#you decide if it's worth the risk lmao

[ziskandra]

i chime in with my own unfinished thought on the mvk & miles thing:

initially mvk brings in the boy with a (half-baked) plan for vengeance. he'll turn the boy into something his father would hate (mistake #1: gregory would be disappointed with miles' methodology used at worst, he could not possibly hate him) and then destroy him as a vengeance against the person who stuck him a wound that would never heal (mistake #2: if mvk had the bullet removed, it would heal most likely fairly well. a whole character study could be based on the fact that mvk decided to carry that pain along instead of get help).

thing is, miles was grateful, miles was bright, miles was a kid, and mvk was, for all the faults he had, a father. he is von karma of course, he can't just *not* go through with a plan he's made once he's said he'd do it, because if he did it would mean that his initial decision was a mistake and he can't make mistakes if he is perfect. so he postpones.

and then suddenly it's almost christmas 15 years later and the statue of limitation of the dl-6 is running out and if mvk si going to do the whole vengeance thing, if he really plans to completely destroy miles edgeworth with the "killed his own father" guilt, he has to do it NOW.

it's a rushed thing, it's something mvk doesn't relaly want to do anymore, but he has to pick between destroying his own son or admitting to a mistake, that is destroying his own sense of self.

so here. my theory is that he was incredibly grateful that he got caught in the end, though he'd never admit that to anyone, least of all to himself.

please just imagine me pressing my hands to my cheeks and softly going yes, yes, yes, oh my god your BRAIN. please tell me you've written stuff utilising these headcanons? i wish to Subscribe to the newsletter 👀👀

[miaoua3]

Stay The Morning?

Pairing: CEO! scoups x f!reader

Genre: shameless smut (MDNI), one night stand, meet cute, rich ceo x normal girl, morning after, the whole encounter described through flashbacks, mentions of previous cheating

Description: after your previous boyfriend cheated on you, your friends allowed you three weeks of mopping and self loathing before they drag you out of the house and into a bar. little did you know that a certain gentleman will be there and that he will change your world for a night

Note: i went out with my friends, we jokingly went to our local perfume shop, i found cheols perfume (hermes h24), it made me ovulate….bon appetit.

Warning: barely proofread, read at your own risk lmao

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

to say that walking in on your boyfriend and his coworker shagging in your own bed after you’ve decided to come home earlier to surprise him with a warm and delicious cooked meal messed you up a bit was an understatement.

his apologies fell on deaf ears, partly because you didn’t want to hear it and partly because a sudden ringing appeared to be echoing in the shell of your ear.

overcome with rage, you packed all of his stuff in some plastic bags from previous shopping trips, all while he tried to talk to you and explain that ‘it isn’t what it looks like’.

what a bucket full of bullshit.

deciding that 5 bags worth of stuff should last him a few days, you threw them in front of your door before pushing your now ex in the hallway too.

in his boxers only.

but then, your bravery seemed to have disappeared. while your ex was trying to make excuses explain to you the situation, you haven’t let yourself feel a single emotion other than rage and betrayal.

the moment you slammed the door in your ex’s face though, you felt all the emotions suddenly hit you and you crumbled, letting the tears fall down your face.

in these situations, you always find yourself doing the same thing.

and that is call your two best friends.

in the matter of minutes they were in front of your door, with all the necessities like ice cream and tissues.

and they comforted you. for the whole nights.

and the rest of the week.

and the week following that one.

and then third week week too.

well, at least, until friday evening.

at 6pm sharp, your friend, sana, unlocked the door and kicked them with her foot, your other friend jihyo not far behind her.

only to find you on your couch, watching tv with dead eyes, a bucket of ice cream on your lap (now mostly in a watery consistency).

at the sudden outburst, you looked at the direction of your front door with shocked eyes.

sana, having had enough of your bullshit, marched up to you and pulled you up by your arm, “okay that’s it, go take a shower, we’re going out, i have had it with your bullshit. god, you stink, when was the last time you at least put on deodorant, bro? disgusting.”

you, still being in shock, had little space to let out a complaint at her rambling, until she basically pushed you in the bathroom, making you trip over your own feet, before she closed the bathroom door in your face.

after a second, she yelled “oh and shave your legs and everything else, we are getting you laid tonight!”

by the tone of her voice, you knew that you had no choice but to do as she told you. knowing her, she would make the heavens move just to have her way.

an hour later, you were dressed in a little tight cherry red dress, your makeup done by your two friends, hair perfectly done, a black leather jacket resting on your shoulders, your arms intertwined with the arms of your friends, pulling you out of your apartment and down the stairs.

something in your stomach was telling you that that night wouldn’t go as your friend had imagined it. realising this, you raised your concerns.

“guys, while i really do appreciate this, and im sure we will have so much fun, i don’t think i will be sleeping with anyone tonight. it just feels too soon and im not sure if it would be a good idea for me to do that.”

sana scoffs and replies “girl please, your heart is in your vagina, and currently it is broken thanks to the dumbass that you decided to date even when I specifically told you not to, it just needs to be a big dick that will sprinkle some of its fairy dust on it and it will be as good as new-“, she tried to continue, but jihyo decided to interrupt her by letting go of your arm and using the same hand to reach behind your back and smack sana across the back of her head, full force, making her head fly down.

“stop spewing nonsense, even if we wanted to we can’t make her do anything she doesn’t want to do. plus, if she thinks it wouldn’t be a good idea then it probably isn’t, just because it would work for you doesn’t mean it would work for her.”, jihyo defends you as she intertwines your arms again and rubs the back of your hand with her other hand.

sana just mumbles “we will see about that” in response.

after a few minutes, you reach the bar that you visit semi-regularly aka whenever the stars align and all three of you happen to have a free day on the same day.

sitting at your usual place at the bar, sana orders for all of you before you can even try to protest about how you weren’t in a mood for heavy drinks.

as jihyo and sana are talking between themselves, you look around the bar, just to people watch for a bit, see everyone that is mingling in this bar.

and then you see him.

at the other end of the bar, there sat a man so beautiful it made all of those butterflies you felt on the way to the bar roar together into a chaos.

oh.

he’s so beautiful is the only thought that could cross your mind as you observed him. short black hair neatly styled in a way that it compliments all of his features, dark and thick eyebrows pulling your attention, big and plump lips set in a gentle smile. letting your eyes travel, they end up on his arms, observing how tight the black button up looks on him due to his buff physique. your wandering eyes come to his hands that are resting on the top of the counter, one crossed while the other is playing with the glass filled with dark liquor.

seeming that you have zero self control left, you let your eyes wander back up to his face, to admire the face that you could only describe as if it were sculpted by the gods themselves.

only to find his dark eyes already watching you.

quicker than a thunder, you turn your head towards your two friends again, feeling how hot your face feels due to being caught by the perfect stranger.

you try to go back to the conversation that your friends are having, as a distraction from the most perfect man that you have ever seen in your entire life.

what you fail to notice is that the stranger’s eyes stay on you, caressing your figure with his hot gaze, stopping every few seconds on one of your features, as a way to take not of every little detail and memorise it.

after half an hour, you finish your first drink (that tasted only mildly disgusting due to amount of alcohol it had in it). but it seems that with every sip you took, your self control would lessen and your eyes would stray in the direction of mr.perfect (as you started calling him in your head).

only to snap your head right back because he would already be looking at you, gentle smile playing on the edge of his lips.

the entire time you felt your cheeks burn with embarrassment, excitement and nervousness. to be completely honest, you forgot how it felt to be excited to have got somebody’s whole attention on you, and to have your own attention solely focused on them.

all the butterflies you felt as you were walking to the bar seem to only duplicate with every little exchange of glances between you and mr.perfect.

just as you raised your hand to get the bartender’s attention, a deep “um, excuse me?” came from your right, making you pause your action to turn your head.

and your breath catches in your throat.

because one and only mr.perfect was standing right there, towering over you due to you sitting and him being so very tall, clad in all black, the sleeves of his black button up rolled up to his elbows, the first few buttons undone, giving you a peak to his strong and defined collarbones, a gentle smile teasing the edges of his mouth.

and his gaze.

oh his gaze was burning you from the intensity of it, making goosebumps arise on your skin.

seeing that he got your attention, he continues with a boyish smile “i was just wondering if i could buy you your next drink? it’s just that- i saw you across the room and i thought that you were absolutely beautiful, and my mom taught me that beautiful women should never pay for their own drinks a-and im rambling aren’t i?”, he finishes with a low chuckle, shyly rubbing the back of his neck.

looking at him, it would seem that a cat got ahold of your tongue because you proceed to just stare at him, both of you waiting for you to say anything.

luckily, jihyo comes to your rescue, behind your shoulder smiles at the stranger and says “she would love to!”

breaking out of the trance, you look at her shortly to see her nodding her head encouragingly, before looking at the stranger again with a blushing face “um, yes, i’d really like that”.

he smiles at you, before calling the bartender over. you tell him your order before he directly gets to work.

as your drink is being made, the stranger smiles at you and puts out his hand for a handshake (his beautifully big, veiny and manly hand, adorned by a ring on his middle finger and an expensive watch on his writs) “my name is choi seungcheol, may i ask for yours?”

blushingly, you put your hand in his and introduce yourself. making some small talk, you learn that he is currently 29 years old, and that he’s here with some friends for a friend’s birthday.

just as you were about to ask him what he does for a living, your drink gets put in front of you, breaking the flow of the conversation.

seungcheol, seeing that the only reason why approached you is done, gets up from his sit next to you, “well, your drink is here, i’ll leave you ladies alone now, thank you for allowing me to pay for your drink, enjoy the rest of your night”. he smiles gently before he starts to go back to his friends.

you weren’t lying that alcohol messed with your self control, because in the time it took him to make three steps, you were up and out of your seat, way too loudly than necessary saying “um-!”.

hearing you behind him, he turns around and to see your flustered face, questionably looking at you.

seeing that the cat is already out of the bag and that you already embarrassed yourself as it is, you continue “y-you know, you could buy me the next drink too? o-or, well, you could just- you could offer me a longer conversation instead? um, actually, i-i’d prefer that to a drink.”, you finish with almost to none dignity left, your entire face burning from embarrassment.

seungcheol, in return just smiles.

and the butterflies go wild again.

oh, no.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

waking up, you notice that your room is suspiciously bright. like, way too bright for it to be your room.

the thought makes you jump and sit up automatically, only to notice the lack of the clothes on your body, making you pull the duvet over your chest.

looking around the room, you realise that you were in somebody else’s bed.

and looking to your right, you get the answer as to whose room it is.

seungcheol is sound asleep next to you, shirtless, laying on his stomach with his face turned towards you, his lips set in a cute little pout, his back muscles moving and flexing with every exhale that escapes his mouth.

and his back. oh. my. god.

there were nail scratches all over his back, making it look as if a wild cat had attacked him. but it wasn’t a cat that attacked him, was it now? no it was your doing.

looking around the room, you realise just how much more spacious it looks in the daylight. actually, everything about his condo is big and spacious (as well as everything about him-).

noting every little detail around the room and thinking about how much everything must’ve cost. but it probably didn’t make that much of a difference to him. no.

because choi seungcheol wasn’t just anybody.

he was a ceo of…some company whose name you can’t remember because you were…occupied with something else when he was explaining it to you (read: occupied by watching the veins in his forearms move with every move of his arms that he made).

the fact that he hid that from you up until the moment you walked into his condo makes you mentally scoff at your cluelessness, because who else would wear a watch that size if not a ceo of a company?

you were willing to ignore the big watch. you were even willing to ignore the ridiculously expensive-looking audi that he drove you in to his place. even the underground garage that he drove into.

but walking directly out of the lift and into the biggest condo you have ever since with the whole wall being just one giant window? oh, no way in hell were you going to let it slide.

turning around to look at him questionably, you feel his hand that’s on your back rub slow circles, and his smile turn into a sheepish one.

“so, just a businessman huh?”, you question his previous answer with a raised brow.

in return he chuckles, “well, i am a businessman technically, i just never mentioned that i was a ceo of a company”, he answers before he toes off his dress shoes and walks in what you were sure to be a kitchen.

you follow him, slowly observing the ginormous living room that you find yourself into, before stopping in front of the big window. his condo had to be the best in the whole of seoul, because the view that you are looking at right now is enough to leave you breathless. thousands of lights from all across the seoul make it look like the night sky.

after a minute you ask him “why didn’t you tell me what you really do? there wasn’t really a reason to hide something like that so i assume that you had a bigger reason for not telling me.”, you turn your head back to be able to see him clearly.

he stops pouring you two drinks for a moment, looks upwards with furrowed eyebrows for a moment, before looking at you with and with upmost sincerity answers “you just didn’t seem like the type of person who would care about things like that.”, he turns his head back to the glasses in front of him before he continues “plus, i was sitting in front of the most beautiful woman i have ever seen, i much rather talk about you and get to know you than talk about my boring work.”, he chuckles as he finishes his thought.

his answer was so simple, yet it got your breath catching in your throat.

you can’t remember the last time somebody really cared about you and who wanted to get to know you, to learn about all the little things about you.

your gaze finally falls on seungcheol’s back again, and on your artwork.

you feel the heat on your cheeks worsen, the longer you look at the marks on his big and muscular back. the heat to your face isn’t the only thing that looking at his back brings to you, but the memories of last night as well.

although your eyes are focused on the view in front of you, you can feel that seungcheol was walking slowly towards you, until he was standing directly behind you. slowly, you see his hand appear in front of your face, holding a glass of water. carefully, you take it from his hand, saying a quiet “thank you” before taking a little sip of the water.

you gently put the glass on the little table holding a vase to your left, before looking in front of you again.

ever so slowly, you feel him inch closer to you, until your back is brushing his firm chest. his smell has your mind clouded-he smells so good, not too strong like most men do, but just enough to have you taking a deeper whiff of it. such a pleasant smell, it had your eyelids closing in satisfaction on their own.

ever so lightly he places his hand in your hip, his hold on it getting firmer with each slow second. at this simple touch you find yourself gasping lowly, goosebumps raising on the skin of your arms.

you can tell by the precision of his moves and how he takes his time with each action of his what kind of lover he is. the type to make you feel safe and relaxed. the type that would put your pleasure in the first place. the gentle but firm type.

the type to be the best you have ever had.

another step, and his entire front is touching your entire back. there isn’t an inch of you that isn’t touching him. you can feel his breath on the back of your head, and your own coming to a still stand in your throat.

slowly, he moves his head until it’s right there, to your right. he lets his head dip a little lower, so his nose is grazing the skin of your shoulder and ever so lightly, takes a deep breath of your smell.

he inhales deeply, at the end of it a little groan rumbling in his chest. he then lets his instincts take over-slowly, he moves his head so his nose travels across your shoulder, up your neck (where for a few milliseconds you feel his lips brush across your skin too, making you gasp quietly), across your jawline, until his lips are right by your ear.

in what must be the deepest voice you have ever heard from a man, he whispers, “tell me to stop…”, he pauses, letting go of his self control for a moment and letting his lips leave a little kiss on the edge of your jawline, before he continues “…and i will stop”.

gone were all the thoughts from your head, which is probably why you find your head falling back on his shoulder, eyes closing on their own, feeling the lack of the air in your lungs getting to your head, and breathlessly, you say “don’t stop, please”.

which seemed to be enough for him, because in the next second he’s directing your face to his own with two fingers and kissing you like he’s dying, and you are the only antidote that could save him.

his tongue massages your own in such a meticulous manner, that it made a little moan escape you. quickly, you break the kiss for the second it takes you to turn around in his hold, not even realising that he now had both of his arms wrapped around your stomach, and kissing him with what must look like desperation to anybody else.

he sucks on your top lip for a bit, before he deepens your kiss, his hand flying up to hold your jaw in place, slowly turning your head a bit to the side so he can get even deeper.

you seem to be out of your mind, because your hand-all on its own- grabs ahold of his other hand that is resting on your back, and places it on the back of your head.

seeing what you probably must’ve wanted, seungcheol takes a second to push his hand into your hair. and then he pulls on it ever so lightly.

and then you moan loudly in his mouth.

and that seems to do it for him, because he groans deeply at your moan, before he breaks a kiss harshly to grab ahold of your thighs and pick you up as if you weighed nothing.

the action got you gasping, your legs automatically wrapping themselves around his hips. but before you had the time to tell him to put you down and that “you were too heavy”, he’s right back, kissing you like he was starving for it-starving for you.

with ease, he turns around and starts walking down the hall. but since he’s only a man, he gets a bit carried away, having to stop and push you against the wall, his kisses now fast and almost animalistic, travelling from your mouth, across your cheek and down your throat. at one harsher kiss to your skin on the neck, you let out a louder moan, which only fuelled his desire, his kisses getting faster, harsher, his tongue touching your skin with his open mouth kisses, the hold he had on your thighs getting tighter.

you couldn’t remember the last time you felt this wet, this satisfied, this hungry for more from a kiss alone. out of the window went all of your consciousness, your thoughts, the only thing that you knew at that moment were seungcheol and that you wanted him. more than you have ever wanted anything else.

gasping while he continues to attack your neck and collarbones, you moan a simple “more”.

and who was seungcheol to deprive his lady of what she wanted?

taking ahold of his actions, he gets a better grasp on your thighs, before he pushes you two away from the wall. in five big steps, he’s in front of his bedroom door, pushing them opened harshly with his foot, carrying you inside, before letting go of one of your legs to slam the door shut, all while still kissing you.

the thoughts that were playing in your mind like a movie got you slapping your face with both hands, covering your whole face with them.

not being able to sit still anymore, you gut up and out of the bed, quickly picking up a random shirt from the chair that was by the door, and out of the room.

you find yourself a bit lost, before you see the door to your left, on which stoop a sign that said “bathroom”. quickly, you run into the room and close the door behind yourself.

breathing out a sigh of relief, you look around to see just how ridiculously expensive the bathroom must look like.

and without any disappointment, the bathroom looks like it came straight out of somebody’s pinterest board- a big white bathtub to the left, to the right what must be the biggest shower you have ever seen, a toilet to the left in front of you, and a mirror so big there wouldn’t be a wall big enough to hang it in your own apartment. the tiles of the whole bathroom were this nice shade of beige, creating a harmony with the white furniture of the room.

noticing how badly you need to relieve yourself, you do yourself before getting up to wash your hands. as you finish, you look up to see just how bad your makeup must look.

and you gasp. because your whole neck is covered in hickeys, bigger part of them looking like they are connecting, making it look like one giant purple hickey that’s wrapped around your whole neck.

you just stand there for a second, in a loss for words as to how bad it looks. if you saw this sight on anybody else, you would think that they got mauled by a bear or some wild animal of sorts.

looking at the hickeys on your body got you blushing, and even more so as you remember how they came to be.

ever so gently, seungcheol puts you down on his big and fluffy bed. putting you down seemed to be the only thing he was going to do gently, because the very next second he’s basically pouncing on you, the kiss continuing after a brief moment it took him to lay you down. you feel his tongue battle with your own, before he pulls on your bottom lip with his own lips, lightly biting it to tease you just a little bit.

his hands go from resting next to your head to caressing your body, until they reach the hem of your dress. he breaks the kiss apart, starting to ask “can i-“.

but before he can finish the sentence, you are whining in his face, glossy eyes looking up at him “take it off, please, take it off take it off, please please please-“.

your begging seems to make him lose his mind just a bit more. quickly and with no care, as if he’s just as desperate to have this tight dress off of your body, he switches his hold to the straps of your dresss, harshly pulling it down your arms and chest, over your waist and over your hips, before giving it one final pull over your legs and tossing it over his shoulder.

for a moment, he sits on his heels and just observes you. he feels his chest tightening due to lack of oxygen, his heart beating so fast he thinks it could stop any moment.

your curves would get him kneeling in front of you if he wasn’t already doing so. and the little two piece lingerie- god, help him, for he is about to sin, big time.

he wanted to look at this sight for a bit longer, to have it embedded in his mind forever, but it seems that his girl is a bit impatient, because he feels your hand harshly pulling on his shirt and feels himself falling down on you before the sound of your whining even has the time to hit the shell of his ear.

you kiss him desperately, your hands everywhere- in his hair, on the nape of his neck, across his shoulders and scratching on his back.

all while whining and moaning in his mouth.

god help cheol if he wasn’t about to cum just from the pretty sounds you were making for him.

seeing as you weren’t willing to let him go, or stop kissing him for that matter, seungcheol opts to multitask and take his shirt off while still kissing you. the moment its off, your hands seem to have a mind of their own, travelling all over his back and shoulders before straying to his front, your firm touch traveling from his stomach to his chest.

deciding that he can’t wait anymore, he pulls on your underwear harshly, making them fly over his shoulder too, before he lets his lips leave open-mouth kisses over your neck, collarbones, chest, stopping for a bit to give you nipples a little nibble over your lacy bra, over your tummy, on your hip.

before he knows it, he finds himself laying between your legs, looking up at you through his thick eyelashes, his gaze hot enough to burn your skin.

he gently takes your thighs in his hands, before putting them on his shoulders. before he can even utter the words, you nod your head vigorously and enthusiastically, feeling your legs shake slightly at anticipation.

and then his mouth is on you. and you gasp.

he licks one long stripe from your hole to your clit, which he proceeds to suck onto lightly, making your hips buckle. his tongue then starts to lap at it, leaving little kitten licks on your clit.

your hand instinctively fly to his beautiful luscious hair, pulling on it, trying to getting him even closer if possible.

understanding what you want, seungcheol then lowers his mouth a bit, probing and pushing at your hole, twisting his tongue when entering you in ways you couldn’t think were humanly possible, sucking on your entrance every time before his tongue enters you again.

it’s embarrassing to admit, but you can confidently say that you have never been this close to the finish this fast.

which is why you try to pull him away by your hold on his hair. but he ignores your tugging, instead lets one of his hands that’s been holding your thigh travel up and take hold of one of your hands, before intertwining your hands and letting them rest on your hip.

such a simple action but it got your heart feeling so warm, you can for sure say that nobody ever made you feel this way by a simple action such as this one.

feeling your finish approaching quickly, you try to warn him, but he just looks at you with what looked like to be completely black eyes sternly, almost as if he was saying “don’t you dare stop me”.

and who were you to do as much?

suddenly, like a big wave, you feel the euphoria hit you, you back leaving the mattress, the hold you had on his hand and his hair tightening to the point you were sure must’ve hurt him, your thighs locking, squishing his face between them, all while moaning so loudly you were sure his neighbours were about to hate you.

seungcheol just continues to lap at your hole, drinking up every little drop of your cum as if it were nectar, closing his eyes in enjoyment, groaning as he makes sure to drink up everything you were giving him.

after a minute, you start feeling a bit overstimulated, whining in protest, which was seungcheol’s cue to stop. slowly detangling himself from your legs, he slowly climbs back up before he’s kissing you, your own taste greeting you on his tongue.

seungcheol breaks the kiss apart for a moment, his eyes as dark as night as he looks you directly in the eyes, before he asks you.

“are you ready to give me more, pretty girl?”

you again cover your blushing face with your hands, peeking just a bit between your fingers to look at yourself in the mirror.

seungcheol is so perfect, in every way possible, that you weren’t sure that he was real. maybe he was just a speck of your imagination, something you made up in your mind to make yourself feel better about your love life.

your hands slowly slide down your face as the reality of the situation starts to hit you, a sour look overtaking your expression.

seungcheol was so perfect. too perfect for you to have him.

knowing that talking to him again will just add salt to the injury, that it will make you realise just how out of your league he is, you decide that sneaking off would be for the best, for the both of you. after all, this was probably just a one time thing for him.

you bend down to pick up the shirt that you took from his room to put on until you find your dress, when suddenly, you feel a sharp cramp in your thighs, making you gasp.

you knew that you two went quite hard at it last night, but you didn’t think it would make walking hard for you the next day.

shyly, you peek at your thighs to see just how irritated the skin must look like, the recollection of the encounter yet again clouding your mind.

as you kiss, you feel one of his hands reach to the side before you hear him fumble with something, breaking the kiss so you both look at him struggling to find the condom in his nightstand.

after a few seconds he finally pulls out a pack, taking one out of the bunch before he pulls back entirely, sitting on his heels.

carefully he unbuttons his pants, pulling them and his underwear just enough for his cock go be freed. and oh god, if that wasn’t the biggest one you have ever had, he was so big and thick, it made goosebumps appear on your skin in anticipation. he rips the packaging with his teeth, and rolls it on himself, all while he still keeps the eye contact going.

seungcheol then lowers himself back onto you, before he teases your folds with his fingers.

in a raspy voice he says “your pussy got me so drunk that i forgot that i need to prep you before i fuck you”, and then he pushes one of his thick fingers in your hole, your gasp so loud in your own ears that normally it would make you feel embarrassed. he then continues “wouldn’t want to hurt my pretty girl when I’m supposed to be making you feel good, hm?”, he finishes and pushes another finger on the next time he pushes back inside of you.

if you had any mental strength left, you would’ve answered him, but there was literally nothing going on in your head other than how good his fingers felt, massaging your walls, scissoring you,his tumb gently massaging your clit in slow circles, pushing and pulling his fingers in a slow but steady pace, ever so often the til of his fingers grazing your g spot, making you moan in his face.

he fingers you as if he had tons of experience with your body, like he already knew how you liked it. and he does it all while looking at your face, his forehead slowly coming down to rest on your own.

after what you felt must’ve been hours when in reality it was just a few minutes, he seemed to be satisfied, pulling his fingers out completely.

and then he pushed the very same fingers inside of his mouth, eyebrows furrowing and eyes closing at your taste, humming in satisfaction as he licks his fingers clean.

you feel yourself clench as you watch him suck on his fingers. he looked like a god as he did it- his hair now messy and fluffy thanks to you, his expression looks like he’s having the best meal of his life, his tan skin glistening with sweat, his naked chest raising as he breathes in and out.

he looked so divine, it made you go just a little bit insane. just a bit.

he opens his dark eyes again, his face turning somewhat serious. seungcheol then slowly lowers himself down again, caging your head with his forearms that come to rest next to your head, making your entire focus shift to his eyes.

without much thought, you wrap your arms around his back, your legs locking themselves around his hips.

in the corner of your eye you see him his hand disappearing down, before you feel his cock teasing your folds, his head catching on your clit when he goes to pull it down back your folds. you gasp at this action, you eyes wanting to close themselves all on their own but your mind makes them stay open as you don’t want to miss a single thing.

his free hand comes to your face, pushing your hair back a little bit, before his tumb comes to wipe your bottom lip, your lips falling open on their own.

seungcheol caresses your cheek with the same tumb, and with gentle eyes and voice asks “ready?”.

to which you only nod your head slightly.

he smiles slightly before he lightly pinches your cheek “use your words, baby. i need to know you are 100% sure about this.”

a whispered ‘yes’ falls out of your mouth, your eyes in a trance with his own, the only things you are able to focus on are those chocolate orbs of his.

and then he’s pushing inside of you.

you both gasp at the burn, having difficulties fitting him inside of your tight hole.

his gasp turns into a rough growl, deeply saying “fuck, so tight, baby, you need to relax for me, otherwise i could hurt you”.

you try to listen to him, taking a deep breath in and out. kind of at the same time you both look down between yourselves.

only to see that he has only pushed his tip inside of you.

dear lord, may he help you survive this night.

as a minute passes by, you feel yourself slowly relax, seungcheol pushes himself a little bit more every few seconds until he’s completely bottoms out, his hips now touching yours.

he gives you a minute to relax, his hand gently rubbing your cheek, eyes lovingly looking at you.

as you give him a slight nod with your head, he slowly pulls out, before pushing back. he sets a slow pace for the start, carefully looking at your face for signs of discomfort, making your heart clench at his little signs of affection.

the pace continues for a few minutes, the thickness of his cock and how it massages your insides making you moan and him groan.

feeling like its not enough, you whine a little ‘more’ to him.

which was either the biggest mistake or the best decision of your life.

he quickens the movement of his hips slightly, the slapping of skin against skin now being added to the harmony that your moans and his groans were making.

his breath starts coming out heavier, the air that leaves his mouth lightly hitting your face as he’s fucking you.

you whine every time he pulls his hips back and moan every time he pushes them back, his cock repeatedly hitting your sweet spot.

but it seems like you are so desperate for more, so insatiable, that you pull him closer to you with your hold around his shoulders, his face falling in the curve where your neck meets your shoulders, your own doing the very same, whining “more, please, give me more, i want more, please please please-“ directly in his ear, your eyes closing in pleasure.

seungcheol stops for second, making you whine in disappointment, takes ahold of your thighs to hitch your legs higher on his hips.

and then he doubles the speed of his hips.

he sets an insane pace, his hips slapping against the back of your thighs, groans and deep moans falling out of his mouth. his dick feels so big, his head repeatedly hitting your spot, making your moans border on screams.

you can’t remember the last time you got fucked this good, and you were sure this will stay in your memory forever.

seungcheol continues with his merciless pace, your muscles clenching around him which in return makes him make more of those beautiful noises.

“you like that, baby? fuck, the noises you make- you are driving me insane. your pussy feels so tight- fuck, i can barely fit. and it’s so wet i- jesus. is this all for me? hm? so wet, just for me baby? fuck, i could fuck you for the rest of my life, never want to stop, want my dick inside of you all the time. you’d like that, wouldn’t you pretty girl? fuck- such a good girl-“

he continues to praise you and talk about you good you feel, how you are being such a good girl for him, and normally you would answer.

(un)fortunately, you have zero thoughts going on in your mind, only able to moan in his ear while he kisses and bites your shoulder, neck and collarbones, the sting barely noticeable in comparison to the slapping of the skin you feel on the back of your thighs. with extra effort, you successfully say through a moan “more, please, gimme more”.

seungcheol growls at this, before he pulls out completely out of you. he then harshly pulls you by your thighs and turns you over, pulling your hips up before you even have the time to let out a gasp. your chest that are now lacking all the air are touching the mattress while your ass is in the air, fully exposed to seungcheol’s eyes.

without any warning he slaps your right ass cheek, something between a scream and a moan flying out of your mouth. not giving you any time to even process the action, he’s already pushing his cock back inside of you, the new angle making the stretch feel even more delicious.

“fuck, my girl is so desperate huh? so desperate for this cock, moaning so prettily for me. fuck, you are going to be the death of me, you and this pussy”.

he basically lays himself on top of you, covering your whole body with his own, his firm chest pressed in your back, before he resumes his quick pace.

seungcheol pounds into you, so much so that you feel your pussy burn from the force of his hips that are slapping against it.

he continues to praise you but unfortunately you don’t hear anything anymore, only things that you can focus on is the delicious stretch of his dick and how it’s repeatedly hitting your g spot.

feeling your finish approaching quicker than expected, you moan out “im coming im coming im comi-“.

seeing that he is in the same boat, seungcheol groans in your ear, his hand quickly finding your own and intertwining your hands. squeezing your hands tightly, he growls in your ear “cum. cum for me pretty girl, fuck- make a mess on this dick”.

he uses his free hand to find your clit and rub it quickly.

and then you are screaming in pleasure. you feel your walls squeezing him harder than ever, milking him dry, which triggers his own release, a deep moan rumbling in his chest against your own back.

he fucks your slowly through both of your orgasms, your mind so cloudy that you don’t even feel the bite on your shoulder that he had to do in order to quiet down his own moans.

after a minute you feel your thighs shake slightly from overstimulation, lightly tapping him on his arm to stop, and he does. he stays inside as he uses his hand to slightly rub the side of your thigh in comfort.

as you try to regain your breath, you feel seungcheol kiss your cheek lightly like a feather, before he asks.

“ready to give me one more, baby?”

your cheeks burn as your thoughts take over your mind again. quickly shaking them off, you pull on the shirt over your head before leaving the bathroom.

as quietly as possible, you enter seungcheol’s room to find him still sleeping on his stomach, his back turned to you. sighing in relief, you make a quick search for your things.

as you pull on your dress from last night, you grimace at the fact that you will have to wear the same pair of panties from last night.

as you make sure that you have all of your things, you slowly head for the doors.

until a voice behind you stops you.

“leaving already?”.

you stop in your tracks before slowly turning around to see seungcheol looking at you through puffy eyes.

“yknow, if you wanted to leave in the morning, you could’ve just told me that last night, i would’ve prepared a car to drive you back, but i was under the impression that you were going to stay and have a breakfast with me”, he finishes as he lightly rubs his face.

you quickly look down, embarrassment and guilt washing over your face. you did want to stay, you wanted to stay for as long as he would let you, but you weren’t sure if that would be okay for him, or if you even deserved it.

seeing the expression on your face, seungcheol then asks, barely above the whisper, pleading looking at you.

“stay? please?”.

you quickly look up to see his gentle eyes, before you answer unsurely.

“would that really be okay with you? it’s just- i wasn’t sure if you wanted this to be a one time thing only or-or maybe- well, something more, so uh, i thought it be better to just leave a-and i-“

as you ramble, seungcheol feels his lips betray him as a small smile slowly gets bigger and bigger the longer you talk. deciding to make this easier for the both of you, he interrupts you.

“baby?”

you look at him with red cheeks, all and every thought you had evaporating from your mind.

seeing that he got your attention, he continues.

“take that dress off and get back in here, i want cuddles…and maybe something more.”

and who were you to deny him anything?

[roosterr]

murphy's law

a/n: ive had this idea in my head for a while so i decided to dump it out of my brain for all of you to enjoy. somewhat inspired by lunarvicar's amazing wonderful fic to the flame i really love her writing so check it out yo also i haven't written anything in years so cut me some slack :')

pairing: captain john price x gn!reader

summary: when a simple mission goes south, you get left behind in the confusion. you just can't seem to catch a break.

no use of y/n, callsign is 'vantage'

no physical description, but reader is (very) vaguely implied to be shorter than price

warnings: descriptions of injury (nothing too graphic), canon-typical violence, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, minor character death, i don't know how the military works lmao, lots of swearing bc i can't help myself

word count: 8.6k

read it on ao3 here

✹✹✹

it was a straightforward mission; in and out, grab what you need, and you'd be home in time for dinner. nothing you hadn't handled before.

ghost and price were on overwatch; the lieutenant was positioned with his rifle on a rooftop across the street, whilst the captain stayed in the suv with a laptop to keep an eye on the surveillance cameras around the exterior of the building.

you'd had your eyes on this intel for months now, biding your time and waiting for the perfect moment to strike. your opening had finally arrived, and with all that time spent planning, it was going so well.

that should have been the first red flag.

the second, more apparent, warning sign was that anything you found as you, gaz, and soap swept the building was either something you already knew, or irrelevant. how was that possible? the location of this facility was a heavily guarded secret, you'd fought tooth and nail to find it; why spend so much effort hiding something which had such little value?

you'd ventured to the second floor, up the damp stairwell and further into the eerily quiet building. there must be something worth hiding here, you just had to find it. you certainly weren't planning on going home empty handed.

you paused your movement into the dark, staring down the empty corridor through the sights of your gun. you felt your stomach turn, and swallow down the sick taste of bile in your throat. for everything you'd done to get here…

it was going so… well.

bringing your hand to the radio on your chest, you don't bother to calm the shake in your voice before speaking.

"does this feel off to anyone–"

you're cut off by price's shouting, a twinge of panic in his voice you aren't used to hearing from him.

"fuck– it's an ambush! get out of there, now!"

you're about to respond, when you hear gunshots from below you. soap and gaz were downstairs, where the hostiles were pouring into the building, and you were on your own upstairs.

the shots from ghost's rifle make your ears ring, even from across the street.

"vantage, get yer arse down here, there's too many of 'em!" soap's yelling brings you out of your haze, and you can't find the energy to respond as you take off running, back to the stairs you came up. "shit– man down! gaz is hit! they're coming up, vantage!"

you just about register what he said when the door to the stairway bursts open only a few metres ahead of you. diving into the nearest open room, you narrowly avoid a bullet to the gut, and slam the door shut behind you.

shit. fuck. fucking shit.

you counted at least four hostiles up here, and with gaz injured, soap would most likely be dragging him back to the suv you all arrived in, where price was waiting, which meant…

you really were alone.

well, ghost was out there, but he was a man of self preservation. he wouldn't risk coming in here to save you. not when you were this fucked.

your chest felt tight, now, and you could hear the enemies shouting on the other side of the wall. come on, you plead with yourself, do something!

snapping your head to look around the room you'd trapped yourself in, your eyes linger on the filing cabinets lining the wall next to you. you can drag them over here, barricade the door. 

prolong your survival, or delay the inevitable.

you hadn't noticed how hard your nails were digging into your palms until you went to grip the cabinet. the half-moon divots stung against the cool metal as you heaved it in front of the door.

now the hostiles are outside, rattling the wall with their attempts to kick the door down.

you drag another one, for safe measure. you pray they'll be heavy enough.

through the blood rushing in your ears, you can just about make out price's voice.

"vantage, answer me dammit! what is your bloody status!"

"i'm good– i'm good," you manage to get out between pants, never once taking your eyes off the door. willing your heartbeat to slow down. "not injured, just– stuck in a room upstairs."

"that doesn't sound good to me."

it all went quiet when he spoke to you. at first you thought it was just because your focus had shifted– because it was him– but it really was quiet now.

"yeah, i… they're– wait, they're not at the door anymore, they…"

hold on.

what?

"ghost, you got eyes? what's happenin' over there?" there's a sense of urgency to your captain's voice, and for a single selfish moment, you think he might be worried for you beyond that of a just soldier. your frenzied mind lingers on that thought.

the gruff voice of ghost brings you back to reality,

"they're setting charges– vantage, you need to find a way out."

charges. explosives.

all you can muster is a half-hearted, "shit…"

deep down, you know that isn't going to happen. you wouldn't have time to run down the stairs, and even if you did you'd only be walking right into their bullets. there's nothing they can do to help. and you think, deep down, they know that too.

this is it, then, you think to yourself, am i really going to die like this?

and for another fleeting moment, you're filled with regret that you would never get to see john's face again. all the stolen glances, lingering touches, inside jokes; none of it would ever amount to anything. would he remember you? would he even come back for your dog tags?

the tightness is back in your heart, but it's different this time.

your eyes still don't leave the door as your back hits the wall. the faint moonlight gives the room a soft glow, serene, and your heart sinks further into your stomach.

the moonlight;

the window, the outside.

not an ideal escape route, but these were hardly ideal circumstances.

you didn't waste a second with hesitation and backed up for a running start. you thank every deity you can think of that you always insisted on wearing a helmet.

this was going to hurt, but it was better than the alternative.

"van, you have to get out, please!" you're not even sure who's talking in your ear anymore, but you know who you want it to be.

for him, you think to yourself, i have to make it back to him.

with a deep breath, you take off into a sprint, tucking your head into your elbow and diving shoulder first through the glass.

as you free fall out the second storey window, you think you hear john calling your name, your real name, and you think you feel a flutter in your chest. it was almost peaceful.

and then you hit the ground.

with a thump and a sickening crack, you rolled unceremoniously and ended up on your side, in the snowy alleyway behind the building you were just trapped in; the building that was about to be demolished. your elbow muffled your pained cry.

right, explosives, the reason you jumped to begin with.

your teammates are still going berserk in your ear, yelling at each other or you or both, but you can't bring yourself to respond. you could answer them once you were a safe distance away– and when you could breathe without heaving. as you stand, swaying on your feet, you feel your ribs shift in a way they definitely aren't supposed to, filling you once again with the innate urge to vomit.

but you swallow that down; it'll have to wait, you need to get as far away as possible, now.

your hands braced your broken ribs– and you notice, then, that your shoulder is killing you too– as you stumble down another alley, leading away from the building. you slip and almost fall on the untouched snow, but somehow manage to catch yourself. in the back of your mind, you notice you lost your rifle at some point. you'd have to survive with just your pistol.

for a moment, you almost felt that you'd gotten away, that you'd made the perfect escape.

of course, it was too perfect.

the charges finally went off. you were thrown forward, and despite your helmet, everything went black.

✹✹✹

your ribs flared with agony at the ragged breath you took, blinking your eyes open as consciousness returned to you. darkness swarmed your vision, contrasting the pure white of the snow that was slowly freezing your extremities, and you fought with every bit of self-restraint you had not to cry. your eyes stung anyway.

how long were you out? you were still in the alley, and you hadn't been found by anyone yet, so it couldn't have been long. i need to move, is the only thought swirling in your head. with what little strength you could muster, you rolled yourself onto your back to look at the ruins behind you.

dust filled the air and coated everything in sight, obscuring your vision almost fully; but what you could make out, was the lights from your enemy's guns as they swept the rubble.

looking for you, presumably.

shit shit shit.

you had god knows how many broken ribs, your shoulder was fucked, and now your vision was swimming, and to top it all off you could barely hear yourself think over the violent ringing in your ears. this night just kept getting better and better.

it took everything in you not to scream at the agony as you dragged yourself behind a fallen dumpster, sitting up against the cold brick of the building behind you in an attempt to catch your breath.

in. out. in. out.

in.

out.

every move had your bones creaking in protest, the longer you sat here the more you felt every little cut and bruise and shard of glass littering your body. the dust in the air tickled your throat and threatened to make you cough up a lung, spots in your vision danced like fireflies, luring you back into the clutches of sleep.

no… i can't rest yet, you urged yourself to fight your drooping eyelids, i have to get back to the suv… they're waiting… for me…

the crunch of debris under heavy boots snaps you back to the present.

someone was approaching.

the optimist in you wanted to believe it was price, coming to rescue you. but you couldn't take that chance. your hand grips the pistol on your hip, drawing it out slowly to make as little noise as possible.

the shadowed figure came stumbling into view. your arm straightened to aim at their unprotected head, eyes wide and breathing laboured.

the man– the boy– locked eyes with you, flinging himself backwards to the wall opposite you with his hands held high.

your expression hardened. he was your enemy. his uniform made that clear. for a moment, neither of you moved, you weren't even sure if he was breathing anymore. like two wild animals, locked in a staredown, each of you waiting for the other to make the first move. which one of you was the hunter, and which one was the prey?

shooting him will draw his comrades over here. sparing him means he can call them over himself. a lose-lose.

lost in your internal debate as you stare at him, you vaguely notice his hand lowering to his belt, and in a moment of panic, your heart clenches in time with your finger to deliver a shot right between his eyes.

his body slid down the wall, a perfect mirror of your own as the life fades from his expression.

shit. again.

his friends must’ve heard that. with renewed, adrenaline fueled vigour, you scramble across the alley, and begin rifling through the packs on his chest and belt.

a twinge of guilt fills you as you notice his empty holsters. he wasn't even armed.

shaking your head, you find what you're looking for; a morphine shot. at least, that's what it looked like, the words on the label were swimming with the concussion you surely had. it would have to do.

you take the syringe carefully, and stick the end into the muscle of your thigh, through a rip in your pants you hadn't noticed before, and inject the solution. it would take a minute to kick in, but hopefully the painkiller would help you at least make it back to the suv where your team was waiting.

where price was waiting. god you hoped they were okay, him especially, though he was probably in the least danger of you all. what you wouldn't give to have stayed in the car with him.

pocketing the empty syringe, you spare another glance at the boy's face. his wide, lifeless eyes. the pack he was reaching for. the same one you found the morphine in.

he… was going to help you. and you'd killed him.

oh god. the realisation has your stomach turning for the third time that day.

you pressed his eyes shut and pushed yourself to stand. as you trudge your way to the far end of the alley, you keep your eyes forward. there wasn't time to linger.

with a deep breath, you steel yourself and begin to make your way through the cold, abandoned streets of the small town. the suv wasn't far, only a couple blocks away. it wouldn't take you long to get there, even with your injuries.

somewhere in the distance, you could hear terrified screaming, presumably the residents who were forced awake by the sound of the explosion.

now that the ringing had died down, you realise that you hadn't heard your teammates in a while. absent-mindedly, you bring a hand up to press the comms, and you almost start talking before you feel the plastic crunch under your fingers.

"oh for fucks sake."

of fucking course your radio was broken. it must have been crushed when you were flung forward by the explosion.

brilliant.

whatever, the suv would be in your sight soon anyway, you don't need it.

the cover of night made it significantly easier to hobble through the streets unseen, thanks to your all black gear. the enemy were still hovering around the destroyed building, but at least that meant they thought you were buried under there. hopefully they would stay distracted long enough for you to make it back.

god, fuck, you really couldn't wait to get back to base. you desperately needed a shower hot enough to melt your skin to scrub off all the dirt and blood from your body. the morphine had started to kick in now, but you still felt your ribs shift unnaturally with every heavy step. you'd definitely need a few weeks off to recover from this one, and you’d probably get an earful from the captain. you’d kill to hear his voice right now, even if he was yelling at you for being an idiot.

only a little further. then you’d be back with the safety of your team, with this godforsaken place in the rear view mirror. with the promise of being able to rest, your limbs seemed to grow heavier as the exhaustion finally made its way into your bones.

except, when you turn the final corner, you freeze, an ice-cold dread sweeping through your veins.

the car was gone.

it wasn’t there.

they weren’t there.

there was a stretch of tarmac that fresh snow just beginning to fall had yet to cover, tire-tracks that showed the u-turn the suv had done, blood on the snow from– you assume– gaz, empty bullet casings from the fight they put up.

but no suv.

no teammates.

no john.

no. no, no no no. they couldn’t have left you. that wasn’t how you did things in the 141. it was no man left behind, you knew that. maybe they’re just circling the area, you rationalised, desperately trying to calm your ragged breathing, yeah, they went to look for me. they wouldn’t leave me behind.

but they weren't here.

and as you followed the tire-tracks down the street, they didn’t go back into the town. they made a straight line, directly to the dirt track leading into the wilderness, clear as day in the snow. back the way you had all gotten here earlier that night.

your knees dampen from the snow, the painkiller in your system keeping you from feeling the impact. when did you fall over? there was no attempt to stop the searing hot tears this time as they ran through the dirt caked to your face. your throat constricted, lifting a hand to your mouth to muffle your hyperventilating.

they were gone.

long gone, without you.

they really had left you behind.

a mumble from somewhere to your left interrupts your breakdown. grief morphs into blinding rage for a split second; can i get a fucking break? you swing your arm still holding the pistol to point at whoever was watching you, twisting your abdomen in a way that has you gritting your teeth.

a woman, clutching her young son, shielding his eyes and ears from you.

you lower your gun. that’s not a mistake you’ll make twice. catching her eyes, you gesture for her to be quiet, which is quickly met with her frantic nodding.

it reminds you, you’re still not safe here. you were supposed to be, but hey, it looks like plans change. no man left behind– what a load of horseshit. you push yourself onto shaky legs, you only had a few hours until the morphine wore off, and you needed to be out of here before that happened. as fast as you could possibly muster, you begin to stumble towards the dirt track that disappears into the treeline, following the slowly disappearing tire-tracks.

✹✹✹

you managed to make it into the woods faster than you expected, and you found a fallen tree slightly off the path to take shelter behind while you licked your wounds. literal and metaphorical.

this was unbelievable. how could they leave you like that? if they’d only taken the time to do a quick lap of the building, they would’ve found you laying face down in the snow, and this whole mess could have been avoided. where were they off to in such a hurry anyway? it’s not like you guys had found anything sensitive. 

oh, wait. gaz was shot. that had briefly slipped your mind. perhaps you were being a little selfish by getting so worked up by this, but then again, for all they knew you could have been in the same condition– or worse. they…

your breath hitched. and not from your injuries.

they thought you were dead. that would make sense, in the chaos of everything, and amidst your panic, you didn’t really do a good job keeping up with answering your comms. still though, you were definitely going to rip them all a new one when you got back; or maybe it would be the other way around.

either way, you couldn’t sit here and dwell on it all night. you needed to make it to the safehouse before they flew back to base. if you missed them this time, you really were well and truly fucked.

✹✹✹

"i've gotta be at least half-way by now," you lament, flopping down against another tree with a grunt in an attempt to calm the burning in your legs and chest. the morphine had worn off about a few hours ago, and you were finally feeling all the bleeding wounds you'd ignored before. nothing lethal, you hoped, aside from your shoulder, ribs, and splitting headache, it was mostly just a lot of glass in your skin.

when you left the town, it must have been just past midnight, and at this pace it would be well after morning before you made it back. you could just about see the first signs of dawn poking through the cloud layer.

the snow had gotten heavier, casting a haze over the horizon, but it hadn't escalated into a storm yet. even under all your gear, the cold was starting to bite at your limbs. your lack of gloves was a decision you were coming to regret; if you lost any fingers because of this you really were going to kill price.

"fuck, he thinks i'm dead…" you groan as you stare up at the sky. snowflakes catch in your eyelashes and threaten to freeze the tears as they well up in your eyes. was he as distraught as you currently were, you wonder? was he even moved at all, or were you just another soldier, just more paperwork he had to fill out?

being in love with your captain was so, so difficult. a mistake, most would say, and you used to tell yourself the same thing. but after knowing him, seeing the vulnerable parts of him he keeps closely guarded, you can't bring yourself to care. seeing his expression when you gifted him the cigars you bought for him, learning his favourite drink when you all went out after missions, trading stories over paperwork in his office late at night. even after everything you've been through together, you know, in your heart, he doesn't feel the same; he's your superior, you're his sergeant, and he is nothing if not an honest man. it can never work between you two. but despite it all, the only regret you have as you sit bleeding in the snow, is that you never told him how you felt.

please, don't leave me here… 

in the back of your mind, you know they wouldn't go home without at least id-ing your body, but you were so shaken by the ongoing near death experience that your train of thought wasn't making much sense anymore.

the distant whirr of a helicopter snapped you back to reality. maybe it was… no, the 141 didn't have a helicopter here, which could only mean it was a hostile one. fucking fantastic. where you were slumped was right at the edge of the road, with very little cover from above. you needed to move further off the path, under the protection of the forest canopy.

with a laboured grunt, you pulled yourself back onto your feet, using the tree behind you as a crutch until you could catch your breath again. the helicopter was getting nearer now, close enough that you could almost make out the spotlight through the falling snow.

a brief jog was all you could manage to get away from the road. the snow wasn't deep enough to leave tracks that would be noticeable from the air, not through the shade of darkness. you still as the helicopter passes overhead. there's no change in its course, and you huff a breath of relief. at least you wouldn't have to try and outrun a chopper.

you watch the helicopter's silhouette fade into the night sky. there was nothing to do but carry on. you needed to get to the safehouse.

this was going to be a long night.

✹✹✹

hours, it had been hours since you first set off, so long in fact that it was essentially daytime. the sun hadn't fully risen, casting the world in a dim light that was just dark enough to keep you tripping over roots and holes in the ground.

the snow had let up a while ago, but the overcast clouds had stayed, the perfect match to your steadily declining mood. you thought you felt like shit earlier? if only you could have predicted how much worse it would get. you were acclimated to the pain by now, it reduced to a constant throbbing where your bones were broken. perhaps the icy temperature around you was numbing your injuries; it was either that or the shock.

ahead, you recognised a set of worn tire-tracks making a hard turn through a gap in the forest. there was no way of knowing it was the right way, but a spark of optimism ignites in your chest. maybe you were finally getting close. you just had to pray that your sense of direction was good enough to be leading you in the right direction.

you were right on top of the tracks now, and upon closer inspection, the pattern of the treads might just match the ones on the suv; you've had to fix that damn car so many times you'd know it in your sleep. they were messy, the snow making it hard to pick out, but you needed the hope right now.

this had to be them.

you go to continue down the clear path, to follow where your team had gone, but your luck just doesn't improve.

the mud slides under your foot, catching your ankle and toppling you in your attempt to struggle through. the breath is forced from your lungs as you impact the ground. you cry out through gritted teeth, feeling the strain of your muscles twisting far further than they're supposed to.

pain strikes through your ankle like lightning. drawing a breath is almost impossible from the pressure of your ribs. as you fight to sit up, the mud fights to drag you back down like quicksand.

fuck. another injury to slow you down.

muddy snow covers you from head to toe, the stabbing pain in your shoulder coming back in full force.

was that a car? the low rumbling from the direction you came from drew your attention, and you faintly see beams of headlights through the darkness. you momentarily forgot about your injuries, a frenzied panic making your blood run cold. another patrol. i need to go.

then, as you struggle to get up and out of sight, you feel a concerning pop from your kneecap, and you don't even have to look to know it's dislocated.

but there was no time to check the damage, you had to hide, now, or the truck would reach you and you'd have a lot more problems on your hands. you scramble onto your hands and knees, and yank your ankle free of the wet mud, practically throwing yourself behind the undergrowth just in time for the truck to round the bend.

your ribs are displaced again, injecting fresh pain into the shuddering breath you took, on top of your newly twisted ankle and dislocated kneecap bent uncomfortably beneath you.

it's a miracle you were able to keep quiet as the vehicle passed by.

by some stroke of luck, or just divine stupidity, your enemies drive straight past the space in the trees and your hiding spot. the headlights cast ominous shadows as they cruise by, but they didn't see you.

struggling to your feet once again, this time you give the muddy path a wide berth as you make your way deeper into the forest.

✹✹✹

one foot in front of the other. dragging your injured leg behind you. cradling your broken ribs.

just keep going.

limping through the mud took every resource your body had left, the effort of keeping upright was almost more than you could take.

how much longer could you possibly go, before you can't get back up again?

you couldn't lose hope.

ahead of you, a break in the sea of trees.

just one foot in front of the other. that's all you need. it's all you can do.

closer, stepping out into the open, squinting against the sun.

against the pale light of the morning sky, you see a dark shape. a building? you couldn't tell, you could only pray it was the warehouse you'd been longing for.

one foot in front of the other.

closer still, despite the bone-deep exhaustion in every limb. you could make it out now, the rusted metal siding and fresh tire-tracks in the mud. you were right there.

you taste the salt before you realise you're crying. 

almost,

somewhere between the agony, you hear yourself think,

still too early to celebrate.

your heart stutters. they were here, they had to be.

they had to be.

one foot in front of the other.

closer again, you focus on the keypad beside the door. your ankle twists uncomfortably as it drags along the gravel.

the handle became your crutch as you mustered the energy to lift your arm to enter the code.

seeing double, vision swaying as the edges fade.

a distant beep. a red light turning to green.

the handle turns under your weight, and the door swings open.

you find the floor coming up fast.

voices are all around you.

you give in to unconsciousness.

✹✹✹

the distinct hospital smell is what rouses you from your deep, dreamless sleep. hands prod at your busted ribs, drawing a scratchy groan from your dry throat. you grab the wrist of whoever is there as you fight to open your eyes.

"sergeant vantage?" they call out to you, and you realise with a disappointed sigh that it's the medic and not your captain. you open your eyes fully and see her standing above you with a clipboard in one hand. apart from her, you're alone in the medical wing. she notices you looking around, and looks down at the clipboard as she continues,  "glad to see you finally awake. your teammate gaz got off pretty lucky, the bullet went clean through his leg. you on the other hand, i'm impressed you made it back at all."

your ankle is in a boot and elevated on some pillows, and you can feel your knee is tightly bandaged under the blankets. an ache starts to form in your shoulder at the effort of holding your arm up.

"vantage, i need you to let go of my wrist." she says, and after an awkward pause you free her from your hold.

"sorry doc…" you mumble, bringing both hands up to your face and observing the tiny cuts littering your skin. you let them flop down to your sides again, but the aching doesn't subside.

"how are you feeling?" she breaks the momentary quiet, setting her clipboard down on the table next to your bed, "want me to get you anything?"

"i'd kill for some water…" you wheeze, the dehydration was catching up to you.

"alright, i'll be right back," the doctor affirms, making her way to the door. she turns back to look you in the eyes with a stern expression before she leaves, "please don't go anywhere."

and with that, the door clicks shut and you're left truly alone with your thoughts again.

your bones creak as you push yourself to sit up, your movements sluggish still with exhaustion, and you're reminded of just how badly you were hurt. everything aches, and it feels as though you'd been asleep for years.

gaz was okay, that's a relief. a little insulting that he got shot and was still in better condition than you, but whatever.

you look around the room for something, anything, to take your mind off the pain, and your eyes eventually land on the table beside you. a few cards sat on top, all with some variation of get well soon on the front, along with a small vase of flowers. you pick up the card closest to you and open it to read the scratchy handwriting inside.

'i swear you could survive a nuke, you're like a cockroach! get better soon, lots of love, soap! xxxxx'

what a charmer soap was. you chuckle at his lighthearted message, he always did try to keep your spirits up in times like these. as you place the card back where it was, your gaze is drawn to the empty chair next to your bed. there was a thin blanket folded over the back, probably left by whoever was last sitting there.

your mind begins to wander; how long were you out? your teammates clearly visited, does that mean price did too? you feel your stomach flutter at the thought of him worrying for you, watching over you as you recover. and if he fell asleep at your bedside? the heart monitor might call the doctor back if this train of thought continues. but then again, you doubted he'd be that forward, he would most likely be buried in paperwork like he usually is after a mission. and the mission you just came back from would require more paperwork than most.

because they… left you behind. that's right. you had to walk yourself back to the safehouse on all your injuries. who knows how long you were walking for but it must have been at least ten hours, considering the sun had risen by the time you got there. the butterflies were swiftly melted by the hot anger rising within you.

you were going to give him a piece of your mind, just like you promised.

all thoughts of the pain you were feeling are out of your head as you fling the blanket off your lower body. you grip your injured leg and lift it over the edge of the bed, swinging your other leg to plant both feet on the floor.

just as you were about to pull yourself up to stand, the door opens again and the medic walks in with your water bottle in her hand. she stops, an icy look in her eyes as she observes what you're doing.

you look back at her, debating whether you should give it up and lay back down, but your anger quickly wins over. the heart monitor picks up again as you work yourself up.

"i swear to god, if you don't sit back down right now," she makes her way over, setting the water down on the table you were using as a crutch. you meet her eyes indignantly, and go to step around her anyway. "no! you need to rest!" the doc puts her hands on your shoulders, and she stops your movement embarrassingly easily.

"fuck that," you croak, your voice still hoarse, "where's captain shithead? i need a word."

she maneuvers you back into sitting on the edge of the bed, and hands you the water. you keep your sour expression, but still drink half the bottle in one go.

"i assume you mean captain price? he's in his office, hasn't come out since you all got back." she takes the bottle from you when you're done, setting it down again, before moving to take the iv out of your arm. if she feels your glare, she doesn't acknowledge it. "whatever it is, it can wait."

"yeah right, i got a few strong words for him, and he is gonna hear 'em."

the doc hesitates as she works.

"i don't know exactly what happened out there, but i think you should know… that he hasn't visited you," she speaks softly, watching your angry expression fall. "your other teammates did, i even saw ghost sneaking out of here one night, but you didn't hear that from me."

silence overcame the small room again as her words sunk in. he left you for dead, and now he was avoiding you? even ghost visited you, and you'd barely had a single conversation with him. your heart feels tight again, the same way it did when you were trapped in that building.

"how long was i out?" your voice is low, almost a whisper.

"two days."

you should have listened to all the people who told you loving him was a bad idea. you'd almost died, and he still didn't visit you? that stung. god, you haven't even been awake an hour and you already want to throw up.

i guess i really don't mean that much to him, huh?

you think back to the night before the mission, when you'd sat with john while he did paperwork. at first, he tried to convince you to get some sleep, 

"you wanna be well rested, love."

but you stayed anyway, saying that you'd just sleep on the flight. you would rather spend your nights of insomnia with him anyway.

the two of you had talked for hours that night, about anything that came to mind. it was the early hours of the morning when you finally retreated back to your own quarters. he'd insisted on seeing you back, despite the fact that it was the middle of the night and your room was in the next building over. the way he'd lingered by your door as you said goodnight, you really thought he was going to kiss you then. but he didn't, and you went to sleep with a heavy feeling of disappointment that persevered into the next day.

"i'm sorry vantage." the medic sets something down on the end of the bed, and you turn to look. a pile of your clothes. "i know how you soldiers are, you're gonna get up as soon as i leave no matter what i say, so i'd rather you not walk around in a hospital gown."

she was right.

"...thanks, doc."

despite the overwhelming pain in your heart, you were still about to rip into price.

✹✹✹

you limp out of the infirmary after dressing yourself as quickly as your injuries would allow, which is to say, not very fast. thankfully there weren't any stairs between here and your captain's office, you definitely wouldn't be able to make it up them with your crutch.

the sun was already setting, a pink hue filling the sky as you pushed open the doors of the medical wing. you tried to think as little as possible as you made your way steadily across the courtyard. it would only upset you, and you desperately wanted to be pissed at him. you wouldn't– couldn't– let price see how hurt you were, he probably didn't care anyway. he was just your captain, after all, realistically there was no reason for you to be this upset.

but you were, and the few people you encountered in the corridors could see it written on your face, staying well out of your way as you shuffled past them.

as you stared at the closed door of john's office, your anger wavered. despite the ache in your heart, you considered for a moment that perhaps you were being dramatic. he was your captain, you were just one of his soldiers. it made perfect sense that he'd prioritise the lives of three others over yours alone.

it was his job, and he did it well.

you love john, of course you do, and that's why you're so affected by that fact. maybe you were letting your selfishness get the better of you. honestly, you didn't have a real reason to believe he felt the same way about you. everyone on task force 141 was close, that's the way things are, you couldn't confidently say he treated you differently.

but he was smart. he had to know how you felt, had at least had to know that you don't go out of your way for your other teammates as much as you do for him.

then again, even ghost had visited you while you were out, and you considered yourself much closer to price than him. so maybe he hated you now, he'd finally gotten tired of your poor decision making skills. it was the reason you were in this situation to begin with.

you were just about to abandon the idea of laying into him when price's voice sounded through the door.

"whoever's standin' out there, hurry up and come in, or piss off." he sounded exhausted, his tone blunt with annoyance. it wasn't unusual for him to get like that, especially whilst buried in mind-numbingly boring paperwork, but you could feel something else under the surface of his sharp tone.

well, there goes your last chance to run. you took a moment to steel yourself, to remember that you were in fact angry at him, and open the door with the harshest look you can muster.

he didn't look up as you let the door close behind you, keeping his nose buried in whatever report he was currently scribbling on. his hat was discarded on the desk next to him, and the hand in his hair was keeping it the messiest you'd ever seen it. you breathe in deeply through your nose.

"oh you'd love to get rid of me that easily, wouldn't you?" you spit, coming to stand in the middle of the room.

john's head snaps forward at the sound of your voice, the hand in his hair dropping to his desk, allowing you to finally get a good look at him. his eyes were wide and tired, you could tell the bags under them were darker than the last time you'd looked him in the face.

"vantage…" he spoke with something almost like disbelief, like he couldn't fathom that you were really in front of him. the hard lines of his face soften as his eyes meet yours, and then even further when his gaze falls to your crutch and boot.

fuck, how were you supposed to stay mad at him when he looks at you like that? you channel every ounce of bottled up frustration you have before his blue eyes consume you.

"well unfortunately, i am still alive. not that you give a shit; you got a restraining order on the infirmary or something?"

he murmurs your name– your real name, and as he rises to stand, his eyes don't leave yours for a second.

fuuuuuck.

"what? you leave me for dead, now the cats got your tongue?" you hiss at him, but you can feel the venom leaving your words with every second. the way his expression falls ever so slightly has you regretting what you were saying. you came in here needing to hurt him the way he hurt you, but you were quickly losing your nerve.

"don't do that…" he was almost pleading, as he made his way around his desk to stand in front of you, his piles of paperwork long forgotten. he goes to grasp your elbow, but you pull back before he can touch you. 

"sorry if you've already filled out my death certificate, i'd hate to cause you any more headaches." there was little fight left in your voice now, as you stared each other down in the middle of his office.

in the pause, john screws his eyes shut, turning his head to the side, before fixing you with a hard stare.

"don't. you know i would never've left you if i had any other choice!" it's not anger when he raises his voice, it's desperation; trying to convince himself as well as you. he takes another step towards you, toe to toe now as you lock eyes.

"do i know that? because from where i'm standing, it looks like you couldn't get far enough away from me," you can't help the way your voice cracks, nor can you disguise the hurt when you continue, "even fucking ghost visited me, but not you…"

another beat of silence.

"i couldn't…" john mumbled, eyes showing his mind was somewhere else. your chest tightened; every trace of anger was gone, replaced with the heartache you'd gotten so familiar with when it came to him.

"correct me if i'm wrong, but i really thought you cared." you try to take a step back, put some distance between the two of you, but he grabs your upper arm– successfully this time– to stop you going anywhere. it takes an impressive amount of restraint not to melt at his touch.

"of course i fuckin' care!" he growls, tugging you marginally closer.

your eyes hardened again; of course he did, just not in the way you wanted him to.

you jab your finger into his chest as you speak, your expression sour. "well you could've fooled–"

he grabs your hand as he cuts you off, and you can see the muscles in his jaw clenching, his face turning sharp again.

"bloody hell, just shut up! it killed me to leave without you, y'know that? if it weren't for simon i would've sent 'em back without me! i waited, as long as i could," he wasn't shouting, but you went quiet as if he was, any retaliation you thought of dying on your tongue. john let out a heavy sigh before he continued, "but you didn't come. you were stuck in that building, and then when it went up in fuckin' smoke, what was i supposed to think? i– we called out to you so many times, but you never responded."

the silence between you was heavy. deep down, you had already assumed everything he was telling you, but to actually hear it from his mouth had you choking up in his grasp.

"i…" you tried to say something, anything, but the words just wouldn't come. despite your best efforts, the tears welling up in your eyes were close to spilling over as your gaze fell to the floor.

john sighed again, softer this time, and using the hand on your arm he brought you into his chest, letting go of your hand with his other and wrapping it securely around your back.

you rest your cheek against his chest, bringing your own arms up around his torso, and revelled in the feeling of his embrace. listening to his elevated heartbeat, you wondered if he could feel just how hard yours was beating too.

"when you came crashin' through that door the next mornin', alive, i swear i've never been so relieved. but then you wouldn't wake up, and you were covered in so much blood… i…" his voice breaks, actually breaks, and you try to lift your head to look at him, but his hand on your arm moves up and presses into the back of your head, holding you tight against him. "...i was fuckin' terrified, love." he whispered.

"... why didn't you visit me?" the question you'd been meaning to ask all along, the real reason you had been upset at him.

you feel him press his lips into the top of your head, gently rocking you both where you stand. the crutch falls from your arm, but neither of you make any move to retrieve it.

"i couldn't. i couldn't face you, layin' in that hospital bed, hooked up to all them machines… knowin' it was my fault…"

"Hey, you know it wasn’t…" you murmur with disapproval; as much as you hate to admit it, you dug yourself into that hole.

"fuck, i'm– so fucking sorry love,"

"don't apologise… please, you did what you had to," you lift your head, and you can look him in the face again. his eyes were slightly red; if your heartstrings were pulled anymore they'd surely break. "plus, i was never really mad at you anyway."

he huffs out a small chuckle, his breath fanning over your face, the crease in his brow melting away as your eyes meet, "well ain't that a relief?"

"i thought you were pissed at me, and that's why you didn't visit…" you clear your throat and avoid his gaze, "i mean, i did lock myself in a building full of hostiles… not my finest moment,"

"no. as stupid as you are sometimes, i could never be angry at you." 

"that is a relief."

a quiet overcomes the two of you, standing in eachothers arms as the evening sun casts the room in an orange glow. you wanted to stay like this for the rest of time, but it was getting increasingly difficult to ignore the voice in the back of your head that said this was inappropriate. the way he was talking, holding you, had your hopes high, just like that night before the mission. the one where you went to bed disappointed. it didn't help that you were expecting the let-down now, if anything it only made your heart sink even lower.

you notice that, exactly like you, john was staring at you with an unreadable expression on his face. you tilt your head, wordlessly urging him to tell you what's going on. he sighs, scanning the multitude of cuts and scrapes that litter your face, "i promise you, i will never let anything like that happen again, alright?"

"i believe you." you smile softly, and you do; of course you do, you'd trust him with your life. it wasn't something you'd admit out loud, but you would do just about anything if he asked you to.

"i swear, i'm not lettin' you outta my sight." the look on his face has you squirming is his grasp, under the intense gaze he pinned you with.

"alright, i get it," you chuckle, your face heating up at the implication. this was doing nothing for the enormous crush you were harbouring. shuffling backwards slightly, you put enough space between you that you can comfortably rest your hands on his chest.

"i don't think you do, love," you feel his chest rumble as he speaks, and his gaze becomes serious, "i coulda' lost you. i thought i did. fuck, when soap and gaz came outta there without you? i thought my heart'd stopped… i just– i…"

it was rare to see your captain so lost for words. you feel his heart beat faster under your fingertips, the distant look in his eyes giving away the internal debate he was surely having.

"john?"

"if i'm out of order, say the word and we can forget all about this, but vantage…" his voice was low, and you felt your cheeks heat up to a boiling point as he cradled your face with one hand and leaned in closer, chest to chest again. the anticipation and the proximity might just make you sick. "you mean the world to me, i don't know what i'd do with myself if i lost you."

was that… what you thought it was? it sounded an awful lot like a confession, and you really really wanted it to be, but… was it too good to be true?

the lack of a response from you had john pulling back with an uncharacteristic cough that radiated embarrassment. he let go of your face, hovering next to your cheek as if he couldn't bear to let go, and you frown at the absence of his warmth.

"just ignore me, i shouldn't've–" he begins to back-pedel, going to move away from you before you cut him off.

"no!" you exclaim, with a bit more panic than you intended, and grasp his shirt in your fists to keep him close. "i get it, i really do. i- i care about you too, probably a lot more than a teammate should." your face heats up at the admission, and he lights up with surprise. "i think i always have."

slowly, he moves his hand back to its place cupping your jaw, searching your eyes for any signs that he was misinterpreting your response. when he found none, he smiled at you so genuinely you doubted anyone had ever been so sincere towards you.

"yeah?" he murmurs, the slight disbelief gone from his expression but still present in his voice.

"yes, john," you mirror his tone, bringing a hand up to hold the back of his neck. his skin burned hot under your touch.

"well thank god for that," his voice is barely a whisper now, as he draws your lips closer to his. the air separating you felt thick enough to be cut.

you let your eyes fall closed, and with a small burst of confidence, you lean forward and close the final distance between the two of you. he kisses you so tenderly, with so much emotion, it makes your head spin. you sigh into him, tilting your head and pressing yourself impossibly closer, revelling in the feeling of being in his arms at last. all your many months of pining had led up to this moment, and you felt like your heart might just burst. regretfully, you find yourself needing to break away for air, and to your delight he follows your lips as you pull back.

"maybe i should get injured more often, if this is what i get," you breathe, a dazed smile on your face as both your eyes flutter open, and his chest rumbles under your hand with a deep chuckle.

"you better not; i'll have your head if you do, love."

✹✹✹

[lust4life01]

Hello there! Could you please write a Gregory House smut with a fem reader? I'm good with anything, maybe with a little exhibitionism with Wilson? Anything really, would love a dark House. Thanks!

Hello!! Sorry I took so long to reply <3 I think this is pretty dark but I’m sorry if it’s not exactly what you wanted lmao. I havent really written anything dark yet.

Let me put on a show.

(Warnings)18+!! Exhibitionism,almost prositition,smut,older man x younger woman, praise, being watched, darkish smut.

Pairing: Greg House x f/reader x James Wilson

You and Greg had been seeing each other for a little while, not necessarily in secret but private would suit the situation better. This was purely under your conditions as you didn’t want people to assume you were just fucking him to do well within your job or to have some sort of advantage. The only advantage you cared about was the advantage of fucking him almost every night. House on the other hand, he had been itching to brag about his new little toy he could play with, but under your wishes he resisted. Well for a little while. His main focus was keeping you happy, if you were happy he was definitely going be happy.

Despite this, it was clear to everyone around House that he was seeing someone as he was less of a jackass than usual and just seemed even more smug than usual. Which nobody thouht was possible.

“House, come on, I’m your best friend.” Wilson badgered on as him and house sat in the canteen.

In response to this House childishly grabbed a handful of fries and shoved them into his mouth.

“sorwy, moufs kinda full.” He attempted to say, the fries smooshed, breaking his speech.

Wilson rolled his eyes, desperate to know who had been fucking his best friend.

“I don’t understand why you won’t tell me.” He threw his hands up in annoyance.

House continued to stare at him with a blank expression, clearly trying to wind Wilson up.

“I’ll buy you a drink after work if you tell me.”

House tapped his face with his finger mockily pretending to think before answering, “um no.”

Wilson who was almost defeated but also driven by curiosity let out a sigh. “$100.”

Houses face lit up as Wilson placed the note in the table.

“Sold. Thank you sir” House happily snatched the note from the table and shoved it into his pocket.

“Alright fess up. How’s been ya know…” Wilson asked eagerly

“Emptying my balls?”

Wilson scoffed in disgust but nodded his head.

“The babe with sexy eyes, ya know the one working down in the maternity ward.”

Wilson cocked his eyebrow, clearly needing more information.

House rolled his eyes. “The one with (your hair colour) and she’s about yay high. Nice legs”

Wilson thought for a minute before a puzzles looked crossed his face. “Wait. You don’t mean (y,n?)

House smirked “thats the one.”

Wilson let out a loud laugh. “Yeah okay House. And I’m fucking Jennifer Aniston. Seriously tell me. I just gave you $100.”

House looked Wilson up and down in offence. “What you don’t believe me?”

“No. Of course I don’t. You’re a handsome guy House but a girl like that gets fucked by men like Chase.”

“My mature and stern demeanour clearly turns her on. Plus I told her Chase was gay."

“If you seriously don’t believe come to mine at 8pm sharp. Trust me you’ll believe me then.”

Wilson looked at him skeptically but nodded. Wilson wasn’t all hearts and rainbows, despite him not believing House, the thought of seeing you with your mouth open contorted in pleasure was worth the risk of being scammed by House.

———————————————————————---------------

You were stood in Houses kitchen, trying to decide what the two of you should eat.

“Ugh, you can’t have soup again (y,n)” House moaned.

“Why not? It’s tasty, easy and quick.” You shrugged.

House moved in front of you, trapping you between him and the counter and looking down at you.

“That’s funny. I remember you liking it long and hard.”

You scoffed at him, not breaking eye contact.

“Screw the food, I’m hungry for something else.”

He bent down and attached your lips hungrily.

You made out as you slowly walked over to the couch, being mindful of his leg.

You pushed him, his back hitting the armrest of the couch and you gently straddled him.

“Is this okay?” You ask sweetly as you lightly bit his neck.

“Perfect.”

House grabbed your hair into a make shift pony tail and brought your lips to his.

As your lips were glued to one another’s House took the time to peer over at the clock which read 7:55pm.

He slowly undressed you, taking off your top and admiring the way your tits sat in your bra.

“Fuck so pretty.”

He unclip your bra with one hand and it wasn’t just his smile that grew bigger.

“Even prettier.” He smirked, looking at your exposed chest.

You giggled and started to take off Houses shirt as he slipped his fingers under your skirt and panties.

“Mhm nice and soaked for me baby, good girl.”

He circled your clit with his two large fingers and you practically cried out, desperate for more. You started to grin onto his hand and let out a pathetic whimper.

House looked back over to the clock- 7:59pm-

Show time.

He unbuttoned his jeans and waisted no time in entering you. It was sudden, he didn’t even take off your skirt or panties, just moved them to the side.

You let out a pornographic moan as he push up into you so suddenly and started to bounce up and down, your eyes screwed shut and your mouth hung open.

“Say my name baby.” House ordered you. Knowing he wanted Wilson to know exactly who was making you feel this good. He wanted Wilson to know he was in fact the one who could make you cum whenever he decided to.

It was exactly 8pm as Wilson stood outside House's apartment door. He was hesitant to enter. He could hear the sounds of two bodies slamming against one another and the chants of his best friends name over and over.

Fuck the idea of seeing you on the verge of cuming made his blood rush to his pants.

He open the door carefully, the sounds of you already becoming louder.

House heard the door and circled his fingers around your clit in hopes you would become louder.

Now Wilson could see you in all your glory. Your face contorted in pure pleasure.

“Fuck. House gonna cum. You fuck me so good.” you whined.

Wilson stared with his mouth agape completely in awe of the way your body moved and the sounds that graced your lips. He felt like such a creep, but he couldn’t stop watching.

“Cum for me baby” House grunted out whilst peering over at Wilson.

Your head jolted back, exposing the veins in your neck as you reached your peak. You let out a pathetic whimper as House continued to fuck your overstimulated cunt.

Wilson couldn’t bear it any longer. He swiftly made his way out of the apartment completely horny and with an overwhelming feeling of guilt. Little did he know, you knew all about this little arrangement.

House had told you before hand and showed you the crisp $100 dollar bill he’d received if you put on your best show. You were hesitant at first, but your were a broke trainee and $100 is $100. You could put on a show. Make the dirtiest moans you could.

Once House pulled out of you, you both stared at each other and began to laugh.

“Well how was I?” You asked, feeling pretty proud of the performance you just put on.

“Excellent. You could be a real porn star.” He smiled at you.

“How do you know I’m not” you cocked an eyebrow.

“ I would have seen it by now.” he mocked

You both laughed and sat for a while.

“Okay on a real note I am actually very hungry can we get food now please?” You whined as you began to dress again.

“After that show, how could I refuse” House grabbed the $100 and placed it into your bra.

[angel-eyes05]

What's In A Name

pairing: roronoa zoro x fem!reader

summary: as a master thief, you pride yourself on never getting caught. that is until you're caught by the straw hats as you try stealing from their ship. unable to turn you in to the authorities just yet, they'll have to make due with storing you on the going merry in the meantime. but, your time in confinement has allowed you to get particularly close to a certain swordsman. how close the two of you get is to be decided though.

warnings/info: nsfw mdni, oral sex (fem receiving), alcohol consumption, drunk/tipsy sex, face riding, my own sex headcanons for zoro are VERY clear here lmao ,takes place in between jaya and skypiea (please pretend theres more time at sea in between those arcs cause this will not work otherwise OK THANKS), this is for the pre-time skip zoro girlies (he's 19 pre-time skip dont come for me), no use of y/n, the first half of this is just cute shenanigans between reader and the straw hats. its a lot of character building stuff but i like it.

word count: 6.3k

notes: HI GUYS IM BACK IVE MADE MY RETURN I FOUND SOMETHING TO WRITE ABOUT!!!! and its the longest fic ive ever written too god damn what a comeback lmao. ok so i started watching one piece and im head over heels in love with this man...but i'm only up to water 7 rn so i only know how to properly write for pre-time skip zoro so thats how this is gonna go. i was looking for zoro/one piece fics to read but theyre literally all established relationship ones which aren't my cup of tea so im doing it myself lmao. also i didnt proofread i got too lazy sorry if some stuff doesnt make sense sorry sorry sorry but im a simple lazy tired girlie lmao enjoy!!

dividers by: @cafekitsune

You didn’t know any of their names.

You had been aboard the Going Merry for about three weeks now, and you still hadn’t learned anyone’s names. Granted, your reason for being there wasn’t to make friends anyway. That wasn’t particularly easy to do, being tied up in some storage closet and all. 

Being one of the few residents who actually lived on Jaya had allowed you to pick up a skill or two when it came to stealing. Pirates with big bounties and even bigger treasures left their ships unattended at the docks, leaving you with some perfect quick heists from time to time. Some steals were easier than others. As much as you believed in your talents, most of the time your ability to get out unscathed was based purely on the luck of the draw. It wasn’t an easy life, many recent nights leaving you with more injuries than berries and gold pieces, but it was all you knew having lived here for so long. 

After having taken a break from heists for a bit, you finally laid your eyes on a ship worth stealing from. A pirate ship with a goat out in front and seemingly orange trees next to the helm. Most of the ships at the dock had been there for a while, leaving the pirates on board used to your tricks already. Being low on cash was another factor. So, after a bit of planning, you made your way onto the ship.

Earlier, you had found that one of the windows to a cabin had been left open, so you decided to make your entrance through there. You gathered your things and dove into the crystal blue water by the dock. Once you made it to the back of the ship, you took your rope, with your own handmade grappling hook at the end, and swung it to hook on the window sill. Luckily for you, it stuck the landing on the first try. You smirked to yourself and used the hook as leverage to climb up onto the ship. Unfortunately, this seemed to be the ship’s bathroom. Not super ideal. You’d have to venture more out into the ship. But with this came the risk of getting caught. Given your dire circumstances though, it was a risk you were willing to take.

With an attempt to make as little creak as possible, you slightly opened the door into the rest of the interior. Coast was clear so far. Suddenly, a shake rattled throughout the interior. You tumbled onto the floor, pushing open a door due to your unbalance. What the fuck was that, you thought to yourself. It quickly became no matter though, when you noticed the door had opened up to a room with a treasure chest tucked away in the back. Jackpot. You slyly made your way into the room and shut the door behind you. 

The room was neatly kept, with bookshelves, a couch, two sleeping hammocks, and a desk with navigation tools on it. There was even a bar. Though temptation pursued at you, you had to stay on task. While making your way over to the chest, you heard different creaks vibrating across the walls of the ship. You prayed to yourself that it was just the wood’s reaction to the waves. As you had predicted, the chest was locked, so you searched your bag for anything that could key the lock. 

Time became of the essence quickly as the thuds and creaks on the ship grew louder and louder. Finally, the lock to the chest made a perfect click, as the chest unlocked. You lifted the roof of the chest to find a sight for sore eyes: jewels and gold galore. This was it, you were set. You were so in awe with the vision before you, that you had failed to notice the woman standing behind you. The image you saw in one of the emeralds was a tall figure, with jet-black hair just below her shoulders, and dazzling blue eyes. “Looking for something?” the woman questioned, almost sarcastically. You seemed to have forgotten rule number one of thieving. Remember to lock the door behind you.

Quick on your feet, you whip around to throw a punch in her face, but her reflexes seem to be quicker than yours by the way she catches your fist. You then attempt to kick out her legs. The image you see next shakes you to your core. A hand, seeming to appear out of thin air, attaches itself to your calf. The hand then slowly raises your fear-frozen body into the air, dangling you upside down like a party toy. You attempt to throw more hits at her, all seeming to be in vain though. You kick and scream, like a child throwing a tantrum, in an attempt to get out. The woman looks out into the hallway and signals over another one of her companions. Fuck, this is turning sour fast. Before you can make out any other features of the man, besides his cartoonishly long nose, he uses his slingshot to pelt a rock towards your forehead. Your vision goes black as the rest of the pirates rush into the room.

The rough fibers of the rope tying your wrists together were the first thing you felt as you woke up. This was quickly followed by the underlying nausea from the waves rocking the boat, reminding you why you preferred to stay on land. You attempted to stand up, but your dizziness and the rope tying you to the floor weren’t letting you get very far. Suddenly, the door to whatever room you were in swung open, and the group of 7 pirates living on board entered the room. You slinked yourself along the back wall, attempting to disappear into your skin. You weren’t sure what felt worse: The fear of what they were going to do to you, or the embarrassment that you had been doing this for so long and still got caught.

Nope, definitely the embarrassment.

The man, no boy was a better word to describe him, standing in the middle of them attempted to speak to you before a woman with short orange hair cut him off. “If you think we’re gonna let you get off easily just because we’re also pirates, you’d be sorely mistaken!” she spoke, fiery anger lacing her words. The tall woman from earlier put her hand on her shoulder, calming her down, and walked out towards you. You tried to scoot away as much as you could as she crouched down to your level. 

“Listen, we want this to be over as much as you do. We would love nothing more than to get you off our ship and drop you off at the nearest island. But unfortunately for us, that would mean having to find a group of marines to hand you over to, who we aren’t the best of friends with right now. And we can’t drop you back off at Jaya since we’re too far by this point. So, for now, we’ll just have to keep you tied down here if that works out with you.” You began to speak before the woman cut you off. “You don’t have much of a choice in the matter by the way.”

She stood back up and began to exit the room, the other pirates following her except for two. The boy with the straw hat and another man, with striking green hair and three swords lying in a holster on his belt. The boy looked somberly at you as if he was against this whole idea. But the green-haired one just stared at you. As uncomfortable as it made you feel, you couldn’t help staring back into his piercingly soft eyes. “Come on, let’s go,” the green-haired man said to the boy, finally breaking eye contact and turning his back to leave. The boy followed him shortly after. As he closed the door, you had nothing left to focus on except for the itchiness of the rope, the empty stuffiness surrounding the storage room, and your worsening seasickness.

The following weeks had the same routine. Each of the pirates on board took individual shifts watching you during the day when they were just out at sea. The strange reindeer creature would watch you when they were out on islands. The first shift was taken by the tall black-haired woman. She would come in at the break of dawn to make sure you didn’t find some way to escape at night. You two would sit in silence for a little more than two hours, asking and answering some questions before switching spots with the blonde one. His company was strange, with him hitting on you at random points in your conversations, but he always brought you breakfast in the morning. As much as he made you uncomfortable sometimes, you couldn’t deny that his cooking was the best you’d had in years. He’d even let you take a hit off his cigarettes if you ever asked, so his visits had its perks. 

The next shift was taken by the orange-haired one. The first thing she would always do when walking into the room was ask you how creepy the blonde one was. The answer varied on the day. Once she warmed up to you, she would bring you tangerines from the trees out on the deck. As the days passed, she eventually explained that the treasure you attempted to steal belonged to her, which you begrudgingly apologized for. On some level, you felt bad. These seemed to be small-time pirates, just trying to get by like you were. The more you learned about each of them, the worse you felt about your actions towards them. 

Around lunchtime, the long-nosed one would bring you your meal, cooked again by the blonde man. This member would go into detail about his next invention he was working on in his workshop. You admired his passion and energy towards his craft. His rants and rambles were normally interrupted by the reindeer creature coming in for his shift, causing intense, yet entertaining, arguments to break out between the two of them. The reindeer was the sweetest of all the crew members, always checking in on your health and helping you with your seasickness. He would talk about his home and his experiences there. You developed a pity for the creature. His presence was calming, and you felt as if you could let your guard down around him. That would change as soon as the straw hat boy would come bouncing into the room, scaring both you and the animal. You would soon come to learn the energetic boy was the captain of the ship, which shocked you. But you soon came to understand why. His crew had a massive respect for him, even if he was the root of half their problems.

Being on the ship, you got extremely close to all the pirates. Even the tall woman from before seemed to respect you in some way. You enjoyed all of their company. There was something strange about them though. One morning early in your stay on the ship, you could’ve sworn you’d heard the tall woman say something to the rest of the crew. 

“Whatever you do, don’t tell her your name. Your name is your biggest secret.”

You didn’t know any of their names. You had thought you heard some of them speak it to each other in passing conversations, but not enough to remember who was who. You had bonded with them, but if someone put a gun to your head and told you to name your prison guard pirates, you’d be dead in seconds.

Except for one.

Zoro seemed to be his name. He would come in for the last shift. His presence didn’t frighten you, but it slightly intimidated you. His habit of carrying his swords everywhere he went wasn’t helping. He was silent his entire shift, normally dosing off halfway through after spending around an hour sharpening his swords You didn’t even attempt to make conversation with him. You found out his name when the captain would yell for him to get back to his sleeping quarters. “Zoro! Your shift’s done, you can sleep for real now!” he shouted across the hall the first time it happened. Zoro almost bounced up from his sleep and gave you one look before bolting out of the room to catch up to the captain. You could hear the echoes of their bickering from down the hall as you giggled to yourself. At least he didn’t seem to always be that stern.

It seemed crazy to you. His name was the only one you knew, yet you knew the least about him. He had hardly said 5 sentences to you in the three weeks you had been on the boat. His stoicism was one of the things that drew you into him though. Something about his demeanor, how intensely he would sharpen his swords, how his worries seemed to melt away the minute he escaped into a slumber, and how alive he seemed when he was with his crew. It was enticing. You wanted to know more. You attempted asking him questions about himself, but the most you would get were one to two-word answers. The most you got from him was when your seasickness finally got to you, causing you to puke up the dinner the blonde one made for you. “Woah, are you okay?” he asked concernedly, shooting up from his seat. When your only response was a cough and more puke, he ran out of the room to go get the reindeer. One thing he failed to do was close the door behind him. 

You speculated your options. You had no idea where you were. You could be out in the middle of the ocean. Or you could be right about to dock at land. If you managed to scrape yourself about the ever-loosening rope and sneak out, you’d be free. You’d never have to worry about these pirates again. 

At this point though, did you want to?

You took too long to decide, the reindeer rushing into the room with his medical kit, the blonde one short behind him. As the reindeer gave you a dose of medicine and cleaned up your mess and the blonde one held your hand and consoled you, your attention stayed by the doorframe. Zoro leaned against the wood, watching the work from afar. What shocked you most of all was his face. For a man who seemed so disinterested in you and your existence, his brows were furrowed, his cheeks had a light pink stain on them, and a slight frown invaded his face. He was concerned. Maybe even a little nervous. But why? He’d never shown any sort of emotion towards you before other than sleepiness. Once the reindeer and the blonde one left, he continued with his shift. You noticed something though. He sat closer to you than he normally did. 

You couldn’t tell, but you were blushing the rest of his shift.

Once he left, you sat in silence, thoughts racing through your mind, until you finally fell asleep.

You noticed a change in his behavior in the next few days. When you would ask him a question, he would respond now. And with more than just a “yes” or “no” too. He had more energy around you and wouldn’t spend his whole shift asleep. He would even let out a chuckle now and then. You didn’t know what you had done differently to get him like this, but you liked him like this. He was sweeter than he let on. 

Something had changed in you too though. On the occasions, you would catch yourself looking over his appearance. The more you observed, the more you realized how handsome he was. His clear, warm skin, his hypnotic eyes, his striking hair. You caught his appearance giving you butterflies when he would walk into your storage room. Your heart skipping a beat when he would give you even the smallest smile. You would stare even more when he would nap during his shift. Noticing certain things. The way his breath would hitch sometimes. How he always slept with his mouth open and would wake himself up sometimes with his dry mouth coughs. How his chest rose and fell with his soft breaths. How fighting with a sword in his mouth probably made his tongue stronger than other men you’ve met. You felt weird about it sometimes. Almost like some freakish stalker. But you would feel better about yourself whenever you would catch him staring at you out of the corner of your eye. 

As time went on, the crew began to give you some more freedom. The tall woman began leaving some of her archeology books in the storage room to keep you entertained. The orange-haired one would show you all her marked-up maps. The long-nosed one would even let you out of the rope to test his inventions from time to time. With the door locked of course. And then, the big display came. One day, during everyone’s shift, they told you their names. The blonde one was Sanji. The orange-haired one was Nami. The reindeer was Chopper. The long-nosed one was Usopp. Their captain was Luffy. And the tall woman, who initiated your imprisonment, was Robin. It was a small gesture, but it meant the world to you. With each passing shift, you grew more excited for the next. To learn the next pirate’s name, and with that, their story. Until the last shift of the day came. And you realized.

You already knew his name.

“My name’s Zoro,” he said quietly. “I know,” you replied, bluntly. 

Something felt different about this shift. You didn’t feel the same excitement you normally felt when seeing him. Without your connection to him before, his being the only name you knew, something about him just didn’t excite you as much. Now he noticed your behavior change. “You okay?” he inquired. “Mhm,” you responded in monotony. The rest of his time there was spent in silence. 

You felt bad about what you were doing. This wasn’t his fault. Yet you were acting like this. It was almost as if the two of you swapped places. He was now the one trying to dig information out of you. And you gave him nothing more than blank faces and empty words. You wished you could figure out why you were acting like this, but you had no clue.

Today though, the crew was going to take an extra step towards including you. Throughout your time on the Going Merry, you had only left your little storage room prison a few times. To go to the bathroom and visit the kitchen on special occasions. But you hadn’t seen the sun in weeks. After proving to the crew you had changed, they planned a little surprise for you.

Robin woke you up earlier than usual. “Is everything ok?” you asked, still half asleep. Robin just smiled at you. “Come on, get up.” You looked at her confused, as she walked over to your restraints, untying you from the hook keeping the rope down. She took you by your restraints and walked you out to the room. The mix of drowsiness and confusion left you slightly panicked as you realized she was walking you out to the deck. She opened the door to a still-dark morning. 

The rest of the Straw Hats were sitting out on the deck, just conversing and eating an extra early breakfast, courtesy of Sanji. They all turned to you once you and Robin walked out. “What’s going on,” you asked, still very confused. “On Thursdays, we all like to get up early and sit out and watch the sunrise. And we were talking about it, and we felt like you should join us this time,” Nami smiled. She stood up and pranced over to you, mouth slightly agape and speechless, and took you over to sit in between her and Zoro. You turned to Zoro, overwhelmed with emotions. 

It had been so long since you felt a part of a community of people. You never exactly fit in with the ruthless bands of pirates coming and going on Jaya. Finally feeling connected to people, especially after you wronged them so horribly, brought you happiness you hadn’t felt in ages. 

A singular “I-” was all you could manage to get out, a tear trickling down your cheek. “Just enjoy it. They’ll be at each other’s throats again in a minute,” he joked, getting a soft laugh out of you. He smiled gently, brushing the tear off your cheek. His finger lingered there longer than expected. You blushed. The butterflies were back and you caught yourself staring again.

“What’s that supposed to mean!” Nami interrupted. “Well, it’s true!” Zoro retorted, leaning over you to yell at Nami. The two began arguing as you noticed the sun starting to peak out over the horizon. “Shut up you two, you’re gonna make her miss it!” Usopp and Luffy yelled. They stopped bickering once they also noticed the sky begin to turn orange. 

The pinks and oranges mixed together in a beautiful watercolor painting as the sun reflected its image on the ocean. The soft waves bobbed the ship up and down in a calming hypnotic motion, almost putting you back to sleep. The beauty of it all was so serene. Against popular opinion, you always preferred sunrises to sunsets. The representation of a new day beginning. It gave you hope in your most dire situations. 

You lifted your head back to see the colors slowly spreading to the rest of the sky. Everyone to your right was in the same headspace you were like they were in some sort of trance. They were all cuddling against each other, Robin holding Chopper in her lap, Luffy and Usopp mimicking each other’s smiles, and Nami resting her head on Sanji’s shoulder. They all seemed so close to each other. Like a little family. Connected. You turned to Zoro to see if he was doing the same as the others, but all you found was his eyes softly gazing into yours, and his hand slowly inching towards yours. The minute he snapped out of it, he sharply turned his head and hand away and cleared his throat. You couldn't help but laugh at his schoolboy behavior. With your ego controlling your actions, you took his hand and slowly intertwined his fingers with yours. You could see a smile float onto his face out of the corner of your eye. You did the same.

The rest of the day was spent out on the deck. The feeling of the sun on your skin for the first time in weeks was euphoric. All you wanted to do was soak it all in. The Straw Hats must have been in a good mood today, because, with some extra convincing, you got them to finally take off your shackles. You spent most of the day sunbathing out on the deck with Nami. She had let you borrow one of your bikinis. You two were slightly different sizes though, so the suit was a little tight on you. You didn’t mind very much. You were just happy to be out of the same clothes you had worn for 3 weeks. Sanji didn’t mind either, ogling both you and Nami and basically worshipping the two of you. “It’s ok, he’ll get over it in a few hours,” Nami consoled. You circled the deck a few times to see if Zoro was anywhere in sight, but you couldn’t seem to find him. He probably went inside to nap away from the heat. Part of you wanted him to get the rest he deserved. The other really wanted him to see you in your outfit. 

The day really took a turn when Usopp brought out the liquor from the kitchen. “I was saving that asshole!” Sanji yelled. “Oh come on, this is a special occasion!” Usopp pleaded. With some more convincing, Sanji finally gave in. You and the crew got increasingly drunk throughout the evening, Zoro eventually coming out from wherever he was napping to join the party. You all had even decided to jump into the ocean and swim around for a little bit. All except for Chopper, very sober and very nervous for any incoming sea monsters. He had managed to get you all back onto the ship with some very convincing pleading.

You and Zoro caught each other catching glimpses of one another throughout the rest of the day. Zoro admiring your figure in the swimsuit, and you ogling at the way his damp shirt hugged at his muscles. One by one, as day grew into night, crew members began to pass out on the deck, deciding to sleep outside for the night. You and the other members who wanted to go back into the cabin, Zoro and Robin, made your way back down into the ship. “Make sure you tie her back up. No hard feelings but we can’t be too careful.” Even slightly tipsy, she was still her stern old self. “Yeah whatever whatever, goodnight to you too,” Zoro drunkenly pushed off. You giggled and blushed as he took your hand and led you down the stairs into the cabin. Robin sighed to herself as she watched the two of you scamper off.

You felt your heartbeat get increasingly faster as he led you to your room. For some reason, the air in the hallway got thicker as you got closer. You blamed it on your tipsiness. But your heart slowly sank as you got to the door, realizing you had to say goodbye to Zoro for the day. He opened the door and stumbled into your room, leading you in behind him. He closed the door behind him, hesitating for a moment before going to wrap the rope back around your wrists. 

He seems distressed for some reason, breathing heavily and avoiding eye contact. You look down at your hands, as he so gently maneuvers the rope around them. The butterflies begin to well up in your stomach again, the alcohol fueling their ferocity. His hands. So calloused yet so gentle. You can smell the remnants of sake exuding from Zoro’s heavy breaths. You looked back up at him. Were you two always standing this close together? You the butterflies keep rising and rising. You don’t know what to do with yourself. You’re not sure if you should run, kiss him, punch him, but you have to do something before you implode. Until. He stops.

The rope undoes itself in his hands as he freezes. His hands are shaking, his breath is heavy, and his eyes avoid yours like the plague. You were just getting antsy but Zoro seemed in distress. “Hey?” you ask, lowering your hands and dropping the rope to the floor. “Zoro?” You take your hand under his chin and lift his eyes to yours. You might throw up at any second. His eyes are so softly intense. 

He brushed his thumb against your cheek, sending chills down your spine. You both want the same thing. Both of you are just too scared to take the chance. “It’s ok. You’re okay,” you reassure him, placing your hand over his heart. His heart, which happens to be underneath his bare chest, him having taken off his wet shirt earlier. His breathing slows, and his eyes move down ever so smoothly from your eyes to your plump lips. You catch yourself doing the same to him, and you inching closer to him. “You’re fine.” Closer. “We’re gonna be…fine.” Your lips barely brush each other. The gentleness of the kiss is calming though, as you notice Zoro’s breath slowing. 

You brush again. And again. And again. Lips touching a little more with each meet. Until they fully interlock. The two of you melt into each other as Zoro wanders your back into a wall for support. Your kisses are structured, made to get the most out of each meeting. You’re both ravenous for each other, but you know if you go at each other like mad dogs, you won’t get what you want. So you both take your time getting to know the feeling of the other person’s mouth. You slip a moan out as Zoro’s tongue seeps between your lips. His kisses get slightly more sloppy as he runs his hands down your body. He feels the underneath of your breasts, the curves of your waist and hips, and finds a nice resting place under your ass. Your hands roam his cheeks and jaw, making their way to tug slightly on his moss-colored hair. 

“Needed this,” Zoro whispers in between kisses. “Needed you so badly. But I didn’t know how.” He separates his lips from yours and plants kisses and hickeys along your jaw and neck. “I was always just too nervous for some reason. You make me so nervous.” His hands find their way into your bikini bottom and fondle your asscheeks, getting a low moan out of you. The alcohol must’ve given him a confidence boost. “Good to see you found your footing now,” you whisper in his ear. He chuckles, the butterflies speeding up in your stomach. 

The two of you stay here for a little bit. Hell, you could stay like this for hours. Just soaking each other in. Feeling his warmth brought a fire into your soul. You could tell Zoro was getting a little antsy though, one of his hands moving from your back to your front, beginning to slowly circle your clit. The other hand went to your bikini, untying the back and letting it fall to the floor as his mouth moved to your breast. Waves of pleasure crashed through your body as you let him do his work. “God, you sure this is your first time?” you moaned out. He removed his mouth from your nipple to talk. “Never said it was, sweetheart. You just assumed it.” “Well from the loner vibe you got going on mixed with being on this ship 24/7, you can’t blame me for thinking that.” “Well the loner vibe worked on you, so who’s to say it hasn’t worked on others?” he smirked. You laughed to yourself as he got down on his knees.

Zoro slipped off your bikini bottom, completing the set on the floor. He kissed your v-line with the same softness he treated your lips to. He sat back on his knees for a moment to catch his breath, looking up at you, as if to ask for permission. You held your hand out to his cheek and rubbed it with your thumb. His eyes closed as he placed his hand over yours, as if you would ever take it away from him. God now this was a sight you could get used to. He was so infatuated with you it made your heart ache. He was right here at your disposal, yet you wanted more of him. So you bent down and gave him a sloppy forehead kiss. Once you were back up, he decided to go in. 

Like most things he does, he started slow and controlled. He kissed and sucked on your inner thighs. Once his hand finally left your clit, you knew he was ready. He kissed your cunt, using his tongue to lick up your wetness. You could pass out right now if you had less self-control. Whimpers and moans left your lips, your hips naturally starting to grind against his nose, relieving the ache in your clit. You let him know what felt good by the tugs and yanks you put in his hair. He was a natural. Your guess about his tongue earlier was right too. “You taste so good, just as I imagined,” Zoro breathed onto your lips. You could tell he was starting to lose his composure with the way he continued to bury his face into your pussy. Your cunt naturally tightened around his tongue as he tasted you. Your hips began to buck into his face as your grinding pace increased, the butterflies turning into a white heat you felt getting stronger and stronger. Your bud was becoming more swollen by the second. Your grip on his hair tightened to make up for your failing knees. 

You wouldn’t be able to take much more. Zoro wouldn’t either, his hand making its way into his pants to relieve his own bulge. His pace got faster to match your grinds. The smack of your lips against his tongue, mixed with both of your moans, was pornographically loud. Suddenly, the situation of Robin or another crew member hearing became an apparent one to you. That worry quickly left your mind once one of Zoro’s hands made its way to fondle your nipple. If he asked you to follow him anywhere right now, you might just do it if it meant this every other night. You felt he knew your body better than you did. “So pretty. So good for me. You make this so easy,” Zoro groaned between licks. “Zoro god fuck me please!” Your final whimper sent you over the edge as you wailed and came all over his perfect face. He licked up your juices as he finished his own job as well. Your knees finally gave out as you fell on top of him, into his arms.

He brought you down gently, straddling you on his lap as you wrapped your arms around him. He traced his cum soaked hand across your back and kissed your nape. You were more exhausted than expected, almost passing out in the crook of his neck. Even now, he was so gentle with you. “You did so good, darling,” he praised, kissing your earlobe. “Want…more…want you…inside me,” you managed to get out. He just laughed and pushed you up to look at you. “If you took me right now, I don’t think you’d wake up tomorrow morning. Look at you, you can barely keep your eyes open, sweetheart,” he teased. You pouted. “Oh, you feel that proud of yourself?” your drunkenness fueling your frustration. “No no no, sweetheart,” he chuckled. Once your frown didn’t change, he stopped laughing and pressed a kiss deep into your forehead. “I’m sorry. What I meant was, if I fucked you with everything I have left right now, which is the only way I would want to do it, this floor would leave us with sore backs for weeks.” You stayed frowning. “I want to fuck you right, the way you deserve. And I can’t do it for you right now.” You pouted more at him. He smiled up at you and leaned in closer to your ear. “If you trust me, I promise I’ll make it worth your while. You’ll be walking funny for weeks.” God, you almost came again just now. You didn’t notice how much your jaw dropped until Zoro laughed at you. You couldn’t help but laugh back in tune with his infectious laughter. 

He kissed you with a fever behind his lips, then scanned the room around the two of you. “What’s wrong?” you drowsily asked. The exhaustion from you coming, the sleepiness brought by the alcohol, and how late it was getting was starting to overpower you. Zoro didn’t respond. He just grabbed your swimsuit and helped you put it back on, tightened your legs around his hips, and hoisted you up as he stood. You decided to ask questions once you had a clearer idea of what was happening. He opened the door and walked with you down the hallway, passing the girl’s quarters and into the men’s room. He checked inside quickly before bringing you in and signaling you to bring your legs down. You confusedly followed him to his bed as he groaned, rubbed his back, and sat down on the edge of the bunk. “Wanna explain to me what you’re doing?” you asked, slightly more awake. “If you think I’m just gonna leave you to sleep alone, tied up, on that dirty floor after what we just did, then you must think I’m a really shitty guy,” Zoro quipped before getting under the covers and trying to pull you down. You put some resistance towards him though. 

“B-but Zoro, I’m not supposed to be in here.”

“I know.”

“If someone catches me in here we’re both fucked.”

“They won’t catch you.”

“How do you know that?”

“I’ll wake up before Robin starts her shift.”

“Are you sure, I mean I just don’t kn-.”

“Hey.”

You stop your nervous rabbling and look at him as he sits back up. “Do you want to go back and sleep on the cold, dirty, hard floor?” You really didn’t. “No.” “Then stay here with me.” “But what if-.” “Do you trust me?”

You sure hope you did after all of that. His kind eyes reassured you in the darkness surrounding the two of you. You took a deep breath and nodded. “Do you trust me?” he asked again. “I trust you, Zoro,” you confirmed. He smiled kindly at you. “You’re fine. We’re gonna be fine.” He steadied you by placing his hands on your hips, running his hands along your waist, and pressing his lips into your tummy. You loved the way he looked at you. Like you were his whole world. It was comforting.

He took your hand and helped you into bed. You bundled yourself under the covers and wrapped yourself around his frame. He kissed your temples one more time before slipping into sleep, his light snores hypnotizing you into a slumber of your own.

The last thing you remember before dozing off was the feeling of his hands on your waist.

Everything you wanted was right here. In front of you. Straight out of a dream. Your only fear was that it would be gone once you woke up.

a/n: THIS TOOK FOREVER GOOD LORD. anyways thanks for being here for my comeback era lol. my upload schedule is NOT going to be consistent this is just a little splurge i wanted to write lol. thank you for reading i really appreciate it (i also really appreciate engagement lol please like repost comment etc im greedy). i love one piece and i love zoro. once i meet law expect all hell to break loose im gonna write so much fanfiction about him its concerning hes so fine im so excited. anyways lol thanks love you bye.

[glorysalazar]

No Duolingo, no problem

Jere Pöyhönen / Käärijä x Fem! Reader

Summary: You moved to Finland a few weeks ago and can't seem to feel at home: you're starting at a new job, you don't understand the language, you're kind of going through a break up... One tired and cold evening you head into the first bar you can find and briefly meet a cute guy you can't stop thinking about for the next few weeks. You try to forget about him, but when you go back to the same bar for some random gig your coworkers have invited you to go to, you find him again. [This takes place way before Eurovision]

Word count: 5.9k

Warnings: English isn't my first language and I got a little lazy mid writing. Also they smoke a vape oops (seriously now don't do it it's shit for your health). Maybe smut implications at the end?

A/N: I didn't know what to name this lmao. I cannot believe I wrote fanficiton for the first time in YEARS because I fell in love with a Finnish guy after watching Eurovision. Anyway, I noticed an enormous shortage of Jere fics and decided to risk my final exams to serve the people. I hope it's worth it! Also apologies if the Finnish translation is shit I used a random website for it lol

Glossary:

"Anteeksi, pudotit takkisi" -> "Sorry, you dropped your coat"

"Jere, istuimme takapöydässä" -> "Jere, we are sitting at the back table"

"Olen tulossa" -> "I'm on my way"

"Hetkinen, kiitos!" -> "One moment, please!"

"Jere, sinun vuorosi on kymmenen minuutin kuluttua" -> "Jere, you're on in ten minutes"

"Minä menen nyt" -> "Coming"

"Hei kaikille, miten meillä menee tänään?" -> "Hi everyone, how are we doing today?"

"Kiitos, Mikko, arvostan sitä todella" -> "Thank you, Mikko, I really appreciate it"

"Miten uskallat tulla tänne?" -> "How dare she come here?"

"Meidän on hyödynnettävä sitä" -> "We'll have to make use of it"

"Mikä on sana?" -> "What's the word?"

...

It was cold. Hell, it was colder than she could have ever imagined before coming here. Sure, she had checked the country's temperatures before moving, researched online about what to expect for someone who was used to easy winters, had bought the fuzzy-fur-on-the-inside-boots and the heavy jacket and all that was recommended to face the never-ending snowing. But still, it somehow hadn't been enough.

A job offer and the need to find some new purpose to latch onto had led (Y/N) here. Now three weeks in, with no friends and hardly a place to call her home had helped regret start to settle in. So many things felt out of her control: the way her colleagues seemed to think she was a mess, the cashiers at the supermarket sighing because she still didn't understand the language, everyone from her hometown rolling their eyes when she announced she was leaving in a way that meant you're not gonna make it.

Yet being thrown outside her comfort zone, and being forced to move on however she could manage, made her feel at least some kind of thrive. Which was far more than she had back home.

As she walked down the street for some place to find shelter in, hands shaking and breaths almost uneven, a neon sign caught her attention. Even though she couldn't figure out the name, it looked like a pretty okay bar. She didn't need much convincing anyway; anything would do to get out of this freezing gale. She made her way in.

The warmth was a instant relief. Stripping down from the many layers of upper clothes, she took a quick glance to check the place out. Not many people, which was fair for a Wednesday evening. There was low music playing, mild chatter and a bunch of people sitting alone in the stools, which was a relief. At least she wouldn't be the only one.

As she ordered a beer (one of the few phrases she had made sure to master) she felt her hands come alive again. The beverage came along and she took a long, much anticipated sip. It tasted significantly different from the brands she was used to, but it was just fine. Alcohol is alcohol.

Finally feeling at ease, she took her phone out and started mindlessly scrolling through social media to kill some time. It was still early in the evening since she had just gotten out from work. An extra challenging day is what had led her to wander outside for a bit instead of heading back to the dull apartment she hadn't even been able to decorate yet. Going home right after would've led her to start overthinking if this job was even right for her, if she had gone crazy by moving hundreds of kilometres away from what she's always known, if her ex-girlfriend had been right when she accused her of being too impulsive, if it would be such a bad thing to give it up already and leave—

"Anteeksi, pudotit takkisi", she heard a voice say behind her.

When she turned around to give her "sorry I still don't speak Finnish" speech, she was met with a blue-eyed, dark-haired, funky but sweet looking guy holding her jacket, which she now understood had fallen to the floor. It caught her by surprise that she somehow forgot how to speak for a brief moment.

"Oh! Thank you, I hadn't noticed it was on the floor" she ended up answering, taking the jacket back as the man handed it to her with a confused look in his eyes. "Sorry, I'm not from here. I don't speak Finnish yet" she added with a small chuckle.

"No, don't worry, Finnish, uh- hard language to learn" he answered through an amusing smile, with a thick accent and a clear struggle to speak English.

She half laughed at his answer. Until now, people hadn't been so kind about the language-barrier impediment. "Yes, it is a little bit", she followed, now taking in his appearance.

Painted nails. Double nose piercings. Earrings. Facial hair. A bowl cut? Interesting choice, but it suited him surprisingly well. Her brain decided through that brief examination: he was cute. Attractively cute.

"You can try Duolingo. I use for my English, but don't work very very well" the man said the second part more as a correction to himself, making both of them laugh from the random half advice. He tried to fix it: "Maybe for you works better".

"Maybe. I'll check it out. Thank you again" her response was going to be followed by an invitation for him to sit down with her, as she felt a sudden wave of boldness: I need to make some friends in this town or else I'll go crazy. But a group of three other guys that had come in after him caught her stranger's attention.

"Jere, istuimme takapöydässä", one of them said to him, while walking to a table at the back corner of the bar.

"Olen tulossa" he turned around to answer, then looked at her once more, "I go now with my friends. Enjoy your beer" he smiled and small-waved goodbye, as she copied his gesture. "Enjoy your evening".

That small interaction was enough for her to spend the next half hour looking up from her phone, which she had retreated to, to glance at him from time to time. His group of friends and him seemed to be having a good time, and she enjoyed the view of him. He looked like a very interesting person, too, and if she was being honest, she hadn't been struck by someone new in quite some time. Not by her neighbors, not by the people she was starting to coincide with at the grocery shop, not even by her co-workers.

She noticed him looking at her from time to time as well.

When her glass was empty and just as the clock on her phone struck seven, she got up and got prepared to face the freezing wind once again. At least it wasn't that long of a walk to her place.

She lingered for a moment before exiting the bar, then finally did so while warning herself not to get too caught up on the nice stranger she suddenly felt she was leaving behind. It was just a one minute interaction. You probably won't see him again. Quit this teenager act. Focus on the important tasks ahead of you.

It was already pitch black outside, snow accumulated on the sidewalks, the air was even colder than before.

Excitement started to bubble up in the pit of her stomach.

...

Two weeks had gone by and although she had been meaning to return to the bar, she just hadn't find the time to do so. Once the job's training period ended, the hectic rythm started. In her free time, when she wasn't taking care of the house or just resting, she was trying to find some language academy where she could actually properly learn Finnish. Cute guy had been right: Duolingo just didn't do the trick.

She had hoped he would appear around the neighborhood, that maybe he lived nearby. But there had been no luck. It was fine, though. She knew she would let go of it rather quickly at that point, it's not like she had been thinking about his addictive smile or pretty eyes or soft-looking hands. Not at all.

It was Friday, and some acquaintances from work she had managed to pull off had invited her to a small gig. She didn't even remember the musician's name nor did she know where it was going to be, but nevertheless she was happy to go and actually get to have some fun with other people. Who knows, cute guy might even be there.

She didn't even realize they were headed to the bar until they were right in front of it. Inside, a small stage platform had been set up and tables and chairs had been removed to make space for the audience. It wasn't very spacey anyway, the place could hold about a hundred people squeezed together tops.

"Huh, hadn't even thought of this place as a venue" she let her thoughts trail out loud.

"Have you been here before?" her coworker Aubrey, who she had slightly bonded with because she was also a foreigner, asked her. "Only once" the girl explained, already searching for a certain someone's face in the crowd. "So, who have you brought me to see tonight?" she asked, in the hopes of at least getting some conversation non-work related flowing. "I don't really know, coming here was Mikko's idea. He's always trying to get us into these weird small rap-rock Finnish bands, and listen, I've lived here for over a year now and I still don't really get the hype" Aubrey explained making both of them laugh "But it always ends up being fun when we go out" she added.

The rest of the group had moved forward to get a good spot near the humble stage, as Mikko babbled on and on about nonsense the two women couldn't figure out from the distance. "Hey, I'm going to the bathroom real quick. Mind saving me a place?" (Y/N) asked her colleague, who answered affirmatively.

She made her way through the crowd in between "excuse me's" and "sorry's" but got there with quite ease. One of the two toilet doors had a sign that read "Out of order", so she knocked on the one that was left to check if anyone was inside. A voice that sounded vaguely familiar came from the other side: "Hetkinen, kiitos!"

Nervousness suddenly struck her. Is this who I think it is?

When the door opened there was no doubt. Cute stranger was standing in front of her.

"Oh! Hello" he blurted out just as he saw her, sounding surprised. Today he was wearing eye makeup and bottom eyeliner, which suited him very, very well. He has such a pretty face.

She realized now she had not been able to get over this guy in the two weeks of not seeing him, even though she didn't even know his name.

"Hi" was all she could manage to say. She had been looking for him when she entered the bar but she was convinced he was not actually going to be there, "It's good to see you!" she added, as a way of avoiding an awkward silence.

"You as well. You, uh, you come to... concert?" he inquired, struggling to find the last word while pointing towards the direction where the stage was to make sure he was being understood.

She noticed he was wearing an all yellow outfit that consisted of corduroy pants and a button up. He looks good in it.

"Yes, some work friends brought me here. But if I'm being honest I don't even know who's playing" she confessed, slightly covering her mouth with one of her hands to joke around, as if she had spilled a dark secret. Stranger burst out laughing. His laugh was cute. "Do you know if he's good? I wanna know if I'll be wasting my time or not" she asked him, pretending to be a diva to keep his laugh going.

He had his arms crossed and his tongue between his teeth as he slightly giggled. "No, I think he's pretty ok. I think you will like, even if no understand" his answer was playful and accompanied with another small laugh. She continued joking around, this time putting her hands up in pretend self defense "Hey, I'll try my best. Maybe using Duolingo for two days actually did something" she shot back, realizing after saying those words that she had just told Mr. Stranger she had followed his advice.

He narrowed his eyes and tilted his head playfully "You did what I say to you" he stated. "Yes, but you were right. It's not really helpful. Now I just keep getting emails from the goddamn owl and feel scared that he's going to find me and kill me for not going back to the app" she explained exaggeratedly, which made their giggles grow bigger and even he bent his knees with laughter.

Their little chit-chatting was cut when a man who looked like he had been searching for someone stopped in his tracks at the beginning of the bathroom hall and shouted at them: "Jere, sinun vuorosi on kymmenen minuutin kuluttua". She turned around to look at the source of the voice and then back at stranger when he answered "Minä menen nyt". She wished she knew what they were saying, but she assumed it had just been his friend telling him to hurry up. Also, was Jere his name? She had heard it two times already.

"Someone's always calling out for you", she commented when they were left alone again. "It's because me popular, yes yes" he joked, putting a hand to his chest and shrugging. "Listen, I go now. Concert starting soon" he explained, pointing out to the stage's direction once again "I see you there?" he asked, eyebrows raised as he put a hand to her shoulder, looking into her eyes. His blue ones had her mind going blank for a moment. That seemed to happen a lot when he was around. "Uh- yeah, sure, see you there". He smiled again then moved past her to return to the hall. She stared at him leave as she opened the door to the bathroom and finally went inside, smiling to herself and biting her bottom lip.

She hurried back once she was finished not only in fear of missing out the start of the concert, but more so in fear of not finding him again. Aubrey raised her hand to catch her attention and she followed the lead back to the group. The place was packed, it was hot, and there was a lot of chatter going on.

"What took you so long?", Aubrey asked as she got to her side, just in front of the stage, "They're about to start". (Y/N) was standing on her tiptoes and turning her head in all directions. She had just talked to him and the bar was not that big: where the hell had he hid himself?

"There was a long line to the bathroom..." she started off distantly, then turned to face Aubrey "Hey, this is going to sound weird, but have you seen-" just when she was going to make the question, she noticed some people walking up to the stage and everyone started cheering.

As she looked up, she couldn't have been more dumbfounded.

It was him. Mr Stranger was the one performing tonight.

"Hei kaikille, miten meillä menee tänään?" he shouted out to the public, (Y/N) assumed as a way of greeting everyone. He took no time noticing she was right there, which made him grin even wider. "I see we have international people tonight. Good" he said while looking directly at her. She felt her coworkers eyes on her.

"Do you know him?" Aubrey whispered-shouted to her, "I- uh, no, yes? Briefly" she responded back as he continued on in Finnish. She remembered the question she had made him earlier and mentally facepalmed. This cheeky dude. Lying to her face just so he could later get her reaction.

Since there was no way of understanding what he said, she concentrated on what she could see. Two men behind him wearing pink shirts and shorts and sunglasses. A DJ table, no instruments. There was a sign hanging from the wall that read "Käärijä". Was that his artistic name? She was very intrigued by everything going on and wondered what genre he was going to play.

She had no idea what was coming.

As soon as he stopped talking and the music started playing, his demeanor changed. His stare became fiercer, his movements provocative and unleashed. He walked around the stage like he owned it, stared at the audience like he knew they would do whatever he asked them. Every beat before he started singing rumbled inside her, made her hold her breath in anticipation. She let it out once the words started to fall from his mouth.

The lyrics could have been shit for all she knew. His deep voice, the exotic pronunciation, the hard rapping from the boy who had seemed so sweet and wholesome but was now showing another side of him, the song's rhythm and tone. She was all in. So in, that her body started swaying to the sound almost like an automatic response, and jumped around alongside everyone else when the music demanded to do so.

"Ok, he's really good" she said to her coworkers as the crowd sung alongside him. "Mikko, you were right, he's really good" she insisted to the boy beside her, who was clearly enjoying himself. "I told you!" he answered amidst chanting, "Jere is my most talented friend". Oh, okay. Mental note taken.

As he performed his songs, (Y/N) couldn't help but admire the dedication Jere put on and the absolute fun he looked like he was having. Also, she realised he was at least kind of known around here, because people were singng alongside him.

The head banging, self touching, slightly undressing and sticking his tongue out only added more to his eclectic movements and gestures that made the show feel like a mix of energetic, passionate and, why deny it, lascivious state. Her eyes were glued to him in a capitative stare, that he would catch from time to time and hold for a few seconds. Then he would turn to his attention somewhere else, but a smirk would make a clear appearance on his face.

Whenever he finished a number, the loud clapping allowed him some time to take a sip of water. The clothes he was wearing and its material soon became unbearable, which lead him to take his shirt off completely. "Sorry, it is hot in here" he stated into the microphone pretending to excuse himself as a joke, as everyone in the room made a fuss about it. He was heavily sweating all over his face, neck and torso.

If she had previously been absorbed by him, at this point it was almost unbearable. She had not expected to see so much exposed flesh, and the pectoral tattoo nearly had her weak on her knees.

For some reason, freehing himself from his clothes somehow made him behave even wilder from then on out. He started getting closer to the front row, some even holding out their arms to interact with him, him receiving the gesture with no issue. The Fin looked so confident in what he was doing, it only made her feel even more attracted to him.

He moved so quickly (Y/N) didn't even have time to process when he positioned himself right in front of her, amidst performing a song, and full on stroked her cheek for a few lasting moments, all the while mainting direct eye contact. It was as if no one else had been around them, as if this instant had been theirs only. She didn't respond to the touch by touching him herself, since she couldn't find the strength to be as bold; but the breath hitching and swallowing saliva right after were a clear sign to Jere that he made her feel things. He would quite probably feel embarrassed about it later, but right now it made him feel close to powerful.

The whole gig ended on a high note, the applause was strong and lasting. (Y/N) clapped her hands so fast they even started hurting a little, and could understand through the noise that Jere was thanking everyone for coming out to see him. As he was about to exit the stage, some music started playing over the speakers as to signal that the performance was over and everyone could retreat to either leave the bar or get a drink and stay there for a longer while. As the people from the front row turned around and waited to have a chance to move, (Y/N) felt a hand on her shoulder.

Jere looked exhausted, but it also seemed like the whole night had riled him up. "You don't leave now?", he meant to ask, but came out more as a plead. She wouldn't even dream of doing so right now. "No, no, I'm staying" she rushed to answer. "Good. Wait for me?" he went on. She could only manage to nod her head yes. He smiled and quickly went "backstage" to freshen up.

"Okay, what the actual hell was that?" Aubrey took no time to pry her, "It did not look like knowing each other briefly". (Y/N) shrugged while putting her hands in the air and half laughing, not knowing how to beat those allegations.

"It's classic Jere. Finds a girl cute and cannot stop himself" Mikko chimed in, while grinning, "Now I understand, you must be the girl he saw a couple of weeks ago over here, right?"

"He's talked about me?" she said, a bit shocked, while Mikko lead the way for the three of them to go grab a drink. "Yes, well, now that I connect the dots, that evening you came here, it was a Wednesday, right? I came too, but it must've been after you left. When I arrived he was commenting it".

Some of the other coworkers were starting to leave, not without commenting the elephant in the room before grabbing the door. "You're gonna be the talk of the office now", Aubrey asserted, making Mikko laugh and (Y/N) grow redder by the minute. "I don't even- we haven't even talked that much, really. But watching him onstage was..." she trailed off, letting out a sigh and grabbing the drink Mikko offered her, thanking him in the process. "Yes, it's his special trait. That magnetism he holds is what's gonna get him places", he agreed.

"Okay, but does this whole act mean that he always does this? Like, does he take advantage of his concerts to mindlessly flirt with random people?" (Y/N) suddenly tried to rationalize the fast track of actions Jere was taking on with her. Sure, she liked him, and she really, really wanted to have some fun. Needed it, even. This bonding moment with Aubrey and Mikko right now, this non-work related, exciting chatter; the going out; as precipitating as it sounds she was starting to feel like she was finally making friends, establishing a life. But she also didn't want to be played around with.

"Ohhh, no, not necessarily" her coworker laughed, calming her down "Käärijä the performer is seductive, provocative, even uncontrollable" he took a sip from his drink, "But Jere the person is another story. Dude wouldn't even hurt a fly, I mean it" he reassured her. He then was about to say something else, but stopped on his tracks when they all noticed the man of the hour and the tow men who had performed with him coming over to them. However, he quickly commented to the girls the following before Jere could hear them: "If anything, he's the one who has been played around with".

Jere approached Mikko first, going in for a hug, which made total sense given the fact that they were friends. (Y/N) appreciated it, because his last comment had caught her by surprise. He had changed into some track pants and graphic loose t-shirt, and over all he already looked far more calmed down and back to his more, to put it some way, innocent self. Aubrey and (Y/N) exchanged a look before introducing themselves to the guys in pink, who had not changed their outfits. Their names were Jaakko and Aleksi.

"Hey, I recognize you. You were all in the bar that day I was here" she said as a realization. "Yes, we were planning tonight" Aleksi answered, "Did you like it?" he added, to both her and Aubrey.

While the four of them engaged in small talk, the girls understood that Mikko was congratulating his friend on his performance and Jere was thanking him, "Kiitos, Mikko, arvostan sitä todella", he said with appreciation on his face, closed smile and big puppy eyes (Y/N) couldn't ignore. With one last ruffle on his hair from Mikko, the two men stayed with one arm over the other's back and turned to the group.

"Alright, let's talk in English now so we can all understand each other..." Mikko started off. "I see you guys have already introduced yourselves, very good. Now let me introduce you girls to Käärijä himself, although maybe a certain someone doesn't need it" he playfully remarked, making Jere look away while hiding his face and (Y/N) roll her eyes. "Jere, these are (Y/N) and Aubrey from work. Aubrey, (Y/N), this is Jere" he played around using a formal tone and letting out of their embrace.

"Nice to meet you" Aubrey answered, shaking hands with him and gently pushing (Y/N) forward once she was done to signal her to do so as well.

"I finally know your name" he commented, making her chuckle, "Yes, I guess you do". Mikko and Aubrey swiftly moved to give them some space, going over to Jaakko and Aleksi, who were all in in the same unspoken plan.

"You like the show?" he seemed a bit nervous as he rested his elbow on the counter and signaled the waiter to get him a drink, while attentively listening to her answer, "Honestly, I'd never been to one quite like this. I mean, I've been to rock concerts and such, but this energy you guys put on stage was totally new for me. I really enjoyed it tho, you're really good" she sincerely said.

"Oh, thank you, really" Jere put a hand to his chest as to show gratitude, "It was first concert after months of not doing", he further explained, "So means a lot all people who come here, yes. I'm so happy for this, I was worried if not work well". He sounded so humble (Y/N) couldn't help but grow to like his personality even more. She was curious to know why he hadn't played in a way, but also didn't want to intrude, so she opted for another response. "Well you should be. We all had a blast".

"You understand anything I sing?" he wondered with a perky smirk, before taking a sip from the beer that had just landed in front of him. "I didn't need to", she let it out without giving it a second thought, almost as if this was the only real answer she could give, which to her felt absolutely true. He was shocked by it and spilled some of the drink out, quickly catching the dripping by covering his mouth with a napkin.

"Ah, I make fool of me now, great!" he tried to cover up by playing down the incident. She couldn't stop laughing out loud, some people even noticing the whole scene between the two of them, specially Mikko and company who laughed as well from a distance, "That's what you get for lying to me before" she joked, but grabbed a napkin as well to clean his shirt up, softly patting it on his chest. "Sorry, I wanted to surprise" he justified. It was in that moment that she noticed they were almost the same height. When her gaze moved upward from the stain she was cleaning up, his stare was way closer than she had thought. He carried on talking.

"Also, before, I hope I not make you... uh-, mikä on sana epämukavalle?" he looked over at Mikko for help regarding a language inquire.

"Uncomfortable"

"Yes, that" Jere said, "I hope I not make you uncom... uncomfortable when I, you know-" he tried to explain himself, struggling with the pronunciation. He stroked his own cheek to interpret what he attempted to say. "Oh! No no, don't worry, it was- it was okay. I liked it, actually", his relief was evident after she assured him. He let out a nervous giggle.

Then, something caught his attention. His gaze had travelled to the door, past (Y/N), and what he saw made his face turn dead serious, although also sad. Mikko, Aleksi and Jaakko very quickly noticed what was happening. Aubrey and (Y/N) also turned around to check it out: a girl was standing by the entrance looking for someone with a worried expression.

"Miten uskallat tulla tänne?" Jaakko expressed angrily. The three men addressed Jere, who suddenly was a loss of words and course of action.

"Ex alert" Aubrey whispered to (Y/N) while sipping from her drink's straw. "They're asking him if he wants to go talk to her" she informed her friend, which (Y/N) was thankful for. It was really tiring to not catch anything on her own sometimes. While the four men were talking to each other, deciding what to do next, (Y/N) grabbed Jere's arm and everyone's attention fell on her. She just couldn't stop strongly empathizing with him because she had also recently been through a break up and knew how shitty it was. Jere seemed more at ease when she talked, "Are you okay? Do you want to get out of here?" he looked past her again, everyone following his direction and realizing his ex was coming over to them. "I do, please", "Then we're getting out of here", (Y/N) decided, "You guys coming?" she asked the rest. "No, you guys go on. We'll make sure she doesn't follow" Mikko stated, thankful for her determination.

They said rushed goodbyes and (Y/N) got ahold of his hand to guide him towards the door. When they walked past her, she tried to talk, but they were quick to get out.

As per usual, it was freezing. They started to wander off to anywhere.

...

"I'm sorry about having to go"

They had found a comfortable spot in a park overlooking the town's river and had settled there. They had walked for a while, him trying to talk about anything else but his ex.

"Don't sweat it. I fully understand" she comforted him, then took the vape he had previously offered to her and took a puff before continuing, "I got broken up with three months ago... I hate to admit it, but it's part of the reason I ended up deciding to move here", she explained. He listened to her attentively, with a stern face.

The night was silent over here. It was only the sound of the stream and their hushed voices

"Can I ask why the break up?" he inquired, not wanting to pry on too much. "Only if I can ask why the break up", she made him chuckle. "Yes, of course" he accepted.

"She said I was too impulsive and that she couldn't trust me to maintain a steady and stable relationship, because I couldn't even do that with my own life" she sighed after her explanation and rolled her eyes.

"Wow" Jere said, disapproving look on his face "Hard thing to say".

"Yes, but honestly, I don't hold a grudge anymore. She had her right to think that way too. I do so too sometimes" she admitted, handing back the electronic cigarette, since they were taking turns to smoke.

"That's shit" he commented, which made them both laugh, "But I understand, too. "My ex, Sofia, that's her name, she uh- said she not approve of music career" his gaze moved upfront, "She said It's either me or music, and I think she not like my answer" Jere let out a half-sad cackle, "This is all I ever wanted to do. I loved her, I feel like I still do a bit, you know? But..." he nodded negatively before finishing the sentence, "I need someone who give support. What I told you before, the not doing concerts? A part of it was because I got, uh, insecure".

Silence fell between them as they both got lost in their own thoughts for a brief moment.

"You know, for someone who claims to not be good at English, you can maintain quite a deep conversation" her words made him belly laugh again. He looked at her and handed the vape once more. "Don't need Duolingo for that" he referenced. He was about to speak again but cut himself. "You can go on, it's fine", his doe-like blue eyes seeped cherishment.

"Oh, I not know, talking about ex was not in my plans when being alone with a girl I like" he made her blush, "I just thinking that, you know, I'm almost... mikä on sana" he struggled again with the language "Thirty year old?" he doubted if he had said it right, and the girl nodded to indicate him he had, "Thirty year old, and when younger I thought Oh, I achieve my dreams at thirty, have the family, all that... You know? And... nothing of that" he described, "My songs, some say that. But you not understand, so..." he added jokingly to lighten the mood, erupting laughter from her.

"Hey, I'm trying really hard to find a place where I can learn Finnish! Give me a break..." she defended herself, while the giggling from both of them died down. "But, just so you know, most of us feel this way too. Having your life figured out at thirty? That only happens to the lucky ones, I can assure you" she saw his tired expression and put a hand to his shoulder, "And by the way, you're crazy talented. We were all mesmerized by your performance. You can get to whatever place you want to be, and if you don't, well... It won't be because of your fault".

They were once again looking in each other's eyes. His gaze travelled down to her mouth. They were sitting close to one another as to avoid the cold wind. Her heart beat faster. How come did she feel like he had known him for such a long time if this was practically their first ever proper conversation? Yet she couldn't fight it. She had seen so many sides of him in such a short amount of time; she swore she'd never been that much of a romantic but the alcohol, mixed with how vulnerable they both felt in that moment and the fact that she was finally feeling at ease after more than a month of such a big change in her life, probably did the trick.

"Can- can I...?" he started nervously, but was interrupted.

"Yes"

Their lips crashed, finally killing the anticipation. Her hands cupped his face and his ones settled on her waist. She felt his long eyelashes touch her face, his beard tickled her jaw and his hoop piercing was cold on her nose. (Y/N) enjoyed feeling all these parts of Jere on her. He truly was so pretty. And suddenly, she wanted to make sure he knew just how pretty he was and how much he deserved to know it. The wave of boldness she had had to ask him to sit down with her those two weeks ago, but had been interrupted, came back as a stronger force.

When they separated to catch their breath, (Y/N) kept his face close to hers. He was panting through a timid smile and hot red burned his cheeks. She noticed her face doing the same thing.

"My apartment is a five minute walk from here" she suggested.

"Meidän on hyödynnettävä sitä" he whispered, hands going up and down her sides, and the Finnish language had never sounded so seductive to her.

"I didn't catch that",

"You don't need to. I will show you".

[iamnmbr3]

harry definitely not heterosexual potter is the funniest thing to me because i literally cannot remember a single time in the book where he thinks “i should probably be nervous about draco trying to kill me because i am literally convinced that he is willingly working with voldemort.” no. he was like “oh draco? yeah he is definitely working for voldemort and he is so evil because did you see the way he is combing his hair now? probably switched shampoo. he would never change conditioner, that thing works wonders. what do you mean, this is common knowledge. anyway, he is so evil and definitely working for voldy. but of course he won’t kill me, are you crazy? who would he talk to across the great hall? like literally you don’t even understand.” and everyone just WENT WITH IT.

Hahahahaha I KNOW! Would he feel this safe around literally any other person who he suspected of being in league with Voldemort? I think tf not!

Even once Draco has Harry incapacitated and totally at his mercy on the train Harry at no point thinks that he's in danger. Even after Draco breaks his nose he doesn't think it. After that incident Harry still is all 'can't wait to break into the Room of Requirement BY MYSELF while Draco is in there so I can see what secret evil mission he's working on for Voldemort' and at no point does he worry that going in without backup could end badly. And HE'S RIGHT. When Draco has Harry at his mercy he never seriously harms him and risks everything multiple times in book 7 to protect him. This is NOT Harry seeing Draco with rose tinted glasses. This is Harry deeply and intimately understanding that Draco will not hurt him and feeling comfortable around him on an instinctual level despite every reason he has not to.

And let's not forget why Harry finally stops investigating Draco in 6th year. It's not because he decides he's wrong about his whole "Draco is a Death Eater on a mission from Voldemort" theory nor is it because he gets worried that since Draco is a Death Eater on a mission from Voldemort looking into this could get Harry or his friends hurt. No. He stops because his investigation leads to Draco getting hurt. And Harry is so horrified by this that he completely backs off and gives up trying to stop the super secret evil mission from Voldemort that Harry is sure Draco is on. Harry is like 'foiling an evil plot masterminded by Voldemort himself isn't worth it if it could lead to me hurting Draco.' He really said 'I can excuse putting myself in mortal danger on a regular basis to stop Voldemort's plots but I draw the line at Draco being upset.' In canon.

And yeah Harry cares about people in general but not to this extent. When Umbridge gets carried off by centaurs Harry doesn't even think of going after her. He's just like 'lmao bye bitch.' He straight up KILLS Quirrell in first year and when he finds out he's like 'well that sucks for him.' Tons of Death Eaters get hurt and maimed at the Department of Mysteries and Harry never even stops to check if they're ok. In second year he forces Lockhart to enter the Chamber of Secrets first in case there's a Basilisk waiting at the bottom of the chute.

But anytime he sees Draco in danger he does whatever he can to help without even thinking about it. From the time in first year in the Forbidden Forest when he immediately throws his arm out to stop Draco walking towards Voldemort to 7th year when he risks his own life and that of his friends to pull him out of the fiendfyre and reveals his presence while running through the battle so he can stun a Death Eater threatening Draco. And he does it automatically, without a second thought because Harry can't fathom a world where he wouldn't protect Draco.

[forcedtogrow]

Addressing Pre-T, Pre-transition Anons

I’m getting quite a few asks from pre-T guys about how much you can change your body pre-T, what exercises to do, how to fix body fat redistribution etc. and it has gotten to be a little too much so im making a blanket post regarding this topic. This post is MY VIEWS AND LIMITS. I am not trying to bully anyone, this is a kink blog for fun and I am not a teacher/doctor/counselor/therapist or parent. I am a fun big brother lmao.

1. There’s only so much you can change your body pre-T, and it’s totally dependent on your genetics and dedication to lifting/gaining muscle. Some guys are lucky and can easily pass without T by just working out, I wasn’t one of them but I’ve seen a handful of guys that did that before T. Even then, some of those guys needed T to get rid of an hourglass/pear shape.

2. You can’t spot lose body fat in hips/thighs/ass. You’d need to lose body fat everywhere, but pre-T your body is most likely to hold onto lower body fat because biology wants those fat reserves to make babies. It’s gross and dysphoria inducing but it’s true.

3. It’s worth it to work out pre-T, especially lifting, to create a solid base to work from. If you already have that you’ll grow so fast on T it’ll feel like magic. I won’t lie that it’s frustrating and awful, because I’ve been there and it feels like spinning the pedals on a bike without moving, but it does pay off.

4. Stay balanced with your diet and don’t force yourself into a crazy calorie deficit. It might not be the time to bulk if you feel like your body is reserving most energy as fat (could be your genetics or activity level), but maintaining a baseline that’s Not underweight is a good start.

5. I’m not in a place to tell you to bulk or cut, especially if I don’t know your height/weight/age/activity level. I am not a doctor or dietician and can only say what works for me and people I know.

6. Don’t just focus on one part of the body, do a full push/pull/legs routine at the very least. Like this: https://www.aston.ac.uk/sport/news/tips/fitness-exercise/push-pull-legs or this for a 6 day split: https://www.muscleandstrength.com/workouts/6-day-powerbuilding-split-meal-plan

You need to build full body strength, and more leg muscle can actually masculinize your body and make your hips more boxy.

7. If you can’t transition medically/socially for whatever reason your main focus should be getting out of that situation. This is going to sound harsh but I know many trans people who risked a lot, some trans femme friends that literally risked their lives, and you have to decide what’s important to you. I’m being real because you will only regret waiting—there is no replacement for transition, there is no joy like transition, there is no pain great enough to negate the many many benefits of transition.

I don’t want to get messages like “what if it’s illegal where I live!” That’s not what I’m talking about. It’s sucks, but you either transition or you don’t, and if you don’t that’s up to you, but I cannot assist with that decision. I gave up a lot to transition and waited several years to start hrt for reasons too personal to disclose. I ruined relationships with family among other things, so please do NOT ask me for advice on this because I will not be coddling/sweet. Being a man is hard and messy and a sacrifice.

8. I will tell you what I eat and give general advice of bulking/eating but I will not make a meal plan for you. Every body has different needs that only you and a dietitian can work through, I’m not a licensed professional and don’t want anyone to take what I eat as the only way to eat.

9. If you cannot transition because you are a minor stay off my blog. Sorry!!

[heartkyeom]

now or never pt. 5 (finale)

xu minghao x fem!reader

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 (finale)

word count: 12.3k

synopsis: when you make a chance encounter with your ex, you end up saying that you're engaged to your estranged neighbor xu minghao. when you find out your ex is coming to your friend's wedding, you've only got a month to become a convincing couple.

warnings: cursing, oral sex, slight dumbification, alcohol, asshole ex!joshua, fighting, mostly domestic shit idk lmao

notes: after 5 months of restarting and almost giving up on this chapter entirely, the now or never series is complete. thank you all for loving this story so much, now or never is unlike anything I've ever written and I am so happy that it's finally done. I was scared that making the story so simple would turn people away, but I am grateful for all the support! shoutout to @maijunejuly + @flowerwonu for supporting this story so much <3 and thank you all for loving these two and watching them fall in love! I hope this is a satisfying ending, longtime readers I'm giving you a big smooch on the cheek

taglist: @kwonranghae @butterfliesinthenightsky @sugarrimajins @cosmicwintr @lztespring @justasoftstan @lilactangerine @jeongiegram @hoohoohope @trashygigi @itzelise06 @bonsaijoons @playboygeniusphilanthropist @thedeeppoet @mo-onlar @kyoko-22 @thesunsfullmoon @jungish @twancingyunhao @knucklesdeepmingi @crystal-phoenix-and-silver-fox @jaehyunfilms @awyunh @fiantomartell @milk-leaves @junoluvr @rhia-clyde

The morning of the wedding is particularly quiet in your shared hotel room. Since the wedding didn’t start until later that afternoon, it gave both of you an opportunity to settle into the day.

Thus, you’re not rushing out of bed, you’re interested in watching the sunlight filter through the curtains instead, insisting on letting yourself wake up slowly. You eventually turn your attention to your lover who is still sleeping peacefully beside you. You decide to stir up some movement with slow touches to his hair, trying not to move too harshly against his skin. 

He replies with a soft hum, idly turning his head towards you. His eyes are still closed though, it seems like a silent invitation for you to keep going. 

You decide to kick it up a notch with a few kisses along the side of his face, you feel his cheeks pull into a smile from the contact and you launch into giggles, resting your head on his neck.

“Well, good morning,” His voice is raspy in the way you love it, right on the edge of sleep. 

“Good morning,” You reply, you can’t help but kiss his neck and he lets out a gentle sigh.

“Big day, huh?” He asks softly. The anticipation stirs in your chest, but truthfully a medley of emotions seems to swarm there. 

You hum in confirmation, but it wasn’t your big day, not by any stretch of the imagination. Yet, your mind tries to play out all possible outcomes to the evening’s events due to your anxiety.

First, you could confront Joshua, verbally or physically, but likely the former since you don’t want to be kicked out of the wedding over him. You could approach him or he could come to you, it’s a matter of how the events unfold. 

Second, he could try to initiate confrontation, but you could refuse to engage. You could argue it’s not the time or place to hash out personal drama, especially not at a friend’s wedding, which would be correct. Sure, there would be about 100 other guests there and the booming music could cover up the conflict so seamlessly that no one is made aware of the situation, but you fear that it’s not worth the risk.

Third, you could end up avoiding each other altogether. Again, there were enough people attending that you could somehow not cross paths the entire night. This was the most likely option, as you probably wouldn’t muster up the courage to do anything. The tension would remain unaddressed and you’d likely still have a good night watching your friend get married, bolstered by free alcohol and Minghao’s companionship.

Fourth, the entirely fantastical option, Minghao would confront Joshua himself.

The odds are quite slim, but Minghao might not have the patience to engage in Joshua’s fake niceties. You don’t think it would turn physical, but Joshua would likely leave with his feelings hurt. Although you’ve never been caught in the crossfire of Minghao’s anger, it was best to avoid this option if at all possible. 

He adjusts himself so that he’s partially sitting up against the headboard of the bed, his eyes meeting yours. “Are you feeling okay about everything?” He inquires with a slight raise of his eyebrows.

“I am. Are you?”

“Yeah. Whatever you want to do, I’m fine with that,” He offers. Minghao had been quite compliant with your feelings about the situation in the past month, enough that it wasn’t surprising that he’d go full throttle on Joshua if needed. 

“So if I ask you to beat him up, you’ll do it?”

“Not sure about that,” he scoffs, “but if you want to escalate things, I’m fully supportive.” 

You nod to yourself in satisfaction, it was enough to push the fears to the back of your mind temporarily.

He ended up getting out of bed before you, of course, but you’re up soon enough, the both of you naturally weaving between each other to get ready for the morning. Before going to bed last night, you both agreed to ditch the hotel breakfast in favor of exploring the local restaurants in order to maximize your vacation time. 

You both settle on a seaside cafe with sweeping windows that overlook the coveted ocean, the main attraction of the small town. It’s not as busy as you expected, but there’s still lots of movement once you arrive. The combination of patrons talking over pastries with hot drinks, baristas manning the noisy coffee machines, and the indie pop music in the background are all just tolerable enough to make the venture outside of the hotel worth it.

You decide to indulge in chocolate chip pancakes while he opts for oatmeal with assorted berries on top. While eating across from him, it occurs to you that being out with Minghao in public is still such a foreign sensation.

The past month of getting to know him had been so insular, so concentrated on the apartment complex that you were almost enveloped in the relationship completely, it almost felt suspicious for it to exist in the real world.

Sure, you’ve been out in public together numerous times.

Yet, there’s a way his eyes fixed on yours, the way he dissolved into giggles just from looking at you. When you ask him what’s wrong, he just shakes his head and looks down at his plate again, but you’re sure it’s love.

His hands aren’t hesitant when they grab yours out of habit, forcing you to place down your fork.

He plants kisses on the back of your hands, insisting that he had to do it right that second. Yet, he concedes by feeding you a few bites of your pancakes.

You’re sure it’s love by the way you move his hair out of his eyes, you call him handsome when he least expects it just to see the blush creep onto his cheeks.

It was a quiet yet showy affection all at the same time. There was a silent sense that you were both waiting to change the trajectory of your relationship, but you decided it can’t happen in the café.

As you finish the meal and the check is handled, it’s back to holding hands with a tight grip, barely restraining your romantic thoughts through such a simple gesture.

The walk back to the hotel is once again quite short, but any moment spent with Minghao felt worthy of experiencing.

—

“Can you zip me up?” 

“Of course,” Minghao is behind your back before you can get the question out, hands gently tugging up the black zipper. The late morning had slowly spun into the afternoon and he decided it would be best to start getting ready earlier rather than later.

You aren’t in a position to argue, seeing as your routines took a considerable amount of time no matter how formal or casual an event was. You figure it’s just him accounting for the inevitable second-guessing about accessories or the possible existential dread about attending the wedding altogether. 

Your dress is still incredibly bold, you think to yourself as you study your figure in the mirror. Minghao decided to make you a matching pair of gloves that only emphasized the beauty of the look.

“You look so beautiful,” He emphasizes it with a gentle kiss on the lips, craning his neck slightly to meet your face.

“Thank you,” You reach up to cradle his head and turn him toward the mirror. “You don’t look too bad yourself,” You tease, but it was a complete understatement. He was nearly done getting ready by the time he walked over to see you, but his black suit made him look even more handsome than you expected. 

He opted for his regular middle part, letting his shaggy black hair hang in front of his eyes. You asked him a few days ago if he wanted to get it cut for the wedding, but he knew you liked it too much to do anything. 

“Let me see your piercings,” You touched his ear and he moved to reveal the few pieces of silver jewelry that led down the shell of his ear. His piercings are something you always forget are there until he tucks a piece of hair behind his ear, but he lets you pick out the set he would wear today.  

“Gorgeous,” you affirm with a kiss on the cheek. 

“Do you have everything in your bag?” He gestures toward the desk, it currently has too many things strewn across it in your efforts to get ready.

“Shit,” You rush over to fill your clutch with the essentials you needed for the night and he laughs at your frantic energy.

“Relax, baby, we won’t be late,” He reassures you with a quiet voice. You notice that you’re clutching the lip gloss in your hand a bit too tight and relax your grip, dropping the item into your purse before zipping it up.

“Right,” you shut your eyes for a moment.

“We’ll be fine,” You feel his hands snake around your waist, pulling you flush against his chest. He could sense the tension in your muscles, he steadies your breathing with his own deep breaths, and you naturally follow his pattern.

“Thank you,” Your voice is barely above a whisper, you take another moment before turning around in his arms. 

“I just have to tell you again how sexy you look right now,” He admits with a sly grin. It makes you laugh with your whole body, nearly falling out of his arms from the combination of embarrassment and joy. 

You cock your eyebrow at him. “Don’t praise me too much or else we’re not making it out of here at all,” He lets out a short laugh. 

“I have no problem with that,” He grabs your face and peppers kisses all over your cheeks, despite your immediate protests.  

It helps you remember that no matter what happens at the wedding, this is what’s waiting for you afterward.

—

The venue is only a few minutes away from the hotel, so the drive is much shorter than you wanted it to be. You tried to wrench away the last of your nerves as you stared at the entrance of the country club, you noticed the other well-dressed guests and their occasional stares at you, your chest, and your hips.

He catches on and squeezes your hand. “Come on, we don’t wanna be late,” He pulls you gently into motion, and you instinctively wrap your arm around his. 

The venue is stunning, if not expensive, it definitely costs an arm and a leg to get married near the beach during peak wedding season. The wedding ceremony is outside, and the heat hits you the moment you make it through the back exit with Minghao. The late afternoon sun bore itself down on the guests, but you couldn’t exactly be upset when the atmosphere was so beautiful.

The space was a converted lawn that overlooked the nearby beach, the venue’s most anticipated view, and now prime wedding location. 

The arch, aisle, and individual seats were ivory-colored, each adorned with white floral arrangements. Most of the guests had filed in by the time you made it to your seats, but Minghao led you both to seats right near the aisle toward the back of the seating arrangements. 

There were a few things to keep your interest within the scenery itself, but Minghao mostly stayed quiet. Besides checking in once to see how you were feeling before the ceremony, he mostly observed the people around him. 

Namely, a baby that was in the row ahead of you. The infant was slightly fussy, understandably with the heat and noise from the live orchestra. The mother seemed slightly flustered trying to keep the baby under control, but Minghao’s interest seemed to catch the baby’s focus once he made himself known.

He babbled and made funny faces that made the baby stop crying, their watery eyes watching him in surprise. The cries soon turned to laughs as he gently pinched the baby’s cheek with his fingers, his cooing soothed their nerves almost instantly. There was something that stirred in your chest at the sight of him, your “not really fake” boyfriend being so gentle with the baby and the sight of his engagement ring could’ve made you cry on the spot.

It was almost like a glimpse into the future, a memory that you captured in your heart instantly. You hadn’t discussed anything past marriage yet, but this made you want to have the conversation soon.

Not that anything could happen in the immediate future, but something in you wondered if he would want to start a family with you someday. You’re snapped out of the daydream when you hear the mother thank him and he turns his attention toward you.

“What’s wrong?”

You shake your head. “Nothing,” You choose not to elaborate, to keep the feeling sacred in your chest. 

He notices how high your cheeks are from smiling and clutches your hand tighter than before.

A few minutes pass before the procession officially begins, the guests all rise from their seats and watch as the bridesmaids, groomsmen, the ring bearer, and the flower girl each have their moment walking down the aisle.

Mingyu is then escorted down the aisle with his mother, and you realize this is the first time you’ve seen him in so long.. He settles at the altar and anxiously waits for his bride to join him, the entire crowd also holds an air of anticipation.

Once she steps into view, Mingyu looks absolutely enamored with the bride, he can’t stop beaming while watching her. You even see a few tears fall from his cheeks and it makes the moment even more precious.

You wonder how that feeling would settle into your bones, knowing that you’ve built such a strong bond with someone that there’s no other option than to marry them. 

Despite your initially rash decision, the longer you were living with the concept of getting married, the more it started to scare you.

Sure, you liked the idea of wedding planning, picking out a dress, and all the other decisions that were meant to be a dream come true, but being at a wedding was completely different. It was a visualization of months of effort to bring so many different elements together that you feel almost intimidated by it.

Yet, there’s no reason for you to even have cold feet, you two aren’t even formally in a relationship! You have all the time in the world to let the relationship bloom completely, you know he wouldn’t jump into anything too quickly.

You sit with all these feelings as the ceremony goes on, their vows to each other are filled to the brim with adoration and care for one another. 

This was a result of years invested into a relationship, but how could you feel nearly the same way, truly feel the descriptions of being cared for and protected beyond measure, after a few weeks? 

You tear up at how they speak so highly of each other because you love Minghao in this way, you love this person who has enriched your life so deeply that you can’t even recognize yourself from a few weeks ago.

As soon as they’re pronounced husband and wife, you watch them exchange that first kiss as if their bodies couldn’t bear to be apart for another second. You cry silently as you watch them through slightly blurry eyes, the realization is all a bit too much to bear at the moment. 

You force yourself to keep sniffling occasionally until the ceremony is over, but the moment Minghao holds your hand as the rest of the crowd disperses, you lose the rest of your composure. 

Minghao glances over at you in slight shock. 

“Darling, what’s wrong?” His tone is especially warm tonight, and you know you can’t wait any longer to tell him.

“I love you,” You face him and cup his face in your hands. “I love everything about you and I mean that,” Your voice is choked by sobs, but you manage to get it all out.

You wanted this moment to be more private, but when you see the relief hit his face, the tension melts from his shoulders and he smiles so wide that you know he’s only focused on you.

“I love you too,” He can’t stop grinning, he’s on the brink of tears when you observe his eyes and you pull him into your arms immediately.

You stay there for a little while, just silently rocking each other in a tight hug. 

He finally whispers in your ear. “I think we’re missing the party,” He looks back at the brightly lit venue before facing you again. You finally hear the music thumping and come to your senses.

“Yeah, I think so. We don’t want to miss the speeches, right?” You ask with a tilt of your head, a hint of a smile playing on your lips. 

—

The inside of the venue feels especially cozy now that the ceremony is over, the room is dimly lit and almost lulls you into a false sense of security. 

You’re acutely aware of Minghao’s hand around your waist, his fingers are idly running across the fabric of your dress and it eases your nerves once again. The room is lively, music and conversation fill the space to a decently loud volume that you still have to adjust to. You don’t spot Mingyu or the bride, but you’re sure they’re mingling happily amongst their guests. 

Your eyes scan across the room to find your table, but you turn to face Minghao in confusion. “Do you remember our table number?”

“It was 13,” He speaks over the music and turns to look for the table in question, letting out a quiet hum when he spots it. He points to the table and you both head over, not seeing the other guests in view quite yet. You can tell it’s fairly full, and you decide that you weren’t against getting to know new people. 

That’s what you tell yourself until he’s the first person you spot at your table. 

Fucking hell. 

Of course, he’s at your table, looking at you expectantly. You can almost see a glint of regret in his eyes when you adjust your posture, but you look at her before you can fixate on his expression for too long. 

She’s glowing in that expectant mother kind of way, you almost feel uneasy when she offers you a smile. You’re certain that your thoughts are pulling you too far back into your brain when Seokmin makes himself known.

“Look at you two, it’s been a while,” He chats excitedly, eyes disappearing with that brilliant smile of his. He directs his attention at you first.

“You look absolutely stunning!” He opens his arms for a hug and you happily oblige, placing your arms on his back in a tight embrace. “Thank you,” You’re nearly breathless by the time he pulls away, but still happy nonetheless. 

“I need to know where you got this dress, I can’t get over it,” Seokmin gushes, he gives you a once over before smiling up at you again. 

“Oh, he made it for me,” You respond easily, you’re determined not to shy away from the compliment. You look at Minghao briefly and he returns a smirk, but it’s affirming, you’re grateful that your confidence has yet to waver.

“I’m not shocked at all,” He pulls Minghao into a hug and pats him on the back, “he’s always had a good eye.” Minghao laughs and pulls himself into conversation with the journalist easily. You realize that it’s rude to not at least acknowledge the other people at the table, but you’re pleasantly surprised by the sight of Soonyoung and Chan, who are both equally excited to see you.

The table arrangement is overwhelmingly positive besides the obvious, but it was likely out of convenience that Mingyu’s college friends were all arranged together at one table. 

Soonyoung and Chan sweep you away from the table in a hurry, giving you no room to look at Joshua for even a second longer. “I feel like it’s been ages since I’ve seen you,” Chan is beaming when he pulls you into a tight hug. Weeks felt like months now that you were out of the hypothetical bubble, but you start to feel guilt in the pit of your stomach. 

“Yeah, your man really pulled you away from your friends,” Soonyoung jokes as you embrace him toward your chest. You laugh into his suit jacket, but the fact still remains. You hadn’t updated them nearly enough on the situation recently, especially not about your revelation toward Minghao. 

You didn’t want to become that person who neglected their friends once you got into a relationship, you didn’t want to be consumed by him that you forget to live outside of him. You pull away from the hug and look at both of them with wistful eyes. You don’t have any excuses, to be honest. 

“Sorry that I’ve been hiding, it wasn’t intentional,” You shake your head pathetically, shifting your eyes down to your feet before looking up at them again.

“It’s not okay, we’ve been starving for details,” Chan replied with a cheeky grin. “But we’re happy you’re okay,” Soonyoung interjects. 

“You two look like you’re in love,” Soonyoung leads the two of you further away from the table to make sure Minghao is completely out of earshot. 

“Wait, are you in love with him?” Soonyoung clutches your arm and you see that Chan is anxiously awaiting the answer too. 

You chuckle lightly and lower your voice. “I confessed to him earlier,” you whisper. The men both gasp in excitement, giving you proud smiles that invite you in so easily. 

“I knew it,” Chan pats Soonyoung’s shoulder as a sly smile plays on his lips. 

“We both did,” Soonyoung puts a hand on your shoulder, “there was no way you were getting out of this without catching feelings.” You start to blush and look for a way out, taking a glance around the room.

You want to focus on other guests, what they’re wearing, the gossip that’s on their lips, but you can only look for him. He’s not too far, of course, but your heart can’t slow until you see him. 

You lock eyes with him and his face noticeably softens. You watch his smile spread to his cheeks before turning away. “Let’s get drinks before the speeches start,” You nod in the guys’ direction and they approve the decision immediately.

You settle on a vodka soda from the bar and lazily nurse your first drink in your hand, occasionally taking a sip while talking to Soonyoung and Chan.

It was ultimately a good idea to drink now, you thought it best to have your senses slightly blurred when facing the elephant in the room. 

You needed just a bit of liquid courage, not too much to make it through whatever the night had yet to present. Once all three of you had mingled to your heart’s content, you made your way back to the table with a newfound confidence. 

As you took a seat next to Minghao, his hand found your thigh instantly. 

He leans in to whisper against your ear. “Enjoying yourself?” 

You feel yourself blush. “Yeah, just needed a little pick me up,” You reciprocate the action and he runs his hand along your leg in affirmation.

“Good,” He pulls away with a nod. It’s a bit cheeky, but you wouldn’t fold for him like this, not yet at least.

“More importantly, how are you holding up?” You place your chin in the palm of your hand, gazing at him softly. The upbeat music and distant conversations from other tables make you feel a bit fuzzier while making eye contact with him.

“I’m good, Seokmin kept me pretty occupied thankfully,” He sucks his teeth and lets out a sigh. You nod in a silent understanding, you wish you had the ability to diffuse tension like he could. 

“Hopefully it’s smooth sailing,” You reassure him with a gentle smile, one that he accepts with a small grin. You say it in an effort to soothe the hint of doubt in your own mind, but you were getting ahead of yourself. 

There weren’t any problems yet, so why create them out of thin air? 

You only had to idle for a few more minutes before the speeches got into full swing. The maid of honor and best man both had emotionally touching speeches that kept everyone’s spirits high. It was emotional for both the bride and groom, who you noticed wiping stray tears on occasion while listening to their loved ones. It was clear that they were surrounded by a supportive circle who were excited to send them off on their new journey as newlyweds. 

The real trouble was dinner.

You learned that Mingyu loved cooking, so the spread for the meal was quite thorough enough to suit a variety of dietary restrictions and tastes. Once each of you had gone up to get food, and in your case extra alcohol, you could no longer delay the inevitable.

The tension was unbearably thick.

The sound of utensils scraping against plates and the occasional clink of glassware were the only noises that filled the silence amongst the table. 

As much as your second and third drinks were continuing to soothe your nerves, the presence of alcohol could only do so much. Each person at the table had varying levels of familiarity with the situation at hand, but it wasn’t their place to instigate anything, so the silence endured.

“How was your trip up here, Y/N?” Joshua asked suddenly.

“It was fine, we drove up,” You held your composure at the question, making eye contact with him briefly before looking down at your plate to take another bite of your food.

“Nice, so you got to prepare how you were going to lie to everyone, right?”

“What?” You look up at him with a deadpan expression. You notice Minghao shifting in his seat  next to you. He seriously wasn’t trying to do this over dinner, right?

“You know what I’m talking about, Y/N, don’t play dumb,” He scoffed at you. You glance at Seokmin, who is clearly confused at his apparent line of questioning. Soonyoung and Chan both seemed to catch on immediately.

“No, Joshua. I don’t know what you’re talking about. Enlighten me,” You smile at the end of your response. You lean back in your chair and tilt your head slightly.

If he wanted to embarrass you, he was going to have to work for it.  

“When did you get engaged, Y/N?”

“Joshua, what the hell are you doing?” His girlfriend interjected.

“No, it’s okay,” You reassure her with a nod but she still looks concerned on your behalf. “It was 2 months ago. He set up a picnic for us like our first date, it was lovely.”

“When are you getting married?”

The detail you discussed with Minghao during the road trip immediately came to mind. “This time next year, so sometime during the summer, we’re still early in the planning phase. Anything else?”

“You didn’t even have your ring on when I met him with you,” Joshua stutters through his words.

“I knew I had a long day of work ahead of me without much sleep the night before so I naturally forgot. Minghao told you that I forgot it. You knew I had terrible sleep issues while we were together, or did you conveniently forget that so it could fit your narrative about me?” You tilt your head slightly, the answer comes together almost too easily.

That response earned a light chuckle from Minghao, and everyone else at the table knew they were in for a show.

“Your relationship is fake, no matter how much you delude yourself or him. I honestly can’t believe you got him to do this in the first place,” Joshua sets his jaw in frustration. You adjust your posture once more so you can properly read Joshua to filth. It was fun being a bit underhanded with Joshua, but now he was getting unnecessary.

“First of all, you don’t speak for him or me. The fact that you have nothing better to do than to interrogate me about my relationship is a sign that you can’t bear to think of me being happy without you,” Your tone remains firm as you let out your innermost thoughts.

“I’m clearly in love with him and that bothers the shit out of you because you’re miserable as fuck. The fact that you’re an emotionally stunted dickhead is not my problem. You should be worrying about becoming a father and minding your business, but here you are making a fool out of yourself,” Joshua seems to shrink slightly behind your words, but you don’t lose your momentum.

“I don’t know what your goal was in trying to humiliate me in front of my friends and my fiancé, but you’re a fucking loser and I suggest you spend some time getting your head out of your ass. Fuck you.”

You take a sharp exhale. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom,” You don’t hesitate to stand up and make a beeline away from the table.

You don’t stop walking through the seemingly endless halls until you’re in the comfort of the bathroom, clutching the edge of the sink and letting out a shaky breath.

You did it.

You let him have it in front of Minghao, his girlfriend, and your friends.

It felt good as hell. 

It was long overdue, but the feeling of freedom in your skin felt too good to ignore. 

You take a moment to assess if there was any damage to your makeup. Thankfully, nothing looked out of place once you spent a few moments admiring your features. 

It felt like your mind was finally catching up to your body now that you were alone.

First, you said that you were in love with Minghao and you truly meant it. Defending him was so natural to you that it felt like you’d done it for ages.

Second, Joshua knew the original setup was fake. It didn’t really matter now that you had actively gaslit him into oblivion, but you had clearly made up for a less than stellar performance when you first introduced Joshua to Minghao. 

Lastly, you still had to go back out there. Sure, you were tipsy, but you still had to perform for a bit longer. It weighed on you the longer you looked at yourself in the mirror.

You brought yourself back to reality with a shake of your head, you turn to open the door and are shocked to see Minghao’s face.

“Hao,” You breathe out. 

“I wanted to come check on you. You really went off back there,” He gave you a kind smile and a pat on the shoulder.

“I did. It felt good,” You let out a chuckle.

“Are you anxious? Do you wanna go back to the hotel?” His comforting tone makes you smile, but shockingly, you don't feel completely overwhelmed by your surroundings. 

“I’m fine, babe,” You lower your head slightly at the questions. Most times, you think you would’ve preferred going home after being so confrontational, but you wanted to have fun. You didn’t want to hide anymore.

He pulls you into a hug and mumbles into your ear. “I’m proud of you,” His words melt into you so easily, it makes you feel at ease. You spend a few more moments with your head against his shoulder, savoring the silence away from the commotion of the wedding party. It didn’t matter what anyone thought about the two of you, you were determined to enjoy yourself. 

You lift your head up and find his hand to intertwine with your own. He gives you a reassuring look before you make your way back through the corridors into the main ballroom. The party is far more lively than when you first left a few minutes ago, the DJ is playing some party song that was popular when you were younger.

The dance floor is noticeably fuller as well, the atmosphere makes you grateful that you decided to stick around for the rest of the reception. You briefly tried to look for the other guys, but Soonyoung was the only one that made himself known to you once you reentered the ballroom.

“There you are!” He exclaimed in relief at the sight of you. He was yelling above the music to catch your attention, even when both you and Minghao eventually got closer to him.

“That was really intense, huh?” He furrowed his brows, his face slightly concerned. 

“Yeah, but he deserved it,” You rolled your eyes and scoffed. If anything, you could’ve gone harder on him and expressed every single inch of your rage, but your composure was commendable considering the circumstances. 

“Definitely, you should’ve seen how pale he was after you left,” Soonyoung shook his head in disbelief at the thought of it.

“He was definitely shitting himself, I didn’t know you could be that lethal,” Minghao pinched your arm and you smirked. It made you happy that your goal was accomplished, it made the trouble of making a scene worth it knowing how much it affected him. 

“I’m only lethal when I need to be,” You clarify with a chuckle, averting your gaze toward the rest of the dancefloor, “and we should go dance. Enough Joshua talk for now,” You whined into Minghao’s shoulder.

“Okay, okay, we can go,” Minghao kissed the back of your hand and gave a sympathetic look to Soonyoung. 

“Don’t go too crazy,” Soonyoung winked and walked away, working himself back into the hustle and bustle of the party. You lead Minghao into a free space on the dance floor, immediately feeling the vibe of the dance track in your body. You weren’t a spectacular dancer by any means, but you figured you didn’t look too awkward compared to everyone else around you.

Minghao naturally snakes his hands around your hips and you don’t resist his touch, it only elevates your mood. He falls into a natural rhythm with you, falling away to make you laugh with his dance moves before pulling you in again. When one song gets particularly heated, he pulls you against his chest and lets his hands wander further down to graze the curve of your ass. 

The lights are dim enough where people can’t see unless they’re being particularly nosy. 

He doesn’t linger for much longer before bringing his hands up to cup your face briefly before leaning in towards your ear.

“I wanna fuck you so badly,” He hums into your ear. You feel a blush creeping up your neck, you didn’t expect him to be so forward about it. He had never expressed desperation like this before, it almost made you lose it right then and there.

“You’ll have me soon enough, babe,” You respond as evenly as you could with the mounting tension between you. He doesn’t seem satisfied, his energy becoming a bit bratty in your hold. 

“One more hour, baby, can you make it until then?” You tease. He averts his glance from you and sighs deeply.

“Yes, of course I can,” He scoffed. His behavior only made you laugh, you had no idea how you’d managed to pull this reaction out of him. 

You held to your word, sticking around the party for exactly one more hour, but he wasn’t exactly concealing his reaction. As you started to make your final goodbyes around the party, his eagerness started to make its way to the surface. 

When you exchanged goodbyes with Seokmin, Soonyoung, and Chan, his grip got a bit tighter on your arm. 

You notice the way his hands wander across your lower back. He’s still cordial with the guys, of course, but every time you lock eyes with him you feel butterflies in your stomach.

Surprisingly, you even got to meet Mingyu and his wife for a moment right before you left.

Yet, Minghao is still lingering on you as if Joshua is right around the corner. When you feel him nestle his face in the crook of your neck to leave a prolonged kiss against your skin, you assume he’s nearby. 

The tension keeps itself incredibly high at every point until you’re in the car.

“Don’t look at me or else we’re not gonna make it out of the car,” He shifts the car into drive and your skin suddenly feels like it’s on fire.

—

“Fuck fuck fuck,” All other words are lost by the feeling of Minghao’s tongue on your cunt.

He didn’t even undress you or anything, he simply instructed you to lay back against the bed and let him take over which you could never be mad at.

He doesn’t let up at all, leaving you slightly torn at the contact. You’re enjoying yourself without a doubt, but the structured form of the dress starts to show its discomfort after a few moments.

“Minghao,” You breathe out. 

“Hm?”

“I’m still in the dress,” You stare at him in confusion.

“Is that okay?”

“I just want to get out of it, my boobs hurt,” It comes out more like a whine than a statement, but the point still stands.

“I promise I’ll undress you soon, okay? I just want to enjoy the way my darling looks wearing my masterpiece since I couldn’t do that in public,” He gently rubs the black fabric that adorns your legs. It gets you to soften up a bit.

“I look that gorgeous?” You ask quietly. You didn’t realize it had that much of an effect on him, but you’d probably be freaking out if you were in his position. He lets out a soft laugh and crawls up to your mouth, a wandering hand finds its way to your cheek. 

“Baby, you look incredible. You don’t know how many times I wanted to tear it apart tonight just to taste you,” He whispers against your mouth. “But it’s a gift,” He leaves a kiss on your jaw. “And I want you to remember how well I’m about to fuck you in it,” He moves back to your mouth and your moan gets trapped in a kiss.

His words make your cheeks flush with warmth. He sits up slightly to pull your gloves off one by one. “Okay, hands above your head,” He instructs you gently.

You follow his orders with curious eyes. He proceeds to use the gloves to tie your wrists together, the increasing tightness against your skin makes your heart pound in anticipation.

“Is it too tight?”

“No, I’m fine,” You admit. You’ve never had your hands restrained before, but you trust him to not hurt you. 

He lets you adjust to the new feeling for a moment before disappearing under the fabric of your skirt and resume his previous movements, but it’s not long before he hikes your skirt up with forceful hands.

“Shit,” You whimper.

He replaces his tongue with two of his fingers, the sudden pressure forces out a moan that almost makes you ashamed.

“Gonna work you open just how you like it, ok?” His eyes are noticeably darker when they meet yours, the lust seems to overtake him completely. You get lost in the feeling of his fingers repeatedly hitting that spongy spot, your walls keep clenching around him out of habit. He’s just too good at it, his slender fingers always have you seeing stars pretty quickly.

His speed increases and your arms fall slightly. He’s getting noises out of you that you’ve never heard before, the cries of his name are all you can register in your brain beside the pounding in your ears.

“My pretty little brat, always so needy for me huh?” The resurgence of the nickname makes the coil in your stomach tighten even more, you can barely hold yourself together. 

You want to say something, anything on your mind, but you’re simply reduced to babbling. 

“Come on, tell me how much you wanted me to touch you,” His low voice has a complete hold on you at the moment. He wants to work you up as much as possible before you break, and you could only force yourself to submit.

“So badly, please, I thought about you all night,” You squeeze your eyes shut to hold yourself together, his fingers haven’t slowed their pace yet.

“Look at me,” His voice is so gentle, but the moment you meet his eyes, you know that you need to cum.

“You wanna cum?”

“Yes, please, I’ve been good tonight,” You beg him for mercy knowing you’re at the point of no return.

“You’re close, aren’t you, baby?” He smirks at the mess in front of him, how desperate you are as your legs start to shake from the pressure. You can only nod at this point. 

“Holding on for me like a good girl?” He curls his fingers tighter and it rips a scream from your throat.

“Yes!” Your reply comes out just as loudly.

“Then you can cum,” His instructions send you over the edge, you feel yourself coat his fingers repeatedly and you can barely keep your eyes open.

You take a few heaving breaths and you feel his lips against your thigh.

“You did so well,” He offers praise in between kisses, his mouth against your skin helps ground you again.

“Are you good for some more?” He’s up to untie your restraints before you can think about it, and you revel in the feeling of your wrists being untied.

“Yeah, I’m good,” You nod. He tosses your gloves to the floor before moving to straddle you.

You can feel his erection against you and your breath hitches. He captures your lips in a kiss before you can call him out on it, you can taste traces of your cum against his lips. He moans against your neck and you wish you could hold him there for the rest of the night.

“Want you to cum in me so badly,” You whisper.

“I’m on it, angel,” He leaves one last kiss against your lips before he stands up.

“Wait,” You rush to sit up, adjusting your position on the bed a bit too quickly.

“What?”

“Let me help you get undressed,” You soften your voice, placing your hands on his hips.

He grins at your touch and guides your fingers to his zipper. You take the hint and unbuckle his belt, throwing it to the side before unzipping his pants. He strips out of his pants and you already have your hands tugging on his boxers.

You force them down to reveal his very irritated cock. He’s clearly been holding his restraint for far too long, so you don’t think too hard before you stroke him gently.

His knees almost buckle from the contact, and he forces your hand away.

“Shit, don’t make me cum, I’m not supposed to cum on you, right?” He asks with a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

“No,” You shake your head with an unassuming smile.

“Exactly, I can’t ruin this beautiful dress, now can I?” He straddles you once again, helping you gather your skirt up as far as it’ll go before it hits the bodice.

He lines himself up at your entrance and you’re already bracing yourself for the intensity of it all. 

The initial push isn’t as bad as you thought, but it still makes you groan as you clutch onto his arm. He pushes through until he’s bottomed out, but you both sigh audibly the moment it stops. 

You’re just so full that it’s hard to focus on anything else, so much so that he notices.

“Baby?”

“Yeah,” You force your eyes open to look at him.

“Are you ok?”

“Yes, it’s just you,” You place emphasis on the last word and he’s lowering his head in surprise.

“I’m gonna move now,” He confirms his plan and you nod.

His strokes are incredibly slow at first, you’re sure that you’ll cum if he adjusts himself any further. He soon finds his rhythm though, you notice how intently he’s watching you when you look at his face again. 

He’s obsessed with you, the way your face scrunches up in pleasure, and how your moans sound heavenly in response to him.

“I love you so much,” The words sound blurred with pleasure as he tries to fight the groans escaping from his mouth. You’re not faring much better, he manages to render you speechless as the sound of his skin hitting yours echoes throughout the hotel room.

“I love you,” You breathe out, your arms draped around his neck and you pull him closer until he’s nearly laying on your chest.

“Is this what you want, baby? Do you want me to cover every inch of you like this?” His voice is gravelly in your ear, begging you to give in to him.

“Yes, fuck, stay low like this please,” You pull yourself onto his mouth and lose yourself to him. He moves his head to the crook of your neck to help him gain some control, he’s able to cage you in slightly to hit you even deeper than before.

You can only grasp his hair and whine through it all. Your nerves are ready to let go at any moment, but you’re trying to savor how close he is to you. His cologne, the feeling of his skin on yours, his voice, your brain can only process pieces of him.

“Minghao, fuck,” You can’t even begin to form a coherent sentence, just mumbling his name over and over again. 

“Gonna cum?”

“Yes, yes yes,” He picks up the pace slightly to accommodate you and lets your orgasm hit full force, his cum fills you up so well that you can barely breathe. You clutch him even tighter than before and he fucks you through the orgasm, mumbling sweet nothings in your ear to calm you down.

“You’re always so good for me,” He whispers against your skin. He takes a moment to admire you despite your heavy panting.

His orgasm hits soon after and you feel him still around you, inhaling a sharp breath beside you.

You don’t separate for a long while, you just bring him back down to earth with soft touches. He’s always taking care of you, so you figure it’s time to do the same for him.

“Ready to get up, baby?” You rub his shoulder with encouragement.

“Not really,” His laugh vibrates against your chest. He was very cute, but you knew you had to convince him because it was getting a bit too hot in this position.

“Well, you have to take me out of the dress since you put me in it,” You try to sway him. “And it’s gonna feel so good to be in our pajamas, right?”

“Mhm,” He agrees.

“So let’s get up before I lose feeling in my legs,” You joke with him, but you’re rapidly feeling more and more tethered to the bed. 

“Shit, I’m sorry,” He pulls out of you swiftly and falls to the other pillow beside you. You finally feel like you can breathe once you sit up. 

You take a moment to remove your jewelry and place it on the nightstand before turning back to him. You’re sure that he’s been looking at you the whole time by the way he grins at your attention.

“Hi,” You turn your head over your shoulder, his eye contact makes you shy.

“Hi, love.”

“Can you unzip me? Pretty please?” You raise your voice slightly, pursing your lips to make him smile.

“Yes, sorry I kept you waiting,” It succeeds when he grins at you, he finally scoots toward you and pulls down the zipper, which allows you to slip out of the dress. 

“Thank god,” You sigh a bit too loud. You have to steady your nerves before standing up, but you’re still a bit wobbly when you’re stumbling around the room looking for a shirt.

“Felt that good?”

“Feel like my boobs were held hostage all night,” He looks slightly worried and you have to backtrack slightly, “which was not your fault, it’s just naturally a bit uncomfortable,” You slip an oversized shirt over his head, one that you stole from the back of his t-shirt drawer. 

“Okay,” He still watches you hesitantly. “Wait, that’s my shirt,” He points at you in fake shock.

“Yeah, I’ve stolen quite a few of your shirts. I’m shocked you haven’t noticed yet,” You sift through your bag to find clean underwear and slip them on with your back turned to him.

“I have noticed,” You hear him get off the bed to find clothes, “and I don’t care, you look pretty in them.” You realize he’s fully dressed when he hugs you from behind and kisses you on the cheek. 

You hum in affirmation, closing your eyes and you naturally start to rock back and forth in his arms. You feel him kiss the top of your head and you revel in the moment, the silence that always speaks volumes between you.

“Hey,” You speak up.

“Yeah?”

“I love you,” You’re getting used to saying it out loud more often, you force yourself to fight past the nerves of expressing it to him more often now.

“I love you too,” He responds immediately, it makes your heart sing. 

It feels like a new chapter has unofficially begun, one where you have to address the future standing in front of you. How do you not let yourself get lost in this relationship? 

How do you love when you’ve never been in a healthy relationship before?

It’s something that lingers when you fall asleep curled up next to him, trying to quiet the fears creeping up in your mind.

—

The next morning moves far more slowly than the day before. You can’t help but hold onto him a bit longer in bed, your fingertips just want to feel the warmth of his skin, your mind feels at ease when you feel his heartbeat against your ear. 

By the way he tightens his arms around you, you figure he’s not itching to let you go either. The beach day you’ve both thought about seems like it’s drifting away with each passing moment. 

“Baby?” He rasps.

“Hmm?”

“You’re awake.”

“So are you,” You sit up to get a better look at him. His hair is completely messy, and you watch him try to smooth it out but to no avail. 

“Do you still wanna go out today? We don’t have to,” His offer is definitely inviting, but you figure you should make the most of your trip before the inevitably long ride home. 

“No, we should. I wanna see you in that outfit you packed,” You giggle.

“You’ve just got ulterior motives, huh?”

“Maybe,” You bite your lip and concentrate on his eyes.

“That’s okay, I was thinking about what you’d wear too,” He admits with a shake of his head. You give him a peck on the lips and push on his chest lightly.

“Come on, let’s get going then,” You kiss him on the cheek before forcing yourself out of bed to get ready. You both fall into separate routines, only converging to eat breakfast and brush your teeth while getting yourselves together. 

Minghao does end up wearing the outfit he showed you back at his apartment, the baby blue set is slightly oversized on him but it works against his skin tone. You opt for a similar coverup layout, wearing a tropical print shirt and a pair of shorts to cover your bikini. 

The beach isn’t too far from the hotel, but the walk feels especially crisp with the late summer air on your skin. The day was breaking into early afternoon by the time you both left, it was bright enough that you both ended up needing your sunglasses. 

Just like the day before, you strolled arm in arm taking in the sights of the neighborhood. You were grateful that there wasn’t any internal pressure anymore now that the wedding was over, you were still trying to adjust to not being on defense the entire time.

As you approached the beach, it dawned on you that despite enjoying yourself last night, fighting with Joshua made you realize just how hard you were willing to fight for Minghao. It’s easy to say what you might do when you’ve spent a month ruminating on the moment, but the pressure made your anger hard to ignore.

Since it was the weekend, there were a moderate amount of people enjoying themselves along the beach. Couples, families, and friend groups were sunbathing, playing around, eating food, or just enjoying each other’s company.

Somehow, you were able to find a spot to lay down your old beach towel for the both of you to sit on top of. It was thankfully out of the way from the crowds, so you were able to observe people without too much trouble. 

You were able to sit in silence with each other for a few moments, absorbing the white noise of the people and the distant noise of the waves on the horizon.

“When does your lease end?” He asks you suddenly.

“January. Why?” 

“Do you still want to live there? You know, after everything?” His questions make you shrink in on yourself once you hear them.

You honestly hadn’t thought that far ahead. You figured that if you managed to avoid Joshua for this long, you could continue to make it happen. Yet, you couldn’t imagine how that could possibly work now knowing how badly you’d gone off on him.

“Shit,” You let out a shaky breath, concentrating on the ocean that sat at the edge of your sight.

“We don’t have to do anything,” He reminds you gently.

“No, you’re right. If I want it to be completely over, I need to move,” You affirm your decision. You need to be firm with your own boundaries, mostly for your own sake. 

“Okay.”

“How do you feel about moving though?” You posit the question and he’s already adjusting himself on the beach towel.

“I mean, aside from everything else, the apartment is getting kinda small for me. I just need more space in general,” He sighs at the thought.

“What’s top priority?” You humor him and he smiles for a moment before answering.

“An actual home office. I think not having enough space to get work done is bothering me,” His thought seems unfinished by the way he looks up at the sky, trying to conjure more ideas.

“But?”

“But I’m trying to keep my work and home life more separate, especially now that we’re together,” He says it without thinking and your eyes widen.

“We’re together, huh?” You joke.

It seems to hit him immediately. You’ve both said I love you, so it just seemed natural that you were together already.

Yet, he hasn’t asked. You haven’t asked.

“Y/N,” He reaches out for your hands and you gladly let him hold them. 

“Yes?”

“Will you be my girlfriend?” He’s grinning so hard just waiting for your reply, you don’t think that you could ever tell him no. 

“Of course, Minghao,” You cup his face and pull him into a kiss. 

He’s noticeably shyer than before once he pulls away from you, his cheeks are slightly pink. “Anyway, I just want it to be our space now that we’re together. I want it to feel like home.” 

You can only imagine what an apartment mixed with both of your tastes looks like, but it still makes your heart feel warm. 

“That makes sense, so I assume your lease ends around the same time?” You lean back onto your palms, letting out a quiet sigh. 

“Yeah, mid January. It seems so far away just thinking about it,” His words make you think of how brutal winter is back in the city. You hate having to trudge home in the snow, boots covered in sludge all while trying to stay warm with too many layers on.

You push it to the back of your head once you look up at the bright blue sky, drawing you back into the feeling of summer. 

Silence falls over the two of you again. The idea of planning a future with him feels foreign, how do you begin to process all of that?

“Scary,” You shiver from the breeze passing by.

“It is scary,” He doesn’t comfort you this time, instead confirming the fear of it. 

“Honestly, Minghao, I’m just scared of us,” You cross your arms and let out a deep sigh, focusing your eyes on the ocean ahead. 

“How so? I want to know what you’re feeling,” His voice is so inviting, you know that you can’t hold back from him anymore.

“I’m scared that I’m gonna fuck this up. I’ve never been in this kind of relationship and it scares me so much,” You clear your throat to avoid the tears threatening to spill out. “I don’t want to sabotage this because I’ve never felt this safe with someone before.” 

“Baby,” He places a hand on your arms, gently trying to pry them apart. You let him hold your hand, but you still can’t look at him. You’re not sure why it’s so embarrassing to be so vulnerable with him.

“I’m scared too. We’re still learning about each other’s boundaries, and it’s honestly still hard for me to express things to you. We’re gonna make mistakes with each other, but that’s natural. But, I know you’re bringing this up because you want us to start on a good foundation, right?”

“Yeah,” Your voice is still shaky, but you nod in agreement.

“Exactly, and that’s a great first step. I know it’s hard for both of us to open up, but I’m happy you told me,” He validates your fears and you finally look him in the eyes.

“Thank you, I just didn’t want to hide that when we’re about to truly start the relationship. I trust that we can call each other out on things if we cross a line, you know?” You still tried your best to hold eye contact, but you can’t help but focus on anything but his face.

“Yeah, absolutely. We’ll get there,” He finds your hand and squeezes it gently. The burden wasn’t completely resolved, but it was shared and that felt much better than keeping it all bottled up.

You found yourself staring out at the sea once again, eyes sometimes wandering to the people that would pass by. The silence wasn’t heavy this time, but rather full of mutual understanding. You soon felt a pull to explore the beach.

“Do you want to go down to the water?” You speak up.

“Yeah,” His face brightens and he helps you up off of the towel before standing up on his own.

You strip down out of your cover up, fold your clothes and place them in a neat pile near your shoes. “Race you there!” You yell suddenly and break out into a sprint.

“That’s not fair, you got a head start!” He’s close behind you, you can hear him catching up to you but you’re still running your hardest. 

He passes you soon enough, sticking his tongue out at you before breezing past you. You’re out of breath by the time you reach the waves, but he’s waiting for you with open arms.

His embrace is as welcoming as always, and you spend a few moments catching your breath against his shoulder. He instinctively holds you a bit tighter and it feels heavenly. The moment you’re alright, you both wade deeper into the ocean, splashing each other until you’re both laughing uncontrollably.

You don’t realize how long you’ve been out in the water until you feel the heat of the sun against your skin more harshly than before.

You both retreat and dry off in your designated corner before covering up again. The walk back to the car is quiet, but you’re learning to embrace those moments with him a bit more. 

After grabbing lunch at a nearby restaurant, the road-trip begins once again, with you in the passenger seat while he drives. It’s more or less the same as when you first drove up, he entertains you with conversation until you fall asleep, only to wake up dazed hours later.

This time, you manage to fall asleep for the rest of the ride, only waking up when Minghao tells you that you’re home. 

You mutually decide to spend the night apart to properly prepare for the first day of your new jobs the next day, plus you need a bit of space to recharge from the trip.

You wouldn’t be apart for much longer though, you mutually agreed that Minghao would carpool you both to and from work each day unless he had to head in early or stay late at his office. However, he reassured you that he’d always let you know about those kinds of things early on. 

It was a reliable routine that you could look forward to, you thought to yourself as you unpacked your clothes from your compact suitcase. 

Once you text Soonyoung and Chan to let them know that you made it back safely, you delve into your nightly routine. It’s odd not to have him around, you feel his absence at every point of the night. 

You’re able to fall asleep that night, but not as easily, silently hoping that he misses you all the same.

—

“Minghao? Are you okay?”

“All good,” He nods at you, staring at your shared workplace the next morning. The building seems a bit more intimidating when you’re about to begin the biggest job you’ve both had thus far.

“You seem nervous, love,” You see past his neutral expression and catch the slight tension in his brows.

“I am, I thought I’d be okay since I’ve already started the new work, but it’s different now. Everyone’s looking to me for all of the answers,” His brows furrow while he rants, but you notice the tension in his shoulders as he clutches his bag tighter in his fist.

“Hey, look at me,” You force him to meet your gaze, turning him around gently. “It’s okay to be nervous. You are perfectly capable and if you have any concerns, you’ve got people there to help right?”

He nods silently and your eyebrows perk up in support. “That’s great! You won’t be alone. I’ll be there in spirit, okay? Take this,” You give him a small frog statue that you’d been holding in your coat pocket and he smiles so wide that he breaks into laughter.

“This is cute, where’d you get it?” He admires the glazed figurine with care.

“I went to the hotel gift shop. I know you like frogs, I saw something on your desk,” You took a moment to look at the few items on his desk while you were there for the dress fitting and noticed a small frog plush, so you figured it needed a friend. 

“This is really sweet, babe, thank you. I feel a bit better about it,” His smile doesn’t go away as he tucks the figurine into his pocket.

“You’re welcome, I’m happy that I could help a little bit,” You kiss him briefly and he gives a kiss on your cheek in return.

“I’m really glad that I have you to rely on,” His words are so sincere that they make you blush. You’re always worried that you’re not doing enough for him, but you remember your conversation on the beach and realize that you’re both trying to be better. 

“I’m just glad that I can be there for you,” You offer the sentiment and it’s clear that it means a lot to him by the way he squeezes your hand and kisses it sweetly. The small gesture is enough to carry you through the rest of your day. 

The first full day is quite long, and you’re still overwhelmed by the full scope of your department, but you’re not meant to understand everything in the first day.

Your coworkers seem nice, your supervisors are intimidating, but you’re actually able to do some design work the first day. It’s far more than you expected out of the job, but it feels meant to be once you think back on your day.

You tried your best, and that’s all you can do. 

The best part of the day is watching him come outside to meet you, noticeably more tired than the morning, but he’s clearly excited to see you. He doesn’t say a word, silently enveloping you in a hug while he collects his thoughts. 

“Good first day?” You ask quietly.

“Yeah,” He mumbles into your ear, he pulls away soon enough and grabs your hand, leading you both to his car.

The drive home is far more talkative than normal, both of you swapping first day stories that gain laughs and surprised expressions from each other while looking back on the day.

The routine starts to fall into place naturally in your mind, you’re excited to get used to hearing him hum along to music in the car and asking you what he should make for dinner.

You’re worthy of this, worthy of being in a calm and healthy dynamic. It may seem boring to other people, but the comfort of knowing your partner trusts you and understanding that they genuinely enjoy your company is far more valuable than you originally thought.

—

January rolls around and apartment hunting is moderately stressful, but you end up with a two bedroom apartment that both of you like. You both agree to make a detailed spreadsheet with all your options, comparing all of them while nestled in bed together. Your lease ends before his, so his apartment is crowded for a few weeks before you’re both able to move out. 

Furniture shopping is far more stressful, and there’s plenty of small arguments about your styles, but the end product is worth it. This apartment is far more cozy than your last living situation, far more inviting than before and you’re not scared to be yourself around him. 

You’re not afraid to be at home knowing you’re both ready and willing to support each other.

The first year of your relationship is naturally filled with ups and downs, but the downs are especially frightening.

Complications with your medicine put you in the hospital and Minghao has never been more terrified, he isn’t able to think of anything else except if his love is safe and sound. 

The incident pulls you both back from work, but you’re able to make it through. Knowing how easily he could’ve lost you, Minghao doesn’t want to waste any more time.

You think nothing of him asking about if you prefer gold or silver or when you find him exploring your jewelry box, he just explains that he left one of his own rings in there. 

He was just eager, eager to make you a more permanent fixture in his life.

--

Minghao is incredibly nervous, all things considered. 

Your one year anniversary is today and he wants, no he needs, to propose to you tonight. The ring has been burning a hole in the back of one of his drawers for months now. He’s not sure how he’s managed to keep you off his tracks, but he’s grateful that you’ve had a bit more work to deal with lately. 

He had managed to pull a few strings and was able to rent out your favorite botanical garden in the city for the evening, it was something he’s wanted to do for you ever since you mentioned your affinity for gardens on the road trip last summer.

You were under the impression that you were both invited for a self guided tour, but you were blissfully unaware of his ulterior motives. 

If his timing was right, he’d be able to propose right as the sun was setting against the glass panes of the expansive greenhouse towards the end of the tour.

The tour had gone according to plan, you were enthralled by seeing the various kinds of plants and flowers that were displayed through each of the rooms. You were both on the way to the last room when you gushed over the experience once again.

“Everything is just so beautiful, I can’t believe you did this for us,” You lean your head against his shoulder.

“Of course, I figured it would be nice to not do a traditional dinner, but something we’ll remember,” He hints unknowingly and kisses you on the forehead. 

It’s not too far ahead now, and the sounds of your heels clicking along the tiles make him exponentially more nervous.

You reach the double doors and you stop walking.

You look down to see a path of roses leading into the greenhouse. Your eyes widen slightly and you turn to offer Minghao a hesitant smile. “What’s all this?” You ask quietly.

“Just a little something for you,” Minghao responds calmly, but he can barely keep it together internally. It’s hitting him all at once you walk in, your eyes immediately hitting the centerpiece in the middle of the room. 

“Oh my god,” Your eyes nearly pop out of their head at the sight of the words staring directly at you on a big sign.

Marry me.

“What are you doing,” Your voice is slightly shaky already, but he continues to walk you towards the setup.

“Hao, seriously,” You ask him again, but he simply holds your hand and starts to speak from the heart.

“This has been such an amazing year with you, and I honestly don’t think my life has ever felt so joyful before. You’re so supportive of me that as a result, I’ve been able to be much kinder to myself,” He stops to wipe his eyes. He lets out a shaky breath before continuing again. 

“Every day, I think about how I’ve been lucky enough to find someone who cares so deeply about me. I know this relationship didn’t start in the ideal way, but I would be your fake boyfriend 100 times over if it meant we could find each other again, if we could grow together. I want to take care of you for the rest of my life, if you’ll let me. So with that said,” He finally kneels and it breaks any of the resolve you might've had left in your body.

He opens the black velvet box to reveal a gold floral shaped diamond ring that knocks the wind out of you.

It’s so startlingly beautiful that you almost forget he hasn’t said the words yet. 

“Y/N, will you marry me?”

“Yes, what the fuck,” You sob at him and he’s beaming, you can barely see his smile through your tears. 

He instinctively grabs your hand to place the ring on your finger. It feels like your body is floating the moment he stands up to kiss you, your hands instinctively find the back of his neck and nestle into his hair.

“Glad I put on a shit ton of setting spray,” You whisper in his ear and pull away from him. He giggles and wipes the stray tears that are strewn across your cheeks.

“You still look beautiful, love,” He reassures you with a soft swipe against your cheek.

“You’re handsome too. I didn’t think you’d cry during the speech,” You push his shoulder lightly and he blushes.

“I basically blacked out, I practiced it so much,” He shakes his head at the thought of it all. 

“It was worth it, that was beautiful,” You pat his hair lovingly. 

“I have another surprise though,” He offers.

“Wait, what is it?”

“Well, the director of the gardens is a Semicolon fan, and I happened to be working as assistant creative director on her favorite collection. So, she’s letting us get married here for free,” He raises his eyebrows and looks at you with a playful glance. “Minghao,” You’re practically in tears again. You couldn’t be happier. 

“I told her this was your favorite place in the entire city, and she was quite happy to hear that,” He reaches to tuck a stray hair behind your ear and you melt into his touch.

“You’re so perfect, thank you baby,” You don’t let him get a word out before you’re kissing him much deeper this time, all the love and passion seems to come through immediately.

He reciprocated with the same level of commitment, holding you tenderly as you led him through the kiss.

“You’re welcome,” He mumbles into your ear.

It’s difficult to capture just how much has changed in a year. You’d like to think you’re much easier on yourself, now that you’re focused on what’s ahead of you instead of being so fixated on the past. It seems impractical that you were able to give yourself so easily to love, but you can’t deny how much it’s softened you.

When Minghao holds you in the aftermath of the proposal, you think you could stay there forever.

In that moment, you were simply grateful to be understood, grateful to be loved, and grateful to start a life with someone who saw the potential in you despite everything in the world that made you feel the opposite.

You can’t help but feel excited at the prospect of a life where there’s always love waiting for you when you least expect it.

[hiddenpie]

Healthy Relationship tingz🍒

My random thoughts on relationships, hope you enjoy lol

Plz be conscious that when you step into a relationship you are also stepping into your partner’s struggles as well as strengths. It is both partners responsibility to express what may hinder the manifestation of a good relationship BEFORE stepping into it. If not you may find yourself taking on burdens you did not once carry before the partnership. In my opinion considering your heart above all else is most important in a relationship (and in life in general lmao)

You may think you should stay with someone so that they “aren’t stressed out more” or you may say “they are a good person I don’t want to hurt them” but that is not a reason to stay with someone.. and statements like that in and of itself are signs of you taking on burdens that are not yours to bear… make sure these are things that are overall worth it for you personally…

It may sound selfish but being selfish is not bad, it is apart of life just as being selfless is.. if you have too much or too little of either one it can cause for a challenging life…it is your responsibility to invest your energy into things that give to you in balance with how much it takes.

Please really pay attention to potential risks before entering a relationship and entrusting your heart to another. THERE WILL ALWAYS BE SIGNS IF SOMEBODY WILL TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOUR HEART. Whether it is just a feeling or actions or BOTH.

I always make statements when going into a relationship like “just so you know before I start something with you I have xyz going on, please let me know anything you have going on that maybe cause stress to the connection” or something along those lines.

Obviously it’s a journey getting to know and understand each other and sharing certain struggles but doing things like this prior to the relationship in my opinion is so important and builds trust and can prevent potential resentment later down the line

Statements like “WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME BEFORE WE STARTED DATING OR BEFORE I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU”

Lmao maybe you share with them and they still decide to be with you anyways but that was their choice completely, you didn’t hide your hand.

Sending you guys happiness, balance and peace in your partnerships!!!!

[arkos404]

lawful joke au: lil bug

the obligatory 'lawful joke, a personality swap, by @chaosaliien', these have been sitting on my drafts for like 4 months so i figured its abt time to share them, i present to you all the lil bug

a silly scenario/arc where scrabby gets hurt and somehow one of his lil bug parts end up in the timecube to be found by prism, who, having no idea that its a part of/is scrabby, adopts it to be his pet bug. he names it scarab as an inside joke/lack of creativity lol

the lil bug pretty much works on og scrabby's instincts/subcouncious/inner thoughts, at the start lil bug tried to leave and go back to scrabby, but after being showered in prism's attention it quickly changed course and decided to stay

prism had been developing an interest in bugs, at this point he was crushing on scrabby but justified his interest as a cientific curiosity, so he was happy when the opportunity to have a bug himself was presented to him.

scrabby has mixed feelings on the situation, lil bug is still a part of him so he can hear what the lil bug does and feel phantom touches, and prism has a lot of free time to now spend with his pet bug and is a bug person apparently because he never stops cooing at it.

scrabby enjoys the attention but has no idea how to cope with the sheer amount of attention prism is freely giving him/lil bug especially when normally he would never say those things to him

sometimes he's talking with someone and will pause mid sentence and blush furiously because of something prism just said, leaving the other person very confused. he visits the timecube less and less because he's too flustered to look prism in the eyes, he starts to lose sleep, not being able to clear his head with prism's voice constantly on his ear.

he tries to go to the timecube himself to get the lil bug but its insistent on staying with prism and he doesnt want to explain the situation to prism because itll be embarassing for both of them. he resents the lil bug both because of jealousy ("it shouldve been me!" <- its literally a part of him lmao) and because he's been put in this weird situation by it chosing to stay with prism instead of coming back to him

prism's cooing is usually the regular pet owner babytalk, but it often comes out sounding weird, especially for scrabby who already has a crush on prism and has nothing but phantom touches and hearing to give him context abt whats happening

these occurances are the biggest reason for scrabby's lack of sleep, when he's working or just focusing on something else he can tune it out, but when he's trying to sleep and has no distractions it all comes flooding in

lil bug and jake/nightm hate each other, mostly because me and jules thought itd be funny if the two characters who had a lot in common, both being little shits who were the personification of their counterpart's inner subcouncious and constantly fucked them over, absolutely despised each other

nightm tries to get rid of lil bug many times (all of them foiled by lil bug or prism) and to out it to prism as the little menace it is, though it never works, for prism lil bug is a little angel who can do no wrong (in prism's defense lil bug is only a menace to jake and scrabby lmao)

the arc would end with prism realizing that scrabby was visiting the timecube less and getting restless/on edge whenever he dropped by and he thought it was some kind of territory thing between bugs. not wanting to risk scrabby to stop coming, he lets the lil bug go saying something about while he loves lil bug he's not prism's bug, and that that space is reserved for someone else.

prism is bummed for a while but the next day scrabby comes over and is back to his normal self and even more enlivened (he heard what prism said and was super giddy) so prism knows it was worth it

--

this idea started w me and jules talking about prism adopting a pet bug (inspired by @/xanderindisguis's business bug au) and scrabby, jealous of the attention this random bug was getting, got one of his little forms to infiltrate prism's terrarium. but it evolved to what we have now, here's some doodles of the outdated concept

also tagging @garbashedump bc she helped develop it

putting these under read more lol

[tfp-enthusiast]

Autobots w gn cybertonian reader where they go, "Ah shit, it's my ex." In the middle of the battlefield and on cue fucking Megatron appears

How do they know? They can sense the presence of that warlord for miles away from how much his vibe reeks of dark energon, tyranny, and a fucking mess in general

They weren't his lover for nothing. Despite being exes, reader still has that Megatron radar attached to themselves

Bot's X Bot!GN!Reader who is the ex of Megatron

[lmao, this made me laugh out loud while imagining it]

[Btw. I just threw (almost) everyone in one scenario and then this came out]

[For info, I saw the message that said that it should be scenarios a little later but I hope it still works out okay]

[And don't worry anon, I'm forgetful too]

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

You where on a mission with Wheeljack, Bulkhead, Ultra Magnus and Smokescreen because you got an signal of a large energon source but expected there would be some Cons waiting there.

Those assumptions where, as expected, completely right and there where so many troops who transported the energon towards the entry of the cave so they could bring everything to the Nemesis when their groundbridge opened.

Normally Optimus doesn't take the chances with situations like this, an huge cave that has a lot of energon and vehicons that can result in a soldier getting heavy injured, but the last cycles where stressful and hard for everyone. You where running low on energon, like everyone, and somehow you managed to persuade the prime into sending some out to get at least some of the energon back to base.

It went pretty well, aside from a little bickering between Ultra Magnus and Wheeljack, and you and Smokescreen where told to get as much energon as possible while the others fought so you could leave as soon as possible.

But somehow the fight escalated and Smokescreen joined the fight while you still tried to save some energon cubes for everyone though after getting pulled back by Bulkhead you decided that it was not worth the risk and hoped that it would be enough for a little while.

Now all you had to do was beat the remaining vehicons and then you could get back to base so you could enjoy some energon without feeling bad about it thinking you stole rations from others.

You all expected that there would be coming backup for a mine of this size and prepared yourself that this could go on a little longer then usually but shortly after the third wave came you felt an unusual presence, not really a presence but it felt like something was coming towards your location, after a few nanokliks you recognized the feeling, it felt almost like an instinct to you, you prepared yourself mentally for what, or rather who, was coming.

You soon thought that it would be the best choice to tell the others about it but couldn't help but be afraid that they would find out that something was going on between the Megatron and you.

You realized that there weren't any troops incoming and knew now was the best moment to warn them. Though you couldn't stop the fear that nagged in the back of your processor.

'Frag it, I can regret it later'

"Guys, we should try and retreat, Megatron's coming!"

It seemed like only Wheeljack and Bulkhead heard you and you feared they didn't understand but seeing the way Bulkhead looked at you let you know they heard it.

"How are you so sure about that?"

You could nearly feel Megatron because of the dark energon and almost lost consciousness because the feeling felt so overwhelming which was wierd because you thought you would get used to it considering it was this way for centuries.

Soon enough you could see Megatron land, in a way that seemed a little like a show off to you, and you felt your spark stop when he looked at you in a way you knew from back where he wasn't a war criminal.

It seems like everything was too much for you because the last thing you remember was Megatron starting to talk with.. Ultra Magnus, you think? But then you collapsed to the ground. The damage you took, the fact that you where running on the absolute minimum of energon and being near Megatron was overwhelming and caused you to go into a more or less forced stasis.

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

You woke up in the medbay of the base and saw that only Ratchet, Optimus and Wheeljack where there.

Almost immediately Ratchet's helm turned to you when you opened your optics and reached for your helm out of instinct.

"Optimus, they woke up.."

Unlike Ratchet Optimus' movements where slower and more calm, probably because he knew that once, at the start of the war, you where in a relationship with Megatron, but Wheeljack stayed where he was and just looked at you in a confused/maybe even angry way, chances where high he and Bulkhead told everyone that you knew Megatron was coming before he was in line of sight.

"You passed out because of overheating and because your injuries where too much for you while on that less energon."

Ratchet was acting like always, stern and caring in a way only he was able to, which made you think that maybe everything was forgotten in the heat of the moment back there.

But as soon as you heard Wheeljack walk towards you you knew that those thoughts where wrong.

To your luck you could see Smokescreen and Bulkhead join to hear what was going on.

"So uh.. Care to explain how you knew that bucket head was coming?"

Your processor was a warzone itself after hearing that question and you hoped for a moment that you would once again drift into unconsciousness but you got saved by Optimus speaking up for you.

You just gave him a nod after he asked you for permission to explain it instead of you doing it so Ratchet could look you over while Optimus told the reason of you knowing that Megatron was approaching.

"WAIT A MOMENT- you did it with Megatron?!"

You almost passed out once again at Smokescreen's response to your backstory with Megatron but thankfully Ratchet gave him a glare which made him mutter a small 'sorry'.

You knew and saw that the others had a relatively hard time understanding that but you and Optimus already knew that, they didn't know what Megatron was like before the war, they only knew him as the bot he's become.

"Are you going to pass out every time you get near him? Cause that would be pretty uncomfortable when we're together on a mission."

You vented out of relief after hearing that sentence from Wheeljack, you knew he would've acted entirely different if he didn't like what he heard, and considering that none of the others said anything you assumed that it was more or less accepted.

"Give them time. When they have some time to think about it then they will probably understand your situation."

Nodding you agreed with Optimus and when you looked towards Ratchet you saw him smile for a nanoklik before telling you that you are stable enough to go recharge in your berth.

'Thank Primus that I have such a nice team'

[thana-topsy]

Ok I gotta come out and say it. I envy you. Like, to a painful extent. The amount of people you get interested in your characters, how you're incredibly skilled in both visual art AND writing, how readers your fics have. I absolutely adore your work, but seeing it fills me with so much envy it's honestly ridiculous.

Did you deal with similar feelings towards other creators when you started writing fic by any chance? If so, how did you deal with those feelings? I feel genuinely stuck feeling worthless about my fics. I'm not as verbose with my language despite over 10 years of writing under my belt and it seems as though my plots don't interest people as much either. So I feel like there's just nothing of worth about any of my work.

I know that this is a lot to dump on you, but I felt like I would burst keeping this all in. Much love to you and I hope you have a wonderful New Year!

Hey there my friend, I've been sitting with this all day trying to decide how I want to answer you. I genuinely appreciate your honesty, because I know this is a familiar feeling for a lot of people, myself included.

I remember when I first rejoined Tumblr in early 2019, desperately trying to find anyone to talk to about TES, I would look at all these blogs gettings asks about their OCs like they were little celebrities and feel envy and longing. Now, when these feelings start to bubble up, I force myself to take a break from sharing my work, be it art or writing, if only to remind myself why I'm creating it and who I'm creating it for: myself. I know it sounds cheesy, and I probably sound like a broken record, but genuinely I just do this because it's bursting out of my skull. But I won't lie and say the engagement and the support doesn't have a big impact on my motivation. I love sharing with people and getting an enthusiastic response.

I think something people might not realize, or maybe they just forget, is that I used to write a lot of smut. Like...a lot of smut. (I still do). Hahaha and it doesn't get a lot of comments or engagement, but it does draw a lot of eyes. Once my smut stories started taking on heavier plotlines, a comment I'd get a lot was "came for the porn, stayed for the plot." And I wasn't writing smut because I thought it would get me an audience, I was just horny LMAO. But it encouraged me to branch out and experiment with the types of stories I was telling.

Anyways, art is another big part of it, yes. But that also didn't get a lot of engagement in the beginning, and my skills were rusty as hell. I was getting maybe 15 notes on here, 30 likes on instagram. But that didn't really matter to me, I was just insane with inspiration. I'd reach out to people and ask to do art trades, got ghosted a lot, made some good friends, (some people who are still my good friends to this day!). But it took a lot of risks, and I made a lot of accidental enemies and learned a lot of hard lessons. But having visuals to go with the stories I'm writing is like advertisement in its own way. I'm just lucky enough to hyperfixate on this shit like it's my lifeblood. I've always obsessively drawn my favorite characters, ever since I was a wee bab. Long before social media was a factor or the words "content creator" even existed.

And I think that's what it all comes back to. Above all else, do what you do with unbridled joy. If someone else finds joy alongside you, all the better! Even if it's just one person. Take risks, make friends, make enemies, draw that blorbo unapologetically and with wild abandon. Love what you create, even when it's bad. Even when it makes you cringe years later, don't delete it. Even when people try to find every reason to hate what you do and who you are. Don't stop.

Every act of creation is bringing something into the world that didn't exist before you made it. And that alone gives it worth.

Happy New Year!

[empressofthewind]

Hi! I've been rereading some of your meta posts and I really enjoy hearing your opinions. I don't know if you've talked about this before, but why do you think Near said "If you can't win the game, if you can't solve the puzzle, you are just a loser"? Does he really think L is a loser? (I don't remember if that line is in the manga, but it's in the anime). And thanks again for your awesome posts :)

Hi Ray!!! Thank you so much, I'm really glad you enjoy them 🥰💕 this line IS also in the manga, and I don't think I've talked about it before but it's definitely something I've thought about! If you take Volume 13 as canon, then there is technically an answer to this, which you can see on the top line here (I've also typed it out in the image description if the text is too small/grainy to read):

This WOULD imply that Near actually thinks L is a loser, so take that as you will lmao. Personally I'm inclined to disagree with this, for two reasons. Firstly, he doesn't seem to extend this way of thinking to Mello when he dies for the same case (or anyone else, for that matter). If he thought dying at Kira's hands made L a loser, then he should theoretically apply that same principle to everyone who died for the case. Secondly, he does seem to have some level of respect for L, although I waver on exactly how much that is - but if he really thought L was just a loser, I don't think he'd wear a mask of his face, keep L's puppet on his finger during his final speech and rule out a potential plan on the basis that "it would be an insult to L".

However, I've included this entire excerpt from his profile because I think there are some other lines here that actually give a few extra clues about what's going on with this line. It's notable to me that three of the four quotes on there have very similar phrasing; "you're nothing but a loser", "you just have to say sorry", "you are just a murderer". He has this way of talking about things that reads as almost a bit dismissive? I don't get the impression that he is actually as impassive as he comes across, especially because the way he talks about Mello is always SO passionate and emotive, but rather I think this is just his way of rationalising things. He breaks them up into smaller parts or metaphors in his head, which makes it easier for him to think about them logically. He weighs up the risks and benefits of everything he does, he's very particular about deciding whether something or someone is worth his time, and I get the impression that he has a fairly symbolic way of thinking which helps him work through real-world dilemmas and keeps him from becoming overwhelmed.

So with that in mind, my interpretation of this line is that he compares the Kira case to a game or a puzzle, and thus instead of having to grapple with L's death, he thinks of it like losing a game. It's similar to him making puppets to represent people in his real life, knocking over his dice tower while most of the SPK members are collapsing around him and tipping out his puzzle while he delivers the line in question. This is also reflected throughout the rest of the series in the way he talks about the Kira case. He very consistently refers to the investigation as a game and thinks of it in terms of winning or losing, which I think makes it easier for him to reconcile with the consequences. The moment he learns about L's death, he knows there's an incredibly high chance that he will have to take over the case himself, and at this point, he's 13 with presumably zero real-world detective experience; only whatever training Wammy's House put them through. So if the world's best detective - who's been in that line of work for 15 years and has solved every case he's ever taken on - just died trying to solve this one, it has very scary implications for Near and Mello. Thus, while I honestly don't think he was as cut up about L's death as Mello and Roger were, it certainly wasn't good news, and thinking of it this way makes it easier for him to process.

I hope this makes sense!! Thanks again for the compliments, these are always my favourite posts to make :-)

[all-about-the-tea-parties]

A goddess of mystery and the unknown marrying a god of rage and death is an apocalypse right?

Death gods always represent transformation from one age to the next, one stage to another. All arcs in peoples lives are “deaths”. Death gods offer the opportunity to finish something and place you at the precipice of a beginning.

Anger pushes action. Rage represents conflict and choices and assertiveness.

Beginnings and endings are frightening. They leave people in a place of uncertainty. It holds risk.

Nightmares are the aggressive manifestation of anxiety and fear, which comes from doubts. Rage is not a weapon of certainty, but a weapon of indignation. The emotional foundation of justice because wrath and rage are different. The action taken when being wronged. Nightmares are the wrongdoings done to you that you greatly fear.

Cassandra was married to a god that, in wedding her, represented the concept of “Armageddon” - the end of the world as we know it. In wedding her, she incorporated them into the Nightmare King. Instead of becoming a passive curse, Cassandra was a curse that spread and consumed. Cassandra’s rage is attached to the feeling of being wronged.

Most ppl hear apocalypse and think nightmare. But that’s simply the worst possible outcome of an end to established systems - it could also mean the beginning of something wonderful.

But that’s the point of Cassandra - we don’t know. We don’t know what happens after we make our choice. We can only hope to embrace what we don’t know and accept the strength of our own convictions.

A death god of rage and a doubt god of twilight creates a community of anarchists. People who are wise and assured and fierce.

Cassandra doesn’t personify doubt, but rules over it and all that it touches. Her spouse probably does not personify rage either, but rules over it and all that it touches.

I imagine that is a massive threat to established hierarchies. Such as royal elves.

Gorgug and Kristen are both learning to healthily express anger. Express it. Not negotiate with it, not reason around it, not suppress it. Feel and express it. They both try so hard to hear people out and be accountable for their behaviour and allow ppl to hurt them in the process. Because instead of accepting the unknown consequences of standing up for themselves, they choose to remain anxious with their passivity.

But Cassandra ISNT passive. She’s steadfast. She married a god of DEATH and RAGE.

Gorgug succeeded in the forest of death because he accepted his situation and chanted encouragement to his friends. Kristen succeeded in front of the nightmare king because she decided the risk of being wrong was worth it.

They may not have succeeded, but even failure had been accepted. All they could do was choose and keep going.

The world ends.

There’s nothing special about stability. Everything is fallible.

Cassandra offers comfort in that, a lack of sentiment for things that don’t work out, and I imagine her spouse offers courage. They both provide the step forward into what has not been built yet.

They make revolutionaries.

They are and have always been dangerous together.

(Unless of course Brennan decided to go the route that doubt and anger together make fascism lmao).

[cornbake]

The Moon Will Sing PT4

WARNINGS: Heavy Angst, Hurt no comfort No one properly wants this but here you go none the less LMAO Master List

Astarion couldn't tear his eyes from the letter that sat innocently within his tent.

Surely Cazador wouldn't risk coming into their camp to place this? It must have been someone else on his behalf. It always is.

His mind played a thousand horrors on repeat as his crimson eyes never left the sealed parchment. A thousand different words. A thousand different scars.

By the time he refound himself the sun had started to crest into the bright light of twilight. Mentally shaking himself off, he grabbed the letter, giving it a good look over before he even decided to open it.

It was not trapped, yet he did note that the red ink was in fact blood. Your blood. He could recognize the sent anywhere. After all, you had offered yourself to him whenever he felt hungry.

Ice took over his still veins, the idea that Cazador even had the option to write in your blood was all ready enough proof for his fears. Even so, he opened the letter to read the rest of the blood written letter.

The hand writing was swift yet elegant as always, the deep red making the note more ominous, if it needed to be more than it already was. If Astarion could feel even worse he surely would.

Dear Little Star,

I trust this letter finds you in good health, as your galivanting in the sun seems to prove.

As you are surely aware, I have yet to forget your owed responsibilities to your family. Yet worry not. It seems I have been gifted someone in your stead. Unless you care to come home where you belong.

Do not mistake my resolve for leniency. You owe you life to me boy, and as such, I am willing to allow yourself to come to me to repay your debt, less I have to resort to making your newest fascination in your image.

Do not keep me waiting, for the clock ticks swiftly towards an irreversible outcome.

Your beloved Father, Cazador Szarr

Astarion could breath, not that he had reason to in the first place, yet his throat twisted closed. He couldn't see anything as his vision blurred and his body trembled.

He wanted to scream, to run away and never return. But most of all... He wanted to run to you.

He never seemed to realize it, yet now in the absence of it he couldn't see how he could ever be so blind. Over the days of traveling and fighting, he had felt his muscle relax and his mind clear. He was at peace. Something that was so forin that he didn't realize it until it was pried away from him.

"And honestly... I don't think your services are worth the cost."

His words come back to haunt him. Just for a moment, everything was clear. Just for once in his current torment did he find a still peace.

You weren't pried from him. He had willingly fed you to the beasts. You had given him and given him and given him. So much you had given freely to him. You gave him food, both in something he couldn't eat, not that you knew at first, and in blood. You had given him protection, from blades and words. Friends and foes. You had given him comfort from his own thoughts. Given him something he had never thought he could even have. You gave him hope. Love. Your whole heart.

He had thrown it all back in your face. Told you that all of it was nothing.

That you where nothing.

His hand curled into his hair, letter crumpling in his grip. His thoughts, his feelings, his fear. They all consumed him once more. All of it at once. All of his faults coming back to him at once.

And all he could do was cry and long for the comfort of your touch. Craving the soft hands of a seasoned warrior to gently rub circled into his back. Desire the whispers of an angelic voice that tell him he's safe, that no one could ever hurt him again. Yearn for the feathery light touches of your lips as the kiss his head when he finally drifts back into a peaceful slumber.

All he once had. And yet....

His jaw clenched, threating to splinter his teeth into shards. He face damp with the falling of tears. Breath hitching as he tried to hold back his feelings, trying to desperately shove them back into the bottle he once held them all in. A bottle he never realized had opened at some point, yet he knew who had opened it for him.

He knew it all now. He knew all he ever wanted, truly wanted, had been behind him this entire time. All he had to do was turn around. That's all he had to do. He had what was promised to him. He had it. He had it. He fucking had it!

His voice seemed to carry as he cried out in his anguish. Hands threating to pull out his silver hair. The same hair you had once touched with such care and kindness.

Oh how he would give anything to have that back... Any anything he will give.