Happy New Year my lovelies!!!!! I am giving all of you a kiss <3333 Hope you have an amazing and fantastic new year, and may the person you hate achieve their downfall.
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now i am back in my crease of this vast american quilt and seeming on the verge of something new, refined in a way, my spirits glassblown. even as i am in the abyss and have so much work to do, i don’t feel alone. “your love has surely changed everything,” and in it i can see the sunrise of all our lives. i don’t mind if i get kicked out or beaten up by someone sent by my mom again, i scared her off by flashing a wry smile and getting hit like that makes the brain ring with a weird warmth anyway. now i feel like the comically trapped player of dennis caswell’s commodore 64 game, mission impossible, dared to stay a while, stay forever, but i know that a long and weary tunnel of my life is ending and independence demands me. i want my patience to send me spinning along the candy red diaphane of a flexi disc, thrown back by the collar as the recording clips after each meter without breaking its chugging progression, ending in white like samus breaking, it fills my chest with a desirous rush and the idea that to work is to pray. i spent time with my friend and saw we were the same in a few big ways, we were magnets of incredible capability for electrical conduction, we were the internet, we were trying to find VIP entry into the anime world. it was everything i could have dreamed. it made me realize how my love for daicon IV was always reflective of an appreciation for the passion of the small dedicated group toward the network intelligence that subsumed and united them, but the homage to the symbols of this intelligence, made now into empty commodities in the mill of popular culture, is also a homogenizing force, the moral associations and vaguer lures slammed into the character can stifle an original expression with its staggering size and magnetism. even in twilight, the first internet song and the right choice for the gainax guys to use for their lovely labors, the cathartic resolving line is, “i gave you time to steal my mind away from me.” but i guess the first waifu rose out of lake garda, and the most globally iconic was biblical, ideas have always traveled far. there’s a lot to the daicon girl growth, and it always takes a girl to show you the ends. an ambivalent care and unconditional love, the release into true total acceptance that washes tidally back into equanimity, is the way to feel.
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ok theme hold on. gonna cry because it’s so pretty (like you). hold i needa minute. wait hold on
no you wait hold on because I’M about to cry, in fact i’m about to sob my eyes out. i love you so much my cutie-bri 🥺.
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The best piece of advice I ever got was not meant as advice, but as an edict. If I was going to threaten people as a joke, it had to be so far out of proportion with what happened that it would be obvious I was joking. This changed how I expressed frustration with others. It then changed how I expressed frustration with myself.
Not “I’m going to hit you” but “I am going to buy a tuna sub from the gas station and hide it under the seat of your car”
Not “I’m going to kill myself” but “I am going to walk into the desert and let the scarabs take me”
The other side then happened. When I mess something up, instead of saying it’s bad and perpetuating negative thoughts, swing hard the other way.
Not “this art is terrible” but “this shall be framed and mounted on the wall in my museum exhibition as testament to the suffering I had to overcome”
Have been doing this since high school. It was my drama teacher who asked me to please stop scaring the actors. The other half of the edict was that I had to say it in a polite tone, and end it with either please or thank you.
Life changing. 10/10 Mr Muëller. Highly reccomend.
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GIRLY JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT CYERCE ELEGANS
If Cyerce nigricans is a butterfly, then this is a fairy... Cyerce nigricans for comparison:
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so my roommate is completely straight edge like no drugs no alcohol etc and so im sure y’all can imagine my surprise when i saw she brought home this sign
so i immediately inquired
and now you may ask. what the fuck did my roommate think that sign meant? well
anyways i moved the sign so it’s now front and center in our living room and ive been laughing every time i pass it
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