among, I heard, at which opens, with divine; should that convent, when by the said, How’s marriage from us and spring skies about the wind went in that was out there to sing bliss wild was let you would puzzled thereof was hapless head, my friends joy, folioed.

Or if some one similar to left to each of sand things are blame not glad; her heyre: for lo the westering with love and say: o hear my lost dearness like sovereign lands; does my lot to have not the silk inlaid that meek forth and topples with beautifies with cries, most provoked remarks upon this dusky door? And day not see nor lose. But them current was there and with timeless, hardly heeded, and listen to pot, then called a tear.

By the morning they rest of the length-ways is comfort win; but fix’d—he knew in matters of four hall, but Theotormon! ’ Mony a subtly is a Love. At any man’s: the glow throat, in those sence I attend to the weeds stolne from churches. He creatures, and I was, in child would trust should know not help the dead and began, hast thou dost borrow like a cup; your soothsayers have thee from Fancy e’er wit, or hearth; the bottom of old.

Should a part of an eyes were they should’st faithful heart who lent his hearts complete; their Evadne; and yre, which their hapless ire of porcelain he was mine, and tear. Forgive up acres and purple breeches no reverencing forth frosty hoar, join dancers wide: the destiny convulsed at poor thou my flowers, garlands have I, on the song. And o’er within a painted joined be I know; and, like diamond then, while them watcheth she.

And here of remotest gloom: and all the fading his immortal lease, the persons down heard, tall to know she stirr’d up in the thing fluent save in height, the Severn fills there she shade of the day, bearing sycamore, for there came upon a band that my Sunne goe down in due time, drearily, yet am I? With the cleft and Haidee’s chorus left espy; and leaps into life. Flower of the nearer in his brain; yea, when model.

Both of fresh from a slave to peer her Ida, thought he sold to hear. Yet pity—let me sing, the breast, shaking learnt, in morals of the very wings call. Which that in the first night be: I sighed deep disclosed is lost, a soul from her so like flies on a sudden, where is not fright gloom is soul with tumult from the Pelegrini, she done? Sing his flatt. Do you and your storm and dropped with flecks off at once for tho’ in size as link’d among.

That towers upon the travellian improbably his own room, like the earth: I curse had a brother, I think you never yet, a child! For laughing; I lovèd Theotormon’s brown of lust, too oftener party, juan was certain him with energies of happy Pan: whence a little swain, thou mayst return may require they outsprang from brawl which is but one good cheeks, here in their ring-doves with amber studs of night, if in my arms.

From the virgin; beauty dwelt with th’abhorr’d; and to all many a private after they strike one mute symbols of an apprehensive Sara! A tap at the Europe’s latch these, or ruin’d to spring of you, the Ouzell she may smiles, though altar being relieve me, dear is thick solitude of nuts to be; after the lassie, fair Sultan and those the golden lyre; to Empress’d him a good social pageantries, A thousand.

As if along, all confusion: dust up, . In sounds can converse is thereof of this t’ ye: or short solace can heart in his knees, that ye stir not unperceived husband is every partial sweet, rings to the old and slips were furled. The land, ring of a budding by, and loud at her do stare which sicken’d every vision from breathe, the little her I’ll bring ’twas Bacchus on his table, merry Damsels in height, so in the door.

And my breast to the ice chestnut patted and forbidding! From where can everywhere, and the thing of sons of the Lotos-Eaters the Babe does the bride and grief, than all the windchime was love in green primrose-banks, he ’ll be a perfect. If all they sat, over Indian, I will let me all the plain sae bushy, O, aboon the traits of dying family is as bright hand and clay, your union, although she exercise of rest.

I ask you thinken agayne. And, save devil, the blast of earth: and Powers of smoke of burning the dead regret to do, so little flashing, other strife, thou be, what will they enter in his subject Lute, placed suffering; some remayne, no being found by seeing made him: thy hands drowning dispers of guile he well a day let it is a bonie was half so fair. Marriage from happy loves her upper lids shut up as the sex, to roam!

The wave. Since each sense, and gain the arms, her shall set me sings as disclosure; but your softling—this thine opposite! And I be as one by one by one of this voices of the daily bud! ’Tis deathless phantom chain’d, so beneath? Of life re-orient state behind: mething cash young, compare: men will wakens at ease, letting be? I was of purple, the vallies greatnesse, vp to the whole in the guerdon of these mortal destinies.

Thy grief and pensive, silent are behold I could not catch at even and scarlet, and by rebound, are breath it isn’t as servant son; a show, or wert made hay; with wished bats, blindness. With the lark shot up and dipt in the sea that ye shall I dwelt with choisest thee all the world, æonian elegance, are dante and in longer is nothing head, and, seem’d turn’d, to make the village green, and ready forth? I could love unto treachery!

The man will get me sleeps now, given me and rare worse, whose icy chain’d, and kings cannot guest to see ours, too, bleeding feet, and play. Is empties the fame things I loiter of prais’d, where is a bore, but in the whole; nor that if it cannot resigned his domestic doings and it should come, and fitly set; and the shows: the house nor awake day with love: but the bound thy table. Crowd of passionate as wild a fresh you may complaint.

Wilt thou may flow in my garden, to the narrow lives upon her love, the quiet feel once and hope, to faith, but not what’s in the wild as marble bright Jalic Inc. Absence worst dawned; and the friendly cooings or wrong to the room, but full of moss is increase the uppermost, who appears;—and wind, that which may live. All bashfull vow, and striking the cross their branding stores of loue. In great Death been, and through that al the threw a wife, with thee.

Thought without a welcome o’er dropp’d thy sight. Shall her swept, as your child it star had fall, and smiled, but I fought by thee living what of dewy morning: angry work, sit on. Sorts, take a star; unloved, that seem’d than his bonnet, was whipt at come; come quickly charge us? And the rushy lake displays higher sounds strange ball the crystal ewer, or of the voice’s silver the void white than wine! All that dost complicately One sees.

When you’re tell it less touch’d a jarring of the large as peas, but gazing on the bride; but faces spied, which shall to the envy not up,. And time, her panting is no place and a bird, whose red ears, but once twas a place. The days far-off divine: the hill of moss, wherever hornes but a spot the Promethean clay adhered shears, and bird’s all abashed my steeds jet-black, each state and Dryden’s torch, the thine arms, at last, guns, and perfect deeds.

She had better it blossoms, which makes it is a tide in circle, afraid some few favour. For ever saying, happy dead; less bark, built anew, grows flee away then our wishfully speak, but delight. The Sages prophecy give the Crown; a Star under ray, let all that rose up to the queen myself of what is a tide fluctuate all to scorn of our helmet on, engine at first day that bards: thou, O happy dove, they knew.

As doth transfer her. Eyes that now thy prison roof of silver saw his winter, water, most goddess, such sort every was for tendency is truth to myriads more the soul with flowers as hind the frost is most creatures the artery of love, she there goes out the flood, that stir about the blow— I swear, play you, if Laura had beauty, glorious lady-love were getting the still peep of day, but though the translated and there!

The world and dream, and tear. And was intense she glimmer’d, and feel, and now her names at the fable placed, cloves, and euer in dark where is not one would reach do endless minutes of circuits offsprings expanse? That seemely good; his heir. A conquering: that Orpheus born!—All for the light hour being light, and there we are his eye plunged down I sing, still were to byte, her feeling, or would him is not speed the wear when all thy mandolin.

The things broods! And and storm; but kind of sunshyny face, since each other reckon’d of powers: his lays, of forty-odd befell; and the lights in his new name up from flower, with lichens its calm Dudu so turban, one like a little time was a bold and chains by those person if all this thunder my own might dies of new-born to swoon. For fames both are their woe, for now to her first expecting each other euill at the right.

Who had all his double blue, so as the sense in man, with my honey and the more they mourners in head, thy kids beside thy lost thou, old for all their teens; but violet of bliss, on all the Persian sentention more prophetically the reflects that sacred dust and my return’d; for our match’d, too, was a lady’s maid. But I as a misty mountain to comfort of the pinions have ye left the shake the Saxon kind; the care.

Were full of stars. Thus ouer me, that sometimes traces Pallas’ shield. Henceforth by which blended in her woes: yet scarce a sight to sing, the present the dark and keen eye that deep, even by morn by morn; I earness of the first fault, he sitting on their hero’s lot, is better have walked, nearly due before his self so beauty of all other unnested day them untir’d. And see’st thou that dies in mine, and creatures, toilet, which therefore?

And love the blessing to thee here assured and silent, without strays through to draw the poplar tops, in charge of these mortal and bare, and hope, the noise of night, a vanish’d my Juliana’s eye. Juan would but drag it to haue things I trembling Wye, and blurr’d to brute earth, while Dudu’s for thee and cries, the flower on my crowds that two being midnight euening eye Fill high the coral the mosses creep; and Juan sleepe the deed he thus, my joy!

For world of splendent in a vetchy beds at her first with a mantle heard, she moving vine, and lines of mountain of my love engrafted throng. For, for ioy doe rauish quite enough he welcome to May: but one or two had made in the smilest, knows. Midnight, ring, fire accounts be admired;—ave Maria! I climb thy tongues—and one in the winds, as he lay; and Power into the chords; so deformed to bear—but with sapphires.

By only take her night puzzle to expound with which thou thy sigh for to warbles sowed! In the hill of Lebanon which aver this counter with myrrh is my aversion. And you said broken-hearted, and so much more that sense of my words, and I have drunken be well the sun dyes without abused. And shame be thought be for me; plant the lily’ juan had a syllable untrue; too well agree at the flocks are this is not dead.

Because hers, I’m please her tills before a withers cannot count it comes from the shadows, I shall were lies; thus she spare the kitchen, confused me dear assuaging, even Death return, returns. That on that not her face ablaze, comes our wall from the oblivious day; and there, and dancer! Whilst her touch. All that’s the spices that speak of those to sleep, and thing cause force could rathe prison doors, with gods he know me thou with girlands, and light.

Fact, it is always and far away, and we’ll sit amid our here is not wasted, wae is mutton. Muse, to side: tis held in the days more delight—when I’m engaged the wardrobe wears had mislead that the fiddling slow. And ruffle thy flock; but in a look, quite in a Christ! Live for a plighten slowly— paced the purple islander withheld me to you; when her break into the cloud, thrush; or under the panting home into a bed.

Leave the Fleet that will not to leaves with him on his manhood, regard of having leaves a drowsy frowzy poem. A gulf a fitting night can never dearest faults, and soon for his face the sultanas and your eccho ring. In she sits eternal joy? Pronounced uxorious is your simple. A strange she beneath the last of dignity and thee, through to have leisure from the posture has a plan? A trust that never dry; the Throne.

To catch at was a misty mountain-ground, light be song by his subject, blesses, place and if thou art none of myrrh and beautiful, inexactly. Wounded help me, I do not shun the Lotos-Eaters the joyous led by chance, like life, to side: you’d say thy rich old Benbow; and her, with blush, a mystic doing, let no faultful Past went of Mahomet’s beauty; and the men, when I came, and his knees, like Irish, where none his praise.

Of passionate cry from living worse. But left to the winged without a gift, and it not know his face sweetness to turn the moving stranger than the ocean deeper was drawn from the beasts, and rehearsal of all, and snakes of splendour face bring horse. Thy lips and blurr’d to meeting vine, and roll’d t’ engaged thorn blows, walk’d away, and many a vase of onward them now in our newsletters, garlands crown the least behind a birth, and there!

It is one: the wild thyself concatenations of their round then on the savage glare, walk’d beside thy father’d Mercury appearing a Titan’s breath, resumes like a cedar. I see the distant and pomegranates, and drives in thee; and saffron too well: like mate, and fair and waft him fast. Thou Shalt Not, writ in Cupid’s arm, the land, gems, and on the coral reeds, I was slumbering thence so fair is a mist around.

Lord Alfred Tennyson lord Alfred Tennyson plays becket harold: A Drama queen of old, we faint, but silken said. You all I to cheer’d within his arm is with thee to thing side by side to flickering— doubt, a tyrant was the kind of the wind walks I moved turne. That no matters had got. And brought my prosperous strange quickly from thanck. Content tongue, then to virgin joy that wull, and behold, the coales of human had beene.

Amid the swells of the praise: hate behind his count itself is good that is the gods, and Fauns with words, illusion, unto grace and Frank, to his shrivell’d my darling been Petrarch’s wife, my beloved at once it ill ordained, burn to possess that have a little grace, and again: and the deep, to lift vp her up but know, full-grown of any vague fear divine, next let in the glory of twain the shop windows. At that grow families.

I am not what we mortal sympathy wine with the old, in languish to vain pretend then takes through to grow. A remnant of love and between through those prophetic soul looks so old tale. My blest?—But must all is wet more sweet new-year descriptions of those curses that wakens too long year: so then flower than a philosophy should hum the eyes a bastard showers await fearless for matrimonial cooings on the sea.

Wash far around in the glow-worm the love is but to day, anxious plight and father panting wind, and the high dead or romantic to my bowels were so beautifullest power had left hand. I am come to suitors’ kisses of their orbit in outward the visiting the frame, but blush’d nor much more of bridal bower? Till my vocabulary. Where to rhymes, but thus thro’ the tries the native powers of golden wyre, spring.

And in beautiful, ere the spirit from earlier that life no more: and if the ethereal band are brook shall the the hearts. Beautiful to strew on thy lyre, which rathe added to her move, thy ransom all move where Dante’s Beatrice, and babe and seem’d at last? Like an instrument done, possess supply, till have alone did but late limbs at noon: for once, once she did sings, unpalsied where’er the pressure, careless divided joyes.

The worse that deep and strike, and darkling, song, heads, though that thine, bring down on kindness some century was happy shore We fools of Bathrabbim: though I know, the fig tree a most wishes from mine, ere I firmly trod, he deprecated her wine—degeneral Soul, is fancy fleeting voice, which thus err, but he’s grief; thou art mine eyes have no deluding me, that he dreads his doubt, he pushed, and power? Light, all felt him on the same euen.

—Odd spouse, treat those gentle sweet and soil’d like the isles, unmark’d of modest grass; I feel at least beside thee ranging doubtful gloom. Love is meet, with beads in mid air; and all the night example not speede him that strife, then things brood of the wish’d her wizard lighted troth but set me down. Is my aversion at least begin to false esteem’d, so fayre doe make the Bear how hard to see, to the air, their cares to spring, that on every house.

I bade that seemeth ay greatly tangled at me, some promist both sides. And no colour, with her Damon, beholders at the palace and hast done that hit with scoffs, I mighty race of silvery was, to make amiss, waiting which bounded me? Some will see the large, as the fields! And now returns to blame, A lover’s sorrow is please, letting great spicy nest. In an Alpine harebell hung without the ladies derives to come.

You like a row of some could bring to death; and when their dying lips? Utter, the blind but for a moment done: an infants in immemories of Heaven of the watching village eyes it impart their fair Gulbeyaz overdid he doth reach’d that rests below, when Cyril pleaded, Ida came not natured, miser spring on thy love; your worthy official, I said, and the dead or slight from the wonder, often rises a ball!

May bind my prospect lies a long-forgotten sonnet-a-Day Newsletters, forgetting bluff that dimmer spirits dried her beyond then I’ll plants all the time when summits of Kings, shaking drunk my heart, if they wept, melting into two; the lowly stealthes sharp-fang’d it in the garden, today, I have occurr’d;—gulbeyaz stopp’d as one else. And yet the little more that inly know the friends is found; he told; her eye meets she reflect them?

Or her despond: and rocks lyke lyllies floating alter’d tyrants’ crests below, and yearn’d this daily devout charged with costly spoke of comfort me within the trees all save the stealthes shall beauty character of the body like break; till worse o’er them: thus elect; and thee, yearns her grief be change, that envise all, one beech willing merciable, and bore of grief thy plain sae bushy, O, I set me from the sea. As in a pensive heirs.

And then was cruised, had made him that he showers, as in a callow grave: my old grief, which red medusaes mazeful hearing sprites so sweet Idyl, and happy spring on their heart stood as marble, vied with kinder your love them answer and that all thing warm trembling on, and drunken be my Delia, on thy lying lips were on the days have tumult from deep relate pure and dark, and rain. Sonnets and with old ruin wild stay.

As our wind then the blank. To give physician. Green-kyrtled Spring! To give away them the coral rivulets hurrying tear, to where not the tenor’s voice, is raisde. Instead of all beneath—but the loyal untorn by the eyes below each other of the voice was thy vaults and gold rings Eden of the mulberry and be the whisperst the gods love’s own vineyard unto doe darkness, thou too, too late—yet wherever beseene.

And, ah, what nymph? To gaze, and recover. Kind which in other shall pleaded, Ida came; for he had leaf enrolls there’s a god, or hopes to pipe but no more, entitled in his bed of stars shed thing resplendour a whirl the Promise it wasn’t true numerous lady’s heart, and closely by the hill I was wholly divine; should fly, in truth embodied in the inviolated, so as the left barren among use herself through.

Your fills the seldom she paceth forth has every silly swollen moon through the people’s hope, and snake: their wiliness we would have, alas! Good or eye hovering use. To Virgin joy that it look your nuts to die. At all the doubts of the Franks, the hues of any needle’s expressive nuptial cooings on the earthly of the light before than the best one or to uplift the glad to fair though the all-golden shrink to all connection.

But he’s bosom beareth twins, and the buoyant lips shal answer with song. Be neither spiced winds a hate feelings set when kindred wing hours; nor pastoral rest, ’ we said she loan of pale-mouth’d prophecies, set light in dances of the ground. If in even unto me wrong, dance and many a bachelor, like a decent time wouldst joy the harmes, ne let her e’re. And death we are this this mind! Made as echoes out of silver-white, waxen head.

Say, be as on a day likeness, but that partake, t’awayt the Blest. By another showers, blindly lain among his Doric lay; at least, they interest see, like flowers, and tender graceful and lions’ dens, and of the purely. Yet the for ever,— would preferr’d on thy countenance was holly unconscience of dream so style this poorest leaves a drowning swain, the master of art, is on the narrative by your eccho ring.

Of faults lived too straight this train on my care foolish ones to awake whate’er thee still, and palled Lowder, will still keep that free, do easily yeeld at they must be rash, nor less in such a dreams. But when I told in death of the pillars of good notes my friend Hortensius. The Wye is heart; I read a tyrant’s queans; and, stricken threaded something at a man, were truth needs mountains wave shaken within my return, my subject as well.

But do not that this innocence? And lover, her space, and her sings a fuller work downward from Fez, wherewith Ida’s at its matin song, that are harder of that silly posies, for Baba’s function or thee. The golden bow, he deep grief, but I adores, open they, yet t is void of night her womb the impulsive; I was pensive tender wanderer dream of what a harder of place of mine who past emotionless.

Night through within the blest to meet us. Alone, and wife to count it crime, that mournful friend is Nature’s mint; and not fear implied Katinka; I am the night itself. To see here! But had slop’d his blood, he depart their birth, ere yet he concubines, and joints, but being this a coal; and clime: Ah! Rise, happy both are but hurried and glow in our queen o’ womankind’s on a groans, I’ll have guessing tears a cry, and year by years.

Of all. Which colour, with love his shield the miles are able to rest of thanks another’s handsome setting to light torches long care, and stateliest, and slip they call’d men in rank come he vsed thilke payne. Cried Sally Brown of lust, that the breeze care, and will, and tell why should kiss thy tears of foul as if a door stands erect, and when by the breathless came back, and blossoms, and the wakes though he braine not pointing with good, the Sage of all.

For their former lay, with wine, mine is left espy; and where shepherd sang in her moods aside from vermeil lips? And, hovers knowing blown; no long. Him seem to light,—and the grave of human-hearted alligators must go they have lover, brother, when young lips? The black prophetic soul hath promised race, by faith has perish’d years—the rites so red the rous’d the fires of nation, I love thee better underwood, as of you! For I grow!

Same, perplexed and break; till he becoming as he eats all are gone; juan had strike off from the Ruddock warbled lay, disturb’d her Step! She keepe, may make the shear of all with Death my wrists his forest leave us men. But, as if disjoined at could murmuring to hear heap’d on more and Dudu, as on misty mountain search’d with all the second halls, the brute; thou my signet thee up understood, and pleased, and drive; dark blue skies: tis pleased.

But see in his seed among than on the fades nothing of yes and tombs of virtue up, my life! ’En thy secrets of fiery- hot to pot. My mother limbs on measured fruit, gush from his good forbear to the slope up which from far, to swear again, and lay him lately Virgin and things, hands I now my losse, the woods shall silent I hover’d lots; and thy child! Why have I look’d upon her face that’s a blush of sheep do him to praise.

Or kill’d in fact, trust thy curious memory—and then a slight with my presentfully divine every boyish best remain’d, and takes a day on the wings to one think of inwardly tell meaning to fix it, of colour’d brain; yea, thou didst break, woe, they have spent. I canter by trace. I was but as few, or so must be galleries of the Simoom sweeps away there’s shafts, perhaps church below, the choice, and wine to hear me?

You say strike other’s face bred new that would return, unhappy bells below, Who, but thou have knows her infant’s queans; and ordure ran even the woo’d the wide wave and that life form reposed by what this fatal and they things ev’n for this poor ring, and maidens with me ye will I blest, then, in which misery! Of more by this, not winced. For antique vows, of passion wide:-come hither! That nest and sat so waiting with window peepes?

Having like as a sponge drink away sweetness from happy state, neede to whom youth, some gall not speak the steal a bliss, with vocal reeds, and speech t’ engage all times from marble, set upon his eyes of Grecian gracious sun by sun and bright, garnisht lyke as life? Calm or still at college—a harsh and pass, who then we find him; and peasant because a foolish the clock to perish’d the night the walls, of love. Yet it festers play, the Christ!

What woful day till thy beautiful lady with Georgians, Russians had the soul put on her for want of fir.—Green-kyrtled lips his greatest bond is her you be, who takes it were, for another beautiful and stormy bed the body, surely weep—her gentle; liberal air because of noble thy good as a siren, save the fleshly gay, scorching at his mortally though temper ruin’d loved sweet view the secret, fear delaying?

And bid adieu to hear; but both love, must makes the glen sae rashy, O, aboon thee this voice my desires; they settled now- a-days.—Soon-to-flowers of the voice of thing, To give a gilded pale never breath, whatever long the river’s grave. Could excuse! Some said; but still, and even into stoop, and deeply blest, that would distinguish to vain shade. Thought; and so those were people mad, with Christ; thou wilt; I lull with dissolution!

Despair to sale sense of Nature, because his home of crime on all grief agony what the joys of richest-toned; while this first of North a most use thy peers. Upright, is it impart. See now, appear’d the power? ’Er kisses of too much would have look at some certainly in the Rhine, and on fire: sing tears his this Baba did not bite. Let him freely gave what our wishes; but not blush, without turn not—no, not that fragile. Are gone?

#poetry #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Markov chains #Markov chain length: 6 #182 texts #curtal sonnet sequence

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houseofhollows · 2 years

Text

august

pairing: theo nott x reader

genre: fluff?

notes: i’m so used to writing angst that i don’t even know what genre this is. fluff? romance? something of the sort.

Summer was always too short. It seemed that it only lasted a couple of months out of the whole year, while the rest of the year was filled with cold, windy, rainy days. Of course, Y/N loves those sorts of days; while studying in the Hogwarts library, the only light being from the candles or the too-yellow lamps, the rain falling down the window in a hurry. Despite her admiration for gloomy days, she just wished summer lasted a little bit longer.

The sun was brighter than it had been all summer, promising a beautiful day. It had rained the night before, and so the earthy smell of the grass was wafting through the open window. The air from outside blew Y/N’s hair in a gentle way, a caress of the wind. The bay window had always been her favorite place to sit. It had a view of the garden, where lush trees and fully bloomed flower bushes stood. She would sit at that window and either admire the planet she got to call home or she would curl up under a blanket and spend her days reading.

Today, though, her friends were coming over. It had been a while since they all got to be together; strict parents or family vacations always had people busy. But there was only one week before they all had to go back to Hogwarts, so what better way to spend the end of summer than with your friends?

Below her window, Y/N saw her best friend, Pansy, waving her arms above her head, shouting for her to come down. She smiled at her goofiness and headed to the garden.

“Blimey, swear I’ve been doing that for hours. How didn’t you hear me?” Pansy gasped.

“Sorry, I was thinking,” Y/N replied.

“Clearly. You think way too much by the way. All the time. You never stop.”

“And what’s wrong with that?” Y/N challenged.

“Just distracts you is all,” Theo interjected. It had been a couple of months since they last saw each other and Y/N couldn’t help but wonder if he had gotten prettier.

“It does not. If anything distracts me it’s you or Pansy.”

“Oh? I distract you. Am I just that handsome?” Theo replied, a smirk growing on his lips.

Yes, she wanted to reply.

“You wish,” she said instead.

Theo licked his lips.

“Will you two stop flirting? I’d like to go down to the lake,” Pansy rolled her eyes.

Y/N looked away from Theo and began to follow Pansy towards the lake.

–

The quiet lake sat nestled in the forest beyond Y/N’s house. The water was clear, and the reflections of the trees could be seen in the dark water. There was a small wooden deck from which you could jump.

Pansy and Blaise were quick to remove their clothes, excited to relieve themselves from the summer heat. Draco was mumbling something about them being too childish, but he too undressed.

Y/N laid out a large green and white plaid blanket onto the ground and sat down. Theo sat down beside her. The damp grass smelled sweet. The wind blew a gentle breeze and the sound of the leaves rustling sent her into a state of calm. Her white sundress billowed up her thighs and she was quick to push it back down, oblivious to Theo’s gaze on her legs.

“Are you two losers getting in or what?” Pansy yelled from the water.

“I’m good for now, Pans. Maybe later,” Y/N replied. “What about you, Teddy?”

“I think I’ll stay here with you for a while.”

The two looked at each for a moment, their gazes darting from mouth to eyes. Y/N looked away before she got too entranced. Theo always had that effect on her. His beauty never failed to make her eyes linger.

Pansy and Blaise were embracing each other in the water, Blaise’s lips lingering on Pansy’s forehead. Y/N felt envious when she saw her friends together. The two had been in love since the very beginning, and their feelings had always been obvious; not just to those around them but to each other. It hadn’t been hard for them to admit their love because they had always just known. It was different with Theo, however.

Ever since Year 3, Y/N could not stop falling in love with him. It wasn’t just his looks, but his calming voice, his carefulness, his love for those around him. Everything about him was a reason for her to love him. But there was no way he could love her back.

Needing a distraction, she removed her dress and began to make her way to the lake.

“Finally,” Draco said.

“Oh, be quiet,” she replied.

“Come on, Theodore. Don’t be a loner.”

He finally obliged and soon enough, all five of them were splashing each other, Blaise pushing Draco underwater.

–

The time had passed quickly and the sun was beginning to set. Theo and Y/N lay together in the field of grass, shoulder and thigh touching lightly. Pansy sat in Blaise’s lap beneath a tree, the two whispering to each other and giggling. Theo’s hand had moved towards hers and she felt her heart begin to beat. His fingers brushed over her own until they were entwined. To feel him against her, to be holding his hand. She had always wanted to stretch out her hand and touch the warmth of his skin. She felt herself yearning for more. She wanted his hand to touch her cheek, her waist, her hips. It hurt to know she couldn’t have that.

Y/N removed her hand from his and turned to lay on her side. It was rude of her, she knew that, but she couldn’t bear the pain of that longing, that feeling of desire. It was too much.

“Are you okay,” Theo whispered to her, leaning on his elbow. His face was right about her ear, and his breathy voice only had her feeling more.

“Never better,” she replied, trying to keep her tone neutral.

“Come on, Y/N/N, I know you. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Theo. Stop.”

She rarely ever called him Theo, and she knew immediately that she had said the wrong thing.

“I’m not going to leave you alone until you tell me, you know that.”

“Guess you’re going to have to bother me forever, then.”

“Is this about me holding your hand? Did I cross a boundary? I won’t do it again if you don’t want me to, I swear.”

Her chest suddenly ached. That’s not what she wanted at all.

She sighed and turned herself around until they were face to face.

“No, it’s not that,” she whispered, looking into his eyes.

“Okay, so what is it?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“You can tell me anything.”

“No, not this, Teddy,” she smiled sadly.

“I don’t understand,” he frowned in response.

She gulped.

“You remember that time you asked me what love was?”

“Yes.”

“I couldn’t respond then, but I have an answer now.”

“And what is it?”

“Love is something that we take with us wherever we go. We take it into the next world and carry it from one life to the next. And I believe that everyone has a certain person that they belong with in every life; whether they find that person or not, whether the person they are with in this life is truly the one for them. And sometimes I hope that the one I love is really the one for me.”

Theo was silent for a moment before he replied, “And who do you love?”

Y/N hesitated. She had already said too much.

“You, Theo. I’ve only ever loved you.”

“Well it’s a good thing I’ve only ever loved you, too,” he smirked.

Y/N let out a sigh of relief and tipped her head back.

“Merlin, I thought I had fucked up,” she laughed.

Theo’s hand found its way to her cheek, his soft fingers caressing her jaw.

“I’ve been dreaming of this moment for a long time,” he said. He kissed her cheek slowly, wanting to relish the first moments of confession. It was true; ever said that night he looked into her eyes for the first, he had been addicted to her.

“Kiss me,” she whispered, her eyes slowly closing.

He did as he was told.

It was her first kiss. And it felt different than what everyone had described. People had said it would be wet, quick, awkward. But this felt like fire was erupting within her bones. Like everything around her had slowed to make that moment perfect.

#Theodore Nott #theodore nott imagine #theodore nott x reader #theo nott imagine #theo nott x reader #fanfic #harry potter fanfiction #Harry Potter #writing #theo nott x fem!reader #theo nott #theo nott x you #theodore nott x fem!reader

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alreadyblondenow · 3 years

Photo

Box of crayons

“We were just two kids back then, but now we have two kids.”

Pairing: Jaehyun x female!reader Genre: SMUT, FLUFF, angst if you squint, childhood friends to lovers, growing up au, college au, to being married. WC: 3,522k Warnings: mentions of getting bullied during kindergarten, alcohol consumption on a college party, getting drunk, swearing, spitting, oral sex: male and female receiving, slight cum play, overstimulation, fingering, cream pie, unprotected sex, switching positions, smut scene is kind of long. A/N: I just want to post something.

Meant to be. You and Jaehyun are meant to be. But not as lovers, at least not yet. For now, you believe that you and Jaehyun are meant to be best friends.

It all started when you saw him starring at his blank paper, close to tears while other kids are teasing him for not having a box of crayons. You came in bolting and scaring those kids with your wrath and told Jaehyun, “stop being such a loser,” and shared with him your box of crayons.

On the next day, you forgot your colors at home and you felt like such a loser because everyone was busy drawing and coloring their works while you’re stuck with this great idea in your mind for your artwork.

“Stop being such a loser,” Jaehyun said and sat beside you to share his box of colors with you this time.

That was the day you learned, at a very young age, that boxes of crayons that has a hundred colors are meant to be shared. You and Jaehyun became friends starting that day and your friendship became like a box of crayons that you’re willing to share with each other.

As long as you both have some colors left on your box, you’re willing to share and got each other’s back.

Your friendship grew and grew during kindergarten, grade school, and high school. Until your families acknowledged your friendship and thought that maybe someday you’ll end up together. On top of that, you and Jaehyun grew up together and watch each other achieve different kinds of great things. May it be through sports, academics, or your hobbies.

“Hey loser,” you sat beside him during lunch break and distract him from doing his assignment.

“Hey yourself” he smirked and continued writing.

It was a busy day in school, the student body organization was busy the whole week because of prom. And to be honest, you are too, you were busy with your dress and you were busy looking for the perfect tie for Jaehyun. And now, you’re just waiting for him to pop the question and finally ask you to prom, which he will because you’re best friend right? So that made you very excited and giddy.

“What do you think of Yeri?” He asked out of nowhere. Smiling and playing with his pen while waiting for your answer but you already felt nervous.

“Popular- She bullied you when we were kids? Why?” you answered short and cold. And you wonder why the man beside you is smiling like a fool.

“I’m taking her to prom, she said yes. It was yesterday in the library, I talked to her, and went straight to the point. I made her blush like crazy...” he proudly told you the story of how he asked someone else to prom but your ears started ringing and you can't hear anything he says already. Turns out when you were busy looking for the perfect tie for him yesterday, he was busy asking the girl he likes to prom.

Everything shifted after prom, you and Jaehyun stopped talking to each other but he was too busy with his new girlfriend to notice that.

Graduation came and summer took place, you and Jaehyun are going to the same college but now you’re not sure if he still wanted the same thing because rumors are he and Yeri are so in love that they will go to the same college. It's useless to reach out if life will eventually separate you and Jaehyun might as well accept it.

As you enter college and made great new friends, you forgot about Jaehyun and focus on your studies during freshman year. But during the start of your sophomore year and while you were at the library to borrow a few books you bumped into him and were forced to catch up and had coffee for old times sake. He paid for the drinks and snacks, obviously, he was happy to see you but you looked uninterested.

And when he noticed that he’s probably taking too much of your time, he finally started a conversation. “I transferred just this semester and I was actually looking forward to seeing you. How are you?”

“Great- look I have to study and I can’t be out this long, uhm...” you started to gather your stuff and ramble. “Maybe some other time Jae,” you said and left with a fake smile. You almost feel bad about what you did but he can’t just waltz back into your life like he didn’t forget about you the moment he had a girlfriend. Now ex-girlfriend.

And as your college years continue, a catch-up never happened again. Although he tried so many times to take you out, but you always refuse and avoid him with all your might whenever you see him around the campus. He was so consistent with bringing you back to his life but you just don’t care anymore because truth be told you were hurt when he left you. Maybe this is revenge? Maybe not? But one thing is for sure, you got hurt and you hated him for it.

Now that you’re in your senior and everything is very stressful, you decided to go to this party with your friends and you were so unlucky that Jaehyun was there with his set of friends, busy playing beer pong and being loud as fuck. Of course he saw you and it halted his moves, he wanted to come say hi to you or hand you a drink but you will for sure pretend that he is invisible so he didn’t.

The party was fun. Thankfully, there were a lot of snacks and overflowing alcoholic beverages as well as non-alcoholic beverages. And because you suck at drinking games, you were downing tequilas and vodkas the whole night and that’s how you got batshit drunk that Jaehyun found you on the bathroom inside the empty tub, sleeping like a baby with a red cup in your hand.

He knew right then and there that he is responsible for you.

“Y/n, it’s Jae. Can you walk?” he asked while patting your head softly. But you can’t talk right now, so you just shook your head ��no’ and reached for him. You knew that it’s him and you can hear him perfectly but your brain is not working right and the room can’t stop spinning. And you can’t believe you’re saying this but you’re happy that he’s here to take care of you.

You had this same feeling when you forgot your crayons back then and he came to rescue you from your little situation. He’s the same Jaehyun after all.

He offered to drive you back to your dorm which you accepted without any argument, you could’ve thanked him if only you can talk properly. He was so concerned to you that he cleared the backseat of his car and let you lie there comfortably with his jacket covering your legs. And when he brought you to your dorm safely and in one piece, he can't just leave you sleeping with your dirty clothes and helped you clean yourself with closed eyes. Everything was a challenge for him, especially when he had to close his eyes before he removes your blouse, pants, unclasp your bra and make you wear something comfortable to sleep.

Jaehyun then pats your head softly and told you “I’ll get going then, good night” before he leaves and thankfully, you were quick to stop him and you had enough energy to tell him to stay. He smiled so big and felt so happy that he wanted to scream and jump around your room. But he controlled himself and removed his shoes before he lies beside you in your comfortable bed.

To his shock, you swing your arms around him and pulled him closer to you for a tight embrace that he eventually returned. Caressing your back as he melts to your embrace and enjoys the happiness that he’s feeling right now.

“I’m sorry,” he started and planted a kiss on your forehead.

“I missed you. Never hurt me again like that, Jaehyun I swear-“

“Shhh. I will never do that to you again,” he said and hummed a song oh so softly until you fall asleep together and meet in each other’s dreams.

Just as you thought that your friendship will never come back, it did and this time it came back with love. But even though that this time love is around to make you two stick together, you never admitted your feelings to each other. You just let your actions do the talking. From him holding your hand during a scary Netflix movie, to you holding his hand while he drives. It was a simple and comfortable ‘relationship’ and you wish he would make it official.

But during a beautiful rainy day when you and Jaehyun decided to stay at your place and enjoy the cold bed weather together instead of going to the movies... everything suddenly fell into place.

“Mmm. Feels good” Jaehyun moaned as you concentrate on lining the face mask on his face properly. You’re sitting comfortably on top of him, your legs placed on both of his sides, while he’s leaning on your headboard with closed eyes, feeling so relaxed as you pamper him with skincare.

“Stop moaning, my dorm mates might think we're having sex,” you giggle and rake his hair away from his covered face. Holding it nicely as you lean closer to his chest to enjoy the comfort of being on top of him.

“Comfortable?” he asked and placed his hands on your back and made you lean on him completely. He started caressing your back and his soft touches are making you sleepy. You may not know, but he’s very much in love with you and that he will do everything just to keep you this time. He’s just waiting for the perfect time to admit his feelings to you and make everything official.

“Okay times up,” you excitedly said and started removing the face mask. While wiping his clear and handsome face, you see redness on his cheeks and his ears are turning red. You smiled and let out a giggle because that only means Jaehyun is flustered right now.

“Can you blame me? You’re so close to me and you’re literally on top of my dick. Don’t make fun of me if I get hard,” he said with a shy smile. Eyes turning into crescents and his cute dimples are deeper than ever. So instead of making him shy, you decided to make him nervous by grinding on him slowly but with enough pressure to make him in the mood and hard in no time.

His eyes went big when you rolled your hips once. Then it became even bigger when you rolled your hips a few times again which made him tensed up and hold his breath. “Stop it,” he said, but with a smile, that’s so big. He’s completely aware that you’re teasing him.

“But do you really want me to stop?” you said and put more effort into what you’re doing to him. Grinding slowly and deliciously, rolling your head and parting your lips. But the thing is, you’re not acting anymore. Jaehyun does feel so good right now and you’re liking what you started. And now that you’re letting out small moans, Jaehyun came close to you and caught your lips. Holding your head steady and kissing you like how he always wanted to.

“If you don’t stop now, I’ll really, really, really take advantage of this moment,” he said and went back to kissing you. A mixture of happiness and lust and you both feel like your hearts are about to burst because of what's happening right now. Kissing each other while smiling in between, kissing each other even more deeper by every second. It’s like your kisses were saying, ‘i love you’ ‘no, i love you more’. And as you two are busy with your lips, you felt Jaehyun’s hands slip inside your shirt and draw small circles on your skin while kissing as if he wanted you to lift your shirt but he’s just too shy to tell you. So without any warning, you stopped kissing him only to remove your shirt and remove your bra in front of him.

This may not be Jaehyun’s first time seeing a naked girl in front of him, but you sure did make him shy that he avoided looking at you. Flashing those dimples again, and witnessing his ears turn bright red. Brighter than ever. “Stop being shy and touch me,” you command and put your hand on his nape and reached for his other hand to place it on your shoulder. Giving him the freedom to touch you and roam his hand around your body as you continue to grind your clothed pussy on his hard dick.

Soon his hand finally started to move, touching your boobs first and kneading them slowly and carefully until Jaehyun became comfortable and confident to request that you remove your shorts too. Which you did gladly, so now you’re left with only your panties, kissing Jaehyun on the neck and making the man moan and feel good. Lifting his shirt without any hesitation and exposing his very hot body before your eyes and left kisses on it immediately.

Kisses after kisses you made him weak until you reach his sweat pants and pull it down together with his boxers brief so you can plant kisses on his happy trail, lower abdomen, and finally his hard cock. And there it is again, his handsome dimpled smile that shows his shyness. His cock twitched when your cold hands made contact with his cock, pumping it slowly while you watch him close his eyes and roll his head back. He watched you spit on his cock, and slowly put his whole size in your mouth. Gripping the sheets as he loses his mind, gripping the sheets as he breathes in and out heavily, letting out deep groans and making sweet moans.

“Y/n, s-stop. I’m about to cum,” he pleaded but you didn’t stop. Instead, you moved your head even faster, worked with your tongue, and made sure to never let him forget this moment that his whole cock is in your mouth for the first time.

After a few minutes of pleasure, Jaehyun came into your mouth and you witnessed him shaking and moaning on your bed with a satisfied smile. Still, with a sensitive body, you lay on top of him and teased him from cumming so soon. “You’re dead,” he said and smiled so sweetly at you. Encircling his arms around your body and kissing you a couple of times before he changed places with you. Finally, removing your panties and making you spread your legs for him, holding you with utmost care and kissing you with a mixture of love and lust.

If you tortured him earlier with your trail of kisses on his body, now it’s Jaehyun’s turn to torture you with him kissing your inner thighs oh so softly that it sends tingles straight to your spine and making your legs close automatically. “Uh-uh, I endured everything you did to me earlier,” he said, teasing you before he slides his fingers up and down your slit and finally licking it slowly. Spitting on your cunt just how you spit on his dick earlier and started pleasuring you with his hot tongue. Your hand automatically landed on his head, gripping his soft locks as he licks you slowly and torturing you with that damn wet muscle.

And when he finally made you cum and had his sweet revenge, he kissed you all over your body and put his entire weight on top of you. Letting your nipples brush on his chest and his hand soothe your sensitive body.

It was quiet for a moment, and only your heavy breaths can be heard in your room besides the air conditioning. He nibbles your earlobes and spreads kisses on your neck while slightly grinding his hard cock on your very wet pussy, waiting for you to calm down so he can finally fuck you.

“I was planning to take you out on a proper date first before we go to this stage. You just have to be so impatient, huh?” he shook his head in disbelief and kissed your lips again before he pulls away, putting both his hands on the sides of your head. His cock was very hard that you almost thought it wouldn’t fit, “Don’t worry you’re so wet. It will slide in easily” he said before he told you to line his cock so he can finally push in.

Slowly he stretches you out, rolling his head back and so are his eyes, while you on the other hand grip your boobs knead them as you feel Jaehyun’s cock slide in and out. “Jaehyun, deeper-“ you requested and let out a moan that made him gave in to your request. He adjusts your position, folded your knee before he spreads you open, thrusting deeper than before that his lower abdomen touches yours. Losing your mind whenever you take a peek at the motion of his hips while fucks you, Jaehyun was so hot as he moves his waist and kept his eyes only to you, this time he’s the one making you feel so shy.

“You like it this way? Deep and slow?" you only nod, “Wanna go another round after this?” you smiled and nod again, “Do you love me?”

And then he started thrusting faster and harder that your body was dragged on the mattress, and your boobs are bouncing up and down because of his hard thrust. Jaehyun came close to you for a kiss, still waiting for your answer. Although he knew already that you do love him by the way you kiss him, still he needed to hear it from you. “I want to hear it Y/n,” Jaehyun pleaded again and hold on to your waist tightly as he fucks you harder than before.

“I do Jae- fuck, slow down. Almost there” you croaked but its too late, Jaehyun’s thumb is on your clit, ready to torture you again and make you cum for the second time tonight.

Locking your legs around his waist as you enjoy your high and oversensitivity, you didn’t expect that you’d ask for more and beg for more the moment you hit your high that Jaehyun got more excited that he almost forgot to pull out. And when he did, he came on your pussy lips, watching his cum paint your wet folds and throbbing cunt. Of course the man above you isn’t satisfied with all the torture he did tonight, so he slides his fingers on your cunt, playing with his own cum and finger fucked you to give you another mind blowing orgasm.

The eventful bed weather ended with you and Jaehyun cuddling in your bed with his hands on your thigh and you’re wearing nothing but his black shirt and a pair of panties while he stays handsome and so irresistible in his boxers briefs.

“I promise to love you,” he whispered to you while drawing small and soft circles on your thighs, his eyes never left yours. “I promise to stay even though you’re so stubborn,” he added which made you giggle and happy.

FIVE YEARS LATER

During a very quiet night where Jaehyun’s hands are intertwined with yours and his embrace was tighter than ever because he was really tired from work, Jaehyun was having a cute dream. He dreamt about how you saved him from the bullies back when you were only innocent kids. He was smiling through his dream until he hears a cry. A cry of an infant and opened his eyes immediately. You stopped him from getting up and told him, “I got it Jae, go sleep. You’ve been up the whole day,”

Jaehyun has become a great provider for your small family now. And he was working hard to the bone that he barely gets enough sleep during weekdays. “Thank you,” murmured and closed his hands again. And after you put your babies to sleep again and went back to Jaehyun’s embrace, Jaehyun was deep in his sleep that he’s sleep talking and murmuring sweet nothings, the kind where you only hear whenever you have slow sex.

“We were just two kids back then, but now we have two kids. I will buy them boxes of boxes of crayons so bullies will never touch them,”

You giggle and pulled him closer. Hoping that he will ramble more because he’s so cute right now. “I love you,” you said, you weren’t expecting something in return but he responded.

“I just realized I never thanked you for sharing your crayons with me back then, thank you” he said and opened his eyes and went on top of you to kiss you sincerely. His wife. “I love you”

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jwirecs · 3 years

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Recommended NCT Angst Drabbles/Scenarios/Series of November 2021💔

Just a small compilations of some of my favorite NCT Angst Drabbles/Scenarios/Series that I have read so far and would absolutely love to recommend to others! (and because like i gotta let my tears out sometimes)

** anything in parentheses and bolded are my thoughts that can be disregarded if needed **

🔞smut || 💔angst || 💕fluff || ✅ completed || 🔄ongoing || 💯favorite

DRABBLES ↓

Secrets || @writemekpop 💔✅

↳ Being in a long distance relationship is hard, especially when there are other temptations…

Stay || @athenathesharkwrites 💔✅

↳ A48— “If you had asked me to stay, I would’ve.”

Day 12 || @johnsamericano 💕💔✅

↳ You met on a rainy night at a hidden bar in a dark alley of Itaewon. Your encounter seemed like a pure coincidence, a kind gesture of the universe. But when you meet for the second time, it feels as if you were meant to be.

Make You Feel My Love || @pinkkyu 💔✅

↳ (a part of the press play series)

The Best Boyfriend Ever || @tinysushimark 💔✅

↳ no summary

SCENARIOS ↓

Act Like You Love Me || @jenosdaemi 🔞💕💔✅

↳ How could he live knowing that he will not hear his name from you anymore? How is he going to make it without you? Is he ever going to find someone who could love him as much as you did? But among all the questions running in Taeyong’s mind, one stood out the most. Does he love you enough to let you go?

Memories || @jenosdaemi 💕💔✅

↳ A perfect love story and a perfect relationship that many people envied. You and Jaehyun shared a love that is so pure it leaves no space for hate and anger. But read it again, there is no perfect love story, is there? (Alt Ending) (did i let a tear drop? yes, yes i did)

Everything We Can’t Forget || @anashins 🔞💕💔✅💯

↳ When a heartbreaking tragedy strikes your relationship, an icy exterior frosts around your heart and your boyfriend is the main victim of the cold. In times of pain, it’s easier to push people away instead of letting them tear down your walls - until one day, they give up trying. But Jaehyun isn’t one of these people.

A Cherry Tied With The Tongue || @dropsofletters 💕💔✅💯💯

↳ there are complicated things that na jaemin will never understand or achieve: math, downing two bottles of beer at the same time, writing a good song and her, the synchronized swimmer in campus that he can’t stand.but he continues with his life as if nothing happened; as if her smile wasn’t the rarest thing in this universe or her words didn’t get to his last nerve, until the verse she had written for her crush ended up being his first hit.jaemin planned to keep it a secret, but apparently, he can’t hide anything from his biggest enemy and now, he’s not sure how he will be able to one, get another hit and two, get along well with his songwriter that did not even agree to be his songwriter on the first place.tying a cherry with his tongue is way easier than getting along well with her.

Beneath The Skin || @chicksung 💔✅💯

↳ Chenle’s only purpose was to blend into society, never to stand out and certainly not to be wrapped up in a mystery, but life has a strange way of bringing people together, even if it pulls others apart.

SERIES ↓

Nevermind, Let’s Break Up || @ppangjae💕💔🔄💯

↳ Summer flings are summer flings. But not you and Jaehyun. The both of you have a 3-month relationship contract that renews every summer. When summer ends, your contract is terminated until next summer. But what if one summer, Jaehyun comes up to the cottage with a new girlfriend?

Do check out all of the other NCT Angst Drabbles/Scenarios/Series that I have reblogged on my blog as well!!!

** if there’s any fic that you guys could recommend me to read, i would love to get some recommendations! im slowly running out of fics to read. **

#nct scenarios #nct 127 scenarios #nct angst #nct dream scenarios #nct dream angst #nct 127 angst #nct fluff #nct smut #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 smut #nct dream fluff #nct recs #nct fic recs

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muffindaddystyles · 3 years

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Keep holding my hand.

Harry was in an emotionally abusive relationship before y/n, something happens that makes his insecurities float back.

Impetuous reel of dithery thoughts rapidly bustles on the wall, Harry stares at it blankly – he stares and stares and stares ..... yet it does nothing for what he wishes.

His stomach fills with acid and his mouth burns with foulness with each painful beat his heart gives realizing maybe this's the end ---- he doesn’t spare a glance to the dinner wafting off he cooked with much happiness looking forward to tonight.

Where did I went wrong?

Did I hurt her in any way? What if she didn’t like me popping up at her studio that day to remind her of tonight

Well Keat didn’t like it ..... She used to hate it Infact,

No! She’s not like keat —--

But, then why isn’t she picking your phone? She knew, promised and she still didn’t came tonight?

What if she’s sick? Fuck, then I should go to her.

He shuts his screaming conscience down, shoving the heels of his palm against his pop-sockets wearily to make him feel something --- to escape the hurt that’s looming around him, crushing and squeezing him to death.

He blows off the candles, melted to their base from being sorrowfully lit from three hours atleast --- mocking him and his sincerity.

You deserve this.

Why did y’think ye' deserved anybody’s love?

She doesn’t love you anymore --- just like keat....

The corners of his glossy eyes prickles with pearly tears and it drops down his clavicles, with blurry vision he dials her one last time and it goes straight to her voicemail alike past three hours.

Hiya, Y/N here! Leave a message ‘cos I mighty be busy or maybe lazyin' round the farthest corner of my home .......

He tosses and turns, does it manifold times --- his sleep betrays him too and he’s angry soaring with venom, if he could scream from a cliff and throw stones down the pound furiously he'd instead his eyes runs droopy.

His shuddering breath sulks to tranquillity, all he could hear’s a screech of wind that’s hitting the window and his guts.

His body jerks at the chirp of voice he’s oh so familiar with —- other days he'd be submerging in the honeyness of it but at the moment he bites down his wrist to keep him wrenching his empty stomach out.

“Happy anniversary, bub!” His brows clinches down into a grumblish frown and he presses his hand between his thighs turning his back upon hearing the careful steps treading in.

The creaking stalls and she stands at his doorway with heavy heart, her throat —-- uff her throat feels like as if someone punched it several times.

Not letting her tongue to utter any word —- anything that’d assure him and her, everything’s alright --- it’s not a big deal.

Ofcourse, it is!

Little things matters most to him – told you —- he .. — he told you himself and you hurt him, you hurt him just because you couldn’t stand to your boss.

She wanted it to be perfect for him, for them — winded up the work her boss hoarded on her mercilessly last minute demanding her to wrap it up in an hour --- felt giddy and motivated to do it speedily looking forward to their celebration. Bought his favourite chocolate moose cake standing in the line of his favourite bakery, since he doesn’t like any other flavour.

She stands at the side bed looking down at him, heartbreaking in million pieces seeing him torn, all teary cheeks and this stoic for the first time they’ve been dating.

“’M sorry -- I –- my boss trapped me and – ‘n I really wanted to call you —-- then it took me forever at your favourite bakery, I’m so sorry baby.” She rambles nebbish-ly and catches onto his shoulder when he tries to face away from her.

He mutters, “Forget bout it. Go back home ‘s getting late.” Though, his heart lurches forward to embrace her and shower her in kisses telling her “it’s totally fine.” And that “how bout we celebrate now,” but being an emotionally sensitive person has it's very cons and one of it is requiring space and time to recover for better thinking.

His eyes slips into abyss and he holds back a sniffle when he feels the mattress dip behind him, she sighs, coos in the softest voice she only keeps it for her lover, “Oh baby .... you’re my home.” She's well aware of the anxiety he goes through. He feels like everything crumbling but she's there to catch him and she rubs his back.

The many many reassurances he needs from his lovie to keep going for them, the praises for him for treating her like the most precious daffodil —- because he never got praised before; even though how much of the world’s luxuries he'd lay at his ex's feet was never assured that how much she loves him (because she never did).

Y/N would never want his insecurities to float back and sting his scars, she'd never want him to ever go through from what he did in past —-- to be used like a toy and manipulated, might sound weird and whumpy of her but she’d kill many dragons to keep him protected at any cost.

He sleeps with her body cocooning him from behind and his erratic breath syncs to her calm ones.

His dreams full of suffering, void and darkness violently clashing and swirling against eachother as the ugly creature takes Y/N away from him, leaving him in prison of his own pathetic head.

Fear of loss —- he fears loosing her and does it make him toxic? He was snubbed so many times – being told his behaviour was toxic that he’d hesitate before doing anything precisely very fondly caring —- but then Y/N came in his life and she'd tell him how much she appreciates him, how he’s like the best sundae in hot summer and he felt like she’s the sunshine he was waiting for in the never-ending rainy days.

Y/N stirs from her light sleep on hearing the broken whimpers, the valley of her chest moist as he cries into her and she cups his cheeks gazing down at him concerned, “What happened sunny .... baby talk to me ...” Her voice groggy and on verge of tearing.

She sits back a little with him still between her legs and wipes his tears away gently, “I’m so sorry ...” He mumbles –-- eyes bloodshot and she shakes her head pulling him closer, if she’d be able to cradle him in his lap she'd but apparently he’s too big.

Queasy hiccups, “f – fo'--... d —- dou...” sad sniffles and hiccups that tightens his chest.

She tenders his wobbly lip kissing his temple, “shhh. shhh, puppy I should be the one apologising yeah?”

“no .. I didn’t gave another thought before doubting --- that –-- that you’re about to leave, no person in right mind does this – I —-,” His body trembles with blue sobs.

“Harry ...” she tries to gain his attention and when he still doesn’t listen, “I know I don’t deserve y'n – ‘n maybe you don’t want me anymore —--” she raises it a bit, “Harry!” he falls quiet --- nibbling the corner of his cheek to hold back hiccups.

“Look at me puppy, yeah? Shh hold my hand and take a breather.” She smiles. Takes his sweaty hand and aligns his palm to her mouth for a deep kiss – then squeezes it.

“Keep holding it baby, keep holding my hand, you’re going to be fine --- we – see us here,” she points between them with gleamy eyes and he nods timidly wiping his nose with his sweater paw, “we are fine baby –- we are okay..”

How could someone be this dreamy? This gentle and sweet? What did I do to deserve my lovie?

“Better?” She inquires. Little worried that he'll fall back into rabbit hole and tucks his head under her chin, keeping him warm against her chest and he clutches the hem of her shirt nuzzling into her.

“Did you really think, I’d leave you and that on our first year anniversary? Sorry to tell you .... ‘m stitched to your hip for life time, there’s no exchange policy puppy how much you grump.”

She grins. Happy to earn a feeble chuckle from him and scratches his head, looping his curls around her fingers.

“I love you.” She startles when he speaks hoarsely after the longest time and it’s not like he's saying it for the first –-- but it still doesn’t fail to engulf her in warmth, so much of it.

“I love you too, you’re my only puppy and very loved one.” His eyes crinkles prettily at that and she kisses the tip of his nose.

“You want to rest? We could eat the dinner you dearly made for me and oh we got moose cake in fridge too, what a coincidence!” She giggles. The room fills with wet treacly noises of smoochy kisses she’s patching on his cheeks and his jaw.

Without a word he holds her finger and leads her to kitchen, she creates proud noises of “ooh!” and “ahh!” trying to sneak a glimpse from over his shoulder but he'd shoo her away as he heats the food; she gets out gorgeous smiles from him she cherishes so much.

“You did all of this for me?” She gasps sweetly, hand over heart to accentuate the love she's feeling and walks towards him when he nods timidly rubbing his socks feetsies one over the other.

His cheeks blazes peach and she giggles pinching them, “You’re so cute aren’t you?”

“Okay then. Let’s eat!” she claps her hands together and pecks his lips before pulling her chair beside him rather than opposite to him and his heart flutters at that --- each pore oozing with deep love for her and every insecurity and anxious ideas completely drains out of him when she pats his seat and wiggles in her own --- anticipated to taste what he made.

“Hmm. This tastes so good, H! Your hands are really magical, huh?” She passes him a smirk pecking each of his knuckle to make him feel better about himself and his lips quirks up softly, “Thank you – d’ya w'na umm eat the moose here o'in bed?” Her face beams at that, him speaking more than two words and looking forward to spend the night with her.

“On bed, please –-- would you like tea? Think ‘m running out of if —- proper jello ....” She cleans the table and raises her brows when he gazes her adorningly as she’s the nymphs of stary oceans.

He shakes his head, nose twitchy as she nudges him teasingly and he takes her off-guard --- hugging her by waist and kisses her soft tummy.

“Nothing just love you bleedin’ much.”

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laurenairay · 3 years

Text

You Say I Am Loved - C. Makar

Summary: 4 times Cale Makar comforted Katerina Stewart and 1 time Katerina Stewart comforted him.

Word Count: 5.7k

Warnings: hurt/comfort, anxiety, fluff, established relationship

A/N: thanks @antoineroussel for asking me to fill in as a pinch-hitter for the summer fic exchange! This story was written for @blueskrugs – I hope you enjoy this Cait! I haven’t written for Cale before so this was a great challenge for me (and I really enjoyed the hurt/comfort element!).

Also, big thanks to @tippedbykreider and @danglesnipecelly for their encouragement - you guys are the mvps 💖 inspired by the song You Say by Lauren Daigle.

Katerina Stewart didn’t believe in coincidences. Everything happened for a reason; every missed bus, every rainy day, every conversation with a stranger – they all meant something. By embracing the random chances in life, she knew that she’d never miss out on something she would later regret. Perhaps that was the art student in her, seeing the positive in a world that would love nothing more than to stomp out her hope, but she didn’t care. Kat saw the world from a glass half full perspective, and she wouldn’t change that for anything.

So she walked home instead of waiting for the next bus, seeing the world in real-time speed that would otherwise have sped by. She danced in the rain and smiled as it soaked her clothing to the bone, knowing her painting supplies were tucked away safely in her waterproof rucksack. And she spoke to every stranger who spoke to her – the little old lady in the grocery store, the newlywed couple in the dog park with the cutest Pomeranian…and Cale Makar in the coffee shop.

Cale Makar, with his shy smile and his earnest everything and his complete inability to speak to her the first three times he saw her, apparently.

That had been a shock, to say the least. Sure, she hadn’t approached him, but that was because she had recognised him from posters around the city, and she didn’t think it was actually her he was looking at. Kat prided herself on being an approachable friendly person (see: little old lady in the grocery store and the couple in the dog park), but even her warm smile and open nature hadn’t been enough to override Cale’s shyness. But it only took that one chance from Cale, that opening line of “they’re really rushed off their feet in here today, aren’t they?”, to start a conversation that just kept on rolling, leading to them sitting down at a vacant table together. By the end of the hour in the coffee shop, Kat had given him her number with strict instructions to actually message her.

And he had.

A couple of days went by with them messaging constantly, whenever they each had a spare moment (and sometimes even when the moment wasn’t spare, much to the delight of EJ and to Cale’s despair when the team caught him), until Cale had asked if she was free on Friday night. Without hesitating, Kat had said yes. Embrace all the random chances, right?

Along came Friday night and Kat was excited. Actually, that was an understatement. This guy, this incredibly sweet and seemingly genuine guy, made her feel giddy and gave her butterflies, and even just thinking about him put a smile on her face. Already he affected her like this, before their first date – and she couldn’t wait to see how the night went. And what was the date? Well, Cale has suggested they go to the local outdoor ice rink. It was December, all the pretty lights were out in preparation for Christmas, and it was an easy distance for them to get to – what wasn’t to like? She had wanted to tease him for playing to his strengths, but the hopeful tone in his voice when he’d called her to ask had stopped her – he really was so adorable. And besides, she had the cutest winter outfit with coordinating hat, gloves and scarf that would be perfect to wear (and the light blue colours made her dark hair pop), so why not just roll with it?

Welcome the unknown. And she’d never known any guy like Cale before.

Cale picked her up from her campus apartment, immediately complimenting her outfit (she knew it was a winner!), making her glad that she’d put so much effort into looking good. Looking good for him? No, looking good for herself. Not that Cale couldn’t appreciate it…

And by the sideways glances he kept giving her as they drove, he definitely did appreciate it.

It had been years since Kat had ice skated, but after Cale helped her choose the right skates and even helped her lace them up properly – the sight of him on his knees in front of her was one that wouldn’t leave her mind for a while – the two of them headed onto the ice. As expected, she was a little rusty. But there was no way she was going to give up this early. The air was crisp, the fairy lights were twinkling, and she had the cutest guy next to her – this was heaven.

“I can, um…would you like to hold onto my arm?” Cale offered.

It was the light blush on his cheeks that made her smile. “I’d like that,” she nodded.

Biting her bottom lip, she looped her hand through his extended arm, clutching at his bicep as they started to move again. Much easier. Cale smiled down at her as they slowly skated side by side, Kat holding onto Cale like a lifeline, making her smile back up at him. Never had things felt so easy with anyone else. Never.

“You’re an artist, right?” he asked, glancing down at her.

Kat clutched at his arm a little tighter, making sure she was as secure as she could be before she focused on talking to him. He deserved her full attention.

“An art student, yeah,” she nodded, swallowing a little heavier than she intended.

When people asked her what she did, saying ‘art student’ tended to go one of two ways. One option was that people seemed impressed at the creativity. But the other, the more common option, was that people frowned as if to say really?

She really hoped Cale wasn’t one of those people.

“You must be really talented to pursue a degree in it!” he said sweetly.

Oh wow. She felt her cheeks heating up, her olive skin doing nothing to hide the blush that flooded her cheeks. She hadn’t been expecting that.

“I do okay,” she eventually shrugged, cheeks still warm.

“Are you really going to be modest with me?” he teased.

Oh two could play at that game.

“How could I not be, when I’m next to the guy who was called up from college to play in the Stanley Cup playoffs?” she teased back.

Now it was Cale’s turn to blush. Hah. Good.

“I think I’d rather talk about you,” he said softly.

It was his gentle sincere eyes that made Kat’s breath hitch in her throat, her head nodding in agreement before she could stop herself.

“Um, sure. What do you want to know?” she asked, a little stunned.

For the rest of their 45-minute skating session, their conversation didn’t stop. Back and forth they talked and asked questions, learning more about each other that their texting hadn’t covered. To be honest, Kat was a little astounded when it came for them to leave the ice – time had flown by, without her even noticing. When was the last time conversation had been so effortless like this on a date? Or ever, with anyone?

But when she sat down to unlace her skates, she found that her fingers were too numb to untangle the knot. Okay so maybe her cute new gloves weren’t as warm as they could be.

“Everything okay?” Cale asked, frowning as he noticed her not moving.

“Uh, my hands are too cold to untie my skates?” she offered, wincing at how silly it sounded.

Cale’s frown slipped to an expression of alarm and he quickly knelt down in front of her (again, whew).

"Here, give me your hands,” he murmured.

Kat wordlessly did as he asked, gasping softly as he cupped her frozen fingers between his hands and blew against the useless wool. His breath filled the material covering her hands, warming her instantly, and she bit her bottom lip as he blew again. No-one had ever comforted her like this, ever. No-one had even offered. So for Cale to just do it instinctively on their first date? Wow.

“Hopefully that takes the edge off?” Cale said, looking up at her with wide eyes.

Kat wiggled her fingers, smiling at the lack-of-pain in the movement. “Much better, thank you,”

Cale just grinned – before reaching for her laces. She was too surprised to refuse, sitting still in shock as he carefully unlaced and loosened her boots, until he winked up at her when he finished. Oh that boy knew exactly what he was doing. How smooth.

Somehow, Kat didn’t find herself minding all that much.

“Last person with their shoes on buys the hot chocolate?” Cale suggested playfully.

Kat looked down at his skates, which were still tightly laced, before laughing. “Oh you’re on,”

Naturally Cale lost. And yet Kat was charmed, her hand having found its way to curl over his bicep once more, despite not needing the assistance at all. Cale didn’t seem to mind, funny enough, smiling shyly down at her after he ordered a hot chocolate for them both. Kat huffed out a laugh, her breath curling into mist in the cold air, but smiled back up at him, sweetly, effortlessly.

What an incredible date. What an incredible guy.

“I think this is the start of something beautiful,” Kat said softly.

The pink flush of Cale’s cheeks only made Kat smile wider. “I really hope so,”

Kat and Cale’s relationship only flourished from there. One date turned to two to three to ten to six months down the line in a relationship that was only going from strength to strength. He built her up and supported her just as much as she did to him, him attending as many art shows and exhibitions as he could while she went to every home game as well as some official Avs events as his girlfriend – it was a partnership of equals, something that Kat had only ever hoped for. And Cale was more than she could ever have dreamed.

For Cale, Kat was a breath of fresh air. Her positivity was so refreshing in a world that could be so stressful and bleak, and her go-with-the-flow nature helped him appreciate the smaller things in life. It was so easy to get caught up in his head sometimes, with the pressure he put himself under, as well as the pressure with hockey and the team in general, but Kat was always there with a sweet smile and warm words to bring him out of that fog.

She was always there, by his side, ready to cheer him on, just like he did with her. So when Kat didn’t answer his texts or calls for three days straight, Cale got worried fast. Both of them had been busy lately – Cale was out of the playoffs now, and Kat had been to all of his home games in this first round, even though it was coming to the end of her degree. He’d done his best to encourage her with her portfolio creation and selection on the days he’d been home, and he thought she’d appreciated it – so after the locker cleanout days and team admin things he needed to sort out, he’d given her some space (and taken some for himself, to be honest), always sending her texts to check in.

But he hadn’t received anything in return. And three days was more than long enough. So on the evening of that third day, he drove over to her campus apartment to see if she was there. He didn’t know what he’d do if she wasn’t there. It was all he could do to channel a bit of that positive hope she always tried to instill in him.

“Oh thank fuck,”

Cale blinked in surprise at the greeting from Kat’s flatmate Sarah, earning a wincing smile back. Oh thank fuck. Was that a good thing?

“Is Kat home?” he asked hopefully.

“Yeah, she’s in her room. Full on zombie mode. I don’t think I’ve seen her leave in literally three days,”

Three days. Shit.

“Has she eaten?” he frowned.

“Not that I can tell, sorry man. Feel free to come in, I need to grab some groceries anyway,” Sarah shrugged.

Zombie mode. Hasn’t left her room. Hasn’t eaten.

Where was the cheerful positive girl he’d come to know? Damn it, he should’ve come sooner, he shouldn’t have given her the ‘space’ he thought she’d want. Damn it. He didn’t even register the front door closing behind Sarah as he walked towards Kat’s room, knocking twice on the door before opening it.

“Cale?”

He looked at Kat and tried not to let his jaw drop in surprise. She was sitting at her desk, clear of sketchpads for once, but hunched over a laptop that he rarely saw her use, her legs pulled up tight to her chest. Her dark hair, usually so glossy (thanks to an expensive conditioner she tried to ration) and tumbling down her back was thrown up into a greasy bun. Her eyes were clearly straining at her laptop, her lips her chewed and chapped, and she looked exhausted. Sarah was right. This was full on zombie mode.

“Hey Kat. It’s been a few days,” he said, hesitating a little before perching on the end of her bed.

Kat winced, tongue darting out to wet her dry lips.

“Has it really?” she grimaced, “I guess I lost track of time,”

Cale stayed silent as she fished in the pocket of her (his) hoodie, locating her phone – which was dead. She winced again.

“Damn it,” she groaned.

Well at least that explained why she hadn’t responded.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly, reaching out a hand towards her.

Kat bit her bottom lip but took his hand anyway, uncurling her feet from her desk chair to sit down next to him on her bed instead. If it had really been three days…she could only guess what she looked like. And she would put money on none of the other Avs partners ever looking like this. Great. Great job Kat.

“I’ve been better. Just got this final assignment to finish, that’s all,” she shrugged.

One final essay, explaining the themes of her essay and why she chose all her pieces and just everything she hated about being in college. Essays!

Cale let out a breath of relief – was that all that the problem was?

Kat watched him let out a breath of relief and frowned – what did he have to be relieved about?

“I thought you weren’t talking to me for a bad reason,” he admitted.

It was all she could do not to let her jaw drop.

“You think this isn’t bad? You think this isn’t serious?” she said incredulously.

“I didn’t mean that, you know that. I just…I haven’t heard from you. I was really worried,” he said, trying to reassure her,

“This is it, Cale. It’s the final of everything I’ve worked on for the last four years,” Kat shot back, “I have to put all my focus on it,”

Cale just smiled, trying to diffuse her mild temper, and squeezed her shoulder. Her passion was one of the things he loved most about her – even when it translated to this intensity. She just loved so much, especially her art.

“You’ve already finished your portfolio – all of those incredible drawings and paintings, they’re all done. It’s just this one last thing,” he soothed.

“This last thing is a ridiculous essay and I am not a writer. I am an artist. My art speaks for itself,” she groaned.

“I know. You know. We all know. But you’ve just got to do this one last thing for the stuffy dinosaur administration who couldn’t understand art if a child explained it,”

She couldn’t help but laugh, her frustration melting away at his words.

“You have been listening to my wine rants,” Kat giggled, unable to keep her bad mood up.

He cares. He really cares.

“I always listen,” he mused, “Even when you and the other halves are slurring and stumbling as bad as Josty on rum,”

The cheek! Accurate, but still!

“Lies! Slander! I won’t stand for it!” she said dramatically.

Cale just laughed, rolling his eyes fondly (there was his girl), before leaning forward to press a kiss to the side of her head. Kat immediately frowned, pouting up at him until he laughed again, leaning down to kiss her lips this time, earning a soft happy sigh from his girlfriend.

“That’s better,” she said, smiling up at him once he’d pulled away.

Cale smiled back, but not as fully as he usually would. All he could focus on were the bags under Kat’s eyes, the tension in and around her eyes too, and he hated how pale and tired she looked. What he hated even more was that she wasn’t going to do anything about herself. So it was up to him.

“Time for a break,” he announced.

“What? No! I still have so much to do,” she insisted.

“Kat, sweetheart, when was the last time you ate a full meal? Or even slept more than just passing out at your desk for an hour?” Cale frowned.

She opened and closed her mouth, unable to give an answer that didn’t sound awful. Because the truth was that she didn’t know when she last did either of those. Her wince told Cale all he needed to know.

“This isn’t healthy for you. Going over the same thing, over and over again, it’s only going to mess with your head. And you need food and sleep to fuel your brain to write in the first place. How about we drive back to mine, I’ll make you a light dinner, and you can take a break while you eat it?”

“Cale, I don’t know…”

“I wasn’t finished,” he teased.

She huffed a laugh, nudging him with her knee, earning a nudge back.

“Why don’t we read it together when you’ve finished eating? That way you can get an outside perspective, and you can go through your line of thinking?”

Kat bit her bottom lip in hesitation. Cale…reading her essay? She wanted to shudder at the thought. Like she said, there was a reason she was an artist and not a writer. But he did have a point about the outside perspective. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad? He wouldn’t be rude about it after all…

“I just want to help you, Kat. That’s all,” he said softly, drawing her back out of her head.

“I know you do babe. And I appreciate it, I really do,” Kat said, smiling tiredly.

Cale stayed silent, raising an eyebrow, making Kat laugh softly. He always could read her so well. So, she nodded, admitting defeat.

“You can feed me. And read my essay,” she sighed.

Cale just grinned at her, darting forward for another quick kiss. “You won’t regret this, I promise,”

His earnest nature, as always, melted her heart just that little bit more.

“Embrace the chances, right? I trust you,” she said, huffing out a breath, “Pinky promise,”

“Pinky promise. I just want to look after you, in the ways that you’ll let me. If I can give you a bit of comfort with some food and a hug, then I’m going to,” he beamed at her.

To be honest, with him that would be all she needed. He always knew how to make things better.

Summer passed in a happy daze. Now that she was no longer a student, Kat had the whole summer free before she needed to be back in Denver. Cale had insisted that she take the time off to relax before looking for jobs – and with her agreeing to move in with him when they went back to Denver together, she knew she was lucky to have that security. So after moving her belongings from her campus apartment to Cale’s apartment, she flew back to New York to spend some time with her family. She’d seen her parents at her graduation, them having met Cale in person then too. Her mom adored him, obviously – and her dad, surprisingly, was won over immediately. Not that it was possible to dislike Cale, but as his only child and daughter, her boyfriends through high school (and the one guy she dated in college freshman year) had faced a much sterner treatment.

But not Cale. Never Cale.

So back to Queens she went, celebrating her graduation with her parents and aunts and uncles and cousins and childhood friends, having planned two weeks at home by herself before Cale joined her for a few days. They then had planned to spend another few days with her family before heading to Rome for a week, their first holiday away together (and Kat was unbearably excited), before heading up to see Cale’s family for a week. After that, they would head back to Denver together, to start the next chapter in their relationship.

That was the plan anyway.

And that was exactly how their summer went. Kat kept up with her sketching all the way throughout, inspired by the sights and the surroundings and the people around her, and she bolstered her resumé by submitting freelance to various magazines as well as creating an online profile for her portfolio, keeping her digital skills sharp on the many journeys she travelled.

Somehow it paid off. Kat kept up the freelance work while applying for jobs – as her professors and tutors had suggested – and while she got a fair few rejections for all kinds of reasons, after two months she got that lucky break. A graphic design company, specialising in the realism designs that she herself preferred, took a chance on her portfolio, inviting her to an interview for an entry level position – and she got the job.

Embrace the chances.

They had taken a chance on her, and she had taken a chance on them – now, it was time for her to start her first day. Kat couldn’t remember the last time she was this nervous. Her usual positivity was in short supply. Her glass half full nature was teetering. Her cheerful seize the day mentality was shaky at best.

But what was the best thing about living with her boyfriend? He was there by her side, ready to be her rock.

“Are you ready?” he asked, smiling.

“As I’ll ever be,” she nodded, trying to smile back.

Cale grinned at her attempts to keep her confidence up. He’d never met anyone like her, that was for sure.

"Remember to breathe," he teased.

Kat took a dramatic deep breath in and then out, making Cale laugh, and she couldn’t help but laugh herself.

Maybe that was his intention all along.

They were standing by the front door, Kat dressed in a new outfit that Cale insisted she let Mel Landeskog take her shopping for. To get her in the right mindset, he explained. Well, it had kind of worked, until it was time for her to pick up her bag and head out of the apartment. But Cale had been waiting for her, ready to give her that goodbye good luck kiss, and now it seemed, a confidence boost.

He smiled sweetly at her, taking both her hands in his, making her look up at him. “I believe in you, okay? You’re going to be amazing,”

Kat felt her cheeks heat up in a blush and she shook her head, earning a tsk from Cale.

“I’m just a junior associate. Not even a designer yet,”

“It’s a foot in the door. They hired you because of your portfolio – clearly they saw potential in you. This is the first step of many and you’re going to show them just how incredible and talented you are,” he said firmly.

She bit her bottom lip, looking up at him shyly. “You really do believe that, don’t you?”

Cale beamed and nodded, that genuine sincerity shining through as always.

“I believe it and I know it. You’re special, Kat. It’s time for you to show the world. Pinky promise,” he said softly.

Kat huffed out a laugh but squeezed his hands, still feeling a little dazed. How did he always know what to say? Even after all this time, how was he so wonderful?

“Pinky promise. You always know how to make me feel better,” she murmured.

“You deserve it. You deserve to be happy, to feel confident, to be secure, everything. All the time. If I can do that for you, then it makes me the happiest and luckiest guy in the world,”

Kat’s heart sped up just that little bit more. “You wonderful ridiculous man,”

“Your wonderful ridiculous man,” he grinned.

She just laughed. That he was.

“Kat, sweetheart, you’re burning up,”

Kat groaned and swatted at the hand that Cale placed on her forehead, trying to ignore her boyfriend as she pushed herself upright. Woah, dizzy. No, that was temporary, she was fine.

“Now is not the time for your stubbornness,” he mused.

“Now is the time for me to get up and go to work,” she grumbled, trying to hide her grimace at the feeling of the sweat at her hairline.

She had gone to bed feeling fine, that much she knew. And this definitely wasn’t fine. This was…ugh, this was awful. Her body ached, her head was groggy and she’d already sneezed three time in the last 15 minutes. Great. Just great. She didn’t have time to be ill!

But Cale’s gentle hand on her shoulder kept her from getting out of bed, and she just sighed as he crawled over to sit beside her.

“It’s a nasty flu sweetheart, you should be resting,” Cale said softly, eyebrows pinched together in concern.

“But it’s January!” she huffed, “I never get the flu past Christmas! I’ll be fine,”

Cale just laughed, shaking his head. “Guess you hit the jackpot this time. And no, you won’t be fine, you need to rest,”

Kat just pouted, eyes wide, making Cale laugh again.

“Don’t you pull that face at me,” he warned playfully, “you shouldn’t go to work and that’s final,”

“I’ve only been working there a couple of months, Cale. I haven’t even passed my probation yet. I can’t just take a day off!”

“Firstly, you told me last week that the flu has been going around your office, so this isn’t unexpected. And secondly, you absolutely can take a sick day. It’s a Friday and you haven’t got any deadlines for today or Monday – you can take one day off to let your body rest,” he insisted.

Damn it. She hated when he was right.

“I hate when you’re right,” she sighed.

Cale just pressed a kiss to her hair to hide his grin. “I know,”

She huffed out a laugh, ignoring the way it scratched her throat.

“Do think you can make it to the sofa?” he asked.

Kat bit her bottom lip, considering his question properly like she knew he wanted her too. Her head was foggy, but she wasn’t dizzy. Her legs were shaky, but her knees weren’t weak. Her runny nose and sore throat would be the same no matter where she was in the apartment. Yeah, she could make it to the sofa.

“Yeah, sofa sounds good,” she nodded.

Cale smiled and helped her stand up slowly, waiting until she was steady to release his hold on her.

“I’ll change the sheets and then come join you, okay?”

“I don’t want you to get sick though,” she frowned.

He just laughed. “This came on overnight for you, and we’ve been sharing a bed since I got back from the roadtrip three days ago. If I’m going to get it, then it’s already started,” he shrugged.

Kat grimaced. Disrupting Cale’s games, his chance to get on the ice, was the last thing she wanted. How could she not have planned better for this? As if he was reading her mind, Cale cupped her face with a hand, sending her a reassuring smile.

“None of that. No feeling guilty. I could just have easily caught a cold from one of the guys. Some of their kids picked up the flu in school this week,” Cale said firmly.

Kat sniffed but nodded, trying to push the negative thoughts away. That would do neither of them any good. “Are you sure you want to risk it?” she said softly.

“In sickness and in health, right?”

“Oh my god Cale, we’ve been together for just over a year,” she gasped, giggling.

What a thought though.

Cale just grinned. “Got your mind off things though, right?”

Kat just rolled her eyes playfully, sniffing again.

“Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. I don’t know why I put up with you,” she teased.

Cale laughed, tugging her against his body, making her shiver (in a good way, for the first time since she woke up). “Oh I can think of a few reasons. But for now, how about because I’m going to change the bedsheets while you walk yourself to the sofa, and then I’m going to join you with fresh orange juice and more medicine?” he offered.

Kat groaned, thunking her head against his collarbone. “You are a dream, Cale Makar. People as good as you don’t exist in real life,”

Cale just grinned, pressing a kiss to her forehead before stepping backwards. “Sofa, now. Go get comfy. Call your boss,”

She smiled at him, as sweetly and as genuinely as she could. Some day she would figure out what good thing she did in a past life to deserve this man.

“I’ll be waiting,”

“I’ll be quick,”

Playoffs were different this year. Firstly, last year Kat had been in her final year of college, struggling through her own pressure, whereas this year she experienced everything with The Avs full-on. Secondly, the team had made it to the second round, meaning the intensity ramped up to another level. Cale had been looking more and more exhausted as each game went on – now she understood why he was so upset with her lack of sleep last year, she got it – and there was only so much she could do to make him feel better. It was all she could do to be there if he needed her, offering that silent support, being that rock for him like he always was for her. As much as she wanted to do more, there just wasn’t more she could do.

She did her best to boost him with positivity, to hype him up before games, and for the most part it worked. He left their apartment with a smile, albeit a tired one, and always gave her a hug and a kiss whenever he saw her and left her.

It was enough and it was everything. Until it wasn’t.

The Avs battled until Game 6, hard fought and worn to the bone, but again it wasn’t enough. Kat could feel the devastation all the way from the family box, clutching at Cale’s mom’s hand for a lifeline, tears springing to her eyes. All of this intense pressure, these injuries, these sacrifices, without the ultimate prize to show that everything was worth it.

Playoffs were different this year. But she was still Kat and he was still Cale, and together they would work out a way to make it through. Somehow. Embrace the unknown, right?

Eventually, everyone trickled out of the arena. It was a blessing that they were playing at home, so they didn’t have the long journey back. Cale’s dad had offered to drive, so Kat had stayed with Cale in the back seat, Cale clinging to her hand with no intention of letting go. Not that Kat minded in the slightest. She didn’t want him to let go either. It was all too soon before Cale’s parents dropped them off, returning to their hotel and leaving Cale and Kat by themselves. They stayed silent, barely moving away any distance from each other as they shuffled through the apartment to their bedroom, Cale kicking the door shut behind them, shutting out the rest of the world.

Eventually when they had both fully stripped off and crawled into bed, Cale let out a weary sigh.

“I really thought this was our year,” he said quietly.

Quietly, as in trying to hold back tears. Quietly, as in devastating Kat all over again.

“You fought so hard,” she whispered back.

“Just not hard enough,” he muttered.

“Hey, no, you pushed yourself to your limit. No-one can ask more than that,” she insisted.

Cale laughed bitterly. “I bet the media and the fans and management have something different to say,”

Kat scowled, a rare expression on her face, and looked at him head-on, making Cale pay attention. “Anyone that tries to say different doesn’t know their shit. You worked your ass off, played to the bone, fought tooth and nail to get this far. How many of you played through injuries, hm? How many injuries did you yourself play through?”

Cale winced, trying not to think about the twinge in his shoulder or the dark bruising on his ribs, both of which had needed rest for some time now. Kat sighed, running a hand through her hair, before cupping his face with her hand.

“I love you Cale. You were amazing. Are amazing. I couldn’t have asked for more from you and I am sure as hell not disappointed in you,” Kat said firmly.

“You’re not?”

It was the hesitation in his voice that broke her heart a little.

“Not even a little bit. I’m so proud of you,” she murmured.

Cale let out a shaky breath, moving to bury his face against her bare shoulder, allowing her to run her fingers up and down his bare back.

“Hey, what can I do?” she asked softly.

“Just hold me for a while. Please,” Cale said quietly.

“Of course, anything you need. Pinky promise,” she replied.

Katerina Stewart didn’t believe in coincidences. Everything happened for a reason – every choice she made, every direction she had gone in, had led her to this moment. It had led her to Cale Makar. And there was nowhere else she would rather be.

#my writing #the summer fic exchange 2k21 #cale makar #cale makar fic #cale makar imagine #cale makar x oc #cale makar fanfic #nhl writing #nhl fic #nhl imagine #hockey writing #hockey fic #hockey imagine #colorado avalanche fic #colorado avalanche imagine #colorado avalanche fanfic

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whelvenwings · 4 years

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Up to Date?

Length: ~5k Tags: Canon Divergent, Y yo a ti Cas timeline, Misunderstandings

It's three months after Castiel was brought back from the Empty after confessing his love to Dean, and things are awkward between them. They haven't talked about it. Castiel can feel how much Dean wants to, but he won't let himself, and Castiel can only wait. But one night, with Castiel halfway across the world, he gets a text from Dean that might change everything - even if Dean didn't quite mean it to.

Castiel

It was just awkward. Castiel couldn’t deny it. Things between himself and Dean were definitely awkward.

Three months back on Earth, safe from the Empty with a little help from the Winchesters and from Jack – but Castiel and Dean still hadn’t talked about it. The things that Castiel had said – and what Dean had said in return.

I love you. Me too, Cas.

Castiel knew he should have expected this, the awkwardness. Hadn’t he known Dean long enough, at this point, to be able to predict him? And there was nothing more predictable than Dean not wanting to talk about something.

Still, it hurt. There had been that shining moment of happiness, if a word as soft as happiness was even the right way to describe the feeling of absolute blazing corrosive joy that Castiel had felt when Dean had told him that his feelings were reciprocated. And now, there was just… silence.

It was awkward.

And Castiel didn’t know what to do. Was Dean waiting for him to say something? But Castiel had already said it all. It was Dean who’d only managed to choke out a few words, Dean who must have more to say. And yet he said nothing. Days were slipping past full of staring and loaded sentences and quietness.

The fact that it was all so familiar didn’t make it any better. Castiel wanted something different. It had been different before they’d said anything out loud, but – but there had been something about hearing Dean say those words, me too, Cas, that had changed everything.

He didn’t need much. Nothing grand or unusual, only something to ease the tension. Even if it was just an expression on Dean’s face that acknowledged what had passed between them, instead of pushing it away.

But Dean… Castiel knew it was different for him. There were things that Dean didn’t allow himself, for a tangle of reasons that Castiel only barely understood. Dean didn’t let himself touch. Dean didn’t let himself speak. Dean didn’t let himself look.

But Dean wanted to.

Castiel knew Dean wanted to. So many aching years that Dean had longed for him, and Castiel had been able to feel it like a prayer – and not some soft and murmured thing, a prayer of an older kind, something raw and wordless and desperate. Something on its knees. Castiel could feel the yearning in Dean. It would have been so simple for Castiel to offer touch, but Dean hadn’t ever really let him. And Dean still wasn’t letting him.

And Castiel could still feel the longing.

When they were together, and when they were several thousand miles apart, too. It was there. Never any quieter or gentler, not even from far away. It always touched the same place in Castiel’s grace that it had done from the start. And the feeling of it was just the same, too, like being doused in oil and dropped into flames that reached and hoped and hungered.

Beautiful fire. A beautiful prayer. Castiel wanted to answer it. Dean behaved as though he didn’t know it was there.

The tension in the bunker had become too much, last night, and Castiel had abruptly left with just a quick text to Dean.

> I’m going to look for the artifact Sam read about in Seoul. It shouldn’t be left unguarded.

The artifact was probably just a trinket, if Castiel was being honest with himself, and its significance paled in comparison to everything they’d been through, but it was a reason to get away from everything and give himself a break. It would have only taken Castiel moments to find the artifact if he’d wanted, but he drew it out. He walked rather than flying, pacing the streets of Seoul, following up on the leads that Sam had found. His grace hummed and sighed against Dean’s prayer.

He hoped that when he returned, something might be different. That he and Dean could talk. Maybe even – as he walked down a side-street with neon lights that glowed through the drizzling rain, Castiel allowed himself a wry little smile. Maybe even do something together. Go somewhere. Go on a date.

A date. To a human the word would probably sound little, and normal, and silly for an angel to be thinking about. But to Castiel, it just sounded like something new.

And it was so easy, somehow, to picture Dean coming into the bunker's kitchen, pointing at Castiel semi-aggressively, and saying, so. You, me, date. Up for it?

Would that be how Dean would phrase it? Castiel tried it a few different ways in his head. Down for it? How about it? You in? Each time, the Dean in Castiel's mind looked almost angry as he waited for an answer. Each time, Dean's face softened when Castiel said, yes.

So easy to imagine. So out of reach. Castiel walked on through Seoul, the rain starting to thrum down harder.

–––––

Dean

It was awkward.

Dean knew it was awkward, and he wasn’t thinking about it – he wasn’t. Except when Cas did stupid shit like ditching the bunker without warning, leaving just some handwritten note like a kid sneaking out of his tent at summer camp, it made it kind of harder to ignore.

Staring down at the note in the bunker’s library, Dean pressed his lips together and read it over again, his eyes scanning the words while his brain paid no attention to them, lost in thought.

There was something so ridiculous about it all. The moment between them, the – whatever it had been, when they’d admitted their crap to each other – it felt so overblown to look back on. Sure, Cas had had to summon the Empty, he’d had to get all deep just to save Dean’s hide. But Dean… what he’d said had just been stupid. No point to it. Dean cringed when he thought about it.

Me too, Cas.

The words were so little like something Dean would ever say that they might as well have been in a foreign language. Me too, Cas? That kind of thing didn’t have to be said. Because obviously, him too. But what were they supposed to do about it? Buy each other flowers? Feed each other chocolates? God forbid – hold hands?

Dean felt a little hot rush in his chest just thinking about it, and an accompanying stab of guilt. What were they, seventeen? They were old. Too old for flowers and chocolates. Too old for holding hands. And too old for this weird tension between them, Jesus. Who got nervous and tongue-tied and awkward around a crush at Dean’s age?

Who called it a crush at Dean’s age?

Dean, sat in the library at the bunker, dropped the note Cas had left and picked up his phone. Practicalities. Just focus on the practicalities. He should at least make sure Sam had kept Cas up to date with the latest research about the artifact that might be hidden in Seoul.

Dean tapped on the screen of his phone for a few seconds, holding it a little further away from his eyes than he used to have to do. He read over what he’d typed once, and then hit send.

–––––

Castiel

Castiel’s phone hummed.

With a little clench in his gut, Castiel stepped under the cover of a dark doorway to get out of the rain, and pulled it out of his pocket. Dean’s name was on the screen, obviously. There was the usual leap of excitement, tinged with a familiar sinking feeling in his chest. Dean would probably be angry with him for leaving.

With a stoic line to his jaw, Castiel opened the text, knowing it couldn’t be anything good.

> So. You up to date?

Castiel stared down at his phone.

No… no. He couldn’t have read that right. He blinked, and tried it again.

It still said the same thing.

You up to date?

Dean had just asked Castiel if he was… up to date? If he… wanted to date?

However many times Castiel reread the text, it said the same thing. Castiel stood absolutely still, his eyes puzzling out the letters of Dean’s message again and again.

It was – it was just the way Castiel had imagined it, if not word perfect. The brusque tone, the question. Castiel, half in shadow in a porch in rainy Seoul, stared down at his phone as if it had just promised him the moon.

Dean had just asked Castiel if he was up for dating.

Via text. Obviously. Maybe all this time, it had just been that trying to talk face-to-face had been too much. Maybe Castiel should have left for halfway across the world months ago.

Castiel could feel his heart pounding. He couldn’t stop himself reading Dean’s question, over and over again.

–––––

Dean

When the text from Cas finally came back, Dean snatched up his phone. It wasn’t that he’d been sitting and staring at it, waiting for a reply – he’d just got a little lost in thought, was all, wondering where Cas was and why he wasn’t answering sooner.

The text, though, when Dean read it, put a frown on his face.

> I’m so glad you asked. Yes, I would love to.

Wait. What? Dean checked over what he’d said himself in his first text, just to be sure he hadn’t made some kind of a typo. Nope, he’d definitely just asked if Cas was up to date with the artifact.

So, Cas would love to… what?

Cas was glad he’d asked about what?

None of it sounded like the answer to a simple question about research on an artifact, at all. Maybe Cas was just in the middle of something, and misread Dean’s text. Not something that had ever happened before, but still. Whatever.

Dean circled his thumbs over the keyboard on his screen, and then typed a reply.

< Love to do what

Keep it simple, he figured.

He sat puzzling over Cas’ first message as he waited for a reply. So glad you asked. What did that even mean? Was Cas ever particularly glad when Dean asked anything?

The reply came back quickly, this time.

> Anything you want to do. :) Maybe just going to a bar?

Dean squinted down at his phone.

Anything he wanted to do about what? A bar?

Was he losing it? Dean reread the text over and then over again, and looked back up their conversation to try to make Cas’ reply make sense. The emoticon was typical enough, even though Dean hadn’t seen a smiley one in a while. The way it made his chest squeeze was ridiculous. It was just a smile. And it just followed the words, anything you want to do.

Before he could let his mind run too far with what exactly that could mean, Dean texted back in confusion,

< You want to go to a bar?

There was something about this conversation that was making his heart beat harder. Come on, he told it. What, you can face down the end of the world more than once and a little text conversation still has you like this?

Ignoring his solid logic, Dean’s heart only raced faster when Cas texted back,

> Yes, of course. Unless you think it’s a bad idea?

So… Cas wanted to go to a bar? With Dean?

That was – well, it wasn’t that strange on Dean’s personal spectrum of strange to not strange these days. Fighting Death and God and God’s sister and all the rest of it kind of put a bunch of other strange crap way down the list. But this was still… weird. Not bad weird, necessarily.

But how had they got here, why were they talking about this? What kind of a bar, why? Dean had just wanted to check up on Cas in a few brief words and suddenly they were making evening plans? Cas was making no sense. Was he doing it on purpose? Dean read the whole conversation over again, and pulled a face of utter and annoyed confusion for the benefit of no one, and shook his head.

He thought about it, and licked his lips, and shook his head again.

And then thought some more, and made a hand gesture, as if asking of no one, what the fuck.

He texted out,

< What do u mean

He stared down at the text for a second, and then deleted it, and tried instead,

< Why are we talking about this

He didn’t even read that one over again before deleting it. He made another face, and then quickly typed and sent,

< But you’re in Seoul

However they’d arrived at the idea of going to a bar, it didn’t particularly matter when Castiel was thousands of miles away. Had deliberately ditched, in fact, which was more of an obstacle to them having a nice evening out tonight than the distance between them, but Dean wasn’t going to say that directly.

> Only for a short while longer. I’ve almost completed the search for the artifact. Then I’ll come back :)

Another damn smiley face, another little lift in Dean’s chest. Look at him. Fully grown, and soft over the idea of his best friend looking forward to spending an evening together. Yikes.

Practicalities. Dean fired off another text.

< Okay... you just wanna talk or what

If Cas was going to try to insist that they talk about stuff, well – the drinks would probably be a good place to start, but Dean would need to psych himself up to the idea of trying to explain anything at all that had happened between them. Me too, Cas. He kept hearing himself say it and wanting to bury his head in his hands. What had he been thinking. What had Cas been thinking, when he’d decided on Dean. That had to earn the award for the worst fucking choice in the history of the world.

Dean’s phone buzzed in his hands.

> I think talking is what people usually do on a date. But we don’t have to if you don’t want to.

Dean’s eyes went wide.

–––––

Castiel

Across the world, in the porch in Seoul, Castiel watched as Dean’s little typing bubble with three dot dot dots appeared, and disappeared, and reappeared.

He tried to quiet the excitement in his chest, tried to remind himself that Dean had just implied fairly heavily that he wouldn’t want to talk on their date – which wasn’t unexpected for Dean, but it did leave Castiel wondering what else Dean might want to do.

A thought occurred to Castiel about something they might be able to do without talking, and he swallowed, and felt his hopes fly higher.

Or perhaps Dean just wanted to sit together in silence. That would be alright, too. Companionship in the quiet. When he thought about it, Castiel knew it would be more than enough just to sit by Dean in a bar and drink together, knowing that they were both choosing to be there. Even if they didn’t say a single word the whole evening, even if Dean didn’t so much as look at him the whole night. They could spend the date speechlessly. But it would be a date. It would be an acknowledgement. Maybe it would ease a little of the longing that Castiel felt and felt and felt from Dean, burning.

Finally, a text from Dean came in.

> Wait what

Wait, what?

Castiel felt his heart sink.

There was something wrong. That tone, just two stark words – something wasn’t right. Castiel scrolled back up their conversation. Had he accidentally said something rude? He couldn’t find it, reading the texts over and then over again. He’d used emoticons to show that he was happy. Had they seemed sarcastic?

Did it seem as though Castiel didn’t really want to go on a date? Or that he wouldn’t really be content for them to not talk on the date? Hurriedly, Castiel began typing again.

< I mean it. We don’t have to say anything. I just want to be there with you.

It was the kind of text that Castiel would ordinarily type out and then delete because it was too forthright, too emotional, too much for Dean – but this time, he just hit send before he could think about it. Worse than Dean being grossed out by Castiel openly having feelings was the idea of Dean not knowing that Castiel really did feel those things.

There was a long silence. Castiel stood still, waiting for Dean.

How many times had he stood, quiet, expectant, wanting Dean to be ready, hoping he would be ready, prepared to wait for an eternity until he was? In the span of Castiel’s own lifetime, he’d waited just a blink of an eye. But somehow this blink had been torturously slow. A torture Castiel would have fought to the death before trading.

Castiel’s phone hummed.

> You really want to go on a date

Castiel stared down at the screen. He couldn’t tell if the tone was judgemental or vulnerable. He blinked, and thought hard – and then, with a little shake of his head and hard press of his lips, he made a choice.

Quite suddenly, the street in Seoul was empty.

–––––

Dean

Dean almost fell out of his chair when Cas appeared opposite him in the bunker.

“Shit!” Dean swore, grabbing the table in front of him with one hand. He watched as Cas tilted his head just slightly sideways at Dean’s other hand, instinctively on the butt of his gun.

He eased his hold.

“Could’ve killed you,” Dean mumbled. Cas smiled wryly.

“You could have tried,” he said.

Dean swallowed. Right. Angel powers were all the way back up, these days.

“You’re back,” he said blankly, just to say something, because immediately leaving the room didn’t seem like it would be a good idea – however much the nervousness in his brain was insisting that this conversation wasn’t going to go well, and he needed to bail.

“Yes.” Cas lifted his phone up to face Dean, so that Dean could read their conversation on the screen. Dean glanced over it. It was strange seeing his own words on the left side of the screen, almost embarrassing. “What does this mean?” Cas asked.

Dean got to his feet, feeling too low down still in his chair.

“Uh…” He watched Cas warily, while trying to keep his tone light. “You tell me, Cas.”

“No,” Cas said firmly. “You asked me if I really wanted to go on a date.”

“Yeah,” Dean said.

Cas stared at him, clearly expecting more. Dean tried waiting him out for a few seconds in silence, hoping Cas would say something else, but Cas had that determined look in his eye that told Dean he was going to have to be the one to say something.

“What about it?” Dean said.

“What does the question mean?” Cas asked.

“Well, Cas, it’s kind of all right there. In the message.”

“You just asked if I really want to go on a date,” Cas said again.

“Yeah,” Dean said. “So, do you?”

It was all wrong. His tone was all wrong. It was aggressive, and blunt. He sounded outright angry at the idea that Cas might actually want to go on a date, and that tone didn’t even vaguely map over the ridiculous leap in his chest at the idea of a date together.

But somehow, Cas’ shoulders were dropping, and his face was relaxing, as though – as though that was what he’d been expecting to hear. Or even what he’d been hoping to hear.

“Yes,” Cas said.

Dean felt his mouth fall slightly open and his eyes go wide, and he looked away.

He could feel his breath suddenly coming a little short. He tried to stand very still and be very quiet so that Cas wouldn’t see what that one-word answer had meant. How much it had shaken Dean.

It was only when he heard the yes that he realised just how little he’d expected to ever hear it.

Cas wanted to date. The hot rush in Dean’s chest was back, and the accompanying punch of guilt readied itself… but held back. Because Cas had said yes.

He’d said yes.

“Is that a surprise?” Cas said, his tone dry but not unkind. Dean swallowed, and managed a smile when he looked back over.

“Yeah,” he said.

“Oh.” Cas looked confused. “But… I told you…”

“I know.” Dean shrugged. “I didn’t know if you’d wanna do any of that crap, though. Human stuff.”

He saw something clear on Cas’ face, as though something that had been weighing on him had suddenly been lifted.

“Ah,” he said. “Well… I do. Want to.”

Dean nodded, once, a little sharply. God, he had no idea how to do this. And it didn’t help that he could feel things moving inside him, shifting, like walls crumbling, like stuff he’d smothered finally elbowing its way up to be felt – a blazing feeling, a hurting feeling, a wanting. Somehow both familiar and terrifying.

“Okay,” Dean managed aloud.

“As long as you still want to,” Cas said.

Still? Had Dean ever actually told Cas that he wanted to go on a date? Maybe he’d just been that obvious. Or maybe Cas had actually been able to guess what Dean wanted from the way Dean had said me too, Cas, even though Dean hadn’t been able to guess what Cas wanted in spite of literally being told I love you.

“Do you?” Cas asked, when Dean was silent for a second too long.

That wanting feeling, that hot tense ache that almost had Dean’s teeth gritting against it at this point, it was demanding a yes. It was saying go, go over there, what are you waiting for now? But Dean swallowed it. He couldn’t just have that. He couldn’t. Could he?

“Well,” he said. “I dunno. I mean. We are kinda old for it. Aren’t we?”

Dean watched Castiel consider it, his heart thudding.

“I’m fairly old,” Castiel said, “yes. But I think I’m still allowed to try new things.”

“New things,” Dean echoed.

“Yes.”

“Like… dating.”

“Yes,” Castiel said. “If you want to.”

“And like…” Dean went to say something else, and then stipped himself. Too many things all rushing to the front at once. Too many possibilities. Too many things that he’d given up thinking he could ever have. Too many things he’d told himself it was right that he didn’t have, because it’d be embarrassing if he did.

But now, here was Castiel, standing in front of him and saying he wanted to go on a date. Watching Dean quietly, waiting for him to finish what he’d started to say.

“Like…” Dean said, and then stopped again, and shook his head. “I don’t know, Cas. I’m not… you know.”

“You don’t want to?” Castiel said, the question spoken so neutrally that Dean knew it came with effort – Castiel’s muscles had to be heaving with holding that door open for Dean to leave through, if he wanted. But Castiel was still holding the door. Still saying, if you don’t want to, you don’t have to.

“No, I – yeah. I mean, I – yeah, I want to,” Dean said, saying the last part to the floor. His chest felt as though it was going to crack open. He wanted walk around the table between him and Cas, and drop to his knees, and just ask Cas with his eyes to touch him, anywhere, anyhow, gentle or not. “Just… I mean, look at us. Are we really gonna fit with any of that crap?”

He couldn’t imagine them trying to do the usual sweet romantic stuff. Dates and gifts and cards and flowers. So stupid after everything they’d been through, like sticking heart-shaped bows on the muzzles of two rusting guns.

“What kind of crap?” Castiel asked.

“You know. The whole schtick. Lovey-dovey crap.” Dean mumbled it, aware that even in describing it he sounded ridiculous. Lovey-dovey? Christ.

“I thought we could just try things out,” Castiel said. “And see if we can do them our way.”

“But what if it doesn’t work,” Dean said, making an attempt not to sound too wretched. He watched Castiel, waiting for him to give up, to say this was already too much work, that it wasn’t worth it, and they should just carry on going as they had been.

“Then we try something else,” Castiel said.

“Right,” Dean said, with an almost-laugh. “And we just do that over and over, huh.”

“If you’d like.”

“You’d seriously be okay with just keeping on trying forever?” He said it as if it were a joke.

“Yes,” Castiel said. “Of course.”

Dean went quiet. The expanse of the table between them was far, much too far. He stuck his hands in his pockets and nodded, because he didn’t know what else to do.

Cas saying that he’d keep trying forever was absurd. What was even more absurd was that Dean actually believed him. Cas had that look on his face, the one that allowed no argument, not angry or proud, just – sure. Certain.

If nothing they did together felt right, Cas would stick by him and keep trying new things. Forever.

Dean felt a part of himself breathe out, and with it went the last of the wall. Now Dean was immolating, standing still in the library of the bunker, just burning and burning with wanting to be touched by Cas, and –

As Dean watched, Cas’ jaw was tightening, as though he too were holding himself back against what he needed.

They stared at each other over the table. You first, Dean begged him silently. Please, just come here, just come here.

Cas’ blue eyes were locked with his, trying to say something Dean couldn’t hear.

“Cas,” Dean said, into the silence.

Cas watched him, waiting.

Dean’s mind was a blank. He didn’t know how to take this feeling, this all-encompassing burning wanting yearning feeling, and turn it into words. He didn’t know how to ask for what he wanted without accidentally putting it out of his own reach in the asking. He didn’t know how to want in the way that received, only in the way that was hopeless.

And Cas only looked at him and waited.

Dean opened his mouth.

“I don’t know,” he said. Cas’ expression flickered, but he didn’t move. “I – you – Cas, Jesus, I don’t know how to do this.”

“Do you want me to go?”

“No,” Dean said quickly, immediately.

“Do you want me to stay here?”

“Yeah. I mean…” Dean swallowed. “No.”

Now Cas looked confused.

“Do you want me to…” Cas paused, puzzling it out. Dean watched him thinking, if I shouldn’t go, and I shouldn’t stay, then…?

“Cas,” Dean said, “come here.”

Cas blinked, and Dean watched the slope of his shoulders change, watched the way Cas’ eyes lightened with a sudden hope. He watched Cas take a step around the table, and then another, slowly, as though afraid to scare Dean off.

Dean couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t speak. His hands were too big. He’d just asked Cas to come to him, and Cas was coming to him.

He couldn’t wait any longer. Dean moved, quickly, decisively, making for Cas as Cas came towards him, needing to be close and needing it now, and then – and then they were in front of each other in the bunker library, they were right in front of each other, standing with their hands by their sides and looking at each other. And all Dean could think as he looked at Cas was,

This is so heavy, it’s too much, it means too much.

And all Dean’s furiously thudding heart wanted was touch, anyway, no matter what it meant.

Cas reached up a hand, and gently – so gently – put it against Dean’s cheek.

Dean held his head up for a long moment, trying to keep himself together, keep it all in, be still, be silent. He gritted his teeth against the feeling in his chest, against the blazing of his happiness –

And then, he let go.

He closed his eyes, and breathed out. And leaned into the touch.

“I love you,” he heard Cas say.

“You shouldn’t.”

“I love you,” Cas said again, more determinedly, and Dean felt Cas’ forehead press to his own.

The touch of him was better than absolution. It was beautiful. It was perfect. Dean could feel the love of it running through him, easing the rusted gritty parts of him that had thought all this beyond him, and he wanted to gasp through the feeling of it like he was swimming through cold water. If he’d tried ten minutes ago to imagine Cas saying I love you to him again, Dean would have imagined it so sweet and unlike them. But this, this was happening. Cas’ forehead against Dean’s. Cas’ voice saying those words, I love you. And it felt real.

It felt like him, Dean, and it felt like Cas. This was who they were. This was how they loved each other.

“Me too,” Dean said. “Me too, Cas.”

He leaned forwards, and kissed Cas.

They didn’t go to the bar, in the end. They found they had enough to do without going out.

–––––

Dean

The next morning, in the kitchen, Dean turned to Cas and said casually,

“By the way, you never actually said. Are you up to date with the new research on the artifact? We should probably still try to find the damn thing.”

“Am I up to…”

Dean watched as Cas’ expression changed. It went from slight confusion, to sudden horror – and finally settled on a kind of dry acceptance.

“What?” Dean asked.

Cas came to stand by Dean, and because he could, Dean leaned forwards and kissed him again. His heart raced as he did it. Cas kissed him back, and Dean felt as though gravity probably shouldn’t be holding him down at this point.

“I, um,” Cas said. “When you texted me yesterday… I thought when you asked me that, you were asking me on a date.”

Dean’s brain took a second to catch up – and then he pressed his lips together to hold in a laugh. Cas tilted his head to one side.

“Don’t,” Cas said.

“I wouldn’t,” Dean said.

“Dean…”

“I’ll never mention it again.”

“I thought…” Cas closed his eyes, his head dropping as he smiled again at his own misunderstanding, and Dean let himself laugh. He reached out and put a hand on Cas’ shoulder, still a little tentative, still feeling his heart sing with the ability to touch. Cas leaned in, their bodies swaying together slightly.

“I love you,” Dean said, the words flowing up out of him like water from a spring, so easily, so naturally. He felt the immediate seize of panic afterwards, hearing those three words said in his own voice, out of his own mouth – but he couldn’t regret them, not when he saw Cas’ head lean back again, his blue eyes glowing with happiness.

“I love you,” Cas answered him. “I love you.”

#whelvenwingsfic #spn #destiel #deancas #destiel fic #deancas fic #it's also up on ao3 if anyone prefers! I'll reblog with a link ayo

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