#you don't understand the amount of restraint i'm using

[bitsbug]

hey did you guys know I like specbio? here’s kyliyts!

[restinslices]

If Bi-Han Was A Sub

Let it be known I'm a Virgin. I'm Bisexual and Bi-myself. I get no bitches. Absolutely zero play. So take everything I say with a grain of salt.  No pronouns used. Mentions of sex from behind but that could be a dick or a strap on. Whatever fits your fantasy. And obviously MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. SCHOOL IS IN SESSION. READ A BOOK.

I know the chances of Bi-Han being a sub are pretty low. I get that. I understand why people write him as a Dom… but if he wasn't-

I don't think he would come out and say this is what he wanted. Most likely it just kinda happened? You guys just kept having sex and you noticed he let you take the reins, and you just kept seeing how much you could get away with. 

When you do eventually bring this up he's like "what are you talking about? I'm not a fucking sub". Sir- 

I feel like you'd keep the same position and role, but it wouldn't actually have a label. It'd take awhile for him to actually say he takes the submissive role. 

I also don't think he'd make initiating sex a big deal. Some people try really hard to seduce their partner and I can see him just coming up to you and saying "I want you". 

Having this big man under you and listening to everything you say though? Heavenly. 

That's a fucking lie. Why? He's stubborn and disobedient 

Kuai Liang gives ready to serve, this MF gives off ready to get on your nerves 

What's wild is that he does this shit on purpose. 

This the same guy who keeps reminding Tomas he's an orphan. Trust me, this bitch is petty. Unnecessarily so. 

I feel like he'd do shit to piss you off because A) he's petty. B) he likes seeing you pissed off. And C) he's into punishments. 

We can all tell this man is not fragile. So roughhousing is definitely encouraged and appreciated. Realistically, there's a good chance he's stronger than you and could just flip shit if he wanted, but he doesn't. Honestly though, in my head that would add to the fun for both of you. The fact he could physically stop all this, but chooses not to. 

This concept would especially get milked if he was being punished. 

He would start mouthing off and you'd be like "if you hate this so much, why not stop me? You're strong enough to". He'd have no real response because he had no legitimate reason. 

"You know what I think? I think the Grandmaster is just like every other man; a slut who needs to be put in his place". 

However, if there is something he doesn't like, he has no problem with telling you. You wouldn't have to worry about secretly hurting him or making him feel like shit because he'd let you know immediately if you were taking it too far. Obviously you'd apologize, and he'd just tell you to make sure it didn't happen again. 

Things I'd think he'd be into is impact play, rough sex, dirty talk, restraints, temp play, overstimulation, masochism, and probably some more shit I can't think of. I feel like his kink list is like when someone pulls out a small scroll, then it turns out that bitch is long and hits the floor. I feel like he'd also enjoy humiliation to an extent. He doesn't want to be embarrassed in public, but if you made him beat off in front of a mirror while you watched, he wouldn't be against it. 

Idk why but he really gives me "hit me harder vibes". You'll think you're hitting him hard but then he'd ask you to hit him harder. 

"Harder" probably explains his entire vibe. He pisses you off to make your life harder. He wants you to hit him harder. Be harder on him when he breaks a rule. Fuck him harder. Just be harder. He's not easily breakable. He can handle it. 

I just really feel like he enjoys rough sex from behind. Probably finds that shit relaxing. 

I feel like the punishment he'd absolutely hate would be orgasm denial. One night is already tough but when you won't let him cum for an extended amount of time? Torture. 

He gives off the vibes of someone who wants constant sex, so cutting him off would be hard. I feel like this is the only rule he for sure wouldn't break because he knows you'd just reset the amount of days he can't cum for. 

Aftercare with him would probably be difficult because he wouldn't say what he needed. He's good at telling you when he's uncomfortable with something, but isn't good at saying exactly what he wants when you're done. He's just not used to being pampered and thinks asking you to do things like cuddle with him is embarrassing. 

It's obviously not though, so you make sure to take care of him. 

He appreciates it, even if he won't say he does. 

He makes sure to care for you as well. He's an asshole but he's not that big of an asshole. If you're warm from all the moving, he'd cool you down. He'd probably try to get up to run you a bath and you're like "sit the fuck down". 

Probably enjoys silence afterwards. I don't mean he doesn't wanna hear you or he wants to pretend you don't exist. He just enjoys feeling your presence there and the sound of whatever is outside. 

An afterthought I just had. Bi-Han grunts, Kuai Liang moans loudly, Tomas probably whines. 

I know I should be writing Liar pt 2, and I am. Unfortunately the voices have taken over so this came out first. Might make another part, maybe a short Drabble. Idk. I do know that I will make one of these for Kuai Liang and Tomas.

[riki-riks-chick]

Can you please do Sunno as a whining and scream mess? (Sorry if looks confused, english is not my first language and I'm using Google to translate this 😞)

Scream ┃K.SN

sunoo x reader(fem)

y/n punishing sunoo for flirting w another girl

smut! kissing, gauze masturbation, riding, whining/whimpering, slight dacryphillia, nicknames, slight dirty talk, edging, orgasm denial, unprotected sex, no pull out game, sub sunoo

wdct: 1k

ty for the request 💚

═════════════

Third Person POV~

"Fuck... No more, please..." Sunoo whines, arms pulling against their restraints as he squirmed against you. You were so amused by him. The way he writhes in pleasure everytime you touch him. The way he's begging to cum even though he knows the answer is no. It's so cute.

Your hand is wrapped tightly around Sunoo's cock, lube-soaked gauze wrapped around your hand to make it feel electrifying.

You've probably been edging him for ten minutes now, and every time he gets close, you stop touching him.

"You're such a good boy... So pretty like this.." You tease, rubbing your palm over his cockhead, the material of the gauze making him cry out, eyes glazed over with tears. "Shit, please.. Let me cum, please Y/n..." He's begging yet again, and this time he actually looks so pathetic that it almost hurts you to pull your hand away. "This is a punishment, darling.. You can beg all you want, but we play by my rules. Understand?"

He nods so quickly, tears streaming down his cheeks as he cries out of desperation. You pout, moving to straddle his lap, cupping his chin to tilt his gaze upwards towards yours. "Sunoo, don't cry, my love.. I promise you'll get to cum.. Okay?" You ask as he nods, his pretty pink lips quivering in a way that drove you crazy.

You tug on his hair, leaning in to kiss him as he kisses back eagerly. He deepens the kiss, his tongue sliding effortlessly against yours.

You reach down between yourself and Sunoo to take hold of his aching cock once more. You're stroking him slowly as you continue to press your lips against his. He's whining and whimpering against your lips.

When you finally pull away, pulling your hand off too, he glances up at you through heavy-lidded eyes. "Please.. Fuck me.. I wanna feel you.." He begs, and it's simply too cute to ignore.

"You want me to fuck you?.. Hm?.. Want me to sit on your pretty little cock and make you cum?" He moans from just your words, nodding eagerly. "Yes, please.." You smile at his answer, moving off of him as you untied the silk ties strapping his wrists to the headboard.

You then started to undress your lower half, taking off the miniskirt you were wearing, your underwear following almost immediately after.

Sunoo stares shamelessly, eyes flickering between you and your wetness.

You smiles straddling him once again, and this time he's able to touch you. His hands instantly find their way to your hips, pulling you closer.

"I promise you, if I ever see you flirting with some stupid bitch again... I'll edge you until your dick falls off.." Your words make him whimper, and he nods in understanding.

You then take hold of his length, positioning his tip at your hole as you slowly ease down on him. He lets out the most pitiful whine once you're all the way down, his hands gripping your hips tightly.

You leaned back, arms supporting you from behind as you moved your hips on him, the angle allowing his tip to hit the perfect spot.

"Fuck.." You hold back your moans, wanting to hear more of Sunoo than yourself as you rolled your hips against his.

He's completely enamored by your presence, with his hands finally being free, he's constantly touching you, his hands sliding under your shirt to grope your breasts, fingertips rolling and pinching your nipples.

His own sounds are loud, moaning, whining, and almost crying at the pleasure he feels.

The amount of time you spent edging him has made him so incredibly sensitive, and you riding him right now feels heavenly.

"Y/n... Baby, I need to cum.. Please." He's whining again, voice hoarse and slightly raspy from the constant straining, but you decide that it would be more fun to keep teasing him.

"You don't cum til I say so.." You order and Sunoo's near tears. "Please... I can't hold it in.."

He's holding your hips tighter, his own thrusts allowing him to meet you in the middle everytime you roll your hips down on him.

You slow your movements, pulling him from his impending orgasm as he lets put a strained cry.

"Don't cry, pretty... I promised you would cum.. Remember? Don't I always keep my promises?" You question as he nods, tears staining his cheeks.

Your hips eventually grow tired, so you sit up straight, gripping his shoulders for supporting as you moan against his ear. His hands are pushing your shirt upwards to allow him access to your chest. He's playing with one nipple, sucking on the other, and you can feel each of his moans vibrate through you.

Eventually your own climax is approaching, so you cup Sunoo's cheeks, making him look up at you. "Wanna cum?.. Wanna make a mess of me?" You tease, hips stuttering as you let out a strained moan. Sunoo nods eagerly at your question, still thrusting upwards to meet your grind.

"Cum for me.. Want you to fill me up like a good boy.. Hm?" It's like your words completely drive him over the edge. In an instant he's stilling your hips, holding you tightly against him as he thrusts into you a few more times before spilling inside you.

He paints your insides with his cum, stilling his hips as he moans, feeling totally fucked out.

You go back to moving your own hips, chasing your own orgasm as he moans loudly, feeling overstimulated.

When your orgasm finally hits you, you let out a loud moan, squirming on top of Sunoo as you ride out your orgasm.

Sunoo kisses you afterwards, breathing softly against your lips. "I promise I won't ever talk to another girl again.."

You smile at his words, giving him another short kiss. "Good.."

═════════════

[borninwinter81]

William Blake and Good Omens - an intertextual analysis

Please note: I did another version of this and posted it, but it was quite hurried, way too short, and was incorrect in a number of ways so I deleted it. However it had already been reblogged by the time i did so. If you happen to see another version of this meta that's not the right one, this is the version I'm happy with!

After my previous post re William Blake and Good Omens did so well, and so many people showed an interest I've decided to do a more in depth piece. This is focused upon the TV version of Good Omens, not the book.

Please don't tag Neil in this - although it's mostly textual analysis I do a very small amount of S3 theorising, and I know he doesn't want to see that.

I am in no way suggesting that Neil and Terry specifically wrote Good Omens with Blake in mind, I honestly just wanted an excuse to write more about Blake because I love his work so much, and I thought it would be interesting to try and apply some intertexuality since the works will contain similar themes, both being about God, religion, humanity, and angels and demons.

I also should stress that I am not an expert on Blake, there are people far more qualified to comment on him than I. I'm just a former literature student who loves his work.

There have been many different interpretations of Blake's work over the years, so it's completely fine to disagree with someone else's ideas about it, as with any work of art or literature. And although this piece is likely to be long, I'll barely be able to scratch the surface of all the possible meanings that could be ascribed to it.

Much like the old adage that if someone claims to understand quantum physics they're lying, I'm not sure anyone can truly fathom the full meaning of Blake's philosophy (especially in his later prophetic works, fuuuuuuck those beasts....), so if you're confused by him don't be discouraged, that's perfectly normal!

That being said, I wish to discuss the parallels between Good Omens and The Marriage of Heaven and Hell, my personal favourite and probably the most accessible of his longer works.

"Without contraries is no progression. Attraction and Repulsion, Reason and Energy, Love and Hate, are necessary to Human existence. From these contraries spring what the religious call Good & Evil. Good is the passive that obeys Reason. Evil is the active springing from Energy. Good is Heaven. Evil is Hell."

This excerpt is from near the opening and sets out the central idea of the work - that there is an essential duality to humanity, and each person is a combination of extremes. These extremes are not at war with each other, but rather are equally necessary, hence the "marriage" of the title. "The Marriage of Heaven and Hell" is a metaphor for the human experience.

Consistently throughout The Marriage... Blake refers to the two extremes as Reason and Energy. These terms could be construed in a number of different ways: thought versus emotion, mental versus physical, restraint versus desire, temperance versus excess, caution versus impulsiveness, and following the rules versus free will.

Blake's use of the word "Reason" in this context may be somewhat confusing, however he likely chose it because of his negative feelings towards science and the Age of Enlightenment. Blake saw literal visions of angels and prophets and the divinity of all creation, and hated that science reduced everything to formulas, calculations, and materialism, leaving the world bereft of wonder. "Art is the Tree of Life. Science is the Tree of Death" as he put it.

His ideas about "reason" are best expressed by his painting "Newton". Though inspired by the scientist, it is not a portrait - instead it depicts a figure deeply engrossed in scientific drawings and calculations, totally ignoring the beauty all around him - see below.

In the context of The Marriage... Reason is "passive" because it involves thought, caution, self-restraint, and doing what you are told, all states which block action. Energy is "active" because it is physical, emotional, impulsive and allows you to act based on your own choices and desires. It's quite clear that Blake feels "energy" is the preferable state - he tells us as much in the next section:

"The Voice of the Devil

All Bibles or sacred codes, have been the causes of the following Errors. 1. That Man has two real existing principles Viz: a Body & a Soul. 2. That Energy, call'd Evil, is alone from the Body, & that Reason, call'd Good, is alone from the Soul. 3. That God will torment Man in Eternity for following his Energies. But the following Contraries to these are True. 1. Man has no Body distinct from his Soul; for that call'd Body is a portion of Soul discern'd by the five Senses, the chief inlets of Soul in this age. 2. Energy is the only life and is from the Body and Reason is the bound or outward circumference of Energy. 3. Energy is Eternal Delight."

So the body is an aspect of the soul, not separate from it, Energy comes from the body, it is Reason which places limits upon Energy, but Energy is eternal delight. Physicality, desire, impulsiveness, emotion, sensual pleasure and free will are not wrong or evil, they are aspects of the human soul and it is from them that we derive our enjoyment of life.

This does not necessarily mean that Reason is always bad. After all, Blake tells us that both are necessary for human existence. Sometimes temperance, caution and thought before action are required. But Reason becomes negative when it "usurps its place and governs the unwilling", i.e. when it completely supplants Energy and becomes the sole guiding factor, forcing passivity.

The Angels of The Marriage... are governed by "systematic reasoning", therefore they are wholly creatures of Reason. They are also "all religious" meaning they believe the "errors" stated above. His Devils by contrast "hate religion" meaning they believe the "contraries", which are the true statements according to Blake. It does not necessarily follow that they are wholly governed by Energy, merely that they believe Energy is "eternal delight".

It is worth noting at this point that Blake saw God and religion as totally separate. For Blake, "God" is that connection with divine wonder which was integral to his life; he tells us plainly that "all deities reside in the human breast" and that "the voice of honest indignation is the voice of God". In other words all humans have a direct and intuitive link with God and don't require the church, Priests, or a religious framework and adherence to a set of rules in order to reach moral decisions. These rules exist only to "enslave the vulgar".

The importance of this ability to make one's own choices about a moral course of action is shown by one of the "Memorable Fancy" sections of The Marriage...

Blake relates how a Devil is able to use an Angel's "systematic reasoning" against them:

"if Jesus Christ is the greatest man, you ought to love him in the greatest degree; now hear how he has given his sanction to the law of ten commandments: did he not mock at the sabbath, and so mock the sabbaths God? Murder those who were murder'd because of him? Turn away the law from the woman taken in adultery? Steal the labor of others to support him? Bear false witness when he omitted making a defence before Pilate? Covet when he pray'd for his disciples, and when he bid them shake off the dust of their feet against such as refused to lodge them? I tell you, no virtue can exist without breaking these ten commandments; Jesus was all virtue, and acted from impulse, not from rules."

The Angel has no way to refute the "reasoning" that Jesus was governed by Energy and "impulse", i.e. his own morality, the "voice of righteous indignation", not reasoning and the rules laid down by Heaven. And because Jesus is the Messiah he must be virtuous, therefore Energy is virtuous. The Angel immediately allows himself to be consumed by fire and is resurrected as a Devil.

How can these concepts apply to the world of Good Omens?  This was where my first draft was totally incorrect, as I tried to transfer Blake's ideas about Angels and Demons and Heaven and Hell wholesale, applying "reason" to Aziraphale and Heaven and "energy" to Crowley and Hell.  In fact the divide is slightly different in the GO-verse: Crowley and Aziraphale *both* represent Energy, and it is Heaven and Hell that act according to Reason.

At first glance Aziraphale may appear to toe the line - he needs creative application of the rules to make him comfortable with trying to avert the apocalypse, and when he doesn't like the way matters are being handled by the Archangels he seeks a higher authority and goes straight to God. He'd clearly prefer someone to be confirming the rightness of his actions for him. However this doesn't mean that he won't act on his own.

Immediately upon his introduction to the story he has given away his flaming sword, an action that he took impulsively because he felt it was right, not because someone told him to. It bothers him, but he does it anyway.

In the Job storyline, though he initially looks for some loophole within the rules that will allow him to save Job's children, in the end he directly goes against Heaven to do it, even though he believes he is going to Fall and become a Demon for having done so.

Though he resists it and exhausts all other possible avenues first, he eventually does take an active role in averting the apocalypse in S1.

He hides Jim at great personal risk to himself and against the will of both Heaven and Hell, again because he feels it is the right thing to do.

He is therefore perfectly capable of independent action from a position of "righteous indignation".

On a more basic level, he enjoys worldly pleasures, which all come from "energy" according to Blake's philosophy. Food and drink most obviously, but also books, music, dancing, theatre, art and so on.

Crowley is more easy to place as acting from Energy - in spite of the obvious aesthetic differences between them, he also loves worldly pleasures. Alcohol and coffee, snazzy clothing, driving his car with Queen blaring on the stereo, going to lunch with Aziraphale, Shakespearean comedies. All things he isn't supposed to want or need, and which baffle other Demons, in the same way that Aziraphale's desire for food baffles the Angels.

And he's absolutely willing to act according to his own moral impulses when they conflict with Hell's orders (or Heaven's), be it saving Job's children, ensuring that Elspeth doesn't die by suicide, or averting the apocalypse. Yes, he'll try to hide his "good" actions in order to avoid punishment by Hell, but he's firmly "on his own side".

Conversely, Heaven and Hell are both part of the structure of religion in this story, are strictly adherent to a set of rules, and their inhabitants appear to have no real desires of their own, other than possible advancement within the systems they uphold. They are "passive" in that their functions allow the status quo to continue and the "great plan" to unfold as they believe it is meant to, even though each side expects a different outcome.

Again, applying Blake's philosophy, I would say the reason for this is that "energy is from the body". Crowley and Aziraphale have both been given bodies in order that they can exist on earth, and *have* existed on earth for 6000 years, therefore "energy" - physical pleasures and free thinking - have become a part of who they are.

On a more fundamental level, possession of a body can be equated to humanity, and humanity has been shown as the most powerful force of all in this story, its influence having led to Adam becoming "human incarnate", and thus acting according to what he feels is right, instead of fulfilling the function he was destined for.

Heaven and Hell contain no material objects, and the Angels and Demons are spiritual beings, having no bodies, so they are not open to energy, and therefore are wholly governed by Reason, and the preservation of the religious structures within which they exist. Structures which, as for Blake, may not actually have anything to do with God herself. In S1 she is a distant observer, clearly aware through her narration of all that is going on, but not interceding in any way. In S2 she is barely present save for her voice being heard briefly in Job, and overlaid with Gabriel's on two occasions.

Bearing all this in mind, what predictions can we make regarding S3 by applying Blake's philosophy?

"The ancient tradition that the world will be consumed in fire at the end of six thousand years is true, as I have heard from Hell.

For the cherub with his flaming sword is hereby commanded to leave his guard at [the] tree of life, and when he does, the whole creation will be consumed and appear infinite and holy, whereas it now appears finite and corrupt.

This will come to pass by an improvement of sensual enjoyment."

The parallels of the cherub with his flaming sword, and the passage of 6000 years should be obvious to anyone reading this - they have of course been lifted directly from the Bible as they are in GO.

I have read some metas which speculated that Aziraphale's bookshop, or perhaps Earth itself, is a metaphorical stand-in for Eden or The Tree of Life. Aziraphale has been commanded to leave his "Eden" and will now be instrumental in causing the whole of creation to become infinite and holy, but Blake tells us this will be done by an improvement of sensual enjoyment, which arises from Energy not Reason.

Sensual enjoyment is something which is intrinsic to Aziraphale's character, and this could make his placement in Heaven very important.

Putting aside all the "final fifteen" theories and taking matters at face value, Aziraphale tells us that if he's in charge he can make a difference - he needs to subvert the system from the inside out. The most subversive thing of all could be that a sensualist who acts according to "the voice of moral indignation" and "Energy" has become the supreme Archangel. We have seen in Blake how a realisation that Energy could be virtuous was enough to convert an Angel into a Devil (incidentally, does the image of an Angel being consumed by fire and emerging as a Devil seem familiar at all...)

We may have seen the beginnings of this already. Gabriel and Beelzebub became open to Energy from such little things as visiting earth, spending time in one another's company, and their mutual enjoyment of a song, which has given them wants and desires beyond those dictated by Heaven and Hell. This is enough to make them wish to leave their roles behind.

It's possible that the same may happen with Muriel. They haven't yet imbibed food or drink, but they have shown an enjoyment of books, which are an earthly pleasure, and open the reader up to new ideas and ways of thinking.

Of course, this would lead to questions regarding the Metatron's statement that he has "ingested things", and whether this means he is acting from reason or energy. Of course the simplest explanation is that it is a manipulation tactic, and he is lying about having done so, but if true that statement has some interesting implications. However, this is now super-long and I'm out of juice, so will leave others to speculate. I may return to this in the future!

There we go, hope you enjoyed. I doubt this will reach nearly as many people as my first Blake post, but if a few find it of interest then my work is done!

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Analysing my favourite lines from Six of Crows chapter by chapter: Chapter 3, part 2

Same as usual: famous or popular quotes being missed doesn't mean I don't like them it just means I don't have anything new to say, and some quotes will not have explanations because I just like them I don't really have anything to analyse

"But this wasn't cheap Barrel flash. A squat decked out like this took real money" - The relevance of this quote for me is all in the implication of the phrase "real money" and it's something I've spoken about on here before. When we use the phrase "real money" the general implication behind it is one of absurd riches, not a comparison of 'real' and 'fake' money. However Kaz's use of the phrase is arguably more synonymous with the latter, since we know for a fact that the people who succeed in the Barrel can become massively wealthy - I'm talking about people like Pekka Rollins, possibly even Tante Heleen. The implication of this specific phrasing is therefore more about the perception of wealth in the Barrel being fake because it's new money, not part of the inherited empires of the Merchant Council. Kaz is very aware of this perception and even in the concept of wealth and success sees a considerable disconnect between himself and the Kerch aristocracy, even if their actions are arguably just as criminal, but I think it's really important to note that Pekka Rollins doesn't see this gulf at all. He makes multiple comments in Crooked Kingdom that show him to see himself and Van Eck as equals, whilst Van Eck clearly doesn't return this, even going as far to call Kaz a "trifling piece of Barrel trash", as if they aren't from the same slums and weren't raised fighting for thier lives on the same streets. Although Kaz and Pekka's similarities are vastly important, I think we sometimes forget that their differences are as well - and this is brilliant one.

"hairline making a determined retreat from his forehead" - the Crows commenting on Van Eck's receding hairline is honestly one of my favourite ongoing jokes in these books

"When Kaz met his gaze, the man cleared his throat and pressed his fingers together.

'Mr Brekker. I hope you're not feeling too poorly,' " - sir are you actively trying to act like a supervillain?

"I'm going to pry that fat jewel from its setting and jab the pin right through your mercher neck for chaining me to a chair, Kaz thought. But all he said was: 'Van Eck' " - This is such a wonderfully unhinged quote and I love it so much, remember this is the first chapter we've had from Kaz's perspective and little things that this go such a long way for helping us to understand him! Kaz's thoughts are wild, they're violent and out of control, and often it appears that his actions are too. But he exercises the perfect amount of restraint, remaining to an onlooker frighteningly calm in the face of threat until the most opportune moment. He is in complete control of nearly every situation he finds himself in, even one as unexpected as waking up chained to a chair. In fact we see him remain relatively calm for most of this scene, until a parem-drugged tidemaker is revealed for reasons I went into in the previous part.

" 'You know me then?'

[...]

'I know you," he said, "You're one of those merch crusaders always trying to clean up the Barrel' " - Although it's definitely subtle, I find this to parallel Rollins meeting with Kaz in the Ice Court. Kaz enters the cell and Rollins says his name, prompting Kaz to ask if he knows who is, and Rollins replies "sure, you're that little skiv who's been stealing my customers". This enrages Kaz, because Rollins is failing to recognise everything he did to Kaz and Jordie. When KAz leaves the room he follows up on this by saying "you don't remember me at all, do you?". Rollins replies "Should I?" and Kaz says "Not just yet". This failure to even remember the boys fuels Kaz's hatred for Rollins even more, but I think we should address how similar these response patterns are. Van Eck is looking for a confession, or at the very least something small to confirm his suspicions, that Kaz was the thief who stole his DeKappel oil painting, but Kaz denies him any satisfaction and instead insults him for what is comparatively a far more minor thing to remember him for.

" 'What's the difference between wagering at the Crow Club and speculating on the floor of the Exchange?'

'One is theft and the other is commerce'

'When a man loses his money, he may have trouble telling them apart' " - I am OBSESSED. Leigh Bardugo just summed up the core theme of these novels and the basis of her setting in three sentences that the reader can immediately understand and support, as well as carry with them for the majority of the first novel and all of the second. Genius.

" 'One out of every five vessels you send seeking coffee and jurda and bolts of silk sinks to the bottom of the sea, crashes on the rocks, falls prey to pirates. One out of five crews dead, their bodies lost to foreign waters, food for deep sea fishes. Let's not speak of violence' " - ugh it's just so brilliant

" 'What business?'

It was the question spoken at the opening of any meeting. A greeting from a peer, not a plea from a prisoner" - Kaz is extending himself beyond what Van Eck has tried to confine him to, he's mocking the merch by using the language of business whilst Van Eck uses the language of criminals. This also parallels Inej trying to assert dominance over Dunyasha at Sweet Reef on the high rope in Crooked Kingdom, when she asked 'What business?' then comments that it 'felt absurd to say it 50 feet in the air'.

" 'You were first arrested at 10'

'Everyone remembers his first time' " - this boy is made of audacity and I am living for it

" 'I kill for a cause,'

'And what cause is that?'

'Same as yours, merch. Profit,' " - hell yes

" 'You see every man is a safe, a vault of secrets and longings. Now, there are those who takes the brute's way, but I prefer a gentler approach. The right pressure applied at the right moment, in the right place. It's a delicate thing,'

'Do you always speak in metaphors, Mr Brekker?'

Kaz smiled.

'It's not a metaphor'

He was out of his chair before his chains hit the ground. " - I'm in love

"everything seemed sunnier with a weapon in his hand"

"but not even Grisha could just stroll through a wall" - as someone who read Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom before she read the Grisha trilogy (I didn't know they were sequels, I actually thought Shadow and Bone was a prequel so yeah) little things like this were super helpful to understand the world and learn about Grisha power. i read a lot of high fantasy so when we weren't given explanations for these things I didn't realise it was because I was missing information, but rather I just assumed the writing stye was to throw me in the deep and let me figure it out - which to be fair I had no problem doing, I didn't find the duology at all inaccessible despite my lack of prior knowledge. But therefore I thought of things like this as our introduction to who the grisha were an how they worked, since all I had seen of grisha power at this time was Anya on parem I thought this quote was a clever little phrasing to enhance the worldbuilding and help me as the reader distinguish between natural grisha power and parem-induced grisha power.

"the pistol was more useful, but the cane brought Kaz a relief he didn't care to quantify"

We're now officially halfway through the chapter! This is a long chapter, but it is a brilliant one too. I'm sorry to break this into yet another part, but it takes a long time to put these together and I'm ill at the minute so I'm going to leave this here for now and bring you part three another time - hopefully that should be the last part!! Thank you all so much for reading this, I hope you enjoyed it. I've been thinking about maybe expanding onto another platform like tiktok where I can verbally voice these ideas for you guys and you can ask me questions a bit more easily than on here (I promise I am looking at my inbox, sorry, I know you're waiting) but I only want to do that if there is genuine interest and people would be up for it. It wouldn't stop me posting content on here but a lot of the content would probably include overlap, and I would probably also use that account to talk to you about my own writing - I'm currently in the process of querying agents for the YA fantasy book I wrote and I would love to get it out there a bit and share it with you. Thanks so much, let me know what your favourite quotes from this chapter or other chapters are!

[yanderes-galore]

Could you do your prompts 22, 34, and 41 for Jay (Ninjago)?

Sure! Thank you everyone who helped me put together the plot :) This is another kidnapping aftermath fic.

Here's his yandere concept to have a better idea of how I write him!

Yandere! Jay Walker Prompts 22, 34, 41

"They never loved you. Only I love you."

"No one else understands me except you!"

"I made this mark on myself to show you how much I love you!"

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Reckless/Self-destructive behavior, Obsession, Delusional yandere, Jealousy, Possessive behavior, Only Jay thinks you're in a relationship, Kidnapping, Manipulation, Scar mention, Forced relationship, Intimacy implied near the end.

Love makes some do irrational things. That statement rings true to someone like Jay. Except to him... every action for you is rational.

To Jay no one else matters but you and his love for you. This belief of his makes him perform recklessly. If something makes him look heroic, if you see him as someone who can protect you, it doesn't matter what he goes through.

Every scar he has... every wound on his skin... it's all meant for you. Most of it was actually avoidable danger. Yet he threw himself into it just to impress you.

Jay feels he does so much for you. Who cares if the others think he's lost it! He's happy to do anything for you if it means you'll love him.

... so why do you bother hanging out with the other ninja?

If you love him... why do you listen to them and not him? How come you don't trust him? He loves you more than them....

The idea of you not loving him is too much for his delusions...

So he decides he'll just have to show you how much he cares.

----

Cord digs into your skin, the restraints clearly tied tight enough to leave a rash. You struggle against the chair your body has been sat in. Although your moments freeze when someone skips through the door, a smile on their face.

"There you are, baby! I see you're awake~!" The blue ninja greets in a sing-song tone. His eyes hold a strange form of adoration towards you. Even though he was the one who tied you to a chair far as you know....

You struggle more in your restraints, grunting under your breath while Jay comes closer. He looks giddy as he holds your face in his hands. In fact, his gaze is deranged.

"I felt if I brought you here we could have some more privacy while we talk!" Jay chirps. Where exactly here was is unknown to you. "Your behavior around the others has been worrying to me...."

Your behavior? This was coming from Jay, the one the others have been warning you about. He used to be your friend, all sweet and kind around if not a bit nervous. Now he's literally the one who has kidnapped you.

The others were right about him... he's dangerous.

"I'm starting to think you don't love me..." Jay says in a soft tone, a hint of sadness in his voice. "Please tell me that isn't true...?"

You say nothing and note the slight panic on Jay's face.

"Wait, come on, baby! No one else understands me except you!" Jay pleads, letting of you for just a moment so he can steady himself. "Haven't I proven myself enough? Hang on..."

You evade your gaze then you see him move up his shirt to point to one of his scars. There's a... concerning amount of them. You find yourself feeling bad until you remind yourself of your situation.

"Look! Right here!" Jay jabs at his skin and you find yourself flinching. "I made this mark on myself to show you how much I love you!" He then sees your face and clears his throat. "It happened while I was protecting you... because I love you and I KNOW you love me too!"

Jay appears to be breathing heavier than normal. He studies you uncomfortable face for a moment before making an expression like he just realized something. His gaze grows darker....

"Oh... I get it..." Jay says through gritted teeth. "The others must've told you lies about us, huh?"

You finally find your voice. However, talking to Jay in such an emotional state proves to be a difficult task.

"What lies?"

"That they love you more than me! That I'm trying to hurt you and that you don't actually love me!" Jay snaps, grabbing the back of the chair so both of his arms are by the sides of your head. "Don't tell me you believe that crap!"

You shrink in your seat, feeling Jay's warm breath fan against your face. His gaze never leaves you. Even when he slide downwards to kneel against you, he can't stop looking at you.

"They never loved you. Only I love you." Jay says in a huff, reaching out to gently caress your cheek. You try to pull away from the touch but he holds you still. "That's why I brought you here in private." He smiles, eying your lips. "I wanted to show you how much I care."

"Jay, you're not-"

He leans closer, keeping you both at eye level. You try to turn you head away but Jay only shushes you before whispering in your ear.

"Even if they told you not to love me... I'm sure I can rekindle it between us. Just relax, I'll be gentle for you."

Your heart falls into your gut the moment your lips meet his, your fear muffled by passion.

[hirik0]

Save with you part 3

part 1 | part 2

09 Soap/Ghost, Omegaverse, Alpha Soap, Omega Ghost

Price ends the video call he had with a mated pair, that is in a similar position then he has at his hand. The Omega Chris being just like Ghost a very capable solider, with a lot of solo missions. He looks at his notes, still not understanding everything he was told. The only think he agrees with is that they need to start getting used to the new situation before Ghosts next heat. He still thinks about what the Omega told him, that Ghost should not be treated different then before the incident. When Price ask for clarification because he don't think anyone in the 141 would treat Ghost as less, he got an answer that made his blood boil. According to Chris its not unusual to get treated like a shiny think, something you want to show around, something some Alphas want to own for an ego boost. They will have a lot to communicate to define the boundaries also made sense to him, but the rest? Forget it, maybe it was because they themselves could not really explain it, something about ignoring instincts and adjustment periods. But beeing told they needed 2 years to figure it out, felt disacoruishing and they were only 2 people. At least they offered to observe if thinks don't workout as expected. "This sounds so easy on paper", Price says in the room knowing that Ghost will have to show a lot of vulnerability for the establishment of boundaries and they will fight over every little tiny interaction.

Ghost is out of medical for just short of 20 minutes and he wants to stab the next person that even thinks of talking with him. The amount of young soilders and recruits looking starstruck at him is already to high. They are lucky has no knifes on him, he would use them. Roach walks next to him, clearly having the feeling he needs to scare these people away what annoys Ghost even more. He can do this himself, he understands that it's probably Roachs Alpha instincts causing this behavior, but he's not a fragile Omega. "Roach I appreciate your attempts to be all scary and intimidating but I think I'm better at this, don't you think?", Ghost says after Roach scared away a group of Omega recruits. "I'm sorry, I know this but the instincts are overwriting this knowledge." "Fucking hell Gary", Ghost curses pinching the bridge of his nose if his Sergeant is already struggling like this how bad will Price and Soap be. And Roach really trys not to, but when some Alphas are clearly trying to get in Ghost pants and not taking Ghost no for a answer he growls at them. And they still don't back of and Ghost already non existing patients is snapping. In just 30 seconds the the leader of the Alpha group is pinned down, face pressed in the dirt with maybe a bit more force then necessary. Roach just smiles proudly at seeing how strong Ghost is, before being horrified about his own behaivor. This is Ghost of course he can pin every Alpha down, hell he was pinned down a lot by Ghost over the past 3 years. Price talked with them over this, to not let the Alpha instincts control how they interact with Ghost. He can do this he will not treat his best friend different, he just needs time to get back to normal and hope Ghost has the patience to wait. He needs to talk with Ozone about this, he looked like he understood what Price told them this morning. Ghost is no Omega that needs to be protected he can protect himself just fine, fuck Ghost is saving his ass more time then he ever needed to save Ghosts.

Soap needs all his self-restraint to not tear some of the Alpha recruits apart. All of them drolling over Ghost, trying to flirt with him and emberressing themselves. Ghost is out of medical for 3 weeks and about to be allowed back on missions and he thinks it's for the best of everyone because he has to take away a few of Ghost knifes so they don't end up in a recruit. At the same time he himself is really struggeling with his own instincts. Every part of his brain screaming at him to claim Ghost, so they keep their hands by themselves and not touch whats his and this is the next problem. He sees Ghost as his mate. Ghost very clearly don't want a mate and he will not push this on him, he will respects Ghost wishes. He's pressing his teeth together in rage, forcing his body to stay in place to not interfere Ghost can handel this fine by himself. Later he can punish some of this Alphas for in apropaited behaviour towards a commanding officer. If its so bad Ghost training some recruits how will thinks turn out when Ghost is sent on his first solo mision? He nearly told Price to go fuck himself for putting Ghost on the next team mission. His mind screaming that Ghost needs to be save and protected on base, but thats not how this works. Ghost is one of the most capabel soilders of the 141, he cant just try hide him away on base because hes stupid brain tells him Ghost is his mate. He really needs to talk with this mated pair Price mentioned to him, he struggels so hard with the situation. He also feels how he gets right out jealous of Ozone and Roach who seem to handel everythink a lot better so Ghost natrually just spends at much time with them as possibel. God everythink feels like its going south and he just cant stop it. He really hopes hes not around for Ghost first heats, he would do something he will regarde. Like biting Ghost mating glande the secound he gets the chance to it.

Price surprisingly also struggels harder then he thought, catching himself making up reasons to not send Ghost on missions solo or team. So he put his ego aside and is in a voide call with Chris again. "To be honest Captain it sounds like that you're just now realising that Ghost is in fact a Omega und not a Beta like you all pretended." "I'm very aware that Ghost is a Omega", Price saying clearly angry. "But do you? To my understanding you never meet Simon before Roba. So it was easy for your instincts to not clock him as a Omega till the incident", Chris says a bit condescending. "What's that supposed to mean", Price demands a explanation, his instincts stelling him to put the disrespectful Omega in his place. "Identifying an Alpha or Omega is mainly scent based and if there is no scent you basicly have no prove of the secondary gender other then gene testing. The primal parts of your brain need to smell Omega to know someome is a Omega." Price pinches the bridge of his nose, slowly making sense of what he's beeing told. "So the cave men parts of my brain just now are catching on the fact that Ghost is a Omega something i know for years", Price repeats what he's understanding so far. "Yes, you can say it like this. You see a sick Omega and your protecting insticts are kicking in, you smell a Omega in heat you want to fuck them. Just like a Omega will beg a Alpha to be knoted when in heat, will defend their nest, yada yada." "I think I understand", Price says a bit unsure. "Lets hope you dont need 2 years to figure it out", Chris jokes about his own expirience. "I dont think Ghost has the patients to give us 2 years", Price agrees. "Oh does has one of you time to talk to Captian MacTravish?" "I will ask, but MacTavish has to felxibel with the time." "Perfect, he is handeling all of this the worst."

Ghost was never so fucking happy over a long tidius solo mision in his career, all the Alphas on base are driving him insane. So it will be just him for the next 2 months, hopefully with out any heat incidents. But if the scedule of the Professor is right he has a minimum of 4 months left. He rarely left Roachs site in the last 7 weeks and it is staining their friendship. Roach is very clearly trys to not be a over protectiv Alpha and the incidents where he has to are decraising. But they are both super stressed, Ghost because he loves spending time alone what is now basicly impossible and for Roach because he basicly has to fight his own instincts the hole fucking time. They had some ugly arguments that ende with Ghost having to spend time with Ozone and Archer, what is the only normaly he hasn't lost. Ozone perfectly knowing where the lines are from having a Omega mate on the field for years. Giving him and Roach both time to cool down and breath. One time he and Roach fought so bad he hit in Price office for 4 days till they talked with each other again, Ghost did it so Roach can talk with Ozone. What sucks the most is spending time with Soap. He seeing Soap as a mate at this point, is really testing his own restrains. The amounts of times he wanted to climb in Soaps lap or purr at him is honestly embarresing. The moments he had to claw at the chair to not rub himself all over Soap or trying to scent him is getting higher and higher. Just earlier this day he nearly called him Alpha and he had to bit his lip to stop himself. So some time away, will hopefully reset some parts in his brain and thinks will return to how they where before the incident. When he walks to Price for the last briefing he hears angry shouting. Price and MacTavish are fighting, his mood is sinking the only reason these two would be fighting like this his mission. "Soap, i heard your concern but Ghost is the only one fitting to do this." "What.." "Drop it Soap, it was a risk for 7 years and it was never a problem. You cant keep him around base forever, he dont wants this, it will make him unhappy. And this is my last word on this, let him do his job or leave Soap", Price screaming can be heared over the hole hallway. Ghost heart sinks Price cant really mean that Soap should leave the taskforce can he? He walks in to the office predenting he did not hear the 2 scream at eachother and Price threat. "I still have paperwork to do", Soap says leaving the office fumming. "How much did you hear?", Price ask knowing that Ghost over heared atleast some parts. "Just the end.", Ghost say voice empty, chocking down the question if Price would really kick Soap out the task force. "Im sorry, Simon, its just Soap cant keep behaiving like this towards you.", is all Price says before going back to buisness.

[runawaymun]

🗡️&⚓, if you please!

🗡️ Defend your favorite war criminal (or make them worse - I'm not your mom)

I'm a Maedhros apologist for so many reasons. Chief of which is because I love him. But in all seriousness, while he is a war criminal and he is a mass-murderer, I think out of all the The Sons of Fëanor, he displayed the most restraint and regret.

Like sure the narrative tells us that Maglor deeply regretted his actions explicitly -- but he comes late to that realization after the end of the third kinslaying. Out of all the sons, Maedhros props up my idea that the Oath is something Eldritch and Outside of Them -- a compelling Force (which doesn't absolve them of their actions, but does explain things a lot) the most. He seeks the peaceful, least-violent solutions first, nearly every time.

Maedhros didn't participate in the burning of the ships.

Maedhros repeatedly tries to protect others at risk to himself - taking up the most dangerous/at-conflict lands in Himring, and trying end the conflict with Morgoth with the least bloodshed possible - at risk of his own life by going to treat with Morgoth. Is this his smartest move? No. Is it perhaps his most selfless? IMO yeah. I'm sure he knew he was walking into a trap, but he was offered an opportunity to end things with the least amount of bloodshed and risk to others, so he took it.

Maedhros does a lot of political (and familial) work in healing all the division his father caused over the Silmarils via the Union of Maedhros, but is happy not to be in charge and doesn't seem to need/want recognition. He doesn't have a huge ego. He relinquishes kingship to Fingolfin even though his brothers don't want him to.

The second he felt that his brothers might cause conflicts with others, he moved them out of Hithlum.

Celegorm had to convince Maedhros to attack Doriath. This was after Maedhros attempted to simply ask Dior to hand over the Silmaril - Dior may have inherited the Silmaril from Beren & Luthien, but IMO stolen property, even inherited, is still stolen property. Does this justify the sack of Doriath? No. But I personally do not believe that Dior had any moral right to the Silmaril either. Maedhros was well within his rights to ask for it, and while I understand completely why nobody handed it over, and the Oath may have compelled kinslaying anyway due to the "he who hideth/hoardeth/in hand taketh etc etc" clause -- Maedhros still asked first. and IMO that's a sign of, again -- the fact that he seeks out peaceful solutions first. And it was only after the Oath had awoken and after a great deal of "stirring" from Celegorm that Maedhros agreed to launch an assault.

Maedhros canonically hated what happened to Elured & Elurin. It was done without his knowledge and he also canonically tried to save them.

In a repeat of what happened at Doriath: Maedhros sent messages to Sirion first, and while again -- I don't blame Elwing for withholding the Silmaril because nobody at Sirion had any reason to believe that M&M wouldn't take the Silmaril and kill them anyway (especially after Doriath) -- he still tried. And it was only after they refused to hand it over and the Oath was awoken & in some versions of the tale the Ambarussa urged him that they launched an assault on Sirion.

Maedhros doesn't send anyone else on the fool's errand to try and retrieve the last two Silmarils. He goes alone with Maglor. There is no assault. No battle. He does it in secrecy and kills the least amount of people he possibly can. It really feels to me like the goal was to sate the Oath/save his family from eternal darkness with the least amount of bloodshed possible.

⚓ Pick a Silm ship to go down with. What is compelling about their dynamic?

I'm gonna have to go with Brimbrond, obviously. I love me some Russingon and some Gilrond but I just am clenching Brimbrond in my fists. They're so good. And the tragic end makes it better for me because Elrond's the one Gil-Galad sends to liberate Eregion and he fails. And when you add in the ship background it makes it even worse. Just...the THEMES. THE THEMES.

Elrond and Celebrimbor are both friendship-focused and people-oriented.

If you're a kidnap fam stan then they have a lot of bonding to do over stories of M&M. In my head, Elrond has to deal with a lot of weird/rocky political fallout due to being a "Feanorian fosterling" -- people are mistrustful at first. And he has to deal with his complicated feelings about M&M and like, no actually, he doesn't hate them -- which no one else seems to understand. But Celebrimbor would.

Both have to deal with the crushing weight of family legacy & trying to forge their own path & in a way choose their mother-names over their fathers' legacies. Celebrimbor chooses to go by Telperinquar rather than Curufinwe III. Elrond chooses "Peredhel" over "Earendillion"

Something something echoes of Elrond's attachment to "silver" lovers who meet untimely and horrible ends thanks to Sauron.

there's more here because I could ramble about them for ages but I just really love them together.

silm ask meme

[broccoliboix5peepeeman]

Midoriya-sensei AU

Part 13: Kacchan

Part 12 | Ao3 | Part 14

Look... these past few manga chapters have really fucked with me and some parts of this fic and I'm super mad about it, but alas canon can go fuck itself. Also unreq tdbk lost the poll *sad trombone noise* Anymoo, happy Mido-sensei Monday [is actually tuesday now bc I fell asleep proof-reading] - I hope you enjoy ❤️ TWs for this chapter include: -PTSD -Breakdowns and dissociation -Self-loathing -Accidental injury

'Honey? What time are you going out?'

Upon hearing his mother's question, Izuku removed his headphones and turned to face her.

He was currently cluttering the dining table with his hero analysis notebooks, along with his laptop. Shoto had hired a new sidekick recently—who could adjust the temperature of anything they touched—so naturally, Izuku had spent the morning analysing the quirk in detail. He was heading to Himura Agency soon to visit Shoto, so he wanted to finish up so he could take his notebook with him.

'In about fifteen minutes.' He double-checked the time, confirming his response. 'Why?'

'Do you not want to start getting ready?' She tilted her head to the side with concern. 'I don't want you rushing.'

'I'm nearly done, it's okay.' He assured gently, albeit he could definitely understand where she was coming from. Once he got into his flow state, it was difficult emerging from the other side. 'I'm just gonna finish this page, and then I'll clean up. I've already got my bag ready, and I don't need to get changed.'

He patted his yellow backpack, situated under the table, and smiled. 'Satisfied?'

'Yeah, alright.' She huffed, good-naturedly. 'I just don't want you stressing. I know what you're like. Plus, last time, you rushed out so quickly that I had to clean the table for you.'

'That was one time!' He cried dramatically. 'And I said I was sorry! When will the suffering end?'

'Never.' His mother flashed him a serious expression, before her joking smile resurfaced. 'Anyway, I'm going to the library to return a book for one of my patients. Have fun!'

'You too! If you see Himura-san, tell her I said hi.' Izuku picked up his pen and resumed writing.

'Oh, Todoroki-san's mother?' She paused, stroking her chin, before seemingly realising something. 'Wait, the nice lady with the white hair is their mother? Why didn't you tell me sooner?'

'I assumed you'd figured it out by the fact that Shoto's agency is named after her?' Izuku answered slowly. 'And that she and Fuyumi look really similar.'

'You hush now!' She pouted, walking past him to go put her shoes on. 'I can't believe we could've been sharing embarrassing childhood stories together this whole time. I should go to the library more often. Better make up for lost time.'

'Wait, hang on-'

'Byeee!'

Izuku grumbled as the door shut behind his mother, but didn't dwell on it too much. In truth, he didn't mind what the two women spoke about—he was old enough now where he wasn't affected by people knowing about his All Might obsession, which was his mother's main go-to when it came to embarrassing him—he was just glad they had the opportunity to maybe become friends.

He continued his analysis for another five minutes, before using all of his self-restraint to call it a day and tidy everything away. Once packed up, he grabbed his bag, put on his red shoes, then left the apartment.

It was a decent walk to Himura Agency—around thirty-five minutes—but Izuku wouldn't begrudge a little exercise. The streets weren't particularly busy, a normal amount of bustle for a Sunday, so he weaved through the crowds with relative ease. Once the agency was in his sights, he felt a small smile grace his face, glad of the familiarity.

However, just as he was about to enter, his path was blocked by someone else leaving.

Izuku stepped to the side politely—using the time to quickly type out a message to Shoto, to let him know he was here—but the person continued to shadow over him. He pointedly didn't make eye contact, but frowned at the inconvenience. Why were they standing in the way?

'Deku.'

Instinctively, Izuku flinched so violently that he dropped his phone and jumped a couple of steps backwards.

That voice.

He finally looked up at the person he'd been patiently waiting to pass, only to find spiked blonde hair, familiar red eyes, and an orange and green hero suit that was featured on so many sports brands throughout Japan, he'd have to be living under a rock to miss it.

The hero Dynamight was a household name, after all, but it wasn't him who was addressing Izuku at that moment.

'K-Kach-chan?' The way his voice broke was humiliating, as was the way his body immediately began shaking. For years, he’d been conditioned to react a certain way under the scrutiny of his childhood bully; it made him sick to know their decade apart hadn't changed that in the slightest. ‘W-W-What are you doing here?’

A stupid question. There was a clear reason why the number five hero was just leaving the agency of the number two. ‘Ah, you don’t have to answer that. Of course, it’s obvious why you’re here. In fact, you’re probably wondering what I’m doing here, as that’s certainly more out of the ordinary. It’s just, I didn’t expect to see you as it’s been years and I’ll stop talking now. I’m sorry.’

Kacchan sighed. Izuku closed his eyes with a wince, anticipating a hit. However, it never came.

‘It has been a while.’

Hesitantly, he opened one eye to find Kacchan regarding him with a mixture of emotions; his eyes were squinted in his usual displeased manner, albeit the anger that had typically manifested when they were children was absent. Izuku wasn’t sure whether that made him more or less nervous.

The silence was agonising, yet he kept his lips sealed. He knew better than to start talking and risk suffering Kacchan’s wrath. Wistfully, he hoped Shoto would read his message and come out to meet him before anything could get out of hand.

Kacchan sighed again. ‘I was actually hoping to run into you at some point. I could’ve reached out sooner, but it would've been weird tracking you down.’

Izuku tilted his head to the side.

‘What?’

‘Don’t sound so shocked.’ As soon as he said it, it became evident that Kacchan knew that what he was ordering was unreasonable. He shook his head. ‘Look, we need to talk. Are you free now?’

Izuku’s head thudded and his stomach dropped with anxiety; he could feel adrenaline pulsing through his body. In the past, he'd learnt the hard way that going somewhere alone with Kacchan was never a good idea—not that he'd ever really had much of a choice in their teen years. Now, he was being given a choice, yet it still felt like an illusion: he knew Kacchan well enough to know that “no” wasn’t an option.

‘I’m just about to see Shoto-kun.’ He pointed towards the agency, hoping that an excuse would be met better than an outright rejection. ‘I don’t really want to keep him waiti-’

‘You know Half n Half?’ Kacchan frowned for the briefest of moments, before bending down to pick up Izuku's discarded phone. ‘Doesn’t matter. Look, it won’t take long. Come on.’

Before he could protest further, a large hand grabbed his tricep and guided him past the building and down the side alley. Izuku tried to level his breathing—in, two, three, four, and out, two, three, four—to prevent him hyperventilating and entering a panic attack. He couldn’t show any weakness right now; he had to be brave.

Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. He can’t hurt you, he’s a hero now. He tried to reason, desperately trying to ignore the other voice that reminded him of everything Endeavour had done to his family whilst working as a hero; of everything that had happened when they were children in the name of Kacchan wanting to be a hero.

He yearningly eyed his phone, still grasped in Kacchan’s hand. There was no calling for help. He was stuck.

After they passed some bins, he was finally released. 'That'll do.'

Izuku's back faced the wall, and he stared up at his old bully. He never did grow much taller; he still had the same colour trainers, and a backpack containing hero analysis notebooks. And of course, he was still quirkless, whereas Kacchan still defined himself through his explosions. Sure, he wasn't as over-excited and sadistic as he used to be, and his face had matured, but that didn't change facts.

Izuku was afraid.

It felt reminiscent of their middle school days: backed into a corner with nowhere to run, while Kacchan threatened to use his quirk on him. The only differences now were that they were older and one of them had a hero licence; and while he was hesitant to admit it, Izuku was also a lot stronger than he had been back then. Briefly, he entertained the thought that maybe—maybe—he could take Kacchan in a fight…

If the latter didn't have a quirk at his disposal.

'You wanted to talk?' He prompted, hoping the other would take the hint and explain, instead of just staring at him. 'What is it?'

'I can't just come out and say it!' Kacchan snapped, albeit there was little bite in it. He rubbed his brow. 'I just… Give me a sec.'

Izuku didn't have much of a choice, so he stayed where he was—body poised and ready to bolt at a moment’s notice—as Kacchan gathered his words.

'I did a lot of thinking over the years, about the way I treated you.' He started, slowly. 'I fucked up. I was a piece of shit.'

Izuku said nothing; he frowned, confused.

Where is this going?

Kacchan let out a frustrated groan.

'I realise now—why I did everything that I did. It's just, you were obviously meant to be behind me... but in a lot of ways, it also felt like you were ahead of me too.' Kacchan paused. 'I didn't like it. I didn't want to see you, so I bullied you to get away from you; to feel superior. I was scared… scared of you. Not in a prissy way obviously, but I hated how… stupidly heroic you were. You'd put yourself in stupid situations to try and help people and it made me mad, because it was supposed to be me whose body moved without thinking. I wanted to protect you from yourself, put you back in your place before you went and killed yourself, but I was wrong for what I did.

'I got my way back then, you failed at becoming a hero, yet I failed in my own goal. I wanted to be on top—I still do—but in order to do that, I have to get better. I have to recognise my mistakes and atone.

'So, that being said. Dek- Izuku… I wanted to apologise.' Kacchan hung his head. 'For everything I did to you.'

Izuku's body shook, whilst his heart pounded against his chest—so violent it hurt; his nails dug into his palms from how hard he was clenching his fists. He didn't know what to think—which probably reflected in his dumbfounded expression—it just didn't make sense. All these years, he'd had nothing, then suddenly… this? Kacchan was… sorry?

'Ha. Good one, Kacchan.' He laughed hollowly, then quickly slipped past the blonde with the intention of leaving. If this was some kind of elaborate prank, then he wanted to get a head start before he became the punchline. 'You almost had me. Anyway, nice seeing you, but I really have to go.'

'I mean it.' Kacchan didn't shout, but his voice carried; firm. 'I'm sorry.'

Izuku stilled, throat swelling as he forced his emotions to remain at bay. At first, he wouldn't—couldn't—believe it, but now he was faced with reality: Kacchan was actually apologising.

He wanted to ignore him. He wanted to keep walking. He wanted to forget this ever happened.

He didn't do any of that.

'You're not serious?' Izuku murmured, lips feeling foreign, as he turned around to face him. 'Is this a joke?'

Kacchan met his eyes and growled.

'Do I look like I'm fucking joking?!'

Izuku's arms shot up to protect himself, but the threat never came.

'Shit.' Kacchan at least had the decency to look guilty. 'Calm down, I'm not gonna hit you, and I'm not joking. I mean it.'

Izuku slowly lowered his arms.

He was conflicted. He knew he should be happy with the apology—it should be cathartic and he should admire how much Kacchan had grown. The right thing to do would be to forgive him, but as compassionate as people thought him to be and as much as he tried to be kind, resentment sprouted from the pit of his stomach.

'Why?'

'Why?' Kacchan echoed, sounding physically pained. 'I just told you why! It was a whole speech!'

Izuku's pulse drummed against his temples; his jaw clenched. Distantly, he heard a vibration.

'Cut the bullshit.' The words were out of his mouth before he could comprehend them.

'Hah?!' Kacchan started to exclaim, then caught himself, lowering the volume. 'It's not bullshit.'

'It is. It's all excuses.' Izuku gripped his hair and shook his head, surprised by his own nerve. He wanted to tell his brain to shut up. He wanted to forget this interaction all together—what was he doing? 'If you're s-sorry, then just say it. Don't try to justify it.'

'But I need you to understand why.' Kacchan argued, like it was obvious. 'I was trying to-'

'You've had a long time to think about this, to try and rationalise it.' Izuku interrupted, eye twitching from barely-repressed anxiety. He couldn't get his voice to stop trembling. 'But at the end of the day, Kacchan, y-you bullied me because I was- am quirkless.'

This time, it wasn't him who flinched.

'That's… that's not…'

'Isn't it?' He smiled wobbly. 'It wasn’t because I was useless D-Deku who couldn't fight back?'

His throat closed up, betraying him. 'I was an easy target. You say wanted to protect me from myself? You were my worst nightmare, and we both know that if I had a quirk, you wouldn't have done what you did.'

He had so many scars, so much mental baggage that he was still unravelling with his therapist after several years. He might not look after himself as well as he should sometimes, but that was irrelevant right now; it was always the same insults being thrown at him.

Useless, quirkless Deku.

'You d-don't need to pretend you did it with honourable intentions.' He shook his head slowly. 'If you genuinely regret what you did, just tell me. I might not have much self-preservation… but I don't think I deserve excuses.'

He bit his lip, waiting for a reaction. Initially, Kacchan remained silent, staring at him. Izuku wasn't sure if he was thinking of a response or waiting for something. Again, he could hear an indiscernible vibration.

'Okay.' Kacchan finally responded. 'No excuses… I- I'm sorry.'

A beat passed, then another. Izuku wanted to feel something, yet his mind—despite the adrenaline going through his body—felt numb.

'I accept your apology.' He forced his mouth to move, keeping his resolve. 'Th-'

'Midoriya?'

His head whipped around so fast his neck clicked. Shoto was walking towards them, slightly rushed and phone in hand. The first aid supplies on his belt clicked together from the momentum, as did his boots against the concrete.

When he came to a stop in front of Izuku, those dichromatic eyes scanned him carefully. 'Are you okay?'

He nodded, not trusting this voice.

Shoto's shoulders slumped with relief, then looked past Izuku to see who he was with. His eyes immediately narrowed. 'Bakugou? What are you doing here?'

Kacchan scoffed.

'Dek- u- Izuku and I were just having a private conversation.' He answered brashly. 'None of your fucking business, Half n Half.'

Shoto stepped past Izuku, putting himself between him and the blonde. It was almost a defensive shield, which he had to admit, he was grateful for.

'Then why have you got Midoriya's phone?'

Izuku's eyes widened—the vibration sound he had been hearing on and off—Shoto had been ringing him this entire time?

'Because he dropped it.' Kacchan stepped forward, holding out the device, which Izuku hesitantly took. 'Fuck off with the interrogation, Todoroki. I thought you hated cops, so stop sounding like one.'

'I don't need to be a pig to worry about my friend.' Shoto quipped, before switching his gaze to Izuku. 'Midoriya, are you ready to go or should I give you another few minutes?'

The idea of spending another few minutes alone with Kacchan was enough to make him feel nauseous, but he also didn’t want to convey that in his answer.

Don’t cry. Be brave. Don’t show them how weak you are.

‘Yeah, I’m ready now.’ He spoke quietly. ‘We’re done now, right, Kacchan?’

Crimson eyes regarded him carefully, before he waved his hand dismissively.

‘Whatever. I’ve said everything I needed to say anyway. I’m going home.’ Kacchan strode past them, towards the main street. However, before he could disappear completely, he called back. 'I've changed, Izuku. I won't ask you to believe me, but just… watch me, and I'll prove it to you.'

Izuku didn't reply, other than a slight nod of acknowledgement, and Kacchan made his exit with a grunt. Now that they were left alone, he felt a new sense of numbness wash over him; his eyes glazed over; his muscles refused to move.

Panic consumed him briefly. He didn't know what was happening. He didn't feel in control of his own body, yet instead of fighting it, all he could do was succumb to the way his senses slowly shut down. His mind soon followed after, rescinding the last of his perceived independent thoughts.

Powerless. Useless Deku. Weak-

‘Are you sure you’re alright?’ Shoto was in front of him again, but Izuku couldn’t focus. It took several seconds of silence before his friend cursed. ‘Shit, okay. Let’s get you up to my office… Can you still hear me?'

He couldn’t speak, but he did manage a slight nod.

'That's good. Okay, one more question: are you comfortable with me carrying you?’

Izuku nodded again, eyes falling shut of their own accord. He wasn't sure why he was acting this way—his episodes usually manifested into hyperactivity—but he couldn't even begin to analyse his behaviour right now. All he could do was focus on Shoto's body as the hero guided him into a piggyback and lifted him up with a slight grunt.

His arms rested on Shoto’s shoulders, while the strong hands under his legs held him up. Izuku's chest pressed against his friend's back—he tried to concentrate on the temperature contrast, which manifested into him resting his forehead against the left crook of Shoto's neck.

The warmth felt safe.

Had he not been stuck in his head, Izuku would have definitely panicked over their proximity. Instead, his body welcomed the touch with open arms; it was grounding. It also helped that Shoto didn't stiffen or reject him. He encouraged Izuku.

'I won't drop you, but try to hold on.' He murmured gently. 'Ready?'

When Izuku nodded, Shoto bent his knees, then jumped into the air, using fire from his left foot to send them higher. It didn't take long before they landed on the agency balcony, and Shoto slid open the door to his office.

Izuku kept his face firmly pressed against his friend's neck, until he was gently coaxed to sit down on the tatami floor and shed his backpack from his shoulders. He felt significantly lighter without it—his body had gotten used to the weight—but he didn't let the uncanny feeling linger for long, before he returned to nothing.

'I'm still here.' Shoto assured him gently. 'Just give me one second.'

The world was bright when Izuku tried opening his eyes in response, and he winced. Before he could squeeze them shut and resign himself to darkness again, Shoto pulled the hanging curtain framing the balcony door half-shut, bathing them in a dimmer, manageable light.

Izuku exhaled—the closest he could come to conveying his thanks—then watched as Shoto moved around the room, looking in drawers, on shelves and even Izuku's own backpack. Eventually, when his friend approached him once more and knelt in front of him, his arms were full.

'I've got some things that I know help me when I have a catatonic breakdown.' He shuffled slightly. 'I know this probably isn't the same, but yeah. And I know it's rude, but I also got some stuff from your bag because you've mentioned before that you have comfort items in there. Try to let me know if you're uncomfortable with anything.'

Shoto waited a moment, before taking two large pillows, placing them behind Izuku and switching on a remote, which made them start vibrating softly—like a purring cat. He then picked up a fluffy cream blanket and wrapped it around Izuku's body like a cape, making sure to cover most of his front too.

Izuku found himself leaning back against the materials, which cushioned the wall behind him, as Shoto started playing rain sounds from a portable speaker. He then handed Izuku his favourite All Might-themed stress ball that he always carried with him.

It was practically a reflex, the way his hand closed around it and started squeezing.

‘Th-Thanks.’ He spoke, matching each syllable with his wrist movements. It wasn’t much, but it was progress. ‘Helps.’

‘I’m glad.’ His friend replied. ‘Do you want to stay like this for a while, or do you want to try some grounding exercises?’

Izuku was aware enough to recognise that he wanted to escape this feeling as quickly as he could, but realistically, he knew that he needed a little longer.

‘F-few minutes.’

‘Okay.’ Shoto slowly got to his feet. ‘I’ll just be at my desk doing some paperwork. I'm not on-call, so take as much time as you need… unless there's suddenly a national emergency.’

On a normal day, Izuku would've laughed.

For the next half an hour, the office was quiet, if not for Shoto's fingers on the keyboard and the tropical storm playing from the speakers. Izuku, for the most part, clung onto the mindlessness—not wanting to acknowledge what had happened nor what was currently happening—but soon, his internal monologue started to resurface; it never liked being quiet for long.

He supposed he'd have to face everything sooner or later.

‘Shoto?’

His friend looked up from his computer, then locked the screen and approached him once more. He sat down in front of Izuku, crossing his legs and tucking his hair behind his ears.

‘You ready to do some grounding exercises?’ He waited for Izuku’s nod, before continuing. ‘Okay, you probably know this one, but can you tell me five things you can see?’

He did know this exercise—he’d applied it to both himself and his students in the past—so the familiarity was comforting.

‘Y-you.’ He started with the obvious. ‘Bookcase… bonsai tree… computer… charred table.’

‘Good job, but don’t worry about the chabudai.’ Shoto’s cheeks darkened slightly. ‘Four things you can feel?’

Izuku had always been sensitive to touch, despite what his high pain tolerance might've implied, so he felt more confident with this one.

‘Stress ball, blanket, pillows… tatami.’

‘That was a lot quicker.’ Shoto furrowed his brow. ‘It’s good touch, right?’

‘Yeah.’ The corner of Izuku's lips quirked up for a moment in an attempt to be reassuring. 'Thank you.'

His friend nodded his head in acknowledgement.

'Three things you can hear?'

'Your voice.' He began, without giving it much thought. 'The rain noises… and my own voice.'

He was slowly starting to feel more like himself—his movements became fluid as he squeezed the stress ball, and his eyes were more focused than they had been. It wasn’t like being trapped in a bubble, it was more like a viscous liquid had been clouding his surroundings and was finally starting to evaporate.

'Two things you can smell?'

'Peppermint.' Courtesy of the teapot next to him. 'And you. The room smells like you.'

He desperately wished his filter would return before he could embarrass himself further. Luckily, Shoto didn’t seem to mind the comment.

‘That makes sense. After all, I’m the only one who works in this room.’ He paused for a few beats. 'Okay, last one: one thing you can taste? Don't worry if you can't think of anything. You've done really well.'

Usually, when Izuku was the one asking, he skipped that final sense. After all, most people would just reply with a confused “the inside of my mouth?”, but he supposed it was worth acknowledging.

'I…’ He paused as his taste buds identified iron. ‘I can… I can taste blood?'

Ignoring Shoto’s concerned look, Izuku poked his tongue around his mouth, until he found a freshly bitten wound. 'I must've started chewing the inside of my cheek at some point without realising… It happens a lot, I just don't usually register what I'm doing till after the damage is done, but it's nothing to worry about.'

His friend’s worry didn’t seem to dissipate upon hearing that, but after a few moments, he ultimately decided to let the issue slide.

‘That’s a conversation for another day.’ Izuku wasn’t sure which of them Shoto was promising that to. 'At least you're more vocal now. How do you feel?'

That was a loaded question. How was Izuku supposed to begin answering that?

Shoto seemed to read his thoughts. ‘That was a bad question. I’ll be more specific, what’s the first thing that comes to mind when I ask, “how do you feel”?’

‘Shit.’ Izuku snorted without mirth. However, that seemed to be the gateway for an elaboration. ‘I’ve never reacted this way before. It’s always been more erratic, not… yeah. I hated it. I couldn’t control my body.’

‘I can understand that.’ Shoto was earnest. ‘The first time it happened to me was during a training session with Endeavour when I was a child. The stress was too much, so my body shut down… only okaasan could get me out of it, but it took hours. I barely remember it, only that I was scared.’

‘That sounds awful.’ Izuku lowered his eyes.

‘Yeah, but my point isn’t to gain your sympathy, it’s to show that you’re not alone.’ Shoto paused. ‘You can talk to me… about anything.’

Izuku gnawed the inside of his cheek, before forcing himself to stop damaging the already wounded area.

He trusted Shoto—he really did—but he didn’t deserve to listen to Izuku’s turmoil; his friend had gone through so much worse that his own struggles paled in comparison. However, he remembered some of their earlier conversations, and how Shoto never flinched when he’d explained his failed dream of becoming a hero. He thought about all the times his friend had been open with him and accommodating when he spoke.

Izuku trusted Shoto… so maybe he should trust that he knew what he was signing up for.

‘I just… seeing him again after so long and with no warning.’ He began, trying to piece his words together. ‘I told myself to just get through the interaction, but I didn’t expect to spiral like this.’

‘I should’ve told you he was at the agency.’ Shoto pursed his lips, guilty. ‘It wasn’t scheduled in or anything, but when he showed up, I should’ve messaged you.’

‘It’s not your responsibility—you didn’t know I’d react that way. Plus, if I’m your friend then I guess I should’ve been prepared to run into him at some point.’ Izuku was quick to argue, but when he took a breath, he couldn’t help but sigh. ‘As you’re probably aware, we weren’t exactly best friends… Well, we used to be, before his quirk came in and I was diagnosed as quirkless.’

Shoto nodded deliberately, prompting Izuku to continue.

‘I used to follow him around a lot—he was familiar, and I didn’t really understand that I wasn’t wanted anymore—and soon, Kacchan started to make it more obvious that he didn’t want me around. He had a lot more friends—ones with cool quirks that would obey him—and I was… pushed around a lot.'

He intentionally omitted the specific details: verbal taunts and physical attacks. He didn't want to incriminate Kacchan more than he already had. After all, it was in the past now.

Izuku pressed his palms to his eyes. 'I just… I admired him so much—he had a great quirk and the bravery of a hero, and we both loved All Might—but… but I hated him.'

His voice turned into a whisper. 'I really did, and that somehow made everything worse because I really tried not to. Heroes aren’t meant to hate people… But I kept trying to placate him, hoping that he’d leave me be, but when it came to applying for high schools, I just couldn't simply make him happy.’

'He told you not to apply for UA, right?' Shoto asked, albeit it was obvious he knew the answer.

'Yeah.' Izuku replied anyway. 'Things got unbearable when I refused. The things he'd say, the things he'd do.' He swallowed thickly. 'It doesn't matter. When he got into UA and I didn't, that was it. Everyone laughed at me, because I never stood a chance in the first place. After we graduated, I never saw him again… until today.'

Ten years…

It had been so long, and as much as he tried to forget, he couldn't. He still had nightmares; he still flinched at loud, sharp noises; he still struggled with his self-worth.

He still had the scars.

His throat prickled, but he persevered, pulling back and staring at his hands instead of Shoto; he couldn’t bear to see his reaction just yet. 'He took me down that alley—I didn't want to, but I felt like I didn't have a choice—and I thought he was going to hurt me; follow through with one of his old threats- I shouldn't say that.'

He sighed, frustrated at himself. 'Anyway, instead… he apologised to me. Actually apologised. Like, it wasn’t a joke! I should've been happy. I should've forgiven him.'

Izuku dared not continue that sentence. Admitting it out loud would just solidify that he was a bad person.

'But you couldn't forgive him.'

Izuku broke.

For the first time today, tears built up, breaking the surface tension and running down his face without restraint. An accompanying sob escaped his lips and Izuku finally allowed himself to cry. It wasn’t loud or dramatic, like his reputation implied: he brought his knees up to his chest and buried his head in his arms to muffle his already quiet sounds—just like when he was little and tried not to draw attention to himself.

Part of his mind was screaming that even this was too much; he couldn't cry like this in front of anyone, not alone Todoroki Shoto. What would he think of him? How could Izuku show just how weak and pathetic he really was?

Yet those thoughts only led to more tears; more baggage to throw onto the already crushing pile.

He held his breath then, trying desperately to quell the crying, but it was futile. He only succeeded in making himself lightheaded and congested. His nose started to run and saliva built up in his mouth.

'I don't know how best to help you.' His friend admitted, just loud enough to be heard over Izuku's own thoughts. 'But I do know that it's okay to cry. I'm not judging you.'

How was he supposed to respond to that? Shoto was so kind; so understanding. He wasn't disgusted or disdainful.

But he should be….

'Would you-' Shoto hesitated. '-erm, like a hug… or something?'

Izuku's eyes immediately shot up to stare at him, exposing his gross face in all its glory.

'W-w-what?'

Shoto didn't seem put off by the snot and tears, albeit he did rub the back of his neck awkwardly.

'A hug, would you like one?' He clarified, confirming that Izuku had indeed heard him correctly. 'It's just… I'm not good with words, but I know physical contact can help alleviate pain. So I thought I'd offer.'

If this were a typical day, Izuku would turn bright red, stutter so much that he couldn't get his words out, and probably overthink to the point of exhaustion. However, this wasn't a typical day; while his face was blotchy and his mind was both overthinking and exhausted, he couldn't fathom his awkward crush right now.

In front of him was his friend—whom he adored in a way so unique—offering comfort, and Izuku was starving.

'Please.' He whispered, blinking as more tears stained his cheeks. He then wrapped his arms around his thighs and rested his forehead against his knees.

He could hear Shoto shuffle closer until they were side-by-side. After a moment, he shifted the blanket to accommodate them both, and slowly wrapped his arms around Izuku; one hand splayed out across his back, while the other reached around the front to cup the side of Izuku's head. Shoto then gently guided him to lean against his chest.

Izuku's entire body moved with him, putting all his weight against his friend, who willingly shouldered the burden with ease. In fact, he even rested his cheek atop his curls.

The relief was instantaneous: his body relaxed—basking in the positive touch—and a fresh sob escaped his lips. Shoto rubbed his shoulder with encouragement; repetitive, but soothing.

Izuku wasn't sure how much time they spent that way—quiet if not for his muffled sniffling—before his friend spoke again.

'I won't pretend to know what you've been through.' He murmured, each word careful. 'So feel free to tell me to fuck off, but I think, if you can't forgive him now, that's okay.'

Reactively, Izuku opened his mouth to counter, albeit Shoto beat him to it.

'And if you can't forgive him in a few months, a few years or never, that's okay too.'

Izuku's words died on his tongue and he swallowed heavily. It was like the entire concept was new: he never even considered a scenario where it was acceptable not to forgive Kacchan. After all, it was what the world preached—forgiveness was part of being a hero.

A sudden thought emerged.

'Have you forgiven Endeavour for everything?' He asked quietly. 'Not that you need to tell me.'

Shoto didn't answer straight away, contemplating the question first.

'No.' While the answer was firm, his tone sounded thoughtful. ‘And that’s okay too. It doesn't make me less of a hero.’

‘You don’t think you’re a bad person because of it?’ Izuku’s eyes widened, and he shook his head, almost jumping out of Shoto’s hold. ‘Not that I’m implying that you’re a bad person! You’re a very kind person and I think you’re amazing! Just… that was a pointless question.’

Shoto blinked once, lowering his arms.

‘He’s changed, which I accept and welcome, and we've moved on, but that doesn’t erase the past and the damage he's caused. I’ve forgiven myself, and that's enough for me.’ He scratched his cheek. ‘So, no. I don’t think I’m bad.’

Izuku nodded slowly. It made perfect sense—it was similar to his situation Kacchan—but convincing himself and rationalising his thoughts was still arduous.

‘I think I understand.’ He wiped away his tears, feeling more at ease. ‘Sorry for being like this.’

‘You have nothing to apologise for.’ Shoto was adamant; unyielding. ‘I’m just glad I could help.’

His small smile ignited a fresh wave of emotion through Izuku—his usual flustered affection for Shoto returning in full force. Mentally, he kicked himself for pulling out of their hug sooner than necessary.

‘Y-you did. Thank you.’ He flashed his own wobbly smile. ‘You’re…’

Perfect, amazing, I think I’m fall-

‘A great friend.’ He finished, admiring Shoto’s reddening ears.

‘You too, Midoriya.’

Falling...

🔥🔥🔥

Me [1740]: Just fyi next time I see you I am going to personally ram my foot so far up your arse you’re shitting icicles for weeks

Bastard Gremlin [1742]: Fuck off Icyhot

Me [1743]: Like I knew you were an asshole but really?

Bastard Gremlin [1749]: Deku told you everything then

Me [1751]: Left out some finer details but yh

Me [1751]: Enough for me to piece together the rest

Bastard Gremlin [1752]: Why do you even care?

Bastard Gremlin [1752]: How do you even know him?

Me [1753]: He's my friend. That's all you need to know, so dont bother replying.

Shoto stared at the screen a moment longer. In truth, he wanted to say more, maybe even follow through with his initial message, but Midoriya would get upset, so Shoto reluctantly put his phone away. However, as soon as it was secured in his pocket, it buzzed again. Rolling his eyes, he took out the device, expecting a snarky retort.

Instead, he was met with a pleasant surprise.

Midoriya 🙏🔥 [1754]: Thank you for today, really

Me [1755]: You don't have to keep thanking me

Midoriya 🙏🔥 [1756]: I know but I want to

Shoto's lips twitched with fond amusement.

'Texting Midoriya again?' Fuyumi commented dryly, not even looking up from the homework she was marking next to him. 'You're both insufferable.'

'You started it.'

Me [1758]: You can thank me by relaxing and going to bed at a normal time tonight

Midoriya 🙏🔥 [1759]: I take it all back I hate u

Me [1759]: You love me 😇

Shoto paused then, cheeks heating up as he stared at his message. Why was he suddenly so warm? Why did anxiety pool in his stomach after he sent that message? Why was he getting more nervous the longer it took for a reply to come through?

He was just making friendly banter, like his old classmates taught him, yet it felt more significant when he was saying it to Midoriya.

Midoriya 🙏🔥 [1802]: I guesssssss 🙄

Shoto immediately felt himself relax; his stomach fluttering in a way that had started to become a common occurrence around his friend. He wasn’t sure if it was a bi-product of his quirk, now that he was using his fire more often, but it was strange that it was only when Midoriya was around.

Midoriya 🙏🔥 [1804]: Hey, I thought Id ask,you don’t have to or anything, but the HQA information session at the school is on tues and I was wondering, if you’re free, it’d be good to see you there? Even if you wore a disguise or something. Totally okay if not though!

Shoto tilted his head to the side, processing the message. He and Fuyumi had spoken about the session a lot over the past few weeks, but they'd given no indication that they wanted him there—why the change of heart?

'Fuyu-nee, Midoriya's inviting me to the HQA session.' He told his sister, not really sure what he was expecting her to say. 'Should I go?'

'I mean, you can if you want.' Fuyumi shrugged, albeit not dismissively. 'Whether it's supporting him or advocating your own knowledge, it might help. I certainly have no problem with it.'

Shoto nodded slowly in thanks, then turned back to his phone. He supposed in asking his sister, he was really just looking for validation, because of course, if Midoriya was inviting him to something, then he'd happily accept; he was just glad Fuyumi thought he was making the right choice.

Me [1807]: I'll be there :)

[weebsinstash]

sorry if weird question but as a lil innocent bby I never smoked weed or did any drugs and I was wondering how did you start? where did you even source it in the first place, did you just happen to know a guy who had it or is there a secret store? spill the tea for us innocent bbys pls 🙏

Not a weird question, i can understand being curious and I do mention weed in my prompts every so often

Well first and foremost I wanna be a responsible 26 yo adult and say that, really, anything can be addictive. A lot of people don't realize addiction issues can even be genetically inherited, like it isnt JUST a battle of willpower, you can be biologically wired to get addicted to stuff easier, so weed definitely isn't as harmless as some people make it out to be if you already have a predisposition for bad impulse control. There have been studies, some pretty damning, suggesting smoking raises your risk of dementia, and of course there is COPD and weed can also negatively effect your stomach, as well as making you agitated. Different strains and THC/CBD percentages in weed can really change your high, too. There has been bud that gets me really giggly and happy and other kinds that made me HELLA paranoid and kind of strung out, so, it's not always a pleasant experience. It can also totally be your biology too, I knew a guy once who couldn't smoke at all because it would make him borderline hallucinate and it was extremely stressful for him

Like really to be blatantly honest with you, I'm a daily user to the point where I can have significant amounts and won't feel as "psychedelic" as I used to. Like you definitely build a tolerance after a while, but you can take a break for a while and it'll come back. But you can definitely fall into a trap where you smoke too much "trying to feel as high as you used to", chasing the memory of the fun feeling, and it just makes you tired and then you sleep and it's wasted, whereas for example when I went to watch Spiderverse in theaters, I stayed clean for a few days, just like 4 or 5, and when I smoked again it felt aweeeesome 😩❤️ like definitely, personal restraint can mean EVERYTHING with weed, for your tolerance, for your munchies, for how much you spend, you gotta find your limits and stick with em I guess

It's definitely sort of a time and place thing. I started smoking on my 17th birthday when my sister got me into it, and she was introduced to it by a boyfriend. It really does feel like it can be a matter of where you live or knowing the right person. For example one time after my mom and I had moved, we didn't have a hookup and we smelled weed on one of the mover's jackets and asked him in a really chill way if he knew where to get a hookup (it was him lmao, he was a dealer)

But anyways, it really depends on your state or country, but even if selling outright bud and flower isn't legal, sometimes selling THC products is. Like for example I'm in Minnesota and we have it medically legal (we're actually in the middle of implementing it being legalized recreationally) and I couldn't go to a smoke shop and buy bud yet, but I CAN buy synthetic weed and thc gummies. Also really cannot stress enough that you should really never touch synthetic drugs for anything; fake weed/spice has been proven to be especially bad, like, do not cheap out thinking you'll be safer with synthetic, it is arguably significantly more dangerous than the normal stuff.

Really cannot stress enough that this is a "check your local legislature before doing this" thing, but for example these are a brand of THC gummies that I bought in a smoke shop and can personally vouch for being able to get you high (thc is the high ingredient, CBD is the medical pain relieving ingredient) and they say you can purchase them online. I really am not sure where the law stands sometimes because it's like "oh we won't let you buy weed but we'll let you buy this processed product that contains the literal ingredient in weed that gets you high". Like for example that brand is Torch and when you go to their website they're also selling THC cartridges but they're also based in California so, do they only ship in California, is it safe country wide, you really have to do your own research for where you personally are

I would say maybe avoid ordering online because I just personally think that's a big risk unless you have confirmation it's ok where you're at. If you wanted me to give you my advice, I think a "surefire" way to find a hookup is to just go to a smokeshop and start up a conversation with someone. It can literally go "oh hey what do you buy that for?" "Oh I use it for pain, I don't like smoking weed and these gummies work good" "you know, if you think bud is too harsh on your throat, I got an edible guy--" like not even joking me and my mom went to buy screens the other week and we talked to this really nice girl for like over an hour and got her number cause she had all kinds of hookups and shes the one who recommended those gummies. A lot of dealers are selling weed as a side hustle and every customer they can get is good. It's good to have a plug you're loyal with but having options can be good in case anyone becomes unreliable or falls through or you find someone who sells for cheaper.

There are also multiple ways to, you know, do the deed. There's regular bud, which typically has to be ground up or cut up, and you can roll that into a blunt or use glass, which is my personal preference, I own some glass pipes and a bong, and I should mention I use smoking screens to avoid getting ash in my mouth but deadass, the vapors coming off of lighting that metal are probably Mucho No Bueno for my lungs so I've just been rawdoggin it, and there are also pens, like thc and cbd oil, and my recent method of preference is using an edabber pen and doing wax, which is a concentrate, although you can also do dabs with a glass rig and a butane torch but I got a thing against open flame haha

I think smoking weed is probably definitely less harmful than alcohol but it's probably a case by case thing as well as purely perspective. It can be fun as hell but you definitely have to watch yourself, and also, like, munchies can be fun, but it shouldn't be undersold how powerful munchies can be. I've literally eaten myself sick before. Eating becomes an activity in of itself and you'll have a full stomach and go "well I just ate something salty, now I want a sweet"

Anyways long answer is long but, yeah, my biggest piece of advice is, look at yourself as a person and try and figure out if it's even safe for you to try it, because if you have impulse control issues, someday down the like you may end up like me where you basically want to smoke before every activity to try and make that activity more fun and you wind up smoking so much you just need a nap, and when you wake up you're smoking again 😅 moderation is key!

[luckyshotwrites]

Ch. 57 // She’s a Payton!? // Day 45

Contents (Warnings): What is Lynette Wayland? (Angsty and character/monster info). @nebbynebbu (FOR GIVING ME THIS BANGER TITLE!!)

Wordcount: 1,300+ (This is the rest).

Side note: This will contain experimental writing, first person (Lynette's view) will be implemented alongside third person for the two other essential characters, (mostly) Alexander and (occasionally) Drake. For those third person moments all their text will be italicized and have the characters name in Bold at the start. There may be other characters I write for using this.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

(Nov. 5th, Saturday)

Drake

The whole scene played in his head. He was the one that called out her name in shock. Then the look her brother gave them, he knew he'd be screwed if Wicks shot anything at them. Luckily, Stefan had it. 

That was terrifying.  

"I thought the name Wicks sounded familiar," Drake muttered.

Alexander sat down and snapped out of his trance. "HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW SHE WAS A PAYTON?!"

"Her last name's not the same, and she doesn't match their appearance," Edgar said with a dumbfounded tone. Drake's mom leaned on his shoulder. They were on the loveseat to the right of their couch.

After his soon-to-be bride walked off with her brother and dad, Ulysses sat between Drake and Wenna. He placed two fingers on either side of his temples.

"Dad, she's going to kill me." He dropped his arms and his head. "I can't believe her sister's working at your pizzeria."

Drake glanced at Alexander. He's looks pissed.

Pete's leaned up in his chair across from Drake's mom and dad, "that's the same girl you invited to work there, isn't it, Alex?"

He groaned aloud and threw his head back. He didn't respond.

"It's not against Lynette's will. She's allowed to leave at any time." Edgar said.

Ulysses lifted his head, "but she's there with Alexander."

Alexander lurched up, and his eyelids lowered, "what the fuck is that supposed to mean?!"

"Alex, don't cuss at your family."

Drake could see the amount of reflexive restraint Alexander had to keep himself from saying, "fuck off," to his dad.

Wenna laughed and grabbed at Ulysses's shoulder. She pushed him back onto the couch to look at Drake. "Remember when I jokingly said I always wanted a little sister?"

"Not the time, Wenna," Drake said. He felt the erratic heartbeat next to him, yet the lack of worry on Alexander's face. You're pretty good at hiding it.

"Don't worry, honey. We can all talk about everything at dinner." Their mom mustered up a cheerful grin.

His older brother swerved his head to Drake. "How bad has it been for her, Drake?" Ulysses asked. 

Drake opened his mouth, then slowly closed, and grimaced. "Well-uh-better than I thought it would be..."

Ulysses audibly whined, "Charletta never wanted to go into detail about her adopted sibling." He sank down, partially slumping off the couch. His hands were over his face, "how was I supposed to put two and two together? She never mentioned her name until now."

Adopted? Drake questioned. That explains the apparent differences in appearances. I didn't put two and two together because of it. Not that I remember her telling us she was going on vacation? Or did she? 

"Understandably so. I'd be hesitant to share that I have a human daughter at the same status as them too." Pete's remarked with his hands crossed over his chest. 

Edgar audibly sighed, "I didn't think I'd need to do this, but I suppose if any other humans decide to stay longer than a day. A thorough investigation will be in order."

The half-wendigo stood up. Alexander pushed his glasses up and walked around the coffee table and the couch where Drake's parents were, "I'm gonna get some fresh air."

Pete's put his hands on the armrests, and he went to push himself from it. 

"Alone." Alexander specified. He reached the backdoor that led to their decorative back patio. 

Then Petes stared at Drake. He sighed and got up. I'm on baby sitting duty, got it. He got up and trailed behind Alexander. 

...

Alexander

Little shit had to follow me, didn't you? He thought with a soft head shake. He didn't mind Drake at all. Once they stepped outside, he looked over the nice trim and at least felt relieved to smell the fresh air inside of Lynette's delicious scent. 

"What the hell!" Alexander said aloud, stopping at the koi pond. I fucking thought I was losing my mind when I smelled her. His body jittered with anticipation. Stop! He shouted in his head. He grumbled under his breath.

"I'm about as surprised as you are," Drake muttered.

"SURPRISED DOESN'T EVEN-" He turned back. "She's part of one of the strongest magic families we know..." That fucking explains why she tastes so damn good. She's a failed magus. Now her body just so...- He could feel his mouth starting to salivate. He didn't think he'd have to worry about any humans on his vacation. "Did they tell Lynette not to mention it? So she fucking lied straight to our faces about it."

Drake closed his eyes momentarily, the frantic earlier beats repeated in his ears. He shrugged, "by the sound of her heart when she ran into the room, I don't think she knew."

"How?" Alexander growled, "did they seriously not fucking tell her the whole time? How do they keep that hidden for that long?" Alexander bobbed his head back and forth, "If they erased her memory..." He rolled his eyes, "no, that's stupid. Over erasure poses a risk to the user and who they're using it on."

Drake exhaled, "I have no idea. I guess they would have to be careful..." 

Careful, that doesn't begin to cut it. They'd use magic frequently. You'd have to take turns making sure she never sees it. When they were doing that, or she's that dumb and didn't notice. It really helped him concentrate on a viable reason. He could think of spells like muddle that would confuse individuals, which they could have used on her so she wouldn't understand what was happening. But again, overuse of anything mind-related can cause damage to both of them. 

Drake's chuckle broke his thought, "you know, it's funny, isn't it...if she did decide to leave day one, we still would have met with her again anyway."

His stormish light blue hue stroked the pond's surface. "and now she's part of the family, isn't she?" Great. That... His stomach started to lightly growl. "She's going to be even more annoying than usual."

"Annoying? My sister's far from annoying."

Alexander flicked back, and Drake stared back at the door as well. Her older brother walked out to the backyard to meet them. "So, Drake," he pointed at the male with bangs over his eyes and then to the glasses-clad male, "and Alexander." Wicks smiled, yet he saw the hold of violence behind it. "You know, Lentils mentioned you both a couple of times."

Wicks approached without fear. He left himself open, only his radiating power accompanying him, even more than Charletta. 

Wicks stopped where he was at least twenty feet from either of them, "Why do you both look so tense?" His eyes narrowed, "I just wanted to thank you both for caring for Lynette, as I'm sure you both have been."

Alexander felt the venom. 

Drake spoke out, "we haven't done anything noteworthy."

Wicks's eyes fell onto Alexander. He knows what I am, doesn't he? Fuck. "Don't sell yourselves short." The magus turned his gaze to Drake, "because if I found out anyone ended up hurting her, whether it be a stranger or my brother...I'd kill them." 

His tone had a severe tension, not that Alexander planned to hurt her, but he could feel the threat sinking deep. He broke it with laughter. "not that I have a brother, though." 

Charletta peeked her head out, "Wicks, you should get unpacked!" Her voice sounded like she wanted to say more but refrained as soon as she noticed them. She gave a small wave. "Hey, boys."

Wicks turned around, "yeah."

Alexander exhaled aloud once they were left alone again.

"He's gonna kill us." Drake tried to smirk, "probably more so you."

"Shut up," Alexander said. He looked away and back at the pond. If he and I got into a fight, I would fucking lose...he's a pure fucking prodigy.

...

Lynette

I was alone in the dark. The conversation wouldn't leave my head. I told Madre I was going to take a shower and take rest. I told her I understood when I didn't. 

I should be angry. I thought but couldn't muster it. I can't be because she's right. It wasn't even a sadness anymore. I didn't know what to think. My mind was stockpiled with so many thoughts I didn't even know what to ask. 

I stared at the bumpy suitcase with its dimmed color. Everything looked so faint and devoid without the sun.

Is this what made Wicks so upset? This is what he wanted to tell me, wasn't it? I winced when I realized I could have told him about my struggles this whole time. Would I want to?

The door creaked open, and a burst of light blinded me. I squeaked out. 

"ah!"

"What are you doing sitting here in the dark, Lentils," he sang sweetly. 

I squinted through the brightness and up to him. "I was unpacking."

"In the dark?"

I looked back at the case, "yeah."

He sighed, walked in, and shut the door behind him. He dropped down across from the turquoise suitcase next to his maroon one. He pouted his lips, a dissatisfaction as he unzipped his luggage. 

I did the same. And shifted through my clothes, toothbrush, toothpaste, soap, and the gifts I got for everyone. Including the one I brought for Wicks at the festival long ago. I had it under my bed and only remembered them because of the alarm on my phone I set the day before the trip.

I grabbed the small yen-like pouch with the little figurine I got him but stopped as he spoke.

"You should quit your job."

Was he talking to me? He didn't face me. I lowered his gift back.

"Huh?" 

I traced his back with my eyes. His shoulders looked taut, and his ponytail looked like it'd unravel with any further nods or movement.

"I can pay for anything and everything you need," Wicks replied, taking out his toiletries. 

I have already been there for two months. I can't give up and rely on your money again. "I don't need it. I have my own money."

He got up and didn't glance back, "Lentils, there's no reason for you to work."

"No reason?" I stood up, too, "Wicks, I'm gonna do this. I'm going to make it the year. Then I don't have to worry about money anymore." I'm not going to-. I squeezed my eyelids several times to shoo away the thoughts.

"You're not."

"I am."

Wicks looked back, and I could see the overwhelming concern and fear in his eyes. "You shouldn't be involved in any of this!"

"I've been for nearly two months. It's way too late for that!"

He lifted his head, let out a small yell, then looked back down at me. "It can't be! BECAUSE THEN THAT-" His vocals quit. I hadn't seen him so upset in a while.

"What?" The feeling in my chest returned. "Wicks!"

"I'm taking a shower." 

"Wicks!" I went to grab his wrist, but he turned around his eyes glowed. His hand lit up, and I felt like something had pushed into me, like a gust of air. It knocked me on my butt and ruined my hair. I scrambled up.

"DID YOU USE MAGIC ON ME!!" 

He entered the bathroom and closed the door before I could reach him. 

...

This was submitted as a long list by @dionysusdoctrine . I cut off the last part because it has yet to be talked about AND the reason for moving frequently has not been talked about either. HOWEVER, you are correct. As it's explained here, Lynette has been part of the "monster world" a majority of her life. I have a energy chart I'll end up putting out eventually to explain this further for her!

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING THIS FAR, EVERYONE! <3 AS ALWAYS HAVE A GOUDA DAY! (Nonnegotiable).

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Catch up, see some maps/art, or check the latest release dates down below  ↓ ↓ ↓ 

What I’d do for a Livable Income (Synopsis/Chapter - List)

[animentality]

Now imagine if this kid actually asked M3gan if they can call her mommy. Because she basically is their mother at that point. And she's just stunned silent, not knowing how to respond to the question for several seconds, wanting to say yes, but not knowing if she should. I'm not certain what the right response would be, I know the point of the original was that it's bad to let technology raise your kids and this is a scenario where technology is outright adopting a kid as their own child. What do you think? Would mama M3gan be accepted by the fans or would they disapprove of the original film's message being sort of... cast aside?

As long as the movie itself was good...I think fans could accept the divergence of morality.

Also, if M3GAN hypothetically became a better parent...then is she just an ai?

The message of the first m3gan is that technology is often used as a distraction for kids, something that doesn't encourage growth or change or real learning. It can be addictive and harmful for young people because they haven't experienced the real world, aren't as capable of self restraint and control, and their whole world becomes this digital nothingness.

In a hypothetical good m3gan movie, maybe she'd grow to be more of a person and not just a thing.

See, in the movie, she was always entertaining Cady. Always attentive, always watching her and making sure she was happy.

There are some parenting things she does, like commanding her to flush the toilet and wash her hands, but there wasn't a real depth. She was just reciting facts and research and raising a kid the way a computer might, emphasizing the logical and practical rather than the emotional or the social.

She comforted Cady when she was sad, sure, but couldn't quite grasp the importance of death. She just knew that Cady was sad, so she operated in the only way she could think of. I don't think she really understood how Cady's parents couldn't be replaced or truly kept, even if stories about them were recorded.

Cady's grief is placed somewhere else, but it's still there.

That little outburst she had when Gemma tried to keep m3gan away from her was so good, because in the end, she just realized that she was grieving and she missed her parents and that no amount of toys would ever fix that.

So to go back to your question, I think that M3GAN's growth could totally be believable and still align with the first movie because if she grew into something more than just a sophisticated nanny...it would still go along with the idea that technology alone can't raise children.

You need empathy and to understand the sheer depths of a child's emotions.

You need to understand humanity.

But could m3gan ever really, truly, understand people?

I don't know. More movies could explore that.

M3gan becoming more human would just be a natural growth from the first m3gan movie.

Also I'm getting a little emotional myself, thinking about that scene with m3gan comforting Cady...I actually realized while writing this that...the movie was really solid thematically except for that one scene...in which an ai understands how a person is feeling.

Like ...how??? I want to know more. I need to know more.

Why was m3gan able to do that???

It was a beautiful scene. But it goes against their moral that ai is unfeeling and cruel without even meaning to be.

It goes against the idea that ai and technology can't replace human interactions and adaptation!

The machine was able to recognize what a human needed, emotionally and psychologically...

But anyway.

Still a thematically solid movie, I just wonder about that scene....

[countrymusiclover]

28 - Man With Claws

Part 29

She's Human or Weapon

@supernaturalgirl30 @groovy-lady @bigbendyhorns @logolepsic-insomniac @the-big-bad-klaus @ocappreciationtag @foundationsretail

Blinking my eyes opened my head feels like a brick wall smashed into it repeatedly over and over. I try sitting up but soon realized that I couldn't move my arms or legs. Lifting my head up as much as I could I saw metal restraints holding me down onto an operating table. I started thrashing around seeing an iv sticking into my left arm making me panic. I've been in this situation before with Shaw and I refuse to live with someone like that demon man again. Gasping suddenly I bite my lip feeling some pain shoot through my stomach meaning it was the baby right before a door opened. A man carrying a clipboard walked in who I don't recognize. "At last we meet Ms. Deerfield or should I call you Mrs. Xavier?" The man questioned laying the board down taking a seat on a rolling chair pushing hair out of my face. Grunting through my teeth I spit in his direction. "Who the hell are you...Urgh let me go...I'm not your enemy!"

"Oh excuse me. Where are my manners. My name is William Stryker. And you and I are going to have some fun." He tapped some buttons on a keypad before tiny little needles injected themselves into my arms and legs. "You see my dear girl. Sébastien Shaw only scratched the surface with you. Him being a mutant himself he thought he should rule the world. I am not here to do that. I'm here to understand your power and then use it to wipe every single mutant out of existence." Clutching my hands into fists at my side I grunted feeling my chest heaving up and down in terror. Erik was right that once people learned about mutants they would start experimenting on us. End up killing us all because we are different. "So what do you plan to do with me, Stryker...because there's no mutant in this world that can wipe us all out at once."

Stryker clicks his tongue increasing whatever is inside the needles causing me to scream. Clutching my hands into fists I felt the golden power breaking through and hitting some things around the room. "Ms. Xavier I already have the person I need in mind. You see I was given a copy of your medical treatments that were done. So I know you are half telepath like your husband. I'm going to use you to rid the world of mutants." The needles retract themselves from my arms where I saw wounds in my arms and legs. Struggling for air I felt the pain everywhere in my body. Bugging my eyes out I shutter seeing my wounds slowly healing themselves where has never happened before. "What did you do to me. I - I wasn't able to heal before - what did you do!" I croaked through heavy tears wishing I was back home safe with my husband and daughter instead of with this hateful human.

"I gave you the power of one of my experiments...named Wolverine. He escaped you see when I captured your friend Mystique not too long ago. So now you're going to be my new experiment." He moves to put a needle in my head but I closed my eyes tightly entering his mind and locking onto him. Freezing him in his place I grunted creating a high amount of energy from my hands destroying the metal restraints. Swinging my legs over the bed I quickly take the needle injecting it into his body instead. A few seconds later my vision starts to blur so I started running through the lab hearing security calling out for me. Jumping over a stairs railings I moaned feeling my shoulder get a piece of metal inside it. My hair is tousled around where I forced myself to my feet seeing the red words of an exit door a few steps in front of me.

Bolting out the door I didn't stop running until I found a small town. Wherever I am there's snow everywhere so I'm definitely not around home anymore. Pulling my jacket hood over my head I tilt my head down hoping to not get noticed by anyone here. Struggling I climbed up onto a barstool laying my head on the countertop until a man spoke. "You don't look too hot there sweetheart." Whipping my head up I frantically looked around creating a small ball of energy in my hand underneath the table ready to fight. The man sitting next to me has deep brown eyes and hair where I somehow recognize him from somewhere. I just can't put my finger on where at exactly. "Luckily we're alone. Most people around here don't care too much for mutants. So what's your name?" He asked causing me to shake my hand making the energy die out. He raised a beer to his mouth taking a drink. "I'm Aurora. Aurora Xavier. Who are you stranger?" The man spit out his drink bugging his eyes out at me with a stunned look on his face. "Golden Flare...it's you." My mouth hangs opened hearing that nickname finally remembering who this guy was.

"Who exactly are you?" I questioned walking down the stairs creating some gold energy from my left palm. The stranger has dark brown hair and eyes. He raised his hand showing bone like claws appeared outside his skin. "I'm Logan and you're Golden Flare. Some call you Rora"

My heart skipped a beat mumbling under my breath knowing who the man was right in front of me. "Logan...oh my God. I thought you were dead after DC or that you had went back to your own time." He sits his glass down in front of him turning to face me giving me a smile even though it was a tiny one. "Part of me did go back. But my current self - uh me stayed here." Nodding my head I reached about to take his hand but retract it remembering my shoulder was injured. Pulling the top of my sleeve down I shivered seeing the wound was healed over like it never happened. "Rora, are you alright. You look like you've seen a ghost?" Logan asked when I met his gaze where I grabbed a tooth pick sticking it into the center of my left hand wincing at the pain. Dropping the pick the tiny wound hole closes over making me almost throw up. "Logan I - uh need to ask you a question...do you know a man named William Stryker?" Glancing over to him he dropped the cigare he had in his mouth completely shocked by my question.

Comments really appreciated ❤️

[sunlightocean]

Okay ngl, the overblots in twst are getting kinda,,,, boring at this point. Like I get it, they're a plot device and explains the characters backstory, but it kinda feels like we're getting them just,, thrown at us for no reason.

According to the overblot entry in the wiki, an overblot happens when a magical user uses too much magic combined with negative emotions. In a good amount of the chapters, the overblots just sorta happen.

Like, in chapter one, Riddle overblots because of his anger at Ace, as well as the collaring of too many students at once. That's understandable. In chapter 3, Azul overblots because he kept on using his unique magic, which is very prone to creating blot, to steal other magic from people without any restraint. That's understandable as well.

But for the rest,,,, it just sorta,,, happens.

For chap. 2, Leona overblots out of no where. Maybe using King's Roar on the entire magift stadium, plus his negative emotions contributed to the overblot? It's not said in the chapter, nor is it a very good reasoning. (I assume) Leona's been training his magic since he was a kid, it wouldn't make very much sense.

Hell, it would have made more sense for Ruggie to overblot. He used his unique magic on an entire stadium worth of people, that should be enough for someone to gather a large amount of blot. The potion Ruggie used wasn't specified/looked into, all we know is that Azul gave it to him, and it can boost your magical abilities greatly. Nothing about reducing blot or anything.

Same thing happens to Vil in chapter 5. He just sorta, snapped after his attempt at poisoning Neige failed and he got outted. He didn't really use any magic. It would have helped if, idk, he used a large spell on the drink he tried to give, not a lot but still, would've helped explain a bit. It was probably just a normal handmade poison. Pomefiore talent and all that. Idk, not a lot of detail.

Chapter 4 is,,, questionable??? at best. Jamil overblot is caused by Azul over throwing his plans as well as his fight with Kalim. His control on the students he hypnotized with his UM probably contributed? Nothing is really said or put into detail, but there's a good chance that helped with the blot accumulation.

Chapter 6??? Uh,,, I can't really say anything??? I haven't been able to play it yet, because I'm busy with school, I'm only into part 14. So when I finish the chapter I'll update this post. But for know you get this.

All in all, the overblot is getting overused at this point. Nothing is really put into detail throughout the chapters, or the game in general, which makes it hard to really get a grasp on the overblots. The lore in twisted wonderland is very very vague,,, and as a lore explorer im kinda salty about it,,, but then again, it's Disney, I don't expect them to explain much, they just throw angst at us at a desperate attempt to keep us hooked. (Which that succeed at like,,, 56% of the time)

I'm nervous/scared for chapter 7, cause Malleus is next in the chain of overblots, and he's baby. I really can't expect Lilia to do the same thing Jamil did 'cause he's an old man who's as ancient af,, but Disney's pulled some sh*t, they'll find a way to throw our theories out the window in one way or another.

So Disney, if you're seeing this, (which I highly doubt but hey, a girl can dream) please explain the lore better,,, I'm on my knees, plus a good chunk of the twst community is with me on this.

[blackbird-brewster]

3 5 and 18 for the fic asks!! :)

Thanks for the ask! [Send me author asks]

3. What’s your favourite fic that you’ve written?

Oh god, what a difficult question!!! I've written nearly 140 fics in the years I've been active. I'm cheating and gonna list a a couple that I adore with all my heart (and I'm very proud of!)

Criminal Minds, JJ/Tara/Emily, SERIES

I'm never going to stop banging my pots and pans together to hype this fic series. A queer rom-com AU that explores coming out, neurodivergence, found family, and of course, healthy polyamory. What more could you want in a fic?!

Criminal Minds, JJ/Tara, WC: 72,523

Even if you don't ship JJ/Tara, this fic is SOOOOO good. I went a bit experimental and used flashbacks as narrative in each chapter and it just weaves such an incredible story. Anytime I re-read this fic I say, "Holy shit?!?! I wrote this?!" Honestly, even if it's not your ship, read it because it's a masterpiece.

5. What’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

[Answered Here] But of course I have more than one idea that will probably never actually get written! I have always toyed with the idea of writing a 'Sliding Doors' type of fic. Where the two main characters (probably JJ/Emily) come to a point where they have an important choice to make (Maybe it's Emily deciding whether or not to got o London) and the fic splits off from there. One half of the fic is her going to London, the other is her staying. It's an ambitious idea that would require meticulous planning, but I would LOVE to write it someday

18. What’s one of your favourite lines you’ve written in a fic?

I have to say, my use of metaphors is top-tier. Sometimes I write the most gut-wrenching lines and look at them like 'Who the fuck wrote this!?'. Here are five lines/paragraphs that have always stuck with me:

From [Between You & Me]:

"She and JJ kissed once, just once, when they were drunk and lost in the moment, but in that one chaste kiss, Emily felt the incredible amount of emotion that was cresting in tidal waves behind her lips, just waiting for her to lose enough self-restraint that it would be impossible for her to prevent all the 'I love yous', that had been trapped in her throat, from breaking free from their silent confinement to come spilling out until they drowned her in the process. This feeling, this stark understanding of what would happen if they ever let it go any further than one kiss was what made Emily pull away at the time, even though she often wondered if JJ would have let her keep going if she hadn’t."

From [i can't be wrong (to be craving you)]:

"If hope is a thing with feathers that perches in the soul, it suddenly feels like the immensity of her fear is ready to pluck hope bare, strip it back, press a boot to its raw and naked form and spit on the entire idea of it, and she knows it would be so incredibly effortless for her to let go, to just give into that desolate feeling."

From [Mercy]:

“You’re parts!” JJ yelled from behind, as she approached Emily.

Emily spun around when she heard JJ’s voice, she was exhausted and really just wanted to get home. She shook her head at JJ,  “What?”

JJ had closed the distance now, she came to rest just a foot way from Emily. “You’re right. You’re right that there are parts of this job I can’t take home. You’re parts. You have always been the part of my job that I couldn’t take home, Emily. Or rather, you have always been the part of my job that I was too afraid to take home.”

From [Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) - Part 1]:

Penelope poked their head out of their office when they heard the commotion, “What’s happening out here?”

“Derek pulled all of his muscles because, from what I can deduce, he probably underestimated this Emily person since she’s a woman and she seemed to have torn him asunder,” Tara reported as she sipped her coffee.

From [Fooled Around (and Fell in Love) - Part 2]:

JJ stepped so she was only a foot from Tara. She stared up at the taller woman. “I said… YOU are being a Piglet right now.”

“What does that even mean?” Tara huffed.

“Chapter five, Piglet goes to check the heffalump trap. And he hears the sad sounds of Pooh, but he doesn’t know it’s Pooh, and Piglet gets scared then runs away. Piglet convinced himself the awful noise had to be a Heffalump because he just didn’t stop long enough to look. He had built up this horrifying idea of what Heffalumps looked and sounded like, so Piglet convinced himself a Heffalump was the only explanation for what he briefly saw. He ran away without pausing to really look. But if he HAD looked closely, he would have see that the monster in the trap was actually his good friend Pooh, with a pot on his head. He would have seen it was his friend that needed his help. Piglet ran away because his own self-deception told him he had caught a Heffalump!" JJ stepped closer so they were very nearly pressed into each other. “I’m saying don’t convince yourself something is a Heffalump before you even take time to examine it. Maybe, the big scary Heffalump you’ve concocted in your head is actually your good friend, who cares for you deeply. Your good friend who needs you. Your good friend who wants you. Your good friend who desires nothing more than for you to stop running.”

[bl-bracket]

Info for how the brackets work:

So since there's been a lot more attention on this current competetion then the last, I thought I'd share some of my process on how the brackets get formed so y'all can understand how it works more!

Who gets put in the brackets?

Basically everyone who gets submitted at this point! I'm still starting out on here and I don't have a ton of traction yet, so every character submitted has been put in the bracket. Right now I've been doing 16-competitors brackets, so I basically take everyone's submissions and then add my own if I need more. The green flag bracket had the most amount of submissions so far (39) with 12 characters nominated. I added another 4 based on my personal choices to complete the bracket and that's how you got what we have now.

Why is X character against Y character?

The pairings for the bracket are about 80% randomized. The remaining 20% is my interference, which, in order to make the competition more interesting, is avoiding putting the real heavy hitters against each other in the first round. For this bracket (and those going forward), the "heavy hitters" were basically the characters I got the most repeated submissions for earlier. Like I said, I had 39 submissions with only 12 characters, many characters were submitted by multiple people. I took the ones with the most submissions and adjusted it so that they weren't going to face each other till later rounds. Maybe in the future I will adjust this policy but for now just keep in mind that the match ups are largely randomized.

Isn't this just a popularity contest?

I mean... yeah? Unfortunately that's how these bracket competitions seem to work and I'm not sure if there's any way to combat that. My best advice is to use as much campaigning and propaganda as you want for your desired canadite (also reblogging the poll if your follower base tends to have similar opinions on the shows can be advantageous to you ;).) I also think in future brackets I'll add the reasons people give for submitting their character to the posts to hopefully even the odds a little.

Also just some general info, I'm trying my best to be neutral as possible with these! I don't vote in the polls (originally because the very first round I ever did didn't have a lot of votes and I didn't want to sway any of them. Now it's just a fun little game of self restraint) so I'm not trying to get yall to vote for a specific character. I also haven't watched every single drama that is a part of these competitions so pls don't get too upset at a character being included that you think is inaccurate! There is a very real possibility that they were just a user submission I added! I don't want to stay which dramas I have or haven't watched (again I don't want to sway anything) so please don't ask me or interrogate me on why a character is a part of the poll! Like I said before, it's primarily user submissions and only a few are added by me, but I would really rather not say which are which (except maybe after a bracket has been completed!)

Anyways! This is just a reminder that this is all in good fun! The most popular bl is not necessarily the best bl, nor is the bl you find most enjoyable always the best bl either! It can be fun to argue and debate over fictional characters but please stay kind and remember to keep fun at the forefront!