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forsworned · 2 years

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DONT FALL IN LOVE WITH ME // SANEMI SHINAZUGAWA

☆ ──── ask (?) : I almost pissed myself when I saw that your reqs are open so I'm sending one but pls take your time, I just rushed cause I've been wanting to have my own lil piece made by you for a long time 🥺 I simply imagine a scenario with Sanemi and reader not being romantically/physically involved anymore bc of a rule he set at the beginning of their special friendship but he actually ended up liking her way too much without even noticing so the other hashiras kinda have to tell him bc it's so obvious and he has to eventually deal with it bc she seems not bothered at all

☆ ──── author’s note : for my anon who wanted their own sanemi fic, my tumblr is being super shit so here it is on a separate post i usually like to put it in the ask itself but unfortunately ill have to link it i’m sorry :(

☆ ──── warning(s) : suggestive language and themes, mostly just hella fluff

"I'm putting my foot down, [name]. I mean it."

His violet eyes were quivering but his face remained blank as he gazed down at you. His hands were balled up in fists and you felt tears prick at your eyes as you stared at them.

You were struck with grief accompanied by a feeling of betrayal. It was a feeling that you struggled with having because you had no business feeling that way. As Sanemi's Tsuguko, there was a clear and verbal rule that he had made sure to emphasize.

"...and lastly, don't fall in love with me."

You gave him a disgruntled look as your face contorted in confusion and annoyance.

"Excuse me?" You laughed humorlessly as you crossed your arms.

"You heard me." He leaned down as he spoke to you so you could hear it one more time. "Don't. Fall. In. Love. With. Me."

Your felt your heart thud against your chest due to his proximity to your face. "Your breath stinks."

His face twisted into embarrassment as he leaned back and checked his breath. "No, it doesn’t!"

"It does, too." You feigned wafting away the horrendous scent you claimed to have come from his breath.

Which was a lie. His breath smelled like mint straight from Shinobu's garden. Something you had started to make a habit of as you had made a small observation about him. He would sometimes like to pick the leaves off of her mint plants and when Shinobu got the chance to scold him she would. She actually scolded him a lot more now because there were more leaves that were missing, but actually it was because you picked up his small but obnoxious practice.

"Whatever. Don't say I didn't warn you." He pointed at you in what was suppose to be menancing but came off as rather childish.

You chuckled. "And if I do?"

You wanted to humor him, but it was more like you wanted to humor yourself than anything else.

"Then consider yourself no longer my Tsuguko."

That memory had been embedded into mind, but somehow you had thought that with all the shared longing looks, and quite literally being back to back faced with hundreds of bloodthirsty demons that it would change. Something in his brain would flip that switch and you confessing your feelings wouldn't have been for nothing.

"But..."

He shook his head. "But nothing. I...I told you [name]. That was the deal."

You felt the fresh tears start to cascade down your cheeks as you finally met his gaze with overwhelming complicated feelings that raged within you. Your hands tightened into fists as you sniffled loudly.

"But you like me, too!" If you had stomped your foot that would've completed the steps of having a temper tantrum.

Sanemi turned away from you as the summer breeze caressed through his white locks. "It doesn't matter. Starting from today, you're no longer my Tsuguko [name]."

"Then I'll leave the Demon Slayer Corps!" You stomped.

You were officially in temper tantrum mode.

His body stiffened at your words as he remained silent for a moment.

"Do what you want."

You felt your lip tremble as you watched him walk away from you and you crouched down as you hugged your knees to your chest while tucked your crying face between them.

It wasn't fair! You knew that Sanemi liked you back, and yet he had given you the cold shoulder all because of a stupid vow! Why did he even make you promise that to him in the first place?

"I'm guessing it didn't go well?"

You peered up to see Shinobu leaned down gazing at you with pretty lavender eyes that sparkled in the sunlight. She gave you a sympathetic look as she dabbed away your tears. You felt humiliated knowing that Shinobut had witnessed the whole situation, but you also no longer cared.

"Thank you." You murmured to her as she sat beside you watching the sun set beautifully across the horizon.

"This used to be my favorite spot to watch the sunset with Kanae."

"What?" You looked over at her in complete confusion as you blew into your tissue that she had given you.

"Kanae, my older sister."

"Oh, right." You shook your head. You felt like an idiot for not remembering that Shinobu had an older sister that had been murdered by the upper moons. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright." She gave you her usual smile but it quickly disappeared as her eyes began to go to a far away place. "We would eat onigiri with Himejima-san right here every sunset. I miss those days. When things were less complicated, and love could blossom with no barriers."

She sighed outwardly as she rested her chin on her palms. "Sanemi used to have the biggest crush on her."

Your eyes widened in shock and she caught a glimpse at your surprise causing you to look away in embarrassment. Her smile widened.

"It's okay, Kanae didn't really return his feelings. She was too focused on killing demons much like I am and much like most demon slayers are."

"So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that Sanemi in his weird messed up mind didn't want to see someone that he loves to get hurt, again."

You gazed at her incredulously. "Huh?"

"Ara, ara, [name], don't look so happy." She teased.

You felt your eyebrow twitch at her as she laughed at your vexed expression. "Shut up."

You rested your chin on top of your knees again as you watched the sun disappear behind the mountains. You felt warmth creep from behind your ears. Was what Shinobu said true?

"Uzui-san and Rengoku-san are actually talking to him right now."

"About?" You didn't tear your gaze away from the apricot glow that the sun was decorating the trees with.

"Proposing to you."

"Eh?!"

Shinobu covered her mouth but her giggles were falling out effortlessly as she doubled over in laughter.

"Don't say things like that!" You pinched her arm and she pouted at you, but it didn't last for long because she began to laugh again.

You felt your whole face begin to warm up as you began to get increasingly frustrated with her. "You're so cruel, Shinobu-kun."

"It's the truth." She said after a moment.

"Let's go." She was standing now as she held out her small hand for you to take.

"Where?"

"To talk to Sanemi."

"Eh?!" You gave her another incredulous look. "Are you crazy? He doesn't wanna talk to me and definitely not about marriage!"

"I'll show you."

The expression on her face never wavered as she held out her hand and you peered from it to her hand.

"Don't screw with me, Kochou."

"I'm not."

"I'm serious."

She gave you a serene smile as she urged you. "Me too."

* * *

"I don't know how the hell you got me to come with you."

You peered behind the corner with Shinobu to make sure the coast was clear.

"Don't be so uptight, [name]-kun. We're going to get you your dream man." She tipped toed down the wide hall that seemed to never end.

"H-he's not my dream man!" You exclaimed.

"Shh." She pressed her finger to her lips and you sighed.

"Sorry."

"Dream husband then?"

"Shinobu!"

A quiet but audible chuckle left her lips as you followed her to a shoji that was cracked open and voices seemed to flow out from it.

"Sanemi, quit being such a pussy, man!" Tengen's voice boomed as he slammed his fist on the table.

Kyoujurou''s hand rested on his broad shoulders. "Uzui-san, there is no need for such violence."

He turned to Sanemi whose face was unreadable because it was covered by his disheveled hair.

"I think you should speak with, [surname]-san. You don't want her to get the wrong idea."

"Guys!" Mitsuri's voice was heard within earshot as she whispered excitedly as she waved and crouched down next to you two. "Sorry I'm late. I was just finishing some senbei."

"It's alright. They just started." Shinobu smiled at her.

"Oh, good!" Mitsuri turned to you as she squeezed your arm and gave you a warm smile. "I'm just in time for the big show."

"What show?" You asked not knowing what exactly was happening.

"Open up to [surname]-san, she is a wonderful woman who you are more than deserving of." Gyomei added as he rubbed his beads between his large hands.

"I agree. She isn't annoying like most girls. You should go for it before it's too late." Obanai's voice entered the chat.

"Big talk from a guy who hasn't professed his love for a certain sakura mochi colored hair girl." Tengen teased

Mitsuri made a loud eeping noise and covered her mouth immediately but it still managed to get all three male Hashira's attention.

Just then the shoji slid open and a pair of irritated violet hues glared down at you three with a healthy blush covering his cheeks.

"W-what are you guys doing here?!" He stammered looking from the three of you and finally his eyes landed on you.

"I..." You began but you had no idea what to say.

Even though he had said nothing, his body language and well everyone else had said everything you needed to hear.

"Can you two goofs just make up and get married already? We're Hashira, we don't have time to beat around the bush." Tengen folded his arms with an annoying grin spread across his tanned features.

"Easy for you to say." Obanai sneered at him.

"This is...getting too weird for my liking." You mumbled as you began to get up and brush yourself off. You felt your heart thrumming against your chest as you began to walk away.

"Wait!" You heard his voice call out and you froze for a moment.

The sounds of his footsteps getting closer to you before he was finally in front of you. You gazed up at him and his face was beginning to become beet red.

"Sanemi...?" You murmured but before you knew it he had tugged at your wrist and suddenly your body was flung forward and you were sprinting out of the build.

You heard fainted cheers as the world around you began to blur until finally he stopped when you reached a certain spot under a wisteria tree. The sound of crickets chirping and frogs ribbiting filled the air as he finally dropped your wrist.

"Are you okay?" You asked as you leaned against the tree.

He exhaled loudly as he ran a hand through his locks and then to you. His violet hues trained on you as his lips trembled. "Be with me, forever."

The blush reappeared on his cheeks and he looked younger somehow. He reminded you of Genya and how he had such a difficult time speaking with girls and while it should have put you at ease, it made you freak out even more.

"Eh?!"

"Dammit, [name]. Don't you love me back? I'm returning your feelings and I--I want to marry you. There I said it."

There was a silence that was too loud for your liking.

"Be with you? Forever? " You felt anger starting to bubble up in your chest.

"You want me to be with you?! You want me to—what? To marry you after you just--you just walked away from me when I confessed my feelings to you?"

His adam's apple bobbed up and down as he pressed his lips into a line. Fear started to accumulate into the form of a lump in his throat and no matter how many times he tried to swallow it it didn't go away.

You began to laugh as tears sprung into your eyes and you wiped them away as you clutched onto your stomach.

"Ahh...that was a good joke. A great joke even. Now tell me what you really want." You sniffled as you rubbed at your eyes.

Your heart nearly stopped when you refocused your sight on what was in front of you. Sanemi was down on one knee as he presented to you a betrothal ring that glistened under the dim light of fireflies scattered all around you.

He gazed up at you with hopeful eyes as he began to speak.

"I know I told you that I no longer wanted you to be my Tsuguko if you ever fell in love with me, but it was to protect you. I found myself falling for you the moment I had laid eyes on you. I struggled with my feelings everyday and I had no idea how to deal with them, but after an endless amount of interventions with the rest of the Hashira they finally convinced me to jump the gun. So, will you, [surname] [name], do me the honor of being with me until the end of our days?”

You stared down at him as the wind swept past you two. You hadn’t noticed that you were holding your breath for so long until your body convulsed a little begging for air as you put your hand over your diaphragm. Were you dreaming? Or was this real? You could no longer tell anymore, but your gut was telling you to jump at the opportunity of being with Sanemi. The man of your dreams, quite literally. He inhabited your mind ruthlessly and you had imagined this moment a million times over and, yet it still was not registering in your mind.

“If I say yes,” You began to say and his violet hues quivered at the sound of your voice.

A sinister smile graced your beautiful features. “You have to meet my every need and desire any and every time I want.”

He gulped dryly at your words and his mind wandered aimlessly at naughty thoughts as his face began to become inflamed.

You laughed at his instantaneous reaction of complete embarrassment.

“Is—is that not what a husband is supposed to do for his wife?” His voice trembled as he spoke and you stopped laughing for a moment,

Sanemi’s boyish charm and inexperience was seeping out of him and you almost felt bad for teasing him. It was only a harmless joke, well kind of, but still it made you feel a little bad in such a special moment.

You placed your hand on his shoulder for a moment as you held out your hand for him to put the ring on.

“As long as you understand your duty of pleasing me and giving into every one of my special desires.” You continued to press your joke on.

At this point, Sanemi was full on flustered as he nodded his head and finally looked into your eyes.

“Of course.” He said with determination and resolve written all over his face. “I’d do anything for you.”

You felt your heart melt at his words as he slipped your ring on and a sincere and delicate smile played on your lips. You only gazed at him, not caring what the ring looked like. It could have been made out of iron for all your care and you would’ve worn it like it was the most expensive piece of jewelry you owned.

“I love it.” You whispered not even once peering down at it, but instead looking down at Sanemi’s bashful expression.

His long eyelashes fluttered to meet yours and a shy smile lit up his handsome face making you feel all warm inside.

“I love you.” He murmured.

Your eyes widened at his words and now it was your turn to become bashful.

He caught wind of your expression and he felt all too self aware at the weight of his own words, though he had meant them wholeheartedly. “I mean–! If that’s okay–”

Your hand had grasped the cloth of his collar as you pulled him down into a kiss. One that shut him up nice and good as you shared a sweet moment that you had been yearning for. His lips were soft and plush and the moment didn’t last very long, nevertheless, it was perfect. The sound of his breath hitching and the vibration of his heart thrumming against his chest catching up to your own. Your lips left yours gently and slowly.

“I love you, too,” You murmured before gazing into his eyes. “‘Nemi.”

His face contorted into embarrassment at the mentioning of the nickname causing you to fold over in laughter.

“Don’t say things like that, idiot.” He grumbled.

“Say what? That I love you? You said it first.” You teased as you got into his personal space again causing him to scramble and then finally stumbling over with you on top of him.

He caught you before you had hurt yourself and his arms were secured tightly around you as you straddled him.

He blinked several times trying to register what was going on. Your taunting smile grew as you leaned forward.

“See you’re already performing your duty as a good husband.”

Realization had hit him when he understood your lewd words and you laughed at him as you cuddled into him.

“I’m kidding.” You laid next to him in the grass as you kissed his cheek.

The fireflies lit up the world around you in contrast to the inky sky that was littered with stars. THe grass shifted beneath you and you noticed that Sanemi was looking at you now as he brushed away the hairs that were covering your face.

“I’ll do my best.”

You gave him a reassuring smile as you leaned your forehead against his.

“That’s all I ask.”

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toorutsumu · 3 years

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HAIKYUU BOYFRIENDS (INARIZAKI EDITION)

Just some random boyfie🥺 stuff with cute pictures ily

Suna

He's a chill boyf, doesn't need anything extra like social media bragging and stuff, just needs your presence in his room while he listens to music and smokes stuff (you both have matching custom made bongs im sorry i dont make the rules)

He only uses his phone to take candid pictures of you doing random stuff like brushing your teeth after staying the night (he sees you bending over the sink in his oversized shirt and panties and gets hard while also thinking you're a work of art and he's soft for you🥺🥺🥺)

Most of your dates include staying in, watching movies and shows and cuddling -he likes gory slasher horror movies and makes you watch all of them- you both usually order in a bunk of junk food but sometimes you have cute cooking dates when you guys bake special brownies and cookies

When y'all go out, its usually trips to the skate parks to meet his friends and group dates with his volleyball friends. If you bring him to hangout with your friends he'll grumble alot but will end up coming because he likes you and wants to stay with you 😭

He loves having you around, and although he isn't very over protective he doesn't like it when you get upset because of someone and will glare at them with fox eyes till they back off🦊🦊🦊

He gives you his hoodies for a week and then takes them back just so they smell like you and this becomes a cycle so you end up having different hoodies and jackets every week

LAZY MAKEOUT SESSIONS ON THE COUCH YES YES YES his hand holding ghe back of your neck tilting your face towards him , slow kisses and neck biting im crying:")

Atsumu

Y'all are the crackhead couple lmao well not really you actually help calm him down when he's over excited and he's so energetic that you always have adrenaline pumping through you when you hang out with him

Your dates are mostly outdoors like adventure parks and arcades , you always end up laughing and smiling with a lot of goodie bags full of gifts and souvenirs

If you get tired physically (which lets be honest you might be at the end of dates w this man who can match his energy) he'll be a perfect boyfriend and carry you on his back, so you end up getting a lot (A LOT) of piggy back rides

He buys you tons of stuff all the time, he's always thinking of you when he has to do something other than volleyball, even when hd goes to a convenience store he'll get your favourite snacks and drinks, god bless him when he goes to the mall he'll pick up whole ass outfits for you

Making out in semi public places is your thing- photobooths, roller coaster seats and those private cafe booths all the way in the back

But he can be soft and peaceful for you, takes you to picnic dates where he just lays his head on you lap while you both talk about stuff , you will always end up laughing at his antics and both of you will have very visible heart eyes for each other throughout🥺🥺🥺

Osamu

PERFECT BOYFRIEND aaaaaa i love him😭😭😭

He's just so sweet, will listen to you talk for hours at end ,thinks your voice is perfect , cups your face in his big hands randomly, will bend down to kiss you so that you dont have to stand on your toes to kiss him

He cooks your favourite food and brings them to you in pastel bentos and hands them over to you all shy without making eye contacts but as soon as you start eating his eyes are on your face watching every reaction , you love his food and he loves cooking for you y'all perfect uwu

You guys have very lowkey dates in cute cafes and public parks with long walks hand in hand, he does that thing with his jacket where he zips it open , brings you to his chest and zips it up over you and you're small compared to him so only a small part of your head peeks out aw🥺

He loves posting pictures of you and food together, those pictures in which the table is filled with aesthetically pleasing food and you look so cute and blushy he just cant help but blush too

He kisses you on the doorstep of your house after dates which usually turn into long drawn out kisses , but he's so sweet he wont push for more until you literally drag him into your house for more kisses😠😠😠

Kita

Oh my god he's the cutest he's always so blushy when you hold his hand and will say yes to everything you say because he's so flustered by you dont tease him too much he might combust

He's strict with his teammates but with you he practically melts in your arms, when you hug him by wrapping your arms around his waste from behind he always turns a shade of pink, will shower you with kisses in private

Thinks you are perfect, will have a dazed smile on his face when he stares at you which is all of the time, gets very distracted by you just walking into the room

Buys you both matching pastel hoodies and soft knitted sweaters to keeps u both warm and cuddly, drapes himself over you when he's tired and loves it when you pat his head

When you meet his grandmother, you're very nervous that she might not like you but he tells you that ge thinks youre the best person on earth (he's a poetic mf sorry) and he's sure his grandmother will think the same

Your parents LOVE him, kinda want to hang out with him more, even let him spend the night in your room (excuse me 2 teenagers in a room a full night where did your parents what how im shocked) and he takes full advantage of this, kissing you while doing mundane domestic stuff like doing homework, brushing your teeth aaaaa

He goes on group dates with you and your friends and talks to everyone very politely but always also gives you attention making sure you're having fun you're his no. 1 priority🥺🥺🥺🥺he loves to take care of his baby

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klugpuuo · 3 years

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almost every puyo~tet single-character headcanon wie have

every character we've put more than three minutes of thought into are gonna be in this post. this *does* leave out a lot of characters, but still includes so many that hopefully that'll make up for it. ^also i forgot about this entirely while writing and tried to add a few characters i literally never think about everat all so you get extra funny commentary i guess

welp! enjoy the ride. and dont forget to like, comment, and subscribe (/lh)

warnings: mentions food, implied self-harm, delusions (not inherently triggering but still), general violence, some madou-era content, death. (more to be added + ask to tag) none of the things mentioned are in much detail.

Madou Monogatari / OG Puyo~Puyo characters:

Arle – 16 (chronologically 20 due to the Madou time stop but doesn’t realize it), has PTSD and ADHD + nonbinary transfem + sex-repulsed and questioning (she/he/they)

Assorted headcanons:

-Her armor was made into a sort of magical puberty blocker by her grandmother, who knew Arle was trans and wanted her to live her life to the fullest. -Although she has never been in an (official) romantic relationship, she’s usually the first person her friends go to for relationship advice. -She stims a lot, usually by twirling her hair around or jumping.

Relationship headcanons:

Partners: She’s in a vaguely romantic relationship with Serilly. “Vaguely” as in they go on dates frequently, kiss a lot, and would live together if they could, but neither is sure if they are actually dating. Friends: She adores Ringo and Amitie and wants to protect both of them – not in the super creepy and sorta patronizing way, but in the “she really cares about them and their well-being” way. Despite thinking that Schezo is an absolute fool at times, she still cares about him quite a bit. She’s come to regret what she did all those years ago, and is determined to make sure that Schezo never remembers it.

Schezo – ~200, has ADHD and PTSD + transmasc + homosexual (he/it/gore)

Assorted headcanons:

-Although he can be away from his sword, it’s bonded to his body so strongly that if he is too far away from it for too long he becomes incredibly weak. -He borrowed a thesaurus from Aya and Klug and is not planning on ever giving it back. -He doesn’t remember a single thing that happened before Puyo~7, and can hardly remember anything from then until Puyo~Tetris 2. -After learning about tone indicators, he begins to put “/nx” at the end of *all* of his messages online. Although a few people make fun of him for it, many people find it either endearing or some form of cool, and he’s affectionately known as “the /nx anon” in a few social circles. -His main special interests are forging and dark magic (good for him <3)

Relationship headcanons:

Crushes: He has a slight crush on Lemres, and thinks that Incubus is.. interesting. He also thinks Witch is cute but can’t tell if that’s a crush or what. (Good) friends: He considers Arle to be his best friend, and she’s usually the first person he’d go to for anything. The two actually lived together for a while. Although he thinks Rulue is a fool at times, he still cares about her and thinks she’s pretty impressive. Enemies...?: He once was always looking to pick a fight with Satan, but after (rather awkwardly) remembering that he once saw the prince as a father, he mostly stopped doing that.

Rulue – ~40-ish?, experiences delusions + cis lass + questioning (she/her and a few neopronouns)

Assorted headcanons:

-She’s not sure why there are so many people who are like her and at this point she’s wondering if it really is just a coincidence. -She secretly wishes that she could join Arle, Schezo and Witch’s arm-wrestling sessions, but as they’ve been going on for so long without her she feels almost awkward asking. -Although she still experiences delusions sometimes, she’s gotten a lot better at telling what’s true and what’s false.

Relationship headcanons:

Partner… sorta?: She’s sort of in a QPR with Raffina, and they go on platonic dates a lot. (Good) friends: She’s quite good friends with Arle, especially since she’s no longer chasing after Satan. Speaking of Satan, as she’s no longer absolutely obsessed with him she’s actually beginning to get along well with him, and the two regularly have friendly battles.

Witch – >16, might be NT + cis lass + omni (she/it)

Assorted headcanons:

-The only thing she can transform people or things into without help of a potion is mushrooms. -She’s surprisingly strong and quite good at arm wrestling. -She’s not sure if she had any sort of neurodiversities, but she doesn’t really care either way.

Relationship headcanons:

Crushes…?: She might have feelings for Arle, but even she doesn’t have any clue. She’s also.. interested in Feli, as she sees Feli as quite the interesting person. Family: She’s an orphan, although she doesn’t mind it. (Good) friends: She’s okay-ish friends with Schezo, and the two usually do arm wrestling matches with Arle in their free time.

Satan – ~3000<, only god knows + cis trans man (somehow less than a joke) + pansexual (he/it)

Assorted headcanons:

-As he’s so old and has changed his physical appearance so many times, he’s completely forgotten his original sex, if he even had one. -After getting very literally schooled by Raffina, he realized that his plans to acquire Arle were just never going to work, and after a while of self-reflection he decided that he’d rather spend the rest of eternity doing other things he liked than chasing around an underage lass. -Due to having completely remade the world himself, he feels almost completely disconnected from it. All the people he used to know.. aren’t the same, and it’s destroying him.

Relationship headcanons:

Partners: Misses his dead wife a lot, but is now happily dating (nd half-joke married to) Ex (Chosen) family: After Satan had a good long think about everything, he realized that he did actually care about Lidelle a lot, and now properly sees her as a little sister. Friends: He’s on good terms with Rulue and actually properly hangs out with her sometimes. -

Serilly – >16, has anxiety and experiences delusions + trans lass + questioning (she/her)

Assorted headcanons:

-hgnggng operea

Relationship headcanons:

Partners: She may or may not be dating Arle. (Chosen) family: Although she’s presumably an orphan, she has Suketoudara, who she sees as an older brother figure. Best friend: She platonically loves Harpy a lot, and the two of them spend a lot of time together. - Suketoudara – ~30, NT + about as cis guy as a fish can get + polysexual (he/him)

Assorted headcanons:

-I literally do not think about this guy

Relationship headcanons:

Sibling serilly

Puyo Fever (2) characters:

Amitie – 14 and a half, autistic + binary transfem + fem-leaning panromantic (she/fae/flare)

Assorted headcanons:

-She found out that she was trans when she was 7 years old, and managed to convince her parents to let her transition when she was 12. -She taught herself how to bake, and Arle taught her how to cook more salty things. She regularly makes lunches for her friends, even if they already have their own. -She cares a lot about Sig’s ladybug friend and usually “babysits” them when Sig has to leave to wherever. -Raffina and her are the only two with two parents who haven’t divorced and/or died, but as Amitie's parents are almost always at work she doesn't get to talk to them very much. -She stims by twirling her hair when it’s long, or squishing a puyo-shaped stress ball when it’s short.

Relationship headcanons:

Partners: She’s in a QPR with Sig and Klug, and says she wouldn’t give it up for the world. Crushes: She has a huge crush on Ringo, and a squish on Ess, but she doesn’t think either of them feel the same way. (Chosen) family: She feels rather lucky having contact with both her mother and father, as most of her friends don’t have contact with their own parents. Also, she looks up to Arle a lot, and sees them as an older sibling. Friends(?): Nobody can tell what exactly her relationship with Raffina is, but the most common theory is that they’ve kissed at least twice. Even during Lidelle’s fight with Sig, Amitie supported her, knowing she truly did regret her actions and it was mostly just a big misunderstanding.

Klug – 14 and three quarts, autistic and has ADHD + transmasc nonbinary + ace/aroflux (he/they/wir)

Assorted headcanons:

-Although he had initially asked to be called by neopronouns just as a joke, he found he actually liked the wir/worm set a lot, and now tends to go by that exclusively on some days. -On one night he doesn’t remember, all of his cosmetic glasses were mysteriously destroyed, along with all his contact lenses. After that, he stuck to just one pair of functional glasses -He was gifted an “EiPod” by Ringo and Amitie, although only the latter took credit for it. -He stims by humming, writing, and aggressively cleaning his glasses.

Relationship headcanons:

Partners: He’s in a QPR with Sig and Amitie, and secretly wants to leave Primp and travel the world with them both. Chosen family: He sees Feli as both a rival and a sister, and now has come to see Lemres as an older-sibling figure of sorts. Friend: He’s on good terms with Lidelle, and she’s one of the only people who’s younger than he is that he still treats with respect. Rivals(?): He thinks Raffina is pretty rude, and he never lets her go without remembering that he’s better friends with Amitie than she is for more than a month.

Sig – 15, autistic and has ADHD + transmasc demilad + biromantic (he/bug/they/it)

Assorted headcanons:

-Doesn’t consider any sort of bug to be his “favorite”, but has a soft spot for ladybeetles, stag beetles and fireflies. -After a failed attempt at acquiring Sig’s power, Aya accidentally gave Sig half of its own power, causing Sig to become slightly more than just a half-demon. -After he scratched himself one too many times, Amitie and Lidelle worked together to make a glove for Sig’s claw hand. -His main special interests are both bugs and history, and he usually stims by repeating words he likes.

Relationship headcanons:

Partners: He’s mostly queerplatonic, partially romantic partners with both Amitie and Klug. During the first half week of their relationship, he was the only one the two felt comfortable cuddling with, which he was completely fine with. Family: Although initially Sig and Aya were almost enemies, they managed to reach an agreement after being left alone together and now see each other as both family and friends. Friends: He’s pretty good friends with Lidelle, and he helps her with bug-related problems whenever she has any. He’s also pretty good friends with Raffina even if they don’t hang out much and he still has trouble with her name. Enemies: Schezo.

Raffina – 16, has (canonical) imposter syndrome + transfem + pansexual demiromantic (she/her)

Assorted headcanons:

-As her family is very upper middle class, she was able to medically transition almost immediately after coming out. -She once tried to start a Primp Town Fight Club. It did not go well. -She’s the only person aside from Amitie that has two parents that did not abandon her and are not divorced. Unlike Amitie, however, only her mother works, so she gets to talk to her father frequently.

Relationship headcanons:

Crush: She secretly wants to kiss Lidelle really badly. (Good) friends: Although she was slightly distanced from them during the whole fight ordeal, she’s quite good friends with all the ASK trio. She’s pretty friendly with Ess.

Lidelle – 14, has social anxiety + cis lass + questioning (she/her)

Assorted headcanons:

-She feels genuinely sorry for what she did and said to Sig and those bugs, and she’s proud of herself for apologizing. -She likes playing with marbles and has made pretty big marble “race” courses in the past. -She doubts her self-worth a lot, and is worried that others don’t take her very seriously.

Relationship headcanons:

Chosen family: Despite not having any surviving biological family, she’s found a family in the form of Draco and Satan, who have been taking care of her for some time now. Best friend: Lidelle hangs out with Raffina almost constantly, and she considers Raf to be her very best friend. Good friends.. again: After a very large fight with Sig over the fact that her flesh-eating plants killed some of his bugs, she and Sig stopped being friends for a bit. After a lot of talking with Amitie and Raffina, she realized her mistake, and she apologized to Sig – and to her surprise, Sig apologized back. Even during the fight, she and Amitie stayed friends, and Ami gave her a lot of emotional support. She looks up to Klug, although Klug sees her as an equal and even spares a warm smile for her during some of his most jerk-y moments.

Lemres – 35, autistic, has SAD and PTSD + transmasc and nonbinary + aroflux/aceflux (they/them, he/him and any candy-related neopronouns)

Assorted headcanons:

-They are actually entirely blind due to personal reasons, and sewed their eyes shut as to not freak others out too much. They “see” by feeling the magic of their environment, and cannot “see” in low-magic areas (they also cannot read faces. At all.) -They have a sort of “vacation house” near Primp which they visit during the summer or any free time they have. The fact that it was built so close to Primp was a coincidence, but something they like very much. -Schezo occasionally “visits” the vacation house for a few months before running off on some random adventure for whatever reason. -Their broom was broken, presumably by Witch as they had fought with her not too long before that. -Su has a certain type of magic that allows sucre to read minds (or at least meaning). -His type of magic does not work on demons for a plethora of reasons. -They usually stim by twirling their staff around and messing with what remains of their broom.

Relationship headcanons:

Partners: They’re in a weird sort-of relationship with Schezo. The relationship informally started after Schezo assisted Lemres during a restless period and it doesn’t seem to be stopping any time soon. (Chosen) family: Although they want to keep their distance from their biological family, they’ve found a new family in Primp in the form of the ASK trio (Good) friends: They’re very close to Accord, having know her since Highschool (and even before she made Poipoi).

Feli – 16 and a half, experiences delusions and has disorders + transfem + bisexual (she/her evi/evil go/goth)

Assorted headcanons:

-Rather compulsory heterosexuality with her. She doesn’t actually have that much love for Lemres, mainly just lust and a feeling that she has to date or marry him. -She personally believes sharing one’s birthday with someone else is a sign of extreme trust due to Zodiac reasons. -She feels like her gender is influenced by gothic aesthetics, but can’t really describe it further.

Relationship headcanons:

Crushes: She still very obviously has a crush on Lemres, although it’s starting to lessen now that Lemres is in a closed relationship. (Chosen) family: She sees Klug as an annoying little brother, although he’s marginally more mature than she is. (Good) friends: She’s pretty good friends with Lidelle and Raffina.

Accord/Poipoi – ???? + cis lass and agender respectively + god knows (she/her for accord, he/it for poipoi)

Assorted headcanons:

-Accord secretly really likes hitting things with her hammer to the point where she’d go quite far in order to get a chance to do so. However, she would never readily admit this as she finds it to be incredibly childish. -Only Accord knows what happened to Lemres’s eyes. -During Highschool, Accord enchanted a puppet and gave it its own thoughts, personality, dreams, etc. That puppet was quite obviously Poipoi.

Relationship headcanons:

(Good) friends: Accord is close friends with Lemres, having known him since Highschool (she was his upperclassman by a few years) and never passes up a chance to talk to him. Poipoi managed to make friends with Aya in a particularly independent moment where it ran away.

Ayashii – >800, has a lot of trauma + whats a gender + (it/any neos/they/he/she)

Assorted headcanons:

-It genuinely forgot what a gender was because gender is so unimportant to it. -It somehow found a way to continue being friends with the puppy it rescued, even going so far as to teaching them the difference between it and Klug. -As it has extreme claustrophobia, it tends to take very long walks whenever it’s using Klug’s body.

Relationship headcanons:

Crushes???: Aya has some interest in Lemres and Schezo, but isn’t entirely sure what kind of interest. (Chosen) family: It’s beginning to see Klug as a son of sorts, and recognizes Sig as its descendent. huh what: It doesn’t trust Accord at all, especially knowing (and being friends with) Poipoi as an individual.

Yu and Rei - ??? + phasmaeic + (both use she/he/they gho/ghost spec/spectre and dar/dark)

- - -

Relationship headcanons:

Puyo~7 characters:

Ringo – 16, ??? + questioning (demigirl?) + bisexual (she/they)

Assorted headcanons:

-She’s questioning pretty much every single thing about her identity and beliefs to the point where she’s actually been having frequent migraines because of it. -She’s not at all proud to admit it, but she’s not-so-secretly envious of Maguro’s “beauty beam”. -She eats a LOT of things that you’re not meant to eat, to the point where everyone except for Sig (who does the same) is worried for her.

Relationship headcanons:

Crushes: She has small crushes on both Amitie and Tee, although she likes Amitie a *bit* more. Epic friends: She’s best friends with Maguro, and he’s one of the few people she properly trusts (not for edgy reasons, just because). A lot of people assume she’s dating him, which makes her feel pretty uncomfortable, but she doesn’t feel like she can really blame them.

Maguro – 16, has ADHD and PTSD (latter from AU) + questioning + bisexual (he/they)

Assorted headcanons:

-He’s questioning the same stuff as Ringo, although he’s a lot more chill about it. -He was pretty scarred, emotionally and physically, after an unfortunate incident concerning a badly thought-out prank, a fishing net, and a timer set to one month -He remembers all of his trauma in perfect clarity, and has good memory overall.

Relationship headcanons:

Partner:He’s been in a romantic relationship with Tee for a few months, and so far it’s been really nice. Best friend: He’s best friends with Ringo, and he feels really comfortable around her. They share almost everything, and are planning on moving in together once they get the chance to have a proper house. Good friends: Although Ris moved away to study abroad a while back, they still send a lot of gifts and letters to him on a regular basis. Also, they’ve been staying in contact with Ess ever since the whole beauty pageant thing and the two go shopping when they’re both free.

Risukuma – 19, NT + trans man + male-leaning pansexual (he/him)

Assorted headcanons:

-He’s incredibly interested in all types of love -After graduating school, he decided to study abroad to learn more about other cultures (and of course, love). -He really likes music, even having written some of his own songs in the past. One of his favorite bands is IDKHOW.

Relationship headcanons:

Partner: Despite only having interacted a few times, he’s quite good “friends” with Ai. Good friends: After moving away from Suzuran, he’s not been able to hang out with Ringo or Maguro as much, but he still sends them letters and gifts on a regular basis. What: He does not want to know about Ecolo. Do not tell him about Ecolo.

Ecolo – ageless and has so many disorders (affectionate??) + gender + probably so (it/they/he/she/other in that order)

Assorted headcanons:

-If asked, it would describe its gender as “Once In A Lifetime” by Talking Heads. -It’s trying really really hard to respect Ringo’s boundaries nowadays, and not just because she refused to acknowledge its existence for a whole week after it accidentally hurt her. -It can change into its human form at will; however, if it wants to stay in that form for more than a few hours at a time, it has to actually sleep for several days straight. -In its humanoid form, it sports several scars. -It genuinely loves fidget spinners and has this really creepy one it carries everywhere.

Relationship headcanons:

Crush: You know it wants to kiss Ringo so bad. Friends: Ex-friends with Satan because Ringo hates him. Pretty alright friends with Ex and Marle, not entirely sure what to think about Squares. Uh…: After.. an accident it caused, Maguro started to be able to remember it.

Puyo~Tetris characters:

Tee – 16, + trans man + questioning (he/him)

Assorted headcanons:

-He can’t pronounce any name longer than four letters long. Somehow, the worst case of this is with Ringo and Maguro’s names. -Having transitioned at a very young age and only interacting with one lass for most of his life, he has a lot of internalized sexism. After Ringo points this out, he starts trying to work on it, but he hasn’t been doing very well so far. -He’s also trying really hard to find a balance between being too basic and too over-the-top, but..

Relationship headcanons:

Partner: He’s been in a romantic relationship with Maguro for a few months. It’s been really nice, but as this is his first relationship he tends to go all-out with everything, causing Maguro to get rather flustered. Crush: Although he’s very hesitant to admit it, he has a pretty big crush on Ringo and wants to kiss her. Chosen family: O is his parent, Ess and Ai are his siblings, and the twins are his messed up if true gay cousins. Friend: He’s pretty good friends with Sig because of their shared inability to correctly pronounce Raffina’s name.

O – infinite, ??? + ???? + probably gay? ????? (any and all pronouns)

Assorted headcanons:

-I cannot reasonably take myself seriously trying to make headcanons for this godforsaken cloud cube -Squares themself made this thing (on accident?) -Anger management issues incarnate

Relationship headcanons:

Parnter: Kissed Carbuncle once eChidle: Tee is its son

Ex – ~40, has autism, minor intrusive thoughts and (canon) depression + some form of Guy + yes (he/they)

Assorted headcanons:

-He’s not sure how he identifies gender- and sexuality-wise and feels as if he’s too old to try to figure that out (which isn’t true, but still) -He genuinely misses Ess and Ai a lot and is unendingly grateful for the chance to see them both again. -His intrusive thoughts are usually fairly easy to deal with, but can sometimes get pretty bad if he’s left alone for too long.

Relationship headcanons:

Partners: I’m pretty sure he has an ex-wife somewhere and that scares me. Also he kisses Satan every day of his life (Chosen) family: He misses his children, Ess and Ai, so much. (Good) friends: He’s become reluctant friends with Ecolo, and very good friends with Marle and Squares.

Jay & Elle – 13, autistic and have separation anxiety + nonbinary + ??? (they/them)

Assorted headcanons:

-Individually they’re okay with all pronouns, but nobody can reasonably refer to them as separate entities. -After a few people asked them, they stopped bullying Ai as much, but they still “prank” him a lot. -They were separated exactly once. It was not a very good time for them.

Relationship headcanons:

Partners:They’re queerplatonic partners with Yu and Rei, since that’s just kind of what happens when you’re two sets of evil twins who like bothering others. Friends: They don’t really have many friends as their creepiness scares people off a lot, but they like hanging out with Ecolo (even if they forget about it a lot)

Ai – 20, has pretty severe anxiety + transmasc + bisexual (he/him)

Assorted headcanons:

-He found out that he was trans after he managed to get a sort of wi-fi thing going during a five-month-long stay in a densely-packed asteroid belt. He had actually medically transitioned before that, but nobody on the SS Tetra had the word for it. -He has exactly one large scar from a prank gone horribly wrong. Otherwise, he’s not been seriously injured by anything the twins have done. - Recently he’s started to become slightly braver in general thanks to a lot of therapy and emotional support from his boyfriend, this has allowed him to stand up to the twins a lot more. He is also more physically strong, and plans to drop kick them both someday.

Relationship headcanons:

Partner: He kisses Risukuma on the daily Chosen family: As he canonically sees Ex as a father, he headcanonically sees Ess as a sister. Pure hatred(/j): He’s no longer as afraid of the tetra twins, and sometimes even manages to prank them back on good days.

Ess – ~15, only ex knows. Has serious abandonment issues, apparently canon(?!?!) PTSD, and so many things + cis demilass + lesbiab (she/they/ze)

Assorted headcanons:

-She actually has a job, and on the last weekend of every month she goes shopping with Maguro (or Amitie if he’s busy) on Saturday and Raffina on Sunday with the money she gets. -She kinda wishes that she were more physically strong for a multitude of minor reasons. -Ess doesn’t actually know how to say Ringo’s name and tries really hard to hide that fact.

Relationship headcanons:

Crushes:She’s absolutely in love with Amitie, although she’s in very deep denial about it. Chosen family: She sees Ai as a brother, and the two bond over the fact that Ex totally ditched them to go patch up dimensions or whatever. Speaking of Ex, she’s very recently found it in her heart to maybe forgive him for leaving her when she was young, although she still is a long ways away from seeing him as a father again. Friends: She and Raffina hang out and talk about their insecurities a lot.

Zed – uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (he/him)

Assorted headcanons:

-uhhhhhhhhhh -I genuinely don’t think of this guy He reminds me too much of my ex-chosen-father -…to be added.

Relationship headcanons:

Ess is his belovt daughter that’s all you need to know.

Additional headcanons:

-Most of the Madou Monogatari gang feel entirely disconnected from what’s left of their humanity, so they identify with it/its along with whichever other pronouns they use. -Sig, Dark Sig, and the evil Sig from Sig’s Secret are all different entities. -Speaking of Dark Sig, they can actually purr, although Sig himself cannot. Klug thinks this is incredibly interesting and actually conducted several half-serious experiments to try to figure out why. -All of the SS Tetra crew see each other as family, although some have more clearly defined views of that. None of them have any romantic or sexual interest in any other member.

#ALSO IF ANyone has any questions please ask pleas #beeper canon #pinned post #puyo puyo #puyo puyo tetris #madou monogatari #<again #only mentioned #headcanon #headcanons #long post #im tempted to tag the characters but thatd be too long time for me to do so #enjiy

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that-sarcastic-writer · 4 years

Text

Once upon a time in NYU- MGG AU

Fandom: MGG, Criminal Minds

Pairing: College!Matthew X College!Reader

Summary: you couldn't stand Matthew, and he couldn't stand you. But you couldn't say the same when you were in his bed

Warnings: alternative universe, enemies to lovers relationship, cursing duh, hair pulling, fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, bad writing basically

WC: 6.1k

A/N: so I saw I think it was @eideticmemory write an enemies to lovers college fic and like a light just went on in my head, and I really wanted to that because I've always wanted to, but also give it my own twist and touch of course, so I guess this my attempt at writing a multi-chapter Matthew fic. Will I succeed? Probably not. But it's a good excuse to write smut after a year so we'll see. ALSO HUGE TW I understand posting this now might be a bit of a bad timing. So if you think that reading this will trigger you in any way, just go ahead and skip this one. I dont want to trigger anyone in any way, I just want to entertain you guys and myself in the process so yeah, read at your own risk and please please stay safe. And this is going to be a bit long so strap in yall and enjoy the poorly written sin.

Andddd huge huge thanks to my friend Kara (idk if shes reading this but yeah) for helping me edit this, she helped me make this so much better for you guys and she literally so amazing for actually spending the time to help me. So yeah,

You know when something bad happens, you’re always told to see the bright side of things? That maybe that unfortunate event isn’t as bad as you feel it is? Yeah, well, that doesn’t always apply, and it certainly didn’t when I found out I was partnered with the one person I was hoping I wouldn’t get paired with for my end of the semester film project.

Seriously, out of the nearly hundred students that were enrolled in my film class, I had to get paired up with him, him out of all people, literally the one person I was praying wouldn't get paired up with. Not only because I was forced to work with someone, because honestly all I wanted was to work alone, I had to get paired with Matthew fucking Gubler.

You know when people say God has his favourites? Yeah, well I certainly wasn't one of them.

Now, I didn’t necessarily hate Matthew Gubler. I didn't hate him for no reason, I didn't just wake up one day and decided I was just going to hate Matthew. There was a time where I actually liked him, I liked him more than I'd like to admit, deep down I still did. And I knew he liked me too, he did then at least. And we were good together, it was fun, we had a fun first couple of dates. To this day, they were the nicest dates I ever had, because he knew just how to make them special. I mean, when a guy takes you to the Neue Galerie here in New York and have nice long walk through Central Park, a walk filled with laughter and bliss, it has to be special, and in a weird way, he was special too.

And as much as I wanted more than just two or three dates, I would've been perfectly fine if he had told me what he wanted from the start. If he had suddenly changed his mind about me, I would've accepted it, and I would've been able to live a happy life as his friend if that's what he wanted.

But he didn't, and instead I found out he had other interests. And I didn't hear it from him, I heard it from my friend. She didn't even need to tell me who it was, because the minute she told me where he took her, I knew. He took her to the same place he took me not even two weeks later and then acted like I was nothing the next time he saw me. And my god did that fucking hurt. It hurt me in a way I had never been hurt before, because I thought he was different, I was hoping he was. And convincing myself that I hated him was much easier than facing the fact that it hurt. And I never addressed it ever again, not that Matthew cared enough to actually talk about us, or, whatever we were. So instead we just made each other's existence miserable.

No, what I felt for Matthew wasn't hate, it was just the strong need to stay ten feet away from him so I wouldn't shove a five foot pole up his ass. That's how I felt about Matthew Gubler.

And now, here I was, aggressively shoving my laptop and notebook into my bag so I could leave the auditorium as quickly as possible, or at least quick enough to avoid Matthew, because knowing how he was, he would come straight to me to rub our partnership in my face. And I was right, because the minute we were dismissed, I spotted his lanky frame starting to come down from the top rows where he usually sat, and he was headed my way.

Screaming a big nope in my head, I strapped my bag over my shoulder and headed straight for the exit. I knew I couldn't avoid him forever, especially now but, I just needed a minute to mentally prepare myself to deal with him, a minute and probably a bottle of booze. But I didn't get either because the minute I was out those doors, I heard the unmistakable sound of his voice calling my name.

Great.

"Y/N! Y/N wait!" I heard Matthew call out, followed my rushed footsteps coming from behind me.

"Hey, partner, I'm glad I caught you before you left. You weren't trying to run away from me were you?" He teased, throwing one of his particularly long arms over my shoulder.

If I had rolled my eyes any harder they probably would've gotten stuck there. I groaned, grabbing a hold of his arm and unwrapping it not so subtly before dropping it beside him, "first of all, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't touch me, and second of all, just please go away, Matthew. I have a class I have to get to." I muttered, walking slightly faster and keeping my gaze forward, refusing to even look at him.

If there was something I've learned about Matthew in the two long years I've known him is that he usually goes away on his own if I don't give him the attention he wanted. I was hoping this was one of those times, because I was not in the mood to deal with him right now.

But alas, he didn't, he walked faster, staying beside me the whole time. "But I wasn't even doing anything. I was just saying hi." He defended, and I could just hear the smile on his face even when I wasn't even looking at him.

I rolled my eyes harder, letting out a small breath through my lips, "what do you want Matthew?"

"When can we meet up? I already have an idea for our project and I think you're going to love it."

I chuckled sarcastically, finding his words actually hilarious, "If you came up with it I seriously doubt it." I sighed heavily, digging my teeth into my bottom lip before speaking, "tonight after I finish my shift, I guess. The quicker we can start, the quicker we can get it over with, soo..."

"Great. It's a date then, see you tonight, sweetheart." He hummed, ghosting his lips over my ear, his lips smacking loudly as he pretended to kiss it before he quickly took off in the other direction before I could even say anything.

This fucking guy.

~~~~~~~~~~

"I seriously do not understand how you fucking dated this guy, he's so obnoxious and annoying, how could anyone want to date someone like that." I complained to my friend and roommate Liz. I met her for a quick lunch break before my afternoon class and I just had to let her know how unhappy I was about my partnership with Matthew. She was amused to say the least.

"You make it sound like we dated for years, we dated for a few months, but he's not even that bad." she argued.

I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest and leaned back into my seat with an unamused expression, just waiting for Liz to bury herself further up Matthew's ass. I always had the feeling she still had feelings for him, as much as she insisted it was just a meaningless relationship. And as much as they were just friends now, I just knew she wanted more with him. But it wasn't really my place to question that, not that it mattered to me anyway.

"He's a pretty cool and fun guy to be around, you just never gave him a chance. You've hated him ever since you met him for absolutely no reason, you never gave yourself the chance to get to know him better." Liz insisted, she always did. She always insisted Matthew was such a great guy I never gave the change to get to know.

I had let out a heavy sigh in annoyance of her defense of Matthew before responding, "yeah well, it doesn't really matter since I'm being forced to anyway. And he's coming over tonight to start our project. Can't fucking wait."

I could've sworn I saw Liz's expression change into a mixture of surprise and something I could've easily confused with jealousy. She pursed her lips together and her eyes darted everywhere, like she was avoiding making any kind of eye contact with me.

But, it couldn't be jealousy? What even is there to be jealous of? Her and the whole world knew how I felt about Matthew, her out of all people knew it better than anyone.

"Oh, he is? Well, I'm not really going to be home tonight, I would've given you company so it wouldn't be so awkward with him." She frowned, she sounded disappointed, angry even. She looked uncomfortable, like she was deeply bothered by something, by something I said.

It was weird, I wasn't exactly sure what to say, I wasn't really sure why my news seemed to bother her as much as it did. It's not like I was going to sleep with Matthew while she was away or something. It didn't really matter though, I didn't have time to answer. Thank God.

"I'm sorry Liz but I have to go, I have class in like ten minutes." I excused myself, eating whatever was left on my plate in a matter of seconds before I stood up from my seat and gathered my belongings, "I'll see you later and wish me luck." I said quickly before taking off, not giving her the chance to respond.

~~~~~~~~~~

Usually, I pray for shifts to be over as soon as possible, for it to be slow so I can go home early. Today though, today I prayed for just the opposite. I was hoping the end of my shift wouldn't come, and when it did, that it would be too late and I would be able to cancel my meet up with Matthew.

But like I said, I wasn't one of God's favourites. And today out of all days, it was the slowest it has ever been and my shift ended rather quickly, quicker than I had hoped.

Groaning loudly at the evening that awaited me, I walked down the long halls of my floor, standing outside of my dorm room, dreading my evening already.

Figuring I should just get it over with, I went to get the key on the lock of my door, but noticed it was already unlocked. Liz probably forgot to lock the door, again. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head at my stupid roommate before turning the knob, opening the door. And my jaw dropped the minute I stepped into the room, not believing what my eyes saw.

You've got to be fucking kidding me.

"Matthew, what the fuck are you doing in my dorm and in my bed!? How did you even get in here?" I nearly screamed at the tall brunette that was carelessly laying on my bed with what I figured was one of my books in his hand.

Matthew turned his head towards me, a carefree and calm look plastered all over his face before his eyes went back to the pages in front of him., "oh, well, Liz let me in before she went to work. I hope you don't mind." He responded nonchalantly, continuing to flick through the pages of the book he had in his hand.

I stared at him with absolute disbelief and a loud scoff left my lips as I slightly pitched the bridge of my nose, trying not to throw the nearest object at his face, "yes, I do mind, in fact. You can't just come into somebody's dorm, lie on their bed and go through their stuff. Seriously dude, what is wrong with you?"

I just couldn't believe this guy. He just knew how to get on my nerves without even doing anything.

Matthew, of course, couldn't have cared any less about whatever I was saying. And it wasn't that he wasn't listening, because he was, he had that stupid smile on his face that proved he was in fact listening to every word I was saying. He just didn't care, or he did, but he just liked getting on my nerves. He loved pushing every single one of my buttons until I snapped. And I had no idea why. I had no idea why he liked annoying me so much.

I exhaled heavily through my nose, closing my eyes slightly as I ran a hand through my hair exasperatedly, "I just can't fucking deal with you. I can't." I huffed, dropping my bag from my shoulder and walked to the opposite side of my room, facing away from him, not even wanting to look at his face.

"Tell me something, sweetheart," Matthew spoke, curiosity and a slight bit of amusement lingering on his words.

"What."

"Why do you hate me so much? You've hated me ever since I dated Liz back in our first year of college and I never truly understood why," he questioned with genuine curiosity, but there was also a certain playfulness in his voice. I opened my mouth to answer, still not facing him, and I was so ready to tell him off, god knows I've been wanting to but he cut me off. "Is it because I never slept with you?"

My eyes instantly widened at his words, a clearly offended scoff leaving my lips as I turned around to face him, "what? No, of course not, I—" my words got caught in my throat when I saw his tall frame towering over me, my eyes getting stuck on his chest before they traveled up to his face, and he was close. Extremely close. I swallowed thickly, feeling slightly cornered by his significantly taller frame so I stepped back, trying to create some kind of distance between us, but he simply followed me. "I, uhm, that's not why I don't like you, Matthew. I don't like you because you're an insensitive asshole and—"

"Oh, I know why you hate me," he cut me off again, slowly running his tongue to wet his perfectly pink lips. "You hate me because I dated Liz and not you."

His proclamation made my eyes grow even wider and my mouth hung open as I stammered for words. I wanted to disagree, I truly wanted to tell him that he was wrong. But honestly, he wasn't altogether wrong. I couldn't say some of my resentment didn't come from a deep rooted feeling of rejection. Because while most of that resentment came from that place of genuine hurt, my resentment was fueled by frustration and a shameless sense of envy.

But it was just easier to convince myself that I hated him than to admit that I still liked him and that it hurt me that he chose my friend over me.

But of course, I would never admit to that, especially not to him.

Avoiding eye contact, I looked down and shook my head, running my tongue to wet my suddenly dry lips, "of-of course not. Why—why would I care about your dating life? You can fuck whoever you want, I don't care." I wish I sounded more confident when I said that. But my stuttering words and my unsteady legs gave him exactly what he wanted.

And the bastard actually chuckled. He fucking chuckled.

"But you do, you do care. You care because you haven't stopped thinking about us and me since our first year." He grinned, digging his teeth into his perfect lips as he brought a hand to cup my face, lifting it so I had no other choice but to look at him.

And I was fucking gone.

It was like, all of that anger, frustration and hatred just vanished and instead turned into longing want. Want for him to just take me and do whatever he pleases with me. I was practically nothing in his hands, and I was nothing waiting for him to make me something. Waiting for him to make me his.

And that absolutely delighted the bastard. He found amusement in having the power I never allowed him to have. But right now, I just couldn't fight it.

I always knew that if I ever found myself alone and in this situation with Matthew Gubler, I would lose, no matter how much I tried to convince myself otherwise.

And he knew that too.

"That's it, isn't? You want me to fuck you like I fucked your friend." He smirked, almost like he was proud to say it. And he stared, his usually soft amber eyes now brown and darkened with want.

Who the fuck was this guy and where did Matthew go? Matthew Gubler was the most awkward and disgraceful guy when it came to women. The poor guy couldn't even flirt his way out of a wet paper bag. And yet, somehow, here he was, with this new found confidence and the ability to turn me into a shaking and stuttering mess. Who fucking knew.

Once again, I stammered for words, I truly wanted to tell him otherwise. I wanted to scream in his face and push him away, but I couldn't. Not that I wanted to.

He took my lack of response as the answer he was looking for and brought his other hand to my waist, backing me up against the nearest wall, caging me between the hard surface behind me and his body, which right now, seemed so much bigger than mine.

My breathing instantly skyrocketed as I felt the same hand that was on my waist sneak its way past the ends of my dress and up my bare thighs, ones that shook like an earthquake as the pads of his fingers slowly rubbed the tense skin. Like he was testing the waters. Testing how well my body reacted to his touch.

And it wasn't subtle. At all.

"W-what—what are you doing?" I almost squealed, my voice practically betraying me.

"Oh? Well, I'm just giving you what you wanted. I'm giving you what you've been wanting for years." He stated so casually, like he had no idea what he was doing to me. And just as casually, he slowly ran a finger over the thin cotton fabric of my underwear, touching me, but definitely not in the way I needed to be touched.

I wished my body didn't betray me like it did though. I couldn't even hold back the breathy moan that escaped my lips when his fingers made contact with the thin material. But Matthew certainly loved the response I gave him.

"Because this is what you've been wanting, isn't it? You've been thinking about how my fingers would feel buried inside your little cunt. Or how good you would feel around my cock." He taunted, it was almost cynical just how easily those filthy words rolled off his usually reserved tongue. "I'm not gonna lie, I've thought about it too, you have no idea how many times I've thought about having your filthy mouth wrapped around me. Or how pretty you would look begging me for more."

I opened my mouth to speak but my words instantly got caught in my throat when the sneaky bastard pulled the fabric to the side and dipped his fingers into the soaking mess that was my core.

And if there were any rational thoughts still hanging in my head, all of those just went straight out the window when another moan erupted from my throat and my head fell back into the wall behind me.

"See just how much easier things are when you just shut the fuck up and stop fighting so much?" He almost whispered, his lips ghosting over the skin on my neck as a lithe finger gathered my wetness and spread it over my clit.

Despite being a complete whimpering mess at that point, I managed to spit out a surprisingly harsh, "fuck you."

It was a pretty convincing retort. One that didn't exactly have the effect I hoped for though.

I could feel him smirk into my neck as his lips left wet and sloppy kisses into the skin before he pulled back, just so he could see the look of utter want and frustration on my face.

"Hm, sorry sweetheart, I can't do that. I'm too busy trying to fuck you instead."

I swear to god, he was the biggest asshole I have ever met in my entire fucking life. But he was an asshole who immediately slipped two of his sinfully long fingers into my dripping core. I instantly choked on my own breath as he began working his fingers around the muscles, stroking the digits inside me at an agonizingly slow pace.

"Because that's what you want don't you sweetheart? You want to me to fuck you into that mattress until you can't keep your eyes open?" He continued, his filthy words making me pant like I ran for fucking miles. "I do too, trust me I do. And I will, I promise. But I want to make up for all of the lost time. Don't you?"

I wasn't even paying attention to whatever filthy proclamations were coming out of Matthew's mouth, with my eyes nearly closed, my mouth slightly open and my mind only focusing on his fingers working diligently inside me, how could I?

But Matthew was expecting an answer this time. Because I could feel his darkened eyes glare into my face and his fingers immediately stilled inside me. Earning a loud whine from me.

"I asked you a question, answer me."

It took me a minute to remember his question before I quickly nodded, "yes! Yes! Is that what you wanted to hear?" I nearly screamed at his face, my hands coming to clutch his shirt, needing something to relieve some tension.

"I want to hear you say it. Say it, tell me you want me." He demanded, his eyes locking with mine as he waited for what he wanted to hear.

He wanted me to beg, he wanted me to give up that control I never allowed him to have. And was I going to?

Absolutely.

I needed to.

"I want you, Matthew, I want you to take me and fuck me into that mattress until I can't walk straight. Please."

I guess that was the answer Matthew had been looking for because his fingers immediately began to work diligently inside me again, stroking the digits until he had me whimpering and begging for release.

It wasn't long before my head started to spin and stars began to blur my vision. Words were no longer an option at that point, nothing would come out, not even Matthew's name. All I could manage to let out were pathetic, strangled moans. But he could tell I was close, or I figured that much because his fingers only worked faster around my tightening walls, determined to finish me.

"C'mon sweetheart, come for me." he encouraged through gritted teeth as his fingers were anything but still inside me and his palm applied a crushing pressure into my front. And even when my eyes were half closed and my mind had turned into dust, I could see the look of utter determination on his face, his eyebrows were furrowed as his teeth dug into his perfectly plump lips. It was like his only focus was on driving me over the edge. And he succeeded.

The second his fingers curled, I was fucking gone. My orgasm hit me like a tidal wave. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as I cried out his name like a praise, my body nearly spasming against the wall. But his fingers didn't stop until my whole body shook to the point where my legs no longer supported my weight and I practically slid into the wall as I tried to catch my breath.

It was almost dizzying just how quickly Matthew withdrew his fingers from me and hoisted me up on his slim torso. He wasted absolutely no time in striding over to my bed across the room. My whole body collided with my bed so quickly and forcefully it knocked the air out of my chest.

Matthew was practically ripping away his clothes before I could even sit up or catch my breath. Like he had this urgency to do what I've been avoiding for the past two years. Like he needed to do it, right now, like something would happen before he got the chance to.

"Matthew—"

"Shut up, I've heard enough shit from you for the past two years, and I'm fucking tired of it." He almost growled, his usually soft voice coming out so low and dark it actually stroked fear in my heart. It was scary just how quickly his demeanor changed.

Matthew didn't really waste much time in discarding his clothes, he was down to only his boxers and was on top of me before I could even blink. He brought a hand to my chest and he pushed me down until my back was flat on the bed, but his hand stayed there, pinning me there as he hovered over me, trapping my significantly smaller body under his own.

He wasted no time in grabbing a hold of my dress and pulling it over my head. And I could've sworn I saw pure awe and infatuation flash through his eyes as they shamelessly eyed over my newly exposed skin. Come to think of it though, this was the first time I was this naked in front of him, and even then, I wasn't fully naked. Not yet anyway.

After a good minute, his eyes flickered back up to meet with mine, his previous look of awe quickly replaced by this feral look of want and pure desire. And I couldn't say it didn't excite me to see it.

He brought a hand to my face, running his smooth fingers over my face with a surprising amount of delicacy before he deep rooted them into my hair and slightly tilted my head back before he brought his face into mine, our lips crashing into a deep fervent kiss. I didn't realize we have never actually kissed. No wonder there was so much desperation and hunger within that kiss. We've been wanting this ever since we met, and ironically, I wanted it more.

His mouth was harsh and fervent against mine, his tongue wasting no time before it quickly slipped between my lips without much of a warning. His tongue explored every inch of my mouth and took as much control as he wanted to as he brought one of his hands to discard my brassiere, he struggled a bit at first but he managed to unhook it and discarded the flimsy material along with the rest of forgotten clothes. He pulled back to capture the image of my newly exposed skin. And he wasn't subtle, at all.

I almost felt intimidated under his deep and penetrating gaze as he shamelessly ogled my exposed body. I was completely exposed to him, completely vulnerable and right now, he could do whatever the fuck he wanted with me. And that scared me, it scared me just how quickly he took control over me after years of fighting against it.

With a hard swallow and a bob of his Adam's apple, Matthew slowly licked his lips, scraping his teeth against his slightly swollen bottom lip in a way that almost made me roll my eyes back into my head. But I didn't, instead I just locked eyes with him as he brought his face down and wrapped his lips around one of my breasts and his tongue swirled around the sensitive bud almost expertly, using one of his hands to toy with the other.

"O-oh fuck." I couldn't help but helplessly moan into the air as my hands found their way into his mop of brown curls. This reaction certainly delighted the bastard above me because I could feel his eyes burning into my face and his lips curving into a smirk around me before he slowly pulled back, latching on to my nipple as he pulled off it.

"You have a very filthy mouth, jeez." He tisked, slightly shaking his head disaprovingly but still had that fucking smirk of his.

Clearly, I wasn't amused, in the slightest, so his stupid comment earned him a nice and concise, "fuck you."

But then again, it didn't have the effect I hoped for.

"Mhm, yeah, you're about to." He retorted one last time before bringing his face back up to mine, capturing me in a heated and messy kiss that only worked as distraction from the journey Matthew's hands took down south. I was only brought back to reality when I felt my underwear being ripped away and the cool air hitting me. And he was quick to pull down his own boxers and allowed his length to spring free. And I couldn't even play off the fact that I had to stare, my mouth slightly hanging open at the sight of him.

"You're so cute when you stare." He taunted, his words being fairly tame in contrast to his very dark and not innocent tone. The sound of his voice made me flicker my eyes to meet his face. Big mistake, because the borderline devious smirk on his face didn't help, at all. And it certainly didn't help when he positioned himself between my legs, rubbing himself on my already dripping heat.

"You do have condoms here, right?" He asked, but I wasn't paying attention, with him rubbing himself on my slick, I couldn't really pay much attention to anything. "I could just fuck you bareback, I'm clean, so I don't care. But it's up to you." He spoke again, slightly teasing my entrance with the tip of his length, hoping to actually get my attention, and I actually listened this time.

Biting my lip, I mentally cursed at my lack of sexual activity because it just so happened that I had no condoms. Matthew gave me an expectant look, not to pressure me, but just waiting impatiently. I knew if I told him to stop he would without a second thought, but he would just leave. I wasn't going to make that mistake twice.

"I'm clean too, just," I chewed on my bottom lip, already shuddering with anticipation as I hooked my legs around his slim torso, pulling him closer, "just take me, please just fucking take me already."

I didn't have to say it twice.

Without a second thought, he propped himself up on his arms and pressed his face against mine as he slammed into me in one swift motion. A strangled moan erupted from my throat as he buried himself to the hilt, stretching me open at once. And fuck, the feeling of him inside me was intoxicating, addicting even, I don't think I've ever felt like this before.

This was so fucking wrong. So wrong, so wrong to be fucking the guy my friend dated, so wrong to be fucking the guy I swore to everyone I hated. It was just wrong. So why the hell did it feel so right? It was so perfectly right the way our bodies felt together, like they simply belonged there, buried deeply within one another. I never wanted to stop feeling like this.

It was almost dizzying just how good he felt. And with the quick and fervent pace he set for himself right from the start, I knew I probably wouldn't last long. With my eyes rolled into my head, my open mouth and my body sprawled out on the bed as I tried to find something to hold on to, he probably had one hell of a view. And he enjoyed it too, because his thrusts only became harsher.

"Fuck, sweetheart, you're so fucking beautiful," he cursed through gritted teeth, his hands holding my hips down with a vice like grip, making sure I couldn't move. And it wasn't for lack of trying. My body shook and shuddered like a fucking earthquake around him but he simply held me down as he continued.

"You feel so good too. I can't believe you made me wait two fucking years for this. Fuck." He nearly shouted, slamming into me with an insane amount of force and clenched his eyes shut, almost as if the thought made him angry, "two fucking years to take what was mine."

His. He called me his.

Fuck, I wish those filthy words didn't have such a strong effect on me, but boy did they make a number on me. I couldn't even hold back the guttural cry that erupted from my chest as I nodded feverishly, not really realizing what I was nodding to.

"Yes! Fuck yes, Matthew, I'm yours!" I almost screamed, saying whatever incoherent thoughts flashed through my mind, letting the whole floor know just how much fun I was having and with whom. And with my mind and thoughts being too clouded by the feeling of him, I didn't even think about what those words entailed.

But it didn't matter because they served their purpose regardless. I wasn't expecting just how much the words actually affected him, because his hips began to falter, his thrusts becoming longer but impossibly deeper. And I could see how concentrated he was, with sweat forming on his forehead, his teeth digging into his bottom lip and his breath was hard and short, like this was a task he was determined to finish. He was determined to ruin me.

Letting out a guttural and nearly animalistic groan, Matthew grabbed a hold of my hips and raised them so that each thrust would make him bottom out inside of me, knowing just how close we both were to our release. "Yeah, that's right, sweetheart, let the whole floor know who's making you feel this good," he growled as he gave one last final but brutal thrust, digging his fingers into my hips so tight I just knew I would have bruises tomorrow as he held me down on him, "let the whole floor know you're mine."

And just like that, my orgasm crashed into me, Matthew's harsh words of ownership sending me into a euphoric state of pleasure, my lips chanting his name like a mantra and my walls tightening around him as he came deeply into me, my own name rolling off his tongue in a quiet praise. And the utter and absolute look of ecstasy on his face made up for the bruises I would have to hide for the next few days and for the two years we've made each other's life a living hell. Because right now, seeing that look of being completely fucked, I just wanted nothing more than to just stay like this.

The second we were no longer blinded by our highs, he fell forward, nearly crushing me under his weight as he struggled to get himself up. Yeah he looked fucked alright. Despite knowing damn well he could've easily rolled off me, he didn't, he simply rested his head on my chest and closed his eyes like he was just going to sleep there. A small smile made its way to my lips at the sight of his tousled brown curls on my chest, ignoring all logic, I ran my fingers through the messy locks, and they were in fact as soft as they always looked.

Realizing just how bad this was for me, and just how vulnerable I actually looked, I smacked his forehead, successfully earning a glare from him once he lifted his head, looking dead at me with his now soft amber eyes.

"You're crushing me, you ass, get off." I breathed out and rolled my eyes, being too exhausted to try and get him off myself. And knowing just how easily he corrupted me, I didn't need another thing to make this harder.

"Okay, okay, jeez." Matthew rolled his eyes, letting his head back into my chest exhaustively and groaned tiredly into my chest before he gathered just enough strength to roll off me and collapsed beside me, his reddened and sweaty chest still rising and falling unevenly as he was still trying to steady his breathing. And I was trying, too. And we just stared, we stared at each other, saying nothing. There was nothing to be said. It was better that way.

After a long long while of silently staring at each other, he brought a hand to my face and rested it there, his thumb mindlessly rubbing over the warm skin of my cheek and he smiled, he simply smiled. And it felt good, it felt comforting, sweet even, it was a funny contrast after what he just did to me.

"So.. About our project.."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag list:

Matthew Gray Gubler

All- @aberrant-annie @marauder-exe @vquezada84 @boiled-onionrings @writeronkeyboard @l0ve-0f-my-life @mariaramz @soederberg

OUaT in NYU-

So I'm starting a tag list for this fic because it will be a mini series so let me know if you'd like to be added to the once upon in NYU tag list

#criminal minds #mgg #spencer reid #mgg x reader #mgg smut #mgg fanfiction #matthew gray gubler #matthew gray gubler x reader #Matthew Gray Gubler smut #x reader

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zmayadw · 3 years

Text

I totaly neglected my story posting :/ Shame on me!

So, here is next part, if anyone is still interested in reading :P

Have a nice evening! :)

Oh, and i guess i should mention, a slight warning - there is a little violence in this part, nothing serious, but still :P

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 20

Next morning it was actualy me that awoke first, Jake sleeping soundly. I snuck out fo the bed, tip toeing to the bathroom. I got dressed making as little noise as i could not to wake him. He could use some rest, finaly. I took the car keys sneaking out of the room. This time i will surprise him with coffee and breakfast. Driving to town, i tought of last night, smile coming to my face. Things wer going well, considering all. I parked the car, going for the coffe shop. I bough coffee and some croissants, and as i left the shop someone yelled my name. I turned and smiled „Hello, Phil.“ „Hey there gorgeous, you up early today.“ He said grining. It was early, just pass 7. I found it strange myself when i woke up, considering we came back at the motel late, and, well, all that followed after we did. I was sure i would sleep till late again. I smiled „Well, you know what they say about the early bird.“ „Indeed.“ He smiled back. „Well, good I ran into you, i need to talk to you anyway.“ „Oh, you do?“ i asked curiously. „But that can wait till later.“ He said, glancing at the coffees and croissants i was holding. „Dont want for loverboy to be waiting on you.“ I smiled akwardly. „Anyway, come to the Aurora later if you can, and i'll tell you all about it.“ „Alright, i will.“ I said. Phil chimed cheerfuly „Excellent! See you later then, gorgeous.“ I had no idea what Phil might need of me, but i was curious. Ugh, i groaned inside, Jake wont be too happy when i tell him about this. Hopefully, he figured out by now he has nothing to worry about considering Phil. All tho, i doubted the two of them will ever get allong well. Ah well, you cant have everything.

I parked back at the motel, taking the stuff out of the car and heading for the room. The moment i stepped inside, Jake was all over me. „What the hell, Maya!“ he almost yelled at me. „Well, good morning to you, too.“ I said, looking at him questioningly lovering the things i bought at the desk. „What wer you thinking?“ he asked me. „Uhm, well , coffee and breakfast mostly, but i somehow doubt that is the answer you want.“ „You are right about that.“ He said, frustration rising in his voice. „Was it so hard for you to take your phone with you?“ I winced at it a bit „Considering what almost happened last time i had my phone with me while driving, i would go with yes.“ He sighed „I get that, Maya, but what if something happend to you, how would i be able to find you?“ Crap, he had a point. „I'm sorry, Jake.“ I said. „I didnt think about that, dont be ma...“ I stopped abruptly. „Wait, wait,wait, what did you just say right now?“ „What?“ he asked. „You said 'find' “ I could literally hear the 'tick tick' of wheels in my brain as it hit me. „What did you do with my phone?!“ i asked. He was silent, and i knew i was right. „You are tracking my phone, arent you!?“ i said, squinting my eyes at him. „Fine! Yes, I am tracking your phone!“ he said, throwing his arms up with frustration. „You could have told me!“ He sighed desperatly „I know, but i didnt want to get you bothered with it. You had enough on your mind already.“ „Jake“ i said going to him, putting my hands arround his neck. „You need to tell me stuff like that. Im not mad you did it, its kinda cute.“ I smiled, making him smile back at me. „But“ i started serious „From now on, no more secrets. I want you to promise me you will tell me everything.“ „Alright, i promise.“ „Good.“ I said, giving him a kiss. „Now, can we eat, im actually pretty hungry.“ i chimed cheerfuly. He chuckled at me, taking the bag with croissants. He took one out, turning to me with a raised eyebrow „I can see that. There's this suspiciously looking croissant here thats missing a part.“ „Oops“ i said, taking it from his hand, grinning „Couldn't resist.“

I basicly devoured three croissants, sitting on the bed with my laptop. Jake was behind his laptop at the desk doing 'his stuff'. I took a sip of my coffe „I ran into Phil when in town, by the way.“ He straightend in the chair, turning to me „Oh, yeah?“ „Yes. He wants me to come to Aurora later, he said he wants to talk to me.“ „About what?“ he asked. „Thats what i will find out when i see him.“ „So, you decided already you will go.“ He said, squirming in his chair. „Ofcourse i will go, why wouldnt I?“ i asked. Jake was even more squirmy now, i chuckled inside. „I dont know.“ He siad. I grined „Are you getting jelous again?“ „No, i'm not!“ he replied, quickly turning back to his laptop. „Oh, you soooo are!“ i said laughing. I so liked teasing him. „Shut up.“ He said, throwing the empty croissant bag rolled in a ball at me. „Heeey, its not nice throwing stuff at others, mister.“ I said teasingly. „Stop distracting me then.“ „Fine, fine, be all serious.“ He looked sideways at me, and i stuck my toung to him. „You're impossible.“ He said. „I tought i was amazing.“ He chuckled „I might have gotten ahead of me with saying that.“ „Oy!“ i protested, throwing a pillow at him. He turned to me and crossed his arms at his chest „Mhm, its not fun, beaing teased at, right?“ He grinned. I squinted my eyes at him „Touché.“ He turned back to his laptop. „Ok, joking aside, you are welcome to come with me to Aurora later, if that would make you feel better.“ I told him. He turned back to me „You know what? I just might do that.“ I was surprised. I didnt mind him coming along, just didnt expect him to actualy say yes. „Alright then, its settled.“ Oh boy, this will be fun.

We parked at Aurora, and leaivng the car Jake said to me „I'll join you shortly, there's something i want to do.“ „Umm, alright.“ I said „Can i ask what it is?“ He just grined „You'll see later.“ He sat back in the car and drove off. I was left confused walking towards Aurora. Phil was sitting at the booth when i entered, turning towards me at the sound of doors opening. He smiled at me with his usual grin „Hello, gorgeous.“ „Hey Phil.“ I smiled back, joining him. There was a bunch of papers in front of him. „Hope i didnt catch you at a bad time.“ I asked, him smiling at me „Dont worry, gorgeous, i could use a break anyway, i cant add one plus one anymore staring at all this numbers.“ He got up, ushering me to sit „Want something to drink?“ he asked, adding with a wink „I have a fresh pot of coffee waiting.“ I grinned „You know me so well.“ „Hey, i'm just glad i'm not the only coffee addict around here.“ he said with a grin before leaving. His phone rang as he left, so it took him a while before he came back. „Sorry, gorgeous, business call.“ He said, putting a coffee cup infront of me and sitting down. He leaned in the booth „I was sure that 'loverboy' would come with you.“ „Huh, well you wer right, he will join us soon.“ He laughed „Does he feel that much threatened by me?“ I looked at him, groaning desperatly „Phil..“ „Dont worry, gorgeous, i'll behave.“ He grinned. „As much as possible.“ He added winking at me. „Oh, im sure you will.“ I said, shaking my head at him. I took a sip of coffee „So, what was it that you wanted to talk to me?“ „Ahh, straight to business, right?“ he said to me. „Well, i am curious about it, so, come on, out with it.“ I grinned at him. „Alright, alright“ he said. „I have a business proposition for you.“ „You do?“ i looked surprised at him. „Indeed.“ „Alright, and what is it about?“ i asked. „Well, you do draw and designe, right?“ he asked, and i nodded. „I would like you to do a new design for t-shirts and some other stuff for Aurora.“ I was surprised by it. „You do?“ „Ofcourse.“ He said. „Why look so surprised by it, gorgeous?“ he asked with a smile. „Umm, well, dont get me wrong, I am flattered by it, but i'm sure there is someone better then me for it.“ Phil shook his head at me „Let me tell you something, gorgeous.“ He started, looking serious at me. „When it comes to work, i dont choose lightly.“ I still wasnt convinced. „And, besides, you can thank the 'all mighty internet' here.“ He said grining at me. „ You think i didnt chek up your skills before offering this to you?“ He wasnt wrong, i was good at what i did. „Alright“ i started „I appreciate it, really, but i have to decline.“ Phil looked dissapointed „Why? And dont give me some crap answer, Maya.“ „Well, honestly, i cant accept because i couldnt charge you for it.“ „And why not? Because we're friends?“ he said, and i nodded. „Its business, gorgeous, of course it comes with payement.“ „True, but i just wouldnt feel right doing it, Phil.“ I said desperatly. I added after a moment of silence „I could do it as a favore, tho, that would sound better to me.“ Phil looked at me serious for a moment, before his eyes sparkled and he grinned „Alright, how about this: you do it anyway, but instead of me paying you, i make you a special deal.“ I raised my eyebrow at him „And what special deal that might be?“ He laughed „ Dont worry, gorgeous, its nothing dirty, as you might think.“ He winked, smiling devilishly. I rolled my eyes at him „I havent tought of something like that.“ I said sarcasticly, but it actually did cross my mind. „ Ofcourse you didnt.“ Phil said, rising his eyebrow. „Well, what that special 'deal' is then?“ i asked. He grinned „ You get to drink for free here from now on.“ I laughed „You really will try anything to get me to accept it, arent you?“ „Hey, its a good deal, gorgeous. You have no clue how manny people would gladly take that kind of the offer.“ He said to me winking. „Allright, Phil“ i said after a momet „You convinced me, I'll do it.“ „Excellent!“ he chimed cheerfully, rubbing his hands together. He got up „I

think we need to seal this with a drink!“ I laughed „Ofcourse you do.“ The door of the Aurora opened then, and we both turned to see Jake walking in. He came to the booth, not taking his eyes from Phil, and Phil doing exactly the same. „Perfect timing, loverboy.“ Phil said „We wer just about to celebrat.“ He winked at me, leaving the booth. Jake looked at me, and i saw annoyance in him from Phils behaviour. He growled sitting next to me „Do i still have to behave arround Phil? I havent punched anyone in a long time, but i'm sure i still remember how to do it.“ I shook my head at him „Yes, you still have to behave.“ I grined leaning for a kiss „And, if you ever want to see me naked again, no punching, either!“ He raised his eyebrow at me after we kissed „You are taking away all the fun from me.“

Phil came back settling three glasses and a bottle of whiskey at the table. „So, did she tell you the good news already?“ he asked Jake, filling the glasses up. „No, she didnt.“ Jake replied, turning to me now. I sighed „Phil offered me a job.“ „Did he, now.“ Jake said, turning to look back at Phil. „Ofcourse i did.“ He said and grinned. „Our girl here is quite talented at her work.“ He handed us the glasses, taking his and rising it towards me. „Here's to you, gorgeous.“ I glanced at Jake, him being suprisingly calm to Phils words. He took a sip from his glass, settling it down. Me? I finished mine in one gulp. This calmness of his got me worried. „Whoa, easy there gorgeous.“ Phil said to me chuckling. „Could you stop calling her that?“ Jake said to Phil, his eyes darkening. Phil leaned back in the booth „What? Gorgeous?“ he said, giving Jake a grin „But she is, so why not say it.“ „Oh, for the love of it.“ I said, taking the bottle and filling my glass again. They both continued staring at eachother, completly ignoring me. „Phil“ Jake started, sounding calm but his voice so sinister „I promised Maya i'll behave, and i really dont want to break that promise.“ „Oh, relax loverboy, i'm just messing with you.“ Phil told him back, grining. „But let me just say this to you“ he started, taking the bottle to refill all the glasses, looking smug at Jake. „I know your type, I've seen it manny times before. Eventualy, you will mess up with her. And when you do, i will be right here waiting.“ And that was it - Jakes fist flew to Phils face, sending him sprawling on the floor from the booth. I basicly jumped over the table, glasses spilling all over and on me, making myself stand in front of Jake, as he shot up from his seat to go for Phil again. „Stop it!“ i shouted at him, but he looked so furios at Phil. His eyes wer so dark, and he was breathing so fast. I wasnt sure he even aknowledged I was standing in front of him. He wanted to push through me for Phil, i had to use all my strenght to try and push him back . I never saw him like this before, it got me frighten. „Please, Jake!“ I yelled once more pleadingly. He looked at me. The shock that was shown on my face made him tense, his eyes opening wide. „Shit!“ he said, turning from me, and storming towards the doors. I just stood there, taking a deep breath to calm myself as Jake left Aurora. I turned to Phil „What the fuck, Phil! You just had to do it?“ i yelled at him furiously. Phil just grined at me „Sorry gorgeous, i was just being honest, as always.“ „You just wanted to provoke him!“ „Look, Maya“ Phil started, getting up from the floor. „I meant what i said. He will mess things up eventualy, i can bet you. He will end up hurting you.“ „No, he wont!“ i continued yelling at him „You know nothing about him! And if you hoped provoking him will make me care less for him, you wer wrong!“ I took a few more deep breaths calming myself down once more. „And 'friends' dont wish for other friends to end up miserable.“ I said my voice taking on a sad notch. Phil winced at my words. „Thanks, Phil, thanks a lot.“ I said, turning away from him heading for the doors.

Stepping outside i wanted to scream in frustration. Like i didnt have enough happening in my life already. Jake was nervously pacing back and forth next to the car, stopping as he saw me. He walked towards me. „I'm sorry, i'm so, so sorry!“ he said to me. „I shouldnt have let him provoke me.“ He started pacing nervously again in fron of me. „Jake, it's fine.“ I said, but he didnt hear me. „He's just so annoying, i just couldnt control myself anymore!“ „Jake, it's alright.“ I tried again, but he just continued. „And talking to you like that? He has no right! Who does he think he is?“ „Jake!“ i yelled at him, making him stop and look at me. „It's fine.“ I said again, finaly having his attention. „It is?“ he asked, looking surprised. „Yes. He did kinda deserve it.“ I told him. „I tought you would be furious.“ he said to me, still surprised. „Oh, i am.“ I started „I'm not a fan of this things happeneing, just to make it clear to you. And to be honest, i should have forseen something like this happening, i shouldnt have let you come with me, so im furios at myself, too“ i said. My face got all serious then „You got me worried there for a moment.“ He looked at me, worry creeping to his face. „You didnt get scared of me, Maya..did you?“ he asked, his voice insecure a bit. „No, Jake, i didnt.“ I said „But i was scared I wont be able to stop you.“ He took a deep breath. „Maya, because of you, is why i stopped.“ I smiled at him, embracing him in a hug, leaning my head on his chest „I told you i will be your 'helping hand'.„ „Yes, you did.“ He smiled. „And I am sorry I did this.“ „Dont worry about it.“ I said, looking back at him, grinning „ I would have punched him myself if he continued like that, either way.“ Jake laughed at it „I can totally picture you do it.“ „I know, right!?“ i exclimed cheerfully, and he leaned to me for a kiss. As the kiss ended i asked „Can we go now, please, i just want to leave here.“ He smiled at me, hugging me with one hand, and we started walking back to the car. „You and me, both.“ Jake unlocked the car, and i went to the other side to get in. I opened the doors, and tensed. I sat in, turning to Jake, fear creeping at me. „Jake, are you going somewhere?“ He turned to me, confused „What are you talking about?“ I glanced at the back seat, a black traveling bag there. He chuckled at me „Relax, Maya, its just some clean clothes i took.“ .“ I sighed relieved, for a moment there i thought the worst. He looked at me raising his eyebrow „I am mostly with you at the motel, and i doubt any of your shirts would fit me.“ „Oh i dont know, i think that pink lace tank top of mine would fit you perfectly.“ I said teasingly. He laughed, shaking his head at me „Pink is definitely NOT my color.“

#duskwood #duskwood fanfiction #duskwood jake #duskwood mc #duskwood phil #duskwood aurora

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shattered-catalyst · 3 years

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OCD Subtypes for the RPC

Part 1 is here

Well well well, we are back for Part 2 of the Roleplayer’s Guide to OCD.

Fellow Ocd Folks, I see you in those tags and I'm going to do my best to ensure those obsessions are represented here- BUT understand that physically it is not going to be possible to list every single one because I am one person. Regardless its incredibly brave of you all to rb and add things in the tags, I know its hard to talk about this shit and I see you. I see you.

Resultantly I typed this out and posted it in formatting to assist with accessibility in mind; if you cannot read it still ( I tried Im sorry!) i recommend the copy and paste method or getting the chrome extension bee-line reader.

There will be grammatical and spelling mistakes. Im sure spacing is odd some places, but you have to understand doing this is extremely anxiety provoking for me so Im just getting it done when I can.

Remember to use your critical thinking; not everyone has the same symptoms/compulsions/triggers and all that.

OCD is fluid. Its like liquid mercury. One day its a handful of subtypes another day its another different serving.

If you are in general squicked about certain topics even by mention read ahead with your own judgement. Remember us folks that have OCD have many disturbing and distressing experiences so if you are writing a character who has OCD and you can’t read about it just don’t give them that obsessive thought/ compulsion. Make sure writing is still a safe and enjoyable hobby for yourself first and foremost.

But ethically and morally I cannot and will not leave out the more disturbing bits. You have the ability to scroll by, I and many others do not get the chance to escape triggering content that our own mind creates.

So read ahead with your best judgement or at least skip around the squicky parts and educate yourself on what OCD is so people quite using it as a Obsessive Christmas/Corgi/Cat Disorder thing. Alright? Cool beans.

Okay so you made it passed post 1 and got under the read more. Give yourself a gold star for diving into this monster of a document.

Below is a crash course it is not meant to replace actual psychoeducation, personal research, or google. Honestly most of us do our research extensively but because OCD is treated so horribly by social media, media, and society in general.

I wasn’t sure where to throw these together because the education tools to learn fully about OCD are very specialized and thus very restricted. I found that many people DO have these experiences with OCD though so I will represent them throughout. I’ll also sprinkle some of my own experiences so you can get a good reference of a person who has the disorder and not just a randomly generated person.

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So OCD is made up of Obsessions, Trigger, Intrusive thought, Misinterpretation/feared consequence,Somatic and Psychological Anxiety, and Compulsions/Rituals.

Your character may not be able to list all of these. In fact if they aren't in ERP therapy they may not be able to puzzle these things out. But YOU as the writer should know them. Your character won’t be walking around talking to just ANYONE that they have OCD. Remember a huge aspect of OCD is it’s Shame. The disorder makes us feel intense shame regarding our intrusive thoughts, as a result OCD goes undiagnosed for years especially if it has pediatric onset.

We won’t tell anyone what we are experiencing or why we are doing x y or z. We act like nothing is wrong because to emotionally react is to admit to yourself- and therefore the world- that you have had this intrusive thought and are therefore by virtue a horrible person.[For further information I would suggest also researching PANDAS].

It may be noticeable if your character has an intrusive thought. They may wince or grimace or roll their eyes certainly, but they won’t open up to Joe at the cafe about how their brain is constantly torturing them. I apparently have a very noticeable eye twitch.

Depending on the nature of the intrusive thought it will get more or less of a reaction out of me. Its usually dependent on how distressing the intrusive thought is and/or if its a new one.

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You see OCD doesn’t sit still. It never looks the same. You’ll have your long haul intrusive thoughts that are with you for years but then you’ll have weird ass ones that just appear and demand their voice be heard yelling about cars hitting people or squirrels getting eaten.

Some people have similar ones! So while everyone is different there will always be someone out there with an intrusive thought similar to yours.

For instance; I bonded emotionally with a lady on reddit because we both have intrusive thoughts during storms that animals and the homeless are dying. We were both horribly relieved to find another person and also distressed that every snow or rain storm brings horrible images and whispers to your mind that while you are warm and snug in bed someone is freezing to death. And its all your fault.

Some days are better than others. As with all mental illnesses it isn’t CONSTANT ALARM BELLS. Some days it will be all alarms and other days it will be like a gentle whisper on the breeze. You can almost not notice it. Almost.

Obsessive thoughts run the gauntlet from ‘i will/could have/may/may accidentally harm etc’ something that you hold of value. This is any obsessive thought that you have: you think about repeatedly and not by choice, it is very anxiety provoking, it is unwanted, and unwelcome.

Mine run the scale from ‘squirrel will be murdered’ to ‘being responsible for harm’.

Compulsions or ‘rituals’ are any behavior done to alleviate the anxiety from the intrusive thought and trigger object. In short, compulsions and rituals are not fun. they are absolutely not logical, and we know they are not logical but we are forced to do them. Thats why its a disorder.

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To emphasize from post 1: magical thinking and the faulty link between thoughts and actions are hallmarks of OCD. Magical thinking can be anything from contamination to if I turn around three times or stare really hard at something the bad thing wont happen. Sounds weird and is weird and we know it is thats why its a disorder and not a delusion.

The faulty belief that thought=action is the biggest hurdle it is incredibly difficult to grasp, at least for me maybe some of you that have done further ERP can attest, that the mere concept of a thought not being the same as an action is completely and totally mind blowing.

Free will? Yeah thats terrifying. IDK about anyone else but free will is absolutely terrifying; what do you mean i could do anything i wanted?

Thats how you face OCD(WITH A TRAINED THERAPIST). You give in to ambiguity and the unknown. Its breaking that link between thought and action. Its incredibly difficult and draining. A five minute exposure leaves me in shatters for a week and two five minute ones had me ripping my nails past the nail beds with anxiety.

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Just a reminder: Do not have your character expose themself or expose folks with OCD to a trigger to “ help us get over with”. That is literally forcing someone with a mental illness into a break down and is not helpful. In fact its worse because a person knows about this intrusive thought and they tried to make it real. More shame and some trauma.

If you have OCD, more likely than not a family member or significant other has tried this with the purest of intentions. But it never works like that. Theres a reason that therapists get special training for this. If people want a post on ERP I can make one at some point.

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Actually let’s drag me with the squirrel thing as the example- fellow OCD Folks get out a pen and paper and try breaking down one of yours;

Obsession:Squirrel will be murdered

Trigger: seeing a squirrel

Intrusive thought: Graphic images of a squirrel being murdered by a hawk/ impaling depending on the day

Misinterpretation/feared consequence: Squirrel will be killed and its all my fault

Somatic and Psychological Anxiety:intense anxiety, palms sweating, heart racing,

Compulsions/Rituals: Must stare at the squirrel to prevent bad things from happening,

Now imagine if that is every time you see a fucking squirrel. You have somehow become completely and totally transfixed on a squirrel and nothing is going to pull your attention away or the squirrel dies- which your mind is giving you lovely images of btw.

Cute right?

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Below are the subtypes with general information/example thoughts/ and how some of these have impacted me socially because apparently some people dont understand that mental illnesses impact their social lives?? yall...

Social: This can range from ‘ i am constantly thinking i did something wrong so i have to ask for reassurance that we are still friends’ to completely unrealistic worries. Maybe its an intrusive thought that ‘ your voice is annoying them’ . There’s reassurance seeking, internal and external checking.

It makes friendships extremely difficult and exhausting. You’re not trying to get to know someone with an annoying frat boy egging on anxiety in your brain. This can also manifest as having strict rules for yourself and ethical codes.

My therapist likes to say she could give us (folks with OCD) a pile of hundred dollar bills and come back and they’d all be returned. Because OCD makes you so strict and morally confined. Which ISNT fun. Like I dont get pleasure over having to memorize the entire Code of Conduct!

Social Media: Its the bane of human existence some days and a lifeline the next. But what if everytime your follower count was an odd/even number it sent you into a panic attack. What if you spent all your time with intrusive thoughts that somehow someone misinterpreted a post or that someone is going to be harmed by a post you made about tapirs.

You may be forced to block people to get your number down or keep pornbots on your blog to keep your number what you like (see there is a use for them! We sacrifice those before actual users!) You may be refreshing your page every second because ‘what if you miss a message’. It's going to look a lot like ‘check check check check reassure yourself double check your posts check check check reassure check check FALSE MEMORY check your post etc’

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Clothing/Body Image: When its not Body Dysmorphia it can be OCD. Sometimes this looks like I obsess about a body part and therefore I choose my clothes/hairstyles to hide those. Some personal examples: as a kid I was sure that mind readers exist ( THIS IS AN OCD THING TOO I was so relieved to find that out) and that if i didnt wear a particular hat they would see all these horrible thoughts and it would be revealed what an awful person I was. So I wore the same dumb ass bucket hat for a year (or more I cannot remember but it was a long ass time).

I was once so fixated on being given a compliment on my eye color that I wore sunglasses (even at night) to a summer camp. And if any of those teen girls in that cabin that stood up and mocked me in a crowded lunch hall by singing ‘i wear my sunglasses at night’ you all owe me 40$.

Even younger still I had intrusive thoughts. Like say, if anyone noticed I was female that i would be kidnapped so I chopped my hair very short. I altered my appearance to be very androgynous and even switched to walking more masculine. Because omg if your hips move someones going to kill you thats just how it works. ( It doesnt help I later figured out I was a lesbian)

Your wardrobe may be impacted by OCD and yes so can your body image.

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Also yes the fear of mind readers is also a thing; i always thought I was somehow faking OCD because yes that is also a…..

Faking: Do you value telling the truth? Do you detest lying ? Boy Howdy do I have some news for you. OCD is going to try and convince you that YOU LIED. Whether it was on a chastity pledge to get a free sandwich or in a conversation you just HAD. This links a lot with false memory OCD.

Another aspect is OCD makes us doubt we have OCD and tries to convince us we have any other diagnosis under the sun and we are obviously faking our OCD.

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Sexual Orientation OCD; It is as it is called. Sexual Orientation OCD is what happens when your brain goes ‘hold on what if you’re not this orientation what if you are THAT’. It doesn’t matter where on the LGBT umbrella you fall you will have OCD trying to convince you otherwise. From compulsive staring at members of the same/opposite gender to compulsively reassuring or checking with yourself to ensure that ‘ no no you are in fact THIS orientation.’

This can range in behavior from binge watching porn, staring compulsively to check that there is OR is NOT attraction,self checking past experiences and memories, analyzing your clothing and your lifestyle in painful and intricate methods.

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False Memory OCD; False memory OCD is basically your brain sitting you in a noir interrogation room, handcuffing you to a chair grilling you. It demands that you did *insert bad thing here*. This can range from anything from something Harm based to pretty much *anything* from other OCD subtypes. Which is quite delightful really.

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Sensorimotor OCD; Sensorimotor OCD is obsessive body responses. These can be ‘ I have to cough really hard and really feel it right in my chest and if I can’t get it right I have to cough until I do’. This can be counting your heartbeats. Trying to check yourself that you in fact have a heart and checking and reassuring that it is still beating. It can be hyper-awareness of swallowing or even swallowing repeatedly. It is anything with selective attention; ie its an automated process but your OCD is forcing you to be aware of it.

Your OCD makes you aware of the sensation of, say, breathing, and then it convinces you that if you stop paying attention to it you will stop breathing. So now you’re horribly aware and focused solely on breathing and breathing alone. It keeps me up most nights with the pounding anxiety fueled by the pressure of ‘if you stop focusing on breathing you will stop breathing completely’ or waiting to feel that last heartbeat in your chest.

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Existential OCD; You ever feel existential ? Existential OCD is like having a very aggressive existential crisis that turns you into NEEDING answers IMMEDIATELY. This can look anything from hours panic scrolling the net to panic inducing anxiety because you don't know what happens after death. The thoughts are like foghorns on a misty sea.

This sounds basic and the only example i can give is as a teeny tiny 7 year old I had a panic attack in bed screaming that ‘ what if im a dinosaur and im asleep and i wake up and my whole family is GONE’.

To be fair I did like dinosaurs a lot.

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Harm OCD; This is pretty self explanatory but I will give more details. Harm OCD is OCD demanding that you will/could/can/may have/might harmed yourself/others/any living creature and that you alone are responsible.

This means anything from getting anxious driving over crosswalks because ‘what if you dont see one and hit someone and its all your fault and you hit someone go back and make sure you havent hit anyone’ to ‘im holding a knife so im going to accidentally stab someone’ to ‘ i didnt see my cat this morning and now im at work and think she must be dead and i am responsible for her demise.’

It can be as simple as ‘if i use a pencil i will stab myself in the eye’ or as complex as ‘ i may accidentally say a slur’/ ‘ i am going to say this horrible thing out loud if i cannot control myself.’ It can also be images of terror or racist/sexist/ableist jokes in your mind that repeat like a broken record.

(Please note from section 1 that this is extremely anxiety provoking and not something you would do. OCD preys on what we respect the most.)

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pOCD; Tumblr listen the fuck up because I am tired of seeing people get called shit on this website for having this mental illness. People who experience pOCD are not pedophiles, they do not get any pleasure or benefit. The thoughts and images are meant to induce harm to the person experiencing them. Children are normally the trigger for this and the resulting images can be very graphic. Again you aren’t attracted to children- thoughts of them getting harmed hurt you so your OCD makes you see them.

Know this so you can advocate for folks with pOCD in real life. Remember we are here. We are suffering and we are terrified of your children.

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Poisoning others/or in your food; Life isn’t medieval anymore but sometimes OCD demands we have a food taster or that we obsessively worry that we may kill someone with our cooking. Personally I struggle with colorblindness so I am constantly fretful over cooking any sort of meat so it’s difficult for me to cook it.

However this also comes as; obsessive horrible thoughts of your cooking kill someone or that you have somehow/accidentally poisoned someone’s food (even if you haven’t touched it or been within a foot of it ) or that someone has poisoned YOUR food even if no one has touched it except you. You’re going to be picking apart your food or unable to eat out at all.

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Emotional Contamination: It’s similar to magical thinking and this terrifying prospect of mind readers. Emotional contamination can manifest as anything from intense worry over somehow gaining someone else’s negative personality traits.

Or that somehow by interacting with any role of someone horrible will make YOU somehow also responsible for the horribleness. There is usually a person or a type of person that is a trigger, but it can also be location based.

This is one subtype where magical thinking and superstition are apparent.

For instance; as a teen if a male was in my space or had physical contact;like shaking hands,giving a high five, being in my room etc. I would have to go around and physically touch all the objects that I perceive they may have also touched as a way to cancel out their presence.

This includes wiping off myself to negate even the touch of family members. It really hurts peoples feelings, my father was especially hurt by this.

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Physical Contamination: This goes beyond physical dirt and grime. Most of us dont have spotless homes because if you’re having a fist fight with your brain everyday cleaning falls by the wayside just like it would for anyone else. Physical contamination holds 2 things: physical contamination obsessions AND compulsive cleaning behaviors/rituals. We believe that a small amount of a contaminate can cover large surfaces.

Oh, and did I mention its not JUST dirt/germs/viruses. The list is expansive but heres a mixed bag of what they can be: sticky substances,dead animals,glitter (FUCKING GLITTER),negative words or language,colors, numbers, surfaces in general, food, people, and activities. There is also a hyper responsibility to protect yourself and others from ‘contamination’.

Strangely there is a magical separation between the contaminated world and the ‘clean’ one. Spaces designated as clean would be a bedroom/bathroom/workspace where you are most active. That space is where the compulsions and intrusive thoughts occur. Its not I MUST CLEAN EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. Otherwise I would be working cleaning houses because why the hell not amiright?

A real world example from a colleague would be a young man with physical contamination OCD is struck with such intrusive thoughts about cleaning that they refuse to allow anyone in their room or any animals in their home. But they are not able to even flush the toilet, take out the trash, wash dishes, or do garbage because of their intrusive thoughts.

The most famous would be compulsive hand washing but I feel it is important to also note OTHER aspects of physical contamination because everyone sees the hand scrubbing stereotype.

Other compulsions include intricate rituals, not touching the floor (i played X-treme the floor is lava during college. I couldnt let my feet touch the floor because it was ‘dirty’),excessive showering (2-8+ hour showers guys, 8 hour showers. Thats what we’re talking about.)

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Relationship OCD: This comes as no surprise that yes you will have intrusive thoughts that you are somehow harming/ will harm/ may accidentally harm your significant other. Whether that be by physical or emotional means. It can look like ‘ I may have lied to her about how much I love her’, ‘ i may not actually love her and I may be leading her on’, and ‘ I must be corrupting her’. These can extend to certain physical activities with false memory OCD as a cherry on top. A great finishing garnish to leave you feeling absolutely dismayed and unable to trust your own perception.

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Scrupulosity: Religion! Whatever that may be! Its a thing with OCD. With Scrupulosity obsessive thoughts run all over the board from; you committed a sin and forgot about it you monster to having to pray continuously/ a certain time/ until its right. What is right?Ask OCD that’s the only person who knows.

We are fairly certain my grandfather had OCD because he went to church for every single Catholic Mass. Every single day. Every. Single. Day. That’s not a healthy amount of attendance(I'm calling you out posthumously because I care Robert!). This can also look like: praying a certain amount of times. Praying until you do it ‘right’. Confessing every single potential sin. Cataloguing and dwelling over ‘sinful’ things.

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Symmetry or Just Right OCD: Symmetry OCD is the runner up for ‘most likely recognized on tv shows’ award.

Symmetry OCD convinces you that if *insert thing here* isnt symmetrical or ‘just right’ (a magical position or number of objects that makes 0 logical sense) that something bad will happen.

This can range from the known; rearranging things. But it also looks like buying more objects until you reach the right amount and even throwing out objects if theres ‘too many’.

It can range from ‘the walls are percievably not straight so now i avoid that room at all costs otherwise i will be trapped traveling the edges of the wall with my eyes otherwise it will fall in and murder us ALL.’ to ‘ this historical bust is one inch off to the left and now all i see is visions of it breaking against the ground.’

So that is what I have time for. 9 pages on subtypes and basic information. If you find yourself wanting me information all of this is easily accessible online. So go, be free and dont ever compare people to Monk again. Write Batman and Scott Summers with OCD. Give us ACTUAL representation and not throw away joke lines. We are here. Our suffering isnt funny. We deserve representation too.

#OCD #writing help #OCD resources.#*drops 10 pages onto your dash* whoops

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dogtoling · 3 years

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Update Post!

hi fellow splatoons, this is a little update post concerning the blog and some other stuff that really doesn't NEED an update post in the first place, but I love writing and pretending that the things I do are super important to people so I will take every opportunity I can get.

So if you care about some of the things that happen here, boy if this isn't the post for you (but i'll save those of you that dont by putting a read more here...)

First things first; I am back! (I hope.) If anyone noticed I was Literally Gone pretty much for the whole summer, I was stuck in 5am->4pm work limbo and spent my free time decomposing, but now that things are a little bit less Like That i may be able to do more here...

Updates in tagging a few minor tag updates are incoming, for anyone that cares about them. Asks will now be under #mailbox from now on because yeah i could not think of a better name. But that's cool, because now (or from now on, I should say) they will all be under the same tag

All art (including mine and other people's art) will be under #gallery, but i'll be tagging my own as #dodo art on top of it all, so it also serves as somewhat of a fresh start. #friend art is going to become #friend list which is only a reference to the iconic chirpy chips song, and as usual, its only purpose is to make my friends and some mutuals go happy face.

My text posts (including this one) will still be sorted under #rambles as they have been in the past, I don't really see a reason to change that one. The same goes for headcanons, specifically bigger Splatoon headcanon/biology posts, which will still be going under #squidthoughts as they have been in the past. This tag has usually included not only my bigger posts but also smaller posts and food for thought that escalates...

with that being said, I do have some bigger posts that I sometimes spend hours formatting (including things such as the Kraken post which is a comic form, and things like the specials post which is just basically an essay). These are currently sorted with the smaller posts in squidthoughts, because to my knowledge there's not so many smaller posts that it makes finding the big ones a chore - but what do you guys think? let me know if you'd like a separate tag for bigger posts.

Other Stuff, mostly about art

I post art here so rarely at this point that people don't even know that this is PRIMARILY an art account, and I don't know whether that's depressing or actually hilarious. It's a little bit of both. And just as that is a little bit of both, it is also true that this blog is BOTH an art blog and a headcanon- or speculation blog. Bear in mind for the hundredth time that this is not a theory blog, nor is this one of those blogs that sticks to canon like glue (and that's also why this is not a theory blog). If anything, I swerve as far away from canon as possible if need be, because this blog's purpose has pretty much always been to translate Splatoon into something that could actually happen as it's (supposedly) meant to be occurring in the real world. think of it more in the sense of "splatoon but real".

which means that as long as canon events and other things in the games are able to stretch far enough out, my squids are not literally going to be metamorphizing liquid entities (as they canonically are). i just feel the need to periodically echo that... but depending on how far the gameplay and the developers are going to take that canon and how deep they can go with that mechanic, I may eventually have to take that plunge too and that is essentially when this blog dies. LOL (Or rather, probably just changes lanes. Who knows.) Speaking of art and my squids, even though I don't post here very often (MUCH much less than what i actually draw), yes my way of drawing Cephalings changes all the time. and i'm not even sorry but if anyone needed any clarification of how inconsistent i am, there we go! this is because I am pretty much always reassessing my headcanons on inklings and how they work, trying to find that perfect balance between squid and like, Splatoon, and also just trying to have fun drawing. It's an endless cycle really.

SPEAKING OF headcanons (final segway i promise is that even the word for that?), I really haven't even been putting those in here huh. yeah i sure haven't. Well, there is a partial reason for that... i've been working on a proper splatoon headcanon document masterpost for myself since some time in April? Yeah, there's been somewhat of a cog thrown in the wheels of that throughout summer, but either way it does have 130 pages and 40,000 words. I still haven't made up my mind on whether I'm going to publish it anywhere or not (it's an ever-changing document, so that's a 50/50), but that's where my rambles have been going, and honestly I would recommend something like that for anyone because it does help massively to get all of your squid lore in one place!

that's pretty much it i think. if reading this made you think thoughts be sure to let me know those thoughts, thx for reading love u.

#rambles

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anjanettexcordonia · 4 years

Text

Ties That Bind

**Trigger Warnings**

DARK DARK DARK

-NSFW/Mental Health/Violence/Rape Minimal fluff if any at all tbh.

***If you are sensitive to any of these please do not read.

Pairing: Liam x MC, Liam x Riley, Drake x Olivia

Word Count: 4,189 (I know its forever long but its worth it in my biased opinion)

This is my first time writing any kind of fiction. I was inspired by all of you amazing writers! I received positive feedback on this chapter so I’m hoping you all like it too! Its very dark and very very twisted. I can not emphasize it enough.

**READ WITH CAUTION**

Excuse any grammatical errors or misspellings.

This will be a six part series. I do not have a timeline for when I will post. (I’m a mom & work full time)

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Pixelberry.

“Riley it’s time to go, My Queen.” Liam yells from the first floor of their quarters. “Drake & Olivia are already almost to Lythikos with our children and we are still at the palace! Let’s goooooo my love!”

Riley & Liam were preparing to head to their Valtorian Estate for a night before heading to the United States for a week long excursion at their Biltmore Estate in North Carolina. The Biltmore was their American private residence. Left to her after the death of her mother. They went twice a year just the two of them. Their children had never stepped foot on the property. Much less America. Riley hated America. She used the country only to satiate her needs. Her father and sister never visited the Biltmore Estate. Her father primarily lived in his penthouse in New York. Her sister never left their childhood home in the Hamptons. The Biltmore was hers to do with as she pleased.

Riley and Liam make their way down to a blacked out Cadillac Escalade waiting for them in the Royal private exit of the garage.

“Liam, let’s call Drake & Olivia one more time before we get to Valtoria. You know after tonight we won’t be communicating with anyone for a full week.” Riley winked at Liam.

My God this woman is my everything. How did I survive without her? Liam thought.

Liam pulls out his iPhone and scrolls to Olivia's name and hits call.

“Yes your majesty,” Olivia purrs into the phone.

“Hello Liv, just checking on the kids. You and Drake know Riley and I will be incognito for a week. Remember if it’s an emergency reach out to Hana and Maxwell. Do not contact us unless it’s literally life or death.” Drake yells through the phone, “Li we do this twice year every year since the first little squirt you two brought home. We got this. By the way what exactly do you guys do in America that you’ve never told us?”

“This trio is a joy. They are perfectly fine. Uncle Max is on his way with Auntie Hana. This should be a Mary Poppins nightmare.” Olivia chuckled.

“It’s just our special time. Not as King and Queen of Cordonia but as husband and wife. That’s all.” Riley replies. Liam squeezing Riley’s thigh at her smirk, knowing full well that wasn’t exactly true.

“Tell our babies we love them, and take care of and protect them while we’re gone. Don’t let Max feed them too much sugar. They will never sleep!”

Always,” Drake softly spoke, “Uncle Drake and Aunt Livvy are going to show them how fun we really are!” Ellie squeals in the background at her Uncle.

Liam & Riley end the call with a sigh of relief. This trip was going to be catalyst. They both knew they were coming back to Cordonia forever changed.

Three hours later Valtoria came into view. The sun was beginning to set over the cascading waterfall behind the large castle. Riley and Liam had been catching up on last minute emails before they arrived. They had an understanding between each other that during their two weeks a year no work was allowed. No cellphones other than 1 for emergencies only. No laptops no tablets of any sort. They completely unplug.

Bastien stopped the suv in front of the large estate. Liam hopped out running around to hold the car door open for his wife. HIS Queen.

Gladys met them outside the door.

“Your majesties” Gladys dipped into a low curtsy.

“Hello Gladys” Liam replied. Is everything ready for our stay tonight and departure in the morning?”

“It is.” Is there anything else Your Majesty requests?”

“No thank you Gladys.”

As they walk towards the entrance of the large French Gothic style castle, Liam scoops Riley into his arms bridal style and walks her across the threshold.

“Good night everyone. Gladys have our usual chicken tangine, apple butter bread, balava & chocolate cake left in the kitchen. Everyone is excused for the rest of the night.”

Gladys nodded her head at her King’s command and curtsied as he walked up the grand staircase.

“Thank you, Gladys!” Riley yelled down at her.

Gladys and Bastien both knew what that meant. Get out now. Do not come back until sunrise under any circumstances. Gladys and Bastien were the only two who knew. And also who knew why.

Liam carried his bride to their suite. Their bedroom at Valtoria was protected. They had it modified during their engagement. No one was allowed entrance. Gladys was the only person granted entrance for 2 hours to clean after each visit. And only under the watchful eye of the Queen herself. This belonged to them. They maintained this room. Not staff. Not like the palace.

The entrance of the door was built almost as a panic room. A large heavy blast proof door protected the entrance. A Handprint scan of both the King and Queen were the only way of access to their master suite. That entire room was reinforced. It was safe. Nothing and no one was coming through to hurt them. If they ever needed protection, this is where they would bring their family. For now, it wasn’t for their family. It was a source of healing and triumph. It was terror and torture. It was love and pain.

Most of the other service members believed they were simply paranoid. Ruling a country you had a right to be paranoid, is what they told themselves when they walked by the master suite. Some were curious about what was behind that heavy steel door. No one ever attempted to sneak peek. They knew better. No one could explain it, as the king and Queen were very kind and fair people, there was a vibe or an energy that everyone could feel from them. It was uncomfortable. Sometimes there was no emotion from either of them. Hollow blank stares & flat monotone voices. That rarely happened. And when it did, their week vacation was close. Whatever they did during those 2 weeks out of the year made them better each time.

🍈

Liam flashes his million dollar smile down at his wife as they enter. His manhood already dancing in its confines. They enter their bedroom and swiftly close the door. Their bedroom in Valtoria is for them. And them only. No one including their children are granted access. And for good reason. The master suite of Valtoria has a large four-poster bed. Above the bed hung a large medal bar suspended from the ceiling with leather arm straps. arm and ankle straps hung from each corner of the bed. The walls were adorned with shelves of Belts, gags, riding crops and rope. There were shelves of weapons large & small daggers and swords.

The walls were a deep maroon. It was still exceptionally regal but with a darker contrast. This is not a place most people would be comfortable walking into. Most people except the King & Queen of Cordonia.

Liam kicked the door shut with a force that made the door trim rattle. He tossed his Queen on to the bed, climbing on top of her. He pulled her full lips into his mouth and breathed her in. He could never get enough of her. How did he survive without her? Without her touch? Her voice? Her scent? He never needed anyone except her. Only her. Forever her. No one could calm him like she could. She was his safe house and his haven. He could do things with and to her no one else could understand. Her crystal blue eyes darkened into the depths of the ocean only for him. He knew her. He was her. They were one. Not only in marriage but spirit and soul. They were connected.

Riley stared up at her husband taking in every perfect feature and every invisible flaw, only flaws she could see. Only flaws she could love. She understood him. She never had to ask why. She was never afraid. It was Game, Set, Match the first time she locked eyes with his deep dark painful eyes. She could sense him before she ever knew him. Her long honey blonde hair pooled around her head as she sank into his fiery kiss. He was the only man she ever willingly kissed. The only man she allowed to ever touch her body. He worshipped her. He was her breath. She couldn’t breathe without him filling her lungs. He filled the deepest parts of her. Parts only he knew existed. Parts that were created not born. Evil. In every sense of the word.

Fourteen Year Old Riley.

“Mother, why are you crying?” Riley watches her mother standing in her large walk-in closet pouring herself another drink.

“Just go away Katherine Riley.” Ashley sighed. Riley could her the sadness in her voice. Usually her mother just ignored her.

“Mother I..I.. I think it’s best we all stay at school for the summer this year.”

“I SAID GO THE FUCK AWAY! WHAT DONT YOU UNDERSTAND ABOUT THAT?”

Riley felt the sting of tears in her eyes and she quickly turned to walk away.

“Wait Katie” Ashley sighed. “It’s time we had a conversation. You're old enough now & after the things you’ve seen and heard throughout your life, it won’t come as much of a surprise to you, I believe.” Riley turned around. Eyeing her mother not sure what to make of this conversation.

“Your father & I had what you would call an arranged marriage per se. People of our status in life, it’s not uncommon. We dated some. A short while I suppose. Coming from the families that we do it’s important to ensure that our wealth will always continue to grow, we married after a few months of dating.” Ashley took a long sip of her gin & tonic. “To our parents' delight. Not ours. Not mine.”

“Immediately after we married things changed. I was a virgin & I wasn’t ready yet. I wanted to love my husband first. He stole that from me in the most horrific of ways. And you were the product of that. When I look at you, that’s all I see. I see violence, blood and stolen innocence. Each of your siblings were the products of the same. Violent and brutal attacks. Each time left me broken. After the last assault he shattered my pelvis and ruptured my cervix. I can no longer bear children. That’s all each of you are to me. Your father is evil. An evil which you’ve never known. Next time he will kill me. I’m leaving tonight.”

Riley stood stunned. Trying to wrap her mind around what this woman in front of her has told her. She couldn’t understand. She knew her father tortured her mother. She had her the screams and the slams at night. She saw the blood stained carpets and walls in the stairwell in their Hamptons beach house. She knew her father was evil. All too well. Ashely has no idea the hell her children had been going through. He tormented them as well. He would sneak into her room in the middle of the night when the screams finally ended and watch her. Her brothers never spoke of their trauma but she knew it was there.

“Can we come with you Mother?”

“No.”

“Can you wait until after my birthday? It’s tomorrow Mother?”

Riley wasn’t sure why that memory had flashed through her mind. She furrowed her brows in confusion.

“What is it Riley?”

“I was thinking of the night before he killed her. Random I guess.” Liam leaned down and kissed her forehead.

“My King” Riley sighed, holding his forearms in her grasp.

“Yes My Queen?”

“Are we prepared for our return to the estate?” She asked, leaning into to bite his shoulder as he hovered over.

“We are. Our gifts are already waiting for us. They were delivered this morning. They are being fed and groomed as we speak my love. I’m ready for our warm-up before the real work begins.”

Riley’s stomach groaned.

“I’m ready. We can eat when we’re finished.”

🍋

Liam pulled Riley to her feet. He tugged her top above her head. He was thankful she wasn’t wearing a bra. He leaned down taking a taut pink nipple in his mouth, swirling his tounge until it was a hardened peak. He showed the same attention to the other nipple. Riley pulled Liams t-shirt over his head. She always worshipped her playground. She licked her way between each sculpted ab. Liam gripped her hair as she slid his sweatpants to the floor. She leaned on her knees engulfing his engorged length in her mouth while she swirled her tongue all the way down his shaft. She slowly eased him out of her mouth and stood back up.

“Fuck Riley”

“I just needed to taste you my King.”

Liam bit his bottom lip as he pulled her sweatpants down. Leaving her lacy black thong on her hips.

They walked hand in hand to the large bathroom. The bathroom sleek and modern. Liam felt the warmth of the heated floors on his feet as he lifted his Queen into the tub. He grabbed a bottle of baby oil off the counter. He poured a generous amount into his hands and covered Riley’s body in oil. He gently lifted her from the tub carrying her back to the bedroom. He climbed the small steps on to the bed standing on the mattress. Riley lifted her arms into the arm straps suspended from the high ceiling. Baby oil kept her skin protected and also made it more of a challenge for them.

Once she was firmly secured into the arm and ankle restraints with only the medal bar for her to grip onto, Liam stepped off the bed.

“My Queen, what pray tell interests you tonight?”

“Torture me Liam”

“As you wish my Queen, safe word?”

“Celeste My King”

Liam smirked at her chosen safe word. Oh Celeste will know who her king is too when we’re finished with her. Won’t she my Queen?

Liam grabbed a riding crop from the wall and smacked Riley hard across her bare ass. Thong still in place. Riley winced as she heard the crack of the crop against her slick skin.

“Please my king”

“Shut up, you don’t speak until I tell you to open your filthy mouth for me”

Smack. Smack. Smack.

Liam pulled a small dagger from the bedside table. The handle adorned with red rubies in the shape of W & K. King William Constantine Rhys & Queen Katherine Riley Vanderbilt Rhys.

He ran the dagger along her torso up to her neck tracing old subtle scars.

“Open your mouth baby” Liam whispered.

Riley opened her mouth. She could feel her core pooling. Moisture threatening to drip down her thighs.

Liam slid the dagger over her flattened tongue flipping it over in her mouth. He slid the dagger down her chin to her throat. He pressed the dagger more firm into her skin causing her blood to bubble to the surface. He sliced gently to her belly button. Riley wincing in pain but loving the feel of cold dagger dragging down her flesh.

Liam knelt to his knees and clasped his mouth around her nub. Still holding the dagger against her thigh as he gripped her. He dragged the knife across her sex and sliced her underwear in two.

Liam delved his fingers into her sex as hard as he could. He swirled his tongue around clit. Liam pumped and curled his fingers in out of her fast and hard. His rock hard length dripping precum.

More Liam Don’t stop.” Riley screamed.

Hearing Riley scream made Liam abruptly stop completely. Fingers still inside her, Liam pulled his head back to look up at her.

“Did I tell you to speak?”

Sliding his fingers out, Liam grabbed the crop and slapped it hard across her dripping pussy.

“You speak when I say. Next time I won’t be as calm with you.”

“Fuck you Liam” Riley screamed, Venom dripping from her lips. She was seething at his refusal of her release she so desperately needed.

Riley covered in welts from the crop and dried blood across her torso, Liam unhooked each restraint.

“What the fuck Liam? We aren’t finished playing.”

Liam slapped her hard across the face with the crop. Riley’s head falling to her shoulder. Fire burned in Liams eyes as he watched the blood drip down the corner of her mouth. Riley reached for the dagger as Liam crashed his mouth onto hers. Riley could taste a mixture of copper and salt on his tongue.

Riley dragged the dagger across Liams thigh drawing a bit of blood. She reached the hair on the nape of his neck and pulled hard. Liams neck snapped as she slid the dagger across his jugular.

She dragged the dagger across his chest, ripping his chest open watching the blood drip down his chest to his abdomen.

Liam has enough. He needed her now. He had everything he needed from her. He pulled her into his taking the dagger from her and throwing it on the floor. The slight scabs that had formed from the congealing blood on her sternum ripped open with friction of their bodies rubbing together. Liam slammed Riley into the bed. He grabbed her ankles and spread her as far as apart as he could before slamming his hard cock into her waiting center.

Riley screamed in pain and satisfaction. Her manicured nails digging into back as deep as she could grasp him.

“I’m not holding back My Queen.”

Liam pumped into her hard and fast. He put one hand on her stomach pressing down, the other hand securing her leg as he continued to massage her walls.

Riley ran her fingers across the dripping blood mixed with sweat. She slid her bloody fingers into her mouth eyeing Liam.

Liam leaned his head down and licked the blood pooling between her breasts and crashed his lips into hers. He felt Riley’s wall fluttering knowing she was close. His cock tightened as she came underneath him. Liam wrapped his hand around her neck and squeezed as his thrust became frantic. Riley’s eyes were wide seeing the power and fire in his eyes.

Riley tried to say Celeste. She couldn’t breathe. He was choking the life out of her without even realizing it. He was pumping hard concentrating on his thrusts as his cock disappeared in and out of her glistening walls.

“I. can’t. let. go. Riley.” Liam spoke between breaths.

Riley understood. He physically couldn’t let her go. Even if he did kill her. It wasn’t malice or hate. This was raw pure love. This is what he needed from her. From his wife. And this is what she needed. She needed him to bring her to the brink of life and pull her back at the same time. This was them.

Liam found his release deep within her. He released her neck right as everything went black. Riley’s eyes fluttered open with a satisfied grin on her face.

“I love you so much my Queen.”

“I love you Liam.“

They laid together on their white silk sheets breathless. Both of their minds running towards the following week.

“We should get cleaned up my love. We’ve made quite the mess I suspect.” Liam whispered.

They both slowly rose from the cloud like confines in a state of stupor.

They made sure to always have white sheets to see every drop they spilled from each other. They’re bodies marked from each other’s carnal pleasure. A release unlike any they’ve shared with anyone else.

“My King you did well. Let’s leave the sheets for tonight.”

“Very well my Queen. I’m not finished with you yet. We will have a week before our next release.”

The dawn crept through they’re tightly drawn curtains. Riley stretched reaching for her husband but found his side of the bed cold. Riley slowly rose from the bed. Still naked and marked from their endless night. Riley made her way to the shower to find Liam soaking in the tub.

“Join me?”

Riley slid in front of him feeling the sting from her open wounds that covered her body.

“We have a long flight to states in an hour. Are you ready for this Riley?”

“Liam It’s time. It’s time to take off our masks and savor the tastes of revenge. Of freedom.”

“This is our last time. We need to take our time with them. Please don’t make it too quick like last time with Madeline.”

“My king, I take offense.” Riley huffed. “I gave you the release you craved with Madeline. Her life was a sweet release for me.”

An hour later the King and Queen bordered their private jet to American hand in hand.

Biltmore Estate

“I can’t believe I’m doing this for these twisted fucks. Fucking monarchs just get to do whatever they want with whomever they want.” Anthony muttered to himself.

Anthony was the groundskeeper. He took care of everything for his King and Queen during their stays. And they paid him handsomely. He primarily resided at the estate to maintain the grounds as well as the estate itself. The estate held many secrets that he was tasked to solely hold.

“Please” a raspy voice called out.

“Shut up Celeste. Your King is on his way.”

Celeste let a muffled cry as she heard the bars slam shut.

“I’ll be back to get you cleaned up when I’m finished with Ashley and Amelia.”

The private jet landed at the airport in Raleigh North Carolina. Liam and Riley made their discreetly to an SUV meant to take them to their estate.

“Your majesty King Liam” Anthony bowed.

Liam rushed in. “Hello Anthony, you are dismissed. I’ll need the keys to the Bowels please. Our gifts are secure and ready I presume?”

“Yes your majesty, they have been cleaned, fed, and await you. I will take my leave now.”

Riley waited in the suv until Anthony left. She couldn’t maintain a stoic facade during their times away. She spotted Anthony’s car pull away from the estate headed to the servants quarters. Riley rushed out and straight to Liam pulling him into a lustful kiss. They made their way to the nicknamed Bowels, a cellar that has been retrofitted with cells. They hold Liam and Riley’s victims as well as their aggressors.

“Wait Liam, why is Anton here?”

Riley looked on the computers outside the cellar doors in the security room. They were only supposed to have 3 women. She didn’t understand. What was Liam up to?

Liam smirked. Suddenly a loud knocking was coming from the front doors. They glanced down at the monitors. Riley’s eyes widened when she saw the fiery red hair standing in front of the cameras.

“Liam uh where are our children? Please...”

“Riley. They are with Max and Hana in Lythikos. Leo will be there soon to help with them as well. Don’t worry my love. Now to explain about Drake and Liv. They needed to see the truth. About them, about us. I’m ready to share parts of our true selves with the family we created.”

Riley nodded. She was not in a teaching mood.

“Private now Liam.”

“What Riley? What’s the problem?”

“The problem? How can we be US with them? I’m not here to teach them how to become sociopaths like us Liam. Fuck.”

“Relax baby.” Liam only used the baby pet name when he was confident in his prowess.

“Fine. They better not fuck this up and I’m not holding back.”

The two couples made their way to the cellar door. Liam held Riley’s hand while he unlocked the door. The electronic key and palm scanner both sprang green in sequence. Drake and Liv quickened their breath.

“We have a ritual guys if you don’t mind standing back. And you can join if you like.” Riley calmly stated.

Liam and Riley stripped naked. Liam pushing Riley against the cellar door in a hungry kiss. Liv admired the marks and scars the two in front of her were covered in. Some old, some new. She was intrigued. Drake’s breath quickened. They joined their best friends in the nude. Liam and Riley glanced behind them noticing Liv and Drake in the same fashion. None of them faced with the pain they had felt at sometime or the other. The abuse. The abuse that twisted them into who they were. Not who they had become.

The door opened. Celeste gasped seeing her half brother, sister in law, the scarlet duchess & the commoner walking through the door naked. Celeste had no idea what circle of hell she was about to enter. Nor that there were others destined to meet the same fate she would soon come to meet. At the hands of her King and his Queen.

“Hello Cece” Liam laughed in a voice unrecognizable to the others in the group yet all too familiar to his wife.

The demons have come out to play.

#theroyalromance #kingliam queenriley dark twisted triggerwarnings mc kingliamxmc drake olivia

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thenervousmedic · 3 years

Text

I had a minecraft dream last night...

This is going to be a long post, but bear eith me, and take the time to read it.

I don't dream about minecraft very often. In fact this might be a first. I'm still in bed while writing this, as im afraid if I wait I'll lose a bunch of the memories.

It involved myself and a few members of the Dream SMP getting sucked into MC. Ironic, I know. Dream, George, Badboyhalo, Tecnoblade, Wilbur Soot, Tommyinnit, and myself. We all looked like our avatars... mostly, and even had some special skills i'll get into later.

To be clear, they were as they are in real life in terms of personality.

I've not watched the dream smp yet... maybe I should start soon. Anyway, side tracked...

The world worked differently than normal MC. It was more realistic, especially the combat and movement. Anything you can do irl you can do here. The drawback was that it made everything harder and more exhausting.

I was dragged in a month before the others, where over the next four weeks, I'd figure out how the lives system works; how difficult movement was; that crafting was nearly the same as normal mc; and how to build.

Five lives. There was a little tracker on the back of your hand, five squares for five lives. Each life you lost, a square would disappear. But it wasnt that simple. Every tine you died you'd feel the affects of the world more. Eating took longer, everything cost more and more realistic amounts of effort, and most importantly... taking damage would actually hurt.

On your first life damage was less of a danger and more of a 'stat' to just be aware of. Getting attacked, shot, exploded next to, ect wasn't too bad. But the more you died the more these things started to get scary. Arrows would tear their way in and ve painful to remove. You'd bleed and have actual wounds that needed care.

By the time the smp members were spawning in, I'd already been reduced to my last life. I was never good at minecraft, though im alright irl with a bow it didnt help much.

You spawn in unconcious. I'd lost my first life that way. I spawned above water. A painless drowning. I hadn't gone back to the ocean since, it scared the fuck out of me.

The first to arrive was Techno. I went back to spawn for the good sheep spawns there. Found him asleep in the grass. He was lucky no creepers had spawned.

Nearly everyone was bigger than me, I'm pretty small, so hauling this guys limp piglin ass all the way to my little safety shack was really hard.

Then Dream and George one after another. Badboy. Tommy... and finally Wilbur.

Wilbur was... a special case. He was a ghost. Just like his ghostbur skin had been. Fully awake, really freaking out. I was near collapsing from taking everyone else to my home, wasnt really much of a comfort, but I at least managed to convince him to come with me after the sun started to dip.

When we got back Wilbur helped me make beds. Couldn't have everyone sleeping propped up against the walls... Wilbur couldn't grab anything, but he could open and close chests. He also found out he could manafest things like his guitar, and a plushie orca. Things that made him a little less anxious. It was nice to hear music again.

I didnt get to talk to him long. We finished the beds, put everyone on one, then I immediatly konked the fuck out over the crafting table.

By the time I woke up, everyone was already awake and talking. The typical suspects. Why are we here, how, what happened, is this even real. You get the picture. I guess usually social anxiety, especially in the presence of people I admire so much, would've been a big stressor but after a month alone in this world I damn near started bawling at the thought of someone else even existing.

I told them all I know. We are stuck here, we have lives, dont fucking lose them it makes the game harder. The physics are just as janky as regular minecraft, mobs are much more articulated, armour actually has weight and at this point I wasnt aware of the little buffs everyone had to a particular skill.

Dream was incredibly good at exploiting the game's wonky system and parkouring, even of he couldnt nessesarily do it irl.

Techno was suddenly extremely knowledgeable about combat and could handle most weapons effectively. He was also a piglin-type guy which made him immune to fire.

George's coding skills translated directly into redstone knowledge, letting him build ridiculous machines with enough respources.

Tommy had incredible luck with loot and generally got good enchants.

And Bad was, thanks to his skin, some form of demonic entity and would be completely ignored by most hostile mobs.

Wilbur, as you know, was a ghost who could phase through anything and summon ghostly items.

We didn't find out everyone's special trait immediatly, of course. It happened over many days of trail and error trying to collect resources, build, and have fun.

Turns out my skill was useless by myself, hence why I never found it before they arrived. Anything I gave to another person was twice as effective. Healing items helped more, food would fill them on smaller portions, armour would get a free temporary enchant depending on what they needed.

I'd never liked playing minecraft alone.

I'm losing some of the dream, I shoukd wtite some bullet points down or this post will be miles long.

Tommy accidently befriended a wolf, he named it Wilbur to mess with Wilbur. We had two Wilburs.

Bad was constantly driven up the wall by peoples language but truly was using it as a coping mechanism early on because he was afraid of being stuck here forever. We made sure to swear occasionally so he'd get the oportunity to yell at us.

Techno lost his first life when a creeper blast threw him directly into Dream's sword.

Dream never got over it.

Wilbur started making more songs and even made a few targetted at the groups adventures.

Wilbur descovered if he goes into the floor he cant tell which was is up, this terrified him, he never went underground again.

George made automatic farms and eventually even non-minecraft typical things like a morning alarm clock, a compass that pointed to the nearest village, and invented new armour that was more lightweight but still protective.

Wilbur the wolf regularly barked at and mauled giant spiders before they got anywhere near the house, much to literally everyone's relief.

Bad learned how to read and write enchanting table symbols.

I taught Dream how to repair his clothes and in return he showed me how to build traps.

Techno learned he could talk hoglin, piglin, and villager.

Bad learned he could stare at endermen and mistakingly assumed everyone could so he told everyone else its ok to do so.

Tommy lost his first life to an enderman.

Wilbur worked with george for a whole week on special gloves that would let him touch stuff.

I took an arrow dangerously close to the lungs after Tomny's first respawn trying to bring him home.

Dream realised he couldn't take off his mask and wished he could see the world normally again, nobody knew what his vision was like.

Bad descovered a joy for cooking.

Bad also tamed a cat and named it Muffin.

Muffin the cat would ride Wilbur the wolf around.

Dream lost his first life to hunger after pushing himself for too long.

Techno took a wrong step in the neather and lost his second life to a seriously long fall.

I never knew what I looked like...

Tommy lost his second life being overrun by zombies without a weapon. We made a rule to never leave the house alone after this many deaths.

Bad descovered pretty late that milk is poisonous to him and thus cakes will kill him. He lost a life to cake. He was devastated.

Tommy built a cute campfire. He and Wilbur would mess around singing at it. Wolf Wilbur thoroughly enjoyed this.

I would stay up most of the night watching everyone sleep because I worried the house could get invaded or surrounded. They found out after Phantoms started spawning and made a rule that at least one of then would stay awake at night to make me feel better.

George built Dream an obstacle course with lots of moving parts and such. He ran it every morning.

I learned how to play guitar from Wilbur at the campfire.

Torches never burnt out after they arrived. No idea why.

That's all I can remember...

It was a hard dream, I was sad and angry sometimes... but the happy moments made it worth it.

I hope I return to that dream someday.

#dream #badboyhalo #georgenotfound #technoblade #wilbur soot #tommyinnit #minecraft #a dream #long post

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purple-ktj · 4 years

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1 - Do you think the taejin spring day moment in mots on:e where tae literally scurried into jin's arms and standing and swinging in their own world are like them taking a revenge for making them stand at the opposite sides of the stage at bangbangcon+++ given up all the hopes of seeing anymore taejin moments in on:e. but then during no more dream tae didnt let go of jin's hand. then spring day happened again and when tae went or jin's belly >_< I cant just contain myself. pretty much when i thought ok thats it for us we arent getting more then tae melted into jin's arms, this literally made me cry. and then finally during the last bow they stood side by side...ahh my tj heart finds its peace now... what was your reaction of mots on:e

Me - Nope. Don’t think it’s that deep. They were a lot more relaxed and playful on day 2 to have skinship with each other on stage. As usual, Taejin’s moments tend to hit us like a truck when we least expect it. Time and time again, they’ve showed us how significant and special Spring Day is for the both of them. I watched both days, absolutely loved it. Although I’m just waiting for a proper offline concert soon :(

2 - My Mom too is an Army. JK is her bias. Jin & Yoongi took the longest to impress her. She knows that Tae is my fav. She has watched all BTS MVs, stage performances, some run episodes (I watched all), full Soop series, interviews, etc but not any Exclusive ship videos. She could tell about Jikook very early. Last night, she was praising all but forgot Jin. When I got offended, the most unexpected thing happened. She said " Jin is talented & Tae can even Die for him". She could tell🤤 Taejin? When my Mom said those words " Tae can even Die or Give away His Life for Jin", I couldn't respond for a while. I was so emotionally surprised. There are times when I doubt Taejin ( till mid 2019, I used to get confused with Jin's gay panic) then Jin became bolder & more expressive & Tae became subtle only around Jin While he continued to show open affection to JK & others. I doubted Tae's feelings towards Jin. I guess married people know better. My Mom's words truly surprised me.

Me - Jin gay panicking hahaha. It’s vice versa, both of them love each other so much that they’d protect each other with their lives. And we’ve seen it plenty of times. Personally I can’t tell with Jikook at all, they confuse me a lot. Perhaps she knows more since JK is her bias?

3 - As much as frustrated we taejinnies are that taejin never get to share a room do you think anything will happen even if they are together? like throughout the nights every room has cameras set up and they are recorded so probably except sleep-hugging i dont think they would be able to/allowed to do anything right? The closest time they can have in private is the tent where there is no camera inside. luckily BV3 already gave us that moment and tae also said it was spcl for him. what do you think?

Me - Well… I don’t expect anything except some cute interactions and maybe some cuddling? They’re all adults and know better. As for the tent, that is one special unusual exception. Namjoon sitting outside, the other tent wide open, Taejin’s tent zipped shut tight, the odd movements of the tent, and “I’ll never forget that night. It was special”... I have my guesses but the truth remains a big fat “?”.

4 - I am totally in love with your blog. What a waste I dint find it earlier!! I have two things to ask...1. I have read that you write slowly but eventually you are going to complete the 2018 19 20 chronology too right? I just cant wait after seeing the previous years compilation.

Me - Eventually I will, hehe. There’s just… so much to archive in chronological order. Don’t worry, my blog isn’t going anywhere!

5 - Srry fr asking ths late I ws jst going through ur posts nd suddenly one qs striked me. I fully agree on the taejin chronology u posted so it is most likely they hv definitely grown a lot intimate by 2017 fr sure. BV3 took place in 2018. During tht chat wth hobi jin seemed to be aware of whn T will be arriving so they must hv been in cntct. Even they went fr tht water activity together. They got plenty of chances fr J to let T know his room as J knew how T's room will be decided so why didnt he?

Me - I’m not sure either. I think they all just played by the rules. If Tae knew and marched straight into his room, it might have been obvious and the others might have been able to tell that he snitched? Their arrangement in BV3 is a game meant to make the show interesting so there are rules in place. Probably.

6 - In one of your post you said you visited bts concert at jamsil stadium where the so what chest bump happened and it just finished off in a whiff. Apart from so what did you notice any other taejin moment during the show cz the concert videos we see only focuses on the one who is speaking while the rest are not shown specifically. So when they were not on main screen did you notice any cute or subtle moments live?

Me - I saw Tae or Jin hovering around the other a couple of times near my area but besides that nothing much. Also it was my first BTS concert. I was focused on just enjoying it as a whole. There was just so much going on and it all happened so fast I didn’t really have time to pause and think about Taejin except during So What.

7 - While going though your posts I found out your bias was yoongi at first. But judging by your elaborate blog how you dont miss out taejin moments I would like to ask has your bias changed or is it still yoongi?

Me - After a lengthy discussion with my army friend, we came to the conclusion that Yoongi is still the closest to my heart. His lyrics make me cry the hardest. And also keeps me going and moving forward.

8 - Would love to read about a compilation of all taejin spring day and dna moments like the one you made of so what!!

Me - I would love to stop procrastinating and do that too…

9 - What are your top ten bts songs? I mean for me it happened many times after a special moment happens in any song during their performance automatically that song sticks into my head more and thus it climbs up towards the top my favourite bts songs list. This may be just only my heavily taejin biased mind but dis this ever happen to you also?

Me - Top ten… is really hard. Impossible to choose. Hmmm I fell in love with Spring Day and So What before I knew about Taejin.

10 - What's your take on taejin frequently matching clothes on stage during concerts? Yes all of them get similar outfits but I find taejin clothes to be almost giving out couple vibes on stage even. Lol. Probably I am at highest level of delulu.

Me - Yeah, recently they all match more so it’s harder to say but of course my Taejin bias self would say they have a couple vibe too hahaha.

11 - Do you ever daydream like maybe BH is cutting off all the taejin videos not to expose them now but all are actually aware of them even officially and someday when they come out maybe BH will release all these cut moments or make it into a lovely dvd? Yeah just like taejin live in their own bubble world amidst thousands watching them I am going to think about this in my bubble world now.

Me - Lol I shall not pop your Taejin bubble. Have fun xD

12 - Hey, I was wondering what exactly you meant when Taejin got physically involved with each other before labeling their relationship?? I’ve seen a few times on your blog and I was wondering what that meant.

Me - I meant they may have been friends with benefits before they decided to be exclusive- boyfriends/lovers. (Again please take this with a grain of salt, this is only my view/perspective based on what I’ve observed)

13 - Was rewatching BV3 and noticed something what do you think about this please tell-When V arrived in malta he was wearing a black tee and he also had no money to buy anything. When he went for the water skiing he wore 'I love malta' tee which was the same as jin and suga bought before. Since suga left maybe he gave his tee to V but considering how he had an emergency and V never went to the accomodation till night it doesnt seem plausible. Can it be jin who bought the tee for V and gave it to him? Secondly it always seems V and Jin keep in touch via texting during these shoots(jin knowing when V will arrive, V losing his bag, etc) why didnt just Jin let V know the room jinmin were sharing since even after discussing so much about it over lunch taejin even went together for the water ski so there must have been plenty chances. This pretty much makes me think the room arrangements are always scripted, What do you say?

Me - Never thought of that before. Could be? Yoon/jin could have given him the shirt to change into since he was going to do water activities. I don’t think it’s scripted (or maybe to a minor extent to keep the entertainment value) but the boys themselves choose not to interfere with the game?

14 - What are your thoughts about YoonJin? They really vibe well together imo. Ofc, I love Taejin; otherwise, I wouldn't be here. I was just wondering because I saw you say YoonJin had a special place in your heart on Curious Cat.

Me - Yoonjin’s soulmate-ry is something I related to on a personal level. Also because my MBTI type is the same as theirs, INTP. They silently but fiercely protect and appreciate each other. They love each other like old married couples do, I feel. A lot of trust, admiration, can easily fall back and rely on one another. They have a really good spiritual and mature connection? A very stable and compatible pair. And also love the fact that Yoongi becomes babier around Jin.

15 - "what are we going to do taehyung-ah? do you want me to tell them to interview you?" this is one of the softest taejin moments ever. seokjin wanted to cheer taehyung up so bad and he was willing to go to the interviewers and ask them to interview taehyung just so he could say the ment he prepared. he then proceeded to interview him himself just to make him smile and it worked and taehyung stopped sulking and seokjin had the sweetest smile and proudest face. he loves his taehyungie so much 😭

Me - And he has constantly been doing so throughout the years. It’s so soft, Jin is that sort of boyfriend who would jump through hoops to make sure Tae’s happy. I love them so much.

16 - seokjin asking taehyung to look pretty for the camera and tae doesnt want to at first but when seokjin counts down he does it with no second thoughts.. and seokjin's fond smile.. theyre in love

Me - They’re very in love. Also Tae said a lot so why was the sound muted when he was ‘arguing’ with Jin?

17 - something about the way taehyung called seokjin jwan 😭 he said it in such a soft way with the biggest smile and he is just the babiest at this point.. and the way he said that instead of boo because it sound like voo and he was so happy with his little joke PLEASE this was so so so cute and jwan is such a cute nickname

Me - Biggest baby with his puppy round eyes. If they ever go on vlive and start calling each other Voo and Jwan consider me dead.

18 - i love how seokjin always makes sure taehyung gets to say what he wanted to no matter what, and he does it so naturally.. he will urge him during interviews, during lives, etc, he will practice with him, hype him, pretend to interview him and will turn the whole world around just so taehyung will get to say his words. and he is so proud when he does.. i also love how taehyung practices with seokjin, he knows he is both rooting for him and pretty fluent in english. i love these moments so much 🥺

Me - Me too. They make sure they express how much they love and support each other no matter what and going the extra mile to show it. They’re so incredibly soft.

19 - i do believe taejin are dating at this point but even if theyre not theres no doubt in me that taehyung is head over hills in love with seokjin, and seokjin has the biggest soft spot ever for taehyung and his eyes are dripping with fondness. either way, taejin is beautiful.

Me - Either way, Taejin is so in love. Beautiful couple in and out.

20 - I do think BH treats taejin differently compared to other ships,but I feel the more they cut taejin scenes, the more obvious they’re making it. Yoongi can hold Tae’s belt but Jin can’t and the abrupt cut is way too obvious. I wonder how their editing goes like how they decide which scenes to include and all, it still amuses me how they cut off the scene where Jin was abt to hold Tae’s belt but included the scene where tae calls Jin husband, btw love ur work, stay happy and safe

Me - I wonder how their editing works too. It could be something or could be nothing deep. Thank you <3

21 - Before the Run ep got aired, i was like Tae would be happy cuz Jin is the teacher instead of being in opposite team. And i was right 😁 Even in behind the scenes, even when he's wrong, his smile never leaves and he keeps doing stuff to get Jin's attention. Who is also enjoying having his Tae in the front~ 🤭 This run ep was a treat to all senses really, especially with Jin being the handsome teacher we all want and their hilarious bickering like real students 🤭~ 😁

Me - Tae was happy to be looking straight at his teacher the entire class sitting in front hahaha. He was so eager and excited and they were all so cute. I lost it when Jin cheated him of the correct answer while they were making eye contact but he was still so happily bragging about it. “The teacher gave me the wrong answer while we flirted!! :DD”

22 - I've been wondering this question for a while, sorry if u already mentioned it, my memory's not great. Do you think Taejin will ever come out, like properly? They've been so domestic and confident in 2020. Don't you think, if anyone would bring change to the taboo around LGBT in Korea, it would be BTS? They're so big and influential now I feel like they could change things. Maybe I've got my head in the clouds, but … I hope so. One day.

Me - Their boldness and domesticity to me is because their relationship seems more or less stable, as compared to before. They’re happier now and it shows. BTS is big and influential and broke barriers and created history, but the sad fact is that they’re still very much subjected to xenophobia, racism and all sorts of prejudice. There will always be antis awaiting their downfall. Granted if there’s anyone to ‘break’ this taboo surrounding LGBT, it could be them, but probably not now? After winning the Grammys and after they hold another world tour maybe? Idk. Even if they don’t, they still have impacted and saved millions of lives across the world. Let’s see what the future holds for BTSARMY.

23 - Hi I'm new to this app. I recently discovered it from reading your analysis which I love by the way and decided to become a member of this app thanks to you. I had watched a taejin video concerning who's more possessive V or Jin? Personally could you please explain to me who do you think is the most possessive out of Taejin?

Me - Hi! I think both are equally so? Tae may be more obvious and direct about it while Jin is more subtle but both of them seem to be on the same page regarding this matter.

24 - Hi. I love your blog so much & i myself have no doubt that Taejin are in a relationship, but i am curious about when you first had suspicions towards Taejin, did you also observe all other BTS ships? Or did you just observe Taejin exclusively?

Me - When I saw that SMA hug in 2018 after watching Burn the Stage I thought something was off. I didn’t observe any particular pairings but I saw the popular pairing compilation and crack videos. Sope, Namjin, Taekook, Jikook, Vmin and Yoonjin? And HopexML. Didn’t watch Taejin at all.

Do you think Taejin is the only romantic ship in BTS? Or are there any other ships that you have suspicions of as well?

Me - Just Taejin. I am curious about Jikook but not curious enough to observe them closer.

Because i have some questions regarding Yoonmin, Jikook, & Sope. And since your bias is/was Yoongi, i wanted to hear your opinion on this since you always try to be as objective as possible. I've always thought all other BTS ships besides Taejin was platonic, but i can't be too sure about Yoonmin. I see Sope as best friends with extremely good chemistry, & eventhough i see tension & romantic potential btwn Jikook, for me Jikook seems like they haven't cross the platonic line yet. Jikook to me seems like either it's one-sided pining, mutual pining, or they are just friends who are extremely comfortable with flirting with eachother. But...i'm not too sure about Yoonmin? What are your thoughts about them? Have you ever been suspicious of them or you just don't feel there's anything to be suspicious about btwn them? How would you describe Yoonmin's relationship?

Me - I agree with you that Sope is 100% platonic best friends with amazing chemistry.

Jikook confuses me a lot. When I think about lack of boundaries, I think Vmin, Jinkook and Taekook. These are platonic-lack-of-boundaries pairs. Jikook is kind of one level above this category? They’re very free and don’t restrict themselves but they also don’t have that “nervousness” or “awkwardness” like Taejin does. I don’t know where they belong. Rather than being comfortable with flirting, it’s like flirting is their “default” mode? Yeah I don’t know, it’s confusing. I have never been suspicious of Yoonmin… don’t think there’s anything suspicious between them? They tease each other a lot?

Another question (i'm so sorry), what are your thoughts about Jungkook? To me i find him the hardest to understand since he's not my bias & because he's just so talented in almost anything he does that it makes me unable to relate to him at all. His behavior towards Jin, Jimin & Taehyung makes me go ???????? sometimes because they are pretty questionable. Like... it's impossible for him to harbour some sort of feelings towards all of his three hyungs right???? So my head just hurts sometimes thinking what Jungkook is doing. His tattoos; with purple heart & crown near "V", "J" being on his ring finger and yet "JM" is also near his ring finger, him eating the ramen Taehyung spat out during eatJin, him kissing Jin's ankle (though he maybe did it just as a joke), his whole GCF in Tokyo with Jimin....i could go on and on about the weird things Jungkook does. Jungkook is absolutely bizarre to me & I have no idea how his brain works.

Me - If you say it like that, then I’ll have to say he’s “questionable” towards all of his hyungs. Take the tattoo out of this equation, his tattoo is meant for BTSARMY. JK is probably the one and only one who has zero boundaries with all his hyungs? Because he’s their baby, all of them. Don't forget that he's lived with them since he was 15. I don't think he's bizarre at all, it's just the way he's extremely comfortable around all of them. As an elaboration of my opinion above, the fact that JK seeks out Jimin and spends their time a lot together off camera is special to Jikook in the way Taejin is special because you can see Tae wants to "EatJin". They're impossibly close, in many aspects. Again, I'm going to emphasise that this does not mean I'm implying Jikook is exclusively romantic. They have a special bond, I don’t know what it could be, they confuse me but I think that the amount of time they spend together, not just as BTS is special.

I apologise for sending this type of ask here instead of your Tumblr but because your Tumblr is a Taejin centric blog i didn't know if it would be appropriate to ask there so i sent it here instead. If possible i would love to hear your opinion on this. Sorry for such a lengthy ask, but if you're unable to answer this i totally understand as well. It's just that you're one of those few people in the fandom that i really trust with having a clear thought since you observe BTS dynamic as a whole.

Thanks in advance 💜💜💜🥺

Me - Yeah I kind of broke my own rule lol but it was interesting to think about. No problem I had fun with your question 😄 I am rather intrigued about the Yoonmin part? It never crossed my mind.

25 - You know, i've seen some ARMYs who are genuinely confused about which ship to believe in.

For example, the sleeping arrangements in the SOOP, they watched the Namjin analysis video and then they watched the Taejin analysis video & they say they don't know which one to believe in.

Do you have any tips for these poor souls so that they can find the answers themselves?

Thanks in advance. Also if this ask belongs in the Tumblr compilation more than this place then feel free to paste this ask there instead.

Me - I'm just an anon ranting about Taejin here 😅 ... Errr, there's no rule you need to ship anyone? We're here for BTS and their music after all. YouTube analysis videos mess with my brain more than anything, I'd rather watch the actual video. Otherwise it's totally cool to casually ship any pairings you like. If I wasn't into Taejin I'd probably casually be into Yoonjin and Jinkook.

26 - Hello! In response to anon's ask about JK's influence on Taejin's relationship, I think despite all of them alr being in their 20s, Jk will always be treated as the maknae by Jin and Tae (and other members). Both will coddle him and give him a free pass for many things simply because he is their "baby" brother. I think because of JK's maknae status and Taejin's innate affection for him, taejin aren't opposed to showing PDA with him (and in front of each other no less). I think Tae is less jealous about Jinkook PDA as compared to Namjin or any other pairing. Similarly, beside with Tae, Jin doesn't seem that outwardly affectionate (e.g. back hugs) to other members except Jk. In defence of taekook's friendship, I don't think they are "not close" but their friendship is certainly different. Older members like Tae might not confide about their troubles and inner thoughts with Jk simply because he has less life experiences and seemingly less wise. Their relationship is probably less deep, but they get along v well on more light hearted things and that's great as well.

Sorry my comment is so damn long, but I guess this brings me the point where Taejin's relationship is definitely not brotherly especially when Jin treats Tae so differently/partially compared to the other dongsaengs. If Tae was just a brother figure to Jin like the others, putting myself in the shoes of say Jimin and Jk, I would feel quite jealous and upset that Jin showers Tae with much more attention and affection.

Me - I think you explained it really nicely 😄 thank you! Also because JK has been through a lot and matured so much faster than his peers did at a young age, his hyungs would want to ensure that he’s taken care of and loved at all times instead of unloading their worries on him.

27 - I am a new taejinnie and I was reading your blog in the past few days, I have to say the amount of info is a bit overwhelming even if you do make a really good job at posting stuff in chronological order, so it becomes truly helpful. But I have seen a bit of misinformation by you, and many other taejinnies have done it in the past, which is a bit concerning to me. I am not going to name all of them, but I am curious about one in particular, tae's wallpaper in that paris vhope vlive. Why do you say with such conviction that it's Jin in the photo? Other shippers claim to be someone else and I even saw others saying that it's tae himself. I see no resemblance to the jin photo by naver, since jin's sleeve is much looser and the person in tae's pic seems to be holding smth like a camera and also has a watch on his wrist. I have noticed that taejinnies tend to hype some moments that we don't have proof of and get spread around but then are proven to be wrong. Some of those are the blanket kick "kiss", the "saranghe" from the so what moment, the bon voyage "matching" tattoos, this jin wallpaper, to name just a few. I don't like us to be like taekookers, so I'd love to only take into account the things that are solid proof and not stuff we wish for it to be there. Maybe some would say that this is not that deep and I shouldn't take it so seriously, but if we are to say that taejin really are a hidden gay couple, then we need to back this up with info that can be proven and not just by our wishful thinking.

Me - I’ll be honest, your message rubs me off the wrong way. I do not care what other shippers say or think, if you have watched the VHope vlive and think it’s not true, that’s fine. If you haven’t watched it, please do so and form your own conclusions. I do not assert that my opinion is correct, and I have said plenty of times to take my content with a large pinch of salt, read at your own discretion. This is a blog where I free my thoughts and fangirl Taejin and put up some topics for discussion. Not a place for people to verify facts about Taejin. Tae’s wallpaper in Vhope’s vlive has a strong resemblance to Jin in the White Day photoshoot by Dispatch, but it is likely not a photo taken by Dispatch but his own camera phone. In other words it’s his own photo of Jin in that same setting during the actual photoshoot.

28 - One of the moments which made me a taejininie was the ending of dimple at 5th muster magic shop but after watching the performances of all 4 days I realised that moment may be a fanservice as it was enacted on 2nd day of both busan and seoul. Also if you follow jin's fancam on seoul 2nd day as the lights went out he winked at tae which might indicate this was all planned maybe? My bubble has burst. Help me!!!😭😭😭😭😭

Me - I think perhaps you should look more into their stage and concert performances and concert DVDs to have a better understanding of their bold and loud moments on stage. At one glance, any of their on stage moments can look like mere fanservice. This is one thing I find difficult to explain, it’s easier once you have a better grasp of their dynamics on and off stage. Take a look at my So What post, that might help. If you’ve observed Taejin enough you’ll know they don’t do stuff just to please others.

29 - I want to say something to taejinnies who keep worrying about them, so this won't be an ask, but my pov.

So a while back I used to get really insecure about them whenever they had their more quiet moments. But actually, there's something that most of us have noticed and it's very important when talking about taejin as a couple: that we rarely have "in-between" moments, it's mostly just hot or cold with them. And you talked about it too before, but I just think we need to repeat this thing to taejinnies who lose faith, at least once in a while. There's a reason taejin was the first ship, but also a reason why other armys really can't see them. It's always tkk, vmin, jinkook and lately vhope, but it's always been taejin. If armys would pay attention to the important things, taejin would definitely stand out. From singing a love ost together, to always being side by side behind the scenes, sharing the two seats of a couch or riding a bus, always together, sometimes even stuck shoulder to shoulder. They don't need to do loud things to prove anything to anyone, it should be obvious by now how biased they are for each other. If this doesn't prove that they're romantically involved, it at least proves that they are the closest members in bts. They've been so constant during all these years, basically the only bts ship to actually be this visibly close, but annoyingly for us, invisible to others, for some weird reason. Why do you guys think that most of the questionable thing tae has done are with jin? And how come Jin is soft only with tae, out of all the boys in the group? He compares him with flowers, his touches are gentle, his eyes speak volumes. Tae on the other hand takes care of Jin like he does no other, he loses the formalities with jin the most, and he doesn't shy away to always declare his fondness and love for jin. I have no idea why all this just evaporates whenever taejin become more quiet, but it should be logical to every taejinnie that if these things have lasted for 8+ years, they will last even more. They're at the age where friendships and bonds don't break that easily.

So please trust our taejin and don't expect them to always have moments just to please us, and please don't go around saying that taejin "broke up". At the end of the day, I trust that their bond is forever.

Me - I agree with you so much :) there are so many loud and subtle moments caught on camera but we forget that we don’t see the “in between” or them just alone together being themselves. There is just so much more to them that we haven’t seen and don’t know about. Yet time and time again, they have always shown how tight knit they really are. I trust that their bond is forever too.

30 - To this day, I cannot convince myself that the Burn The Stage fight was just that. They were not arguing over the choreography, no. The choreography seemed to trivial of a reason for what happened and what was said. There had to be more to it, some context from the past. It seemed like a bottle up over a long period which then poured out with the choreography as an excuse. Not to forget, the clip was, of course, edited. I am also not convinced that the "make-up" they had on camera was it. They probably talked for sometime by themselves later and may or may not have taken sometime to get back to their regular dynamics. I also feel that Jimin came to retrieve them because he knew or at lease felt like their was more to this fiasco and did not want things to be said on camera.

Me - Bits of the fight was cut and some parts didn’t really match, it was edited to show only the choreography issue for the documentary. I wrote a whole post about it, do read it!

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moonlightchn · 4 years

Text

𝖂𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖜𝖔𝖑𝖛𝖊𝖘, 𝖜𝖔𝖑𝖛𝖊𝖘

and basic shit you should know before interacting I guess~

*Disclaimer: all the information this post contains will be based on things I’ve learned over the years and my personal modifications are NOT to be taken as the general rule. This is MY abo concept for this bot in particular. Yall are free to agree, disagree, take ideas, adapt to your own bot, etcetcetc. Bye. Also sorry this doesn't have a read more;;;; I tried :(

Hello, this is (not) JYPe,

and welcome to the first episode of “Admin’s abo concept isn’t probably what you think so we gonna go in dept on this shit hehe ”. This was originally going to be a one part documentary but I realized I would probably keep coming up with or remembering stuff and these would be so LOOONG so I decided to just do it as I go and I’ll use the hashtag “admins abo tmi ” for this yeah. But also remember you can ask questions if you have any or if you don’t understand something because I usually ramble a lot.

Today we’ll be talking about 3 things that seem to be the most important since they’re the most brought up on my RP’s and they are:

Turning/Transforming.

Heat vs Rut.

Mates.

So let’s begin!

🌙 𝕿𝖚𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌/𝕿𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖘𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖌…

There’s two meanings to this concept, one is the concept of turning from human form to wolf form, and the other one is being transformed into a wolf by different means (these usually depends on which story you’ve heard, it can be being the 7th boy child in a family, it can be a bite or a scratch, it can be eating raw meat, etcetcetc).

*This change has now also been added to the Chan’s pack introduction.

What are the definitions of this words? Cambridge Dictionary defines them as:

Turn: to (cause to) become, change into, or come to be something.

Example: “Chan turned into his wolf form”

Explanation: Chan, already a werewolf, turned and changed into his wolf form.

Transform: to change completely the appearance or character of something or someone, especially so that that thing or person is improved.

Example: “Changbin was transformed into a werewolf.”

Explanation: Changbin, a regular human, was transformed /by a wolf/ into a werewolf.

𝕿𝖚𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌…

In the classic folklore, turning consists of 2 phases, human with NO wolf characteristics whatsoever, (which is what makes it so hard finding out who the werewolf in town is) and fluffy wolf with some human like characteristics (being biped, having arms instead of four legs, body structure humanlike. The best examples I can think of are the underworld lycans mmm tasteful). Another general rule for classic werewolves was that the person and wolf were two different minds, the person never remembered turning and had no idea they were the werewolf terrorizing town. While being human, the person didn’t even have the wolf skills like hearing or strength. They were just regular boring humans. Another thing was that they had no control whatsoever and ONLY turned during full moon, but I’m not getting into that yet.

Here are some examples (it’s basically furries oop).

Moving on to my concept, I decided to have 3 phases of turning, consisting on:

Human: Basic, simple, boring human. No presence of wolf features whatsoever. YET they can still make use of their skills such as sensitive hearing, smell, extra strength among others.

Half-turn: Heavily inspired by Teen Wolf tbh, SOME features are present and can generally be controlled, such as eyes, ears, tail, fangs, claws. Can even be confused for hybrids. (sumn like this please appreciate my art)

Full-turn: they become big scary fluffy puppies. Let’s remember how they look like.

Channie Chan Chris

𝕿𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖘𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖌…

As mentioned before, transforming depends on which story you know and what you’re settling for. Generally we always talk about bites and deep scratches. Some of the most known stories about how to become a werewolf are being the 7th boy child born in a family on a full moon, or in Greek mythology, Zeus transformed some dudes into wolves after they tried to feed him human meat. There’s many different stories you can pick from, they’re just one Google away~

On my concept, though, the only way to transform is through a bite, even though I always keep options open.

I will probably be talking about the 3 types of wolves and deepening this a bit more later on.

🌙 𝕳𝖊𝖆𝖙 𝖛𝖘 𝕽𝖚𝖙.

Imma give you a wolf biology class because I know too much useless info and I WANT TO.

Rut: The rut is the mating season of certain mammals. The rut is characterized in males by an increase in testosterone, exaggerated sexual dimorphisms and increased aggression and interest in females.

Heat: The estrous cycle or oestrous cycle is the set of recurring physiological changes that are induced by reproductive hormones in most mammalian therian females. Estrous cycles start after sexual maturity in females and are interrupted by anestrous phases or by pregnancies. This cycle presents four phases, the one known as “heat” being the second one, estrus or oestrus, that refers to the phase when the female is sexually receptive.

What are seasonal breeders and what is mating season?

The breeding season is when seasonal breeders reproduce. Seasonal breeders are animal species that successfully mate only during certain times of the year. These times of year allow for the optimization of survival of young due to factors such as ambient temperature, food and water availability etcetc. Male seasonal breeders may exhibit changes in testosterone levels, weight, and fertility depending on the time of year. Female seasonal breeders will have one or more estrus cycles only when she is “in season” or fertile and receptive to mating.

Wolves fall in all of these descriptions.

What does all of this shit mean and why do I care lmao?

This means that if this was a logical bot I should only be doing NSFW like one week during 4 months a year LMAO no frfr

This basically means that RUT and HEAT are the seasons when the MALE and FEMALE respectively are ready to mate with each other to reproduce.

I’ve seen many male idol hybrids having heats instead of ruts, which I have no problem at all with and am sure no one else does really, but I think you should KNOW that a heat would not make them want to fuck, but get fucked. Heat would be the need to be filled and not fill others. A heat and a rut does NOT have to equal dominance or submissiveness in bots, anyway, that would be like saying being top or bottom determines who is dom/sub and that’s wrong, so just a PSA I guess.

Now, how does this affect my CB and ABO concept?

I’ve never, anyway, read anywhere of classic werewolves reproduction, which leads me to believe that they’re probably sterile. So I will stick to real life wolves rules but on my own way. Wolves are even monogamous and I dont go by that one lmao.

Reproduction rules on my ABO are really simple, ruts are once a month, around 5 days, and each of the guys have different characteristics for them. They’re only capable of getting someone pregnant during ruts, too. I just generally believe all girls are on the pill tbh and I never really use condoms but guys irl please practice safe sex wrap your or your partners willy before going freaky and stay safe.

Not sure if there’s something else to mention here? Let me know.

🌙 𝕸𝖆𝖙𝖊𝖘…

Mates are the wolf equivalent of soulmates, but that’s bullshit. I mean, I’m not gonna say they’re not real, I just mean that the general idea of only one person for the rest of your life and if it’s not them you’re miserable is dumb when we’re talking about beings with feelings. Did you know wolves irl are monogamous and mate but if their mate dies they just look for another one and move on? Now you know.

The thing with mates and marks, in my humble opinion, is that they don’t mean anything. Peoples hearts change, feelings come and go, and my wolves are NOT about to drop everything they have for some person they don’t know who happened to be their true mate. In fact, Channie is the only one who believes in them. The mates issue is a bit complex if we think about it over each of the Chan’s, but on a general idea, the mates are not exclusive for the guys, and I’ll probably make a tmi on the boys at some point, but Chan met his mate and it didn’t work out, for example. Mates go further than the marking, btw, mates are a special, cosmic bond. Marks are just that, marks.

And talking about that, we do not vibe with marks. The original folklore states marks as the way a wolf has to claim their partner as theirs and keep away others, especially from an alpha, and they’re supposed to go both ways, so marks between human/wolf, for example wouldn’t be possible. There’s also two marks.

The first bonding mark is generally given during sex between mates and heals, and the second one in front of the pack (there’s a whole social status thing involved here but were not touching that yet) and its permanent. Also marks are literal WOLF BITES so no, they’re neither small nor cute. Just look at these teethies and picture the scar in a neck-shoulder. That’s your bonding mark.

(they're cute tho I uwuuu)

What I’ve been reading around in fanfics and seeing around is that bots have been mated and claimed with marks, which is ok if you’re into that. My chan’s, though, find physical marks archaic, possessive and toxic. And honestly I personally do too.

You may have noticed by now that even though the boys are quite possessive, they’re never trying to scare away others and their sole way of marking is love marks that heal eventually and scenting. Permanent marks are a nono.

They will NOT mark anyone as their mate. Especially Channie plz he’s baby.

This is a personal decision and it does not mean that marking is RIGHT or WRONG. I just personally see marking bites as marking your partner with fire or something and I dislike the idea a lot.

ALRIGHT I THINK THAT’S ABOUT IT FOR TODAY I FEEL LIKE I WROTE TOO MUCH ALREADY??? Feel free to ask questions or request certain topics! I think next topics will be Social Structure, Skills and maybe Self control or Moon Cycles.

If you read all of this WOW CONGRATS??? I LOVE YOU EXTRA MUAH

One question I got on the asks was “since their fur color seems to correspond with their hair color, what happens if they dye their hair?”

Nothing happens babe! When they’re half turned they will have really funny colorful hair, but when they fully turn their fur stays the same! hehe Don’t worry, Chan won’t be a clown red wolf heh

OK BYE MUAH MUAH

Tags (hmu for removal:] if you don’t care about this hehe)

@yandereminholee @bunjihyo @shinhaneul-oc @sub-chungha @song-mingi-cb @grungeyuta @yourhwaa @bunny-woong @princess-yeji @xash-axx @7deadlysins-chan @camgirl-jihyeon @hybrid-wooyoung @vampirehhj @ghoulxbaekhyun @mafiaxnct127 @deadly-skz-gods-cb @mafia-chaeyoung @vampiresanha @sub-minho @starsirah-oc @femboy-minho @subbyhyunjinchatbot @weeb-wonwoo @yandere-wendy @musiclovermino @galaxy-ateez @chanlix-koalas @vampirechangbinnie @mafiafelixlee @madmanwoodam @sweetandsleepyjamie @yanderedahyun @hunter-chaeyoung @hwangyeji-cb @artsydahyun @gamer-yeji @yourminju @seulgi-foxy @kittensua-cb @softbabieinnie @softboyfriend-cb @iceskater-sana @irregularchatbot @yandere-miya @doll-seungmin @skz-cb @subbylino @babie-sanie

#admins abo tmi

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