#you can imagine angels any way you want don't get me wrong but by god its not ''biblically accurate''

[becca-e-barnes]

Humour me while I scratch a personal itch: Your dad's best friend showing you how your body should be appreciated 😵‍💫

"Come on sweetheart, I know he's just not doing it for you." It had never been a secret that neither Bucky nor your dad liked your new boyfriend but you never imagined this would be the angle that Bucky would be taking to convince you to end things.

"That's none of your business! I'm not talking about this with you!" You're so stunned, you can hardly even get the words out. It's nothing short of mortifying to be talking about your sex life with your dad's friend, never mind the fact you've silently been interested in him since your dad introduced you a couple of years ago.

"You haven't tried to convince me I'm wrong though! You need to stop dating these boys, they're no good for you. They're not what you need." He almost sounds like he pities you and that doesn't sit right with you at all.

"You have no idea what I need." You roll your eyes in derision, unable to believe he'd be this bold.

"Don't I? I bet I could guess. He doesn't kiss you right. He never even dreams of letting the tip of his tongue press against yours and then take it from there. While he's kissing you, he's probably pawing mindlessly at your breasts. He doesn't know how to take it slow and work you up the way you need. He has no idea that rubbing you over your panties won't do enough for you. I bet he's never taken the time to appreciate every inch of you. When's the last time he kissed from your ankle to your knee? How often does he stop to kiss your forehead? Has he ever enjoyed every soft slope and curve of your body? Not just the obvious ones, I mean all of them. The curve of your shoulder or the softness of your hips or the firmness of your calf muscle. He doesn't even try. He's doesn't put the effort in for you." He sounds more upset about this than you thought he would and for a couple of seconds, there's nothing at all in your head.

"Show me how you think he should treat me." There's no point taking the time to think about the implications. You want to know how it feels to have your body safely in the hands of someone who knows what to do with it and this is a better time than any.

His lips barely graze yours at first and it makes you crave more of him. Everything in you knows this has to be a bad idea but his lips are so inviting and his hands are gently holding your waist in a way that makes you want him worse than ever.

The tip of his tongue begins to inch forwards and tentatively, you allow yourself to do the same. Your tongue meets his and rather than feeling overwhelmingly off-putting, the gentle, wet pressure is tender and romantic and intimate. Thrill bubbles in your chest because if this is what kissing is supposed to feel like, you have no idea what else he can teach you that you've never experienced before.

You find you're the one increasing the pressure, looking for more. God, you want this. Excitement buzzes low in your tummy and before you know it, you hear a moan that you can hardly believe came from you.

His hands are roaming the expanse of your back over your clothes, never once straying towards your ass or your breasts. It's too early for that and he knows it's not what you need.

He's enjoying this just as much as you are. He's taking you apart, piece by piece. He knows he's only got as much control here as you hand over to him but he's not taking this at the faster pace you're used to, no matter how you try to dictate the pace.

"You're such. An angel." He kisses down the side of your neck, cradling the other side in his hand. His lips are plump and slick and the sensation leaves you quietly gasping. "You don't know how you deserve to be worshipped. You're stunning."

He presses you back, letting you hop up onto the kitchen counter, massaging your calf muscles with his fingertips. You never thought that would do anything for you but seeing him appreciate each inch of you; seeing how he finds ways to extract a pleasurable sensation you've never been treated to before is breath taking.

"We're not jumping ahead of ourselves, but just to prove my point..." His fingertips trail up your leg, under the skirt of your dress and he checks you're okay with it before pressing the pads of his fingers to your underwear.

The thin cotton is soaked through under his fingertips, arousal making you almost dizzy.

"Good girl, look at you enjoying yourself! Bet you haven't been this wet in a while, have you honey?" He presses his fingertips to your lips, letting you taste your own arousal and your mind races at the thought of sucking it off his length later, something you've never wanted to do for anyone before.

[bertoyana]

funniest thing to #Me about the use of charles' telepathy in charles' and erik's relationship in the prequels is how both of them suck SOOO bad at using it LMAOOOO

like, you'd think having a telepath in the dynamic would actually help things along with the communication, but they are both USELESS at making use of it

charles will use it to crossdress erik and tell angel how much he wants to fuck him and erik will use it to tell charles how much he wants to be controlled, but that's ALL they use it for. it's not even horny or funny anymore it's just SAD, man. they suck so bad at it

(the only time they ever make good use of it is when charles unburied one of erik's memories with his mother, and that's it)

erik just automatically assumes charles knows everything and that he knows WHY erik does the things he does (because charles is in his head, so he MUST know, right?) and charles automatically assumes erik understands the hidden meaning of every single thing he says (because erik is also in charles' thoughts, so he SHOULD know, right?)

(wrong. they are both stupid and they will keep going in circles for 30 years straight)

like. take their first interaction in xma as an example

(on the other hand, i don't even want to think about the "you are looking in the wrong place" line because it makes me want to k1ll myself in front of the writers)

they are in each other's heads right now, and yet they are not even LISTENING to each other, they are just going in circles because both of them are too wrapped up in erik's own grief to actively try to hear what the other is trying to say. and while you can tell charles is hurting for erik and wants to help him, he's probably not going about it the best way

also if you pay attention at the start of the scene, when erik feels charles in his mind he just... looks confused, curious maybe, as to why charles is there, but he doesn't get angry or defensive straight away. he just lost his family for the second time (simon kimberg i'm in your walls) so he's probably even welcoming the only familiar thing he still has left.

he doesn't get defensive UNTIL charles starts talking and just kind of... also starts putting his own foot into his mouth. bless his heart.

and the thing is, while they get interrupted by apocalypse... being there lmao, i don't think this would have pan out any different if it was just the two of them. as i said, they are not listening to each other. charles means well but he's not really listening to what erik is trying to tell him, and in response to this erik is rejecting any type of help charles wants to give him.

and we know apocalypse was using erik's grief (about magda and nina, about the camps) to manipulate him - *we* as an audience know that, but back in this scene, charles doesn't even NOTICE apocalypse. and this, plus the fact that as we've established, they SUCK at trying to listen to each other and communicate, just brings the entire thing to failure.

(also imagine being the most powerful telepath in the world and being too focused on your best friend to notice the god standing a few steps away from him... which could mean nothing)

(mind you. they are literally in each other's heads rn. they can hear what the other is thinking and feeling. AND YET)

and it's even funnier (no) how they are even WORSE without charles' telepathy. take as an example, both of their fights in the plane in dofp

from charles' point of view, erik was the one that left him. erik literally and physically LEFT him in cuba, took the only teleporter there was and left charles to bleed out (lmao). meanwhile, from erik's point of view, he might have left first physically, but he only did so after charles rejected him. so, from HIS point of view, charles was the one to pull away FIRST. when he told him they didn't want the same thing (rejecting erik's ideals and by thus rejecting erik himself as well)

(and charles also let erik to rot in prison for 10 years so he could be also referring to that lmao)

this also brings me to my other point. which is something that i do think is pretty much ignored by everyone, but to be fair, it's also ignored by the movie so,

and it's the fact that the movie establishes that erik has been isolated for 10 YEARS. again, we as the audience know that charles has been struggling for the past 11 years, we know he did all he could for the mutants and we know he's been struggling, and we also know he's been using the serum because he couldn't stand the voices.

mind you, erik doesn't know any of this. not only because he's been in prison for 10 years (and i doubt they let him keep up with the news) but also because charles doesn't tell him any of this (fair)

and the last thing erik said to charles before they parted ways in cuba was that they wanted the same thing, which charles denied.

so from erik's point of view, all that he knows is that charles promised him all those years ago that he wasn't alone, and then he rejected erik in cuba, sent him away, and then proceeded to give up on erik and on their cause by doing nothing when the mutants were being tortured and experimented on. and he started using the serum and living with hank like a normal human being, sacrificing his powers and 'betraying' their cause.

ofc none of this is what actually happened, and *we* know that. but erik doesn't. and for some reason??? that i find extremely hilarious??? no one ever BOTHERS to correct erik's assumption, lmao. also none of this ever comes up again in the movies which to me just means erik went on believing that charles just briefly gave up on their cause for 10 years LMAOOO

okay, moving on bc i still have things to yap about

the other plane scenes comes in. erik shows up with the chessboard, they actually DO talk a bit and erik tells him he didn't mean to kill jfk (can't believe i wrote that down these movies were insane) and then they settle to play chess. AAAND this scene comes in

and he apologizes for SHOOTING charles, because he never meant to hurt him, and he does regret that. but he's not apologizing for leaving, because, once again, from his point of view, charles left HIM

and then charles hits him with the most pathetic saddest wettest expectant look in existence (james mcavoy you are insane) because he thinks erik is going to apologize for leaving

and then erik hits him with this LMAOOO

and charles realizes erik is apologizing for shooting him (something i'm pretty sure charles didn't exactly blame him for? his biggest accusation was that erik abandoned him)

and you can see charles literally and figuratively backtracking and shutting down immediately AGAIN.

(because, again, charles thinks erik left him, and erik should apologize for that, but from erik's pov? charles rejected him, he pulled away FIRST so he wasn't the first to abandon the other. charles was)

(they both are wrong and right in a way. they also don't tell each other any of this)

then it's erik's turn to give charles the wettest and saddest look known in mankind, charles shuts down, refuses to even look at erik, he changes topics and erik lets him.

(they never talk about this again, btw)

(it probably blew up in their faces in genosha. i just know they make everyone's life miserable as hell in there . god bless)

anyways, i'm sure someone smarter than me could make a more interesting analysis of how you can tell they do genuinely care about each other, but their failing to communicate properly just brings them to their fall down over and over. especially because it's something that keeps blowing up in their faces all the time in the prequels. something something the failure of telepathy something.

[starrclown]

Silly little double post cause I thought of this SECONDS after my original post bitching about the Hotel.

I have a theory on why people don't complain about the black characters designs of Hazbin Hotel. (I'll talk about it at the end)

Let's talk about the 4 black characters of Hazbin Hotel that people defend the designs with their LIFE.

First up:

ALASTOR

Alastor has been confirmed to be a mixed Creole man from Louisiana. Does he look like it? No. No he doesn't. If you told me this man has the whitest parents this side of hell then I would believe you. There I nothing visually that gives away he may have black features. Nose shape, lips, not ashy grey skin (something well see just you wait), thy couldn't even be dammned to give him curly hair or nothing! He doesn't have no black features and it's really off putting.

People argue that he has a white parent, a part that could play in him not having black features. I will remind you all again that I am not mixed. I am white. Mixed people can look any way. There is no specific way for mixed people to look. But cmon. No black features at all? Nothing? Personally I believe that Alastor want designed to be black. I believe that Vivziepop only made him black to justify him using voodoo. This is only speculation but to each their own.

Side note but the way yall attack people, mostly on Tiktok, about redesigns or re imagines is actually depressing. Could make a whole rant on that in general.

Next up:

VELVETTE

Thir is similar issues with Alastor and Velvette. No textured hair, no nose shape, no difference in her lips, ashy grey skin. While I like that Velvette changes hair styles every episode, personally I think that Velvette should have more black hairstyles. Like Velvette with braids or dreadlocks would be so cool. To this shows credit, Velvette did have a afro in episode 8. Honestly that should be her starter hair before she changes it. That would be so cute. Manifesting Velvette with a afro.

3rd:

Sera

Sera I would argue is the best designed black character. She actually has more pigmented brown skin and her hair I think is supposed to resemble dreadlocks. Personally I think their is room for improvement. She could be browner, less ashy looking, since she actually had a nose it could be a different shape then just straight, their could be more detail for her hair. While she's the best designed character, their is room to grow.

Side note: Y'all hating Sera too much. I see fanart and animatics of her being this blood thirsty killer that is jus destroying hell. Yall she is actively shown in the first 2 minutes of Hazbin not agreeing with the exterminations and actively frowning at the idea of murder. Sera is great I don't know what yall are on.

Last and certainly least because oh my god:

Emily

This is not a black woman. No I don't care that Viv said she's or that her Bible page says she is. Where is any black features? Her skin is gray, she has pencil thin lips like me, a white boy, she has stringy straight hair, and no nose at all.

This goes along with Sera as well but people say that they are angel's and don't have to look like black women because their angels and don't have a race. Which 1. Is wrong because Emily's Bible page said she was a youthful 20 something black woman and 2. If their angel's that dont have races then that fine. But.

DON'T SAY THEIR BLACK WOMAN AND THEN NOT DESIGN THEM LIKE IT.

If Viv just left them raceless then the would have been fine. But that not what she did. She made them black and then back peddled when people said that they didn't look like black woman. She tried to have her cake and eat it too. No, I don't care their angel's, if your going to give them a race then commit to it.

Let's get on to my conspiracy theory. I've noticed something in the Hazbin Hotel fandom that I think is the reason for the dismissal of the black characters no having black features.

Fanart.

I'm going somewhere with this is swear.

Go to Tumblr or Tiktok and see the art people create of Hazbin Hotel. You'll notice that people give Alastor and Velvette brown skin, they give Emily curly hair, they give Velvette full lips and different black hairstyles.

People make their art of the black characters looking black so when people see it they associate it with the show.

This is of course just a theory but I've noticed it alot and I think it's a pretty damn good explanation.

Sorry if this isn't as good as my other rants, I tried to get this out quickly because my theory was bothering me.

Asks are always open, art is always here, commissions are open, black lives matter.

- ⭐️StarClown⭐️

[amourtoken]

hi!!! listen… corruption kink!ruby with innocent! reader and its the first time hes all like just the tip and you agree. but he just gets rougher and SLAMS INTO YOU??? PLEASSSEEEE

literally squealed over this bc I was excited to write it 😭 BUT UGHHHHHH that's so hot fuck me lol I'm definitely referencing like oddy/shark attack era ruby in this bc he makes me physically sick I need him so bad btw (also this is insanely long for what it is forgive me I got excited asf. ALSO not using his real name bc I don't feel like typing the whole thing out rn maybe next time)

Cw: corruption kink and a very very inexperienced reader with a nasty ass Ruby. He's evil. Oral (f receiving), nipple play, fingering, raw sex (don't ever do this), breeding, Ruby doesn't ever shut the fuck up, loss of virginity, size kink, dacryphilia, ruby is rlly rough and i could almost consider a part of this dubcon but lets not think too hard, overstimulation, just general freak shit.

I've added some visuals/x links so you can enjoy those scenes a Lil more <3

He's always been into you because you're everything he isn't. You're the perfect little clean cut angel and to be honest a little clueless about what life really has to offer yk? You haven't experienced so much as half of what he has and probably never will, and that makes you so much softer in every way. He'd love literally nothing more than to just jam you in a glass case and protect you from the world forever, admiring you like priceless art, however-

As much as that last thought applies, he has this uncontrollable itch in his brain that plagues the hell out of his thoughts and he swears it only gets worse by the day. He could leave you as you are, untouched and perfectly innocent, or he could defile the fuck out of you. It's getting harder and harder to avoid thinking about how bad he wants to hike that pretty white sundress you wear up your hips and bend you over the nearest flat surface. He's fucked his fist to the thought of how pretty you'd look split on his dick and all the high pitched sounds you'd make, how nice his name would sound when it's being whined while you're begging him not to stop countless times by now and it's really just not cutting it anymore.

It doesn't help that you're basically clueless to your effect on him either. You love tucking yourself under his arm while you're sitting on the couch together or basically crawling up into his lap to nap with your head on his shoulder. You act like that's normal, he practically has to peel you off of him sometimes and you always pout with big puppy eyes looking up at him cause he's so comfy and had the audacity to ruin it? Unbelievable. Every time you pass out with your head on his lap he can't help but imagine lacing his fingers in your hair and gagging you on his cock till your perfect makeup is running down your cheeks. He feels so gross but fuck he really can't keep depriving himself, it'd make you feel good too, so how wrong are these thoughts of his really?

He ends up caving to his own needs finally after yet another night of scrolling your socials and jacking off to any skin you'd show in your pics which was few and far between since basically everything was relatively tasteful. He'd get lucky and come across a beach trip set of photos and edge himself for hours to the thought of you riding him in that skimpy ass bikini of yours. He decides to make a move the next time you're over cause he can't keep up this act anymore.

You come over like usual and you just so happen to be wearing an oversized shirt you'd stolen from his place a few days back, which already had him reeling. He lingers a little longer than usual when you pull him into a hug as a greeting, hands resting on your hips for just a second before you're flopping onto the couch and getting comfy while waiting on him. Thank God he smoked before you showed up because it's helping to dull the nervous energy swimming in his chest. He hopes this doesn't fuck up your friendship cause he really does love having you around, he just can't keep living in this haze and hopes you understand. You're always so sweet and understanding of everything though...this should be fine.

He takes his usual spot next to you and throws on the first movie he sees cause he really isn't even paying attention, he couldn't even if he wanted to right now. You're no stranger to physical affection from him so his hand resting on your knee didn't feel out of place. It wasn't until his fingers were brushing under the hem of your shorts that you tilted your head over at him with a confused expression.

"You trust me, right?"

Of course? You always have, you've told him before. Why is he asking again? He keeps your legs spread with his arm as his fingers keep tracing circles against your hip under your shorts. He was silent for a bit before actually responding, which was a little out of character but the butterflies in your stomach kicking up were starting to muffle any of your thoughts. You've always found him attractive but that's your best friend, of course you find him pretty. He'd never want anything else to do with you that wasn't platonic. Right? His fingers brushing against the lace edge of your white panties is surely platonic.

your legs fall open when one slides off the couch and Ruby ofc takes this as an opportunity to take things further. You look so pretty like this, your eyes are glued to his face while his hands work on your lower half, he brushes his thumb over your clit through your panties and you yelp in suprise, grabbing his wrist to stop him. The feeling spread through your whole body like electricity, it wasn't something you were used to at all. You instantly started fumbling over your words explaining you've never done this before, no one's ever touched you this way, hell you hadn't even done it yourself. All of this information went straight to Ruby's cock. He knew you were inexperienced but this is a whole new level of purity to him, and he can't fucking wait to ruin you.

"'s fine baby you don't have to do anything but trust me. I'll make you feel good, promise."

He hooked his fingers around the waistband of your shorts and drug them down your legs with your panties leaving you completely bare for him. You hadn't done this before but you were fucking dripping for him in anticipation already (or nerves. Either way your heart was racing). He pulled the edge of his oversized shirt up your torso and had you hold it in your teeth to keep it out of the way, it was also a good way to muffle any of the sounds you were making. He'd never seen you completely naked so this was a fucking treat to him, he felt like a wolf staring down a lamb in the moment cause you looked beyond delicious in every way. He really couldn't deny himself a taste. Ruby used what little patience he had to tease you and really draw out the moment. The couch really didn't have much room so he took a spot on his knees on the floor and gripped your hips, adjusting you to face him with your legs wide open and shirt still caught between your teeth. He brushed his hands up and down your thighs a few times before spreading your pussy with his thumbs so he could get the best angle when he buried his face in it. Your back immediately arched off the couch and your hands flew to his hair, tangling in it and pulling harshly out of instinct. He groaned against you but didn't stop, licking wide stripes from your entrance back up to your clit repeatedly. God you were already trembling, he was gonna have so much fun with you.

you were already panting and whining just from his tongue but when he edged a single finger into you, your head falls back against the couch and you moan his name in such a pretty tone it has his cock twitching in his sweats. You were so tight around him he really worried if he'd even be able to fuck you tonight, he could make it fit one way or another though. Ruby was working another finger into you and pulled back to watch how you gripped him so fucking tight, he didn't leave you untouched though, his free hand rubbing slow circles against your clit that had you bucking almost involuntarily against him. Your thighs were shaking so bad when he hooked his fingers inside you to hit spots you didn't even know existed, he had your eyes rolling back so far into your skull you were dizzy. Ruby was nearly entranced by the whole ordeal, watching you literally drip down his fingers and wrist like a faucet. It's a shame no one else got to experience this first cause now there's no way he's ever letting someone else feel you, taste you, any of it. As far as he's concerned you're branded.

"Feels good, huh baby? Can't believe you've never done this. Gonna touch yourself thinkin' about me after we're done? Gonna call me and beg me to come fill this pussy up? Yeah?"

"Can't fuck you right till you cum on my fingers, don't wanna hurt you. You're almost there, just relax- fuck you're so tight-"

"Gonna fuckin ruin you for everyone else. You're mine."

Ruby presses a big hand to your lower stomach and you whimper like a dog, tears pricking the corners of your eyes. It felt like there was so much pressure inside you, it ran all the way up your spine and down your legs. He leaned back in to suck at your clit and you could barely catch your breath. The coil in your belly kept tightening until you were pulling at his hair and begging him for a break cause the feeling was so intense and foreign but he didn't stop cause he knew everything you didn't. You came around his fingers with nothing short of a scream, he figured his apartment neighbors would bitch at him and complain about the noise but he'd happily take a noise complaint if that means he can watch you convulse and sob through an orgasm he forced you through again. You were shaking and whimpering, hot tears running down your cheeks while he scissored his fingers inside you working you open and letting you enjoy the aftershocks in the moment. By then you figured you were done, nothing tops that right? Your head was laid back against the cushions and your eyes were closed while you tried to catch your breath but in Ruby's eyes you were barely even started. You only opened your eyes when you felt the tip of his cock slap against your clit making you jolt.

He was fucking huge, you thought his fingers were a stretch but this? He must be joking if he thinks that's gonna fit inside you. You whined about being sensitive and how he was too big but he was quick to reassure you he'd take care of you.

"Just the tip, I promise. You trust me right? You know I can make you feel good baby just let me-"

you hissed at the stretch when he slid in like he promised, he didn't even need extra lube cause you were still drenched from earlier. You couldn't help but squirm a little, the burn of overstimulating still very present at your core. Ruby was upholding his promise for now but fuck the way you gripped his cock and how warm and tight you felt around him, he definitely couldn't stand it for long. He tried to distract himself a little by letting his hands roam your body, fingers teasing your nipples until they were peaked and sore. He tried to fit another inch inside but you whined and pressed your hands against his chest to stop his movements, not that he could've moved much anyway with how tight you were, he's just running out of patience very quickly. He resorted to just rocking his hips slowly, pulling out entirely before just fitting the tip back in and it felt great but fuck it wasn't nearly enough.

Ruby's hand reached between you to tease your clit again, easing a little more of himself into you but was still met with whines and cries and squirming. He knows he promised it'd be just the tip but you can't blame him for breaking this single promise, right? Your whines were cut off when he pressed a hand over your mouth and you looked like a little deer in headlights in that moment which almost made him reconsider but fuck you'd forgive him later. You whined and near sobbed against his hand when he sank balls deep into you in a single thrust. You felt so fucking full you could barely move, the stretch caused an awful ache through your whole body but once you calmed down a little Ruby brushed his thumb over your bottom lip, letting it catch between your teeth and press against your tongue while he finally got to fuck you how he needed. He really tried to keep a slow rhythm but he couldn't stop himself from fucking into you like he was trying to split you in half, his arms tight around your legs to keep you steady. (Vis.)

you felt fucking divine around his cock, like you were made for him. He hoped he'd last longer but the way you gripped him was the end of him, he'd been aching while eating you out so of course he was already on edge. When he came he leaned over you, folding you nearly in half and you whimpered when you felt him nudge your cervix as he spilled into you enough to drip down your ass onto the couch beneath you. He'd clean it later. Right now he was more focused on feeling you cum around his cock, even though he'd already finished he felt like you deserved more for letting him fuck you like this. He pressed himself deep into you and started a fast pace rubbing circles on your clit until you were shaking and crying out his name in that pretty little tone of yours.

"G-good fucking girl- good girl- fuck baby that's it, that's good- cum for me again? Please you're so close, cum on my cock baby girl- let go"

You definitely followed his words cause you came so hard black spots flooded your whole field of view, you sank your nails into his wrist trying to steady yourself but your whole body felt like it was electrified. Ruby rocked his hips gently against yours to really draw the feeling out as he leaned down to press kisses to your jaw and cheek. He finally pulled out and sat back to watch his cum drip out of your abused hole, feeling satisfied with himself. You were fucking spent, panting and laying back on the couch with a sheen of sweat making your hair stick to your forehead and his shirt still tugged up to reveal your whole body to him. He'd stay in this moment for fucking ever If he could, but there's so much more he wants to do to you once you recover. He's got plenty to show you.

[nerdygoth77]

Some of my favorite Porter Gage lines!

“Keep your irradiated ASS away from me” 

“Boss”  

“Piss me off and I’ll still kick your ass from here to the Atlantic.” 

“Sure was fun! Huh Boss?” 

“I ain’t got the brains for mazes” 

“How's it go? “This town ain't big enough for you and me?” Awh nevermind :(“ 

“Ain't no way people paid for this shit, I refuse to believe it.” 

“Who the hell's idea of fun was this shit?”

“Ever feel the tiniest bit hurt that the institute hasn’t tried to replace you with a synth? I mean c’mon! I’m important. I-I’m worth replacing......” 

“Think about it…. If beer is still good after two hundred years.. Is it really something worth drinking?” 

“Personally, wouldn’t ever trust anyone to knock me out with gas or whatever, even if they claimed they were going to help.” 

“Can you imagine… having so much extra shit you’d need someplace to store it all” 

“Not paying ATTENTION-” (I fuck up a lot and trigger traps LOL)

“Not a big fan of being underground, so the sooner we wrap this up the better.” 

“Once upon a time, I suppose folks had nothing better to do than sit around outside”

“Greeaaat, because I ain’t seen enough trees and grass.” 

“Like I hadn’t already seen enough glowing shit to last a lifetime.” 

“Believe it or not, this is more civilized than some places i've lived”

"One of these bugs ever takes me down you tell people I died from trippin’ over my gun, fallin’ off a cliff, anything! It would be less embarrassing.” 

“Places like this….Makes me realize life was mostly shit before the bombs fell” 

“God…. Being in here is soul sucking.” 

“I hope you know where you’re going, I forgot my map.” 

“Least we ain't gotta worry about being hit by a train…..Right?”

“No question that shit was made to last…Maybe the wrong shit but still.”

“Me? I like night time. Something about it just feels right.” 

“You’re a real stunner, ya know that?”

“Are you shittin’ me” 

“Ever seen a dust angel? Bettin’ I could make one.” 

“Shiiiiitt I hate getting weeettt” 

“I’ve got a strong stomach, but ewwugh.” 

“You’re my kind of crazy boss.” 

“Boy do I love watching you work.” 

“Anyone ever tell you….your ass looks great in that vault suit.” 

“Don’t know about you, but I can’t see in the dark.” 

“You’ll always be the overboss of my heart- Hehehehe I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t keep a straight face.”

“Blamo” 

“Sheeeeeettt” 

“Don't mind me, just throwing up a bit in my mouth here.” 

“Damn, I hate insects. Like I needed something else to wipe off my fucking shoes” 

“VerMIN”

Everything. Just everything he says is wonderful. His voice is so fucking sexy.

"I'm not that big of a dick"

"Bullshit. Without me I'd be scraping your guts off the floor"

"Before you start pissing all over the plan, why don't you take a minute to hear me out."

"You ready to listen?"

"You're one ruthless son of a bitch aren't ya?"

"Awwwhh C'mon :("

"Just give this a chance, you might even have a little fun."

"Tell yuh whut."

"Everything all peachy with our friendly neighborhood psychopaths?"

"Welcome home, boss."

"I knew you had it in you."

"Next, the fun stuff."

"You look like shit."

He refers to getting high as "Getting blitz." LOL

"Well that oughta make things more interesting"

"hehehe OOPS."

"The fun we can have in this thing!"

"That one have pictures in it?"

"I like a good haul as much as the next guy-"

"You sure you got everything? There's a few more rocks you haven't picked up."

"I never had the hands for that kind of shit. Glad you do."

"You got some nimble fingers there huh?"

"You okay?" (When he shows concern?? UGH)

"Well now, would you look at that."

"Oh for the love of-"

"You gonna build me something nice?"

"Lookin good, Boss."

"oooh, gutsy."

"Pretty tough mutt you got there." (Any dialogue about Dogmeat is great)

"Aww, look at how nice and clean this is, and I here am, dirtying the place up." (one of my favorites)

There's so so many more but I didn't want this to get crazy long

[circyexistforcontent]

The boys with a succubus/incubus god?

CULT AU WITH A DEMON READER

❀ synopsis: “And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light.” 2 CORINTHIANS 11:14

❀ warnings: slight suggestive content, biblical themes, cult themes, yandere themes, just dark content ahead. Remember you're trespassing on big boy/girl/kid territory, so just be aware of what you're reading ok?

❀ notes: This will contain a lot of dark themes since this is a cult AU and Sagau. But again, thank you all for 400 followers! I don't know how to thank you all (maybe I do, I want to start a event, but let me clear my inbox real quick). spoilers for genshin lore guys...

Being summoned to another world is...certainly interesting...

You didn't expect the moment you open your eyes to be greeted with such colorful characters, and in an RPG game no less. But you aren't complaining of course! This just makes things more entertaining for your part. And being worshipped as a god? This is an entire amusement park!

Your poor, poor acolytes...they have no idea what they have just brought upon this world. If you really were the creator of all no wonder Celestia decided to just one day order the archons to commit genocide. Your influence must have also greatly affected your creations which can explain why some of your acolytes have a questionable history.

Being in your presence just heightens their obsessive tendencies, if they weren't the type to hesitate to kill for you they sure aren't hesitating now. Some might even go as far as to kill in public in front of other devotees. It doesn't matter if it's supposed to be a joyous occasion, you were in danger (or at least they try to justify their actions..) and as your devoted acolyte, they should protect you. (Shenhe, Traveler, Heizou, and Childe)

There are already ones that kill for you, but with your dark influence, they start to get a little bolder with their feelings. It would just start with lingering thoughts of your touch before it gets more provocative and they start imagining it more often. If they were brave enough, they would think about it while you were still in the same room as them. How sinful, but you don't mind♡ (Cyno, Gorou, Ei, and Zhongli)

They are the ones who know something was wrong with the supposed "Almighty one". They can just sense that something was not right and will immediately distance themselves from you as much as it hurts them too. They would observe you from afar to confirm any of their claims, but it backfires. Your voice is one of a siren, and like a pirate, they follow your voice only to be drowned in the very ocean they loved. But they didn't know drowning in the ocean can be this...euphoric (Dainslef, Venti, Ayaka, Kazuha)

This batch has more control over their yandere tendencies, but their acts of worship intensify. Festivals/Holidays will be hosted by them, and while some of them don't have the influence and money to host an event they will be helping with the preparations for the event (Jean, Noelle, Ayato, Ningguang, Diluc)

They will worship you, but some may take a step back after seeing you out of character. You were always so considerate and kind, they didn't think you would order them to draw your symbol with the khanreian's hilichurls blood. At the end of the day, they will still do what you please in hopes you will have a reward for them.

If you have any features from your demon form (slit pupils, horns, claws, sharp teeth, wings, etc) they won't think anything ill of them. If anything some would adore them openly. Dragons exist, and hybrids aren't uncommon on Teyvat. They would assume you might be a hybrid of a greater celestial species, and it would have many legends based off of it. The acolytes that have horns or any sort of similar feature would feel connected to you in a way and are honored to even have something in common with you.

But no matter how they claim to adore you or how honored they are to worship you, they can feel themselves hurl at your mere presence. Some even feel ill when they stay beside you for too long, and they would assume they are being punished. Or you are feeling negative and one of your powers is to project your emotions onto the environment around you.

But is it really? You have the same smile on your face while they choke on their own blood. You laugh at them after they confess to you about the night terrors that they get every time they spend a day with you. You left them to die after you "trained" them to get stronger.

They are foolish to convince themselves that you care, but some like to believe that you are doing this cause you care for them, how pitiful of them. I'm going to give an example, Venti would try to argue with you if you ever try to spur trouble on Monstadt, saying how it's not right and that the people should have a say in your decision. But after hours of gaslighting convincing he would shut his mouth as you declare a new law that restricts basic human rights. His people will understand, this is normal for sure...right?

The other archons like Ei and Zhongli, mostly Ei, will not think twice about your new changes in their nation. Nahida would be the ONLY normal archon who would know that you are no god. You're just a poser, a demon, a vermin from the underworld taking advantage of your follower's obsession. She will try her best to make her nation aware of who you really are, but what's the guarantee they will listen to her?

[aziraphales-library]

Hello dear mods!! This is kind of a random, oddly specific ask but do you have any fics where one of our lovely Ineffable Husbands uses really cheesy pickup lines?

I’m a sucker for cheesy pickup lines, and I’ve come across one or two in the wilds of ao3 and they were hilarious and adorable.

Human au/other aus or just regular Angel and Demon are perfectly fine!! Thank you!! <3

Hey! Here are some fics with pick up lines for you...

If I told you you had a nice body, would you hold it against me? by involuntaryorange (T)

After several months of mounting frustration, Crowley turns to the internet. Humans seem to have figured out relationships, he reasons; or, at least, they’ve figured out how to get into them, and that’s the part he needs help with. An hour of googling and two rather nice bottles of pinot noir later, he has a plan. a.k.a. the one where Crowley decides to try out some pick-up lines.

Did it hurt? by madlysanecatlady (T)

An exercise in shitty pickup lines.

do him! by orphan_account (T)

Crowley is an astronomer who does a side gig as a stand-up comedian on Fridays. One Friday he sets out to introduce a new segment to his routine, a bit where he makes fun of the audience's expense. Though when he's asked to make fun of a gorgeous man, he says something brash and regrets it, and then later goes to introduce himself and apologize to the kind man. - “Hello there!” Crowley said, chastising himself for being too loud when the man jumped. “Oh, hello. Er, may I help you?” The man said. “Uh, yeah. I’m Crowley.” He said, reaching his hand out to shake. “Aziraphale,” the man said, taking it. “I just wanted to apologize for making that joke, it was wrong of me to cross a boundary like that. I was simply caught in the moment and I thought you looked pretty. I didn’t mean to make you so uncomfortable that you had to run out.” Crowley said.

Wingman by writeonclara (T)

“Do you understand what will happen to you if you don’t smash your demon buddy? And since you’re”—Gabriel paused to search for the proper adjective to encompass all of Aziraphale’s Aziraphaleness, then settled on—“you, God commanded me to help you. And buddy, you need all the help you can get.” Or: Gabriel’s assigned to be wingman for Aziraphale to keep him from Falling. He’s about as good at it as you’d imagine.

The Pumpkin Patch by AppleSeeds (T)

Aziraphale visits a pumpkin patch and meets Crowley, a farmer with a fondness for cheesy seasonal pick-up lines. After a while, he starts to get the impression that Crowley might actually be flirting with him, and tries to work up the courage to reciprocate.

The Steps to Courting an Angel by ReginaPapilio (G)

Crowley entrusts his love life to a "Love Guide" upon finding it in Aziraphale's bookshop. Now he just needs to follow it until the angel is finally his, but things don't go his way that easily.

One Night In Bangor (And the World's Your Oyster) by Atalan (E)

"All right, I know I'm going to regret asking this," Aziraphale says. "What exactly does this wager entail?" Crowley grins like the cat that not only got the cream but has absconded with the entire cow. He grabs the bottle and swigs straight from it despite Aziraphale's tut of disapproval.  "The pot goes to whichever demon can get an angel into bed by the end of the evening."  AKA The Fic That Tumblr Made Me Write. Heaven and Hell share a corporate party once per millennium. This time someone's had the bright idea of issuing a challenge to the demons of Hell. Crowley has no intention of missing the opportunity; Aziraphale's just enough of a bastard to make him work for it.

- Mod D

[wannab-urs]

Pedro Pascal Character Fic Recs | Vol 38

AO3 | Kofi | Main Masterlist | The Spreadsheet Masterlist

Howdy folks!

The Spreadsheet is back! Welcome to my not-so-weekly fic rec list. This is everything I've read since the last time I did this (I think). They're in alphabetical order (I think) by Pedro Boy.

I'm being even more lazy than I usually am and not including the tags, just the summaries, so be careful and look at the tags! Any commentary from me is in green.

Sight - a Dave one shot by @goodwithcheese - A surveillance job offers Dave a distraction. - there are other one shots in this universe I also highly recommend. You can find them >here<

Forget My Charms - a Dave one shot by @joelscruff - your new boss gives you a memorable first day

Work Song- a Dave one shot by @eupheme - Work Song + Dave York - this was for my hozier drabble challenge and it's so good!!

Sedated - a Dave one shot by @luxurychristmaspudding - you and dave are no strangers to this business, to death. so there can be no harm in relying on each other in times of need.

Hold Please - a Dave/Javi P/ Marcus P series by @ghostofaboy - Dave decides to arrange a little get-together for him, Javier and Marcus. - m/m/m!!!

Memories - a Dieter one shot by @bitchesuntitled - What happens when your husband, Dieter, forgets who you are?

You're the Loss of My Life - a Din one shot by @beskarandblasters - You reminisce on your time with your riduur after his death. - ow

[Sin]ema - a Frankie one shot by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin - You are unhappy in your marriage but trying to hang on. When you ask your husband to spend more time with you, he thinks a movie date is in order. You don't expect to run into your ex fiance, Frankie, and his new wife there.

Sun to Me - a Javi P one shot by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin - Javi wakes up early to do chores, but can’t peel himself away from you just yet.

Sunlight - a Joel one shot by @lotusbxtch - Joel Miller has avoided love, pushed it away at the first sight to stay in the darkness. But then he meets you, and he wonders if he was wrong after all.

the harder the rain, the sweeter the sun - a Joel one shot by @proxima-writes - Storm chaser-turned-weatherman Joel Miller hunts down his old crew in an effort to serve his wife with divorce papers. When a storm interrupts his efforts, he finds himself falling back into old routines and old feelings. A Twister (1996) AU

Delicate - a Joel one shot by @beskarandblasters - You play with Joel’s hair during a moment of anguish.

Pull - a Joel one shot by @javier-pena - You discover something new about Joel.

Should've Stayed Bored - a Joel one shot by @pedroshotwifey - You really need to learn to lower your expectations. - this fic is hilarious

Nephilim - a Joel series by @cherubispunk - Joel Miller was something of a biblical figure to you. A small glimpse into the past of something archaic, untold, and harbouring on the dangerous. You liked to imagine him as one of the Nephilim. A son of god, offspring borne of a fallen angel and man. A giant of misunderstood nature. Who’s soul had been cast down on earth in punishment. His large hands had bloodshed on them, or so people had said. They whispered it quietly in the spaces between. The places he didn’t occupy often. But he was always on your mind…so there was no place for those whispers there.

Nicest Thing - a Joel series by @schnarfer - Let's fall madly in love with neighbour!Joel

Observations - Joel one shot by @ezrasbirdie - You're not like the other girls, but it'd be easier if you were. Joel Miller doesn't see it that way. - neurodivergent reader!!!

God is a Woman - Max Phillips one shot by @wheresarizona - Max Phillips has been trying to fuck you since the moment you met. It surprises him when you want to fuck him. (Or pegging Max Phillips) - y'all already know how i feel about pegging fics.

It Will Come Back - a Max Phillips one shot by @beskarandblasters - Against your better judgment, you let Max drink your blood. - another amazing entry for my hozier drabble challenge!

Happy Reading!

[bunny-queen]

you can be you

hey babes, long post ahead

i've felt for a long time since entering the LOA community that there's a lot of pressure on everyone who knows how to conciously manifest

it seems like after you grasp that YOU are the creator of your reality and that YOU can do literally anything you want, almost everyone expects us to want 'big' things

by big i mean mansions, resort trips, a sports car, a new phone, a celebrity SP, being a public figure, being a millionaire... this kind of life

and although there's nothing wrong with living like that, or wanting to live like that, it's perfectly fine if it's not your dream life

edward art says in one of his reddit posts (remind me to link it here later) that if you somehow aren't manifesting X thing, it might be because......... it's not what you actually want

you may have convinced yourself that you SHOULD want that thing, but deep down, you feel indifferent towards it. you don't think about it a lot, you don't imagine yourself being happy with the thing, you don't lie in bed daydreaming about it. and eventually you realize it might not be coming into the 3D

this has definitely happened to me before. i had spent MONTHS affirming and listening to subliminals for my ideal face, but i had little to no results in the material world, and i could not for the life of me figure out what i was doing wrong

you guessed it: i wasn't doing anything wrong. but social media LOA comms had eventually convinced me that kpop idols are the epitome of beauty, and that any east asian should be manifesting to be a carbon copy. i saw that, thought 'hm, alright' and proceeded to frustrate myself endlessly trying to manifest something i didn't even want. a year later, here i am, realizing i like my current face better than any idol's out there, and that's why i didn't get results

and it happened yet again regarding my college applications and entrance exams. because people on this hellsite are constantly encouraging others to go directly to the end, i thought 'ah, i should manifest that i've ALREADY passed, then. that i don't even need to take the exam'

so i did it, i affirmed, i meditated, yadda yadda, and made myself MISERABLE. bc apparently i like to study, and i'm excited to take the exam! doing this way might not be the most straightfoward way, but it's what i want. i *want* this experience

long ass post but the moral of the story is that: just bc you know about the law, it doesn't mean you put on a show about your desires. you don't need to manifest 10 billion dollars just to show an imaginary audience that you can. just to post it on tumblr. you don't need to manifest a mansion in LA just bc that is the type of success story that gets the most likes

you're allowed to still want a quiet, simple life, even if you're God. you're allowed to not care about new phones, new clothes, and instead manifest more crochet yarn, and that the weather's good everyday. you're allowed to be happy with yourself and not want to lose/gain weight, change your height, your eye color, or any other features. you're allowed to want to be a normal college kid, and not a victorias secrets angel. it's okay to be you

[chrollo-lucilfers-chains]

Chrollo x gn!reader

His s/o gets taken.

Warnings: Kidnapping (it's not Chrollo tho), murder

Part 1

It has happened.

Chrollo hadn't thought this day would come, especially not so soon. But it had come and he hadn't been prepared.

He's in the middle of finishing someone off when you call him.

Standing on a balcony, the wind blowing strongly so far up, he holds a trembling man by his neck. The man is an unimportant informant of the government and he'd been involved in the troupe's latest heist so he has to be disposed of.

Chrollo has him dangling over the balcony's edge, desperately pleading at him to spare his life.

Without any expression Chrollo ends his victims miserable suffering with a snap of the wrist and lets him fall, pulling out his phone instead. Why would you call him, especially in the middle of the night?

He's told you to never interrupt him with unnecessary calls before. Given, it had been under the pretense of potential interruptions of his 'job', which wasn't really wrong but it didn't give you a lot of information either. You'd understood, of course.

To see your caller ID on his screen now alerted him greatly and so he picked up with a short 'Yes?' only to get interrupted by your strangely hushed voice.

"Chrollo? Oh thank God, it was the right number. I'm sorry to call you this late but I didn't know who else to call! There is someone in my house."

Chrollo's blood runs cold, his face hardening.

"I don't know what they want but there's three or four of them and they're searching for me. I'm hiding in the closet but I don't know how long it takes till they find me!"

He gives a meaningful glance to Pakunoda.

"Shh, calm down, it's going to be okay, angel!", he shushes you in the faked, softer voice that he uses with you so often, not wanting the noise of your whispers to alert your intruders.

His eyes flicker over to Pakunoda who immediately nods and leaves the room in a hurry.

"I'm coming to get you, okay? I'll be there as soon as I can. I'm on my way."

Chrollo stays on the phone as he rushes down the halls. When he reaches Pakunoda, who's already pulled up a car, he gets in and they speed into the night.

In the silent car he can hear your voice clearer than before. No nightbreeze is lashing around him and so he hears the quiet sobs. You're crying, Chrollo notes with displeasure.

"I think they're getting closer, Chrollo. I'm scared", you whimper, your voice clearly trembling.

Chrollo clenches his jaw and closes his eyes.

Six minutes until he'll arrive.

As he focuses on forming a plan how to get you out without alerting the intruders your voice sounds through the phone in a desperate whisper.

"They're infront of the closet!", Chrollo listens as you hold your breath. Everything is silent until a voice cuts through the speakers.

"Well hello there, princess!"

You let out a hitched breath. "Plea- Please, I don't know what you want but just leave, I don't have anything to steal!!"

"Heh, agree to disagre- Wait, is that a phone?"

Chrollo can make out commotion on the other side of the connection. He imagines you holding on to the phone, not daring to let go. Then he hears a scream. Your scream, to be exact and his eyes flash open with rage. Did the guy just hit you?!

There are a few wimpers and then the connection turns silent.

Chrollo ends the call and takes a deep breath as he composes himself. He sits silently in the car, his face mimicking that of a corpse. Shalnark already accessed the needed data and cameras to know where they've taken you. Pakunoda and Nobunaga are now with their boss, on their way to your location.

In the silence of the car Chrollo thinks about you and the person you are, always so ready to give everything. So eager to help him with whatever he needs.

And he takes it. He takes without a concern in the world.

All the years of being starved of human kindness and touch seem to be melting away whenever he's with you, sinking into your warm embrace when you hold him like he could slip away any moment.

His eyes flicker between the buildings passing by. The moonlit night makes it harder to discern them from one another and paints them in a cold light

Somebody is going to die tonight.

[chaifootsteps]

Oh my god, finally! I've been wanting to post here for a few days.

I'm the author of that infamous fanfic. And I wanted to say, unrelated to Hazbin, that the documentary and Drake's story, coupled with his new music video "I Kinda Relate" is the most heartbreaking and empowering thing I've ever seen. I bawled my eyes out the entire day that I found it.

In the first 28 seconds, Drake heavily implies, but doesn't show, his abuse that he suffered at the hands of his rapist, Brian Peck (who also was penpals with none other than John Wayne Gacy.)

I wanted to do nothing but hug that poor little boy, and to hug the man he is now. I want to tell him that he's beautiful and strong and brave for coming out. Male CSA victims rarely ever do. Could you imagine telling Drake then or now, that he's a *loser*? Could you imagine going about his abuse the way Viv did with Husk and Angel? He literally made his own music video that was much more tactful and empowering than Loser Baby ever will be.

I also have dirt on Dan S and that whole fucking pedo ring (I know a LOT of people in this industry. I also helped take down an ACTUAL ZOO AND PEDOPHILE with a decent amount of power a few years back.) And for anyone still confused about Drake, the girl he messaged lied about her age and he never did anything physical with her. He still acknowledges he's fucked up (please watch his hour long interview and music video) but he's "bound to make it right".

I also just want to say, to a CERTAIN PERSON, that comparing the objectively fetishisized abuse (I'm a CSA victim and into noncon), to fucking SEX ED FOR CHILDREN, is the absolute most fucking garbage and vile take I've ever seen. Poison is NOT educational. It is fetish content for Viv and Raph and others like them. If survivors and fans can turn something objectively negative into something subjectively positive, all the power to them.

Again, into noncon and a CSA victim. I also don't want to see stans taking this and telling me I'm invalid for critiquing Viv and Raph (already dealt with that in my damn fic.) I have been raped/sexually assaulted/groomed/groped/strangled/pinned down/dragged around as a child and NO ONE is ever going to tell me I'm a hypocrite or that I'm wrong for my feelings on this issue. Especially when I also have friends and my own mother as SA and CSA victims as well.

Someone like myself, or like Drake Bell, do NOT need to see how explicitly horrid our abuse was/is to understand how bad it is. I personally had panic attacks watching the episode, and having the knowledge of Raph being an unapologetic rape fetishist, was all I needed to know that that entire episode was fetish content. It's basically an adaptation of Raph's Red Smoke comic. Nearly word for word too. I've written and consumed so many stories over the years to know exactly what's going in their heads.

You know how you actually help a victim? You have friends and family and a therapist help you get out of that situation. Husk "helping" Angel was not the way to go about it.

And I've seen fans argue whether or not Viv is a rape fetishist (she is), but if she wasn't, why is she so adamant on keeping an unapologetic rape fetishist on her staff? He's confirmed to be working on season 2 (God I'm gagging thinking about it) and why does she like so much art (no hate to the artists) of sexy, fetishisized, hot, and sad art of Valentino? If he's supposedly based off HER abusive experience, why does she coddle, woobify, and downplay and sexualize him so much??? I wouldn't base a rapist character or write a rapist character as a fucking "high school Mean girl".

I'm sorry this got so long, but fuck man... it's so fucking disgusting.

Anyways, please watch this. It's got more tact and heart than fucking Poison will ever have. Drake Bell, my heart goes out to you. CSA victim to CSA victim. I hope you get better and can heal. And that goes for all victims as well. 💜🫂 (You too, Chai.)

And Brian Peck, and any and all other rapists, can burn alive in a grease fire. Val included.

https://youtu.be/I5gh8rAVLkI?si=B2eny2U4GZRgDZ7t

https://youtu.be/nSzk-MsVKqA?si=6D4rEihu89Yom7YG

Well said as always, Anon, and thank you for this.

Also, definitely seconding Brian Peck burning up in a grease fire.

[97keanu]

"ʸᵒᵘ ᵃʳᵉ ᵐʸ ᵃⁿᵍᵉˡ

ᶜᵒᵐᵉ ᶠʳᵒᵐ ʷᵃʸ ᵃᵇᵒᵛᵉ

ᵗᵒ ᵍⁱᵛᵉ ᵐᵉ ˡᵒᵛᵉ"

Neo x goth! hacker!Reader

***read the revised edition here!

Premise: In our second chapter, reader finally meets who's been stealing all her clients, and to her dismay, he's actually really cute. That's going to make disliking him and working with him harder if she can't get her thoughts out of the gutter. Neo, on the other hand is battling his fetishes, playing peeping tom and having a little me time in the shower. Will you two be able to meet each other successfully and start an alliance, or was it doomed from the start?

Tags/CW: loser!neo, perv!neo, don't get me wrong he can still be suave, its just that his thoughts are utterly filthy for what he wants to do to you, obsessive!neo, prematrix/no matrix, y2k mall goth!reader, themes of loneliness, starts to get spicy, masturbation (neo), masturbating where you shouldn't(neo), looking into unknowing girls windows (also neo), age difference(23/35), mutual pining and hiding of said pining, mentions of aggressive oral, hair pulling, somewhat darkfic, dark topics and love likely to be discussed, dom!neo, switch!reader, brat!reader, and any other tags in the first chapter.

A/N: Neo is going to seem so much more confident and scary to reader upon first meeting, but I promise you underneath all that he's a total nerd who still hasn't had a girlfriend, though that does fuel his more aggressive and kinky nature, so still expect him to dom! In the bedroom.

First chapter here. Read part three here. AO3 link here

Words: 5.6k

Neo hates to admit it, but he left your picture up on his computer for the rest of the night. At first, your ghostly pixelated image made him feel strange, to say the least. Accompanying the fact that you were essentially proposing to watch over him, to make sure he didn't leave any back doors open when hacking, Neo began to sleep, images of you as his guardian Angel finding their way into his fleeting thoughts of restless sleep.  When he awoke late the next day, he was sweating once again. The hot Chicago summer was droning on, the early season when it's just deciding to heat up was long gone and replaced with humid, sweltering days. Neo could hardly stand it, and opted for a shower, his body sticking to his clothes as he took them off and tossed them on the bathroom floor.  As the cool water hit his body, he began to think of you again. He imaged your pretty little face, you had to be younger than him, that much was obvious. Your dark hair, pitch black as your clothes and makeup. Under the stream of the shower head, Neo found himself imagining you in ways he would feel guilty about afterwards. 

He imagines you, in the shower with him, your hands gently cascading down his body, coming to rest right before his hard cock. You look up at him, your makeup starting to fall from the water, and your lipstick leaving rings on his cock when you start sucking him off. Neo practically groans out from the thought, his hand keeping pace on his own cock while he imagines that it's your mouth inside, soft, wet, and warm. He can only imagine what it would be like for you to encompass his cock with your perfect, cute mouth. Fuck. He can barely keep himself from cumming right now, the idea is so sexy. 

What really gets him over the edge is imagining taking your hair in his hands and gripping it enough that you cry out, and when you do he's pumping his cock into your mouth harder than before. His muscles tense in the shower, even just the thought of being so aggressive with you igniting every muscle in his body. He continues to think of you choking in his cock, maybe even pulling you off for air, and you begging for more while your goth makeup is dripping down your cheeks. Oh God…He's going to cum.

Neo finishes in his shower, his husky groans escaping finally, and his back finding the cool tile of the shower wall for support.

"Fuck…" He whispers out to the lonely shower, a bit of clarity coming to him as he realizes with embarrassment just how lonely he has been. That along with this trance you've put him in leave him feeling totally guilty. He's just some 30 year old loser who has a kink of chicks in black makeup, he really should be able to control himself. Meeting you shouldn't have any ulterior motives of lust, but he can't hardly stop himself. 

He gets out of the shower and tries to wipe off shame with a fluffy white towel, frustrated that his body doesn't feel any less hot than before but it's not the summer heat that's getting to him anymore. No, it's you. And he has to be able to contain himself tonight when he meets you at the…what was it again? Some goth club from what he researched last night, no surprise there. 

God, Neo's afraid he won't be able to help himself from popping a boner when he finally sees you in person. If your profile picture has this much of a hold on him, then he's worried what will happen when he really gets to meet you. Maybe he'll get lucky, and it'll turn out you're actually a total catfish, and some other lonely loser like him. At least then he can laugh in your face and leave. Go back to his typical solitary existence. 

A part of him aches at the thought all the while. If it's not what you actually look like, the fact that he just jerked off to you is all the more shameful. And, as much as he doesn't wish to admit, he would be highly disappointed. 

Neo finishes up redressing, opening the window to his apartment to let some air in. He looks back out and sees the same little apartment he saw the last intriguing girl in. She's in there now, and from the looks of it, he thinks she's…trying on different clothes? He can barely see what she's wearing from here, but he can definitely tell when her body is bare of anything, becoming all one color besides a splash of dark hair. Just the idea of making out this unknowing neighbor's curves and ass has Neo hard again. He really is a pervert, huh? 

He can hardly tear his eyes away, and the only reason he isn't throwing his left hand into his pants again is he knows that he likely won't be able to finish after doing it again so soon. He's almost jealous that he didn't get to sit here, staring out his window at the unsuspecting woman, freely looking at her in such a vulnerable state, pleasuring himself. He has a secret hope that maybe some other time, he'll be able to. 

For now, he turns from the window and begins to psyche himself up for meeting you tonight.

✧✧✧

It's late, but it's the time you asked to see Neo. Everything works better under nights mask. You can imagine more. A fairytale can become real under the night sky if told to the right person. You hope you can actually get to work with this Neo guy. You know that your work has been so little lately. so this would really help you out. But you also know that you've dreamed of Neo all this morning, the image of his striking brown eyes drifting through your mind. The worst part was that some of those dreams were less than innocent in nature. The most vivid is seeing his eyes look up at you from between your thighs…

No, you don't need to think of that right now. He's late and could be escorted to your booth any minute. You currently sit in the red velvet lined booth, large dark curtains enclosing it, making it a safe zone for a meeting. You spent a chunk of the afternoon, worrying about what you would wear, dressing and undressing for well over an hour. You finally decided on a sleeveless dress, its top corseted, embellished with fancy black and purple lace. You chose a short black mini skirt to go along with it, and of course one of your favorite pairs of platform chunky heels. You fit in well with the rest of the club goers of Club Hel. You wonder how Neo will feel, seeing you are so much like his dirty little hidden porn folder. That shouldn't matter, this should be a business deal, but it does matter. Somehow, you know in your heart, and your occasionally aching pussy, that you want Neo to want you. It would be so satisfying to know that this nerdy hacker is thirsting after you. Plus it would be less embarrassing that you want him…

Just as you think he's not coming, black manicured nails playing with some drink named after 'bloody' this or that, the heavy curtain is pulled back. The familiar face of one of the usual workers dips in, nodding in another party member. 

It's him.

You're breath catches, and you're surprised. He has on a long, black trench coat. Black clothes underneath that you can't see very well. His hair looks darker, actually, it's gelled back you notice. He isn't someone who looks as goth as the rest of the patrons here, but he doesn't stand out either. You're really taken back by how sexy he is, not like the computer dork you thought he would turn out to be.

From the look on his face, he's surprised to see you too. You can see his dark eyes looking over your body, he even pauses on your breasts, which are accentuated by the low cut and tight corset. You can feel heat rising to you cheeks even though you curse yourself internally for it. You open your glossy. black lipsticked mouth to speak, but he beats you to it. 

"NightShade, I presume?" His voice is more masculine than you thought it would be. You're stunned for a second by him, , and realize how childish it makes you seem that you're just staring at him. You also realize you never told him your real name, so you begin to blabber it out, before he stops you. 

"We better stick to our code names. As you know, I go by Neo." He says and sits across from you at the booth. You feel stupid for blurting half of your real name out like that, and know he's right. It's dangerous to even be meeting in person like this. A tiny voice in your head is disappointed you couldn't be known by him as your true self. Not just an alter ego…

"You're right, I'm sorry. NightShade it is." You say with a nervous nod. Neo is so hard to read. Besides the initial surprise when he first walked in, he now seems as expressionless as a statue. Adding all the more allure to your already dirty mind about him. 

"Well, it's good to finally meet you." Neo responds, and for some reason, you get the oddest feeling from the way his eyes look at you. It's as if he's trying to communicate something wordlessly straight to your soul. You can't tell if it's want that fuels it, or something else, but from the way he looked over your body earlier, you wonder if he liked what he saw.  "You as well. Have you thought any more about what I had proposed?" You gently lift your cocktail to your lips, and softly sip the blood red liquid, your lipstick leaving an imprint of your lips. You wonder what your kisses would look like trailing up Neo's pale neck… "Yes, I have. And as much as it pains me to say it," Neo says with a chuckle, the way he talks and his age advantage over you seems like he's in much more control here than you are. Somehow the idea of him dominating this conversation turns you on, you glance at his large hands on the table, and wonder what those hands would look like on your body, especially around your pretty little throat. You're distracted from what he's saying, he says something stronger in tone and you snap back to those endless seas of black that are his eyes right now.  "I think it would be advantageous for us to work together. It's clearly not safe for me to continue to work alone if I can't keep my own ass covered. I'd like it if you could help with that." Despite Neo's words clearly asking for your help, you didn't feel as if you were the one with any power here. Somehow, you feel like the fly who's wandered into the spider's web. The question now is how far will you dip your little legs into it, dear fly? "I…would very much like that." You say, your voice feeling small, hoping you're heard over the loud club music downstairs. "I would like to split the profits however…"  You add the last part, taking some great confidence that you only seem to find when you're talking online. Neo laughs a little and you worry he is unimpressed by you worrying about money.  "That will be no issue, I don't mind paying you for your…services…" When he says that last word, those dark eyes trail over your body once more, and you can't help but wonder the implications of what he's saying. "I think we could really start to corner this part of town for black market information…" Something about Neo's attitude puts a chill up your spine, and a heat between your thighs. You can't help yourself, the thought of going back to your apartment after this, alone once more, is too much for you to bear. You want to be acquainted with Neo, the little voice in your head knows you've tossed the thought of something more around a few times in just this conversation. There's something dangerous about Neo, you can't tell what it is about him, but it makes you want to uncover it, find out what his code is hiding, so to say.  "I have to agree. How do you want to go about this? We can work mainly from our own stations, or…?" You begin, trying to drive your thoughts to stay on topic, work out the kinks of this budding relationship between you two.  "I think that will happen for some of the time, but I'm still going to need to give you physical copies of some of the files, and I don't trust much besides meeting up to exchange those hand to hand." Neo seems to have thought over this enough, he's also very cautious. His reserved, quiet, and dark demeanor is so hard for you to understand. If he was as cool as he seems right now, shouldn't he be able to handle himself? It's interesting to you that he needs help from someone ten years younger like you. 

"That…makes sense." You nod along. "Maybe a weekly coffee date is in store…?" You say nonchalantly, not realizing you've used the word 'date'. Neo's eyes light up with something, was that a hint of desperation? It's as if you've looked past this cool exterior of a mask he has on and glimpsed into the want that he's hiding. So it's not just you who feels this pull? "A date…?" Neo's voice has lost the suaveness from before, now husky with need. You wonder briefly when the last time he has a date was based on this. Is he really, secretly the computer nerd you envisioned him to be? His cold and calculated behavior is slipping.  "Why…?" Your voice comes out slyly, you can't help yourself. "Would you like that?"  You tease him, your brattiness coming out, your dark makeup giving you a more sinister glance his way.  "N-No…" He starts, clearing his throat and glancing away. There's the dork inside of him. "I mean, we should definitely have meetings, yes. I just don't want the wrong idea…" He says the last sentence softly, almost as if he doesn't want you to hear, or perhaps mention it. But you're suddenly in a mood, the little fly who likes to fight back.  "The wrong idea about what?" You lean over the table with a grin, your breasts pressing out of your top as you do so. Of course, Neo's eyes flash there and he is obviously kicking himself for it. "Has something transpired within you that I don't know about, Neo?"

You can't believe how bold you're being, but the way he's now clearly squirming from your questions makes you feel more in control at the moment.  "Nothing, but an interest in…" Neo drags his eyes away from your chest and continues. "In working together." You laugh a little, but back off.  "Alright, well. Why don't you inform me on what you're working on now?" You smile, eager to begin working with this fascinating man. You feel more alive than you have in a long time, your suffocating bedroom being much of your world lately. This is exciting, and the pull you feel for Neo is undeniable. You wonder if he feels the same. Maybe you could come up with something mutually beneficial, besides working together. "Well, currently I have some local gang members who want info from rivals who have been using an online chatroom to communicate." Neo seems relieved to get back to work talk, the stoic, quiet side of him settling back in.  "That's not very smart of the rival gang…" You mention, but nod for him to continue.  "It's not, no. But I think they have a resident coder because the chatrooms are locked up pretty tight. I wonder if any of them are secretly government…but who knows." Neo is being very kind to share this information, he must trust you enough right now to let you in, as well as coming to a commitment to your partnership. You almost bite your lip with glee over that revelation, but stop yourself. "Interesting, I should probably work alongside you to keep you covered then. If any of them are undercovers, we don't want them noticing us in the process." Neo seems impressed by your words.  "Exactly. You're uh, pretty good at this for your age." He comments, acknowledging your age differences with caution.  "Yeah, I've been doing this for a while, and was taught by some pretty good hackers…" You shrug, as if it's no big deal. You want to be mature for him, even though 23 is plenty old, you feel quite immature half the time, hence your bratty behavior. Neo seems a bit skeptical. "Sure…well. I hope you can do a good job of watching over me while I do the rest of the hacking. I've never had a…I don't know what to call it, an assistant?" He says trying to find the right word for you.  "Hey! I am not going to be your assistant!" You reject the notion, a bit childish of you despite your previous worry of maturity.  "Alright, alright…" Neo chuckles, raising those big hands in defeat. "What should I say instead? Colleague? Partner? Guardian Angel who looks after me?"  He jokes about the last one, but something inside you kind of likes the ring of that. You laugh along with him, you two are getting comfortable, and you notice he's leaned over the table towards you as well.  "We'll work on that one…" You say, looking into his eyes, his eyes searching yours just the same. The flash of the idea of closing the foot of space between you two and trying those soft looking lips floats by in your mind. You can just imagine what he would look like when you're done, his lips smudged with your lipstick. You can't help but want to mark your territory.  The two of you continue to discuss the details, both of you surprising the other with how much tech knowledge you both possess. Somehow, you feel as if he just gets you, it's so strange. You have felt so lonely this summer, it feels as if a fire has been ignited in you, bringing you back to life, your body buzzing. You don't know if it's the liquor you've had, which hasn't been that much really, but you feel like you could get addicted to Neo's energy. He's just so interesting.  When he asks to walk you home, you don't even think twice.  ✧✧✧

The night has brought rain while the two of you were in Club Hel, and Neo's mind is racing. He's absolutely obsessed with you. He couldn't take his eyes off you all night, even though he tried to act aloof and maybe even use his maturity to seem as if he has control over the situation. But the truth is, you could have him wrapped around your finger in no time.  Neo's aware of this, but the lonely loser inside him is so desperate for this connection. He feels as if he needs you. If he loses you, scares you off, that would crush him at this point. If he thought he was in trouble just from seeing your picture, coming in and seeing your real life form has absolutely blown his mind. He has no idea how he scored talking to someone as sexy as you, but knows he can't screw up and show you how much of a nerdy perv he actually is. He's so glad the table hid how hard he was for you, and when you two stand up so he can show you home when you're all done, he keeps his trench coat closed tight.  He quickly helps you into a cab, the rain just beginning, but by the time you're both inside the hot backseat of the cab, you're drenched. God, he can't believe how gorgeous you look with your black hair soaking wet, he watches the city lights glint off your now slippery breasts. He really can't believe you wore something so promiscuous to your first meeting with him.  He wonders if you want him as much as he wants you, but he almost can't let himself believe it. He wouldn't be able to live from another let down like that. He is pretty old to still be a virgin, one of his biggest secrets, and the fact that he's barely talked to girls, let alone never really had a girlfriend doesn't help. He's always felt like such a freak, and the stuff he's into, hobbies like hacking, kinks, or otherwise, have never been something women have been interested in.  But you? Here you are, this gothic beauty who has the same passion as him. It's too good to be true. He can barely speak to you. He's so wrapped up in his own thoughts and nervous in the cab.  He wishes this were a real date, that taking you home meant he got to follow behind you. His thoughts tumble into going into your bedroom with you, pinning you to the bed, and him finally having his way with you. He's been picturing it all night. He wants you to moan out his name, tell him how much you want him, and take as much of his cock as physically possible.  God, he can't even hardly look at you right now his thoughts are so dirty.  "She probably thinks I'm such a huge freak I can't believe I haven't run her off yet." He finds himself thinking.  Neo wishes he could find a balance between this desperate horniess he feels for you, and being a normal man who has very good intentions with you. He can't help it, he's already lost to the thought of you tied up and willing. He can just picture his hands moving all over your body, tightening the rope where need be. He bets you even want the rope to be black. "We're almost here…" Your angelic voice whispers to him. He's snapped out of his daydream, and he realizes the two of you are super close to his apartment. For a moment he worries he gave the driver the wrong address, but no, there you are, stepping out and leading him to your apartment.  Neo lets you take his hand, and run through the rain towards your apartment building. It's as if an electrical current is running between where you two meet, hands touching skin to skin, a need so bad that Neo wonders if he can control himself. The urge to pull you to him and smash his lips against yours, uncaring from the rain, is strong enough he has to stop himself. When you two finally get inside the building, you're shivering, your little bit of clothing soaked and not offering much heat.  "Here…" Neo says, taking his trench coat off, the leather allowing most of the water to glide off, the inside dry and warm. 

"Oh! Thank you…" Your soft voice says, and Neo feels so good to be able to help you like this. When you turn to go up the stairs, Neo adjusts hIs cock in his pants, now that the trench coats gone, he doesn't want you to see his hardness. He hopes you don't notice.  The two of you walk up the stairs to your apartment, and Neo is almost angry with you that he can see up your skirt, spotting red lacy panties on your ample ass. Fuck. He has to keep it together, but it's so hard to keep his brain from fogging over with lustful thoughts of you. You two haven't even discussed anything romantic, he can't be acting like this, besides how much younger you are, you probably aren't interested, and, and…

Neo doesn't even notice you two are at your apartment before you're opening the door and turning to him. He feels entirely caught off guard by your big, innocent eyes looking up at him. 

"Well, would you like to come in and dry off? I have a spare umbrella you can use when you go…?" The way you're speaking and looking at him right now, he could just grab you and push you inside, taking as much of your flesh in his mouth as possible. Besides the fact, that there's no fucking way you really invited him in.

"I-Yeah…I would like that." Neo finds his voice. It would be nice, his hair is soaking wet, now dark and in his face, the gel no longer keeping it as slicked back as he would like. He doesn't like feeling so disheveled, so out of control. "Good, come in. You can sit on the couch…" You say to him, pointing out the couch and bouncing off the the bathroom to get a towel. 

Neo sits as told, and takes in your apartment. It's small, has more rooms than his however, and the decor matches your style, a bit toned down in the living room and kitchen, but has he leans he can see into your bedroom from the couch.  He leans a bit more, and realizes he can see something else too. His cock aches when he notices that he's looking into the bathroom, the door isn't shut fully and he can see your form moving about in there. It looks like you are taking care of yourself first, stripping down from the skimpy goth outfit you had on.  Neo clutches the side of the couch, his breath stuck in his chest as he sees those lacey red panties, and now gets a glimpse of the matching bra as well. He wonders if you put those on on purpose tonight, or if that's how you always dress. 

Soon, he knows he absolutely should look away as your back is now bare, your bra slipping down your shoulders, from this angle not revealing anything quite yet. Neo can't help himself, his hand is pressed to his cock over his pants, just tiny bits of well placed pressure exciting him even more. He knows he can't look, this isn't right, he isn't supposed to see this, but god, he could cum in his pants right now if he keeps staring.  You continue to undress, your bare ass now facing Neo, your panties on the floor of the bathroom, you seem to semi kick them towards a pile of clothes. Neo is totally entranced by you, rubbing on himself more and more, getting off on the fact that he shouldn't be looking, the forbidden intrigue becoming an obsession for him. He's so fucked. He jumps when you begin to turn, and scrambles when you come out of the bathroom and into your bedroom naked. He moves back to his original position on the couch like his life depends on it, his heart beating hard. He tries to adjust to seem nonchalant when you come out, this time sporting a Bauhaus band T-shirt that's way too big for you, along with a pair of black sporty shorts. He isn't sure if this is hotter than seeing you naked to be honest, your hair is still wet, and your make up has been washed off. He feels as if he should only see this version of you if you only allowed him to be that intimate with you.  You toss him a towel and point into the bedroom.  "The bathrooms in there if you need to use it." You say with a smile, coming to sit on the couch yourself now. Neo nods and quickly stands, trying to hide his hot and hard cock. This might be his chance to help himself out, though the guilt of that is already starting as he thinks it.  He goes to the bathroom, and makes sure the door is shut. He can't let you see this. His pants are down before he do anything else. His cock is freed, and the night air sticks to it. Fuck, he's so hard for you.  Neo is stroking himself off in your tiny little bathroom, trying to cover his mouth from heavy breathing. He's so scared you'll hear him or he'll take too much time and be suspicious. Honestly the nerves are making it hard to get off, then he sees something laying on the floor and groans.  He snatches your discarded red panties, not even questioning the morals of pressing them against his face and getting a smell of you. God, you smell so fucking sweet and musky, Neo could scream. He imagines fucking you like no other right now. He wants you against this bathroom counter, looking at your own reflection, watching yourself desperately need his cock. 

He thinks about tying your hands behind your back, and pressing your face into the counter as he gets forceful with your tiny body. He's so much bigger than you by comparison, height alone gives him all the advantage he needs over keeping you in place and fuckable. He would easily be able to get what he wants from you.  The smell of your pussy on these panties Is making his head spin, he keeps using his hand, harder and harder, getting to climax thinking about shooting off a load inside of you. He aims for your sink as he finishes, his disgusting actions leaving a mess there. Once again, fuck… Neo has to just lean against the wall for a moment can catch his breath. This is the second time he's jerked off to thinking of you, he's such a loser. He briefly wonders if he made a mistake, if he goes back out there and by some miracle you actually brought him up here to fuck him, did he just both metaphorically and physically blow it? No, there's no way. Neo shamefully cleans up after himself. He even makes sure to rinse his hands and the sink with soap, it wouldn't be fair to leave any evidence.  As he finishes up, and actually starts to dry himself off like he was supposed to, he sees the panties where he had set them next to the sink. He doesn't have time to think twice, he has been in here too long, so he swipes them and puts them into his pants pocket as deep as they can go. He hopes you don't notice, my god, does he hope. He composes himself, then finds the confidence to stride back out there and look at you after what he's done.  You're lounging on the couch, flipping through channels on a tiny CRTV. You stop on a late night black and white horror movie. As Neo comes back out, he thinks he sees Bella Lugosi coming for his female victim, and he can't help but chuckle. 

"I didn't know you liked the classics." Neo says, your attention turning to him. If he just focuses on teasing you, then maybe he won't have to think about what he just did.  "Of course, Dracula is the best." You say with a smirk, as if he's the dumb one for suggesting anything else. "He's just so powerful and mysterious…"  "Powerful and mysterious, huh?" Neo responds, still standing by the couch, unsure if he's invited to join you.  "Why don't you come sit and see? It's still raining down pretty hard, maybe you should stay until it lets up…?" Neo can't believe his luck, but now he is really worried he came too soon in the bathroom. He slowly sits down next to you.  "Alright, I'll stay for a bit," Neo tries to sound like this isn't his wildest dream right now.  The two of you continue to watch the movie as the rain gets worse outside. And somewhere between that and now, Neo realizes he may have just had that date with you anyways. His typically heavy heart feels like skyrocketing when at some point you move and lay your head into his shoulder.  The small movement shouldn't have him this flustered, but it does. The rain makes whatever perfume you're wearing smell so much better, it smells like vanilla, musk, and fresh cotton mixed with the earthy scent of rain. Neo takes a deep inhale and hopes you don't notice. 

There's something about how good your body heat feels that makes Neo's heart swell. The connection you two have is just so strong for him. He feels as if he's been so alone for so long that something as simple as you putting your head on his shoulder is almost too much. He wants this so bad, he can't believe how far he's gotten into his own isolation that he feels this way from something so simple.

He almost wishes he could be at home, with his computers. Not in anyways that takes you for granted, no, of course not that. Just in the sense that computers aren't warm like you, they listen to him, he builds the code and they do what he says. With you, he has no idea what you're thinking right now. In fact, he has no clue as to why you're allowing any of this. It makes him so nervous just to think about what might be going on in your head right now.

Neo will take what you give him in any capacity however, even if it drives him nuts that your into him. Eventually, the night wanes on, the storm still gently raging and the movie playing out. Somewhere amongst all of that, Neo finds his eyelids getting heavier. His body relaxes as you snuggle closer, and he can tell you are close to sleeping too. He feels like he absolutely should not fall asleep, this is so strange to him, he has never felt this sort of intimacy before. But he somehow feels so safe right now to do so, and it's not like he really has the willpower to deny you.  He lets you snuggle half into his lap, and finds himself falling into a peaceful, dreamless sleep… ✧✧✧

[mitraoki]

hi!!!! :> first i just wanna say i really love your writing, it's so cozy and comforting to me !! so i thought i'd request some comfort hcs, maybe geto (if u write for him!!) and gojo with an s/o on their period? if you're comfortable writing it ofc <3 hope you have a lovely day !!

when you're on your period. (jjk hcs!)

note; AAAAA hello anon!! i’m sooo glad you enjoy my writing!!!!🥺❤️i really hope i can offer you more comfort with these hcs you've requested!!! also my first time writing for geto so i hope you enjoy them! <333

requests are still open!

masterlist.

geto suguru.

+ okay i don't know why but just from the looks of it, geto is a professional. no doubt - you wouldn't even have to tell him about the basics - this man just KNOWS everything about periods. so imagine how easygoing is it for the both of you when it comes to taking care of you. (giggling and kicking my feet as i write this)

+ no one, and i mean NO ONE is allowed to disturb you while you're doing unwell. they're gonna have to get through your boyfriend first. 

+ little scenario i thought of: it was the around the beginning of your relationship with him when he realizes that you started complaining about your abdominal pains. he's concerned of course, but he also knows that if he starts to panic, he wouldn't be able to handle what you were going through. soon realizes it's possibly that time of the month (i told you, he's a genius.) prince charming right here makes sure he guides you to the bathroom safe and sound, standing right in front of the door, just in case you call out for him. 

+ SUCH A SWEETHEART!!! this dude makes sure to ask if you were okay when he doesn't hear any sign of you from the outside. doesn't want to breach your privacy. reassurance if you ever need it too. he has also heard of cases where people have passed out while on their periods, so once again, no risking anything. he's quick to his feet, getting you whatever you asked him for. 

+ guides you to your bed if the pain is severe. there's just something about the way geto takes care of you - he doesn't want to pry too much by asking you tons of questions, but he also doesn't want to leave you be. 'do you need anything, dearest?' he questions. soon after he returns with a heating pad, painkillers, warm water (tea if you're up for it) and your favorite snacks. plants a kiss on your forehead (because you once claimed that his kisses always make you feel better, so he's had that habit ever since <3) EVEN offers to stay with you if you need it PLSPLSPLS-

+ if he's out and about and you need some supplies, never be afraid to ask him!!! he understands that periods are a monthly thing, and it is nothing to be embarrassed about. definitely knows your preferred menstrual products. if you think he's only going to return with what you requested, no chance. 'never wrong to spoil my angel,' he shrugs. 

gojo satoru.

+ NO BECAUSE the first thing when i thought of gojo is him asking you 'what pussy size are you' IM SORRY OKAY 😭😭he loves you a lot though i promise you that. i would say gojo is a little underexperienced when it comes to periods. although he would do anything to keep himself informed, especially since he is confident he will spend the rest of his life with you <3 

+ unlike geto, gojo would panic. worried too. how are your uterus walls discharging? and it's blood too. oh god how is his s/o handling the pain... you'll be okay right? man it doesn't look like it but gojo overthinks till his brain reaches full capacity. so he asks. and he will continue asking until he makes sure he's prepared for your future menstrual cycles. 

+ i feel like this little fear of his developed from the time when you were unwell, and he was left in a spiral of guilt as he wasn't able to provide proper help. it happened when he was out on a mission too so in a state of panic, he had shoko/nobara/maki provide you with some help. one thing i can say though is that the exact moment he was done with whatever he was tasked to do, he had never rushed home as quickly until that very day. 

+ 'i don't want you to blame yourself gojo. i know you've not handled situations like these before, but it's nothing too serious,' you'd told him, before adding, 'god you look famished. take a breather, honey.' he was pretty stubborn that day too. 'serious or not, i don't want anything bad to happen to you. i wasn't even here to help.'

+ waves of guilt shone in his eyes. despite his confident, charming demeanor he presents to you everyday, in the end he's just another human being. people tend to forget that about him, and he manages to trust you enough to let his complete guard down. holding his hand, you stated, 'you have, satoru. and when you need it, i can always guide you through it.' 

+so ever since then, he has your dates marked in HIS calendar, makes sure your supplies are restocked up to date. your favorite snacks out of stock in a certain store? don't you ever worry about that - gojo has his ways. will definitely inquire more about periods with the girls i mentioned earlier. ensures you're not alone when he's outside. oh but when he's at home, he lays right next to you. loves it when he's able to place his hand on your stomach when you need it <3 keep in mind that his series of questions would continue too. all he wants is to be able to provide you with literally anything.

+ and despite all this, HE'S SO GOOD at handling your mood swings. it seriously does not bother him. i don't know what he's on either, but i can tell people come to him just to ask him about how he does it so easily. you're pretty surprised yourself. angry? no problem, he can find a way. crying? he's got your back. tired and in pain? a breeze, really. gojo stumbles quite a lot when it comes to learning something new, but give him some time and he's already up and running. what can i say? he is in love.

all created content belongs to mitraoki. reposts/remakes are not allowed.

[phil-lesterfan]

straightman count your fucking days

ngl i understand why g*iman might want to say heaven/god isn't homophobic in the sense that like "oh people love the g*mens 'verse and want to imagine a world without homophobia"; however, i think it's safe to say that, definitely by now, heaven are also bad guys. perhaps god isn't homophobic and fans could maybe take comfort in that, but heaven can be without that reflecting on god and ruining that illusion.

that being said, defensively shutting down an interpretation (coming from the "interpret everything however you want" guy) that makes the story even more meaningful than it already is, especially when focussing on the show's version of the story, which has definitively moved into "love story" territory, is such loser behaviour. you're allowed to tell fans things they don't want to hear, and fans should be allowed to recognise themselves and the things they've been through without being called delusional or wrong or whatever for it.

covering your ass with the sandalphon comment is hilarious too, because yeah, everyone totally thinks about everything but homophobia when they think of sodom and gomorrah. be serious for me for just one second, please!

no one even called him homophobic for the scene's inclusion (because duh, what you write about doesn't 1:1 reflect your values), but tbh, with the way he reacted, well . . . it's not a very good look, i think. saying "hey, this scene reflected homophobia experienced by gay people [in this instance, specifically gay men]" isn't at all the same as saying "you endorse homophobia" — imagine how impossible it'd be to write a story without any ~problematic~ elements — and if you interpreted g*yziraphale's statement as accusatory, you need to take a step back and do some serious reassessment.

(and the tags about "it doesn't even have to be 'boyfriend'! it could've been 'lady friend' or 'bosom friend'"? what? first of all, if only it were that easy to avoid homophobia! sadly [sarcasm], gay people exist. secondly, WHY DIDN'T THEY JUST SAY ONE OF THOSE THINGS THEN? if angels don't have an understanding of gender or sexuality, why didn't they use one of the neutral terms you suggested? and again, if a and c being just friends was enough to spark heaven's anger and if heaven really has no concept of sexuality — let's remember, s1 had their relationship hella ambiguous still, so if some viewers of the show couldn't pick up on anything between the two, you think 'i don't get sex' heaven would? — they should've just said "friend"!)

i hate that i've written an essay because i hate that i'm putting so much time and (emotional) energy into this, but i'm just so sick of gay people being called delusional or "looking too deep" for pointing out where stories parallel their own. also, nice little "actually *you're* the homophobic one for even noticing it!!1!"[1] there. really deserving of a glaad award, sir. (or is that yet another statement i'm not allowed to interpret?)

1 look, i get he could be acting like he's just got the gender version of colour blindness, but he's a grown up. he should know damn well how that line comes across.

[ipsen]

"eto as the snake in the garden of eden" is so obvious when you think about it and also SUPER compelling to me specifically because fortunately for you i did a paper surrounding the portrayal of satan over the years

because typical satan is like, more of a christian figure than anything else, and is just kinda a Huge Dick as far as i can tell. HOWEVER, the satan in the hebrew bible is another angel who works for god. their name roughly translates to "adversary."

eto, in a meta sense, is much the same way as the depiction of satan over the years. at a first glance, her organization is basically ghoul terrorists. terrorism is, generally speaking, pretty bad. evil, even. because people get hurt. people get killed. they are "tragedy" made manifest.

but, dig into aogiri's ideals, and the story changes. the founder is one of many victims of the twisted whims of a system larger than any one person is. aogiri means to destroy this system, even if it means killing people. but those who aren't in the way? they are typically safe. they aren't targets, so they don't get hurt. hell, they even protect people.

at a surface glance, eto-- thus aogiri-- can be seen as a bringer of "tragedy". but this is not the case. eto is "reality". she is the infection born of a wound that has not been treated properly. she is the reminder that sorrow and tragedy and wrongness exists, but she is not wrongness herself. she is the one who wants to do something about it, and she is constantly testing those around her to see if they will falter in the face of reality. those who don't are tormented and brought into the abyss of their own minds (yasuhisas, kanae).

so, if eto is satan, who is god? kishou arima. he has been compared to god before, and her imagination of god matches his tendency to 'overcompensate' by way of slaughtering ghouls en masse and being so much stronger than everyone else.

eto and arima are presented as equals in the original series, but upon arima's reveal as the one-eyed king, as well as their immense age gap at the time of their meeting (arima 19, eto 14), changes the dynamic entirely.

she is just his servant. she is the servant of god, posing as his adversary.

[asmo-cosmetics]

i didn’t mean to send that yet and i was trying to say that virgin levi is a big thing in the fandom but i can’t imagine it as a reality.

like you can’t tell me he doesn’t have sex with mammon when they’re both bored or angry, that the twins haven’t tag teamed him in their room while he was begging for them, that asmo hasn’t ridden him until he was near knocked out.

virgin levi doesn’t work for me bc the other members of the house of lamentation are right there

asks that were designed in a lab specifically for me. there are layers to this anon take my hand

in one master, none of the brothers are virgins, but in the nightbringer timeline, there's an argument to be made that they all are, because

all angels are virgins. this is a headcanon of mine and reasonable people can disagree but let me explain to you why it's so fun

SHAME. GUILT. it's canon that angels in the om! universe can be tempted by and even driven to disobedience and sin. they are naturally pious, not naturally pure – but they seem to believe they're supposed to be naturally pure, e.g. asmo asking mc if they thought the brothers were supposed to be demons all along.

it's a whole cruel mess, basically. god is the main villain of the obey me universe and i'll die on that hill.

but the result is an entire race of beings that experience sexual maturity, but due to the way their society is structured, each individual believes it to be a unique experience happening to themself exclusively, and happening to them because they are morally weak.

they're not ignorant of the concept of sexuality, because they're the guardians of humans, and humans experience sexuality. but angels shouldn't. angels, as far as any angel knows, don't.

the purest/most naïve/most loyal angels (think raphael) might not even recognize it for what it is within themselves either out of denial. like. "my brothers and sisters are so beautiful and wonderful and have such stunning features and graceful bodies. i love them very much and i love serving our father together with them. i am having a completely pure and normal reaction to them interacting with me." etc.

THIS ALSO FITS WITH THE GAME LORE. THINK ABOUT IT. LILITH IS THE FIRST ANGEL THAT EVER HAD SEX, WHICH MEANT SHE HAD TO DIE, BECAUSE IF AN ANGEL AND A HUMAN WERE TO PROCREATE IT MIGHT RESULT IN A BEING THAT DISRUPTS THE POWER BALANCE BETWEEN THE THREE REALMS. OTHERWISE KNOWN AS GODDAMN MC. GOD KILLED HER AS AN EXAMPLE TO THE ANGELS NOT TO DIRECTLY INTERFERE WITH HUMANS BECAUSE HUMANS ARE HOW THEY KNOW ABOUT SEXUALITY AS A CONCEPT okay i'm done shouting but do you understand??

(thank you diavolo for saving our grandma. you also kind of fucked up the whole universe by doing that but it's okay i get it i'm down bad for lucifer too)

anyway back to the incest stuff

the brothers were not the type of angels mentioned above. like it's been noted in the game, they were never just siblings the way all angels are siblings. they were always close. always a family. so they all experienced the solipsistic torture of loving each other and wanting each other and being sure that these feelings exist in them because they are bad and dirty and wrong

and then they were demons, and they were... free

it would've taken them a while to deconstruct everything, though

in my head, the aftermath of the war is when they became super codependent trauma-bonded weirdos. satan too, though it takes him a little longer to admit it. they start needing a lot more physical touch with each other for reassurance (cries in all sleeping in one room is canon now) and are more affectionate than before with hugs/kisses, and then asmo's sin kicks in and, well, they feed beel. they let belphie sleep. they deal with satan's meltdowns, mammon's sticky fingers, lucifer's superiority complex. they help each other. that's what brothers do.

so there's my giant lore essay. now to what's actually in your ask

you are correct

and i don't get it either (i do get it it's because obey me fans are idiots who go "ewwww incest" despite all the canon incest)

but seriously i do get why the boys as virgins is fun and i guess i could see it in the context of the brothers all being super repressed and not wanting to admit their feelings for each other? but then again. asmo.

and i get the virgin levi thing because for one thing it's cute. and for another thing he canonically has a humiliation fetish

but like that still works with demoncest levi. in fact that works better with demoncest levi. he's never had sex with anyone except his brothers. that makes him even more of a creepy shut-in freak loser.

the other brothers (especially asmo and satan) would literally teach you how to degrade him best!! hello

it's so obvious to me like bye.

also all of your suggestions are so incredibly correct. levi begging for the twins' cocks in specific has... done something to me

i will raise you, however: them DPing him. i think he could take it. and it seems like something the twins would want to do.

as i've said before levi and mammon switch bc they're both subs but mammon is the only brother i think levi's a bossy bottom with. with lucifer and satan it's "please, sir" and with asmo it's "i need you, princess" and with beel and belphie it's "as rough as you want, you won't hurt me," but with mammon it's "i swear to our fucking father if you don't put your cock in me right now i'm gonna kill you" and "harder. now." and "jesus, belphie fucks me better in his sleep, if you're gonna be this lazy turn over so i can ride you"

while i do not personally subscribe to the levi has two cocks theory i do headcanon that he is like. incredibly hung.

levi asmo belphie biggest dicks in the family. no i do not take criticism

anyway asmo's a size queen and also loves throwing shade. perfect combo

but also levi feels safest telling asmo about kinks he saw in hentai wants to try out but is embarrassed of. the first time asmo choked him out it made him come so hard asmo made the executive decision to quietly inform everyone else, who all showered him in praise after they got the same results~