#you don’t…. get to decide if someone is queer or not thats up to the person | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

crosbyism · 5 months ago

Note

HELLO IM BACK (the sid should have gender affirming sex anon) bc i just realized the real and true reason for sid’s old jock. it looks like an infection hazard right?? THATS THE POINT. the constant dick checks needed to prevent a rash. having a glorified 15 step korean skin care routine for his dick and balls. demanding nate double check his junk.

i had a whole thing about sid fucking his way across the masculinity spectrum to tell u and i can’t express it rn :( i am slightly high i think sid starts out w some fairly stereotypical cishet ideas of masculinity and sex, thinking in the middle of the flyers era misgendering. assumes his visceral negative reaction to getting babygirled is as much the sub part as gender (also bc prob has a lot of cishet ideas about gender and penetration and power) then he gets baby boy-ed and it’s like iiiii can shooow uuuu the woooorld like i think he’s a switch (sex competition!) which imo is underexplored but idk maybe he was operating off the hind brain assumption that bc he was topping in a certain sitch he’s be in charge and gets baby boy-ed by a power bottom. or maybe he tries anal but decides penetration doesn’t get him the way a handjob does bc he wants to touch dicks! idk i think sex gets a lot more wet n wild when penetration isnt treated as “realer” than all other forms even if it can be fun! i am high and this is probably a more nuanced topic than i can express rn sorry :( i just was struck w inspiration about sid’s nasty jock and demanding his junk be looked at to see if other ppl thought he was getting a rash or not

sid gets wiggly when condescendingly called sport

ur so right re nate and the eroticization of the everyday via sid’s masculinity kink. also i think one time the sink breaks and sid’s hind brain is like I Know What To Do and it’s not until he’s standing in front of the sink wearing a white tank top jeans toolbelt and holding a hammer (for a sink???) w nate staring at him expectantly that sid realizes he got all his knowledge from porn and has no clue what to do when facing an actual sink

also i think nate can trick? sid into doing chores if he frames it as fulfilling sid’s being a middle aged man kink. home depot dad kink. babe bring home the bacon. hey handsome going hunting? (grocery shopping). hey stud gimme a ride? wow we should compare charcoal vs gas grill maintaince. man these burgers are so good u gotta show me the recipe

i’ve mostly talked about sid here but ur nate idea w him having his everyday in a box and sec in a box and sid exploding the boxes is soooooo good

ok bye im going to go eat peanut butter. wait no i have chocolate cake!!!!

BESTIE WELCOME BACK 😍🥰😘 lol i love u and feel free to come into my inbox high and craving chocolate cake anytime. im laughing and delighted

LMAOOO re: sid’s nasty jock being an excuse for regular junk inspections, im crying ur SO right bestie. sid keeps being like: oh nooo i have to get my junk inspected again :( and someone has to fondle it while talking about my cock and balls in excruciating detail :( oh nooo what if they have to take out a magnifying glass :( to check for an infection :( and then they’d have to KEEP talking to me regularly about by cock and balls. and inspect it. every day.

anyone else: sid why don’t you just get a new jock

sid: no :) can’t. ✨superstition✨

like it would be SO ON BRAND for him. im crying. and also rolling in this headcanon like a pig in filth (read: sid’s junk in his jock)

re: sid working his way up to it and discovering the delights and dynamics of queer sex as an underbaked youngling, u r cooking and now i’m thinking about, like. sid nervously for one of his first sort of hook ups working his way up to insisting on topping with a very effeminate gay dude (since he feels safe asking for it there) and the guy just blowing his mind going “mh honey you’re such a stud, you’re gonna come and fill me right up, aren’t you?” sid goes UH. yes. YES PLEASE. and the sex essentially starts the process of boiling the frog for him, bc the guy is like. clearly at least a a decade older, clearly handling the reigns, but he’s also luxuriating in getting a cock inside him, calls sid (“just, uh. don’t call me kid, please.”) a sport, a stud, a good boy, basically sort of caringly soft doms him (“oh you’re gonna blow your load soon, aren’t you, baby boy? inside me? it’s okay baby, your big cock feels so good, i want it.”) while also begging for a cock in his ass. by the time sid walks out of there his queer third eye is blown wide the fuck open and he starts sucking and fucking his way through pittsburgh, craving nothing less than the high of shrimp colour sexual encounters. figuring out the shape of his (masc kink) sexual preferences one ultra specific hookup at a time.

the thing is that as a rookie he’s small in hockey terms, but he’s still a big guy compared to the normal population. so it’s not exactly hard to start topping dudes. but i think he does the classic dom top thing a couple of times and it gets a little boring. he loves fucking jocks, albeit starts out fucking smaller guys than him. he’s ecstatic the first time a bearded guy bigger than him goes to his knees and praises how pretty his cock is between sucking him off. he loves being called baby boy. sometimes even likes being called “kid” (but only in a specific gay hookup way). over the years he grows to like and appreciate all sorts of little masc epithets (big guy, handsome, mister, and ultimately daddy). i’m with you re: absolutely a switch, although i think he works his way up to some stuff. he just always, regardless of dynamic, enjoys sex the most when it’s full of masculinisation kink. he loves to be a dude fucking dudes. any which way. he loves touching a dick

i’m laughing so much @ nate tricking him into doing chores via middle aged dad kink bc why are u SO right about this. this is real to me. once nate figures the masc kink thing out he is milking that cow cock day and night about it. “hey handsome going hunting? (grocery shopping)” and “wow we should compare charcoal vs gas grill maintaince” are going to live in my mind rent free forever now, thank u. i’m gonna wake up in the middle of the night two weeks from now thinking: “hunting (grocery shopping)”. and the fact that sid 100% gets off on it. thrives on being referred to like this. sid wants to be the mustachioed porno plumber so bad. nate lets him tinker and break the sink even more just for the kink of it before they break 3 hours and two rounds of sex later and finally call an actual plumber. it’s a good thing they’re millionaires that can afford to break their appliances even more before hiring a professional to fix it.

#this ask cleared my skin watered my crops etc.#come back soon anon #kookanswers #anon #masculinisation and the real guy #sidnate #long post

28 notes · View notes

derfpossessions · 2 years ago

Text

Influencer My Ass

2 days before the entering.

While at the gym, Xara noticed that there was someone distinctively familiar working out nearby. And there he was, Jeremy. He just finished lifting weights as he passed by Xara. She was in a lot of disgust as she saw him rub off the sweat that accumulated over his glistening body.

“Look at this dumb jackass.. so that’s the boy Sheryl was drooling over about.”

Jeremy then saw Xara staring at him and asked.

“Hey, have we met before?”, he asked.

“Obviously not.”, said Xara

“Well, do you follow me on tiktok? haha”, Jeremy jokingly said.

“Maybe if YOU were my type. Adios.�� Said by an annoyed Xara as she left to go to the change rooms.

“Damn… what did I do?”, Jeremy wondered while looking at her leave.

1 day before the entering.

Xara then went to school with her bestfriend Sheryl. Xara was disgusted to see that Sheryl is thirsting over Jeremy on her phone while they were having a conversation.

“Don’t tell me you’re sweating over that goddamn Jeremy again.” Xara angrily said.

“What?? I find him hot thats all!” Sheryl said.

“Well fuck him. He’s not gonna be a good cause to you. None of those boys will.” Xara replied.

“Listen, Xara. It’s not my fault that you’re queer and so isn’t it yours. It’s TOTALLY FINE if you’re not into men. I get it! But why is it you always wanted me to stop getting one?! I just don’t get it!” Sheryl said with an increasing tone.

“Because I love you!!” Xara screamed.

Both of them went silent. There wasn’t any reply after that. Both of them are in 2nd year University but Xara is at the Arts department, while Sheryl is at Life Sciences. They both parted ways as they went to each of their classrooms.

Sheryl didn’t responded to any of Xara’s messages that day. Night came and Xara’s shift at Starbucks was finally over. She went home and found that Sheryl was already asleep, and she must’ve been avoiding her.

Since Sheryl doesn’t like going to parties and obliged Xara to not to as well, Xara broke her rules and decided to go to the next dorm’s House uni party.

There were lots of people from various departments. It was a way of making fun and making friends.

Xara was sitting alone at the bar counter when suddenly she was offered a drink by a strange woman.

“This your first time?”, asked by the lady.

“Yes. how do you know?”, asked Xara.

“Well, I can read people’s minds. And as I’m reading yours right now, I can tell you have problems.” “Love problems.” said by the Lady.

“Look strange girlie, I don’t know how you’ve managed to dose yourself on drugs this early onto the party but I’m not having it.” Xara started to get frustrated.

“Chillax, hehehe.. I am actually for real. Trust me, I need you to take these pills. These are VERY helpful and is specific for your needs.” The lady replied.

“What needs exactly?” asked Xara.

“Well you wanted to love your bestie right? But she loves a cutie boy? How unfortunate!” the lady giggles.

“Hey stop it! Its NOT funny!”, Xara started to get mad.

“Now now… If you take these pills, you will be able to make her fall in love with you. Well not exactly you though.. if you know what I mean.” the lady said.

“What do you mean..?” Xara asked.

“Dumbass! Do you not get it yet!?! I’m an astral projector! A body snatcher! You should be lucky I’m using my original form right now!” the lady started to get mad.

“Wha..What?!? You could do that?!” Xara got curious.

“Yes! Now hurry up and practice! The process would take an hour!” the lady advised her.

“Well.. who do I use this on though??” Xara asked.

“Well who ELSE would it be besides the boy she’s been THIRSTING over!” the lady replied.

“Je..Jeremyy??? Ewww.. but if I have no choice then.. so be it.” Xara reluctantly agreed.

“FINALLY! Took you long enough to agree. The people who masturbate are waiting!!” the lady said.

“Here’s my address. Visit me once all is finished. I want you to see playing that hunk well. Bye bye now.” the lady left.

Xara went home to her bedroom. Sheryl was still wide asleep. She then looked at the pills while sitting at her bed. There were six of those pills.

“Interesting… maybe I should practice doing it like she said??” Xara then swallowed one to see what will happen.

Intensely, she suddenly had a seizure. Her vision was starting to darken, and she lost her senses of the surroundings. She tried to grasp for air but it was too late. She passed out on her bed.

After a few seconds, Xara woke up, but to her surprise her body was no longer physical. She saw her body laying on the ground while she floats mid-air. She phased through the walls and saw Sheryl sleeping tight.

“Woah… this is soo scary…”

Xara then tried to touch Sheryl, but before she could even do so, she suddenly got warped back, sending her back to her own body.

Xara woke up gasping and panting. It turns out the astral projection only has a limited amount of time before you would return back into your own body. It takes practice to stay as a spirit for longer periods of time, but to do so, the person would have to inhabit another person’s body to prolong the process.

Xara plotted her plan to win her love’s heart. Things are about to go wild and sinister from this point on.

The DAY of the entering.

The day has finally come. Xara’s plans to take Jeremy’s body has taken into motion.

All was set. The pills, the emergency note contact, and the nitroglycerin patch mixed with sedatives. More details on that.

As Xara left the dorm, Sheryl had already went ahead to her class without waiting for Xara.

As she exited the door she paused and went like, “Shit. How do I know where to find him though??”

She took a bus ride and sat down. She opened TikTok and to her luck, Jeremy recently posted a new Tiktok. She knew where she would find him at this time, at the gym.

Jeremy had just finished doing his legs workout. He decided to take a break and sit down. He was planning to get home.

Xara then overheard him calling someone and was planning to depart the gym, so Xara acted very quickly.

She followed him into the change room, which of course was a tough process and suspicious since she was a woman entering the men’s room. Then she saw Jeremy sitting and getting his clothes. He was packing up and was about to leave. Xara then sneaked up behind the lockers and pulled out the pills. To her surprise, she knocked over a water bottle which caused Jeremy to catch her.

“Hey! What the hell are you doing here?!?” Jeremy got shocked. “Hold on. You’re that rude girl who walked out on me at the gym 2 days ago! Are you stalking me?!” Jeremy said.

“No.. no! I can explain! I can explain!” Xara got nervous.

“I’m giving you 2 minutes before I call the cops. How do I know you’re not some stalker trying to kill me?!” Jeremy backed away.

“Ok look. My little sister is a big fan of you. Sorry if I was bit rude before ok? I was just annoyed by the fact that she keeps talking about you whenever I meet her! You understand?” Xara lyingly said.

“Well.. that makes me feel a little bit better. Haha! Sorry! Is there anything I could help?” He replied.

“Well there is one request I have… can I take a selfie with you?” She replied.

“No problem! Come here bestie!” Jeremy said.

He didn’t knew that were his last words that day. Xara, with her smart moves, slowly pulled out the nitroglycerin patch as she came closer. She followed the lady’s advice one by one.

“Those patches contain nitroglycerin mixed with sedatives. That would make him black out and faint as soon as you put it in. While you are in his body, DO NOT take that out. You will be immediately ejected out of his body as soon as you do so.”

As Xara came closer to him, Jeremy pulled out the camera to open snapchat.

“Are you ready? You wanna make your sister jealous?” He asked.

“Oh for sure I do.” She said.

“One more thing though, I think this patch would look HOT on you don’t it? This would make you feel and act weird!” She added.

“What.. Oh well, just to make your sister happy I guess!” Both chuckled as she put on the patch.

Jeremy then begin to stutter as he finished taking the photo. He tried reaching for Xara but he just saw Xara standing in front of him before finally losing consciousness.

“You dumb fucking jock. It’s my time to take control of the controller.” Xara grinned.

She then swallowed one of the pills.

“Swallow one of those pills. Then do EXACTLY what you have practiced. When you’re a spirit, enter his body as soon as you can. Be careful though, some spirits might be lurking around in the shadows.”

She went closer to the unconscious Jeremy and started to enter his body. He was lying straight down with his head up, so she positioned herself in the same pose as him.

As her spirit sinks into the body of Jeremy, her arms begin to fit in his like a jacket, her legs began to sink to his legs like pants. She could feel the warmth of Jeremy’s body and the coldness of the floor as she starts to feel her senses return. As her body merges with his, she slowly felt the blood rush in, and later on, she placed her head onto his. It was like wearing a mask, pushing herself down his chin first then starting to see the world through his eyes. Then, it was finished. The possession is complete.

Xara blinked twice to see that she was now laying down the floor. She smelled like sweat mixed with musk. She first got disgusted by the odor so she tried getting up.

Then she tried to open her phone just to see that the Face ID wasn’t working. She opened the camera then soon realized she succeeded. She IS Jeremy now.

She then went to the mirror to feel her new body. Her shoulders were more large and formed, her chest flat, she touched Jeremy’s face and noticed that he had red parts on his skin.

“Wha..what…” She began to speak. She got shocked to how deep Jeremy’s voice is, and practiced speaking as to how he would do so.

“Hey it’s Jeremy! Your tiktoker influencer boy!” She chuckled. “I am going to have a LOT of FUN with this.”

She opened the camera and started recording herself. “Hey Sheryl whats up? You want me huh? Well I’m finally gonna notice you and give you ALLL the love!! Hehehe!”, “Jeremy” said.

And as to her original body, she put her body near the benches for the people to discover. She then prepare to leave the gym, but then realized she didn’t know where Jeremy lived. Good thing she could open his phone and look at the Maps app.

“He” then started to drive back to his home. Yes, HIS home now. As he was pulling over to the nearby gas station, he saw an ambulance at the gym. She then soon realized it was her original body getting pulled away in a stretcher.

“Jeremy” then asked one of the gym people who discovered the woman and asked, “Yo, what happened to that lady over there?”

“Bro I heard the paramedics say she passed out from too much work out I think. Some even said she went to a coma. She’s getting taken to the hospital immediately and her relatives have been contacted.” the dude said.

“Well, that sucks. Sucks to be her right?”, “Jeremy” chuckles as “he” walked away.

“He” then took a quick selfie of his patio.

“He” was a bit annoyed at how he smelled as he hasn’t changed his clothes yet, but did not bothered to change anyway as “he” ADORED this smell.

As Xara was laughing at Jeremy’s tiktoks, an idea came to her mind. She posted a snap with the caption, “I find all the Sheryl’s hot 🥵😍”. To her surprise, Sheryl, her bestfriend and crush, immediately replied to his snap story, saying “OMG MY NAME IS SHERYL XOXOOXO”. Xara didn’t know if she would be disappointed to how thirsty Sheryl was to Jeremy, or to be satisfied as she was NOW Jeremy.

“Jeremy” then began to make the move. “He” chatted her and the both began to flirt with each other. Jeremy and Sheryl were of the same age after all. Sheryl was so in love, and so is Jeremy, well not him but Xara. The both already said their interests, their horoscopes, zodiac signs, favorite Starbucks drinks, etc. It seemed like Jeremy and Sheryl seemingly share a lot of stuff with each other. The two already planned to meet, and Sheryl immediately wanted to be at a hotel already, but “Jeremy” told her to slow down.

“He” then took a quick thirst trap selfie to Sheryl, to which she adored and died on.

“He” was overfilled with joy. “His” plans had successfully worked so good. It felt like nothing or no one could stop “him” now.

As the night comes, Xara had finished scrolling through Jeremy’s gallery, his bank accounts, and text messages. She did an hours long study of his life, how he should act, and his friends and relatives. Her stalking made her tired, so she figured that she needed to take some sleep.

As she slowly lies down to rest though, Jeremy’s father came home.

“Jeremy! How’s my boy!” his dad excitingly asked.

“I’m.. I’m good.. father.” “Jeremy” nervously said.

“Father?!? What am I a priest? HAHAHAAHAH!” His dad laughed and they both giggled.

“What is that on your chest? Injured yourself?”

His dad was curious. Xara got more nervous. Her acts were starting to fall apart.

“Hold on a second. Are you taking steroids my boy? What’s going on?” Jeremy’s dad grew more curious.

“It’s.. it’s nothing! I swear! I’m fine dad!” “He” tried to back away.

“Are you taking steroids?!? Drugs?? Answer me! Why are you acting so weird??”, his dad grew more concerned.

Xara panicked and tried to run away, but Jeremy’s dad pulled Jeremy’s patch and immediately, Jeremy lost consciousness.

“Jeremy! What happened! Are you okay????” His dad tried to wake him up.

Jeremy then woke up. “What.. what happened??” He asked. “I was just at the gym earlier… I don’t remember anything.. I feel drugged..” He added while panting.

Xara was then standing behind them, but now as a spirit. Without a body she could no longer put the patch back. She was hopeless and defeated. She then got warped back to her body, where she woke up at the hospital.

— THE END... for now -

#male body possession #female to male possession

212 notes · View notes

bedforddanes75 · 3 months ago

Note

wips!!! talk to meeeeeeee about them <3333

-b

tbh it was just the one and im gonna rant because I Have Been Prompted x

for whatever mentally ill reason its gatty so apologies but basically its dlid era, and about 20k words of george being In Love and In Denial but hes silly leave him alone:( in those 20k its just RIDICULOUS tho. it is soundtracked to literally anything angsty BUT... also songs and instrumentals by adrianne lenker because that's where i got the title from LMFAO. i also made a pinterest board of it and thats mostly what i wanted to bring up because its so like omg the vibes are so AAA. anyway have...a snippet. so. hoe this is scary how do u do this OKAY dude omg im stressed ALSO Maybe consider this nsfw idk he starts talking shit about matty wanking So um. whatever ALSO sorry tw for homophobic slurs :<

They're fine, stood alone, until someone walks past and shoves Matty with his shoulder, mumbles something about 'What a fag', then looks at him, sniggering. Matty looks down at his hands, fiddling awkwardly.

George glares at the boy, then grabs his shoulder, yanking at him so they're face-to-face.

“Something to say about your boyfriend? Boyfriend who looks like a girl?”

George gives him a hard look, clenching his jaw, balling his fists.

“He’s not my boyfriend. But yeah, I do, actually. Don’t you fucking call him that.”

“Oh, makes sense that you’d say that. Cos you're one too, aren't you? Fucking queer,” he spits, attempting (and failing) to square up, having to tilt his head back an embarrassing amount just to look George in the eye.

The next thing George knows is someone's on the floor in front of him with a bloody nose and his knuckles are pink.

“George, what the fuck!” Ross shouts, suddenly appearing from some door or other.

He can't reply, just stares at the boy on the ground, accepting as people cheer for more and Adam and Ross pull him away.

He's a little unsure of what happens for the next while, all he knows is he doesn't enjoy it, sitting, walking, explaining what happened over and over again, because all he can think of is the look on Matty's face after he spoke. The way he'd looked so hopeless, pulling his hat down further. All he knew in that moment was that he never wanted to see it again.

His mother questions him about what happened as she drives him home, in shock about the fact her (usually quite docile) son had just punched someone. And he tells the truth. He tells her about how sad Matty had looked, how he just wanted to hug him, but something just made him want to hurt the kid.

She believes him, of course, knowing the lengths they’d go for each other, but decides to stay quiet about the fact George got himself almost punched just for the sake of his friend, and what that might mean, especially with their conversation the night prior.

Once they get home, George hides in his room, sitting on his bed and staring at his hands. He can't believe he actually punched someone, the only acts of violence he'd ever shown otherwise were to his friends, playful, nothing genuinely harmful. The sight of that kid on the floor, nose all red and bloodied, made him feel uneasy, knowing he could do that. He knew he was intimidating to most people, with a resting face that looked almost empty, and a stature of six foot something, but he didn’t think he had it in him to give another reason to be scared.

He just can't stop thinking about how happy Matty had seemed before, his smile, those crooked teeth that he loves oh so much, his stupid giggles. The fact he's thinking about his best friend's smile and blushing to himself doesn't fail to make him even more uncomfortable.

George puts his head in his hands, squeezing his eyes shut tightly behind his palms, and lets his shoulders dip down. His mind races with thoughts of Matty, and he feels sick. The thoughts don't stop at just his smile either, and he finds himself thinking about Matty's bare body, thinking about his skinny torso and bony arms, thinking about Matty touching himself, wondering what he would do, what he thought about, who he thought about, whether he'd fuck up into his fist.

He whines, distressed, feeling like a kicked dog, unsure of what to do.

The worst part about it, though, is the fact he's now fully aware of the fact he's getting hard. Over Matty, his best friend, who is also a boy. He wants to cry, he's not gay, so why is he thinking about Matty like that? Especially since Matty is very much a man.

um. anyway. bragging is cool guys show me every wip you have Immediately... also if this sucks then suck my dick and prove it

#thank u for asking i like talking about faggotteens #thats its loving name #its actual name is pulling your face close (comma) wanting the inmost #ivebeen writing this for like three million years dear LORD #the original concept idea thing i got in DECEMBER.#shoot me omg #ive got a teabag in my mouth #AAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 9im sinigng thoroughfare #okay ANYWAY if u actually read it i love u thank u #and if u didnt then ur missing out on the second coming of shakespeare 😒#IM MESSING #blah blah!#i wrote that part in like. february?? idk. i didnt start writing This As It Is Now until around then and thats really early on Sooo #anyway sorry for bragging or whatever but i am actually very proud of this ☹️#gatty #mewtuals #asks #pulling your face close #my fic

13 notes · View notes

fleapit · 5 months ago

Note

“No one is saying gender is a choice”

https://www.tumblr.com/genderkoolaid/752910129568055297/we-should-start-having-the-gender-talk-with-our

They quite literally are. Though. As well as identities, treating as them as if they’re just toppings you pick and choose rather than descriptors that have minimal criteria. Calling yourself ftm because you “like the label” and being ftm bc you have sex dysphoria and wish to/try to/are transitioning to a more male body are two incredibly different things, you don’t “choose your gender” you simply are a gender, and the “progressive trans people” (ie people co-opting this for whatever reason, to feel special mainly) pushing this idea are fucking over actual trans people to a fucking giant degree.

dude im going to be so honest with you, youve been in and out of my inbox for three days and it's kind of weird that you keep refreshing my blog to send me asks about this still. that is NOT what the post you linked is talking about and you need to work on your reading comprehension. that post is talking about how we should make it EASIER FOR KIDS TO COME OUT AS TRANS because gender identity is fluid and is something that they can change, which a transphobic society tells them is impossible. fuck, dude.

literally nobody is saying that being trans is a choice. but fucking honestly man, even if it was, why do you care? it doesnt affect you. i mean this in the nicest way possible but if someone does/doesnt experience dysphoria, how they identify, what their personal feelings are on THEIR presentation and their gender? that's just none of your business! and you don't get to go around demanding to know every little bit of someones traumatic experience- or lack there of- to decide if they're 'trans enough' or not.

nobody is pretending to be trans to feel special dude. thats right wing propaganda bullshit that you've fallen for. you just dont know their life and you are not the fucking authority on it. your experience will never ever be 1:1 with someone else and you can't decide that yours is the superior one to have. you don't get to decide that someone isn't trans just because their identity doesn't make sense to you. fucking grow up.

someone else's joy is not obliterating yours. it's not a random trans person on the internet's fault that you have dysphoria. stop blaming other people for your problems when they're struggling just as much as you. you aren't entitled to the details. move on with your life and MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY instead of trying to make OTHERS just as miserable as you are, because no matter how much complaining you do, someone isn't going to just STOP being multigender or STOP being a trans man and a woman or STOP being nonbinary just because YOU DECIDED it wasn't real and they were 'faking for attention'

honestly. we're all just trying to pay our fucking bills. it doesn't fucking matter to the people trying to murder us if you're a binary trans man good perfect ideal tranny who passes 100% or a multigender fagdyke they/its 'pick-me attention seeker' - THERE ARE NO GOOD QUEERS IN THEIR EYES, AND THEY WANT US DEAD. i think that takes priority.

just mind your fucking business and you'll find yourself a lot fucking happier. good lord.

#asks #Anonymous #this is such online discourse i cant even wrap my head around it

6 notes · View notes

professionallydeadinside · 2 years ago

Note

Oh yeah bro the creator is probably a great guy and he should in no way at all be getting hate or death threats or anything of the sort. Criticism? Absolutely, this comic is ass shit hotdog water, but criticism is, obviously, different from actually threatening the guy.

And I would also like to say this comic would be more redeemable if it was advertised differently, which is definitely something I would tell him if I could. If the comic was more advertised as just something he likes and his own little passion project? Sure, it’d still be absolute shite, but its his own shite so who cares. But by advertising it and giving it this reputation of amazing queer and gay representation, you’re inviting a lot more pressure than this comic can handle, which is something else I would say to him. If the comic had no intent or even rumour of being good gay rep, that’d be different. I also think its a problem because it’s one of the few, and maybe even only, comic about a poly relationship thats in such an accessible place. Yes there are almost absolutely poly comics elsewhere on the internet, I’m fucking sure of it, and people have poly oc’s that they may write or draw about, but they aren’t on webtoon and, most importantly, they aren’t being advertised on YouTube and other huge websites. I don’t know Webtoon decides what comics to use to advertise, and I don’t pretend to know, but regardless of whether you have to submit the comic or Webtoon just emails you and asks for permission to use it, there’s still some responsibility on the creator. If this comic really was just for the creators personal fun, that’s totally fair! You’re allowed to make shit stories when they’re for you and some friends! And the occasional enjoyer! That’s so fair and valid! Make shit stories, it’s how you learn! But by allowing it to become an ad, it’s now forced to stand on its own against the mass public. That means criticism, that means meticulously being picked apart. That means realising that your fun can hurt people. Again, I think that if Boyfriends had never been used in ads, these problems wouldn’t exist, or would be much lesser. But by being an ad, it

1) gains the idea that its amazing. You’d think that choosing something to be an ad for your website means it’d be an amazing thing. You wouldn’t want, like, FF.net to use My Immortal as an ad (even though that would be a great marketing tactic because of its notoriety its an objectively bad fic). Its that thought that brings people in to that comic with extremely high hopes. Those high hopes aren’t good for a comic that would almost certainly be better as a goofy comic thats known by very few and is very much just shown to those that would enjoy it, those that search it out.

2) is shown to people who wouldn’t enjoy this comic. Instead of keeping it hidden and almost underground, where the only ones who see it are those that search it out and thusly would enjoy it. By showing it to a wide audience like the ads on YouTube did, not even only showing them before gay creators videos!, its opening the door for people who wouldn’t actually enjoy this comic and how it works, and that’s something that shouldn’t happen.

3) it’s given a reputation. By being a comic about gays in a poly relationship, something horrendously underrepresented, and by showing this comic to so many, it’s automatically expected to be a great demonstration of poly relationships. It isn’t. This isn’t a great demonstration of poly relationships. One forth of the relationship only cares about the others for sex.

These are all things that I wish, I wish, the creator would’ve realised before agreeing to let their comic be used in ads. Of course, this is assuming that webtoon even asked permission to use the comic, but I don’t know enough about how Webtoon chooses comics for ads to say anything. I wish the creator had realised or someone had told them that this comic simply cannot stand up in the face of the mass public. It is a comic for a very specific kind of person, with very specific interests in their comics they ingest. Its for people who like the cutesy anime kawaii-without-understanding-that-kawaii-was-made-as-Japanese-punk-rebellion aesthetics with OWO UWU humour. Its not for everyone. Its not even for most people. It’s very sad to me that something they made for likely their own enjoyment was thrust in front of the public where it was essentially thrown to the wolves. But it happened, and the creator presumably consented to it being put here, in front of us all, shoved in our faces by Webtoons ads, and so it will thusly be ripped to shreds and critiqued. By putting it in such a lime light, the creator has, inadvertently or not, invited such criticism. While they don’t deserve threats or to feel unsafe, they allowed their comic to be shown like it was, and thusly, I feel, cannot complain about the consequences of that action.

SILAS RANT RETURN SILAS RANT RETURN

#i hope you know when you send these i accept them like a teacher being handed an essay #answered

15 notes · View notes

worldenough-and-time · 1 year ago

Text

I know it’s better to like “let my art speak for itself,” but I do want to say a few things about this next chapter of TTTB.

So, story time: I’ve been writing this fic while living in a red state that is in the process of passing a slew of horrendous anti-trans legislation. A little while ago when I was writing this chapter, I went to a state legislature committee hearing to speak against a bill that would ban gender affirming medical care for minors. Of course, the the Texas Leg are are a bunch of fucking cowards so they stacked the “invited testimony” block of the hearing with right wing nut jobs, and public testimony didn’t even begin until 9pm. For context- hundreds of people had driven in from all over the state to testify against this bill. Some had been there since 6 in the morning. Then the committee decided they were going to cut off the public testimony at midnight- which is highly unusual and was clearly a reaction to the obvious public opposition to the bill, which they were planning to pass no matter what anyone said. I never got to speak, and the vast majority of the people there never got to speak.

So like, fuck democracy, I guess.

Anyway, at around 9pm the public testimony starts. Since this was a bill that would affect kids, there were a lot of kids and families there. Again, these folks had been there since 6 in the morning, had missed school and work the whole day, and were finally getting to speak. And these kids were amazing. Ten, eleven, twelve year olds, hundreds of miles from home, exhausted, speaking to senators about their right to exist. Justifying their right to continue getting the care that their doctors and therapists and parents agreed was medically necessary. Literally begging these fucking ghouls to vote down this bill, or else they would likely have to move out of the state.

And a lot of the kids talked about when they first realized they were trans. And those stories usually had one thing in common- they had met another trans person, recognized their own experience, and were finally able to verbalize what they’d never had the language to say before.

And it struck me that this is exactly what all the bigots are trying to make impossible with these laws. They want to legislate trans kids out of existence, make it illegal to be trans in public, censor any mention of queer or trans folks in schools, ban gender nonconforming folks from any place kids might be, so that kids don’t have anyone to look to when they’re figuring out they’re queer and trying to see if it’s possible to be who they are safely and happily. Cause it’s so much harder to be open about who you are without seeing someone else do it first- without anyone to guide you.

And thats what this chapter is about.

Anyway, I’m not trans but I love people who are, and this fic is in a lot of ways a love letter to them, and to the queer community where I live. We’re not going anywhere.

Ah, that ended up being a lot longer than I thought. Without any further ado- here’s the chapter. I’ll make another post without this whole preamble, but yeah. Today and Always, Fuck the Texas Leg.

Chapter 9: Test Case

Sirius was nine years old the first time she ran away from home. She only managed to stay away one night before Kreacher came and dragged her back from Andromeda’s flat, but it didn’t matter. That one night changed her life.

“Shit, An, is that a kid?”

Sirius looked up from the stoop on which she sat. She’d dozed off slightly while waiting for Andromeda to get home. For some reason she had imagined that Andromeda would be there to greet her with open arms when she’d clutched the small key ring her cousin had given her last year, a portkey to her new flat. Just in case.

It hadn’t even been that bad at home when she’d left. Just a row with her mother, a few lashes on the top of her hands that Sirius thought she’d truly earned by the end the way she’d run her mouth. Maybe Andromeda would think she’d wasted it. Sirius had always been impulsive.

Now her cousin stood under a fluorescent streetlight flanked by Ted, whom Sirius knew, and several other friends, whom Sirius did not. All of them looked like they were getting home after a night out, dressed in leather and fishnets and eyeliner, even the blokes, and Sirius thought they were the coolest people she’d ever seen in her life.

“Sirius?” Andromeda asked, coming close enough to see her clearly. She was barefoot in silk pajamas, eyes blotchy, hair a mess, shivering from the cold. There was dark crusted blood on her hands and the hem of her shirtsleeve. She held the spent portkey with a shaking grip.

“Hey Andy.”

#i was gonna be vauge about where I live but then I gave up on that #I love you Texas queers ❤️#wolfstar #lesbian wolfstar #sapphic wolfstar #wolfstar fic #marauders

3 notes · View notes

winderlylandchime · 6 months ago

Note

My brother didn’t allow me to message you until the aries season was over because he didn’t want to accidentally wish you a happy early bday. Which btw since I get to decide on the placement of his message, I’m going first: Happy (probably late) Birthday! I hope you had a lovely day and that you spent it surrounded with people who love you. And now from the man himself: ‘YOOOO ARIES THATS WHATS UP! See, that’s why we fucking clicked because we are basically the same fucking person! TWINS some would call it! Tell her Happy Birthday and that she’s the coolest! I knew we had a connection that ran deeper than our man Brian!!!’

And so that you know, he is making ALL of his friends watch qaf with him. Just 7 dudes hanging out watching Britin. So I’ve been receiving texts and updates about them going insane over qaf from my brother the way you did (except funny enough their reactions are normal) And also his friends more than once a day text me ‘but they end up together right?!’ They are also watching the firefighter show, well actually they all started watching that in 2020 on zoom and when that episode aired where the guy is finally kissed by a man, they went absolutely INSANE! Think of hetero men reacting to their favorite sports team winning and its basically the same thing. And now they’re doing that to qaf and my brother is dying the same way I was with him. The torch has been passed. And he only briefly almost kicked someone out because they said Mikey isn’t THAT annoying. They grow up so fast

AWW!!! Y’all are too kind. Thank you so much for the birthday wishes! I had an incredibly fun birthday - went to Vegas for the weekend and pretty much did nothing (I rarely drink, I don’t gamble, and I’m not a club girlie) except go to see Rupaul’s Drag Race Live. It’s a show I’ve wanted to see ever since I saw Vegas Revue on prime in the early days of the pandemic. (It’s actually been a drag intensive last 6 months or so… I’ve gotten to see so many incredible shows.)

I am beyond belief at the idea of these 7 (straight?!) dudes sitting around watching this unapologetically and in-your-face queer show. I love how they’re rooting for Britin and for the bi character on that 911 show. The idea of a group of straight men automatically makes me nervous; I’ve not had many good interactions with straight men in group format. This gives me hope. This is the allyship we need.

Mikey isn’t that annoying?!?! fdjhfdhjksgfhjsfdhj LMAO. I’m glad he almost got kicked out. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions but some opinions are objectively wrong.

#ask winderlylandchime #dear sweet anon #a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023 #2024 edition #multiple straight men edition

1 note · View note

aeinstong · 2 years ago

Text

Okay. Byler discussion ahead.

I’m going to give the Duffer brothers the benefit of the doubt (even though they’ve done nothing to deserve it. They quite literally made the only canon lesbian in love with a very unimpressive side character with no personality other than what robins personality is, killed an incredibly queer coded man -even though it made no sense- for shits and gigs, and took the other queer man and made him only suffer for four seasons because queer people cant be happy). So I will be playing devils advocate a tiny bit. The build up for Byler in the entirety of the show, especially in season 4, was just kind of thrown away in vol 2. The only way they could salvage it is by making Byler explicitly canon in season 5.

For a minute lets talk about the build up I’m referring to. Will Byers and Mike Wheeler met in Kindergarten on a swing set and became instant friends. A detail they pay specific attention to. A detail they deemed so important that its the memory Mike used to try and reach Will when he was possessed by the Mind Flayer. Mike even claimed it was the best decision he ever made. Again when Will lost his memory he could still easily say “thats my friend Mike”. Also not to mention the whole lets go crazy together vow in Mike’s basement (i think thats where it was?? Idk I’m going off of memory here). Mike and Will are the only ones out of the original Party to have these moments. Then in season 3 Mike starts becoming a complete ass towards Will??? Which did not make sense based on Mike’s previous actions. Then Will and Mike get into an argument where Mike says and I quote “its not my fault you don’t like girls”. Now what the hell boy. Where did that come from? It would’ve made more sense for him to say “I’m sorry you don’t have a girlfriend!” or “its not my fault you don’t have a girlfriend”. That alone implies so many things. Then in season 4 we have Mike acting strange and overall just kinda avoiding Will. Which is unusual because visiting your best friend should cause more enthusiasm. Unless you have repressed feelings toward said best friend and you also have to be around your girlfriend while dealing with those feelings. He probably feels guilty for his feelings and is avoiding Will in favor of giving El attention because it makes him feel more “normal” (not gay). But Mike is aware he doesn’t love El because he can’t even bring himself to write it let alone say it. Why do you have such a hard time saying you love your girlfriend of multiple years when you’ve already told her? Then we have the longing stares and the tender emotional music. And the talk about opening up and feeling afraid between Mike and Will. Then in volume two we have Will telling Mike how wanted and loved he is by “El” (actually just him. It was so obviously not about El even my catholic father noted that Will is in love with Mike).

But nope! The Duffer brothers decided that the reason Mike can’t say I love you is because he’s afraid of losing her (how does that make sense in any way shape or form). Oh and the reason he’s being an asshole to Will is because Mike decided to be an asshole one day.

Buuuut, if they have a confession scene this could all come together. Mike and someone arguing and he just lets it all spill including his feelings towards Will. Mike breaks up with El probably with the encouragement of Nancy or whoever he spilled to. We have a confession between Will and Mike both and they get together. Im really hoping this is what they had in mind all along. All fixed.

#stranger things vol 2 #stranger things #trying to grasp my sanity here #i would tag mileven but I feel like id get attacked #byler #mike wheeler is in love with will byers #mike wheeler #will byers #will byers is in love with mike wheeler #anti duffers #duffer brothers #st4 vol2 #vol 2 was a disappointment im not even gonna lie #especially when it came to character development #but also no super awesome link up before fighting the big bad???#would’ve loved to see it

31 notes · View notes

maybemountains · 3 years ago

Text

Nova & Thalia Headcanons

hello everyone and welcome back to a new episode of “Buttercup is a Yearning Sapphic with far too many thoughts about One (1) sapphic ship in a D&D Show and they’ve decided to make it everyone else’s problem!”, this time with Nova & Thalia from Aerois! (no cut bc i dont understand how tumblr works (sorry) and everything is being pasted straight from our dms bc i cba to rewrite or reformat this)

(special thanks to aestivalor from the HR discord for getting just absolutely spammed with all of my thoughts in DMs & the occasional very good additions)

a modern setting AU but it's specifically for the sake of like. nova and thalia lying next to each other on the roof of a car, and you have nova pointing out different stars in the night sky they see and like, thalia knows all of this already, but she loves her beloved nerd so she's content to just listen to nova ramble

ALTERNATIVELY, au where they're watching the stars together and you get the trope of "arent they just beautiful" (nova, abt the stars), "yeah," (thalia, lovingly, looking at Nova) [or vice versa, i could imagine either of them in either position]

now, please also consider, nova and thalia slow dancing together, again under the stars bc im gay and love the stars but frankly it could be anywhere bc i think the importance is mostly on the way they're look at each other, how close they are

but specifically, i like the concept of thalia, being a princess, knowing how to slow dance really well and nova not really knowing and being worried abt stepping on thalia's toes but maybe they're in the grass, maybe it's a late night and they were watching the stars and maybe it's just a peaceful summer day, regardless, thalia asks nova if she wants to dance and nova's willing to say less and they're just quietly slow dancing together, barefoot in the grass. there may not be music playing but that's okay bc their laughter is all they really need and thalia's softly guiding nova as they go and maybe nova steps on her toes occasionally but thats okay bc she's learning and eventually they're just dancing and twirling together to no music but the sound of their laughter and their soft contentment

ALTERNATIVELY, bc i am a sapphic and its my biggest fuckin dream, au where nova and thalia are dancing together at a masquerade ball and they're both dressed to the nines and have the nicest fuckin masks and maybe they play up the fact that they're "not supposed to know each other's identities" and its a little bit for show but it's just fun and they're having fun and lbr they're both being gay as shit beneath those masks

it is personally very important to me when queer people do the little pinkie hook hand hold thing bc its just. its such a small and lowkey thing but like. it's so important to me. and i just like to imagine nova and thalia on their own in a moment and just kind of like. hooking pinkies. maybe they wanna hold hands but its too hot to do that comfortably or maybe they just wish to anchor themselves onto one another without it being too much contact and they're just hooking pinkies but it's also that thing of like. when someone strays too far to the side when your holding hands and you kinda pull them back on course or its like, lifting your hands over slight obstacles so you don't have to stop holding hands and stuff like that but with them and their linked pinkies

okay so i dunno if this all applies in canon so if it doesn't just imagine some slight canon divergent settings BUT

nova and thalia having the gay moments of tucking a flower into the other's hair/behind their ear

the tenderness of brushing someone's hair away from their face for them

sharing music. yes this probably only works in a modern AU BUT, please imagine nova or thalia offering the other an earbud as they're shading a phone from sunlight so they can watch a video/listen to music/smth along those lines

i offer as well, the gay panic of before your dating someone but accidentally brushing your hands together and not knowing if you can hold their hand or not

this one's extremely self indulgent and modern AU-y as well but like, the experience of like being in a cafe or out with someone during like the day and maybe it's golden hour, maybe it's just the sun setting, but it's the way the sun hits their eyes or maybe it's golden hour light and that mixed in with everything and the way they're smiling/laughing in that moment and you're just fucking gone bc in that moment they're brighter than the sun itself

Now this next one requires some more context. But, my lockscreen right now on my phone is franmaya (from ace attorney) fanart of Maya holding Franziska’s hand and pulling her along through a park very excitedly pointing at something. Now, please imagine this with Nova & Thalia

specifically, in an aquarium or some shit and nova's dragging thalia around and pointing at all the neat things

aestivalor: or like a natural history museum or science museum dragging her around to look at the cool rocks or meteorites or explain the exhibit to her instead of reading the info things,,,,,,,,,,,,

aestivalor: Thalia getting her own personal expert guided tour courtesy of Big Fucking Nerd

but also i think it would be really funny if there's this like, thing of thalia both trying to take in all the information bc thalia is a nerd too, lbr, but also bc it's where nova's from and it's important to nova so it's important to thalia VS the fact that thalia is. deeply gay and in love with nova and she keeps getting distracted by just how cute nova is when she's excited

aestivalor: YES omg the constant internal battle of “shes so cute when she’s all excited like this she’s so pretty and smart I love her so much wAIT LISTEN TO HER THEN DUMBASS SHES TALKING TO YOU”

(also in my heart of hearts, nova when she's excited talks a lot with her hands / she bounces and paces around and is very like hand flappy or generally has like these little happy stims and it's the cutest thing and thalia loves it sm)

other soft nova & thalia thoughts but not necessarily just ship thoughts include little things like

nova fiddles with the ends of her scarf when she's nervous (i suppose, now, it's aila's tartan bc i think she added it to the end of her scarf?), but i like the concept that if she ever ended up with smth from thalia that's like, a ring or a bracelet or a necklace, that that would also end up in the rotation as like. smth she messes with. like if it's like a pendant on a chain type necklace she'll move the pendant up and down the chain or if its a ring/bracelet it's just her twisting it where it is but i just like the idea of nova being nervous and using like, these things that were given to her by her family as a way to ground / calm herself

(I was then reminded that nova has a charm bracelet with thalia’s family crest on it so Imagine That for this specifically)

(also please imagine thalia doing the same with anything she'd be given from nova or her other loved ones)

nova and thalia being nervous/afraid and doing that thing where you squeeze your partner's hand in reassurance

SIMILARLY, nova &/or thalia listening to music while they're out an abt and maybe they're holding hands and maybe thalia's tapping along to the music on nova's hand and it's such a small thing and maybe thalia doesn't fully realize it but nova doesn't mind it and thinks its kinda charming so she lets it happen

ALSO. going back to the dancing thing real quick. personally bc im someone who loves street performers like so fuckin much, i like the concept of like, that being a thing on aerois right, and perhaps its the party's day off or smth and so you have nova and thalia walking around town or smth and they pause to listen to like. some performer who's playing violin or smth right, and consider, perhaps, thalia asking nova then and there if she could have that dance and the two of them dancing along to this random performer's music bc maybe it's silly but it's fun (bonus points if the song that’s being played is kingdom dance bc god those are the perfect vibes)

okay that’s all i’ve got for yall tonight, but tldr: nova & thalia my Beloveds!

#buttercup subjects themself to the mortifying ordeal of being known #nova vger #thalia whisperwind #aerois #high rollers #roll on sunday #uhhhh i dont know if there's other things to tag this with #please all i ask is for them to be happy and soft #that is all my little gay heart needs #side note that if you see typos #no you dont #we do not percieve my inability to type lmao #also @ my irls if you see this #listen #i wont defend myself #im gay and in love with them yall should simply join me here

29 notes · View notes

rosy-cheekx · 4 years ago

Note

Heard you were looking for prompts :) 1 of 2 - From favorite tropes: Blind date set up by mutual friends! And maybe combined with "I'm speechless you're so beautiful" from the fluff & kisses (and other stuff) prompts. Go wild with it!

This will go to AO3 soon, but it was a lot of fun to write and a nice distraction from any hypothetical realities the TMA fandom may be experiencing.

Double-Blind: 5K

Martin smelled like espresso. He wrinkled his nose and dusted his hands on his apron uselessly, as if doing so would rid himself of the months of coffee, cinnamon, and hazelnut baked into his skin. It wasn’t all that bad, he supposed, except what was the point in using cologne if it was going to be immediately overpowered?

The bell above the door jingled and Martin jumped, pulled from his thoughts on cologne and what he would like to smell like, given the opportunity. Sandalwood, maybe? Tobacco and vanilla? The musky-sweet smells are nice, they have a nice mix of feminine and masculine to them, almost—

“Ahem.” An exaggerated clearing of the throat, once again whisking him from his distractions. Martin locked eyes on the woman across the counter from him, grinning mischievously. “Welcome back to Earth, Martin.”

“Oh! Oh. It’s just you. Hi, Georgie.” Georgie Barker, a regular customer, moderately well-known podcast host, and most importantly, one of Martin’s favorite people to see at the tiny coffee shop he spent more time in than his own flat.

“Just me? Excuse me.” Georgie pouted and crossed her arms, coily hair bouncing around her face as she shook her head. “I’ll have you know you should be grateful to see me this fine afternoon, Martin Koffee Blackwood!”

Martin grinned and dropped the act. “I always am, Georgie. But I told you, there’s not a—”

“Like I said, you should be happy to see me.” Georgie barreled on. “I have good news.” She cocked her head and pondered the chalk-covered board behind the counter. “Two chai lattes, please. And make one of them extra spicy?”

Martin rang up the order and passed two cups down to Rosie, all the while checking the door surreptitiously, ensuring a little chat wouldn’t hold anyone up. “Okay? Spill.”

Georgie’s phone was in her hand, and she waved it at Martin like it contained the secrets of the universe. “D’you remember my roommate, Melanie?”

Martin nodded, pursing his lips. “Vaguely. I thought you guys were dating.” He raised his eyebrows, waiting for her to elaborate.

Georgie waved a hand dismissively, rolling her eyes. “Not the point. Anyways, she has a friend of a friend-“ Georgie frowned for a moment, “…of a friend who is looking to get back into dating. Mel says he’s short and nerdy and prickly until you get to know him. Apparently a real pain to work with according to the friend.” Georgie smirked and pulled a sticky note from her back pocket. “Thought maybe you’d want his number.”

Martin grimaced at the blue piece of paper as she smoothed it to the counter with a firm motion. “Wow, George. Really selling it.” It was his fault; they had bonded over being queer back in July when Martin had worn his gay and trans pride buttons and Georgie was proudly sporting her own pansexual patch firmly affixed to her laptop case. One lunch break discussing quirky exes later, their friendship had been sealed. Mentioning offhandedly that he was on dating apps and hating every minute of it seemed to have rooted itself in Georgie’s mind and had grown like weeds until she had taken it upon herself to become his personal wing woman.

“Do you even know his name?” Martin asked, regarding the string of numbers on the piece of paper in front of him.

Georgie blushed, shrugging apologetically. “Friend of a friend of a friend. Sorry mate. Melanie said he likes cats, documentaries, and-” she made air quotes with her fingers, “-being uptight.”

“Wow.” Martin chuckled in disbelief. “Really selling it here.”

Rosie sidled by Martin and set down Georgie’s lattes, who shrugged and picked them up after dropping a few coins in the tip jar. “You have his number. Just think about it, Blackwood. Melanie’s friend doesn’t spread the word about someone unless they’re something special.” She blew a kiss (clumsily, considering the cups requiring the attention of each of her hands) and made her way to the door.

“I just want you to be happy!” She called out as the January winds pulled her out the door and into the grey afternoon.

Martin chewed on his lip as he considered. January was always a tough month for him, and he had been feeling a little lonely recently. He really didn’t see anyone besides his coworkers, customers, and his mother. As much as he enjoyed his job, he wouldn’t call anyone there a romantic interest. He folded the sticky note and stuck it in his pocket as his next customer approached the counter. He did like cats, after all. Maybe that would be a good starting conversation.

Jonathan Sims groaned and shifted the stack of books in his hand as he inspected the knee-high table that was buried amongst the fiction books. He hated working the children’s section of the library. Although no food or drink was allowed, there always seemed to be crumbs everywhere. He was starting to wonder if children just manifested them. He made a mental note to come back with disinfectant wipes after putting the stack of child-suitable biographies away and turned, nearly walking straight into the chest of one Timothy Stoker.

“A-ah!” Jon jumped instinctively backward, clutching the books closer to his chest in an attempt to keep from dropping them. “Tim! Good lord, there’s really no need to be sneaking up on me like that.”

Tim grinned wryly and shrugged, taking half of the books from Jon’s arms. “Sorry boss, thought you heard me.” He gestured for Jon to lead the way through the half-sized bookshelves; an unnecessary act seeing as Tim worked the children’s library much more frequently than Jon did.

“I’m not your-” Jon sighed, deciding this wasn’t the hill he wanted to die on today. He made his way through the shelves, sliding books into their correct placements with practiced hands. “Do you need something?”

“Actually,” Tim checked a Dewey code and slid a book into a shelf a few rows down. “I don’t. But you do.”

Jon stared blankly, uncomprehending. Tim chuckled and gestured with a cock of his head towards the research section. “Melanie said she has a friend who has a friend she wants to set up on a date. And while normally, I’d jump at the chance-” he waved his left hand, the silver ring inset with tiny diamonds flashing in the fluorescents, “I’ve been wifed up and I don’t think my dear Sash would appreciate my going on a blind date with a stranger.”

Jon frowned, setting his stack of books down and eyeing Tim. “What, so I have to?”

Tim shook his head, a patient smile on his face. “No, no one is forcing you. I just think—well. It’s been a while since your last relationship and you’ve been a little…testy, recently.” The look on Tim’s face dared Jon to contradict. “Melanie says he’s apparently a really good guy, very kind and sweet and patient. I think his name is Melvin? I kinda tuned out after she wrote down the number she got from her friend.”

Jon scoffed, pushing his glasses up his face as if that would help him comprehend the absolute ridiculousness of what Tim was saying. “Y-You want me to go on a date with this guy, Melvin? Because I’ve been…grumpy? That doesn’t seem very kind to this mysterious date.”

Tim pursed his lips. “I just think you could benefit from seeing someone who doesn’t work here. I mean, we love you Jon, but god, you need to get a social life. I’m practically begging you.” Tim’s purse elongated into a pout, eyes going big and starry. Jon inwardly groaned. Tim was his oldest friend here at the library and he really never learned how to resist that face. Maybe he should ask Sasha.

“One date,” Jon promised. “I’ll do one date. And then you never set me up again.”

Tim grabbed the rest of the books Jon had set down and added them to his stack before whisking himself away down the aisles. “If we’re lucky, I’ll never have to!” He called down the aisles, grinning madly. Jon sighed and grabbed a small pink sticky note that had been stuck to the countertop, running his eyes over the numbers before slipping it into his pocket. He’ll call later.

Martin stared resolutely at the numbers on the blue sticky note, running his thumb over the curled edge of the paper, slightly stained from some sort of milk during the shift. Even his apron pockets weren’t foolproof. The underground was busy and he was jammed between an older woman who smelled weirdly like salmon and a man who seemed utterly too well-dressed to be on the tube. Elbows crammed into his side to keep from nudging anyone, he pulled out his phone and stared at the messaging app for what felt like several minutes. He typed the numbers into the message bar and watched his cursor blip in the body of the message.

Hey whats up?

No, that would be so weird.

Hiya, this is martin!

Georgie never said the man’s name, would this mysterious date know his?

Hey I think the alphabet is missing I and U together.

Gross. Just gross. Martin grimaced inwardly and chewed on his lip, thinking carefully before typing.

Hi! My name is martin. my friend gave me your number, hope thats okay. she said you were really nice and recommended we try a blind date. if this is too weird, I get ignoring it. but if youre game, I am! :)

As he finished typing, he heard the familiar robotic voice of the tube announcing his stop. Quickly, Martin shoved the phone in his pocket and carefully forced his way through the crowd and onto the platform, mind cast to what he had accessible for dinner.

----

It took Jon a few days, until Saturday, to remember to call the phone number they had been given. They could text, they supposed, but they always appreciated hearing someone’s intonation a little better. Especially a stranger, ugh, they shuddered at the idea of not being able to decipher the tone of this Melvin. It was half-past 11 when they decided to call, hoping this would be late enough in the morning to not wake him up.

The phone rang momentarily before a surprisingly feminine voice answered the phone. “Hello. This is Rosie. You’ve reached Swirl Café and Bakery.”

Well shit. This was not what Jon expected. They stumbled over their rehearsed speech, trying to scramble words together in a way that made sense. “Uh-sorry, I must have the wrong number. I-I was trying to speak to Melvin?”

“Mmm, sorry. No Melvin works here. We have a Martin, but he’s off the clock. Would you like to speak to our manager?” Rosie’s voice was clipped and courteous, but Jon could hear the bustle of voices in the background. It must be their weekend rush.

“Ah-uh, no, no thank you.” Jon shook their head into the phone, before remembering that did not translate aurally. “It’s alright. Thank you anyways.”

“Sorry, mate. Thanks for calling!” The dial tone droned on for a moment before Jon hung up, sighing and pressing the heels of their hands into their eyes. That was a waste. Melanie must have been playing them; Jon knew they generally didn’t get along, but they didn’t realize she would stoop so low. Honestly, shame on themself for getting excited about a date.

Later that evening, Jon was cooking and listening to music through the speaker that balanced precariously on a shelf next to their stove. The music was low, with a variety of orchestral instruments and sultry, smooth voices. Jon’s eyes were half closed as they stirred the curry in the pan in front of them, letting the music and heat of the kitchen entangle them in a sleepy feeling relaxing their whole body. As the cello in the song dipped low and resonant, Jon stood still, letting the music sweep them away—

They jumped as the ringer alerted them through the speaker that they had received a text, glaringly electronic compared to the rich notes of cello and viola that had been so rudely interrupted. Sleepy feeling gone as adrenaline washed through their body, Jon sighed and retrieved their phone, checking for the message.

An unknown number flicked across the screen:

Hi! my name is martin. my friend gave me your number, hope thats okay. she said you were really nice and recommended we try a blind date. if this is too weird, i get ignoring it. but if youre game, I am! :)

i meant to send this a few days ago but I never hit send. sorry ab that! rosie said someone called the café asking ab me and i assumed that was you bc i wasnt expecting anyone else and no one involved in the blind date thing ever asked for my mobile number.

if it wasn’t you, oops! either way it reminded me that i had never texted you. :)

Jon squinted at the screen as they read the messages a few times over. That was…a lot of words. So his name was Martin. It was certainly nicer than Melvin. Jon agonized over their words as they typed out a response.

Hello Martin. That was me who called the café…I hope it didn’t cause problems for you. Blind dates aren’t usually my thing, but my coworkers think I need to get out more. I’d be happy to meet you for dinner or coffee. Even if we don’t get along, we can say we’ve done it.

Unless, of course, you’re rather sick of coffee. I prefer tea anyways.

…not “done it” done it. Just. Had the blind date.

Jon winced at their follow up texts. God, that was embarrassing. Martin probably didn’t even take it that way until they bothered to clarify. They shook their head, warding away the growing anxiety in their chest and tucked their phone in their pocket as they turned their attention back to the simmering curry. Jon had embarrassed themselves enough for one night.

----

Martin chuckled at the texts that came through; one slow and the two follow-ups rapid. He could feel the awkwardness through the messages, desperately trying to give a good impression. He chuckled to himself as he set down his dinner plate.

dinner sounds perfect. but same about the tea! and about the coworkers tbh, my friends think im making friends with the espresso machine. which, i am, but only bc its good company haha.

btw i never got your name?

Martin’s phone was silent the rest of the night, as he plodded his way through a mediocre dinner and shower before settling into his armchair, desperate to work on his poetry. Words came slowly to him recently, thoughts about the world and darkness and the intersection of fall and winter. He really should up and move to somewhere warmer, he thought to himself, before laughing the notion away aloud. Yeah, right. He rolled his eyes and tried to focus on the poetry prompts book he had found at the charity shop. “Use noncolor words to describe a color.” Great. Martin settled back and tried to focus, but kept finding himself checking his phone impulsively, the foamed latte art he’d photographed, one of a cat he was particularly proud of, stared back at him judgmentally.

As he drew his evening to a close, Martin almost missed the buzz of his phone, now plugged in by his bed, as he brushed his teeth.

Congrats on the espresso machine. And my name is Jon. Anywhere you want to go for dinner?

________________________________________________________________

Jon hesitated, thumb hovering over the icon that would open a video chat with Tim. He didn’t want to come off nervous, but… he was.

Texting had been going well. Martin was good at keeping the conversation going and genuinely seemed to enjoy the long texts Jon had sent regarding his irritations with the research he was conducting as a part of his master’s in literature, asking him questions about details Jon had added for context. Martin was easy to talk to, too, he always seemed to have an opinion on subjects but always ones Jon was happy to hear, even if he was objectively wrong about spiders and oolong tea. Martin had sent an awkward text, letting Jon know he was trans and that if that was a dealbreaker he should tell him now, one Jon had blushed over and responded that he was nonbinary himself, and that it certainly wasn’t. The “okay fantastic! :))) remind me of your pronouns? he/him for me.” that followed it up had made Jon’s heart sing.

They had agreed to meet at an Italian place, equidistant between their flats and not too fancy. Martin had commented about getting ice cream after, but Jon wasn’t sure if he was joking or not, since it had also been a jab about Jon’s preference for rum raisin. Thus, he was staring at his wardrobe, paralyzed with indecision. Tim had offered to help, which Jon had initially rejected since he’s “not a child Tim, I’ve dated before. And I know how to dress myself.” But lord if he wasn’t wishing for someone to lay out his clothes and tell him to behave. He grimaced and jabbed the video chat button, bracing for the onslaught of teasing to come.

----

Martin adjusted his collar for what must have been the twelfth time, sucking on his lip as he waited at the reserved table. He hadn’t been there long, no more than five minutes, but his anxiety had been building up all day and a part of him was absolutely certain Jon wasn’t going to come. Neither of them knew what the other looked like; what if Jon saw him and had dipped out immediately? He was wearing mint green, as he had promised, so Jon would recognize him, and brought a bouquet of daisies, mostly because it felt weird not to bring anything, but he didn’t want to be too romantic. Not roses or anything. Besides, Jon said he liked daisies, said they reminded him of an old friend. Martin hoped it wasn’t too weird. He brushed his auburn curls out of the way of his eyes, part of him regretting not having gotten a haircut first, but he tucked those thoughts aside as he surveyed the restaurant from his vantage point.

He blinked in confusion as he watched long curls make their way towards him. Dark black hair, streaked with white, half bunned up in the back and rest left to hang loose, skimming purple-covered elbows. Martin wasn’t sure if they were wearing flowy grey pants or a skirt, but either way, the faint black pattern to them was stunning and Martin couldn’t help but watch the swoosh of the hemlines. As the person got closer, Martin realized they were tiny, stylized eyes.

“Ah-you’re Martin, right?” It took Martin a second to realize this absolutely beautiful person was talking to him.

“hmm—Oh! Yes! You must be Jon.” Martin stood, unsure whether he should shake Jon’s hand or hug him or? But Jon solved the problem himself by sitting, and so Martin did as well. “It’s nice to finally meet you…in person, that is,” he added, grinning shyly. “You look lovely, by the way.”

Jon blushed. “Ah, thank you. Y-You too. O-or handsome, whichever you prefer.” He sipped his water and fidgeted with his hands, eyes flicking around the room nervously before coming around to rest on Martin.

Martin shrugged. “A compliment is a compliment, they all work. Speaking of—what pronouns are you feeling today? I remember you saying it varies.”

Jon shook his head slightly. “I’m not going to pitch a fit either way, but ‘he’ is just fine.” It was nice to be asked. The library respected his pronouns, of course, but something about Martin going out of his way to make sure he was on the same page was… It made Jon’s heart thud deep in his chest.

They made small talk about the travel, the weather, Italian food preferences until the waiter came and relieved the tension. Martin felt his shoulders relax after they both ordered; it felt more real somehow.

“So,” Martin asked, sipping his water demurely, a smile tinged on his lips. “Melvin, huh?”

Jon choked on air for a moment. His mouth gaped open and shut again and Martin couldn’t help the grin overtook him. Jon’s embarrassment was sweet; his cheeks flushed and he bowed his head slightly. It was a lovely look on him. “For the record, that’s what I was told by my coworker, Tim.” Jon made air quotes with his fingers. “‘Melvin or something.’ Who was I to question your name?”

“Right, and I’m glad you respect names ‘n’ all. But Melvin?” Martin chuckled to himself, shaking his head. “I’m not the decimal system guy.”

“Nn-mmm,” Jon shook his head, nose wrinkled in a way Martin found particularly cute. “That’s Melville. Melville Dewey.” Jon emphasized, back straightening. “Distinctly different. I’m a librarian, actually.”

“Oh!” Martin blinked. “That makes sense. You work with Melanie, then, I assume?”

Jon grimaced again. “Unfortunately.”

“She’s not that bad!” Martin insisted. “I’ve met her once or twice and she’s been very polite.”

Jon rolled his eyes. “For someone who’s getting a degree in parapsychology, she seems very judgmental.”

“Oh? And what are you studying again?”

“English Lit-hey!”

Martin grinned behind his glass of water. “Just saying, I haven’t met an English Lit student who wasn’t obscenely pretentious.”

Jon faltered for a second and slumped his shoulders in defeat, though his voice still seemed to carry humor, albeit dry. “Unfortunately, I am no exception.”

“Well, I didn’t say I didn’t like it.”

Dinner arrived smoothly, shrimp scampi for Jon and eggplant parmesan for Martin. They ate slowly, chatting more about Jon’s graduate degree, Martin’s affinity for fiction and poetry, and their shared interest in tea.

“So, are you vegetarian?” Jon gestured to the eggplant on Martin’s plate. Martin wobbled his head slightly, not quite a negatory shake of the head.

“It’s complicated. My mother has—had—a sensitive stomach so we didn’t eat meat growing up. I think that turned me off the taste. And there’s something about the texture,” he shuddered. “Weirds me out.”

Jon’s eyes were sharp, boring holes into Martin’s in a way he should have found alarming, but instead found soothing. “Mine, too.” His tone—softer, almost reverent, clued Martin in: he wasn’t talking about being vegetarian.

Martin nodded, and gently placed a hand on Jon’s, the one that hovered near his drinking glass. “I’m sorry.”

They were quiet for a moment, Jon’s hand was small and warm under his, and Martin could feel a thin silver bracelet clinging to his wrist. Martin was amazed by how perfectly his fingers rested over Jon’s, how nice it must feel to hold hands with him on a walk or side by side against the world. Jon cleared his throat suddenly and reached for his glass, gulping down water while staring steadfastly at his plate.

Martin felt his own blush rise through his cheeks and pushed a stray noodle around his plate. “So, here’s a question,” he began, eager to clear the tension. “You said earlier your friend Tim gave you the number to Swirl, right? I don’t know a Tim. So how did he know me?”

Jon frowned, cocking his head. “Technically, I got the number from Tim but that was via Melanie. She said her roommate was friends with…well, friends with you.”

“Mmhmm, that makes sense. I know Georgie from the coffee shop.” He was about to continue when he saw absolutely paralyzed look on Jon’s face. “You…you alright?”

Jon was stock still, pausing the forkful of shrimp that was en route to his mouth. “Sorry, Melanie’s roommate is Georgie?”

Martin nodded slowly. “Yeah, Georgie Barker, that podcaster. She gets her an extra-spicy chai latte from Swirl most days and that’s about the most I know of the relationship. Why, you know her?”

Jon put the fork down, shrimp forgotten, and sighed, running his thumbs along the bridge of his nose, pushing his thin-rimmed glasses up to his eyebrows. “Y-yes, she’s kind of…my ex.”

It was Martin’s turn to freeze. “Sorry?”

“Mmm, yeah, we decided we were better as friends. It was back in Oxford. But I don’t exactly see her often much anymore.” Jon winced at his own words, as if he knew how bad they sounded.

Martin sat back in disbelief, chuckling to himself. “Y’know, she said you were a ‘friend of a friend of a friend.’ D’you think she even knew it was you?”

Jon cocked his head in thought. “I guess not. I mean, I think the whole library staff has been gunning for me to relieve some tension. I wouldn’t be surprised if they’ve been looking for a blind date for me for months now.”

Martin grinned, eyes sparkling. “Well, no matter. It was lucky for me.” Lucky again, was Martin, when he was rewarded with Jon’s warm blush.

----

The bill had been a painful affair, with both Jon and Martin vying for the privilege of paying. Martin struck a deal: he’d pay for the dinner, and Jon would pay for ice cream. Jon knew the differences would widely outweigh when it came to cost but he relented, and the self-satisfied smirk that blossomed over Jon’s face was payment enough.

Martin pointed out the ice cream parlor was a few blocks away and, though it was January, they decided to walk. The fresh snow on the ground glinted against the orange street lamps, and Jon laughed under his breath at the way Martin took great care to step on any unusually large clumps of snow, like he had a personal vendetta. When Jon’s chuckle had made it past the scarf he had wound round his neck and mouth, Martin had glanced over, embarrassed.

“I like the sound of it,” he mumbled, suddenly very meek for a man his stature. It was, regretfully, endearing. Martin was tall, but he was big too, and it was obvious underneath the layer of soft cashmere and chub, there was rigid muscle, and beneath that still, a gentle heart. Jon was struck by him, in more ways he had prepared himself for, and it felt second nature to slide his gloved hand into Martin’s and give it a solid squeeze of acknowledgement.

“Do you think it’s too cold to get ice cream?” Jon asked, watching a cloud of breath float by his lips.

Martin shrugged. “Technically? Yes. But who’s going to tell on us?” Jon swung their entwined hands a little. “Unless…you don’t want to?” Martin added, eyes locking on Jon’s before his head followed.

Jon shook his head. “No, I want to. I believe we have a debt to settle and I have a personal score involving rum raisin.” Martin beamed, clearly pleased, and Jon was certain the snow around him melted right off with the warmth of his smile. Jon leant into Martin’s side a little, and they continued in silence until they reached the ice cream parlor, the entrance to which glowed with pink and white LEDs.

Jon smugly ordered a scoop of rum raisin and was delighted to find Martin “didn’t hate it,” though he insisted his mint chip was better. That was genuinely the best Jon could hope for; not even Georgie in all her unusual tastes enjoyed his rum raisin sensibility. “My grandmother loved it when I was a kid,” he explained between bites, stirring the ice cream with his spoon. “It was the only flavor she kept around the house.”

“Not even vanilla?” Martin gasped in mock disbelief. “Any sensible person would say you’ve been tricked into enjoying it.” Jon chuckled and elbowed Martin mildly.

Jon found himself lingering over the bowl, realizing that the end of their dessert meant an end to the date. Martin seemed to be acting similarly, putting his spoon down between bites and taking more and more thoughtful swallows between their bouts of conversation.

“You-you took the tube here, right?” Jon asked, setting his finally-empty bowl off to the side. At Martin’s confirmation, Jon clenched his fist below the table. “Do you want to walk to the station together?”

Martin’s eyes lit up, nodding eagerly. “I had meant to ask, actually! I wanted to make sure you got there safe.” Jon winced at the blush that overtook his cheeks, though it was easy to blame it on the chill of the ice cream and the frigid night.

The walk to the tube was longer and the pair, heavily sated by pasta and dairy, were quiet, making soft comments about the snow or the odd remaining Christmas decorations, hands clasped tightly and shoulders pressing into the other. The fluorescents of the underground shone brightly, normally a beacon calling travelers home in the night, but to Jon it felt like a dreadful curse. He truly hadn’t expected to enjoy his evening with Martin so much, but they had just clicked. It felt like a shame to let it go.

Swiping their cards, Jon and Martin passed through their respective turnstiles and stood at the bisecting tunnels through which the various lines waited to take them home. They faced each other in silence, hands still interlocked, unsure of how to begin.

“If you’d like to,” Jon murmured, eyes shifting focus to Martin’s curls, plastered to his forehead from the snow; his collar, peeking through his coat; the way the shell of his ear seemed to have a nick missing (was it from a childhood accident? Just the way it was grown?). “I’d like to go out again.”

Martin squeezed Jon’s hand, and Jon’s eyes flitted back to Martin’s own; they were grey-blue and reminded Jon of his childhood sea. “Mmhmm, yeah.” Martin rolled his eyes at his own words and tried again. “Yes, Jon, I’d love that.” Martin moved to hug Jon, a gesture Jon eagerly accepted, relishing the warm arms encircling him and the feel of Martin’s chin resting on the crown of his head. As they pulled away, Martin’s eyes flitted across Jon’s face and the hand around his back moved, cautiously, to rest on the side of Jon’s neck.

“I…I don’t want to presume,” Martin said quietly, and Jon was distinctly aware of how empty, how big, the station was. “Is it okay if I kiss your cheek?”

Jon blinked rapidly, nodding wordlessly, before clearing his throat. “Ah, um, yes. Please.”

Martin’s smile was soft as he pressed his lips to the apex of Jon’s cheekbone, almost into his hairline. Jon was sure the blush that rose across his face this time certainly couldn’t be explained away by the snow, but he honestly wasn’t really sure he cared.

#tma #tma fanfic #the magnus archives #the magnus archives fanfic #fanfic to a tea #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #jmart #jonmartin #georgie barker #rosie zampano #tma rosie #tim stoker #meet cute #blind date au #this is my love letter to TMA #prompt answer #fanfic prompt

161 notes · View notes

mithliya · 2 years ago

Note

[literally have boyfriends]

stuff like this physically hurts me. There’s absolutely no reason to do this. ppl can call me a boot licker or a self hating bi but I just don't like lesbophobia. Lesbians have always let us into their spaces and supported us, I'm talking about the majority lesbian community and organizations not the one lesbian that was mean to you in high school. so when stuff like this happens it's just feels like we're backstabbing them. we’re a big group and when we never call out the lesbophobia from our own it makes us seem like we: don’t care, we support it, or we don’t listen to lesbians. I just don’t get why some of us act like letting this happen won’t ever affect us. It’s also just wrong to do this or never do anything about it. We can blame it on not having a community but that doesn’t stop you from saying homophobia is wrong. Bisexuals during the gay rights movement were even more opressed than most of us today but they still spoke out against it. You can blame it on fake bis and yeah they are homophobic but the bi community isn’t just fake bis.

I relate more with lesbians because I’m like 90% woman attracted. Even though I relate to them more I'd never call myself a lesbian because that isn’t right. Lesbians don't like men that’s it there’s no debate.

Lesbians spaces are the only places were u can escape men, and express ur attraction to women, bi spaces always turn into porny sites or center around men ahem shybi. I don’t know why but even though we’re a bigger demographic we can never create our own spaces and keep them together. A lot of bi women rely on the lesbian community. so if lesbians do decide they’re fed up with us and kick us out bi women are we’re left with bi men who are still men and are sexists and misogynistic, they also tend to be annoying edge lords. Straight people don’t care about us and even at worst hate us. The trans community is well you know. There are the mogais or queers and no thank you. OSA leaning bi women for the most part don’t care about LGB topics because it doesn’t really affect them. So now we have the smaller and much more marginalized SSA leaning bis that are on their own.

It just seems like we’re dead set on ruining our relationship with the only other group of women that understands us. I see all the mspec lesbians, polilez and how so many bi women talk about how lesbians are opressors even though it’s impossible for them to oppress us. If you ever try to call out a lesbophobic bi other bis will jump on you call you a “pick me” and blame lesbians for them being lesbophobic and I just don’t get why some of us are like this. Bi women can cope all you want but we all see lesbians getting tired of this. Being bi is already isolating but if this keeps going on it’s going to get worse.

Sorry for the rambling I just needed to vent to someone.

i agree on not understanding why many bi people don't see how this also can negatively impact bi people. i mean for one, isnt that an example of bi erasure!? i hear the term used a lot by bi ppl when it comes to like fictional lesbian characters who had any kind of past with a man, or women like sappho who some argue is bi because she wrote that shes dating a man with a name thats basically "ActualMan BigDick" or sth, among other arguments... but when it comes to actual bi people, who are saying theyre literally into the opposite sex but have a strong preference for the same sex, its just... radio silence? when frankly thats one of the biggest and most prevalent examples of bi erasure i can think of!

idk anything about shybi so i cant comment on it, but thats unfortunate if bi spaces do often turn into that. i hope that changes one day because i can't imagine such spaces feel welcoming to many bi women.

i do hope one day this lesbophobia will be a thing of the past and that we can truly group together and be allies to each other.. but honestly at this point im quite hopeless on any of it. i cant imagine reaching a solid common ground :/

11 notes · View notes

casually-slips-into-coma · 4 years ago

Text

An Essay (sort of) Explaining the Many Grievances I Have With Debbie Gallagher

Once again, Debbie is the fucking worst.

I’ve been wanting to write out my feelings towards her character for a fucking minute now just so that I have a full concise list. Now, I can talk about how Debbie has a constant need for attention, or how her character has become someone unrecognizable in the past few seasons, or how she’s a terrible mother, but what I really want to focus on is the center of my issues with her: her sexuality. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t about to be a homophobic rant or anything. I just think her queer development has been written terribly and that should be addressed.

Too often I see people praising queer characters or relationships based solely on the fact that they are queer, and as a member of the community, I get it. I am also starved for representation. This, however, does not mean I’m going to settle for annoying, poorly written characters.

Why Make Debbie Queer?

The first thing I want to address is why suddenly develop a WLW storyline for her. Given that Debbie started as a little girl on the show, this gives the writers a lot of opportunity to give a character like that interesting storylines because she does not yet have a solid personality. It gives writers the liberty to take her story anywhere they want to without the constraints of established character because she, as a person, is still developing into adulthood. The show runners unfortunately dropped the ball with this.

From season 4 and onwards was when Debbie began showing interest in dating, sex, and romance having just turned the corner to puberty. From then up until season 9, she has shown exclusive interest in men. It isn’t until Alex the welder that Debbie deviates from this path. Alex is portrayed as a stud who confuses Debbie. I am inclined to believe that Debbie was originally attracted to her because she was masculine and therefore close enough to the people Debbie had previous experience with.

This arc was treated very much as Debbie experimenting with her sexuality, something that Alex also ends up realizing after Debbie tells her that having sex with a girl is “not that bad” and “like having sex with yourself” (S9E4). Once this storyline wrapped up (with Debbie shouting “you make me want cock again”) the writers powered through, adamant about Debbie now being a lesbian.

I have two theories as to why they’ve been fighting so hard for her queerness.

1) This was around the time that Cam was leaving Shameless. This obviously didn’t end up happening, but I was under the impression that the writers were freaking out at losing their token gay character and needed to fill that position. When Cam ended up staying, they were stuck with a queer Debbie storyline and decided to just go with it.

2) Shameless was planning on doing a WLW storyline regardless of Cam’s choice to leave and were originally going to give it to Fiona and her lesbian tenant that she had a close relationship and a lot of chemistry with, but Emmy Rossum wanted to move on from Shameless, and so they pivoted and gave the arc to Debbie, a character that was not supposed to be moved in that direction and so her new sexuality seemingly came out of nowhere. Fiona as a bisexual character would have made sense. Debbie still does not.

Shameless’s Awkward Relationship With Bisexuality

One of the biggest issues I have with Debbie is her insistence on being a lesbian. Lesbianism doesn’t come out of nowhere. Bisexuality, however, can. When you grow up being told that you are supposed to feel attraction to men, and you genuinely do feel attraction to men (which Debbie has expressed in past seasons/episodes) it’s easy to ignore your attraction to women and write it off as something that either isn’t a big deal, or something that isn’t there. It’s a lot more confusing than being strictly at one end of the spectrum. It would have been so much more believable if they had simply made Debbie bisexual. Unsurprisingly, they didn’t because the show has a history with bi erasure.

Bisexuality has been treated badly all throughout Shameless, used as a vengeful plot device back in the earlier seasons where Monica was only ever with women when unmedicated. Then in Season 7 when Ian’s boyfriend Caleb cheated on him with a woman (enforcing the stereotype of bisexuals being unfaithful) Ian, possibly acting out of anger or ignorance, said things like “only women are bisexual. When a man says he’s bisexual he’s really just gay”. The only semi positive bisexual representation on the show was Svetlana and Vee when they were in a poly relationship with Kev (though I also think that storyline wasn’t handled as well as it could’ve been).

This fight against the bisexual label in media is not a new one but it is also a harmful stance to take when writing a sexually fluid character. Debbie declaring that she is, in fact, a lesbian after waxing poetic about how Matty had a big dick and Derek had a great body and knew what he was doing is not the way to go.

You could argue that Debbie, like many other queer women, is an unfortunate victim of compulsory heterosexuality, but frankly I don’t think the writers are well versed enough in queer theory for that to be a possibility.

Debbie as The White Feminist

Debbie is the pinnacle of white feminism. It’s an unfortunate thought that has occurred to me a few times throughout the show. She talks a big game as a man hater and someone after the equal treatment of women but she herself participates in a lot of problematic and anti feminist behavior.

For one, she r*ped Matty back in season 5 when he was blacked out and unconscious. This was a point in the story that was glossed over and one where she suffered no repercussions other than Matty no longer wanting to be around her. It was explained in the show that Debbie didn’t realize what she did was wrong until after she was explicitly told so because she was maybe 14 when it happened (not 100% on the age Shameless is very inconsistent about timelines). It was treated as somewhat of a punchline, something that Shameless has unfortunately done more than once when referring to male sexual assault (Mickey’s r*pe, Liam in season 10 ((i think??)) and in this latest season, Carl) but that is a different topic.

There was also the time in which she lied to her boyfriend about being on birth control so she could trap him into a relationship with pregnancy (which also counts as r*pe!!) Good on Derek for getting out of that.

Debbie has also been pro-life in the past. Now I understand this was when Fiona was pressuring her into aborting her pregnancy, and as a pro choicer myself, I believe that Debbie was fully in her right to have bodily autonomy and go through with the pregnancy. This isn’t where the issue lies. It’s when Fiona finds out that she too is pregnant and tells Debbie that she wants an abortion that Debbie accuses her of “killing her baby”. Again, her behavior could be explained by her age given that Debbie was still a young teen during this time.

When her actions as a White Feminist become less excusable is mostly in the latest season. Her relationship with Sandy is one that I’m not really happy with because Debbie doesn’t deserve her.

Recently, it has been revealed that Sandy is actually married to a man and has a son. It’s explained that she was basically married off against her will at the age of 15 to a man twice her age. This implies that the product of the marriage, her son, was most likely conceived through dubious consent (or worse) at the hands of an adult when she was just a kid. Just because Debbie thinks that Sandy’s husband “seems nice” does not give her the right to try and make a victim of grooming feel bad about not wanting to be with her abuser. While I understand that Sandy’s son has no fault in how he came into the world, I’m still gonna side with Sandy when it comes to having to take care of a child she didn’t want and who is most likely a source of trauma for her. It’s not difficult to sympathize with Sandy and see that she’s clearly gone through something fucked up and Debbie, despite claiming to love and support her, AND despite her dumb white feminist arc about wanting equal pay and all that jazz, turns her back on the girls supporting girls aspect of feminism.

This isn’t even mentioning how shitty it was to just leave Franny by herself and assume that one of her siblings would take her to school and pick her up and stuff as if they don’t all have separate lives. She talks a lot about being a good mother but decided to “let off some steam” by fucking off to a gay bar to get loaded on coke and fuck a gay man (which wtf thats not a thing that really happens with casual coke but whatever I guess). Once she realized she fucked up, instead of taking responsibility she decided to paint herself as the victim as well as spew offensive bullshit about how she “probably has AIDS now” because of her sexual encounter with a gay man. No lesbian in their right fucking mind would ever say that because as members of the LGBTQ+ community, you are at least a tiny bit informed as to how devastating and tragic the AIDS crisis was for queer people.

(I also have an issue with how Debbie capitalized on her felony as a sex offender and her sexuality to start her Hot Lesbian Convict business but I think that’s enough said.)

Blame the writers

The show got almost an entirely new cast of writers after season 7 which is why the show feels more like a sitcom with low stakes and no consequences rather than a drama, but if there is a queer writer on the team it’s not very evident. Even the better half of the queer relationship story, Ian and Mickey, I don’t feel has really been done justice since the change in writers. It’s just become painfully obvious that the actress is a straight girl playing a gay character (not to mention I have never seen any chemistry between her and all of her female love interests). I don’t fault Emma Kenney (the actress) for this. I actually really like her as a person and I like the videos she makes about the cast and such, and I think she does her best with the script she’s given. My complaints with Debbie are targeted entirely towards the writers.

This brings me to my final point. I need them to let Debbie be alone. Her whole thing for the second half of the season has been that she clearly has abandonment issues and is afraid of being alone. It’s why she’s so adamant about keeping the house and fighting with Lip about it (I’m actually on Debbie’s side for that one but that’s besides the point). They had her and Sandy break up which leaves Debbie to spiral further into her loneliness. From a writing point of view, it makes sense to take this opportunity to give her an arc in which she can overcome that and feel comfortable with herself so that she can move on as an adult instead of jumping into a new relationship. This is especially true since this is quite literally the last season ever of the show and any character development needs to be wrapped up. Introducing a new character out of nowhere does not give the viewers enough time to actually get invested in the new relationship. It’s also unfair to Debbie’s character because her arc is going to feel incomplete.

Anyway,,,,,,uuuhhhhh,,,,,feel free to add on if u want lmao

#shameless #debbie gallagher #sandy milkovich #lesbian #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #terrible queer rep

72 notes · View notes