#you need to calm your husband down he's dying to be mine it looks like

[louisplumpyass]

THAT'S A POWERFUL MF RIGHT THERE LIKE LOOK AT HIM

[nicole-timey-wimey-stuff]

Somewhere only we know

Part 2

Part 2

Young Daryl Dixon x fem reader

Synopsis- No outbreak and modern ish day AU (set in 2007-2010 era) Reader moves to the Georgia mountains, to live with her dad for her final year of school, as her mum is going travelling with her new husband. She meets a shy redneck boy with a tragic background, who immediately captures her heart.

Warnings - mentions of abuse, tragic upbringings, mentions of injury, feelings, friends to lovers, judgemental town people, readers dad is a sweetheart, Daryl and reader start falling in love, soft smut so 18+ only, Merle is a dick, cuss words, Daryl and reader navigating high school together, my awful writing, let me know if I’ve missed anything.

Word count - 5.4K

_______________________________________

Saturday morning had come faster than you had anticipated, granted it was only eight hours of sleep that separated you from asking Daryl to meet. But still it had felt like no hours had passed at all. You were so excited to see him again this morning but so anxious too, why are you thinking of this as if you’re going on a date, you’re not. This is two almost friends meeting up for a coffee and a walk, you needed to calm down!

Sighing at yourself for your ridiculous inner monologue, you pulled yourself together and got dressed before you were officially running late. Pulling on your ripped jeans and a nirvana hoodie you grabbed your phone and sent Daryl a quick message “Now leaving mine, I’ll see you soon”.

Grabbing your keys you raced to the door shouting “I’m now off out to meet Daryl dad, I’ll be back before dinner”, “ Alright honey bee, make sure to message me if plans change” he responds. “Will do, bye dad”, with that you rushed out to your new but ‘old’ car. You felt incredibly lucky your dad bought you a little run around to get you about. It made things a lot easier to have your own car, it meant your dad didn’t have to drop you to school everyday, and it was the first time you’d owned your own vehicle.

Just as you were starting the engine your phone pinged “Hey, I’m already er, wat coffee do ya drink?” He’s there already? Are you late? Checking the dash 9:45am no your not late yet, he’s just early “Wow your early! I usually have a cappuccino one sugar, I’ll be there in ten!” You smile feeling almost giddy, he must have been looking forward to seeing you too, then you scald yourself for thinking that, he’s just being nice.

Arriving at the lake you spot him sitting on a bench watching the water, cutting off the engine you swallow a nervous gulp as you exit the car. You have no clue why your stomach is swirling with butterflies, it isn’t the first day the two of you have spent time together. You must really be starting to like this boy you think, as you gently pace your way over to him.

Turning to you as he hears you approach, a large grin crosses his face and you determine yeah your really starting to like this boy. “Hey Daryl” you smile, “Hey” he replies handing you your coffee, “Oh thank you, you didn’t have too!” You gushed, “It’s no problem, think of it as a thank ya fer yestarday” he responds with a shrug. You smile at him taking the coffee and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, watching as his face turns beet red.

Not wanting to embarrass him further you say “Shall we take a walk then?” Motioning with your hand. “Yer sure” he mumbles still blushing from your quick peck.

Walking along side the water your talk about everything that comes to mind, you realise you can well and truly be yourself around Daryl, and it’s a really refreshing feeling. As your barrel out a story of your eccentric mother he just watches you with a small smile, “So she literally just takes her shoes off and dances in the puddle, right after being told to move on! She never listens to anyone telling her what to do, it was always super embarrassing as a kid, but now I kinda admire her for it” you laugh.

He retells a story of his brother nearly dying because he was so drunk, and Daryl saving his ass, only for Merle to rip into Daryl for not saving the booze. “Wow your brother sounds like a right pain, I’d of been thankful to have my life in tact” you affirm, “Yer you’d hav thought he’d of been happy I saved his ass, but nah, he was more worried about the beers” he agrees laughing with you.

You were both so submerged in your conversation, you didn’t notice the lady from the shop walking along with her husband. Nor did you see the judgemental looks on their faces, as the lady walked towards you, urgency in her footsteps. “Well hi there sweetie, I thought I warned you about getting involved with this boy” she jabbed voice still sickly sweet. You blanked in that moment, just stared at her in disbelief that she had the audacity to come over to you both, let alone say these harsh things.

“Excuse me” you stammer, still in absolute shock.

“I said I told you this boy was nothing but trouble honey, you don’t want to be tarnished in this town before you even start your life here, do you?” She presses.

You turn to look at Daryl and the sight broke your heart, he was looking down towards his feet, brown hair shielding his face while he kicks the dust with his feet. He looks so broken, so sad, but also like he’s used to this and that upsets you even more. Without think you took his hand in yours and laced your fingers together, and much to your surprise he let you, even if he stared at you in confusion.

“Who I choose to be involved with is none of your business, and to be frank you don’t know Daryl, you’ve never taken the time to get to know him as a person, and if we are judging people on their families here, then I hope your kids aren’t as judgemental, condescending and rude as you, otherwise we will have problems when I start school Monday” and with that you walk off pulling Daryl with you, leaving the couple stood there with their mouths agape, not quite believing the way you stood up to their bullying.

Once you were a safe distance away you turned your attention to Daryl again “You ok?” You ask timidly, hoping you haven’t crossed a line he didn’t want crossed. “Yer, uhhh no ones ever stood up for me like tha before……. Thanks” he stammers, looking at your in earnest. You smile warmly at him, “Of course, if you let me I’ll always be here to stand up for you” you reply. He just gives you a small smile before looking at the ground again, cheeks and ears once more turning pink. He can’t quite believe the effect you have on him, he’s never felt like this before about anyone. No ones ever really been there for him in his life, not even Merle. This is a new territory for him and he doesn’t really know how to deal with it, but he knows the last thing he wants to do is push you away. So he gives a slight smile and looks at the ground, while giving your hand a small squeeze.

For the rest of the walk you don’t let go of his hand, moreover he doesn’t try to let go either, and you both can’t help the butterflies that stir up a storm in your stomachs, smiles never leave your faces while there’s what feels like static energy pulling you both together.

_______________________________________

When you arrive home that afternoon you heard your dad on the phone, he sounded incredibly frustrated. “Did she cuss at you?” He asks.

“No so from what your telling me is, she stood up for herself and her friend, as she didn’t instigate the conversation, you did. She didn’t cuss at you, she didn’t use physical force, and you want me to punish my daughter for not letting you bully her? Well in that case you can forget it, in fact I’m proud of her for standing up for herself!” Then he hangs up with a deep sigh, before noticing you standing there watching the scene unfold.

“You’re not mad at me?” You ask, “No honey bee, I’m not mad at you, I’m actually rather proud of you for having the courage to do what’s right! I’m just frustrated at the situation, I don’t want things to be hard for you down here, it’s a small town and gossip spreads like the plague” he explains calmer than you’d expect he would. “I understand dad, but she just stormed over to me and started, I froze to begin with, I didn’t know what to say I’ve never seen anyone have the audacity to do that before. In Arizona people just keep to themselves, no one cares what others are doing, it’s a big adjustment for me.” You mumble.

“I know honey, I know” he sighs pulling you in for a comforting side hug, “I am proud of you though, your kindness always shines. And Daryl is a sweet boy, he helps out at the garage so I’ve met him a few times, he’s always shy but he’s a nice lad, always super helpful” your dad mentions. “Yeah he told me today he has an apprenticeship there, and he will be working there full time once he finishes school” you comment. “He’s a great guy dad, and I don’t know why everyone feels like they can be so cruel” you frown. He gets enough cruelty at home without the rest of the town making his life even more difficult.

“I know honey bee, why don’t you go get cleaned up and we can cook some dinner together?” Your dad offers, “Yeah ok that sounds good” you reply before heading upstairs for a shower.

The rest of the evening goes by without any more issues, but you can’t help replaying the scene that happened today in your head, you still felt so angry that anyone could treat someone like that, as if he wasn’t a human being with feelings too. Although with the new feelings swirling in you for Daryl, you think you’re starting to take it more personal than you would have before.

_______________________________________

Monday comes about in a blink of an eye, your first day of school and your currently sat at the principals desk listening to your introductory talk. She hands you a welcome pack and a timetable. “This should be everything you need, if you have any issues or questions feel free to pop back in and ask, I’ll be on hand all this whole week.” She kindly offers, “Your dad mentioned you’ve already become friends with mr Dixon, so I’ve put you in the same form class, as I thought it may help you settle in if you have a friend, I know he could definitely benefit from it too” she explains with a warm smile, and you think to yourself ok not everyone in this towns so bad after all, it will be nice to have someone else on your side.

Entering your new form room you notice Daryl sat at the back of the class, head down looking at the sheet he’s currently doodling on, he hasn’t noticed you yet so you take the time to watch him for a moment, admiring the way he is so adorably absorbed in what he’s doing.

The teacher breaks your train of thought by introducing you to the class “Morning everyone, this here is y/n y/l/n, she has just moved here from Arizona, I’m sure that you will offer her a warm welcome and any help she needs finding her feet” he asserted. “Hello y/n” the class says in unison, and all you can think is how humiliating this is, your eyes meet Daryl's brilliant blues and it grounds you, for a moment you don’t feel so unbelievably uncomfortable. He gives you an encouraging smile, so you look at the teacher for instruction. “I hear you already have a friend here so if you’d like to take a seat with him that’s fine with me” he motions in whisper, so only you can hear him as the rest of the class go back to chattering to their classmates.

You nod, before heading to the back of the class plopping yourself down next to Daryl “Hey” you beam happy to see him again, two days has felt a little too long and you’re both generally happy to see each other. “Yer sure ya want ta be seen with me?” He asks voice full of worry, “I’m incredibly sure, your my favourite person in this town, well other than my dad of course” you admit, turning red again he gives you a small grin and a gentle nod before looking at his sketch pad once more. You don’t miss the classes eyes on you both, or their hushed whispers to one another as they watch you and Daryl interact.

As he looks up catching their judgemental stares, you take his hand in yours under the desk giving it a comforting squeeze, a silent way of saying ignore them, don’t worry I’m here for you. With that you both get on with the rest of the lesson, hands intwined under the table.

Your first month of school passed by in a blur, you’ve made a few other friends along the way, a kind girl called Ali short for Alison, who was a math whiz and just as shy as you and Daryl were. You introduced Daryl to her and the rest of the group, with little encouragement they seem to slowly accept him into their little friendship clan. The others in the group were nice too, a boy called Matt who was a computer nerd, he was so clever that you struggled to keep up with what he was saying, another boy called Greg who played the drums and dungeons and dragons, also loving the game you suggested that everyone here start a campaign. This began a cascade of planning evening meet ups, and creating a whole fantasy world you can turn into a great game.

The last in the group was a loud boisterous girl called Gemma, she was as energetic as a puppy on speed. But she also seemed kind, honest (sometimes brutally so) and fun, although you were sure she only hung in this group because she was so obviously in love with Greg.

This new circle of friends seemed to be the cast outs, so they were the perfect group for you and Daryl to make friends with. They weren’t judgemental, they didn’t bully others and they were good people.

Today you were all sat around your ‘regular’ lunch table, with Greg going over his plans for the D&D campaign, asking Daryl for his opinions, and if he could draw some art for it. This made your heart swell, because Daryl actually agreed to do it! It was so nice to see him open up to others.

“So if you could draw this creature here, oh! And maybe a dragon, bright fire in orange and yellows?” Greg animatedly asks Daryl, “Yer I can do tha” Daryl agrees, you smile holding his hand under the lunch table, you begin drawing small circles on his palm with your finger. It had become normal for you both now, holding hands. No one ever mentions it although Ali sometimes smiles noticing you both interlock your fingers, a knowing look on her face, watching you both quietly she can tell feelings are surfacing between you two, even if you haven’t noticed yet yourselves.

You and Daryl had only grown closer, he came for dinner a few times a week now. Your dad was always happy to have him over, he fully supported your friendship, but even he could see the shift between the two of you, he could see the way you looked at Daryl, and the way Daryl gazed at you like you hung the moon in the sky. He was unsure for a while, but then decided Daryl was a much kinder boy for you to be with than a jock or one of the judgemental assholes who lived in this town. He genuinely liked Daryl, and hoped that having him over more often lessoned the abuse he could receive if he was at home.

Still listening to Greg ramble on you felt your phone buzz in your pocket ‘Hey Honey bee, just out shopping so I wanted to know if Daryl's over for dinner tonight? Xx”

“Hey Dar, my dad wants to know if you’d like to come over for dinner tonight?” You ask him, effectively muting Greg’s rambling. “Uh yer sure, got no where else ta be” he drawls, “Great I’ll let him know” you grin. You loved it when he came over for dinner it meant there’s a whole evening where you’re not worrying about his safety at home, plus you also love spending extra time with him. Whether it’s laughing with your dad, bubble wars when you wash up, or helping him with homework, it was just great being with him.

“Yeah dad he’d love too, thanks :) xx”

Buzz

“Ok great, I was thinking we could make homemade pizza together? Could be fun? Xx”

“That sounds great! Yeah let’s do that! Xx”

Buzz

“Great! Xx”

You smile, you’re incredibly lucky to have a dad like yours! He was so kind and understanding, you wished Daryl had a role model like that too.

_______________________________________

That evening you and Daryl walk into your home excited to see everything your dads laid out, the large kitchen island is covered in all sorts of pizza toppings and he’d already made up the dough, rolling it out into pizza shaped circles and placing them on the wooden platters ready for customising.

“Wow dad! You’ve outdone yourself! This looks amazing!” You express, “Glad you like it, I’ve alresdy started up the outdoor pizza oven, thought we could do the wood smoked type? Oh hey Daryl you good?” You dad asks “Yer, thanks I’m good” Daryl nods. “Good, so what do you kids think?” Your dad offers, “Yeah sounds good dad!” You affirm, dropping your bags and washing your hands ready to make pizza.

The evening was great fun, you all laughed so much, the kitchen ended up looking like a bomb had hit. But the pizza was amazing, and you all had a great time making the mess!

Later on sat in the car outside Daryl’s run down little home he sighed, “I really dun wanna go home” he admits, you turn your body to look at him, running your hand down his face and stroking his cheek, you bring his gaze to yours. “If anything happens, or you need me at all you just call me and I’ll be back here in a flash ok?” You stressed. God did you hate dropping him back off home to this place, your dad has offered your sofa several times and even the spare bedroom tonight, but Daryl always refused, scared it would cause more trouble with his father than if he just went home.

Looking up at you he nods “Yer I know” giving you a tight lipped smile he slowly exits the car. You watch him into the house waiting a minute to make sure you hear no yelling, before turning the car around and heading home yourself.

You lie awake for ages that night worrying, so this is what love feels like you think to yourself. Worry that claws itself into your gut, causing such an unsettling feeling you almost feel nauseous. You accepted a while ago now that you loved Daryl, you were still trying to distinguish though how you were going to deal with it, and what it all means. Eventually by 3am exhaustion seeps in and sleep takes over.

_______________________________________

Walking into class the next morning you frown to yourself noticing Daryl wasn’t sat in his usual spot, you walk over and take your seat in the chair next to his. Looking around you see Greg’s sympathetic gaze on yours, then noticing other peoples knowing stares your stomach sinks. You think back to that day you ran into him at the meadow, he had skipped school that day because his father had beaten him so bad he couldn’t face it.

Bile rose up your throat, all you can think bout is Daryl. You can’t pay attention to a single thing your teacher is saying, you can’t focus on your work or the diagram you’re meant to be studying. Your stomach is sinking further and further, your chest is constricting and your heart racing.

Placing your hand over your heart as you try to ground yourself, trying to breath through the panic and focus on the lesson that’s happening in front of you, but you just can’t. Sweat starts beading on your forehead as the panic keeps rising “Miss y/l/n are you alright?” Your teacher asks, concern written on his features, you must look rough if he’d noticed.

“No I'm not feeling so good, I think I should maybe go home” you answer, your voice coming out more strained than you intended. “Of course, you head on home I’ll let the office know” he replies, “Thank you sir” you nod, jumping up and gathering your things moving to exit the class quickly, but not before hearing one of the jocks shout out “It’s because her boyfriend isn’t here! And we all know what that means, his old mans beating him a new one” he laughs, your eyes fill with tears as you look at the teacher, he gives you a sympathetic gaze before urging you to go, “Detention for you Mr Owens, meet me at the end of class please” he asserts.

Racing out of the school building you jump into your car throwing your bag onto the passenger seat, your whole body shaking as you turn on the engine. Backing out of the parking lot and onto the main road. You bomb it towards Daryl's house, not even a thought in your head that you should probably let your dad know for not only your safety but Daryl's too. But all you can think of is how you need to get to him right now.

Pulling up outside his house you jump out of the car, bumping into someone. You flinch jumping back, looking up you take in the stranger recognising him from the shop, you realise it’s Merle, Daryl's older brother.

“Woah sweetheart, wats yer hurry” he drawls eyeing you up and down in the most uncomfortable way. “Where’s Daryl!” You demand, trying to keep your voice steady as your body betrays you, still shaking like a leaf.

A knowing smirk crosses his face and it causes your heart to palpate, “I see, n’ wat wud ya wan’ wit ma brother hmm?” He asks, “He wasn’t in school today, and I need to see him! And if you cared about your brother at all you’d tell me where he is...... right now!” You demand, your voice still stuttering but assertive, you don’t know where this new found strength and determination has come from.

Realisation seems to hit his features, “He weren’t in school?” He asks, “No he didn’t show up today, so I need to know where he is!” You answer, Merle sighs realising that means their old man had probably beaten him, he was drunk off his face when Merle arrived an hour ago, rambling and throwing things around the house. He was hoping Daryl had gone to school before the inevitable happened. “Well he ain’t home sweetheart” Merle states.

Looking at you again he could tell you clearly cared about his brother, watching worry cross your face, so he admitted to you that their dad was currently very drunk and angry, in his rage he’d probably lashed out at Daryl, who had probably run into the forest. “I dun know where he goes, when he runs out there, but maybe ya do?” Merle offers. Yeah you do, you know exactly where he goes, that secret meadow, the one only the two of you know about. Where you’d had your first real conversation, where you tended to his wounds that day after their egotistical father hurt him, and where you meet most weekends now, talking and drawing out shapes in the clouds.

You nod to Merle “I know where he is” before he can answer you jump back into the car, driving it up the back forest roads.

Pulling down a empty lane, you run out the car sprinting down the familiar tracks and through the trees, trying not to trip up over tree roots and stones as you hastily glide through the forest.

Coming to the familiar clearing you cross through into the meadow, letting out a huge breath in relief as you see him sitting there, surrounded by the flowers and reeds of green as he mindlessly picks at them. “Dar” you call jogging over to him, he doesn’t look up but doesn’t flinch at the sound of your voice either. You bring yourself over and sit down carefully next to him. “You weren’t in school, I was so worried I went to your’s but you weren’t there” “Wait!” He interrupts your worried yabbering, eyes jumping to yours in shock “Ya went to ma house? Wah wer ya thinkin! Ma dad he could hav hurt ya!” He shouts his voice full of concern, “Hey it’s fine Merle spoke to me outside, said you weren’t there. So I worked out where you were from there, and don’t worry I didn’t tell him about this place” you affirm.

He nods, looking at you still. You notice then the black and blue around his face, his eye is already turning purple, his cheeks are both bruised and there’s a large cut on one of them. His eyes are red and teary and he’s chewing his bottom lip, your face must have given you away because his hand finds yours “I’m alrigh’” he promises “jus culdn’ come ta school like this”. Your hand finds the part of his cheek that’s not bruised, you cup it gently, tears now filling your eyes. “You’re not ok Dar, you can’t keep going on like this” you reply, “It’s not as if I hav a choice!” He argues, “No one but you care, no one does anything to stop it, it’s as if the whole town thinks I deserve it, fuck maybe I do” he yells, tears now flowing down his cheeks again.

You shake your head no “No Daryl you don’t deserve this, not even a tiny bit. I can’t even comprehend how much you deserve Dar, because you deserve the world! There isn’t anyone better than you, gosh I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, see the way you shine. To me you're everything, so please just please don’t talk about yourself like that” you gush, desperate to make him see how special he really is. He stares at you in wonder, thinking what in the world he’s done in this world to deserve you, because truth be told you’re everything to him too. You are the first thing he thinks about in the morning and the last thought that crosses his mind at night, he knows your scent and touch by memory now, both being his biggest comforts.

Gazing at you he admits how he truly feels about you, blurting out “I love her y/n”. Then he panics what if you don’t feel the same way, he’d loose you, he can’t loose you now you’re all he’s got in this world. But your response silences his self deprecation,

“I love you too Daryl, I love you soo much” you admit.

He grabs you pullling you into his lap, his mouth frantically finding yours, it’s all teeth to start with but pretty quickly you find a gentle rhythm. Your mouths slotting together, while your hands hold desperately onto one another. You move you left hand to the back of his neck, fingers threading through his hair, while he grips your waist tighter almost as if he’s scared you’ll drift away.

Your tongue swipes at his bottom lip seeking entrance, which he grants his tongue moving against yours, its clumsy and messy but its new, to you it’s perfect. You lock your legs behind his back, effectively pulling yourself closer to him, your chest smooshing up against his own. The action causes you to grind down against him, causing a stuttered moan to leave his lips. The sound ignites a tingling in your core and you moan back against his lips, grinding down again trying to coach that sound from him again. Your action rewards you and he moans again, his hands slide up your sides under your T-shirt, thumbs slowly tracing the underside of your breasts. He’s almost testing the waters to see if you’d ask him to stop, you don’t. You grab both his hands in your own and move them to grope your breasts fully, moaning when his thumbs stroke your nipples, causing them to harden under his touch.

You arch your back grinding against him again, shifting slightly to find a position where the friction rubs your clit just right, you let out a gasp when you find the right spot, before moving your hips more frantically, head falling onto his shoulder as you pant against him. “Fuck Dar you feel so good” you whimper, he whines and you feel his head nodding against your own. One of his hands falls from your breast to your hip, helping you grind against him harder, and both your moans pick up as you chase your releases.

Daryl’s whimpers grow more desperate and you can tell he’s close, you quicken your movements rolling your hips even harder as the familiar tightening in your core starts building, “Baby I’m gunna cum” you gasp, “Shit me too” Daryl groans, you rest your forehead against his before white hot pleasure consumes you, hips stuttering against his own as you both ride out your highs.

You let out a breathy laugh as you come down, nuzzling your face into his neck. “That was unexpected” you admit. “Yer” he replies, but you catch something in his tone looking up at him you frown “What’s wrong?” You ask gently, stroking your hand down the side of his face. Daryl swallows harshly before mumbling “Ya don’t regret it do ya? I didn’ mean for it ta go tha far, I got lost in it, lost in feeling ya against me”,

“Hey baby look at me” you coax letting his blue eyes meet yours “Daryl I could never regret you, never” you affirm, “Ok” he nods, “Does tha mean yah mine now?” He asks eyes hopeful “Daryl from the second I met you, I was yours” you admit, kissing him once more you feel him smile against your lips. Pulling away slightly he shyly mumbles “I’ve always been yours”.

After cleaning yourselves up the best you can you lay in the meadow, your head on his chest fingers interlocked together. Enjoying the peacefulness the forest gives, until you feel the incessant buzzing coming from your phone, pulling it out of your pocket you notice it’s your dad. “Hey dad, I know I know I’m sorry but Daryl he needed me, we are at the meadow. Yeah he’s safe now, we both are, but dad he’s beat up pretty bad. He can’t go back there today” you express down the phone, Daryl’s watching you hum and nod along to the conversation, “Ok thanks dad, we will make our way home, see you soon” you hang up the phone and turn to Daryl “Wha’s happening?” He asks worry crossing his face, “You’re staying at ours tonight, in the spare room, we will take it from there” you convey, “Yer ok” he agrees.

Standing up you offer your hand to him, “Come on then, let’s get back to mine, we will sort something”. He nods at you, “I love yer” you smile at him lacing your fingers with his “I love you too”.

[marksbear]

Markkkkkk buddy heyyy could I request a Stephen Strange x Vampire!reader where the reader comes home from maybe a walk or a grocery trip and he’s just super sad and moody and so he just walks past Stephen and goes straight to their shared room and a little while later Stephen comes in with some tea to ask what’s wrong and the reader explains that he’s sad cause he realized that he’ll outlive Stephen and after a bit more back and forth Stephen suggests that the reader turns him so that they’ll be together forever and so he does 😋☝️

Great it's one of my least favorite mutuals. JK JK I'm only joking I love you and I hope you enjoy this @prismuffin!

STEPHEN STRANGE X VAMPIRE MALE READER

"Excuse me young man..."

A weak voice says to Y/n catching his attention. Y/n turns to the voice and a small smile slowly grows on Y/n's face.

It's an elderly couple looking at Y/n. "Yes?" Y/n says looking at the men. "Could we have that? You have the last one and my husband loves that brand. But he was a bit shy to ask."

Y/n eyes the item in his hand before handing it to the couple. "Of course y'all can have it." Y/n answers with a smile. "Oh thank you may god bless you son."

The elderly man takes it and hands it to his husband giving Y/n one more smile before heading off with his husband.

Y/n stands in the aisle in a train of thought. "Growing old together." Y/n says his words are slipping out while he thinks of Stephen. Y/n shakes his head before going back shopping.

After the vampire is done shopping he begins his walk home with way too much on his mind. Soon enough he begins to feel overwhelmed just by the thought of him staying young and Stephen being old and slowly dying.

Like the universe is playing games on the vampire he sees couples of all ages passing by him. Y/n stops when he hears someone say "I could never live without you."

Y/n covers his ears with a sigh picking up his pace walking home.

ONCE the vampire finally arrives home he feels like hes gonna collapse. Y/n puts the bags on the table fast before making his way to the bedroom ignoring his long-term boyfriend in the process.

The doctor watches his boyfriend go past him not even sparing him a glance. Stephen doesn't waste any time going to the kitchen and fixes tea for him and his boyfriend. Stephen goes to the fridge and gets a blood bag. When the tea is done Stephen pours some of the blood into Y/n's cup.

Stephen takes the bag back to where it belongs and picks up the tray of tea walking to the bedroom. The cloak opens the door for Stephen and flies back to Y/n's lap.

"Made you tea. Just the way you like it." Stephen says putting the tray on the edge of the bed getting in the bed next to Y/n. "What's wrong dear?" Stephen asks with full concern in his voice.

"I'm going to outlive you..."

Stephen stares at Y/n thinking before putting his hand on Y/n's head playing with his hair calming down Y/n a little. "Stephen we can't do any of the things that you mortals love. Like growing old together! or uhm- fuck... Like uhm going to see a sunset together and other human things." Y/n cracks with some tears falling out of his eyes.

"Y/n. You don't need to worry about doing those regular things. What me and you have right now is more perfect than seeing some dumb sunset."

"And technically we can grow old together just that your face and body won't show it unlike mine."

"What about death? You and me can't always be with one another. Eventually you're gonna die and i'm immortal. And I don't know if I can your death." Y/n asks quietly and is a bit shy to talk about this.

"You're scared of losing me?" The doctor asks getting a nod yes from his boyfriend. "So. Just turn me into a vampire." Stephen suggests like it was obvious. Y/n ponders for a bit looking at Stephen.

"We will be together forever. Better than marriage in my opinion if you ask me." "We can't even get married the government and almost everyone else thinks I'm dead." Y/n thinks a bit more before sitting up and stares at Stephen.

"Do you trust me?"

"Wouldn't be here if I didn't."

"You're such an ass Stephen." Y/n says back with a laugh not expecting anything else from his smart ass of a boyfriend.

Y/n kisses trails on Stephen's jaw going lower and kissing random spots on his boyfriends neck until he finds the vein. Y/n kisses the part and gives it a few licks.

"Y/n your turning me into a vampire not a---"

Stephen is cut off when Y/n's fangs dig deep inside his flesh. Stephen feels like pushing Y/n away, but like the cloak read his mind it wraps itself around Stephen holding him still. The doctor bites his lips trying to contain the noises of pain hes feeling.

Soon enough Stephen feels lifeless his body giving out laying its full weight on Y/n. Y/n pulls away looking at Stephens body before biting his own wrist ripping some skin off for blood to come out. The vampire moves his wrist Stephen's mouth.

Stephen immediately uses the strength he has left holding Y/n's arm still as he drinks the blood. Soon enough Stephen gets the strength back in his body and only some of his color back.

Y/n moves his arm away much to Stephens displeasure. "I know you're hungry. Lets go to the kitchen and give you a blood bag." Y/n has to carry Stephen to the kitchen putting him on the counter before he opens the fridge getting a blood bag to Stephen.

"I just remembered you're a doctor. More specifically a surgeon." Y/n says watching his boyfriend eat. "Maybe I should call you a baby bat." Y/n teases laughing when he imagines Stephen's first day back at the job now as a vampire.

"Can't wait to spend the rest every single day with you."

THE END

[iovesia]

Donaka - "It doesn't matter what you think. You're mine. You always have been."

★・IT'S TOO BAD (YOU'RE MARRIED TO ME).

⊹ fem!reader. toxic relationship. dark!donaka.

you've been engaged to donaka for nearly a year, and with each passing day that ring feels as tight as his hold on you. donaka was a businessman, so he naturally carried himself with charisma and charm— managing to make you swoon.

loving donaka through rose-tinted glasses blinded you to his vices. his jealousy, possessiveness, and illegal fighting business.

having to spend nearly every night in the underground rings; the painful groans of the fighters hitting your ears, sleazy associates of his eyeing you up and down, along with donaka being no help except for gripping you tightly at the waist.

you felt trapped. like a trophy on a shelf.

even with all that, you were willing to look past it. you loved him. and he loved you, or you hoped so. (did he even love you?)

but your last straw was finding out your husband-to-be was a murderer. while snooping around one of his numerous buildings, you found yourself in a dimly lit, blue room. several security camera screens hung around the large mirror.

you crept closer, brows furrowed in confusion at the sight. your eyes bouncing from each security camera, watching intently at the three men. one panting from exhaustion, lip cut and blood stained on his shirt. the second lying on the floor, wheezing with a hand on his stomach.

it was the third man who terrified you.

the third man clad in a black suit, with a matching midnight mask, covering his identity. he stalked closer towards the second man, before kneeling down beside him.

crack.

you cover your mouth, the gasp dying in your throat as you watch him snap the second mans neck, the haunting snap echoing in your ears.

"what the fu—" you stumble backwards, bumping into the large desk filled with all kinds of cables and computers, undoubtedly making a loud ruckus. you glance behind you momentarily, then look back through the mirror, only to see the third man was gone.

"always the nosey one, aren't you, honey?"

you jump fright, whipping around as your eyes met the eyes of your fiancée. your suspicions were corrected when you noticed that donaka wore the same suit as the third man.

"d-donaka," you stammer.

"how long have you been here?" he narrows his eyes at you, his voice eerily monotone for having just killed a man.

"not— not long, i just.." you swallow, hoping to calm your quivering bottom lip. "donaka, i don't think i can marry you. i-i just think—"

"it doesn't matter what you think," donaka quips, shrugging his shoulders as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. your feet take a step back, and he simultaneously takes a step forward.

"i can't do this, donaka. i d-don't want to."

"you're mine. you always will be. so you're gonna do whatever i tell you to," he interrupts, sending a chill down your spine. "jesus, you need to start getting used to this 'cause baby.. this is just the beginning."

[fortuositywritings]

The Great Animal Rescue

Summary: You should have minded your own business, but try saying no to a little girl who was crying for her cat. Now you are stuck in a tree trying not to embarrass yourself in front of the attractive individual who comes to your rescue.

A/N: This is a Skye/Daisy x reader short that is meant to give some background for them in I Said No

___________________________________________________________________

2:17pm

Y/N where r u??

You are stuck in a tree with no way down is where you are. You should really learn to say no to people. It’s what got you into this mess in the first place. You were on your way to meet your friends at the movies after stopping at an ice cream shop for a cone. You thought, why not walk the way there? It is only a few blocks away and it’s nice outside. 

So you began walking, licking your ice cream happily. It’s nothing compared to the ice cream shop in the small town where your cousin lives, but this one is still pretty damn good. Not two minutes into your stroll, the sound of someone sniffling made you pause. You hesitated to investigate where the noise was coming from, seeing that your cousin’s husband has given you plenty of lectures about stranger danger. You ignored the voice in your head saying he might have a point. He spends a lot of his time in New York; there are a lot of weirdos there. This is LA in broad daylight. The worst thing that could happen where you were at the moment would have been getting run over by an electric scooter. 

Clearly you were wrong.

It turned out to be some kid crying because her cat wouldn’t come down from the tree. You asked her where her parents were. She said they were inside the house and wouldn’t come outside because if the cat could climb up, it would eventually come back down. You told her they were probably right and were about to leave her there on the sidewalk but that was before she gave you some of the most adorable puppy dog eyes and a “please”. 

You asked the girl to hold your cone while you spotted the cat. It didn’t seem to be too far up into the tree. You started climbing up, grabbing a branch and hoisting yourself up. One branch made a on your green sweater, making you mumble in displeasure the rest of the way up to the cat. You should have listened to her parents as well. As soon as you had reached the cat, the damn thing ran past you and ran down the tree like a squirrel. You nearly lost your balance.

The girl thanked you even though you didn’t really do anything and ran inside her house after her cat, taking your ice cream with her. After mumbling to yourself on never falling for some puppy eyes again, you realized how far up you actually were. Your face blanched and your grip tightened around the tree branch keeping you balanced. 

You felt your phone vibrate and it took you 5 minutes to actually take it out to read the message. That’s where you are at right now. Trying to message your friend Ola back, typing with one shaky thumb.

2:23pm

Stuck intr ee two block sway help

Before pressing send, you think it over. Should you message her back? You know if you tell her to come rescue you, she would come with the rest of the gang and they would never let you live it down. Is it worth it? Better that than dying up here, you think.

Going to press send, your sweaty hand loses its grip on your phone and it falls onto the grass below. “Fuck!”

“Fuck!” Someone echoes from below, startling you in return. “Shit!”

You’re practically hugging the tree at this point. The person below you speaks to you, “You scared the shit out of me. What are you doing up there?”

You hesitate to look down but brave the fear of looking down to see the woman talking to you. And what a spectacular view you have. Had you not already been weak in the knees from being so terrified, you would have some now from looking at this gorgeous person. She’s clearly waiting for your reply, so you clear your throat and say, “Rescuing a cat. What are you doing?”

“Walking to my van.” She points to the van across the street. “Where’s the cat?”

“What?” you ask. She raises an eyebrow at you. “You said you were rescuing a cat, but I don’t see any.”

“Very observant of you,” you point out, not answering her question. She narrows her eyes at you. “You’re not like some weirdo trying to peek into someone’s bedroom are you?”

You scoff. “What?! No! I’m one for one on rescuing cats, actually. It went back inside to its house.” You defend yourself. “Besides, you’re the one with the creepy ‘I’ve got candy inside my van’ van, so.”

Now this stranger looks embarrassed. “It’s for work.”

“Who do you work for? The CIA?” you joke, making the woman laugh. “They’d wish.”

It’s your turn to give her a questioning look at the odd response. She ignores it and loops back to you. “So if this great animal rescue went just like you said, why are you still up there?”

“To, uh-get better reception,” you lie. She looks at you unimpressed and you see why when she bends down to pick up the phone you dropped. “You mean for the phone that’s down here on the ground?”

You laugh nervously. She catches on when she notices how tight your hold on the tree is. “Are you sure you’re not just stuck up there?”

“What? Stuck? Me?” you laugh as if what she is saying is just offensive. “No, I just liked the peacefulness the tree provided. I dropped my phone on purpose. Yeah, I didn’t want it to distract me from really appreciating the beauty of the world around us.”

“Yeah, the McDonalds down the road really does look beautiful in the daylight,” she quips.

“It’s the wonder of the golden arches,” you retort, pulling a genuine laugh from the woman. 

“Well, then I’ll leave you to it,” she says. You dryly swallow, afraid that your chance at getting down from the tree will leave with her. She speaks up again. “But before I go, would you like me to send the message to Ola that somewhat reads ‘Stuck in a tree two blocks away help’?”

She smirks and you sigh at being caught. “Okay, truth is I’m deathly afraid of heights. I didn’t realize how high I actually was until I tried coming down.”

“Well, that’s okay. It is one of the most common fears,” she reasons.

“It’s embarrassing. I can’t even look at a plane without feeling nauseous.”

“Well, I think you’ve been doing well so far. Look how long you lasted up there while looking down towards me.” She points.

“That’s only because you’re a good distraction,” you confess. 

She begins to climb up towards you. “Aww, are you trying to call me beautiful?”

You blush and don’t say anything though the silence speaks for you. She finally gets to you. “I’ll take that as a yes. Now, let’s get you down this tree, Robin Hood.” 

“Robin Hood?” you question the nickname. “Is it because of the tree?”

“That. Also, the tights and green top pull it all together. We just need to get you a bow and some arrows and you’ll be set.” The irony at the fact that there are plenty of arrows and bows at your cousin’s house due to her husband’s profession isn’t lost on you. Unfortunately, any joke you could make about it would get you in trouble, so you just smile at the beauty trying to help you down. 

She offers you her hand and helps you get down the tree branch to branch with all the patience in the world. Not once does she complain about the death grip you have on her hand. When your feet feel the ground beneath them, you feel like crying. Instead you just let go of the stranger’s hand and try to get your heartbeat to settle down to it’s regular pace.

“Not too bad, see? Soon you’ll be bungee jumping,” she jokes.

“That’s a big leap from getting down from a tree.”

“Well, yeah. It’s bungee jumping. Leaping is the first half of the process,” she says sarcastically. You roll your eyes at her playfully. Then she smiles at you with a gleam in her eye as if she just had the best idea in the world. “How about we start with something smaller then? What are you doing on Friday?”

“Um, I don’t have any plans yet.”

“Now you do. Friday night, you will be taking the next step to conquering your fear of heights!”

“It’s not bungee jumping, is it?” you ask, petrified. As beautiful as this girl may be, risking your life for the chance to see this girl one more time doesn’t seem like a well thought out trade. 

“Calm down, Robin Hood. I was thinking more along the lines of getting you to ride the ferris wheel at the fair,” she reassures you, making you blush.

“Like on a date?” you shyly ask. God, you hope you didn’t just embarrass yourself.

“Like on a date.” She smiles at you and your heart feels like it’s skipping.

“Y/N.”  You throw out. She looks lost so you explain, “Every Robin Hood has a name for when they aren’t up in trees ready to rob rich people. Mine happens to be Y/N.”

“Skye.” She offers her name and you take it so willingly, letting it ruminate in your mind. “Here.” She pulls your phone out of the pocket she had put it in. She goes to your contacts and adds herself in before handing it back to you. You stare down at it in wonder. 

“Well, I think your friends might be waiting on you, so…” She begins walking backwards. “I’ll see you Friday, Y/N!”

She turns around looking both ways before jogging across the street towards her van. You see her pull into the street nodding at you before driving off. You wave back after the van, dumbstruck. “What the hell just happened?” You mumble to yourself.

****

“You know when you said I would be getting on the ferris wheel, I assumed you meant you would go on it with me,” you grumble, making your way over to Skye who was waiting for you by the exit gate of the ride. 

She reaches for your hand pulling you closer to her. “Some things, you have to learn to do alone. You just have to let the belief that something great will come out of pushing through your fear guide you through that fear.”

“I don’t think any funnel cake we get later was worth that experience,” you pout. 

“Okay, then how about this,” she says before pulling you in to kiss you. It doesn’t last long but you let it consume you for the seconds you have. You open your eyes when she continues, “and a second date?”

“Only if it ends just like that,” you counter. She kisses you again, the second kiss leaving you just as dazed as the first.

“Deal,” she agrees, pulling you towards the funnel cake truck. “Next date, Robin Hood takes on Six Flags!”

“Wait, what?!”

_____________________________________________________________________

So, just a side little thing for some Reader and Daisy/Skye context before she eventually shows up in I Said No. It feels like I’m giving this reader a whole Universe. The world does in fact revolve around Y/N. 

Obviously (or maybe not) I dropped some references to the other fic but really you could read either without needing to read the other (if it truly breaks your heart to see reader with anyone else).

@madamevirgo @marvels-writings @gayarchnemissis @myperfectlovestory @purplemeetsblue @magicallymaximoff @b0mbdotc0m @helloalycia @ironscarletwidowsoilder @cantcontroltheirfear @trikruismybitch @your-my-mission @imagine-reblog @fayhar @idek-5 @causeitswhatjesuswouldfreakingdo @bemyvitamin @musicinourlips @paumxmff @wandamaximoffsrings @yeetus-thyself @lostandsearching @when-wolves-howl @euphoriaszn2 @gingerbreadcookieforlife 

[queenfinehair]

Until the bitter end

Epilogue

Warnings: None, unless childbirth freaks you out. Lots of Torvi and Bjorn.

Song mood and This one

Disclaimer: Photo not mine, it belongs to

Halfdan haunts your dreams frequently, the way his body had toppled over was a constant video in your mind. Tonight was no different as you wake with a start. It was just a dream. Usually that is said to put a mind at ease, but for you it's the reminder of the living horror you had seen first hand.

Lately they've been worse though, much more vivid. A particularly nasty bit is always seeing his final glance in your direction. Luckily you were rarely alone for long to mourn over what was meant to be. Idunn was your neighbor now, Torvi was always bringing her children over for you to practice with and Bjorn was constantly there with food. "To help the little one grow strong." He said every time he came to check on you, always poking your growing belly. Bjorn had been there for you many times in the passing months. Although many talked behind your backs, the love you shared was strictly platonic.

To calm yourself and bring you to the present you slowly rub your swollen stomach, feeling a tiny kick as you make small circles with your hand. Grunting with effort as you slowly sit up you breathe in deeply and exhale loudly. As your feet hit the ice cold floor you stand up and look out of the window.

Your nightly routine now consists of this same pattern. Over and over again you see Halfdan's dying face, a nightmare that was unfortunately true. You get up, change clothes and pace. That was exactly what happens tonight, what will happen tomorrow night and so on.

You peel the dampened night clothes from your body and bend over to retrieve a new set from the chair beside your bed. Night sweats were the worst part of this debacle, leaving you freezing as you change. Still shivering you grab your blanket and wrap it over your shoulders.

A sharp pain spasms through your abdomen and you hiss at that. The pains had started that morning and never really went away fully. Then the trickling starts. You could have had yet another accident but this feels different. Sneezing or laughter usually brought an accident on but you were doing neither. Pregnancy was far less magical and more gross than you had imagined it would be. Another pain shoots through and your water completely breaks, running down your legs.

"Oh!" You exclaim and begin to panic. You knew nothing about giving birth apart from pushing, Torvi had taught that. The rest, she said, could only be learnt through experience. Well you weren't experienced and you weren't ready. Nine, almost ten, months seemed so far away when you had first told Halfdan. You hadn't expected the time to pass by so quickly after his death.

Exasperated as you grab your fur to wrap over you, dropping the blanket, you're out the door in no time. Idunn was away with her husband but you knew where to find Torvi. In the months that had followed the battle you and her had become close friends. She had lost a son and as tough as the woman was, she was a mother, and she knew heartache.

"Torvi?" You yell as you knock loudly. Hopping a little from foot to foot you realize it was foolish to have forgotten your boots. The night was frosty and your toes were already freezing. Again you pound on the door.

"Y/N?" You turn around quickly and relief washes over you before another quick pain stabs you again.

"Bjorn!" You grunt, voice straining. He looks at the way you're dressed and crosses his arms. "What are you doing out here like this?"

"Bjorn, it's happening." Faster than you're expecting, too. Another pain and you're clutching your stomach, the warm fur falling to the ground.

With realization Bjorn hurriedly picks you up honeymoon style and makes his way back to your house. "Where is Torvi?" You whine as the door is opened and you're back to where you started. Alone apart from Bjorn who is the last person you wish to see. You needed a woman, not a man who had never even been intimate with you. The very last thing you want is Bjorn seeing you this way.

"She is not here?" Of course he wouldn't know. Bjorn and Torvi had long since been apart, Bjorn moving on quickly while Torvi had just recently gotten with Ubbe.

He lays you on the floor, looking around for towels, or loose fabric, anything that he can put underneath of you. A cry escapes your mouth as your hands cling onto your thighs, nails digging into the flesh.

"Okay, here's all I could find!" Bjorn runs back to you and lays down towels and the fur of Halfdan's that you still owned. "I'm not laying on that!" You shriek, grabbing the article before your fist flies to your mouth, teeth baring down.

"So don't use it, I don't know!"

Useless! You scream in your head, crying now. Bjorn paces the small room, hands behind his back as he thinks. "I'm going to find someone." He decides and makes a break for the door.

"Bjorn Ironside if you leave me alone now I will kill you!"

He surrenders with his hands and begins his pacing once more, trying to think of what he could possibly do. "Shouldn't you push or something?" He asks and you scream in his direction, a sentence of nonsensical words before breathing quickly. "Not now, Bjorn, you idiot!" You can't help but to be mad at him, at any man right now. There he was, comfortable while you were in agony. "If he wasn't dead already I'd kill Halfdan!" The mention of such a task sends you further into tears.

Finally there's a knock on the door and Bjorn answers it, fully relieved. "Torvi." He sighs, pointing in your direction to which she quickly goes and kneels beside you.

"Torvi, it hurts." You whimper and hold tightly on to the fur which you've scrunched into your hands. "I know it does, Y/N. But it will be all over soon. I need you to spread your legs for me. Can you do that?" You nod you open your shaking legs, the pain unbearable.

"Bjorn I need water." Taking a loose piece of cloth she rips it smaller. "Okay now lift your back up." Guiding you through the process you obey again and Torvi slides a towel underneath you before gently pushing your back to the ground once more.

Bjorn hands her a small bucket and stands back awaiting any further instructions. Torvi takes the smaller piece of cloth and dips it into the water before pressing it against your sweating forehead. "That's it. Just breathe."

Her touch and her words are gentle, something you need right now when you're feeling so frantic, so helpless. "Y/N, I need to check you now to see how far along you are." You nod as Torvi looks between your legs, her hand disappearing under your dress. The feeling is uncomfortable but no worse than what you're going through now. "She's close," Torvi says to Bjorn. His nails are in his mouth as he watches the scene unfold.

"Okay. When I say go, I need you to push, okay?" Her face is serious as she looks to you. You sit up, resting your weight on your elbows and bite your lip. "Okay." You groan.

"Push."

As you strain through the first push you cry out, the pain so uncomfortable that your body shakes and you fall down. Unable to hold your body up Torvi looks to Bjorn, "Go on! Sit behind her." She rushes him.

Taking off the thick fur coat he'd still been wearing, Bjorn tosses it aside and goes to your head. You lift yourself up again and Bjorn sits down behind you. Another push and you again collapse but with him behind you for support you're able to see more.

"Torvi, lift my dress up? I want to see when this child breaks free from me." As the fabric slides up over your stomach you lift your back so the bottom goes up to.

Another big push and Torvi is smiling, "It's coming."

Your hair sticks to the sides of your face from sweat and Bjorn reaches over to wipe your forehead with the cloth Torvi had used. The small action sends you into hysterics, thinking of how Halfdan would have been the one to do it.

"I know." He whispers into your ear as if reading your mind. The tears flow freely as you give one more big push after Torvi's cue.

Crying. Screaming. That's all you can hear now but it's not coming from you. "Y/N, look." Bjorn points down and when you do you see Torvi holding a baby in her arms, her own eyes glistening. "A girl." She sighs happily and hands you the screaming babe. It's filthy, slimy and bloody as you take it - her - into your arms while Torvi cuts the cord.

Bjorn sets about reaching for a larger cloth to wrap the infant in but you no longer care how disgusting she looks. She's yours, you did this.

"Hello my sweet girl." Your voice is a hoarse whisper as you look into her eyes. She stopped screaming when you spoke and looked up to you and you gasp at how brown, almost black, her eyes are.

You can hear Bjorn sniffle behind you and you tilt your head back to see if he's really crying. He is and he shakes his head, "She's his. She is one hundred percent Halfdan's." He laughs as he thinks fondly of his good friend. You look back down and nod, Torvi coming beside you to clean the baby's head. Once free from the goo and blood, she's even more striking and those eyes never leave you.

"Halfdan would be so proud of you right now." Torvi says and leans in to kiss your cheek. Bjorn, watching the baby as she now watches him, sighs and his chin rests on your head. "Very proud." He agrees.

"What are you going to call this future shieldmaiden?"

"Verdandi," you whisper, "I shall call her Verdandi."

.

Tags: @naaladareia

[abruisedmuse]

A Strange New Scent pt.2

*I’d like to thank @nicolivesinbooks for asking the important question of how long until Jude notices? Answer: not that long. This should also be the end of this fic lol. However, it was meant to be a one shot so who knows right?

A Strange new scent: part 1 

I awoke feeling as though I slept most of the day. One swift glance to glass panes on my left told me it was morning still. Exhaustion lingered in my body still. I imagined it the way faint ripples echo in the water after you throw a rock in a lake. For all of my mortal existence I could not recall feeling this tired. Queenly duties have been strenuous as of late.

As I shifted my worn body upright, a slight knot twisted firm in gut. I shook it away, the quick movement and lack of hunger due to be the cause. I was greeted with a gentle breeze along my bare skin. That seemed to ease the tiny bout of nausea or it could be thanks to wafting scents of ginger, lemon, and peppermint. Strangely enough, every deep inhale I took of those smells eased the tight knot of nausea.

"My sweet villian." I turn to find Cardan sitting on the chaise near a table. A small tray of morning delicacies before us along with a pot of tea. My husband, it seemed prepared me a cup. It is now, I realize the source of that scent as I watch the swirls of steam rise and dance with one another above the porcelain cup. "You’ve slept well?"

I nodded "Yes. Though I could sleep the day away if we did not rule faerie."

He smiled knowingly to himself before beckoning me with an open palm, "Come wife."

Cardan had something to say, I realized. Usually I would bait him into saying it, but I was too tired and the illness in my belly would not wavery fully. Simply put, I was in no mood for once to goad him.

Shifting my weight once more to the edge of our bed. My feet touching the floor as I reached for spider silk robe hanging on a chair. A gift from Kaye. I remember Roiben's look of boredom when she beheld the item before me. Cardan enjoys it. He enjoys it more when I have just the robe on and and no more. Which is exactly what I am in the process of doing. I slid my arms into their place wrapping then tie loose around my waist.

I crossed the threshold, not caring how my hair looked as I reached for Cardan. My hand gliding over the cool metal of his rings then the warmed palm. His hand curled around mine while pulling me to his lap.

On the small silvered tray I noticed how simple the arrangement was. Biscuits, various jams, and berries mainly. All of it made that stomach knot to tighten more than it was. I opted for the tea, taking a long drag of the comforting scent before an equally long sip. Settling the cup down, I feel Cardan's arms wrap around me, pulling me flat to his chest. The tip of his nose brushes over my shoulder. He takes in a deep inhale just like I did with my tea. I can tell his smile into my skin is wide and glowing like the moon.

"That new scent of yours is stronger now." He murmurs lovingly. The heat of his breath against my neck.

I stilled.

I had forgotten. Before I fell into a deep slumber Cardan mentioned a new scent. To my knowledge of fae there were few reasons a mortals scent would change. Death, sickness depending on the severity, after being intimate, and, I swallowed hard at the final one, pregnancy.

Logistically speaking pregnancy could be an answer. I was not dying and even if it was due to passionate moments, Cardan knows that smell. For it to be sickness, my husband would not be happy and calm. No, he would been frantic and never leaving my side. I'd have to stab him to at least point he'd need aid just for moments of rest.

"Why would it be?" I question

A hand cups my jaw as he turns me to face him. His coal black eyes shine with what can only be described as pure happiness. "I think wife. You already know."

To my surprise, I do.

We have been married now for four years and have discussed the prospect of a child. I haven not been drinking moon tea as much anymore. Thinking over the past few weeks, how my breasts have felt tender and heavy. My tunics and pants fit tighter, I believed it to be bloating from my cycle coming up. Which is now dawning on me is late. However, due to my training regime is not fully surprising. The on coming nausea, the tiredness. It hits me then, the tea Cadrdan ordered; Peppermint, lemon and ginger all of which fight off sour stomachs.

Elation runs with abandon though me and I adjust myself in his lap, "I think I'm pregnant."

Cardan gives me a knowing look. My heart squeezes at the adoration in his expression. His hands find my hips. Not my hips. They land under my robe and over my flat stomach. His thumb sweeps around my navel. "There is no I think about it my sweet villain, my darling wife." He pauses lifting a ringed finger down from the bottom of my ear to my chin. I welcome to sensation and the gooseflesh that follow. "Though I'm surprised it took you this long to figure it out." He speaks in jest.

The softness in my face turns murderous. "Careful husband," I say in warning. "I have more reason to stab you now than ever."

He laughs the sound annoyingly joyous as his lips grace my temple. "I am looking forward to it. The reason." He rests his palms back on my belly. "And the stabbing."

My forehead rests against his. The news hasn't settled in me yet the way it has for him. Most likely will not until it is confirmed. Even so, he knows I'm thinking three words: So am I

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@pcarnatio​ 

@wanderingjpg​ 

@bookishwitchling​

 @sayosdreams​

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@hopefullyanauthor​

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 @nestaisgod​ 

[multific]

Solve a Murder

Sherlock Holmes x Reader

Summary: You were desperate. You needed help and so, you turned to the one man in London who would be able to help.

“Mr. Holmes, I’m here to hire you to solve a murder.”

“And who’s murder would that be?”

“Mine.”

“Pardon?” asked Dr. Watson.

“It’s my step-sister. I suspect she and her husband want me dead. You see, I inherited my father’s land when she thought she would be the one to get it. And now, just the way she looks at me. She offers me drinks, way too often, I suspect she is trying to poison me. I fear for my life, and lately I haven’t been feeling well. You need to help me. Find evidence that she is plotting my death so I can go to the police.”

The two men looked at each other. 

“I knew I shouldn’t have come.” you said as you stood up, they made you feel like you were a fool, but then the Doctor spoke up making you look back at him.

“How long have you been suspecting that she is trying to poison you?”

“About a month. My dad died five months ago, I lost my mum when I was little, so he married another woman who gave him my step sister. My step mum died two years ago, or rather disappeared. Dad left everything to me in his will. And my sister was fuming, saying that she was the one to deserve it. Back that I was so sad, I didn’t even realize she said that. During the four months I was grieving, but then I started to notice things.”

“Things like?”

“Her servants bringing me food and tea, which is a nice gesture but...it’s usually after I already ate. And then I started to get sick a lot more often. I’m not one to fall sick easily. The doctor said it was just a cold, but...I know she did something. The look on her face said it all. She looked happy when I was in bed for a week. I tried asking for help, but everyone thinks I’m paranoid.”

“I believe you.” said Watson as he looked back at Sherlock who only rolled his eyes.

“Don’t be ridiculous. It’s clearly only the mind of a woman, making up scenarios. Why are you really here? You are wasting my time.” his words were harsh. And they hurt. Just as the nice Doctor turned to scold his friend, you spoke up, tear running down your face.

“I hope Mr. Holmes, that you will visit my grave one day. I just wish to see your face when you realize that you were wrong.” you said as you stormed out of the house.

You felt so silly. And to think that you were extremely nervous when you decided to seek for his help. You didn’t even realize that you left your scarf at the house. 

***

You were truly helpless, you didn’t have any friends to talk to, your maids were fired by her, leaving only her trusted ones behind. You were trapped in your own house.

And you didn’t have evidence to go to the police either. Although you looked everywhere in the house for signs. But you were unable to find anything, no bottles, no poison, nothing.

The worst however was that you were gradually falling more ill, day after day.

It felt like you were dying from the inside. So, you called the doctor over.

The doctor said that your illness was due to the loss of your father. The doctor blamed depression, but you knew it wasn’t that. Not with the way your sister was smirking and smiling when she thought you weren’t watching.

One day, you felt so terrible, you couldn’t even get out of the bed. 

And from that day on, you didn’t.

You were so ill, the sun hurt your eyes and you felt useless. You just laid in bed, you weren’t even sure for how long.

You had barely any appetite. And you wondered how many days have passed.

***

“Miss Y/L/N, two gentlemen are here to talk to you. They said they brought your scarf back.” one of the maid’s said before they left, leaving the door open to let the two men in. You tried to sit up, look at least presentable, but you were too weak.

“Miss Y/L/N,” you recognized that voice, that calm and kind voice.

“Dr. Watson,” you said smiling at the man, not noticing that Sherlock was also in the room.

“You left your scarf. Don’t get me wrong, My Lady, but you look very ill.” said the doctor as he placed the cloth by your hand. You grabbed it and thanked him.

“The doctor was just here, yesterday I think. Said it’s only depression.” you said letting out a long sigh. 

“That’s ridiculous. I saw people looking more heathy on their death bed. May I examine you?” you gave him a weak nod, then you turned to Sherlock who was standing on the other side of your bed.

“Will you take my case now, or in a few days when I’m gone?” you asked looking at Sherlock. His eyes met yours.

***

Dr. Watson determined that you needed immediate care in a hospital. Although your sister argued with him, telling him that you already are in the care of a doctor. 

That day, Sherlock took your case. He clearly noticed something which he didn’t’t share at the time.

You were in the hospital for three days, and you already felt better. Every day Dr Watson would come over to talk about the case or ask questions. Although you were sure Sherlock was already close to finding evidence.

***

One day, you were finally better, so you could walk around a little. You were sitting outside, reading a book under a tree when you noticed Mr Holmes making his way over to you. 

“It was the food and the water and the tea and the cookies and everything.” said Sherlock as he sat down beside you. “You were poisoned gradually, small portions on everything you ate, and drank. The maid did it, because your sister ordered her to. Both are in custody as we speak for attempted murder.” he said, but even with your suspicions being right, you didn’t feel better.

“Thank you Mr. Holmes. I will pay you as soon as I get out of here.” you said before turning to look up the tree, watching a little bird hop from one branch to the other.

“Hmm.” you didn’t notice the look Sherlock gave you. But he noticed just how much livelier you looked. Your eyes shined, your skin shimmered in the light. You looked a lot better. “So, as I observed, you are not married. Neither am I.” he said.

You had to admit this was the worst possible way someone tried to court you. You looked at him, eyes wide.

“Pardon?”

“I’m saying that I find you quite beautiful and I would like to know you better.”

“Oh.” 

“Oh? That’s it?”

“Don’t get me wrong Mr. Holmes, I appreciate the compliment, it’s just... Your timing, Sir. I am still in hospital because my sister tried to poison me, my brother-in-law is still out there, possibly stealing everything that he can move from my home. And you are...handsome.” 

“Then, I will be back with the same proposition in a few weeks. Ms Y/L/N.” he said as he stood up and left.

You laughed a little, thinking that he was joking.

After all, what could a man like him possibly want from you?

***

It had been almost a month since you left the hospital.

You were half right about your brother-in-law. He did steal a couple of items when he left, but luckily they didn’t mean anything to you, so you were just happy that he was gone. 

You hired new staff and fired everyone. You were not sure who you could trust.

You also made sure that every food and drink was thrown out or went down the sink. You were not taking any chances. 

The fact that you only had 2 members of staff made you do some work you were not used to. You were no brat and you didn’t mind getting your hands dirty, so you helped with the cleaning where you could. 

You were working in the kitchen, cleaning the cupboards when a voice behind you made you startled. You nearly fell off the furniture as you were cleaning the very top shelves.

“Miss, Mr. Holmes is here.” 

“Thank you, Tina! Let him in, please.”

“He is here, Miss.”

This is when you finally turned around and noticed the man smiling up at you. Tina already left to get back to her duties.

“Nice to see you again, Miss Y/L/N. I must admit, every time we meet I can see a different side of yours. I have never seen a lady on the sink, cleaning the shelves.”

“Well, someone has to do it.” you said slowly climbing down. Sherlock helped you, making sure you won’t fall. “I assume you came for your payment. Give me a moment. I put it in an envelope in the library.”

You said washing your hands before heading into the library. You pulled the drawer of your father’s desk out and pulled the envelope out.

“For your speedy resolution, and for Dr. Watson’s help regarding my health, I added a bit extra. Thank you very much.” you said handing him the payment.

“I actually didn’t come for the payment, Ms. Y/L/N.” he said but you watched as he reached out to take the payment from you and slipped in into his pocket. “I’m here to keep my word. What I said in the hospital, I wish to get to know you better. You seem like a very interesting and smart woman. You realized that your sister was bad, even when everyone, including me, thought that you were delusional. I apologize for that.” you honestly didn’t know what to say. You thought he was a man who wouldn’t see you in a romantic matter. But then again, he just mentioned getting to know you.

“Maybe, you can stay over for lunch? I will cook up something nice.”

“You?”

“Yes, I am yet to hire a new cook, and in the meantime I do the cooking, my old nanny taught me a few recipes.”

“Sounds nice.”

And so, he stayed for lunch, dinner and the next day he came over again and every single day after.

He was charming, and the two of you could speak for hours about everything and anything.

Before you knew it, months, and years passed.

You certainly didn’t think that when you decided to go to Baker Street 221B to ask for help, you would find your future husband.

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[supernaturalgirl20]

Hidden Desire

Pairings: Din Djarin x reader

Warnings: Smut 18+, domestic violence, angst, family feuds, mutual pining, jealousy.

Summary: Forced into a marriage you did not want, your sentenced to a life of loneliness. What happens when you meet your husband’s handsome brother?

A/N: so this is another AU and is loosely based of the true story of Belvedere house(Ireland). I went for a walk along it’s grounds and got inspired. Also no helmets in this.

You’d been married to Paz for a year now and to say it was the worst year of your life was an understatement. You hadn’t wanted this marriage, but Paz was an Earl and your father had made an arrangement with his family. He was from an important mandalorian house and they we’re wealthy. Upon your marriage he’d brought you to his stately home. You were blown away by its beauty. It sat on acres of land, had I a huge forest and had its own lake. This was where the beauty stopped. Paz was cordially first and you had thought that perhaps if given time you both could learn to love one another, but that was not the case. Weeks into your marriage he became adamant that you produce an heir. Family he had told you,was sacred to the mandalorian culture. Weeks then months past and you were not with child. He became furious and began blaming you, and with each month passing when another period came he began to hit you and it only got worse. Your whole body was covered in bruises, you had prayed to whatever god was out there that you became pregnant to end his violence. But it never happened. A year on and Paz has now given up on you and has taken to visiting his other estates more frequently leaving you alone with just the maids. It was during on of these trips away that you had met HIM!

***

He has come to visit Paz, having been away bounty hunting. You were shocked he decided to stay when he was informed Paz was not there. Each night he would have dinner with you and after you would both walk along the forest path, discussing literature, politics, art, anything that came to mind. He told you his name was Din Djarin and that Paz’s parents had adopted him when he was very young. A debt he could never repay. It was on these night you had developed feelings for him. It began with stealing glance at one another to the soft brush of hands when you we’re near. Things had shifted dramatically one evening when you both stood at the edge of the lake, the moon shining bright. You stood staring up at the sky and you were illuminated but the light of the moon looking ethereal. He couldn’t take it anymore he had to have you. Walking up to you he put his hands around your waist turning you to face him. “What are doing Din?”. His eyes lingered on your lips and before you could say anything else he crashed his to yours. He kissed you like a man dying of thirst, and you his only source of water. He pulled back a little and rested his head against yours. “I can’t do it anymore, I can’t pretend I don’t love you when your all I can think about.” Your stunned by his admission but the joy it brings to your heart out ways all else. “I love you too Din. I wish it was you I had been married off to.” Upon hearing that Din walked you backwards towards the big oak tree. When your back hits it,he lifts up the skirt of your dress and runs his thin along your folds. “So wet for me already Mesh’la.” “Yes always wet for you Din”. He kisses you again unbuttoning his trousers in the process and lifts one of your legs around his waist. He lines himself at your wet core “are you sure you want this, want me Mesh’la?” “Yes yes…please Din I want you to fuck me.” With that he thrusts up into you and you let out a loud moan. He is huge, and the stretch of him hurts just a little, but you feel every ridge of his cock pumping into you and you love it. “I knew…thrust…that this…thrust…pussy…thrust..would be…tight. You take me so well. This…thrust…pussy..thrust…was made for me.” With that you feel the pleasure coursing through you and you can’t hold back anymore you scream his name into the night. “Oh god yes…Din…yes.” Your cunt clenches around him and it sends him over the edge. “Where, where do you want me?” “Inside, come inside.” With that his seed coats your womb. He rests his head on your shoulder. When he looks up he cups your face in his hands. “I do love you”. “And I you.”

***

From that night you spent most of your time in bed where he had you on every surface of the room. You both did not try to hide your growing relationship from the maids, who would they tell, Paz was never home. You began imagining a life with Din, away from this place, where you spend the rest of your days together. You had explained to him that you could probably not have children given Paz’s fruitless efforts, but this did not stop him from wanting to fill you up every time hoping it would take root. On this particular day you had been in the gardens playing with some of your nieces when he spotted you dancing with the youngest. He imagined you doing that with your child, his child, and he felt his cock grow hard at the thought. That night after dinner he was extra touchy and you had no sooner entered the bedroom when he pinned you to the bed. He wastes no time tonight, quickly stripping you both of your clothes. “On you knees Mesh’la.” You did what he asked and before you could think he was deep inside you. His thrusts were relentless as he pounded into you from behind. He grabbed your hair as to pull you towards him. He grabbed your breast roughly, kneading it. “You look so pretty like this, all cock dumb for me. Tell me who you belong too?” “You…only you.” “That’s right your mine. And I’m going to fuck my seed into you until it takes.” “Oh god yes…fuck Din, please give me a baby.” With one last thrust his seed spurts into your cunt. He pulls out slowly and you groan at the loss. You both collapse onto the bed and he pulls you into him. He runs his hand up and down your spine. You feel..happy. Your suddenly brought out of your daze when the door to the room bursts open. “What the fuck are you doing with my wife?”. Din gets out of bed, puts on his clothes and tries to calm his brother. “Paz please, brother, you do not love her, you fuck any whore you can, but I love her. You can both divorce and that’s the end of it.” “How dare you come into my home, fuck my wife and think I will let you get away with this, and you.” He turns toward you now, furious “you are nothing but a cheap whore, fucking the first man that comes into my home, you couldn’t even do your wifely duty and give me a child.” He is beyond angry now and he makes to pull you from the bed not caring that you are naked. He grabs you by the hair and pulls you along the halls. Din is trying to get you free but his brother is strong normally, but even more so when he is angry. “Paz stop, your hurting her, let her go.” “ oh no she’s going no where ever again.” Din is nervous now what did he mean by that. He tries to grab you again but to no avail. Paz brings you up to the attic. He throws you in and locks the door. “Now she can spend the rest of her days locked away. If I can’t have her no one can.” “ you can’t do this, I won’t let you.” “Oh and what are you going to do huh, last I checked I was the head of this household, what I say goes.” Din could feel the anger in his veins but he left, leaving you, the love of his life locked away like some criminal. He would not let this happen to you he needed help.

***

Weeks passed and you lost hope of ever seeing Din again. You had been given clothes and scrapes of food. Your were being held captive in your own home. You began to feel sick and after the sixth day you mentioned it to one of the maids. Paz allowed a doctor to visit you. It turns out you are 8 weeks pregnant. Your shocked, having believed your were barren. A maid comes in and tells you she can get word to Din and so agree. If Paz finds out about this he will kill you. Din is planning an attack on his brothers home to free you when the maid comes to find him. “Mr. Djarin, em excuse me sir, but I have news of Ms. Y/N.” “Y/N, is she ok has he hurt her?” “No he is not currently home sir, she has been ill of late and Paz allowed us to call for a doctor.” He walks up to her and puts his hands on her shoulders almost shaking her “what is it girl, spit it out.” “She is pregnant sir, 8 weeks I believe.” “Pregnant!” He is speechless sinking into a nearby chair. Cara stands and comes over to him.We have to move now Din, if Paz finds out his wife, who could not bare him a child,is now pregnant from his brother, she is dead.” With that Din stands “ok we go tonight.” You are asleep when you hear keys rattling at your door, suddenly Paz bursts in and storms towards you. “Your fucking pregnant?” He is fuming and grabs you by the hair. He grabs a knife and places it along your throat “ I should have done this in the beginning”. “Don’t you ducking touch a hair on her head.” Paz turns around quickly to see Din standing in the door way blaster pointed at him. “Come to rescue your little whore have you, sis you know she is carrying your child, of course you would get her pregnant, you were always better at everything.” “Put the knife down Paz, you don’t have to do this.” “Oh but I do, you see my reputation is at stake.” “I was hoping you wouldn’t say that, now.” Paz turns to see who Din is talking to buts it’s too late Cara shoots him in the head with her blaster. You fall to the floor trembling and Din moves towards you. “Your ok now Mesh’la, I’ve got you, I’ve got you both.”

Tagging:

@asta-lily, @lunaserenade, @librariantothejedi , @maievdenoir , @seasonschange-butpeopledont , @elinedjarin , @day-off-inkyoto, @danniburgh @absurdthirst

[babymetaldoll]

DIWK - Chapter four: "Hurt"

Words count: 13,7K

The gif is mine ✨

Warnings: Hardcore Spencer trauma. Mention of drug abuse,  torture, Criminal Minds usual case triggers. Spoilers of Season 2 E14/15 Criminal Minds.

Summary: An unsub abducts Spencer, and reader blames JJ for it.

A/N: Have you ever wished you were there to save Spencer from Tobias Hankel? I know I have. I know reader wants to... I'm dying to know what you'll think of this chapter! Sorry if it's a little too graphic, writing Spencer's POV of this episode was really hard.

Series Masterlist

Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter four | Chapter five | Chapter six | Chapter seven | Chapter eight | Chapter nine | Chapter ten | Chapter eleven | Chapter twelve | Chapter thirteen | Chapter fourteen | Chapter fifteen |

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

(Y/N)'s point of view

I remember the day Emily Prentiss arrived. We had a case in Saint Louis. Two serial killers, 'cos it couldn't just be one asshole making everyone miserable. And on top of all, Hotch was confused and upset 'cos he never signed Emily's transfer to the BAU. It was like someone was trying to force her into the team, and we all thought it was weird.

We left the bullpen off to the case and left Prentiss in the office, not knowing if she actually got the job or not. I know Elle and I weren't incredibly close, but it still felt weird to think someone might join the team and try to replace her. It didn't work that way in that job. It didn't feel right at the moment.

There is something I also distinctly remember about that day: Gideon talked to me. And not only that, but he actually trusted my knowledge. We hadn't been on the best terms for a few months, so that approach meant a lot to me.

We were at the police station. Reid and I had been analyzing the letters one of the killers had sent to a journalist to find something that might help us catch him before there were any more victims. That's when JJ and Jason walked in, and he asked about our progress.

- "He only sent this to an individual, which shows he is not confident enough to initiate contact with the masses."- Spencer explained as he projected an image of the letter on the wall.

- "Emotional indicators are analyzed through slants, and you can see the shooter maintains vertical, narrow letter writing, and both are signs of repression"- I said and pointed at the image on the wall- "And the pressure, if you look closely, it's excessively heavy, which shows that he's uptight and can easily overreact."

Gideon looked at me and nodded. It was my cue to keep on talking. For once in a long time, I was feeling approved by him.

- "You got all that from his handwriting?"- JJ asked me, surprised. Reid looked at me from the other side of the room, and I could feel his smile reflecting how proud he was of me.

- "Graphology is an effective and reliable indicator of personality and behavior."

- "But my writing is always different,"- she added, and I nodded. I was waiting for that comment.

- "Yes, because it represents your emotions at the moment, just like your facial expressions parallel the way you are feeling while you are speaking."

- "What else can we know about our unsub from this?"- Gideon asked me.

- "Well, our killer uses simple statements, all first person, like "I won't be ignored," which means he's obviously tired of feeling this way. He may have a job in solitude or one that he feels strips of his identity. His work might require him to wear a uniform, something that shows absolutely no individuality, or he may be overqualified for his menial job and feels that he doesn't get the respect that he necessarily deserves."

I made a pause and waited for his words. I was giving my best, and I swear I was still hoping I could ever get Jason Gideon's blessing.

- "I think we are ready to give a profile,"- he said and nodded.

And damn, that felt good.

When we were back in Quantico, Hotch had a long and clearly awkward conversation with the section chief, Erin Strauss. She was scary. She was clearly trying to get rid of Hotch, questioning his work daily, decisions, and how he managed the team. Why? I have no idea.

It felt she forced him to accept Prentiss into the team. We were one man down after Elle left. Ok, one awesome woman down, so we definitely needed some help. And Emily was a great addition from day one.

We clicked right away. Prentiss was funny, smart, but most of all, she constantly had to prove she deserved to be there. Just like me. Gideon gave her the cold shoulder from day one, and that I could relate. The only difference was that she won him over in a few days, though. I was still trying to win that battle.

Garcia decided we needed a girl's night, and she hosted the first of many "BAU Girl Power get together." Basically, it was us at Penelope's place drinking and talking.

That first night, we updated Prentiss with everything that had happened with Elle. She wanted to know everything about us, what we did, how long we've been on the team, and how we all got along. It was sweet and fresh. After that year in the BAU, I had already learned to enjoy the sweet things in life. Like getting drunk with my work girlfriends.

- "So, does Hotch ever smile?"- Emily asked, and we all laughed at the very same time. Yes, it was getting late, and we weren't as sober as we should have been.

- "He does! he does!"- JJ assured us- "You should see him with his baby."

- "He is a dad?"- Emily was shocked. I was surprised too when I found out Aaron was married and with a baby. The amount of time he spends at work always made me feel he had zero personal life.

- "And has a beautiful wife"- JJ added- "He is always laughing when he is with her and baby Jack."

- "I guess this job can drain the happiness from your day... "- I thought out loud, but before anyone could say anything about my dark and bitter comment, my cell phone rang.

- "Hey honey bunny, everything ok?"- I stood up and walked to the kitchen. I didn't want to interrupt the girl's conversations.

- "Yes, I just wanted to make sure you were drinking enough water between drinks"- I laughed and shook my head. Only Reid could call to say such a thing. He was the sweetest friend on earth.

- "Yes, I am, don't worry. I'm not going to be hungover or drunk tomorrow. I know you are excited about the new exposition."

- "You are gonna love it!"

- "I am sure I will"- and I wasn't kidding. I loved when he dragged me to the Smithsonian or any museum for some nerdy fun.

- "Have fun with the girls."

- "What are you doing, by the way?"

- "Just reading a little, you left your complete Sherlock Holmes collection here, so I'll be solving mysteries while you get drunk."

- "Don't have too much fun without me"- he chuckled and ended the call. I smiled and walked back to the girls looking at me with a funny grin on their faces.

- "Was that your boyfriend?"- Penelope asked me, and I frowned right away.

- "No, it was Reid. He just wanted to confirm we are going to the museum tomorrow."

- "Wait"- Prentiss narrowed her brows and looked at us confused- "Reid ain't your boyfriend?"

JJ and Garcia's laughter was epical, as well as my frown. They nearly gasped for air while Prentiss and I waited until they calmed down.

- "No"- I finally answered- "Reid is not my boyfriend."

- "He is more than that; he is her work husband,"- Penelope clarified, and I turned to her with my mouth wide open, shocked.

- "What the fuck? Reid ain't my work husband. He is my best friend!!"

- "Yes, and you happen to call your best friend "honey bunny," right?"- JJ questioned, just like she had a few months before when we were alone in our room away on a case.

- "Reid is my best friend, and yes, I call all my close friends by weird pet names. You will get one too if you are lucky."

- "But I thought"- Emily continued- "I mean, he looks at you like you are his sun."

- "No, Prentiss, the only coupe in this team is the one between "chocolate thunder" and "baby girl" right here"- I pointed at Garcia, and she just blushed and covered her face.

- "My love for Derek will burn forever with the intensity of a thousand suns. I mean, have you seen that man? he was made by the gods and sent to earth just to give my existence some sense"- we all laughed at those cheesy words, though Pen was serious about them.

- "But, have you ever...?- JJ looked at her and made a pause. We were all looking at every single facial movement or behavior she might show to read her body language."

- "My relationship with my loverman could never be tainted by something as mundane as sex."

- "Like you wouldn't lick honey from that six-pack and ride that thunder."

The words just left my lips, and I blame the buzz. BAU (Y/N) would have never said that. Drunk (Y/N) would, totally.

The girls laughed until tears fell from their eyes, and I just chuckled, honestly happy to make them laugh. I had been more of the real me than I had ever actually been around them in nearly a year.

- "Hello?"- my phone rang again when I was walking out of the bathroom. And this time, it was Paul.

- "Hey babe, what are you doing?"

- "Hey, I'm..."- I looked at the girls in front of me and sighed- "I'm stuck with paperwork"- and they turned to me immediately. I could read the "What the fuck" on their faces.

- "Well, I'm at Rob's in case you feel like dropping by. We are writing a few songs."

- "I'll text you if I finish with this early, but... have fun."

- "Ok, bye"- I hung up and sighed.

- "And that was..."- Prentiss asked, frowning.

- "My boyfriend,"- I explained and grabbed another beer

- "Sure, I could feel the passion,"- Garcia joked, but I just didn't think it was funny.

I knew my relationship with Paul wasn't alright. Actually, things with Paul weren't. Period. We were done, it was apparent, but still, neither of us had said it. That relationship was just a few phone calls every once in a while, only to make small talks. When we were together, we would just watch a movie, eat something, drink a few beers, and that was it. It had been a long time since we had sex or even made out. I don't know why I didn't end it sooner. I guess I was just afraid to do it.

But I let more months pass before I actually did something.

Spencer's point of view

I'm not proud of what happened that year after Prentiss joined the team. I think that year changed me profoundly, and a part of me never fully recovered afterward.

Maybe it had to be that way, and it was something I had to go through to grow up. I guess I'm still trying to make some sense of all the misery I put my friends through. Mostly (Y/N). She was in hell with me.

A few weeks after New Year, we started working on a case. Someone was killing wealthy people in their own homes. At first, we thought there were two unsubs, 'cos one of them called 911 after killing, and you could hear them struggling and arguing. But no, it was just one.

Tobias Hankel was a delusional serial killer. He had split personalities, not two but actually three. His father, the one who tortured me. The archangel Raphael, who was trying to make God's will, killing people. And himself, who wanted to save me, but instead, he nearly destroyed me.

What do I remember about the day he kidnapped me? I remember I was stupid enough to try to catch an unsub alone, just to prove I could take care of myself on the field. Hotch sent me and JJ to talk to Hankel at his house, 'cos apparently, he might have seen the unsub months earlier. But no, he was the unsub, and neither JJ nor me could stop him.

We hid in a barn, and I was so eager to prove I could catch him; I told JJ we had to split up to cover the place. I was counting on Hotch to get there with the team sooner than they did, and before I realized it, I was in the middle of a cornfield, and Hankel was pointing at me with my own gun.

I was sure I was going to die right there. All of Hankel's personalities were struggling inside of him. I couldn't stop thinking about why I thought I could do it on my own? Why had I been a reckless asshole? Was it because I wanted to prove I was an excellent SAA? Because I wanted to impress JJ? Maybe I tried to convince myself I could do the same job my team did. I knew I wasn't the most physical person, but I had a gun. I had been trained to capture killers.

Yes, I was an asshole that day, and I've regretted everything that happened that night many, many times in the following years.

When I woke up, I was tied to a chair, and the archangel Raphael had taken Hankel's mind completely. The room was dark, and it smelled awful. He was burning fish hearts and livers, 'cos he believed it kept the devil away.

I was confused and lost. My head was spinning, and my heart was about to burst into my chest. I knew I could die any second now. Raphael wasn't the one to show mercy. That's what I had learned from all the videos Hankel had uploaded to the web. He had shared with the world every murder they had committed to show the other sinners what was going to happen to them.

- "They believe you can see inside men's minds"- Raphael looked at me with dark eyes, implying he meant Tobias and his father

- "It's not true. I study human behavior."- my voice was shaking. I knew I had never been more scared in my entire life. He took out a gun and showed me one bullet.

- "Do you know what this is? It's God's will."

Things didn't look good for me. He put it in the cylinder of the revolver and spun it. He was going to let my life to luck.

- "You don't have to do this"- I tried to talk him out of it, though I knew it wasn't going to work.

- "No go, sinners, to your God."

And he pressed the trigger.

What went through my mind the seconds that passed between having the gun pointed to my face and realizing I had lived? My mom. All I could think of was how my mom would react to the news of my death. I could never bear to hurt her like that. I couldn't die. I couldn't leave her alone.

I sighed, relieved, and bit my lips not to cry. Raphael looked at me with a blank expression and walked out of the room. I had survived for now.

I struggled with my handcuff, but it was useless. My head was killing me. I could feel the open wound on my head, still dripping blood on my temple and head. I tried to focus on the pain for a few minutes, just to make sure I was awake. It was a nightmare, and keeping myself sane and conscious under those circumstances was nearly impossible.

How was I going to get out of there alive? Did the team know where I was? I had no idea where I had been taken. I had been unconscious the whole way. It was dark, and I couldn't see much around me. I wasn't afraid of that darkness. I was more fearful of the man that left me alone, 'cos he was armed and mentally unstable. Darkness had nothing on him.

I had to focus on the things that kept me sane. The things that made me want to get out of that room alive.

- "My name is Spencer Walter Reid. I'm twenty-five years old, my mother's name is Diana Reid, I was born in Las Vegas, October 28th, 1981."

I closed my eyes and tried to think of all the things that made me happy.

- "I work at the BAU, my best friend's name is (Y/N), and she sits at the desk in front of me. Derek Morgan is the closest I've got to an older brother."

He was. He still is. You have to be close to dead to start seeing things clearly sometimes. Derek was my brother. He treated me like a kid, but a kid brother. He was always teasing me, trying to teach me how to pick up girls, trying to drag me to the gym with him. Derek was a good friend, we were very different, and I knew if we had been classmates in high school, we would probably never have talked. He was a jock, and I was a nerd. But life had brought us together. And now I couldn't think of a better friend than him.

I tried to focus on my happiest memories. My birthday came to mind. The guys had planned a Halloween-themed birthday party at the conference room of the BAU. Of course, Garcia baked a cake and (Y/N) helped her decorate it. It was incredible, 'cos it was covered with tiny gourds and skulls.

- "Frank and Mikey sent you these,"- she announced after everybody had given me their presents. I wide opened my eyes in shock 'cos I had no idea her friends knew it was my birthday or even cared about it.

- "Why?"- I had to ask.

- "'Cos they think you are amazing. They actually wanted to come over to your house and have a few beers tonight."- I opened my mouth to say something, but Derek interrupted me.

- "Pretty boy is gonna get to work hungover again."

- "Shut up"- (Y/N) and I said at the same time, making everybody chuckle. I opened the present her friends had sent me and laughed right away.

- "Lucky Doc"- I read and took out of the bag a Sports Illustrated issue with Lila Archer on the cover. My cheeks turned red immediately.

- "Frank still hasn't overcome that story. I think he will hate you forever"- (Y/N) laughed (along with the rest of the team) and gave me another present.

- "They also sent you this. They said you were going to like the man in black"- it was a Johnny Cash's vinyl- "Frank picked it. He thinks he is some sort of musical psychic that can read people's taste in music."

- "We should get together and have a few beers one of these days. I need to thank them for these."

Gideon looked at me in silence as soon as I said those words. But I didn't care if he disapproved. I was going to be (Y/N)'s friend, whether he liked it or not.

He is the closest I've had to a dad in the latest years. He cares about me, and he tries to make the best of me that he can. Yes, he can be too apprehensive. I think that's a way to put it. But only because he wants me to be the best profiler I can be.

I never thought I would end up working at the BAU. I never thought I would love the job I do as much as I do. Back when I was in college, I thought I would dedicate my life to finding a cure for schizophrenia, but I ended up hunting serial killers across the country.

And though I was about to die, I didn't regret any of the decisions that led me there.

The morning found me shaking, cold, and scared. I was in a small cabin in the woods. Just like the worst and more cliché horror movie ever made. This was my own horror movie.

- "What are you staring at, boy?"- Tobias opened the front door carrying logs for the fire. His voice had changed yet again, so I knew it wasn't the same person I had talked to the night before.

- "You are not Raphael."- I whispered, looking at every movement he did.

- "Do I look like Raphael?"- had I insulted him? I couldn't tell. He turned to the fire, and I took a deep breath, doing my best to stay calm.

- "Thank you for burning those, for keeping us safe."- I said, looking at the fish hearts and livers he was preparing to put on the fire.

- "Don't try to trick me."

- "I would never try to trick you."

- "You are a liar."

- I'm not a liar."- it was hard to stay calm and not start screaming for help or mercy, but I knew that was going to take me nowhere with him.

- "Lying is a sin."

- "I'm not a liar."- he walked closer to me, and sat right in front of me, held my leg up, and grabbed my foot.

- "This will be over quickly if you just confess your sins."

- "I am not a sinner"- I whispered again. He took off my shoe.

- "We are all sinners."- it didn't look good for me, not at all, and I knew I had to talk to him with his words with his beliefs to save my life.

- "The Lord spake unto Moses saying "Speak unto all the congregation of the children of the lord" and say unto them, ye shall be holy, for I, the Lord your God, am holy."

Hankel, this time in the personality of his father, looked at me surprised. I might have done something right, 'cos he stopped moving, and for a second, I thought it was going to be ok.

- "You know Leviticus."

- "I know every word of the bible. I can recite it for you."- but his eyes turned dark again.

- "The devil knows how to read too."

- "I'm not a devil, I'm not a devil2- I repeated, and couldn't stop shaking, 'cos my life on the hands of a sociopath.

- "I'm a man, my name is Spencer Reid, and I have a mother, and I have a father just like you, and they taught me the bible, let me recite the bible."

My voice cracked at the knowledge of what he was going to do. He stood up, still holding my foot. He was going to torture me, he was going to try to break me, and I had to be strong. I didn't know how I would find the strength, but I had to be strong.

- "Time to confess, Spencer Reid"- and without further notice, he slapped a log against my foot, making me scream in pain. It hurt from the tip of my toes until the back of my skull. I hadn't felt that kind of pain, and it was worse knowing he was just getting started. Tears started falling down my cheeks in no time.

- "Confess!"

- "I don't have anything to confess."- I whimpered and closed my eyes, 'cos I knew he was going to continue his torture. And so he did. The pain was excruciating. I was sure I was going to pass out

I tried to go to a happy place in my head, somewhere when I could hide from all that pain. It was too hard, though. It hurt too much. I kept repeating over and over again I wasn't a sinner, begging Hankel for mercy, as he shouted I had to confess.

I made an effort to think about what he might want me to say. What did he want me to confess? Which sins was he talking about? But nothing came to my mind, nothing but the pain and the fear of dying.

(Y/N)'s point of view

The second we reached Hankel's cabin, I started looking for Spencer. I had a horrible feeling about it. Morgan and I headed it to a barn with Prentiss. There was no sign of anyone. It was dark and quiet. Never a good sign.

- "Shit!"- I whispered, staring at three dead dogs and a bath of blood in front of me. There laid the body of another victim that was missing from Hankel's last attack.

- "FBI!!"- JJ shouted suddenly. She was pointing his gun to us, clearly in shock- "Don't move!!"

- "JJ, it's Morgan, (Y/L/N), and Prentiss! Don't shoot"- Derek tried to calm her down, walking towards her- "Are you hurt?"- she lowered the gun and stared at us. You could read the fear and the trauma in her eyes.

- "Tobias Hankel is the unsub,"- she whispered as Prentiss rubbed her arm sweetly, trying to comfort her.

- "Yeah, we know"- I moved towards her too and put my gun back into the holster.

- "And we thought he was just a witness"- we looked around, and JJ pointed at the dead dogs.

- "JJ, where is Reid?"- Derek asked her, but she just continued talking.

- "They completely tore her apart"

- "JJ, look at me,"- I said and held her arm carefully- "Look at me, where's Reid?"- she was shaking, and her voice was cracking. I knew she was making her best effort to pull herself together.

- "We split up. He said he was going to go in the back."

And there it was. That was the reason why I had a bad feeling all along. Derek looked at me and nodded as we read each other's minds. The two of us turned around and ran outside, leaving JJ with Prentiss, waiting for the medical team and ambulance to check on her wounds.

Gideon and Hotch were inside the cabin, looking for Hankel, but there was no one there. And there was no sign of Reid behind the barn either, in the cornfield, or anywhere in the perimeter. Reid was nowhere to be found, and I started losing it little by little. I tried to repeat myself the words Hotch had said many times during my year in the BAU: "when you are out there with the team; your mind has to be one hundred percent on the case." But the case had never included my best friend missing before.

- "Hey, is there any sign of him yet?- I asked the police chief as I reached the ambulance. He was there talking with JJ, making sure she was ok.

- "We got every one of our units on the road. He won't make it far"- I nodded and watched him walk away. I knew he thought I was talking about Hankel, but I actually meant Reid.

I turned to JJ and moved a little closer to her. Her eyes open wide, staring back at me.

- "You can't find Reid?"- I just shook my head and tried to sound as casual as I could, not to freak her out. She was still in shock. I didn't want to make it worse.

- "Not yet"

- "(Y/N)"- Derek held my arm and forced me to walk away from the ambulance.- "Reid followed him into the cornfield. It looks like somebody got dragged."

My heart stopped. Did the psychopath hurt Spencer? Did he kill him? Did he torture him? Was he hurt? Was he alive? Where was he? Derek looked at me, and I nodded. I bit my lips and took a deep breath. Hotch's words were my mantra now: "your mind has to be one hundred percent on the case."

- "Are you sure?"- we turned to the police's chief, overhearing his conversation- "We are on our way now."

- "What's going on?"

- "The sheriff down two towns over, he just gave directions to a man who fit Hankel's descriptions. It's to a motor lodge in fort bend."

- "Let's get Hotch and Gideon"- Derek held my arm and walked with me to the cabin. We had to find Reid, and we had to do it fast.

That was the worst night of my life. The first worst night of my life, to be sincere. I didn't close an eye. I went through every paper, every note, every detail in that cabin, trying to find a clue that could lead us to where Tobias had taken Reid.

I felt someone had ripped my heart from my chest. I had to think straight, and to do it, I had to keep a cold head. But as the hours passed, it became a more demanding and more challenging task to complete. I knew the whole team was suffering, but that didn't ease my pain. And I knew JJ felt guilty, but that didn't stop me from blaming her in my mind. She left him alone. I would have never left Spencer alone on the field.

- "(Y/N), you should try to get some rest."

Derek whispered as he sat on the floor next to me, where I had been sitting for the last half hour, reading Tobias's old diaries. Nothing but fear of his father, mentions of Dilaudid use, and bible transcriptions.

- "I'm ok,"- I answered and didn't even take my eyes from the pages.

- "(Y/N), I mean it"

- "I'm not going to rest if he is out there in the hands of a psychopath, Derek"- I had to bite my lips and shut the fuck up, 'cos if I said one more word, I knew I was going to burst into tears.

Morgan just wrapped an arm around my shoulders and moved me closer to him. That was the first time I let him hug me, and it felt good to know I wasn't alone in my desperation. I knew he loved Reid like a brother, and neither of us was going to stop until we found him.

- "Welcome to our nightmare"- JJ's voice broke the silence we had been into for the last hour when Hotch walked into the cabin with Penelope.

It was morning already. There were still no signs of Reid. Prentiss, Gideon, JJ, and I had been sitting at the table, reading everything we could.

- "His computer is an extension of his brain. I need you to dissect it,"- Gideon whispered to García. You could feel the concern in his voice. She just nodded in shock and turned to Derek, who held her hand and helped her get set up in the computer room.

- "So, nothing new since I left?"- Hotch asked and looked at us. I just shook my head and continued reading.

- "Well, the good thing is the guy documented practically every second of his life"- Prentiss words took me from the pages I was reading. I looked at her and raised an eyebrow. The concept of "good" was poorly used in that phrase.

- "The bad news is, we are still un-piling,"- she added and sighed.

- "From the looks of it, he hasn't left this place in years,"- JJ managed to say. She made her best effort to be useful, but she was in worse shape than everybody else. Yet, that didn't make me feel bad for her. I was mad at her and kept making my best to put it aside, 'cos my head had to be in the case.

- "He knew he could pretend to be looking for a motel and throw us off his trail,"- Emily inferred, but I shook my head as soon as I heard her.

- "No, no, no, it's more than that!"- I shook my head and took a deep breath- "Sheriff's office, 911 calls, every time he engages the police and gets away with it... he reassures himself, God's on his side. Not ours."- I added.

Gideon nodded, and we shared a moment of agreement. He was as worried as I was. I could feel it. I'm not saying the rest of the team wasn't, I'm saying Jason was as fucked up as I was, and I could sense he was having the same trouble I had making sure my head and not my sentiments were into the case.

But if anything happened to Reid, I didn't know what I was capable of doing.

At a certain point, I got sick of reading and not doing anything and decided to look around the house again if we had missed anything. Derek went along. One part of me felt he wanted to stay away from JJ too. Maybe he was as mad as I was about her leaving Reid alone. I know I couldn't blame her, but I did it anyway.

- "Guys!! I think I've got something!"- Derek yelled, and I ran over. He opened a door that led to a basement. I walked right behind him, pointing my gun and my flashlight all over. But there was no sign of Reid.

- "Tobias Hankel!!"- Morgan shouted. Someone was sitting in what looked to be a gigantic freezer- "Tobias!"- but we didn't get any response. I took a step closer and examined carefully.

- "Morgan, I think we just found Hankel's father."

Spencer's point of view

On my second night in that cabin, I met Tobias. The third personality of Hankel walked into the room, carrying what seemed to be a dead deer. He looked as frightened as I was.

- "You need to eat."

- "What's your name?"

- "Tobias."

- "Tobias, who was here before?"

- "Probably my father."

He looked at me up and down, and he immediately understood what he had done to me. It was scary how he could dissociate. Someone with multiple personality disorder is usually unaware of the other personality states and memories when an alter is dominant. In this case, Tobias knew the other personalities but considered them different persons. He didn't think they were all in his head.

- "I'm sorry if he hurt you."

He looked at me like he understood everything I had been going through. Maybe he had been through something similar when his father was alive. Perhaps he had been a victim of Hankel as well, and that's what triggered his psychopathic nature.

He walked over and took out his belt.

- "What are you doing?"- he wrapped it around my arm, and I started begging him to stop.

- "It helps"- he took out of his pocket a needle and a small bottle of what seemed to be some kind of drug.

- "Don't tell my father. He doesn't know they are here."

- "Please, I don't want it, I don't want it, please"- I cried and begged.

- "It helps. I know"- it was the last thing Tobias said before the needle found my vein.

And he was right. It helped. Every single amount of pain I was feeling disappeared. My brain shut down. Somehow, everything was ok. I never had in my entire life felt so good before.

My mind kept flashing memories of when I was a kid. I kept seeing images of the day my father left and how he called my mother crazy.

- "You are weak"- mom spit those words after he refused to take me with him. I know she said it not because she didn't want me with her, but because mom knew she was sick and wanted the best for me. And he refused.

- "I'm not weak."- I whispered as I looked at her smiling back at me.

- "I know, honey."

I don't know how long I was drugged, but when I woke up, Tobias wasn't there with me anymore. It was his father.

And the torture continued.

(Y/N)'s point of view

Gideon was trying to convince me to go out with Prentiss and JJ to see a Narcotics anonymous's contact that might give us more information about Tobias. Emily had found some flyers about it in his room, and it could be the only lead we had to find him and Reid.

- "You need to get out of this house for a while"- he whispered and tapped on my back.

I knew he wasn't the one to be loving or physical with people, less with me. But that moved me. I turned to him and my eyes watered up. I was scared, and I couldn't hide it anymore. The more hours passed, the fewer the chances were to find Spencer safe. Alive.

I felt his arms around me suddenly, holding me tight, trying to keep the pieces of me together. We were alone on the porch, and though I didn't want to fall apart, I couldn't hold it anymore.

Jason didn't say a word. He just hugged me and let me cry for a few minutes. I didn't say anything either. I actually couldn't because I was overwhelmed with everything.

- "Are you ready, (Y/N)?"

Prentiss whispered as she walked over with JJ. I turned my back at them for a second to hide the tears that kept falling down my cheeks. I knew it was a shitty thing to do, 'cos it was obvious I had been sobbing, but they gave me the courtesy of not saying anything.

- "You go, I need (Y/N)'s assistance with some diary entries"- the two of them walked away quietly, and thankfully, didn't argue with Gideon.

- "Thank you,"- I whispered and felt his hand on my shoulder one more time.

- "You are doing a fantastic job,"- he said and turned around.

I wish I could tell you that made me feel better, but instead, I just thought I had the duty to bring my friend back home safe.

It had been at least an hour since the girls left. Morgan, Hotch, Gideon, and the police chief were in the living room with me, reading. I sipped my hundredth cup of coffee and re-read the same diary entry for the third time.

- "There's something weird going on here."- I thought out loud and walked towards Gideon

- "You think?"- the police chief turned to me and raised an eyebrow, ironically.

- "No, seriously, check this out. This journal is filled with religious ramblings. He notated hour by hour: "November 15th, 3:17, if ye offer a sacrifice of peace offering unto the Lord, ye shall offer it at your own will", and it goes on and on: 5:04, 7:41, 10:22, 1:42."

I made a short pause and looked at Gideon and Hotch. They didn't get where I was going.

- "But then, it goes blank for days."

- "Maybe he got sick of writing"- I seriously hated that police chief.

- "I think I got it"- Hotch whispered- "Journal entry: "December 6th. Father is sick. He wants me to put him down. I say thou shalt not kill. He said, honor thy father. Must pray for guidance."

- "So he kills his father as an act of mercy?"- Gideon asked, knowing the answer.

- "This is two months ago. Tobias Hankel's father had been dead for four months already."

- "That's exactly it"- I murmured, thinking Tobias Hankel was way more fucked up than we thought.

- "Look at the floor"- Derek pointed at a chair and moved it- "These scuffs marks are fresh. It's like two people were pushing the chairs constantly, trying to fight for control."

- "So?"- I swear to God, that chief was driving me insane.

- "This journal matches Charles Hankel's handwriting, but it was written after he died"- I explained. Still, it felt he wasn't following me.

- "What do you mean?"

- "Upstairs, Tobias' bedroom got junk piled from floor to ceiling, but the other bedroom could pass a military inspection."

- "So, are you telling me one of Tobias' personalities was his father?"

Apparently, I had to draw a picture so the chief would get it. Fortunately, Gideon continued explaining the whole problem before I lost what was left of my patience.

- "Well, Tobias was raised with a strict religious code, black and white, right and wrong. When his father asked Tobias to kill him, something had to give."

- "His brain couldn't handle the moral contradiction, so he split into two personalities to keep his father alive."

Hotch tried to put it most easy and simple words possible.

- "So, who is Raphael?"

- "My guess, he is a mediator between the two"- Gideon nodded at my words and sighed.

- "Angels have no human emotions, live or die. They don't care, as long it's God's will."

- "We need to start profiling Tobias' father. He may be the one who chose where to take Reid."

Finally, I felt we were going somewhere.

When Emily and JJ came back, they gave us the news. Tobias was addicted to Dilaudid, which explained the fracture in his mind, and how he lived with three distinct personalities.

The police chief announced a computer store robbery, giving us some hopes that Tobias would use them to track him down.

- "Guys!! Guys!! get in here!!- I heard Derek shouting and I ran to the computer room. I felt sick in the stomach in less than a second. There he was, Spencer. My Spencer Walter Reid, tied to a chair, bleeding, shoeless. Clearly tortured.

- "He's been beating,"- I whispered, feeling my eyes water up. I would have given anything to be there instead of him.

- "Can you track him?!"- JJ yelled by my side, and I nearly smacked her. That's how sensitive I was feeling.

- "Hankel's only streaming this to his home computer."- Garcia whispered. And my heart dropped with those words.

That wasn't what I was supposed to hear. We were supposed to find him and bring him back safe.

- "This is for us"- Gideon didn't take his eyes from the screen- "He knows we are here."

- "I'm gonna put this guy's head on a stick"- Morgan was so mad I believed him. I wanted to do the same, if worse.

- "I'm gonna kill him myself as soon as we find him,"- I said and felt Aaron's hand on my shoulder as he asked Garcia

- "Why can't you locate him?"

- "He's rerouting to a different IP address every 30 seconds. I can't track him."

It knew it had to be hard if Penelope couldn't find her, but that didn't help. If anything, it made everything worse. I felt powerless. Hankel couldn't be more intelligent than us.

Spencer's point of view

- "Are you ready, boy?"- Hankel pulled my hair and forced me to look at him. I was still as high as fuck, but knew I was about to be tortured again.

- "Ready for what?"

- "My weakling son thinks God gave you to him for a reason"- if the reason was to get me into drugs, then the answer was yes.

Hankel placed a video camera in front of me.

- "Can you really see inside men's minds?"- he asked me and made a pause, pointing to three screens- See these vermin?

It took me a second to realize he was showing me images of real people. He had put cameras in those people's houses. How? When? What kind of sick game did he want me to play with him?

- "Choose one to die. I let you choose one to live."

- "No"- I didn't even think about my answer.

- "I thought you wanted to be some kind of savior."

- "You are a sadist and a psychotic break. You won't stop killing. Your word is not true."

I don't know if it was because of the drugs or because I hadn't eaten or drank any water in too long, but I was somehow resigned and tired of fighting.

- "The other heathens are watching- Hankel announced and pointed at the camera in front of me."

My eyes fixated on the camera right away. My team was watching me. (Y/N) was watching me. I didn't want to make her worry even more. I needed her to know I was ok. I know I wasn't, but I didn't want her to worry about me.

- "Choose a sinner to die, and I'll say the name and address of the person to be saved"- Hankel was sick. It was all a game, and religion was just an excuse to kill.

- "I won't get to choose who gets slaughtered and have you leave their remains behind like a poacher."

Hankel didn't like my answer, 'cos he grabbed me and pulled me up, looking into my eyes, insulted, annoyed, losing his temper.

- "Can you really see into my mind, boy?"

He was honestly scary, and it petrified me to think he could execute me right there, in front of the team, and I could never tell them how much they mean.

- "Can you see I'm not a liar?!"- he insisted. I nearly whimpered but made my best not to break- "Choose one to die and save a life. Otherwise, they are all dead."

He dropped me on the chair and turned around. It was clear he wasn't joking. I took a deep breath and nodded.

- "Alright, I'll choose who lives."

- "They are all the same"

My eyes traveled across all the monitors. It was nearly impossible to pick one person to live, knowing all the other people there would die. Hankel was sick, and I had to set a plan to escape because otherwise, I would end up dead.

- "Far right screen,"- I whispered. He turned around and nodded.

Then, he recited the name and address of the woman on the screen. I prayed for the team to find her before Hankel came after her too.

No. It wasn't Hankel this time.

- "Raphael,"- I whispered, and he nodded. I looked at the screen again. The woman we were watching picked up the phone. She was in her kitchen. He walked around, frowned, and turned to her computer. In a second, she had turned it off. My team had reached her. She was safe, I hoped.

Hankel turned the camera off and looked at me.

- "You've done your part. Now it's my turn."

I knew what that meant. It wasn't good.

He left the cabin, and all I could see were the monitors in front of me. Those people were going to die. They were going to die because I didn't pick them. I killed them. You don't need to pull a trigger to kill someone. I could never forget those words. And this time, they meant more than anytime before. I didn't press a trigger, but I had killed two innocent people. And I actually had to watch them die.

When I saw Rapahel walk into the victims' house, I tried to close my eyes and think of anything else. A part of me kept thinking he wasn't going to kill them. He just wanted to threaten me.

But not. Raphael slaughtered them.

I found myself craving whatever it was that Tobias had given me the night before. The drug in my veins had given me a kind of peace I had never felt. And I never thought I'd have either. The type of peace that can be addictive, 'cos it turns your head off. And God knows, sometimes I needed to turn my head off.

Remembering everything that has ever happened to me, especially all the awful things, wasn't a gift. It was a burden. And whatever it was that Tobias had put in my veins, it had taken that burden from my shoulders, at least for a couple of hours.

Who wouldn't want some more of that peace?

- "Reid!"- Gideon's voice took me from my thoughts. He was sitting right in front of the camera in the victim's house. He was there with Hotch and the police, investigating the crime scene.

- "If you are watching this, you are not responsible for this. You understand me? he is perverting God to justify murder. You are stronger than him. He can not break you."

I know he meant it. But I couldn't believe any of that, not after watching a family get slaughter just because I didn't pick them.

(Y/N)'s point of view

- "I thought you were going to try and get some rest,"- I said as JJ walked to me in silence. I made myself my hundredth cup of coffee, and she just showed up next to me, trying to engage in conversation, I guess.

- "Everybody else is working. I should be too."

- "We can handle it,"- I whispered and refused to look at her. I swear I was trying not to hate her, but it was getting harder and harder with every hour that passed without finding Reid.

- "It's funny, I keep thinking the one thing we need to crack this case is... well... Reid"- she chuckled, nervously and I just looked at her and nodded. I didn't even smile. I didn't move a muscle.

I didn't want to be with her, or anyone, as a matter of fact. And I wasn't going to hide it anymore. So I tried to walk away.

- "You think Reid and I should have stayed together at the barn, don't you?"

I stopped walking and looked at her. You could tell she was having a hard time facing the whole situation, and most of all, you could tell she felt guilty.

That really didn't stop me from being mad at her. I was trying to be the better woman during the investigation, but the uncertainty was getting on my nerves.

- "JJ, go get some rest,"- I tried to answer calmly, but I knew I was looking at her like she was dead to me.

- "I can tell that's what you are thinking, so..."

- "I just wanna get Spencer home safe."

- "But... if I had his back like I was supposed to do, he'd be here now"- and that was enough.

- "JJ, what the fuck do you want from me?"

- "I just...."- she was about to cry, you could tell- "I want someone to tell me the truth."

- "You want the truth? Ok, there you go: I would have never left him alone. None of this would have happened if I had been the one with him out there! 'cos I would never let anyone or anything hurt him!!"

I shouted. All the anger I had been feeling those days was finally getting off my chest. And fuck, it felt good.

- "You fucked it up, JJ, and if something happens to Spencer, I am never going to forgive you, never!"

JJ bit her lips, trying her best not to cry. But I still couldn't feel sorry for her.

- "Is that the truth you were looking for?"

- "(Y/L/N)?"- Hotch stood next to me with the most annoyed look in his eyes.

I knew I was out of line, but this wasn't about work anymore. This was personal. This was Reid we were talking about, and JJ had fucked it up. There was nothing to discuss.

- "What? You sent him with her, now she is here, and he isn't. What else is there to say?"

- "(Y/N)!"- Hotch followed me as I stormed out of the kitchen and out of the cabin- "(Y/N)! stop!"

- "What?!"- and I simply snapped- "Are you gonna suspend me for telling her the truth? Are you going to fire me for losing my shit while working a case!? Fine! I don't care! I don't give a fuck! All I care about right now is that my best friend is missing, and a fucking psychopath has him! That's all I can think of. That's all I've been thinking about for the last two days!"

I was yelling at Hotch. I was yelling at my unit chief. I was fucked. I knew he was going to fire me after that. But I couldn't help it. I was going insane. Tears kept falling from my eyes as I held my cup of coffee tight, holding onto it with my life.

- "(Y/N), we are all worried about Reid."

- "I know you are all worried. I am too, and I'm also afraid and mad and going fucking insane knowing I am standing here not knowing what to do to save him."

- "That doesn't give you the right to treat JJ like this is her fault"- I don't know if he was talking like my unit chief or like a father figure trying to end a fight between two of his kids.

- "Did she stay with Reid?"- I simply replied and looked at Hotch in the eyes- "Did she?"

- "She is not the only one who feels guilty, so do I. And I know I won't forgive myself if anything happens to Reid."

Hotch made a pause and tried to find a way to say what he wanted to say. The door opened, and Gideon walked to us. He knew what was going on, and he didn't say a thing. I was sure he had already heard everything. We weren't actually arguing quietly.

- "We are not getting any closer,"- Aaron finally said.

- "Reid is brilliant. He'll figure out how to survive"- Gideon's words were way more hopeful than my thoughts. In my mind, Reid was too scared to think of a way to escape.

- "You know, I always take advantage of Reid for his brain. But I never actually teach him how to deal with things emotionally."

Hotch whispered, and his words were filled with regret. I was filled with anger and anxiety, and I know the two of them felt the same. But they way better at handling their feelings.

- "Lead by example,"- Jason answered, probably trying to make him feel better.

- "What kind of example is that?"- I simply replied, and both of them stayed in silence.

I don't think my words helped Hotch, but I wasn't trying to do that either. I was just honest. And Hotch's emotional assistance was shit on the field. Even Gideon was better.

- "He'll make it,"- Jason reassured us and nodded- "Now stop arguing and go back to work."

Spencer's point of view

I was glad when Tobias came to me that night with a needle in his hand and put the drug into my vein. I needed some release after watching a family die 'cos I didn't save them.

- "I'm sorry I had to leave"- he excused himself, preparing the drug next to me.

- "You can leave again, and you can take me with you,"- I begged in a soft voice.

- "My father would be angry,"- he replied and didn't even look at me. This time, I didn't even argue when he wrapped the belt around my arm. I was even a little eager he'd do it faster.

- "Not if he can't find us."

- "He always finds me."

- "If you tell me where we are, my friends will come, and they'll save us."

He gave me a look, mixed with horror and resignation. It broke my heart to think for a moment of all the horrors that lead Tobias to be as sick as he was.

- "We can't be saved,"- he simply replied.

- "We can, we can, I promise. If you tell me where we are, I'll save us both."

- "Listen to me. It's not worth fighting."

Somehow, I understood why he said that. I was afraid and shaking but still did my best not to think of all the pain I was in, of the terror that haunted me day and night.

- "Tell me it doesn't make it better- he said and showed me the needle."

I couldn't say no, 'cos he was right. It did. The drugs made his horrible situation bearable. I could understand why someone decided to use something to avoid the pain. I had faced all and each one of the pain and horrors in my life sober. It was time life was a little bit sweeter, in a sick way.

I remembered being twelve. Mom had had one of her episodes the day before, she was in bed, and I woke her up. I walked into her room and opened the curtains. It was already five in the afternoon, and she still refused to get out of bed.

- "The doctor says you need to get out of bed,"- I argued when she repeated she was just resting.

- "I've been reading"

- "He says you need exercise"- she sighed and tried to make a joke.

- "That's because his idea of good literature is Our bodies, ourselves."

- "Well, he is your doctor."

- "He is a neanderthal"- I gave up and started walking out of the room. She just laid in bed and looked at me.

- "Where are you going?"

- "I'm going to see if Jeff wants to play"- Jeff was our next-door neighbor and my only friend growing up.

- "Come here. Let me read to you."

I know Garcia made fun of me when I said my mother used to read me Valentine's sonnets when I was a kid. Most people think I have a weird relationship with mom, but they don't understand what it was like growing up with her. They don't know what it was like for a twelve-year-old boy to finish high school, facing bullies. Handling the pressure of being a kid genius and the fact I had to take care of a schizophrenic mother.

How come I didn't start using drugs earlier?

I remember that afternoon I sat next to my mother, and she made me pick one of the many books she had with her on the bed. I choose Proust. I knew she loved it. I loved it as well.

"For a long time, I used to go to bed early. Sometimes, when I had put out my candle, my eyes would close so quickly that I had not even time to say, "I'm going to sleep."

I can still hear her voice, reading to me. Both of us avoided reality for a while, hiding in the books. I always do it regardless. I hide in the books to forget. I hide in knowledge to avoid acknowledging the real personal issues I have. I hide in my work saving people when no one ever saved me.

I work catching psychopaths when I know I might actually have a mental issue myself. I might end up just like mom, and it frightens me so much; there are many nights I can't even close an eye. If I get sick too, then no one will take care of her. I am the only one in her life. And she is the only one in mine.

She and (Y/N), but there is no way my best friend would ever take care of me if I got sick. Not because she wouldn't want to do it, but because I would never let her. I don't want to be a burden in her life. And she would hate me, I know. And I could never live in a world where (Y/N) hates me. Not then, not now.

(Y/N). She is the best thing that happened to me in the BAU. Yes, I had a family with my team, but she was different. She was my life. She was the reason why I smiled. She was the one person that made me feel I was important to someone. I knew the rest of my friend loved me, but I loved her.

That was it. I loved (Y/N). And I was scared I was never going to see her again.

(Y/N)'s point of view

I was standing next to Penelope. She kept trying to force me to eat. She knew I was living on coffee, but I just couldn't swallow anything. She held my hand as the two of us stared at the screens, hopefully waiting for Hankel to make contact again.

- "Any more signs of Reid?"- JJ walked over to us slowly and looked at me, afraid I might snap on her again. I just shook my head and sighed, doing my best to be nice to her.

- "He just posted the last murder online."

- "It had over 17 thousand hits in the first twenty minutes,"- Penelope added, and her voice was so full of revulsion. It was clear she couldn't handle the horror in the human mind.

- "I want to see it,"- JJ said, and I frowned, confused.

- "No, you don't,"- Garcia answered and looked at me- "Come on, munchkin, just eat one cookie, please."

- "Don't tell me what I want and don't want!"- JJ's tone shocked us both. She was severe and angry. She was rude at Penelope, and for a second, I almost snapped again.

- "If I can't watch this..."- JJ whispered and glued her eyes on the screen- "I have no business being in the field."

She looked at me when she was done talking, and for once during those awful days, I felt some kind of compassion for her. She had to be feeling like shit, no doubt, and no matter how mad I was at her, she was still my friend, and I didn't want her to suffer either.

- "JJ, it's not a competition,"- I tried to say in the softest voice possible.

- "I... I need to see it."

- "If you stop being affected by things, you lose parts of yourself, you know."

It was somehow ironic that I was the one saying those things. Me of all people in that team. Me, the one who was afraid the most of losing herself in work.

- "Show me"- she finally looked at Garcia, ignoring my words, and Penelope pleased her. She pushed play and simply said

- "I won't watch this with you."

García held my hand, walking me out of the room, leaving JJ alone in the room. She sighed and wiped the tears that started falling down her eyes.

- "I don't know how you do it either"- she whispered- "I don't know how you watch those things every day and don't go insane."

- "If it makes you feel better, I don't know how I do either, and it scared me to think my heart might be numbing with each case we solve. With every psychopath we catch."

- "We are gonna find him"- she assured me and held my hands tight- "We are bringing him home safe, I swear."

- "Let's go find Gideon,"- I said, nodding at her words- "He needs to know Tobias posted the last murder."

Jason was mad, beyond furious. He was losing it. Derek and Prentiss kept trying to crack Hankel and discover where he had taken Reid. Meanwhile, Garcia, Gideon, and I made our best to take the video of the murder from the web.

- "I have a list of everyone from the file-sharing chain. I could send out a mass warning that the video is actually a virus,"- Garcia said and started typing as fast as possible. I just stared at the screen, waiting for something, anything to happen.

But I wasn't waiting for what came next.

- "Confess your sins"- Hankel's voice made me jump, and the sight of Reid, still tied to that chair, bleeding, and being tortured, broke my heart again.

- "Confess!!"- that sick psychopath shouted and hit him.

- "I haven't done anything,"- Spencer sobbed, but it was useless. Hankel kept punching him, over and over again, even when my best friend begged for mercy.

I felt Jason hold my hand as I was holding Garcia's. The three of us felt powerless, useless, angry, and scared, all at the same time. I couldn't bear to watch Reid being tortured, but at the same time, I was so glad he was still alive.

That until Hankel beat him so hard, he pushed him back in the chair, and Reid started convulsing.

- "He is killing him,"- Penelope cried, and I closed my eyes, biting my lips. Spencer was choking, and that mother fucker just stood there, watching him die.

- "That's the devil vacating your body"- he spit those words as Reid simply passed out. I didn't know if he was dead. I didn't know if he was going to make it. Shit! I didn't know anything.

I let go of Jason and Penelope and stormed out of the room. I was unprofessional, and I knew it, but I knew I would quit if anything happened to Reid. I wasn't going to stay working at the BAU if Spencer died.

- "Are you ok?"- Derek grabbed my arm. I just broke into tears and held him tight. He wrapped his arms around me and let me cry.

- "He's dying! We can't find him!!"- I sobbed against his chest.

- "(Y/N)! (Y/N)!"- I heard Penelope yelling as we all rushed back to the computer room. Hankel was giving CPR to Reid, trying to bring him back to life.

- "Come on, come on, please,"- I begged as I watched him pushing his chest over and over again until Spencer woke up, gasping for air.

- "Thank God!"- Hotch sighed and rubbed his hands against his face. The whole team let out a breath of relief simultaneously, and I kept watching Reid. His opened eyes gave me hope.

- "Wait,"- Prentiss said suddenly- "When was the video of the last murder posted?"

- "Nine thirty"- Penelope answered

- "And when was the time of death?"

- "The 911 call came in at 9:04, and the murder must have been moments later."- Hotch added and didn't even turn to look at Prentiss. We were all still shocked looking at the screen.

- "That's just a 19 minutes difference,"- I said and turned to García- "How long would it take to post that file?"

- "Two or three minutes."

- "Let's call it two,"- I said, getting excited- "You figure a maximum of 60 miles an hour in a residential area. That means Hankel has to be within a 17-mile radius of the crime scene."

For a second, I felt I was rambling facts just like Reid would. It made me miss him even more.

- "García, can we see it on the map?"- Aaron whispered. He was clearly affected, and it also made me feel selfish, knowing I had made a tantrum with the whole team, forgetting they were suffering as well.

- "Call chief Farraday"- Jason commanded as soon as we saw the map of the area on the screen- "I want that area locked down like it's martial law."

JJ stood up and grabbed her phone but didn't make the call. García warned us something was going on with Reid and all of us stared at the screen in silence.

Spencer was on his back on the floor, still tied to a chair. It was clear he wasn't fully conscious of what was happening.

- "You came back to life,"- mother fucker Hankel said, spitting the words in anger.

- "Raphael,"- Reid whispered, recognizing one of his personalities.

- "There can be only one of two reasons."

- "I was given CPR,"- my friend whispered, but it was clear that wasn't one of the psycho's options.

- "There are no accidents. How many members of our team are watching us right now?"

- "Seven."

- "The seven angels who had the seven trumpets prepared themselves to sound. The first sounding followed hail, and they were thrown to the earth."

- "He thinks it's the revelations"- Hotch explained- "The seven archangels versus the seven angels of death."

I didn't know much about religion, but it didn't take a genius to figure out he didn't believe we were the good guys.

- "Tell me who you serve."

- "I serve you,"- Reid answered right away. His voice was a whisper. He had to be exhausted.

- "Then choose one to die"

- "What?!"

- "Your team members, choose one to die"- I knew what he was going to answer at that, and I didn't want to hear it.

- "Kill me,"- he replied immediately, and I closed my eyes, unable to watch what would happen next.

- "You said you weren't one of them."

- "I lied."

- "Your team has seven other members. Tell me who dies."

- "No"- Penelope gasped, and Prentiss cursed. I opened my eyes and nearly fainted. Hankel had a gun pointed against Reid's forehead.

The silence amongst the team was unbearable. Neither of us knew what to do. We were all panicking, praying, desperate.

- "Choose and prove you'll do God's will."

- "No."

Neither of us moved. Neither of us breathed until Hakel pulled the trigger, and no bullet came out. I nearly sigh, but it wasn't over.

- "Choose"- he repeated

- "I won't do it"- Hankel didn't even wait. He just pulled the trigger, and we all jumped at the same time. He was safe again.

- "Life is a choice."

- "No,"- Reid repeated once again. And Hankel pulled the trigger for the third time.

- "Choose"- and for the first time, Spencer made a pause. Was going to pick one of us to die?

- "I choose"- the whispered- "Aaron Hotchner."

Derek and I looked at him, and his pale face didn't move a muscle.

- "He's the classic narcissist. He thinks he's better than everyone else on the team. Genesis 23:4 "Let him not deceive himself, and trust in emptiness, vanity falseness, and futility, for these shall be his recompense."

Hotch stormed out of the room as Hankel pulled the trigger one more time and shot the wall.

I felt I was going to puke. If Reid hadn't picked one of us, he would be dead.

- "For God's will,"- the mother fuck said, as he put another bullet in the gun after removing the casing.

I couldn't look anymore. I followed Gideon and Derek to find Aaron going through all Tobias's diaries on the table.

- "I'm not a narcissist,"- he said as soon as he saw us.

- "Come on. Look, you can't think anything from that"- Jason tried to calm him down, in case he was somehow affected by what Reid had just said on camera- "He is not in his right mind, Hotch."

- "No, stop, stop. Alright, everybody, right now: what's my worst quality?"

He had to be kidding. We all stared at him, muted, lost in that conversation. What was his point? Neither of us said a word. We just looked at each other, confused and awkward.

- "Ok, I'll start. I have no sense of humor."

- "You are a bully,"- JJ added.

- "You can be a drill sergeant sometimes,"- I said, and he nodded.

- "Right."

- "You don't trust women as much as men"- you could feel it in Prentiss's voice. That one was personal.

- "Ok, good. I'm all these things, but none of you said that I ever put myself above the team because I don't, ever. Reid and I argued about the definition of classic narcissism, and he knew that I would remember that. He also quoted Genesis chapter 23, verse 4. Read it."

Hotch gave me the book. He wasn't even breathing as she spoke. He was in a hurry. We were all.

- "I'm a stranger and a sojourner with you. Give me property, forbear a place among you that I may bury my dead of my sight."

- "He wouldn't get it wrong unless it were on purpose."

- "He is in a cemetery."- I said and looked at him. He nodded, and I swear to God, I saw a slight smile on his lips. That smile was hope. We were getting closer.

Spencer's point of view

I took a sip of water. I hadn't drunk in days, and my throat burned. I was still a little lost, still a little off.

- "Tobias, is that you?"- I saw him nod, sitting next to me. He moved the cup of water closer so that I could drink some more.

- "Thank you,"- I whispered and looked at him- You saved my life- he stared down at the ground and finally whispered

- "I'm sorry."

- "Why?"

- "He'll win in the end."

It was sad to see Tobias Hankel's good person locked inside a sick mind that also held a psychopath like his father.

- "Tobias, I need to know something. It's important. Are we in a cemetery?"- and he nodded. I smiled at him and sighed, relieved. Help was coming. My team was coming.

- "I used to come here to get high."

- "I was right."

- "No one bothers you here. I never told anyone about it."

He wrapped his belt around my arm, and I turned to him, still smiling. I didn't know if I were happy I was right or glad I would get high again. Maybe both. Maybe the second 'cos the minute that needle got to my vein, that sweet, sweet release felt like a bath of joy that washed away any pain, regret, or guilt I could have ever felt.

Guilt. I've had my share of that. I remember the day I had my mom admitted to the hospital. She hadn't eaten in days. She wouldn't take care of herself, and they're just so much I could do. I wasn't able to keep her safe from herself, from her mind.

- "What are these men doing here?"- she asked me as I walked with two nurses into the study. She was writing and reading. It was all she did, preparing lectures for classes she didn't have to give, in imaginary campuses.

I stood in front of her and hesitated for a second. It was the hardest thing I had ever done, telling mom I was taking her away from her own house.

- "They are from the hospital. They are here to help,"- I whispered and looked at my mother's confused expression. She was so thin. She looked so sick. I felt so guilty I couldn't do better for her.

- "I don't need help, and you can't be here without permission, tell them, Spencer."

She looked down at her books again and tried to continue writing. I took a deep breath, I knew I would break her heart, but there was nothing else I could do.

- "I called them"- she looked at me in pain. Deep, honest pain. Like I had just shattered her heart. Which I had done.

- "Spencer"- she simply whispered and stared into my eyes, begging for an explanation. I was trying my best not to cry. I had a whole speech prepared. I was going to tell her how much I loved her. I was going to explain to her how good it was for her to be in a place where someone could continuously take care of her. I had facts and statistics, but all I managed to say was:

- "I'm doing this for you."

And I felt like a liar. 'Cos, there was a part of me that was doing it for myself too.

- "This isn't legal"- she shook her head in shock and kept trying to find a good explanation to what was going on.

- "Your son is eighteen, ma'am. He can act in your welfare,"- one of the make nurses explained to her.

- "You need help,"- I said and prayed she could understand. But she just burst into tears and begged.

- "I wanna stay here!"

- "I'm... sorry, mom."

- "Please, these are my things, this is my life..."

Those men took her. They took her from her house and put her in a hospital. No. I put her there. I put my mom in a hospital so I could live my life, 'cos I am selfish and couldn't take care of her anymore.

- "Spencer, please, don't do this to me."

Those were the words that haunted me day and night. And my mother's crying face, begging me not to take her from her own house.

What kind of a son am I? I did that to her. I put her in a mental place 'cos I couldn't deal with her disease anymore. 'Cos I didn't know how to take care of her.

- "What are you sorry for, boy?"- I heard Hankel ask when I woke up. I was muttering, "Sorry" as I came back from my trip.

- "I sent her away."

- "Who."

- "My mom. I couldn't help her."

- "Is that a confession?"- I nodded and looked around, confused. Lost. High- "You know the bible. Exodus 21:17"

- "And he that curseth his father or his mother shall surely be put to death,"- I whispered, scared and full of regret.

I heard him walk towards me. He kneeled and uncuffed me. I didn't know what was happening. Honestly, I was still too high to get what was going on around me.

- "Grab a shovel,"- he commanded and walked outside.

I was too weak to dig fast. I don't know how I was actually moving, but I was digging my own grave. I never thought I would ever end up doing such a thing. It's not something you think about, actually. Not unless you work in the BAU. Here, you start analyzing and considering the way you'll die: 'Cos you could, every day.

- "I ought to bury you alive in there, give you some time to think about what you've done,"- Hankel said and looked at me while I worked, playing with a knife.

- "I know what I've done."

- "Don't talk back to me! Dig!"

I pant and kept moving, very slowly, trying to buy myself some time too. I was sure the team was coming to get me any minute now. I was counting on them, though the more I thought about it, the less worthy of salvation I felt. Maybe I deserved to die after all.

I was almost certain I had seen some lights moving in the back. Flashlights. But it could be my mind playing tricks on me. I was too tired. And still too high, too.

- "Dig faster!"- he commanded me as I moved, losing my breath.

- "I'm not strong enough"- I cried, 'cos I felt like that. Like a failure, a child that aimed to be a grown-up and failed miserably. A bad son. The worst agent. A fake that deserved to die.

- "You are all weak!! Get out of there!"

Hankel took off his coat and left it on the ground. I slowly moved so he could dig for me, but the lights in the back took my attention, and he noticed. As soon as he turned around, I quickly grabbed his coat and reached out for the gun.

- "You've only got one bullet, son,"- he said as he looked at me. And I just pulled the trigger.

I shot him. I killed him. Hankel. Raphael. Tobias. I freed Tobias. Or at least, that is what I wanted to think.

- "Reid!!"- I heard (Y/N) yelling as I crawled to Tobia's body. He was still awake. He was himself.

- "You killed him"- he said, and he was relieved- "Do you think I'll get to see my mom again?"

- "I'm sorry,"- I whispered, and he was gone.

- "Reid!!"

(Y/N) yelled and ran over. She kneeled next to me and held me in her arms. I couldn't move, because for a few seconds, I couldn't believe she was real. She was there.

- "Honey, honey, are you ok? Can you hear me?"- she said, and tears started falling from her eyes- "Honey, it's me."

I just looked at her and hugged her. I hugged her as my life depended on it. There she was, next to me, finally.

- "I thought I was never going to see you again,"- I whispered and sobbed.

The urge to kiss her filled my whole body. I needed to taste her. I needed to show her how much I had needed her those days. But I knew I couldn't.

I didn't want to let her go. I didn't for a few minutes. I just hold onto her for my sanity. She kissed my forehead, cupping my face with both hands.

- "I'm so happy to see you. I'm glad you are ok... let's go to the ambulance, ok?"- I nodded but didn't let her go. I felt I could hold her forever. I wanted to keep her close for as long as I lived.

But the rest of the team gathered around us, and I wanted to thank them too. I needed to thank Hotch. So as soon as I let (Y/N) go, I wrapped my arms around him.

- "You alright?"- he asked me.

- "I knew you'd understand,"- I managed to say with tears falling from my eyes and a knot in my throat.

For a moment, I thought I was never going to see the team again. My family.

JJ held me close and apologized. I knew she felt guilty for leaving me alone, but I was the only one culpable for what had happened. I wanted to prove myself, and all I managed to do was prove I was a fool. A useless SSA.

- "It's alright, it wasn't your fault,"- I said and did my best to smile at her. But I know I failed. Gideon grabbed my arm and nodded.

- "Let's get you out of here."

- "Please,"- I whispered before we started walking- "Can I have a second alone?"- he looked at me and nodded, looking at Tobias' body lying by our side. He walked away, and I kneeled next to my capturer.

But instead of paying my respects, instead of cursing. Instead of anything, I took the Dilaudid bottles from his pocket and put them into mine.

And that's how the real hell started.

--

DIWK Taglist:

@all-tings-diego @big-galaxy-chaos @svveet-peas @muffin-cup @shilohpug

Spencer taglist

@calm-and-doctor

General Taglist

@spenxerslut @ash19871962

–

Do you want to be on the taglist or ramble about this chapter with me? Just send me a message here.

Next update: May 5th, 2021

[mayabooowrites]

Betrayal///J.P

Summary: Peter betrays you and James, hoping only James would have died.

You walk upstairs and see your husband smiling at the little boy baby fast asleep in the crib "Let him sleep James." You say and James looks over at you and smiles even wider seeing you, you just make him so happy your his amazing beautiful wife

"I know darling but look at his chubby cheeks so cute." James says as he was just so happy, he's been like this since Harry was born and Harry is now one so your wondering if this is gonna go to when Harrys a teen, James saying 'aww look at our fifteen year old sons cheeks so chubby and cute.' And Harry is just sitting there like why is he my dad

Maybe just maybe James will grow out of it before then and not do it when Harry is a teenager "I know he's cute but he needs to sleep ok?" You say and James nods and you drag him out of the room. You both spent most of the night not doing much, but Harry started to cry probably a nightmare

"I got it." James says kissing the top of your head and you smile as he walks upstairs and gets Harry, then walks downstairs and sits beside you on the couch "It's ok you can hangout with mommy and daddy until you fall back to sleep." James says as he rubs Harrys back as he had to get up and get a blanket for Harry, so he handed Harry to you

"Sweetie it's ok it's time to calm down and go to sleep." You say and James came back and wrapped the blanket around Harry as you calmed him down

"Maybe try getting the stuffed puppy Sirius got him, he loves it so maybe that will clam him down James." You say and James nods and thinks where Harry had it last

So James walks around the house trying to find it, he found it in Harrys crib where he put it so Harry could sleep, James just laughs at his absentmindedness 'Man having a kid really makes you forgetful huh?' James thinks as he grabs it and walks downstairs, and then gets Harrys attention "Look it's padfoot." James say and yes Sirius did name it after himself, he wouldn't allow you and James to call it anything different

Harry stopped crying as he looked at James as he tries to get harry laughing, which works and Harry starts laughing then hugs his stuffed animal

"Well I'm glad he's finally stopped crying." You say and James kisses Harrys forehead, then James kisses you and you kiss him back, you love your life so much, you got the best husband ever and the best kid ever and yesterday you found out your pregnant again, which you haven't told James yet you were gonna a different day, and make it special but your done waiting and decided to tell him now "James by the way I found out yesterday I'm pregnant." You say and James was shocked

"Wait really?" He says and you nod your head and James kisses you again and you were so happy, yes it's a bit too early to have another kid but well Harry will have a brother or sister close to his age to hangout with at least.

"I know were already stressed out enough with Harry, but at least he'll have a sibling close to his age to hangout with right?" You say and James nods as he was extremely happy, he just wanted a perfect happy life with you, and that's what he's getting he has you, Harry and now another one on the way best life ever

"I can't wait to tell remus, Sirius and peter about the baby this is amazing." James says as he couldn't wait to raise Harry and another kid with you, your his soulmate and he's so glad he found you and is with you, everyday is a gift for him to be with you and have this amazing life

"Well I was gonna make it more special but I decided who cares." You say and James nods he was just happy to know, he didn't care if it was a special way to tell him, he's just glad he knows that's all

"I love you so much y/n." James says as he caresses your cheek and you smile

"I love you too James." You say but then as James was about to kiss you again, a knock on the door was heard

James and you were confused who was here? And why? No one knows where you both are to protect you both, well expect peter also it was very late so why would peter be here?

But James opens the door holding his wand and sees a disheveled peter, he looked terrified you and James were obviously confused, why is peter here late in the night?

"You weren't followed right?" James asks and peter shakes his head no and James let's him inside the house, as James looks around outside and sees nobody, then walks inside and locks the door behind him "Oh peter hey y/ns pregnant again just wanted to say that, now why are you here?" James says as he seemed so happy and peter nods as he looks at you holding Harry smiling at Harry, you were so happy and peter hated it

"I.....See.......Congrats." Peter says as James wasn't looking, since Harry starting saying baby gibberish, and James looked over peter glares at him and stops when James looks back at peter

"Why are you here?" James says and peter doesn't answer which confused James and you so james asked again and finally peter answers

"I had a bad feeling, and came over to check on you three." Peter says and James nods

"Oh well we're good, you know the four of us." James says smiling at you and you chuckle "Harrys just having a rough night tonight happens, especially after he has a nightmare he doesn't get much sleep then, and well neither do we." James explains and peter nods as he kept looking out the window which you noticed, it was like he was looking for someone or waiting for someone?

Wait was he followed? If he was followed why did he lie and say he wasn't? Also why does he look like a mess? What is going on?

"Peter why are you a mess?" You ask seeing how terrible he looked and he smiled hearing the worry for him in your voice

'Voldemort just needs to kill James that's it I can get y/n out of here, I don't care what happens to Harry but as long as y/n is safe I don't care, y/n is all I care about she's all that matters to me.' Peter thinks and that's why he was here to see to it that James dies and you don't "Sorry I was so worried for you three for the past few days." Peter says and James hugs peter

"Your such an amazing friend peter." James says and peter felt like cringing when James said that, because peter was really only a good friend to you he doesn't care about James at all

'I wish y/n never met James then I'd be with her, I loved her first! So why does James get her? It's no fair.' Peter thinks as he felt so jealous of James he got the life he wants, you as his wife and kids with you, but no James get it like the spoiled brat he is 'James potter getting exactly what he wants, of course he always gets whatever he wants, he has y/n and a perfect life for his perfect self. Like why didn't y/n love me! I was always so nice to her, I was the one who was there for her for so long! But suddenly perfect James Potter comes into the picture and she's so in love with him then! It's no fair!' Peter thinks as he hated James the moment he found out you liked him and James liked you back, Peter was there when you were getting bullied by Slytherins for being a muggleborn but no you go for rich perfect James Potter

"Well do you want anything? Tea?" James asks and peter shakes his head

"I'm good no thanks prongs." Peter says as Harry had finally fallen back to sleep

"He finally fell asleep so please be quiet." You say and James looks over and smiles at Harry, and then he kisses your cheek then goes back to talking to peter who looked angry? Why is he angry

Peter looks out the window then sighed relieved which James looked confused but then the door was broken down, immediately James grabbed a hold of you and his wand

"Y/n get upstairs!" James yells and you were stunned for a second as you looked at the hooded figure

"James we need to leave!" You say and James pushes you upstairs as he held his wand ready to defend you and Harry

"Protect Harry I'll hold him off!" James yells so you could hear him "I LOVE YOU." James yells as well and he heard you tell I love you too be careful

James just looked at peter knowing he betrayed you and him

"I thought you were my friend peter." James says and peter laughs

"The moment you took y/n from me our friendship was gone." Peter says and James was confused he never took you from peter? You both were friends yes, but you both weren't like dating and then he came in and got you both broken up

"She was never yours peter, you were friends, if you had feelings maybe you should have confessed before I did, she wa never yours, she is her own person and can fall in love and be with anyone she wants, she's not an object stop acting like she is!" James says as he was shocked that Voldemort was just letting him and peter talk it out, what did he think they could talk it out before James dies? Well he's not planning on dying

"Once your dead James y/n is mine then." Peter says smiling and James frowns he's not dying, James will see Harry grow up and be able to grow old with you, he will love out the future you both planned together

"She'll never love you peter you betrayed us."

||||||||||

You were holding Harry in your arms tightly as you heard yelling and fighting downstairs, then it stopped after someone yelled the death curse

Then you heard footsteps walking up the stairs and down the hallway to the nursery

"Harry I love you so much, if I don't make this out alive at least you will, Sirius will take good care of you he's a bit immature but you'll be happy, I love you so much and daddy loves you so much too Harry, we'll see you again some day darling." You say as you put a hand where your other child was as tears welled up in your eyes

You lay Harry down in his crib as you look in the doorway and see Voldemort "I won't allow you to kill my son, I'm gonna protect him with my life, I'll die before you touch him." You say and he nods

"Then die." He says as he raises his hand you take a deep breathe. You know your not gonna let him kill your son you'll die before that happens, even if your gonna have to sacrifice the baby in you, as long as the one that's been born stays alive it doesn't matter, Harry is way more important then the baby inside you right now, you'd willing die for Harry anyday, you did wish it could have become it's own person but well that won't happen will it? Your gonna die and if James is still alive then he can protect Harry, but if he's not which you don't believe he is, he'd be here now protecting you if he was, so now Sirius will protect Harry like the good godfather he is, you know Sirius will protect Harry the best he can. And you hope peter rots in hell for betraying you and James

"I love you so much Harry I'm sorry I won't be there for you to watch you grow up, I love you more then anything goodbye my baby." You say as you then hear avada kedavra and then peter yelling don't kill her

|Peters pov|

The dark lord had killed y/n and I fall to the ground crying as I held y/ns lifeless body, no! Why! Why! Why! Why! Why! She didn't have to die! She could have lived, I love her and James was dead she would have loved me back I know it, he promised to keep her alive for the potters whereabouts, he lied to me he killed her

I watch as then the dark lord try to kill Harry and it didn't work, I watched as he I guess died as I just held y/ns body close to me crying, I can't handle it she's dead why is she dead, she's supposed to be alive right now. But it seems the only one who survived was Harry, which why did he survive the death curse? Why couldn't y/n have been that lucky to survive it! Why didn't she survive she shouldn't have died!!!!!

I see Harry sitting there saying some baby gibberish but I stopped as he then talked I guess his first word was said

"Momma." Harry says looking at y/n and he kept saying momma over and over, like he knew something was wrong with his mom making me cry even more, she was supposed to stay alive! I did this all so I could be with y/n and Voldemort betrayed me! He killed her! He said he wouldn't kill her! But he did why did he kill her? Because y/n said she'd rather die then let Voldemort touch Harry? Is that why?

'She wasn't supposed to die, she wasn't! She was supposed to live, I betrayed them for nothing but to lose y/n, why did he kill her? He promised! He promised he wouldn't kill her if I say where Harry is so he could kill him, and now I'm stuck with James's last world to me forever in my mind, and y/ns screaming before she died I'm stuck with that as well, y/n won't ever love you because you betrayed us, and I orphaned Harry I'm the reason he won't grow up with parents, and now y/ns dead and it's all my fault I betrayed them, and now there's nothing I can do to bring them back.'

[boldlyvoid]

Amoreena | Chapter fourteen

Chapter fourteen

main summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Chapter Warnings: talks of spencers major anxiety, parental death tw (not Diana or bob and Linda), trauma talks, computer hacking and new members joining the family...

word count: 4k

from the beginning <3

Taylors biggest surprise that weekend was what she had planned for Amoreena that night.

She set up a fort in the theatre room, they had every snack imaginable and any movie of her choice to watch. Karaoke in the corner, popcorn being popped in a theatre-style machine, and 3 different, matching child and adult, princess dresses for them to choose from.

It was all an elaborate plan to keep her preoccupied until bedtime, which Taylor offered to handle so that her parents could have a little wedding night date alone.

They’re all ready for a wonderful night when Spencer’s phone started ringing.

“Hello?” Spencer answers, sneaking away from the girls so he could hear better.

“Spencer, I am so sorry to interrupt you this late, but we have a situation… it’s not something that should be discussed over the phone. Do you have someone to watch Amoreena while you and Y/N come into the bureau? As soon as you can?”

His stomach drops, he feels instantly sick. “Not until you tell me who’s dead, who’s dying or who’s trying to kill us.”

“No one is, Spencer, it’s not a case or criminal related, it’s… personal, someone is here to see you,” she sounds serious and Spencer is still just as worried.

“I’ll tell the girls,” he responds before hanging up.

Y/N is standing right behind him, listening with wide eyes as she waits to soothe his panic. They worked like a well-oiled machine, she could physically feel his anxiety and in return, something about her just being there made him physically feel better.

“What’s wrong?” Taylor asks as she appears behind Y/N, Amoreena now off changing into one of the dresses she picked.

“They won't tell me on the phone but they need me and Y/N back at Quantico as soon as possible,” Spencer explained with a pale face, “we can go in the morning.”

“I’m fine watching Amoreena for the night, there’s a hanger down the road with a few of my dad’s planes, I can have someone take you to Virginia within the next hour? It's only 7 pm, I’m sure you can be back before bedtime?” Taylor offered her services for the 100th time that day, “It’s not a problem, really, and they wouldn’t call if it wasn’t serious, they’re the FBI after all.”

With that, they said goodbye to Amoreena and told her they’d be back before she woke up in the morning. If not, she had Y/N’s cellphone for the night to call them before she goes to sleep and when she wakes up, so she won't bother Taylor that early. (Even though Taylor said she wouldn’t mind early morning Amoreena cuddles.)

He was anxious on the drive to the small airport, the old man named Norman, chartering them that night was incredibly kind, they were granted lading access in Quantico and before he could prepare, they were up in the air. He chatted up a storm with Y/N on the headset radio as Spencer overthought the upcoming chat with JJ and stared out at the world below them.

On queue, he jumped from anxious to scared when they land, before getting in the shuttle from the airstrip to the front entrance, but he’s so incredibly terrified when it comes time to actually start the walk to the bullpen.

“Will you come in with me?” His small voice asks as she is pinning a visitors tag on her shirt.

“Of course,” she smiled, taking his hand as they walked into the elevator together.

He grips her hand tighter as the elevator stops, dipping and returning to the right height and making his stomach drop the same way a rollercoaster would. He hated that feeling more than anything, having it alongside the anxiety wasn’t helpful.

He can see JJ and another girl sitting together at his old desk. She’s smiling at whatever JJ says, she looks exactly like Amoreena just with box-dyed black hair that shines purple under the lighting. She’s in all black, she pushes her glasses up her nose with her sweater hiding her hands, Spencer knows she’s a foster kid from just her posture.

“JJ,” Spencer makes their presence clear and the little girl turns to him with a huge smile, running to him and wrapping her arms around his waist. “Hi?”

She’s sobbing ten and he doesn’t know why or even who she is, he lightly holds her with complete shock on his face. He stares at JJ with wide eyes and a gaping mouth as he communicates the confusion and terror with his eyes.

“This is Josephine Elliot, or Jo as she likes to be called, her parents passed away a few months ago and she recently found out her biological father was actually a sperm donor and not her moms husband,” JJ explains a little before sighing and sitting on the edge of the desk.

“She hacked into the sperm bank and found your name, and google led her to the FBI and they stopped her at the second gate, the first only let her in thinking she was your other daughter, Amoreena.”

“I’m so sorry,” the poor girl wipes her tears with her sweater sleeves, “I don’t know why I hugged you when you don’t even know me, ew sorry.”

Spencer pulls her back into a hug, “it’s okay, you don’t have to worry about wanting a hug ever again. You can have whatever you need from me.”

She cries more, holding on to his shirt as he holds her, shushing her softly and rubbing his hand over her back. It’s weird how safe she seems this early in their acquaintance with one another, but he understands it. She’s so desperate for someone related to her to love her again, to replace what she was missing from her parents, that she’s already accepted him as a father without thinking it through. Without even know what he would be like to her.

When she finally calmed down enough, Spencer led her towards the briefing room so they could have a moment alone to talk. He wanted to know her, and she needed to know him before she made another big decision. He let her know who he was, what he used to do and the rundown on his relationship with Y/N and Amoreena.

“So you met her at the park and got married a week later because you both have dead exes and somehow through fate, you made a kid together?” She summed it up in a way that made it sound ridiculous.

“Mutual trauma is a great bonding tool, I’m sure you probably listen to rock music or anything sad and angry because you know someone feels the exact same way you do? I was like that when I was a teenager. We've both lost someone we loved and then made Amoreena out of pure luck,” he combated her snarky summary with his own profile of her.

“I actually like Taylor Swift, Paramore, Evanescence and Olivia Rodrigo when I need to scream about being sad, thank you very much,” she teased him, finding a very easy rhythm as they got to know one another.

“You’re going to lose your mind when you find out who’s with Amoreena right now,” Spencer smiles, somehow everything just fits together.

“What?” She looks so confused, scrunching her face the same way he did to push her glasses up without her hands.

“It’s a long story, but essentially we were at Taylor Swift’s house when JJ called, she’s watching Amoreena still,” Spencer explained, watching her jaw drop.

“Who the fuck are you, dude?” She whispered, and it took Spencer by surprise. “Sorry, I’m so used to swearing in front of adults lately to get my point across. But seriously, you’re so interesting…”

“Understandable,” Spencer laughs lightly at her strange compliment. “I have a lot of connections, and I’ll do anything to see the people I love, smile, that includes you now.”

“You barely know me and you’re just ready to accept that I’m your kid? Didn’t this just happen to you last week?” She laughs at the insanity of it all, “you’re going to have a million kids at this rate, dude.”

Again, she calls him dude and he knows she’s just trying to distance her emotions as they grow fonder and fonder. A coping mechanism so that she doesn’t get hurt anymore, she’s lost too much and she’s not going to love him just to lose him too.

“My dad ran out on me when I was a kid, I basically raised myself when my mom’s schizophrenia got bad, I know what it’s like to feel alone even when you’re with people who are supposed to love you,” he makes sure she knows who he is inside.

“I’m sorry,” she reaches a hand out for him, holding it softly. “I never really liked my dad growing up, he always felt off… I can’t explain it, but he was never the same guy twice he was either angry, miserable or scarily happy," she explains him and all Spencer can think is how he sounds like an unsub.

"I do miss my mom a lot, I didn’t know what else to do when I found out they couldn’t have babies together and she went to a Sperm bank without telling him. I know the names of your other kids too, besides Amoreena, I’m really surprised you found her mom without hacking the system too but, yeah, Dylan is 6 and Alice is 10, they’re both in DC with the same 2 mom’s, so if you didn’t want me, I was going to see if they would cause I’m technically their stepdaughter in a weird way and if I spent one more day in that foster home I would have ended it all,” it's a Reid rant, she's his for sure.

It takes him a minute to absorb it all, “wait, Amoreena is mine for sure?”

She nods like it’s a stupid question, “could you not tell my just looking at her? The 3 of us have the same face.”

“No, they wouldn’t tell us at the clinic,” Spencer is still in shock but more so that she got into the database so easily, “how did you do it?”

“It was easy, I had all the information about the sample my mom used so I just encrypted an email to the secretary of the sperm bank so as soon as she clicked the link to read more I’d have access to her computer, they didn’t even know I was in the system, they probably still don’t know I was there,” she explains it exactly how Penelope would.

“I don’t want you to think I’d ever not want you,” Spencer holds her hand a little tighter, “I’m not sure what the process will be like trying to get the foster agency to agree to me taking you home with us, but I’ll see what I can do. We have a big house and enough room for you in our hearts if this is where you’d like to be. I’m not saying it’ll be easy, you might hate the farm life and the isolation and all the cousins you now have, but you’re a piece of me and I’m not letting you go.”

She uses her free hand to wipe her tears on her sleeve again, “please, I know it’s not going to be the same but I miss having a family so much.”

He wraps her up in his arms, he knows the feeling all too well. One day his mom was there, the next day she was gone and no one prepared him for that. She never had to do this alone, Spencer wasn’t going to let that happen to her.

“Y/N is wonderful, you’ll love her and Amoreena. We live on a huge farm and there’s a lot to do during the day and people to spend time with, believe me, you’re going to feel so surrounded by the love you won’t know what to do with it all,” he shares from personal experience.

“Okay,” she hugged him tighter, pressing her face into his neck as he talked more, feeling the vibrations of his voice on her forehead to know that he was real. That his words were true and she was going to be taken care of.

“Is there anything about yourself that you’d like me to know? Or any questions you have? I’m sure this is going to be an interesting adjustment,” Spencer asked as he pulled away, looking down into her sweet eyes and seeing the hope she was still hanging on to.

“Is Y/N even okay with all of this? It’s her house isn’t it?”

“I’m sure she’ll be fine with it, she knew I had you and the other 2 out there somewhere, we just never expected to meet you so soon,” he’s as honest as possible, talking to her the same way he would with Henry, she seemed even more mature than him.

“Can she come in here too? I’d like to get to know her as well, see if she’s really as lovely as you say she is,” she smiled, coping with her trauma the same way he and Y/N did, with humour.

Almost like Y/N could feel him thinking about her, she knocked on the door before opening it a crack, “sorry, I have some updates,” she smiled.

Josephine smiled at her, “come in.”

Y/N sat down close to her and placed her hand on her shoulder, “my sister is a foster parent, she called her caseworker and they were able to rush the emergency next of kin paperwork, you can stay with us for as long as you would like to.”

“You’re serious? You barely know me?” She kept repeating that as if she convinced herself earlier in the day that they wouldn’t want to know her.

Y/N wrapped her up in a soft hug and Spencer saw all the tension leave Josephines body as she settled against her. It had been a long time since a mother held her, she didn’t realize how much she needed it until she was in her arms.

“You’re half Spencer, so by default you have a portion of my heart now too. I’m not going to love you as an obligation or because I feel like I have to, I love you because you’re part of him and our family,” she whispers into her hair, “I know what it’s like to be alone, you never have to be... unless we’re smothering you then I get it, but you know what I mean.”

She laughed in Y/N’s arms before pulling back. Y/N held her face in her hands and looked at her gently. She ran her fingers through her dyed hair, “you’re going to fit right in with the 4 of us.”

“Four?” She repeats, wondering who else they lived with.

“I’m pregnant,” Y/N smiles as Josephine lights up.

“I’ve always wanted to be a big sister,” she cried a little, “my mom named me after Jo from Little Women, she said she always planned to give me lots of sisters.”

“If this one is a girl she’ll be Eleonora like—“

“Like the poem, Edgar Allan Poe is one of my favourites,” Jo smiled again.

Somehow, without even being there, Amoreena’s mess of glitter glue was able to patch her older sister's broken heart right then and there too.

“I read really fast, my mom said she was going to go bankrupt buying books for me,” she opened up more and more, the hurt of the memories fading as she remembered them with happiness instead of mourning.

Her mom was gone, but the love of a mother filled her space once more. Y/N took her under her wing, keeping her warm and making sure he grew to be as happy healthy and wonderful as all her other babies.

—

They arrive at Taylor's door once again at 11:30. Amoreena is sound asleep in the spare room, not even able to change out of her princess costume or phone them to say goodnight. Taylor said she had a sugar crash and just asked to go to sleep, reminding Taylor that she had the best day ever before closing her tired little eyes.

Jo was very anxious to meet Taylor too, telling her a similar story to Y/N’s from just a few hours prior. Taylor made sure she was comfortable for the night in another spare room, making her a hot chocolate and some snacks from earlier that day at lunch. She was the best host, a wonderful friend and an even better honorary godparent to these girls of Spencer’s.

“Can I have a hug?” She sheepishly asks before she has to turn down the hall to her bedroom for the night.

Spencer answers by wrapping his arms around her and holding her close to his chest once more, he wasn’t sure how his heart could hold so much love for these girls, and still have room left to make more one day. It was a dream come true to have a family this big, no one was going to believe that he gained 3 kids and a wife in under a month.

He kissed her on the forehead gently, seeing her smile at the contact let him know it was fine. “Goodnight dad,” she whispers, pressing her lips together awkwardly the same way he did before turning down the hall and disappearing into her room.

She had only a backpack of things currently, not expecting everything to go as smoothly as it did. She had enough clothes to sleep in, and Taylor happily provided some old tour perch to her just in case she needed something new to wear. Something to help her ease to sleep that didn’t feel like she was going back to her old life in the morning.

Amoreena was going to have a field day tomorrow when she met her big sister, the beautiful girl who was busy covering her scars with bandaids provided by Spencer, but it would take a lot of time, effort and care to make her feel truly healed again. It was going to be interesting seeing Amoreena adjust to sharing him so early, especially since he knew Jo would need so much more attention to ease her anxiety moving forward.

Spencer sat on the guest bed beside Y/N, noticing all the rose petals and candles on the dresser and night tables, “oh she really had a lot planned for us.”

“She’s the fairy godmother of our dreams,” Y/N agreed with a laugh. “I don’t mind staying up late tonight if you don’t mind leaving on Monday instead?”

“I was going on suggest the same thing,” he smiled at her, leaning in to press their lips together gently for the first time since the wedding that afternoon.

“let's get into our comfy’s and go for a walk on the beach, Taylor left me the keys to lock up when we come back,” she whispered the words against his lips before smiling.

“Can I call Derek before we go? I really need to talk to him,” he’s honest with her as he pulls away, feeling really anxious and shook up at the events of the day. He needed his best friend.

“Yeah, I’ll go check out the rest of the guest house, come find me when you’re done?” She says softly, getting off the bed with a smile and stepping out of the room with a small wave.

He takes his phone out and dials the number, waiting with the phone pressed against his ear as it rings. Again and again, every new hum in his ear making his heart beat faster, “hello?” He’s finally rescued.

“Have you talked to anyone on the team lately?”

“Who died?” It was everyone’s go-to question when they got a phone call like this one.

“No one, quite the opposite actually—“

“She’s pregnant!” Derek shouts, cutting him off and Spencer can hear Savannah asking who from the background.

“Well, yeah, but that’s not why I'm calling,” Spencer replies only to be met with Derek's laughter.

“Penny and I had a bet on how long it would take.”

“She cheated because she knew we were trying,” Spencer takes the fun from him, Penelope always won. “I have another kid.”

“I know man, birth is so cool— well I’m telling him anyway,” Derek is clearly talking to Savannah and him at the same time, “we’re pregnant again too.”

“No, Derek, I’m pregnant and sick as hell while you’re perfectly fine,” she snaps back at him as she takes the phone. “You better be so kind to her Doctor Spencer Reid; rub her feet, make her breakfast, thank every god on earth and the ground she walks on for being willing to make another version of you, do you hear me?”

“Yes ma’am,” Spencer hold back a laugh, wondering when Y/N would have a hormonal switch like that, “but I didn’t mean the one in her stomach, another fully formed human of my creation walked into the BAU looking for me today.”

There’s a rustling through the phone as Derek takes it back from her, “what the fuck did you just say?”

“Her name is Jo, she’s exactly a month younger than Henry and her parents died 7 months ago,” he continues without even repeating the last part, “Derek I have 3 kids now and I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Where are you right now?”

“In Taylor Swift's guest house.”

“Spencer, be serious with me, are you doing drugs again?"

“Ask Penelope, she contacted Portia, Rossi’s stepdaughter, who contacted Taylor so I could help Y/N and Amoreena meet her, then JJ called and made us fly all the way to Quantico and now I have 2 children living with me and one on the way. Not to mention, child 1 is extremely jealous about sharing me with people and hasn’t even gotten accustomed to being a big sister, and child 2 is so traumatized she hacked the fucking sperm bank and explained it to me like it was as easy as making a sandwich. I am in over my head here, Derek.”

“Okay, that sounded more like Spencer Reid,” Derek’s calm and happy voice calms him slightly and prompts him to take a deep breath. “If she’s able to hack she’s most likely like Penelope, we can introduce them. She’ll need someone who understands the loss of a parent. Amoreena, on the other hand, you need to spend a day with just her. Take her to the movies, or to see a play or something. Let her know she’s always going to be your little girl no matter how many siblings she gets.”

“Thank you, I needed someone who wasn’t my overly optimistic wife to tell me if I could do it,” he’s overly honest, Derek is his person and will always be his person.

“I get it, thanks for calling me, I’m really glad you’re okay,” he can hear Derek's smile and all he wants is a hug from him. “How was the wedding?”

“Good, we all cried a lot,” he laughs then, “we were supposed to have a big dinner on the beach before we got called into Quantico, so I’m going to go spend time with her now, I love you, Derek,” he rushes the words out so he doesn’t get overly emotional.

“I love you too, Spencer, have a good night,” Derek hands up before they both get too emotional. They always had a knack for making the other cry in times like this.

He lets out a deep sigh before tossing his phone on the bedside table. 3 of his 5 kids were here with him and Y/N now, safe and sound. If anyone else needed him, they could wait.

tag list: @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @spookyspence @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187

@k-k0129

[navalcriminalimagines]

Backup

Request by @wow-life-love4 ❤️ : So I was hoping to request a Barba x reader; Where the reader sees Barbra back when she goes visits Carisi and she has those feeling again what she had years ago when he left!And he finally accepts the fact that she was the one as well!!!!!(Throw some angst in there I’m dying for it with fluffy ending)

Words: 3,530

Tags: @crying-river

Sorry for the typos. Enjoy. ❤️

Based on 22x04 Sightless in a Savage Land. (Of course)

(Gif isn’t mine)

*Carisi’s office*

Since Sonny got his new office, you found a comfy place on the floor, against his furniture. That’s where you were even though your former partner wasn’t there yet. There was this new case that came up in the night before, he had a few meetings while you were working on your laptop, coffee right next you and Sonny’s on his desk.

He came in a few minutes later, smiled when he saw you. He threw the box he was holding on his cabinet and sat on his desk chair. When he spotted his coffee, his smile grew wider. “You’re the best,” he said, taking a big sip.

“I know,” you smiled. “How’s the case going?”

“I’m going for murder 2, and we’ll see,” he shrugged.

One thing you love about your friendship with Sonny Carisi is that silence is comfortable. There is no awkward silence. While he worked on his paperwork, you were on your laptop. Shopping online, actually. You rescued a car a year ago and the little ball of fur has been scratching on your couch ever since. It was completely destroyed now and you needed a new one.

“Dom,” you called your best friend. “What do you think about this one?” you turned your laptop so Sonny could see it. It was a nice three places blue couch, Scandinavian style.

Sonny wheeled closer to you and bent down to look at it. “I won’t fit in that one,” he said. He’s been crashing a lot at your place for the past two years.

“Stupid long legs,” you teased him. “Although, in 4 years, you’ll be sleeping in my bed, so—“ you turned the screen back at you and kept scrolling.

Sonny laughed at that. “Only if neither of us is married,” he reminded you.

“Doesn’t look good, Dominick. I’m telling you,” you exclaimed. “You seriously need to prepare yourself to spend the rest of your life with me,”

“Wouldn’t have agreed if I wasn’t. Although, that’s not the story I wanna tell our kids,” still laying in his chair, Sonny was facing you, his legs spread as always.

“Why not?” You exclaimed. “It’s cute! Two best friends that made a deal to get together to avoid forever loneliness!” You paused and realized what he said. “Wait—kidS?” you asked, making sure the ‘s’ was heard.

“At least, four, Y/N. You know I want a big family,” Sonny told. This conversation seemed like completely normal between although it wasn’t.

“Then pry I’ll give birth to quadruplets. Cause I’m not getting pregnant four times,”

“Don’t underestimate the Carisi’s power,”

You and Sonny stopped talking for a moment, just staring at each other, until you both started to laugh. “This conversation is nonsense,” you said.

“I agree,” you heard from the doorway. You and Sonny turned like one man, to look at the man standing there. You didn’t have to look at him though. You recognized his voice from the first sound.

“Barba,” Sonny was the first to greet him. He stood up and offered his hand. Both men shook hands and Rafael’s eyes stopped on you, still sitting on the floor. You looked up to him and tried to keep a poker face. But god, he looked more handsome as ever. The beard. You asked him multiple times to keep the beard, when you and Rafael were seeing each other.

“Detective,” he greeted you.

“Counselor,” you quickly said and got your attention back on your laptop. You can’t let him see you still have feelings. And that you’re mad. Hurt, even. Rafael never made a promise to you, you two weren’t actually dating per say, but you wished he gave you a goodbye. Not just—leaving.

“What can I help you with?” Sonny rescued you.

“Mickey Davis. Can we talk about it?” He said.

You felt both men’s gaze on you and looked up, “Oh you want me gone?” You said and Sonny nodded. You stood up, put your laptop in your bag, and walked to the door. “Chinese. My place?” You asked Sonny, completely avoiding Rafael. Your best friend agreed and you would be lying if you said you didn’t hope it would make Rafael jealous.

*****

Sonny showed up at your apartment around 8. He was welcomed by Mania’s purrs, he crouched down and pet your ginger cat for a moment. You were sitting in your - destroyed - couch, with a glass a white wine. Carisi knew that seeing Barba after all those years messed with your head.

“How many?” He simply asked.

“Not enough!” You said, but you were obviously tipsy already.

He’d been there many times. He knew that trying to fight to make you stop drinking was useless. So instead, he grabbed a glass and joined you on the couch. Mania jumped on your lap. “Wanna talk about it?”

“I’m just going to say the same things I’ve been telling you for the past three years,” you said, focusing on your cat.

“But now, he’s back. And I don’t think he liked what he heard,”

You looked at Sonny, puzzled, waiting for him to continue. “He was—cold. Unfriendly. And he left saying ‘Enjoy the chinese—and the company’”

“It doesn’t mean anything, Dom. Three years went by. He probably has someone,” you were on the urge of crying but you were fighting yourself. You cried enough for Rafael.

“His lost,” Sonny put his arms around your shoulders and kissed your temple. He gave a pat to Mania, and extended his legs on the coffee table. You rested your head on his shoulder and a few tears escaped.

“Why am I not over him? Why does it still hurt?” You asked. Sonny hummed in response and you continued. “I wish we were married already. I would be committed to you, and he wouldn’t live rent free in my head,”

Sonny giggled, “You sure ‘bout that?” He asked. “Know that cheating is a deal breaker for me. Thinking of someone else while you’re with me is cheating, somehow. So technically, you’re already cheating on me,”

“I’d make up to you, but we’re not there yet. You refused to seal the deal,”

It took Sonny a few seconds to understand what you meant. “And think about Barba while I’m making love to you? Noooo, thank you,”

You grabbed the wine bottle and poured yourself another glass. Mania wasn’t pleased about you moving around so he jumped onto Sonny’s lap instead. “I need a good dick,” you sighed, laying back on the couch.

Sonny wasn’t expecting you to say that. Or at least, not like that. He was taking a sip and choked on wine. He coughed a few times, which made you laugh. “Need me to remind you what happened last year?”

“Noooo, thank you,” you mimicked him. The last year was a mess. You got drunk at Forlini’s and left with a stranger. It was okay at first, the man was good looking and very cautious with you. The sex wasn’t great. He came really fast, you didn’t have time to get pleasure. When you tried to leave, he offered you to stay with puppy eyes, and you caved. The next morning, you tried to sneak out but he heard you and he didn’t want to let you go. So you texted Sonny, asking him to call you and pretend an emergency. Thank god he did. But a few weeks later, you met the guy again at Forlini’s. It lead to a few weeks of stalking from his behalf, until you went all cop on him.

After eating chinese, you went back to drinking as Sonny stopped. You two watched some terrible show on tv until you fell asleep on his shoulders. Used to that, he moved you to your bed and crashed on your couch, with Mania cuddling to him.

*****

You showed up many times at work with hangovers. You were used to pretend you were okay and your coworkers pretended to believe you. The morning went slow, until he showed up.

“Barba!” Fin was the first to see him. “Liv isn’t here,” he continued.

“I came to see all of you—in private?” Fin, Amanda, Kat and yourself looked to one another. “I don’t have all day, detectives.”

They stood up and followed him next to interrogation rooms. But you stayed put. “Y/N,” Rafael softly said.

“Three detectives is enough,” you said, without looking at you. If you looked at him, you’d caved. And you can’t do that. He doesn’t deserve it. Not so easily. Not just because he is his handsome self.

“I hope chinese with your future husband was good,” he answered, bitterly and joined the others, closing the doors behind him. You sarcastically laughed at that. Was it jealousy? You hoped so.

A few minutes later, Liv came in with Garland. He gently greeted you and asked where were the others. You told them without thinking further. And in a minute, Barba was in Liv’s office with her and Garland. Your coworkers went back to their desks but no one talked. “Fill me in?” You asked.

“In so many words, Barba needs our help,” Amanda told you.

“He’s defending the man that Carisi is prosecuting. That’s not fair to Sonny,” you told, anger started to show up.

“Carisi can handle it,” Fin said.

“Damn right he can. But you’re making it harder for him! Our ADA is Carisi now, not Barba! He left me—us,”

You knew it was too late. Your anger toward Rafael just surfaced and the entire team now knows something had happened. Mostly angry at yourself from letting your emotions get the best of you, you grabbed your jacket and left the squadroom.

You drove to Sonny’s office and stormed in it without knocking. He immediately saw your red eyes, and furry in them. “Barba asked the squad for help! And I think they are in!” You were pacing in the small place, making Sonny’s head spin. “They are going behind your back for him! They are helping him, knowing it will make it harder for you! He just—snapped his fingers,” you did snap your fingers, “and they are all in! I can’t believe it,” you were breathing hard, fighting your tears and your anger. Sonny stood, grabbed your shoulders and brought you to his chest. He held you tight as you cried in his chest. He could feel your body shaking. You stood there for a long moment until you calmed down. Sonny let you go and grabbed you a tissue. You dried your eyes and blown your nose. “I’m sorry, you must be tired of me. I’m a fucking mess,”

Sonny was leaning on his desk, arms crossed and legs spread. “Nah, you’re not, Y/N. You’re my best friend and you’re there for me as much,” he softly grabbed your hand and rubbed your knuckles, “Now tell what you’re really mad about,”

“Him. He comes back and tries to act as if—nothing happened. Like we were nothing. Ever,” you took a deep breath, “it just hurts me all over again,”

“Now that he’s here, maybe you should ask for the explanations you’ve been waiting for? You need closure, honey. You deserve it. And yeah, it may not be what you want to hear but at least, you’ll know and you can finally move on,”

“With you when I turn 40?” You tried to joke.

“Or that guy from last year,” he grinned.

“Shut up, Carisi,” Sonny pulled on your arm to bring you to him. As he was leaning on the desk, you were the same height. You put your arms around his shoulders, and his hands were in your back. “What would I do without you?” You whispered in his ear.

“You’d be stuck in a relationship with a weirdo, and probably pregnant by now,” you laughed at his words.

“That would terrible. I’d be so frustrated,”

“Uh, I’d help you with that,”

“Dominick Carisi Jr, isn’t that a sin? May I remind you, you refused to seal our deal,”

“Because if it went bad, I didn’t want you to ask Fin to be your backup,”

“Wouldn’t have worked anyway, he found Phoebe,”

Really, what would you do without Sonny Carisi in your life?

*****

His words didn’t leave your brain. “You need closure, you deserve it”. And maybe he’s right. You do deserve closure, even if he tells you everything you don’t want to hear. So when the trial was over, and Barba invited everyone for a drink, you joined in. You sat between Sonny and Kat, Rafael was across from you. You could feel his gaze every now and then but you tried to avoid meeting his eyes.

“Cheers,” Rafael said, holding his scotch.

“To what? Jury deliberated for 6 hours to find Davis guilty on murder 2 and we’re back to the start,” Sonny answered.

“To irony, then,” Rafael offered instead.

Everyone got interested in Rafael’s past three years. He explained that he traveled for a while, catch up with foreign family in Cuba. He mentioned meeting a woman there but when you heard the word “girlfriend”, you stood up and went to order another glass.

“Y/N!” You heard from your left. You turned to see the man that stalked you the year prior. “Good to see you,” before you could react, Kyle was hugged you. “Been a while,” he smiled.

Not enough. You thought. “Indeed,” you gently returned the smile.

“May I offer you a drink?”

“Thanks, but I’m with my friends,” you pointed towards the squad. Sonny saw the man from behind and he saw in your eyes you were in trouble. But instead of helping you, he was just—laughing. Bastard.

“Maybe later then? Or another day?”

“Kyle. Last year, I threated you to put you in jail for harassment. That threat still stands if you start again,” you looked at him, seriously.

“Actually, I want to apologize about that. I was in a very bad place and I don’t know why I acted the way I did. Can we put that in the past and start all over again?”

Listening to his excuses, you didn’t see Rafael circling around. It’s only when you smell his intoxicating smell, that you knew he was behind you. You sighed and tried to stay focus on Kyle. “Okay look, if you’re still here when my friends leave, maybe—“ you were stopped by Rafael’s arm, as he slided it around your chest.

“Leave her alone, man. You’re not up to her standards,”

“Y/N, who is that” Kyle asked.

You were so confused about what was happening - and a little tipsy - you didn’t react. “The man that has way more chance to take her home than you’ll never have,”

“Well, man, you’re too late. I already took her home,”

You felt Rafael’s fist clenching. “Kyle—I’ll see around okay?”

“I’m not sure I want to leave you with that guy, Y/N,” he answered.

“But you are,” Rafael growled. “Now and forever,”

Rafael made you spin around so you were facing him instead of that Kyle. He instantly grabbed your face in his hands and kissed you right under Kyle’s nose. He was acting like an asshole but there’s no way you could pull him away. You melted into his kiss, granting access to his tongue. You grabbed onto his shirt, pulling him as close as you could. You felt his hands traveling your back, until you were grabbing your ass. For a moment, you forgot you two were in the middle of Forlini’s. You moaned in his month and he felt his cock twitching.

You pulled away only when Amanda made herself heard as she was leaving. “Get a room, people.”

Rafael smiled. “I agree with her. Come home with me?”

“Where’s home for you?” You asked. A kiss can’t make everything go away.

“Home is you, Y/N. You’re my home,” he looked so damn sincere and it would be so easy to just let it go and hang on to those words. But you still need explanations. Apologizes, perhaps?

Again, you fought against your tears. “That’s so easy, Rafael,”

“Come with me and we can talk. Just that if you want,”

*****

During the ride, you told Rafael you preferred to go to your place; Mania was waiting. If Barba should have a pet, he thought he would adopt a dog. But since you have a cat, he can get use to it. Only if you cut its claws.

As always, Mania was waiting behind the door when you got in. He didn’t move at first, just studying Rafael. “He’s already judging me,” Rafael said.

“He only met two humans. Me and Sonny. Before that, he was beaten, famished and threw with the trash. He doesn’t trust humans,”

“That’s something we can bound on,” Rafael kept his distance with your furry child. And Mania did the same. You pet him a moment, gave him his food and joined Rafael on the couch, with a bottle of Sauternes. It was silent at first. None knew where to start.

“Is—is there something between you and Carisi?” He asked.

“Straight to the point,” you smiled in your glass. You liked the hint of jealousy in it. “For now, no. But in 4 years, maybe,”

“I’m gonna need further explanations,”

“I’m the one that needs explanations, don’t you think?” You challenged him. “Actually, I deserve them,” you’ll have to think Sonny later for that strength.

“Indeed, you do,” Rafael agreed. “It was easier that way,”

“Easier for who? For you? Cause it wasn’t easy for me, at all,”

“I was selfish and I’m sorry,” he softly grabbed your hand. “I knew that—if I came to see you, to tell you I was leaving, I would have back down. I couldn’t bring myself to tell you goodbye. All I ever wanted to see in your eyes, when you look at me, was love. And I was afraid to see—disappointment in them. Pity, hate, even. Cause there was hate whenever I looked in the mirror,” you heard tears in his voice. You knew he was just being honest with you.

“You ruined our relationship—or whatever we had— on assumptions, Rafael. I didn’t hate you before you left. I wasn’t disappointed. Only things you’d have seen were empathy and love,”

“I couldn’t take the risk, Y/N,”

“Let’s pretend I get that. Why didn’t you call, then? Text? Left a letter or a note? Hell, even an email would have made it easier,” you stood up, pacing around. Rafael has been around you enough to know that’s what you do when you’re angry and trying to calm yourself.

“I could have. I should have—I’m so sorry,” he was looking at you with pleading eyes but you were still pacing around your living room. “I never forgot about you, Y/N. I still love you,”

“Uh-huh,” you shook your head, “You can’t tell me you still love me when you never said you loved me in the first place!” You exclaimed.

“Fine,” he stood up and grabbed your shoulders to keep you still. “I love you, Y/N. Wanna know when I knew?” He paused, for what you assumed what a dramatic effect like he does in court, “When Yelina came in my office, telling my ‘crazy coworker’ slapped her. And you didn’t slap her because you were jealous. You did so because she hurt me and talked shit about me for going after Alex. When she left, I smiled so hard, I found the courage to ask you out,”

You felt your cheeks turning pink. “I didn’t know you knew,” you looked down but Rafael grabbed your chin and made you lift your head.

“From that moment, I knew you had my back. I didn’t have yours,” you saw a tear finally escaping his eye. “And if you found the strength to forgive me, I’ll always have your back. I won’t let you down. I promise,”

Seeing Rafael cried made you cry too. You swoop his tears with your thumb. “It won’t be easy, Rafael. It’s going to take time for me to—trust you again. To trust that you won’t leave again,”

“I won’t,” he grabbed your face and kissed. It was needy. Rafael wanted you to feel how much he loves you in that kiss. He wanted you to know you could trust him. Not only your tongue mixed but your tears did too. “I promise. I love you,” he rested his forehead against yours.

“I love you, too,” you kissed again, but it was more passionate. One of his arms were wrapped around your shoulders and his other hand was holding your cheek. Your left hand rested on his firm ass and your right one was in his hair.

He smiled against your mouth when he felt your hand grabbing his ass cheek. “That’s my move,”

“What can I say? I missed your ass,”

He chuckled and made you jump in his arms. Your legs wrapped around his waist and his hands were resting on your ass. “Not as much as I missed yours,” Rafael kissed you again and walked to the bedroom, closing it to Mania’s face.

[s-serendipit-y]

sfw alphabet: shuichi saihara

dedicated to first place raffle winner @ihrtshuichi

gif not mine // this is unedited so if you see any small errors pls ignore it :)

-

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

shuichi can be pretty affectionate after getting comfortable in your relationship. at first, he’d be really shy and you would probably have to initiate all the affection at first. shuichi would like holding your hand and kissing your cheek.

 B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

as we see in the game, shuichi is a great friend. after gaining confidence himself, he’s be super reliable not just in class trials but whenever. in my opinion the friendship will start easily, he either trusted you like he did kaede or you were there for him after she died.

 C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

shuichi would love to cuddle with you, but he’d be pretty shy to ask for them so you would just have to be pretty observant and notice when he wants them. he’d also probably prefer to be the little spoon but wouldn’t mind holding you if that’s what you desire.

 D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

he would like to settle down, you both living together sounds really nice to him. you’re his safe space. when it comes to cooking and cleaning, he probably wouldn’t be the best but he will always offer to do them.

 E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

to have shuichi break up with you, you must have done something very unforgivable. like being the mastermind, a traitor, or something just a worse. he would talk to you about it, if he had thoughts about ending the relationship he would try to end it as quick as possible.

 F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

after dating for a long time he would think about proposing, he knew you were the only one for him and would love to be your husband. now all he has to do is work up the confidence to get down on one knee (unless you beat him to it) but he’s not in a rush to get married, he already has you. :)

 G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

extremely gentle. shuichi is extremely observant of other’s actions and emotions. so if your feeling down he would notice immediately and would think of any possible way to make you feel better. physically, he would never do anything to hurt you intentionally.

 H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

shuichi loves hugs! it’s probably his favorite form of affection. having one of your hugs always calms him down and brings him so much peace. when you two hug, he would always close his eyes and bury his head in your neck, (if you’re tall enough ofc) with his arms wrapped around your torso.

 I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

not that fast, he would know quickly that he loved you but he wasn’t sure if you felt the same yet so he would keep it to himself. but after a couple pep talks from his friends he’ll tell you after a romantic date.

 J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

shuichi wouldn’t get jealous often, he trusts you a lot. but when he does, he’ll go quiet and just observe, he doesn’t want to intervene, that could be so embarrassing, he’ll keep a close eye just in case he sees you’re uncomfortable then he’ll step in.

 K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

soft kisses, your we’re probably his first kiss so he’d be pretty inexperienced at first. even when he does get the hand of it though, his kiss would be very soft. his favorite place to kiss you would be your temple or you lips. his favorite place to be kissed would be his cheek.

 L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

i think shuichi would be pretty awkward around kids but his observation skill would definitely make up for it.

 M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

shuichi is a detective so he’s bust constantly, but on rare occasions that you two are together in the morning. shuichi would try to make your favorite breakfast and bring it to you in bed. but he might end up being too loud and would wait you up in the process. if you cooked for him however, he would be very flustered.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

like i said above he’s pretty busy, so by the time he comes home you’d might be asleep. but if you stay up and wait for him, he’d scold you telling you to not neglect your sleeping. but he really does appreciate you staying up for him.

 O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

shuichi probably already revealed lots about himself after you two became close friends. he would get in a relationship with you if he didn’t already trust you. but he would tell you more about his family after getting together and maybe vague details about cars he’s working all

 P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

we saw how he was with kokichi, shuichi can be very patient if you’re not intentionally pushing his buttons. it will take a lot for him to actually be angry at you. when he his though, he’ll just ignore you for a while till he’s over it or until you apologize.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing or do they kind of forget everything?)

shuichi remembers a lot of things, so he would remember basically everything you tell him. it could be the smallest detail but he won’t forget it.

 R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

training with you, you would tag along with him, kaito and maki and you were very encouraging. more than kaito was even though it was his idea.

 S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

would be protective but not in the way you think, he would always ask if your okay or if you need help with anything. if you’re out late at night he would tell you to be safe and when you get to your destination to call or text him your alright. he knows how bad the world is, especially at night and he would never forgive himself if something happened to you.

 T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

lots of effort!! his goal on dates is to impress you, if you don’t like a date he would think he failed and would do whatever to make it up to you.

 U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

his confidence, we all know this. he has little confidence in himself that it could affect your relationship. he might think he’s not good enough for you or that he’s not putting his all in the relationship (even though he is!)

 V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

not that much, but he hopes that his partner find him attractive. if they didn’t it would be a real blow to his confidence.

 W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

yes. you helped him with a lot so if something happened to you, whether it be you dying or you two breaking up. he would constantly think about how he could’ve prevented it.

 X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

when it’s your birthday, shuichi observant skills will come in handy especially if you don’t tell him what you want as a gift. he would pay close attention to things that catch your eye so he can buy/make it for you

 Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

a liar, he wants to have trust in you! if your a constant liar, doubts about things you say would cloud his mind.

someone overly jealous, he has lots of friends but he doesn’t have romantic feelings for them. he doesn’t want to date someone who will question that always.

 Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

when he’s not busy with work, he would try to get as much sleep as he can. sometimes it’s hard for him to sleep without you so anytime you two aren’t together his mind would drift to you until he falls asleep.

[popquizhot-shot]

Chapter 5- Lamentis 1

Prologue:https://ilovemarvelanne1.tumblr.com/post/657924038358908928/youre-not-him-loki-x-femreader-prologue

Chapter1:https://ilovemarvelanne1.tumblr.com/post/657924201329672192/youre-not-him-chapter-1

Chapter2:https://ilovemarvelanne1.tumblr.com/post/657925667989667840/youre-not-him-chapter-2

Chapter3:https://ilovemarvelanne1.tumblr.com/post/657926281710665728/youre-not-him-chapter-3

Chapter4:https://ilovemarvelanne1.tumblr.com/post/657927155478659072/youre-not-him-chapter-4

You and Loki just make it through the Time door and you're.....back at the TVA

"Wait, why are we back here?" Loki asks, confused.

"Loki, she knows where the Time keepers are!" you say and begin running toward the door.

"Wait!" Loki calls out.

"What?" you walk back and ask.

Taking his daggers out of the locker, he looks at you and says, " Be careful, I don't want you to get hurt."

Face softening, you smile and say, " Don't worry about me, I took on a Mad Titan, I can be careful."

Loki's eyebrows go up at the mention of this 'Mad Titan' but he doesn't say anything.

"Come on, let's go!" you say and run out, him closely following you.

~~

Readying your knives you slowly walk across the corridor, alert and ready to fight. Loki is doing the same except you have your hood on nd no one can see your face. As you keep walking you come across two bodies of some minute-men she killed.

Walking faster, both of you get there just in time.

Flipping your knives, you wait, but the ass can't help himself.

" A few questions" He asks, making you roll your eyes.

" Have you got nothing better to do?" she asks.

" I agree with her." you say making her smirk.

Ignoring what you just said, Loki makes his way behind her, "Rude, are you sure you're a Loki?" he asks, pointing his dagger at her.

"You're in my way" she says

"You are my way!" Loki quips back.

At this point, you're leaning against the wall, playing with a knife as you watch the scene unfold.

Finally The Variant unsheathes her Katana and ready to fight, she swings it at Loki, but he dodges it and is pushed back almost colliding with you.

"I thought we could work together, but I see you lack vision."

Groaning, she ignores him, walking toward the elevators.

Taking the chance you slip up behind her and using the moment, you kick the back of her knees, causing her to double over in pain.

Loki comes and twists her hand behind her, making her grunt in pain.

"Either, you'll come willingly or not, either way, I get to the time-keepers."

" Oh god. Shut up!" she says and wriggles out his grip, kicking him in the stomach before coming over to you.

Slashing her katana over your head, you duck and kick her in the stomach, causing her to be launched backwards, she extends her arms and manages to cut your cheek whilst being thrown backwards.

Loki gets up and making his way toward her, in a low and gravelly voice, he threatens," Don't ever touch her again." before she pushes him over, the three of you are now fighting, the sound of metal clanging, grunts of pain and the occasional sarcastic quip.

It's when you have a chokehold on her and she's pressing her katana into Loki  that Ravonna comes in.

"Come any closer and I'll kill him." she threatens.

" Oh hehe, no darling, you hurt him and I'll kill you," you reply, which for some reason makes Loki's heart flutter.

"Go for it." Ravonna says  before making her way towards you.

Just in time, Loki takes The Variant's TemPad and transports all of you somewhere else.

~~

You wake up to see Loki and The Variant fighting like cats and dogs over the TemPad.

" Okay, where the fuck are we?" you ask. You're in a tent somewhere.

" Y/n! Thank goodness, you're alright." Loki says in relief.

Taking your hood off, you look at both of them, just in time to see The Variant's breath hitch.

"Wow, she's beautiful" ,you hear her thoughts.

" Better block your minds both of you, I can hear loud thoughts, thank you, you're really pretty too." you say.

Immediately the barriers come up,, making you smirk

" Thanks." she says her voice friendlier.

Suddenly, a rock is blasted through the roof, making your eyebrows furrow in confusion.

" Where did you send us?" you and The Variant say.

Walking out, you immediately recognize the place, purple, rocky and of course, the planet crashing into it

Lamentis 1

"Oh shit! This is Lamentis 1!" you shout.

"Wait what?" Loki asks.

"You idiot!" The Variant shouts, " We're in Lamentis 1!"

"I don't know what that means!" Loki answers, distressed.

" The moon, that planet is about to crash into and destroy!" you reply.

"Out of all the apocalypses, saved on that TemPad, this is the worst!" she says.

Dodging a few meteorites, the three of you run.

" No one makes it off here!" she shouts.

"Watch out!" you say pulling Loki away just in time.

" Sorry Madam, I didn't have time to scan the brochure!" he shouts back, the three of you taking cover under a rover

" By the way, I thought you wanted me dead!" he said.

" I don't know where you hid that TemPad, but if you blow up, it blows up and then I blow up-There!" she shouted, pointing to a mining shack.

" So we're a team now ?" Loki  says running out.

"Oh god no!"

Suddenly, the both of them get surrounded with golden wisps of magic and you find yourselves inside the shack.

"What did you do?!" The Variant shouts in your face.

" Calm down, I teleported the three of us, into the shack, you're welcome." you reply face straight and voice monotone.

"Oh, Thanks." she says awkwardly before touching your forehead, green magic fizzling out.

You can hear Loki shout at her, but you smirk and say, " Darling take your hands of my forehead, It won't work."

"Why?" she asks, her and Loki looking at you in surprise,

" My mind is too strong, it's been taken over a few times, so I know how to block it. I'm Y/n by the way." you reply.

"Huh, cool." she says before making her way to Loki,

"No way, are you going to try enchanting me!" he says,

"Fine!" she says, unsheathing her katana.

Conjuring twin daggers Loki says, " Look are we really about to do this here? Again?" he asks

" Well, what do you propose instead?" she says

" Oh, I don't know a truce? Listen neither of us is getting of this rock if we can't get that TemPad on!" he replies

"Where do you have it hidden?" she shouts

"In my heart!"

"Well then, I'll cut it out!"

"Nice. very droll, lovely."

You had had enough of their petty bickering.

"All right! Both of you SHUT UP!" you shout gaining their attention.]

" I want to get of of this god-forsaken place as much as you do ok? But none of us are getting out of this place if the two of you keep screaming at each other like little children! SO GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER SO WE CAN HAVE SOME CHANCE OF LEAVING THIS PLACE!" you shout at the end.

The two of them have crossed their arms and look like they're sulking.

" I don't know how to charge a TemPad, I never used one, but I do know, that you need a large power source, and the only way to do that is by getting out of this abandoned mining shack. I've been here before, and there's a town up ahead, if we leave now, we might be able to find a source large enough."

The Variant uncrosses her arms and says, " Alright, a truce."

" A truce." Loki agrees.

" Great, now that you finished making up, we can leave, you say and walk out, the two of them following you.

"I like here." the girl says to Loki.

" I like her too." he agrees looking at you.

~~

" So what's the plan?" Loki asks the Variant, falling behind both of you.

"What Y/n said, there's a town near here, and can you shut up, just because I have to work with you, doesn't mean I want to hear your voice." she shouts back to him.

"Alright, well slow down!"

"What part of imminent death confuses you? and don't call me Variant." she tell him.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not calling some faded photocopy of me Loki." he says

"Good, cause that's not who I am now, I'm Sylvie now."

"Sylvie? Nice name"

" Thank you! I like yours too!" she says smiling.

" Oh good, you changed your name! Brilliant!"

" It's called an alias." she says.

"Not very Loki-like" Loki comments.

" Oh really. what makes a Loki a loki?" you ask

" Independence, Authority, Style." Loki lists out.

" So you naturally went to work for the boring oppressive time-police?" Sylvie pipes in.

" I don't work for them, I'm a consultant."

"Oh, are you now?" you ask smirking.

" Yes." Loki says looking at you.

" You don't know what you want." Sylvie says

" Oh yeah, what about you?" Loki quips back, " Your years-in-the-making plan was to tear the place down, create the ultimate power vaccuum and then walk away? I'd never have done that!" he says, standing back.

" Yeah? Well I'm not you." she replies.

"I like you." you tell Sylvie.

" I like you too." she replies, half-smiling.

Loki looks on, his face a mix of jealousy and disbelief. but who is he jealous of? You or Sylvie?

" Can we get on with this now?" Sylvie says walking away leaving Loki and you alone.

Smiling at him. you reach your hand out to him, "Come on Lokes, let's go, Neither of us are dying today."

His lips quirk up and he takes your hand and both of you walk toward Sylvie, hand-in-hand.

~~

"Brute force is no substitute for diplomacy and guile." Loki tells Sylvie.

" Noted" Sylvie says before kicking the door open, only to be blasted by an energy blast.

Groaning, she turns to face the cabin,

"It's remarkable you ever made it as far as you did." Loki taunts.

"Are you ok?" you mouth to Sylvie.

Nodding she turns her attention to the lady.

" Sorry about that!" Loki says

"Don't be, I enjoyed it."  the lady says, still inside the trailer.

" Oh.." he chuckles, " I did too. But I can assure you, despite my acquaintance behaving like an animal, uh we mean you no harm, we're simply weary travellers." he says making you facepalm.

" Sure you are." She replies.

Snooping inside, Loki spies a picture of the lady and her husband, he then casts an illusion to make him look like the husband, before going to the front.

" Hello dear." He says.

" Patrice?" the lady says, face in shock.

Nodding his head and sobbing, he says, " It.. it's been a long time. You're as beautiful as--"

He too get's thrown backwards and this time you audibly groan,

" Ma'am. I'm really sorry what's been happening to you today, but all we want to know is where everybody is, we just want to get out of this place." you say.

" The ark." she replies.

" Um.. what?" you ask, confused.

" The evacuation vessel" she explains.

"Ok, how do we get there?" you ask

" Train station's at the end of town, but you'll never get tickets." she says.

" Okay, thank you very much Ma'am, we'll leave now, and you'll never see us again." you replay and walk over to your partners who look shocked.

"And that's how you do it. Come on, we need to get the train station."

~~

When you reach the train station, you see a huge crown of people waiting in line to board the train.

" How are we going to get in there?" Loki asks

" I can be invisible, so I'm covered." you say

" Is there anything you can't do?" Loki asks, amused.

Apparently I can't move on-

" I suck at mathematics" you shrug and tell him.

Biting his lip and laughing, he shakes head.

" Well, Sylvie we can't fight our way onto that train, we're going to do this my way." saying so, he cast an illusion, now he's wearing the turtleneck uniform, and shit why does he look so good?

" Ok, Y/n? Y/n where are you?" he says suddenly panicking.

" I'm right behind you doofus." you say, now invisible

" How do I look?" he asks Sylvie.

" Like someone with a shit plan." Sylvie says, making you laugh.

" Come on, my legs are hurting!" you say.

" It's a great plan." Loki argues.

"Hmmm." Sylvie hums.

" Just follow my lead." he says, taking her arms and leading her inside.

Why the hell am I feeling jealous? They're basically the same person!

~~( I'm skipping that part, where they get on the train, I hope you don't mind."

"I can't sit, backward on a train." Loki says.

"Well, I never sit my back to a door." Sylvie says

" What there are doors on both sides." he exclaims.

" God! Choose where you want to sit, I'm sitting here." you say, sliding into the empty seat.

Loki immediately sits next to you.

Seeing Sylvie yawn, he says, " Oh, you a bit tired? Feel free to you know, take some rest."

" I can't sleep in a place like this." she answers.

" You can't sleep in a train?" Loki asks.

" I can't sleep around untrustworthy people." she says.

" Oh right, that's us?" Loki whispers.

" Just you." she answers smiling at you.

Scoffing, Loki narrows his eyes at you.

Narrowing your eyes back, you make him laugh.

"But, you feel free to take a nap." she says.

" Nice try."

" I'm not going to waste my time rooting around for the TemPad, when someone taught you fairly decent magic."

" My mother."

You gulp when he mentions Frigga, she reminded you of your own mother, who was shot to death, along with your family.

Sylvie looks around slowly before asking, " What was she like?"

Smiling, Loki says," She was a queen of Asgard, she was good, purely decent."

" Are you sure, she was your mother?"

"Uh, no she's not actually, I was adopted, is that a bit of a spoiler for you? Sorry about that." He says.

"No, I knew I was adopted." she replies.

" What? They told you?"

"Yes. did they not tell you?"

"No!" he says, shocked.

" Hang on a second, tell me about your mother."

" I barely remember her, just blips of a dream at this point." she says, voice low.

" You know, when I was younger, she'd  do these bits of magic for me, like turn a flower into a frog or cast fireworks over the water. It all seemed impossible, but she told me that I'd be able to do it too, because I could do anything." He says smiling at the memory.

" I knew Frigga." you say.

Loki turns to look at you, " You-what?"

" I knew Frigga, she was.. she was amazing, accepting and took me in as her own, even though I had been in Asgard for a few days."

" You've been to Asgard?" Loki asks, Sylvie listening.

" Yes, um Mobius didn't tell you the full story. The first time you went to Asgard, Odin made you come back and stay the at the tower a punishment for around a year, I came a few days before you, and the second time you went and were put in the dungeon, I came along. We were actually really good friends." friends my ass.

"Wow, We were friends?" Loki asked.

"Good friends." mmm very good friends

" So what kind of magic did she teach you?" Sylvie asks.

" You wanna see?" Loki says suddenly excited.

He opens his hand, palm up, and fireworks of different colours apper and burst, you remember this, it's what Loki would do to cheer you up.

" Not bad." Sylvie comments.

Closing his hand, the fireworks disappear.

" So, where'd you learn to do the...you knew the thing that you do?"

" I taught myself." Sylvie replies.

" You taught yourself that magic?" you ask

" Yes, I did." she replies.

" What-you just go into their minds and project some sort of illusion?"

" It'd be easier if I just-" she leans forward as if wanting to touch his forehead.

Enchant me, and take the TemPad and leap out of the train, not thank you." he says making you giggle.

" Well then, don't ask! " she asks.

A woman comes up and offers champagne, Loki takes two and gives you one.

" Thank you." you say

" Your welcome." he says leaning in.

" No, thank you." Sylvie says,

"I'll take hers." he says taking the third champagne flute.

" Cheers, to the end of the world." he says and you both drink.

" A pity the old woman chose die, don't you think?"

" She was in love." you say.

" She hated him." he answers.

" Maybe love is hate." Sylvie adds.

Making a face, Loki conjures a paper and a quill, " What was that? Love is hate..." he writes down.

" Oh piss off!" you and Sylvie say at the same time, before looking at each other and chuckling.

Disappearing the paper, he says, " So on the subject of love, is there a lucky beau waiting for you at the end of this crusade?" he asks.

" Yes there is, actually." she replies.

" Oh!" you say.

" Yes, I managed to maintain a long-distance relationship with a postman whilst running across time from one apocalypse to another." she says jokingly

" With charm like that, who could resist you?" Loki says.

" Well, many people are willing in the face of certain doom." she laughs." It was only ever just to keep me going. How about you? You're a prince, must've been would-be-princesses, or perhaps another prince."

Ha ha! Sweetie, darling, if only you knew, I WAS HIS FIANCE!

" A bit of both, I suspect the same as you, but almost always, it was nothing ever...." he says.

" Real."  Sylvie finishes.

" Love is mischief, then." she says.

Looking up, he says, " No, love is..something I need to have another drink about."

" You do realize, that we're about to hijack the power source to a civilization's only hope?"

Shit. You didn't realize that.

" I do." you and Loki say at the same time.

" It's not going to be easy. We should rest." she says

" All right, you relax your way, I'll relax mine." he says

" Fair enough." you add, conjuring up your MP3 and putting the buds in your ears.

~~

"Men trærne danser og fossene stanserNår hun synger, hun synger kom hjemMen trærne danser og fossene stanser,When she sings, she sings come home!When she sings, she sings come home!"

You and Sylvie wake up to loud singing, looking to your left, you see Loki singing and dancing, clearly drunk.

" Hey!" Sylvie  waves.

Waving back, he continues singing and then shushes everyone.

"I stormsvarte fjell

Jeg vandrer alene

Over isbreer tar jeg meg frem

I eplehagen står møyen den vene

Og synger

Når kommer du hjem?"

You remember this, a song you heard Thor and him sing, and you loved it.

The song picks up and Loki starts clapping and dancing, making you smile.

" To Sylvie everybody!" he cheers.

Finishing his drink, he throws the glass down, shouting, " ANOTHER!".  

Just like how Thor would do it, every time he finished a drink he liked.

As soon as he finishes, Sylvie and you, walk over and pull him to the side.

" You're drunk." you say

"No, I'm just full, but bear  in mind I'm very full. Now, I need you to try this, it pairs very nicely with the Figgy Port, who's got the Figgy Port? You have to take my word on the Figgy port.-"

" Where's your uniform? We're meant to be laying low."

" Nobody cares, it's the end of the world!" he says

" I think something's happening." you say.

" Yes, uh that planet" he says pointing up, " is about to crash into us."

" Don't be an ass, I saw some people looking at you weirdly." Sylvie says.

" Huh?" he says dropping the dish, " When did you get so paranoid?"

" It must have started when I spent my entire life running from the omniscient fascists you and Y/n work for."

" It's a shame to let that go to waste." Loki says , looking down at the food he dropped.

" Hey, change of subject, I thought of an answer to your question! Love is a dagger." He says his dagger appearing," It's a weapon, to be wielded far away or up close, you can see yourself in it, it's beautiful, until it makes you bleed, but ultimately when you reach for it," he continues, turning the dagger so the handle faced Sylvie, who tries to hold it, but it disappears.

"It isn't real." she finishes.

" Yeah." he says looking at her.

" So love's an imaginary dagger?" you ask

" Doesn't make sense does it?" he enquires.

" Nope, terrible metaphor." Sylvie says.

" Damn I thought I had something." he replies

Suddenly a door opens and a few guards walk in.

" That's him." an old man points at Loki.

" Sir, may I see your tickets?" the guards asks.

" Tickets! Yes of course!" he raises his hand, only for fireworks to blast out of them making you groan.

The guards take hold of Loki and Sylvie, not coming to you because they didn't see you.

Taking a glass bottle, you smash it over the head of the guard holding Sylvie, causing him to faint.

Loki kicks the knee of the guard holding him and pushes him away, elbowing the other in the head.

As everyone runs out, two more guards come in and start fighting.

With a blast of magic, you blast a guard out the window and Loki does the same, green and gold mixing together.

One of the guards start choking Sylvie and hold her against a wall.

Taking a dagger, Loki aims carefully, throws the dagger and ....misses, almost hitting Sylvie,

" What kind of a throw is that?" you said.

Sighing he turns to see another guard trying to fight him, " Oh will you stop it?" he says, kicking him out the window, " Bye!" he waves.

Sylvie manages to get out of the guard's grip and knock him out.

Suddenly two guards grab Loki and throw him out the window.

You and Sylvie look at each other, nod and she jumps out.

The guards them turn to you.

" Boys, you don't have to worry about me." you blast them with a burst of gold before jumping out.

~~

" So, the TemPad's gone?" you asked.

" Yes, all because of this hedonistic jerk-ass clown!" Sylvie shouts, starting to breath faster.

" Woah, Sylvie breathe, go to the side and take a breath, let all of it out."

Nodding she goes to the side, where she then screams so loudly, her magic blasts some rocks nearby. She then goes and sits down on a rock.

You and Loki look at each other before going to sit beside her, one on either side.

" Did the uh, scream make you feel better?" Loki asks.

"It did, you should try it sometime." she says sarcastically.

You can't help but recall at how Loki screamed when Frigga died.

" What now?" you ask

" I don't know, he broke the TemPad." she says

" Well-" Loki begins

" -and that planet is about to crash into us." she continues.

" Well yes but,-"

" But what?" she urges

" But the entire moon is destroyed, right?" he asks

" Yeah, and everyone on it is killed." she says

" Including us." he says.

" Including us." she finishes.

" Wait, what about the ark?" you ask.

" The ark is destroyed before it takes off." she answers

" Never had us on it." you say.

Scoffing, she says, " So what? We hijack the ark and make sure it gets off this moon?"

" Sounds like a good plan." Loki says

"Okay." Sylvie says getting up, leaving you and Loki looking at each other.

"I did not think that would work." you say.

" Well it did." he says getting up and walking after her.

~~

" Okay fine, you want to know how enchantment works." Sylvie says, " I have to make physical contact and grab hold of their mind."

" How?" Loki asks.

" It depends on the mind, most are easy and I can overtake instantly, others the stronger ones, it get's tricky, I'm in control, but they're there too. In order to preserve the connection, I have to create a fantasy from their memories, that young soldier from the TVA, her mind was messed up, everything clouded, I had to pull a memory from hundred's of years prior, before she even fought for them." Sylvie explains

" Wait, what?" you ask, " What'd you just say? Before she joined the TVA?"

" Yeah, she was just a regular person on Earth." Sylvie says.

" But, Mobius said that, everyone who works for the TVA were created by the timekeepers." Loki said.

" That's ridiculous, they're all variants, just like us, I don't know about Y/n though." Sylvie says.

" They don't know that!" you say,

'All ticketed passengers-"

" That's our ride." Sylvie says, all of you running towards the town.

__

" Do we trust each other?" Sylvie asks.

" Yes, and you can." Loki answers.

" Y/n?"

" Yes." you answer.

" Good, cause this is gonna suck." she says

The crowd is then filled with people who are trying to get on board.

" They're gonna let all these people die?" Loki says in horror.

" We're gonna have to get on there and make sure it takes off!" Sylvie says.

" How?" Loki asks.

" We go around!" she says, and you and Loki run towards her.

He holds her back and runs with her, and you feel it again.

NOT THE TIME TO BE FEELING JEALOUS

Taking a deep breath, you teleport to where they are, not wanting to lose them in the crowd.

The moment you reach them,  meteorite crashes into a building, making all of you fly backwards.

" Y/n?! Are you alright?" Loki asks.

" I'm fine." you say shortly, " Where's Sylvie?"

" Here." he says pulling her up and running inside a bar.

You run after them, to see a man pulling Sylvie's cloak off her and about to kick her back, when you grab him by his neck and pull him backwards, kneeing his back, making him fall and shout in pain.

Running out of the bar, all of you find a place behind a garbage dump, to take a breather, before running again.

You're almost there, when you see a building about to fall on all of you.

" I've got it!" Loki says, using his magic to make the building go back to where it was.

" Come on! We can still make it!" you say and run with Sylvie, Loki following.

You've just reached, when a meteorite crashes through the ark, destroying it.

All hope lost,  you turn back and walk out, Sylvie following.

Shit.

[redroomwidows]

Wildest Dreams | F.W

SUMMARY: They’re in a war, everyone’s life is on the line and Fred doesn’t want Y/n to forget him.

WORD COUNT: 1.6k

WARNINGS: fluff, but then angst. canon character death...not described, but there’s some grief. 

A/N: This is my second piece for @gcdric​’s Taylor Swift writing challenge! This fic doesn’t follow the song as much as Mr. Perfectly Fine did, it’s very much a looser interpretation of it. I hope you enjoy nonetheless! 

fun fact! I’ve never actually written for Fred before, so this may be really ooc. I’m apologiding in advance lol but hopefully it’s not too ooc!

Fred Weasley x fem! reader

‘Say you'll remember me’

It was quiet. 

Silent even. Usually, this would worry Y/n, but today, today it was calming and was a reminder that neither her nor Fred were in imminent danger. Their shared bedroom had rays of sunlight beaming through the curtains and Y/n almost blamed herself for not shutting them properly when she first woke up because of the light on her eyes. Almost. Because when she rolled over, she realised the sunlight let her see Fred’s sleeping face and let her admire the bronze and gold mixed amidst the ginger of his hair.

“Mornin’ love,” he croaks and Y/n smiles slightly, of course he wasn’t actually asleep

“Morning,” Fred slowly opens his eyes and raises an eyebrow slightly

“Were you watching me?”

“Maybe,” 

“Weirdo,” he tries to stay serious, but a wide smile breaks through and he scoots closer to his fiancé, snuggling into her shoulder “What were you thinking about?”

“Hm, nothing,”

“So, you were just staring at me?” Fred knew when she was thinking, he always had.

“Fine,” Y/n sighs “I was thinking about how pretty you are,”

“Pretty?” Fred raises his head from her shoulder and looks her in the eyes “You mean handsome,”

“Nope,” she pops the p “pretty,” then kisses his nose, something she knew he hated.

“No, handsome,” he insists

“Pretty,” Y/n sings and Fred raises his hands up in a tickling motion

“Say I’m handsome,”

“Pretty,” she repeats and starts laughing even before Fred’s touched her, and when he does and starts moving his finger around, she laughs louder, kicking about “Stop!”

“Say I’m handsome!”

“Freddie!”

“Say it!” he keeps tickling her and when she starts to struggle to breathe, she shouts out: 

“Fine! Fine! Handsome! I was thinking you were handsome!” he stops and Y/n lays still for a moment, breathing deeply and Fred watches, his elbow squashed into the bed as he holds his head in his hand. 

Eventually, Y/n regains her breath and leans in to whisper in Fred’s ear “Pretty,”. He doesn’t tickle her this time, just smiles fondly as she giggles to herself, staring up at the ceiling. He’d let her have this one, in fact if he himself wasn’t so stubborn, he’d let her win every time. He liked her like this, calm and happy, unable to keep a smile off her face. He wanted to see her like this forever.

“Let’s run away,” 

“What?” Y/n turns to Fred, eyes still glassy from his ‘attack’

“Let’s run away,” he repeats, but he can tell Y/n is still confused “leave here and find a cottage in the woods or something,”

“Fred… are you being serious?”

“Yes!” Fred smiles and excitement floods his voice “Bill and Fleur did it, why can't we?”

“We’re not Bill and Fleur,” Y/n says in disbelief, not sure if Fred was joking or not “they have a baby on the way, your future niece or nephew,”

“Yours to,” Fred gestures to the ring on her left finger proudly. He’d proposed their first year out of Hogwarts, Molly had said it was too soon but when Death Eater attacks became more frequent, she was happy to see her son so happy. She also knew Fred wouldn’t listen to her anyway. He loved Y/n L/n and he would marry her anywhere, anytime. But soon preferably. He adored the idea of being able to say ‘my wife’ and he wanted to call her Mrs Weasley and come up with a whole new branch of nicknames for her based on her new status. But he had to wait, he could do that.

“Our future niece or nephew,” she corrects, “and you and George have the shop,”

“It’s not even open at the moment,” Fred mutters quietly, knowing Y/n was right, but still wanting to believe for a minute more that they could leave “Please?”

“You know we can’t go…” Y/n takes a deep breath as the somewhat jokey conversation becomes serious “we’re gonna be needed…” she looks left and out the window, holding a hand over her stomach.

“I know,” Fred smiles, putting his hand over Y/n’s “Can’t blame me for being in love with ya,”

“Guess I can’t,” Y/n smiles with him as she remembers the last time he said that to her.

It was their last year at Hogwarts and George and Fred had finally grown tired of Umbridge. They haven’t fully told Y/n the plan, but she knew they weren’t coming back. Fred had minutes to say goodbye before him and George had to set the plan into the motion, and he was grabbing Y/n’s hands so tightly she thought the circulation might never come back.

“Come with us,” he whispers and she looks down, smiling lightly

“You know I can’t,”

“Why not?”

“My parents would kill me,” she laughs and presses a kiss to his lips, whispering into them “You would kill me,”

“I would,” he nods “What are you thinking, throwing away your future for a boy?”

“A ginger one nonetheless!” Y/n gasps, playing along

“Oi!” George shouts from behind a door and Y/n laughs as Fred shouts out to him

“Stop eavesdropping you prat!” shuffling is heard and Y/n gazes at Fred again, trying to memorise his face before he leaves.

“Promise you’ll write?”

“Of course. You can hear everything about mine and Georgie’s experiments and how I came up with all of the ideas” Y/n would laugh, but all she can manage is an amused brow raise

“And you’ll be here for graduation?” 

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he nods “Promise,” There’s a knock on the door, a signal Fred needed to go.

“I love you,” Y/n says quickly

“I love you too,” They share one more kiss and Fred whispers into her lips “Come with me?”

“Fred!”

“Can’t blame me for being in love with ya!” with that, he gives her hands a final squeeze before leaving, giving her a wink as he shuts the door. 

“Y/n…” Fred waves a hand over her eyes “you there?”

“Hm?” she turns back to him

“You alright?”

“Yeah,” she rolls onto her right side so she can look at him properly “You?” Fred seems to be thinking about his answer and Y/n puts her left hand over his shoulder, rubbing soft circles on the soft cotton of his t-shirt “Freddie?”

“We’re gonna be needed,” he repeats her earlier statement slowly “And when we are, something may happen to me...If I don’t make it -”

“Fred!” Y/n’s eyes widen, completely not expecting such a sombre topic to come up on a Wednesday morning, especially after such a somewhat cheery morning “Can we please not, not now?”

“I need to say it Y/n, I need to get it off my chest, I’ve been thinking about it for days,” he had been acting differently, he’d been quieter at dinner and seemed to want to cling to her and George more, talking about going to the Burrow when it was safe to. So maybe that’s why she gave in, or maybe it was the soft ‘please’ he muttered afterwards that he paired with pleading eyes.  She could never deny him, not when he looked like that, so sad.

“Okay,”

“If I don’t survive…” he keeps pausing and Y/n supposes that if she was talking about the same thing, she would do the same “I want you to remember me, I want you to remember us -”

“Of course, I’m going to remember you!” Y/n couldn’t believe he’d think she’d ever forget him.

“I know! I just need you to promise. Promise you’ll remember me and us. Promise me you’ll remember when we used to wake up at god knows when just to watch the sunrise and when the sun used to set in summer and we’d just lay out by the lake. Because you always talked about how it calmed you. I want you to remember how you used to write crap poetry and dramatically read to me and I could never really tell if you were joking or not, so I didn’t laugh and you always thought I was annoyed with you,”

Y/n feels a bit hot in the face at the mention of that, she was just a tad bit embarrassed. 

“Promise me you’ll remember the sunrises, the sunsets, the parties and the snogging but also promise me you’ll remember this, lazy mornings in bed, cooking together and cuddling. And promise me you’ll see me again, even if it’s in a Quidditch portrait at school or photos around the flat, or memories or dreams. Promise me you’ll remember me?”

“I promise,” she whispers, kissing him slowly “But don’t worry about it too much. Neither of us have to worry, because you’re not dying. Not on my watch,”. Fred smiles and in seconds, the subject seemed to be forgotten as he bops his fiancé’s nose and starts a conversation about what their brunch should be.

Y/n remembered that conversation now as she stood in a graveyard, staring down at what would have been her future husband's tombstone where she’d recently placed some flowers, right next to George’s. 

She remembered the sunrises,

“Freddie...I’m too tired for this…”

“Promise me, it’ll all be worth it love,”

and the sunsets, 

“Are you okay?”

“No... but just, watch this with me,”

 the parties,

“You have had far too much to drink,”

“Y/n! I missed you!”

“I just went to the loo,”

“Yeah, but I love you!”

 the snogging,

“Fred...we cannot be doing this here,”

“Shhhh, tell me you don’t get a little bit of satisfaction from doing this in Snape’s classroom,”

 and the lazy mornings in bed, cooking together and cuddling. 

“I love you,”

“Are you talking to me or the pancakes I just brought you?”

 “Y/n, it’s on fire!”

“What?!”

“Joking…”

“You twat!”

 “We should get up…”

“No! Stay here, just a bit longer,”

 She remembered everything. She would never forget and while she may only ever be able to be with Fred in her dreams, she still loved him more than anything. She’d be with him someday, when it was her time to go. 

 ‘Say you'll see me again

Even if it's just in your wildest dreams’

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