#you should be able to put 2 and 2 together abt how this works even if you've never met a trans person holy fuck

[dkettchen]

[staraxiaa]

porcelain, the afterword:

author's corner/first thoughts.

first and foremost: upon rereading, a scene in this fic holds a lot of similarities to one from dust, diamonds on ao3 by maokitty. (the jealousy scene w the husband where the wall crumbles) especially with the dialogue. i was definitely taking inspiration from that fic while writing the scene, and wanted to make a note of it here. go read it even if ur not into aot pls bc it’s actually life-changing !! i beat my sunflower record btw this was 25k ish words written in less than 20 total writing hours. spread over 1.5 days total. also i think i fucked up the pacing a lot from what id originally planed buuut at least its over. dobby is finally free!!! anyways. the original intent for this fic was a discussion on body imagery, to anyone who has ever struggled with the unrealistic standards of social media and/or felt lesser than themselves because they were not beautiful in a 'typical' manner. but then it ballooned into a monster of its own bc i was like how can i make this hurt. i took my inspiration from porcelain + kintsugi vases... like how can i break this reader before i put her back together. i think that i'd like to touch upon similar topics again one day. as a natural extension of my style and the way i write that 'fits' the childhood theme of this collection, i don't believe i handled these topics the best i could've: a lot of them are simplified to a point that, looking back, makes me go 'eugh' a bit because there's so much depth there that i had to like, tamp down upon as a result of my own inexperience. parts of it were likely believable, and parts of it likely weren't - whether because of my youth, or because i was afraid of approaching these topics from the 'wrong' angle. either way, i hope to be able to grow as a writer to the point that i can tackle these themes again to a point where i myself can be sufficiently pleased with the depth i've put into it. that is all. if you've read up to here, thank you. i'm not really expecting this one to do nearly as well as sunflowers - the content is heavier, it's not nearly as light, and shouto is just less of a popular character overall. but this is very likely my magnum opus so far in terms of how much thought has been put into the work, so it means a lot to me even if you do not interact, and simply read up til this point. thank you. your support truly means a lot. will also update again as i think of things

unwritten scenes, headcanons, thought process

another angst scene. at the todoroki forgiveness dinner table, katsuki and izuku are probably there. i havent watched this scene i just know it exists. (was gonna go find it just for research). enji hits shouto with the 'you can marry whoever you'd like' thing majig. shouto's like, cool i didnt give a shit anyways i was gonna marry her. with or without your permission. and THEN i hit you with the akshually... she's engaged... to be honest, a lot more scenes where it was just mother and daughter. i really wanted the point to hit home that, the mother is always intending to do good in the only ways she knows how - it's not discussed thoroughly, and she's obviously a negative influence when it matters most, which is why reader cuts her off at the end. i am a firm believer that not all parenting is good parenting, even when it comes from a good place, and to me it's like when you hurt someone - it doesn't matter your intention, because that should always come secondary to the fact that you hurt them in some way. sorry. i'm not sure if cutting completely out of the life like that was necessary, but i think that in real life, sometimes it is. something to think abt / regret abt this piece ig lots more on the brother. he was not seen a lot, and i cba to include more about him cuz tbh he's only really relevant for like... 2 scenes but basically the tl;dr is that. he also feels the same pressure. it's just offscreen. (he's a man, he's his father's heir, but he sees the impact this family has upon you). i honestly think he's pookie and hold him dear to my heart but he was really just there to get the plot moving... so.... sorry guys. i didnt even bother to give him a name. BUT hes definitely a very complex character i just didnt write it..... i just needed to add a little happiness to the dysfunctional family ok the husband. okay. so. i originally wrote him in with the intention of being someone to hate, entirely and utterly, with the whole of my heart. but i absolutely hate writing in characters that don't have at least some depth/some complexity, so here goes: he was definitely in love, i think, though i'm not sure i would call it that. there was a grooming aspect to it, an age gap difference (he attended all your recitals/performances when you were underage, had his eye on you), was twice your age. i think i wrote it in a way where it could definitely be interpreted as a form of love, as twisted and fucked up as it was⏤ in the way you think of ownership, that a pretty woman is nothing more than a flower to give the sun to, to water when you'd like. but you're not. you're more than that, you need more than food and water and a roof over your head, more than pretty jewels. you just couldn't love him, and i think that's the part that fucked with him the most. the husband was always supposed to die. i toyed with different versions of this⏤ if you should be the one to kill him, a final 'hurrah' when you finally find your courage. but i thought this wasn't very in line with the reader characterization, so i didn't include this. it's ok though u guys are always #1 bosses in my heart. i hope its clear though that the reader didnt love him at any point bc i dont like him enough as a character to give him that. sorry. he was also supposed to be a mafia man... did i make that clear... but both him and the father were like. i hate these characters. the father especially (he has 0 characterization he's only plot relevant bc he has to be). wipe them both from ur minds pls xx in terms of the baby: i actually know nothing about motherhood. this is only what i've done from the best of my imagination. if it isn't accurate at all i apologize.

i did not know tumblr had a max characters per block. i yap a lot huh. anyways on to cute shouto moments <3 i really considered the idea of like. sex scenes. nothing graphic, but tl;dr with shouto when you cry, he stops immediately. this would be near the end, when you're learning to live again, but it's like, you're so moved because no one has ever done it like this for you before, and he's just worried that he's done something wrong, and it's sad but it's like. you don't know if you can ever handle touch again, but bc you're married, you think it's your duty, and you also love him, so you want to try. you guys love each other so much i could sob. i didnt add this just bc i didnt think this was the fic i wanted to start nsfw with, and bc i dont think i could do the intimacy i wanted justice. also tbh i debated on including more thoughts of shouto during the relationship with the husband but i think, while the mc would definitely think of him, she would try her best to be a good wife. i think this is textbook of abusive relationships (i tried to portray that in the way that the husband speaks and turns the fault onto mc when he hits her) where naturally, they abuse you despite you already doing the best you can, and make you feel lesser for it. i.e. she hasn't thought about shouto the whole while, hasn't done anything, doesn't intend on it, and he still blames her for the way she feels. DID I EMPHASIZE THAT HE PICKS UP EVERY CALL EVEN THO U DONT TEXT HIM ANYMORE JUST IN CASE bc shouto todoroki the man that you are... the man i wrote you as... im never marrying idgaf i write my own standards too high i also jus wanna say guys... the way u pull him out of his shell... and then its his turn to pull him out of urs.... i am a SUCKER for stories that come full circle watch me write it into mermaid au anyways im so excited!!!!! in another world, shouto is the one to catch you. somehow he's in your penthouse apartment. the man's holding a knife to your throat (??) or it's your husband trying to save his own skin. in some variations you walk off the edge yourself, in some variations your husband pushes you, in some variations it's the man. i thought this fit better. either way in all of them he was supposed to dive off the fucking building after u but i also thought: he can't be there himself but he makes sure ur taken care of anyways. sort of fitting the characterization i had for him, i think. i rlly considered a kiss scene too but it'd be sort of natural. like stepping into someone's warmth and feeling entirely comfortable in it, knowing it's what you want and knowing it's also what he wants. at the end. but i didn't add it. wouldve been sweet but unnecessary bc i think this would be further down the line and would require a separate scene. once again i scoot free of my kiss-writing responsibilities ! ! ! more on this, though, i think i really like writing about how simple intimacy can be. i do not believe you need to be physically affectionate with someone to love them, though you certainly can be, and i hope this was reflected in the way i portrayed both shouto and reader. in my dreams we are shouto's sugar babies and just vibe for the rest of our lives. and that is all. the smallest things the reader does make him so happy like. slowly. you guys are already holding hands, so a kiss on the cheek would make him the happiest man on earth. oh here's a bonus scene: at some point he takes you out to see the fireworks. the two of you are sitting, you're tucked snugly into his side, you're watching the fireworks, but when you turn, he's watching you. it's so stupidly romantic. you probably ask him what he's looking at and hes just like 'you'. you flush a little. he kisses the top of your head, grinning like the little shit he is.

i also think it'd take a length of time to get married, so you guys probably do kiss sometime before then. no clue about the scene. but canonically (aka in my head) you guys are just having a normal conversation. like Normal Normal. nothing fancy. and all of a sudden you just lean in and kiss him on the corner of his lips. he touches it, and you can see the shock on his face. dunno if you lie and say 'something there i was just getting it for you' bc im a sucker for that but he only leans a little closer and asks you to do it again. i'd like to think man is patient even tho he desperately wants to (like to the point it's painful to watch) so you have to tell him straight up it's okay to do anything, when you're ready: i.e. initiate kisses and anything else later down the line. once he gets the green light though there's no stopping (he will immediately if u ever tell him) like in my head this man has been basically touch starved all his life and he YEARNS. everyone say thank you to the anon who prompted these scenes btw notes on reader: i think what i wanted to explore with this piece was the way that your parents, the environment you grow up in, the role models you have can shape how you grow a lot. but that does not mean you need to stay that way forever. and that even if you do, you are not necessarily 'weak' or any lesser. reader never actually stood up for herself until the very end, but she was strong in her own way. she tried her best to be a good wife, even when she practically hated her husband. she persevered, she tried her best to love her child. things were bleak, but she pulled through; she kept on living, she kept on breathing. and that was enough. she was enough! <33 i also don't know if this reader was a very believable one. a lot of what i explored here was an extension of some of my own experiences, but like. i simply have not experienced a lot of it personally, unlike with my other pieces, and not at all to the same depth. i hope that there are people out there that can resonate with her and her experiences, but like not in a fucked up way. i simply hope that this story can make someone out there feel seen/heard, even if it's just a little. also putting this here to say, i tried to write reader in a way where it made her thoughts read off as like. ingrained into her? but that the way she thinks is not supposed to be normalized. please love yourselves. just wanted to make that clear djsklsfjd

[snackleggg]

I feel like a big part of Allura's character being done dirty and feeling inconsistent comes from the writers just not really being able to write female characters very well.

What do I mean?

Well, Voltron's cast has always been primarily male (which makes sense since the og show was from the 80s) but vld gives us quite a few "strong female characters". The problem comes when you notice most of those characters are minor like Krolia or Acxa or Veronica. This means the characters can be depicted as strong and badass with any more indepth characters moments being conveniently off screen (like Krolia & Keith's time on the space whale, Veronica's time worrying over Lance's disappearance & trying to protect earth, Acxa's redemption)

But there are still female characters within the main cast and the contrast between how they are written really gives an insight to the struggle the vld writers had. The contrast between how Pidge and Allura are written is alarming.

Pidge, even after her reveal, is still written in an androgynous masc-leaning way. The characters don't even refer to her with any pronouns for seasons after her "reveal", its only in the last few seasons that the writers seemingly remember Pidge is supposed to use she/her pronouns. This is probably a byproduct of the fact that the archetype Pidge fills (the smart guy) is commonly a masc one.

Meanwhile, Allura's characterisation is butchered because as the designated "main female character" the writers just threw every single character trope at her, probably trying to make her feel "deep" and multifaceted but just made her feel inconsistent, busy, and butchered instead.

She's "the leader" initially when the paladins are first starting out but Shiro fills that role quickly so she is put in a more "support" role. She seems to be some type of "chosen one" considering her ability to connect w/ the balmera, negate haggars magic, and her natural talent w/ alchemy (the explanation seems to be that it's because of her lineage, as Alfor was the best alchemist of his time, but we never seem/know enough about Alfor or his own abilities to get a tangible grasp of what Allura's capabilities are. It's just whatever is convenient to the plot like bringing Lance back to life). She falls into the "damsel in distress" trope at the end of season 1. She's made the center of a very disingenuous and forced feeling love triangle. They try to give her a racism arc??? But fail spectacularly bc they never have like a proper heartfelt conversation about her bias, where it comes from, her recognising the damaging affects it has (the conversation she has with Keith abt it at the end of season 2 feels very "You're one of the good ones" coded which is very icky) and then the writers seemingly forget it ever happened (also it lasts like 3 episodes and consists mainly of her just glaring vaguely in Keith's direction instead of any actual confrontation/conflict between them)

Her character is all over the place. One second she is being put in "traditional" female character tropes (which she as a princess trained in combat, diplomacy, and running an entire society of people, should not be put in/have trouble with) like the damsel in distress and the love triangle. The next, she is depicted as unstoppable and a fix-all maggufin like with her alchemy & connection to quintessence. Then they also try to have her work through personal issues/flaws (which I think is what her racism arc was supposed to be???) But they never go into detail & explore said personal issues (which btw were never really alluded to before hand, kind of came out of nowhere)

TLDR: Allura's character was butchered because the writers thought mashing together a bunch of random character tropes without any deeper thought/development = interesting characterisation when really it just made her inconsistent and confusing.

[wrongcaitlyn]

hi tawny!!! loved the magnus chase chapter 🫶🏻 alex and magnus r so cute. I love magnus’s backstory/how you adapted it!!

ok so today is my bday and I was hoping you might be able to share a snippet from the upcoming tgol chapter🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 no pressure tho!!!!

HI OMGSDFKJDSF FIRST OF ALL HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! I HOPE THAT ITS STILL YOUR BIRTHDAY IM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG FOR ME TO GET TO THISJSDF!!!

i HAVE written a bit of the next chapter but unfortunately, it is solely tweets, and the tweets are all without users at the moment bc i always add the users at the end. SO. im gonna post a good majority of those tweets here as your excerpt and update it when i eventually add the users and let you know!!! and as a special treat if you'd like to choose one of these to be under your user, LET ME KNOW AND I'LL ADD IT :)))

hope you have had an absolutely wonderful day!!!

guys i dont think u realize how crazy this is for apollo to be working with another artist. like we all accepted nico was an exception bc like he’s will’s bsf and stuff but apollo apparently REACHED OUT to sadie. and they’ve been working together on an album. under apollo’s own label.

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genuinely hope that sadie becomes crazy popular like nico and that delphi records gets bigger than ****’s

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honestly i def think it’d happen. karma at its finest

so as an angel what’s the sadie lore anything we should know?? bc she’s abt to become my third fav artist

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who are the first two?? sadie’s AMAZING

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nico and alex fierro duh

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so your music taste is nico di angelo and his openers

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yes exactly

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Sadie currently has an EP out (Worst of You) that you should definitely check out, it was produced by her and her brother as an indie artist! As for background, she’s from London and her parents are pretty big in the archaeology world. She started putting out covers on YT when she was 13, and eventually started [1/2]

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writing her own songs. She uploaded a lot of unreleased songs to YT (they’ve since been deleted but they’re also on SoundCloud), and put out her debut EP at 18 and recently got signed to Apollo’s Delphi Records (technically second official artist signed, if we’re including Nico) [2/2]

still processing graveyard bc what does he MEAN by directly referencing how apollo “took his money and dignity and got the hell out” and thinks “i understand it now” and “i think you got it right.” nico please don’t disappear on us.

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i blame munich

i ship

[ two images attached: The first is a selfie of Nico di Angelo, Apollo, and Sadie Kane taken by Sadie. The second is the same photo, zoomed in on Sadie and Nico. ]

THE MYSTERY OF NICO’S SKULL RING: A THREAD

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Sep 27, 2015: the skull ring is first seen, albeit blurry, in jason grace’s vlog around his school, in which nico is sitting in their school cafeteria. it’s on his right ring finger, as it always has been (that we know of, logically he may have worn it on his middle or index finger when younger) 

[ two images attached ]

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May 21, 2016: it’s once again seen in nico’s first appearance on apollo’s insta, before we even knew his name. during this time, nico had been working on ‘haunted’ with apollo, and was already known as his insta user “the ghost king,” which ties into the skull/ghost/death theme

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[ one image attached ] 

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June 18, 2016: the skull ring is on the back cover of ‘haunted’s vinyl and its tracklist. it’s pretty much the centerpiece of the image, with his hand mostly covering his face.

[ two images attached ]

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There are several more appearances of the skull ring, he practically never takes it off. It’s seen in his pictures at the AMA’s, VMA’s, Grammys, and pretty much every other public appearance of his from 2016 - 2018. 

[ four images attached ]

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During the haunted acoustic shows (July 2017), he’s seen wearing the rings in all of the shows. 

[ four images attached ]

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Even the design of the doomsday world tour poster is based on the skull design in his ring, as well as several other merch pieces.

[ four images attached ]

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August 26, 2018: nico is wearing the ring in the official pictures from the first night of the doomsday world tour (and from various fans’ pictures)

[ three images attached ]

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But on the second night of the doomsday world tour, nico is seen without a skull ring. 

[ four images attached ]

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Since then, he hasn’t been seen wearing the ring ONCE. Several other rings take the place on the right ring finger, but the skull ring’s pretty identifiable - and the ones he’s worn since are noticeably different. so, that leaves the question: what happened to it? why did nico stop wearing it? 

[ four images attached ]

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more pictures of the other rings he’s worn since

[ four images attached ]

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ummm maybe. hear me out. just a possibility. his ring size grew? being a living growing teenager at the time

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okay but it is interesting how it happened right after the first night of tour. and its not like a normal piece of jewelry, right? the skull ring is one of the first things we even knew about him, its basically like a logo. dating all the way back to apollo’s first post signifying haunted? it must have meant something to him if he wore it for at least three years (1/2)

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even at award shows and red carpets and all that fancy stuff. putting the exact same skull design on tour merch, etc… it’s just strange that it disappeared all of a sudden, despite nico still going on with the death/skull aesthetic in graveyard. if he just lost it or it broke/stopped fitting, wouldn’t he try and get another?

this fandom belongs in an insane asylum 

[daftpatience]

Hi! Would you mind talking a little about how you made your pants? I'm in the same boat of not being able to find tripp pants in my size. I LOVE what you did and definitely want to try making a pair myself but I don't really know where to start

YES i can talk lots about it!! in fact i can draw some about it as well!

i'll put it all under a cut since it's gonna be a Long Post! and heres the pants we are talking abt btw

so i started with 2 pairs of skinny jeans. generally skinny jeans in plus sizes are easier to find because they think we are scared of looking any bigger (and since they're out of style lately you'll likely be able to thrift them very easily, but really any cut of full length jeans will work). the first pair (jeans 1) should fit how you want at the top, but it wasn't as important if the legs or the second pair (jeans 2) fit because we'll be chopping those up.

i cut them into segments as shown, though you could do more or fewer:

then i cut each leg 'ring' that i've made open and laid them all out flat. i also took the pockets off of jeans 2, and set aside the rest for scraps. you'll have something like this:

essentially what i'm going to do is attach 2 legs together to increase the circumference - the reason i cut strips is so i can mix and match colours to make it more interesting and look more intentional! i swapped them around like this:

then i sewed the strips back into 4 leg pieces. keep in mind for this whole project i am sewing with exposed seams to minimize bulk/be comfortable on the inside/look more grungy, so not a lot of this is gonna be turning stuff inside out and i'm actually being a little bit messy with my lines on purpose. i did 2 passes of zigzag stitch right next to each other over every seam for stretch and strength. also, unless you have 2 of the exact same pairs of pants they're probably not gonna perfectly match at the edges, this is okay because we'll be trimming the rough edges next - the top of the leg should match 1/2 the circumference of the legholes of jeans 1 (and if you want to make that circumference bigger you can use a scrap to add a triangle shaped dart to the outside seams of the jeans):

it may feel weird to be removing width when we want them wide, but don't forget we've essentially doubled the width of the entire leg here. i wanted a very straight leg that matched my thigh circumference all the way down, so i pretty much just cut a straight line, but if you have enough material to make it flare out at the bottom and you want to do that, definitely go for it! you could even reattach the leg upside down if the 2 ankles combined happen to be enough to match your thigh, but i liked keeping the original bottom hem on mine so i kept it right side up.

from there i sewed the legs up and attached them back to jeans 1. i did mine so that the checkered seam was in the front but you could rotate them a bit to just have it stripey in the front if you wanted. then I applique'd the extra pockets on. this would probably have been easier to do before sewing the legs fully into a tube, but i wanted to make sure they were placed exactly how i wanted so i had to complete the jeans first to see.

i also sewed 4 tiny loops on the front and backs of the shin area using the belt loops from jeans 2 so i could clip on some lil chains. theres so much more you can do tho!

phew, i think that's everything i did!

if anyone makes a pair of pants with this tut i would LOVE to see!!!!!!!!!!!!

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

HI. GOOD EVENIBG. WE SHOULD TALK ABT TIDALWAVE!!!! we should talk about tidalwave. im thinking about them so hard & also pingponging btwn nebulous Them Thoughts & nhw virion (trying so hard 2 work on this damn fic!!!)...... we r in the centrifuge together. idk what it is abt sunday nights what do they put in them. anyway. holds microphone up. tidalwave..............

👉 go here. go in the centrifuge.

GOD. man. I'm like. i don't even know what to SAY about them. I'm just Thinking About Them u know?!?!?!?! like. they're in my mind. whats betta than this. guys bein dudes.

idfk I guess I will talk about nhw bc that's the context I've been thinking abt them the most in lately. god. not 2 talk abt my own fic forever and ever but smth that I'm rlly proud of/rlly hits me is like... the Moment where mark realizes the extent of what happened to him? like. he looks down at his hand and realizes he basically just stabbed himself with claws he didn't realize he had and his hand is too big and is scales and the reason he hasn't been able to stand is because he has like 10 lbs of extra tail weight and I think that all hits him like a truck and just. takes the fight out of him for a second . and that's the ONLY reason he lets tide sit him back down and bandage his hand. he doesn't Really need that, the cuts are shallow and by the time he sits down they've stopped bleeding anyway but he still sits through it bc it gives them both something solid and physical to focus on that isn't the billion other terrible things going on. I never think of tidalwave as being soft that feels too out of character for either of them but like. this is the closest they get to that. to me. Just like a second of quiet where . they're not talking about things they should be talking about but there's some sort of physicality nonetheless.... man.

also bc i love 2 talk about the unethical human experimentation. I love love love love giving tide the entire range of reactions to overlords shit. he gets to see Marie who seems to have basically lost all of her humanity and behaves more like an animal. to Marlon who is unresponsive and shut off and needs to be in basically a glorified fish bowl to function. to Ollie who is completely there mentally and very willing to cooperate and seems to be dealing with everything okay... but he can't communicate because of freak bug mouth. and i think he absorbs all of this information and internalizes it and when he looks at mark he can't help but wonder where he falls on that range . Mark doesn't seem like he's lashing out like a scared animal backed into a corner (at least. no more than usual) but the physical changes are There and Obvious and sometimes when he gets worked up his voice sounds like an alligator hissing (these videos are extremely good btw) so it's like.... what else changed. tide doesn't even KNOW about his vision yet. (<< authors note here like. I do think marks mannerisms will be different. not in huge ways. but the sensitivity to cold affects him wayyy more than he lets on. makes it harder to do things. which is not great for a guy who needs to be doing things constantly or else he'll explode! which makes him irritated by things more easily. I feel like he will have more of a tendency to snap at things whereas before he'd be content to just fume about them in silence. like when u see a snake call coiled up with its head back and u know it could either strike really fast or it's just trying to threaten you. or how like alligators seem like they should be really slow but then they can death roll and lunge and snap their heads around really fast. sorry i need 2 make that man animalistic or ill die)

canon tidalwave i need 2 know desperately how they got tides powers back. i know the most likely thing is that like. the depowering was just a mental block tide had to get over . but in my heart they went on a roadtrip. bizly please. i know you said tidalwave would never get married but that's okay they dont have to. they're already divorced. give me the road trip.

[incubum]

hi i love ur jesse pinkman fics you write him so well!! was wondering if you could write something abt him going down on (or 69ing) a transmasc reader after a smoke session together? ty!!

i have been working on this request for months i promise i haven't been ignoring it. BUT HERE IT IS!

"paralyzer"

no d/s undertones, transmasc reader, basically what's in the ask :)

summary: he couldn't quite see what you were doing, but the image of how you two looked right now clouded his brain; it was like an aerial view, the two of you covered in a thin sheen of sweat, his dick halfway down your throat and his face buried in your core. his face was soaked, all the way from his nose to his chin, and he didn't mind it at all.

part 1 part 2

word count: 3k+

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42659277

days off work are the best days. days where jesse can wake up next to you and spend all day in bed if he wanted to. off days came few and far between; especially since gus put mike up to babysitting him nearly every single day. it was even rarer for him to be off on the same days that you were off.

he had begged you to quit your job and let him take care of you. you had all kinds of excuses, all of which he was far-too-willing to take care of for himself. things like 'i have bills and rent, jesse' and 'i still technically don't live with you' and 'supporting a whole other human being is a lot more expensive than you think'. he didn't care. he had more money than he would ever be able to spend in his lifetime. he wouldn't pressure you, though.

what jesse would, do, though, was sit behind you in your spot near the edge of the bed, arms wrapped around your waist and chin resting on your shoulder as you played some video game he wasn't entirely invested in. he thrived for moments like this, and any ounce of intimacy he could get his hands on. normally he would be playing with you, but your skin was too warm and inviting for him to bother. he briefly contemplated falling asleep.

jesse's hand traveled up your stomach, and over the flattened surface of your chest as he placed a few quick kisses on the skin between your shoulder and your ear. he stopped his movements to tug lightly on the scratchy fabric of your binder. it had gotten incredibly hot and uncharacteristically humid in the ABQ that day and you both rid yourselves of your t-shirts hours ago.

"off." he muttered, nuzzling his nose into the crook of your neck, "we've been in bed basically all day. you can take it off."

you groaned softly, only slightly fucking up at whatever you were doing in-game. he gave you a small window of opportunity to respond, and when you didn't, he continued.

"i can get you a shirt if you just wanna be covered up. you're gonna hurt yourself." jesse's eyes were closed as he pressed his face against your skin and his fingers found their way to the clips on the side of your binder, tracing them mindlessly. the fabric was getting stretched and the clasps were worn out; he made a mental note that it was about time for him to buy you a new one.

this time, you paused the game, and placed the controller next to you on the bed.

"fine, but can you pack us a bowl too?" you mumbled, and rested the side of your head against the side of his.

"mm." jesse rotated his head so his face was closer to your neck than your shoulder and left a few more kisses there for good measure before he pulled back a little bit. "you need help?"

you shook your head, so he made his way off the bed and walked over to your almost-matching dressers to dig out the lightest, flimsiest t-shirt he could find between the two of them. when he found a sufficiently non-suffocating one he tossed it across the room to you, who had just began work on tugging off your binder.

jesse then turned his attention towards the grinder and bong sitting on the nightstand on his side of the bed. the water was black and rank so he contemplated replacing it for a few moments (and then decided that, yes, he should). he wandered into the bathroom and rinsed it out in the sink and filled it up with nice, clean water, deciding he would buy one of those baby bottle brushes at the dollar store later to get all the resin off the sides where he couldn't reach.

on the walk back he thought about how hyper-aware he was being about everything that was happening; he hadn't thought this much about any of his actions in a long time. he was pretty sure he hadn't replaced the water in this bong since he bought it. he was taking better care of himself simply because you were around and that was kind of a weird feeling for him.

and, as he unscrewed the grinder and packed the bowl with the finely ground, high-grade weed that was inside, he thought about how this was the first time he and another guy successfully made it past fucking once or twice. he had tried it with a couple friends from highschool when he was just starting to figure things out and it just never worked so he quit trying. he was glad he started trying again.

by the time jesse crawled into the bed next to you, your binder was off and you were laid against the pillows, t-shirt laying next to you as you soaked up the cool air of the fan on your side of the bed and tried to let the sweat dry on your skin before you put it on.

"hey."

he was all smiles. he didn't try to hide that he was ogling at you anymore; he thought you needed to know that you were worth ogling over.

"you're makin' me self conscious."

you turned your face away from him as he handed you the bong and grabbed the lighter off of his nightstand.

"i can't help it, i like tits...especially boy tits." jesse giggled at himself. he sounded stupid but it was true.

he laid on his side with his hand supporting his head, and when you scooted up to sit on your butt, he beckoned you into a kiss before he would hand you the clipper lighter in his other palm.

his favorite thing was watching you smoke up. there was something so attractive about it; he loved the way your mouth looked when you blew the smoke out. he also really loved the way you looked with a perfectly rolled joint between your lips. maybe he was a bad influence, because smoking together took up at least 50% of your relationship bonding time.

you took one of the biggest hits he's ever seen you take and managed to not cough when you did it. it basically took everything in him not to moan when you passed the bong and lighter his way.

"fuck, you're hot when you outsmoke me." jesse smiled and looked at you through his eyelashes as he took his designated hit, the water bubbling and gurgling in the bottom of the glass piece, and passed it back to you courteously.

he didn't know how many times the bong had made the trip back and forth before he started looking at you a little too hard. you had never bothered to put your shirt back on and jesse was enamored by the expanse of your skin in front of him combined with the way his head buzzed and his body warmed up. he was pretty sure you were finishing up the second bowl and passing it to him to refill when his hand began to creep up your thigh and underneath the leg of your shorts.

jesse sat up slowly, using his free hand to take the bong and place it back on his bedside table with his other palm still resting against your thigh. afterwards, he leaned in close to kiss you. it was sloppy, and open-mouthed, and he relished in the way your hand met the base of his neck and trailed up the side of his head as the kiss went on. when he moaned into your mouth, you broke away for air.

"hmm, i miss your hair." you looked up at him fondly, rubbing the slightly-grown-out stubble on his head.

"what, you don't like it when i'm bald?" jesse spoke through a fake-pout.

"no, i like it..." you pondered your words for a moment, "i just miss pullin' on it when my dick's in your mouth."

he snickered, more of an exhale through his nose, a smile on his face, and a shaking of his shoulders than anything, as he pulled you into another kiss and began tugging at your shorts, in a silent request for permission to pull them off of you. you very quickly lifted your hips to help him out without an ounce of complaint.

your skin was still sticky with sweat against his palms, and they roamed your body aimlessly like they were lost in the unforgiving new mexican desert. his hands had always been hungry and greedy; he was, admittedly, very touch starved...for basically his whole life. skin-to-skin contact with you was electrifying even if it wasn't in a situation like this. whether it was his hand beneath the waistband of your pants in the dark, or on the small of your back when walking past you, at the end of the day, he just liked touching you.

you were bare-naked in front of him already, and he liked that it didn't take very long anymore. you two had this unspeakable comfort with each other. some days your gender dysphoria was worse than others, and he understood that completely. even jesse had his days where he felt like clawing his way out of his skin and he imagined it felt like that. on those days he still tried to coax you out of a binder just so you wouldn't hurt yourself or overheat, but he still gave you options to cover yourself up if you needed to. he hoped that it didn't go unnoticed how much your comfort meant to him, even at times where you were destroying him from behind or he was skullfucking you on the floor.

your hand met the tent in jesse's thin, stretchy pjs and he gasped like a teenage girl. these things never got less exciting for him; especially not with you. he was already kissing you again and tugging your body closer. he barely had time to speak when he pulled away, immediately eager to slot his lips back against yours.

"fuck, i wanna eat you out."

his lips were quickly back on yours as he moaned into your mouth and bucked his hips against your hand. it made you chuckle, giving him a gentle squeeze, which made him pull away, lips swollen and shiny and eyebrows furrowed. all of a sudden, he felt needy and pathetic, nails digging into the skin of your butt where his hand stopped last.

"what if i wanna suck you off, though?" you pressed, catching your lip between your teeth afterwards and taking in the angelic look on jesse's face.

"then you can— fuck." jesse's words were cut off when the palm of your hand pressed against his crotch more firmly, and he let out a low groan, deep in the back of his throat, "you can fuckin'— sit on my fuckin' face."

"aww, good boy, jesse, you used your words." his eyes were screwed shut, but there was an obvious smile in your voice.

"shut up and sit on my face, dude."

he didn't have to ask you twice. he opened his eyes, and rolled onto his back, and he felt the bed shift multiple times before your ass came into view; you were straddling his head, facing his feet, and hovering above him an inch or two. you stayed like that for a moment before the anticipation got too much to bear, and jesse wrapped his arms around either of your thighs, gently lowering you down onto his face.

he didn't blame you for relishing in the moment when his tongue met your slit, dragging along your folds experimentally as your entire body tensed up at the feeling. by the time his tongue found your bottom growth, you had leaned forward, and when you pulled his dick from his pjs he moaned in anticipation against your core, sending vibrations through your body.

he hated that he couldn't see what you were doing, breath hitching in his throat when he could feel yours against his skin but not see you getting closer. his heart pounded in his chest at the sheer desperation coursing through him, before your warm mouth finally wrapped around his throbbing tip. he stopped everything he was doing just to process the feeling; it took everything in him not to buck his hips upwards into your mouth.

"oh, shit." jesse muttered against you, and you stifled a laugh around his girth. as you slowly began to bob your head up and down, he tried to think about the task at hand; your pussy was literally hovering over his face and he needed to make work of that.

he lapped at you slowly at first, languid and experimental and trying to get the hang of the angle he was working at. it was hard to focus with your warm mouth swallowing him down. your movements were eager, and enthusiastic, like you were grateful just to have his dick in your mouth, and that made him moan against you, which caused you to do the same.

then, jesse tried to match your pace; his tongue explored your folds fervently, and when you pulled off to bury the tip of yours in the slit of his cock, he did the same to the head of your bottom growth. your hips bucked against his face, and he took that as a good sign.

he couldn't quite see what you were doing, but the image of how you two looked right now clouded his brain; it was like an aerial view, the two of you covered in a thin sheen of sweat, his dick halfway down your throat and his face buried in your core. his face was soaked, all the way from his nose to his chin, and he didn't mind it at all. what took him by surprise, though, was the feeling of your hand kneading at his ballsack, rolling them in your palm and rubbing them gently.

jesse would have been lying if he said you weren't able to make him cum faster than anyone he's ever been with before. he could already feel the knot in his stomach tightening as he moaned into your heat, stroking the underside of your bottom growth with the tip of his tongue and digging his blunt nails into the flesh of your thighs. he tried his hardest not to buck his hips up into your mouth, and when he failed, you used your free hand against his hipbone to hold him down.

"ah-- fuck!" he gasped needily into your cunt, and you knew he had to be close; jesse wasn't ever able to hold out very long during blowjobs. his thighs clenched and unclenched as he tried to keep himself together long enough for it to not be tooembarrassing, but he was struggling, and you could tell.

jesse's head was swimming and he couldn't understand how you were doing so well while he placed sloppy, open-mouthed kisses on your clit; but maybe it was because he was so distracted by you doing so well that he wasn't doing the greatest job himself. his face was red-hot between your thighs as he willed himself to last as long as possible, but it didn't last very long before he was whining into your heat and cumming doen your throat.

you giggled at him when you pulled off, and he felt you shift around above him while he collected the pieces of his brain and tried to put them back together, so he assumed you were spitting in the ashtray on the bedside table, where you usually spit when he came in your mouth like that. you lifted yourself off his face to give him a second to breathe.

"aww, baby boy, was it that good?" you teased, and he was sure you could feel his stubble tickle your inner thighs when he nodded. you rubbed his lower tummy for a moment before lowering yourself back down to his willing mouth.

"c'mon, i'm not done with you yet." you wiggled your hips a little and jesse got back to work. he always ate you out like he could suck your soul out through your pussy if he tried hard enough. if he thought you were enthusiastic just to have his dick in your mouth, he really needed to reevaluate how he felt about eating you out. it was one of his favorite hobbies. he lapped at your insides like he had received a message from god himself telling him to do so.

jesse dipped his tongue in and out of you a few times, and when he heard you mewl from your position above him, he broke out the big finisher -- he began spelling his name on your tongue, over and over, in big, broad letters.

J-E-S-S-E P-I-N-K-M-A-N.

he did it as quickly as he could, so fast and unforgiving that he knew it would have been chicken scratch if he were trying to write his name anywhere else. but that didn't matter now; all that mattered was the way you rode his face, grinding your hips down against it filthily and squeezing his thighs like they were the only thing keeping you from floating away. the best part, though, was your moans. you sounded absolutely disgustingly amazing, and jesse knew how close you were by how desperate they had gotten. this was his moment.

he reached a hand behind you and pushed two fingers into you just in time to rub them against your now-very-familiar g-spot and feel your walls flutter around them beautifully. he tongued at your dick until you patted his stomach to tell him to stop. you were both speechless, hot, faces red and sweaty as you lifted yourself up once more and you both tried to catch your breath.

when your legs stopped shaking, you removed yourself from jesse's view, only for him to feel the bed sink down next to him. he turned his head to look at you, wiping his face with the back of his palm and grinning wolfishly, satisfied with himself.

"hey."

"hey."

jesse admired your fucked-out face, snuggling into your side and kissing your cheeks sweetly.

"god, your face is sticky. are you fucking hard again?" you laughed, you could feel his boner poking you in the thigh as he bit his lip through a smile and looked at you like you hung the stars in the sky. yes, he was very glad he kept trying.

[naffeclipse]

Shit this is almost 2 pages shjavsns I def failed at summarizing this I'm so srry shjsvsjsvsbs you don't have to read it tho shsjvsnsvsbsvsbssvbsvsbs

But okay, first, for context, I guess you have seen my oc before? But here's normal Polar

They were basically in the role of the Y/N before they were killed by Vanny (wrong place wrong time) and ended up accidentally and unknowingly possesing an animatronic and losing most of their memory

So I kinda tried to adapt their story/situation to the Sleuth Jester's universe

This was back when Time to Bow was the latest chapter released I think? So I mainly thought up to that point hsjsvsjsv but basically, first, they needed to know Sun and Moon beforehand, so started looking for roles they could have worked on alongside them, trying to avoid detective bc variety is more fun, but bc of the time and a lot of positions being condensed in like only one or two still landed on that lmao, so ex-detective (yeah I did research for this don't look at me SHJSSVSKCDNSVSNSVSSJ) (also that's it, that's the doodle, their design as a human for this au, that's the only decent one I'm srry Naff shsjscsnscsjshjsbs I was thinking of doing more since you wanted to see but I'm still not sure of their design so A) But yeah, as a human, they would have been a detective, ocassionally working together with Sun and Moon, the three of them eventually becoming good friends

Here sgsjvsjssvsns the real thing I'm giving you is the info bc hsjssvsbsbsvnsvssbvs

Anyway, their inevitable death should have come from the inside, soo what I was thinking was that, again being in the wrong place at the wrong time, probs with their guard down, they happen to catch one of the corrupt cops doing smth incriminating and, having been spotted, are taken out before they can actually do smth

Nnot sure if their cause of death would have been faked or what (I guess???), but their body is found and they are pronounced dead. Sun and Moon finding out later

Now, wasn't sure how to go abt the whole possesing an animatronic body bit bc in the pizza plex it can happen a lot more easily than in this setting dvsjvdsj (and there's also their celestial design oops) but I basically thought of 3 possible scenarios: since Eclipse has parts just in case and has to get them from somewhere, was considering the possibility of an animatronic body being transported to extract them or even worse, going off of that one ask, a scenario in which he does plan on keeping y/n alive after they die and, actually finding out abt the ineffectiveness of scooping them beforehand, decides to get a body built for them. Polar's animatronic design is a celestial one, so since idk what eclipse would actually do in this scenario and I'd need to justify this anyway dvsjdvnsvd let's just say that in this case he decided to go with that to make it more likely for y/n to stay with him bc of the rarity of the parts or to match or some shit idk lol. Going with either of those would mean, however, that Polaris, by accidentaly possesing the body and escaping before it can get to Eclipse, stole smth from him (the scenario in which it was supposed to be y/n's future body making it muuuch worse and I bet personal, but in the other one they'd still have stolen a good bunch of valuable parts so dvksvdkd) and soo I bet he'd be after them.  Scenario number 3 and the most unlikely, is that maybe there just happened to be an animatronic body around there somewhere for some reason vssjsvsjsvs and a celestial one at that SHJAVSNSVSMVASNV yeahh I don't think so lol But anyway, like in the original version, they'd only remember bits and pieces from before they died, but in this case I think they might be able to put together that they at least had worked closely with the police at some point, aaand, even if they can't remember who or anything specific, that a cop tried to kill them (killed them but they don't know that vdjdvj) So, I'm guessing they'd end up going into hiding just to be safe and try to figure stuff out from there

Bc of their sense of justice and desire to help but distrust of the police, I think eventually they'd start stocking up on stolen medicine, parts & tools, and the like to be able to help (to the best of their abilities) those that need it but, for one reason or another, can't get help anywere else; after some time starting to be known by some as a safe space where one can get some medical help (and even some information and more particular supplies, but even less people would know abt that part ;) ) They probably thought abt more direct/hands on work, but decided against it to keep a low profile (specially if they actually stole from eclipse vdjdvdj)

Soo eventually they'd meet y/n through this and I imagine they'd become someone y/n might go to on ocassion

They'd probably wear smth to cover their face so their identity isn't as exposed, and here's where I got kinda stuck with the design, bc depending on the scenario it'd be how and how much it'd vary from their original one (for example, normal Polar's rays aren't retractable, so those would have to stay uncovered, but in this version they might be??? Idk) But anyway, I imagine at some point y/n might have gotten to see them without the mask or smth and, after finding out abt the rarity of parts like the celestial wire and seeing as Polar looks similar to the three celestial animatronics they know, I bet they would have gone to them before actually risking going to Eclipse, they wouldn't be able to provide them with it tho and y/n would still have to go to him (I'm... not even sure if they would know what that is vjdvdjdb it would be smart to, but idk how easy that information is to find?)

So basically, the main storyline would stay p much the same, they'd just be an added bonus lmao

I imagine y/n wouldn't mention Polar to the detectives? At least at first and not in any significant/traceable way, bc of the the way y/n works + the secrecy of it, but idk

In theory, at some point they'd find out abt eachother and eventually learn the truth abt Polar's identity, even thought they could also just not find out depending on how everything were to play out vsjdvsj idk but Polar would probably get a sense of trust and familiarity from them that contradicts the way they feel abt the police, being kinda ???? abt it

(In the scenario that the body was made for y/n, if Eclipse were to mention smth identifiable abt it, y/n could internally be like "wait, isn't that..." which could eventually lead to questions abt how they came to be if the body was in theory just that, a body)

And I'll just leave this here and scuttle under a rock ahjsvsjsvssncsnsvabs

Oh my gosh, I love them!! That's such a tragic tale but I find it very fitting for the Sleuth Jesters story!! Oh man, that would be so cool to have Polar and Y/N interacting, and even see Polar with the detectives!

This is just my two cents, but I really dig the animatronic body being meant for Y/N, commissioned by Eclipse but gets unwittingly taken by Polar!! I just find that super compelling and a story just lying in wait right there! Not to mention the lost memory!!

[dapper-nahrwhale]

Hmmm. Having a predicament and I am curious to see what I should do cuz like:

So one of my players will not be available to play in the next session of our fairy tale ttrpg game. Not a big problem, but we have had this planned for weeks as it was one of the only times all 6 people are avalible to play. Now, we could just catch them up later.

But last session I thought it was about time to reveal some big plot things to the players (ie their world is not real, they are characters in a book, the world has just been destroyed and now they have to figure out what to do next as a group, they believe everyone they know to be dead, they arent but they dont know that yet, there are wars going on abt things they dont even know abt yet). And we couldn't play the week after the big stuff, so now we can finally play.

But I dont want to leave anyone out of these big things, as I am going to be revealing even more stuff abt how the world works now and going thru some individual character story arcs with them. I could just put off doing those things till later, not that big a problem usually. But I have also been doing that since the very first session.

And also everyone is really really eager and wanting to play again, and this is not the first time someone has had to miss a game, actually we havent had all 6 players there for a session together since the first one, and that was 5 months ago. Every other time I put off revealing the big things, but now I already did, and cant really put any more filler in it for them (and last session when the world got destroyed, I had anticipated all players to be there, and 2 couldn't make it at the last minute and I went through with my plans anyways, and caught up the others later in individual sessions. And that worked out well enough, it was just alot to do, and now that things are more serious I anticipate ill be doing that for everyone who misses a session, because things are going to be moving at a much faster pace now.)

And I am also very very tired of planning out things for them, and then having half the players be there, and having to come up with new things and not being able to continue or create any bigger plot points, and now seeing as we are in the bigger plot things going on, I kinda really would like everyone to be there from now on. But also. I do not anticipate being able to get everyone there for any session, as it has been an impossible feat for the entire campaign.

I AM going to be consulting with the group to see what they would like to do as a whole, but you know. I am curious to see what other people would do tbh.

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

so like. gotta preface this by saying that i DONT ship steddyhands. but ages and ages there were a whole buncha posts (proabably more than those three) where i jokingly whined abt how all the steddyhands content i see gets stede's characterization wrong. and out of silly, petty, joking, well-meaning spite over a harmless fandom disagreement i was like "im going to write my own summary of a steddyhands fic of how it SHOULD go." but then bc i do not like izzy and i do not care about this ship i forgot about it for a long ass time. but i was clearing out my drafts and slapped a few more paragraphs onto it and now here's this fucking monster

this is by no means a completed fic. but by god is it way longer than any fucking summary should be. like it's literally 5k. this is a 5k summary of what would probably be like a 100k fic. someone kill me

———

so for starters, this would have to be THE SLOWEST of burns (and there's no way i'd put that much time and effort into a fic for a ship i don't even like, so that's why this post is all i'm gonna write). izzy has to go through so much change before stede would even think about izzy as anything more than "that asshole that ed keeps around for some reason" (and also before im comfortable with ed being vulnerable around izzy haha "i shouldve let the english kill you" conversation my detested)

izzy would have been in love with ed since they met (but he doesn't know it). he doesn't even let himself admit he's attracted to him. ed always knew that izzy was interested, but he didn't want to be wanted the way izzy wanted him (he's not gonna be izzy's daddy dom, basically). stede and the gang have stolen a new ship and have been chasing them down. meanwhile, the vibe on the Revenge has been mostly just... sad. not gratuitously violent or a living nightmare. they do raids and stuff, but everyone still surrenders at the sight of blackbeard's flag and ed is bored. he sits in his room either crying or drinking. the rest of the crew do normal boat stuff. izzy is like... aware that the energy is low. but he has no idea what to do about it so he pretends everything is fine.

so the story starts at the reunion. stede and his gang finally catch up to the Revenge while ed and his crew are getting their asses handed to them by some european navy ship, the french or spanish or something idc. stede's crew is able to turn the tide of the battle. in the middle of all the chaos, stede and izzy run into each other. stede demands to know where ed is, izzy says ed doesn't want to see him. they fight, both physically and verbally. lotta insults are thrown on both sides while they wave swords at each other. at some point they have their swords crossed and faces close, glaring and growling homoerotically at each other, but then they hear ed shout in pain. he gets shot or stabbed or something, and instantly izzy and stede are both working in sync together to save him. stede uses his new sailor muscles to carry ed while izzy clears a path to get back to the Revenge. ed, barely holding onto consciousness and delirious from blood loss, sees stede for the first time and is like, "you came back..." stede, of course, replies, "never left." ed laughs and calls him a liar. izzy is dying inside.

they get ed and everyone else back onto the Revenge, the crew reunites, lucius is alive, roach stabilizes ed's condition.

while ed is unconscious (which lasts like 2 or 3 days), it's unclear who is running the ship. izzy is ed's first mate, but stede's crew outnumbers ed's. the crew tries really hard to get stede to just throw izzy overboard, but jim (who's struck a weird friendship with izzy since the marooning where all they do is practice fighting and never talk abt their feelings ever), is like, "ed might be mad if he wakes up and we killed his first mate." and stede (even though it's clear that he also kind of wants to throw izzy overboard), is like, "ugh, i suppose jim is right... and he did help me save ed. let's wait for ed to wake up first before we make any rash decisions."

so izzy, realizing how precarious his situation is on the ship (and realizing that if ed wakes up and wants nothing to do with him, he's doomed), starts acting like a cornered rat, hissing and spitting at everyone all the time (except for jim, who keeps training with izzy in stoic silence). he's especially harsh to stede, talking abt how much ed doesn't want to see his face and insulting stede's masculinity and trying to get stede to leave before ed wakes up. stede snaps back a little bit, but mostly he just rolls his eyes and ignores him bc he's just focused on worrying abt ed. stede spends the nights sleeping in a chair next to ed. izzy tries to sneak into the cabin at night to kill stede at some point, but jim stops him and reminds him that everyone is just looking for an excuse to chuck him overboard

when ed wakes up, he and stede kiss and make up. stede initiates family therapy where the whole crew and ed air out their feelings about the marooning and have a heart to heart. touching dialogue is had. izzy is in the corner glaring and scowling and also freaking the fuck out the whole time, but he doesn't say anything. eventually the crew heads out to go. do pirate stuff idk. and then ed asks for stede and izzy to stay for a second.

he thanks izzy for saving him, then he's like, "listen izzy, we both know that this hardly the first time you've saved my life. you and i go way back. we were good mates once. do you think we could be mates again?" and izzy, through gritted teeth, watching stede out of the corner of his eye, is like. sure, boss. whatever you say. and ed is like "i want you two to get along. you're both important to me," and stede and izzy (glaring daggers at each other) are like. okay.

then ed is like "okay now just izzy alone" and stede is like "are you sure?" but eventually ed gets him to leave. and then ed gets more serious and he's like "izzy. if you kill stede. you will never see me again" and izzy is like "youre not gonna feed me more toes?"

and ed is like "no. i will leave you at the next dock. and then i will burn the whole world down. i will bring hellfire straight to london and wage war on that shithole of a country. i'll slaughter every naval soldier who tries to cut me down. and when im finally overrun, i will go down in a blaze of glory so spectacular that they'll tell stories of it for years to come, until the sun burns out at the end of the world. and you will have no part in it. you will be stuck on some tiny island here on the other side of the world and nobody will know or care who you are. that's what's going to happen if you do anything to stede."

izzy is shaking. he's like. alright. anything else? and ed's like "yeah. i'm sorry about your toe. won't happen again." and that actually makes izzy almost cry. that there's nothing he can do to make ed look at him like that again, all attention on him, putting him in his place. there's nothing he can take from ed to make ed pay attention to him. if he wants to be close to ed, he has to give something to him. something less tangible than his own toe.

(and izzy thinks what he gives to ed is his sword and his undying loyalty to his captain, to blackbeard. he doesn't understand, just yet, that ed already has a sword, and that ed doesn't want loyalty to blackbeard. izzy doesn't get that giving ed a break is more than enough for ed to want to keep anyone around)

so yeah. this threat works. izzy gives up on trying to kill stede.

so ed is still in recovery for like a month. he's not able to move around a lot, so he's just kinda lounging around the Revenge being grossly in love with stede. he's always in a robe + leather pants combo, tits out and vibing. the crew raids some ships, including a naval vessel that was caught off guard. ed doesn't go on the raids, obviously, and stede stays behind with him, and the rest of the crew members don't trust izzy enough to let him join them. the crew pull off a bunch of weird fuckeries and have some very successful raids, but every time they come back with furniture and books and fabric and stuff, izzy rolls his eyes and grumbles some shit about "real pirating."

during all of this, izzy keeps trying to get ed alone. his new strategy is to try and be buddy-buddy with ed and peer pressuring him into tough masculine pirate violence (which always worked for jack whenever he came around), and also just hope ed gets bored of stede. but stede is like, at ed's side 24/7. the only time that ed is alone is when he's taking naps in the captain's cabin (bc again, he's recovering from Ambiguous Wound With Vague And Innaccurate Medical Properties), and stede literally makes ppl guard the door to let ed sleep. when izzy runs into stede alone, stede tries to initiate friendly conversation for ed's sake, but eventually izzy says some shit like, "i've been by ed's side for years before you, and i'll be by his side for years after. he'll get bored of you, eventually." and also he insults stede's masculinity a bunch, obvi. stede just sighs and is like, "well, i tried," and then he just gives izzy the cold shoulder from then on out

one of the nights when he's training with jim, izzy just keeps getting his ass handed to him and eventually jim is like "goddamn, i get your heart is broken but you're really sloppy tonight" and izzy is like. WHAT. how dare you. i don't have feelings. and jim is like "buddy you haven't slept in a week." and izzy's like "how can i sleep when everyone on this fucking ship wants to kill me!" and jim's like, "i don't want to kill you." izzy rolls his eyes but he's like "thanks," then jim's like "yknow, if you stopped being such a dick they'd probably stop wanting to kill you" and izzy is like "oh so i should just do what all you guys do? sit around braiding each other's hair and having group therapy sessions and spilling my guts to everyone while i'm all wrapped up in a silk gown?" and jim is like. "buddy, do you see me spilling my guts in group therapy or wearing a silk gown?" and izzy's like, "okay, but you're not like the rest of them." and jim's like "you're right, i'm not. just like lucius isn't like the rest of them. or how the swede isn't like the rest of them. or fang, or ivan, or frenchie, or anyone else on this ship. we're all different people, man. we don't have a problem with differences. we have a problem with people who do have a problem with differences." izzy is like "the fuck does that mean." jim is like "yeah, i can tell you're gonna have a hard time wrapping your head around that one, so im just gonna go to bed now. same time tomorrow?"

the next night, ed doesn't come up with stede to listen to the bedtime story. while stede is distracted, izzy sneaks downstairs to finally talk to ed alone. ed is like. trying to prepare some kind of horny surprise for stede (lingerie, probably. something that's kinda feminine), so we get that avatar scene where zuko goes to talk to sokka and sokka thinks suki is the one who entered the tent (only ed is like, almost entirely naked and in the middle of prepping himself), and ed greets izzy like, "oh babe, you're back early! i was going to surprise you, but you can come here and help me finish getting ready~" or some shit idk. izzy is incapable of human speech for several seconds, and when ed realizes that this is not stede he very nearly dies of embarrassment. he covers himself up while izzy is just. choking on air. overcome with rage/lust/jealousy at the sight. he stands behind a chair to hide his absolutely raging boner

when ed's got one of stede's robes on he's like. haha. heyyyy buddy. haven't seen you around much. how have things been? and izzy is like. things have been great. super. im trapped on a boat full of people that want to kill me. ed is like, oh no, they're still going on about the killing you thing? maybe we should have stede mediate another group therapy session, i know laying everything out in the open really helped me get—

and izzy cuts him off like "how the fuck are you falling for this?" ed is like. "?" izzy continues, "you're letting everyone see you at your weakest! they're going to kill you!" ed is like ok they could've done that literally at any point while i was feverish in bed. or at any point since then, really, i'm not exactly at the top of my game right now. izzy's like, "they're gonna turn you in for a bounty!" ed is like bro they literally had the opportunity when we raided that british naval ship two days ago. izzy just starts working himself up into a frenzy while ed is like, calmly pointing out where izzy's logic is flawed, until eventually izzy says some demeaning shit about ed's masculinity, and ed's face cracks for a moment, then suddenly stede (back from storytime) literally APPEARS FROM NOWHERE and just. DECKS izzy. wrecks the little man's ENTIRE shit. breaks his fucking nose.

izzy is like. in shock. so is ed actually. (both of them are also. very turned on.) and stede is like "i've let you say this shit about me. but you do not get to say that shit to ed" (but like, better written and more in character, lol). stede then gives a whole speech where he is just letting out every bottled up response to all of izzy's insults for the past few weeks, talking abt "how dare you speak to ed that way, the only reason you're alive is because ed somehow still has fondness for you, even though you've done nothing to earn that fondness. if you really knew ed as well as you say you do, you should be happy to see ed opening up and becoming more comfortable with himself and his crew. ed enjoying fine things doesn't make him less of a pirate, he's still just as much the brilliant sailor he's always been. even now, while ed is recovering from his wound, he's been helping the crew read the weather and predict storms and plan raids, and all you've been doing is sulking around and making everyone miserable! i'm not going to have my men kill you, izzy, because ed still, for some reason, cares about you, but if you don't stop being such a prick, you can get the fuck off my ship the next time we head to port. now if you'd kindly fuck the hell off, im going to make love to my co-captain, who looks really good in that lingerie."

izzy leaves. is having a hard time having coherent thoughts. by chance he runs into jim, who's like, "hope you're ready to put up a better fight than you did last ni-hooooly shit what happened to your face?" and izzy is like. what? and jim's like "bro im getting roach stay here." and izzy just sits in the rec room (or wherever they are) until jim comes back with a very sleepy-looking roach, who takes one look at izzy's face and bursts out laughing. that's enough to get izzy to stop staring blankly, and he tries to snarl at roach, except that when he moves his face it hurts like fucking hell. and roach is like, "alright, alright, hoo boy! wish i could've seen whatever caused this." then he's like, "so i need to pop your nose back into place. it's gonna hurt like hell though, so i should probably go get some laudanum–" and izzy's like "no it's fine just do it." and jim's eyebrows raise and roach is like, "uh... are you sure?" and izzy's like "just fucking do it!"

so roach does and izzy screams through gritted teeth. then roach cleans his nose with rum or something, bandages it, gives izzy the rest of the booze, and goes back to bed, leaving jim and izzy there alone. izzy starts drinking. jim sits next to him and holds their hand out for the bottle, and then the two of them just drink in silence until the bottle is gone. then they go to bed without saying anything.

then izzy proceeds to have The Most Confusing Wet Dream Of His Entire Goddamn Life. he keeps seeing ed in lingerie, stede's face twisted in righteous anger, random flashes of stede fucking ed, izzy fucking ed in the lingerie, izzy wearing the lingerie and getting fucked by stede, izzy calling stede daddy, stede and ed fully clothed asking izzy to talk about his feelings, stede slapping izzy and spitting into his mouth.

izzy wakes up with the worst case of morning wood he's ever had in his life. he proceeds to have a very frantic masturbation session. as he's laying there afterwards, he keeps thinking abt ed in lingerie and stede breaking his nose. and he absolutely cannot wrap his head around the fact that ed bottoms. this is also the first time izzy's ever consciously thought about having sex with ed. he's literally been so repressed that for years he would just jack off to like, remembering the smell of booze in ed's beard or some pathetic shit like that. he'd think about, like, fighting with ed and getting pinned down and being totally at ed's mercy. but now when he thinks of those old fantasies, instead of ed pinning him down, it's stede?????

izzy stays in bed the whole day. nobody comes to check on him. he hears the sound of the crew going about their day, stede's voice calling out commands on the deck. he jerks off again at some point in the afternoon. night falls. he can't make out the words, but he can tell from the cadence of stede's voice at what point he starts reading to the crew, and at what point they all go to sleep. he waits for ten more minutes to pass, then he heads to the galley to get food.

jim is waiting literally right outside his door. izzy is not spooked at all (this is a lie).

jim's like "hey man, we never got to spar last night. let's go." izzy's like, "i haven't eaten anything all day." and jim's like, "so you're saying you can't take me?" and izzy snorts and follows them to go practice murdering people

jim very much goes easy on izzy, but izzy is too hungry and tired and confused (and horny) to care. they fight or whatever, jim wins every round, then they're like "man im starving, let's get a snack." the two of them go get food. after a while, jim's like, "so, what'd you say to piss stede off so bad?" and izzy's like, "how did you know it was him?" and jim laughs and says, "the knuckles on his right hand were bandaged up today, and he didn't seem too worried about you spending all day hiding in your room."

izzy takes a long drink and doesn't respond for a while. then he says, "you're dating the guy with the hat, right?" jim's like, "i'm the guy with the hat." and izzy's like, "you're a guy?" and jim goes, "ehh..." and tilts their hand side to side. izzy, deciding to move on, is like, "i mean the one with the orange hat. and the blue earring." and jim's like, "it's teal." izzy's like, "whatever." and jim's like, "yeah, we're dating. why?" izzy takes a minute before asking, "what do you like about him?" and jim is jokingly like, "dude, the whole reason i hang out with you is so i don't have to talk about feelings" and izzy, instead of laughing with them like he usually would, just kinda snaps, "would you just answer the question?" jim looks at his face for a long moment, assessing, then says, "i like that olu's kind. he cares about people so easily, i don't know how he does it. he's patient with me, even when i'm being difficult. he tells me when he's upset, but not in a mean way, just in a, like, 'i don't want to be mad at you, help me fix this' way. he can be really clingy sometimes, but he'll hold himself back if i ever need space. he just... accepts me. all of me. even the parts i don't accept."

and izzy is like. staring into space. and after a second jim says, "also he does this thing with his tongue where he–" and izzy is like "OKAY THAT'S ENOUGH THANKS." jim laughs at him a little bit. and after another long pause izzy's like, "you know they almost made him captain?" and jim smirks and is like, "yeah, i heard about that. when they almost threw you overboard?" and izzy's like "yeah. then." and jim says, "yeah, i'm not really surprised. like i said, he's good at caring for people. he'd make a pretty good captain." and izzy's like, "are you mad that he's not captain?" and jim shrugs and is like, "eh, i'm not one for politics." but izzy presses, like, "but he'd be in charge of the whole ship. he'd be the one telling everyone what to do. he'd have all the power here!" and jim's like, "hey man, i don't really give two shits about 'power.' im just trying to get by in this world. all i want is to hang out with my partner, throw knives at stuff, and sometimes watch my crew put on talent shows." and izzy, getting kind of frustrated, is like, "but doesn't it bother you that he's weak?"

before izzy realizes, jim has a knife against his throat and is glaring directly into his eyes. "i let you say a lot of shit to me, pendejo," they growl, "i let you talk shit about this crew, about my captain, about how none of my friends are real pirates. but you do not get to tell me that olu is weak." izzy's eyes are wide at first, but when jim finishes, he snorts and says, "look, he's not as bad as lucius or stede-" but jim cuts him off. "there's more to strength than having power," jim says. "there's more to being strong than just making everyone afraid of you. and whatever it is that you think makes stede and lucius weak" and izzy is like "i fucking knew you'd turn on me too. now everyone on this stupid fucking ship wants to kill me" and jim just gives him the flattest, most unimpressed look before just walking away. they say "get over yourself, izzy" as they go.

izzy goes to bed. has another wet dream. and when he wakes up he's like. fine. fucking fine. i'll try and find some way to live on this stupid fucking clown ship full of shitty pirates.

he apologizes to jim. jim just stares blankly and walks away, but then later is like "we're gonna spar tonight, right?" so izzy knows he's forgiven. he gives the most uncomfortable, gritted apology of his life to stede, and stede's like "oh, it's not me you need to apologize to. go speak to my co-captain." so izzy goes to the captain's cabin and ed is in his usual leathers and izzy is like. trying so hard to make himself apologize but he can't get the words out and eventually ed's like "it's fine, mate. i'll tell stede you apologized, okay?" and izzy's like. alright. thanks. and ed's like "you did kind of have a point, about if the crew wanted to mutiny" and izzy perks up like yes we're going to start running this ship the way real pirates do but then ed is like "yeah, stede wouldn't stand a chance. im still recovering, can you give stede sword lessons for me?"

izzy. does not want to give stede sword lessons. but ed's like "alright i guess i'll tell stede you didn't really apologize and you can get off at the next port. or you can just apologize for real." and izzy really has to think about it but eventually he's like. fine. i'll train your stupid fucking boyfriend.

ed watches for the first half hour of their first training session but someone's gotta captain the ship so from then on out it's just stede and izzy sword fighting in the jam room for a couple hours a day. this leads to angry sexual tension that builds and builds until they angrily make out. and stede is like freaked out bc he loves ed and he would never be unfaithful so he of course goes to ed and tells him about it thinking ed is gonna be heartbroken. but ed is like "i mean, it doesnt really sound like you want the same thing with him tho?" and i guess ed is like "wait if you top izzy i think that'd be kinda funny actually. also that sounds pretty hot. do you wanna top izzy? can i watch?"

so next time they do sword fighting practice ed watches and it escalates to horny shit and then when izzy's like trying really hard to hide his boner, stede is like "what do you say, darling?" and ed is like "pop the question, babe." and then they ask izzy if he'd be okay with stede fucking him while ed watches. izzy tries to bluster his way out of it but then ed is like "damn, was looking forward to it" and izzy is like. ok. fucking. fine.

and then it's really hot and everyone's into it. izzy hates that he's into it but for several days he keeps coming back for more (he tells himself he's only doing it bc it's the only time ed pays any attention to him but like... it's not just that). they do that for like a week or a week and a half. ed gives commentary the whole time, mostly just talking about how hot stede looks. the most he ever says about izzy is stuff like "yeah izzy doesnt he feel so good stretching you out" or whatever

until one day while stede's fucking izzy ed says some shit about "who's the namby pamby now?" and then stede freezes and is like. ed. did izzy say that to you? and ed is like uhhhhhhhhhh maybe? and then stede pulls out of izzy and is like "get the fuck away from him" and izzy (who was having a fantastic time) is like "daddy no" and stede is like "i am not joking get the FUCK out"

and idk. ed tells stede about izzy threatening to kill him while he was heartbroken over stede. and stede is SO fucking mad. maybe stede didnt even know abt the robe era he just thought ed came back to the revenge and went full kraken right away. and this actually makes stede feel more guilty abt leaving bc the thought of ed crying in a blanket fort and eating all his marmalade because he hurt him is even worse than thinking ed just got angry and painted his face. and the fact that izzy said that shit to ed while he was heartbroken like that makes stede SO fucking angry.

and then stede's anger makes ed realize that actually that was really fucked up and he actually finally tells stede about the toe thing and stede is like "i wouldve done the same!!" and they cry together. and then stede and ed dont talk to izzy for weeks and ed starts to emotionally heal from all that. he had stopped wearing stede's robes after the night izzy walked in on him fingering himself but he starts wearing them again. and then he starts actually trying to form a cohesive Look and they steal fancy clothes for ed now and stede pampers ed and takes care of him and ed gets to relax and not worry about people depending on him or on how people perceive him. and he and stede together get to be more confident in themselves than theyve felt in forever

and in the meantime i guess izzy just starts acting like a normal crew member and he very much hates it and the crew is very much giving him shit (someone makes him swab the deck through the entire night) and he wants to be mean to them so fucking bad but like, he knows one wrong move and he's off the boat forever and he doesn't want that. so idk i guess eventually the crew lays off him and invites him to sit and drink with them and stuff. izzy doesn't really get any of them, but jim will sit down next to him and drink next to him and izzy decides that actually maybe this crew isn't entirely useless. they still get on his nerves tho

then one night crew is also like "so uh... why are the captains not fucking you anymore" and izzy's like "YOU KNEW??" and theyre like "buddy you were SO loud. we all heard you call stede daddy" and izzy actually almost has a panic attack but idk someone (lucius?) is like "dude nobody is judging you. it's okay."

and izzy realizes theyre right. nobody is judging him. they want gossipy details but they don't actually care. and that's a big "oh" moment, that he could do things the wrong way (get fucked by someone less masculine than him, maybe even talk about his feelings) and these people wont judge him for it. so izzy gives them a very censored version that basically boils down to "they remembered what an asshole i am and they want nothing to do with me. and they're right"

and uhhhh maybe izzy and lucius hook up too. and then izzy starts crying after and lucius is like "oh god what's wrong" and izzy's like "i miss them. i miss ed. i miss bonnet. why the fuck do i miss bonnet??" and lucius is like "aww did izzy the spewer catch feelings?" and izzy's like "fuck. fuck. i fucking did jesus fuck." he also admits to himself finally that he's been in love with ed for years. (the feelings izzy thinks he has for stede are just His Cock Feels Really Good In My Ass)

and. idk. i guess weeks after all this character development has happened for ed and izzy and stede, izzy jumps in front of a bullet for stede. which leads to stede and ed both thanking him when he wakes up. which leads to izzy apologizing to ed and being like "you dont have to forgive me." and i dont think ed totally accepts the apology but he and stede do start talking to izzy again. ed more than stede maybe. i think stede is a huge prick to izzy and izzy sometimes snaps back but mostly he just sighs because like, yeah. that's fair.

and then i think ed and izzy happen first this time like i think they're reminiscing about old times and ed is like "do you realize how unhappy i was though?" and izzy is like "i didnt before, but i can see it now. you look younger than you have in years. i'm glad you found someone who knows how to love you better than i do" and ed's like wait WHAT. and izzy's like "? what?" and ed's like "you love me??" and izzy's like "yes?? obviously?????" and ed's like "i thought you just wanted me to fuck you!!!" and izzy's like "i mean THAT TOO" and ed's like "do you still love me??" and izzy's like "god only knows why, but yes! obviously!" and then ed asks "do you still want me to fuck you?" and izzy's like "yknow, that's actually a harder one to answer! i dont really know!! i just know that i love you and youre hot!"

And Then They Make Out

and this one is a harder convo for ed and stede to have, not because of the infidelity but stede is like "you remember how he hurt you though?" and ed's like yeah. and im not ever gonna forget that. but i think i can move past it. and stede's like okay fine but i have one condition. he has to watch you bottom for me first

so they do that. bc stede is like "i need izzy to know that the way we make love doesnt make you any less of a man." and izzy is into it obviously, this is not how he ever imagined ed would enjoy sex but he can't deny that ed looks good, and suddenly the "you look younger than you have in years" makes sense. like he can tell ed is loving this and suddenly trying to connect this man with the version of Sexy Blackbeard that izzy was pining after for years just doesn't make sense. izzy can no longer picture ed doing hardcore kinky bdsm dom shit to him.

also izzy's been on the receiving end of stede's dick so he's like, yeah, i get it. but then weirdly even tho this was supposed to be about izzy accepting that ed doesnt want to be the aggressive daddy dom izzy always wanted him to be, izzy (who is first and foremost a huge bottom and the world's biggest sub) is looking at how good ed feels and all he can think is i want stede bonnet in my mouth so fucking bad oh my god.

and then he's not looking at ed at all he's just looking at stede and is like oh shit oh shit oh shit. and ed nuts first and when stede pulls out izzy is right there like "please please please finish in my mouth please daddy" (<- sentences that killed me to write). and stede and ed are both like. oh.

this leads to them falling back into something like their original arrangement where stede and izzy are hate-fucking except now ed is getting in on the action. so like the sex dynamic is that usually ed is either being a pillow princess or a power bottom for stede, izzy is a bratty sub to stede, stede is a service top for ed and a daddy dom for izzy, and then ed and izzy trade handies or oral or whatever when it's all three of them. sometimes stede and izzy team up to pamper ed, or stede and ed team up to torment izzy. ed and izzy by themselves usually dont do anal but when they do izzy usually tops. ed and izzy having sex isn't the sappy passionate lovemaking of ed and stede but it is still very sweet. these sex dynamics aren't set rules or anything, sometimes ed tops stede and sometimes izzy isnt being quite so submissive and etc etc, but that's usually the vibe. ed never doms izzy tho.

as for the emotional dynamic. ed and stede are in love obviously, we all watched the show. with izzy and ed, i dont think ed is in love with izzy at first but he falls into it gradually. stede is maybe a little jealous of this at first but 1. he cant deny anything from ed and if ed loves izzy then fine, ed can love izzy, and 2. he can see that it happens in a different way than how ed loves stede, so he eventually gets over it. and then with stede and izzy it's basically just this post i made where one day while they're fucking it suddenly out of nowhere gets really soft (ed is sitting out for this one but he's there watching) and afterwards stede and izzy are both so mad about being in love. theyre angry at themselves and then they play chicken about it until stede gets injured and izzy says i love you and that completes the steddyhands injurty trifecta so i guess that means the story ends and i'm freed from this post and i can finally get it out of my fucking drafts. jesus fucking christ.

[onlyseokmins]

heyyy! just dropping in to ask, what's up with a tiger's dominion? it is SO SO good and i have been waiting for the next chapter since... omg, is it since september? october? has it really been half a year already? :o i know you have other things going on too, but do you have a rough estimate of when the next chapter might be ready? a month? three months? *deep sigh* it's just so well-written and spicy (thank you for your hard work!), i wish we had more TT

Henlo anonny 💖 tysm um long story short, tldr; it's the next thing that should come out and smth I've been steadily working on except for much of this week (17.7k and counting), which I plan to pick back up this weekend. I truly appreciate the still-there interest in it 😭 ty for sticking w/ me for so long 🥹

It's definitely a labor of love, I've hit abt 4 writer's blocks w/ just getting to the scenes I want (and didn't even deviate from the script djjdjee). I am finally about halfway through the final scene of part 2, which by itself is the longest piece I've ever written and together, will be the first series I hope to conclude!

But honestly any time it shows up in my notifs or someone occasionally asks abt it, I'm able to "pick up the pen" again and abt 3 of my mutuals know how much I'm screaming abt it djskkske. I'm really trying to put everything I can into it for the ppl who have been loyally waiting for it!

Which is why I'm going to have it beta read, also another first for me 😂 I just wanna give everyone what they've been waiting for in good quality. So once again, ty for your kind words and continual support!

You might not believe me but the doc has been created for part 2 since sep 8, I think the day the first part was published. So I haven't forgotten abt it all and I hope not everyone has too 🥹

I'll be updating the teaser soon (since it's changed just a bit as well) and when I reblog it w/ the new addition, that means part 1 is under review hehe. And I'll reply to feedback for part 1 as well once the second part is posted!

[charlotteiscrying]

i started tapering off my methadone at the start of march ! my addiction dr told me i should go down 1mg, wait a month, go down 1mg, wait a month, etc. i said lol no, that’d take 40 months, im going down 5mg, waiting a month, etc. i couldn’t even tell i took less. absolutely zero withdraw :,)

i will be completely sober around september how the math works out. i am so beyond proud of myself. i cannot wait to be totally off this. and hey, at least i don’t still gotta quick alcohol ! ooooo, you haven’t changed at all, you are right back where you started before you met me. drinking every day, drinking copious amounts of hard liquor everyday, n repeating the next. drinking so that you can not feel.

you made me feel so much, in such a short amount of time, and such not good feelings. you COULD have just had that conversation you didn’t want to have. if you never loved me, a 5 min convo on facetime would have saved me all this hurt. you actually chose the polar opposite, you chose to get my hopes up as high as possible. you told me you’re moving back home, that you can’t wait to be able to drive to me whenever. we had the sweetest, nicest, best facetime we had had in months, you said i’m sleepy i wanna go to bed, i said alright get some sleep ily, you said “I dOnT lOvE yOu” n hung up. i would not call that breaking up w me. i would simply call that confusing as hell. bc yk damn well you had said that same sentence to me a million times. how was i supposed to read your mind that that time was any different ?

regardless, you know what you did, you know why you did it, you know what came of it. you hurt me more than any other human ever has, in my entire life. you didn’t have to hurt me. you chose to. that’s what hurt the most. you couldn’t just have a 2 min convo on the phone, say “yea i truly don’t know what i want, but i do know i don’t love you, and i don’t want to be with you anymore. i never loved you. i’ve been lying this whole time. i was never serious about that ring. i lied to you abt that on your birthday. thank you for all the good times, but this is goodbye.” i would have been sad, but i would have been happy that you at least were man enough to say it to my face. how hard would that of been, huh ? or do you genuinely believe i don’t deserve that. i don’t deserve to know.

i don’t even want you to hurt now. i can’t even bring myself to wish harm on you. i truly just hope you’re happy. i hope karma comes around to you, and i know it will, but i don’t want you to hurt. i wish you hadn’t hurt me this bad, but i don’t want your life ruined. i don’t want you to be in prison for the rest of your life. do i think you deserve that ? more probable. but do i want that for you ? no, not at all. that is why i will take your secrets to my grave with me. you don’t deserve me to keep them to myself, but i always will. you trusted me enough to keep them secret, even though you hurt me worse than i’ve ever hurt before, i will always keep them secret. i don’t know if that makes me even more insane. it probably does. i wish i could wish harm onto you. i wish i wanted to see you hurt. i just don’t. you put me through more pain than detoxing off that fentanyl did. than my entire 7 year addiction did. i so desperately wish you hadn’t treated me how you did, but i want you to live a long happy fulfilling life. away from alcohol and percs and all the bad stuff. i hope you and that motorcycle get to live together happily ever after, amen.

i’m moving out so soon :) i’ve actually SAVED a LOT of money, i have enough right now to cover first and last month’s rent, the deposit, and i’ll still have several bands left over. next is buying a car, again.

i’m slowly rebuilding my life. you truly left me with nothing. this is the second time i’m having to start over from nothing. this is the 4th time i’ve had to save up from nothing to buy a car for myself. in 2 months my phone plan will be paid off, im taking my phone off my moms plan and putting it on my own line. i’m staying on my moms insurance till im 25, then i’ll get medicade. i think i know where i want to rent. i’m so excited.

i’ve gained 30lbs since the day i went to detox. i’m 107 lbs today. i was 87 lbs that day i showed up at the hospital. i love how i look more than ever. i am so happy with myself, my brain, my body, my heart. my boobs have tripled in size, my ass is HUGE, i’ve been working out everyday for months now.

my skin is CLEAR. i have ZERO acne on my face right now. i do my skincare every night, even if im falling asleep exhausted, i still get up n do it. i’m showering at least every 3 days.

i’ve been posting on onlyfans more, only solo stuff, my entire onlyfans is just me :) i had the best month i’ve ever had on there. without your dick being in a single video. i just hit the top 10% of all onlyfans creators, after less than a month of being active again. i’m un-device-banned, i have snap on this phone again !!! i’m gonna buy a microwave just to nuke that red phone in.

i got asked to walk in baltimore fashion week, i said no lol, but a modeling scout actually scouted me, is trying to get me in that industry as well. i got the opportunity to be in a vans commercial, not a ad, a mf commercial that’d play across the entire country. a fashion nova commercial too. i’m not sure if im gonna say yes. i’m still thinking on it.

i am just so happy. so many doors are opening for me, this is just the beginning. i’m taking myself all the way to the top. my black x is burnt he fucked pre-porn me. you are burnt you fucked drug addict, unhealthy, underweight, titless me.

i’m gonna keep making progress. i’m gonna keep taking small baby steps. i’m gonna continue saving, continue tapering off my methadone. pretty soon i’ll be totally sober, n you’ll be worse than ever.

n that’s another thing i realized. you didn’t even get through detox on your own. you pussied out on day 3, tweaked on 5 drs, beat them up till they shot you up with fentanyl !!! then you mf died, so the drs detoxed you, while you took a nap. you couldn’t even get through fentanyl withdraw on your own. i did :) you went psychotic for a week n you couldn’t deal with it. you’re permanently fucked up now bc of it. your brain will always be altered because of it. i live in psychosis. i’m psychotic everyday. you got to experience what i do, for a tiny fraction of the time, and you went so insane you died !!! imagine your brain bein like that 24/7. that’s why i remember every second of detox, i didn’t go insane, ive always been equally this insane. but i got through detox. i pushed through the pain. i felt all the emotions, all the anxiety, all the hurt, and i learned to push past it. not to push it down, to feel it, and to move on. to use all that pain as fuel to fire me.

i am invincible. i don’t need anyone. i don’t want anyone. i’m good alone. i have so much to prove, and im gonna do it. thank you for reminding me who i am. you fucked up doin that :)

[shdwwlkrsblog]

Hii! I was wondering how will uchihas react to you wearing a white top but it rained and it is transyy now! Please include Naruto Sai Kakashi Lee & deidara too. Thank you. You choose if its their world or modern AU.

Sure imma make it modern AU

Warning: slight nsfw? Slight violence (not against Reader)

Naruto-Masterlist

Madara

Stares and if you act confident and start flirting with him ? He will blush a little

"oh someone's blushing?" " I'm just cold"

He lends you his jacket if he doesn't have one here no problem he can just carry you and cover certain places with his hands

But if it happens in a more public place he will cover you because

No one is allowed to see what's his .

People who dare to catcall or whistle behind you? Dead.

Well not dead but they'll wish they are

Obito

Smirks and blushes a little " nice bra y/n it's ruining my view"

This motherfucker will tease you Abt it every 3 seconds

Punches anyone who dares flirting with you

But he will lend you his jacket (he always has one either around his waist or he's wearing it)

Itachi

Blushes dark red " Uhm here take my jacket you must be cold" tries not to point it out because it could make you uncomfortable if he has none? No problem a clone is getting one in light speed

But if you start flirting with him you won't be able to tell if his sharingan or his face is redder

"you like what you're seeing?" He Won't answer only stares deep in thoughts

Oh now he has a problem (if yk yk)

Sasuke

lends you his jacket immediately and if he has none? He will cover you with his body

"you might need it and don't forget closing it i don't want other to see them"

You'll see a light blush on his cheeks

He will hold you close

Stares at anyone who looks at you wrong

Indra

Knows it'll rain so he has a jacket with him

He will be more soft with you even asks you to help you put it on

Mf just wanted a better view without you noticing

But you noticed and had the courage to "flirt"

"It's a nice view isn't it?"

Man's getting red

He knew it'll rain but he didn't knew you'll see that , pfft-

"yeah and I'll remove the part covering most of it's beauty later" when did he get so flirty? You don't know but you don't complain either

Naruto

Has the same situation as you , but summons you and him a jacket

Doesn't say anything flirtatious but will shoot people who do a death stare

Holds you close

Let me correct myself

Presses you against him slightly

Boy just want everyone to see you both are together

Sai

Sai.exe stopped working for a sec

Pick you up and lays a jacket on top of you as a blanket

Don't ask why it's his natural instincts

Rain is dangerous for you because it'll get you a cold so he'll bring you home where you are safe

Will make you so much hot chocolate just to prevent you from getting a cold

Kakashi

" nice tits y/n " smirks under his mask " Kashi!" "They would look even better in my hands"

Doesn't stop flirting but then you shivered because the temperature went down too

A clone got you a jacket while another got a hot chocolate for you both ( imma say it all clones look a bit different so no one gets confused if 5 Kakashi look alikes)

Teases you about it

Then 2 days later " accidentally" spilt a cup of water over your torso

He just wanted to see it again

Rock lee

Dark red face and hugs you immediately covering you up as good as he could " any idea what to do now? I don't want them to see you like this"

He then just carrys you home like he holds a kid but can't help but stares at your torso

Want to see him even more red? " Like what you see? What a naughty boy~"

words can't explain how red he is pffft-

Deidara

Like indra knew it's gonna rain so brought an umbrella and jacket with him

Let's you get wet then gives you the jacket

He didn't even get red when you caught him staring " guess you should have listened but it's nice that you didn't this time"

Beated up a guy who tried to touch you

Nothing special happened

Thanks for requesting!

[shotorozu]

hello !! I'd rlly like to request Monoma if that's alright! I've had a huge soft spot for him for a while now and I'd love to see more content of him ;v;

anyway! we all know that superiority complex of his is definitely hiding some insecurities, but I also feel like he'd be quite touchstarved too bc of his peers seldom physically interacting with him due to his quirk, yknow?

with that in mind, I'd love to see how he'd handle an s/o who has "physical touch" as their main love language. they can give verbal praise/comfort, but they always get so shy abt it that they prefer giving physical affection to show their love. and maybe combining that with "quality time" being their second love language, they love to just cuddle him or toy with his hands/hair during quiet moments uwu

if you wanna do multiple characters, I'd love to request Shinsou, Midoriya, and Amajiki (separately) for the same idea, but if you'd rather do this with just Monoma then I'm okay with that !! no worries if you don't wanna do all four ♡

thank you if you do this request, and make sure to take care of yourself !! ♡

physically affectionate s/o

character(s) : monoma neito, shinsou hitoshi, midoriya izuku (i cut out tamaki for this one, sorry :[ but i’ll do another part if anyone wants it)

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns used, strong quirk but the details aren’t specific, reader is a part of 1-A

headcanon type : fluff (and if you squint, then crack)

note(s) : yes i do agree :,) monoma should be getting a little bit more content, and i’m sorry that this came out so late! i was multitasking with other requests (because i took a 2 day absence,,) but this doesn’t mean i don’t read people’s requests

»»————-　♡　————-««

monoma neito

monoma 🤝 bakugou “the pros at sending mixed signals”

if there’s one thing he’s known for— then it’s for the persistent teasing, and his quite obnoxious attitude (especially at 1-A)

but he’s not a terrible person, he sure does have his reasons. and by now, people either choose to ignore him, or they simply knock the wind out of him

so, he was not prepared to encounter someone that was tolerant of him, AND also his type— like.. huh. that’s.. odd

and he was even more surprised when they accepted his wild love confession. there must be some catch to it, right?

so like i’ve said— monoma sends a lot of mixed signals. it’s either he’s complimenting your existence, or teasing you in various ways.

so— it’s just another normal day of monoma mouthing off to you, teasing you in a playful way, while you guys are hanging out this is way of making you remember him

but then, you just.. leaned forward and placed your hand on his head— not exchanging any words at all.

monoma’s first reaction is (・・?) because what?? someone is touching him right now.. wait.. someone is touching him!

honestly really shook, and at a lost for words— because everyone has refrained from coming into any physical contact with him? what a surprise! what even is this?

after said incident, you decide to speak “you had something in your hair.” and for once, monoma is the one that’s sitting in silence

“R-REALLY, Y/N? DID YOU REALLY THINK THAT WAS GOING TO W-WORK ON ME OR SOMETHING?” he questions in his usual mocking tone, but his cheeks are accompanied in a flushed red

he’d only experience field day when he realized that touch was basically your love language, with quality time in the second lead

so whenever you guys are spending time together, you’d,, actually go closer to him! this has never happened before, let him be

he doesn’t really like the idea of getting his hair touched, so you usually choose to fiddle with his hands— sometimes observing his details, and other times you’ll be comparing hand sizes

he’ll ridicule you for being so touchy— but he’ll ask if he’s “that irresistable?” while also moving you closer to him. he loves it a lot, okay?

don’t let class 1-b see this, he will flex on them because when he starts getting annoying again, they’ll use you as blackmail.

“monoma, i swear— if you do that, we’ll tell Y/N-”

“HAHA— ok, i’m sorry.”

shinsou hitoshi

he probably has the most chill reaction out of the bunch

again— another person that has been antagonized because of their quirk. he’s been perceived as villanious ever since his middle school days

kids have been told to keep their distance away from him at a young age so.. you’d bet that he’d be really touch starved

he never had any serious experiences with dating, and he never had any real friends— that weren’t cautious of his quirk

that was until he met you, which he just assumed you were another highkey stuck up person in the hero course

but, you were basically the opposite, and you were a real pleasure to have around. one thing lead to another, and now you guys are dating

he thought it was really cute whenever you got too shy to just sit in silence during dates, or to even give out words of affirmations

but hitoshi was surprised at first when he felt you pull yourself closer to him— resting your head on his shoulder. the concept of someone wanting to be in his presence is still sinking in for him

lucky for you! shinsou knows how to adapt to situations quickly, immediately slinging an arm around your shoulder, as he listens to you talk

he’ll be surprised when you start touching his hair, because golly!! are you guys close

but do it more pls, he loves it a lot— it sometimes makes him really drowsy.

if you play with his hands omg, his heart will do somersaults. he’s lucky that he’s able to keep himself composed.

loves watching you choosing to cuddle him, after briefly giving up on trying to form coherent words of affirmations.

it’s something he brings up quite often, but not in a teasing manner!

sometimes he’ll pat the free spot beside him, basically begging you to come closer to him.

eventually, denki notices on how touchy he’ll get whenever you’re around— but hitoshi will just shrug it off

“it’s always been that way.” he simply says, but he’ll turn around with this big ass grin on his face 💀

he’s whipped for your touch. so please, do it more

midoriya izuku

he’s also touchstarved. actually, all of them are really touchstarved, and for different reasons 💀

well.. it’s not like he had a choice from the getgo. he was born quirkless, and that lead to him becoming an outcase— and also the victim of bullying i wanna hug him

and being told constantly that he won’t ever be enough, or he won’t ever be a hero— it’s obvious that he doesn’t have any dating experience

but he didn’t think he’d be dating anytime soon— especially since he was ‘just’ pinning over you. he was convinced it was going nowhere

until you confessed. he’s surprised that he didn’t pass out

ever since you guys started dating, he noticed that you’ve been a little timid— not in the way that you feel awkward, more like,, you wanted to say something

or do something, because when you guys were studying together, you just suddenly sat closer to him— and started counting his freckles

he short circuited for a second.

he was reduced to a stuttering, and blushy mess— and you just laughed, telling him “you should continue what you’re doing!” as you ran your other hand across his shoulders

that night, he was wide awake in his bed— recalling your gentle and loving touch, running his hands along the parts of his hair, that you’ve touched

he loves quality time, because while he does like to ramble a lot— he does enjoy spending time with you in silence, but it’s the touches that makes him flustered

despite him being quite shy to initiate any sort of touch, you— on the other hand, were shy with saying praises. so you coped with physical touch, and quality time

man, izuku never gets used to it. no matter how much he tries to— he’s just.. needy, touchstarved.

he doesn’t realize how lost he looks when you’re sitting beside him, and not touching his hair or hands for once. please feel free to do so

oh, and since we’re on the topic of hands— he’ll tear up if you start playing/fiddling with his hands, and especially when you start tracing his scars. it makes him feel so warm.

okay but,, please give him a heads up if you’re going to act touchy in public. he’ll start stammering and blushing hard you might have to put him in rice or smth

the dekusquad talks about that quite a lot, especially when they accidentally witnessed it in the common room (for the first time)

in short— he adores it. sometimes he’ll initiate it, by asking you if you want to sit beside him, to play with his hair. he’s so inlove

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei. i only own the writing, and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, repost, translate, or use my works for audio readings without my permission :))

[hotch-stufff]

i was thinking abt an au based on olvias rodrigo’s song “traitor”, where the reader (y/n) starts dating hotch two weeks after breaking up with gibbs, and a happy ending with ur most favorite guy out of them two??

Traitor

Gifs by hotchology and specialagentastra

Pairing: Hotch x Reader, Gibbs x Reader

Warnings!: Angst, lots of it, break ups, arguing, mentions of breakup, more angst, kissing, crying, some cursing, but a mostly fluffy ending

Description: you move on quick after breaking up with Gibbs. He's upset, but you're happy with the man your with. What will you do? Who do you choose?

Author's Note: asking me to end this with my favorite guy was like impossible. It was a super hard decision. and it was very close. If anyone would like an alternate ending for the other guy, lmk. I would be happy to write it. Enjoy reading, i loved writing this one!!

------------

You were broken hearted. But you had been for a long time. The breakup didn't surprise you. It had been coming for a while. You knew it was.

He was distant and cold towards you. He didn't give you soft kisses when he got home. He didn't hug you from behind while you did the dishes. He didn't tell you he loved you before falling asleep.

It had all stopped months ago.

You two really had been in love in the beginning. You had loved Jethro with all of your heart. He was the man of your dreams. He was the best man you had ever been with. The man of your dreams.

The relationship had started with passionate kisses and romantic gestures and spending time together. But it had slowly changed to, quick pecks and bits of time here and there together. And then the kisses had stopped and any time spent together was spent fighting.

It was hard. Really hard to see this once loving relationship turn into something that you dreaded. It was so hard to dread the moment the man you once loved would walk through the door.

You knew it was coming to an end. He began spending nights at the office. He didn't even want to come home to you.

He didn’t even want to see you. He wouldn’t even go into his own house, because you were there. 

And that hurt. A lot. 

It hurt to know he didn't want to be near you. 

You knew it was coming to an end.

Over the months that the relationship was dwindling down, you had ended up befriending one of your students' fathers. Aaron Hotchner. You were a teacher at the elementary school in your county. 

He had found you crying in between parent teacher conferences and had asked what was wrong. He had gone through a divorce and knew how hard it was to let go through what you were going through. 

You two had ended up talking that night for what had felt like hours. It was just natural conversation. 

But the talks became weekly. You two would meet up, if he wasn’t on a case, and would just talk about everything. He quickly became one of your closest friends. 

Now of course, Gibbs had found out about these meetings and had turned it into a fight. He didn’t like the idea of you spending so much time with another man. But then again, he wasn’t even home enough to spend any time with you. 

“So, cheating on me now?” He had asked one night after actually coming home for once.

“Excuse me?” You had asked sharply.

“You heard me. That man, Aaron Hotchner. I saw you two at the bar the other night.” You rolled your eyes. Of course he was doing this. He would find any reason to start a fight. 

“He’s a friend and the father of one of my students. Just a friend, Jethro.” You really didn't want to fight. But he was pushing for one. For whatever reason you didn’t know.

“Sure.” He scoffed, igniting a fire in you. You two had gone back and forth all night. Him accusing you over and over of cheating. And you insisting over and over that Aaron was just a friend. The fight had lasted for a couple of days before he finally decided to stop sleeping on the couch and actually came to bed. But, of course, he was gone before you woke up.

It really was coming to an end. You knew it had to be you who had to end it. He would never do it. He didn’t have the strength. 

You knew you had to do it the moment you realized you started having feelings for Aaron. You had felt terrible, but you would never cheat on Jethro. You were most definitely not breaking things off because you wanted to be with Aaron. You were doing it because being with Gibbs was killing you. 

It was hard to come to terms with, but you knew you needed to break things off with Gibbs. It was only tearing you both down. And you almost felt like you were leading Aaron on. Even if he himself admitted you two were only friends. 

The day after you discovered these feelings you broke it off. And it was so much harder than you had ever expected. 

* * *

You waited until he got home. Waiting until he had had a glass of bourbon before bringing it up.

“Gibbs, we need to talk.” You had called him by his last name. His first would be too personal right now. It would hurt too much.

“What?” Was his only response. You took a deep breath before continuing. Here goes nothing.

“I think… I think we should break up.” His eyes shot up to yours. His eyes wide as he wiped his hand down his face. 

“Why?” He knew why. You knew why. Everyone knew why. He just didn’t know what else to say.

“Because Gibbs, we make each other miserable. We’re always fighting or arguing. You don’t even come home some nights, just to avoid the fighting. I can’t bear it anymore. We don’t make eachother happy. We may have once loved each other, but we don’t anymore.” He sighed as he felt tears gather in his eyes. He was angry and upset and pissed and just, just sad. There had to be a bigger reason behind you doing this right?

“Bullshit. You just want to call it off so you can go runnin to Hotchner!” He yelled. You scoffed.

“This isn’t about him!” You yelled right back. 

“You know what? Go. I don’t care. Never loved you anyways.” Now that stung. “You were just a side piece. Something to distract me from work.” You scoffed, rolling your eyes to try and brush away the tears. 

“Sure Gibbs, whatever you need to tell yourself. I’ll be back for the rest of my things tomorrow.” You ran out of yo- his house, slamming the door shut behind you. 

And then you let the tears fall. It was over. All of it was over. 

* * *

You spent the night on Aaron’s couch. Sure it probably wasn’t the best idea, but he had quickly become one of your best friends, and you needed somewhere to stay. When you had told him you were breaking things off, he had almost looked happy. Happy for you, or just happy because he liked you? You couldn’t tell. But you weren’t ready to find out. You needed time. To heal from the break up.

That was what you kept telling yourself at least. It made it easier to keep your distance from Hotch. You needed to wait. You couldn’t just move on like that. It wouldn't be right. Even if you didn’t care how Gibbs felt anymore, you still wouldn't do that to him.

But god, Aaron was making that next to impossible. He was kind and caring. He made sure you were okay and didn’t pressure you into anything. He was there. He had been for months. He picked you up throughout your relationship and even after it had ended. He was there. 

You told yourself that you couldn't do anything, not yet.

But that didn’t last. About 2 weeks after the break up, you were sitting on Aaron’s couch, curled into his side. He had looked down at you and you just hadn’t been able to look away. You had held eye contact until his lips had slammed against yours in a passionate, heated kiss. 

You got lost in that kiss. That kiss you had been waiting for. The kiss he had been waiting for. But then you thought about Gibbs. How he had hurt you. How this would hurt him.

You broke away quickly.

“Wait, wait. Aaron, wait.” He had stopped immediately after hearing your words. Pulling away, a look of disappointment and guilt flashed across his face. 

“God Y/n, I'm so sorry. You're hurting right now and I just took advantage of that.” This man couldn’t be more perfect if he tried. 

“Aaron, I was just going to say that if you want this, then we need to take it slow. I don't know how ready I am to let someone in again. But me and Gibbs, we ended a long time before the break up. I’m not hurting. I mean I am, but I have been hurting for months, and I just want it to go away. It goes away when I’m with you.” He leaned his forehead against yours.

“We can take this as slow as you need to. But I’m here, and I’m here to stay.” You let out a watery laugh and leaned in to kiss him softly.

“Thank you Aaron.” And you fell asleep right there that night, in his arms. Finally feeling happy again.

* * *

Gibbs never expected to see you again after the break up. There was no reason the two of you would run into each other. You were a teacher, him an NCIS agent. No crossing over. 

That is until he had to collaborate on a case with the BAU. And Gibbs was sorely disappointed when he met the Unit Chief. They both knew who the other was. The only thing was that Gibbs didn’t know you and Hotch were together. 

That is until you surprised Aaron with lunch. 

You had walked through the doors of the BAU, waving hi to the team, not seeing Dinozzo or Ziva sitting close by, watching you walk through the bullpen. They knew who you were. They just didn’t know why you were here. 

You walked up the stairs to Hotch’s office and knocked twice before walking in.

“Aaron honey, I brought lun-” You cut yourself off with a quiet gasp as you spotted Jethro Gibbs standing next to Aaron.

“Jethro?” You asked. His eyes shot to you, instantly putting together why you were there. He scoffed. 

“Wow Y/n.” He shook his head, giving you a disappointed look. It had only been about 3 months since the break up. Awkward silence filled the room. No one knew what to say or what to do. But then Gibbs spoke up. 

 “How long after you left did the two of you get together?” You bowed your head. Waiting a couple of seconds before answering. 

“Two weeks.” You whispered out. He scoffed again. You spared a glance up to Aaron, but he was already staring at you with a careful gaze. Making sure you were okay. 

“I'm going to give you two a minute.” And he walked out, squeezing your hand as he passed you. Once he was gone you spoke up again.

“It’s not what you think, Jethro.” 

“You sure, because I’m thinking that you cheated!” He yelled, raising his voice slightly. 

“I would never cheat on you! You know me better than that!” You retorted. 

“Well, you moved on pretty damn fast then. You may not have cheated, but you're still a traitor!” He looked so angry. You didn’t know what to do. 

“Jethro, it hadn’t just been 2 weeks since we had broken up. We had been over for so much longer. We were miserable. But Aaron was there for it all. He became my friend. My best friend. And everytime I ended up crying because of one of our fights, or crying because you didn't come home, he was there to cheer me up. He helped me through the ending of one of the most important relationships I had ever been in.” You paused, trying to catch your breath. “Yes, I moved on. I started dating him 2 weeks after we broke up. You can hate me all you want. Call me a traitor. Fine. But you gave up on us a long time ago, and excuse me for finally finding someone who actually fought to have a relationship with me.’ He took your words in carefully. He thought through each and every thing you had said. The worst part was that he knew you were right. 

About everything. He had given up. He was the one who had stayed away, and picked fights, and just pushed you away. He had already lost you and you had moved on. But here he was standing in your way.

“I’m sorry Y/n.” You were shocked to hear the words leave his mouth. He didn’t say sorry. It was even one of his rules. 

“I will always love you Jethro. Always. But I’ve moved on. So should you. Find someone who makes you happy.” You gave him a sad smile before he brought you in for a hug. It lasted for a while, until you pulled away. He pressed a kiss to your forehead, squeezing your hand, before walking out the door. It was really over. You felt the tears drip down your face. 

Aaron was quick to run back into his office, bringing you in his arms.

“Shh, shh. I’ve got you Y/n. It’s okay. I’ve got you.” You cried for a bit. Just to let it out. You were letting go of him. For good now.

You had Aaron and Jack and Aaron’s team. And that would be enough for you. Because Aaron loved you in a way that Jethro hadn’t. 

Aaron held you until you calmed down, pressing a kiss to your lips as he wiped away your tears. 

“Are you okay?” He asked quietly. For once you could answer honestly. 

“Yes. I am. All because of you.” You smiled as you leaned in and kissed him again. 

You would always love Leroy Jethro Gibbs. But you knew in your heart that you were meant to be with the man in front of you. 

------------

Not entirely sure how I feel about this one, feedback would be greatly appreciated, good or bad!!

Thanks for reading! Requests are still open, so ask away! If you would like an idea of what to request, here is my prompt list, and if you would like to read more of my work, here is my masterlist.

[ayyezhongli]

dom student council pres zhongli x troublemaker childe

Guess who’s back :D Back with some zhonchi smut for all u sinners. Note: Theres a lot of spelling errors bc when i wrote this i was telling it to a friend n they said i should post this n i’m too lazy to edit it so yeah! enjoy <3

summary kinda: child did something n is now stuck in detention with zhongli being a kinky president of the student council watching him.

so childe is bored asf n tries seducing zhongli. but childe has always had a crush on zhongli. thats why he misbehaves to get his attention.

so zhongli says “ur here again” n sighs

“yup did you miss me?! dont answer that bc ik you did”

n zhongli sighs again all annoyed n shit

“seems you never learn”

“maybe i’m jus here bc i love n want to see you everyday”

n zhongli taking that as sarcasm rolls his eyes

“i doubt that.”

and so for like 30mins childe is making all these noises to get zhongli’s attention and annoy him which it works. and zhongli having enough of it already decides that he needs to be punished. so he gets up n walks over to the desk childe is sitting at cups his face with his hand grinning

“u rly like to get on my nerves dont you~…..” and childe’s tryna contain himself

“is it working~?”

“idk pretty boy….wanna find out for urself~…..”

n zhongli is like inches away from childe’s face. n childe still keeping his composure decides to tease back hoping to get what he’s longed for for so long.

“idk do i~?….”

and zhongli leans in n jus as hes abt to kiss childe he pulls away and walks back over to the teachers desk and childe is really disappointed bc he thought he finally had it but jus lost it. so zhongli goes back to working on his paperwork while childe is just furious.

”Is this how u treat everyone?! tease them and leave them with nothing. take advantage of us!!”

n zhongli bursts out laughing putting his papers in a neat stack

”ur quite interesting childe, if i said it was jus u would that make u feel better??”

and childe huffs rolling his eyes still rly pissed off.

“did u want more? were you expecting something more from me? something else?”

n childe blushing looks away

“fuck off”

n zhongli gets mad at the response and pulls out one of those long ass rulers n gets up n starts walking to childe.

“thats no way to speak to the student council president. you need to be punished”

so zhongli sets the ruler aside still pissed asf

“get up.” childe ignores.

”get up right now.” childe still ignores.

so zhongli grabs the ruler smacking it against the desk childe is at.

“GET UP RIGHT NOW!”

n childe jumps a little and gets up

“ok ok chill”

so childe walks over to zhongli n stands in front of him.

“im gonna punish n force you into submission until u completely submit to me”

childe laughs

“no way. you really think u can do that? just try”

“oh i will. just watch me”

(a/n: in this fic childe has bright pink sensitive nipples bc ughh 😩🤌🏾 well both of them have bright pink nipples but zhonglis r rly sensitive.)

so zhongli turns childe around n starts grinding against him causing childe to moan ever so slightly.

“do u like that~?”

n childe tryna keep his composure laughs to cover up a moan. n zhongli looks down and grins seeing childe’s hard erection through his clothes.

so zhongli reaches down n starts palming childe causing slightly louder moans to come out of his mouth.

“your so hard for me childe….what a naughty slutty little boy~“

childe loses it bc zhongli is finally saying the things he’s been dreaming of him saying. so zhongli amused starts licking the shell of his ear biting and nibbling it which makes childe blush harder. so zhongli reaches his hand down into childe’s pants and boxers and wraps his hand around childe’s dick which he almost cums. so zhongli starts pumping him n not even 30s he throws his head back on zhonglis shoulder n cums letting out a loud moan

“fuck zhongli~…..”

zhongli smirks very amused

“so quick to cum~ do i rly turn u on that much~?”

n childe fights the urge to nod his head and submit. he’s not going down without a fight.

“no i was just pent up. why would i be for someone like you!!”

zhongli snickers and slides his hands up childes shirt n starts taking it off.

“not submitting yet i see~….”

“did u think it would be that easy asshole? ha!”

so zhongli turns childe around.

“you should just give up now! your not go-“

n zhongli interrupts him with a passionate kiss. a long deep one filled with sexual tension n desire. he leaves childe blushing like crazy and gasping for air.

“what was that? i didnt catch the last part, say that again.”

“i said that i’m never gonna sub-“

n zhongli interrupts him again. same thing happens like 2 more times until childe gives up.

“can u repeat that one more time?”

and childe looks away with a annoyed expression on his face

“glad that shut u up~”

so then zhongli looks childe up and down bites his lip causing childe to blush.

“you’re kinda cute…i think i can use u….”

n childe blushes more

“and these nipples….”

zhongli says while pinching them making childe arch his back and moan loudly.

“they look pink and innocent…but when i pinch n twist them like this…”

childe lets out n even louder moan with a face flushed even more n drool running down the side of his mouth

“….you make such naughty noises and that really turns me on.”

and so zhongli continues pinch n play with them and then starts marking his neck.

“what if i made u mine hmm? my little fuck toy? or how abt pet?? you could be of some use to me….”

and all childe can do is whimper. so zhongli has him bend over on the teachers desk and pulls down childe’s pants. and he like squeezes childes plump round ass and caresses it before grabbing the ruler and spanking him with it which causes childe to moan n cum immediately.

“ur such a slutty masochist”

n childe groans n is like stuttering his words

“w-w-well ur so fucking sadis-“

n zhongli spanks him not with the ruler this time but his hand n childe jus looses it.

“ready to submit….?”

n childe tryna keep the ounce of pride he has left shakes his head.

“no!”

zhongli spanks him again.

“how abt now?”

“No!”

n so zhongli gets an idea n sticks his fingers inside childe’s mouth.

“suck”

childe does so n a minute later zhongli pulls them out.

“what are you gonna d- ahh!”

and zhongli’s fingers are wiggling around inside childe tryna get him prepared. childe has just completely lost it. he’s drooling all over the desk, moaning so loudly that if there was people here they would be able to hear, clinging onto the edge of the desk like his life is on the line.

“f-fuck zhongli…ahhh”

he’s a panting slutty mess. a fee mins later zhongli pulls his fingers out n takes off his own pants and boxers lining himself up to childes entrance. he inserts only the tip of his dick causing childe to go even more crazy if thats even possible n moan so fucking loud. but its been long enough. he wants more. more of zhongli inside him. he wants all. all of zhongli inside him. so he whimpers n cries out zhongli’s name.

“whats the problem sweetheart?”

zhongli says grinning from ear to ear.

“pls..”

childe says desperately

“pls what?”

”pls zhongli i-….”

“you…? gotta tell me what u want otherwise i wont know.”

“pls i want more of u….!!”

“beg for more than.”

“Zhongli pls i want ur cock inside me so bad. pls i’ll do anything!! just fuck me already!!”

“anything…?”

zhongli says slipping half way inside him.

“y-y-yes just pls fuck me!!”

n zhongli, a very satisfied man jus starts pounding into him hitting his g spot every time.

“Fuck! fuck! fuck! FUCK! ZHONGLI PLS SLOW DOWN AHH~!!”

n that only makes zhongli speed up and childe cums like multiple times. after a while, giving a few last thrusts zhongli comes for the second time inside childe. and pulls out while childe just drops to the floor completely unable to move or anything. jus a panting blushing hot slutty mess with zhongli’s cum dripping out of him. all pride lost. pulling his pants and boxers back on zhongli lifts him up to his feet and bc childe has no strength he just falls onto zhongli resting his head on his shoulder.

“now that you’ve completely submit to me, ur all mine~….mine to do whatever i pls with. mine and only mine. No one else….”

and childe jus nods groaning bc of the pain.

”i hope u learned ur lesson now. unless…. you wanna comeback again for another visit…”

n childe jus groans again.

“i see the way you look at me childe….a look filled with lust and desire…its really quite a turn on~….. you look so desperately….so needy….so vulnerable…the amount of times i wanted to bend you over and fuck u so hard until you cant walk is too much to count. i wanted to make you mine so no one else could have that innocent slutty little boy who’s just oozing with sexual desire. any man or woman would get turned on n wanna have there way with you. u needed to be protected and only by me.”

so zhongli grinds his teeth bc of how possessive he is.

“so no one but me can fuck u stupid. and now that ur finally mine…i dont have to worry abt it so much as before”

n so zhongli strokes childe’s hair n plants a kiss on his head.

“you’re my precious little play thing.”

and childe, burying his face into zhongli’s chest smiles bc thats all he ever wanted. and then he looks up at zhongli as zhongli looks down at him smiling.

“zhongli…?”

”yes?”

“if all u said was true….why were u such an asshole to me. you were stricter on me than others, ruder to me than others, tougher on me then others….so why?”

“why?”

zhongli chuckles n childe nods

“to keep a good reputation, but i also wanted to push you, everytime u got angry and gave me attitude it only turned me on. which is why i kept going….does that answer ur question?”

n childe grunts

“u sadistic fuck!”

n zhongli laughs

“says the one who got turned on every time i public humiliated or yelled at you….”

“thats not true!!”

“uh-huh…the sexual energy u admit would become stronger and i could hear your breathing getting heavier with breathy tiny moans and u would always part ur lips slightly and rub ur thighs together and on top of that, ur eyes squint ever so slightly.”

childe was speechless bc this whole time he thought he was being slick.

“w-w-well that doesnt matter!”

childe said huffing and zhongli only chuckled and kissed his head.

“hey childe…”

“what!”

“i love you….”

childe was blushing like crazy. never in a million years did he think zhongli would say that.

“you can’t just go randomly saying those things?!!”

childe said burying his face deeper into zhonglis chest.

“b-but i love you too i guess…”

he mumbled and zhongli smirked.

“look at me.”

childe looked up into zhonglis ambers eyes embarrassed asf.

“wh-wh-what is it?”

“you’re really cute yk.”

n zhongli leaned down slightly and kissed him before he could say anything else. the end :)

thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed even though its formatted weird and kinda sorta a story. 🥰