something so fucked up about Chat Noir’s whole deal is that he is in a lot of ways Adrien playing a character. Like Adrien picked up his miraculous and was told he’d be a superhero so he was like “ok, time to act like a superhero!” and he lets himself have fun w it and play up the role and let loose and kind of just allow himself to be silly and goofy and have fun and for once in his life not care about performing Perfection™.
But. But none of the other characters KNOW THAT. So everyone just sees Chat Noir and is like “look at this guy’s ego. He’s so full of himself. Surely it’d be fair to knock him down a few pegs” without being aware of how few pegs he actually HAS. He’s like the “insecure character who overcompensates in ego” trope except he’s really not doing it unironically, he’s just having a fun LARP pretending to have self worth in his off-hours but nobody else is on the same page about it being a game and he refuses to tell them. He just dramatically pouts about it and lets them laugh and pretends like he’s not internalizing it and it is almost 3 am and my brain forced me to write this instead of sleeping I’m gonna take a melatonin
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SO what i would've done in my epic perfect ending to the umbrella academy is:
EITHER
- ok, if we must do the downer ending where they sacrifice themselves to save the entire world and must no longer actually exist. what would've been a lot more satisfying and clever in addition to that is: the umbrella academy comics exist in the new world.
Claire is the writer/artist mastermind behind the series, because she has this strange near-memory of someone once telling her these bedtime stories about a group of dysfunctional but endearing superheroes. she assumes it must've been her imagination, but still, there's a resonating echo of love.
boom. our brellies live on and get to learn and grow and be happy in some way, even if it's in fiction.
OR
- when Five is talking to all the versions of himself in the Five Diner, he first thinks it's the whole family that's the problem with the timeline and yeah, that they'd need to die so everyone else could live, but then!
the other versions of him tell him that no, it's not the whole family that's the wrench in the gears of the universe. it never has been. it was him.
this whole time, he's been looking for answers in every direction but within. he was the only variable he hasn't considered, the last unknown.
more specifically, it was him leaving his family that broke the timeline and caused the curse of the inevitable apocalypse.
that led to the Commission, to the Kugelblitz, to the Umbrella Effect/Keepers Cult - to every possible bad ending, in every timeline Five and Lila ever saw.
so, uh... maybe after a conversation with Diego and Lila if they wanted to resolve that whole situation more.... maybe after a conversation with Viktor (Five's childhood best friend, despite the show literally always forgetting about that)...
Five gets on the timeline train one more time, then jumps back to the day he ran away. maybe he's young again but with all his memories intact, because he's figured out how to control that now, maybe he just tells his younger self not to mess with time travel or leave home.
either way, Five goes back to dinner. then he grows up with everyone.
Ben doesn't die, because Five being there helps save him somehow. Klaus gets better, Allison learns to let go, Diego and Luther reconcile, and Viktor has a best friend to tell him he's always been special, and help him sort out his powers properly.
Lila and the other Sparrows and Jennifer are still alive in this version of events, they just grew up differently, in different places and circumstances. they all find their way to the Hargreeves, because of course they do. Allison has Claire. my beloved Grace is there.
Reginald dies, and they dance at his funeral. the world doesn't end eight days from then, or any time after that.
the show ends with the gang dancing to I Think We're Alone Now, but they're in the same room this time, all together in their old house, and everything is the way they've always deserved.
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we went to a flea market in our neighbourhood today and at some point we come across a little stand that has a bunch of stuff we rly like (not even baby stuff, but clothes and accessories for us). the girl selling looks to be about twenty and next to her is sitting an older butch woman, perhaps pushing fifty. after a few minutes, a second older butch comes to stand in the doorway of their house, chatting with us as well. my gay senses are tingling, of course, and so are baby smurf's apparently, since he choses that stand to wake up from his nap. so Lilou and I are talking to him as I'm trying on a sweater, and after obtaining Lilou's stamp of approval for the sweater, I strategically tell the women, "my wife approves, so I'll take it!"
the 20yo immediately turns to the older women and goes "oh! did you hear! two mums!!"
and so the ladies (her two mums, as is blatantly obvious by now) start talking to us about their two children (the 20yo girl and a teenage boy), say they're donor kids, ask how it went for us, how baby smurf is, tell us their first was also an angel but their second gave them a run for their money, generally chat with us for a while
it was so fun and touching bc everyone was so enthusiastic and happy - we were, the older mums were, the daughter was, everyone was all "yes! two mums!"
and then later that afternoon we walked past their stand again, and they'd been joined by a late teenage boy standing in the doorway. we wished them a good rest of the afternoon and good luck with the sales, and when they heard our voices they went "look! this our second one!" while aggressively pointing at the boy
it was generally a super fun and touching experience but I was particularly so touched by the fact that it was the adult daughter (we were closer in age to her than to her mums) who'd been so enthusiastic about seeing another kid with two mums that she couldn't hold back from yelling at her own mums about it
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