#you can even see the alien in the back of her birthday date art!

[shakingparadigm]

alien parents, i think? im really interested in learning about the different dynamics the cast has with their respective alien families.

[dr-lizortecho]

Kaliz fic masterlist

In chronological order <3 (of when they would occur though they’re in vastly different realities)

within series

Restless? (Mature, 2.109 words)

summary: This makes Michael look at her with wide eyes, like she’s the alien. “You talked about it?” He’s all hushed tones and urgency.

“So?” Liz rolls her shoulders, straightening her spine. “We have a healthy thing called communication.”

Alex elbows her in the side, “careful Ortecho.”

She narrows her eyes pointedly at them, “I’m just saying. We aren’t the two who bickered so much about this road trip that we got stranded

content warnings: none

Our Hearts Beat as One (Mature, 1.600 words)

summary: It’s late, the stars out in full force as Max slams the jeep door closed behind him. A tray of coffees and bag of churros held tight in his grip, even as he awkwardly shoulders the door open.

The last thing he needed was for Liz to attempt driving home without caffeine in her system. Or, somehow worse, spending the night in the lab with Kyle Valenti.

content warnings: mildly dubious consent, sex pollen, explicit sexual content

Paper Rings (Mature, 9.118 words)

summary: It’s almost comedic, in the way that leaves a bad taste in his mouth, how he had become the person Max trusted. Well, the only person, outside of Liz, with ability to inject him with an experimental batch of chemicals whipped up in the makeshift lab. Even so, still much higher on the list than Kyle believed he should be, considering their history.

Kyle sighs as he grabs Max’s forearm, holding it steady, “you remember anything?”

Max shakes his head, his fingers flexing and unflexing as Kyle pushes the plunger down on the syringe. This makes some sort of caretaker mode kick in, his hand sliding comfortingly down Max’s forearm.

“Needles,” Kyle says dryly. “Should have guessed.”

content warnings: none

Cubed (or the power of three) (Teen, 693 words)

summary: In 3x04 Kyle runs into Jones in his office.

content warnings: dubious consent

could it be I got my wish? (Teen, 797 words)

summary: It’s Halloween and Max had everyone over for a small party of sorts. Except everyone had managed to leave at a reasonable time, except Kyle, who had fallen for Max pouting and begging him to stay for the movie. All while Liz rolled her eyes at their dramatics.

content warnings: sexual content

Kisses, Cuddles & Syringes (Teen, 1.840 words) cover art by the amazing mythrasfire

summary: A look at the different ways Liz, Kyle, and Max express love and comfort throughout their relationship.

content warnings: major character death (for Max being dead early s2)

crossed the borderline of weightless (Explicit, 4.293 words)

summary: Max is gorgeous like this. On his hands and knees, curls sweat slicked to his forehead and the muscles in his back tense. Body all strong harsh lines. With leather straps pressed into glistening skin and black silk tied loose at his wrists from where they had been secured to the metal o-rings at his waist.

content warnings: explicit sexual content, bdsm

au

if we’re made of stardust… (Teen, 15.781 words)

summary: On your twenty-first birthday, that was the government mandated date. Twenty-one they reasoned was mature enough to handle anything leveled your way, alcohol, wars, and the all elusive soul mate.

content warnings: Jesse Manes is a prick, implied sexual content

Meet Cute (Teen, 1.300 words)

summary: “Hey,” the woman murmurs, adjusting her legs so Kyle can get by. Her hand coming up to grab at the guy’s thigh and slide his long legs over.

Somewhere between her smile and seeing her manicured fingers resting on his thigh, Kyle loses his thought process, which is why his feet fumble. Making popcorn spill all over the floor, and into the poor strangers laps.

content warnings: none

Sugar Sweet (Teen, 7.208 words)

summary: Liz and Maria enter into a gingerbread house competition.

Leaving Liz to find herself a team, or (an unthinkable fate) concede the win to her best friend, so she finds herself turning to the two most likely to help men she knows. It has absolutely nothing to do with how drop dead gorgeous they are, it’s purely tactical of course.

content warnings: none

and the winter passed and the sun shone upon her (Teen, 4.568 words)

summary: “Two for two,” Isobel says, clicking the buckle into place. It’s silver and ornate, there are four turquoise inlays surrounded by swirling intricate metal. A metaphor if Max ever saw one. Dallas’s first belt buckle, bought on his first mall trip with his newly discovered siblings, being a cluster of four similarly built and shaped stones.

Aka an exploration of Max Evans relationships with her friends, family and lovers.

content warnings: medical procedures

[kits-ships]

filling out the entirety of this ask game for Olive because i love having fun and getting silly

1. what are the basics of your self-insert? name, date of birth, height, etc.?

Name: Olive Madison Birthday: Sept 14, 1947 (Jumped 44yrs into the future) Height: 5’3 Current home: Maine Birthplace: Cincinnati, Ohio

2. when in canon does your self-insert come in? do you have a scene in mind for your entrance?

Between ‘The Ark in Space’ and ‘The Sonatran Experiment!’ The Doctor drops off Harry + Sarah Jane to do whatever they need to do and goes ‘ok I’ll pick you up in a day!!” 

But, when he’s by himself, the TARDIS dumps him in the middle of Ohio and he finds Olive injured after a protest. They go on a single adventure after the Doctor patches her up before she becomes a companion. &lt;3

3. how do the other characters generally feel about your self-insert?

Olive is very sisterly/motherly towards other companions, so she’s generally well-liked by them. Some are confused as to why she married the Doctor, others feel the need to stand up for her when she can’t do it herself, and others are like, “How did you get the Doctor to even flirt with you? Hold on, let me get out a pen and paper-”

Some of the villains are intrigued by her, while others only see her as something they can use to manipulate the Doctor. The alien villains in particular see her as weak because she’s a human- including the Master- but he quickly regretted underestimating her after he tried to kidnap Olive and she bit the ever-loving shit out of him.

4. would you be considered a main character, side character, villain, or something else?

She would be a main character for the twelfth season but, after that, she’s a side character with a few appearances a few times each season. There are a few AUs where she might appear more often than that, though!

5. does your self-insert have any special powers or abilities?

No, not really! She majored in botany and minored in culinary arts, but that’s about as far as her ‘special abilities’ go. I’ve considered having the Master try to turn her into a Time Lord as well, but I like that she’s just a lil human :3

6. does your self-insert have any pets?

Olive had a long-haired, black cat when she was little. It grew up alongside her until she was sixteen!

When Olive graduated college, she adopted a kitten named Celeste a month or so before she met the Doctor. Celeste got to live in the TARDIS for a bit and even came to the future alongside Olive.

In a Doctor/Olive/Master polycule, the two Time Lords adopt two ragdoll kittens for Olive! I haven’t named them yet.

With Olive/Master, they come across two orphaned kittens that Olive bottle raises. The Master named them Artemis and Apollo.

7. would any other characters (besides your f/os) have a crush on your self-insert?

I don’t think too much about this, but Harry and Bill might have little puppy crushes on her that they never act on. River having a crush on her would be cute, too!! (Jack has a crush on everyone so he doesn’t count.)

8. what is your self-insert’s orientation?

Olive is bisexual and polyamorous!

9. who are your self-insert’s closest friends?

Excluding the Doctor/Master: Sarah Jane, Jamie, Donna, and Yaz.

10. how do the other characters feel about your self-insert and f/o’s relationship?

Copy and pasting from before: Some are confused as to why she married the Doctor, others feel the need to stand up for her when she can’t do it herself, and others are like, “How did you get the Doctor to even flirt with you? Hold on, let me get out a pen and paper-”

When she’s with the Master, they’re worried and confused. Did he hypnotize Olive? Is she safe? Should they try to help the Doctor win her back? Only Graham ever gets to see how happy she is with the Master after she showed up at her house one day.

With the Doctor/Olive/Master, they are so confused, but they do their best to trust Olive and the Doctor when they say that he’s changed for the better. Still, though, they’re a bit wary of it all.

11. what kind of outfit(s) does your self-insert wear?

Olive enjoys wearing sweaters, t-shirts, jean shorts, skirts, and short overalls! Her style focuses on being comfortable and being able to garden in outfits without ruining them entirely. She also likes to wear sandals but will put on a pair of boots if she really needs to.

12. how would the fandom view your character?

I like to think that they’d see her in a similar light to Rose and River! You either really like them or you pretend they don’t exist so you can focus on shipping Thoscei.

13. does your self-insert have any information about their family?

Olive does not get along with her parents. They took care of her physical needs when she was little, but were not affectionate or very empathetic. When she went off to college, they tried to get her to major in financial accounting so that she could follow in their footsteps, but Olive just moved out and cut ties with them. Her parents had even offered to pay for her classes if she switched majors, but she didn’t wanna!! She wanted to study plants and bake cakes, goddammit!

14. what hobbies does your self-insert have?

She likes to bake, garden, and dabbles in various forms of fiber arts! Olive also enjoys fostering animals.

15. how does your self-insert play a role in the plot of the story? do they help directly defeat the villain, support the heroes, etc.?

Olive is just there to help the Doctor and be cute.

16. freebie! name a fact about your self-insert that you want everyone to know.

I don’t always draw her as such, but Olive is a redhead! Her hair is a very dark copper color but she always assumed it was just brown. It was Donna who pointed it out to her and Olive was so confused. 

(I think an explanation for this would be books and audio dramas describing her as a brunette despite the fact that she’s a redhead.)

[myvirtuesuncounted]

how are you reconciling the fact that taylor obviously cares way too much about hoarding more and more money than to use her platform as the biggest celebrity on earth to call for aid to an ongoing genocide's victims? we know she's not doing it because it would polarize her fandom, which she must know at least partially consists of zionists by now and bring down her sales. What about her dating a racist? Is getting a lot of heat for not caring your partner is racist a bad look for HER or the fandom? I ask in genuine curiosity because I used to be the biggest swiftie, even on my last birthday every single gift i got was taylor merch but after waking up from this brainwash I can't stand her. I truly hope you answer, I wanna know how you're thinking.

thank you for sending this and trusting me with this topic, it truly makes me consider how i'm interacting with taylor swift as an artist and person and the fandom. i'm so sorry you feel that way, i know how hard it can be to have a shift in perspective like that. i'll do my best to address your two main points.

firstly, with her politics, it has been an extreme letdown since miss americana to see her so disengaged with modern politics when she preached about "being on the right side of history" not too long ago. now, the fandom always brings up the argument that celebrities should not be the pinnacles of activism which i agree with, but if you're gonna make a whole documentary about your struggles and how they relate to you wanting the world to be a better place and becoming a voice for that, surprise surprise, people will expect that from you and be disappointed that you don't live up to it. to hone in more specifically about your point regarding the genocide in gaza, "i've never heard silence quite this loud", frankly. from our beloved miss americana, not even a link to a charity or an instagram repost in relation to it. and while i'm not sure how aware she is regarding her fanbase's ideologies, i do think what you bring up as alienating her fans is something she has considered in talking about any politics honestly (why do you think she just tells people to vote every now and then and doesn't back a certain party/candidate openly?)

to answer your question more specifically on how i reconcile that part of her as a taylor swift fan is much more complex as it makes me consider how i interact with artists as a whole, but i think my main approach from the past year or so (all this shit escalated and became clear to me since joever, i find) has been to step away from her as a diehard stan, which defined me in 2021-22, and interacting with her and her art as i do with any other artist. now this brings me into "separate the art from the artist" discourse, which is always polarising and something i find is coming up much more often for me and society in general, but i think the crux of it is just, don't hold celebrities up on a pedestal, and critically engage with how their views and values influence the output of their work. in light of taylor's lack of political activism, songs like 'the man' become shallow in their meaning, even if they are well intended, so a sort of redefining has occurred to me for sure. i don't know how to explain this in a way that isn't divisive or blasé and i may be a shitty person for this, i'll admit it, but 99% of the time, i like artists solely for their bodies of work, i hardly care to learn about them as a person and don't go beyond the odd interview or promotional material for many of them (most artists i listen to, i don't even engage with outside of spotify or fanedits); to put it simply, i'm solely there for the music. i bring this up because taylor swift is an anomaly for me; it's so easy to get swept up into her fanbase and i found myself in the trenches of it from 2021 to now. so with all this disillusionment and 'waking up from the brainwash', i find myself adopting the aforementioned approach and interacting les and less with the fandom, which i will talk more about below.

my interactions with the fandom are especially relevant in relation to mattygate. i knew almost nothing about matty healy before this, except the tiny amount of background info i got following her appearing as a surprise guest at his concert in january 2023 (?). when i found out his true nature, i was thoroughly appalled, and i found myself deep in discourse everywhere; nowhere was safe, tumblr and tiktok were equally horrible. i remember vividly all the hate anons my swiftie mutuals (especially poc) received and one or two i got myself as well (i am quite a small blog so i am privileged in that sense), it was truly the turning point for myself and so many others in how we viewed taylor. to answer your question "Is getting a lot of heat for not caring your partner is racist a bad look for HER or the fandom?", it is 100% a bad look for her but also a little bit for her fandom as it elicits a reaction from outsiders like "this is who you're aligning yourself with?", which is frankly warranted given how some swifties bend their backs over to defend her 'right' to date anyone she pleases (it's gotten worse since but daddy i love him, people are talking about how it's about her autonomy when honestly, it doesn't excuse it). i remember feeling extremely disillusioned by her (and i still do) and it has 100% affected how i approach her and the fandom. i already touched on how i approach her now, but i think the fandom is also important to discuss as taylor is so often defined by it as an artist unlike anyone else. for one, i've stopped calling myself a swiftie as i didn't want to be associated with all the shit that goes down with them in a myriad of ways. another is becoming more cynical and cautious surrounding her recent works and endeavours. if you follow me, you know i've talked about how i'm working on a ttpd review (so sorry for taking so long, life is getting in the way) and i think it's the most critical i've been of taylor's music. swifties (and taylor haters for that matter) can certainly be the types of people who tell you to kill yourself over any opinions on taylor, so i honestly think the most radical thing you can do is stand strongly by your personal perspective. for example, i do not like the 1830s lyric not because i don't UNDERSTAND it, but because in light of mattygate, it feels performative and shallow, it's like a "read the room" situation. and as a chronic people pleaser, it's fucking hard to form strong opinions! but it's so important!

i kinda went on a tangent there, moving back to your question on reconciling in relation to mattygate: is it a bad thing to say that this affected me more than the above point on political activism? like how i can't listen to 'but daddy i love him' because i know she thinks my criticisms are "bitching and moaning". and in light of ttpd, which is drudging up all this old (and new) discourse surrounding matty, i truly am disconnecting from taylor more than ever. with both of your points in mind, it truly becomes difficult to be a diehard swiftie and to place your steadfast support behind someone preaching white feminism, but yeah, at this point, it's mostly about the music for me.

i hope i answered your questions to some extent, please come back if you have any more questions or concerns. you should not feel bad for what you're experiencing, this is all valid.

[moonbeambucky]

Hey Neighbor (Part 23)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Peter Quill x Reader Word Count: 3787 Warnings: fluff, light angst

Summary: You had a plan and then life came along with one of its own. With your future almost derailed you worked hard to get yourself back on track and finally everything seemed to be going right… that is, until your new neighbor moved in.

A/N: Sorry for the delay but it’s here now, I hope you enjoy! Feedback is always appreciated!

HEY NEIGHBOR PART 22 | HEY NEIGHBOR MASTERLIST

It was hard to come to the realization that Bucky did want a relationship but you didn’t cut it. The weekend at the wedding was a test and you failed. You may have gotten high scores but obviously there was something about Claire that made her better than you. You’ve known Bucky for almost a year but in one date she was able to capture his heart in a way you never could.

The truth sits in your stomach like a rock, feeling the pain each time you move. It’s a boulder tied to your leg and you’re drowning but Peter cuts the rope, with soft gazes and a tender touch, sweet words and sweet sounds he pulls from you as you’re tangled together in bed.

You let go, let yourself be pulled into a bright world where Peter is waiting, because he actually wants you. There is no test. No competition with the exception of Groot. Even Rocket warmed up to you, the temperamental animal preferring to cuddle up in your lap over Peter’s. There was light now that the sea was no longer about to swallow you whole.

The group chat would still go off with messages about plans but you chose not to attend, taking the time to be alone with Peter or hang out with his friends. Drax was a fellow firefighter, a burly man, bald as an egg and covered in tattoos. Thor was a firefighter too, tall with cropped blond hair and biceps bigger than your head and then there was Gamora, the first friend Peter made when he moved to the city. And by friend you think he meant girlfriend though they have more of a platonic relationship now. She was effortlessly beautiful with rich brown eyes and hair, with the ends dyed a bright magenta that complimented the warmth of her skin.

It was nice to hang out with different people and it opened you up to seeing a new side of Peter when he was with his friends. Sometimes he was the Peter you knew, lighthearted and playful, teasing Drax for being too serious to understand a joke, other times Drax would make fun of him; a booming cackle coming from deep in his belly as he laughed at Peter’s expense. Most of the time Gamora would roll her eyes, calling them both idiots.

Thor did his fair share of teasing too although much less now that he was transferred to a new station. It’s probably for the best considering how often he and Peter seem to be in competition with each other though it’s all friendly underneath and you could tell how close everybody was.

They acted like a family and quickly accepted you as a part of theirs but your heart ached behind your smile, missing your own family. Steve who was like a brother to you, Wanda your sister, Peggy the mom of the group who was always there to care and comfort you if you were hurt, and Natasha the other mom that struck fear into the hearts of anyone who would dare hurt her family. Sam and Clint were the troublemakers and then there was Bucky.

You couldn’t think of how to describe him when you didn’t know what was real anymore. The Bucky that exists today is not the person you first knew; the man that was passionate about his music but apologized the moment he realized he was inconveniencing you. He didn’t have to do that. He could have been your asshole neighbor but instead he became a friend.

Peter takes your hand, jolting you from your thoughts as he pulls you off the couch to dance to “Come and Get Your Love.” It’s a fun distraction and you allow yourself to enjoy being swept up by it and surrounded by Peter’s affection.

Groot became accustomed to seeing you in Peter’s apartment, giving you a big greeting as you came over for dinner after a long day of work. Peter was able to steal a kiss before the big dog demanded more of your attention.

“Babe, can I use your laptop?” you asked, kneeling down to rub Groot’s stomach, hitting the spot that made his leg twitch.

Peter stepped away from the stove, wiping his hands quickly on a towel before getting his laptop from the bedroom. With Groot satisfied by his tummy rubs you were free to say hi to Rocket though he was sleeping.

“Here you go,” Peter said, handing you the laptop and leaning in for a better greeting. His tongue slipped past your lips as he deepened the kiss, pulling away when the hiss of boiling water splashed against the flames.

You set the laptop down on his table, bouncing your leg as you opened the cover and waited for it to load. Commencement was next month and you hadn’t applied for graduation yet. An email reminder you got earlier today sent you into a panic as the deadline was coming up.

It was not like you to forget something as important as this. Sure, there’s been a lot going on in the last month but there is no excuse to have let this slip your mind. You’re eager to take care of it right away, ready to log on to your school’s website but the last page Peter browsed was still up and it made your jaw drop.

“Oh my god Peter!” You flipped the laptop around to face him as he craned his head back. “What is this?” you asked, bursting with laughter.

Peter bloomed red like a rose, eyes going wide as he laughed, “Oh shit, sorry!”

The Sex Files, a threesome with an Agent Mulder-esque man having sex with two alien women, a busty brunette painted dragon fruit pink and the other a slim redhead with Wicked Witch green skin.

“Aliens, really?” You raised a brow questioning him with a smirk.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, slightly embarrassed. “It was on the main page. I gave it a chance,” he shrugged, chuckling.

You shook your head laughing, opening up a new tab so you could finally submit your graduation application. As Peter finished preparing dinner you ordered your cap and gown, smiling a little wider when you saw the citron hood, a symbol of all the hard work you’ve put in towards your Master’s degree.

Over dinner you teased Peter a little more about his video. “It’s fine if you’re into that but you won’t catch me painting my skin. Do you know how messy that would be?”

“You might as well. If I had a black light, I bet this place would already look like a Jackson Pollock painting.”

Groot lifted his head at your loud burst of laughter, playfully shoving Peter’s arm. You wouldn’t be lying if you said his joke was still on your mind later that night, lying together in his bed after having just added to the invisible art.

Hot sticky skin against each other’s, the sheets lightly draped over you as the mugginess of the air settled in the room. Your eyes closed languidly, watching the rise and fall of Peter’s chest as you drifted to sleep.

The sun blazes on the street of a sweltering Sunday morning as you walk towards your destination, wiping the sweat from your brow as you huff down into the seat beside Natasha and Wanda whose hair were nearly identical now though Wanda’s had a more fiery copper tone. A tiny smile pulls at your lips when you see mimosa flutes already on the table; now it was officially time for brunch.

You apologize for not seeing them as much lately and thankfully they understood. Wanda was practically inseparable from Sam when they first started dating so she definitely didn’t blame you, although she still thought you were making a mistake.

Bucky was in the back of your mind though you did your best to ignore the fact that you were at the same place you met Wanda almost a full year ago to complain about your new neighbor. So many things have changed but obviously it’s for the better.

“So…” Natasha said with an enticing tone in her voice. She wiped crumbs off of her lips, a faded cherry red from the lipstick that still clung to them. “I have big news.”

“You’ve set a date!” “You’re pregnant!” You and Wanda spoke at the same time, waiting with anticipation to see who was right.

“No,” Natasha laughed. “I made partner!”

“Congratulations, that’s amazing!” you said, leaning over to hug her.

Wanda followed suit and as you sat back down you kept your lips pressed tightly together, eyes widening as Natasha raised a brow to question Wanda about her guess. She sunk back into her seat, clenching her teeth with embarrassment but Natasha was only kidding (or maybe she wasn’t, sometimes you couldn’t tell.)

“Clint and I are going to throw a party once it’s official, nothing big. Y/N is it okay if I invite Bucky?”

Natasha’s turned towards you, holding your gaze with compassion overflowing in the depths of her eyes. She knew what happened between you and Bucky. Whether someone told her or she put it together herself, the latter most likely, it didn’t matter. She knew. She knew and she wasn’t looking to force a resolution but to make sure that you as her friend would be comfortable being around Bucky. You assumed she realized you weren’t only spending time with Peter because of your new relationship but still Natasha didn’t question your actions. She waited patiently, a soft smile on her pillowy lips until you gave an answer.

“Of course Tash, you can invite Bucky.” Wanda started to look as green as her avocado toast as she gave you a worried stare. “I promise, I don’t have a problem with him.”

No one questioned your answer despite the opinions they held back silently and the rest of brunch was spent playing catch up since Steve’s birthday. You hadn’t really missed much, Clint was sleeping until noon most days, Steve was still growing in his beard, Bucky was… still with Claire. Yeah. You figured. You may have checked her Instagram again, seeing a picture of two coffee orders tagged at The Grind House.

After leaving the girls you went home with a seed of anxiety planted in your stomach, knowing it will grow larger every day until Natasha’s party where you would have to see Bucky and Claire again. You wanted to get this over with, rip the band aid off and see them but sometimes life liked to mess with you. Natasha’s party wouldn’t be until the following weekend because this weekend she and Clint were going to Vermont so he could participate in an amateur archery tournament.

You try your best not to focus on the countdown until the party despite the sequoia sized tree of anxiety, each limb a different scenario playing out in your mind of all the terrible things that could happen. It didn’t help that this was your last week at Metro-General as the semester was over. While you were thrilled to have finally finished your hours leaving Elena made you emotional.

This was the end of a long journey, a ride you never expected to be on for so long but now it was over; this is the end of the line and part of you doesn’t want to get off the train. Your legs are atrophied from being in the same spot, Stark Industries, Metro-General, soon it would be time to walk away from both but you’re not sure you remember how. The real world is scary and your doubts and fears are starting to take over.

On the Monday before the party there’s a knock on your door and all you can do is smile. You’ve expressed to Peter just how anxious you are about actually achieving your dream. He comforted you, reminding you there was nothing to worry about and to cheer up. Peter always knew how to bring out your smile and you suspect he’s orchestrated another flower delivery for you. A pre-graduation congratulations of sorts, something to lift your spirits and get your mind back on track to where it needs to be.

You open the door without looking, expecting to see a grand bouquet, or even courier holding balloons but instead there was Bucky. You felt the tree twist within your body, growing to an enormous scale. Your eyes catch sight of an item in his hand, a hanger wrapped in plastic and beneath it the dress you wore to the wedding.

“Hey nei– ” He cleared his throat, speaking your name instead after watching the way your whole body dropped at the sight of him, from the smile that faded to the slouch of your shoulders. “I needed to get my suit dry cleaned and I forgot about this. I got it dry cleaned too so, uh… don’t worry about it.”

He rambled a bit, nervous, handing the dress to you.

“Thanks.” You said, biting back the nauseous feeling that crept its way up your throat.

“Going to Nat’s party?” he asked, hoping small talk would open the door to a real conversation.

Yes, I was friends with them first. “Yeah.” The curtness stayed in your mind only though your short answer wasn’t any friendlier.

Bucky nodded his head, “Kay… cool,” he said, with an uneasy tone that tried to pass itself off as calm. “See ya there.”

You smiled with tension, shutting your door. Tears were burning in your eyes, falling down your cheek as you jolted at the sound of his door slamming beside yours. Your dress was tossed to the side as you ran into the bathroom, running the water in the shower to mask the sound of your body heaving over the toilet. Bile burned up your throat, hot tears streaked down your cheeks and your heart felt like it was being torn apart by wolves.  

Avoiding Bucky didn’t help you get over him, and seeing him now, clutching your dress… a painful reminder of the weekend you spent together made it all worse. You wanted to call Wanda, to cry in her arms again, or Steve or even Val, to get drunk with and forget this ever happened. But you couldn’t call anyone. You couldn’t do anything but sink onto the cool tile floor of the bathroom, wishing you never met Bucky, sorry that he ever moved next door in the first place. You cried until there was nothing left to give.  

Now that you were done with your internship you were back at Stark Industries full time, devoting your days to The September Foundation, and helping coordinate a guest list for the opening gala. It was a lot of work that kept your mind very occupied so when it was time for Natasha’s party you were feeling better.

Better but not great.

Every time you glanced over at Claire’s arm looping through Bucky’s you felt weak and gripped Peter with a tighter hold. Each time he would lean down to kiss your temple, to hug you, hold you, show affection in any way while being ignorant of the real meaning behind your touch.

Claire waved her hand in front of Bucky’s eyes, having apparently been calling out to him though he didn’t hear it. He was caught up in his thoughts, lost in a tunnel that plunged him further into darkness every time Peter caressed your sweet skin.

He apologized, snapping himself back, taking note of the concern held in Claire’s eyes. He forced his muscles to fake a smile but it was useless, just as he tried to force the emotion that was absent in their kiss. Does Claire feel it too? It’s been that way for a while, empty actions, going through the motions so Bucky can continue to convince himself that something is there but he can’t do it anymore.

The next day he breaks up with Claire and it isn’t a surprise. They part on amicable terms and while Bucky should feel better he doesn’t. You’re still with Peter, and it was his stupidity that sent you straight into his arms.

Claire was supposed to be something special, that relationship he had been longing for but instead she was just a distraction, a voice to occupy his mind, a warm body to keep him company, but none of it worked. Her voice was nails on a chalkboard compared to yours, her body a pair of dice thrown across a half empty puzzle; it wasn’t a match, she wasn’t you.

Now it’s Bucky’s turn to avoid you, staying quiet in his apartment, taking the stairs so he didn’t have to chance meeting you in the elevator. He can’t handle it. He walks quickly past your door, his heart wrenching every time he’s forced to think of you, remembering what he lost.

Emptiness creeps in like a fog, loneliness settles in the empty cavern of his heart, without you life has lost its rhythm.

It’s late in the day when you receive an email from your school that sends you reeling. You couldn’t graduate. You thought it was a mistake, it had to be! There was no way this was correct.

Shaking fingers dialed the school as shaky hands stumbled across the keyboard, logging into your records and double checking that every class you’ve taken over the years is complete with a grade, and then you saw it. Your internship. INCOMPLETE.

Upon the school’s review you didn’t have enough hours, which is impossible because you have been busting your ass since the Fall semester to do this. You planned it, calculated every day, every hour and yet somehow you were wrong.

Your voice cracked as you begged for a resolution, bawling to the person over the phone that you’re thankful can’t see the way tears and snot are streaming down your face, sorry for the fact that they have to hear the way you loudly blow your nose into the phone.

By the end of the conversation you have a plan but it isn’t one that you like. You can walk for commencement next week but you would have to make up the hours and won’t receive your diploma until December.

You cleaned your face, barely, hoping to avoid everyone as you made your way down to Steve’s desk. You broke the moment you saw him, trying to keep your composure as best as you could until he was ready to leave.

Steve was devastated for you as was Wanda when you spoke to her that night. Natasha was already looking into your school’s policies to see if there was any legal recourse. “We can prove negligence on their behalf by failing to communicate in a timely manner to you the student that you did not meet the necessary requirements for graduation, therefore breaching their contractual obligation to provide adequate course guidance in accordance with…”

She went on with more legal jargon before you stopped her. “No, Nat this is my fault. It was my responsibility to calculate my hours. Would it have been nice to have an accurate figure to go off of? Sure, but I was the one who should have double checked. If I went in for an audit I would have known exactly how many hours I needed to get complete before the deadline.”

Natasha let out a sigh of frustration, wishing there was something more she could have done. Instead she let you lean against her, curled up on her couch as Clint prepared a giant bowl of ice cream topped with whipped cream, M&Ms and chocolate syrup.

“Thanks guys, I really appreciate this,” you sniffled, wiping a stray tear away.

It was nice to have your friends around for the night considering Peter was working. You could have texted him about this but chose not to. His shifts are long and stressful as it is and you didn’t want to add to whatever might already be on his mind.

But the next day you went to his apartment after work, somberly dragging yourself in through the door. Groot was able to put a smile on your face, and Rocket too, sticking his little hand out to try and unlock his cage upon hearing your voice but it wasn’t enough to stop the tears.

You took Peter by surprise as you wrapped your arms around him, soaking through his shirt as you cried. He held you close, stroking your hair gently as he whispered, “It’s okay. Whatever it is, it’s going to be okay.”

Peter walked you to the couch, his thumb softly wiping away tears, squeezing your hand in his as he waited for you to let him know what was going on. And when you did he let out a sigh of relief. “You scared me so much. I thought something bad happened.”

You were taken aback by his reaction, confused for a moment because maybe in your tear riddled conversation the truth about what happened got lost.

“Peter, I can’t graduate. I have to wait until December.”

“Right but you’re going to graduate. You can still go to commencement and all you have to do is make up the hours right? Did you talk to Elena?”

Of course you spoke to Elena, she was sorry to hear about what happened and is going to work something out with you but that wasn’t the point.

“Peter, I don’t think you understand what this means to me. One of my best friends died from a situation that could have been prevented if a social worker was involved. Ever since then my only goal in life was to become a social worker, to never let something like that happen again. And now I have to wait four months to graduate, four months before I can apply for jobs and go on interviews.”

“It’s just four months.”

Whatever Peter said after you didn’t hear. Everything was white noise as four simple words destroyed your soul. How could he not understand? It doesn’t matter that you will be able to make up your hours (which you will), it doesn’t matter that you are allowed to walk for commencement next week (which you won’t because it isn’t real). What mattered was that after all this time, all of your hard work, the sacrifices you’ve made, working full time while you were in school, exhausting yourself to the bone with your internship, that none of it was enough and you still have to wait. It isn’t just four months, it's a painful setback for your dreams.

Peter doesn’t get it.

Bucky got it...

PART 24

[thatmultifandomhoe]

BTS - Master List

No word count = under 1k.

    💞 = Fluff

    🌩 = Angst

    💋 = Smut

Updated as of 6-6-2021.

Click here to Return to the Main Master List.

Drabbles:

This is Girl Talk, so Leave 💞

Slice of Life AU

Do you think I’m scared of a woman? 💞

College AU

Slice of Life AU

Short Stories:

A Lifetime under Moonlit Nights 🌩 💞

5k

God AU

Overview: It was a love story that began when Gods roamed the Earth, and lasted over the course of several centuries, always under the beauty of a moonlit sky. When one life cut too short, you realize how tiresome it is to constantly be reborn.

Series:

Dad Jokes and Spilled Coffee 💞

Book 7 in the Mated Love is Never Easy Universe

Hybrid AU

Overview: TBW

Sneak Peak: “I knew I was handsome, but now I’m just hot. And it’s not because of the coffee that you spilled on me either.”

Drabbles:

Please...love me 🌩

Have I mentioned, I fucking hate Halloween 💞

Safety First 🌩

Unrequited Love AU

College AU

Short Stories:

If you can’t sleep...we could have sex? 💞 💋

2k

Slice of Life AU

Overview: You can’t fall asleep. So Yoongi finds an alternative solution to your problem.

A Slice of Forever 💞 🌩

3k

Vampire AU

Poly AU

Featuring Namjoon

Overview: They were just stories. Werewolves, Witches, Gremlins, Vampires...they were all a story that thrived off of Halloween. At least, that’s what you thought. Until you met them.

Series:

Midnight Love Songs 💞 🌩 💋

Book 4 in the Mated Love is Never Easy Universe

Hybrid AU

Overview: TBW

Sneak Peak: “The stars are pretty, but there’s a moon that shines more brightly, and who I love quite dearly.”

Drabbles:

Tied Up 💞 💋

Date Night AU

Short Stories:

Man-Child 🌩

1k

Idol AU

Stop Being So Cute 💞

3k

Coffee Shop AU

Overview: Dating is never easy. So when your best friend sets you up on a blind date, you agree to meet up at a coffee shop. Only problem is, he never shows up, and a certain barista can’t help glancing your way.

Daydreaming About Dandelions 💞

3k

Daycare AU

Overview: For the time that they were in your classroom, they were your kids and nothing meant more to you than them. Being a teacher at a daycare was your life, and to your surprise, the new teacher Mr. Hoseok, was going to be shadowing you for the day.

Hookup on an Airplane 💋💞

7k

Traveling AU

Overview: You were finally achieving your dream of traveling the world, and the the first stop on your list was South Korea. After a stressful morning and with a long day ahead, all you wanted to do was sleep on the plane. But when your seat mate turns out to be cute, and offers to help you take care of a certain problem, well, the flight suddenly becomes more fun than you expected.

Series:

Strawberry Cream and BBQ 💞 💋 🌩

85k in total.

Book 1 in the Mated Love is Never Easy Universe

Hybrid AU

Completed

Overview: Your best friend knows that she can count on your for anything, so when she asks you to watch her hybrid while she’s gone for a study abroad trip, you can’t say no. But when these four months are over, things have changed in a way that no one expected.

Move in Day: A SC&BBQ Drabble 💞 4k

Drabbles:

Does he know about the baby? 💞

Slice of Life AU

Overview: Namjoon accidentally reads a text that wasn’t meant for him.

Short Stories:

My Everything 💞

2k

Slice of Life AU

Overview: You go to a family reunion that only results in disaster with how your family treats you, so you go back home to seek comfort in your boyfriend.

Yellow Gerber Daises 💞

1k

Slice of Life AU

Overview: It’s your birthday, but you’re the one who has a surprise for Namjoon.

Stop interrupting me 🌩

1k

Slice of Life AU

Dear Diary... 💞

1k

Soul Mate AU

College AU

Overview: The last thing Namjoon expected was to wake up in someone else’s bed, let alone with a stranger who he doesn’t remember in the slightest bit.

A Slice of Forever 💞 🌩

3k

Vampire AU

Poly AU

Featuring Yoongi

Overview: They were just stories. Werewolves, Witches, Gremlins, Vampires...they were all a story that thrived off of Halloween. At least, that’s what you thought. Until you met them.

Brotið Hjarta 🌩💞

25k

Fantasy AU

Elf AU

Norse Light Elf Mythology

Overview: When a magical storm threatens to wipe out your home, you venture into the forest in search of someone - anyone - who can help end it. When an Elf takes you in after getting injured, you learn that those who live in the forest are not the monsters your village town has made them out to be, but victims.

Series:

Knitting You a Home 🌩💞💋

Book 2 in the Mated Love is Never Easy Universe

Hybrid AU

In-Progress

Overview: With questions far larger than either of you imagined, you can’t help but wonder if Namjoon’s let his past and old fears to come back and haunt him. You had shown him that it was possible to have a home and to be loved once before, but will you be able to do it again?

Drabbles:

I’m not going to be sympathetic until you see a Doctor 💞

Slice of Life AU

Welcome back. Now fucking help me💞

Slice of Life AU

Short Stories:

Dancing in Europe 💞

2k

Idol AU

Overview: You and Jimin have only recently started dating when he he whisks you of to Europe on his days off, and surprises you with a date to go see a ballet performance.

Mon Amour 💞

1k

College AU

Artist AU

Overview: You were Jimin’s muse. No matter what his materials were, his ideas, he always found you at the center of his latest art piece.

Memories of Old and New 💞

6k

Christmas AU

Established Relationship AU

Slice of Life AU

Overview: It the first Christmas that you’re celebrating with Jimin, but the magical holiday isn’t the same after the unexpected passing of your parents.

Type 2 💞 🌩

10k

Established Relationship AU

Slice of Life AU

Medical Condition

Overview: You were diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in high school and ever since then, you’re been able to manage it without a problem Sticking to a schedule and monitoring your blood was easy. Then came Jimin, and you suddenly you found yourself hiding it all from him. But when your blood sugar drops dangerously low in the middle of the night, Jimin’s the only one who can help you.

Series:

Snapshots of Our Story 💞

Sleep - Sleepless Nights - Pt 3?

Idol AU

Overview: With a once in a lifetime chance of hanging out with BTS for a week, you and Jimin unexpectedly end up growing feelings for each other. These are the snapshots as the two of you try to make it all work out.

Simply Baby Steps 💞 🌩 💋

Book 3 in the Mated Love is Never Easy Universe

Hybrid AU

Overview: TBW

Sneak Peak: “I don’t care if it’s just the two of us for the rest of our lives. I love you, and we’re going to figure this out, together. That’s what it means to have a Mate; supporting and being there for them when everything is going right, and being there when they’re hurting and loving them nonetheless. Because I’ll always love you, no matter what.”

Drabbles:

Tell me that you need me 💋

Vampire AU

I’m not buying IKEA furniture again 💞

Slice of Life AU

Short Stories:

Otherworldly Lovin’ 💋

6k

Alien AU

Overview: Not only did he crash land into your yard, but he also crashed right into your heart...among other places.

Series:

Knowing You 💞 🌩

Late Night Bus Rides - A Missed Stop

Idol AU

Unrequited Love AU

Completed

Overview: You and Taehyung were best friends, feelings grew, and even when he went off to become an Idol, you thought nothing would ever change your friendship. But then life came knocking.

Running Wild 🌩💞💋

Book 5 in the Mated Love is Never Easy Universe

Hybrid AU

Overview: TBW

Sneak Peak: “I’ve always been told that I was runner. So I ran. From everything that was possible to run away from. With you, for the first time all I want to do is stay.”

Drabbles:

I lost our baby 💞

Slice of Life AU

Overview: Jungkook looses more than a game of hide and seek.

The ladies love a guy who’s good with kids 💞

Overview: Jungkook has an unlikely helper when trying to impress you.

Short Stories:

The Coffee Lounge 💞

6k

College AU

Overview: Jungkook has had a crush on you since the semester started, and when he informs you about an essay that you knew nothing about and is due the next morning, he jumps at the chance to help you out with it. What he doesn’t realize, is that you share the same feelings for him.

Sorry isn’t going to help when I kick your ass! 🌩

1k

Idol AU

Overview: All he wanted to do was surprise you, but when he arrives at your place, Jungkook realizes just how much work has interfered with his relationship with you.

One on One 💞

3k

Boxer AU

College AU

Overview: He was a boxer, and you were a student. Two separate lives and yet, you were the one putting him back together.

Consequences 💞 🌩

6k

College AU

Forbidden Love AU

Overview: You had dated one of his best friends - someone Jungkook considered to be an older brother - and even though were single and he never once stopped loving you, dating was an impossible option. The consequences of dating an ex of the leader? Life threatening.

Series:

Mistaken Identity 🌩 💋 💞

Book 6 in the Mated Love is Never Easy Universe

Hybrid AU

Overview: TBW

Sneak Peak: “I got sick of them calling me something that I’m not, that I pushed myself to prove to them who I really am. But without you, I’m right back where I started. Lost and incomplete.”

[hawkepockets]

Hello! I love the art you made about Kite Shepard. Is your AMA still open? I'd be curious to know more about them and their back story.

hi! thank you! i always love getting questions yes! (ㅅ´ ˘ `)♡

kite’s backstory is colonist/ruthless. she grew up on mindoir with a large family, but they worked at a spaceport instead of a farm. kite is more used to aliens than a lot of colony kids, since a few would always be passing through on supply and commercial ships, and she had a few cousins who dated asari, but mindoir was first & foremost a human world, so she has a really strong connection to her own people. she learned to love tech as a kid shadowing her parents and older cousins in the shipyard, and has been a tinkerer for as long as she can remember. she’s also always been a firecracker, with a short temper and a lot of energy. she got called a brat a lot as a child, but always with affection.

the batarian attack happened when she was 16. the raiders hit the spaceport hard to stop humans from evacuating off planet. kite and most of her extended family survived, but seeing her neighbors shot down or abducted, her family’s work destroyed, and her community turned into a war zone really messed with kite’s head. she threw herself completely into rebuilding the shipyard and learning about ships and weapons, then joined the alliance on her 18th birthday. although she was already traumatized and a little weird, her first crew liked her. she was a chatty, energetic, fierce little soldier who spent most of her time poking around in the engine room—a lot like tali before the reaper war.

just a few years after that was torfan. kite had tried not to blame batarians as a people for what happened on mindoir, but when left alone with all her commanding officers dead, just 21 years old, already wired and hopeless from the long siege, and watching the batarians desecrate alliance soldiers’ bodies and mock them for retreating, kite lost her fucking mind. she led a berserker charge that wiped out every batarian defender on torfan, even the ones who tried to surrender. she lost half of her hearing in an explosion and lost her unit too, almost to the last man. for an experienced commander it would’ve been a career-ending disgrace. for kite, a kid sister to most of her crew and low ranking enough that she should never have had to call that shot, it was just a tragedy.

when she was allowed to return to duty, her remaining crew almost didn’t recognize her. she didn’t speak at all for a while, and barely reacted when people spoke to her—half the time she couldn’t hear them. she stopped tinkering or showing interest in any piece of tech besides her own rifle, which she stripped and reassembled obsessively. she just wasn’t the same kid at all. her crewmates complained about her attitude or reported worrying about her to the point of distraction, and before long kite was reassigned to anderson’s ship.

with anderson as her captain she started talking again. her sense of humor started to come back, although crooked and rare. she was able to forgive batarians, for real this time, but never shook off the feeling that humans were easy targets in this galaxy and that if she didn’t look out for her people, aliens certainly would not. she never got back into engineering, instead focusing all her energy on becoming a better sniper. now she’s one of the best shots in the alliance.

her skill wasn’t the main thing that got her shortlisted as a possible spectre candidate, though—it was her lack of hatred for the batarians, her simultaneous desire to protect and represent humans and ability to work with aliens. although kite is an angry, gruff person of not too many words, she is still deeply kind, something that was not lost on either anderson or nihlus.

[rueitae]

Writing Roundup 2020

This is a writing reflection I’ve been doing for myself every year for the last four years. Its a positive boost to myself see how far I’ve come and look back on my progress for the past year and look forward to the new year. 

Everyone is welcome to use this same format if they’d like to do the same! 

~~~~~~~

Stats:

Words written:

330,000, which is nearly half of all the words I’ve written on Ao3 in the last three years. 

One Shots Posted (all fics plance unless otherwise stated):

In the Arms of the Ever(pink?) Tree (4463 words)

For the Plance Secret Santa exchange. Post s8 date/not date on a snowy moon. Love confession. 

Birthday Treats (2129 words)

For Pidge’s birthday this year! Domestic family fluff, breakfast in bed, plance kids.

Begin Again (Together) (4805 words)

Canon divergence from before episode one! Pidge and Lance are established dating when alien intervention brings them to where they are supposed to be: with the Blue Lion. Just a brief look into what the AU would look like. 

Common Ground (4521 words)

A treat for my friends who introduced me to Magic Knight Rayearth and pointed out some fun character parallels. There is this beautiful art Arya made to go with it because we’re all trash for both series. Plance meet up with Fuu and Ferio post series for both couples. 

Bonded To You (1808 words)

For the Langstron Halloween Exchange! Established plance with a baby Lance is trying to keep safe from a witch who would take advantage of the child’s heritage. 

It Tasted Good (6785 words)

Pikelavar for Pikelavar Month! The premise is crack, but it's mostly treated seriously. Pike ate the Jewel of Jitan by accident and doesn’t realize it until Haggar finds them. Meklavar gets Protective.

The Remainder of Days (3188 words)

Part of my Bad Things Happen Bingo. Fantasy AU where Pidge is a minor forest goddess and Lance is her neighbor mortal farmer. 

I Love You a Lily More Each Day (3232 words)

Another of the Bad Things Happen Bingo. Canon compliant where Lance is undercover at a flower shop and knee deep in an illegal smuggling operation. 

Lease on Life (4978 words)

This one was also part of Bad Things Happen Bingo and was an experiment. It’s POV of an oldest plance kid, canon verse. Her parents’ Paladin days come back to haunt them one night. Some cute family stuff too in there. 

Ready to Dance (4135 words)

For the Valentine’s Day exchange! Post series. Lance tries to get back into the party scene and Pidge rescues him from a disastrous night. 

Loopholes (5476 words)

Technically I didn’t write this fic this year, but a very kind reader asked if I would post this to Ao3, so it was my first fic of the year on Ao3. It’s Lotura! Originally a gift for a dear friend I’ve had since elementary school. It’s a fantasy AU where Lotor stumbles into Allura’s kingdom needing help. 

Next to Me (7311 words)

Also for Bad Things Happen Bingo, this is probably one of my favorite fics of the year. This is the canon verse AU that went all wrong in s7, and Sendak succeeds in destroying Earth. Lance and Pidge end up not only his prisoners, but also two of the last humans in the universe. Ends open ended, but it became a series in the end!

Into Me (14248 words)

The sequel to the above fic. There are two versions, this and the one below. The title tells all. Lance and Pidge come to terms with their new life aboard Sendak’s flagship and do their best to keep the other comforted.

Into Me (non-explicit version) (7228 words)

Exactly the same as the fic above, only this one is SFW

Sunshine (3831 words)

A Bad Things Happen Bingo! One of my favorite concepts. Canon verse. Pidge gets sick while she and Lance are on a scientific mission. 

Showoff (635 words)

A really short fic for a friend on their birthday, featuring their plance kids!

Respite of the Heart (4181 words)

A fic I have been wanting to write for a very long time. I love the concept of Pidge as a Disney Princess in the sense she has the forest guardian theme and all these animals love her. So there’s some play on that as the Paladins stop for lunch on their journey back to Earth in early s7. Lance comes to a realization and they have a chat surrounded by the animal friends. @anchoredtetherart did a phenomenal piece to accompany it. Please look at it in awe here.

The Hardest Part (3960 words)

For Bad Things Happen Bingo! An AU of the episode The Reunion where Pidge doesn’t return when she’s supposed to. 

A Planned Sacrifice (4988 words)

Another Bad Things Happen Bingo. Canon verse. Pidge assumes that being a sacrifice for the ‘forest god’ is strictly ceremonial and at worst a wild animal. It’s actually Sendak, who no one has seen since Shiro shot him out of the Castle. He remembers Pidge and is far too pleased to see her again, tied up on a silver platter. 

Almost Forgotten, but Not Gone (3946 words)

Bad Things Happen Bingo. AU sometime in s1 where Haxus isn’t as dead as Pidge thought. 

Touch (7519 words)

Written for the Lance Goes Boom bang! It was inspired by @fenixseraph ‘s amazing art here! It’s a different take on The Way Forward, where Pidge and Lance are separated from the rest of the team and placed in their own cell. And the Red Lion causes issues. 

Chaptered Fics started/added to:

Wolf In Thieves’ Clothing (4516 words)

An AU of The Castle of Cagliostro from Lupin the Third series. Lee, you have my thanks forever for making me watch this finally. Pidge is a literal princess whose kingdom is in the middle of an internal coup. Lance is a gentleman thief who rides with his best buds Hunk and Matt. Their paths are destined to cross again when Lance goes back to the castle he used to call home. 

Game of Love (4593 words)

The most crack of the bunch. AU of Fall the of the Castle of Lions where Sendak and Haxus get away with it all. Pidge and Lance are prisoners on Haxus’ new ship, and Lance finds an opportunity for eventual escape when he learns that Haxus has a crush on his second in command. Operation matchmaker begins. (happy ending planned for all)

What Tides May Bring (20704 words)

Collab with the fantastic @anchoredtetherart for MerMay! Established plance as mermaids and guardians of their elements with adorable mer child. Then angst because they are all captured by a ‘research’ institute. 

Seasons of Magic (16546 words)

I actually added a chapter this year! Ongoing collection of one-shots with mage Pidge who lives in the country and cultivates her plant magic and makes potions with the assistance of her dragon familiar, Lance. Mostly domestic fluff. 

Too Soon and Not Soon Enough (11438 words)

Added another chapter this year to my Keith-centric AU. It’s basically VLD but five years early and they’re all literally child Paladins. Keith gets to meet Krolia earlier and its fun to go into tween friendships as they try and navigate the reality of their situation. 

Seeds (48833 words)

Added a ton earlier this year. A collection of plance fics all or mostly under 500 words. All meant to be adopted by others if interest strikes. Covers many genres.

Chaptered Fics Finished:

Resolve to Fly (75799 words)

Written for the Pidge Angst Bang. My artist @alchemie0 did an outstanding job capturing the feel of the fic. Look at the art here! Canon verse AU where Pidge encounters Haxus, who has crashed on Earth. She helps him repair his ship in excitement and good faith, which he pays back by kidnapping her. For two years she survives as little more than a housepet on Sendak’s ship. Gen.

Who's Protecting Who? (28989 words)

Also technically not written this yeah, but posted. A collab with Hush waaaay back in 2018. It's a plance Altean AU with Pidge as distant royalty and Lance as a bodyguard.

A Dish Served Cold (21533 words)

Finally finished this one! Canon verse in which Pidge accidentally runs into Sendak on an isolated planet. Sendak takes advantage of this encounter and tries to return to the Empire with her in tow. Much Pidge whump. Gen

Reflections: 

Best title 

I still really really love Too Soon and Not Soon Enough (11438 words). Because it's too soon for the Paladins to be Paladins, and for Keith it's not nearly soon enough for Krolia to return. It just feels like it has a lot of heart to it. I hope I can keep it going, but my ideas are incredibly scattered for it. 

Worst title 

Touch (7519 words). Yeah it’s a play on ‘Don’t you touch her’ but it feels soooo dry. 

Best/worst last line

Best: This was really, really hard choice this year, but ultimately, making up for the terrible title, its Touch (7519 words) 

“It feels good to escape the ship with all of his teammates, secure in the knowledge that he has a way forward not just as a Paladin, but also with Pidge.” 

- Not only did I manage to fit the title of the episode in there, it's got that hopeful tinge to it and reflects on personal growth both internally and with Pidge. 

Worst: This one isn’t necessarily bad from Begin Again (Together) (4805 words), but it could be better. It didn’t get quite the epic sense I was hoping to pull from it.

“Okay,” he smirks, hand firmly on the throttle. “Operation save Earth starts now.”

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted?

Definitely wrote way more. Even with posting two fic that are essentially the exact same, I still ended up writing nearly half of my total Ao3 word count this year. (330,000/670,000). Doing Bad Things Happen Bingo was a bit part of that - I was very inspired at the beginning of this year - but also there were many events I participated in (8 total!!) on top of my personal projects. 

What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.

A really hard decision this year, because there are several that make me really happy. I think oddly enough though, it’s Game of Love (4593 words) because of its potential and how much crack it is. It has such whacky rom-com energy to it but also that underlying angst of the situation I can fall back on. My favorite trope to explore is what happens to the characters when they’re captured. I just really enjoy the concept and the challenge to make such a concept believable with minimal suspension of belief. 

Okay, NOW your most popular story.

Using kudos as my gauge (and not counting the chapter fics), the winner is: 

Respite of the Heart (4181 words)

Not surprising because Ivy’s art is STUNNING.

Story most underappreciated by the universe?

I think that’s It Tasted Good (6785 words), the pikelavar fic. Pikelavar is underappreciated in general

Story that could have been better?

For all I was excited to write Sunshine (3831 words), it didn’t quite fall the way I had imagined in my mind. I don’t know if it was the structure or I was running out of steam or what. All i know is that I wanted more but all I could concentrate on was that scene where he’s caring for her in bed. Maybe I was just too ambitious.

Sexiest story?

No brainer it's Into Me (14248 words). Literally. Which really shocked me that it happened. Didn’t think I’d write any smut at all, let alone this year. This particular fic just kinda called out for it 

Saddest story?

The prequel to the above fic: Next to Me (7311 words). How much more sad can you get than Earth being destroyed, being Sendak’s prisoners all while trying to tell each other ‘i love you’ without seeming weird because you’re the last humans in the universe. 

Most fun?

I think it's Ready to Dance (4135 words). Just Valentine’s fluff and impromptu slow dancing in the park at night. 

Story with single sweetest moment?

I’m picking What Tides May Bring (20704 words). Listen, mer Lance and mer Pidge playing with their mer baby in their domestic paradise is probably one of my favorite things I’ve ever written. Dad Lance has my heart. 

Hardest story to write?

The last chapter of A Dish Served Cold (21533 words) was like pulling teeth. I’m pretty happy with it in the end but at the time man it was so hard. 

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

I wrote smut. It was...weird? But also strangely calming. I wrote more for another fic but it's still a WIP. I definitely need to be in the mood to write it. 

Proudest Achievement:

The Pidge Angst Bang. Resolve to Fly (75799 words). Look at that word count. I only wanted something under 3k at first, so it was just going to be Pidge meeting Haxus. But by the time I finished that part it was already 10k. So even though I was going through a rough part of my life, I just kept going and it ended up being my therapy. I’m really proud of the fic and I love my artists’ pieces. It really lifted my spirits. (You should all really go check out the Ao3 collection of all the bang stories and art they are AMAZING you won’t regret. If you love Pidge angst they are all must reads.)

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

I’d like to finish my Bad Things Happen Bingo card and then focus on my current WIP, that includes the Seeds collection. There are days I still feel a bit overwhelmed, and I’m still trying to find a routine after moving. I’d like to do more events too, but I think I need to be more selective about which ones I do. I don’t want to burn myself out. 

Apart from that, I’d really like to try and give back to the community more. I’d like to start consciously writing fics for others without an event to go by. 

Past Years:

2017

2018

2019

[mutedsilence]

I decided to create a post with links to all my work. They include summaries and the tag list. It’s under the split. I’ll update as I write more. 

Or, here’s a link to my dashboard MutedSilence 

The Towel  Johnlock Domestic Fluff Domestic Pride Gay Sherlock Holmes Bisexual John Watson Towels Flags Words: 2,002 Chapters: 1/1

Summary: John and Sherlock have been living together for just about a year in this. Sherlock is given a towel from Mycroft for his birthday.

Ianto Sings Janto Dancing and Singing Singing Fluff Domestic Fluff Tooth-Rotting Fluff Words: 844 Chapters: 1/1

Summary: Ianto is alone in the hub. He decides to start singing, he doesn't know he's not alone. 

Soldier and his Detective Series Johnlock Mystrade New Meeting Fluff AU Kissing papa lestrade Worry Sherlock is a Brat Established Mystrade Protectiveness Protective Sibling Rivalry Texting Mycroft is really protective but a bit of a dick too Feelings almost break up First Dates John Watson in Afghanistan Homophobic Language Phone Calls email BAMF John Background Case Mycroft Being a Good Brother Sherlock Holmes Has Feelings Jealousy Words:45,738 Works:3 Complete:Yes

Summary: Sherlock is on a case. Just as he's about to be taken down by the suspect, a stranger takes down the suspect and Sherlock begins to fall for the blond stranger. (This is a story set in with a different meeting, John is on leave from the army and Sherlock has started his career with the met.)

Trying to Forget Ianto Janto The 456 Aftermath Grief/Mourning Drinking Jack Needs a Hug Hurt Jack  Words: 438 Chapters: 1/1

Summary: So, in the doctor who episode - End of Time part 2 - the Doctor tips off Jack to Alonso. It takes place in a bar and I decided to carry it on.

Mission to Flirt Johnlock Pining John Fluff Angst with a Happy Ending Slow Burn Flirting Jealous Sherlock Oblivious John Mutual Pining First Kiss Hospitals Background Case Greg Lestrade & John Watson Friendship Sherlock Holmes Loves John Watson John Watson Loves Sherlock Holmes Bisexual John Watson Gay Sherlock Holmes Proud Greg Lestrade Words: 9,064 Chapters: 1/1

Summary: Turns out John has been staring at Sherlock like a love sick teen. Greg decides that John just needs to flirt. So, he does. Sort of. He certainly tried to at least.

Fine. I admit, I love him. Johnlock Pining Texting Mycroft's Meddling Pining Sherlock Holmes AU Fluff References to Oscar Wilde Language of Flowers Background Case Distracted Sherlock Holmes Mycroft Being a Good Brother No Reichenbach Secret Admirer Sherlock Holmes Loves John Watson Oblivious John Words: 9,237 Chapters: 14/14

Summary: Mycroft has had enough of Sherlock's pining and decides to make him do something about it. Starting with Sherlock figuring out his feelings for John. ((Set before the Reichenbach fall))

Christmas at Holmes Manor Johnlock Mystrade Christmas Party Developing Johnlock AU Different First Meeting Mentions of drugs Depressed John Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism John has been discharged Developing Relationship First Kiss Developing Mystrade Mycroft is good with Children Words: 4,838 Chapters: 6/6 Collections: 1

Summary: Mummy is known for her Christmas parties at Holmes Manor. Sherlock hates the parties and tries to avoid them. This year he can't get out of it. He hates every second. But will he hate it after meeting an army captain?

Hannibal Montannibal Alternate Universe - Hannah Montana Fusion Pure and utter crack beggar's clay chicken inspired by a shitpost Will is a fanboy Hannibal in a dress and wig?? just go with it Ambiguous/Open Ending Words: 613 Chapters: 1/1

Summary: Hannah Montana/Hannibal fusion. No one knows that Hannibal is Montannibal, that is until he invites Will Graham for dinner.

The Soul Patch IronStrange Soulmate AU Tumblr Prompt Heart Attacks First Kiss CPR Post-Doctor Strange (2016) Stephen saves Tony it's a little cheesy Words: 1,411 Chapters: 1/1

Summary: Soulmate AU: Everyone is born with a black section of skin where their soulmate touches them skin-on-skin for the first time. When this happens, the mark changes to said soulmate’s eye color. Tony Stark and Stephen Strange both hate it because they’ve had to live with the stigma of having black lips all their lives. Tony goes into cardiac arrest at a gala, and Stephen ends up giving him CPR.The prompt I based this off. Set after the events of Doctor Strange (2016)

Who is Victor Trevor? Johnlock Teenlock Unilock Jealous John POV Sherlock Holmes victor is made up practice date First Dates Sherlock Holmes and John Watson Being Idiots Words: 3,256 Chapters: 1/1

Sherlock is in love with his best friend, John Watson. When confronted, Sherlock makes up Victor Trevor - a person that Sherlock wants to ask on a date. John offers to help by taking Sherlock on a practice date. The one thing Sherlock wants more than anything.

I Feel Like I Don’t Even Know Him! Johnlock Fake/Pretend Relationship Developing Relationship and Friendships Implied/Referenced Suicide AU Different First Meeting couples counselling It's For a Case Parental Greg Lestrade Protective Mycroft Holmes Slow Burn idiots to lovers Implied/Referenced Drug Use Miscommunication Eventual Happy Ending Did I Mention They Were Idiots? It's Sad Seriously It's Sad You Have Been Warned  Words: 26,108 Chapters: 25/25

Summary: John is leaving therapy. Sherlock needs to get into the office of a couples counselor. A frantic Sherlock bumps into John as he's making his way out. John - with nothing better to do - agrees to pretend to be a stranger's boyfriend for the afternoon. Beats going home.

Let Me Share Your Pain IronStrange Hurt Stephen Strange Hurt Tony Stark Protective Stephen Strange Friends to Lovers Arguing First Kiss Hurt/Comfort Words: 3957 Chapter 1/1

Tony begins to feel stronger and better than ever. He doesn’t question it, not when his movements are quicker and his mind is sharper. His anxieties and pain appear to have diminished altogether. And the next time he’s facing a villain he finds there’s barely a scratch on him. Funnily enough Doctor Strange looks ten times worse himself after battles lately, even in ones he hardly has a hand in. Tony slowly discovers that Stephen cast a spell to absorb all of Tony’s injuries as his own.

I'll Tell You Until You Believe Me IronStrange Jealous Tony Stark Pining Pining Tony Stark Oblivious Stephen Strange First Kiss Love Confessions Insecurity Insecure Stephen Strange author projecting their insecurities onto the character check Words: 2231 Chapter 1/1

Stephen is quite popular, what with his status as sorcerer supreme, good looks and compassion. Stephen is oblivious to it all, chalking it up as just weird alien customs. One day, an interdimensional being aids Stephen and Tony in battle, flirting with Stephen the whole time. Tony feels protective of Stephen but lets it go for now (pre-relationship, Tony’s kinda jealous yes). Only this keeps happening and it builds up, Tony can’t take anymore and confronts Stephen about why he never shoots down nor reciprocates the advances of the inter-dimensional beings. Light angst where Stephen accidentally reveals that his obliviousness stems from his insecurities. He thinks Tony is pulling his leg. 

Eastern Seaboard Ironstrange Established Relationship Bottom Tony Stark Established Tony/Stephen Is this crack?? Humour Tony's nicknames for the team Words: 717 Chapter 1/1

The only time Tony sees a hint of Stephen’s full power, without his moral limitations, is when they make love and Stephen’s magic accidentally causes an earthquake that knocks out the power of the whole eastern seaboard. Tony decides it's an achievement worthy of a nickname.

Super Fucking Long Sherlock Fic, Stop Being a Bitch and Finish It. Johnlock Slow Burn really really slow Angst Smut Fluff Eventual Sherlock Holmes/John Watson Unrequited Love mutual unrequited love Mutual Pining Violence Murder Case Fic Homophobia Homophobic Language POV Sherlock Holmes Idiots in Love they're really stupid and can't see past their noses but we love them Masturbation Oblivious Hate Crimes Hate Speech Hurt/Comfort Copping Off Coming Out Greg Lestrade & John Watson Friendship Sherlock Whump Words: 31,275 Chapter 48/? 

Sherlock is bored out of his mind - luckily Lestrade has a string of murders. Even luckier - Sherlock and John have to go undercover in a gay bar, and John's in tight clothes. But what if going back into that scene reminds Sherlock of his uni days? And what if he reverts back to shameless pleasure behind clubs? What if John never returns his affections? A series of life-threatening problems could both bring them together, and drive them apart.

Our Journal Mystrade Developing Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade Lestrade Can Draw switching POV Slow Burn Fluff mystrade Mystrade is art Mycroft is a Softie Even if just in his head Words: 3,798 Chapter 6/?

When the sketch artist is off, Greg is asked to step in. Like any artist - he thinks he's no good and hates his work. Mycroft just so happens to be around to lend some paper. After becoming enraptured in Greg's drawing, Mycroft's once-dormant feelings begin to fester again.

[theangrycomet]

“Well that, would be telling.”              - Kenny Blonko Tennyson

Prebirth: Wasn’t planned

Pregnancy went fine until her water broke 2 months early.

I head canon that the Revonnahgander birthing process is an EXCLUSIVELY female event where the expecting father’s mostly have to stay outside and get twitchy with worry. Their labor process is also on average 2 hours.

Ben was with Gwen dealing with Plumber business literally on the other side of the galaxy at the point when the ingeractic comm lines were fritzing

Rook was there for the first 8 hours

He said it was because the Plumber’s needed him to do some check ups on the Earth Plumber HQ

Ben just asked if he could keep an eye on his girls

Had a bad feeling if you will

Note* Rook didn’t know what he’d signed himself up for when he just stopped by

That was one of the most harrowing things he’d ever witness a human female do

The hospitals were also being a pain as to who got to be the ones to treat Ben 10,000’s wife until Dr. Priyanka Maheswaran saw what was going on, yelled at them for being idiots and got her where she needed to go

Her residents were surprised to say the least

“Dr. Kincaid, Dr. Vincent, come with me to the maternity ward”

Ben got there eventually, but only after she had dislocated Rook’s wrist

(writing this down I note I make her a wee violent during labor)

Rook was relieved of watching Kai while Gwennie accompanied him to get his wrist treated by one of the Residents.

Kenny was a weak baby, had to be monitored for about a month. Couldn’t go home for another week after that

After that ordeal of course his middle name would be Blonko.

Birthday October 6

Doesn’t have the spark

colorblind, specifically Deuteranomaly

It wasn’t discovered until he commented how its weird that Revonnahgander’s see brown as red

They see color very closely to humans, so Kenny ended up in a 4 hour argument with his Dad and Uncle Blonko on this until finally RB (Rook Ben) pulled up some tests for Kenny to take

He has glasses for them, but he never wears them

prefers the contacts

Smart

Able to unlock master control within 48 hours of receiving it

Eidetic memory so he doesn’t have to study as hard as say his sister

His mom makes sure he still does though

“School first, Heroing later.”

Straight A student

Can and will get on a soap box about whitewashed history

its the classes highlight

has started four major food fights to date

He still manages to forget to grab things when he leaves the house on his hover-board

Has trained Rocky to retrieve things for him

Cross-Dominant but pretends to be left handed

Culture geek like his mom

Loves to learn about the planets of his aliens

Will randomly pop up with some fun fact whenever possible

Actually, just a geek geek

Anime, sci-fi,

But still athletic

Top forward on his Soccer team

Took figure skating classes when he was little but will never admit it

Despite being popular at school, he didn’t really have any close friends before Devlin

Lost a lot of fairweather friends left once his Omnitrix was gone

Aside from Devlin, only one other person that wasn’t really his family still hung out with him

Will expand later

Mischief maker, mostly from boredom at school

They can never catch him though, especially since he’s gotten the omnitrix

Always has an excuse

Would MUCH rather come up with excuses from himself instead of facing the consequences of his own actions

He gets over this eventually

Doesn’t like Kevin. Like, at all.

Isn’t scared of him

Always passive aggressive with him

Despite this, he’s a lot more sympathetic than you’d expect from a Tennyson

As much as he loves his dad, he’s a mama’s boy

It’s easier to talk to her

Plus it’s easier to spend time with her, even with all her archeology digs and bleeding heart projects

Actually part of why he wanted to do hero work so badly was so he could spend more time with his dad

Hence when he was stripped of his Omnitrix, he so badly wanted to prove he could be a hero without it

And why he agreed to be Chrono Spanner

Uncle Blonko is his confidant about stuff he can’t talk to about his fam with

This actually bother Ben a lot when he finds out

the “Why does my kid feel more comfortable talking to you than to me?” sort of feel

CAN’T STAND IF PEOPLE INTERFERE WITH HIS WORK

whether it’s super-heroing or a school project, nothing will tick him off like you taking charge of a project you’re supposed to be working on TOGETHER or worse, a personal project of HIS OWN

Leads him to difficulties asking for help and bad attitude to receiving it,

Regarding the Omnitrix

While he was able to unlock master control very early on, he still only had his initial 10 aliens that were accessible to him

This resulted in him learning to use his aliens more strategically than Ben

He didn’t figure out he could scan aliens’ DNA to access those forms until he was 11 and a half

As soon as Ben’s back was turned, asked Devlin if he could shift into his Eleven form and scanned the original 10 aliens in

Ben was displeased

Since he didn’t take it off until he was 14, it grew up with him

It was very upset to be removed, and when it was given back to him, it got a little clingy and integrated into his left arm

Think some of the Ben 10K concept art

Ben was once again displeased

His Top 5 Favorite Aliens:

XLR8

Grey Matter

Ditto

Knight Blue [Revonnahgander]

Big Chill

Regarding Chrono-Spanner

Whatever he did to get grounded seemed to really piss off Ben, where as Kai seemed more neutral

Professor Paradox approached him with the offer a few hours after the Blow Out

The suit

Proto-Armor from a few decades forward

The Blasters on his arms have different settings from stun to kill to obliterate

“Set your phasers to Stun, Ken.”

“I don’t think you comprehend how many points you earned with me from a single sentence.”

That’s it

The Agility and Strength is all his own

Trained under the Hue Troop for a bit, especially Yellow Technique and Black Strategy

The scarf is actually from Gwennie

He was very disillusioned about his father during his time as Spanner and has an even greater appreciation for Rook’s patience

After the Time War, he still helps Paradox as needed

Preferences

Favorite Disney Movie: Mulan

Favorite Color: Green duh

Pansexual disaster

[vanaera]

Love at First Snow (jhs)

Synopsis | It is during the first snow Hoseok first meets Y/N. It is also during the first snow he prepares to put a ring on her. Little does he know, fate has other plans. (OR: As Hoseok relishes in the spirit of the Holiday season, he cannot help but also reminisce how you two, though entire polar opposites of each other, ended up together. Characters | dance major (and “academically-challenged”)!Hoseok x Genius!female reader (College AU) Prompt | “You know, you remind me a lot of the Grinch. The only difference is in the end, his heart grows three sizes, but you stay an asshole.” Genre | Fluff, Humor, Angst Wordcount | 16.9k (I’m sorry, this ended up longer than I intended) Warnings | Discussions of verbal abuse from toxic families and mentions of panic attacks A/N | Hi Cristine! It is I, snowflake, your secret santa! This is my gift for @bts-poetry for @bangtanarmynet, and @btsbookclub ‘s Secret Santa 2019 event! I combined this gift with the prompt I claimed in @kwritersworld’s 2019 Christmas Event as my inspirations for both events have merged into one story hehe.

              Everyone has some titles to live by. “Well-versed lawyer,” “patient teacher,” “single mother,” “broke student”—one-liner characteristics and descriptions enough for people to summarize the entirety of one another. From each other’s greatest achievements to their itty bitty mistakes, any of them can be used to replace an identifier. After all, people always see what they want to see. It all depends on what title sticks out the most to the majority around them.  For Jung Hoseok, he lives up to the title of a lovable boyfriend and a rare one, too. As whenever people look at him, the first thing they see is the aberrance of how he ended up….dating Y/N.

              There’s nothing wrong with him, or Y/N for that matter. It’s just…they are the most impossible couple to end up together as they are the most literal polar opposites of each other.

             People remember Jung Hoseok as the golden dance major of the prestigious South Tigers University. He got into the Performing Arts program, Major in Dance by acing the laborious dance audition despite his unimpressive results in the written exam. Hoseok’s colorful background from his long-term dance crew, Hope World, and his countless wins in different hip hop dance competitions were more than enough proof to know he is indeed one of the top dancers of the university. With a body capable of executing each move ever known to humankind with such grace and precision, Jung Hoseok also has a stage presence that warrants everyone’s unbridled attention. Thus, it is without question he is the prided Most Valuable Dancer of his university’s varsity dance crew, Synergy. The long line-up of trophies Synergy has placed in STU’s hall of glory, all thanks to the competitions Hoseok led, are enough to say Hoseok is literally the modern-day Apollo.

             However, it is not just his talent or insanely god-like face and physique that makes Hoseok so “golden.” Because as if Apollo wasn’t enough, Hoseok also impersonated Helios. Jung, Hoseok is warm and kind and funny. He easily makes everyone want to be his bestfriend the moment they met him. Most people often speak of him first thing in the morning with another wonderful feat he pulled off. Hoseok is great in the things he does — playing as the great wingman for people who need the extra push in their romances or becoming the occasional teacher’s pet who goes to the professor and (easily) successfully convinces them to give the class a deadline extension for a requirement. Hoseok turns up every campus party into the happiest event anyone could ever be in and he is such an amazing, sincere friend who remembers everyone’s birthday and gives out the nicest of hugs. Hell, Hoseok even volunteers in long-inactive “dead” college organizations like the Campus Drunk Patrol, Environment Protection Squad, and Animal Welfare Group in his free time. Hoseok is the literal sun and anyone who knows him — which is literally, everyone — will never be unable to deny otherwise.

             So when Hoseok expressed romantic interest in Y/N in sophomore year, everyone around him was beyond bewildered. Most especially, his friends.

             “Y/N?” Jimin sputters, “as in…The Y/N, L/N from our batch?”

             “Well, yeah-”

             “Like the Analytical Physics major Y/N L/N?” Taehyung gapes.

             “Yeah, I mean,” Hoseok sends them a questioning look, “is there any other Y/N L/N?”

             Taehyung scratches his head. “Well, no…I just thought there’s a Y/N in another batch?”

             Hoseok gives him a pointed look, unamused.

             But Taehyung’s true sentiment is voiced out when Jimin half-screams at their table, “Why her?!”

             “Well, why not her?” Hoseok half-smiles, picking on the fries that were dropped scattered onto the table after Jimin unceremoniously pounded his fist on the surface in an act of over-exaggeration.

             Taehyung sends Hoseok a disgusted look but continues his friend’s argument, “Dude, she’s like, the entire opposite of you.”

             “And that is an understatement.” Jimin points a fry toward his direction, glaring at Hoseok.

             Hoseok huffs, “Oh c'mon, you’re all just going overboard. What happened to the golden rule ‘don’t judge a book by its cover?’”

             “First of all, Y/N’s not a book,” Jimin scoffs. “She’s like, the whole fucking library of science textbooks. Last sem, we’re busy doing a group project when Y/N suddenly spewed some SOHCAHTOA shit about the Bermuda Triangle. As if the things she said are already a whole level of weird, she even said them in a manner like Liam Neeson’s ‘I don’t know who you are but I’m going to kill you’ monologue from Taken. And second of all, the golden rule is ‘do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you,’ dumbass.”

             “Okay I got the golden rule wrong,” Hoseok groans, “but nevertheless, you’re still violating it by judging Y/N.”

             “In our defense tho,” Taehyung mumbles over the straw of his milkshake, “Y/N judged us first. I was watching Orange one time in the library and she came over and took a seat with me. And then she said some alien gibberish about how Naho Takamiya always fall stupidly on the stairs because she said, by verbatim, ‘according to basic logic and common sense, that’s not how projectiles work,’” Taehyung clicks his tongue and Jimin cringes. Taehyung continues, “Y/N said Naho wouldn’t fly to the hallway when she tripped on the actual steps. She even actually drew a diagram with computations of Naho’s fall and gave it to me before she abruptly got up and go. God, I’ve never felt so stupid and insulted both at the same time.”

             “And,” Jimin adds, “last December, I shared a meme on Facebook about turning on your brain instead of your heart this coming 2017 and guess what she did? She commented below “guess, you’ll just die of heart failure before 2017 even comes.” Jimin rolls his eyes, “She made me feel dumb as if I don’t know how heart failure works. So us judging her back is just fair and square.”

             “But you don’t actually know how heart failure works,” Hoseok retorts. He glares at Taehyung, “And dude, to be honest, Orange is overrated and Naho really flies whenever she trips, or gets tripped, on the stairs.” Hoseok throws up his hands in annoyance. “Seriously, are you two judging her for just…I don’t know, being smart?!”

             Taehyung sighs. “Okay, that’s a bit true, but the thing is, Hobi, our IQ levels are already a bit higher than yours—”

             “What’s that got to do with this?!”

             “—And if Y/N’s already treating us like the biggest idiots of the world,” Jimin continues Taehyung’s words, “then what chance do you have in having a decent conversation with her? Much less a more fruitful one that could end up in a romantic relationship? There’s like a 99.9 percent sure-ness she will make you more of an idiot than us!”

             “Yeah,” Taehyung nods. “Her thoughts are composed of quadratic formulas and science shit like ‘the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.’ While I’m not even sure you know what DNA stands for.”

             Hoseok gawks, “Of course I know what DNA stands for!”

             “Then say it,” Jimin cocks a brow.

             “Dual Nucleus Association—fuck, why am I even doing this—” Hoseok glares at his friends, “What do you take me for? An imbecile?”

             “Well, yeah,” Taehyung says honestly.

             “That’s why right now, we’re telling you to drop anything you’re feeling in that,” Jimin points to Hoseok’s chest, “for Y/N. Hell, how will you even click together? Y/N’s allergic to nonsense and emojis and your daily vocabulary is entirely nonsense and eggplant emojis.”

             Hoseok opens his mouth to argue he also knows about the clown emoji but before he can utter a word, Taehyung beats him to it.

             “Dude, we’re not telling you this to insult you.” Jimin snorts and Taehyung closes his eyes before he looks again at Hoseok’s eyes, “Okay, maybe we’re enjoying teasing you a little too much. But we can say this is just payback for you not letting us go home earlier yesterday because you said we ‘need improvement’ which I damn well think not, bitch.” Hoseok squirms and Taehyung claps his shoulder hard, making him wince. “Anyway, what we’re trying to say, Hoseok, is we just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

             “How will I get hurt?! Nothing’s happened yet. I’m just saying I like Y/N—”

             “That’s what we’re worried about, Hoseok,” Jimin cuts him. “Nothing’s happened yet but we know something already did.”

            “Like what?”

            “You like Y/N. That’s the problem,” Jimin deadpans. “Hoseok we know you like to take relationships seriously. We even know that when you set your heart on a girl, your imagination is already two steps ahead, playing your wedding in your head.”

            Hoseok gulps, a guilty sweat forming on his temple.

            “But you see, Y/N belongs to that type of people who have their what-will-you-be-in-10-years solidly planted in their heads. And it’s highly probable a relationship, much less a wedding, is written in those 10-year plans. Much more, art majors like us are stigmatized to bound for failure because society is still close-minded and deems art won’t feed us. And by the meaning of society, it’s the ‘almighty and noble’ science folks Y/N belongs to. For God’s sake, there’s a lot of movies that have already forecasted science and art don’t mix!” 

            “Well, I don’t remember any movies—”

            Taehyung looks at Hoseok, incredulous. “Dude, there’s like The Theory of Everything—”

             “That’s science and faith!”

            “Stephen Hawking’s ex-wife sang in a choir. And she also started writing after their divorce! So that’s still art!”

            Hoseok was about to retaliate when he feels Jimin clasp a firm hand on his shoulder. He looks at him. Jimin sighs, “Hoseok, we just want you to not regret your decisions in the end. Y/N belongs to those snobbish high-hat people who treat everyone below them like dirt. There’s plenty of other girls out there who are much nicer than Y/N. Nice just like you. For one, why don’t you try giving a chance to the girls who’ve been crushing on you since freshman year? I know a few and they’re actually sweet. Just anyone who’s not Y/N. Seriously, just trust us on this, Hobi.”

             Except Hoseok does not. If there is one characteristic to describe Hoseok other than nice and talented, that would be his hard-headedness. He didn’t listen to his parents when they tried to discourage him from taking dance as his major. Hoseok disregarded numerous peers’ suggestions to join a frat so he can “shine more.” He even disregarded the toxic masculinity fraternities promoted by rocking pink overalls with his sparkly ugly sneakers and multicolored acorn pouch (which Jimin told him was the bane of the entire fashion industry) at least once a week. He even changes it up with other colorful ensembles the fashion students make. Hoseok did not even listen to Taehyung when the former told him not to drink before taking their finals in World History because, "no Hoseok, the alcohol does NOT bring back memories.”

             And look where his stubbornness got him. Hoseok became one of the greatest dancers his university has ever handled. His sole talent is enough for him to get invited to teach classes in several prestigious art colleges in the country. Hoseok gained more fulfilling and growth-inspiring friendships than surface-level ones offered by frats. He enjoyed more substantial conversations than booze temptation and toxic, trivial fights over games and girls. Hoseok even accidentally created a modeling career with local brands after his viral modeling of a peach acorn-inspired outfit for the project of his fashion major friends. Although him disregarding Taehyung’s reminders was a big mistake as he totally flunked World History, that night actually made Hoseok learn his lesson not to drink before the finals (and also because he learned the alcohol does not bring back memories he actually needed for the exam. But memories of his most embarrassing moments — like the one where he ended up performing in a children’s party as a fairy godmother—complete with the rainbow gown, fairy wings, plastic crown, and wand—because he mixed up the location of the college’s Halloween party with his friend’s family get-together).

             So, why would Hoseok listen to Jimin and Taehyung when setting his eyes and heart for Y/N feels like the most right decision he has ever made in his life? Especially when Y/N’s nowhere the high-hat snobbiety concept Jimin put her in. Hoseok is sure about this because he started to see and know her more than anyone else could after the fateful night of the Science Majors’ last year’s Christmas party.

             “Is that Y/N?” Hoseok squints his eyes. The person walking towards him is clad in a black coat and indigo satin slip-dress that falls short on her mid-thigh. Her hair is a mess and her small glittery satchel is slipping off her shoulders even if she adjusted it again and again. Not to say she’s also limping on her two-inch silver heels. When the girl raises her head and sees him, her face falls into an annoyed scowl. Hoseok right then confirms it is aberrantly, and shockingly, Y/N. At the sight of recognition in his face, Y/N immediately runs away in the opposite direction. Hoseok finds himself already chasing after her before his mind could acknowledge that he is actually running after the campus’ excruciating goody-two-shoes in the ass'o clock of the night.

             Hoseok easily catches up to Y/N. He blocks her way, causing her to halt. Hoseok hunches as he breathlessly puffs, “Hey Y/N, why you so fast?”

             “No-none of your business Jung Hoseok,” Y/N turns away from him and crosses her arms. Hoseok almost smiles. It is amusing how she effortlessly pulls her usual “intimidator stance” even in such a weird scenario.

             “Well, it is my business if you’re wandering on campus grounds in the night and obviously not sober.”

             Y/N whips her head towards him, “I am sober. What are you even here for?”

             “According to my eyes, you’re clearly drunk. Look,” Hoseok points to her face, “you look red all over and you can’t even look at me straight.” 

            Y/N slaps his hand away. 

            Hoseok puts his hands back in his pockets, “You’re clearly doing some beautiful eyes challenge right now.” 

            Y/N cringes at him but Hoseok continues, “And for your second question, I’m patrolling for the Campus Drunk Patrol.” He smiles and points to the logo on his jacket.

             Y/N leans forward and squints at the logo. Seeing her raised brow, Hoseok explains, “We aim to help drunk students sober up before commuting home. We can also escort them to their dorm facades and notify their RAs to come and get them.”

             Y/N still has her brow raised, skeptical. Hoseok sighs, “Well, it’s a dead org so I understand why you don’t believe me. If I also learn some org that’s been inactive for five years has suddenly gone active, I will be skeptical, too. But trust me on this, okay? I’ll just walk you around until you’re sober enough to know how to go home. I heard you’re dorming here. I can help you get to your dorm if you want.”

             Y/N still looks unconvinced and Hoseok releases a sigh again. He juts his thumb and points to his back, “We have our Patrol Marshal stationed there by the campus gates. He can totes see us here and tell you’re one of the stubborn drunk students who refuse to cooperate with our protocol.” 

            Hoseok smugly puts his weight on his left foot.“You can refuse and go ahead. But because the marshal doesn’t let drunk people he already caught go home, he will notify the head RA and trust me when I tell you I’ve seen a lot of students end up in bigger trouble for not complying with our joint protocol with the RA Council. Or,” Hoseok smiles, “you could just make our lives easier by letting me help you sober up.”

             Y/N looks away, gnawing on her lip. When Hoseok hears a faint “fine” come from her, he has to keep his jaw from hanging open.

             Because, why wouldn’t he be flabbergasted?

             Y/N L/N, the fearsome Analytical Physics major, is not the sweetest star out there. With a resting bitch face, innateness to give cold replies, gift of the perpetual judging stare, and insensitivity to joke cues, Y/N is one of the hardest people to cooperate with. It is not entirely because she does not put in any effort. No one just found it easy, or tolerable even, to interact with her. Sure, Y/N’s smart, a genius in Hoseok’s eyes. However, what stuck to everyone’s memory is how she unconsciously belittles everyone around her. Y/N gives out unnecessary run-throughs of chemistry concepts about any movie or animation brought up in a conversation. She instantly goes grammar-nazzi on anyone who slips on the rules of English grammar, especially when people make errors concerning the Oxford comma in their papers. She even goes out of her way to explain to her fellow students the physics of how and why they drove or parked badly with their bike or scooter.

             But the pinnacle of Y/N’s negative reputation has to be her merciless removal of her senior’s name, Oh Sehun, from the case study required in Communication Media Theories. In her very first year in university, at that. Although her action is justified as Sehun did not contribute anything at all in the group project, this name removal caused outrage among every college student. Sehun, who is actually the college’s renowned quarterback, graduated late and was now behind of his original team who already got into the professionals. All because of Y/N. Hence, the people in the university have started to associate her name with the title “stuck-up-iest bitch to ever walk on Earth.” Some don’t even seem to remember her name. All everyone knew is that Y/N’s one hell of a condescending bitch.

             So having Y/N walk silently by his side, cooperating for the first time without reciting her rights based on the constitution with such accuracy in verbatim while passively and implicitly insulting him, Hoseok cannot help to be so shocked.

             Noticing the complete silence that has surrounded them two, Hoseok breaks from his trance and leads Y/N to the college’s cafe. It’s already closed, given the lateness of the night, but it has their outdoor metal chairs set-up outside. He lets Y/N plop down on one of the metal seats as he produces a coffee-in-can for her.

             “Do you just casually carry around canned coffees with you?”

             “No, just when I am on duty for the patrols. Caffeine is the best way to help people sober up fast.” Hoseok inserts an edible straw for her and she grabs the drink.

             “I don’t think so,” Y/N mutters, “Human body processes consumed alcohol on its own, thus, it’s processing speed is neither affected nor aided by any exterior substances. With this, there’s no such actual thing as 'sobering up fast.’ It just feels like that because caffeine is a stimulant and hence, counters the sedative effect of alcohol, making you feel alert and appear to be sober.” Y/N takes another sip, “Nevertheless, thanks for the free coffee.”

              Hoseok almost gapes. The people were not kidding about how Y/N casually spouts science shit wherever she goes. Although he’s supposed to get tipped off, Hoseok just finds this set-up oddly amusing. He leans forward in his seat and props up his arm on the table to cup his face. “Anyway, why are you out in the late of the night?”

                 Y/N gives him an unamused look, “Because I was obviously partying. Is there any other party in the campus right now than the Science Majors’ Christmas party?”

              “You’re right,” Hoseok chuckles, “but what I mean is, why are you already outside? The party doesn’t end 'til 2 A.M.”

              “I just decided I want to go home.”

              “Why?”

              Y/N drops her drink on the table, “Are you just gonna ask me 'why’ everytime?!”

              Hoseok tilts his head and smiles, “Talking with drunk people is part of our protocol in sobering up. So, yeah, I’m gonna ask why every time until the redness on your nose and cheeks subsides a little.”

              “Fine,” Y/N hisses. She gives Hoseok a steely glare, “This night is the first time I’ve done something so stupid such as going to a party in an attempt to expand my connections. It turns out everyone still irrationally hates me about Oh Sehun’s name removal and they refused to interact with me. They kept sending me glares  while I just pathetically stood in the corner of the room for the duration of the party, dumbly holding a cup of some alcoholic drink I just realized 30 minutes ago was what you call ‘spiked.’ These pretty heels I wore hurt my ankles and toes all for nothing.” Y/N covers her face with her palms, “God, I don’t even know why I’m opening up about these things with you when it’s just the first time I talked with you. Maybe it’s just because I’m just drunk, god, it’s so stupid–”

              “It’s not stupid,” Hoseok interjects and Y/N raises her head from her hands. Hoseok smiles, “When there’s too much alcohol in our system, we get to do stuff we never knew we can. And sometimes, they are things we really desire to do but dare not let out in the open, afraid of what others may think. And it may come off as stupid as you’re letting your heart do the talking instead of your brain. But you know what? You have to be stupid sometimes to acknowledge what your brain may be missing out on. Plus,” Hoseok stretches open his arms wide, “there’s just the two of us here so no one can really judge you because hey, I’m just all ears here. After all, I’m just an officer of the Campus Drunk Patrol helping you sober up.” At the sight of Y/N’s pursed lips and eyes set on the coffee beside her, looking as if she’s convinced (and it looks like it’s not like her to admit it), Hoseok smiles wider and leans forward. “Now, back to your story. Why did you decide to go to a party?”

              “Because,” Y/N sighs, “I don’t know, @keanu_reeves_is_the_real_daddy from Hoboken said in Reddit that going to parties is a great opportunity to make friends.” Y/N looks down at her hands and interlocks them, “I’m just–I’m just desperate to get some friends. I’m already in second year, and still, no one wants to be with me. I often talk about how I don’t care whether people like me or not. Most of the time, I really do not care at all. But sometimes...it also gets lonely when you feel everyone seems to hate you.”

              “Well, I’m not everyone.”

              Y/N looks up at him, frowning, “That’s a great joke, Hoseok. I saw you hanging with Jimin just yesterday and I heard my name as the subject and "stick-in-the-ass bitch” as the predicate in a couple of sentences.“

              "Hate to break it to you, sweetie, but it was just Jimin who talked bad about you. Did you hear me say your name and 'stick-in-the-ass’ in one sentence?”

              Y/N glares at him. She then rips her gaze away from him to set them back on her interlocked fingers. “What are you trying to imply, Hoseok?”

               "I’m trying to imply, if you want to have a friend, I’m willing to be one.”

               "But you already got lots of friends.”

               Hoseok smiles, “That doesn’t mean I have no room left for one more.”

              Y/N gives him that skeptic look again and Hoseok snorts. “Hey, I’m being serious here. I really want to be your friend if you’d like. And no, it’s not because I pity you.” 

              Y/N raises a brow at him in disbelief and Hoseok purses his lips. He raises his hands in surrender, “Ooohkay, maybe like 0.001 percent I do, but 99.999 percent I just don’t like how everyone hates you for something that is not actually your fault. I really want to get to know you if you’d let me.”

                 Y/N just stares at him and Hoseok, for the first time in his life save for the days he’s answering written exams, has literally no idea what to do. Is Y/N angry at him for blurting out those things? Or is she aggravated he seemed plastic? But Hoseok knows he meant every single thing he said because first and foremost, he cannot lie even if he wanted to. He’s a goddamn horrible liar that anyone will know he’s lying before he can even start to lie. Second, he always says the first thing that comes to his mind because, in the majority of his life, he is incapable of thinking first before doing something. And third, Hoseok really meant what he said. He’s always been curious about Y/N. Jimin and Taehyung always talk ill about her and from the numerous negative shits he hears from them, he can’t help but think that maybe, her reputation is just one big hell of a rumor. It’s just impossible that so many rumors and negative comments about someone who he rarely sees outside the university, to be true. 

              Hoseok knows because he also has his fair share of rumors he has struggled to disprove. Like how he “cheated” in dance contests because no one can’t believe someone is just so exceptionally talented that they can win every single competition they join. Or how he “slept around” with almost half of the female population in the university just because he has lots of female friends and he loves to joke around with eggplant and saliva emojis in his texts. It’s hard to be contained in such one definitive title, much more a heavily negative one. Hoseok knew what it felt and it feels it’s just wrong to stay as a standbyer while the entire university jeers on Y/N for such a trivial reason.

              “Do-do you really mean that?”

              Hoseok looks at Y/N and nods. “Yes, I do.”

              Something wet drops on his jacket and Hoseok looks up at the sky. The sky is pitch black, save for the white inklets dotting the atmosphere, lightening up the dark horizon along with the glow of sparkling snowflakes. He turns to Y/N and smiles, “Oh look, it’s the first snow.”

              Y/N returns his smile this time. She tells him she wants to stay for ten more minutes to appreciate the snow before going home. Hoseok grins at her and says he’s got enough time to spare before his duty ends.

              The next day, Y/N’s frowning at Hoseok as the latter awkwardly holds his lunch tray next to her table.

              “Uhhh, aren’t you standing by the wrong table? Your friends sit over there.”

              “No,” Hoseok quips. “Jimin and Taehyung are not seated anywhere here because their lunches are scheduled way later today. And, this, in my opinion,” Hoseok scoots to Y/N’s side and sits down beside her, “is the perfect table.” Hoseok digs in his lunch and grins at her, “You should probably start eating now, too, y'know? Your food’s gonna get cold.”

              “I–” Y/N bites her lip and look away before she refocuses a glare at his face, “Are you really taking seriously your joke last night?”

              “It’s not a joke,” Hoseok retorts, dropping his utensils. “I’m serious about everything I said." 

              "But I didn’t mean mine. I’m drunk, remember?”

              “If you really didn’t mean them,” Hoseok looks at her, “then you can just tell me to leave. I’ll do whatever you say.”

              Y/N stares at him, brows scrunched together as if conflicted. She looks down on her hands on her lap and sighs, “I…don’t really want you to…leave. I’m sorry, I just…thought you’re just playing with me. You know all of this is still new to me. I’m sorry.”

              “Hey, it’s fine,” Hoseok chuckles, “no need to be so serious. We can take things slowly as long as you’d like.” Y/N pulls up a small smile and Hoseok grins. “Let’s finish our lunches and then we can look at memes. Memes are essential building blocks in friendships.”

              “Really?”

              “Yeah. Taehyung and I became friends after we accidentally sent each other hilarious anti-government blinking man memes.”

              It is needless to say the entire university goes berserk later when they find Y/N, the campus bitch, and Hoseok, the university’s sunshine boy, guffawing over chemistry memes during lunch. Hoseok does not understand a thing, but he enjoys laughing with Y/N as she passionately explains to him each concept and why they are funny.

              It is true that Y/N wasn’t the dearest person in the world. Hoseok learned this after weeks of dealing with her unintentional snarkiness and unnecessary science lessons that may seem insulting and offensive to others. But through the time he got to befriend her, Hoseok learns Y/N is just too smart for her own good. Y/N always goes around like an encyclopedia because she doesn’t know what else to say when she wants to find common grounds with other people. It is just unfortunate that Y/N cannot speak of anything that does not involve quantum mechanics and chemical structures.  Meanwhile, her unintended snarkiness is always directed to people’s redundancy and anomalies in their speech. Hoseok found out about this as soon as February rolled in, that it has to do with the restrictive childhood Y/N had. This, he discovered when Professor Minyoung Park called for him after his Science 11 GE class.

              “Hoseok, I see you getting close with Y/N, these days.”

              “Yes ma'am,” Hoseok replies. He sits on the chair in front of her desk.

              “Oh, then you must have been familiar with how she can get,” Ms. Park leans forward, “not so…friendly around people. I know she and her mind of hers can be a little too much for others.”

              Hoseok’s forehead furrows. How did Professor Park know? Although Y/N’s bad reputation has easily spread like wildfire among college students, not many professors or any of the university staff have shown any interest in her life other than her impressive academic standing. Hoseok asks, “How did you know, Ms. Park?”

              The 40-year old professor leans back and smiles. “Would you believe I used to tutor Y/N L/N back in middle school?”

              “No way,” Hoseok’s jaw drops open.

              Ms. Park chuckles, “Yes, it’s true. I know, what a coincidence right?  I remember how that pretty girl used to be so insecure about her braces.”

              “Yeah, she must be so…adorable back then,” Hoseok looks away bashful. He’s not used associating Y/N with such adjectives. Saying them aloud feels too weird on his tongue.

              Ms. Park’s voice makes him turn back to her. “Until now she is. It’s just a shame how she did not outgrow her…usual speech style. But in her defense, it’s not entirely her fault.”

              Hoseok’s eyes widen. His curiosity is instantly piqued. “What do you mean, Ms. Park?”

              “Well, Y/N L/N is brought up in a home…quite not friendly for children growing up. The L/Ns is a prestigious family. Not for their wealth, but for their remarkable lineage of geniuses. Y/N’s great grandparents are renowned mathematician whizzes. Her grandparents own Fields medals for their remarkable contributions in mathematics. Moreover, Y/N’s parents are well-respected chemists in almost every pharmaceutical congregation. Even their relatives are families of renowned doctors and engineers. From over ten years of tutoring her, I noticed how expectations pile up upon the short shoulders of young Y/N. Every single school day, Y/N has to attend cram schools and private tutoring after her classes to ensure she stays on top of the overall batch standing. She also has to be exposed to upper-class parties at such a young age which I think does not help anyone at all. Especially a child. All the people ever do there is brag about their achievements, scour for new families to ally with or manipulate, and eye each other’s mistakes so they can prove publicly how better they are than everyone else.” Ms. Park looks at Hoseok in the eyes, “Believe me, I used to dream about attending such parties until I finally learned how they go when I’ve been invited by the L/Ns. And with Y/N being a single child, all eyes were on her. So any room for mistakes is non-existent. Her parents assured her to grow like the perfect daughter they wanted her to be by making sure her movements are always constantly monitored and kept in check. You think Y/N studied here because this is just a prestigious school? No. The L/Ns wanted to send her abroad. To Harvard. Y/N refused and convinced them instead she’ll study here because I work here. And her parents trust me that I can be their eyes to see Y/N’s progress.”

              Hoseok nods but he cannot help but let his mouth hang open at everything he’s discovering right now. No one really knew anything about Y/N. And suddenly out of nowhere, on some random Thursday afternoon, he is introduced into a pandora box of history where everything about her suddenly seems to make sense.

              Ms. Park must have noticed his troubled face so she reaches out and holds Hoseok’s hand. “Hoseok, I’m not telling you these to pressure you. In fact, I am happy Y/N finally found someone who can listen to her and understand her, instead of watching her like a glass-cased perfect doll. I’m just telling you all these not to excuse the mistakes she has done but for you to understand where she’s coming from, especially when interacting with her can be difficult sometimes. So I hope you won’t give up on her, Hoseok. I know you’re a good kid. I just want Y/N to finally enjoy herself like every other college student out there.”

              And Hoseok, with his ever characteristic stubbornness did not give up on you.

“What do you mean I cannot state the faulty quantum mechanics in Antman to Taehyung?!” Y/N scowls at Hoseok, fingers frozen on the book she has mid-taken away from the shelf.

“Because you will break Taehyung’s heart,” Hoseok purses his lips and steps nearer to her, almost cornering her to the back of the bookshelf. “And can you lower your voice? We’re in a library.”

“For the same reason you should also back up a bit as I do not fancy you borderline sexually harrassing me.”

“Sexual harassment?!” Hoseok whisper-yells, “I’m stepping closer to you because I feel the need to whisper louder for you to get my point that you should not explain whatever Antman’s faulty quantum shit to Taehyung because that will make him angry. And sad!”

“Why will he be angry?” Y/N sticks her nose up and crosses her arms. “Shouldn’t he feel grateful I am adding heuristic value to his existing knowledge?”

Hoseok drags a hand down his face, “Well, I didn’t say you cannot explain some facts to Taehyung. I’m just saying you don’t tell him those things in a matter-of-factly way you always do because he’ll think you’re insulting him for watching such movies.”

“How should I say them then?” Y/N quips back.

Y/N learns the answer to her question before she knew she already did it. She realizes it when she gets out of her film class and Hoseok, who has been waiting for her last period to finish, asks her how did it go.

“Well, I told him 'The film Antman is quite weird.’”

“And what did he say?”

“Taehyung grinned at me and high-fived me.”

“Well then, it was successful. Much better than how you initially decided to do it,” Hoseok grins.

“But still…I called Ant Man weird, I’m still perplexed why Taehyung is pleased.”

“Calling something weird is a common expression to us,” Hoseok starts and Y/N tilts her head. Hoseok explains further, “’Weird’ can mean as a good endearing weird or an insulting ‘weird.’ If you added statistics of probability and some laws with calling something ‘weird,’ it will sound like 'Hypothesis one is proven: the movie is confirmed to be bullshit because of unquestionable proof.’ And that will appear insulting because you are not giving room for others’ opinions to be valid. It will make you look you’re belittling them if you said it that way. But today, you did not. See?” Hoseok smiles, “you do not have to state 100 percent what you really meant. Just a bit of truth you find essential for others to know is already enough for a small talk.”

Y/N nods, her lips morphed into an amused “oh.”

Hoseok grins as he puts his hands on his waist, “Trust me on this. I became Mr. Congeniality last year for a reason.”

“What does it have to do with making small talk?”

“It means, I am the expert in making small talk.”

***

“C'mon, Y/N, let’s go to the spring festival. Please, please, please, pleaseeee.”

“No, Hoseok,” Y/N pulls her hand from his grip, “I have to study for our finals.”

“But, Y/N, it’s too early for that. The finals is yet to come 'til next month! Look at me, I do not feel any pressure to study yet.”

“But that’s because you do not have any academic standing to maintain.”

Hoseok’s face falls and Y/N immediately rectifies her mistake. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that, Hoseok. Of course, I know you also value your class standing, given your program and all. I’m sorry I’m being insensitive again.”

Hoseok breaks into a laugh. “Oh my god, I’m just fucking around with you! You’re partially right though, I don’t have an academic standing to maintain but a performative one. Although I still have to keep my grades up so I can continue studying here. Anyway,” Hoseok grins at Y/N, offering his hand out, “I only accept apologies in the form of accompanying me to the spring festival.”

“Fine, Hoseok,” Y/N  begrudgingly accepts his hand. But Hoseok cannot miss the small smile forming on her lips.

“Don’t fret tho,” He boops her nose and she cringes at him, “we can  insert some Q&A sessions later so you can do a bit of studying if you’d still like.”

“How will we do that?”

Y/N learns the answer to that when she finds themselves screaming from the opposite ends of the giant boat ride.

“HOSEOK, DAMN YOU!”

The boat tips and her stomach drops but all she can hear is Hoseok screaming.

“WRONG, Y/N. The answer to the drilling ship which can dig 'til the mantle of the earth IS CHIKYU! NOW, off to the next question. What are CYANOBACTERIA?!!!”

              But Hoseok does more than just sticking by Y/N’s side and not giving up on her. He falls in love with her.

              Through the months he has become Y/N’s friend, Hoseok cannot help but be endeared by her. The things about her he never thought will come as close to what he calls cute suddenly grows on him. It grows too much that he lives off every single one of them. Even if it usually ends with him getting roasted. He used to get frustrated by Y/N’s never-ending witty comebacks. Now, his heart started singing during their bicker-banters that Hoseok even started to look forward to their bickering. Y/N’s smile that Hoseok used to think was a standard horror level of creepy is now all he could dream about when he’s asleep, and even when he’s awake. The way Y/N laughs at him, or smiles when she sees him were heart-warming. Until they upped 100 million levels and now they have become cataclysmic for his heart. The way Y/N patiently teaches him his lessons, or how her science-y jokes and memes become funny was something Hoseok used to overlook as trivial. Now, he couldn’t wait for the days he’ll bring his notebooks to the library and stare at Y/N’s face while she teaches him quantum mechanics and chemical structures. 

              Y/N’s small “tokens of appreciation,” as what she called it, like her handmade ‘thank you’ cards she gives Hoseok every month, or her invitations for Hoseok to accompany her to some street event or nearby dance event, or as uneventful as a new food stall that has opened in the university were something Hoseok never put much thought on. Now, they’re Hoseok’s source of both happiness and headaches as they make his heart fly and his brain ache for thinking too much into her actions. The way Y/N looks at him like never someone else has before—so attentive and focused in everything he says as if everything that comes from his mouth has so much worth listening to. Even if it’s a disgusting tale of how he almost shitted his pants before their science exam because he didn’t listen to Jimin when he told him to stop binge-eating spicy wings as a coping mechanism to stress, Y/N listens. This used to be something Hoseok treats as his special privilege as her friend. But now, it has become a national treasure he does not want to share with others. Especially with Namjoon, his roommate, whom Y/N managed to befriend because the former is a Biology major who’s on the same level as Y/N’s intellectual prowess. God, Hoseok cannot even count on his hands the number of times he’s been conflicted if it was jealousy on Namjoon’s effortless way to make Y/N laugh, or petty anger because he cannot even understand their jokes. 

              Hoseok doesn’t know how or why he suddenly felt all of these things for Y/N. It just happened. And so is how he accidentally blurted it out to her during one of their conversations, despite Jimin and Taehyung’s adamant warnings not to ask her out.

              "And whenever I use the microscope in my room, I’m always scared turning the coarse knob so much. It will be horrifying to see the objective lens break the slide and the coverslip.”

              “Y/N, I like you.”

              YN’s jaw goes slack and she stares at him, eyes wide. Hoseok almost feels perspiration dot his entire hairline for what feels like ten whole minutes in purgatory. Will Y/N leave? Will she scream at him, laugh at him even for his audacity? Will she reject him? Of course she will, what is he thinking? Taehyung and Jimin are right. Y/N is smart and he is too dumb for her to even fulfill at least an ounce of her standards. Y/N is respectable and he is a shameless clown–

              “I…am allowing you to be sexually attracted to me, Hoseok.”

              “W-what?”

              “I said,” Y/N looks straight into his eyes, “I am giving you permission to like me, Hoseok.”

              Hoseok balks. “P-permission? W-why do I need permission?”

              “Because, if you’re going to like me, I need you to know I am acknowledging your sexual attraction to me seriously,” Y/N stands up, putting her hands in the pockets of your coat. “It will be a waste if you do not want a long-term commitment. I do not have time to dwell on anything less than that.”

              Lucky for Y/N, so does Hoseok and he wastes no time proving it to her. For the course of six months, Hoseok courts her in the most possible best Hoseok-way. Y/N lived the majority of her life within suffocating walls surrounded by academics, titles, honors, and people waiting for her to fall. Hoseok wanted to take her with him on a break (and a possible future lifestyle) away from them all. So he takes Y/N to carnivals, dance events, and festivals–ranging from streets decorated in cheap glowing lanterns to grander events that have remarkable fireworks displays.

              Hoseok shows Y/N himself at his most vulnerable and strongest. He lets her watch him perform alone in practice rooms as he expresses the things muddled in his head, things he never dares to say to anyone else. Y/N’s been with him when he broke down due to his anxiety concerning his not-so-impressive acads. She was also with him in his embarrassing drunk adventures. Hell, Y/N even participated in his crew’s weird end-of-the-sem party. She let Hoseok dress them two like the two robbers from Home Alone–complete with the rageddy cut gloves and dirty face makeup. But, Y/N has also seen Hoseok’s crew’s successful university tours, the exclusive events he got invited to, and his dance recitals that got many theater and entertainment scouts crowding the room he’s dancing in.

              Hoseok shows all of himself to Y/N. Willingly and so transparently, that in turn, she started to show him her self, too. Y/N let him see her in her utter glory. She let him see her receiving awards from various electronics competitions and exhibitions, her creating the first demo of her portable printer and scanner machine that earned many positive reviews from numerous investors, and her getting featured in not just the university’s newspaper or any other school’s newspapers, but the city’s news for a composting machine she invented. And, Y/N also let Hoseok see her at her worst. She let him see her get told off by one of the people she had unconsciously insulted in the hallways, her failing her Communication GE classes, and her having a panic attack when her parents announced yet again another party of scholars who wish to see what she’s been up to lately.

              These things made Y/N realize Hoseok was serious about her and she, in return, has started to cherish the golden boy who would never leave her alone for the day until she’s crying from sheer laughter and happiness.

              However, it is the small things Hoseok does that really really gets to her.

              Hoseok remembers the small details Y/N slips in during their conversations.

“Hey, you are not supposed to eat that,” a fork clashes with Y/N’s own, preventing her from reaching the delectable dish.

“This pasta?” Y/N looks up at Hoseok.

“It has chopped shrimps. I asked Seokjin about it and he said it has prawns.” Hoseok grabs Y/N’s hand and leads her to the other side of the buffet. There, he gets her pasta with white sauce, this time, garnished in bacon. “Here, eat this, instead. It may not taste like the one with the shrimp but at least you won’t get allergies and you can enjoy the rest of the night instead of chilling out at the hospital watching sad re-runs of The Big Bang Theory.”

***

“Hoseok, you won’t believe how fascinating my yield turned out to be, like–Hoseok, what are you doing?

Hoseok pauses in his fumbling and blinks at Y/N. He looks down back at his bag and sighs. “I was hoping to keep this a surprise but oh well.”

He pulls up something from his bag and Y/N’s left gaping when he hands her a box of baked cookies. He rubs his neck, the tip of his ears reddening under her  gaze. “I remember you telling me it’s been a while since you ate cookies. My mom baked a lot for us so here, have some. I know you’re on some ridiculous diet your parents told you to take. But I hope you could give yourself a cheat day and just eat and enjoy the day. Your parents aren’t here.”

              Hoseok never fails to check up on her.

“Hey, how long have you been hunched over your desk now?” Hoseok’s voice blares from Y/N’s phone’s speakers and she sighs.

“About five hours now, I think?”

“Okay. Why don’t you take a break for ten minutes before going back to the grind? You told me your back is being an ass to you for two weeks now. Give it some rest. Also, drink some water.”

“Okay mom, will do,” Y/N chuckles over the line.

“Okay my daughter,” Hoseok sing-songs and she snorts. “I’ll call later and check up on you. Don’t dare to not take a break. I know where your dorm is and I’ll break into your window if I have to.”

“Okay, okay, will do, my personal health support system.”

“Glad to be of your service, ma'am.”

***

Y/N sighs as she throws her bag onto her bed. Today is a beat day. Mr. David was sour and he poured all his frustration on their class by giving out unnecessary lectures instead of teaching the new lesson. Y/N guesses she’ll have to self-study again for a quiz the prof has irrationally scheduled for tomorrow. And oh, Ms. Peterson also gave out a heavy paper late. It will force Y/N to cram for it in two days as submission date is just the day after tomorrow. Why is every deadline piling up today? It’s not yet even finals week yet!

Y/N plops onto her desk with a heavy sigh. She’ll end up having to do an all-nighter again — wait, what’s that doing there? There’s a pack of sandwiches in a clear food container sitting on top of her desk, beside her notebooks. Y/N doesn’t remember buying one or requesting her rommate, Jae In, to buy her one. Curious, she picked it up and turned it around. That’s when Y/N sees a yellow post-it attached on the plastic container.

“Hey Y/N. I thought of you today and decided to make you a sandwich. This is edible, I assure you. I asked my cooking mama friend Seokjin to come over and help me. Eat this snack before you do your work. I know you always start work right after coming home from your classes. I hope you eat on time and not skip on meals.

With super duper mega love,

Hoseok 😘”

              And Hoseok helps Y/N to the best he can, whenever he can, especially about things she’s passionate about but no one takes time to really understand.

"Hey Y/N,” Hoseok greets as he plops down next to her seat in the library.

“Hoseok?” Y/N glances up at him, eyes wide, “What are you doing here? You told me you have practice today.”

“Eh, the members cancelled on me today.  And also, I’ve missed you, so I figured why not visit you.” Hoseok grins at her and she momentarily forgets how to breathe. Y/N doesn’t know when Hoseok started to have that effect on her, it just happened. And although it is starting to be an inconvenience regarding how she becomes a nervous wreck under his gaze, she weirdly cannot find herself complaining against it. 

Hoseok leans forward, breaking her trance. “Now, what should we study today?”

“Uh-uhm, cellular mechanisms. I wanted to learn more about cancer cells.”

“Cellular mechanisms it is, then. Want me to help you make diagrams?”

Y/N nods and Hoseok grins, “I see the skills of artist Hoseok is not about to die anytime soon, eh?”

***

“How does that work, Y/N?”

“Well, it converts the mechanical energy from every step you take into electrical energy. It’s not yet finished so I’m still figuring out how many more parts I need for this to work. My previous demos have a lot of mistakes.” Right at the same time, a bolt pops off. Y/N runs a hand over her face, “And a lot of malfunctioning parts.”

Hoseok scratches his head. “I don’t know about any energy conversions but I know how to screw well?”

“Is that a question or a statement?”

“A-a statement. I can fix what we have for now while you revise your design. Whaddya think?”

“That sounds good.” Y/N turns around and heads for her blue prints. But before she can pick up her measuring materials, she turns back to Hoseok, meeting his gaze as he’s mid-picking up a screw driver.

“Thank you, Hoseok for assisting me on this. I know it’s just a personal project and I may be taking too much of your time when you should probably be resting at your dorm.”

“Pssh, you’re not taking too much of my time. I am enjoying my time with you. Also, it’s not just a personal project. It is a personal project so of course, it deserves to have gigantic importance to you. And it will turn out great because I know it will. Now go let’s get these revisions done so we can do another test run.”

              Hoseok has been a wonderful friend, an amazing supporter, and a sincere person who never feels ashamed of showing Y/N what he felt. That is all she needed for her not to doubt anymore and accept his confession.

              “Hey, Y/N,” Hoseok huffs, hands tucked deep in his red parka. “Why did you  tell me to meet up in the park? It’s cold out. Can’t it wait 'til tomorrow?”

              “No, it cannot,” Y/N faces the man, brows scrunched, her lips red from the number of times she has bitten it. “Hoseok, there’s something I need to tell you.”

              “W-what is it?”

              “I…am reciprocating yo-your profession of your sexual attraction to me.”

              “What?”

              “I said, I am reciprocating–” Y/N’ bites her lip and closes her eyes. When she opens them again, she gives Hoseok the most focused stare she can ever give. “Hoseok, I am accepting your love confession. I like you, too.”

              Hoseok stares at Y/N, eyes wide, mouth agape. And for too long that Y/N thought the cold must have frozen him all over.

              “Hoseok, why are you staring like that? I am telling you, I like you too–hmppf!”

              Hoseok is kissing her, his lips pressed softly against hers in a gentle peck. Before Y/N could process things in her head about what to do when the boy she likes started kissing her, Hoseok is already coaxing her lips to dance with his. And before long, Y/N is returning him a kiss with the same ardor as his. It’s not like her to suddenly make out with someone so publicly. Hell, it’s not even like her to kiss someone with such passion that the warmth she feels on her chest comes close as to the heat of the sun. But as Y/N stays in Hoseok’s embrace in the middle of the frosted park which contrasts their warm chests, everything just feels so right.

              So right, as if fate just planned this very night for the two of them. Because, as their kiss comes into an end, Y/N and Hoseok both jolt at the drop of wetness that land on their heads. Y/N looks up and sees the familiar soft white snow falling from the dark night sky. The first snow. Right then deja vu sets in of how it was just one year ago she met this giggling boy in front of her at the very same time of the year.

              “I guess the universe wants us to be together, too.” Hoseok smiles.

              Y/N grins at him and sinks deeper into his embrace. “As preposterous that sounds given that the universe is, literally speaking, a no-higher living being, it is more preposterous that I am finding myself agreeing to and blushing because of this.”

              “I can’t understand what you said but I think it means you like it too so I’m deciding this is one of the best blush-worthy moments I ever had,” Hoseok kisses the top of Y/N’s head, “and whatever you say won’t stop me from taking back what I said.” Y/N nuzzles her nose against his chest, smiling at the way she cannot tell her heartbeat apart from his–the beats beneath their chests in sync despite the incongruity in her words.

***

              Loving Hoseok is easy. He is charming, generous, understanding, and everything Y/N ever wanted. Even more, nothing really changed from their friendship, just the addition of cheesy pick-up lines, sweet kisses here and there, hot make-out sessions which more often than not escalate into passionate (and very amazing) love-making. And Y/N loves her relationship with him as well for this. Because even if Hoseok succeeds in making her a soft mush for him, she cannot live her life without having him be the best-est friend she could ever have in her life.

              But from all the things Y/N loves about Hoseok, her most favorite has to be his utter transparency. What she sees in him, is what she gets. Hoseok is unabashed in proclaiming his feelings for her. He does not get embarrassed in showing Y/N his love for her. And, Hoseok does not keep secrets from her. He just willingly tells everything about him to her, no euphemisms, no lies. Y/N guesses this is probably the reason why their fights never last too long. Moreover, this quality of his makes up for Y/N’s inability to effectively express her thoughts and feelings. He taught Y/N pure utter honesty that so many people have stigmatized for naivety, but actually felt so amazing. He also taught Y/N to trust and let down her walls for people so they can be able to love her. Hoseok inspires and motivates Y/N to become a better version of herself, not only for the sake of others, but also for herself, and she cannot be grateful enough for that. 

              Titles didn’t matter with Hoseok, with Y/N, and their relationship. What only matters is their labels for each other–boyfriend and girlfriend, lovers loved and in love. Hoseok does not encrypt his messages in a way that would match Y/N’s mental capacity – He just talks with her like the way he is, nonsense and eggplant emojis and all. Hoseok does not burden Y/N with heavy, unreasonable expectations. He just loves her and lets her be whatever she wants. He just stays by Y/N’s side as she freely learns from and works on her mistakes like every flawed human being. With Hoseok, Y/N knew what she deserves and she started to live her life the way she has always dreamed of–so flawed but so perfectly Y/N L/N who is unafraid of what the future may bring to her.

              However, not everyone cannot fully comprehend Y/N’s relationship with Hoseok. Loving Hoseok may be easy but the environment surrounding their relationship is an entirely opposite scenario. For Hoseok’s and Y/N’s disregard of titles, does not guarantee everyone else around their relationship will do the same.

              Y/N’s relationship with Hoseok spread throughout the campus like a Jeffree Star fight-controversy with another YouTuber in 2x speed. The entire university has gone berserk yet again, unable to fathom how someone who shines so bright like Hoseok can be together with someone like Y/N who dims other’s lights. And for other people, they cannot understand how such a happy-go-lucky academically-challenged student like Hoseok can even amuse such no-shit, genius brain of Y/N.

              Almost everyone has something to say about their relationship. And, most often than not, they are negative. It didn’t help anything in their relationship as Y/N is already insecure as to why Hoseok even chose her when he can have any woman he wished. Y/N knows she’s difficult to be with. She struggles with expressing her feelings and thoughts. She even feels like she’s making things too hard for Hoseok. You see, Y/N’s a safe player. In whatever grounds she’s in — academics, social life, family ties — she  always plays safe. Y/N finds it hard to not be so, especially when all her life, she has been groomed to be a person well-liked by everybody else — a person safe from any negative impression that may tarnish her reputation. So, when things get a little bit too hard with Hoseok, Y/N finds herself automatically heading for the exit.

              Just like in one Wednesday night in August. Y/N had her fair share of fights with Hoseok. From the difficulties that tie with his popularity, her inability to show her feelings to him that sometimes makes him question her love, his procrastination and occasional lack of care for his academics, her nature to obsess over her studies that she tends to forget herself and everyone around her, to his numerous female friends who have the audacity to still flirt with him even if they all know he’s dating her — Y/N and Hoseok have fought about them all within their seven months of dating. And sure, they were already pretty bad fights given that they were immensely serious with Y/N and Hoseok ending up screaming at each other, giving each other cold shoulders, and ignoring each other for at most (usually) five days. But this Wednesday night was not like any of ther previous fights. Because this time, Y/N told Hoseok she wanted to break up with him.

              “Will you stop for a second, Y/N?!”

              Y/N swiftly turns around, tears brimming her swollen red eyes, “What do you want, Hoseok? I already said what I need to say. I am tired of constantly being the bad guy whenever we fight. I am tired of this, of you. I want to break up.”

              “No, you don’t mean that,” Hoseok almost cries. He looks equally devastated as her — swollen eyes, pale face, trembling fingers. “N-no, you don’t mean that,” he repeats, this time, his voice breaking.

              “Of course I mean them, Hoseok,” Y/N spits, “I never say things I do not mean. You know me.”

              “I know you,” Hoseok retorts, “that’s why I am telling you right now you don’t mean telling me you’re tired of our relationship, of me. That you want to b-break up. B-because you’re Y/N,” he breathes out. “You seem cold but you actually care. You do not speak your thoughts or feelings aloud but act on them. Okay, maybe you speak them out, but you say it in a way most people do not understand so that still does not count. But, Y/N,” Hoseok reaches for her hand before she can even think of shaking off his hold, “I know you love me. Deep inside the deepest of your hypothalamus, like you said, I believe you love me. Or else, you wouldn’t stay when I told you to watch me dance alone, frustrated with the world. You wouldn’t put in effort befriending Taehyung and Jimin despite knowing what they all said about you in the past. You wouldn’t have told me you wanted to come with me to my hometown and meet my family for my dad’s birthday. And,” Hoseok looks down at his feet, “you wouldn’t have stayed with me this long knowing how annoying I can be and what everyone else has to say about us. So please, Y/N. Just please…stay. Let’s talk it out together. Don’t just break up with me. Please don’t just l-leave me alone.”

              When Hoseok looks up at Y/N, it is with his brows scrunched together, eyes glazed over, and form almost kneeling in front of her. He holds her hands so tight, but yet so gentle, as if afraid if he clasped her fingers tighter, it will be too suffocating that she’ll slip away from him. He just looks at her and she cannot help but return his gaze. Y/N realizes right then, it may have been a bad decision to do so. For all she could see in his eyes is her reflection. Her and only her. It even seems as if he’s trying to keep the entirety of her as vivid as a memory can be. And maybe it’s because it’s the way he unabashedly tells her everything he loves about her. Or the way he remembers every single detail about her. Or how he knows her so well despite their relationship blooming at such a young age. But, they are all enough for Y/N to hold his hands tighter and let him engulf HER in his arms.

              “H-Hobi–”

              “S-see? You even still call me like that,” Hoseok mutters above her head and Y/N bites her lip as she clutches onto his jacket tighter.

              “Hobi, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean them. I’m not tired of you. I’m not tired of u-us. I do not want to break up with you. Not at all. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” Y/N lets out a sob and Hoseok hugs her tighter, running a hand over her hair, knowing it calms her down. “It’s just that everything’s been too much lately. The-the way your friends–”

              “What did they do?” Hoseok’s voice deepens close into a low growl. Y/N gulps. “Please tell me, Y/N,” Hoseok says softly as he cups her face in his warm hands. Y/N bites her lip and looks away. She does not want to be that type of girlfriend who instigates a fight between their significant other and their friends. She does not want Hoseok to have a bad blood with people he cares about. But then, Y/N remembers their fight two months ago. That night when she confronted Hoseok about the consecutive late nights he has spent in the practice room, neglecting his studies and even his own health for the past two weeks. The moment Y/N cornered him about it, Hoseok broke down and told her everything — how he lacked the motivation to perform well in his recitals and how his course adviser told him to pull his shit together before he fucks up the nearing international dance competition.

“She told me that I’m dating you right now but why can’t I even pull my shit together like you do. That she doesn’t understand why you’re even dating me when you can date far more competent guys. That sooner or later, you’re going to break up with me. Because,” Hoseok sighs and smiles, but it doesn’t reach his cheeks, a tear slipping down them instead, “look at me. I’m so sloppy. I’m such a loser—”

“No, you’re not!” Y/N interrupts him and Hoseok jolts. “You…you’re not a loser. Sloppy, yes, sometimes,” Hoseok winces and Y/N grabs his arms and pulls him toward her so she can hug him tight. “Hoseok, listen to me. I’m your lover. No one else’s but yours. I love you and I will not leave you. I do not care about other guys, if they are more competent or whatever. After all, competency is just a social construct designed to promote the societal standards that aim for conformity.” Y/N disentangles herself from him to cup his face in her hands. “Hoseok, you are not a loser. And, you’ll never be.  How can you be at least an inch of one? You were the one who led countless competitions which won our university so many awards. Almost ALL the trophies in our campus’ Hall of Honor were all thanks to you. You were the one who helped our fashion design majors  grab an opportunity with various labels after your runway a year ago became viral. You were also the one responsible for resurrecting countless dead orgs with actually good goals. They even received rewards from the local government because of the projects you arranged! You’re not a loser, Hobi. In fact, you are the opposite of loser. It’s just your prof is an ungrateful bitch, demeaning you like that when you’ve brought glory to her name as your program adviser. What a fucking asshole, I could have punched her in the face and—”

Hoseok detaches his lips from hers and smiles. “I can’t believe I’m starting to rub off of you. You just said your first curse word. Two even!”

“Damn you, Hoseok. I’m being serious.”

“And so am I. Thank you for cheering me up, Y/N. This is why I love you so much!”

              Hoseok has always been honest to Y/N and she decides it’s only right for her to do the same.

              Y/N looks up at him. “Nayeon, Sungyoon, and…Sara cornered me yesterday and I thought it will be about what you are recently up to. Why you were absent at yesterday’s practice. It turned out they did this high school toxic open-forum-like session where they told me all my shits and why I shouldn’t hang out you. They said you were no longer the Hoseok you used to be because I kept dragging you down. That I…do not deserve you and you should be with girls like you. And you know what, I thought so, too. Because, you have far better things ahead from you than tying you down here with me.”

              “No one can tell what you deserve or not, Y/N,” Hoseok retorts. “Only you can. And, I know what you are thinking right now maybe the opposite of what you really think about yourself. But if I could help, I think you totally deserve me. Even more than that, honestly. Because, Y/N, you are not tying me down anywhere.  In fact you are tying me up. Not literally but figuratively. Okay” Hoseok closes his eyes, “I know it doesn’t make sense—whatever I say doesn’t make sense on the regular basis, so what’s the difference—but, what I mean to say is, Y/N, you are keeping me afloat. You are keeping my head up from the expectations and shitstorms that is plaguing me. You are helping me stay alive and keep pushing through all the difficulties I face. And for that, I am eternally grateful for you. So,” Hoseok smiles, “do not let anything anyone else says about us get to you. Because, they don’t really know anything about me and they very much don’t know anything about you. They don’t get to judge. Not when they do not know how it feels to have the most amazing angel by your side.”

              Y/N scrunches her face at him but she hugs him tight nevertheless. “Must you always be this cheesy and cringey?”

              “Only for you, baby,” Y/N could feel Hoseok grin from the top of her head. “Also, I’m gonna have a talk with those girls so expect apologies coming your way. And if things go the other way,” Hoseok clicks his tongue, “expect a decrease in my friends.”

              However, everything Hoseok spouted is easier said than done. Because truth be told, Hoseok thinks it is him who actually doesn’t deserve Y/N. She is intelligent but so is she kind. She’s mature and it is usually her who does most of the helping and progressing in their relationship. Most of all, it is more realistic to say, Y/N is the one who has far greater things ahead than him. And it became clearer to him the night she took him with her to her family’s home for one of her parents’ parties.

              Y/N countlessly told Hoseok she didn’t need to attend it. She even highly advised him not to come with her. But Hoseok has forever been stubborn so of course when he told Y/N he wanted to meet her family, he did every bit of convincing that get him to where he is now — shaken and lost in the middle of a fucking science exhibit of a party. The night actually started out well.  He introduced himself to every member of the L/N family, even distant ones who stayed in the farthest, most unnoticeable corners of Y/N’s house. Y/N’s family members welcomed him with smiles and actively talked with him. Her parents even handed him his plate of food themselves and invited him to spend Christmas with them.

              It only started going downhill when it was time for the main event of the party—the what-have-you-been-up-to lately segment or what Y/N would like to call the “let the best bragger win.” Everyone started spewing their achievements for the year in a fashion that challenges the other party to disclose their far greater successes. Which, ultimately, insult the others for their lack of any. The party felt as if it was a battlefield with every member of Y/N’s family pitting their achievements against each other, no matter what context they are in—even if they are not of the same category to even compare. Next thing Hoseok knew, he was being dragged into the center of the conversation, with Y/N’s father asking him to tell his “revolutionary thoughts.”

              Hoseok tried his best. He really did. He had recalled every lesson he learned in his Science-related GEs and even tried to apply them in the academic journals he saw Y/N reading. That’s why he doesn’t understand why every single time he opens his mouth, Y/N’s entire family is laughing at him. Is the Dual Nucleus Association found in fingerprints that funny? Hoseok didn’t take too long to ponder on it, for the next second, a hand is pulling him to the front doors of the L/N house. It takes another second for Hoseok to register Y/N was the one who’s dragging him onto the street in angry stomps.

              “Y/N! Why did we go out?” Hoseok pulls on her arm, “We have to come back! It will be rude to your parents! I don’t want to leave a bad impression y’know–”

              “It doesn’t matter, Hoseok!” Y/N whirls around, distraught, and Hoseok only notices just now her glazed eyes. Y/N chokes out, “Leaving an impression on them doesn’t matter because we have to get out NOW.”

              “What? No, Y/N! That’s not appropriate! I–”

              “Then is it appropriate for my parents and relatives’ to blatantly insult you right in your face?”

                 Hoseok takes a step back, “What? But they were laughing at me there. I guess my jokes are–”

                 “Hoseok, they were mocking you in there. We both hell know the fingerprint DNA trivia you were telling them is not a joke.”

                “But your father said the Dual Nucleus Association I muttered was revolutionary and funny.”

                Y/N closes her eyes as she releases a staggered sigh, “Hoseok, ‘revolutionary’ in my father’s dictionary meant ‘stupid.’” Hoseok scrunches his brows and Y/N breathes out, wishing she could let out as well the aggravation and loathing for her parents she has kept inside for so long. “He was making fun of you, Hobi. DNA does not stand for Dual Nucleus Association. It’s Deoxyribonucleic Acid. My father fucking knew what this means because he took a PhD in Microbiology and he didn’t even have the heart to correct you. He even put you up in front of everybody else and humiliate you without you even noticing it.”

                “W-what?”

                Y/N sighs for the nth time as she reaches for his hands. “Hoseok, I’m sorry I left you alone. This whole time, I didn’t know you were in my father’s care. It’s just that my cousin came to me and asked desperately for help about the verbal abuse he experiences at home. The way he asked for my help, I knew he’s about to-to blow up sooner or later. So I immediately went to his aid. And I guess I got so preoccupied trying to make him calm without triggering his panic attacks that I…did not see where you stayed in the party. Worse, I didn't fucking even know you were with my parents. I know this is not enough of an excuse and I have been a shitty girlfriend tonight. So I’m sorry, Hoseok. I’m deeply so so sorry. And right now, I’m trying to make up for my mistakes by telling you we should leave. Now. I cannot let any of them insult you more,” Y/N’s voice breaks and she raises her hand to wipe a tear that has cascaded down her cheeks, “I cannot, Hoseok, for so help me God, I will march over there and declare I want to denounce myself as a L/N.”

                Hoseok doesn’t reply. He just nods at her and looks down at his feet. Y/N gulps down the anxiety building up in her larynx as she leads the two of them to the car he rented. She opts for the driver’s seat and hits the gas. Within minutes, the two of them are enveloped by the silent nightscape, a stark contrast to the cacophony of pride in her house.

                “Hoseok,” the man turns to the sound of Y/N’s voice. “W-what else did my father say to you?”

                Hoseok starts to fumble with the loose thread of his navy suit jacket. “Do you…really want to hear it?”

                “Is it that bad?”

                “Well, I-your dad questioned my ability to provide for you in the future. Because of my major and aspirations and all.”

                Y/N turns to him, aghast, “What?! Why would he even say that? What, he started to forget women’s abilities to revert back to the traditional patriarchal views?! Fuck him!”

                “I knew you would say that,” Hoseok says, chuckling softly. Y/N faces him again, this time perplexed as to why he is laughing. Hoseok reads her look and he clears his throat.

                “When you told me I was being insulted in the party, I will admit I am offended. But, before that, during an earlier talk with your father, I was not the least bit upset.” Hoseok meets your eyes. “That time, I was scared. Immensely shit-scared.”

                “I should have come to you first, not my cousin–”

                “No, let me finish first.” Hoseok purses his lips. He then looks out of the car window, at the scarce stars on the sky. “I knew we are far apart from each other. It was obvious even before we got together. Hell, I do not even get the memes you send to me when we first started out as friends. Sometimes, I even get insecure that even if you are not really bestfriends with Namjoon, he seems to get everything you tell me you found at the lab. Just by listening to our conversations, he understands them all. So effortlessly at that. I even have to plead him to tutor me and dumb-translate the science-y things you tell me, while I dry my brains out trying to understand them. But when I talked with your father, tonight, how he reiterated your status and skills and their difference from mine…I have never been this scared in my life.   Scared that what he said will come true—that you will realize how someone like me can never truly understand you ‘til the long run. That you will get tired of slowing your pace down for me…That you will eventually find someone more compatible with you–who also has a much more stable future ahead of just an aspiring dancer.” Hoseok turns toY/N and he reaches out for her left hand, her free hand. He clasps them in his hands and looks up at her, “But, I swear Y/N, I promise I will do my best. Your father may not be convinced but I want you to know. That I will do my best for you, Y/N. I will learn more for you. I will understand you more. I will improve my reputation into a much more respectable one. Hell, I can quit dance if I have to.”

              Y/N gives Hoseok a pained look. “No, Hoseok, you will not quit dance. I do not want you to quit dance. It will be too unfair for you and I know you will regret it.”

              Hoseok sighs and shakes his head. “Yeah…that sounds easier said than done.”

              “You don’t have to do those things for me,” Y/N squeezes his hand, making him look back to her. “I actually enjoy helping you learn. I love that you goof off the way you want because when you do that, I am reminded people like you still exist today — people who are not afraid of being themselves. Because of that, you inspire me to live more. I also love that you put in the time learning the things I’m saying because it means you genuinely are interested about my thoughts and you are not afraid of women being smarter than you — something most guys fail at. But that’s because most of them are misogynistic, prideful men on their high horses. And, I know you’re not like that. Most of all, I love it when you dance. Because through it you freely express every bit of your emotion. Because, you’re transparent, Hoseok. You’re an open book and I like it the best because you don’t leave me hanging, confused, troubled, and worried about what you’re feeling, especially when you know I am already bad at reading emotions. You are my stable ground, Hoseok. You make me feel safe. And despite the bad fights we’ve been through, I know you’re always doing your best. How can we stay this long if not for you being the brighter one between us when it comes to communicating, knowing that splitting because of things that can be solved will only result in one hell of a horrible mistake?” Y/N turns to Hoseok and he looks at her with his mouth agape, eyes blown wide. She smiles at this. “You have to know you’re more than enough, Hoseok. Like you said,” her smile grows wider, “no one can tell us what we deserve or not but ourselves. And with this, I know and feel that I deserve you, Hoseok. And you, me. What do you say?”

              Hoseok’s response to that was not of a verbal one but a physical one—one that involved a feverish kiss on Y/N’s lips, and her jawline that led Y/N to park the car by the empty gasoline station. Feather-light kisses, desperate hands to grab each other as close as they can be to each other, Y/N indulges in Hoseok and him in her in a passionate love that burned so bright it rivals the sun. The only words that transpire during that fateful night was “I love you’s” and for Y/N and Hoseok, they are more than enough of an anchor of him to her and her to him as waves of obstacles come in your way.

              All of these moments with Y/N have accumulated into Hoseok’s most wonderful memories in his life. And he still replays them in his head as another year of being her lover passes. Of course, problems never failed to arise as they manage their relationship. But, the ones caused by the comments of everyone in the university have lessened as Y/N and Hoseok have now graduated. Hoseok has left the university after he graduated, while Y/N stayed in the university as she applied for a Master’s degree in civil engineering. 

             Y/N still lives in her dorm for the convenience of teaching in the campus and studying after work. Meanwhile, Hoseok lived in an apartment in the city, close to the prestigious dance studio he works at. Their schedules are most often than not, amiss, and the distance between them can be sometimes frustrating. However, what remains the biggest obstacle is everyone’s opinions about the two of them. Sure, they were not as restrictive as what the two of them have experienced in the university. But it didn’t mean it hurt less when people say how they never thought someone as fun as Hoseok will choose someone so boring like Y/N, or how Hoseok’s intellect was a down-grader for her respectable reputation, saying she has a tasteless choice in choosing partners. Although these problems may get a little overwhelming, the two of them never let them get in between their relationship. 

              Hence, Y/N and Hoseok are still madly in love like the first year they have started dating. So in love that Hoseok felt it is now the time to propose to Y/N. For anymore day without her officially bounded with him, when you already own every piece of his heart, is something Hoseok cannot take any longer. He wants Y/N to be his partner for the years to come, his significant other for forever, and the only person he wakes up to and sees last in his day and nights for the rest of his entire life. Hoseok knows this and he has never been surer in his life.

              This is the reason why Hoseok is where he is today: clad in an ugly Christmas sweater and mismatched socks, with a troubled look on his face. Hoseok may have only realized he wanted to marry Y/N in late November, but he was able to make an intricate proposal plan to execute before this year can end. Today is Y/N’s free day and he has classes that have ended early. Lucky for him, Jimin is free to take her out for some last-minute gift-shopping in the afternoon so Hoseok can have ample time to decorate Y/N’s dorm with hearts and diagrams of the hypothalamus (because “No, Hoseok, we do not say I love you from the deepest corner of my heart, but from the hypothalamus. We do not feel from the heart. It just pumps us blood”).  Hoseok will have the gifts he bought for Y/N delivered that very same day to complete his decorations (and to also spoil her even more). He will cook Y/N her favorite dishes and make her hot cocoa even though he very much likes eggnog more, just because she likes the sweet chocolate beverage. He even requested his orchestra friends Yoongi, Jinyoung, Seokjin, and Sandeul, to play Jingle Bell Rock (“in cursive”) on the far side of the hallway so when Jimin drops Y/N off, she can have her favorite Christmas song as her background music when she steps inside her room and gets surprised.

              That is why when his heart and hypothalamus decorations actually looked shit, the arrival of the gifts was delayed ‘til tomorrow, and the meals he cooked looked inedible—not to say the hot choco looked like a mess too and totally un-aesthetic—Hoseok finds himself frozen in his place next to Y/N’s Christmas tree, looking as if he was constipated for ten days. Worse, his girlfriend is already standing by her door frame, kicking the door close like it was just any other day. 

              Y/N hangs her coat on the hanger and puts her shopping bags on top of her wide cabinet. She nonchalantly glances at him, “Hoseok, what are you doing there?”

              Hoseok feels sweat run down his face in waterfalls. If Y/N is surprised he was standing stupidly next to her tree, she did not show it. But right now, Hoseok’s concern is her seeing the decorations he made chucked in a large paper bag he hid behind the tree at the last minute. Of course, it is poorly hidden. He plays with the collar of his sweater “I…um, I–”

              “Nevermind. I guess this is one of our spontaneous date nights you ironically always plan. You should inform me next time, you know, so I can prepare for you as well,” Y/N smiles at him. “Come sit with me.” She walks to the sofa by the Christmas tree and pats the seat next to her. Hoseok scrambles to sit beside her and tries not to look like the dumbest fool in the world. Y/N did not get surprised, the orchestra’s music is barely heard inside as the cold wind of early winter overrides it, and he looks totally shit. How can he propose to her now, huh? All of his plans are ruined!

              “Di-did you eat already?” Hoseok asks, hands sweaty on his sweatpants. “I made you your favorite.”

              “Umm…yeah,” Y/N bites her lip, guilty. “I was already hungry before Jimin and I can finish our shopping and I really felt a great need to devour some pizza today.” She reaches for her small satchel and produces a folded paper bag. “I saved some for you. We can eat it later while we watch Netflix.”

              “O-okay,” Hoseok nervously laughs. His eyes land on the pink mug on the dining table. He looks back at Y/N, “D-do you want to drink something? I made you hot cocoa.”

              “Ooh, I’ll drink it later. I just had a sweet choco milkshake before I got here,” Y/N bites her lips again in guilt. “I’m sorry, Hoseok, I didn’t know you prepared these stuff for me. If I had known sooner I would have never even stepped out of my dorm today.”

              “It’s okay,” Hoseok pulls a smile and he tries not to look a tad bit upset about the failure of his plans, because he knows Y/N will immediately recognize that look.

              And, he wasn’t wrong. “Why, Hobi?” Y/N cups his face to make him turn to her, “did I do something wrong?

              “No,” Hoseok looks away. “It’s just, my plans…didn’t work out today.”

              “What plans?”

              Hoseok immediately feels his ass on fire. Did he just almost give himself away? He cannot just blurt out he wants to marry her! He wanted it to be special and he cannot have that happen in just her dorm with his shitty-looking outfit and almost-burned food. He wants Y/N to remember this day and he ain’t taking the risk of letting any bad memories mess up his proposal. And so, Hoseok sighs and decides he has to abort the plan and schedule it some other day. He’s just gonna make an excuse for now. “Well, I just thought we can make this random Thursday special y’know? Keep up with the aim of my spontaneous dates–good surprises making life much better without needing a reason to be. So I just made some food and stuff for the fun of it. It’s just a normal day surprise.”

              “Oh, then I’m glad today is really spontaneous dates today. I may have…foiled your plans, but look, I happened to have a surprise for you!”

              Hoseok tilts his head, “What is it?”

              Y/N grins at him before turning around and fumbles for something in her bag. Then the next second, Justin Bieber’s Mistletoe is suddenly blaring loud from her phone.

              “Y/N, did you seriously just play Justin Bieber’s Mistletoe in speaker mode?”

              “Oh, don’t be an in-denial bitch. I know this is your favorite Christmas song. A good song has to create the aesthetic and mood for tonight,” Y/N chuckles, “Here, Hoseok, my present for you.” She hands him a box wrapped in a fancy green sparkling wrapper with a red bow tied around it. It was medium-sized, enough for one of his favorite KAWS models to fit inside.

              “Present?” Hoseok asks, feeling both joy and guilt respectively swell in his heart and pit in his stomach. Joy, because Y/N is to add another model to his growing collection. And guilt, because he didn’t bring her anything worth the same as her gift. But as he tears open the box, another fancy green box just stares back at him. He looks up at Y/N with squinted eyes. “I see what you did there, sneaky missy.”  She just chuckles at him and Hoseok continues to unbox her gift, only to have another box inside. Hoseok wonders what made Y/N think of doing this infamous wrapping technique for her gift when she wasn’t even that much into wrapping gifts. She always just give him gifts in standard wrapping paper, messily taped all over around. Moreover, what even is her gift and how small does it have to be? Because now, Hoseok’s hands are getting tired of unboxing box after box and the gift is now currently the size of a stress ball!

              “Y/N, can you just tell me your gift? I’m getting tired. I can open it tomorrow instead and we can just get straight to Netflix tonight.”

              “No, Hoseok,” Y/N laughs, patting his shoulders. “Keep unboxing.”

              Hoseok continues forth with the unboxing and his heart starts to sink to his stomach as the box got smaller and smaller. This is probably a prank. One to get back at him for telling Y/N last year he bought her her favorite gift for their monito event with Jimin, Taehyung, and Namjoon. Only for him to arrive with nothing but a bow on his head and shamelessly declare to everyone that he is her gift. Nothing must be inside this box to contain a gift so small. The box in his hand is now just the size of a small toy car!

              Hoseok sighs as he opens the box. Another green box will appear and then he’ll see the paper saying “Pranked you, Hobi!”

              But it does not.

              For the box on Hoseok’s hand right now, is gaping open to him right now. And all he sees is a sparkling, silver ring embellished with emeralds that seem to form waves around the base of the band. A fucking ring is sitting right on top of his hand.

              Hoseok gapes and just stares. Far too long that Y/N decides to break the silence. “Surprise! I bought you an engagement ring! With green emeralds just like your favorite color.” She grins at him as she holds Hoseok’s hands in hers, making him turn to her while he stays jaw ajar. 

              Y/N suddenly feels self-conscious and unconfident. This is not the reaction she is expecting. She starts to fear if she’ll spend the coming Holidays boyfriend-less. Just by looking at Hoseok’s stupified face, it looks everything is happening too fast and too sudden tonight for her boyfriend. Nevertheless, she says, “I-I know this may come off as a really big of a surprise. After all, this is an engagement ring and right now I am trying to propose to you. Barely, even. So, of course, this is definitely a shocker. Especially when we only just spent two years dating. Still too early for a proposal to come, as what others will usually expect,” Y/N’s voice breaks. 

              She wrings her hands together, her feet trembling beneath her, and yet, she couldn’t bring herself to stop. “But, Hoseok, in these two years I have spent with you…I learned what it felt like to be loved and be in love with you. We fight, yes. Healthily usual even. But, at the end of the day, everything still feels worth it. And I guess,” Y/N  smiles, “I cannot get enough of it. I cannot get enough of you. Being your girlfriend no longer satisfied me. I now want to be your wife. I want to be the only person you’ll stress over science just to impress. I want to be the person who’ll be your home. The one you will come home to, wake up to, and sleep next to every night, every single day. I want to be your partner-in-crime, especially when we have kids and we’ll play some game I never heard of but will still enjoy in the end just because you like it. But only if you want kids, hehe.” Y/N laughs awkwardly and scratches her nape. “Hoseok, I know I am clumsy in saying my feelings for you. Today is my first time saying everything so honest and raw like this so I know this may shock you. God, you don’t know how many times I practiced this speech in my office. Other professors must already be thinking I’m going crazy—anyway, what I only want to say is,” Y/N reaches for Hoseok’s hand and kisses it. “Hoseok, I want to stay by your side for the rest of my life.” When she looks up at him, she says, “And it will only happen if you’d also love to be by my side forever as well. So what do you say?”

              “W-what, I will say?” Hoseok repeats, still shaken. However, he’s so happy he cannot help the wide grin splitting on his face. “Yes, Y/N, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Forever and ever and ever and ever.”

              “R-really?” Y/N’s releases a relieved sigh, fingers wiping the tears that have formed on her eyes. “T-Then, why did you look like as if you’re about to walk out on me when you opened the box?”

              Hoseok cups her face in his hands, wiping away the tears. “Because you remind me a lot of the Grinch. The only difference is in the end, his heart grows three sizes, but you stay an asshole.” Y/N scowls at this and hits his chest, hard. Hoseok coos at her as he hugs her tight and chuckles, “You’re an asshole because you headed out straight for my heart—hook, line, and sinker — and now I am completely blown away when I was supposed to be the first one to do so. Seriously, Y/N, I did not expect this to happen this way. Not when I also prepared a surprise for you tonight.” 

              Y/N’s brows raise in curiosity. Hoseok unzips his gym bag on the sofa and turns back to her, now with a red velvet box on his hands. 

              Hoseok pops open the box, a ring of the same design as the one she bought him stares back at her. But this one, instead of green emeralds, is embellished with blue emeralds, her favorite color.  Right then and there, Y/N wanted to cry.

              Hoseok rubs his nape. “I’m supposed to propose to you tonight as well. But you beat me right to it and now I forgot my speech.”

              Y/N chuckles at that as she wipes away the tears that have formed yet again on her eyes. Hoseok smiles as he squeezes her hand. “But, that doesn’t mean I’ll skip on this once-in-a-lifetime’s opportunity to propose to you,” Hoseok looks at her, “Y/N, I love you. And I know forever can be a heavy word and sometimes love cannot solve every problem that may come our way. But Y/N, what I said two years ago hasn’t changed. I will try my best. For you, I will. And we may be young but I know you and I are capable to make us work for as long as time can let us. Because you are Y/N, and I’m Hoseok. People may be against us but we know with each other, we are the best we can ever be. We deserve each other. We need each other. But most of all, we love each other. That’s all we need. Me and you. You and me.” After he breathes out, Hoseok cups Y/N’s cheeks and she leans forward and interlocks their lips in a soft kiss. 

              Y/N grabs onto Hoseok’s ugly green sweater and deepens the kiss, letting her mouth do the talking for her and him. For no words can be enough to express everything that is settling in their hearts tonight — euphoric bliss, the sweet feeling of triumph. Although Y/N can feel a tinge of the uncertainty of what may come to the two of them in the future grappling on her nerves, there resides in her heart the greater courage that despite the unpredictability of life, Y/N knows she can manage it with the constant she now has by her side — Hoseok. And for him, her. Because, Y/N is certain this is the most right decision she has ever made in her life: loving him. And, Hoseok proves it is the same for him as when the kiss comes into a close, he whispers on her lips, “Guess the déjà vu tonight is really working at its best. Fate really wanted us to be together.”

              Y/N grins at him, her forehead bumping into his, “And where’s your proof, future Mr. Y/N L/N?”

              Hoseok presses a kiss on Y/N’s forehead, on her cheeks, on her nose, then at the corner of her ear. He whispers, “Look outside.”

              And there outside, white droplets fall from the sky, lighting up the near-black horizon while frosting up the window panes. It is the first snow. Y/N smiles. What Hoseok said to her when she reciprocated his love confession doesn’t seem so preposterous now. It seems like fate really tied the two of them up together as she first met and started dating Hoseok when the first snow fell. There’s a saying that whoever you’re with during the first snow, you will be with that person for a long time. Y/N and Hoseok have already been living proof of that for being together in three years—friendship plus dating days combined — amidst whatever people say against them two. 

              And Y/N hopes, that as she and Hoseok promise forever to each other tonight, the saying will come true. Because she wants the two of them to be together for a very, very, very long time.  After all, Hoseok is right. She is  Y/N and he is Hoseok and together, they are the best they can ever be, titles and achievements be damned. The weather may be cold during these pinnacle moments of her and his relationship but their hearts are warm and cozy, and there is nothing more Y/N could ask for.

Epilogue:

“You know, Y/N, my original proposal was beautiful, I’m sure I’ll have you bawling tonight.”

Y/N gives him a look and Hoseok laughs, “Good thing they’re gone now. D’you know I actually wrote my entire proposal in my hands? They just got erased because my hands have become so sweaty when I chucked away the decorations I made for you.”

“What decorations?”

Hoseok pulls on the collar of his sweater, “Cut-outs of hearts and hypothalamus?”

“R-really? You remembered what I said to you three years ago?”

“Of course, babe,”Hoseok smiles, “It’s you. How can I forget that? But they’re not available anymore as I already threw them away. They looked like shit.”

“Where did you throw them?”

“In a paper bag….by your Christmas tree–hey, why are you picking it up?”

Y/N turns towards him, smiling, her hands gently holding the crushed hearts and hypothalamus cut-outs. “Because you made it for me, Hoseok. Of course they hold value to me. It’s you.”

“You’re really a Grinch, you know? You’re making me cry with your sweetness and beauty when I should be jumping up and down with joy right now.”

“….Do you always have to be cheesy like this?”

“Only for you, babe. And get used to it. You have a forever to experience this one-in-a-million love from the one and only Jung Hoseok.”

A/N pt. 2 | Hi hons! Sorry my Christmas gift for you all was late! My requirement deadlines in uni ended up until Dec. 16 and so for the majority of December, I was solely focused on uni stuff. I tried limiting myself from using page breakers in this fic, a challenge I put on myself to train my skills again in doing transitions in my writing. This story is inspired by the rivalry of science and art majors in our uni in my first year! Also! I hoped you guys appreciate my take on @kwritersworld’s prompt. I want to incorporate it in a very unexpected way, while at the same time, reflects my character in a way I‘ve never done before. OC here is a bit grumpy and lacks social skills to be friendly so I interpreted her as an everyday-Grinch hehe). Lastly, @bts-poetry, I really enjoyed doing mini Q&As with you! I hope you like this gift and I also hope we can talk more in the future!

All Rights Reserved 2019 © Vanaera. Reposts, modifications, and translations of content are not allowed without direct permission.

[ma-sulevin]

Once upon a time, @heroofshield sent me a prompt to write a soulmate AU for Hazel and Kaidan. Today, I filled that prompt, and then TUMBLR ATE IT.

Here it is again, because I typed it in Google Docs, because tumblr canNOT be trusted.

Kaidan Alenko x Hazel Shepard, soulmate au.

25. the one where you have the date you’ll meet your soulmate on your wrist.

2183-04-30.

The last day of April, three weeks after her twenty-ninth birthday.

She’s been looking forward to this day since she was old enough to ask her mother what the numbers meant and why hers were white when the ones on her mother’s wrist were just faded scar tissue.

She thought about the numbers every day, looked at them every time she washed her hands and every time she got into bed, wondering what her soulmate was doing, who they were, what kind of person they were becoming.

Would the be a man or a woman? A human or one of the alien races? What would they look like — would they have biotics like hers?

She wondered and she waited. She joined the Alliance. She went to N-school. She did everything she could do to improve herself and achieve her dreams so her soulmate would meet the best version of her… and she waited.

And she wondered.

When she got the date of her reassignment to the new Alliance ship, the state-of-the-art SSV Normandy, she nearly laughed herself sick.

April 30, 2183.

The same day she was supposed to meet her soulmate is the same day she’s going to join a new crew and meet dozens of new people. What is she supposed to do — go around and look at everyone’s wrists to see whose date matches hers?

So, to say she’s excited is an understatement, but here she is in her neatly pressed service uniform, her hair recently trimmed, her legs freshly shaved (just in case), and her eyes bright as she walks onto the ship alongside Captain Anderson.

(She’s met him before, at least, so she knows it isn’t him.)

She meets the XO, the pilot, the doctor, the gunnery chief, the engineers… they all run together, all names she’s going to have to learn sooner rather than later, and none of them stand out as her soulmate.

She’s confused, but the day isn’t over yet.

It’s too soon to be disappointed.

Right?

She finds her bunk, puts on her well-worn and comfiest pair of BDUs, runs her fingers through her hair, and heads off to the galley to find one of the snacks she was assured they kept in stock for the biotics on board. They take off on their first mission in just a few hours, so there’s not time to leave and go anywhere else even if she wanted to.

Her soulmate has to be here.

They have to be.

She’s so focused on that thought — and then on reading through the flavors of the energy bars she found in one of the cupboards — that she doesn’t hear the footsteps approaching until they’re right behind her.

“I’m sorry I missed the welcome tour, ma’am.” It’s a man, his voice low and a little gravely, and Hazel’s heart literally skips a beat as she straightens up and turns around. “Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko, Marine Detail Commander.”

He salutes when she looks at him, and it takes her half a second too long to salute back. It’s hard to remember what she’s supposed to be doing when her brain won’t supply anything other than holy fuck oh holy fuck.

“Uhh,” she says, eloquent, and she’s glad the marks only provide a date of meeting and not first words. “Hazel Shepard.”

He smiles.

Oh holy fuck.

“It’s nice to meet you, ma’am. I think you’ll enjoy serving on the Normandy.”

Hazel drifts a step closer to him, energy bars forgotten. “Why did you miss the tour?”

His smile falters a bit. “I was in the medbay, but I’ll be ready for duty before we’re due to leave.”

“You alright?”

He hesitates, like he’s not sure about answering, and she drifts another half-step closer because she just can’t help herself.

After just a second of consideration, he must decide she can be trusted. “I get migraines,” he says, drifting a step closer too, voice low. “Nothing that will jeopardize missions. You can talk to Dr. Chakwas.”

She shakes her head. “I trust you,” and it’s ridiculous, but she does, and when he smiles again and she sees his eyes light up she wants to make sure he always looks at her like that.

Oh holy fuck.

What is she going to do if he’s not her soulmate?

She has to know, and she has to know now.

“I look forward to working with you, Lieutenant.” It’s all she can think to say, and she offers him her hand, the one with the date on it, to shake.

He doesn’t look away from her face as he wraps his fingers around hers. “Me, too,” he says, but that’s all he has time to say before there’s a sharp tingle across her mark and she rips her hand back.

Kaidan looks down at his wrist too, smiling, looking a little less surprised than she thinks she must as their numbers turn from unmatched white to black.

“Do you know how many people I met today?” She manages to whisper, but only just, the pure joy bubbling inside of her making that next to impossible. “I kept waiting to feel something, but…”

She trails off, face heating, and meets Kaidan’s warm gaze.

“I thought it must be you.” He pauses and rubs the back of his neck. “I just had to find out.”

She beams at him, smile wide, fingers itching to touch him again. “I’m so happy to finally meet you, Kaidan.”

He smiles back. “We’ve been waiting long enough. Can I… can I make you a coffee? Teach me how you take it.”

Still smiling, she does.

[themostexpensiveboningknife]

2020

Failed party, money in drawer, communicate, move house, move boxes, drive in van, walk to shops, buy noodles, think it’s the end, see whole bus of soldiers in Beijing, new area, walk in darkness, think about leaving, leave, think its temporary, in taxi, post stupid photos, check and check again phone, think people with goggles on my plane are over reacting, take off my mask to eat, keep taking off to loosen, arrive back in London. Tube. Cold. Pub. Party at WeWork. Exhibition at Dulwich Gallery. Farringdon. Drugs and drinks. Brockley, South east London. DJ. Ethiopian food. Morley’s Peckham. Walking on the River. Photographer friend’s house. Canal cycle. National Gallery. Car crash, Dalston. Omar Souleyman. Corsica Studios. Meet girl, back to my friends, back to hers, sex. Morning up to mum’s best friends birthday, Covent Garden restaurant. In a van, Sunday roast. Chisenhale Gallery. arebyte Gallery. Getting worse in China, seems nice and easy and calm in England. Camberwell beers and more. Second-hand book shops, Charing Cross Road. Courtauld. Leafed through a book about a man who lived his entire 86.5 years in East London. Still talking to the same girl back in China. Both believe I’ll be back soon. Chicken wings. West London, meal. South London pub. DJing somewhere inside. Kent, see grandma. Rave, Bermondsey. Friends from Israel and Germany arrive. More drinks, more drugs. Mixing friends. Gay bar in Bethnal Green for old friend’s birthday. Acid, confused and hilarious. Tate Britain. Serpentine. Cranes on the bridge. Liverpool Street film screening. Feels shallow, but good. Begin regular E Pellici sojourns. Primrose Hill with Dad. Beer festival with Keaton and co. Peckham, school friend’s house, bad vibe. More drinks, more drugs. Working on first music compilation with Slowcook and Fafa. Begin watching all of the Studio Ghibli movies. Watching Breaking Bad. At some point have huge argument with my brother, it went like this: He came home from work and I was sitting watching Breaking Bad, he asks, “Have you been like that all day?” I either took it in the wrong way or picked up on a sly dig. It was probably me, but at this point I was pretty self-conscious and worried about going back to China and whether or not I would have a job back there. Was getting surprisingly pissed off with my brother mentioning his work, felt like an affront to me. Weird. He goes crazy (he has a short fuse), punching a wall, ready to fight me. My mum is pretty upset. A few days later I go into his room and try to patch things up. Turns into a deeper chat. He feels like I haven’t been a good brother to him, he gives the example of not looking out for him on his first days of school. I say I’m sorry, it’s because I’m a bit scared and insecure. In retrospect I regret a little laying so much weakness on the table, seems his interactions/ways of acting around me have changed a bit. Still not sure how I feel about it all. Considered getting a gold tooth with Matthew. Play with cats, enjoying them more and more. Rave in Dalston, good music from Asia and beyond. Looking at magazines. Not doing much work at all. Being out and about instead. Go to Norfolk. It’s beautiful, but get way too drunk on first night, sick everywhere, wake up naked in sick. Massive fucking shitshow. Majority of people there have no choice but to act weirdly around me now, which is understandable. Still some nice aspects. One girl there surely hates me a lot. Tate Modern. Art stuff by self is good. Corsica Studios, semi-art, semi-music event. Mr. Bao for first time of many. Radio in Tottenham. Take drugs. Pubs. Drive to Asda with brother to stock up on food. It’s March and the reality of the pandemic is hitting. More canal cycling. First and only group chat on Zoom. BH Funk. Probably have taken cocaine and messaged one of three or four girls numerous times by now. If there’s one, in the cold light of day, horrible and disgusting thing I’ve done too much this year it’s this. Incessant messaging of poor girls that I know will react (although increasingly they don’t, I manage to alienate even close friends in this way). Southbank and The Mall with Nick. Reading about Wuhan. List of good texts. Continuing to do some writing. Making WeChat posts for guī WeChat, including mix series and miniessays. Greenwich park with Matthew. Grime quiz online. Delivering food regularly for my mum’s school. Hackney Marshes with Luan. Epping Forest with Mum and Dad. By this point probably have woken up feeling sorry for myself in Ludo’s flat, after untold amounts of alcohol and cocaine. Online rave. Beijing artists only mix. Go to Switzerland, pass through Italy on the way. Its breath taking, the mountains, the expanse of scenery, not used to it. Climbing up mountains with no one around. Rolo and Patrick and Rita smoke too much weed. I really, really, really still hate smoking it. Feel a bit annoyed how long we spend sitting around while they smoke, but this is way outbalanced by the uniqueness of where we are and the beauty all around. Producing more and more, actually getting somewhere. Cooking more and more food. Reading more and more, like: Black and British, The Corrections, Real Fast Food, Bass, Mids, Tops, Zadie Smith, Olivia Lang, Graham Greene, JG Ballard, Monica Ali, Mo Yan, Jenny Zhang, John le Carre, Naked Lunch, Nabokov, Bukowski, Zora Neale Hurston, Wiley, Bitcoin, Murakami, Judith E. Butler, The Painter of Modern Life, Maupassant, Chekov, Video Art, Gravity’s Rainbow (couldn’t finish), Anaïs Nin, The Net Delusion (couldn’t finish), The Establishment and how they got away with it (couldn’t finish), Roddy Doyle, The Secret of Scent, General Intellects, Women In Love, The Intelligent Investor, Lyndon Johnson. Victoria Park more often than I can remember. To Chrissy’s house. Mile End Park. Very regularly sitting on the river in Wapping. Bring the chessboard and play Ludo sometimes, people smile and look at you differently when you’re playing chess and drinking beers versus just sitting and drinking beer. I May Destroy You. Industry. The beautiful wide expanse of Hackney Marshes. My incessant quest to reach 1000 followers in Instagram. More cycling, and I hate to say it but it really was: Here there and everywhere. Margate with my Dad to see my grandma in hospital and saw the Turner Prize exhibition. Light blue like scrubs, the sky and sun felt eternal. Swimming in dirty water. Make a DJ mix of old 2000s Road Rap. Eat cheese in Peckham. Cycle along the canal north, keep going and going through Tottenham, past Enfield keep going, it’s mad how quickly it becomes quiet fields on all sides, arrive to some kind of lake, swim and then back to the centre of town. Outside a Hawksmoor church in Shadwell ate chicken with Karim and Ludo. DJing. From my bedroom window saw a big crane in the middle of the night sitting on the canal. Begin developing the second DCCY compilation this time with BULLY magazine. Go to a house in an old school in Camberwell. Discover new secret riverside spots in East London. Finally give up my apartment in Beijing. Mile End park. Cycle further and further East to a pedestrian bridge I didn’t know existed. Get onto the beach and into the Thames water. Interview Akito. Begin writing more, after few months of wiling away the summertime. My friend Emmy gets married in Rwanda, I give him some money as a wedding gift which he tells me he used to buy his wife’s dress. Protests in HK always on TV. Get more into finances, crypto and trading, and just saving in general. Had sex with an old friend. Now meeting a girl I first knew years ago in Beijing. More secret river spots. Keaton has his baby, Noah. More times on Hackney Marshes. Barbican conservatory. Watching more films, try to watch all the films of some directors including: Jia Zhangke, Bong Joon-ho, Edward Yang, Wong Kar-wai, Apichatpong Weerasethakul. Decide to watch all of the infamous lauded series, go through Breaking Bad, The Wire and The Sopranos. Go to the seaside for a few days, camping also. Henry Wu album launch in a car park in Bermondsey. Go to visit Keaton’s baby for the first time. Good photography exhibition at Photographer’s Gallery. Go to Wallace Collection again. August. Go to Berlin. Swimming in Berlin lakes until I get an ear infection. It makes me drowsy and lethargic, but still seems to spend all my time cycling around the city. On one night cycle for hours to a rave on the outskirts of the city. Like a lot the abandoned airport in Berlin. Oh yeah, vaping. Found a dead bumble bee. Speak with Nevin about projects. Write a piece about the future of the art world for a magazine being started by Nevin’s friend in Canada. Go to Lithuania. Walk around Vilnius, get too drunk by myself. Get to the Curonian Spit and Nida, beaches and new friends. For the Nightlife Residency project. For a short while life is like on a desert island of new food, new people, new locations, quiet and new meaning. Go to the Russian border on the beach. Cycle to the road boarder and get stopped by the police. Go nude on the beach for the first time. Sauna, sand dunes and forests. DJ out for the first time in ages, this time with Nono. To Kaunus and try nice and stodgy Georgian food for the first time. Hackney Wick back for party. Meet a ginger girl online and go on a date. Wallace Collection again. Free beer and pizza. White Cube. National Gallery, Titian. On BBC Radio London with my Dad. Riverside beers. Saw a lost swan near my front door. Meet Keaton near his work, one of many times. Making more and more music, getting better. Decide I need more organisation and clarity, put everything I’ve done on a blog. More or less long since given up on my job at M Woods. But don’t really begin looking for anything new because it’s still sunny. At some point I start getting benefits money. Go to see La Haine in the cinema. Someone blocks me on WeChat because of me. Some pub somewhere. Sunday walks and breakfast with my parents. Go to an exhibition in Woolworth Road with Muzi. Realise how nice it is to run to Victoria Park along the canal. Vicky Park in general. Dinners at friends’ houses. Museum of London. Walking with Michael in some countryside near London, surprising how quickly things turn green. Break onto a pier in Wapping with Jack. Battersea Park. Tate, Bruce Nauman. Old Street Weatherspoon’s with Keaton, drugs. Central London cemetery. Chinese in Camberwell. Chinese in Aldgate. Italian in Camberwell. More and more exercise, running, weights and yoga with my brother. Sadie Coles. Nick, Central London. Gucci Mane. Hampstead Heath more because Ludo and his flatmates are nearby. Ludo’s now house more for days and nights of you guessed it. Borough Market more, with Emma. Alexandra Palace walk and famous sandwiches after. Tate Britian new lights. More time at Muzi’s. Signing up for cycle courier. LYL Radio show. Shave head. Take acid and it hurts my stomach. Camden Arts Centre with Muzi. Christmas party with friends. Birthday. Cake with Muzi, presents and Indian takeaway from family, walk in Vicky Park with Ludo and Karim plus battered sausage and chips. Christmas at home nice and warming meal. Evening to Ludo’s place with more friends. Boxing day with Matthew, pints and then more at his house in Peckham all night long. Next day is tough! Giant turkey sandwiches, turkey soup, turkey curry. Buy first NFTs. New Year’s Eve stay in at Muzi’s, one drink and a cake.

[italianfish]

Here’s some things that I’ve overheard recently

- Michael Jackson part 1, before he came around

- That’s a sexy gauge

- We have cones in our eyes??? *Turns to friend* Show me your eyes.

- What’s ROYGBIV? Is that a person?

- I put the jewish inside of him

- The air in my house is polluted with sleeping pills

- One day someone will react to my gay jokes

- One day someone brought a tub of ice cream out of their backpack in the middle of class

- Hey Francis (Talking to a blow up alien)

- Why do you like assholes

- Aladdin doesn’t have nipples

- Support your own god damn neck!

- I saw my friend in the bathroom and he gave me orange juice

- FORM THE EQUATOR!!!

- Yes, indeed my good sir

- Sharing your wealth is the way to become poor

- I’m sorry I don’t have calcium in my body

- Why the pancreas?!

- I watched this show and these characters exploded and it was my favorite show

- Someone is going to lose a pancreas

- A: Don’t lose your pancreas B: I’ll try to hold onto it

- She knew how to multiply! And I was like “You’re only three!”

- Come on Moser, hitting the nut won’t do anything

- I work with a prostitute

- I love crunchy pancakes

- You are a big neon doof

- Look I can spit, I’m cool now

- ‘Ay! Trout!

- In her free time she did her taxes

- Hey! You like Raisin Bran?

- If you get a rooster you’ll be hungry, unless you eat him

- It smells like Hawaii

- If A claims he’s a god and Jesus says he’s the son of god... Does that mean Jesus is A’s son?

- We managed to convince our sub that this was a film and lit class so we watched infinity war all period

- A- So let’s keep the duck B- It’s a vulture...

- Did you just call me fuzzy?

- I didn’t recognize you with your clothes on

- He looks like a punk rock jazz drummer

- A- British! British! B- I HAVE A NAME!

- Stop putting your dog in the oven!

- Did you expect it to be that good of a cactus?

- I relate to Squidward so much

- He was like the dad that left to get cigarettes and never came back

- We’re literally following Marty Mcfly

- My elbows are funky fresh

- A- You shank em’ B- No! That is the exact opposite of a solution!

- Unicorns caused global warming

- A- No balls in class! B- But we’re in health

- The crazy chellos are back

- See! I do have friends!

- It’s a train, a train of love

- A- Why do they keep getting rid of the babies? B- I don’t know, abortion

- You have to earn the bucket hat

- My friend brought in 7 bucket hats

- Hide the forks!

- The turtles tried to cross the road once

- I’m scared of turtles

- So does everyone just carry a sword around in their back pocket?

- When you’re fishing, anyone in a bucket hat has authority

- She has cheese on her hook!

- Are your knee pits moist?

- Why are you molesting me with water

- I was born vaccinated

- I was born to be a little spoon

- Why do I look like a hispanic man

- Can I tickle your knee pits?

- You’re going to get eaten by the ocean

- A- You’re a hot mess B- Hey! At least I’m hot!

- They’ve developed a handshake! Isn’t this a problem?!

- We’re in the OG thirteen colonies

- A- I’m not used to seeing those big grassy structures B- You mean trees?!

- My name is bagged milk

- You only drink bagged milk once, in Canada

- It’s not expensive, you’re just poor

- I forgot I’m a lady

- That’s you after I poop

- I want to be Brazilian

- I figured out what the voice was! They’re playing Bingo

- A- Do “coo coo” B- CAW

- It’s probably in a nice aisle, aisle 9

- So inside the bag there are 3 more bags full of milk

- Mom we got the bagged milk

- He told me I looked like Nicholas Cage

- Her bio says inhale the kale

- I feel like an easy bake oven

- The bags just like, left

- But what about the unicorns

- Look at that potato! That looks free!

- Everyone! Find a piece of metal and lick it

- I’m the toilet man

- Go fetch me grapes

- All girls want to molest this

- He ate a whole pancake out of an Applebee’s dumpster

- Why did he eat turf

- I’m on a mission to find dairy products

- I was going to go to school and pretend to be a witch

- Remember when you put the lotion in my mouth and I drank it?

- We’re playing quarter baseball

- Pretend you’re sleeping

- The ultimate frisbee association

- My mom picked me up from school so I could go to ultimate frisbee practice

- They got a $2000 grant for a barely existing ultimate frisbee team

- She’s ultra mom

- The dodgeball guy called my friend a walrus

- We did a dramatic reading of an adult novel

- He was buying materials to make a whip

- Grate her down like a piece of cheese

- We sat in a circle and named our most Jewish quality

- 4 is the cosmic number

- I hate being a fertile woman

- Excuse me I’m Jewish

- Surprise disco duet

- I shook like 7 tents

- She’s the strings teacher, we keep her in the basement

- Whenever we finished a test and we said “I’m done” he would say “I’m done! You’re finished!” his last name was Done

- I thought the fire hydrant was a turkey

- I asked him if his password was like an anniversary or something and he said “It’s the date of my grandparents death”

- He gives us weekly quantum physics lectures

- Bruh! That looks like a lunchbox!

- No offense but this guy would make out with a floorboard

- You seem like the kind of person to kiss a floorboard

- You sound exactly like my pediatrician

- Lots of poop, no sock

- She’s not doing her work, she’s looking at Peppa pig

- Yo neighbor, I need some sugar

- White moms are really easy to scare

- Even though it’s part of Asia, ITS NOT

- Why was there a hanging waffle?!

- I got complimented on my croissant

- You can sell your liver

- Bernie Sanders reminds me of a muppet

- WHY IS THERE A HELICOPTER IN THE KITCHEN!!!!

- What are you going to do? Hunt squirrels?

- *A bunch of AP students shouting “Linguini”*

- I got bitten by an iguana in Aruba

- We got an actor to join the hammock group chat

- Say goodbye to your ovaries

- I’m half a butt cheek away from death

- Are you one of those people who puts ice cream and pop tarts in a blender

- Yo! You got any shoes I can eat???

- That’s how you segregate your trail mix???

- He has a six pack of ribs

- I’m so done with books about African children

- Do homies kiss

- I’m here for the num nums

- Don’t touch my pizza you savage!!!

- HURRY UP AND MEDITATE

- What are you for Halloween? Jewish?

- Do ducks have tails

- He was the one that broke the constitution

- Oh god now there’s Hitler on my paper

- God given right of ruling... Manifest destiny in China

- Do you shampoo your eyebrows

- This isn’t Bayblade!

- Bob Ross wasn’t an artist, he was an art therapist

- If anyone on the team is a jellyfish, it’s definitely Brandon

- It’s your fault that I’m not going to college!

- I’m having spinach for dinner! I’m so excited!

- I locked him in his toolbox

- Let’s rent a midget for a day and we can throw him against a wall

- I know how to utilize money, but do I know how to utilize it well, that’s another question

- Man, that place needs a Chick-fil-a, and I’m going to make it

- We should have the purge in school one day

- If you’re weird enough, people won’t want to rape you

- Flex seal it with tape

- Oh yeah, I got vinegar all over my sweatshirt

- Don’t say “Have a good day”, because I’m not having a good day

- Well maybe someday you’ll have cancer

- What’s up guys, I’m from Richie’s pizza, and today I’ll be showing you my body count

- An obo sounds like a clarinet with Down syndrome

- I DONT HAVE ANY MARINARA SAUSCE ON ME RIGHT NOW

- WE WILL SMUGGLE OUR KIDS TO AMERICA

- I’m the jolly black giant

- You pissed off a priest

- If we get a lot of money, I can take her boyfriend to prom

- Ted Bundy would share a lot of ideas with you

- They’re doing a milk experiment... But with marinara

- A- That’s not a color! B- But it’s on a crayon!

- Hey what’s up cheese goblin

- I’m letting my toes breathe

- I’m just saying, tinfoil doesn’t taste that bad

- YOURE EATING IT YOU UNGRATEFUL SWINE

- When I was away were you in my house? Because it’s happened before

- How do you say I have scoliosis in Italian?

- I’m gonna give give birth to a duck, right here, right now

- Are you comparing a 3D printed violin to genocide

- I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST BLACK PEOPLE

- Brother from another mother, TELL ME ABOUT THAT

- I’m a vulture, just vulturing

- I’m going on a field trip to the sewage treatment plant on my birthday

- You’re making my vagina angry

- Competitive Just Dance team

- Oh no there’s spaghetti falling out of my pockets!

- (Yoda impression) Take anger out on minorities I must

- I can turn off the lights and you’d still be white

[team-science-mega-nerds]

Fictober Prompt #18: Secrets? I love secrets.” 

Fandom: Supergirl

Pairing: AgentReign (Alex x Sam)

Warnings: None

The birthday card is sitting on her nightstand when she wakes up that morning. Sam says nightstand because it’s sitting beside her bed, but it’s more of a table and her bed is more of a cot. The DEO has been lovely and accommodating but Sam desperately misses home. She misses cooking, Ruby, and having a daily routine that doesn’t revolve around her learning how to pick up things without breaking them. Kara has been a wonderful teacher. Thoughtful and caring as Sam had always known her to be, but it’s Alex who surprises her the most. Helping out with Ruby, attempting to cook meals and bringing them for Sam to try, and - best of all - being the first and only person who has hugged her in the past month. 

The card is big and the only thing it says on the front is "Happy Birthday to My Favorite Bitch". Sam laughs, thinking it’s some kind of prank, but when she opens it, she sees that everyone in the DEO has signed it with little comments like "we love you, Danvers" and "thanks for having my back" in the field and that’s when Sam realizes that it’s a card for Alex. 

Sam stares at it for a long time. She thinks about just how much Alex means to her. How much those feelings have grown and changed into something that Sam isn’t certain she recognizes. Signing a card doesn’t seem like enough but Sam doesn’t think she knows how to explain everything to Alex’s face. Stuck at an impasse and wasting far too much time, Sam drowns in inaction as she watches Kara enter the room and pick up the card. 

“Thirty, can you believe how elderly Alex is?”

“Kara, I’m thirty-one,” Sam deadpans earning a rightful look of embarrassment on Kara’s face. “I didn’t know it was Alex’s birthday. I wish someone had told me.”

“Oh, duh.” Kara shakes her head. “Alex wouldn’t say anything. She hates celebrating them anyway.” That doesn’t make Sam feel any better about the situation. She feels left out like always. “Can I tell you a secret?’

“Sure.��

“Lena rented out Alex’s favorite restaurant for tonight. She’s going to love it! Food, family, friends…” Kara trails off, realizing the implications. “But seriously, she's very chill about all of this.” 

Kara leaves soon after, lying about needing to go to work, and Sam does what she always does on quiet mornings like this. She puts on clothes, which are basically nurses scrubs, and goes in search of coffee. She’s learned that the coffee they make in the break room is garbage and she’s much better off going to Winn or Vasquez’s desk for something better. On her way to find them, she sees that Vasquez has a box of doughnuts on her desk and immediately beelines it to her. “Heyyyy-.”

“Yes, you can have one,” Vasquez tells Sam without even looking up from her computer. “It’s Danvers’ birthday today. Did you know?” 

“Yeah.” Sam looks around as she takes a giant bite out of her doughnut. “Where is she?”

“Conference room, upstairs. I think she’s hiding away from all the birthday wishes. J’onn sang; you should’ve seen how red she got.” Sam would’ve paid to see that but for now, she walks down the long hallway that leads to the conference rooms. Alex isn’t hard to find. She’s tucked away in the corner, with her laptop sitting in her lap, and a mug sitting at a table nearby. She’s watching something intently. Sam nearly turns around and jogs away, but Alex catches her eye through the glass.

“Hey,” Alex presses a few buttons on her laptop, closes it, and waves Sam into the room. Sam immediately notices that Alex is wearing joggers, tennis shoes, and a purple hoodie with the strings unevenly dangling around her chest. Alex notices Sam noticing her and she laughs. “I get to dress down, it’s my special day.”

“Yeah, I heard.” Sam tries not to sound too disappointed, instead, she takes a few steps closer to Alex. “Your…” Sam motions for Alex to stand up. “This is bothering the hell out of me,” Sam says as she tugs at the strings on Alex’s hoodie to even them out. While Sam is busy trying to restore balance in the world, she can feel Alex’s eyes on her. “What?”

“Nothing, I…” Alex blushes and walks over to her backpack. She unzips it and pulls out a wrapped gift. “I got you something.”

“I don’t think you understand how birthdays work.”

“I do, trust me.” Alex hands the gift to Sam. “Open it.” Sam does, slowly, like it’s a bomb. She doesn’t know what it could be but it doesn’t feel right. Being trapped in the DEO, missing out on celebrating her friend's birthday, getting a gift from said friend out of the blue. 

A mug. 

Like one you’d get at an art fair. It’s richly purple with specks of turquoise on the handle. Sam looks up at Alex hoping she’ll say something. “Eliza took me to this pottery class as a pre-birthday thing. I made that. For you.” Alex rubs the back of her neck. “Well, you said your favorite color was purple and I…”

“Alex.” Sam wraps her arms around the agent to stall the rambling. “Thank you.” Those are the words Sam says but what she really wants to say is: you are the sweetest person I’ve ever met. Because that’s the truth and those are the words that Sam has been holding onto for weeks now. A mug might seem like a small gesture but it makes Sam want to cry. “Happy birthday, by the way.” Sam mumbles, pressed cheek to cheek to Alex. “You should’ve told me.” 

“It’s not a big deal,” Alex insists. She goes over to the fancy pour-over coffee set up they have in this room and begins the brewing process. 

Sam takes a seat at the large and very cold table. “It is a big deal. I would’ve gotten you something. Like...some free toilet paper. Or...Winn’s Tupperware.” Alex snorts out a laugh. Sam considers the possibility that she might be in love. “What were you doing up here all alone anyway?” 

“Oh.” Alex leaves the coffee to brew, grabs her laptop, and sits down next to Sam. “My mom sent me this.” Alex opens the laptop and clicks on a video file. What Sam sees nearly gives her a heart attack. It’s a video of Alex, no more than ten years old, surfing with a man - who Sam can only assume is her father. “This is at the beach near my house in Midvale. That’s my dad,” Alex explains. 

“You’re good,” Sam remarks honestly. 

“One of my many talents.”

“You sure you’ll still be able to surf, now that you’re certified geriatric?” 

“We’ll have to see when we go.” Sam turns to Alex. Now she’s worried. Had they talked about going surfing before? If they had, then Sam doesn’t remember, and if she doesn’t remember then she might not be fixed. “Ruby and I have been plotting.”

“I wonder what else you two have in store for me.”

“How about a new water filter in your fridge and a new ladder?” 

“What happened to the ladder?” Sam asks.

“I broke it. It’s wooden. Who gets a wooden ladder?” Sam ignores that and tries her best not to think about how much time Alex is spending with Ruby. Ruby talks about Alex a lot. Usually, if it’s just the two of them sitting in Sam’s ‘room’, Ruby perches on the end of her bed going on and on about how great Alex is. If Lena’s there, Ruby will try and sneak in some curse words and put the blame on Lena for being a bad influence. Sam always wants to ask: are you safe, are you happy? But she never can. “We’ll get you home soon.”

“I’m still learning how to turn on lights without breaking the entire wall. It’ll be a while.” 

“Sooner than you think. Though…” Alex tugs at the sleeve of Sam’s scrubs. “You look pretty cute in these.” Sam's heart warms in a way that can only be described as juvenile. “Shit. The coffee.” 

Alex grabs Sam’s new mug and fills it, putting in one creamer and two packs of sugar, which only makes Sam more enamored. She remembered what she likes in her coffee, the last person Sam dated barely remembered Ruby’s name. 

“You shouldn’t even be at work today. You should be enjoying your birthday out in the real world.”

“This is the real world too.” Alex pours herself a cup of coffee in a much less exciting white mug. “You’re here and you seem very real to me.” 

“I’m an alien.”

“You’re Sam,” Alex reminds her. “Don’t forget that.” It is easy to forget who she is sometimes. She’s been trapped in this place for so long. Not trapped. Rehabbing. The problem is that Sam doesn’t recognize herself anymore. Without her power suits and ‘normal’ routine, who is she? Barely a mother anymore. Barely even a person. The day flutters by in a blink of an eye and Sam has to watch everyone leave and pretend like she doesn’t know that they’re all going to celebrate Alex’s birthday. She finds that it’s surprisingly easy to squeal and laugh along with Kara while also staring at Alex across the room. She’s longing, genuinely, and it scares her. 

“Well…” Alex says with her bag slung over her shoulder. She’s standing at the threshold of Sam’s door. From what Sam remembers, Alex has never actually stepped foot into the room. I want you to feel like you have your own space, Alex had told her on day one at the DEO. “I should get going. I bet Kara has some kind of thing planned for tonight.” 

“Goodnight, Alex.” 

“Yeah…um…” Alex doesn’t leave the door. “Goodnight, and if...if you need anything, you can call me.”

“I should let you have your fun, birthday girl.” Alex smiles and toys with the strings of her hoodie. She starts to leave but then turns around. Her eyes find Sam’s. Alex doesn’t say anything but her nails digging into the frame make Sam think that she’s certainly laboring over something. “I’ll be fine here.” 

Alex nods and goes on her way. Sam spends the next hour racking her brain and trying to figure out if she’s ever felt like this before. Is this a crush? Is it because she’s been stuck here? If that’s the case, then surely she’d have crushes on Vasquez, Winn, and Kara too. Sam is determined to come to some kind of conclusion about her emotions and she’s also is determined to ignore it all. Alex is her friend. That’s all. 

So when she’s sweeping the floor, for the second time that day, and trying to kill time, she nearly jumps out of her skin when she spots Alex standing at her door. Alex has changed out of her casual outfit and gone for something nicer - dark jeans, a button-down, and a blue blazer. In Alex’s hand is a plate covered in foil. “I didn’t know if you’d still be up.”

“What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be at your party.”

“You knew?” Alex, finally, steps into the room. She sets the plate down on an empty table. “Why didn’t you say something?”

“It’s called a surprise party for a reason.” Sam peaks under the foil and sees that it’s cake. Red velvet, Sam’s favorite. 

“Can I tell you something?” Alex asks suddenly. “It’s kinda something that’s been on my mind a lot recently. But you can’t tell anyone.”

“Oooh, a secret? I love secrets.” Alex gently places her blazer on the back of a chair and leans against Sam’s makeshift desk. Sam is not about to sit around and wait until it’s appropriate to eat cake, she digs right in and plans on blaming her Kryptonian genes if Alex says something about it. “What’s up?”

“There’s this girl. Woman.” Alex clears her throat and starts again. “Over the past few months, I’ve started to realize that I might have a crush on someone. She’s gorgeous and so funny. But every time I try and admit my feelings to her, I...clam up.” Alex looks at her feet. “I don’t know if she’s just not interested or maybe hasn’t noticed how much I always want to be around her.”

“She sounds like a dummy. Right up your alley,” Sam jokes. Alex looks more confused than ever. 

“Yeah, well...I don’t think she’d even notice if I left an important event just to come talk to her.” Sam tries not to feel jealous. If Alex is interested in someone else then surely that’s good. Sam can let this crush die before it builds into something she can’t control. 

“You should kiss her. Honestly. Sometimes words are just...blah.” Alex looks at Sam the same way she did earlier. Instead of lingering and leaving, Alex approaches Sam, who - at this point - has red velvet crumbs on her face. 

Alex kisses her so softly that she thinks it’s a dream. Sam keeps her eyes closed, too frightened of waking up. “Did I break you?”

“No.”

“Did I scare you?”

“No.” Sam opens her eyes. “You...thank you.” 

“For?”“Trusting me not to hurt you.” Sam hands her fork to Alex. “Join me?”

“Yeah.” Alex eats a bite of cake and smiles at Sam. 

“Good birthday?” 

“Good birthday.” 

[meangirlsx]

Dating Janis Sarkisian Headcanons

Janis is not shy

She will confidently and shamelessly flirt with you whenever, wherever

But at the beginning of your relationship, she was pretty easily flustered

She finds herself even still getting flustered sometimes

She’s not the kind of person who questions her worth

She spent years building it up and she won’t let anyone tear it back down

But she still can’t believe that you fell for her

She thinks you’re the most incredible person she’s ever known

She loves to remind you how lucky she feels to be with you

And you, of course, love to remind her how lucky you feel in return

It’s times like those that still make her blush

She loves to try to make you feel flustered too

She’ll hit on you in ridiculous ways just to make you laugh

And then she’ll follow up with something totally sweet and genuine that catches you off-guard and leaves you at a loss for words

Those are some of her favorite moments with you, knowing she has that effect on you

Because you definitely have that effect on her

But of course that doesn’t stop her from using her sarcastic, sharp, witty sense of humor

She loves knowing that she can make you laugh with pretty much any dry, snarky comment

You noticed that she doodles in class and mentioned once that you thought it was cool

Since then, more of her doodles seemed to be of the two of you or some simple designs she knew you liked

One day, totally out of the blue, she greets you at lunch with a jar in her hand with your name written across the lid in beautiful script

Inside are all of the doodles you had seen her drawing for the past few months as well as some you’ve never seen before

Once you’ve been together for a while and seem pretty solid, she asks you to pick out a patch for her jacket that would resemble you

It’s already on her jacket when she shows up at school the next day

She grins when she sees you and she can hardly contain her excitement when she asks you if you like it

Of course you do, and she’s thrilled to hear it

Damian tells you later that it’s almost strange to see her so happy and that he’s never seen her like this with someone before

She loves to kiss you, especially when she’s got lipstick on

The darker the better

She loves to leave her lipstick marks on your lips, your cheeks, your forehead, anywhere you’ll let her

But she respects if/when you wear makeup and don’t want it messed with, so she usually just leaves a kiss on the back of your hand, or your lips if you’re not wearing anything on them

Though sometimes she thinks it’s fun to see what color will result when you’re both wearing lipstick

Art museum dates

She loves showing you her favorite pieces and telling you all about them

She could analyze artwork for hours

Of course you let her and you love it

Which only makes her more excited to tell you more

She loves to learn which pieces speak to you as well

She also actually really enjoys going to the science museum with you

Damian loves to tag along on your science museum dates and geek out with the two of you, and so does Cady once she’s in the picture

Janis especially loves anything to do with magnets or lightning

She thinks it’s hilarious when the ball of electricity makes your hair stand up

She loves staying up late with you just to talk

She’s only ever felt this comfortable with Damian, so she’s shocked and relieved to feel that same level of comfort with you

You can talk about anything from just what happened during the day to deeper, more philosophical topics

Her favorites are aliens and ghosts

She loves to theorize with you about the possibility of aliens and ghosts existing

Sometimes, when you’re not together, you’ll get a random text from her with a new thought she had that helps prove their existence

You can also go to each other with things that you’d feel stupid to take to anyone else

Like the kind of questions you Google and are shocked to find that other people have asked the same question

She’s used to people judging her, and it always amazes her just a little bit when you never even think about judging her, especially for having a simple question

And it amazes her even more when you come to her with one of those questions

She loves Halloween, obviously

She invites you to join her and Damian for their traditional Halloween movie marathon

She’s overjoyed when you not only accept but get excited at the idea

Even if you plan to stay in every Halloween, and even if you don’t go all out with costumes, you find a way to match

Once Cady comes to North Shore and after all of the drama junior year, she and Aaron join your movie marathon too

They also match their costumes, and it becomes like a friendly competition each year to outdo each other’s couples costumes

Even when you’re in college, you all try to get together for Halloween

If you can’t all be together in person, it’s pretty much guaranteed that Janis will come see you

Then you’ll video chat the rest of the group to watch movies together, catch up, and compare costumes

Janis loves to cuddle with you during these video chats until someone, usually Damian, acts like you’re grossing them out with how much you love each other

She also loves to use Snapchat with you

She finds the filters endlessly entertaining and she loves to have an excuse to just see your face

She enjoys posting pictures of you or the two of you together

She likes to take artsy photos of you when she can

She keeps a framed photo of you on the wall next to her bed

For your birthday, she painted a replica of your favorite photo of the two of you together

You keep it near your bed too

She likes to fall asleep texting you

You bring a sense of calm to her chaos that always gives her some peace

And she loves to have you as the first and last person she talks to every day

Once you’re in college and have been together for a few years, she feels pretty safe talking about your future together

She likes to say that she looks forward to graduating and moving in together

And she likes to say that she can’t wait for you to be the first and last person she talks to every day in person

One of her favorite things to do is plan a future with you

She says it’s cheesy but she’s never been this excited about her future before

And you feel the same way

Tag list: @mars-bars-stars, @reader-ships, @anxiousankylosaurus, @msmith74, @broadwaymusicaltrash, @you-thinks-wrong-romeo, @theatricalwriter, @be-more-heidi-hansen, @peachy-jolly, @g1ngersp1ce, @trumancheerleadermaui, @dancewyou, @percabeth15, @coral-cat-iris, @sarkisiansjanis​

Support me on Ko-fi