#you got trouble folks

[socksandsandals17]

Spend my days wasting away

Potential for greatness thrown out

Watching the water ebb and flow

In hope for my chance to grow

~~Katelyn

[royalarchivist]

Turned the Judgemental Cucurucho Stare into a gif because it made me laugh too much.

Bonus version:

[glitchingicarus]

Send in the Clowns!

August 1st - 7th is (apparently) national clown week, and I have some fun little clown/circus themed goodies available over here, if y'all wanna take a peek. 🎪

[innytoes]

Dark fantasy AU?

-In hindsight, as he's being chased through the forest, hunted by mythical creatures is not where Reggie thought he'd end up when his folks told him they were moving to Los Angeles. Honestly, considering how he used to roam the woods and fields near his Meemaw's farm, the fact that he'd stumbled into a fairy circle near the beach was almost insulting.

-It's not even that he manages to outrun them. It's that one night (he thinks it's night, though time moves differently here and light and dark are all tangled up and is the purple haze of the sky supposed to be dusk or dawn or just a dark stop of the forest?) he'd decided to just... give up.

He couldn't remember how long he'd been running, running from the pounding of hooves and the yapping of dogs that did not look anything like what a dog should look like. He couldn't remember a time where he wasn't hungry, or thirsty, or tired, but something inside of him just kept making him run and run and run

-But he'd had enough. So he just sat down, with his back towards the noise, and hoped they'll kill him quickly. And to comfort himself, he sang the lullaby his Meemaw used to sing when he was scared of the thunder.

-That's what saved him. One of the fae, Caleb, was so charmed by the song that instead of doing whatever it is they did with their prey, he bundled Reggie up and took him to his... castle. Dwelling. Domain.

-He was dressed in finery and made to sing as Caleb and the other fae danced and ate and did things that Reggie very much had not wanted to see, thank you very much. But eventually, they slept, and Reggie met... the other humans who were trapped here.

-Luke, a young boy who had run away from home to become a musician in 1875. He was distraught to hear Reggie tell him it was the nineties now. Even more distraught when Reggie clarified it was the 1990s.

-There was Alex, who had been cast out of his village for reasons he did not want to share, but that Reggie figured out pretty quickly when he saw the way he looked at Willie. He'd fallen asleep near a fairy circle, and the promises he'd been made had been so tempting, he'd said yes before he fully understood the deal.

-And then there was Willie. The boy who had been stolen from his parents, a changeling left in his place. Who had grown up here, a part of this world yet not really. Who did not know what the other boys meant when they talked about years, or America, or really the whole concept of 'family'.

-Luke's the one who tells them of their escape plan. Alex is worried they can't trust Reggie not to rat him out to Caleb, and Reggie is like: um excuse me I was just hunted for sport for who knows how long you think I wanna help that guy?

-But before he can Willie just tilts his head and says: his heart is pure.

-Which is very sweet but also a little creepy.

-Anyway, they do manage to escape Caleb's clutches somehow, and end up back in the human world.

-Being yeeted out of a little ring of mushrooms in the soil of a plant Ray overwatered in the big plant wall of the Molina studio was not particularly pleasant, okay. Considering a real human should not be able to fit through that. But Willie explained that as soon as a fairy portal grew, it was only a manner of time that the fairies would notice it and stake it out to see what they could lure to their realm.

-Somehow, Luke and Alex get thrown clear across the room, Luke slamming against the door, Alex dropping onto the concrete floor.

-Reggie's not sure if him crashing against a pretty wooden piano is better or worse. The sound it made was definitely worse.

-Somehow, Willie ends up sitting crosslegged on the little piano bench, and he turns and quickly crushes up the mushrooms to destroy the portal.

-Julie, of course, is screaming, Alex and Luke and Reggie are screaming. Willie is trying to explain to Julie she over-watered her fern and pouts when she runs away.

-No they're not ghosts but they are changed and they all have weird powers. Luke nearly cries with joy that he can still summon his guitar. Alex is really not okay with this whole 'walking through walls' thing. Reggie is sad he cannot summon a puppy or a pizza.

-Willie can teleport short distances and is shocked to learn humans can't just do that? You have to walk everywhere? Or ride a horse. What's a car? What's roller skates? He needs to see one of these skateboad things immediately, let's summon the human girl back to ask for one. What can they trade for a skateboard?

-They're kind of freaked out at the whole 2020 thing, but hey, Reggie's like: at least it hasn't been a hundred years like when I told Luke about the 90s.

-Queue canon but it's even worse and more chaotic.

[bloody-shadow666]

Personally I think the appeal of the Folk Of The Air series (or the cruel prince, whichever you call it) is that the protagonist is just straight up fucked up. Like she's not as outwardly bastardly as darling Kaz Brekker (another groundbreaking protagonist, imo) but Jude Duarte is 12 shades of Horrible and she is mostly unapologetic about it. She's like 17 years old and has a shockingly high body count. She stole a whole ass kingdom. She almost murdered her own sister over a boy. She poisons herself willingly. She watched her parents die in front of her and is more upset that the man who killed them won't take her seriously than the fact that HE KILLED HER PARENTS IN FRONT OF HER. (daaaad you just don't UNDERSTAND). She spent her whole life learning how to read between the lines to avoid shitty faerie bargains and misses a super obvious one because she thinks her boyfriend (husband??) just dumped her so she watches Yuri On Ice with a pint of Ice cream and cries about it. She beat the shit out of a cannibalistic ex General with a rusty metal pipe with such ferocity that said cannibal became one of her most trusted advisors. Everything she does is deeply fucked up and cool and also reeks of the rage that somehow builds up when you are, tragically, a like 17 year old girl. Her twin sister is supposedly so much more calm and collected and well adjusted until one day she shows up in tears like "help I killed my husband that you hate" just straight up stabbed him one day. Because she is also suffering from being a like 17 year old girl. It's so funny. I love these books.

[exhausted-archivist]

Comparing and Contrasting Recipes From the Cookbook to Previous Mentions: The Differences, Similarities, and My Thoughts

A full list of recipes that have been previously mentioned in the series, coupled with my thoughts on the cookbooks working recipe in comparison.

I find interest in the fact that the working recipes have little to no grounding in lore as they are often in contradiction to the lore blurbs that accompany them or are in direct contradiction of in game recipes in instances that don't seem apparent as to why they made the ingredient change. Fluffy Mackerel Pudding being the exception to this.

But I broke this into 4 sections:

Previous Dishes Recipes and Their Differences

Drink Recipes

Lore Differences, General Notes

Short Summary of Opinion

Going to put all of this under the cut as it is super long.

Previous Recipes and Their Differences

Antivan Gnocchi This one was a curious one, as the dish was only recently introduced into Thedas in Tevinter Nights. I enjoyed the lore blurb for this recipe as it really anchored in some food and cultural facts you only hear in the anthology. However, the lore blurb describes the gnocchi as dressed with leeks and cheese sauce but then the working recipe... distinctly lacks any leeks and instead goes for a rather basic pine nut pesto sauce. Which puzzles me why they didn't just simply describe that rather than what is in the lore blurb.

Eggs à la Val Foret Originally mentioned in a note in Trespasser. It is described in the cookbook to have tons of cream and in the original note to have a cream sauce. However, the working recipe does not follow that criteria, using hollandaise sauce and giving this recipe a form of eggs Benedict, leaving the first case for why the recipes in the cookbook are likely not adhering to canon.

Black Lichen Bread This one I almost didn't include as the specification of black lichen has never been mentioned before in canon. However, we do know that in Origins we have mentions in Orzammar of lichen bread and in the lore blurb it specifies "this is lichen bread not bark bread" so I'm running with that. My thoughts on this particular recipe is the fact that instead of using a grain that would give a brown colour and mixing something like black seasame of gel food colouring to achieve the dark colour and instead used activated charcoal. Which shouldn't be anyone's first choice due to the known risks of consuming activated charcoal. Which is a whole post in and of itself that I went into here.

Dwarven Plum Jam The plum jam was first mentioned in Origins and has been remarked on multiple times since. There isn't really anything to contradict here in terms of the lore blurb, the working recipe throws me, because this recipe is not meant for long term storage outside of the refrigerator. Which is arguably not made clear enough as the final step says "The plum jam will keep for up to 6 months sealed in a cool place. Refrigerate after opening." Which contradicts the last line of the previous step "Store the jars in the refrigerator." As minor as they seem, these are pretty big distinctions. A cool place does not necessarily mean you keep it in the fridge, and this has to be kept in the fridge. The recipe doesn't call for any sugar so there is nothing actually preserving this for long term storage outside of it. So, it really isn't stressed at all and the wordage is conflicting. I would have adapted this for a smaller batch because 4-5 - 14oz jars in your fridge of the same thing take up a lot of space if you aren't giving them away. Additionally, I'd use allspice instead of cinnamon and vanilla extract. If you bloom the allspice before putting it in the plum reduction you get a much larger depth of flavor and you get the notes of vanilla and other things with it.

Fish Chowder First mentioned by Zevran in Origins while speaking of Antiva, the lore blurb carries the same theme. Speaking of how it is a dish that will bring you to Antiva city. There isn't much to speak of in terms of pre-established ingredients, however I find that the working recipe is a bit rich for a dish to be served to folks between a tannery and the coast. Which is a theme I have noticed in general with recipes of the poor or lower class. Instead of using them as simple, low-effort, and sort of beginner recipes they seem to evolve into one of the more complex. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I would have preferred they took advantage of more humble recipes from lore as such things and add additional notes of possible things they could include to "elevate" the recipe as it is called.

Fish in Salt Crust This is Avvar in origin and first mentioned in the DLC Jaws of Hakkon. The lore blurb and in-game description say that this is made by wrapping the fish in pungent leaves and cooked on banked coals. However where the in-game description specifies that the fish and leaves are wrapped in clay, the cookbook's lore blurb replaces that with salt. To be honest when I heard it was wrapped in pungent leaves and clay/salt, I was thinking something akin to banana leaves or something of the sort. The working recipe however uses thyme and rosemary, herbs. Which is an understandable and accessible swap, however the conversion of clay to a salt crust confuses me as there are casserole dishes, terracotta dishes, and other cookware means to replicate the "clay" wrapping while cooking in an oven. Especially considering the recipe calls for 4.5-6.5 lbs (2.04-2.95 kg) of salt I think a cookware swap would have been more economical. That said I do love a good salt crusted fish.

Fish Pocket Though referred to as fish wraps by The Iron Bull in DAI, these are the same dish. The lore blurb says that they learned this recipe from the Bull's Chargers. Which would imply the working recipe is roughly the same. However in the game Bull describes it as fish wrapped in thin bread. The working recipe has these more akin to a hand pie or pasty, wrapping the store-bought salmon filet in pizza dough with minimal seasoning of salt, parsley, pepper, shallot, and egg.

Fluffy Mackerel Pudding This recipe first debuted in Origins thanks to Mary Kirby and Sheryl Chee. It is in reference to the original weight watcher recipe and also the secondary example as to why the recipes likely aren't canon outside of the lore blurbs. The recipe in-game and the cookbook lore blurb calls for celery, eggs, mackerel and onion. The in game recipe also calls for Antivan pepper (Thedas replacement for cayenne), green pepper, mustard, salt, mace, cardamom seed and specifies the mackerel is to be poached. The working recipe calls for potatoes, smoked mackerel, butter, eggs, black pepper, and ground nutmeg. An entirely different dish for obvious reasons, as this dish was a play on a weight watchers recipe.

Found Cake First introduced in Origins and described very little aside from how it had likely seen better days as well as having mabari spittle on it. Something the lore blurb of the cookbook references. A new aspect of this cake coming from the cookbook is that it is a chocolate cream variety topped with white frosting and strawberries. Much like the item icon in Origins, though it should be noted the item icon is also shared with the sugar cake. As far as the working recipe, it's simple and sounds delicious.

Goat Custard This one is technically introduced in Inquisition, however it is not a desert custard but a savory one. It's actually not a custard at all but a broiled goat head. So, a very big switch up! I do enjoy this recipe as a whole though, from the wonderful short lore blurb to the rather simple recipe.

The Hanged Man's Mystery Meat Stew Previously only mentioned on a loading screen of DA2, this stew in the lore blurb is kept the same. A mysterious meat stew made every day, but not knowing what exact type of meat you might be eating. Personally, I find the working recipe in the cookbook too elaborate for a tavern that is known for its ill-reputable clientele and is described as smelling of sour ale, vomit, and desperation. The working recipe calls for olive oil, onion, garlic, pancetta, ground pork, tomato paste, dry red wine, kidney beans, diced tomatoes, canned corn, red bell pepper, chili pepper, bay leaves, allspice berries, clove, salt, pepper, paprika, caraway, oregano, sugar, lemon, and parsley for garnish.

Heath Cakes Another recipe that debuted in the World of Thedas Volume 2 under 'The Whole Nug' section on page 295. It also notes that it is traditionally made with halla butter but can be substituted with goat or cow butter, same as in World of Thedas. Hearth cakes are noted to be "common Dalish fare".

Lamb and Pea Stew This was a stew first mentioned in Origins and has been jokingly referred to since, even in the cookbook. Alistair's version of this dish is a uniform grey colour that leaves Leliana unable to discern that there was even lamb in the stew. Though the cookbook calls this King Alistair's Lamb and Pea Stew, it is clear in the lore blurb that Alistair's opinions on Fereldan cooking is incorrect save for throwing it in a large pot. Overall the working recipe is fairly basic; potatoes, oil, onions, ground lamb, tomato paste, beef stock, canned peas and carrots, pepper, paprika, butter, cream, nutmeg, cheese, and thyme. However instead of a stew, this working recipe instructs you in what would better be described as a casserole. Which isn't the first time that the cookbook deviates so strongly from the dish name or even lore description.

Llomerryn red Mentioned in the recipe for Merrill's Blood Soup and is another recipe that debuted in the World of Thedas Volume 2 under 'The Whole Nug' section on page 286.

Nug Pancakes A dish first mentioned in Origins along with the famed nug-gets. A recipe, unfortunately only referenced in the cookbook. Over all the gist of these is the same and the working recipe itself takes on a more developed and savory path than one would expect for something deemed to be a child's favorite. And by that I simply mean it is a high effort meal that I couldn't really see being served regularly outside of Orzammar's upper castes of nobles, royals, and warriors. As in Orzammar such spices as sugar, coriander, cumin, spicy hungarian paprika, chili powder, and the like would all be expensive surface imports.

Peasant Bread Originally shown in the novel Masked Empire as Michel de Chalon watches the Dalish make it for their midday meal and reminds him of his mother making it. Like the novel, the lore in the cookbook keeps the basic ingredients the same, a simple recipe of wheat, salt, and grease. The difference between the novel and cookbook lore is their chosen topping, Michel's mother would top his slice with sugar and the cookbook suggests butter and jam. The working recipe however, calls for an alternative of active dry yeast, flour, sugar, milk, egg yolks, and butter.

Pickled Eggs Another recipe that debuted in the World of Thedas Volume 2 under 'The Whole Nug' section on page 285. It is also noted to be a popular Fereldan tavern food and cure all. The difference in tone between the two recipes is 'The Whole Nug' is written by an Orlesian and views the recipe with distaste, and the cookbook's narrator is Fereldan and speaks with a fondness. The recipe itself differs in that the World of Thedas calls for sugar, salt, vinegar, water, and boiled and peeled eggs while the cookbook - which notes it is providing a base recipe that you can customize - lists onion, bay leaf, allspice berries, cloves, mustard seed, peppercorns, dried chili pepper, caraway, water, sugar, salt, white wine vinegar, and eggs. It also suggest alternative herbs and spices such as rosemary, tarragon, dill, thyme, and curry or to include aromatics like beets, bell peppers, squash, and garlic. Overall, this is one of my favorite working recipes for how its formatted and how it encourages more openly with trying different seasonings. Though, I think the World of Thedas recipe is better as a "base" to build from. So if you do want to experiment, I think reducing to those basic 5 ingredients and building from there is the best way to go about it.

Roasted Cave Beetles Previously mentioned in the Dragon Age Tabletop RPG (TTRPG) in the Buried Pasts adventure, the dwarves eat the beetles in the shell after roasting them.

Roasted Wyvern This is an Orlesian and Avvar favored meal item, mentioned in Da2 and in World of Thedas Vol. 2. There really wasn't much description on the method of roasting, seasoning or anything. So there really was a lot of room to play with this. One thing I found curious was that they use turkey legs in the working recipe for wyvern meat. It is an interesting choice and one likely made due to the size of a turkey leg, as you can't necessarily make turkey steaks like the wyvern steak mentioned in the Rusted Horn.

Sera's Yummy Corn Another recipe that debuted in the World of Thedas Volume 2 under 'The Whole Nug' section on page 295. It was written in her hand and displayed as if it was slipped in. Like in the lore burb of the cookbook, it is specified that the corn used has to be yellow and "not that weirdly checkered stuff". That it needed to be "cake-hot, not forge-hot" and it required no pot or wrap, simply "steal-heat-peel". However, in contrast to both of those, the working recipe of the cookbook makes what would be a humble and delicious snack a little more. Introducing herb butter composed of parsley, chives, clove, red onion, butter, ground mustard, and has you boil the corn (it suggests pre-cooked?) in milk and sugar, before you grill or broil it and top it with chili pepper rings.

Smoked Ham from the Anderfels There really isn't much to say about this famous gag in Dragon Age. First mentioned in the dlc Mark of the Assassin, we get the first idea of what exactly is on this ham in the cookbook lore book. It comes with different glazes, Devon's favorite being a glaze composed of apples and apricots.

Starkhaven Fish and Egg Pie Originally mentioned in Dragon Age 2 and later in Dragon Age Inquisition, this dish is spoken to be both Sebastain Vael and Samson's favorite dish. It is a recipe that appeared in the World of Thedas Volume 2 under 'The Whole Nug' section on page 283. The working recipe in the cookbook vs The Whole Nug differs a fair bit. To start, the amount of ingredients between the two, the cookbook having 23 and The Whole Nug having 15. I couldn't really compare the two in which I would prefer, but I do have a leaning towards The Whole Nug due to it being more adaptable as well as being intentionally anchored in-world.

Stuffed Vine Leaves These were first depicted in the comic Deception, where they are in a tavern in Tevinter and in the background you see someone eating what looks like dolmas or stuffed grape leaves.

Sugar Cake Another Origins item, this cake is described as being a simple pound cake dressed in strawberries and sugar-cream icing. However, the lore blurb and the working recipe directly contradict this. The lore blurb describes it as a humble mixture of butter, sugar, and almonds. Then, directly references a line from the origins item description about how it is "the perfect pick-me-up after a long day of travel." They seemed to have given the cream icing and the strawberries to the aforementioned found cake and turned this into a simple pound cake with almond topping. Which works well enough, however I think if they swapped the names on the two recipes they would make more sense. The working recipe calls for such little sugar, I didn't quite get as much sweetness as one would expect from such a cake.

Turnip and Mutton Pie Previously mentioned in Inquisition on the Rusted Horn's menu in Crestwood, this is another recipe with more play for the cookbook as the game only offers the detail that such a dish is worth 3 coppers. The lore blurb in the cookbook makes it sound like a humble and filling dish as well as describing it as a double crusted pot pie versus just a top crust. Which is what the working recipe gives you. Which isn't surprising and is of little consequence one way or the other, especially considering that the working recipe is for an 11-inch (27.94cm) pie.

Drink Recipes

All of my opinions on the alcoholic drinks is that they should have had a mocktail version, and if not all a good chunk of them would have worked well as mocktails.

Another opinion of mine that you will see pretty regularly is that most of these drinks have listed ingredients in lore and are usually remarked on in the lore blurbs. But the working recipes are so far removed it is rather jarring. Which circles back to my previous opinion of the fact they could have made these mocktails.

Antivan Sip-Sip Introduced in Inquisition, there is no official ingredient list for this one. Simply this description: "Careful, this one's mean. Attic-raised mean. Popular among highborn who wish to seem dangerous, but more at home grasped by the neck by those who actually are." A description that is vaguely referenced in the lore blurb. As far as the working recipe goes, it's simple coconut rum, Jägermeister, and pineapple juice. Honestly, it could be a mocktail but I don't think it's really a missed opportunity here that it wasn't unlike some of the others.

Chasind Sack Mead Described in Origins as "A brutishly strong honey liquor, reminiscent of warm summer days, apple blossoms on the wind with an unexpected aftertaste of father going off to war, never to return. Bitter, to say the least." The lore blurb makes another poetic description in the same vein where it is more akin to the changing of the seasons; "First, there's a near-overwhelming rush of honey, tinged with the sour-sweetness of apple blossoms, that fills the mouth with all the bright warmth of a summer's day. But as the initial sweetness fades, there comes an unexpected bitterness, reminiscent of the slow decay into fall, then winter." They're both distinct and evoke a certain flavour profile to the mind. Now I likely won't be making this at any time, so I cannot speak to how well the working recipe captures that flavour. But the ingredients it lists vaguely evoke the potential of it in theory of what I know for these ingredients. It calls for apple juice (unfiltered), pure culture brewer's yeast, water, honey, St. John's wort, meadowsweet, verbena, and kieselsol.

Dragon Piss This one is interesting because while it has this description in Origins: "The name is probably figurative, but no one knows for sure." It actually has its first draft of a recipe from a twitch stream where the recipe is "1oz light rum, 1 oz dark rum, fill with iced tea". The cookbook recipe is a far departure from that, as it calls for raspberry brandy, sparkling wine, and blue curaçao liqueur; as well as lighting it on fire. The main spectacle of this drink is that it is lit on fire. I think the twitch recipe is a good foundation of a mocktail as well as sticks more visually to the name. Could have been a mocktail.

The Emerald Valley This cocktail from Inquisition is a recipe from The Gilded Horn like many on this list. But for this drink, it calls for: a spirit distilled by Chantery sisters in Lydes from over seventy herbs and flowers, topped with egg-white foam and dusted with nutmeg. A rather specific spirit to say the least. So much so the lore blurb for this drink is only two sentences long and focuses on that. Meanwhile the working recipe calls for ice cubes, bourbon, herb liqueur, simple syrup, heavy whipping cream, egg yolk, and freshly grated nutmeg. The only overlap between the two is the nutmeg dusting. I do wonder why they went with bourbon and made what is in essence eggnog with less spices. The shift from egg-white foam topper to what seems like would have been a good herb infused liqueur or an herbal simple syrup and making it akin to a mule or mojito. If they really wanted to keep with the strong herbal taste a St. Germain would have been a good base to build off of. Could have been a mocktail.

The Golden Nug From Inquisition, this recipe from The Gilded Horn calls for effervescent (fizzy) white Seleney wine, dash of West Hill Brandy, and a splash of pomegranate juice, muddled with raspberries and a sprig of royal elfroot. The lore blurb also specifies all this but the royal elfroot and describes the drink of having a pinkish hue. The working recipe however calls for ice cubes, grapefruit juice, gin, tonic water, and rosemary for garnish. A departure from the fizzy white wine and brandy combo with pomegranate and raspberries. If they were going to keep it alcoholic, I think a better swap would have to keep everything but swap the white wine for tonic water and making this a brandy and tonic based cocktail with pomegranate and raspberries vs a grapefruit gin and tonic and still achieve a soft pink look. Could have been a mocktail.

The Hissing Drake In-game recipe from The Gilded Horn which includes: cinnamon-infused whiskey, dark Llomerryn rum, Hirol's Lava Burst. Two of those three recipes are pretty easy to find here, and the Hirol's Lava Burst which "tastes of burning" would have been replaced with a high-proof alcohol and/or mixing in hot sauce or garnishes with spice - as it does in the working recipe. However the working recipe amounts to a bloody mary, having: Lemon juice, salt, vodka, tomato juice, tabasco, worcestershire sauce, pepper, sea salt, celery rib, pickle, spiced jerky. Coupling the working recipe with the lore blurb, it feels a little weird to have a drinking contest with bloody marys. But, people can and do have weird choices for drinking contests. Could have been a mocktail.

Hot Chocolate Bull's personal mission in Inquisition, making cocoa with Orlesian guimauves. Overall the working recipe is fine, it is a simple cup of cocoa and they even direct you on how to whip your own whipped cream.

Lichen Ale First mentioned in Origins, this ale is known to be toxic to everyone who drinks it but non-dwarves especially. Something the lore blurb stresses heavily while noting that they made changes to remove the risk and fear of poisoning. Overall, a pretty straight-forward and fun piece. Just looking at the recipe and the things with substitutes I deem it: Could have been a mocktail. Especially because it could have been fun to have recipes for making your own Kahlùa.

Rivaini Tea Blend First introduced in The Masked Empire novel as a favored tea of Empress Celene, its listed ingredients were cinnamon, ginger, and clove. However the lore blurb for this recipe creates a whole new mixture of peppermint, lemon verbena, oregano, and licorice root, then cites the blend as the one that Celene drinks to alleviate her headaches. I'm not too sure why the change in that, but it is noteworthy. The working recipe itself calls for: peppermint, lemon verbena, oregano (flowers and leaves), mixed edible flowers (elderflower, mallow, and marigold), licorice root, vanilla bean, black tea, and honey. Overall it is a good and tasty mix, but one I would not be taking for headaches. If we followed Celene's reasoning for it - an aid for headaches, a better bet would actually be the original recipe as ginger and clove can help with headaches and migraines. Peppermint can as well, but the addition of the various floral notes as well as black tea and vanilla bean wouldn't. Not that the cookbook is necessarily providing the recipe for that purpose.

Lore and General Notes

In the recipe for nug pancakes, it notes that the taste of nug meat is akin to that of pork and rabbit, which is different from the pork and hare approximation from Origins.

The Jade Ham we see as a weapon in Inquisition is a smoked ham from the Anderfels with a specific glaze.

We've heard very little of Anderfels agriculture and animal husbandry prior to the cookbook. Save that they have apples that are small and bitter and largely import dried fruits. The cookbook introduces the fact that pig farming does profoundly well in the Anderfels, resulting in bigger pigs and by extension hams.

The cookbook introduces for the first time the existence of international connoisseurs as well as sharing just how widespread the use of goat milk is, seemingly more prevalent than cattle.

Chasind Sack Mead recipe mentions Chasind Wildwine, an ale that was originally only mentioned in the TTRPG and is made from a specific type of grain native to Ferelden called ryott.

Short Summary of Opinion

Overall my general opinion on the cookbook is that the lore elements are fun and I enjoy the references and nods to the series. The photos are very campy and fun, and doesn't take itself too seriously and also builds on nods towards the series through merch references. I feel like the cookbook is a solid 5/10 and I'm not really disappointed in it. It was more than what I expected and had the thing I was most excited and hopeful for: food and culture lore.

But I'm sure if you've read this far, my main issue with this cookbook, and something that is wholly a personal preference from my own work in this area as well as an opinion built from my other game/franchise cookbooks like World of Warcraft, Dnd, Critical Role, and Elder Scrolls being some of my favorites.

But I find the disconnect in the recipe description, recipe name, and lore blurbs from the actual working recipes a sizable detractor. I personally am not a fan of it simply telling you to get store bought ingredients - like the hollandaise sauce which is a simple recipe - instead of providing that recipe and suggesting the store bought as an alternative. A preference that comes from my own dietary restrictions meaning half of the "just buy store bought" requires me to look up a separate recipe elsewhere. Leading the book to feel a touch incomplete.

I also stated before in the drink section just how much it doesn't sit well that there aren't any mocktails and your only non-alcoholic options are tea and hot cocoa. I think they could have really explored that more and developed some really fun and inclusive drinks for those who don't/can't drink alcohol.

I also noticed, that this publisher who does a majority of game franchises or just media franchise cookbooks, is that they didn't have one of my favorite things about the Elder Scrolls cookbook, which was the Dietary Considerations chart. It was in the back of the cookbook and the chart had every recipe that fell in one or multiples of the following categories:

Vegetarian

Vegan

Gluten-free

Easily made vegetarian, vegan, or gluten-free with simple alterations

The fact that the Dragon Age cookbook didn't have this was disappointing to say the least and makes this rather inaccessible for people with such needs. I also have just a general distaste for the fact that all but 2 of the 9 drink recipes were alcoholic. That there was no attempt to offer mocktails, which not only feels like a missed opportunity but also just a limiting one on accessibility when it's pretty clear that working recipes are not mirrors to their in universe counterparts.

A big thing for me in modern cookbooks is accessibility, from difficulty, to ability to add alterations, and actually putting efforts into non-alcoholic drinks that aren't just hot chocolate or a tea blend (though I do like that they did a tea blend.)

This book is definitely more for a fan who wants to look into a fun recipe every now and then but mostly was there for the lore blurbs and just the sort of fan service of it.

[dootznbootz]

...It's kind of wild when the terf that you got into a fight with and had to write an essay on "Why violence is wrong" back in high school now works at the pharmacy where you get your medication from...

[tvrningout-a]

after sending a few more asks, i'm doing a lil reading, and i'm gonna check his comic background, but according to his movie fandom page!! miguel speaks japanese on top of english and spanish and i know the dude's busy as it is, but i just like the idea of him being able to speak to chiyo and yuzu in their language and maybe helping them with english a bit. chiyo's good at it, but she's learned from school and tv, so practice would be nice, and yuzu probably doesn't know much english other than the bits she retained from high school and college. i imagine there would be tech to help get around language barriers, but i know both of them would rather be able to communicate on their own.

i don't usually focus on lil details like that for the sake of not complicating threads, but!! that won't stop me from thinking about it and rambling a lil bit :' )

[toomuchdickfort]

I am going to lose my shit.

[hauntedfutures]

Appreciation afro-duck-teacup for @teaspirationss ( aka the best senpai in every multiverse in the history of multiverses :D )

[trainsinanime]

I wonder: Do Americans know about american school buses? Not their existence in general, but how they're seen overseas.

Over here, they're one of the symbols of America, on par with the Statue of Liberty, the flag, the Eagle, and well ahead of any chain restaurant you can name. People won't know any US states, but they will know these vehicles.

The thing is, here in Germany, we don't have dedicated school buses. The general idea is that kids go to school on their own. When that's not practical, they're expected to use (and given free tickets for) public transit. Public transit is designed around this requirement; there are many places where there is a bus, and anyone can get on it, but the route and timetable really only makes sense for school children. In case a dedicated school bus is really needed, that's generally subcontracted out, and the lines either use something like a Sprinter Van for smaller routes, or a normal city or interurban bus (often a used one that's a bit older). School trips are normal public transit, or a rented bus, typically a coach or regional bus.

It's not a perfect system, in the past couple of years there's been an epidemic of people bringing their kids to school in their cars instead of letting them walk, which is less than ideal. It is what it is. But building a dedicated network of public transit lines only for students, and building dedicated vehicles only for that, has never occurred to anyone here.

Of course we know about these buses, from movies and such, but they're as foreign here as cacti or pick-up trucks (actually we're seeing more and more of these here) or yellow cabs (all europeans will assume all cabs in the US are yellow until they actually visit).

You do see these buses here at times, because people still generally like the idea of the US, even if they have a lot of issues with a lot of details, and so folks bring them over, along with stretch limos and stuff (also not really a thing here). And of course, if someone goes to all that trouble, they don't do it to haul school kids, they rent it out for city tours or as a party bus or whatever.

So you see these yellow things as a symbol of faraway places, scenic vistas, some vague undefined idea of freedom that doesn't necessarily hold up to any contact with reality, and it's just a huge part of the whole US aesthetic.

And then you go to a student exchange with the US, and you finally get the chance: You yourself get to ride in one of these iconic chrome yellow buses! It looks just like in the movies! You get in, you drive in them a little…

…and you realise they're shit. Just the worst buses in the western world. Terrible suspension. Uncomfortable seats with weirdly high backs (so they don't have to put seatbelts in, they just restrict how far kids can fly in an accident). Everything made out of the cheapest materials. Turns out the reason why the US uses school buses like that instead of normal modern city buses, which the US has, is to save money and because they just hate kids.

And then it hits you why US Americans say "as American as apple pie", a dish that is made and enjoyed literally anywhere in the world, instead of "as American as yellow school buses". Of course the Americans already knew all this. They got tortured by these things forever. It would never occur to them to see this as a symbol of America, it's just a normal part of life for them. It's a symbol of school and school life and sometimes normalcy, and tells us that these actors getting out of it are supposed to be teenagers, nothing more.

But most people in Europe have, of course, never ridden on these buses. So when they see them in movies and TV, that's a giant big yellow signifier that we're not in Hessen or Wallonia or wherever anymore. A symbol of a different world, one that may be at most a once-in-a-lifetime-experience for most people, just like a picture of a tropical beach, Mayan Pyramids, the Great Wall of China, or Hildesheim (there's no reason to go there twice). And I think Americans don't know that, and that's fascinating.

[ceilingcow]

Hey, folks! Pride month is here, so I thought I'd take this opportunity to promote the custom name and pronoun buttons I make. =]

I opened my little shop in late 2015 because I was having trouble getting misgendered myself, so I started making these buttons and I've made thousands of name and pronoun buttons for folks since. It's so cool to have been even just a tiny part of so many people's journeys like that. I've even got over 100(!) different pride flags made in the Painted style, too, so whatever your flag I've got you covered.

Consider supporting a small queer and trans owned shop this Pride! I've got many pronoun and pride flag styles as well. Check them all out: tigerseyeadventureco.etsy.com

[ohproserpine]

iv. dolly

see all chapters here tags: fem! reader, reader is a performer in a speakeasy, jealousy, possessiveness, alastor does not know how to interpret love, or maybe he does, in his own twisted way, roadkill used as a symbolism, gorey descriptions of love, murder the song she sings is 'roxie' from chicago

˚୨୧₊♱

"Hey!" Charlie's voice rang out as she spotted Mimzy making her way towards the hotel entrance. The blonde froze, casting a nervous glance behind her to see the demon princess rapidly approaching with a worried look that she mistook for anger.

With practiced ease, the blonde put on a fake frown, pressing her hand over her chest. "Oh, Charlie! I'm so sorry for the trouble last night, sugar! I'll pay—"

"No, no! I'm not here for that," Charlie waved her hands with a smile, seemingly oblivious to the slump of relief on Mimzy's shoulders. "Are you leaving so soon? The hotel wouldn't mind taking you in!"

Caught off guard by Charlie's unexpected offer, Mimzy grimaced. She hesitated, opening her mouth before shutting it as she struggled to find the right words. "Oh! Well…you see…"

A laughing track, sounding like it was filtered through a radio, echoed through the air, and Mimzy turned to the source to find Alastor towering over her with his signature grin.

"I don't think redemption is quite her style," Alastor's chipper voice rang out. His clawed hand reached for Mimzy’s hair, plucking a feather from her headpiece. In his hands, the pink ornament erupted into flames. "Frankly, I have my doubts she could even be redeemed at all!"

Horrified, Mimzy watched as her feather fell to the floor in ashes, her hand instinctively reaching for the charred remnants.

"Alastor," Charlie glared at him before turning her attention back to Mimzy. "We believe in redemption for everyone. It's not about what you were; it's about what you choose to be now. We'll be here to support you every step of the way."

"Thanks, sugar," Mimzy forced a smile, waving her hand around daintily. She glanced at the entrance with a subtle wish for escape, playing up the nice act while Alastor continued to watch the scene unfold with a cryptic smile. "But radio here is right. I don't really think it's my style. Different strokes for different folks. Plus, I've got a business to run!"

Alastor hummed, twirling his microphone cane around in his hand. The crimson glow of his eyes narrowed at her as he chuckled. "You couldn't possibly mean that wooden box of debauchery you call a club, right?"

"My 'wooden box of debauchery' has more character than any joint in that city," Mimzy grit her teeth together in a smile, barely concealing her frustration.

As another argument began to form, a throat clearing interrupted the flow, capturing Mimzy's attention. A pink glove slowly rose from the couch and Angel Dust pushed himself off the furniture, sitting up with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"If I may~" Angel Dust chimed in. "You saying you, ah, got a bar? I'm always up for checking out new places. Mind if I swing by sometime, tits?"

Mimzy beamed and sent Alastor a smug look, making her way toward Angel Dust. She reached into her chest, pulling out a card with a flourish. "Of course, kitten! Here's all our information. You'll find us in the Vee district. Feel free to swing by anytime. And don't forget to bring a friend!"

Angel Dust took the offered card, a grin forming on his face. "Bring a friend, huh? You got it, toots."

˚୨୧₊♱

The Vee district, designated as the entertainment hub of Pride, was dazzled with bright neon lights and tall towering buildings adorned with blazing billboards. The streets pulsed with life, where every ten steps brought you face-to-face with street performers desperately vying for attention, hoping to catch the eyes of industry scouts. The message was clear – fame was the ticket to success. Performers were everywhere, found in rundown bars, neon nightclubs, and costly theaters catering to the insatiable appetites of the elite.

Mimzy's Lounge, nestled down east on one of the city's worse-off streets was no fancy stage. The building, weathered and worn, seemed to barely hold itself together. The exterior bore the scars of years gone by, with cracked windows, peeling paint, and near-rotting wooden walls. While it may not have been on the standards of the elite, to the poor and downtrodden, it was the best piece of entertainment they could afford.

Inside, the dim lighting of the bar did little to conceal the stains and cracks that adorned the floor and ceiling. Tables and chairs, mismatched, were arranged haphazardly. The air hung heavy with the smell of cheap perfume, wrapping around the audience—a motley crew of lost souls. On the stage, a couple of scantily clad showgirls were performing a dance routine, or at least their movements vaguely resembled one. The quality of the performance didn't seem to matter to the audience, who, hungry for any form of entertainment, welcomed the spectacle with open arms.

Seated discreetly in the back booths, Angel and Cherri had drawn their curtains tight, creating a cocoon of privacy amid the bustling buzz and thumping music in the club.

"…And check this out – Alastor is hitched," Angel Dust spat out the last word as if it were poison. His face caught the warm, bright lights spilling into their booth, slipping through the small gap in the middle of the curtains. He sipped from his drink, a glint in his eyes. "And the owner here's got some serious dirt on his missus or somethin' like that."

"That why you dragged me to this hellhole? Knew it," Cherri snorted, taking a sip of her cocktail, the sweet and tangy flavors doing little to mask the less-than-pleasant ambiance. "Couldn't believe you'd even want to step into a place like this."

"You know I can't resist a bit of gossip, and where else can you find more gossip than in a joint run by a gal who's got the goods on Alastor himself?" Angel grinned, his golden tooth flashing as he reclined in his torn red chair. "Hell. I bet anyone else would do what I'm doin'. I mean, who wouldn't be tearin' these walls down just to catch a glimpse of the Radio Demon's wife?"

Cherri Bomb let out a throaty chuckle. "Well, you're bloody right there."

A sudden blast of music echoed through the air, prompting Angel Dust to scramble out of his seat and poke his head out from behind the curtain. The previous performers stepped off the stage, making way for the upcoming act. He caught sight of a familiar pudgy figure sauntering onto the stage and hastily turned his head back to the booth, meeting Cherri's amused face. "It's startin'!"

“Welcome, all you devils and darlings, to the Dollhouse Lounge!” Mimzy's voice boomed, and the lights gracefully dimmed to focus on her. The hum of conversation dwindled, the audience's attention now on the stage. “It's the moment you've all been waiting for! The last act of the night… Dolly, the living doll!"

With Mimzy's spirited introduction, the claps and cheers crackled in the air. In an instant, the lights plunged into darkness, leaving Angel to flit his gaze across the smoke-hazed stage, hungry for a glimpse of what was to come. Suddenly, a surge of stage lights sliced through the lingering smoke, akin to a celestial burst, revealing your silhouette with a large signage that spelled out your name in bold, red letters.

Wearing a lovely smile, you spread your arms wide, catching everyone's attention as you sang the first note, voice sultry and dripping sweet like honey. "The name on everybody's lips is gonna be Dolly."

"That's his wife?" Cherri gawked behind Angel, her jaw dropping in disbelief. "Are you sure we got the right girl?"

"Hell, I'm just as surprised as you are," Angel shot back, an equally dumfounded look on his face.

"The lady raking in the chips Is gonna be Dolly," your voice echoed, the melody carrying through the lounge as you strolled towards the stage's platform. The rhythmic beat of the music vibrated against the soles of your heels while the spotlight dutifully trailed after you, its gentle glow caressing the curves of your glittery dress, casting glimmers of silver and gold that danced across the dimly lit bar.

"I'm gonna be a celebrity. That means somebody everyone knows," you continued, sauntering around the stage. As you swirled and twirled, your silhouette became a blur of sequins and shimmer. The spotlight then intensified its focus on you, highlighting the glint in your eyes. "They're gonna recognize my eyes. My hair, my teeth, my boobs, my nose."

"Fuck," Angel muttered under his breath. As you moved closer to the end of the platform, he could finally get a good look at you.

Shimmery blue eyeshadow graced your lids, while a dark blush adorned the apples of your cheeks, complementing the red lipstick you had on. Your dress, a dazzling ensemble of sequins, was not only radiant but also provocatively low-cut, teasingly revealing a glimpse of your chest before gracefully dropping to your knees. Dark silk stockings, sensually tracing the contours of your legs, were held by garters. At your feet, bedazzled red Mary Janes sparkled like jewels, catching the light with every step you took.

As Angel thought back to his conversation with Mimzy, he found himself agreeing with her earlier comments. You really were a living, breathing doll.

"From just some dumb canni-bal’s wife. I'm gonna be Dolly," you continued, seamlessly weaving your magic, each lyric a spell that bound the audience. "Who says that murder's not an art?"

With a spin, you twirled around the stage, a ditzy grin on your face, the sequins on your gown catching the light like stars. "And who, in case she doesn't hang, can say she started with a bang! Dolly Heart!"

As the final notes of the song echoed through the venue, the room erupted in applause and cheers. But, the curtain wasn't falling yet. Standing backstage, Mimzy let the moment linger, reveling in the prolonged applause. After all, happy customers always tipped generously.

On cue, bills and coins descended like a storm, hitting the floor with a crisp sound that mixed beautifully with the cheers of the delighted audience. There was so much that the shower of currency formed a makeshift carpet beneath your feet.

Angel Dust, still peeking from behind the curtain, wore a smirk of approval. "Not bad, not bad at all," he whispered to Cherri, who nodded in agreement.

Standing on the stage, bathed in the lingering glow of the spotlight, you held your pose, chest heaving up and down. A demure smile graced your lips as soft, appreciative nods and fluttering eyelashes accompanied each gaze you cast toward the audience. Tonight's turnout was impressive, though not unexpected given your agreement to perform one of your most famous songs after a prolonged hiatus.

"Dolly" was a beloved crowd-pleaser and the one song you hated with a passion.

The spotlight continued to shine relentlessly in your eyes, causing a painful burn in your irises. The deafening applause felt like a relentless assault on your senses as each clap echoed loudly in your ears. From the speakers, the music blasted in waves, the volume rattling your bones. Showbusiness, a constant companion in both your living and afterlife, had become an achingly familiar yet tormenting cycle.

In the corner of your eye, you saw Mimzy step up onto the stage to address the crowd. "Thank you, my lovely devils and darlings! Wasn't Dolly simply darling tonight?" she squealed through the mic.

The crowd erupted in cheers and applause once more, the energy in the room reaching a fever pitch. Mimzy basked in the adoration, her grin widening as she soaked in the success and the money. Oh, the money.

"I know you loved that!" she laughed. She leaned into the microphone, her voice turning into a whisper "Of course, you all do. I wrote it."

"Now, let's give our star her rest. Dolly, my dear, take a bow!" Mimzy's voice rang out, signaling the end of the performance. Relieved, you bowed before making your way towards the curtains as the heavy fabrics began to descend. After blowing a few more kisses to the audience, you slipped backstage, letting the smile fade from your face. As you vanished from view behind the curtain, Angel caught the look on your face.

It was a look he knew all too well.

"She looks perfectly happy without him," Cherri remarked with a casual shrug. "I mean, look at 'er. She's the star of the show. You think she left on purpose?"

Angel furrowed his brows, deep in thought. It didn't make no sense to him.

Why would you willingly perform under Mimzy's control when Alastor, with his power, could easily get you out of here? Contract or no contract, that radio freak could tear Mimzy apart like a hot knife through butter.

The spider's attention shifted towards the audience, and his gaze locked onto Mimzy, who was engrossed in conversation with some VIPs. The sight of her triggered a scowl to etch itself onto his features.

"I don't think so. There's more to it," Angel's eyes narrowed, the wheels in his head turning, "I've seen that look before."

"What look?" Cherri raised an eyebrow.

"That trapped look," Angel said, his gaze following Mimzy as she continued her animated conversation, oblivious to the scrutiny. "Before the curtains dropped, I saw it on her."

"Shit, Angie," Cherri's gaze followed Angel's, and she pursed her lips. "You think she's playing the part or really stuck?"

Angel Dust stood up straight, now opening the curtains wide as his eyes never left Mimzy. "I don't know, but I'm gonna find out."

Both of them took their time, patiently waiting until Mimzy stepped away. Once the blonde demon finally made her way backstage, they discreetly followed her lead, slipping behind the curtains with her.

The busy backstage corridor welcomed them with an assortment of items – costumes, props, and stage decor – scattered in chaotic disarray. Angel's eyes wandered around, and he spotted Mimzy in a far corner, sitting atop worn cardboard boxes. Nudging Cherri, he gestured for both of them to move closer.

"Hey~ How's it going, blondie?" Angel purred, leaning against a nearby prop, his tone dripping with a sickly sweet tone. Mimzy looked up, confused before she recognized him and flashed a wide grin.

"Hey, you! You're that spider fella from the hotel!" She tapped her chin in thought narrowing her eyes at him. "Uhm, Angle Dust was it?"

"It's Angel Dust," he corrected, a twitch of annoyance in his eye.

"Uh-hah, that's nice," Mimzy seemed unfazed, continuing to count her money, her legs swinging back and forth absentmindedly. "You like the show? Oh, who am I kidding, of course, you did!"

Angel Dust crossed his arms with a chuckle. "Yeah, about that. That girl, Dolly. She's quite a number, ain't she?"

"Oh, yeah. She's my little masterpiece," Mimzy smirked. "Met her before she had any of this."

"Let's cut the fuckin' crap," Cherri rolled her eyes, tired of dancing around the conversation. The cyclops leaned down to Mimzy's height, scowling into her face and driving her finger into the blonde's chest. "I'll say it straight. What's the deal with her? You got some strings attached?"

Mimzy paused and glanced up at Cherri with an arched eyebrow before turning to Angel and laughing tensely. "Your friend here sure is forward, Ankle! Oh, sweethearts, Dolly's here because she wants to be."

Angel Dust shot Cherri a glance, a silent conversation passing between them. "Yeah?"

"The girl signed a contract willingly," Mimzy explained with a casual shrug. "She gets what she wants, and I get what I want. It's a fair exchange."

Angel's eyes narrowed, his skepticism evident. "Contract? What's in it for her, then? Why willingly perform in this dump when she could easily be the star anywhere else?"

The blonde sent Angel a glare for his dig at her lounge but still answered him. "Dolly owes me something. A little debt she's paying off with her charming performances. A contract might sound sinister, but it's just showbusiness, furs." Mimzy leaned back, folding her arms, her expression daring the two of them challenge her further.

"Bull. She sold you her soul to dance and sing?" Cherri scoffed, taking the challenge.

"No, no, there was no soul exchange involved," Mimzy rolled her eyes. "Just a contract. But still binding, magical, and all of that stuff."

"Now, can you two get out of my hair?" Mimzy huffed, shooing them away with a dismissive wave. "I've got a lot of things to run here!" She returned to counting her money, clearly eager to be rid of the unwanted attention.

"Let's go, Cherri," Angel said with a look of defeat, pushing himself off the prop he had been leaning on.

Once the two of them finally stepped out of the establishment, the spider groaned to himself, now finding himself with more questions than answers.

˚୨୧₊♱

You strolled behind the weighty curtains, the backstage area buzzing with the rush of staff, the shouts of managers, and the lingering presence of performers idly awaiting their cues. Navigating through the organized chaos, you directed your steps towards your private dressing room—a sanctuary away from the glaring spotlight.

You threw the door open, entering quickly and slamming it shut behind you, the sudden silence a stark contrast to the clamor and racket outside. Flicking a light switch, the dim glow of a single, flickering bulb hanging from the ceiling revealed the room's worn-out glamour. A vanity cluttered with makeup, costumes haphazardly thrown on a worn-out sofa, and a cracked mirror that had seen better days—all were familiar sights.

"I would kill for a glass of whiskey," you murmured to yourself, the weariness of the performance settling in. Rolling your head and groaning as you heard a satisfying crack, you added, "or maybe a whole bottle of it."

Kicking off your heels, you let the cool floor cradle your skin, leaving the discarded shoes in a dusty corner to rest. Seated at the vanity, the chaotic world beyond the backstage curtains ceased to exist. The gentle glow of the vanity lights exposed the weariness in your eyes as you wiped away your mascara and dusted off the remnants of glitter from your skin. While removing your earrings, the shimmer of your wedding ring caught your eye.

A frown tugged at your lips, the subtle ache of longing surfacing.

You missed your husband.

With a sigh, you continued removing your earrings before tossing them onto your vanity. Seeking to ease the edge, you reached for a whiskey bottle on a nearby dresser, grabbing a glass and pouring yourself a drink. The golden liquid glimmered in the subdued light as you took a sip, the warmth of the alcohol coursing through you.

"C̵h̶e̸r̷?̷"̸

A static rumble of a radio, like thunder, jolted you mid-drink, causing the liquid to catch in your throat. Coughing and sputtering for a while, you scrambled to collect yourself before turning behind you. Your gaze landed on the desk table where your radio sat. The crackling static continued, accompanied by a familiar voice and distorted sounds.

Alastor.

Grabbing a cloth to wipe yourself, you rushed to the desk and grabbed the old radio in your hands. The radio was a faded, worn red with yellowed dials, and its antennas were visibly broken, held up together with scraps of tape. Your contract with Mimzy did not allow you to meet with Alastor or his shadows for as long as you were under her, but that didn't mean you couldn't communicate with Alastor in other ways.

With trembling hands, you carefully adjusted the dials, aligning them to the familiar frequency that bridged the gap between you two. Your heart thrummed in your chest, head almost dizzy from anticipation. The distorted voices began to clear, and Alastor's distinctive voice cut through the static, a lifeline in the abyss.

"Cher, my dear, are you there?" Back in his room at the hotel, Alastor spoke through his mic, awaiting your response. He was sitting by the large windows, bathed in the dim glow of the Ring of Pride's lights. The hues painted a lovely ambiance against his skin, highlighting the contours of his sharp features as he reclined against a plush couch.

Heavy silence lingered for a while as you felt your throat closing up. Without realizing it, you began crying, your sobs echoing through Alastor's microphone.

"Yes, Al," you choked out between sobs, your hands gripping the surface of the radio tightly, nails scratching against the peeling paint. "I'm here. I missed you."

Alastor listened to your tearful voice through the crackling static, his shoulders tense as his claws clenched against his microphone handle. Your vulnerable confession hung heavily in the air, and he felt a storm stirring within him. Unsure of what to do with these emotions, he could only sit there and listen to you weep.

From the busiest street in Pentagram City to the darkest alleyways, Alastor's reputation as a bloodthirsty killer was infamous, and he reveled in it. The idea that an overlord like him could entertain genuine care for someone sounded preposterous. Throughout his human days and beyond, Alastor never felt such sentiments.

Decades ago, he only needed himself. However, ever since you entered his life, he became a man possessed.

The moment he first laid eyes on you, you were a vision of beauty with bright eyes, flushed cheeks, and he couldn't deny that he felt an inkling of fondness for you right from the start. But that was all it ever was—nothing more, nothing less.

Then, seemingly out of nowhere, he couldn't help but notice that the glow in your smile was brighter, lovelier. And despite his usual tendency to dismiss such details, Alastor couldn't look away. Not anymore.

You held him captive, like a deer frozen in the blinding glare of oncoming headlights. He was aware the collision was imminent, yet it still caught him off guard; A torrent of emotions crashing into him like a speeding truck, leaving him with twisted limbs and cracking bones, antlers torn from his head, fur matted and bloodied, with his heart exposed, beating vulnerably before you.

In the months that followed, Alastor remembered how foreign the feeling to him was. He didn't want to understand it, refused to, but each attempt to rip those festering emotions out of his chest only left him bleeding.

Looking back, Alastor finds himself incapable of fathoming how life was bearable before you entered it. The mere thought of returning to a time when you weren't present is something he refuses to entertain. The person he used to be, before he stepped into that speakeasy, now feels like a distant stranger, a mere shadow of the man he has become with you in his life.

The static in his thoughts subsided, in tandem with your crying and sobbing dying down. A prolonged pause lingered before Alastor interrupted the silence. "Cher, you know I'd bring you out of that wretched place if you just said the word."

A bitter laugh escaped your lips as you wiped away tears with your trembling fingers. "You tell me that every time we have these calls. Do you not get tired of it?"

"Never," Alastor hummed. The sound of your laughter, even tinged with bitterness, momentarily lifted the heavy burden that his heart carried. "The offer will always be up, darling!"

"You know I can't, Al. Me and her have history together," your voice paused, cracking with emotion. "And I still feel guilty."

Alastor sighed heavily, frustration dancing in his eyes. He always struggled to understand why you felt indebted to Mimzy, why guilt still clung to your decisions like a persistent shadow.

To him, Mimzy deserved the consequences. Despite his constant offers to free you from her grasp, you remained steadfast in your decision to complete your contract

"Very well, dear," Alastor's smooth voice crackled through the radio, weaving a comforting presence into the air as you moved back toward your vanity, taking a seat. "Now, enough of these melancholic talks. Tell me, how was the show tonight?"

"Mimzy had me perform 'Dolly' again," you remarked, a crooked smile playing on your lips. "She's well aware that I despise that song. I mean, really? Have you ever taken a look at the lyrics? It's a bit on the nose, don't you think?"

As your frustrations spilled out, Alastor stood from his seat, staff in hand. Placing it beside his closet, he attentively listened to your words, occasionally responding with chuckles and interjections. He slipped off his monocle, unbuttoned his suit jacket, and then his vest, revealing a well-tailored red undershirt that clung to his lean frame.

"I find the cannibal's wife line rather charming," Alastor smirked, and though he couldn't see it, you rolled your eyes in response.

"Of course you'd enjoy that part," you scoffed, mirroring Alastor's movements on the other side. Shedding the bedazzled dress, you opted for more comfortable attire, draping yourself in a robe.

"What's not to like? It shows the audience that you're my darling wife," Alastor quipped with a smug tone.

"Bushwa. They don't even know it's you. And I don't think anyone thinks highly of some poor fool shackled to a gaudy singer," you snorted. With the radio in tow, you began to pack your belongings into your purse.

"Don't be ridiculous," Alastor's laugh rumbled against the speakers. "My dear, being 'shackled' to you is the most delightful form of imprisonment."

"Such a sap," you scoffed, unable to suppress the smile that spread across your face. Shouldering your purse, you made your way towards the door, ready to leave. However, a sudden memory of a conversation with Mimzy surfaced.

"By the way, did you know Mimzy was planning to have me perform on some talk show?" you shared with Alastor while locking the door to your dressing room. A furrow appeared on your brow as the backstage lights played with shadows, casting a pensive expression on your face. "What was it again… Oh! Yes! Box-2-Nite."

A sudden screech from the radio erupted, its harsh sound reverberating in the hallway. Luckily, no one was around at this hour, and you cringed at the unexpected disturbance. Glaring at the box, you raised your brow. "You scared the living daylights outta me."

Alastor stayed silent for a while, claws digging into the cloth of his coat, ripping the fabric. With a snap of his head to the side, he dropped it to the floor and moved toward his staff, his shadows playing on the intricate patterns of the carpet beneath his feet.

"Do you perhaps mean… Vox-2-Nite?" His voice, usually smooth, carried an edge.

"Is that the name? I thought you hated telev—Oh. Ohhh..." As you ascended to the higher floors of the building, a realization swept over you.

Alastor's relationship with Vox was complicated. It didn't take a genius to see that. If the ceaseless back-and-forths on broadcasts, the turf wars that had casualties matching mass-extinction events, and the hushed gossip circulating among the other performers were anything to go by.

“Small world,” you chuckled, strolling down the hallway that led to the performers' rooms, the echo of your footsteps blending with the distant murmur of conversation. “I’m guessing I shouldn't take her up on the offer?”

"Absolutely not," Alastor practically snarled out, venom dripping from his tongue. The radio in your hand crackled and buffered, a faint golden glow emanating from the dials. "That pompous piece of shit television is nothing but a clout-chasing, mediocre host flitting between this fad and another on his little picture show podcasts."

“I know, love.” With a swift turn of a doorknob, you opened the door to your flat. "I wasn’t… planning… to…”

Your words trailed off, lingering in the air, as you entered the room. Your eyes widened in awe, captivated by the sight of a bouquet of white roses gracefully adorning your bed.

"Alastor," you spoke into the radio, your voice filled with genuine warmth. "Did you send me roses?"

Back in the hotel, Alastor, settled back into his plush couch. The fiery embers of his anger melting away like a fleeting shadow, replaced by the realization that you had discovered his gift.

A soft chuckle came from the radio, "Guilty as charged, cher. "

Your heart fluttered, and you sank onto the bed, dropping the radio on your mattress and taking the bouquet into your hands. The delicate petals felt soft against your fingers as you admired their beauty. White roses, unlike red ones, were so scarce it was difficult to get a hold of.

"Alastor, this is… wonderful," you spoke into the radio, smile so wide your cheeks almost hurt. "Why—How did you even—How did you even manage to find these?"

"Oh, I pulled a few strings," your husband grinned before chuckling, "and a few limbs too."

Your laughter intertwined with his and Alastor listened fondly, finding solace in the melody of your delight.

The day you inked that deal with Mimzy marked the onset of an agonizing pain he had never experienced before. The thought of leaving your sorrowful self under the wretched contract of that avaricious woman had incited a frenzied rage within him, leading to weeks of unbridled slaughters on the streets of hell.

The blood he spilled onto the sidewalks left a stain on the concrete that lasted months.

Fortunately for you and him, the ordeal was nearing its end. Just one more year remained until Alastor could finally reunite with you. After enduring decades of this agony, an additional year seemed like mercy.

"You like it, cher?" Alastor's voice dropped an octave lower, the satisfaction evident in his tone, pleased to bring happiness to your moment.

"Yes," you laugh, cradling the bouquet in your hands. "I like it very much."

˚୨୧₊♱

[punkitt-is-here]

Hey folks! One of my best friends, Eli, is in a lot of financial trouble right now. She was forced out of her apartment because of a sewage problem, just had a job offer rejected, and got hit with a ton of overdraft fees because of all of it. Even if it's a couple bucks, it would really mean a lot to me if you send something his way. He's a real sweetheart and doesn't deserve to be in such a rough situation!

[atiny-piratequeen]

I thought about changing things up because I am an avid reader and can name him after some of my favourite characters but then I tend to overthink it and then think it would be odd to have seven of them named after idols and then have a Steve (I wouldnt actually name him Steve but you get my drift)

I mean. Its only weird if someone makes it. They're your pets and you'll love them regardless. Ive had tyson and pele and neo and allora (and more) and all of them came from different places and yknow what? As long as you're happy and they're being cared for, thats what matters

[sguidwards-bestfriend]

Young Old Things

I like the thought of a deaged Dan causing a misunderstanding between Danny, Vlad, and the batfam.

TW: sexual assault hinted at

....

Danny, Dan, and Ellie go to see Jazz in Gotham. They've been waiting to "visit" her for weeks since she moved out. Only waiting for her to get a big enough place for all of them. Danny already said he'd share a room with Ellie and Dan, especially now that they found out if she is her true age she'll start to stabilize more permanently with Danny's ecto. Plus, having Dan be the same size helps, or so she says (he might be desperate for a new family and Ellie is trying to help, Danny and Jazz never bring it up in front of him).

The Fenton parents don't know about Danny being Phantom, instead believing that some big ghostly event caused Danny to have a ghost daughter.

And that he tried to clone himself mixed with a ghost to use that body to stabilize her. They may be proud of their scientist son, they are not proud that he won't let them experiment on his ghostly "creations".

Of course they are entirely wrong:

Ellie is one of Vlads' attempts to clone him, the only one that survived.

And Dan is an amalgamation of Danny and Vlad from an alternate timeline. He doesn't know why he's keeping that from his parents. He owes nothing to that scumbag, but Jazz says many victims try to keep their abusers safe from facing consequences. Before Dan was deaged, and much before he met the Fenton parents, he'd pointed out that he'd be scared who his parents would have chosen to believe too.

Jazz gets a full ride scholarship with Gotham U, the Wayne's new massive donation to the psychology department, as well as her well written letter about being the head of her home, helped immensely.

She felt bad using a slightly blurred version of their story to get a good scholarship, but Danny pushed her to go for it.

Hence her, Danny and his 3 year old "twins" were at a gala for the university.

It was being held in the museum after closing hours. The invitation she got had specified that her brother was invited, each with a plus one.

They couldn't exactly get a babysitter for two super-powered toddlers in the city known for hating metas. Besides it wasn't like they had time to get dates anyway.

The night started out fine. There were scholarship students, student council members, some Gotham U staff, and a few rich folk mingling and eating tiny foods that both Ellie and Dan adored.

Ellie fell asleep in Danny's arms almost the second she'd finished eating, and Dan was overly protective of the both of them as always. Of course the dense crowd and constant noise wasn't helping calm him down.

A Wayne, he wasn't sure which one exactly, had brought Danny a plate of food and sat with him as he tried to distract Dan. At first Dan didn't care for him at all, but he mentioned reading about the constellation on Dan's shirt and he loosened up. He never let go of Danny's pant leg though.

The night turned sour when all three's ghost sense went off. There was no immediate threat, but even the Wayne kid noticed them tense and turned to the hallway.

Dan was the first to spot him. "Vad."

"Bad?" The man mimicked.

"He has trouble with his Ls."

"No! I can say Ellie." Dan huffed, poking the side of her sparkly green shoe.

"Vlad, the guy that walked in." Danny said, decidedly looking down into his daughter's sleeping face, squished into his shirt and drooling.

"Vladimir Masters?"

He nodded, before he could continue however Dan spoke up.

"He is bad. He's the reason I was born. And Ellie too." Dan put himself in front of Danny, his little legs going over Danny's feet like a guard dog.

He could see the Wayne's hands tighten into fists, he tapped the inside of his wrist a bit and watched as he squirmed in his seat.

"Hey, Tim." Another dark haired light eyed Wayne and a girl came up to them. "Who's this?"

"Danny, these are my sibilings. Dick and Cass. Guys, this is Danny."

"Hi, nice to meet you Danny. I'd shake your hand but it looks busy." He gestured towards Ellie. As his hand swept nearer, Dan tried to swipe it away. "Oh, and who's this."

"I'm Dan. You can't touch Mommy." His little face contorted into his best toddler attempt at scaring them off.

"I would never do that. No one here would." Dick said as he crouched down to be eye level with his son.

"He would." Dan pointed at Vlad, all three turned to look at the man. Before anyone else noticed, specifically Vlad himself, Danny pushed his arm down.

"Don't point, it's rude."

"He's a rude butt." Danny laughed softly and Dan continued. "It doesn't mater that I'm half of him, I'll never be evil like him." He yawned and laid his face on Danny's leg.

"I think that's enough signs that we should head home. Thank you for talking with me, Tim."

"No problem, it was m-"

Dan grabbed around Danny's legs and whined "I don't wanna gooOOOooo. I want more of the tiny hot dogs."

Danny looked up to see Vlad infront of the food table. The Wayne sibilings followed his gaze "I'm sorry buddy, but-"

Tim stood up, "I'll get you guys a whole mountain of the tiny hot dogs. Why don't you guys wait for me at the door." Ever so softly he heard Tim whisper, "Go with them." To his brother.

"Where are your things? I'll help you get ready." Dick looked around like he didn't know where the coat closet was. He'd probably been to events like this hundreds of times, but Danny appreciated the sentiment.

"Their stroller is at the entrance, I have to get my sister though."

The girl who hadn't said a word hummed and went off, "Cass can find her, I'll help you and we can meet at the entrance."

"Alright, thank you."

It wasn't until they had both kids in the stroller with their coats on and Dan had a bottle of milk (with a lot of ectoplasm in it) that Danny realized he'd never mentioned who his sister was.

Dick waved towrds the end of the hall and saw his sister and the two Waynes he'd met walking with Brucie Wayne himself.

Jazz looked down and pat Cass' hand. "Thank you for getting me."

"Danger." Her voice was soft, but she didn't seem shy like he had expected.

"All four of you seemed to get along well with my kids. Would you like to come by for dinner next week?" Brucie asked as he looked between the four of them.

"I'd love to!" Jazz said enthusiastically. "Would Tuesday ight work?"

Danny could see the gears start to speed up in her head and he huffed a little. "Jazz, I need to get them in bed."

"Right, of course. Thank you again, for everything."

"Tuesday night works perfectly," Brucie Wayne said with a massive smile on his face, "we'll send someone to pick you up. Have a good night."

With that they walked down the ramp and down a few blocks to their two bed room apartment.

"Jazz," She looked over to Danny, "I think they know more than they are letting on."

She lent over the stroller a bit to check if the kids were asleep, before adding, "I agree, I think there is something up with them, but I don't think they're bad."

"Dan was okay with them mostly, and Ellie was fast asleep even with then around."

"I guess we'll just have to find out, then. Besides, it would be good for you to make friends your age and not at the car shop."

"Yeah, alright."