#you know what let them be a little camp!!! they had shitty lives they deserve a bit of fun with their clothes

[elusiveweekend]

my friend and i were talking about our own xmen movie lineups and we talked about a solo scottemma movie after dark phoenix set right before astonishing and i cant think of anything else atm cause. 1) it would be about scott, grief and transition to leader of mutantkind™ 2) it would be about emma and self-forgiveness 3) it'd be 2 hours of them running around some villain while trying to label their relationship after the affair 4) they're gonna put on these hippie costumes at some point in the plot 5) its gonna be funny as hell (imagine the marketing) 6) HIPPIE COSTUMES

[dyns33]

Fucking fate - part 2

Vaas x soulmate reader are back 

Y/N had been living in a pirate camp on Rook Island with her psycho soulmate for two months when a group of natives attacked and some hostages offered her to come with them, taking advantage of the panic to escape.

They knew who she was, but they considered that it wasn't her fault, that she was unlucky, and that she deserved to be free.

Two months was not enough to develop Stockholm Syndrome, as Y/N agreed to follow them almost immediately.

It was only later, after several days in the jungle and when they had found a boat, that she hesitated.

On the way, they had heard some conversations, hidden in the bushes. The pirates were terribly talkative.

     "Did you hear what happened at the central camp ?"

     "Yeah. Fucking rakyats. Francisco is dead. He was selling the best shit, too bad."

     "I was thinking more of Vaas' mate. She disappeared."

     "He must not be happy."

     "Not happy ? He was already mad, but now he completely lost his mind. He killed all the hostages, and the guards who survived the attack. He ordered that they searched everywhere for her, and as long as he doesnt have any news, he goes around in circles in the camp, hitting those who are not looking."

     "He knows she's already dead, right ? The jungle must have eaten her."

     "I know. But it's his mate, man. Shit, he needs hope. When we find the body, he's going to be impossible. Whoever brings the news will probably be hanged. If he just doesn't burn the whole island."

Y/N tried not to think about it as the others got the boat ready to go home. It wasn't her problem what would happen here after she left. She had been kidnapped, she had seen people being tortured and killed, and she deserved to return to a normal life.

Even if it meant rejecting her soulmate.

Except that while he wasn't perfect, not perfect at all, Vaas wasn't that terrible.

It was weird to say, because he was crazy. He was dangerous. He was doing the worst things in the world. And yet, with her, Vaas could be adorable. A tiger that was turning into a little cat, purring against her.

He hadn't hit her, not once. He was even upset when she was afraid of him. He also didn't shout, whereas Vaas shouted a lot at others. He always asked her if she was ok with doing something. Yes, he naturally made it sound like it was a bad idea to tell him no, but Y/N had told him no several times anyway, and Vaas had simply nodded, accepting the answer without further ado.

     "You know, mi corazon. You're the best thing that ever happened to me." he had said one evening, while cuddling her in bed. "It's true. I had a shitty life. A shitty family, a shitty sister. A shitty job. Yeah, I like having fun with people, but it's still shitty. I'm drinking, being high and kicking idiots every day. Even my beloved island has become bland over time, controlled by an asshole and populated by tattooed morons. Then you came, mi amor, mi vida. I waited for you my whole life. I'm so happy."

He sounded so sincere that Y/N couldn't not believe him. He had told her what her sister had done to him.

When he had been pissed off that she was talking to his men, not liking her getting out of his crip, she had used it against him, quite deceitfully.

     "You or them, right, Vaas ? Right ? You or them ?!"

He had looked at her. He understood very well what she meant. He had wondered if he was becoming like his sister, if he was doing to her what she had done to him. So he hit a wall, smashing his hand, before leaving. The pirates, frightened, had avoided him.

Y/N felt bad. She had followed him, she had apologized, taking his bloody hand, trying to hug him, to kiss him, to bring him back because he seemed very far away. He let her do what she wanted, listening to her excuses, then following her back to camp without saying anything, like a child.

To cheer him up, she had cooked, she had put on his favorite movie, she had put on some music and invited him to dance with her, and after a long time, he had sighed, with a tired smile, accepting to join her, laughing together.

Her soulmate wasn't perfect. He had a lot of problems, and it was impossible for him to change, since the situation on the island wouldn't change either. But above all he was a broken man, alone, lost, who needed her.

Most of the little moments they had spent together were happy.

Maybe two months was enough to develop Stockholm Syndrome after all.

Several voices were heard behind her, as Y/N ran along the beach, then through the jungle, looking for the nearest pirate camp. It wasn't easy, as he often said Vaas's men were a bit stupid, but she approached with her hands up, saying she was his mate.

Since they had all heard of the attack, they were very careful with her, calling their leader right away.

When she arrived at the central camp, Y/N noticed two things. 

The place was in a terrible state, and no one had started the repairs, probably too busy looking for her, not to be killed.

And Vaas didn't seem happy to see her.

He said nothing, his eyes blank, simply thanking his men for bringing her back. Then he ordered Carlos to take her to his room, bringing her something to eat, before going to fetch the doctor to check that she was not injured.

For several days, he seemed to avoid her like the plague. It was hurtful. Y/N could have left, she might already be in her country, with her loved ones, but no, she had chosen him, and that was how he thanked her.

She tried to talk to him, but it was a disaster.

     "If you're not happy here, you didn't have to come back, nena." he hissed, playing with his gun. "You could go see my sister. Find a cabin near the beach. Swim to shore."

     "I'm just saying you act like a fool."

     "Oh, a fool ? Me ? That's probably true. I was stupid enough to think everything was fine, but one day, poof, you have the opportunity to leave, and you leave. You leave ! You leave me !"

     "But I came back !" she cried, starting to get scared, because it was the first time he had raised his voice with her.

     "She came back ! She came back ! Great ! Welcome back, hermosa ! I have work to do now, leave me the fuck alone !"

It was too much. Y/N went crying with rage in a corner of the camp, far from everyone, while Vaas continued to shout at his men. Maybe she should have left. Maybe she still could.

Pushing a crate against the wall, she jumped over it, walking quietly away from the camp to the beach, where she sat down to think. Could she really swim to shore ? Vaas had probably said that in jest, he had warned her about the sharks. Maybe he wanted her to be eaten. He didn't really seem to care.

     "I found her, jefe !"

Or not.

Y/N recognized the voice of Carlos, Vaas' right-hand man. There were several footsteps, then mumbles, and finally a single person who came to sit next to her.

     "Nena, come back to camp. You scared us, that's not nice."

     "I'm staying here. You don't want me on your side anyway."

     "Mi corazon..." he sighed. "You know very well why I am angry."

     "No, I don't know. I mean, yes I left. It was chaos, and I didn't want to die. But I came back, you should be happy."

     "But you had no choice, right amor ? I guess your friends died, or you lost them in the jungle, and you thought 'Damn, what do I do now ? Oh, I know, I'm going to go back to Vaas, that idiot Vaas. He adores me, he never refuses me anything, he's my bitch, he can't live without me, he's going to take me back.' And of course I'll take you back, because I'm really an idiot, and I love you more than anything hermosa, but it hurts. It really hurts, shit."

After that, Y/N finally stopped sobbing, continuing to watch the ocean. He was stupid and angry, but not for the reasons they both thought.

     "The others took a boat."

     "... What ?"

     "We found a boat. I left before they started it, but I guess they're home now. Or drowned. I don't know. But they were fine when I left. When I decided to leave. To return to the camp."

To return with you. Because I wanted to.

Vaas stared at her for a long time, before rubbing his face and then his skull, visibly embarrassed.

     "Damn, nena... I'm an asshole."

     "Yes."

     "You came back... Shit. You're as stupid as me."

     "Excuse me ?" she was indignant, finally looking at him, annoyed.

     "I thought you had no choice, but you chose me. Me ! Me, and this shitty island, and this shitty life, when you could have left, been safe, happy, found a good guy, and have a great life. I would have understood. But no, me ? Shit. I'm super happy right now. I feel like my heart is going to explode. Can I kiss you ?"

     "Go to hell."

     "Come back to camp with me, tesoro." he whispered in her ear, his eyes sparkling, his hands hugging her tightly. "I was an asshole, sorry."

Vaas was not perfect. He knew it and he knew that she knew it. Even though he did his best to make her feel good and have everything she wanted, he understood why she had disappearred, he would have understood if she had left the island, and he couldn't imagine that she came back of her own free will.

     "You're as crazy as me, aren't you nena ? Mi nena. Mi mejor mitadn mi media naranja."

     "Fine, we're going home." she muttered, feeling a little too hot between the sun and Vaas kissing her again and again on the neck while purring words of love in Spanish.

No doubt he was right, and she was just as crazy as he was, but it was fucking fate after all, and she had accepted it.

[onsunnyside]

Sonny idk if you’ve played the game The Last of Us but it’s my love again due to the show. But it’s got me thinking about a zombie apocalypse au with Curtis

~🥺

I haven't played it but I've watched a bunch of let's plays !! if I could rewatch a video game series all over again for the first time, it would be that one, or Detroit: become human 🥰 I also want to watch the show bc Pedro Pascal keeps popping up in my life and I think it's a sign to expand my love for a new dilf 🌚

AHHH ZOMBIE AU WITH CURTIS ?? this is what I'm thinking:

You're working on the gardens in your camp when people race towards the front gates, whispering about an intruder. Curiosity gets the better of you and you follow, just catching a glimpse of a man being led to the interrogation quarters. There's dirt and dried blood on his bearded cheeks, he's wearing a torn beanie and clothes that have seen better days. You barely notice the axe in his backpack before he disappears around the corner. And just like that, everyone is dispersed back to their jobs. 

"Who was he?" You ask, jogging to Sam's side. 

"Don't know, looks like he's been through shit from that scar on his face." He replies, the more cautious type when it came to new people, it took him weeks to warm up to you. "Let's hope he isn't bad news." 

It turns out he isn’t bad news after all, Curtis is a close friend of Carol’s (your leader) from the beginning of the apocalypse and by some miracle, ended up in your area. You heard through the grapevine that he’s been alone for a while, lived off the land, scavenged and travelled all over the country. 

total lumberjack/hunter vibes if you get what I mean. his few flannels and worn t-shirts... scruffy beard and deep voice... mhm yes

sweet, sweet you can’t help but want to know more about him but you aren’t the only one 😳 You watch him brush off attempts at conversations in the cafeteria, hanging his head low and slowly eating his food. 

“Stop staring at him.” 

“I wasn’t.” You nudge Wanda back, ducking down as he stands up and takes his plate to the kitchen. Your eyes follow his broad back, the defined muscles shifting under his thin white henley, and the fabric of his cargo pants clinging to his thighs. 

let's be honest, you’ve been alone for a long time, there was no shame in looking. fantasizes and foggy memories can only last so long !!  

Curtis being Curtis plays up the stoic, big bad mean man !! Shrugging off any attempts of friendship from the other campers, keeping to himself and his duties and only actually speaking to Carol or Steve, her second in command. 

you know it can end in tears or a bruised ego, but you want to try too !! What's the worst that could happen that hasn't already happened? 

Life right now was as terrible as it could get, so you take a chance: bringing him a fresh little basket of berries and some spare sheets you had lying around. To your dismay, he barely mutters a 'thanks' 🥺before continuing to mess with an engine, sleeves rolled up and that worn beanie on his head. 

You know when to take a hint and gather the last bit of dignity, “uh, there’s a group birthday party tonight if you want to come. Everyone is going… uhm, no gifts necessary.” When he doesn’t respond, you hide away from the other men’s stares, knowing well enough that Sam’s was one of sympathy. “I-It’s a lot of fun, they play music, the kitchen makes a few cakes, and Carol let’s us stay up as long as we want.” 

“As long as you’re all up on time the next day, I don’t care.” She said during one community meeting, “we deserve to have fun, even when life is so shitty.” 

Again silence, not even a glance at you or the perfectly red and purple berries on the workbench. You take your losses, wrapping them around yourself in a form of self soothing and start walking away 🥺🥺

The clang of metal and a voice freezes your feet in the dirt, “How do you even know what day it is?”

“We don’t.” You swallow your nerves, grateful for more than one syllable, “we try to go by months. The changing seasons help,” although you didn’t get much of that here, “but we guess for the most part.”

and oh my... does he go ?? how long does it take for him to warm up to you ?? DOES HE EAT THE BERRIES ?? AHH and the smut ?? THE KINKS ???? THE FILTH ??????? I HAVE MANY THOTS ABOUT THIS GRUMPY MAN

[lovecolibri]

SaL anon here my friend, back after a couple of weeks visiting family and refereeing family drama (I love them but visits remind me why I physically live far away from them). Anyway I'm sorry your work is being super shitty and you have to walk a fine there right now, that sucks and I'm reviewing them poorly on your behalf 😤.

So instead of indulging in the salt this time I am here to get super excited with you over the upcoming RWRB movie!! After seeing the trailer I immediately went and read the book and I am now aggressively glaring at the calendar waiting for August 11th to fucking get here already. Its been too long since since we've gotten to flail about our blorbos on here and I am ready 🤩🤩🤩.

And do you know the best thing bestie?? There's no self-indulgent showrunner behind the scenes to force out-of-character narrative or unneeded and unwanted side characters on us because they think it makes good drama (okay maybe this will be mildly salty). The story is set, the director seems to excited about the chance to do the actual source material, and everything we've seen from clips looks on point. And its not that I don't enjoy the prospect of seeing a story unfold in new and unexpected ways that a good procedural can do, I love that anticipation and love it even more when it pays off well, but its been awhile since that's happened. It feels like all the shows we've indulged in have just disappointed and I'm so ready to have the story of my blorbos have a happy ending that makes some fucking sense for the characters, that's been built up to and not "earned" through pointless drama but through a real journey that shows the characters discovering the ending they deserved from the start.

So let's get excited about this!! And if we're going to be excited about this do you think we should be song level excited?? Let me know!

Hello my friend! I'm glad you had time to visit family, and then time to be away from family. I know that feeling for sure! Sorry I'm so late getting to this. Work is stressing me TF out, so to relax, I spent the weekend camping (RV-ing) which was nice but also did not involve a lot of good sleep (it's just...so hot. and some people like to play music until 2am). Then I nearly spent this evening on a 4 hour round trip to see my brand new nephew but that was blessedly cancelled so I have time to finish the last few rows of his baby blanket and also answer this ask before it somehow ends up being already Friday and time for RWRB!

I keep going back and forth because on the one hand, there are things from the book I know for sure have been cut and I'm going to miss (whyyyy was this not a 6-8 episode mini-series?!) or things that are going to play out differently than the book which is always a little sad when you're waiting to see how these actors deliver a particular scene only for it to never happen, or the scene to happen differently, or with different dialogue. On the other hand, everything, even if it's not exactly what I would have pictured, just looks SO good and SO funny and fun, and like it all has SO much heart and love and joy behind it. It's like...it's going to be different, but out of necessity for run time/rating, not because someone got tapped to make a story from source material they didn't particularly enjoy or respect and therefore don't really care how they butcher the source material to meet runtime, as long as the studio can make merch with pretty faces. (No, of course I haven't been burned multiple times by books I loved being turned into movies/shows by people who scorn the source material and the intended audience. Why would you think that? 🙃) So I think I can leave space to mourn the changes and missing characters (Cash my absolute beloved! The June/Alex sibling relationship forever relegated to my re-reads and my dreams, the fact that I've seen several mentions of "the/a sex scene" strongly implying we aren't getting as much spice as one would hope given the source material etc), while still being REALLY excited to see what we get and to enjoy a movie so clearly crafted with love and respect of the source material. It's going to be a wild ride of emotions for sure!

And bestie you are sooo right, that after a long string of disappointments, it's going to feel soooo good to win! (Also, the director going back and adding more f-bombs because he found out about the R rating is hilarious and I love him for it.) It's going to feel so good to not have everyone bending over backwards to push just enough subtext to keep people saying "surely this HAS to mean something!" and then turning around and telling fans they're seeing things and it doesn't mean anything. 🙄 (oops! My own salt slipped out there a bit 🤣) ALSO!! There is something that really stood out to me and it was one of they guys saying how great it was they were friends because it was important for the love to be "real". Which struck me because it was almost word-for-word what Vlamis and Tyler said about playing Malex, and the love between them needing to be real, and we all saw how that turned out! Chemistry wise, it's unmatched (even if the show squandered it at every turn) and it's getting me really excited to see how it translates to screen for Henry and Alex with TZP and NG working with the same theory of the love being real. I think they are going to blow everyone away and I can't wait to see it!

I ABSOLUTELY think we should do a song if you're so inspired and I will do my absolute best to respond before Friday and also convince my mom that we don't need to out of town to see the baby until Saturday morning so I can watch it as soon as I get off work Friday.

Cheers bestie! We finally have something to celebrate!

[bump1nthen1ght]

I’m Still Hurting (F!Reader/M!Orc)

Pairings: Fem!Reader/Male!Orc

Genre: Urban Fantasy, Angst

Warnings: (Almost) Infidelity

Word Count: 3376 words

Summary: Your boyfriend does something he’d never thought he’d do, and you’re left to try and pick up the pieces.

Request: can I make a request? About an angst story between an m!orc and f!human. I like the idea of like maybe the orc sorta misses being with other orc women or like she can't fulfill his needs and she hears this. I like the idea of almost infidelity

A/N: Surprise bitches! I’m alive! And back with some delicious angst for y’all!! I really loved doing this request, as I don’t often write full on angst. I am also working on a fluffy request  at the moment, if some of you would like some nice comfort after this haha. Hope y’all enjoy!

Honey ❤️: Babe

Honey ❤️: Babe please answer the phone I need to talk to you

Honey ❤️: I know you’re angry, you should be angry, but please talk to me

Honey ❤️: Baby please

“____? Is that my phone?” Brynn yells from the kitchen, already mixing another cocktail for you to down. Her bright red horns peek over the living room divider, bouncing back as she grabs the alcohol from the fridge. Still looking at your bright screen, you don’t even have the energy to respond.

“____?” You throw your phone away as she peaks her head over, giving her a shameful look. Brynn furrows her brow, pulling away from the kitchen island and putting one hand on her hip. “Was that him?” With your eyes darting back and forth from the pillow you shoved your phone under and Brynn’s face, you nod.

“Y-yeah, it was him.”

Brynn sighs, fiddling with her hands.

“Listen, I don’t want to tell you what to do, especially not tonight, but I just think-”

“No, no, it’s alright. You’re right, you’re right.” A jolt hits you as your phone vibrates, the vibrations rumbling through the fabric and stabbing right into your stomach. You force yourself to look away, fiddling with your fingers. Brynn shoots you a pitiful look, you’re sure of it, even as your efuse to meet her gaze. “I shouldn’t talk to him tonight. Not right now, not when I’m like….this.” A slow, tired breath escapes you. “I’ll make him wait, just like he did.”

The coach cushion bends as Brynn sits next to you, rubbing your shoulder as she leans in for a side each. You accept it, your body like a deadweight as you let yourself go slack in her arms.

“Do you want anything? Chocolate, maybe a movie? I’ve got some leftover cheesecake?”

“A movie sounds nice.” You murmur, nodding against her chest. Brynn hums, her tail coming up and massaging your lower back as she kisses you on the forward.

“Of course, your choice. Do you want me to get your drink?”

You nod once more, letting Brynn untangle herself from the hug and laying back on the couch, grabbing the comfiest blanket and the remote. You quickly flick through you and Brynn’s ‘most watched’ section on Netflix. You need something new tonight, something to get your mind off.

All your regular comfort movies are romances, after all.

By the time Brynn comes back, a rum and coke and a carton of ice cream in hand, you’re already snuggled into a blanket burrito. She hands you a spoon and the glass, which you wordlessly accept. She sits down and throws a hand over your shoulder, trying her best to massage the left over tension in your neck. You sink into the feeling, pressing on your movie of choice.

“Mad Max: Fury Road, huh? I’ve heard this movie’s great.”

“Yeah,” you whisper, “It is.”

And chocked full of shitty men getting what they deserve.

As the opening title plays, the deep voice of Tom Hardy kicking the movie off, you snuggle into Brynn’s side. Your phone buzzes again, but it’s drowned out by screaming men and loud engines. Just how you like it.

Honey ❤️: Could you call me in the morning?

Honey ❤️: I’ll leave you alone for the night, I’m sorry

Honey ❤️: I love you

--------

Waruck sighs, his fingers shaking as another small ‘message delivered’ shows up on his screen. No response, just like the last 15 texts. He finds himself typing out another anyway.

I love you so fucking much

It reads, but is quickly deleted. Waruck clicks off his phone, but it stays in his hand, taunting him. The black mirror shows a sad, pathetic boyfriend, getting the silent treatment.

He falls back onto his bed, exhausted from a day of doing nothing. Nothing but worrying and feeling guilty, with the occasional flicking through TV channels and texting his girlfriend.

It’s getting late, his bedside clock cutting through the dark of his room to remind him he’s been up for almost 16 hours now. Waruck slides a hand through his hair and gets up. He’s going to have to camp out in front of the TV, because he knows he won’t be able to sleep tonight.

Not after what he did.

--------

He had gone out with friends. Friends from highschool who he still occasionally chatted with, friends he didn’t even really like anymore. But the past two weeks had him feeling oddly...nostalgic, like something was out of place. So when his buddy Simon had invited him to the bar, he had eagerly accepted.

He remembers grabbing his coat, you sending him a text to have fun, and him not replying. He didn’t know why he didn’t respond, he still doesn’t. The two of you had been going strong for almost 8 months now, with only the occasional hiccup that most couples have. So why didn’t he respond? What made him casually throw your sweet remark to the side like that?

Waruck shakes his head, trying to focus on the movie in front of him. Now isn’t the time to get existential over tiny shit like that, not with how the rest of the night went.

When he met up with the group, Waruck immediately knew that tonight was going to be different. His current group of friends are quite different, less rowdy, than his old posse. At only 10 PM, three of the guys we’re already halfway drunk, saving a spot in line from him outside the noisy bar. The electronic music that thrummed through the concrete and out onto the street reminded him of how much time has passed, how different his usual party-scene is now, and he revels in that feeling of former good-times.

Simon greets him with a hug, the guys shouting his name as he joins them. From the corner of his eye, he sees a gaggle of girls giggling.

And that's where it started.

An orc woman, dressed in a beautiful black dress, winks as she passes him at the bar. Simon nudges his side as Waruck takes a drink.

“Dude, that chick is totally sending you the look”

Waruck furrows his brow, stirring his drink.

“What’s ‘the look’?” He says, taking another sip of his scotch.

Simon rolls his eyes. “The ‘come hit on me’ look dude! That’s the sign you need to go for it!”

“I have a girlfriend, Simon.”

Simon scoffs, throwing his hand out dramatically. “What, that human chick?”

Waruck has half of mind to set down his drink and ask Simon what he means with that sarcastic tone of voice. It pisses him off, but he says nothing, just rolls his eyes.

“No offense, bro, she looks cute and all. But is she really worth missing out on some great ass?”

Waruck grimaces and shoots Simon a dirty look. “Jesus, Simon, are you serious?”

“I’m serious! When was the last time you had fun, y’know? Everyone knows an orc chick can throw down, wild-style.” Simon nudges him in his side, playfully, but it only serves to make Waruck more annoyed. “C’mon, you seriously don’t miss it?”

Waruck should tell him a firm ‘No’, finish his drink, and leave. He should call a cab and go home, call you and rant about his gross misogynistic friend from high school.

But he doesn’t.

The part of him, the part of him that feels slightly off, wonders if this is it. It had been a long time since he had been with another orc. You were a great girlfriend, but so different from in so many ways. Is that it?

Maybe relieving the old days will satisfy whatever longing he has, and then it will leave forever. Would that be so bad, to let loose for one night?

Waruck feels a tap on his shoulder, and turns to see the orc girl from earlier; The one who sent him ‘the look’.

“Hey handsome, can I buy you a drink?”

Between the boosted bass of the music and the orc woman pressing up against him, Waruck doesn’t notice Simon slip away, giving him a pat on the back.

Leave, say no, tell her she’s got the wrong guy, you fucking idiot. His consciousness yells.

“U-uh, sure.” He stutters.

She introduces herself as Naz and says she noticed him the minute he walked in.

“Hard not to notice the best-dressed guy in the room.” She flirts, pressing herself closer and up against him.

He has a thousand little moments like that, to say something; To pull back and apologize, but he doesn’t.

Instead, he slips into a corner booth with her, purposely ignoring the texts you send to check up on him. You had remembered that he wasn’t sure how much fun this night would be, and routinely checked in if he needed a convenient excuse to leave early. You’re sweet like that.

Naz is sweet too. She's a great conversationalist, with a good head on her shoulders and an interesting career in zoology. Waruck could see the two of you being good friends.

Is that why she seems so alluring? Because she’s so similar to you? Waruck’s mind does mental gymnastics to try and justify his hesitance, his compliance in believing that maybe she has something different after all, even though he knows that isn’t true.

The two of them talk for a solid hour and a half, Naz slowly inching herself closer and putting a hand on his knee. His body screams in resistance, his stomach tying up into knots, but he doesn’t push her away.

“So, I’ve got a room not too far from here. What do you say we go make ourselves a bit more comfortable?”

This is his final chance to find an excuse and say goodnight. To run back home and forget this ever happened. But the words are caught in his throat and he’s further silenced by the nearby whooping of his asshole friends.

“Yeah, Waruck! Get some!”

Naz chuckles and mistakenly reads his seething anger at himself with embarrassment for his friends. She leans in, grabbing his jaw, and whispers.

“Let's give them a show, huh?” Then, she kisses him.

The noises of the bar, his friends, and Naz all drown away as her lips mold into his. Waruck’s body goes rigid, terrified as time seems to freeze as he kisses someone who is not his girlfriend.

But all of that stops when your ringtone begins to blast in his pocket. It should be near silent when compared to the pounding bar music, but that familiar jingle seems to cut deep into his skin and skewer his heart. Waruck pulls away with a quick jerk, Naz almost falling over as he pushes himself into his seat and away from her body-heat. Every nerve is a light with tension as he quickly pulls out his phone.

There on the screen is a picture of you, your contact name, “Sweetie❤️”, shining through the dimmed light of that bar. Waruck breathes heavily, feeling like he’s just run an emotional marathon, stuck in his own head until Naz slides away from him.

“Wait, hold on, do you have a girlfriend?”

Waruck looks at her, then looks at his still-ringing phone, then back to Naz. He nods.

Naz's face curls up into obvious disgust, quickly directing her body to be as far away from him as possible. “Fucking hell, dude. What the fuck?” She grabs her handbag and stomps out of the booth, not before throwing her drink in his face and telling him to go to hell.

He almost watches her move across the bar, most likely to go complain to her friends about the asshole she just wasted the last 2 hours chatting up, but all he can focus on is your picture on his phone.

--------

Waruck practically runs out of the bar, his whole body covered in sweat and his mind racing a mile a minute.

What the hell was wrong with him?

He felt like a 15 year old, goaded into another shitty prank just because he wanted to look cool in front of his friends, buying into their weird bullshit about humans. Was he seriously going to throw away your wonderful relationship over one night, over one urge?

Naz had been strikingly beautiful, in all the ways he was taught an orc like himself should look for. She could probably get any guy in that club tonight, but she wasn’t you. You’re different, but in so many cool, inconsequential, uniquely-you ways.

Waruck doesn’t know how long he walks before he sits down outside a cafe, trying to collect his racing emotions. He feels gross, sticky with the kind of sweat you only get after too much alcohol and too many people. The screen of his phone seems to reflect every smudge and finger-print as he swipes it to unlock it, finally getting the courage to read your text messages.

They start off normal, spread out over several hours. The occasional “How are the guys?” and “Hope you are having fun! Just let me know when you get home safe.” before dropping off into nothing. Right up until 20 minutes ago, where you send a short and curt text that has his heart dropping to his stomach.

Sweetie❤️: Can you call me right now?

Sweetie❤️: Waruck, I need to talk to you

Sweetie❤️: Are you still at the bar?

After that is a notification of your missed call from earlier and Waruck can’t help but feel  guilt stir in his gut.

It could be nothing, something unrelated to what he almost did tonight. But the notification he gets from his Instagram says otherwise. It says a mutual of his tagged him in a photo 30 minutes ago.

Waruck feels like vomiting when he opens up Simon’s story and sees a shaky picture of Naz, draped over him in the corner booth, with him looking all too happy to have her there. The caption reads

“At least someone’s getting lucky tonight 🤣🤣 #BoysNight20XX”

But what comes next is even worse; An even blurrier photo of Naz kissing him, both of their eyes closed as she almost sits in his lap.

Waruck can’t even look at the caption, quickly exiting out of the app and calling you.

He needs to explain himself.

But what will he say?

The phone rings, rings, rings….

Waruck waits with bated breath, thinking you’re going to let it go to voicemail, but you answer. There is no cheerful “Hi Babe” or even a tired and drawn-out “Hey.” Instead all Waruck hears is a shaky sigh, waiting for an explanation.

The words stay caught in Warucks throat, trying to find a way to maneuver and swing around to a solid excuse, a lie he hopes you won’t catch.

But he can’t, he can’t. Not to you.

So you make it easy for him, like you always do, and start the conversation off instead.

“Were you flirting with that girl?”

Waruck’s mind doesn’t give him a choice, the truth already spilling out like a tidal wave.

“Yes.”

Waruck hears you suck in a breath, before you shakily ask once more,

“Did you kiss her? Did you kiss her back?”

“Yes.”

There's 15 seconds of brutal silence as Waruck sits with his confession. In the moment, Waruck feels like he can hear your pounding heartbeat through the receiver.

You hang up.

---------

You hate the weather outside for two reasons.

One: You had far too much rum last night to enjoy any amount of sunlight. And,

Two: On a terrible morning like this one, it feels unfair that there aren't any dramatic thunder storms.

The bell rings on the cafe door as you walk in, causing you to wince as you pull down your sunglasses.

Thank god for the low lighting of these cafes.

You rub your brow, eyes scanning the menu above the bar. Some caffeine should do you good, at least with your headache.

But when you spot him, tucked away at a table, tapping his foot, all that aching pain seems to fall to your subconscious. Before you can meet eyes, you look away, forcing yourself to re-read the menu and blink away your tears.

You face the inevitable when you put in your order, turning to walk towards Waruck. He’s locked his gaze into the wood grain of the table, his large body hunched up and small, like he wants to sink into the shadows. He looks like shit, with large bags under his eyes and a nervous tension in his face.

He startles when you pull out a chair, sitting down across from him, but quickly curls back into his ball of shame. He looks so guilty, a small part of you wants to comfort him and tell him it’ll be alright.

You punch away that part of you with a baseball bat.

“Why did you flirt with her?”

Waruck says nothing. He looks at you with his tired eyes, big and racked with guilt.

I don’t know. They whisper.

Your fingers dig into your jeans, anger boiling up and through your nerves.

That’s not a good enough answer.

“Were you,” You suck in a breath, trying to control your volume, “Were you going to sleep with her? If I hadn’t called you, would you have-”

“No!” Waruck nearly shouts, shaking the table as his knees bang against the bottom, but he recoils once he sees the way you flinch. “No, I wasn’t going to.”

Those pesky tears press against your eyelids once more. You can feel your nails digging indents into your thighs.

“I don’t know if  I can believe that.” You whisper, failing to catch the crack in your voice.

Waruck’s brow furrows as he nervously chews his bottom lip. He tries to meet your gaze, but you seem to look right through him.

“I know.” Waruck sighs, bringing his hand up to rub the back of his neck.

There's a tenuous silence; Waruck tries to find the words to fix things  while you focus on the details of the cafe walls, examining every nook and cranny as you try not to sob.

“I-I understand if you don’t trust me. I understand if you hate me, or you want to break up. But please, please know that I love you, and that I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I’ve been kicking myself over flirting with that girl because I love you so fucking much. I-”

You hold up your hand, stopping Waruck in his tracks. He realizes how loud he’s been talking and that people are beginning to stare. He huddles back into his corner, tucking his hands into his lap. You let out a long breath. Waruck takes the risk and looks up.

When his eyes finally meet yours, he realizes just how sad you look. A treacherous tear has begun falling down your cheek, sending a lightning bolt of remorse into Waruck’s chest.

You take in another deep breath, wiping away the tear with the back of your hand. You look at Waruck, exhausted.

“I don’t,”  You falter, but catch yourself, “I don’t want to break up with you. I just don’t know if I’m ready to forgive you yet.”

Waruck nods, fiddling with his fingers.

“Of course, I get it-”

“I’m not done.” Waruck quickly shuts his mouth. “You hurt me, Waruck. Hurt me in a way I don’t think I’ll ever forget. So I need time. Time before I can even see you again without thinking,” You hiccup, but this time you let the wave of emotion hit you, full force.  “Without thinking about that night.”

A lady calls out your order, but neither of you makes a move. You sit in each other's presence, trying to wrap yourselves around the mess of emotions, trying to read the others mind without seeming too obvious.

You both sit here, in the presence of something that's been broken, damaged in a way that’s cut the heart of your chest and slams them on the table. There’s a crack that runs down between you two, inching open more and more with each breath.

But somehow, somehow, you both think you have a chance of fixing it.

[agendratum]

ok so

as usual after finishing an arc of mdzs my head is full, many thoughts. so let’s talk about the guanyin temple confrontation.

first thing that i kept paying attention to were actually the changes made in order to turn it into live-action. so in cql they had to make the gray-gray characters, the “there are no good or bad guys, just people and their circumstances” characters (unless you’re jgs, than yeah you’re a bad guy and everyone agrees on that actually) into slightly more black and white characters. by the end of cql we are lured into this fake sense of security, “haha, we know who the bad guy is!” (then a year passes and here you are, now a jgy apologist), by the end of mdzs, you just know that, well, decisions were made, unfortunate decisions, by many different people. 

cql had to make wwx into a bit nicer version of himself. the good protagonist couldn’t lose control and accidentally kill a bunch of people, and then kill another bunch of people fully willingly, cause his sister just died and that was the last connection he had to the idea that something still matters in this world. no, out protagonist should be... like a little bit nicer than that. so they lifted some of that responsibility for atrocities off him, but they couldn’t just evaporate it, could they? they had to put it somewhere. they put it on jgy. after all he’s the big bad in the end of the story, well, the only surviving person from all people that could be considered big bads, he’s the one that “did every terrible deed imaginable”. he could take that responsibility, they had to make his grayness into a slightly darker shade anyway.

i am actually kinda surprised by how different my reaction to jgy was in mdzs. obviously, there is a year difference between me watching cql and me reading this part of mdzs, and over that year i changed my opinion on jgy 5 thousand times and joined the camp “actually meng yao deserves all the best things in the world”, but anyway. when i was watching cql i was like, oh my god, can someone just kill him already, before he does something bad again, before more bullcrap comes out of his mouth, and also stop yelling at this kid about all the “valid” reasons to why you killed his dad. in mdzs my reaction to jgy’s confessions was like, “huh. he has a point”.

now don’t get me wrong there, some shitty things were done, but the thing is, the things he did really made sense from his point of view, from this position and life experience he really had no other way to go. i especially was convinced by his reasoning to why he couldn’t cancel his engagement with qin su. not only he would suffer from this story, because he already went through so much to make this marriage possible, but also qin su’s parents and herself would most likely suffer, their public image would be destroyed, only jgs wouldn’t lose anything. and you could feel the hatred and bitterness he felt towards his father talking about this, and everyone in the temple could agree with that, because he “just forgot he made another child”, he didn’t even notice.

another interesting detail for me was lxc saying, “it’s not that i didn’t know that you did some of these things, it’s that i thought you had a good reason for doing them”. so yeah, a reminder, lxc isn’t blind and he isn’t an idiot. he trusted a person he thought he knew better than anyone else, and he believed in this person. the problem, i think, is that “a good reason” is different for lxc and for jgy. lxc would understand a righteous reason, doing something for the greater good. working for wen ruohan? that was explainable. they all were fighting in a war, fighting for the better, brighter future, and meng yao’s contribution to that future was immeasurable. what if he killed some people there? he had a good reason in lxc’s eyes. but meng yao had other good reasons in his life, some of these reasons lxc never had to deal with in his life. survival, for example, is one of them. meng yao’s early years were very different from lxc’s. not to say that lxc’s life was easy, but it was never truly unstable. meng yao had to learn how to survive in a world where no one wanted him. he lived with one dream, promised to him by his mother, a future where he wouldn’t have to suffer anymore, where he wouldn’t have to smile at people he hated, please every one of their desires so they wouldn’t harm him. and then he entered this life promised to him and he still had to survive, but now in a luxurious man-eats-man world of lanling jin.

meng yao’s life really was this unstoppable ball of snow rolling down the mountain, and every decision he made just made the ball bigger and it would just roll faster. there is even a moment where jgy accuses lxc of being naive. lxc isn’t really naive, of course, it was said in the heat of the moment, but it is a fact that lxc was never kicked down a staircase, never had to crawl back up, and the thing is, at the bottom of the staircase, there are other good reasons to do things.

and in a way lxc understood that jgy in his position really didn’t have any other choices, he just couldn’t find peace in this mindset. he kept repeated through that part, “and yet, and yet, you shouldn’t have done that, you should have...” and he never said what exactly jgy should have done. because lxc doesn’t know. jgy doesn’t know. no one knows. what choices were better? how could he fix all that and still survive? in a way, lxc saying that reminded me of wangxian farewell in the burial mounds. when lwj asks, “you really indent to keep going like this?” and wwx, who wished, who longed for another solution, for some way out, asked him, “what else can i do? what method can i choose to resolve this, not use this technique and still protect people i want to protect?” and lwj didn’t have an answer. lxc didn’t have an answer either.

another amazing thing about guanyin temple confrontation, is that it’s very heavily wwx’s pov. most on the novel is his pov of course, but there were a loot of his thoughts in this arc. and he was rather understanding towards jgy. not in a way “i agree with every reasoning behind every decision you made” but in a way “i understand that you had your reasons, but all of them will become irrelevant really soon, they already are, because the crowd will only remember you as a son of a whore who did every terrible deed imaginable, and all the good deeds will be forgotten” 

now his thoughts on nhs, or who he suspected nhs to be, were way less nice. especially compared to live action, nhs didn’t make such an impression on me as he made through wwx’s thought process in the end of guanyin temple arc. of course, wwx is no sect leader yao, he is not the one to jump to conclusions, he just noticed that if you put some facts together, they actually start making a lot of sense, and formed a full picture. but he didn’t have any proof, so he kept it mostly to himself. yet he still thought for a moment about nhs as someone who didn’t care about collateral damage that much, who was ready to sacrifice lives of juniors, sect leaders, anyone, if it would add to jgy’s kill count and make his fall and destruction even more disastrous. not that those are not the things that happened in live action, but you know, when wwx put it all together like that in one paragraph, i really felt it. like, oof, dude it’s ROUGH. and not even jgy’s death was enough, as nhs basically admitted to stealing meng shi’s body and planning to repay jgy for what he did to nmj’s body. yikes

i mean i still support nhs in everything he does, but yikes

also side note, glad that the dead cats situation finally became clear for me. this whole year i was so confused about who left all these dead cats for juniors to find. i thought maybe xue yang did?? to lure wwx?? so apparently it was also nhs. good to know.

another detail, probably the last one my brain can generate for now, that pained me a great deal was my poor child jin ling. i already cried about some things related to him and this arc, but there was another little one in the very end here, after jgy died. jin ling realised, that there were now three people, wwx, wn and jgy, his little uncle, that were responsible for his parents’ death. people he had every right and reason to hate. all three of them. and yet he couldn’t hate any of them. he couldn’t avenge his parents, that died so long ago he couldn’t remember them, because all three people responsible for what happened, had something, some reasons, some circumstances, that made them really not the bad guys in jin ling’s life. and they all cared about him, protected him. how could he hate them? how could he not? and in this way this poor child repeats, unfortunately, his uncle’s curse. to have someone he wants to hate so much but just simply can’t. it warms my heart at least that jin ling has a much better support system than jc had when he had to live through that experience. so there is hope.

[mamabearcat]

9: a missing moment from canon 💜

Okay. Sorry in advance. This ended up a lot angstier than I'd planned.

The thing is, Kagome is a modern girl in a very violent and unforgiving time period, and I'm sure she saw a lot of things that she wasn't emotionally prepared for. And she's such an empathic character, she would take those situations to heart, and they would affect her a lot.

I'm going to put this under a read more. Contains a death (not main character) and canon level violence. I'm going to put it in my AO3 one-shot collections as well.

“Kagome? Can I get the kettle out of your backpack?”

Kagome startled at the sound of Sango’s voice so close to her, and the soft touch of a hand on her shoulder. Suddenly she realised that everyone had been setting up the camp around her while she’d been sitting on a tree root, silently staring into space.

“Oh Sango-chan, I’m sorry, let me help!”

Sango smiled at her wanly, her lips barely turning up at the corners, squeezing Kagome’s shoulder gently.

“It’s fine Kagome-chan. Just rest here a moment.”

“O-okay.”

And she was left alone with her thoughts again. Swirling thoughts she didn’t really want. Thoughts she wished she could bleach out of her mind, like Mama did with the stains on white tablecloths. Soak her whole self in a bucket of bleach to be hung out on the line, and go back to being sunny carefree Kagome, who’s main worry of the week was if she managed to remember the quadratic equation for that math quiz. Not the Kagome who had just seen that village. That hut. Not the Kagome who had held that boy. Not the Kagome who… killed.

*

“Here, there’s someone alive over here!” Shippou called out frantically, his tiny paws incapable of pulling aside the ruins of the toppled and still smouldering hut. In a flash Inuyasha was there, lifting heavy boards, kicking aside matting and broken furniture until he could make his way inside.

“Inuyasha!”

Kagome followed him into the partially collapsed hut, medical kit in hand, but Inuyasha turned to block her view.

“Don’t go in Kagome, you can’t do no good in there.”

There was a faint, gurgling cry, and Kagome slipped under his outstretched arm to glance around the room. There had been fire. There were arrows. There was blood. There was a woman, her eyes open but no longer seeing, her torn clothing no longer protecting either her modesty or the horrific end she had come to. And there was a boy.

He was young, probably around Souta’s age. But the gash across his throat and horrific burns covering half his face and chest made him look monstrous, and Kagome had to clench her teeth hard against the bile forcing it’s way up her throat. The smell was horrific, and she panted for a moment as she knelt next to the boy, trying to get herself under control. His one eye focused on her face.

“Ma…” he gurgled. Kagome glanced aside to the woman on the floor and then back to the boy, concentrating her gaze on the unmarked side of his face, smoothing the blood soaked hair off his forehead as she gathered her courage, then forced herself to take stock of his injuries for a moment. She blinked quickly, fighting back tears. Even if she tried to treat those burns, the amount of blood he’d lost from where his throat was cut, the actual cut itself – she had no way to fix this. Even a modern hospital would have trouble fixing this. She took a deep breath.

“I’m Kagome, and I’m going to give you something to take the pain away”, she said softly.

She reached into her medical kit and took out the tiny dark bottle that Kaede had given her. The one that came with extremely strict instructions and should only be used in very specific circumstances. There was no way she could save this boy. Left for dead by samurai soldiers and then horrifically burnt by the hut they’d set alight. The hut that had once been his home, his safe place. They had arrived too late to help, long after the samurai had left. She couldn’t do anything to take those violent memories away for him. But at least she could take his pain away.

Being as gentle as she could she dribbled the mixture into the child’s mouth, humming softly to him and stroking back his hair as she waited for the medicine to take effect. Gradually the ragged breathing slowed and his eye rolled back as a great sigh, and then another left his body.

Her trembling hand slid down his face to close his eye as the silent tears came. Tears for a little boy she would never know, a boy from a different time, but who in essence was probably very similar to the little brother she loved.

Inuyasha stood behind her silently, waiting for her to be ready to move aside. For a while, he’d sat in the hut with Kagome and the boy, listening to her quiet hum and the gasping breaths of the boy, watching the movement of the gentle hand. But in the end, he hadn’t been able to sit still any longer, his fingers twitching helplessly, and had gone outside to dig the graves. At least with that he was useful.

When Kagome finally wobbled to her feet, he picked up the little boy, barely a weight in his arms, and carried him outside to place in the grave. When he came back for the mother, Kagome had found a charred blanket to wrap her in, and had closed her eyes.

When the graves for all the villagers had been filled and Miroku had chanted the sutras, with Sango laying some wildflowers she’d managed to find not far away, Kagome had leaned on Inuyasha bonelessly, holding Shippou in her arms. It felt like she should still be crying, but her tears had dried up to be replaced by a feeling of emptiness. A hollow rage that had no where to go.

And that rage still filled her. The unfairness of it. There had been no reason for the people in that small village to have died. There had been barely twenty of them. It had obviously been a small farming community, a poor one, with nothing worth stealing. The only thing stolen had been their lives, their dignity, by men who had no compassion or soul.

“Kagome?”

Little Shippou was standing there in front of her, holding out a plate. Plain rice, with fish cooked over the fire.

But one look at the blackened blistered skin that she usually loved to eat had her bolting into the darkness as far from the camp as she could manage before she collapsed over a large tree root, hurling the meagre contents of her stomach onto the forest floor. The dry sobs came then as she gripped the bark under her fingernails, feeling them bend and crack as she put all her strength into it.

“Hey.”

Inuyasha was there, holding back her hair, his hand warm on her back.

“It’s not fair”, she gasped. “They didn’t deserve that. It’s not fair.”

“No, it’s not fair”, he said, his usually gruff voice gentle.

“And I know what you’re going to say. And I know it too. I need to be tougher, harder. I need to get used to seeing things like that. I need to be stronger.”

The hand on her back rubbed gently.

“I wasn’t gonna say anything of the sort.”

He sighed then, and she felt herself being pulled backwards into his arms as he picked her up and moved away from the meagre pile of vomit, sitting down against a tree closer to the campsite, holding her tightly against him, kissing her forehead.

“You are a good person Kagome. Kaede woulda done the same.”

“I’m not a good person”, she whispered. “I killed him Inuyasha. That little boy.”

“No you didn’t.” He ignored her shaking head. “He woulda died anyway, all alone. You gave him peace, and you were there for him when he needed someone the most.”

Kagome shut her eyes, and he turned her face to his.

“Look at me. Kagome look at me.”

His eyes were the most earnest she’d ever seen them, and she couldn’t help the small sob that escaped her.

“You don’t need to be hard. You don’t!”

He stroked her hair gently as she pressed her face into his chest, tears streaming.

“Your heart, your… softness. It’s one of the things I like about ya the most. Because that soft heart a yours looked at a shitty hanyou like me and decided I was okay.”

She snorted at him through her tears, pushing at his chest with a weak fist.

“You’re better than okay, dummy!”

“Better than okay”, he chuckled. “I’ll take that. But I'm be'in serious here, you don’t gotta change, alright? Not one bit a you. You stay the same Kagome. I could never have sat beside that kid like you did. You keep be’in you, and I’ll be here to look after you.”

“O-okay…”

They sat silently for a while in the darkness, the only sounds the crackling of the nearby campfire and the wind in the leaves.

“Do ya think you could eat a little, or do ya need to go to sleep.”

“Maybe… just… not the fish.”

“Fair enough. Can ya walk?”

“Yeah.”

When they got back to the campsite, Shippou was crying in Sango’s arms as she murmured soft words to him, and Kagome’s heart lurched. Letting go of Inuyasha’s hand she held out her arms.

“Shippou, I’m okay", she said, trying to make her tone light and encouraging. "You didn’t do anything wrong, I was just sad. But I bet if you gave me a hug, I’d feel much better?”

Seeing her, Shippou bounded over to her and into her arms, hugging her tight, sobbing out his apologies for making her ill, and she hummed to him, stroking his soft hair away from his forehead. Here was a little boy who needed her right now, who she could help. And that made the rage lessen a little.

But she would never forget.

[lunnybunny12]

Sandor Clegane x reader (Reason 1)

Requests are open 

Warnings: Death, Murder, hanging, swearing and prostitution 

Word count: 1230

Part 2 (Reason 2)

Part 3 (Reason 3)

Part 4 (Reason 4)

Master list

A daughter of a whore, raised by nuns, became a thief, ran away to Braavos and was trained as an assassin. That just about summed you up.

You had fought your whole life to get to where you were, to prove you were worthy enough to be apart of a world filled with shitty people. Despite all of that, you still found yourself  laughing at the situation you found yourself in.

"(Y/n) fucking Hill"

Your head shot up at hearing that name. You hadn't gone my Hill since you went to Braavos.

"Ah, so you know our little sparrow do ya Clegane?" Thoros said nudging your side as he sat beside you.  When he saw the look you gave to the former guard he dropped his joking demeanour. 

"The Fuck you doing here?"

Sandor stared at you for a moment before turning to the 3 men behind you. The men were stood on 3 small barrels, hands tied behind their backs and a rope around their necks.

"Chasing them. You?"

"Hanging them" Berec retorted.

"They're our men. Or they were. They attacked a nearby septor and murdered the villagers, why do you want them?" Thoros asked.

"Same reason. I was helping build it. They killed a friend of mine."

"You have friends?"

"Not any more" Sandor said, his eyes darted to you for a second before walking up to your group "They're mine."

"It's the brotherhoods good name they've dragged through the dirt-"

"Fuck your name. They're mine," Sandor said through gritted teeth. " I've killed you once before Beric and I'm happy to do it again."

At the corner of your eye, you saw another one of your group stretch his bowstring and aim an arrow at him.

"Drop the arrow," You said clearly so that everyone could hear and stepped closer to him.

 "He's not going to hurt US... you can have one of them."

The look you got wasn't one of surprise or shock. He was thinking. The other men around you weren't surprised at your boldness, you'd been with them for years and had quickly earnt the respect you were given.

"... Two" Sandor said looking at you.

After a moment of silent deliberation, you nodded to him in agreement.

Just as Sandor was about to plant his axe in one of the traitors heads, Thoros stopped him.

"We're not butchers..."

"Speak for yourselves" you mumbled under your breath with a smile.

"... We hang them"

With an annoyed look, Sandor replied "Hanging? All over in an instant. Wheres the punishment in that?"

"They die-"

"Thay all bloody die. Except for that one" Sandor said motioning to the one-eyed man behind him. " I'll only gutt one of em"

By this point, you had taken a few steps away to get a better view of the scene. The men that were about to die were part of your group once but their twisted sense of right and wrong had lead them to do awful things. They deserved what they were about to get and thankfully others thought the same.

"No" Beric said.

"Chop off one hand?"

"We gave you 2 of the 3 out of the respect of your loss. That's generous."

With a sigh, Sandor dropped his axe " You're all a bunch of Nancies... There was a time I would've killed all 8 of you just to gutt these 3."

"You're getting old Clegane" you chuffed

Suddenly, Sandor kicked the barrel out from under one of the man's feet, sending him falling a short distance to his slow death.

"He's not" Sandor said doing the same to another of the man.

That's when you moved to stand in front of the last man. His eyes wide with fear. You'd admit that you enjoyed watching the fear grow as you let kicked away his barrel too.

When you got back to camp, Beric told Sandor that he was born a fighter and no matter where he went a fight would always find him. How everything happens for a reason Bla bla bla.  It was true that Sandor was a fighter, he had gutted his first man when he was 12 years old and didn't regret it, but that didn't make him a fighter. What made him a fighter was how he continued to live his life and grow stranger with every passing day and by the way he looked he had continued to do so. Beric also said that Sandor would be useful in the brotherhood. How it needed strong men to help is win the upcoming war and how he could help more people he's hurt.

You saw something change in him at that moment. It could have been how he sat or the look in his eye, you weren't sure... but something did change.

That night when everyone was supposed to be asleep, you stayed awake to keep the fire lit. While stoking the flames, thoughts swam around your head like a fish in a shallow pond. The flames shone like a beacon in the pitch-black forest. The occasional snore and animal sounds echoed off of the trees. The stars above were the only thing for the company.

At the corner of your eye, you saw someone lumbering their way towards you. You weren't scared, you knew he wouldn't hurt you.

"Cant sleep Clegane?"

"Not with all these cunts snoring like dying pigs"

"It good to see you haven't changed" You said, eyes gazing into the fire. 

"and there's no point in trying to save face, I know you're still angry with me,"

"And for good fucking reason. You kissed me took the gold and pissed off to Braavos the first chance you got." he quietly seethed. when he put it like that it did sound like an awful thing to do.

With a sighed "Sandor, what am I?"

"I'm not playing guessing games (Y/n)"

"What am I? I'm a bastard, born to a whore and gods know who. No money, no parents, hell not even a name. From the moment I was born, I had to fight for myself because no one else would. I pissed off because after your father died and that brother of yours became the lord, you became the princes bitch in the red keep. There was nothing for me in Westeros, so I left,"

"And what of that kiss then ey? You left that out of your little rant" he said cockily.

You looked at him without a speck of fear in your eyes. His whole life he had never met anyone who looked at him like that and it rendered him speechless.

"That kiss was the only thing of worth I could've given you to remember my by. I knew full well that if I died you'd be the only one in Westeros to remember me ... we were friends once Clegane and you couldn't even tell me you were leaving so I did it first." You said taking a deep swig of ale from a pouch on your hip and then passing it to him.

"Was that the only reason?" He asked taking the pouch from you.

"No. but its the only one I'm brave enough to admit to right now" You joked earning a smile from the man.

[chocoholicannanymous]

If the Spit Hits the Fan (Glee) Pt XVIII

This is the last part of this. Of a story that I was pretty certain I wouldn’t finish and just posted the bit I had in my scraps and snippets tag for a lark. You read that, and you liked it, and your response made me want to try and finish it. And so here we are, ~29k finished fic. 

Thank you for the support.

Follows pt I, pt II, pt III, pt IV, pt V, pt VI, pt VII, pt VIII, pt IX, pt X, pt XI, pt XII, pt XIII, pt XIV, pt XV, pt XVI and pt XVII.

New York is big and loud and filthy and expensive.

Kurt's first apartment had been an absolute rathole. He'd shared it with four others, and his “room” had been a repurposed coatroom. There had been just enough place for a bed and a tiny table instead of a desk. He'd only brought the most necessary in way of clothing, and with the exception of two shirts hanging from a nail in the wall he'd been forced to keep everything in a suitcase under the bed.

He'd moved out after a month, tired of never being able to keep food in the kitchen, weary of the nicks surrounding the lock on his door – he'd replaced the old one day 1, but even the best of locks only went so far – and fed up with having to carry all his valuables with him at all times.

Luckily the Warbler network had activated and Trent's older brother had offered up his guest room (and if that wasn't a sign of wealth, a student in New York with a guest room, then Kurt didn't know what was) for the rest of the year provided Kurt find someplace else to spend the night on those occasions it was needed. During the fall it'd mostly been solved by Sebastian coming to visit and the two sharing a cheap hotel room, and during the fall by Kurt spending the night at Sebastian's apartment. It had been tempting to move in with Sebastian then, but Kurt had resisted and they both agreed they'd become stronger for it.

Living together had been tough, especially since Sebastian had a lot more money available than Kurt. They'd managed to find a balance though and looking back Kurt feels proud of the work they'd put in to make it work. Three years (and counting) together and these days Kurt is willing to proclaim that Sebastian is as much of a perfect boyfriend as it's possible to be.

Yes, New York is still loud and filthy and big, but it's also full of light and laughter and love. Kurt's learned to find his way around both city and school, and he's on track for graduation with excellent prospects. Life is good.

Of course, that kind of means he's overdue for a cold shower and unfortunately it comes as cold and icy as is possible.

“Blaine. I guess I should have known you'd turn up.”

Like a bad penny, Kurt thinks. His ex-boyfriend just smiles wider at the words, clearly not picking up on the undertones.

“Yes! I'll always come back to you, Kurt. We're meant to be – you're my soulmate.”

Kurt shudders. All these years, and he still haven't gotten over his negative reaction to those words.

“Yeah, I'm pretty sure you and I have different interpretations of what those things mean. Personally I can't see how someone who walked out of my life without a word years ago could be considered my 'soulmate', but that's me.”

“That's not fair! I never wanted to leave you, but my parents made me.”

Blaine does this thing with his face that resembles what Kurt remembers of Blaine's “I've apologized, sort of, and you should forgive me now” expression and Kurt thinks that if Blaine could see himself he'd never ever do it again. It's not pretty. It kind of looks like he's about to shit his pants, frankly.

“Right. Your parents. And why, exactly, were they so determined to get you out of Lima without saying goodbye?”

Blaine flinches, and Kurt can see the realization hit him. Strange. It's as if he never even thought about the possibility that Kurt would know about the lies Blaine had told. Emotions run across Blaine's eyes and face, one after the other, and Kurt just waits without even trying to figure out what's going through his ex's mind. He's beyond caring.

“Kurt, I... I, I have a confession to make. When I got home that last night, my parents, they were waiting up for me. They made assumptions, and I, I let them.”

Blaine's face twists, and a couple of tears start falling. Kurt would be touched, really he would, except he happens to know that Blaine can cry on command.

“I know I shouldn't have, I know it was wrong, I was just so afraid! I thought they'd throw me out, and so I kept quiet and did what they wanted. I'm so sorry I did that to you.

“I love you, Kurt!”

The thing is, he can remember when those words from Blaine's lips would make him melt. That's no longer true. Now he listens to them like he would a performance, and he finds them lacking. He should have gone for soft instead of intense, a hint of tears maybe, not volume and anger.

This isn't school though, even though it very much is a performance, nor is it worth critiquing. It's not worth anything, really. Kurt sighs a little, just wanting all of it to be over and Blaine to be gone.

“Here's the thing. I understand, I guess. In your shoes I would have been worried to tell my dad the truth too. I think just about every teenager out there would be at least a little afraid to tell their parents they got drunk and stupid.

“But I also think that just about every teenager out there knows that there's some kind of middle-ground between 'I got drunk and tried to rape my boyfriend' and 'my boyfriend drugged me and tried to rape me'. Except apparently you didn't. You just went with what would get you of the hook the fastest and easiest.”

“Hey! That's not fair!”

“Oh, it isn't? You doing what you did is okay, but me calling it what it was is unfair? Now, why am I not the least bit surprised that that's how you feel?

“You know, at first I didn't understand how you could do it. How you could say you loved me and then not just leave me, but let your parents believe that I would do something like that to you. Well, that you could let anyone think I'd do that to anyone.

“But as I said, I understand why you did it.”

A triumphant look flash up in Blaine's eyes. Oh, he's doing a pretty good job at hiding it – much better than he would have been able to as a teenager – but Kurt knows him, and he's looking for it.

“You threw me under the bus because you knew it'd be an easy out. You could have told your parents something else, anything else, but you chose the worst possible lie – one you had to have known would get me in trouble. You did it because it was easy, and it would get you of the hook – maybe even get you some sympathy instead of the punishment you deserved – and you did it because that was all you cared about. You.

“I always knew you were a bit self-involved, but I told myself it was just part of you being a performer. A healthy ego's pretty much a must, and I used to think that was it. Except it turned out you were so focused on you, and your needs and wants, that nothing else mattered. Certainly not me.

“It took me a while to accept, but I know now that regardless of what you said you didn't love me. Not really. You might have thought you did, but Blaine? Love means that the other person's just as important to you as you yourself are. And I never was that to you.”

He ignores Blaine's protests and just continues, projecting his voice to be heard over the barely restrained excuses and lies.

“The truth is that your lack of empathy and care for other people borders on Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and quite frankly I am better off for not having you remain in my life. Just don't expect me to thank you for it though.

“No one else will either. Do you realize how many people you worried with your little disappearing act? There was quite a few at Dalton who were convinced that your parents had shipped you off to conversion camp. They were counting down until your 18th birthday and from what I heard there was even the beginning of a fund to pay your way at Dalton if you escaped and were disowned.”

There's a triumphant gleam in Blaine's eyes. Clearly he's pleased about his friends being so worried about him and so ready to help him out. Kurt just wants to stomp that light out. Violently.

“Then when you didn't resurface after your birthday a few started worrying that your parents had you in a mental hospital, and there was talk of trying to stage some kind of rescue. That only lasted so long, of course.

“You see, somehow it's hard to convince anyone that their friend is practically jailed and in need of a rescue when they're seen out and about clubbing in L.A.. After all, these days everyone carries a phone, so the idea that you were unable to contact someone – anyone – and ask for help went up in flames pretty quick after that.”

Thad had been so angry that he'd made sure every single Dalton student that had ever know Blaine found out, and even the boy's most die-hard supporters had given up then and there.

They'd all understood not wanting to getting into a conflict with your family, especially when said family usually paid for college and any possible trust funds tended to be under the family's control for a while longer. What they hadn't understood was Blaine's total lack of communication. Email telling them that Blaine was okay but under orders not to contact anyone from Ohio would have gone a long way to ease worries, and was, they felt, the very least he owed them.

“Funny thing about you showing up here now? I can't help but remember that you turned 21 a couple of weeks ago. You didn't happen to get access to a trust fund then did you? Not that I actually care, but there are some old bets to settle.”

There wasn't, not really, but enough Warbler had warned Kurt about this very scenario with an added “I bet he shows up afterwards, thinking you'll take him back” for it to not quite be a lie.

Blaine splutters before launching into a long row of “explanations”, one more shitty than the other. It's obvious that he didn't expect Kurt to be angry with him, but instead to be welcomed with open arms. It's even sounding as if Blaine expected Kurt to take him back and just let him slide back into his life as if nothing had happened. Kurt isn't quite sure if Blaine intended for him to move in with Kurt and start a new life in New York, or if the idea was for Kurt to give up everything and follow Blaine back to L.A., but both options are equally ridiculous.

“Stop. Just, stop. I told you, I don't care. If you want to get in touch with any of your old friends from Dalton and McKinley and explain all of it to them, do so. But you don't need to explain anything to me. I don't want to hear it. Your window for explaining yourself to me closed years ago. It closed after you let your parents walk into a police station ready to have me charged with rape.

“Nothing you can say will ever make that okay. Nothing you say can make me forgive you.”

Kurt stops himself and takes a deep breath. There's so much he could say, so many accusations that could be made, so much hatred to be poured out.

Blaine's actions had gotten Kurt into trouble, and could have landed him in jails. They'd been what had stopped Burt Hummel from running from reelection after being asked – while nothing had come from the Andersons' accusations there had still been enough people who had known about it for it to leak and ruin a political career. After all, who cared if it was true when it made for a good weapon? And “local congressman buries son's rape charge” made for a great weapon.

Kurt had been willing to risk it, but his dad hadn't wanted to. Had it leaked the only way to prove Kurt's innocence would have been to make the video of Blaine trying to assault Kurt public. No good parent does that to their kid had been Burt's position, and Kurt had been grateful.

That didn't mean he wasn't aware of exactly how much that had cost not just his dad but the whole state. The man who'd replaced his dad had been the kind of bigot that wasn't good for anyone, not even his followers.

Kurt still blames Blaine for that, and even if he'd been insane enough to consider forgiving everything else he's never forgiving that. The chance of making Blaine understand any of that is minuscule though. The chance of him caring is even less.

There is, simply put, no point in spending even another second on trying to get through to him.

“You're not welcome here. Please leave. Goodbye Blaine.”

Once the door is closed and locked behind Blaine Kurt finally relaxes. He's closing the door on Blaine in more than one way, finally able to truly do that – because regardless of what he's hoped he's always known that one day his former boyfriend would pop up again.

“If he comes back you're filing for a restraining order.”

“He won't come back, Sebastian.”

“You don't know that. He did today, didn't he?”

It's obvious that Sebastian is coming from a place of care and worry, and Kurt feels himself soften. Blaine hasn't just been the monster under Kurt's bed during all of these years.

“Yes, he did, and no, I guess I can't really know. But honey, I really don't think he will. Blaine was reminded today that actions have consequences, and he found out I have the means to ensure said consequences. Coming after me and trying to change my mind is more work than he's ever shown himself willing to put in.

“After all, he's not the kind to stick around when the spit hits the fan.”

Luckily Sebastian is.

~ The end ~

[timelesslords]

time, mystical time (cutting me open then healing me fine)

Read on AO3

The night the second Giant War ends, Percy and Annabeth sneak out together 

For the first time in what felt like years, Annabeth was able to exhale.

They'd done it. Gaea was gone, the Romans were on their side, various monster armies had been defeated. Sitting on the porch of the Big House with the remaining seven after all was said and done had felt like both one of the most anti-climactic, and heaviest moments of her life. Leo was gone, and she hadn't fully processed that yet, she wondered if she would ever fully process that Leo, so full of life and energy, wasn't there anymore. But compared to the Titan War, casualties had been light.

She still felt on edge, like at any moment the dirt in front of her might rise into Gaea's familiar form, shout "surprise!" and murder them all now that they had their guard down. But the hours passed, night fell, and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Which, considering how Annabeth's life had gone the past 7 years, was extraordinary in and of itself.

But it still didn't feel right. It didn't feel done . She could breathe out, but breathing in still felt like a struggle, like there was something caught there.

Maybe that was why, once her siblings seemed mostly asleep, Annabeth slipped on her yankees cap and snuck out the door. She reached Cabin 3 easily, and was not at all surprised to find Percy still awake when she tapped on his window. He opened it, letting out a waft of cool sea breeze into the night air. Annabeth pulled off her cap and Percy grinned at her.

"Thank gods, I was wondering if you were ever going to show up." he said.

"Some of us have roommates." Annabeth replied, but she was also smiling. Percy had a conspiratorial grin on his face, the kind that was contagious, and that would make any self-respecting teacher want to cry.

"Give me a sec," He said, disappearing from the window, and returning with a blanket a few moments later. Then he began to climb out.

"You know the door is like six feet away, right?" Annabeth asked, watching with amusement as he maneuvered his way out of the small window hole. Percy managed to slide out of it, his feet landing on solid ground a little harder than he probably intended.

"Yeah, but where's the fun in that?"

"You're ridiculous." Annabeth said. She had not meant for it to come out quite so fondly, but she didn't have the heart to try and correct herself.

"You love me anyways." Percy said happily, taking her hand, lacing his fingers through hers. It felt so easy, so natural, Annabeth could almost forget the past 8 months had happened. Like they were still two kids who had only been through one war in their lifetime instead of two Which, okay, maybe a pretty pathetic ideal, but it still made her feel good.

They made their way down to the beach, careful to avoid the cleaning harpy's regular paths, though Annabeth doubted they were even on curfew duty tonight. There was still tons of debris lying around from the earlier battle that hadn't been fully squared away yet, despite everyone working around the clock to get it done. Though, with help from the Romans, Annabeth thought they could probably have camp looking back to normal in the next day or two. They were scarily efficient. Either way, the harpies were probably taking the night off.

The beach, thankfully, had remained relatively untouched from the battle. There were a few dunes she wasn't sure had been there before, and what looked like a bit of wreckage from one of the orangers. But they ignored both, opting for their favorite spot just above the tideline, in the middle of the beach. Percy set down the blanket, and they laid down on it together, still holding hands.

They were quiet, but that didn't bother Annabeth. Quiet moments with Percy were stupidly hard to come by, and just being next to him made her feel whole again. Even after the weeks they'd spent together, Annabeth hadn't fully recovered from the time she had spent with him missing. She wondered if she would ever fully recover from that, or if she was doomed to dream of him disappearing right before her eyes for the rest of her life.

And that had always been the fear, hadn't it? That he would leave like everyone else in her life had, before she had him? It was her fault they had taken so long to get together, the way she kept pulling away, expecting him to get tired and go. But he hadn't. He had stubbornly stuck around, even when she was mad at him and being mean to him and hadn't really been all that pleasant to be around.

And of course, there was the other thing. The prophecy that had ruled their lives since they were twelve, that Annabeth had read at too young an age, and that she had applied to him from the minute that trident flashed over his head. He wasn't even supposed to be here.

"What are you thinking about?"

Annabeth glanced over at Percy, who had apparently been looking at her for the past few minutes.

"You've got that scrunched up look on your face." He said. He at least had the decency to sound apologetic.

"My face doesn't get scrunched." Annabeth protested, though even as she said it she became aware of the tenseness in her forehead and between her eyes. She rubbed the bridge of her nose.

"It does, when you're thinking hard. Don't worry, it's very cute."

"You're biased." Annabeth said, turning herself so she could look at him straight on.

"Maybe so." Percy said, with a soft smile and a half shrug. It was very easy to forget, sometimes, that they were half gods, but Annabeth saw it in Percy just then. Something beyond human in his touch and his eyes. Something divine. She wasn't sure how she had ever thought it would be possible for him to die. Looking at him now, she would swear up and down he was an immortal.

"I was just thinking about last summer. And the one before that. And all the time we wasted." Annabeth admitted.

"In our defence, we were kind of dumb then." Percy said, hitting her with a trademark grin. Annabeth had to smile back, even as she rolled her eyes.

"Speak for yourself, Seaweed Brain."

"Okay, okay. I was an idiot, and you were as brilliant as ever." Percy amended. Annabeth appreciated his undue faith in her, but it wasn't entirely warranted.

"I wasn't brilliant. I was pragmatic, which is just another kind of stupid if you use it wrong." Annabeth sighed.

"What do you mean?"

"Like," Annabeth started, not sure how to explain what she was thinking in a totally not-morbid way, "I guess I was just thinking about the prophecy the whole time. After the labyrinth especially, I just– I don't know. I was so scared of how it would all play out. I kept pushing you away because I thought it would be easier."

"You thought I was going to die." Percy said. He had a look of careful consideration on his face, free from judgement. He didn't let go of her hand.

"Yes." Annabeth said, feeling guilty as she did, "I mean, I should've known better. Prophecies never play out the way you think they will."

"The summer before. We ended things on weird terms." Percy remembered, "Is that because you thought the time was running out?"

Annabeth shuddered inadvertently. If it was up to her, she would never think about that summer again. It had easily been the worst of her life, maybe even now, and she had some really shitty summers to compare it to.

"It was partially that." Annabeth admitted, "Partially Luke. And... it was also sort of my prophecy. When you disappeared those two weeks and we– I thought you had died, I thought... I thought it was my fault. For bringing you on the quest."

Percy was frowning, like he wasn't quite following what she was saying.

"The last line. The one I didn't tell you about until after." Annabeth prompted.

And lose a love worse than death. Annabeth had been well aware of her crush on Percy at that point, but she hadn't fully, truly realized she was in love with him until she had thought he'd died for her prophecy. It was the absolute worst moment to have that clarity. Thankfully she had gotten a do-over of sorts, but it was hard to forget that kind of pain. That probably was why she had avoided him the rest of the summer, more than anything else, because she after she knew that she loved him the thought of losing him again, which had felt desperately inevitable at the time, was absolutely excruciating.

Percy's eyes widened in understanding.

"Oh. Oh. Oh gods, I was an idiot. I didn't even realize how much of an idiot I was for that." he said, "After you kissed me and everything. I just never put it together."

Annabeth couldn't help but laugh a little at the expression on his face.

"It's okay." she said.

"Did I ever apologize for that? I'm really sorry."

"You don't have to apologize. I tortured you enough after the fact."

"You did do that. I deserved it though. Gods." Percy said, rolling onto his back, looking up at the stars.

"Rachel didn't though." Annabeth said. She still felt a little twinge of guilt at how she'd treated Rachel the first few times they'd met. Looking back on it, it really didn't have much to do with Rachel at all; she had mostly been mad at herself, and Percy. Herself for not being brave enough to make a move, Percy for having a crush on a girl who wasn't her, after all they'd been through together. Not exactly fair feelings all around, but at least they'd been equally distributed. And she'd apologized to Rachel afterwards.

"No, probably not." Percy agreed.

"I was just mad, I guess. Luke was gone for good. Thalia had left, and I knew she had to, but it still hurt. And I thought I was going to lose you to her and then you were going to die, again, sort of, and it was all just kind of unbearable."

"I'm sorry. That you had to do that alone." Percy said, squeezing her hand, "I wish I had been better about it. I just didn't really know what to do."

"It's not your fault." Annabeth said. Then, after a moment of contemplation

"Though you could have at least acknowledged the kiss."

Percy groaned, covering his face with his free hand.

"I was so dumb. I still didn't know if you liked me after that. I thought you just wanted to forget about it."

"Well, after you didn't mention it, maybe." Annabeth said, a little teasingly. It was nice to just be able to sit here and talk about things. The past few months had been pretty hellish, but one thing they had done was put things in perspective. It was easy to laugh at their awkward 15-year-old selves' interactions now, while it might've still been uncomfortable a few months ago.

Of course, if Percy hadn't disappeared out of nowhere, they probably would've reached this point in their relationship organically, without all the trauma on the side. But if she thought about that for too long she would just get angry, and she didn't want to ruin the moment. It was a nice moment. The type of moment she wanted to have with him over and over again, until they both died of old age. For the first time that actually felt like an achievable goal.

"Can I get a do-over?" Percy asked, his trouble-maker smile back on his face. Annabeth grinned back.

"You can have as many do-overs as you want."

He leaned over and kissed her, soft and sweet, and frankly much better than the hurried, frantic one in the volcano had been.

"Annabeth Chase," he said as he pulled away, "I am acknowledging that that was an amazing kiss. I hope to have many more amazing kisses with you, for the rest of our lives."

Annabeth laughed and kissed him again, because she had the time, and they finally had the world to themselves again, and now that he had kissed her again, any time not spent kissing him felt like a waste.

"You're very good at that. Have I ever told you you're very good at that?" Percy said, when they finally broke apart again.

"Well, I had lots of practice before you." Annabeth said, unable to stop the sly smile from spreading across her lips.

"Like who?" Percy asked, indignantly. He was joking, but she could tell there was a note of genuine surprise there.

"Oh, lets see." Annabeth said, rolling back onto her back, fingers still laced through Percy's, "There was Zach, from elementary school. He wasn't very good, but practice is practice. And then Jake from that boarding school–"

"You kissed guys at your boarding school?"

"Oh sure. I was sad and you weren't around, I had to make do. I made out with Connor once, that was an experience."

"Our Connor? Connor Stoll?" Percy asked, unable to mask his surprise. Annabeth bit down a giggle.

"Yeah, on a dare. He wasn't so bad, really, but he could have used a little less ton–"

"Okay, okay, I get the point," Percy said hurriedly, and Annabeth finally let herself laugh.  

"Don't worry, you're better than all of them put together." Annabeth said, reaching around her own head and patting his with her spare hand.

"Are you sure you're not just saying that?" Percy asked.

"Mm. Might have to double check." Annabeth said, keeping her voice as serious as she could possibly make it.

"Oh yeah?" Percy said, and it was a dare to him now, which meant that teasing him so much had either been a bad idea, or a really really good one.

"Yeah." Annabeth said, and in a strange way she felt freer than she had before. Like a huge weight had been lifted off her chest.

Annabeth breathed in the salty sea air, revelling in the inhale. She might've started to cry if he hadn't kissed her then, but it was just as well. They had plenty of time.

[onlyhereforangst]

I think Emily made the decision last minute to leave. One thing I noticed is that Katrina laws character was introduced as a mother with a stay at home husband in all the reports in March. Originally she was cast to replace Maria Bello so she did not need to be a potential love match for Torres. I think in this time from when her character was first introduced in the press(March) to when she stepped foot on set Emily made the decision to leave.This is why the writing team changed the premise of Jessica Knight to form a replacement for the Ellick ship because it was at this time they knew it wouldn't be happening anymore as Emily would be leaving. Thus, they decided to make Jessica knight a possible love match for Torres to replace the void from Ellick. It seems to be too much of a coincidence and also her first episode her and Torres were very flirty. Also, Wilmer did a ton of interviews about the finale saying grab your tissues and this is the closest to a friendship or a relationship they are ever going to have so he hinted prior to the finale that the Ellick ship was doomed. It is driving me mad that we had no clear picture of what their relationship was after the elevator talk. I think they got together as Ellie said 'I never meant for us to happen' but then she felt guilty because she knew she was leaving and 'blew him off' as he said without reason. That seems to be the most logical assumption. What do you think?

ok so i've let this sit for two weeks, i apologize. i still have a hard time digging into this stuff specifically because i like to live in denial that Emily isn't returning. i can bargain the remainder of the finale away if i forget that Emily isn't coming back. but i'm having a particularly depressive day in regards to her exit so why the hell not twist the knife a little harder and clear out my inbox 🙃 imma put it under the cut though for aesthetically-appeasing dash purposes and long posts

first- i 100% agree that Emily's decision to leave was a last minute *announcement* and i clarify that because i have to genuinely believe that Emily wouldn't take this decision lightly knowing her fanbase. i of course could be wrong about that, but even if i come off as a bitch to people i do like to give people the benefit of the doubt, always. so while I do think Emily didn't come into this decision willy-nilly (and i'm not going to speculate on her reasons for leaving- it's her own life she can choose to live it however she pleases), it does feel as if she didn't announce it to the show until, IMO after they wrapped all filming.

the finale was certainly more akin to a multi-episode arc for a character and plotline, not a final exit episode. Wilmer boasted great cliffhangers and a tear-filled episode because yes, they thought Ellie was ditching and betraying the team- that's heavy angst stuff! And yes we got a taste of ellick being *real* and even got a kiss- of course in his interviews he thought this was going to be good stuff for the fans. all the actors (Wilmer especially though) and the main social media accounts of the show did a shit-ton of promotion for the episodes leading up to the finale and then after 18x15 aired, the week prior everyone and i mean everyone went radio silent. i'm sorry but who THE FUCK does that when you are supposedly airing this big action-filled, cliffhanger, "true" finale that we deserved because s17 didn't get to have one??? NO ONE. the answer is no one. shows that want ratings (aka all shows, it’s a business) promote their fucking finale. they fucking do. my theory? in between that last week, Emily announced to the cast/crew/EPs that she wouldn’t be returning for s19. and then that leaves them with a WTF finale because that’s a shitty write off for a character who spent 8 years on the show. and now, suddenly, the show would prefer as little as viewership as possible to help minimize the backlash. Wilmer does absolutely zero promotion, zero farewell to his co-actor and good friend of 5 years. so yeah, i think her last minute exit was a last minute announcement and it had everyone reeling, understandably. hopefully one day we’ll get answers on the why because between me and you- that’s what absolutely fucking destroys me. for both the actress and the character; not knowing why Ellie did what she did and feeling a little betrayed Emily left and we got so little why and acknowledgement and heads up for it. 

anyways, so i don’t think Wilmer was lying in those interviews, i think he was truly excited about the arc and what that meant for their characters. he could have been just as blindsided with her announcement as we were 🥺

as for Katrina Law’s character- that is a little intriguing because you’re right, when she was initially introduced it was as a married woman with an infant child and stay at home husband. zero of this has been mentioned and Katrina Law herself has taken to twitter with Diona to support a Kasie/Jessica ship. so i’m not sure what her background is, if they writers changed it at all or what. BUT i don’t see them putting Jessica and Nick together. I actually didn’t see those scenes as them flirting at all- more of falling into step as good pals, very reminiscent of Ziva and Nick’s relationship frankly. If Emily’s announcement of her leaving truly was last minute, to everyone including the show, I don’t see the writers and EPs putting them together. I see them scrambling to fix their destroyed cliffhanger arc they had teed up and likely writing a desolate Nick or a vengeful swan Nick. I do not see them giving him a new love interest *unless* they decide to go 2 for 2 with character assassinations and have him regress so far and erase all his growth. but you know who the fuck knows with this shit show 🥲🥲

ok and finally ahaha this is why i did a cut. can y’all imagine what will happen if/when i ever do a wwr? 😅 i’m in the boat that they were *not* a thing, ever. i’m in the boat that that was their first kiss. and i’ll probably break this down more at a later date, TBD because when the fuck will i be strong enough to rewatch the entire finale i almost cried this morning watching 13x10. BUT her “i didn’t mean for us to happen” to me was more of a i didn’t mean for us to slowly fall in love and go from partners to best friends to almost lovers. because i think they both acknowledged their feelings during The Talk™️ but i feel like they both mutually agreed that they needed to take it slow or weren’t sure how to take that next step and they sort of tabled the discussion and stalled in their relationship. then, (since i’m in the camp that Ellie did none of this fully willingly, and instead Odette is holding something over her) Ellie “blew him off” after Odette decided it was now (”now...wasn’t my choice” aka i think Odette got worried about Ellie having strings attached and weaknesses) by saying they should definitely take it slow because of the nature of their jobs (”if we had a normal 9-5″...”i get that, i do”). i think Nick accepted that excuse at the time and then when the pieces clicked at the end of the finale, he realized this whole stupid ass mission was the reason she tried to slow them down/push him away. all that to say, i’m still believing that was their first kiss until Ellie turns up pregnant with Nick’s kid because WHY NOT REUSE OLD STORYLINES WHY THE FUCK NOT WE’VE ALREADY COME THIS FAR. 

[jofcreman]

following the footsteps 

of a rag doll dance ;

we are entranced -  s p e l l b o u n d. [ meet joanie. ]

who’s that? oh it’s JOANNE ‘JO’ FOREMAN. i hear they’re TWENTY-TWO and are known as THE MEDIA MACHINE around DOWNTOWN HAWKINS. they’re also a JOURNALIST at THE HAWKINS POST,. they’re known to be SHARP + HUMOROUS and NOSY + ABRASIVE. some people say they remind them of:

stereo turned way up loud to drown out the screams telling you to ‘turn it down, young lady!’ 

 cloud of cigarette smoke following you everywhere you go

 drowning out the world with your walkman clasped onto your belt

 worn out doc martens that cling to you like a second skin

an unquenchable thirst for the truth

BASIC INFORMATION

full name: joanne foreman

nickname(s): jo, jojo, joanie

age: twenty-two

hometown: hawkins, indiana

current location: hawkins, indiana

orientation: bisexual

FAMILY

father: adam foreman

mother: midge foreman

siblings: jack foreman (younger brother), ___ foreman (older sister)

jo, jojo, joanie, almost everything’s fine except for ‘joanne’, she hates that name with a fiery passion. born and raised in hawkins, hasn’t been out of town for more than, like, a month or two, on school trips or summer camps. her parents are probably the most boring people on earth, with their little happy nuclear family and a house on elm street. living the dream of their generation, but jo’s dreams are bigger and they don’t fit anymore, no space in that big fucking house for her to let her imagination run wild.

there’s her perfect older sister, her perfect younger brother and, as expected, she’s the middle child and.. well, who knows what went wrong with that one? the way she dresses, her hair, the sort of music she listens to defies everything that her parents deem proper and good, everything they’ve worked for, shattering their perfect image. but jo’s not doing any of it to actively ‘rebel’ against her parents lifestyle, she really doesn’t give a rat’s ass about that, she just does what brings her pleasure, what she enjoys. no biggie.

despite being somewhat of an outcast she sails through school with flying colours, decides against college and scores a gig at the hawkins post. and she’s content with that, she’s been interning there since sophomore year, so really, jo thinks she deserves it. and she even gets treated a little less shitty by her employers now, so that’s a win! though she’s never been treated particularly bad, either - jo likes to think her more adrogynous nature and her ‘i’ll take no shit’ attitude contributed to that. aside from the fact that her dad’s editor in chief at another local paper, slightly bigger one. but she doesn’t want to have her success determined by her father’s.

 she’s in charge of sorting through the rough draft of stories and news, discards the many … weird clues that people are calling in, those can go to the weekly watcher. jo doesn’t buy the bullshit about the town being ‘cursed’ or whatever. it’s just a small town, there’s literally nothing more to it.

although lately, she’s begun to wonder if there could possibly be some truth behind it. because she’s been experiencing it herself. flickering lights, the way the energy shifts around her, she can feel it. and it’s happening so often now, this is past the realms of coincidence, jo is sure. she’s always had dreams of being a bigshot writer but investigative journalist, yeah, that’ll do, too. she’s gonna get to the bottom of this, if it’s the last thing she ever does (which it hopefully won’t be).

she’s never been particularly close to her brother jack, well, they used to get along great as kids all the way through middle school. then jo started high school, jack followed and started hanging with the popular crowd, jocks, people who openly mocked her and that caused them to drift apart. she’s always been content, being a weirdo, stops people approaching you. she’d often thought about ... making amends, trying to get closert to him again. he was her brother, after all.

but that never happened, jack disappeared sometime around summer 1986. right before the mall fire struck the town. and now that he’s back - jo can’t help but think that it’s... weird. why on earth would her star student athlete brother willingly go and join some sort of commune in the woods for two years? why didn’t he say anything? why does she distinctly remember him acting awfully weird those last two weeks before he went missing? 

just more fuel for her ongoing investigation. hawkins, indiana - bring it on.

[bokukawas]

Drunken Mess

pairing; Kuroo Tetsuro  x Reader

warnings; alcohol, suggestive in the end, some grabbing from some random stranger

a/n; ok guys, enjoy, this took me forever to write and idk, i just hope someone here likes it ♥

summary; when you have a shitty day and then your boyfriend presses all the wrong buttons upon his return , you just need a little alcohol to keep your sanity… and maybe have a drink too much

word count; 6k, I actually planned to keep this short. WELL HUH jokes on me, right? 

The only thing that got you through the day was the thought, that when you came home later, your boyfriend would be back from his training camp with his team. Because, seriously, today had sucked. You had to take a double shift at work, because a colleague had called in sick and all the customers had just been annoying and rude. You had expected working in retail to suck, but compared to the reality your imagination was a fucking dream come true. Retail was the worst. The absolute fucking worst. And no one could truly understand it if they haven’t worked in retail at least once in their life.

By the time you could clock out, you were nearly crying from frustration. You were so eager to see Kuroo and leave your work; you nearly ran the whole way home.

When you finally arrived home, you could already see light seep out from under the door, which meant he actually was home already. Your heart made an involuntarily somersault as you pushed the door open and yelled “I’m home!” with a huge smile plastered on your face. You had missed him terribly. Yet instead of your boyfriends loving arms around you, you just found the mess he somehow managed to produce in less than a day. Your smile slipped just as fast as it had appeared. “Kuroo, what the actual fuck!?” No answer to that.

You could see him, lying on the couch, one leg slung over the back of it, controller in one hand, a piece of pizza in the other, headset on his head, while he cackled. He didn’t even seem to hear you. And damn it stung. You waited the whole day with dinner so you could eat together with your boyfriend. And not only that, you had cleaned the whole house before he returned, so you could just relax together once he was back, hell, you even dumped your friends who wanted to go out and have a girls night, and this was how it turns out?

With watering eyes, you inspected the spectacular mess in front of you. Eyes flicking from the kitchen, where he obviously already made ramen before he ordered pizza, to the living room where the whole content of his sports bag seems to just have been dumped on the floor. Then to the bathroom, where the door was open and showed the still wet tiles and a towel carelessly thrown in the middle of it, fog still clinging to the mirror, because he once again had not opened the goddamn window.

In that moment all you could feel inside of you, was burning anger and huge disappointment. It was not the first time you had asked him to just please be a little bit more considerate of you. Why didn’t he fucking get it? The damn flat didn’t magically clean itself; it was all you who did it. The mess he made in literally only a few hours felt like a punch in the face.

Clenching your fist, you angrily throw your bag into the mess he already made, which seemed to finally get his attention. Head popping up from the couch, he pulled down his headset a bit and looks over to you: “Oh hey kitten, didn’t hear you come home.”

“Yeah never mind”, you spit, “continue your thing there, I’m gonna be gone soon anyways.”

You slip out of your sneakers, phone already in your hand to call one of your friends.

“S’ something wrong, kitten?” Kuroo sets down his headset, mustering you with concern in his eyes. Obviously something was wrong, but his brain still felt foggy with exhaustion from all the training he had pushed himself and his team through this week.

The answer came in the slamming of the bedroom door, where you had disappeared.

He sighs and briefly puts his headset back on to give his friends a heads up: “Guys, I’ll be back later, seems like somethings wrong with Y/N”, then he left the game and stood up, slowly walking to your shared bedroom, before he tentatively knocks on the door.

“Y/n, what’s wrong? Did something happen at work? Are you alright?” Upon not getting an answer, he pushed down the latch, only to find that you had locked the door. He silently swears. It had to be bad when you actually locked him out. “C’mon hun, don’t be like that. Talk to me.” Door rattling followed, which you blatantly ignore.

You were sitting on the bed, which was, of fucking course, not made any more and stripped out of your work clothes, throwing them carelessly on the floor. The damage was already done, what bad could your few clothes be then, right?

It was then, that Miwa finally picked up. “Oh hey, Y/n, whats up? I thought you were having some quality time with Kuroo?” You could hear loud voices talking in the back; she must have gone outside to answer your call.

“Yeah you know what? I thought so, too. Plan has changed, though. Where are you? Mind if I join you? I need a drink.”

“Are you alright, Y/n? You sound a little upset?”

“Miwa, for god’s sake, just tell me where you are so I can join you. I’m going to explode if I stay here any minute longer.”

You could hear Miwa sigh into the phone. “That bad, huh? We’re at our usual place.”

“Good, I’ll be there in twenty.” You hang up and throw your phone into the pillow and start rummaging through your closet, finding one of the dresses you like very much, but never actually wear, because it is actually very short. Well, fuck it, you think to yourself and put it on, together with your new high heels. Quickly freshening up your smudged make-up, you grab your keys and your clutch and brace yourself for your escape. Because that was exactly what you were doing: escaping from this whole mess.

Then, you unlock the door and push it open, marching straight for the door, which was, of course, blocked by your boyfriend, who was leaning against it and now eyeing you from head to toe. He probably had heard you talk to Miwa and taken his position at the door right away. He did not comment on your outfit though, having the good sense to know he was walking on very thin ice.

“Going somewhere?”

“I’m going out with my friends. At least I would like to, but someone is standing in the way. Do you mind?” You look up at him and give him one of your perfect angelic smiles as you try to squeeze through. Even though you were wearing your heels, your boyfriend was a goddamn giant and he somehow managed to still be taller, which was mildly frustrating at the moment.

He does not budge; not even an inch.

“Are we not going to talk about what is going on? Because something clearly is going on.”

“I’d actually rather go right now.”

Kuroo could basically feel the passive aggressive energy radiating from you, but still, he didn’t budge. He didn’t even have the chance to talk to you yet, what could he possibly have done to upset you so much that you could not even stand to be in the same room as him? It was a mystery to him.

“Y/n, please.” He reaches out a hand to brush a thumb against your cheek, because he knows how much you always enjoy these little affectionate gestures, but he stops right in his tracks, when he found you staring at him with barely withhold anger. He was surprised that you did not swat at his still outstretched hand.

“Move Kuroo, I mean it.” And when you try to squeeze through this time, he lets you.

You were rarely in such a bad mood and he knew when he needed to let you cool off, first. As you walk by him, he catches your wrist in the last second, holding you still for a moment. “At least send me a text when you get there, alright?” he whispers while brushing his thumb once over your veins and then lifting your hand up to press a soft kiss against the palm of it.

The urge to just turn around and press your head into your boyfriends’ chest right then was overwhelming, but you were still so mad that you stubbornly continued on your way, leaving Kuroo standing there, watching you go.

When he turns around to go back into the flat, he feels like a train hit him as he takes in the mess he made. “Oh fuck.” He groans as he ruffles his spiky hair, because how could he be so stupid. Of course you would be mad if you came home to such a mess. The worst part was, that he didn’t even contain his chaos in one room, no, he seriously fucked up the whole flat, which by second thought, you had probably cleaned just hours before. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Your foul mood suddenly made sense to him. Groaning again, he closes the door behind him and goes to the kitchen. He better gets rid of this whole mess before you come home later. But first, he wants to apologize. Fishing out his phone out of his joggers, he opens the chat with you and freezes all over again. There it was, black on white. Dinner later, Tetsu? We can order from your fav restaurant if you like ♥

Oh sweet fucking hell, he was the biggest douche in the whole wide world. How could he forget that you two wanted to eat together? “Ah shit.”

He types out a quick message to you. Y/n I’m so sorry. I’m the biggest idiot in the world. You can punch me later if you still feel like it. I sure as hell deserve it. Pls text me when you get there safely. I love you.

Kuroo really wants to kick his own ass in that moment. You were always so good to him, going out of your way to make the time you got to spend together as pleasurable as possible, taking time where you actually had none to spare and just simply spoiling him in any way possible and this was how he treated you? He didn’t even kiss you when you got home, which was funny, because it was one of the only thoughts in his head, besides volleyball this whole past week. The feeling of your soft lips against his.

He was not surprised that he didn’t get a message back, but he still unmuted his phone, just in case you called him when you had enough and wanted to go home.

Then he starts cleaning up his mess.

You on the other hand nearly arrived at the bar where you and your friends usually met up once a month to keep in touch. You already regretted wearing your new heels. As you turned the next corner, you could already spot the bar and with it, a whole lot of people standing outside at high tables. Your friends amongst one of them.

“Hey ladies”, you call out as you get closer. “Long time no see.”

Fighting a smile to your face, you found your place right next to Miwa, who gently nudges you in the side.

“Stop that grimace and tell us what happened.”

Alisa, who was standing in front of you, just reaches over the table, takes your hand in hers and squeezes it softly.

“Actually, I think I’d rather have a drink first”, you moan.

One drink followed the next and your friends realized later, that they probably should have stopped you after your 5th cocktail or so. Which they didn’t, because you spilled your heart out to them, nearly crying a few times, which was rare to see, because usually you managed to keep your cool in front of others, even your own friends. Moreover, the drink in your hand seemed to be the only thing holding you together. They were a little taken aback, too, because you usually were a very good drinker, and could handle alcohol very well; but by the time you went inside to dance and just bumped into stranger after stranger while trying to walk a straight line, they figured you probably had not eaten anything before coming here.

Miwa squinched up her face. “She’s gonna feel even worse tomorrow. We should probably get her home.”

Alisa just nods, before sprinting in your direction as she witnessed you tumbling into a group of men, of which one luckily caught you in his arms, before you hit the floor, but then couldn’t keep his hands to himself. You just laughed, not realizing what was going on and not feeling the hand, currently sneaking up your leg. Everything looked dizzy and swayed and you felt a little funny in the head. Vaguely you realize that Alisa was arguing with the man who stopped your fall and then her face popped up in front of you, asking you were your phone was.

You look at her irritated, not quite understanding what she wanted.

“C’mon y/n, where is your goddamn phone.”

“My clutch?”

Miwa suddenly popped up next to you, steadying you and gently guiding you to an abandoned empty chair. “Sit.”

Alisa rummaged through your clutch, only to find your purse and your house keys…but no phone.

“Your phone is not in here y/n. Are you sure it was in your clutch?” she looks at you questioningly, with her big green eyes, which were all you could focus on. She always looks so pretty.

„Focus y/n!“

You thought back to when you left the flat… “I think I …left it on the bed”, you mumble, eyes suddenly growing very heavy. Leaning heavily against Miwa, your head lolls against her shoulder. You inhale deeply. Miwa always managed to smell so good; you wonder how she does it. The girls just shared a concerned look. You couldn’t even sit upright on that damn chair, how were they supposed to get you home.

“We need to call Kuroo”, Miwa states, while brushing some strands of hair out of your face. You didn’t seem to notice.

“That was my plan. But I don’t have his number… do you?” Miwas face was answer enough. That’s when Saeko popped up next to them. “Hey girls, I made it after all.” She grinned happily at all of you. “What’s wrong with this one here, though?” She nudges you in the side, which was rewarded with a lazy grunt from you and a silent curse from Miwa as you tipped dangerously to the side.

“Is she drunk!? I don’t think I’ve ever seen her drunk. What happened?” Saeko seemed mildly concerned, which leads to Miwa and Alisa freaking out a little. Saeko usually doesn’t show concern, so it must be just as bad as they imagined.

“Do you have Kuroos number?” Alisa asked her without answering her question in return, not letting her eyes stray from your face, as you looked ghostly white at the moment and started mumbling random things under your breath.

“No? But you have? Right?”

They both shake their heads. Saeko sighs and mumbles something under her breath, which rather sounded, like ‘I should’ve just gone straight home’, before facing Alisa.

“Call your brother then. He must have his number.”

“Oh my god, Saeko you are a genius.”

“Thanks, I know.”

With another concerned look your way, Alisa left your side to go outside and call her brother. She just hoped he would pick up, since it was already the middle of the night.

Meanwhile Kuroo was sitting on the couch, worriedly glancing at the clock all few seconds and constantly brushing his fingers through his hair. No wonder you hadn’t texted him back, he had found your phone lying on his pillow as he had made the bed again. This meant, you were out, with no phone and no means to contact him if something was wrong. He didn’t like that one bit. The worst part was that he couldn’t even blame someone for it, besides himself. This was his fault and he knew it all too well. Scratching at his scalp, he tried to calm down a bit. He knew you could take care of yourself; your small figure belied the strength you actually had, but still. There was always a chance that something happened. So when his phone started ringing he answered it in seconds, without even looking who was calling first. It just had to be you, right?

“Y/n?” he nearly yelped in the phone.

“No, this is Lev.”

Kuroo nearly lost it then, breathing heavily and punching the pillow right next to him, he thought he was going to combust any second.

“What is it Lev? It’s the middle of the night!”

“Yeah, I know, I was sleeping until my sister called me.” Now that he mentioned it, Kuroo could hear the slight strain in Levs voice, as if he had just gotten up.

“It’s about y/n, though. They are worried and would like you to come and pick her up. Apparently she didn’t have her phone with her and got stupidly drunk.” He paused. “…did you have a fight? Are you alright?”

Kuroo swallowed.

“Just tell me where they are, please.” And so Lev does.

“Tell your sister I’ll be there soon… and thank you, Lev. Sorry that you got involved in this.”

“Yeah, yeah. G’night.” with that, he just hung up on Kuroo, probably eager to get into bed again. Kuroo couldn’t even blame him for that, he was tired, too, but he swore he wouldn’t go to bed before you got home safely.

He gets up, just grabs his wallet, keys and his sweater and was out the door in seconds, running all the way to the bar. Never before had it been so bad, that your friends were concerned about you. You had always gotten home on your own, or were sober enough to just give him a call, or get a taxi. Your alcohol tolerance was quite high, too, but alas, you hadn’t eaten today. That was probably the problem.

Alisa spotted him from afar and just starts waving. She was impressed at how fast he was, it hadn’t even been 10 minutes since the call. When she saw him up close though, she realized that he was sweating and breathing hard. He must have run the whole way here.

“Jeez, Kuroo you look like you might pass out any second.”

“Thanks, it’s nice to see you, too Alisa. Now, where is she?”

He didn’t even look Alisa in the face, his eyes scanning the crowd around them, searching for your face.

“Inside. C’mon.”

He follows her tall blonde form through the masses, until she stops in front of a chair. An empty chair. He could barely hear her curse under her breath.

Kuroos head snaps up, when he could hear a commotion start on the dance floor.

There you were, the hands of some random stranger draped across you, while you danced as if you didn’t even notice. Which of course, you didn’t. Not really. You just enjoyed the lights and the music and silently swayed to the rhythm of it, being a little surprised that the world suddenly didn’t seem so shaky anymore. Your back felt warm, too, which was at the same time pleasant and very unpleasant at once. Something somehow felt wrong, but you couldn’t pinpoint what it was. You were just happy that you somehow managed to get yourself drunken enough, to stop thinking about how little your boyfriend seemed to care about you.

Kuroos eyes wander to the two females next to you, desperately trying to pry the hands off that damn stranger of your dancing form, but they were both so small compared to the guy, it was useless.

He lost it the moment said stranger seemed to thrust his hips into your back. Miwa and Saeko spotted him just the second he lunged at the person, shoving him away.

“Get your filthy hands off of my girlfriend!”

The guy of course didn’t like being handled that way and was in Kuroos face the very next instance. “What’s your problem man? It didn’t seem to me that she didn’t like it.”

Miwa winced. She had seen Kuroo lose his cool once before, and it hadn’t ended very well for the other dude. He had him up by his collar at once, sneering in his face “she’s so drunk she probably doesn’t even remember her own name and you want to tell me she liked it?” He shook the stranger, muscles flexing under his T-Shirt.  “Get the fuck out of my eyes.”

With that, he shoves him so hard that the guy loses his balance and falls face down onto the dance floor.

Your world had become very wobbly again, as soon as the somewhat steadying hands had left your hips. Tumbling to the side, you were caught in strong arms again. Your boyfriend’s arms.

“C’mon kitten, we’re going.”

“Wha-? Kuroo?” Were you hallucinating now? “No I don’t want to go. I want to dance.” You wind your way out of his arms, only to stagger once again.

Kuroo exhales once again and tries to pull himself together, looking at your friends who all watch you with deep worry in their eyes. “How much exactly did she drink?”

Alisa nervously twirls her hair around her finger, not wanting to look him in the eyes. Your boyfriend could be scary, especially if he was worried about you. “Don’t know… I kinda lost count after her 5th cocktail or so… she might have had some drinks on the dance floor, too.”

Kuroo breathes in deeply, watching you as you tried to dance, which was actually just staggering from one side to the other, trying not to fall on your face. He was low key impressed that you had not already broken your ankles in those heels. Trying to remain calm and reminding himself that in fact, this was his fault and he couldn’t get angry with anybody else, he sighs again, starts fumbling in his pocket to get his wallet out and pushes some money in Alisas hand.

“Here, for her drinks. I’m pretty sure she didn’t pay for them herself, did she? Well, never mind. We are going now. Thanks for reaching out to me.”

And with that, he appears next to you again, draping his sweater around your hips to keep your very short dress from flashing anyone, before crouching down and just throwing you over his shoulder.

“Hey, what the hell!? KUROO! Put me down, I don’t want to go!” you slur, as he starts to push his way through the crowd.

“Good thing I’m not asking then.”

Your friends watch as your boyfriend singlehandedly maneuvers you two outside, sighing in unison as you leave the club.

“Wow. That was intense”, Saeko deadpans.

Miwa nods. “He was so calm, though? The last time I saw someone touch y/n with Kuroo around, the guy had a broken nose afterwards. I was a little scared for a second there.”

“He must have been really worried. Lev told me he seemed really agitated, which is rare for him. He’s usually very composed.”

They sigh in unison again. “We better call her tomorrow and ask if she’s alright”, Miwa states, to which the others all nod. Saeko starts grinning a moment later. “I’m pretty sure Kuroo is gonna take good care of her now, so let’s not worry. The night is still young.” She throws her arms around the waists of her friends and pulls them all in direction of the dance floor.

 Meanwhile your world shakes violently with every step your boyfriend makes and your hair was jumping in tact with it. His shoulder blade pressed very uncomfortably into your stomach. You could feel the warmth radiating from his hand at the back of your knee, where he gripped you softly to keep you steady.

You hadn’t spoken to him since he had thrown you over his shoulder and just marched out of the bar. In fact, you felt a little ashamed. It had been years since you had gotten so drunk you could barely stand. It was a mystery to you, how he even knew where you were.

Another step, another bounce, another uncomfortable press against your roaring stomach. You clutch your hands into the hem of Kuroos shirt, trying to steady yourself a bit, inhaling his familiar smell and focusing on that, instead of the turmoil in your stomach and your head.

Kuroo of course feels you clench fistfuls of his shirt and slows down a bit, throwing a glance over his shoulder. “Kitten, you alright there?”

The fresh air had sobered you up quite a bit and you were fully aware of the gentle grip your boyfriend had on you, same as the every so often brush of his thumb across your thigh.

Since you didn’t answer, he just presses a quick kiss to your leg and then continues on his way, a little more slowly, but still persistent. You groan, as the nauseous feeling in your stomach got overwhelming. Not only that, but you could also feel your feet burning and hurting. Those heels were really not the best choice for tonight.

“Y/n?” he stops once more and tries to look over his shoulder again.

“First of all Kuroo, I’m still mad at you, secondly I feel like I might puke any minute if your shoulder is gonna press in my stomach again and last of all, my feet hurt.”

It occurred to you that you were whining, but how could you not? Today has been hell and now everything hurts and you couldn’t even just press your head into your boyfriends’ chest because you were supposed to be mad at him.

“Hold on a sec, hun.”

“I mean it Tetsu, I’m gonna puke.”

Kuroo smiles at that, not because it was fun to him that you had so much to drink that you felt like puking, but because you used his first name…which in conclusion meant you weren’t in fact as mad as you tried to be.

He could already see his target at the end of the street, so he just ignored you and walks on a few minutes longer.

“Ok, I’m going to put you down now, be ready.”

He slowly lets you slide down on his front, so that you were now standing in front of him. His hands were on your hips, steadying you slightly in case you still needed it. You wince as your feet hit the ground, your heels pressing against every sore spot on them. Kuroo could tell you were avoiding looking in his face, even though he stood right in front of you.

Sighing, he puts his slender index finger under your chin and lifts your head up, so you had no choice but to look at him. “I’m sorry Y/n, I was a total dick earlier and I didn’t even realize it. But for now, can we ignore that so that I can take care of you properly? Please?”

Damn it, it wasn’t fair. As you look into his catlike, earnest eyes, so full of love and concern for you, you could already feel your anger melt away. “You’re the worst, Tetsu.” Your words significance was betrayed by the fact that you leaned your head against his shoulder the exact same instance and inhaled deeply. He chuckles deeply at that and presses a soft kiss against your neck, holding you a little while longer.

“Sit down here for a bit kitten, I will be right back.” He guides you to a bench right in front of the 24/7 he had aimed for, noticing you were still very unsteady on your feet and actually limping now. After you sat down, he squats down in front of you and takes your foot in his hands. “Let me see.” He slowly peels off your shoes and inhales sharply through his teeth. “Damn hun, you really butchered your feet.” You decided you didn’t even want to see it and just wriggled your toes at the new found freedom.

“Yeah, I’ll be right back”, and with that he rushes into the store behind you.

After a few minutes, you feel something cold against your cheek. “Here, drink.”

You take the bottle of water out of his hands, suddenly feeling very thirsty and drink a few mouthfuls, as he squats down in front of you again, inspecting your feet once more, before applying patches at the worst spots. When he was finished, he just looks up at your exhausted form in front of him, bracing his hands on your knees, his thumbs already drawing gentle patterns across your skin. It seemed cold to you suddenly and you shiver, which leads to Kuroo taking off the sweater he had put around your waist and pulling it over your head.

“C’mon, let’s get you home.” He grabs your shoes, and turns around, squatting again in front of you, his back muscles flexing under the shirt as he motions for you to get on. With a sigh you did exactly that. No way in hell would you walk the next 10 minutes home on your own two feet. You put your arms around his neck and try a weak little jump to get on his back, which was rewarded with an amused chuckle by your boyfriend. Luckily, he caught your legs just fine and adjusted you on his back with a little wiggle, so that he now could give you a proper piggyback ride home.

“Y/n?” he asks as you got closer and closer to your home, already walking up the stairs to your shared flat.

“Hm?”

“I love you.”                            

Ah damn that bastard really knew how to play you. Even though you could feel your insides warm up at that, you thought he could feel bad a little more, so you didn’t comment on it, as he puts the key in the locker and opens the door.

The moment he switched the light on, though, you couldn’t hold back anymore.

“Ah fuck Tetsu, I love you, too. Asshole.” That made him laugh in return. It seems like he had cleaned the whole flat after you rushed out to drink yourself stupid.

“I realized why you were so mad the moment I turned around to go back in here”, he confesses and slowly lets you down from his back. “And as I said before, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I was a total douchebag.” He comes to stand in front of you and puts your face into his hands. “Can you forgive this asshole?”

You punch his chest in return. “Stop being cute!”

“Can you forgive me? Pleaseee?”

He actually pouts as he squishes your cheeks, already knowing he had won. You tried to fight the smile that wanted to spread on your face at the ridiculous show of your huge boyfriend pouting in front of you, but you fail miserably.

“Just kiss me already, idiot.”

So he did, his one hand sliding from your cheek to your neck, as his lips press against yours in a feather light touch. Your own hand finds its way into his hair at once, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss, as the other steadies you against his hips. He sighs contentedly in the kiss, brushing his lips against yours as he mumbles “I missed you so much”, before kissing you again, this time a little more hungrily. Your lips move eagerly against each other and after a little while, you feel his tongue grace against your lips, which makes you shudder. Your knees started feeling dangerously wobbly again. Luckily, he had already pulled you flush against him and now lifted you up by putting his hands under your ass to carry you to the bedroom, where he gently lays you down on the bed, before slowly climbing on top of you.

You smile fondly at his expression as he kisses you repeatedly, every kiss getting a little rougher than the last one, moving your lips in time with his and then there was his tongue, finally in your mouth. He could still taste the alcohol on your lips.

When he finally breaks away from you, you were both panting. Your hands were gripping his shirt greedily and you were already pulling him down on you again, wanting more. God his kisses gave you life.

“I’m not sure we should go there today, kitten, as much as I’d like to. You’re still very much drunk, and I’d like you to feel and remember all of what I plan to do to you.”

He smirks and plants another kiss on your lips, teeth grazing teasingly against them as he did so, then snorting at the bewildered and somewhat outraged look you gave him when he pulled away. You were clawing at his biceps the moment he starts to get up from you, trying to pull him down again and groaning when you realized you were going to lose against his strength.

“Tetsuro”, you moaned in a last attempt to get him back to you, which made him freeze on the spot. “Wow you’re mean, kitten, but still no.”

And with that, he simply helps you get out of his sweater and your dress, always swatting your grabbing hands away, before he manhandles you into the bathroom to get you ready for bed.

You were getting pissed at him again, because first, he got you hot and bothered and then he didn’t want to do something about it. How rude. That would get him payback, you swore to yourself.

Still, not even your naked form had him thinking twice about his choice, he simply wrangles one of his tees over your head and pulls you flush against him in your shared bed, having a death grip on you, so you couldn’t even move around, as much as you tried.

“Sleep now kitten, and then maybe tomorrow I’ll give you what you want so desperately right now.”

He runs a hand down your side teasingly and you could feel his smile against your forehead at the way your body quivers against him.

“On second thought, I think I’m not able to forgive you yet, you are actually the worst”, you mumble against his chest. He only acknowledges this with another kiss against your forehead. Still, somehow your boyfriend had made the right call, because it only took you seconds to fall asleep in his warm embrace. 

He watches your sleeping form on his chest fondly, pressing little kisses to your face from time to time and thinking to himself, that he deserves a price for self-control, because he seriously had not wanted to restrain himself at all.

Groaning, he presses another kiss to your face as he sleepily mumbles, “I love you, Y/n.” before squishing you even more against his chest. This was what he had longed for all week after all, he thought to himself, as he tried to ignore the bulge in his pants. This was going to be an extremely long and very torturous night for him… he just hopes he would fall asleep just as fast as you did. Morning could not come fast enough…

[mx-barnes]

Soulmate AU Pt.7

Summary: When you turn 18 you get the name of a song on your wrist. That is the song you and your soulmate share. It is also how you can communicate with them.

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: swearing, implied smut (I suck at writing smut so this is for the best), talk of abduction, a little bit of Bucky's trauma, pet names, Sad!Bucky, think that's it.

A/n:Sorry that this chapter is so short I am camping this week and wanted you guys to have a new part out. So I finished this before camping, I'll be logging off for the week I have a few things queued but not much. Sorry I will be back next week with my regularly scheduled post. Not edited, Charaters not my own (Marvel don't sue me) Gif not my own.

Chapter 6 Masterlist

The next morning you woke up to find James still in bed with you. You figured he’d already be up but apparently he wasn’t a morning person either. Last night was amazing you had shown him where you grew up. He seemed so entranced by everything. Maybe it was the fact that you were talking a mile a minute or he was just happy to be there with you.

Honestly, he seemed like a great guy. He hadn’t pushed you into anything last night which you know from your own shitty experiences can happen. Most of the men and women you dated tended to have an expectancy. That if you were laying down in their bed or even laying down in your bed that something was going to happen. But James didn’t seem to be like that. You were grateful.

Yes, you were soulmates. Yes, you were “made for each other” but you wanted to take it slow until you couldn’t handle slow anymore. You wanted to build a relationship first not just jump straight in. He may be your soulmate but you’ve heard of instances where soulmates moved too fast and ended up hating each other. You didn’t want that. You want a best friend, someone you could depend on.

You felt the figure stir beside you pulling you out of your thoughts. “Mornin’ doll. You sleep well?” His morning voice was beautiful. It was just the right amount of gravely to the deep tone. This man had you just swooning at his voice.

“Ya I slept great what about you handsome?” You said placing a hand on his shoulder as you snuggled closer to him.

“It was one of the best sleeps I’ve had in a while. So,” he paused looking down and chewing on his bottom lip. “My arm.”

“What do you mean your arm?” you pulled back to look at him.

“It’s- well it's metal,” he stuttered. Scared that you would reject him. Push him away maybe if you hadn’t already connected the dots. See that he was a terrible person.

“So. Listen, James,” the way you said his name made butterflies rupture in his stomach. “I can’t change it. I know about your past but everyone is so much more than their past. If we lived in the past we wouldn’t go anywhere. So as long as you don’t judge me on my past I won’t judge you on yours. We all have a story but each day we have a blank page. That story may be filled with unknown horrors but the fact that you are here and can share those horrors if you so choose is proof enough that you are a strong and capable man.”

"But if you know my past you know I killed hundreds. You deserve better than that. You deserve someone better. Someone who is broken. Some who can gi-"

"Stop. If the universe put us together it must have a reason. It must have a reason and this is not me rationalizing this. I want to be with you. You were brainwashed those terrible acts the other guy did was not your fault. You are enough for me. You are more than enough for me. Last night you followed me around my childhood home where I talked a mile a minute and you were probably bored out of your mind but you sat and listened. I talk too much, I ramble but you sat and listened to me. Listen James I know your past from the media, but I want to know your past. I want to get to know the real you. Not the one the media portrays, not the one you probably put on when you go to your therapist, the real you,” you rambled on.

His arms jut out to grab your face. Grabbing it he pulls you close you instinctively close your eyes then he hesitates you can feel his hot breath fanning over your face as he asks “Can I kiss you?”

You open your eyes. Stare into his beautiful blues for a second almost getting lost in them but manage to answer him. “I’d be disappointed if you didn’t.”

After hearing your response his face lightens you ca. See the glint in his eyes as he once again pulls you close and kisses you. Your eyes flutter shut. The kiss is soft. His lips are dry and cracked a bit but you don’t mind. It's sweet and way too short for your liking. When he pulls away you allow him and yourself to have a breath before you pull him once again.

He chuckles into the kiss. He pulls away once again and you whine. “We gotta get up doll. ‘M gonna make you the very best breakfast,” he gets up and starts to pull a shirt on. You didn’t even realize he was shirtless.

Pouting you quip “The best breakfast you could give me is if you stay in bed.”

That seems to pique his interest as he dives right back into the covers and begins kissing you once again. Let’s just say you and him had a full meal.

<~>

You must have fallen asleep again because by the time you looked over at the alarm clock it was 2 hours later.

Scrambling to get your things for work you manage to wake up James. He looks at you with such love in his eyes. “Mornin’ doll.”

It wasn’t fair how good he looked or sounded. He looked as he had been plucked from the gardens of heaven. His voice was melodic. It was drawing you back in. "Morning sorry I have to get to work I've missed the past couple of days and it's not like my boss is unreasonable but she does need her assistant. I am really sorry to just run out on you but I will be back I promise. I'll leave my number on the counter," quickly crossing the room to give him a quick cheek kiss. You ran out of the room a little disheveled but looking fairly decent. You scribbled down your number on an empty piece of paper. By the time you actually left you looked down to your watch and it was 8:30 AM.

<~>

By the time you actually got to Stark Industries, it was 9:45 AM your shift started at 9:00 sharp. Immediately you went to Peppers office. You knocked on the door hoping that she wasn't in a meeting. "Come in."

"Pepper I'm so sorry for not being here for the past couple of days. I was abducted and then I was with my soulmate and I overslept. I'm so sorry," you ramble on.

"It's ok. Wait you were abducted? By who?" Pepper almost scolds. Her face softens as she takes in the last bit of your sentence. "So you spent the night at your soulmate's house. That must've been fun. What's their name?" She questions.

"Well, his name is James Barnes. Don go off on how he's the Winter Soldier. I know he is and it's fine that wasn't him. I know I just met him but I think I'm already falling in love. He's not like any other person I've been with. Not Killian, not Amanda, not Jade, and definitely not Dawson. He's just different but a good different you know?"

"I know I can see that he makes you happy. That smile hasn't left your face since you came in here."

You hadn't even realized you were smiling. This was something that you had experience before sure your other partners made you happy but this has been a long time coming, to find that ethereal happiness.

Chapter 8

Taglist:

@oceanmermaidwitch @navs-bhat

[sunkissedpages]

breaking curfew [part fifteen] || th x reader

A/N: here it is the last chapter!! thank you guys for reading and being so patient w me throughout this series i rlly appreciate all the support!! also  ty @stuckonspidey for the help on this part!! ily sm <3

Summary: When you got the job to be a counselor at the summer camp you’d grown up attending all your life, you expected to see some familiar faces. But you certainly hadn’t counted on having to work alongside the boy who had made it his life’s mission to make your life a living hell every summer. In fact, you thought you’d never have to see Tom Holland again. But he’s is in the cabin right across from yours with campers of his own- smirk, jawline, and all. If you didn’t know any better you might’ve thought that he applied for the position just to spite you, but who were you kidding? What kind of asshole would do something like that?

Warnings: swearing, angst

What I listened to while writing: the breaking curfew playlist by @cinnamon-roll-peter​​

Word Count: 3.4k

Series Masterlist

“How’s it look?” Tom asked from his spot on your cabin floor, moving the bag of frozen peas from his eye so you could see.

It was much more swollen than it had been just a few hours ago and already purple around the edges. 

“Uh, not too bad.” You winced.

He chuckled. “Thanks for the honesty.”

He put the peas back on his eye and leaned back on his other hand, watching you on your bed with a sort of lopsided smile.

“What?” you asked pointedly, wondering what could possibly be so funny right now. 

“Look at us,” he said and gestured at your broken arm. “We’re falling apart.”

You snorted and shook your head. “We’re predictable.”

Tom shrugged and laid back on the floor, sprawled out like a starfish. He looked exhausted, and you knew the black eye had nothing to do with it. He was always so… tense, so energetic, but now… the energy seemed to have dissolved and given way to emptiness. 

You could tell he was deep in thought and you wondered what he was thinking about. Was he thinking about you?  

“You’re really not mad at Fy?” you asked to break the silence, needing to get out of your own head. 

“Nah, I deserved it,” Tom replied.

Despite his response, he had seemed pretty angry at the time. You’d recognized the flush on his face and neck, his set jaw. The tone of his voice when he spoke to you. But here he was denying it. 

Neither of the boys had said much else to you about what had happened that morning. You didn’t want to push it, but it seemed like there was something you were missing and they were purposely leaving you out of the loop. 

“But, he hit you pretty hard,” you tried, hoping he’d open up a little more.

“I was a shitty friend,” he said, as if that somehow explained everything. “We’re even now.”

He looked away off into the corner of the room and you knew he was done talking about it. You pulled your knees up to your chest and sighed, nestling your head in between them as you gazed at him from the bed.

The silence was charged with tension. Not for the first time this summer you found yourself wishing Tom would be vulnerable with you. Like he had been last night. What had changed in a matter of hours? He was closed off now, with that guarded expression on his face you’d grown so used to. You thought you’d gotten so good at reading him, at seeing under the surface, but maybe that was only because he let you. 

What had really happened at breakfast? What were he and Fy not telling you? Then it dawned on you. Had Fy told Tom that you and he-

Tom cleared his throat suddenly. "About Fy…” 

“We kissed,” you blurted before he could even finish the thought.

“Wait, what?” Tom bolted upright like he’d been punched again.

“Fy kissed me,” you said again slowly. “He, uh, didn’t tell you about that?”

“No, he failed to mention that,” he muttered lowly.

You bit your lip in regret and slid down onto the floor next to him. “Oh, I thought he would’ve said something about that.”

“When do you reckon he would’ve worked that into our conversation?” he quipped,  “While he was punching me or afterwards, when my nose was dripping with blood?”

“I don’t know, I just assumed-”

“Well he didn’t.”

Tom turned away and took a deep breath. You could tell he wanted to say something more, but was holding back. His knuckles scraped against the wooden floorboards as he clenched and unclenched his fist in thought. 

“Shouldn’t we talk about this?” you asked exhaustedly. 

He shrugged. “What’s there to talk about?”

“Tom. Are you serious?”

“Hm?” he turned his head slightly, but his face showed disinterest.

You knew his apparent boredom was just a mask, thinly veiling his true feelings, but the familiarity of the expression made old insecurities from past summers begin to creep up in your chest.

“What do you mean what’s there to talk about? I-I don’t...”

“What you do with Fy doesn’t seem like my business. If you like the guy, you should go for it.”

“I don’t like him.”

Tom raised his eyebrows. “You don’t?”

“No, I don’t,” you said with finality, admitting it to yourself out loud for the first time. “I was just... confused.”

“So then,” he paused and sucked in a breath before continuing, like he wanted to choose his words carefully. “Are you still confused about me?”

“It’s not that simple,” you sighed. 

“How so?”

“I know my feelings for you, I just don’t understand where- where they come from.”

His fingers inched closer to yours across the floor and you longed to take his hand. He couldn’t meet your eyes. 

“And what are those feelings?” His voice was so quiet it was almost a whisper. 

“I think you already know the answer to that.”

A hint of a smile ghosted over his lips.  “Yeah?”

“I mean, I haven’t really been hiding it very well.”

“No, not really,” he agreed, laughing when you glared at him. “For the record, I really like you too, y/n.”

Your scowl eased into a smirk. “I know.”

“Damn, I can’t believe you just Han Solo’ed me.”

“I mean, you literally told me that already last night.”

“Shhh,” Tom put a finger up to your lips as he shushed you, “we were having a moment.”

“Oh, sorry, were we?” You cocked your head to the side. “It didn’t feel like a moment to me.”

“Shut up!”

“No, you!” you countered, locking eyes with him defiantly.

He didn’t even blink before taking your face in his hands and pressing his lips to yours. You kissed him back immediately, instinctively. You didn’t even have to think about it. It had only been a few days since you’d last felt his touch, but it seemed like an eternity. 

His hand slipped from your chin to your neck, bracing you against him as he kissed you like his life depended on it. 

You had missed the feeling of his body against yours, and the way he said your name in between kisses. But most of all you had missed his warmth. The way the boy just absolutely radiated heat like a furnace. Whenever you were with him it completely enveloped you and made you want to stay in his arms forever. 

You moaned as he nipped at your bottom lip, but you were interrupted by a rapping at your cabin door, making the two of you jump apart like two high schoolers that had been caught making out by a parent. 

You cleared your throat and sat up straight, trying to appear nonchalant even though you knew you looked guilty as sin.

“Come in!” you called out.

The door opened and Zendaya popped her head in. 

“If you two are done,” she said, “closing ceremonies start in like five minutes.”

“Shit.”

You scrambled up off the floor and chased after your best friend, leaving Tom behind. 

“Were you ever going to tell me about that?” she asked. She was smiling faintly as if it wasn’t a big deal, but you could tell she was hurt. 

“I was,” you promised, “When you asked me what was wrong before parents weekend...” you trailed off. 

“It was about Tom?”

“Kinda- it’s a lot. I was going to tell you after this weekend, but after everything happened today I just forgot. I’m sorry.” 

“Yeah, you should be,” Z scoffed as she nudged you with her shoulder. “And you owe me, by the way. We have a very long drive ahead of us in a few days and I want to know everything.”

“Fine. I’ll even buy you a soft pretzel as a token of my apology,” you said dramatically.

She perked up. “Cinnamon?”

“If you want it to be cinnamon then sure.”

You had almost made it to the caf for the ceremony when you felt a hand tapping your shoulder. You turned, expecting to see Tom who had caught up with you, but it was Fy. He looked uncomfortable, maybe nervous, with his hands shoved deep in his pockets.

“Hey, can we talk for a second?” He glanced at Zendaya. “Alone?”

You looked back at Z who was eyeing Fy suspiciously. 

“I’ll meet you in there, Z,” you said.

She turned her head back towards you. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” you glanced up at Fy, “this’ll only take a minute, right?”

He nodded and pulled at the collar of his hoodie anxiously. You followed his gaze back to Z who was still staring him down. Was he intimidated by Zendaya? He certainly wouldn’t be the first man to crack under her intensity, and probably wouldn’t be the last either.

Finally, she broke the stare and forced a smile. “I’ll save you a seat,” she assured you before leaving the two of you by yourselves.

You followed Fy a few steps off the path to a picnic table under a cluster of trees. He seemed content to stand, but you perched yourself atop it instead. 

You had a feeling you knew what this was about, but you were hoping you wouldn’t have to face it for at least another couple of days. You’d already had one conversation about feelings today. You weren’t ready for another one. 

More than that, though. You didn’t want to hurt him. You knew that you’d led him on in a way, and even though it was on purpose it had still happened. You don’t like to let anyone down, especially someone as kind as Fy.

He still seemed unsure of what to say so you decided to take the initiative. Just rip the bandaid off.

“About our kiss-”

He cut you off. “I think it was a mistake.”

“We shouldn’t- wait, you do?” 

“Look, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have feelings for you, but I don’t want to get in the way of whatever it is you have going on with Tom. Any more than I have already, I mean. I, Jesus, I punched the guy. I’ve never punched anyone before.”

“He doesn’t blame you for that.”

Fy looked hopeful for the first time since he’d taken you aside. “He doesn’t?”

You shook your head. “He didn’t really say much about it, but he said that he deserved it.”

“He didn’t.”

“I don’t know about that,” you mumbled. “So... you know about me and Tom?”

“Knowing the background between you, it wasn’t hard to figure out.”

“I’m really sorry.”

He smiled. “Don’t be. I’m happy for you guys, or at least I’m trying to be.”

You laughed. “Thanks.”

“‘Course. You know I’ll always have your back, y/l/n.”

“Ditto, Ying.”

“And hey, feel free to hit me up if you’re ever looking for a rebound.”

-

By the time you and Fy made it back to the caf closing ceremonies had already started. The lights were dimmed and Lorraine was onstage with a mic, giving her annual speech.

You spotted Zendaya and both of your cabins on the other side of the room through the darkness and made your way over to them, sliding into a seat between Z and Theo. 

They always took place a few days before the campers went back home so the winners of the camp competition could relish in their glory and rub it in everyone else’s faces. 

But the ceremony wasn’t only for announcing the winners of the camp competition. Other housekeeping things had to be taken care of as well. Announcements about packing and cleaning cabins were made, classic camp songs were sung, and they always played an “end of summer video” so that everyone could reflect back on the past few months and the memories they’d made. Some campers hated closing ceremonies because they thought they were boring, but you had always loved them. 

After Lorraine’s speech one of the other staffers made announcements about chores and tasks for the next few days and then pulled down the projection screen for the video. 

You sat back as it began to play and smiled when the title card popped up over a picture of all the counselors that was taken the first day of training. Clips of campers arriving played next and scattered shouts echoed out from campers cheering excitedly for their friends or favorite counselors. You joined in on the shouting when a clip of Zendaya dancing in her lifeguard uniform played and she retaliated when the video showed you in the lake after Tom had tipped your canoe. 

Your heart ached in the best way as you watched. All of your campers were featured in the video. Amalia was shown painting some pottery, Eva was learning to ride a bike, Theo was making funny faces at the camera just to be silly, May was playing soccer, and Grace appeared to be making a friendship bracelet with a boy that looked a lot like Will...

You almost choked when a clip of you and Tom played from when you had both still worked in arts and crafts. You remembered the moment vividly. It had been when he was helping you with the pottery wheel before activity time. You had been trying to figure it out for twenty minutes and kept ruining whatever it was you were making with the clay until Tom had finally come over to show you how to use it. You hadn’t wanted his help, but you were hopeless and so you were forced to begrudgingly accept. He’d leaned over you and taken your hands in his to teach the proper technique. His body had been so close to yours, and the smell of his cologne was intoxicating. His necklace had hung in front of your face as he demonstrated too, further distracting you from the task at hand. 

And then the camera girl had come in to take some footage for the rewind video and instructed the both of you to stay exactly like that as she got the shot. You were stiff, and completely uncomfortable in front of the camera, but Tom had whispered a joke into your ear to make you laugh, now seen on-screen, a hundred times bigger.

Thankfully that was the only other bit of you and Tom in the video, but there was a hell of a lot more of just Tom. He was the counselor everyone loved, after all. Clip after clip played of Tom flipping into the pool, skateboarding down the big hill, and cliff diving into the lake. Your cheeks hurt from smiling by the time the video was over. 

Lorraine appeared back on stage shortly after to announce the competition results. You knew your cabin didn’t stand a chance at winning, but you were still proud as hell of your girls. Cabin Eleven had started in dead last, and for all you could care, it didn’t matter if they were still in dead last. They had made so much progress over the last eight weeks. Not to mention yourself. You didn’t even recognize the person you had been two months ago, and you’d like to think you were coming out of the summer better off than you had been going in.

“It was a close competition this year,” Lorraine said animatedly. “All of you did so well! But there can only be one winner! And that is...” She held an envelope up in one hand, and used one of her freshly manicured fingernails on the other to break the seal. She slid the piece of paper out and opened it dramatically, reading it with a shocked expression like she didn’t already know who’d won. “Cabin Six!”

Cheers erupted around the caf as Tom and his cabin raced up to claim their prize. You watched him high five a few of his friends as he jogged to the stage and you rolled your eyes. Show off. 

Lorraine handed all the kids little plastic trophies and matching medals. Tom looked absolutely giddy as she put the medal over his head and you couldn’t help but crack a smile. The boy liked to win. 

“He had the most tally points,” Theo whispered from beside you and leaned over so that you could hear her better. 

“Oh yeah, what do those mean by the way?” you whispered back.

The girls hadn’t told you before, but you knew they had to be significant based on how many each person had. 

Theo looked around at her fellow cabinmates to see if any of them were paying attention before finally confiding in you. “It was the number of times we saw each person give you the look.”

The look. The girls had described it as the look in someone’s eyes they have when they’re in love. Like they’re under some sort of spell. But surely that couldn’t be right for Tom-

“See, he’s doing it right now.”

You looked up and immediately made eye contact with him. He winked at you. You sunk down into your seat and averted your gaze.

“He’s in loooove,” Theo insisted.

“Shhh!”

“Anything you’d like to say to the people?” Lorraine asked before handing the mic to Tom.

He turned to his boys with a mischievous grin. You thought he was about to gloat or tell a bad joke, but instead he yelled “last one in the lake is a rotten egg!” and took off running.

What followed was pure chaos. His campers tore after him screaming “not fair!” and “cheater!” at their counselor as they ran. The rest of the camp didn’t even wait until Tom’s campers were out the door to follow them down to the shore to watch them jump in. 

The scene was something out of a movie. The sun had just dipped behind the treeline, painting the sky brilliant shades of orange and pink. Tom was running toward the water at full speed, stripping his shirt off in the process. You could see the smile on his face even from where you were standing.  His campers weren’t far behind him and they were still shouting after him. A mass of people chased after them, whooping and hollering.

 You pushed your way to the front of the crowd and watched as he cannonballed into the lake unceremoniously. As soon as he surfaced he was tackled by his campers all jumping on top of him at once. 

“Help me! Help me!” he sputtered, “they’re drowning me!”

“Well maybe you shouldn’t have played dirty!” you said, just loud enough for him to hear.

He caught your eye and grinned. “Is there any other way to play?”

After the crowd dispersed to head to the bonfire you helped Tom out of the lake and onto the dock. 

“You guys go ahead and start picking some good songs,” he told his campers. “I’ll be over there in a minute.”

They didn’t need to be told twice. They sprinted off, full of energy, towards the campfire without looking back.

“God, do you remember what it was like to be that little?” you asked.

“Yeah, I do. I was a little prick.”

“You could say that again,” you scoffed.

“Oi, watch it, fanny pack girl.”

“Fuck off, sunscreen boy!”

“That was one time!” Tom protested defensively.

You laughed. “Congratulations, by the way. On winning the competition.”

“Thanks,” he replied. “Better luck to you next year.”

“Oh, you’re asking to get tossed back in the lake,” you warned.

“I’d like to see you try that,” he challenged and stood back up.

You positioned yourself like a football player, ready to charge. You ran towards him with as much force as you could muster just to be swept off your feet and slung over his shoulder like a bag of potatoes. 

“Tom! Tom put me down!” you screamed. 

“If you say so,” he said and turned towards the water.

“I swear to God, Tom-”

Before you could even finish your sentence you were underwater. Clothes, cast, and everything. You pulled yourself back up onto the dock with your one good hand and flopped down on your back. Tom was hysterical. 

You glared at him. “Don’t say it-”

“What was that again about not being able to get a girl wet?”

You smiled back, despite yourself. You’d gone all these summers without having a camp crush. Gone all these years without breaking your promise to yourself, and yet here you were, falling for the boy you hated most. The irony was not lost on you.

epilogue should be out in the next week or so but lmk what you think i always appreciate feeback!!

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[roguestarsailor]

You know what since we’re still in quarantine and i have nothing else better to do, i need to obsess over ACOTAR. I don't like a court of frost and starlight. For the longest time I couldn't figure out why I didn't like it. I aggressively read the book in maybe a day and I closed it feeling frustrated and annoyed. My version had A Court of Silver Flames preview so that definitely contributed to my annoyance greatly.

It's because it felt too perfect. Everything that had happened -- after the entire war was fought and won, they just go back to their normal lives? Yes there were hiccups and yes there were still aspects that made every IC character feel like their problems aren’t solved yet...but it didnt feel right. yes i enjoyed the snowball fight between the bat boys, feyre + rhys sexy time, and those little comfort moments too, the slice of life type things and seeing feyre accomplishing her goals and how hopeful the future seems BUT its too fast. the good parts of the book did not offset the bad parts of it.

Feyre literally accomplished pretty much every single goal she made back in ACOMAF just like that?? within a span of what a few months? a year?? She really came back from an entire war -- probably the first war of many since she's immortal and just like that, after her 21st birthday: she gets a whole entire estate, wants to start poppin babies, opens her art studio and starts teaching kids and then acting like she can rule an entire court?? the timeline is sooo short esp since its been brought up over and over again how everyone is literally 500 years old and have a super “messy” history and their changes seems to come super dupe slowly. but feyre, who has only lived 0.000000002% of her fae life, is out here thriving just fine???

the war devastated thousands of illyrian soldiers where its changing the politics of the illyrains and the faes, all of whom feyre has responsibilities over too as high lady. the mortal queens are still at large who left the humans on prythian to die which is why feyre was willing to go to war in the first place! what about the rest of hybern and their land and residents?? they wanted to enslave humans for social and economical reasons! then what about integrating humans w deep hatred and fear with deeply prejudice fae??? there’s also spring and summer court who are literally in ruins. thats literally so much. so idk how feyre is just chillin???? she gonna let rhys do all the hard work???

like feyre sit down. u should not be having a baby. esp since it took u literally a 700 pages to heal from those 3 months UTM. ur telling me shes gonna whole heartedly bring in a newborn in a war devastated world, with civil unrest (illyrains, other courts), with the messiness of human and fae integration, with trauma u and rhys will have to continue to overcome esp after THIS war??? even helping ur sisters w their traumas??

this is a personal opinion on this subject (and maybe my thoughts will change on this later on; opened to other thoughts) but when i read the part about how that weaver/seamstress artist who made that dark quilt that feyre loved talked about how her mate of 300 years didn’t come back from the war and her biggest regret was that she didnt have a kid to remember him by i just thought ur kid isn’t some sort of memorabilia. don’t have a kid to keep the memory of ur mate alive; have a kid cuz u want a kid purely for the sake of having a kid. ur memories and photos and shit will keep their memory alive but its not having a kid. some primitive need to keep the genes alive maybe?? but the way it was phrased and then in turn how feyre was like oh i need  a baby pronto cuz rhys might die in the next war and regret not having a kid with him didn’t sit right with me. also the other couple were together for +300 years and have a rich life together, while shes been with rhys for literally two years THATS NOTHING IN FAE YEARS. thats still the honeymoon phase and also ur problems arent even close to being over!!!

everyone was shitty to nesta. in ACOMAF, we saw how much the IC went through and still did all they could to help feyre. what made them not think nesta deserve the same welcome? nesta is mean as a defense but did no one try to figure out what would help (amren got close but shes so under developed)??? feyre knows nesta feels too much and yet she continued to be shitty. continued to flaunt her wealth, her status, her familiarity/borderline know-it-all attitude about fae/night court, her ~estate~. forcing nest to the solstice party when nesta was literally like i dont belong, im looking at everyone through a window type of thing; the fire cracking triggering her, etc. what kind of power play was that when she made nesta come to her estate, where nesta could SEE how ~homey~ and how suscessful feyre is and fully see all the lovely paintings of everyone feyre loves that explicitly exclude her to tell her to fuck off to a war camp?? bro???? cas was a dick too and elaine was rude. i think a lot of his actions were meant to make her angry since anger keeps u fighting (as was the method of rhys for feyre in ACOMAF) but what he said was stupidly shitty and i demand that he apologize properly. elaine could have done more to help her sister but whatever. mor was definitely an ass too (and im upset for how little her character growth is). 

Lucein. that man can’t catch a break tbh. im happy that hes w the band of exiles cuz he is whole heartedly accepted there. feyre was definitely an asshole to him even tho he helped as much as he could throughout the books. he tries so hard w elaine as well and it did hit my heart a bit when she was like gloves to work in my garden?? no ?? i use my bare hands see oNly aZiReL sEeS mE fOr WhO i Am. and at the same feyre is like flaunting her mate status to lucein which is mean as shit. its like this man can’t find love in prythain. then tamlin sending him his box of his things??? thats for sure brutral. tam was literally his partner through it all; savior of sorts even. no love from IC, no love from elaine, no love from feyre, no love from tamlin, no love from autumn court rejected everywhere! also HIS TRUE FATHER?? HEllo??? 

then on tamlin. i pity the guy! was i suppose to feel that way??? it felt like he is allowed to get a redemption arc and maybe i’ll even root for a redemption arc??? i was absolutely excited for freysand in ACOMAF but after ACOFAS, im like tamlin is....not completely bad??? his relationship w feyre was bad and the controlling parts were very much a no-no. i dont truly understand the dynamics of an abusive relationship but i can understand that it can be insidious and its the little things that hurt the victim. and i felt  feyre through ACOMAF and rooted for her to escape her abuser! but then it felt like i dont think he was doing any of those things out of malice. ill say tamlin is a bad leader and doesn’t know how to run a court outside of what he sees his father do. his understanding on everything is based on the traditions of the past which i think fueled most of the things he did i.e. not telling feyre she was in danger since maybe his mom didn’t do those war planning things. ACOTAR showed how he truly cared/loved and took good care of feyre and her family. he even talked about how he didn’t believe in the enslavement of humans! i think that tam wanted to preserve what he thought was the good (aka feyre + her love of painting) and get back a sense of control that he and his entire court lost while chained to amarantha. but at the same time, i think he truly thought feyre wasn’t safe. he knows rhys can crush minds and knows feyre can’t read/write so when he got that letter telling him shes safe of course hes gonna flip shit and made a deal w the devil (although those temper outbursts were DEFINITIVELY not ok!!!). he also didn’t listen and has sense of he knows best when feyre was not the type of person. but feyre destroyed his entire court. he lost all his sentries who literally went out to die for him during amarantha’s reign. he lost lucien too; his trusted right hand man. his people were cursed for 50 years and then continued to suffer UTM and was in the process of rebuilding too!  but just seeing spring court, WHO BORDERS THE HUMANS, be in ruins where his subjects left him, his people left him and hes all alone in the manson?? that was sooo sad. so im like why does what feyre did not feel satisfactory????? im mad that it didn’t feel right??? maybe there wasn’t a point where feyre talked to tamlin -- like really talked to him esp w her new found voice and power, etc. anyways, i dont hate tamlin and was like oh shit i think feyre fucked up a bit there.

rhys is a dick to nesta. which made me think, if feyre wasn’t his mate would he extend the same love and care to her???  i loved how he tried so hard to make sure feyre was ok. made sure she wasn’t breaking! all of it! but for nesta, he had the audacity to use his high lord voice and be an ass overall. even tho he can see how cas is fucken in love??? even just how he talks to cass feels off too. 

i’ll even go as far as to say because of how terrible ACOFAS was, it created this intense divide within the fandom. i remember reading the first three books and was absolutely 1) rooting for freysand  2) curious about the sister relationship and how it will be mended 3) i definitely didn’t hate nesta nor did i hate elaine either -- but i was adament about them talking it out with feyre for those tough times 4) saw a more realistic and charming healing arc 5) was rooting for feyre to be a stronger voice and grow into herself 6) love the dynamic of the inner circle + feyre

but after ACOFAS, I have this intense need to defend nesta and was super mad at how she was treated after the war and in turn a deep dislike for elaine for both her lack of agency, lack of grit that made all the other characters interesting, and lack of care for her sisters (who showed how much they would risk for her). i dont hate rhys but i was extremely not happy with him and his attitude and behavior. feyre became more arrogant and was acting like how asshole rhysand would act. like her life is perfect now and i was not rooting for her anymore. freysand didn’t feel like they have complimenting qualities that made them interesting in the first place but rather they are merging to become the same person but in a bad way. that mind reading thing was cute in the beginning but it became insufferable since all thoughts were shared so seamlessly it made reading feel weird. 

anyways those are my thoughts on ACOFAS. it was a 1/5 stars for me and im mad those events transpired. reading the other books made me excited to know what was gonna happen and i was truly ready to accept the characters as flawed and nuanced as they are. im not mad about character not liking each other but i am mad that everything felt off. ACOFAS just felt regressive in some parts and forced in other parts. i know not everything ends in a nice tied up bow but this book single handily ruined what i thought about these characters in the worse way possible. this book wasn’t suppose to wrap up all the problems that exists in the other books but it didn’t feel hopeful like i thought it would. it didn’t feel wrapped up and didn’t feel like i should be excited about the next books. theres so many missing pieces i feel that i think need explaining and at the same time, i think it introduced too many problems at once which made it feel like its jumping around everywhere. although im still excited for ACOSF because i love nesta, and nesta deserves so much better and i want to have hope that this bad ending will either make sense later on or it was just a blimp.