#you could just dm

[ofbreathandflame-archive]

came back to tumblr just to find that @worldsnotsaid is gone? girl whyyy☹️

Hi anon!

It was kind of abrupt, and I do apologize for that -- truly. It's why I am tackling this ask! But, it was very freeing to delete that blog, and it felt as if a weight had truly been lifted from my chest to see it go. Bittersweet, yes! But absolutely needed. Constantly seeing asks box jump from 300 to 400+, the constant hate messages, the inboxes -- it was all too much for me to tackle, and honestly, it felt as if my blog was just no longer productive at that point.

I am always 100% behind the points made on that blog, and the problems in SJM's writing. My passion for those points will never fade or change for that matter. But I think the book community and publishing are just not ready for an actual change -- and it's tough to have the conversation about racial and abusive themes in books when people pick and choose when to chastise and ignore. It's literally like having a conversation with a wall. I can't honestly have a conversation about tackling racism in the book industry when people can't even let go of a book series that isn't even well written. We aren't being militant about the problems in the book industry, and its exactly why it looks the way it does. I don't know, I think I've grown apathetic to it. The urge for docility among reviewers disguised as 'allyship,' the flip-flop about abuse and abusive themes in books. None of it makes sense. And it's like the legwork to make it happen just doesn't seem worth having someone constantly throw vitriol in your face. It just seemed like it becomes a tit-for-tat straw-man debate in the end, and that -- again -- isn't productive. 'Tamlin stans this' and 'Nesta stans that, and it was like ?? Can we just think outside of that? We can't complain about the way PoC are always treated in the story and then turn around and defend an author who would 100% kill them off and let her white character wear their trauma like a second skin. Like how serious are these conversations when the ones having them are unwilling to stop supporting the author propagating these harmful tropes to other authors. FBAA ran because ACOTAR walked; ACOTAR ran because Twilight walked. These harmful stereotypes in these books melded and made the environment we have today. And it is what is.

As another blog asked, I will not be returning to that blog as it was deleted. But there are so many beautiful and articulate antis in the tag that adeptly explain the problems in this series and in much clearer and more concise ways! My blog was a rambling mess anyways!

Funny addition: And do you know the sheer frustration of typing up an entire post that's 2000+ with links and citations talking seriously about abuse and racism and how its portrayed in the media just for someone to skim the post and make a follow-up, sub-post that starts with: 'Tamlin stans always think.' -- yeah never again.

[mynnthia]

was talking with a friend about how some of dunmeshi fаndom misunderstands kabru's initial feelings towards laios.

to sum up kabru's situation via a self-contained modernized metaphor:

kabru is like a guy who lost his entire family in a highly traumatic car accident. years later he joins a discord server and takes note of laios, another server member who seems interesting, so they start chatting. then laios reveals his special interest and favorite movie of all time is David Cronenberg's Crash (1996), and invites kabru to go watch a demolition derby with him

[fuzzyhairedfreak]

um uh uh um. so. did anyone else used to follow Nate Stevenson's D&D campaign drawings back in the day or-

[cosmicwhoreo]

SO, I made my own tragic legendary sea cookie since that seems to be the theme for devsis in between comms-

Beneath the dark, forgotten waves of the west sea, amongst a once bustling and colorful coral forest is it's sleepy monarch; Grand Reef Cookie. A jolly, yet strangely complaisant individual who spends his frail, doddering years tending to the decaying remains of his children's once proud homeland.

They have all left, of course. Some more hesitant than others to leave their loving father's side. But, Grand Reef Cookie was insistent of their retreat. That, unlike him, they were not bound to their namesake in soul and body. That the ocean held much more plentiful and vibrant sights that were not to be wasted fretting over a forgotten relic of the past. That doesn't stop many from visiting though... Bringing with them trinkets and offerings to help alleviate his wistful loneliness.

But, unlike some of his children, Grand Reef doesn't harbor any resentment for cookies. It's just not in his nature to harbor any hatred for... Well, anything, really. A reef is meant to be a nurturing and peaceful place for even the most ruthless apex predator, to be unwelcoming and unkind to even one creature would go against his very nature. ________

Why be a betrayed and/or volatile tragic, when you can be a sweet, hospice patient kind of tragic? That, and sea pollution and global warming tragic, I mean it's right there-

[inkskinned]

im having a particularly terrible night with urges and imagery that i dont know how to handle. i gave in to some things. held back on some others. but im barely holding on, dear internet stranger.

you do not owe me your time or your words.. but if you could write some hope into existence for me.. i would be unendingly grateful to you.

please. tell me how you do it. tell me how you survive. because im not so sure i can get through the fifteen days it'll take to get to my seventeenth birthday.

could you please give me something to place my faith in? i dont think the universe is watching out for me anymore.

i don't usually answer these, because i am not a professional, and you deserve professional help. when i was 17 i was terrified of the idea of professional help, because my household was extremely unsafe, and made it clear that if i ever chose to get help, i would be punished for it.

i hope this is not your case. i hope that you can call someone, and they can take you where you should go.

but i will give you the advice that i wish i got, when i couldn't get help at 17, when i was so bad that years later, i literally don't-know-how-i-survived it: what you want is peace, not death. your brain is sick. it has romanticized an ending where there are no consequences. where effort isn't necessary. where you can just... forget.

you want peace. that is a normal, human thing to want. maybe it feels more like you want quiet. or just... to take a break for a second.

here is what i will say: to end yourself means you never get to experience what it's like to actually be happy. i thought i knew what it was like, and i was bitter about it. i'd say - i've been happy, it's not worth it, because i didn't know what i was missing. i thought that happiness meant having a partner or having a job or money or a college degree. it sounded like effort. it sounded like something that had to happen to me.

for the first time in my life, just this week, i was able to go to a concert and just-enjoy-it. no liquor, no drugs. just stomping my feet and getting caught up in it. i didn't feel nervous or self-conscious or overwhelmed. i just had a good time. these days have a lot of these firsts for me - it is the first time i can eat cake without crying. it is the first time i can be around an exacto blade without supervision. it is the first time i have too many people to call when i am crying.

i can't tell you where you'll run into happiness, only that, for me, it started once i was out of that fucking house. it started once i figured out where the pain was coming from. once i figured out that i was not possessed, something medical was wrong with me. that i am not stupid or lazy, i have depression and adhd. the first few years were difficult. at 19, during my efforts to recover, i actually got worse by a considerable margin. and then, with time and patience - i got better.

happiness doesn't feel like what you think it will. in movies it's so golden and all-encompassing. but it doesn't fly into your hands when you buy your first car nor does it arrive in the arms of a partner nor does it require passing your classes. happiness came to me on a tuesday in the form of a red-winged blackbird, and i looked at her, and she looked at me, and i said - oh. the whole world suddenly filled itself in with color. like i had been forever-asleep. like every corner of every room was suddenly glistening.

it ended quickly, back then. it just stopped in to check in on me. but it was enough - this thing i had never experienced, but that i knew (logically) could happen. before that, i was only staying because it would make my mom sad if i died. that was my only reason. and then the happiness came, so strange and brilliant and lovely that for years i couldn't even look at it directly.

these days, things are so different. life is so much easier. i don't wish for death because so much of what i have is already at peace. my boss understands when i need a mental health day. people in general are less prone to high school drama. entire communities hold my hand and have my number. i have a car and a dog and a little apartment garden and candles on all available surfaces and today i bought myself a little cake just-to-celebrate-nothing. my body is my own and we are both dancing.

there are so many things i've gotten to taste in the last 10 years. i know, for you, that is an eon, because it's more than half of your life. but if it helps? in the 5 years between 17-21: i filled myself with laughter and love. i got to be a lead in a ballet and got my first tattoo and then my second and pierced my ears the way i'd wanted to (one of them professionally the other over a hot stove with a potato) and i discovered hozier is my favorite singer (i know. he was new back then) and i got my first real job and my first real paycheck and i hadn't ever been seen as smart but then i started to actually treat my adhd as a condition rather than a burden and people started saying you're like the smartest person in the room and my best friend met her husband who i will one day stand next to as maid of honor when he is her groom and i got to help people and make a stupid blog called "inkskinned" and find out that writing is actually my passion and that maybe i'm actually kind of good at it if i just practice and i got to meet my parents' dog (his name is kaiju) and i slept on couches and kissed people and tried new things and learned how to breathe without feeling my chest tighten and that peace is here, on this planet, that peace echoes everywhere, it is in my hair and my homework and my houseplants, it is quiet and divine and mine because i fought for it and i built it and yes i lost hair over it but holy shit the whole world feels like it is shifted through a sunbeam

recently someone asked me if i could go back in time to 6th grade, with all the knowledge i have now, would i? and without thinking, i barked absolutely not. i know i should say it's because i wouldn't want to risk losing any of this stuff - but really it's because i would never survive being a teenager again. it sounds incredibly lame and impossible, fake - but being a teenager was the hardest thing i ever did. i had no voice, no control, only fear and hatred.

but i did survive it. nothing about me is special. nothing about me is stronger than you or better prepared or more efficient. i didn't survive it perfectly. i made a lot of mistakes and lost a lot of friends and harmed myself in ways that i'm still recovering from. but i did survive it. and there is a part of me looking at you in the past and saying - i'm you in the future.

and holy shit. every day. every goddamn day i'm glad we survived to see the rest of it. because you hit 18 and everything changes. like, everything. and holy shit, it is infinitely worth it.

[leroibobo]

really do not think people understand the extent to which palestinian sites/landmarks (especially muslim ones) were destroyed, beginning in 1948 until now, even in cities. the oldest extant mosque in jaffa (al-bahr mosque) was built in 1675, even though islam came there in the 7th century

[finemealprompt]

DP x DC Prompt #32

When Danny had mentioned dungeons and dragons to his new family, he wasn't expecting all of them to latch on like they had. Hadn't realized they'd want him so desperately to DM for them.

But, Danny's in-between campaign's right now, so he agrees. Why not? Besides, it might be a good way to hint that he knows about their late night activities.

[budd-ie]

“Mu Qing is too logical for his own good” is such a real problem that he deals with and as tragic as it makes his life I also think it’s really funny when someone is accusing him of something and instead of telling them to shut up or leave him alone the first thing he does is pull out the 95 fucking theses detailing every single thing wrong with their argument WITH historical evidence and additional considerations from scholarly psychology articles, MLA format works cited and completely annotated. It could use an editor and some bias correction, but he actually makes a pretty good point. anyways tgcf ace attorney au when

[kernsing]

ORV as a story about fervid devotion through life and death/the desperate lengths taken to save the one(s) you care about more than anything/the paradoxically futile yet worthwhile endeavor to know and understand and love someone—all without ever developing into romance—is just so near and dear to my aromantic heart. Even past the grand gestures, the heroic journeys, the sacrificial acts, this one dream: “I want to buy a really big house and live together with everyone.” How do I encapsulate the amount of yearning inherent to my reading of that sentence. Like it was clawed out from the deepest parts of the soul. How wondrously heavy and real it feels, this hope for a future I can see much more clearly than any vision of dating/partnership/marriage.

I want to buy a really big house and live together with everyone.

Me too, Dokja. Me too.

[thekittyokat]

you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah

[luck-of-the-drawings]

OOH YEAH BABY ITS THE SURGERY EPISODE BABY!!! ME AND THE HOMIES NEED SOME NEW FACES FOR OUR NEW PLAN, AND WHO BETTER TO GET THE JOB DONE THAN THE TWO MOST EVIL PEOPLE WE'VE EVER HAD THE MISFORTUNE OF HAVING OUR LIVES VIOLATED BY? I MEAN IT WOULD BE FUNNY. IT WOULD BE FUNNY.

[mamawasatesttube]

that post going around like "whats one of your favs flaws thats like actually fucked up and morally wrong that theyve done, it cant just be too nice or whatever" is so funny like. sorry i can't play my fave is. um. yeah you know superman? superman from my comic books? yeah um. well. you see.

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

tbh i think that even unwinnable fights should be winnable. some of the BEST fights i've ever run as a dm were ones i built kill the players (in a fun way. I had some cutscenes prepped so even the loss would be a different flavour of win)- but then they were clever bastards and managed to either win the fights or pull themselves out of trouble. I think it's perfectly fine to plan for a fight that players aren't supposed to win, but you need to let them. if they can't win, they can't lose, and the meaning of that encounter is diminished. do that too many times, and they stop trusting you to give them roleplay prompts and start expecting to sit there waiting while you drive the story for them.

but if they can win... if there is always the chance to win, no matter how impossible the odds, then they ALWAYS have hope. they always get invested. they feel the big emotions of success or the big emotions of failure, and you fucking Win as a dm/roleplay prompter/lead bastard.

[heir-of-the-chair]

See I love Pete and Steph and they work so well together because they are the only normal people in all of Hatchetfield

[lotus-pear]

GUYS GUYS JUST HEAR ME OUT ON THIS ONE i propose skk hair color swap👹👹👹 just imagine how much more powerful chuuya would be w dark brown hair…… man would be the stereotypical mafia boss character he would look so good omfg and dazai alr gets bullied so what’s making him a ginger gonna change lmao. but like does this make sense?????????????? i can visualize this w perfect clarity and idk if that’s a good thing or not

[spaciebabie]

aight so it's that time of year again. funny post announcing me temporarily being offline (including discord) for ~a week maybe more so I can focus on my finals. this is mostly just an announcement for my friends so that you don't think I'm ignoring you or that something has happened 2 me :] (that happened last time and I felt bad). I thought it would be easier 2 do it on my blog than. message multiple ppl and tell them I'm leaving dkdndndndn

I will not be on tumblr or discord from april 27th-may7th most likely. so dont be alarmed if im not around!

I'll rb this post around the time I will be absent :] wish me luck when the time comes!