#you got up to pee 10 times in 10 minutes

[20dollarlolita]

Something that I've used to judge my health, in more ways than one, is what I call the need-to-pee test.

When I'm sitting, wasting time, and I need to pee, healthy me will just get up and go to the bathroom. That's normal behavior.

Sometimes, however, elements of my health will make that very basic task difficult. When you recognize that you need to pee, but you have to have an internal conversation with The Vampire of Despair about if you needing to pee is a failure and a judgement on your worth as a human being, you need to reach out to someone about your mental health. Being too depressed to get up and go pee is a sign that something in your mental health is very wrong. It's a sign that it's "bad enough" to really need some help.

When you recognize that you need to pee, but you don't want to get up because your body will be in pain, that's a sign that your pain is "bad enough" where you should do something about it. If you've been sitting around your house telling yourself that shit's fine, but you also procrastinate on the basic duty of going to take a pee because doing that simple task is going to cause you so much pain that it's not worth the comfort you get from not needing to pee, your body is fucked, and shit's not fine.

Getting up and going to pee is a thing that should not take effort or be unpleasant. Having difficult getting up and going to the bathroom often means that your problem is actually pretty bad. If you've been ignoring the problem, it's a very good sign that you should stop ignoring the problem.

Needing to pee but not being able to get up and go pee because the cat is sitting on you, however, is normal operating procedure. How dare you move the cat for something as selfish as your basic bodily functions. You metabolized and you didn't even get permission? The cat does not approve.

[polarfarina]

I am really sore from work I wish riding five hours in the car didn't require having your feet on the ground

[spencereidluver]

F is for First Date

summary: You and Spencer go on your first date to a little coffee shop before work. You convince him to try your coffee, and he finds he enjoys it.

word count: 2.8k

warnings: none. just fluff and spencer being a gentleman

You roll over in your bed, throwing the covers off of your body. It was hot. Why was it so hot? You look over to your alarm cock: 8:03 a.m. You were running late. 45 minutes late, actually. Luckily, your apartment is only a few blocks away from the office, however, you typically left at 8:10. That left you 7 minutes to do your normal hour long routine.

You quickly jump up from your bed, letting the blankets fall wherever they pleased. Honestly, what’s the point in making the bed? You’re just going to tear it apart in your sleep tonight, anyways. You jog slightly to your bathroom, grabbing your hairbrush and multitasking as you did your morning pee. You brushed your teeth in record time, definitely not two minutes, but at least the morning breath was gone.

You went back to your room, slipping off your flannel pajama pants and gray “Harvard” shirt. You didn’t go to Harvard. You just liked the oversized shirt. 

You grabbed a nude-toned bra out of your dresser and clasped it behind your back. You slid a white lace top over your head and threw a tan fuzzy cardigan on. You put a pair of dark tights on and pulled a dark brown leather miniskirt over them, tucking the white top in. You slid on thick white socks on, ones that ended at your mid-shin, and put on a pair of black converse. 

Good enough, you thought to yourself, not bothering to put on makeup. You planned to stay in the office today. No meetings, and pray to god no cases. You just wanted a chill day.

You left your apartment at 8:15, not much later than you normally did, you’d just have to take out the coffee stop this morning. 

______

You nearly drop your bag as you’re rushing through the parking lot, trying desperately to enter the building before 8:30. Not only were you up late this morning, but traffic was a bitch. It wouldn’t be a big deal if you were a few minutes late, however you’ve been petulant in your 9 months and don’t plan to start truancy now. 

Of course, Derek, who 9 times out of 10 is fashionablly late, sees you speed walking through the parking lot.

“Hey Sweetheart, what are you doing in so late?” He jokingly cat-calls you through the lot.

“Slept late,” You respond in a yell, not slowing your step at all.

“Aw, baby needs her beauty sleep?” “Something like that.”

You rush into the building, crossing through the glass doors of the BAU office right as the clock struck 8:30, Derek somehow a full two minutes behind you. You walk over to your desk and place your knitted tote bag filled with personal items on the ground beneath you. Sitting in your chair, you plop the stack of paperwork in front of you, and look at the man across from you.

“Morning, Spence,” You say as you open the file.

“Goodmorning, y/n. How was your morning?” He asks curiously. 

“Well, I overslept and didn’t have time for a coffee stop, but luckily I was having a good hair day so it doesn’t matter. How about you?”

“Well I couldn’t even tell. You look great. My morning was alright. I got my coffee.” He mockingly takes a big sip before standing up and excusing himself. 

You didn’t know where he was going, though you had enough paperwork to let it pass through your mind. You quickly began scribbling through the papers and placing files where they needed to go. You forgot how messy you’d left your desk Friday when you returned from a case. You were in a big hurry to leave and go to dinner with the team, you just threw everything from the case on your desk and scrammed. It wasn’t a big deal though, it was just easy, boring paperwork. 

Spencer returned a few minutes later with a coffee cup in hand. He approached your desk. “Hey, y/n,” he says, you move your attention from the paperwork to him towering over you. “I made you a coffee. I um, I put two sugars in it, I hope that’s alright, I’ve seen you drink it like that before and-”

“It’s perfect, Spence, thank you.” You say, taking the cup as he hands it down to you.

He hurries to his chair and hides his face. You curiously turned the cup around. There, you saw the inscription of his homely handwriting. “y/n: do you want to go out for coffee tomorrow morning before work? -Spence.” 

You smiled, and went to look up at him, but he instinctively scurried away. Though, he’d left his half drank cup of coffee on his desk. You walk over to his, and flop down in his chair, it almost swallowing you whole as the leather back had fitted to his broader shoulders. You grab the coffee and a Sharpie marker from his pencil cup. “Spence: of course I do… 7:30? <3”

You get up and return to your  desk, almost on cue, Spencer returns. You were unsure of where he came from, though it didn’t matter. He sat at his desk, and you nodded your head to the cup. He looked confused for a brief second, before bringing it to his eyes to read it. 

He looked up and smiled at you. “ 7:30 sounds great, I’ll meet you there,” he says.

“Okay! I’m parking here and walking, if you wish to join,” you say, taking a sip of the special made coffee. It was no different than how you normally made it, but it tasted special because of who made it.

“I’ll meet you in the parking lot here, then. How’s that?” “That’s perfect, Spence.”

You return to your paperwork, unable to hide the smile on your face. You’d waited so long for this moment, you couldn’t believe it was finally happening. You caught Spencer smiling a few times as well. You wondered how long he’d wanted to ask you out. You’ve found Spencer attractive since the day you started working here. You were so beyond ecstatic something was finally happening between the two of you. 

You finished your coffee quickly. It was the best coffee you have ever tasted. You thought briefly for a second, before going to the kitchen to clean the styrofoam cup out. You made sure it was no longer sticky or had any coffee residue before drying it completely and taking it back to your desk. You open the small pencil drawer of your desk and pull out four sticky notes. Notes Spencer had left you in the past few weeks. You placed the four notes in the cup and placed a new lid on it. Putting the cup in the side drawer, you smiled to yourself. You’ve kept every note Spencer has ever given you. And you don’t plan on stopping any time soon.

_____

‘7:28,’ the clock on the dash of your car read. You looked in your rearview mirror at the road behind you. There was Spencer in his old man car. You’d been early, nervous about your date, though you knew it would go good. You wore a fitted white turtleneck with a knitted tank top sweater vest of different shades of brown on top. You paired this with a khaki skirt and the same pair of black converse. You realized this was a very Spencer-esque outfit, and it was quite possible you and him could have nearly the exact same outfit on today.

Luckily, Spencer picked from the other side of his closet this morning. He approached you wearing dark brown slacks and black converse as well. He had his satchel pulled over his waist, drawing attention to the way he swayed as he walked. He had a dark, though not as dark as his pants, sweater that was open, and underneath was a collared off-white shirt and a diagonally striped tie. His left hand rested on his satchel, and his right was hidden behind his back. He did his little hoppy jog to your car, you having opened the door, grabbing your knitted tote bag, and beginning to make your way around to him.

“Good morning, y/n,” he says as he reaches you. 

“Hi, Spence,” You didn’t know why, but you were suddenly very shy. Maybe because this was a “formal date,” but you’d been on friend dates with Spencer so many times before. 

Spencer was clearly nervous too, though less than you. His hand from behind his back made itself known, in his fist was a single red rose. “I um, I got this for you. I know it’s only one, but I actually saw a flower patch on my way here and I didn’t want to take them all.” He was rambling.

“I love it, it’s perfect.” You grab the rose from his hand, letting your fingers run over the petals. They were smooth. He could see you were trying not to touch the stem too much, as you were trying not to touch the thorns. 

“I picked all the thorns off so you didn’t hurt yourself. I don’t have any water for it or anything…”

You examined the stem. You saw all the spots where thorns once laid. He was so sweet. Not only did he make a stop to pick you a rose, but he also safety coded it. You were going to keep this rose forever. You knew it. You planned on pressing the flowers once you got home from work that night. Maybe you could keep the petals in the “note drawer,” or maybe you could start a new drawer..

“Spencer, hey, I love it okay. Thank you.” You slid the stem of the rose between two knits of your bag, it poking inside and the flower on the outside like a pin. You saw Spencer smile. He was proud of himself. 

The two of you began to walk through the parking lot. Spencer paid careful attention to your feet, matching his gate exactly with yours. As you neared the end of the parking lot, reaching the sidewalk next to a fairly busy street, you felt a hand gently brush your waist. Spencer switched sides, him now being on the side adjacent to the road. First flowers, and now this? This boy was a true gentleman.

You smiled to yourself. Technically, the date hadn’t even begun yet, but you were already certain you wanted a relationship to blossom from this. You looked to the man to your left, the sun in a position to hit against his face in a way that made him look like an angel. You couldn’t help yourself. You reached over and took hold of his hand. He jumped slightly, before gripping a little too tight. He looked down at you and smiled. 

“You’re so pretty, y/n,” Spencer said. He’d been waiting what seemed like years- though only 9 months- to tell you that. You didn’t know where Spencer learned how to flirt, but frankly you didn’t care. You really liked this side of him.

“I think you’re pretty too, Spence.” You said. He smiled and ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it back from his forehead. Wow.

______

The coffee shop made itself known once you reached the top of a hill. The natural brick on the outside makes it look homey. It was about a 10 minute walk from the parking lot of the BAU, but Spencer and you were agents. You made the walk take a total of eight minutes. Speed walking isn’t a training module for the FBI, though it is definitely learned, and quickly. 

Spencer opened the door and allowed for you to enter first. Yet another gentlemanly move today. The smell of coffee filled your noses. It reminded you of Spencer. He always had coffee breath, yet not the nasty kind. He always seemed to smell so wonderful.

“Hello,” the barista at the counter cheerfully said as you and Spencer entered the small building. The two of you approached her. “What can I get for you guys today?”

You order your regular and Spencer orders a black coffee with a LOT of sugar. You retrieve the coffees from the pick up area and sit at a raised table in the corner next to a window.

“Why do you like black coffee?” you ask him. 

“I’m not sure. I always drank it when I was growing up and throughout college… and honestly, I’ve never tried it any other way.” He responded, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Really?” you said surprised. “With how much coffee you drink, I’m surprised you haven’t ventured into new territory even once.”

“Not once.” He took another sip. You noticed him kicking his feet beneath the table.

“Do you want to try a sip of mine?”

He smiled, crinkling his nose up. “Sure, do you want to try mine?”

“I guess I’ll give it a shot, though I will say I’m not the biggest fan of black coffee, so don’t be mad if I don��t like it.”

“I can’t promise anything, I can’t even say I’m going to like your girly drink.” He was teasing.

“I’ll tell you what Spence. You like my coffee and I’ll buy you a croissant. I like your coffee, you buy me a croissant. Deal?”

“It’s a deal, y/l/n.”

You switched cups. He gave it a sniff before popping open the lid to see inside. Tensley, he took a sip. You saw his eyes bulge. Licking his lips as he brought the cup down, he wrinkled his nose once again. He brought the cup back up, taking another sip. 

“You know what, I think you owe me a croissant.”

You smiled at  him, before taking a sip of his old man coffee, you cocked your head to the side. 

“You don’t like it, do you?” He laughed. 

You quickly sat the cup down and jumped up from your seat. You walked up to the counter, and ordered one regular croissant. Returning to the table with the plastic container in hand, you tossed in down in front of him. 

He opened the container, and tore a piece of the pastry off. He took a bite, and attempted to slide the container to you. In the process, it collided with his cup of coffee which was still situated on your side, causing it to spill all over your blouse. 

“Oh my god, y/n, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, at least it wasn’t hot anymore.” You reach for the few napkins on the table, trying to dry yourself off despite knowing it wouldn’t do anything.

You were giggling, but Spencer didn’t find this one bit funny. He felt awful. You began to attempt wiping the table with the napkins, but were stopped by Spencer’s hand grabbing your damp-sleeved arm. 

“Hey, don’t worry about the table. I got it.” He gets up to go get napkins from the counter, before stopping in his tracks. He turns around and comes back to you, sitting in the chair using the sleeve of your sweater to stop the liquid from pouring onto your skirt and the ground. “Y/n, do you want to wear my sweater?”

This takes you a bit off guard. For a second, you forget your soaking wet with warm coffee. Your voice catches in your throat as you try to speak, but Spencer is already unbuttoning the two fastened buttons and sliding the sweater off his shoulders.

“You can go to the bathroom and change. I’ve got the mess, okay?” He hands you the sweater and makes room for you to move around him. You rush to the bathroom, trying not to leave a trail of coffee droplets through the lobby.

Turning into a stall, you immediately begin taking your sweater and white shirt off, tossing white one in the small garbage can. There was no way you’d be able to get the coffee stains out, and plus, the shirt was only $4 on sale at WalMart. Only left in your wire bra, you slip the brown sweater on. You button it all the way up, but as it’s a men’s sweater, it’s a little more of a V-neck than you’d like, especially since you were going to work soon. You tucked one side of the sweater into your skirt, letting the other side hang over to create dimension in your outfit and make it less simple. You toss your damp sweater vest over your shoulder and exit the bathroom.

Spencer was waiting for you when you came out. He’d gotten the mess cleaned up and was ready to leave. He grabs your hand, leading you outside the doors to begin your walk back to work. 

next chapter: G is for Girlfriend

a/n: Sorry it took so long on this chapter, I've been pretty busy. Hopefully I can get the next few out quickly as I hope to release part M (the christmas themed) on Christmas day.

taglist: @universallyblizzardlove @ms-ks-world @justlivinginadaydream @dij-ology @lotus-ignis @sammy-4103 @ktssstuff @ada--44 @moongirl27 @monfleurr @shycreationdreamland @cultish-corner @ariianelle @iiheartbowie @spencerreidismybitch @traderjoesmints @ivyflowers13 @hades-disappointment-child @aceofspades190 @taygrls @hookergutss @random-3455 @nmw-am @bookworm124 @hizzielover @jem08 @cherrybowbabby @theofficialfunk

[ddejavvu]

Touch starved pilots of your choice cuddling their s/o headcanons

characters written: pete 'maverick' mitchell, nick 'goose' bradshaw, tom 'iceman' kazansky, ron 'slider' kerner, leonard 'wolfman' wolfe, rick 'hollywood' neven, beau 'cyclone' simpson, bradley 'rooster' bradshaw, jake 'hangman' seresin, natasha 'phoenix' trace, robert 'bob' floyd, javy 'coyote' machado, mickey 'fanboy' garcia, reuben 'payback' fitch

sfw, but cut for length. enjoy!

Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell:

depends on what age you're thinking!

if it's young!mav, he's probably just a liiiitle reluctant to let himself relax sometimes

he's sort of got his tough guy persona, and he's not used to dropping it, so when you get him alone he tries messing around at first

whether that's a few too many kisses, or a pinch to your side, he guards himself a bit before letting himself go

but when he does, oh, he's like a little kitten !

he lets you run your hands through his gelled hair (gross)

and it gets all misshapen and spiky

he probably just melts when you pet his hair like that, and he'll be snoozing on your chest in no time

now older!mav is definitely less of a tough nut to crack

he probably initiates the cuddling in the first place, he nudges you over to the bed and lays himself on top of you to crush you

you can push at his chest and splutter all you want, but he's made his choice on where he's going to lay, and it's on you

he likes holding you, but he wants to be face-to-face, so you can brush noses and bump foreheads

he probably tries sooo hard to stay awake so that he can soak in the time you're spending together but peepaw definitely crashes like 10 minutes in

Nick 'Goose' Bradshaw:

he also likes to be face to face!

buuut not for the same sweet reason as mav

he just wants to itch you with his mustache

he likes nipping at you too, he bites your nose to make you laugh

you won't be getting any sleep when you cuddle with goose, he just wants to talk and laugh and hold you the entire time

it's not a period of time to wind down, it's a big laugh-fest

and god FORBID you try to get up to pee

“Nick, I have to go.” / “Sorry, honey. I can’t let go. I think my hand’s stuck.” / “NICK!!”

Tom ‘Iceman’ Kazansky

he’s another one who probably has just a bit of trouble letting his guard down

he’ll cuddle with you no doubt, but he’ll probably always keep you in his lap or have some sort of upper hand in the embrace

it takes a while before he’s ready to be held himself

when he does finally give in it's so soft and sweet :')

he's had a really hard day and he comes home with his eyes drooping

you've planned a movie night but he doesn't even look like he could sit through an episode of a tv show

so you lead him to bed instead, and tell him you're sleepy, cause he won't 'ruin' the night by admitting that he is

you ask to play with his hair and he lets you, but he's not sure why 'cause you just said you were tired??

you basically have to trick him into being held but once his head is on your chest and your hands are in his hair he's gone.

he ends up mumbling something all sleepy and groggy like 'mm, that's nice' and his eyes are half shut and he's so endearingly tired :')

he wants you to do it all the time now, I'd say it's about 50/50 whether you fall asleep holding him or he falls asleep holding you

Ron 'Slider' Kerner:

slider's a big boy!!!!!!!

he's big and tall and muscly, the perfect cuddle buddy

he's probably more inclined to hold than be held

but he likes it when you face him so you can wrap your arms around his back :')

he probably likes it when he's able to bury his face in your neck/shoulder/against the top of your head

like he always wants his face snuggled in somewhere warm and nice smelling

and it just so happens his chest is an excellent place to get lost yourself

so you most of the time just nuzzle right into each other and get to snoozin'

i think he'd talk real soft, too, he'd murmur against your ear while you're drifting off, probably boring you to sleep with technical details of his flights but just before you crash for the night he slips in a little 'i love you, honey' and <33333

Leonard 'Wolfman' Wolfe:

he's a loser for his partner it has to be said

almost as teasing as nick is but not quite

he'll let you fall asleep he just wants to talk to you AllTheTime because he LovesYouSoMuch

he's a chatterbox and you'll be lucky if you get to sleep at a decent hour

he really likes it when you lay your head on his chest

'cause he likes playing with your hair and your face :]

sometimes he'll just use you as a little stress toy and squeeze your cheeks and pinch your nose and poke at your forehead

always making silly little jokes and telling you all about his day

down to, like, every comment one of his friends made...

'and then slider said he was gonna kill him but hollywood ran, so then they were just chasing each other around and iceman said-' / 'babe.. can we sleep? please?' / 'oh! right, sorry baby.'

Rick 'Hollywood' Neven

listen there's a reason he and wolfman get along so well

they're BOTH teases!!!

cuddling with hollywood is not really relaxing, because he's always pinching your sides or putting his nasty cold feet all over you, or pretending to knock you out by fake-punching you a bunch

you're just laying there and he's 'punching' your stomach, making fake punch sounds with his mouth, and if you push him away he'll pretend you've absolutely knocked him out, tumbling down onto the mattress with this dramatic thump and closing his eyes and sticking his tongue out of his mouth like he's a dead cartoon character 😭

he's like a dog you have to get his energy out before trying to rest with him or he just Won't Rest

when you DO get him sleepy, though, he's kinda incoherent when he's tired, so you'll be cuddled up together, maybe you're scratching his back, maybe he's playing with your hair, and he's just sort of mumbling nonsense until he finally drifts off to sleep

Beau 'Cyclone' Simpson:

will not be held

sorry! not happening

he's just so big and beefy and authoritative that he doesn't much enjoy being coddled

he loves cuddling with you though, he gets very relaxed just laying with you

he's a casual toucher, i think, so you can rest your head on his shoulder at the airport, you can hold his hand at restaurants, whether that be over or under the table, he lets you hang all over him however you want

he's not super into in-your-face PDA, though, so you'll have to be polite and considerate about it

actually in bed though, under the blankets at night?

he's so much more cuddly than you'd expect

he wraps his big strong arms around you and tugs you close and lets you melt all over him <33

your favorite place to lay your head is probably his chest 'cause it's so broad and firm and nice <3

he's a good back rubber so cuddles are always soft and cozy and sleepy

Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw:

lord he's a cuddler

he's just a touchy guy, because he's probably gone without it for a significant amount of time so now that he's got you he's gonna enjoy it

big big big on pda, doesn't really care who sees

so that means cuddling in public, too

perfectly content to sit by the beach with you in his lap all cuddled back into his chest he doesn't care if anyone teases him

but back in bed he's a sucker for head scratches

if you have long-ish nails, enough to scratch at his scalp, he'll literally melt over you like an ice cream cone

his limbs go all gooey and he flops his head down on your chest, groaning and grunting while you scratch through his hair

he really enjoys sleeping on top of you, whether that be fully chest-to-chest 'you're suffocating me' cuddling or just an arm thrown over your stomach while he lays on his own

he likes being held, too, but probably prefers to hold unless he's having a hard day

Jake 'Hangman' Seresin:

big boy!! surprisingly fond of being held for everything we know about him

that cocky demeanor does not last under the sheets

he adores holding you, of course, he'll wrap his big arms around you and cradle your head to his chest

he probably plays with your hair, looooves it when you tangle your legs up with his own

he prefers if you talk to him rather than him talk to you if you're cuddling

cause he likes the sound of your voice and he loves hearing about your day

he tries to listen so attentively to what you're saying, but if you're taking a little too long telling him about that batty old customer that had visited the shop you work at today, his eyes are going to slowly start to droop and he's gonna let out a big ol yawn that means it's time for him to close his eyes

you always cut yourself off like 'sorry, jake. g'head, go to sleep'

and he insists you continue like 'nooo darlin' i wanna hear! keep going :]' except within two minutes he's dozing against the pillow while you talk about the old lady again

he's a simple man just talk soft and slow to him while snuggled up in his arms and he's gonna sleep no matter what you're telling him

Natasha 'Phoenix' Trace:

she really likes laying face-to-face with you!!

she's a fan of spooning, of course, she likes either burying her face in your back or letting you snuggle into hers

but she loves the intimacy that comes from being pretty much nose-to-nose with you

the type to lay there and chat with you mere inches away so that you're leaning in to kiss her all giggly and bashful every four seconds

she uses your cuddle time to tell you all about her teammates, what stupid shit jake said today, how bob almost tripped down the stairs, that fanboy's got a new girlfriend who wants to meet you, etc etc etc

but that means when you see them next you know all of the hot gossip about everyone and you giggle every time jake says something dumb and he's like WHAT.. WHAT IS IT.. WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH ME.. and you give nat this little ;) 'cause you'll definitely be talking shit about him later

she does this thing where she cradles the back of your head in her hand if you're face to face and she throws her leg over your waist and it gives you such intense butterflies that you need to close your eyes sometimes <3333

Robert 'Bob' Floyd:

cuddlebug <3

he loooves cuddling but if you do it face-to-face he's gonna need to be super close to you because he can't see without his glasses 😭

i'm taking like nose-to-nose so close that you have to cross your eyes to see him

otherwise he's pretty chill in what positions he likes

you love it when he reads to you

i think he might not be the most confident reader out loud but he does it anyways 'cause it puts you to sleep

he gets really sleepy really easily so sometimes it's best to refrain from cuddling in public

like you're out on the beach by a firepit and you're all snuggled up together but oops he can't enjoy his smores because he's sleeping on your shoulder

he loves it when you lay your head on his shoulder sm :'))

he wraps his arm around you and tugs you closer <3

Javy 'Coyote' Machado:

prefers holding to being held

probably a little less talkative than the rest, but that doesn't mean you never chat

he just has this insane ability to fall asleep anywhere, i'm talking slumped against the bus window, leaning against the wall, sitting on the ground, piloting his aircraft sorry

he likes staring at you, though, while he falls asleep :')

if you're talking to him he'll listen and nod and hum along and agree when he should, he's a very good listener

but slowly he'll start to fade a bit, and he'll sling his hand over your waist, smush his face into the pillow, and keep listening for as long as he can

slooooowly you start getting less responses from him, he's not reacting as much, but his eyes are always locked onto your face and he's got this lazy little smile on his face while he drifts off to sleep 'cause he gets to look at you the whole time :')

loverboy!!

Mickey 'Fanboy' Garcia:

the most talkative in the whole wide world

cuddling with him is barely even cuddling, it's watching him act out his entire day

'and then payback went like this and- BAM! shot it down.'

and he's up on his knees in the middle of the bed with his arms out demonstrating exactly how they'd worked through their training exercises that day

and he is loud and energetic and you're half-asleep like 'that sounds awesome, babe.'

he isn't one to stay in one place really, he likes tossing and turning a bit before he falls asleep which means that you are also going to be tossed and turned

he's a really shifty sleeper too so you'll wake up with your face in his armpit

if you're really sleepy though, he'll settle down, he'll pull you into his chest and let you fall asleep there

but he'll probably be on his phone for a bit, he strikes me as a crazy night owl

Reuben 'Payback' Fitch:

out in two seconds

there is no conscious cuddling with him

why?

because the second his head hits the pillow he's snoring

you can cuddle up to him but if he's cuddling up to you he's doing it in his sleep

you're actually so jealous of him bc you lay down for the night and he tucks his chin over your head or he snuggles his face into your neck and that's it.

he's out.

he's a clingy sleeper, though, so if you wanna read for a bit or use your phone it might be kind of hard

honestly it really helps your sleep schedule to sleep with him 'cause sometimes he's entirely wrapped around you and you can't move

so there's nothing to do but sleep yourself

he's like a living furnace i KNOW that man runs hot

you probably wake up sweating a bunch if you're all snuggly with him

blanket stealer. he somehow manages to tear them off of the end of the bed where they're tucked in and cocoon himself

and then you wake up freezing cold

when i said he snores i mean it he snores loud

it's sort of comforting eventually? like at first it drives u insane

but over time you come to rely on it as white noise and you can't sleep unless he's all over you snoring right in your ear and drooling on your shoulder

[tigertales9]

Hard Reset V

Pairing: Joe Burrow x Reader

Warnings: 18+ / Smut

Description: This fic covers the week 6 lead-up and win against the Seahawks.

Time/Place: Monday, Oct. 9, 2023 - Sunday, Oct. 15, 2023 / Cincinnati, Ohio

A/N: This is the fifth fic in the Hard Reset series.

I'm still putting the finishing touches on the bye week secret wedding/honeymoon chapter. It's about 80% finished so I hope to get it up fairly soon.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Monday, 10/9/23 (the morning after the week 5 win against the Cardinals)

You wake up slowly, the smell of coffee wafting up from downstairs letting you know Joe's parents are already up. You turn your head to check the clock on the bedside table, groaning when you realize it's still pretty early.

Joe shifts in his sleep and your gaze is drawn to him, your eyes slowly raking over his bare chest and abs as the sheet rides dangerously low on his hips. His body is a work of art, you think to yourself, enjoying the view for a minute longer before easing out of bed to go pee.

When you walk back in the bedroom, Joe is giving you a sleepy smile as he stretches his tall, muscular frame, the motion causing the sheet to dip even lower exposing the fact that he's semi-erect. "Hey," you whisper, quickly making sure the bedroom door is locked before crawling back in bed beside him.

"Hey," he mutters. "I smell coffee. Is it time to get up?"

"Do you want to get up?"

"Hell no," he groans, his gaze settling on your bare breasts as you flick the sheet all the way off of him.

"Then just relax. We're cooking brunch later than normal today since we got home so late."

"Good," he sighs, his erection leveling up to fully-erect as you ghost your fingertips over it.

"Spread your legs," you order, crawling in between when he does your bidding. "I'm gonna suck you off then let you get another few hours of sleep while I entertain your parents."

"You're so good to me," he purrs, burying his hands in your hair as you get down to business.

~ ~ ~

You're bustling around the kitchen almost three hours later when Joe ambles downstairs, dramatically sniffing the air while finger-combing his unruly curls. "Something smells delicious," he says, quickly holding his hands out as his mom shoves a stack of napkins and silverware at him. "Set the table, sleepyhead," she chirps. "Brunch is almost ready."

Joe gives you a smile before heading off to do her bidding, his eyes going wide when his dad walks in from the patio holding a platter of grilled steaks. "Oh yum," he groans. "How did you know I was craving steak?"

"Because Y/n told us," Jimmy laughs, covering the steaks with a foil tent to let them rest for a few minutes while you and Robin start fixing plates.

You load Joe's plate up with scrambled eggs, roasted mini potatoes, a couple of biscuits drenched in gravy and a juicy steak while he watches over your shoulder, literally licking his chops at the sight.

"Don't just stand there drooling, Joseph Lee," his mom laughs. "Pour you a glass of orange juice."

"Yes, ma'am," he mumbles. "You want some OJ, babe?" he asks, grabbing a second glass when you say yes.

The conversation at brunch is mostly his mom asking questions as everyone else tucks into their food. "Did you get in really late?" she asks Joe. "Your dad and I were asleep about five minutes after our heads hit the pillow so we didn't hear you come in. I bet you crashed the second you got in bed."

"Yep, totally crashed," Joe mutters, keeping his expression completely neutral, but when his gaze meets yours you know he's thinking about last night.

The sex is always next-level after a good win, and last night after the win in Arizona was no exception. He promised you "mind-blowing, hair-pulling, screaming-orgasm sex minus the screaming" and he 100% delivered it, getting you off three times before he finally finished then basically passing out while you were still cleaning him up with a warm washcloth. The early morning head was your way of helping him go back to sleep plus closing the orgasm gap just a bit.

Not to mention I love the feel and taste of his cock in my mouth, you think to yourself, a blush rising in your cheeks when he raises an eyebrow at you like he's reading your mind.

Robin's voice breaks into your dirty thoughts. "So the upcoming lakehouse getaway sounds fun!" she enthuses.

She knows y'all are going to a lakehouse for bye week, but she doesn't know it's a secret honeymoon.

"We still have the Seahawks game before that," Joe mumbles around a bite of steak.

"We're looking forward to the bye week," you state, giving her a warm smile as she looks between you and Joe.

She returns your smile as she continues. "I looked up that area and there's a really fun looking pumpkin patch type thing going on at the farmers market about fifteen minutes from the lake. Y'all should check it out."

"We'll think about it," you sigh, knowing Joe isn't exactly enthusiastic about stuff like that.

"Way to ruin the surprise, mom," Joe teases. "I planned to take her there."

"Really?" you and Robin chirp at once. "Jinx!" you both holler, laughing when Joe and Jimmy roll their eyes playfully.

Once brunch is done, Joe insists on helping with clean up before rushing his parents out of the house. "Y'all better get going," he states as he places the final plate in the dishwasher. "I have to get to the facility and Y/n has a virtual work meeting."

Fifteen minutes later he shuts the front door behind his parents and turns to face you.

"I don't have a virtual work meeting," you chuckle.

"And I don't have to go to the facility," he states, holding a hand out to you. "Let's go get a nap."

"Sounds wonderful," you groan, placing your hand in his as you head for the stairs.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Tuesday, 10/10/23 - Thursday, 10/12/23

The next few days pass by uneventfully, with Joe home for dinner every night, his good mood infectious as he talks excitedly about some of the new offensive schemes they're installing for the upcoming Seahawks game.

Thursday morning, just before he leaves for the facility, he tells you he has a few things to talk about over dinner later.

"Is everything okay?" you ask.

"Everything's fine," he answers, leaning down to give you a kiss. "I just have a few things to run by you concerning the marriage. Just logistical stuff," he continues when you raise an eyebrow at him.

"Do you need help with anything?" you inquire, a little nervous that he's insisted on arranging the entire thing himself since it was his idea.

"No, ma'am," he chuckles. "I've got it under control."

"Okay … good," you smile, standing on your tiptoes to give him another kiss before he heads for the door.

You're lowkey anxious for most of the day, especially anytime you think about 'the talk' y'all are going to have over dinner. You manage to get through your usual routine without being too distracted, eventually deciding to run to the grocery store to grab stuff to make one of his fav dinners instead of the more mundane sandwiches + pasta salad that you had planned.

~ ~ ~

You step out of the shower and quickly check the time as you dry off, walking into the closet to grab the slinky, halter sundress you'd decided to wear for dinner since the temp is hovering at an unseasonably warm mid-70s. You apply minimal make-up and fluff your hair before heading downstairs, pouring half a glass of wine to settle your nerves and sipping the cold beverage as you gather items to take out to the patio.

You walk back in the house after carrying a few candles outside to set on the patio dining table, a smile curling your lips when you see Joe walking toward you carrying a vase of coral-pink peonies. "Thanks, babe. They're gorgeous," you say, giving him a hug before taking the vase from him. "You're gorgeous," he states, dropping a kiss on your lips. "I'm gonna grab a quick shower," he continues. "I kinda half-assed my post-practice shower."

"Put on something cool," you advise. "We're eating dinner on the patio and it's like 75 degrees."

You watch him disappear upstairs before reading the card nestled in the flowers.

All my love Always Joe

You smile at the sentiment, setting the bouquet on the kitchen island where you can appreciate it while you cook dinner.

Fifteen minutes later he walks back into the kitchen, wearing slinky shorts and a sleeveless tee that showcases his muscular arms; he drops a kiss on the nape of your neck as you sprinkle seasoning on some succulent shrimp. "What are we having?" he asks, watching intently as you drop some linguine into a pot of boiling water. "Shrimp scampi linguini," you answer, smiling when he groans in approval.

You quickly finish cooking dinner, loading up a tray with two plates of scampi, two bowls of salad and a plate of garlic bread before handing it to Joe. "Carry this outside and I'll grab the wine," you order, rushing ahead to open the door for him and leaving it open while you pour two glasses of wine and join him on the patio.

You have the patio set up for a romantic dinner, with several candles on the table plus a few lanterns holding larger candles placed on the ground around the table, each flickering brightly in the gathering dusk.

"This is romantic," he says, giving you a smile as he sets the tray down and places your plates and bowls at each place setting. "I felt like doing something a little special," you grin as you set your wine glasses down. "Speaking of special," you continue, "let me go grab those amazing flowers you got me." You hurry in the house and come back with the frilly arrangement, setting it to the side so as not to block your view of him.

"This looks and smells amazing, babe," he says as y'all sit down and start to eat, getting most of the way through dinner with small talk before he brings up the marriage stuff.

"I talked to our attorney yesterday, and he's got everything set up for our marriage ceremony on Tuesday."

You pop a juicy shrimp in your mouth and nod your head as he continues.

"A county court judge has agreed to come to our house Tuesday at noon to officiate. She said it would be better to do it at our house instead of us going to the courthouse since we're trying to keep it secret. She's already signed the NDA our attorney sent her. Apparently this is not her first rodeo with this type of thing."

You take a sip of wine and return his smile, feeling a little lightheaded that it's all coming full circle.

"She'll bring the marriage license with her, and we'll sign it after the ceremony," he continues. "She knows we just want bare bones vows since we're saving our special vows for the main wedding. No exchanging of rings or anything like that."

"Sounds like you have everything set up," you state.

"You sound surprised."

"Not at all." You give him a wink. "Once you have your mind set on something, it's gonna happen."

"Like getting you to go out with me?" he grins.

"Exactly. You were persistent as hell."

"And here we are five years later, less than a week away from getting married. I get a thrill every time I think about it."

"Me too," you whisper. "I'm glad you don't give up easily. I can't imagine my life without you."

"Same," he says, leaning over to press a kiss on your lips; you lean into the kiss for a bit before he pulls back, the look in his eyes making your pulse react. "You look amazing in this dress," he says, running the slinky hem through his fingers, his hand brushing against your bare thigh causing a sizzle of heat down your spine.

"Thank you," you smile, biting your bottom lip before reaching a hand out to touch one of his muscular arms. "And you look amazing in this shirt," you purr, smiling even bigger when he flexes his bicep when you squeeze it. His gaze holds yours for a few heartbeats before he stands up and starts stacking the plates, bowls, silverware and wine glasses onto the tray. "Just relax," he orders. "I'm gonna pop these in the dishwasher real quick."

He reappears a few minutes later carrying another glass of wine; you smile as he hands it to you. "Trying to get me tipsy?" you tease, taking a sip as he pulls his chair closer to yours and sits down. "Do I need to get you tipsy?" he purrs, taking the wine glass out of your hand and spinning it to press his lips on the spot you just drank from, his eyes locked on yours over the rim as he takes a long, slow sip.

You feel your core contract at the look in his eyes. "No, sir," you whisper, shivering as the wind picks up. "Are you cold?" he asks. "A little," you admit, "but I don't want to go inside yet." You wave a hand at the plethora of candles flickering in the breeze. "I'm enjoying the vibe."

"Me too." He gives you a knowing look while standing up. "Be right back," he says, striding in the house before coming back out with a large throw blanket he grabbed off the sofa; he drops back into his chair and pats his thick thighs. "Come sit on my lap," he urges, cocooning you in the plush blanket when you straddle him. "Is that better?" he asks. "Yeah, thanks," you sigh, the blanket wrapped around you plus the heat radiating off of him immediately warming you up. Not to mention the feel of his cock twitching through those slinky shorts as you wiggle against him.

You slide both hands under the hem of his shirt, a thrill running through you when his body reacts to your touch, his muscles jumping as you skim your fingers over his abs and up his chest. "Let me take this off," you whisper, slipping his shirt off as he raises his arms and leans forward a bit to oblige you. He lifts a hand behind your neck and unties your halter dress, his eyes dropping down to your bare breasts as the slinky fabric slides down to pool around your waist. The heat in his gaze causes your nipples to tighten. "So perfect," he sighs, licking his lips before lowering his head to tease you, fluttering his tongue over one hard nipple for several seconds before sucking it into his hot mouth. You hiss in pleasure and bury a hand in his hair as he moves to your other nipple to repeat the action, his fingers gently pinching and tugging the first nipple that's now slick with his spit.

You arch your back and grind against his erection, a gush of wetness flooding your core as he makes a feral sound low in his throat, your pleasure points throbbing in unison as he continues to tease your sensitive peaks. He grips one of your thighs with his free hand, steadily sliding upward as you squirm against him, your pulse picking up knowing it's only a matter of time before he discovers you're not wearing panties.

He groans when his hand touches your wet heat, his mouth pulling off of a nipple with a pop as he lifts his gaze up to meet yours. "So hot and wet for me," he purrs, his eyes heavy-lidded with arousal as he teases your slick folds. You enjoy the sight of his beautiful face in the flickering candlelight -- a flush of color on his sculpted cheeks, his glistening lips parted as he continues to play with you.

You eventually lean down and suck his plump bottom lip, nipping it with your teeth before his tongue parts your lips and slides into your mouth, your breath catching in your throat when he rubs the pad of his thumb over your clit while ghosting a finger over your drenched slit, dipping just inside before pulling back out, repeating the action over and over until your body is desperate for more.

"Please," you groan into his mouth, whimpering when he deepens the kiss and finally sinks a finger deep inside you, the slow, sensual thrust and retreat of his tongue in your mouth mimicking the pace of his fingering in a way that makes you lightheaded with desire.

He adds a second finger and circles his thumb over your clit, both of you moaning when your core clamps down on him. You break the intense kiss and lock eyes with him. "I wanna cum on your cock," you breathe, your body aching for the thrust of his thick cock, for the delicious stretch of him filling you up with damn near more than you can handle.

He immediately shoves his shorts and undies down just enough to free his erection, the heavy length of it springing up into your waiting hands; you run a finger through his precum and bring it to your mouth, licking it clean while rising up on your knees to line him up with your entrance, slowly lowering yourself -- inch by inch -- your core clenching at the hot, hard intrusion when he's fully seated.

"Go slow," he urges, his prominent Adam's apple bobbing in his throat when he swallows hard. You follow orders, maintaining eye contact with him while pulling up slowly, pausing with just the plump tip inside before sinking back down. You give him a dirty smile and hit a Kegel before pulling up again, squeezing his shaft so hard you feel the throbbing veins that crisscross his member. "Jesus, baby," he hisses. "If you keep doing that I'm gonna cum too fast."

You sink down again and raise an eyebrow at him. "You want me to stop?"

"Fuck no," he groans, gripping your hips as you continue to milk his cock, digging your fingers into his broad shoulders for leverage as you ride him for another several minutes before he moves a hand to your clit. "Cum for me," he grits out, his pupils blown wide with arousal as he rubs you just the way you need to trigger your climax. Your cries of pleasure are carried away on the breeze as your walls rhythmically clench his shaft. He digs his fingers into your hips and thrusts up into you, fucking you through the orgasm for a few more heartbeats before following you over the edge.

You bury your face in the crook of his neck and gasp for breath, relishing the feel of his hands rubbing your back under the blanket as the aftershocks of your climax continue to squeeze him. "I love you," he states, his voice husky in your ear. "Love you, too," you pant, the thought that he's gonna be your husband in less than a week flashing into your mind and putting a smile on your face.

He eventually stands up and sets you in the chair, tugging his shorts up and pulling the blanket tighter around you as the wind picks up. "Let me blow out these candles real quick then let's go get a hot shower and get in bed."

"It's a little early to go to sleep," you tease.

"Who said anything about going to sleep?" he asks, giving you a wink before blowing out the candles.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Friday, 10/13/23

The next morning -- after serving Joe a quick breakfast and ushering him out the door -- you're drinking coffee and admiring the pretty peonies he brought you yesterday when a thought hits you.

"Maybe I should send him some flowers," you mutter to yourself, a smile curling your lips as you contemplate it. You send him a bouquet of purple and yellow roses every January 13th to celebrate the National Championship he won at LSU, but those are always delivered to the house instead of the facility.

"Let's surprise him," you giggle, dialing your fav local florist before you talk yourself out of it.

Several minutes later you've decided on a bouquet of 9 orange roses with some nice greenery to fill it out. The card reading:

For going above and beyond All my love, Y/n

~ ~ ~

A couple hours later you've just finished a work-out and are about to step in the shower when your phone rings. You check the display, a smile gracing your lips as you answer. "Hey gorgeous."

"Hey gorgeous," Joe echoes. "Thanks for the sexy flowers."

"You like them?"

"I love them. Seriously, they're really cool."

"Well, you deserve them after doing all the work to set up our ceremony Tuesday."

He gives a low chuckle. "All the guys think you sent 'em because I rocked your world in bed or something."

"Really?"

"Yep. Even Coach Taylor got in on it."

"No way," you whisper. "What did he say?"

"He said -- 'listen, stud. I'm glad you made your woman happy, but you better dial it back before game day. Make sure you save some energy for the game'."

You roll your eyes. "Leave it to a bunch of men to think it's all about sex."

"I'm hoping it was a little bit about sex," he pouts.

"Boy please!" you exclaim. "If I sent you flowers every time you rock my world, there would be no flowers left in the state of Ohio, or even in the whole damn tri-state area."

He considers this for a bit before laughing along with you. "That's true," he concedes.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Sunday, 10/15/23 - Paycor Stadium, Cincinnati, Ohio (just after the 17-13 win against the Seahawks)

You lean against the wall in the roped-off area of the tunnel designated for family of the players, chewing your lip as anxious thoughts scroll through your head -- how bad did he re-tweak his calf, and how pissed will he be at that dismal second half offensive performance? "A win is a win," you mumble to yourself, your pulse picking up when you see Joe striding toward you, the look on his face telling you that even though they managed to pull out the win, he is not happy.

He walks directly up to you and gathers you up in a tight hug, not saying a word out loud but conveying everything with his body language. You press a kiss against his neck then step back so his parents can greet him.

"You played great, Joey!" his mom gushes, giving him a hug as he gives you a 'here we go' look over her shoulder. She continues to praise his performance while he hugs his dad. Joe eventually takes a deep breath and interrupts her. "First half was fine, second half was crap," he grumbles, rolling his eyes when she disagrees with his assessment. "Don't say that," she scolds. "You were great today, start to finish."

Joe locks eyes with you and you speak up. "I think it's okay to admit that the offense wasn't really clicking in the second half." You shrug. "After OBJ went down, the o-line definitely struggled to give Joe a firm pocket, and the play calling got a little conservative because of that." You don't mention the fact that Joe clearly re-tweaked the calf and wasn't moving as well in the second half, but you'll definitely mention it to him later.

Robin raises her eyebrows then nods in agreement as you continue. "The main thing is the defense stepped up, and it was a great team win." You wink at Joe. "A win is a win, right, babe?"

"Right," he agrees, smiling for the first time since he approached y'all. "You wanna go do my post-game presser for me?"

"I think you can handle that," you chuckle, standing on your tiptoes to give him a kiss before he says his good-byes and heads for the locker room.

"You really know how to handle him," Robin states with a smile, not realizing that she's the one who just got handled.

~ ~ ~

You wave goodbye to Joe's parents as they drive off after dropping you back at home, rolling your shoulders to relieve some tension as you walk in the house.

You take a shower and pull on a pair of leggings and a long sleeve t-shirt plus some fuzzy socks, eventually heading downstairs to make some (dairy-free) hot chocolate. You scroll your phone while the hot chocolate simmers, smiling at Joe when he ambles in the door, his expression perking up as he sniffs the air.

"What's that delicious smell?" he asks, greeting you with a tight hug and a kiss.

"Hot chocolate," you grin. "You want some?"

"Hell yeah," he answers, dropping onto a barstool while you pour two large mugs of the rich, steaming beverage.

"I'm gonna have a little shot of chocolate liqueur in mine," you say, glugging a bit of the potent elixir in your mug before wagging the bottle at him. "Want some?"

"Yes, ma'am," he grins. "I'm officially on vacation for the next week." He grimaces as the words leave his mouth. "Well, I do have to go in tomorrow morning for assessment and treatment, but after that I'm on vacation."

"You re-tweaked it," you state, adding some liqueur to his mug before handing it to him. "How bad?"

"Not bad. It'll be fine with some rest." He blows on his drink before taking a sip, making 'mmmm' noises as he takes another sip. "I'll be home before lunch tomorrow."

You take a sip of your drink, your eyes going wide as a thought pops in your head. "I forgot the whipped cream," you grumble, grabbing the can of non-dairy whip out of the fridge and giving it a shake. "Want some?" you ask as you add a substantial mound of creamy whip to your drink. "Oh yeah," he moans, holding his mug closer so you can top his beverage.

Y'all spend the next twenty minutes sharing small talk and sipping your frothy drinks, talking about everything from the upcoming weather to the menu items you're going to order at the Lake Lodge restaurant.

"There's like a dozen things that look delicious," Joe says. "We may have to go more than once."

"I'm down," you chuckle, finishing off your drink before giving him a serious look. "Are you nervous?"

He shrugs. "I mean, if the trout meunière is crap, I'll just order another entree. That one's always hit or miss."

"I meant are you nervous that we're getting secretly married day after tomorrow?" you giggle.

"Oh!" He laughs along with you for a bit before settling down. "I'm not a bit nervous about that. Of all the big decisions I've made in my life, this is the one that I've never second-guessed."

Your toes curl inside your fuzzy socks at the earnest look on his face. "I feel the same way."

"Good." He gives you a smile before draining the last of his drink. "Listen, I wanna thank you for handling my mom when she started busting out the praise after the game."

"You're welcome. It worked like a charm."

"There seems to be no end to your talents," he purrs, giving you a wink. "Speaking of that," he continues as he stands up and grabs both of your mugs, setting them in the sink and running water in them. "Let's go upstairs and get naked. You just reminded me we only have two more days to have super dirty premarital sex."

You raise an eyebrow at him. "Are you saying we'll be having boring sex once we're married?"

"Don't worry, babe." He gives you a filthy grin before dropping a kiss on your lips. "We'll be having super dirty marital sex starting Tuesday."

"We better," you tease. "Because I'll get an annulment if you try to get by with lights-off missionary or some shit once you have me locked down."

"Let's go upstairs and I'll give you a preview of what's coming once you're locked down."

"Yes, sir," you purr, heading for the stairs, a sizzle of anticipation running through you when you look back and see him grabbing the can of whipped cream out of the fridge.

[m2m-author]

The Right Groom

I've been helping my best friend plan his wedding for the last few months. The theme was 'Anyone But You', and at first glance it seemed to be an easy theme, with our powers and all, but the wedding is a month away and we still can't decide the body.

He accepts my call, and a stranger answers.

"Hey, man, what's up?" he says, the voice uncharacteristically chipper for a voice that deep. I immediately recognized that as Nathan, my best friend. 

He spins and fixes his bowtie, the man grinning. "What do you think?" He gives the man's bulge a stroke.

"I don't know," I say. "He's cute, but I'm not sure he's groom material, you know what I mean?"

He sighs, "Yeah, I guess. I really don't know what to do! Steven already chose a body—before you ask, he won't tell me—and he smirked real hard, so I knew he chose someone good."

"Hey, hey, don't worry." Nathan, still in the stranger's body, was looking at me with brows furrowed and eyes shining. "You spot any more possible choices?"

He perks up a bit. "I actually do." He moves out of frame for a second. Even as his best friend, he still won't let me know the way he transforms. Geeze.

The phone moves rapidly for a moment until we reach his bathroom. Nathan has transformed into another stranger. He tries to smile, but only sighs in frustration. "What do you think?"

He flexes his arms and twirls the man's mustache. "I can see it. He's handsome. It's still up to you," I say.

"Come on," he whines, and it's amusing seeing this mature body acting like that. "My mind's been blank for months. I need help."

"Okay. Don't Steven like hairy guys? Maybe you can find someone like that?"

"Wait! Check this out." He starts taking off the suit, revealing the body's furry chest and belly. The body's cock is long, and Steven doesn't shy away from stroking it.

With one hand on the phone, he strokes his chest, closing his eyes and enjoying the warmth of the body. He moans, the body's voice smooth. I grin at him, my hand reaching down to massage my bulge.

"Oh god," he moans, pinching his nipples. "I think I want to fuck him in this body. Or maybe he fucks me."

He lets his mouth hang open, staring at his reflection in appreciation. "Jesus Christ. I wonder who he is in real life."

"I can call you back," I say with a grin.

He smiles sheepishly, the body's pearly white teeth on full display. "Right. Sorry. So this one's definitely in the runner up, right?"

I nod. "Looks pretty good to me. His voice is hot too. You got another body?"

"Yes! Glad you reminded me. I saw this man in the mall a few days ago. I couldn't resist."

He sends me a photo of a bearded man taking a photograph in what seemed to be a bathroom.

"I didn't get to stay for too long," he continues, but the man's hairy, and he got a pretty thick dick. I'd love to ram that dick down Steven's throat." Nathan, still in the hairy man's body, sticks out his tongue and bobs his head up and down.

I laugh. "Maybe that could be your honeymoon body?"

He grins. "Just look at this thing! Even just looking at it makes me want to fuck somebody with it. There were too many people in the mall, but I did pee using that thing. Could barely hold it with his hands."

He sends me a dick pick, and sure enough, it's a monstrous 10-incher, as thick as a beer can.

"Goddamn," I say, breathless. I had a pretty modest cock, but even though I've spent my time in countless dudes with giant cocks, it always made me wonder how they're able to keep to keep that monster hidden.

He stared at the phone for a few more seconds, uncaring, as the hairy man's mouth started drooling. A faint thought of wanting to catch that saliva passes through my mind. He shakes out of his reverie and says, "Wait a minute. Have you found your body? The best man needs to have the best body too!"

"I'm glad you asked."

I have it easier than most people, and I can transform into anyone using only a photograph. Some people need body touch, possession, vials, spells or some other tactic, but I only need a photograph and I can transform into that person instantly. Or at least the person they were when the image was taken.

I move off-screen (mostly because I'm mildly annoyed at Nathan still keeping his tactic a secret) and glance at the photo on my table. The change is instantaneous, and I immediately feel lighter. My head rang for a moment, a drawback for a transformation as quick as that, but years of practice left me fully able to lessen that migraine.

I smile at him in this new body and say, "I saw him online, and I just couldn't resist."

Nathan rolls his eyes with a smile. "Lucky."

I take the time to explore the body once again, enjoying the strange sensations all over my body. One thing people don't mention enough when changing bodies is how literally every single thing changes: your senses, your visions, even the way you perceive things. This body, for example, has excellent health, but slightly blurry eyesight.

I open my shirt, reaching for his pec. His warm skin sends a ripple down my body, and I'm acutely aware of the growing bulge in this body. My other hand has reached his pants, massaging them, through the fabric making me moan harder.

Nathan doesn't say anything, continuing to change bodies as I explore every single inch of this body.

"Hmmm…" I whisper. Even his voice sends tingles down my spine. I massage his big thighs, the fabric of the pants feeling oddly satisfying against his skin. The thought of the real body seeing himself doing this sends a thrill. Sometimes I daydream about pretending to run into him with his own body, trying to seduce him using his own voice. I imagine using his hands to slowly massage his body, kissing the original man's lips using his own. I've already released his cock, stroking it in all its glory. It's veiny, pre-cum making it all shiny. I stroke the guy's cock faster, blood rushing in and making his dick even harder. It pulsates, my knees losing strength as I think of sucking the man's cock using his own mouth. I grip the side of the table as I gasp, closing my eyes as cum shoots up and onto my clothes and on my face.

"Finally got that out of your system?"

I'm still closing my eyes, breathing up and down, relishing the feeling of hot cum on my face. When I open my eyes, I gasp at Nathan.

"I think I found the one."

[whyse7vn]

BEES KNEES -

[ jeon jungkook x reader ]

KOOK ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹ ᰔ

jungkook: i long for our reunion my sweet gum drop >.<

[read 01:27]

jungkook: ok

i’m sorry

y/n: what is wrong with you

jungkook: a lot

y/n: yeah

jungkook: yeah

y/n: ur like so peculiar

jungkook: thanks ^_^

is that a compliment?

y/n: not really

jungkook: oh

y/n: it’s like

how are you real

jungkook: birth

y/n: yeah

jungkook: yeah

y/n: ur such a interesting man

jungkook: thank you baby!!!!

y/n: still not a compliment

jungkook: oh

namjoon just said something about bees knees

do bees have knees?

y/n: couldn’t tell you kook

jungkook: that’s really sad if they don’t

how are the supposed to bend their knees if they have none?

y/n: idk babe

jungkook: give me head please

y/n: oh

jungkook: bee issue really getting to me

y/n: ???

are you saying talking about bees got you horny

jungkook: no

wait

maybe

possibly

idk

y/n: kook

jungkook: i’ll cry

y/n: ur always crying

jungkook: i’m a emotional man

y/n: i know

jungkook: today i cried about bees not having knees

y/n: …

jungkook: tears are falling as i type

y/n: ur a lot to deal with

jungkook: i also cried cuz i thought i didn’t kiss you when i left but then i remembered i did so then i stopped crying

and then i started crying again cuz imagined what would happen if i just got stabbed and died on the spot

and then i cried because i was about to buy a doughnut and imagined i dropped the doughnut on the floor and bugs crawled into it

y/n: did you end up dropping the doughnut?

jungkook: no

y/n: there’s something about you

jungkook: 💓

y/n: no

jungkook: sorry

y/n: it’s ok

jungkook: i’m in hospital right now

y/n: what

jungkook: i’m in hospital

y/n: are you being fr?

jungkook: yeah

y/n: ????????????????????????????

jungkook: namjoon said he thinks i have frostbite in my hands

yoongi said it’s probably rabies

but namjoon said it’s not

so we are here to check if i have frostbite

when i say we i mean me and joon

not yoongi

namjoon told yoongi to stay at the studio

i kinda wish yoongi came with us

namjoon is stressing me out

why is he talking about bees knees that’s just really disrespectful

yoongi wouldn’t do this to me

y/n: yoongi would tell you u have like stage 4 cancer and are gonna die in the next 2 minutes

jungkook: no he wouldn’t

y/n: he would

jungkook: he said i had rabies

y/n: see

close enough

but anyways

ur in the fucking hospital kook???

why didn’t you open with that

jungkook: what are we opening

y/n: what

jungkook: what

y/n: why does namjoon think you have frostbite?

jungkook: idk babe i thought frostbite was a food this whole time

y/n: ??

jungkook: doesn’t frostbite sound so yummy

y/n: no

jungkook: yes i would like a bit of frostbite please >_<

hold the cream

what does that even mean

like wdym hold the cream

9 times out of 10 they are already holding the cream

cuz they were like gonna give it to you

so ur telling someone to do something they are already doing

that’s so stupid

hold the cream

y/n: yeah

jungkook: do you get me babe

y/n: i try

jungkook: that’s really hot

i could go to the bathroom rn

y/n: ok?

go then

do you need to pee?

make sure you tell joon ur going

don’t just walk off ok??

jungkook: i don’t need to pee

y/n: oh ok

jungkook: don’t you want nudes

y/n: don’t you have frostbite

is it painful?????

are you not pain

why are you talking about nudes rn

jungkook: i miss you

y/n: that’s nice baby but like i’m fr are you not in pain???

jungkook: horny pain

y/n: jungkook

jungkook: i’m gonna cry

y/n: stop it

jungkook: uughhhhhhh

(thats me crying btw)

y/n: i hope the frostbite takes you for good

jungkook: where is mr frostbite taking me omg?????????

new york?

i hope it’s new york

i love america

stand for the flag

🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🏈

babe are you standing????

y/n: suddenly i have no legs

jungkook: ohmygod

just like the bees have no knees….

y/n: i thought we didn’t know if they had knees or not

jungkook: stop.

y/n: woah ok?????

jungkook: i’m getting emotional again

y/n: jeon jungkook

jungkook: i’m sorry

i’m really sorry

what did i do?????

i’m sorry

i’ll never do it again

mean it

i promise

IM SORRY OHMYGOF IM SORRY BABE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔💔💔😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😞💔💔💔💔😞😞😞😞😞😞😞💔💔😔😔😔😔😖😖😖😖😖😣😣😣😣☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️😭😭😭😭😭😭😢🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

i’m sorry pls forgive me

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

pls

hello do you forgive me it’s ok if you don’t

if you want me run over rn i’ll make it happen

i’m gone

what do you want my last words to be

should i make my death painful or do you want me to do it quick

i’m sorry

babe i’m sorry

i am i’m really sorry

y/n: i told you to tell namjoon if you were going to walk off

joon is panicking cuz it’s almost ur turn to be seen

go back go joon now jungkook

jungkook: r u mad?

why did you call namjoon joon and me jungkook not kook

or kookie

or babe

or baby

r u mad at me???? be honest

y/n: yes

jungkook: NOOOOOOSOOSOO😭🥺😞😞😞😔😔😔😔🥺😭🥺🥺😞😔😔😔😔💔💔☹️☹️☹️🥺🥺🥺😭😞☹️💔💔💔😢😔🥺🥺😣😣🥲😢🥺🥺🥺🥺😞🥺😔😔☹️😢💔😣😣🥲😢😔😔😞🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😔🥺😔😔😢😢😢😔😔😢😢😢😢😢😢😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😢😢😔☹️☹️☹️☹️🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💔💔💔😣😣🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲😢😢😢☹️☹️🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

felltomy knees inthw legoshop😢

y/n: the lego shop?

jungkook: yeah

you know it???

place you can buy lego

i like lego

have you watched the lego movie?

i love the lego movie

everything is awesomeeeeeee^_^!!!

y/n: we watch the lego movie every friday ofc i know the lego movie are you stupid????

jungkook: do you think i have rabies?

y/n: how tf did you get to a lego store? you were in the hospital not even 5 minutes ago

jungkook: i’m good at travelling

y/n: go back to the hospital

jungkook: ok but do you think i have rabies?

y/n: i think you have a lot more than rabies

jungkook: fuck do you think salmonella’s got me too?

y/n: are you going back to the hospital yes or no?

jungkook: yes

but then again jimin said it could be aw tysm

y/n: aw tysm?

what

jungkook: aw tysm

y/n: oh my god

jungkook

fucking autism

you idiot

….

just let out the the biggest sigh known to man btw

wow ur stressing me out

jungkook: r u mad at me??

y/n: how far away are you from the hospital?

jungkook: yes

y/n: wdym yes?

jungkook:

??

y/n: you just

jungkook: just one day

one night

pls stay with me

LOL

did you think i was namjoon

did you???

right then when i said that

did you think i was kim namjoon

y/n: you just leave me in like a state of shock after every conversation

ur not real

jungkook: babe u think namjoon wears a bra??

y/n: LMAOSODDKKDDK

WHATSYSYYSSHDJDND

WHATSHDJDJDJKXKDJFJF

WHAT IS WRIong WITHYOU sizyhshsndjdjfmdcksjsckcm

jungkook: are you having like an allergic reaction or something????

can you answer my question please baby oh i’m curious yeah shinee core 🥺

y/n: wow ur so insane i do i love you

jungkook: rizzzzzzzzzzzz 😝

y/n: ok stop taking to me now

jungkook: ofc i’m sorry have a good day babe 🫶🏻

—

silly little autism joke in there but it’s ok cuz i’m autistic so fuck you don’t shoot me ok? ok

this is just to hold you guys over until i get my shit together and because if i didn’t post this now would of sat rotting in my drafts forever

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @k4ngelz @jmnscutie @sopebubbles-replies

[cupid-styles]

not the same anon but what about smut where ymls yn has to beg for it like she's trying to drop hints and get him to have sex with her without it seeming like she really wants but he's not budging until she's all desperate and begging him to fuck her

wait I LOVE this!!!!! ((this is not proofread so apologies for any typos))

content warnings: smut (dirty talk, squirting, use of a toy), pregnant y/n

ymls masterlist

main masterlist | talk to me

. . .

At this point, Y/N thinks she could wear a sign that says "please fuck me" and Harry wouldn't budge.

She's a month or so out from her due date — her stomach is bulging with their growing baby and doing the smallest tasks is a hardship. From tying her shoes to taking a bath, Harry insists on helping her with everything, but only because she's too stubborn to ask for his assistance. She's even on maternity leave from her job now, so she just putzes around Harry's apartment during the day, watching TV and getting up to pee every 10 minutes because the baby keeps pressing on her bladder.

Given everything she's dealing with right now, she thinks the least Harry could do is stick his cock in her and fuck her dumb.

But of course, he's him. And he's worried about the baby, he's worried about Y/N, and having sex with her is the last thing on his mind. She's done everything she can think of: Last week, she had a sexy lingerie set on when he came home from work, but he just told her she looked beautiful. A few days ago, she asked him to take a bath with her, but instead he just sat at the side and helped her wash her hair.

And tonight, as they lay in bed, she knows Harry is pretending to be asleep while she lays on her back, cradling her bump. She moves her leg and nudges him with her foot, only to met with silence.

She does it three more times and hisses his name before he finally turns onto his side to face her.

"'s a matter?" he asks groggily.

"Can you just fuck me please?" she blurts out, an annoyed edge to her voice.

"It's not safe," he mumbles as he reaches out to stroke his fingertips over her thigh. "Trust me, I wish I could."

"I looked it up. If we do it doggy style, it's fine."

"Romantic."

Y/N rolls her eyes, "Please? You know I hate begging."

"That's true."

She sighs in frustration and he chuckles, rolling back over to fumble through the nightstand on his side. She can't quite see what he's doing in the dark, but a moment later, he closes the drawer and gets up on his knees, parting her thighs to sit between them.

"I'm not gonna fuck you. I would never be able to forgive myself if something happened," he says softly, reaching up to brush over her bump, "But I did get something for you for when you got this far along in the pregnancy."

She quirks a brow and he grabs the item he pulled out from his nightstand. In his hand, there's a silicone sex toy. She's seen similar ones before — it's long and curved at the end, designed to stimulate her g-spot, but it vibrates, too.

"I can use this on you if you'd like."

"Yes," she blurts out without a second thought, "Yes. Please."

He chuckles and leans down carefully, pressing their lips together. The kiss is slow and hesitant, despite Y/N wishing nothing more than for him to manhandle the way she knows he can. He's unhurried in his movements as he breaks their kiss, pushing his lips over her neck and down to her chest, stomach, and finally, her mound.

He's clearly not in the mood to tease, knowing how badly she needs this right now. With gentle fingers, he parts her pussy lips and swallows harshly when he sees how wet she is. He moves his pointer finger up to her engorged clit, rubbing over it lightly.

"Why didn't you tell me you needed me this badly?" he asks teasingly, allowing a gob of saliva to drip down from his mouth and to her clit.

"Shut up," she mutters, holding in a desperate whimper.

He snorts and turns the vibrations on the lowest setting. Softly, he places the toy up against her clit, allowing the sensations to stimulate the spot she needs most. Immediately, a moan breaks free from her throat, her head falling back against the plushy pillow.

"That feel good?"

She muffles out an affirmative sound and he chuckles to himself.

"Can I stretch this pretty pussy out?" he murmurs, glancing up to see her nodding quickly. He hums and pushes the toy inside of her, cursing to himself as he watches her pulsate around the silicone. "There you go, angel girl. Take this fake cock and pretend it's mine, hm?"

She's a moaning, writhing mess above, reaching to grasp the streets for a semblance of grounding. He makes quick work of thrusting the toy in and out of her, making sure to push it far enough to stroke at her g-spot every time.

"That's so fucking good," she whines, "Thank you, thank you!"

"Think I like you better this way," he mocks as he uses two fingertips to brush over her clit, rubbing tight circles into the nerves. "All compliant and subby for me. What do you think?"

"Fuck— s-shut up!"

"Careful," Harry warns, issuing a swift slap to her clit. She whimpers loudly, her back arching slightly given the size of her bump. "Don't be a brat."

"Wanna cum, let me cum— fuck, please, Harry—"

He doubles down on his efforts, pushing the dildo up against her g-spot and moving it deep inside of her.

"Gonna squirt for me, sweetheart?" he says with a teasing tone, "You wanted to cum so bad, didn't you? Show me then, make it worth it. Soak my face."

A silent cry falls from her mouth, tears leaking steadily from the sides of her eyes as she reaches her orgasm. For the first time ever, she does exactly what he asks for, a gush of liquid exploding all over Harry's hands and arms as he works her through it. He groans, cursing from the sight.

"That's it, that's my girl."

Immediately, she's shaking, her hands ducking down to press Harry away from her lower half. He chuckles as he turns the toy off and tosses it off the bed, making a mental note to wash it in the morning. He knows he'll have to change the sheets and clean her up before they actually go to sleep, but the only thing he cares about is giving her face a thousand kisses right now.

[maxillness]

Stranger Danger || FA14 x reader

Warnings: 18+, implied age gap, unprotected sex, bathroom sex, semi-public sex, fingering, orgasm denial

Wordcount: 1k

A/N 1: I know this is the second post in a row with bathroom sex, but there’a just something about it that turns me on 😫

A/N 2: It’s crazy how conversations with people who have a diagnosis can go. My friend with a diagnosis told me to give my teacher a blowjob, now I’m not complaining because he’s attractive as hell, but still, why?

Going into the bar with her friends, she didn’t expect what was gonna happen

Her eyes had lingered on him from the moment he had entered the bar with his friends

Even if she couldn’t my take her eyes off if him, she managed to do so when he would look over in her direction

“Come on, Y/N” Her friend would say beside her “Just go over and talk with him”

“What? No. He’s at least 10 years older than me. He’s probably married” She protested

“You would never know if you never went over there” She explained to her

At the other end of the bar, a similar conversation was happening

“Come on dude, you’ve been staring at her all night. Might as well go over there” His friend said to him as their other friends were having a conversation of their own

“What? She’s at least 10 years younger than me. She probably have a boyfriend already” He said, but wouldn’t take his eyes off her

“You would never know if you didn’t go over there”

“Alright, I’m going over to refill our drinks” Her friend said “Anyone want to go with me, I can’t carry them all” The two other friends agreed to go with her, even though only one other was needed

“Are y’all just gonna leave me?” They just ignored her as they went to refill their drinks “Alright might as well go pee” She said as she stood up and went to the toilet

When she got there, both bathrooms were occupied. She leaned against the wall opposite to the two bathrooms waiting for her turn

Just as she feared, the man she had been staring at the whole night came over as well. She sighed and looked away as he leaned on the wall beside the bathroom doors opposite to her

A minute went by where they didn’t speak to each other, so he decided to speak up

“You’re really pretty” He said which made her look over at him

She didn’t know if it was the alcohol in her system, or if she was blushing, but she could feel her cheeks heating up

“Thank you” She almost chocked on her words as she spoke “You’re not so bad yourself” She said and made him chuckle

A few moments went by where they just started into each other eyes

“Fuck it” She heard him whisper before going over to her and smashed his lips into hers. She didn’t hesitate to kiss back when his hands pushed her hips into the wall

The sound of one of the doors unlocking and closing again, didn’t startle them, it rather gave them idea. Forgetting all about their need to use the bathroom, she was pressed up against the door with his knee between her legs and up against her core

Her hands landed on his waist as she started rolling her hips to get some friction from the material

“Fuck” She moaned into his mouth, which gave him a chance to explore her mouth with his tongue

He pulled his knee away from her which drew out a groan from her, but he was quick to pull her panties to the side and slid a finger through her folds which made her moan out loud

They weren’t too worried about noises when the music was as loud as it was, so nobody would be able to hear them

His lips went to her neck as he slipped a finger into her. He started with a slow pace, but soon added another finger and sped up the pace making her moans and whimpers louder

He could feel her clenching around his fingers in no time, it wasn’t my gonna end that fast

He pulled out his fingers, which made her yet again groan. He put his fingers to his mouth to lick them clean. He kissed her deeply again before quickly bending her over the sink

He zipped down his pants before lifting her skirt above her ass and pulled her panties to the side again. He drew his cock between her wet folds which made them both moan loud

He slowly entered her, letting her adjust to his size “Fucking hell” He groaned as she clenched around him

He started moving slow, but picked up his pace soon after, quickly finding a rhythm. She grabbed the edges of the sink when he started pounding into her

Either of their moans were quiet at this point, and none of them cared enough to be quiet. Her hips were hitting the sink, which was definitely gonna leave marks and give her pain tomorrow, but she couldn’t care less in the moment

“Fuck, you feel so good” He said through his grunting and moaning. If she didn’t want their moment to end, she would have come undone the moment he spoke to her

She could feel him twitch inside her as well as his thrusts were getting sloppier and his hands shaking around her hips

Moments later, she came around him with a loud moan, which sent him over the edge and he came as well

After they had rode out their orgasm, they gathered themselves and fixed their clothing

“Didn’t quiet catch your name” She said as she turned around to look at him

“Fernando” He said with as thick accent

“Y/N” She smiled at him

“Well, nice to meet you miss Y/N” He said as he kissed the back of her hand

“Likewise” She said before they both got out of the bathroom

“Dude, where have you been?” She had gotten back at her table

“I was in the bathroom” She said as she sat down beside her friend

“For an hour?” Her other friend asked

“Stomach issues” She shrugged before looking over at Fernando in the other end of the bar seeing him having a conversation with his friend

[wnobin]

NO BUNNY BUT YOU! 🐰

petsitter! wonbin x fem! reader

series synopsis: your friends refuse to look after your bunnies, tokki and dokki, while you’re on an overseas programme for a week. luckily, winter knows the right person for the job.

series masterlist

part eight: dropping out

since the last date, you and wonbin already had another one planned. this time, he was planning to bring you to a cafe on campus near the dorms after he heard that you hadn’t been there before.

“you’ve never been there before? you have to try their strawberry latte! it’s your favourite, right? i’ll bring you next time.” you could hear wonbin’s enthusiasm through the phone, giggling at how excited he sounded to bring you to his favourite place. “how did you know it’s my favourite? stalker.” he simply agreed, not denying the accusation. it was easier than admitting to you that he found out about it through interrogating winter the other day, begging her to tell him about your favourite drink, favourite skincare products and of course, what your type in guys was. “i’ll pick you up after class tomorrow, okay? see you, y/n!”

you were now waiting outside of your classroom for wonbin, who was running a little late. he was supposed to be here 10 minutes ago but you didn’t mind, just excited to see him again. you were busy texting your friends who were teasing you for already going on a second date when you were interrupted by wonbin who ran up to you, panting and carrying a small paper bag. “sorry i’m late, i hope you didn’t wait too long. i had to run back to my dorm and get this!” the bag was filled with a few skincare products and a headband with bunny ears. wonbin remembered how you mentioned your toner and serum running low during one of your late night calls with him and the next morning, he begged winter to tell him what products you used so he could repurchase it for you. your jaw dropped as you looked through the bag, a shy wonbin watching your reactions carefully. you couldn’t help but wrap your arms around his neck and pull him in for a hug, your lips only a few centimetres away from his cheek. “thank you, binnie. you’re the sweetest.” wonbin blushed at the compliment and the proximity, you were so close that he could feel your breathing on his skin. “it’s really no trouble. now let’s go and get some food, hm?”

this time wonbin held onto your hand before you could reach for his first, having more confidence this time compared to your first date. he even had the courage to sit next to you instead of opposite of you, sitting so close that your thighs were touching. you had ordered a strawberry latte for yourself and wonbin had a melon soda and despite him being here multiple times, he still begged you for a sip of your drink. you couldn’t say no to him especially when he asked so nicely and looked at you with those puppy eyes of his. you rolled your eyes playfully, pushing your glass towards him as he took a rather large sip, a quarter of your drink going down. “hey, that’s not a sip!” wonbin giggled, leaning in closer to you as he offered some of his drink to you. he could taste the cherry chapstick you used on the straw. he always used to stare at your lips, wondering what flavour your lip balm was. he made a mental note to buy you more cherry flavoured chapstick when you were running out of yours. he had already bought you gifts and paid for your meals but he couldn’t help himself, he just wanted to see that pretty smile on your face.

now you and wonbin were looking at each other’s camera rolls, you were showing him pictures of tokki and dokki when they were baby bunnies. “tokki has grown so big now… she’s even bigger than she was last month.” wonbin nodded as he showed you little videos he took of the dogs he took care of previously. he even showed you videos of that one time he got pressured by a professor into pet sitting for his parrot while he went for a work trip. “tell me you weren’t teaching a parrot how to say pee pee and poopoo… send me that video, please.” you almost doubled over laughing at the clip of the parrot squawking at wonbin as he desperately tried to teach him to repeat that phrase. “i will, only if you send me that video of dokki peeing on your lap when you tried to teach him how to spin in a circle.”

“deal.”

you both had eyes on each other’s phone screen when the notifications popped up. wonbin realised that you had never saved his number despite talking for a this long when [+82 xxxx xxxx sent you a video] popped up and when he looked at you, he noticed that your eyes were glued to his phone screen, specifically the notification that said [park y/n 💍🐰 sent you a video].

the both of you froze and you turned off your phone screen while wonbin scrambled to swipe away the notification but it was no use, you had already seen it. you didn’t know how to explain why his contact wasn’t saved because you didn’t have a good explanation either. you didn’t have anyone else’s contact saved besides for your parents, karina, winter, giselle and ningning. it just simply slipped your mind to save wonbin’s number since you were so used to seeing his digits that you already had them memorised. you felt so embarrassed, he had saved your name so sweetly and you literally have him in your phone as +82 xxxx xxxx?? you wanted to crawl in a hole and die, and wonbin clearly felt the same, his face turning red as he tried to avoid eye contact with you. that was enough exploring each other’s phones.

you were the first to speak up, offering the last bit of your strawberry latte to wonbin. “do you want the last sip? let’s finish this and we can start heading back, it’s getting dark…” wonbin simply nodded, not making a sound as he quickly finished the drink, more than ready to head back to his dorm and scream into a pillow. he wasn’t sure what he was more embarrassed by— the fact that you saw how he referred to you as his wife through your contact name, or the fact that you didn’t even have his contact saved despite calling almost every night and already going on dates. he knows you didn’t have any bad intentions by not saving his contact but he still felt embarrassed, wanting the ground to swallow him up.

despite the slight awkwardness, wonbin still walked you back to your dorm and made sure you got in safely before he headed to his room, desperate for some alone time so he could properly freak out.

taglist: @istphanie @snowyseungs @nyuoqi @myizhous @jhskluv @babigriin @revehosh @acidwon @fourthirtyone-am @jiaant11 @bimbobunnii @lilacarat @sanctify-mp3 @mmsriza

[taurusgirly]

Sorry, I cannot hear you, I'm kinda busy | 2/2 | max verstappen

･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ

yes the title is based on Telephone :)

summary : when the internets fav pop stars ex-boyfriend cheats on her she decides she needs revenge and a certain f1 driver is more than happy to comply.

warnings: fluff, angst? (if you squint), cursing, mentions of cheating

･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ

･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ

You roll your eyes at the pathetic messages as you put your phone back in your purse, not bothering to respond. You couldn't believe the audacity he has, especially after the pics went out.

You put him out of your mind and continued to dance. The alcohol flowing in your system as the lights flashing around helped drown out the thoughts of him. You came here with a few of your girlfriends and the goal of possibly not leaving alone.

As you continued to dance you would constantly feel a pair of eyes on you. You waved it off because of course people were looking at you, you looked hot as fuck. You then felt the need to pee and when you got to the bathroom you noticed you were tagged in an Instagram post. Normally you wouldn't look but something told you to see what it was.

"what the actual fuck" you murmured out loud as you looked at the post.

It was more pictures of your ex and some girl but taken literally 10 minutes ago, around the same time he was texting you. You decided you were not standing for this and right as you walked out of the bathroom you saw the perfect chance for a little revenge.

There he was, Max Verstappen, your exes favorite formula one racer. You couldn't believe your luck and, even better, he was looking straight at you.

Deciding to play it cool you dance with your girls close to him, hips swaying, slowly getting closer and closer.

Finally when you both lock eyes, you wink at him, slowly walking to the bar, keeping as much eye contact as possible.

He gets the hint and follows you, a slight blush on his checks that you definitely didn’t miss.

“Y/n right?” he softly asks you

“yeah, max right?” a small smile on your face as you look up at him

“yeah..i - uh, heard what happened with what’s-his-face” he says, not cutting eye contact

you don’t say anything just give him a small smile, your hand going toward his arm. His checks go a little pink at the touch but he doesn’t move.

“you know … you're his favorite driver, mine too of course” you keep the eye contact, slightly tilting your head. You can’t help but smile and the growing blush on his face.

“my ex also loved your music, i do too of course” he says with something almost sultry in his tone

You’ve heard about what happened with his ex, everyone had. As the seconds past it’s like you both understood the unspoken words.

You break the silence as you lean closer. “ you wanna dance?”

As soon as the words leave your mouth he's leading you to the dance floor

･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ

Y/nL/n

liked by maxverstappen1, landonoriss, lilymhe, and 2,098,223 others

Y/nL/n met a cute cat and an even cuter boy 🤭

user BESTIE???

user ummmm why does that look like max verstappen????

landonorris I leave you alone for 2 seconds 😐

Y/nL/n 🙃

lilymhe wish that was me

Y/nL/n same :( maxverstappen1 😐 Y/nL/n 😚

user omg omg omg

user bae... who is that man?!?!?!?

Y/nL/n 🤫

user when worlds collide

user UMM THE LAST PIC??

user I KNOWWW user the hands tho....

[dirtybitfic]

so wrong yet so right

matt sturniolo x y/n

Contains- lecture, disciplinary conversation, dirty talk , flirting, humiliation.

( matt is your professor and you've been skipping class so he has you stay after class to talk)

y/n pov ~

I've been seeing this guy on and off for a while but recently he's been persuading me to skip my lectures and I agree every time. Today I told him I have to go to my class due to the fact if I missed today id be dropped from the class and I don't need to deal with that and my parents would be up my ass.

I grabbed my bag and packed up my shit and started my 8 minute drive to campus. Im honestly glad my apartment isn’t far from campus or id be late to every class ever.

I parked and made my way into the building. The halls were quiet since this is a later class and most of the building is used in the morning.

I had my air pods in as I listened to Maria Maria by Santana and the product G&B.

I open the door of my lecture room and make my way down the first two steps choosing to sit further in the back .

I sit down and bring out my computer to type notes during the lecture and wait for the class to fill up.

After about 5 minutes the room was filled to the brim with bored students ready for the day to over since its Friday and everyone just wants to be out at the clubs and parties taking place for st.Patricks day.

im gonna be honest this class is kinda boring I had to take it so I have to suffer through but ... the professor is hot asf so I don't mind being stuck in this room for 2 hours and 15 minutes.

Okay guys today were going to be sharing the stories you've all written throughout this week . professor Sturniolo says as he dims the lights and calls up the first student to read their story.

This is a creative writing class and we’re aloud to write anything we want but I missed the fact we’d be sharing the storys... I find that my best writing is dark romance . It's all I read and it's all that keeps me interested .

There is NO FUCKING WAY i'm reading this shit in front of the class . I guess from the class I missed on Tuesday was when he explained that we’d be sharing them with the class.

After about 10 students we were an hour into class . This is a smaller class probably around 60 people. Im praying to god we don't get through everyone today so I can write up a new story over the weekend that isn't filled with smut and masks and corn mazes like the one I have written this week.

I had to pee when we got to the 30th story so I got up quietly slipping out and rushing to the bathroom.

Call me crazy but every time my eyes drifted to Professor Sturniolo his eyes were already on me . Id like to think i'm delusional but the eye contact we held as he gave me a stern look had me feeling otherwise.

I made my way back to class and sat back down . Im guessing we were on about the 35 story when he said we only had time for about three more after this one.

THANK FUCKING GOD I CAN WRITE A NEW STORY THIS WEEKEND I thought to myself as another guy came up to read his story.

I was in shock after he read his it was a story about an old couple with dementia and the only people they could remember in the end was each other as they died in each others arms listening to their first dance song from their wedding. Im not gonna lie I shed some tears .

I looked back at Professor sturniolo as he called the second to last person up to read . He looked at me with a smirk and I swear I saw his Adams apple bob as if he was chuckling at the fact I was crying from the story that was just read. I quickly wiped my tears and sank into my seat.

After the last story of the class he started talking about how he wants everyone to start a new story and have it ready for next Fridays class .

I want you guys to focus your next stories on a specific feeling . It could be anger, happiness envy... anything you're feeling in the moment . I know I don't usually give prompts but I want you guys to express your feelings and show me through your writing style so I can feel them as well . Portraying feelings is a way to keep your reader interested . Have a good weekend and be safe .

everyone starts packing up and I do as well until ...

Ms y/l/n can you stay for a second we need to talk about some things

I loudly gulp as I look down the stairs where he stands as I nod my head and make my way down to him as the last students filter out.

have a seat ms y/l/n he says motioning to the seat in front of where he stands .

I do and sit quietly waiting for him to speak.

so would you like to tell me why you've missed two weeks of class he asks as he walks to his desk grabbing a few things and putting them in his bag.

I have no good explanation so I make one up hoping he'll believe it.

I was sick the first week and last week I had car troubles and was unable to get transportation here. I say sounding a bit unsure.

did you go to the doctor for a sick note he asks as he walks over to me standing in front of me looking down at me all the sudden making me nervous.

umm no

then I cant except that excuse . As for the car troubles ... uber is an option or the bus he says narrowing his eyes on me .

I mean ... yes but I...

I think your lying to me y/n and I don't appreciate it. Id like to think I make this class fun and you are a good writer what could possibly be worth waisting your talent hmm? he asks as he kneels down in front of the desk so I have to make eye contact with him .

I don't know I whisper as my face gets red and all the sudden the room starts to get hot.

Its a boy isn't it he ask as he tilts his head and narrows his eyes.

what ... I ask looking at him scrunching my eye brows

oh come on y/n your face says it all . I hate to see you skip class for someone who keeps you from having good grades and staying focused

I don't know what your talking about ... like I said I was sick and my car was broken so I say as I look away . How did my face give him that much intell.

okay y/n here's what we're gonna do i'm going to ignore the fact that you are blatantly lying to my face and i'll let these absences slide . But... if you even think of skipping my class again I will drop you and you will have to retake my class next semester... an I understood?

y-yes sir thank you I say as I take a breathe I didn't realize I was holding and look back up at him as he stands above me.

now did you write a story this week even though you were absent?

I want to lie and say no but i'm already on his bad side . I hate to say it but... he looks so hot when he's being stern and slightly irritated. He's only 27 and im 22 which is slightly weird. Most of my professors are old as fuck but it's kind of refreshing to have a young teacher.

Yeah I did I just... I didn't know we’d have to share them in front of the class and its not exactly... something I want to read to 60 people. I say as I avert my eyes to the ground.

Then good thing you'll be reading it to me right now... I know your style of writing I read them on a weekly bases but if you'd come to class on tuesday you would have known you'd have to read it aloud .

y-you want me to read it to you now I ask as I look up at him with raised brows and worry in my eyes.

yes unless you have somewhere to be thats more important . The correct answer would be " no sir ill read it now" his tone was laced with attitude mixed with a degrading flare that had me clenching my thighs.

no sir I have no where to be ill read it now I say with a tinge of attitude .

good girl now grab your computer and come back down here and start reading when your ready

I swallow thickly when he calls me good girl as my thighs squeeze together and my face gets red . It's so wrong to think of my professor in the ways I am but he makes its so hard not too. He looks down at my clenched legs smirking and walking to his desk grabbing his chair and sitting it in front of the desk I am at .

I get up and walk back up to where I left my bag grabbing my computer and bringing it back down . Opening it up and logging in as I find my story in google docs and take a breathe . Ive never had to read what I wrote out loud and I hate it so much . The fact i'm about to read a full on sex scene to my teacher should be illegal but he reads my story's each week so how bad could this be right.

whenever you're ready he says as he leans back in his chair waiting for me to start.

o-okay I say as I look down and start reading .

I was running through the corn field the three boys chasing after me from all sides . I cant tell who's who from the masks but I know if they catch me i'm screwed. Im being smacked and sliced by the sharps thick dried shucks from the corn but I power through trying my best to get away untouched . I decide to take a left and run down a narrow path that had been cut . I hear a low chuckle close by as I look over and I continue running to see the gold mask looking at me as the boy approaches me quickly . You can keep running all you want but we will catch you and you'll pay for what you did I hear a deep voice call from behind me . My breathing accelerated as my legs grow week from the amount of running i've been doing tonight. The path all the sudden opens to a large circle with a cross in the middle where they tie up the scar crows but it seems to be missing but fresh ropes lays over the arm parts. I turn around and all the sudden my body is knocked to the ground by a large hard object tackling me .GET OFF ME I scream as the man who pummeled me to the ground holds me down sitting on my legs so I cant fight back. Should have kept running darling you're in for it now he says as the other two apear behind him. Fuck all of you I spit as they all hover over me . The one holding me down hoists me up and the others grab my arms as they push me back into the cross. The ropes that were hanging are all the sudden around my wrists as they tie me to the cross and my breathing starts to pick up . What the fuck are you doing stop take me down now I say to them as I start to panic. Mmmm no. You knew we'd come for you after you sent Darren to prison and now... you'll pay for your sins the one in the black mask says as he steps close to me and I suck in a breathe . He deserves every single year he’ll be in there and I will never be sorry for it. I say as I try to kick him in the leg but fail when my arms burn form the movement causing me to whine. Easy sweetheart your only going to hurt yourself if you keep doing that the one in the red mask says as he steps up to me . Now are you ready to pay for your sins red masks says . What fucking sins I did what had to be done I bite back.

You see sending him to prison hurt all of us and you're going to repay us . You're going to be our own personal slut . We'll take every part of you until you finally realize what you did was a huge mistake black mask says as he steps up to me grabbing me by the neck . Hell no I scold him . These three boys are crazy and deranged . So dark that it feels like the moon barely even shows when they appear.

Jake mullin , Kade Brooksville and Connor palemess are some of the worst guys you'll ever meet . They are so attractive it hurts to even look at them but they have the worst personality known to man. I knew that they would make me pay for sending their best friend to prison but after Darren killed my brother I went psychotic and tracked down any information I could to put him behind bars but at what cost.

Now they want to use my body in a form of pay back for what I did. I should be angry and disgusted but ... the thought of these three men using me like their own personal toy has me dripping wet and embarrassingly I want them in ways i've never wanted a man in my life .

They each rip off their masks and i'm met with their faces.

Jake with his blue eyes and blond hair with a perfect jawline and juicy lips, Kade with his dark hair , stubble over his sharp jaw and perfect green eyes and last Conner with his hazel eyes and sandy brown hair with a perfect button nose and sharp jaw.

Kade steps in front of me as his hands move to my waist in a tight grip causing me to gasp .Now be a good girl and spread your legs he says deeply as he towers over me . I swallow but do as im told not feeling like putting up a fight and excepting the punishment for my actions. He pulls my shorts down along with my underwear tossing them back to Jake as his right hand moves down to my bare pussy causing me to gasp. mm someones dripping wet he says with a smirk that I wish I could punch off his face . Fuck you I say as I look up at his green eyes that are boring into me . He shoves two fingers inside me and I moan out as he speeds them up and grips my jaw with the other . Look at you such a slut enjoying what i'm doing to you he says as he gets in my face keeping eye contact as I struggle to keep my eyes from rolling back. i'm shaking and moaning as my orgasm washes over me . Kade chuckling in my face as he watches me fall apart .

Connor come behind her and hold her legs up Kade says as he starts unbuckling his belt. My eyes widen as my body is picking up and conners strong veiny arms wrap underneath my thighs holding me up. Kades jeans drop to his ankles as he moves to take his boxers off too. I look down to see his long and thick dick clad with 4 Jacobs ladder piercings making me gulp.

He steps up to me and I meet eyes with him as his glisten with lust and a tinge of devilish intent. He smirks at me and I want to die right here right now. I should be fighting this I should be disgusted but... i've never wanted something so much in my life. This is going to hurt but punishments shouldn't be enjoyable. he says deeply as he slides the tip in causing me to gasp and my face to squeeze in discomfort. So fucking tight he groans as he slides more in and I feel every piercing as he thrusts in all the way and I scream. The pain of the stretch has my hands balling to fists and my eyes to water. He starts pounding into me harshly as my breathing is rapid and my muscles tense the pain hurts so good. Thats it take it all he groans as he gropes my ass and pounds faster hitting my g spot repeatedly . This goes on for god knows how long and I’ve lost count of how many orgasms I’ve had . All I can do is breathe harshly when he finally finishes inside me and pulls out as Conner drops my legs and I hang on the ropes as my legs give out. Mmm I think we should just leave you here like this Kade says as he buttons his jeans and looks at me .My face is covered in tears and spit and I struggle to keep my eyes open from the exhaustion my body is feeling right now .Please don’t I whisper with a raspy voice . He chuckles as he tells the others to untie my wrists and Conner puts my short back on but keeps my underwear shoving them in his back pocket . Kade picks me up throwing me over his shoulder and walks back through the maze to his car throwing me in and driving back to their large mansion .

I take a deep breathe and stare at my computer when I finish reading the story unable to meet his eyes.

I mean y/n I must say you’re an amazing writer . You know how to set a science and really make the reader be able to envision where the story takes place.

Thank you sir I say but I still don’t look at him

When you write these stories do you envision yourself as the girl character he asks in a tone that has my eyes snapping up to meet his

Ummm … I guess yeah

Interesting he says as a smile forms on his face

You could easily be a dark romance author you have a talent for it … I mean these fantasy’s are thoroughly thought through and I think people would enjoy reading something like this. If I have to admit I read a lot of dark romance books myself and your writing reminds me a lot of books I’ve read and enjoyed

I smile at him as my face blushes and he notices as a smirk comes to his face.

Thank you sir I … appreciate that a lot

He stands up from his chair and come behind me as he bends down to be ear level with me.

Now. You better keep that promise about coming to my class from now on . I know you can be a good girl for me okay .

His voice so deep in my ear I feel the vibrations in my head and I accidentally let a whine out when he says good girl again and I hear him chuckle in my ear as he places a hand on my shoulder as he stands up to his full height.

Thank you for staying ms y/l/n . I can’t wait to read your next piece have a good weekend

I grab my computer and smile at him .

You too Mr Sturniolo I say as I rush up the stairs to my bag and rush out of the class room.

God wtf is wrong with me I think as I get back to my apartment and flop down onto my bed .

the way he spoke into my ear .... the heat of his hand on my shoulder... the way he calls me good girl.

the way i'm thinking about my professor right now is not okay and I know that but fuck me I cant stop myself from going to my nightstand and grabbing my vibrator.

Ever since I left that building tonight I couldn't deny the pulsing between my thighs and wetness that pooled when I read my story to him .

I strip and lay down on my bed as my minds ran wild with thoughts of professor Sturniolo .

maybe this will get him out of my head and ill be able to focus from now on.

Matts pov-

Y/n is a great writer but god reading her story each week drives me wild. I know thinking of students sexually is wrong and morally illegal but I cant help myself .

I was pissed off that she skipped two weeks of my class ... yeah obviously because she should be focused on finishing out her senior year with passing grades but also because I love watching her in my classroom as she works on her dirty little stories.

The way she bites her lip in concentration… the little smirk she gets when I know she’s writing a dirty line… the way she clenches her thighs when I call her a good girl

I know she’s my student and I shouldn’t be thinking these things about her but … I pull up her last story in my computer and decide this is the least time I’ll ever jerk off to the thought of her.

I need to clear her out of my head and be professional from now on .

Next class is gonna be different….

Part 2 coming soon 💋

[lvrcpid]

road trip! - modern!au

— something tells me y’all are going to disney

— everyone met up at the sully house at 4:30 am on the DOT

— neytiri threatened to leave lo’ak since he didn’t wake up on time

— jake didn’t feel like taking multiple cars cause he thinks gas prices are insane so he rented a huge caravan to attach to his truck

— he drives a ford F150 btw

— there isn’t really a seating arrangement but trust ronal, neytiri and your mom are in the back sipping wine/juice and gossiping

— your dad sitting in the passenger seat while jake drives and tonowari in the back seat since he called dibs

— alright let’s get into the funny stuff

— not even 10 minutes in and lo’ak is complaining he has to pee

— neytiri tells him “there’s literally a bathroom?”

— he doesn’t want to get up cause him and tsireya are watching the new season of ginny and georgia

— kiri is definitely in a window seat cuddled up watching her shows while tuk is next to her playing adopt me on her ipad

— you got stuck with aonung and neteyam

— they’re just glaring at eachother cause wtf i wanted them to MYSELF!

— rotxo could come this time (YAYYYY)

— but he was knocked out on the couch as soon as they got up there

— jake has the worst road rage

— he stay cussing someone out while tonowari is tryna defuse the situation

— your dad is just listening to sports podcasts

— baseball specifically

— neteyam bugging everyone to play crazy 8

— tuk ate y’all up every single round

— when it FINALLY came time to stop at a gas station, lo’ak was the first to get up

— he came back WITH THE MOST SNACKS

— i’m talking candy, chips. the whole 9 yards

— i’m too lazy to write the snacks everyone got but something tells me the men have hella slim jim wrappers in the truck

— you playing tic tac toe with ao’nung because he was bored and his signal went out

— speaking of signal, there was a point in time everyones signal went out for like an hour and it was pure chaos

— neteyam was probably reading when it happened so he didn’t even care

— a lot of “damn!” when jake swerves around someone

— neytiri calling him upset cause “there’s a pregnant woman and CHILDREN BACK HERE JAKE.”

— tsireya and kiri looking at ears they want to buy to match with the boys

— lo’ak and rotxo looking at them like ??? whatever makes you happy babe

— lo’ak knocked OUT. i’m talking snoring, spit on his shirt

— something tells me he sleeps like he has 4 kids and mortgage to pay for

— you and tsireya made a lot of tiktoks

— i mean a lot

— you , neteyam and aonung decided y’all were gonna be different and wear goofy ears instead

— ronal asks for a time check and only realizes it’s 7 in the morning and y’all have 8 more hours to go.

— cue a conjoined sigh

— tuk made you play those tiktok games with her and you actually had a blast

— tuk is so cool i love her

— i’m gonna stop here cause it’s getting long but if y’all want me to write one where they’re at disney then lmk 🤭

tags 🏷️: @23victoria @avtprint @bucky12345 @boilingpots @Marcswife21 @elegantkidfansoul @itsyogurl @stars4deku @stvpidscvpid @uniltsatirey @urdeadpoet @annamarieisbae @graysonmalik2550 @blueberryfailureclinic @jordan-network

[lakesbian]

Put the Undersiders in a busy airport or train station. How do they handle it? Who gets onto a the wrong flight/train? How many times would Aisha use her power to get into the cockpit or engine room of the train?

oh my GOD how is putting the undersiders in a busy airport or train station not one of the Situations we've put them in yet. this is great. paging @simurghed urgently. everyone please share your undersiders go to busy airport or train station thoughts this is my favorite kind of autism to engage in

brian is like. You know he's being brian about this. you know he's got his schedule printed out and all the tickets pointed out and they're in some little binder and he's making sure he specifically is carrying it the whole time. and the one time lisa casually reminds him to make sure he has xyz necessary item he's like I Have It, Don't Be Neurotic, because his coping mechanism for being nervous and feeling like a woman is questioning his Authority (<- assumed as the main and eternal coping mechanism) is misogyny. love him.

obviously taylor is bringing bugs with her wherever they go and i like to imagine if theyre sitting down in an airport waiting for a really long time and they were in one of the areas where the birds have gotten inside and are nesting + looking for food (that's a universal airport feature right? the birds that got indoors and just live there now?) she might entertain alec and aisha and also herself by flying bugs around 4 the birds and leading them on little hunting excursions and into loops and shit.

aisha takes selfies in the cockpit or engine room (shes posing next to the pilot and making bunny ears behind their head with her fingers) whenever she gets bored and then comes back to show them to alec and brian realizes theres Muffled Laughter happening in their row after aishas been Not There for a while and is like. hmm. that cant be good. and is doing a really bad job of trying to twist himself out of his seat casual-style to find out whats all that then. i can also imagine him insisting on seating himself next to aisha

...three seat plane rows. brian sitting in the middle of aisha and alec and having a wretched time. taylor rachel and lisa lezzing it up in the row in front of them.

i think alec would really enjoy take-off on a plane because Wheee he's all floaty :) and then spend the next however many hours experiencing boredom-induced ego death. possible activities include: fiddling around on his ds. making a little teenager-typical 2011-era flipaclip animation. accidentally falling asleep on brian's arm and starting to snore and drool while aisha is doing the same thing on his other arm. watching a bad movie on his little in-flight tv screen and hopefully trying to engage both brian and aisha in conversation about it because he wants to have friends.

okay i diverged from the point of air Port or train Station sorry. ive never been in a real train station so i have less to speak for there but i think it would be fun to watch the undersiders get crotchety with each other in a long line for overpriced airport food.

imagine if you will brian and taylor trying to fit comfortably in a Nappable Position in the chairs in the flight waiting area. leg cramp city

i think this would all probably be very stressful for rachel :( maybe she andt aylor should hold hands about it. to be safe.

i want to see how lisa tries to make waiting in an airport an enriching and fulfilling activity for taylor so bad. honestly it would probably be no matter what. real bonding experience.

brian laborn tries to carry 9 suitcases at once: and other fun adventures in toxic masculinity

alec vasil has to go pee, right now, for approximately 10-15 minutes, when he's asked to find something in a heavy bag: and other fun adventures in shirking responsibility

aisha laborn's mysterious magical snack manifestation: and other fun adventures in robbing the airport

you know if they were at a busy train station brian would do that thing where he ushers the undersiders around physically and it is fully an indicator of his psychological issues but also it'd be cute. it'd be cute to watch him blocking the crowd so everyone else could move more comfortably and use his Height Advantage to guide everyone most efficiently by pressing on their backs. his psychological issues are endearing

people keep asking about How Much Longer Until Boarding and lisa starts getting bored and providing real-time updates of the Precise amount of time left. if theres a delay she reads out why too

???

its nice. to imagine if they could have a fun time going to locations.

[saintescuderia]

welcome to the mini series of the random, mindless thoughts had by a poet disguised in an orange jumpsuit watching cars speed by all weekend. enjoy!

--- note: 5am starts, 7pm finishes. all four days. gotta love formula 1!

thursday: media day!

i want the ferrari jacket

there are school kids here?

i don’t want the ferrari jacket

$7 for a small can of red bull is THEFT

especially since they broke the cost cap

me walking through the “accredited personnel” gate and tapping my special lanyard is a CORE memory

i think my uber driver dropped me off on the opposite side of the track

*stressing about being unable to admire the sights of albert park bc i’m stress-running from the opposite end of the track to my station*

pls don’t be a dick and say i’m late - i know

how is a 5am wake up not early enough HOW?

“last year i was stationed at the corner where charles spun out.”

sole thought = 💀💀💀💀

i. fucking. love. cars.

the whole SENSORY experience of a race ffffffffffffuuuuuck

“be careful taking pictures because that security camera is on us and is straight to race control and the FIA.” is such a cool sentence to hear

a porsche gtr should not be covered with branding idc

i’m definitely going to abuse caffeine this weekend

friday: FP1 / FP2

the sun is rising over the lake as i walk on the albert park track and i’m happy to be alive

especially as i found a toilet that isn’t a port-a-loo

ah, a cafe that does good decent coffee thank GOD

am i going to pay $10 for a croissant?

i'm going to pay $10 for a croissant.

i lived in paris but this one fresh lune choc croissant has topped it all

no like there will never be another croissant experience to beat me eating a fresh pain au chocolat on a f1 circuit as the sun rises over the water with the melbourne skyline in the background

aramco engineers are walking behind me as i shit talk about f1, nice

“it is an increasingly unique experience peeing in a port-a-loo beside a formula one track as cars race by.”

120’000 is a LOT of people

how has the float not broken yet?

metro boomin has released an album as i stand before live formula one. life has PEAKED

fernando alonso is the first F1 driver i ever saw live

there is a shift in formula one as the heritage fans of motor racing are on the out as the next generation of fans absorbed in driver hype and social media takes over and we see this in how F1 has created the new US tracks and made them all into spectacles and fans are here because of it being “cool” instead of caring about cars

… maybe i should buy the redbull jacket instead?

bonus: sole thought during the pitlane walk for the marshals

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

saturday: FP3 / qualifying

the relief of thinking you’re late and then seeing someone you know HA

commentators are now contractually obligated to bring up saudi arabia every time they talk about ollie bearman

jesus they’re as bad as the f1 girlies

i have to watch the grand prix replay after all of this i have no idea what’s actually going on

CHARLES GOES FASTER THAN MAX HA

kimi spinning out has me actively wanting to cry

a safety car FROM THE PIT EXIT

welcome to F2 everyone 👏👏👏

not me lying to the cute irish guy hitting on me about @saintescuderia

a big fat ha at the eshays holding their puffer jackets - even they can’t stand the heat

don’t flex on me that you’re here at F1 when you don’t even know what’s going on yourself bruhhhh

to the red bull fan telling me i’m “dramatic” for rolling under the fence (it’s how marshals have to do it) pls get help

$7 for a calispo is a JOKE

recording F1 quali isn’t even worth it bc they're TOO FAST

JOKES I GOT A PHOTO WITH ALBONO

i’m very lucky for my team of marshals :))))))))))

i’m only going to eat half my muffin

*finishes the whole thing*

sunday: race!

KIMI ANTONELLI!

do i ask for a photo?

*every photo of charles leclerc being abused flashes through my mind*

nah leave him be

five minutes later: i regret not asking him

the group of aussies dressed as lance stroll drunk at 9am have my heart and my respect

i need a coffee

seeing kimi walk right by me has now made so much invested for f2

i really need a coffee

yep they screwed kimi with all those safety cars

i really, really need a coffee

we get to go ON TRACK? for the DRIVERS PARADE

*starts practicing “get well soon” in spanish*

my heart is BEATING

lol jokes carlos didn’t even look at us

*checks footage to see that i accidentally just recorded guanyu zhou next to carlos the whole time :))))*

lol are they putting lewis and charles together all the time?

every marshal: “that was the shittest parade ever.”

i need a drink

pls don’t talk to me for the next two hours

don't meet your heroes kids

but also why the fuck did they do the float in one big car? and do INTERVIEWS? this is legit the one time the drivers can be there JUST for the FANS

F1 can PISS OFF

race start = okay it's happening

waitwaitwaitwaitWAITDIDIJUSTSEECARLOSOVERTAKEMAX?!

nevermind i love him

"race control has asked that you calm down, marshals are supposed to be neutral."

lol at the entirety of albert cheering that max is slowly coming to a DNF

mclaren swapping oscar for lando is DISGUSTING fuck zak brown

somehow, i've forgotten that charles is just there

SEND IT CARLOS VAmos

(this is all because i told you que te mejores pronto!)

daniel ricciardo....man..... aus gp can't market you like this.......

damn yuki got HANDS

ferrari and mclaren having the top 4 places is just *chefs kiss*

lewis just had to stall just pass my sector like i hope ur okay but couldn't u not be ok in front of me?

red bull deserves this after all the FLACK i've copped from red bulls fans ("dramatic" MY ASS)

wait george russell ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

singapore all over again. i can already see the memes.

somehow marshalling a gp has you closer and more removed from the whole thing i have no idea what's going on

(literally the only time i used my F1TV live timing)

finishing after the safety car means i can't stick my head out and clap for carlos FUCK OFF

wait, he came up right UP TO MY SIDE OF THE TRACK TO WAVE

... do you think he noticed me?

[rorywritesjunk]

Let’s be one another’s present tense

Buggy ‘rescues’ you from an abusive situation, and after a less than stellar introduction, he has you audition for his crew to keep you safe. You want safety, security, and joining a circus seems like the best idea.

Rating: This chapter is NC-17. They finally do it.

Warning: Swearing, sex, Cupcake is chatty and prolly a little bratty. Buggy is a worried boyfriend. Lots of talking during sex but its their first time together and I had a feeling it would happen tbh. Communication is key.

A/N: It starts. I aint a pro at writing porn.

Title comes from “Crater Lake” by Lady Lamb

Chapter 1 + Chapter 2 + Chapter 3 + Chapter 4 + Chapter 5 + Chapter 6 + Chapter 7 + Chapter 8 + Chapter 9 (NC-17) + Chapter 10 + Chapter 11 + Chapter 12 + Chapter 13 TAGLIST: @lostfirefly @neuvilleteismybby @fluffybunnyu @sinning-23 @the-angriest-angel @ane5e @fanshavegottensotoxic @honey-deerling

Chapter 9

Morning came with Buggy practically on top of you as he slept, arms wrapped around you with your legs tangled together. You were waking up, trying to stretch your muscles, but it was difficult with your current position. Your head felt a little tender but the bandage managed to stay on. Sighing, you tried to wriggle away from him but he just tightened his hold on you. 

“Buggy, babe, I gotta pee.” You told him as you tried to shake him awake. “Lemme go.”

“Few more minutes.” He mumbled against your neck where he was currently nestled against. You rolled your eyes and managed to reach his ass, giving him a pinch which seemed to shock him awake. You took the chance to get out of bed to get to the toilet to have a few minutes of privacy. After washing your hands, you sighed when you saw the water splashed onto your shirt. You didn’t want to go back to bed with that on so you stripped the shirt off.

Once you were done, you checked the bandage before going back to the bedroom and crawling back into bed, snuggling up against him as he continued dozing. His arms went back around you and he pulled you against him, never bothering to open his eyes.

“How's your head?” He asked as he tucked his face back against your neck as your fingers slid up and down his bare arm slowly. “Do you feel okay today?”

“Mm, I feel fine. It's a little tender but I'm okay.” You told him as you closed your eyes. “I just wanna sleep for the rest of the day.”

“Don't see why not.” Buggy sighed as he tilted his head enough to start peppering kisses along your neck. “I'll keep you company. Call it a day off for both of us.” He opened one eye and looked you over. “Where’s your shirt?”

“Yea, but there’s um, I got things to do.” You murmured as his hand moved between your legs. “Like… things. Laundry. My shirt got wet in the bathroom, so I should get out of bed and start working on laundry.”

“The captain orders you to stay in bed.” Was his response as his fingers slid over the crotch of your underwear, teasing you and causing you to gasp. “This okay?”

You could only nod, a moan escaping you as he pushed your panties aside, dipping into your folds as he sucked a spot on your neck. You spread your legs for him, eyes closed as he touched you. He mumbled something against your skin before ripping your underwear off, tossing them aside before shifting positions and settling himself between your legs. He moved your legs over his shoulders, resting them there as he dragged his tongue over your slit, looking up at you. 

It took you a moment to register what was happening. One moment he was kissing your neck and now he was down between your legs, smirking up at you as he held your legs apart, tongue swirling around your clit before dragging over your entrance. It was almost too much for a moment, the sensation, and you had only ever had one partner before this and that was years ago, one time with the neighbor’s son when you both were 19, and it was dumb and uncomfortable and you didn’t think you’d want to try it again unless it was the right partner. 

And currently your partner was using his Devil Fruit powers on you.

While he stayed between your legs, arms holding your legs apart for him, his hands were on your breasts, kneading them, pinching and rolling your nipples between his thumbs and pointer fingers. You were gripping the bed sheets in your hands, moaning and whimpering for him as he sucked on your clit. 

And Buggy wanted this to be perfect for you, your first time with him. He held off for months, wanting you to feel safe and comfortable with him, only ever kissing you and holding you. Last night would have been it had the two of you not been interrupted, so this morning seemed like the best time. No one would dare wake the captain up unless it was serious.

One of his hands left your breast, moving down between your legs as Buggy pulled back for a moment. You lifted your head to look at him, confusion on your face, and before you could ask what was wrong, he pressed a finger into you as he watched you for a reaction, making sure you were okay. Your head fell back against the pillows as you sighed loudly. 

“Fuck, Buggy, don’t stop like that.” You managed to say as you reached down, placing your hand on his head and pushing down gently. “Please don’t stop.”

“Mm, don’t tell the captain what to do.” He retorted, finger pumping into you slowly. “D’you want me to actually fuck you, Cupcake?”

“Yes, asshole, obviously!” You whined. “I wanted you to fuck me last night!”

“I wasn’t going to do it when I was upset!” Buggy told you as he pushed in a second finger. “I want this to be romantic and… and great for you, okay? I don’t want to hurt you!”

You threaded your fingers through his hair, tugging on his hair gently as his fingers curled, brushing over your g-spot. While you appreciated him being thoughtful, you wanted him to fuck you into the mattress. You weren’t as fragile as he seemed to think you were. You were about to tell him, let him know you wanted him to actually fold you in half and get with it already, when his mouth was back on your clit as he fingered you. You were moaning for him, pushing on the back of his head as he kept his attention on your clit. 

He wanted to ask if you were okay but you were pushing down on his head, not wanting him to stop just yet, and he decided to add a third finger. Your juices were coating his fingers, he could feel you clench, your breathing hitched and he gave your clit a final suck which had you cumming, gripping his hair and pulling his hair as you cried out for him. 

“Ya still want me to fuck you?” He asked, smirking up at you from between your legs, the makeup on his face more smudged than before and his chin and lips coated in your juices. You nodded, pulling on his hair again, but he managed to get you to let go, grabbing both of your wrists and pinning them above your head as he sat up and stripped off his pants. He spat into his hand, giving himself a few strokes before pressing the tip against you and pushing his hips forward. 

He released your wrists and you reached for him, pulling him down on top of you as you kissed him. He put one hand on your hip while the other rested on the bed as he pressed in all the way, bottoming out before giving you a moment to adjust. He could feel you tense up, the hitch in your breathing at the sudden fullness. He stilled, rubbing your hip slowly as he kissed you, waiting for you to give him the go ahead. 

“You good, Cupcake?” He asked, breaking the kiss as he studied your face. You nodded after a moment, rocking your hips against his. “Use your words.”

“‘m fine, Buggy.” You mumbled, nails digging into his back. “Please fuck me now.”

“You'll tell me if it's too much, right?” 

You nodded first but when he didn't move you sighed. ‘Y-Yea, I'll tell you.”

“Good.” He murmured as he began to move his hips slowly, wanting to make sure you were okay at first. You knew he was afraid of hurting you, and you appreciated he was taking it slow, but you had little patience. He hesitated for just a moment before he started to pick up the pace, moaning when your muscles clenched around him as your nails scratched along his back. He grabbed your hands, once more pinning them above your head.

You gasped when he did that, feeling his hand tighten around your wrists as he angled his hips. Moaning, crying, whimpering, those were the sounds that escaped you as he started fucking you harder. He kept his eyes on your face, looking for any signs of discomfort, but you had shut your eyes, mouth open as you panted softly. When his cock hit that sweet spot, your eyes shot open and you cried out for him.

“Ah, fuck, Buggy! More!” 

He just nodded, feeling his heart skip a beat when you cried his name like that. His lips crashed against yours as his hips slammed into his at an almost bruising pace. He wasn't going to last long, hearing the sounds you were making or how you felt around him. It wasn't until he let go of your wrists, his hand moving between your bodies to touch your clit that you came undone after just a few touches of his fingers. He followed after, swearing and moaning your name as he came, sinking into you as he dropped on top of you.

You grunted at the weight of his body on top of yours. “Um, you okay?”

He just nodded as he pulled out of you. “Uh, yea, fine. Just fine.”

“You sure?” You pulled him back down beside you, kissing him on the forehead as his arms went around you. He just nodded. “Okay, now can I really have the day off if I spend it in bed with you?”

“Of course.” He mumbled as he pressed his lips to your neck and throat. “Captain's orders.”

~

The only time the two of you left the bedroom was to get breakfast and lunch, other than that Buggy kept you naked in bed with him while he explored your body. When he needed time to recharge in between sessions, he would be using his hands and mouth to have you screaming his name for him. 

It went on for a while until you were finally tapping out, literally tapping him on the shoulders with both hands as he had you cumming on his tongue for what you were certain was the millionth time since lunch.

“Break, I need a break, Buggy!” You panted out. “Too, um, too much.”

He pulled back, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “You okay? Did I hurt you?”

“No, fuck, just need a break.” You told him as you stretched out on the bed. “Fuck, aren't you tired? Your tongue isn't cramping?”

He shrugged as he moved to lay down beside you, wrapping his arms around you as he pulled you against him. You sighed and leaned into him, pressing your face into his neck as you closed your eyes. 

“I dunno if my legs work.” You mumbled as his fingers slid down your back slowly. “I'm going to be walkin’ bow legged for a few days.”

Buggy shrugged, resting his hand in the middle of your back. “Was it too much?”

“No.” You said as you reached up to play with his hair. “You don't have to worry, babe. I'm not going to break if you're a little too rough.”

“I'd never be rough with you.” He frowned. “Why would I be?”

“I'm not saying you would be, I'm just saying don't treat me like I'm going to break.” You told him. “Babe, I trust you, okay?”

“I know, but-”

You leaned up to kiss him, cutting him off before you sat up. “I'm just saying that… for example, I liked it when you held my wrists, y’know? And I'm glad you check in with me, but I'm not going to shatter if like, you fuck me a little too hard.”

Buggy nodded though he had a frown on his face. The thought of causing you any amount of pain, intentional or not, didn't sit well with him. He was glad you trusted him enough to say that but he was hesitant. He didn't want to put you through anything you might regret. 

You touched his cheek, caressing softly before you kissed him again. “I trust you, Buggy.”

“I trust you too, Cupcake.” He murmured as he turned his head to kiss your palm softly. “I'm not going to hurt you.”

You sighed softly and smiled. “I know you aren't, babe.”