#you want me to believe two young people fell in such stupid fast love?

[ace-and-ranty]

Like, I think if I were trying to convince people Tony and Maria are totally actually really in love, I would have given them a shared dream.

Like. Anything. Really, anything at all. Just. Have them meet and find out that actually, wow, they are both hardcore passionate about sea turtles. In half an hour of conversation, they already have a name for the NGO they are gonna open to protect sea turtles. No one else can stomach listening to them go on about fucking turtles anymore, but put them together and they can’t stop talking about it.

Tell me you wouldn’t be crushed when Tony dies. Now the NGO is never going to be. Maria got all her hopes up, she finally found someone who understood her, and now it’s all gone to shit.

That I could buy.

[ashwhowrites]

Eddies ex made me sob it was so beautifully written like wow😭

But I had an idea imagine eddies ex but kind of flipped, hear me out. Eddie and reader use to date but they broke up because reader was forced to move leaving Eddie heartbroken and forced to forget about her, then 5 years later reader comes back to find Eddie is with her old best friend🫣But then long story short eddie and reader fall back in love.I dont know if any of that made sense but i think you would write this so well🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

Thank you sm!

And yeah I think I can definitely make this work. Hopefully it's what you were looking for

Reader and her old best friend are no longer friends! So no hard feelings when she snatches Eddie back

⚠️ it's going to hurt at first

Not proofread

Eddie fell in love once and only once. He fell fast, hard, and deep. They were young and they believed they'd be together forever. They would defeat all the odds people had against them. It was them against the world.

Her dad didn't like Eddie very much. He hated that Eddie occupied her mind. Corrupted his little girl and made her do things she never would have done.

They were each other's first everything. She kissed him underneath the stars on their first date. Lost their virginity to each other when they drove up to the beach when she ran away for the first time. Admitting how much they loved each other on his birthday as he played on his new guitar.

Eddie truly believed he was going to marry her. Had the ring picked out, the proposal spot ready. He got the courage to ask her dad for his blessing, he said no, vowing Eddie would never be good enough for his daughter. But Eddie didn't feel discouraged, he knew she loved him and she wanted to be with him.

But their fairy tale love came crashing down when she broke the news she had to move away. Her dad got a job in another state and she had no choice but to move with him. He remembers how she cried in his arms. Make up running down her cheeks. He remembers kissing her wet lips as he cried into her skin.

She promised to write letters. She promised to call. She promised she wouldn't forget him and she'd come back for him the second she could live on her own.

And he believed her

~~

It's been five years since she left and she broke all of her promises. He never got letters. He never got a phone call. And she never came back for him.

With a broken heart Eddie had to learn to pick up the pieces. Finding comfort in someone else's arms. He didn't want to move on but he couldn't let life pass as he prayed for the one who got away to come back.

It was stupid but he went after her old best friend. It was the only way he felt like Y/N was still around. Kai was the only thing Eddie had left of Y/N and he was desperate. Now he's been with Kai for two years, and he knew it wasn't love and he'd never love her. His heart would always rest at night in its home, no matter how far away Y/N was.

~~

Y/N took the deepest breath she could manage. Swallowing her nerves as she knocked on the familiar red door. The same red door she closed behind her when she had to leave Eddie for the first time.

She felt stupid standing here. She never received any answers to her letters, always being sent back. Her dad refused to have any phones in the house, refusing to let her call Eddie. But a promise is a promise, and she was ready to come back for him.

But the second the door opened and she saw the familiar brown eyes, she felt the tears welling in her eyes

"holy shit...Y/N?" He gasped out

There she stood, the love of his life on his doorstep. Crying as she flung herself in his arms. He wrapped his arms around her, inhaling her familiar scent.

"I did it. I did it for us! I bought an apartment nearby and everything. He can't keep us apart anymore" are explained, pulling away slightly to look up at his face

He felt his heart beating in his chest. His palms sweating as he held her hips. She was here again....she was here for him, for them. And he moved on

She didn't wait for him to say anything, smashing her lips onto his. Desperate clinging on to his body. Relief filling her as he kissed her back, hands cupping her jaw. She moaned as he kissed her harder, her hands moving into his hair as she tugged. Everything felt right and nothing hurt anymore.

Eddie pulled away, eyes staring back into hers. Silently holding each other. Overwhelmed with so much emotion she went to chase his lips again. Eddie watched as she closed her eyes, leaning in. She was inches away from his soft lips when he whispered,

"I have a girlfriend" he choked out

Her eyes snapped open, "what?"

"I...I'm in a relationship. For the last two years"

His body went ice cold as she quickly removed herself from him

"yeah of course. Sorry for that. I shouldn't have done that" she laughed, trying to ignore the sting in her heart

He could always read her. She was seconds away from bursting into tears. He went to reach for her again but she stepped back. He felt his heart drop in his stomach

"I'm sorry" he choked out. He felt like he was seconds away from crying himself

"no it's fine. It was honestly pretty pathetic of me to think it would be the same. I should go. Congratulations on the relationship. I'm happy for you" she choked out, nodding to herself as she spoke. A small tight smile as she turned around

"can we at least catch up?" He called after her

She nodded, handing him a piece of paper with her new address

With a heavy heart, she drove away.

~~

Eddie couldn't sleep that night. The image of her heartbroken face reminded him of when she was forced to leave. He tossed and turned. His eyes watched as Kai slept peacefully. His lips could feel the ghost of Y/N's pressing against his. Shivering as he felt her skin on his.

The girl he's been in love with since he was sixteen was in an apartment alone nearby. And he laid in bed with a girl who could never compare. But he also felt angry. She promised to sit to write letters, to call and she never did. He had every right to move on. He shouldn't feel guilty about it. But he did. He felt so fucking guilty.

~~

Y/N finished putting away her last box, checking the clock to see it was midnight. Realizing she should probably head to bed, she turned off the main lights and began to walk to her bedroom, stopping as there was pounding on her door.

She looked out the peephole to see Eddie on the other side.

She opened the door with a small smile

"hey what's up?"

"you never tried for me, or for us. You can't be mad I moved on when I waited for three years and got nothing" he was fuming. She can't make him feel guilty for this.

"Eddie, what in the hell are you talking about? You never answered my letters you sent them back! And I'm not mad at you for moving on. I knew there was a chance you'd be someone else's by the time I made it back" she confessed

"no what are you talking about? I never got letters, never got a phone call! You broke your promises. Of course I was going to move on. I had nothing to hold on to"

"I couldn't call because my dad refused to let me use a phone. I have boxes of letters to prove to you that I wrote constantly. I didn't break any promises because I tried! And good for you Eddie. I'm so happy you moved on. " She rolled her eyes. Did he have to keep rubbing that in her face?

"what like you never did?" He scoffed

"no Eddie I never did" she confessed as she shrugged her shoulders

"you what?" Relief filling his bones. It was selfish, to be so relieved she didn't move on but knowing his girlfriend is laying in his bed.

"I never moved on. I knew I was coming back for you so I never looked. I spent all my time working my ass off to afford leaving to come back here for you. You told me you'd wait for me. The real liar is you" she snapped

"I want to see the letters" he said, pushing through her door as he walked into her apartment. His mind needed to focus on something other than the fact she spent the last five years only thinking of him.

She walked to her bedroom, grabbing the box. His heavy body sitting on her bed as she planted it in his lap

"here. Five years worth of letters. Everything you sent straight back"

Eddie searched through the box closely. None of the letters looked familiar. There were hundreds and hundreds.

"I never got these" he mumbled out. Opening letter after letter. Dates written neatly in the corners

"stop lying. I get it you wanted to forget about me and move on" her voice week as she yanked the box out of his hands

"I'm not lying and that's not true. I think about you every single day. And I refused to forget you. I kept everything that you left behind. When I told you I was going to love you forever I meant it" he said softly, grabbing her hand and leading her into his lap

"I love you too. But you have a girlfriend and I shouldn't ruin that"

"ruin it. I don't care. Let's ruin it together. I want you and only you. I've been praying you'd show up at my door again and I'm not letting you leave again. We deserve to be together" his soft voice hitting her lips as he rested his forehead against hers

"I'm going to go home and talk with her. I'll be back tomorrow and it'll be just us. The way it was always supposed to be"

~~

Eddie spent the whole night fighting with Kai. Apparently she felt him leave and stayed up, fuming and waiting to snap the second he came back home.

A huge fight broke out and Eddie found out the truth. Kai was always jealous of Y/N. Wanting Eddie for herself but Y/N snatched him first.

Eddie also found out Kai was the one hiding the letters. Sending them back the same day they showed up. Eddie thought she came over every day as a friend to check up on him. Never knowing she was making sure he never once heard from Y/N.

Eddie didn't feel any pain when she slammed the door on her way out. Not caring even one bit that he just broke up with his girlfriend. All he cared about was Y/N and now he gets to spend his life with her.

Making sure the ring is in his pocket, he walked out the door.

Driving to her apartment

The question and the fate of their future on his tongue

And he couldn't wait

~~

Eddie knocked on her door in a hurry. His feet bouncing as he waited for her to open the door.

The second he saw her face, he swooped her in his arms and smashed his lips on hers. Moving into her house with his lips locked on hers. Closing the door with his foot as he pushed her into the wall across from the door. His tongue dipping into her mouth. He could feel his insides crying as his body was reminded of what she feels like. Trying to keep his knees from buckling as she kissed deeper. Her tongue wrestling with his as her hands held on his belt buckle. Yanking him closer and closer.

Once they were breathless, she pulled away. Gasping as she admired his mature looks. He was grown up and more handsome than ever.

"I love you so much" he said, kissing her lips softly

"I love you too" smiling as he kissed her over and over

"I need to ask you something crazy" he said with a deep breath

She nodded, slightly confused

He moved down to one knee, her hands covering her mouth as she gasped

"no way" she whispered

"yes way" he laughed

Pulling the ring out of his pocket

"Y/N, baby, I've been waiting every day for the past five years to ask you this, and I can't wait another second. Will you marry me?"

His brown eyes looking up at her as he opened the box

Her eyes never even looked down at the ring, lost in his eyes as she nodded fast

Sobbing into her hands as she stuck her hand out

Eddie cried silently as he slipped the ring on her finger. Kissing her deeply.

Eddie always knew he was going to marry her.

Tags!

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @slightlyvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @manyfandomsfanvergent @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming

[ariesmusingz]

૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა ╱ real talk sentence starters pt 1 ( created using lyrics from man overboard's real talk album. feel free to adjust to fit your muse. )

you could say one of two things

call me sometime or let's hang out

maybe i could help you out

stop acting like you'll ever see me again and like i don't have you figured out

i understand how it works

on paper, we're similar people

we're different people

you're tearing down the walls i built

tell your wrecking crew i welcome you

when the days slow down this summer don't forget

i did two years in your silhouette

your jaws of steel never forgave

it's haunting the way silence sounded

if i fucked up long ago, i'm sorry

i didn't realise it counted

it just wouldn't work out

that's what i'm telling myself

we're just two different people

it's eleven thirty at night

you're in your bed nice and tight

maybe you're dreaming of me

i am calling you

i am wishing you were here

i hope i didn't annoy you today

you answered anyway

i am hearing you

wishing i could feel you too

i miss her

i wanted to tell her

i spoke to myself in the mirror for a while tonight

i made a promise that i would never fuck up having you in my life

i think you're my favourite girl i've ever met

i bought a new notebook for the road

covered it with your area code

it's tattooed by the pen and i wish it was my home

i kinda hate everyone i know

lately i've been feeling so low

come get inside my bed

you make me feel dead by being out there in the unknown

just like a dream

she called me kinda late last night

said she knew everything

all those pretty little words came out

just like i planned she fell into my arms again

i could pretend that i would lie right here forever and wait for the end

you're right we should be together

tonight i could make it better if i just gave up on my stupid little fantasy world

you're right, that was a fake smile

you're right i am in denial

i should just go home to my perfect little fantasy girl

you're my fantasy girl

she crept back up inside my bed

said that she missed everything

all those words that made me fall came out

just like a trap, everything just fell right back

we were on tracck

i could lie with her all night now and wait to react

always turning out for the worst

you were always my most consistent curse

i hope this gets you kind of heated or stings a little if you even read it

bringing everyone down

you left this house feeling empty

it's better than feeling like it's burning to the ground

i can't live with you around anymore

you're blocking out the sound outside my door

i found more

i can't remember all the times that i almost had bruises for being on your side

now i hope that someone gets to you

see you around

you were alright back when we were young

you don't compare to anything that i've found

i wrote you down a letter before i went to sleep

it had all the secrets i could no longer keep

i held them in for so long i was going to break

maybe now i can rest and you will lay awake

i've been trying to escape but something keeps calling me

a feeling i can't shake

the darkness has swallowed me

i can't move fast enough to ditch what has followed me

lighting strikes everything that i touch

this is how it feels for me to be on my own

the sadness has cut me down to the bone

it's so bad

i don't think i'll make it home tonight

there's not enough light in your house that you could leave on for me tonight

there's not enough fights i could lose to justify how i feel tonight

if this would come true, i wonder what's really real tonight

if this makes any sense at all then push my back up against the wall

try calling your friends and asking what they have heard

you're looking for the gossip and hanging on every word

i'm not made

it's cute, it's actually absurd

i can't believe someone loves me so much

i've been failing every test and late for the makeup

left alone at your request as you do your make up

i know that i won't make this alright before it's over now tonight

i know that this won't be the last time i walk these streets

i hang my head

i wish i was dead

at my best, i'd suggest i've been weird since she left

it's normal autumn stuff

i guess i never thought enough

look at me

almost free from my crippling disease

shoot bullets through my foot

i think that'd work out real good

call me out

she's calling me out

i guess she didn't know better

she called me out

i guess that's why she's got her own man now

she's doing fine

she's got her own man now

what's she talking about>

at my best, put to test i'd score average or less

i can't apply myself

if i could just untie myself

she wants the yes's

gets the no's

before long there she goes

i guess she dug too deep

now she's just too bugged to sleep

you made yourself the guest of honor

the party got stopped and everybody just went home

[mirohtron]

Commitment issues hero X desperate Villain

their world was falling apart.

"you're a liar," whispered the villain.

the hero stared down at them. before they'd been coaxed into sleep, the fire had made the hero's brown eyes look warm and gentle and embracing. but that was back when they were pretending, when the villain believed the hero wouldn't leave, wouldn't dare think of leaving.

the hero looked utterly cold right now.

"i thought--i thought this was worth it," the villain went on. their throat felt tight. there was a void yawning open inside them, because nothing could've prepared them for this. for this hard outer shell to bounce back out when they'd tried to coax the hero out of it with aching patience. "you know how corrupt your people are." the villain took in a quivering breath. "you can't. we can be so great. please."

the hero's brow twitched. their gaze faltered. the villain went straight for it.

"you're so beautiful it hurts." i love you so much it hurts. "i want us so badly. please. listen to me."

"i'm listening." of course they were. the coward wouldn't even look them in the eye. "we can't go on."

the villain took in a short, shuddering breath like they'd been stabbed. then there was silence, and the hero's painful apology was echoing. but they didn't voice it. of course they didn't fucking voice it.

"you know how the stories go."

"this isn't a story," the villain said through teeth.

"i have to leave."

"you can stay!" it came out weaker than intended. the villain squeezed their eyes shut and felt weak tears roll down their face. everything spun around like a carousel going too fast.

everything burned. their heart ached with it. the hero had been so sweet just a couple hours back, what had changed? something the villain said? their hero's stupid brain said something?

the villain took in another quivering breath. they thought of holding on to the hero's jeans pathetically. as if that would do anything.

they always left. always. they'd been foolish enough to think that the hero would be different, but still. this one couldn't leave. they just couldn't. the two had gone through so much.

"i almost died for you," whispered the villain. "why are you leaving? i almost died for you! i would've died for you happily. i would've given myself away freely if it meant you could live on." but the hero had saved them. they'd taken care of them through their convalescence and handled their horrible parts with burning affection. "i'd kill for you--"

the hero snapped their gaze up. "i can't love you."

the villain stopped dead.

"i can't." the hero shook their head. "not someone like you. i--" their voice turned choking, then they swallowed hard. "you're relentless. your foundations are so... wrong. i can't love that."

the villain was dying. "you can't say that. you're lying. that's not true."

"it is."

"you can't say that," the villain repeated. "you kissed me." the hero kissed them as they fell asleep, god damn it. they heard them say it. they heard their whispered confession before they fell asleep. they heard it with their own ears. "you--were you always planning to leave me? is that why the soup tasted weird? you don't want me to get up and chase you relentlessly?"

the hero winced. the villain wanted to yell. to hit something. to punch some sense into the hero, but the one person they'd given themselves away to so freely had drugged them because they were too relentless. too determined.

"stay," said the villain. "please. just stay for a bit."

the hero shut their eyes. there was pain writ large on their features. it drove them mad. if it hurt so much, why leave? if they couldn't look them in the eye, why talk? why try to talk? why not just fucking leave and ignore the villain's calls begging them to come back?

the villain wanted to stand up. to hold the hero's face and make them look. for all their courage they looked so small and vulnerable. the villain felt young and insignificant, like they could do anything and it still wouldn't change the hero's mind one bit.

"please," they whispered.

the hero sat beside them. it didn't make them feel any better, it just made them realise they'd tired out the hero ridiculously quick. that they'd leave anyway. the villain stared into oblivion and felt as cold as though there really was no one with them.

the fire died slowly like the villain's dying heart, their dying world. freezing over like water.

"i know you so well," whispered the villain. "i know how you cry. how you laugh. i know how dearly you like plums."

the hero made no noise. in the wake of the villain's words, the silence paraphrased them, saying this: i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you.

their almost-lover waited till the drugs weakened them further. they put out the fire and wrapped the blanket around them tighter. they kissed the crown of their head and left with no apology. just a burning mark in the shape of their lips over the villain's mouth.

the villain didn't die, actually die. they were just left alone in a living body, dying in a different way.

[ellaelsinore]

I am three Mike's Hard Lemonades deep in my own despair, and I'm going to watch Red White and Royal blue for the third time. I've been trying to put my thoughts together on the movie which is almost impossible because the book is such a HUGE part of my soul. Maybe I'll have a coherent thought.

Right off the bat, fuck Phillip. I need someone to call him Pip and kick his ass.

Why is Bea the younger sister? The dynamic is changed so much for that, she is supposed to be the older sister that Henry takes care of because of her addiction.

WHERE IN THE GOOD GOD IS JUNE?!!? Alex does not play well as an only child, it makes him seem even more entitled and idiotic, he has no one to ground him, no one to tell him when he is being a complete asshole. Nora is great but she's also not Nora. She's some weird amalgamation of June and Nora and it makes me miss both of them.

Alex is too tall.

ALEX IS TOO TALL AND THEYRE TOO OLD. Seeing these two MEN trying to act like they are 20-somethings trying to find themselves and their places in this queer world that they are newly apart of, is awkward. This is not what 22 yo men look like, all broad shouldered and confident. Both of these boys need something to grow into, to have room to grow into themselves and each other, and when they look like 31 yo models who work out every day and don't have a blemish or an awkward bone in their body, it is so much less believable. I understand that Alex is supposed to be super charming, but you can be super charming and ALSO insecure and anxious. They're so one-dimensional it actually painful.

I love Henry's face. Excellent face acting from him, he's like the best of both of them. Subtle and understated but brilliant.

The cake scene sucks. It's boring, there's not enough people and NO ONE would have been able to get that close to Henry for that long. Also, I hope that is fake cake.

Bad Reputation is a little on the nose, don't you think?

ALEX IS TOO TALL.

Zarha is too friendly. I want him to think that she's going to kill him, he needs the fear of Zahra put into him.

Uma Thurman is a wonderful actor, she is not right for Ellen Claremont. There is no softness to her, very little affection, she seems unfocused on everything, which Ellen is not. Ellen is laser focused on winning the election. Or laser focused on her kids. I also am not sure who did her blocking because Ellen seems high, like all the time.

Love the Mitch McConnell joke.

I miss Cash. Amy is wonderful, but I miss Cash. I need their little conspiritory moments.

We need more of the boys being mean to each other. This is how they fell in love, the little quips, the jokes, the thinly veiled flirting. They're not mean enough to each other, not as biting. The relationship evolves so fast, we don't really get to see where they came from. What they were like together before, when they "hated" each other.

Alex is too tall and too hot. Henry looks like a human, Alex looks like the statue of David. Taylor is a wonderful actor, don't get me wrong but there are moments when Henry is supposed to be larger, broader, stronger than Alex, be able to wrap Alex in his body and they lose their impact when Henry has to look up to Alex. Half of the book Alex is angry that Henry is taller than he is, its actually a time when height does matter!

I love Shaan. I need more of him. I need MORE of the relationship between Henry and Shaan, Henry trusts him so much and we never see it.

Why not the Rio Olympics?

The banter on these two idiots, this is what I want to see from them, I want more of these two morons insulting each other.

SUPPLY CLOSET. The acting in this scene is actually impeccable. I believe them as real people. As stupid, moronic young men with baggage and feelings and private lives and misunderstandings.

I love Amy.

Henry when no one is looking is my favorite Henry.

There's something overly confident about Alex that is almost off-putting. He ACTS older, he acts with more life experience and doesn't have any vulnerability in the beginning.

SOMEONE PLEASE SAY FUCK.

Why are his parents not divorced? Are we trying to make the relationships more palatable to heteronormative society? Why are we taking that stressor and pressure off of the situation? People get divorced, people learn to work together after divorce to support their children and each other. Let the Claremont-Diaz's have that victory together.

Miguel is a fucking dick. The only out, gay character is a complete and utter slimy, smarmy, jackass who just wants to get into Alex's pants and get his story. He is gross and I for one do not like the implication of the only out and proud gay character being the one who fucks everything up. He is the only "role model" for Alex as a gay man and he is the fucking worst. He acts like all the straight men I have ever met in a bar. AND HE DOES NOT DESERVE TO SAY JACK SHIT ABOUT ALEX"S EYELASHES

I need all of the text messages. They are some of the best interactions in the entire book, the most honest, what is really going on in their heads, how they fell in love.

ITS ABOUT PATTERNS.

Turkey Gate. More desperation from Alex. A younger man's reaction. 30 yo men don't panic when a turkey gobbles. 22 yo men might, especially if they are drunk. I just want him to be younger. I feel terrible making those kinds of judgements because Taylor is a great actor. He does wonderfully for what he has been given and I can acknowledge that and enjoy his performance but I still want 22 yo vulnerable AGCD.

Who wears a polo to bed?

There's a softness to Henry's face that is missing from Alex's, a gentleness that makes you feel so sorry for him and the life he is forced into him.

Please don't sleep on top of your comforter.

This party is so much smaller than anticipated. I wonder if they couldn't get a large enough set or enough extras. There aren't enough bodies for 500 people, no one has taken off a jacket or their shoes. The couches are empty, the dance floor extends 10 feet.

I miss June.

Pez. Why are you not Pez.

Get Low brings back middle school dances. I do not care to elaborate.

The first time Alex looks young is drunk just after getting kissed by some girl and then realizing Henry is gone.

I cannot get past a 30 yo man acting stupid, drunk and oblivious. I'm 34, I have life experiences that make finding your friend outside in the snow less of a "did I do something wrong?" moment and more of a "get the fuck inside so we can talk about this" moment.

Thank you for the hair grab intimacy coordinator.

Nice touch with the text messages showing that Henry read them.

I think we need Liam to put some context into Alex's history with his sexuality.

Gay panic always sells.

"Shut up. Shut all the way the fuck up." Please someone say fuck.

That was not 5 minutes.

This interaction about Henry's erection and the 500 feet away instructions are the first time that their interactions feel human and like them, the two idiots in the first throes of love. (Probably because those instructions are right out of the book).

Henry literally just sucked Alex off and his hair isn't even messed up. His tie and shoes are still on. He's not even flushed or sweaty, what the fuck intimacy coordinator, I gave you credit for the hair pulling, lets get on this.

I appreciate Henry's nervous tick with his ring. I also think I just like his face.

(4th Mike's Hard, 1/2 a CBD gummie)

POLO POLO

Since I already watched the movie, I know what I am going to be mad about in this scene. The tack room sex scene in the book was the most awkward, rushed, messy, silly, glorious scene and they MONTAGED OVER IT. They took out all of the urgency, the time crunch the fact that Henry in leather boots does something for Alex. This is my favorite sex scene by far in the book. It's their first real, public tryst in the real world, outside the confines of the residence or the secret service. They could EASILY get caught. But they don't care, not enough to stop them from almost fucking on a table in a room that smells like horses and leather and sweat. This is the first time that the reader gets to see where we're headed, that we are looking down the barrel of two strong-willed idiots falling in love whether they want to or not. I think that is one of the things that the book really puts across that the movie is missing - the sheer urgency of everything that they have to do, the shortness of their time together, the lengths that have to be gone to for these morons to be together. It does not let up for a minute and it keeps you on the edge of your seat as they fall more in love and get more reckless and the world gets more complicated around them. Fuck, this movie is too clean.

Finally chinos.

They only look moderately fucked.

I miss the queen. I get that it might not be proper or whatever since she recently passed away but there's something taken away when it it not the queen mother, men are supposed to want to fix things and cover them up and make it all better. Having it be grandma, someone who stereotypically is nurturing and kind, makes it hurt all the more that she doesn't want to support her grandson, a man who is NOT in line for the throne, who is not using the crown's money, who just wants to live his life. It hurts so much.

The movie needs the pull of law school for Alex. He is so one dimensional, so focused on politics that there seem to be no other options for him, even though we know that Henry DOES NOT WANT THAT LIFE.

Again, there is a softness to Henry, to everything about him, that makes him more believable, more human. Why do I like his face?

Alex is so charming almost to the point of too much confidence. Like he can do anything. Without being nervous or anxious. I want to see the raw underside of that confidence.

Can Henry not wear a suit for a hot second? Him in sweatpants and soft pajamas is the sweetest part of getting to know Henry Fox, the man behind the royalty. I still feel like I know nothing about Henry and even less about Alex. We don't know his dreams, his fears, his aspirations, the LSAT scores in his desk, the constant running himself ragged to do everything and be everything. He's our main character and we get nothing.

The fact that Ellen doesn't get to make a PowerPoint means that we miss some of the BEST jokes in the slide titles.

Thank you for reiterating that the B is not silent in LGBTQ+.

You love him forever you stupid idiot.

Nice plug for Casey's most recent book, One Last Stop, which is INCREDIBLE.

Where are the kimonos? Why does Pez look normal?

I see them falling in love, but there is nothing like hearing it in Alex's own voice, in his own head.

The smile on Henry makes my heart melt.

If the only person in this whole movie who mentions Alex's eyelashes is MIGUEL, I will summarily LOSE MY COLLECTIVE SHIT again because I know that's what happens and I'm allowed to continue to be angry.

I can't watch Henry leave. There is so much pain in his eyes, it just breaks my goddamn heart. Except we don't need the view from Henry's side, Alex's mayhem is fueled by the not knowing and it is so much better when we find out right alongside Alex that Henry loves him, really and truly loves him in the way that might ruin his life.

Fuck you Pip.

A 30 yo man would not fly to London in the middle of the night. I'm sorry I want him to be younger.

I realize that I haven't said anything about Rafael Luna, BECAUSE HES NOT IN THE MOVIE, which is a damn travesty. Miguel being the gay role model and also the BBEG is not a good look for a movie about two boys falling in love.

There's my one fuck. Not in the most appropriate place but there it is.

The emotion from Henry for the first time, anger, almost despair, is probably the first raw thing I believe in this movie. The set of his jaw that matches Henry in the book. The pain in his eyes, raising his voice for the first time, in his silk bathrobe and no shoes, hits where it should. Potentially not as hard as it could have but it hits.

The idea of Henry not wanting that life, or trading the prison of royalty with the prison of politics is fascinating. For so long, the life he wanted was something he could never have. And now that he MIGHT be able to have a life, a real one, he has to struggle with the idea that he will still be in a prison of their own making. Still scrutinized at all turns, still trying to be what the world wants from him instead of who he is. He could no longer be a royal and he would still be under a microscope in the public eye.

"I would never call you a coward." Please kill me.

Collarbones and eyelashes.

Ugh, god, Alex making Henry tell him to leave is so romcom and I still love it.

I am not sold on the museum scene, it doesn't feel right. The weird choreography takes away from the reverence of the whole situation, the two of them being in the private world that Henry only wants to share with the person he loves, Alex. It feels scared in the book, the only thing in the world that Henry keeps to himself, the place where he can lay his heart bare. Its tropey in the movie. Its a set-piece not a secret.

Signet ring goes on the key chain "Two homes next to each other." And he gave him the key.

Gay people would not do this to each other, not for revenge, this is bullshit. I would much rather it be a political scandal than some gross bullshit to get revenge on the man who wouldn't sleep with him or give him a story. Give me the political scandal.

I wish we saw more of the emails, of the words and the quotes and the honesty. The impact of the emails is not stated enough in the movie because we DONT SEE THEM.

Zahra and Shann. Zahra and Shaan!

Lovesick puppy, gross. I feel like Zahra, put those two lovesick homosexuals on the phone so we can move on.

I know this is nitpicky, but why is Henry literally looking to the side while collapsing into his love on the steps? Who coordinated that? Someone in his situation, would have their face buried in their partner's shoulder as close to them as the possibly could be for safety and comfort.

Henry wins best actor in this movie. He's so spot on, he's so believable. Even his hands.

Stephen Frye is the king. Fuck you Pip. Stand up for yourself Henry, you deserve to be yourself whoever that is. You do it!

Your love is vulgar but no one says FUCK.

Alex: It's me. hi, I'm the problem, its me.

If you haven't seen Stephen Frye say "homosexual", you are not living.

Bea, you are so boring.

Henry gets all the good lines. Alex mostly looks pretty which is like not how Alex is portrayed in the book. He's quick witted and snarky, a little mean and a fucking nerd.

I hate that this is where this ends. I hate that jacket.

Overall, the movie was not the worst, but it certainly didn't stomp on my heart like the book did. It tells the story, at the cost of the heart of the book. It tones down the insanity, the desperation, the joy that the book weaves into this story. It's like the story is on low volume in the other room because you don't want to wake your partner at 3 am, the words are there sometimes, but you are missing all of the nuance. It hits all of the big points, but misses the depth of these characters. It misses all the things that make them human and flawed and interesting, all the bits that we want them to overcome and makes the reader want to root for them. Was it fine? Yes. Objectively, a cute, gay, rom com where being gay isn't the twist but learning to be yourself regardless is. Subjectively, disappointing. A gay man being the BBEG is a bold/terrible choice. This was not written by a gay person. And I want to touch on that, there are so many things that just scream "I am not queer". There is no way that a queer person is outing another queer person, two other queer people, on the literal world stage. Coming out is a hugely private and personal choice that some of us get to make and some of us don't but I cannot suspend my disbelief long enough to believe that another queer person would out someone like that. That is some straight people bullshit and it is fucking disrespectful to the others of an already marginalized community. Let politics be the bad guy, not the one other gay man. I miss Raf.

I'm gonna go read the book again.

[iwishiwasrichasfuck]

Hellooo, I'm going to tell you about the original character in my enhypen story so you have some background information and a little about myself while I'm at it 😊.

Her name is Esmeralda Adel. You can probably guess from the name that she isn't English or Korean, but in fact, Mexican and Arabic. I'm not Mexican, but I am Egyptian. I was always fascinated with Hispanic culture, so I decided to write a story where the mc is half half. I'll do my best research, but if there are any Mexicans out there, I welcome you. Pls help if you don't mind?

Her appearance and personality are based on me and the people I know. She's a med student, my sister is a med student. She has curly hair, me and my sister have curly hair. She's not very slender, but not very chubby, she has curves, like me. I have taken a long time to come to term with my body, because I always compared myself to thinner girls, who ate what they wanted and stayed like that. I envied their fast metabolism. I have come to terms with the fact that I need to work hard to be healthy, and even that maybe those girls I compared myself have problems too, that I'm not struggling alone. Now I am trying to become fit, so even if I'm not the thinnest, I'm healthy, because that's all that matters. I have a pretty thin waist compared to my hips but a heavy...cleavage, so you may think I'd be happy about it because it has been an "ideal figure" for women (which is stupid because all body types are beautiful 😤) but you won't believe how much I struggle to find clothes that complement me.

Anyways, I'm ranting, let's get back on track. She is smaller than enhypen (especially next to Niki because let's face it that dude's a giant) but not that small, she's actually 170cm, so my height. She is very generous, and very patient. She's really smart. Like really smart. She graduated school at 16 years old because she skipped the two grades when you learn out to read and count and basic math, she already knew it (her mother taught her). This is based on a friend of mine who actually did skip two grades when she was young. Um, what more.

She has the most random thoughts sometimes, like me. She's very pretty, and she knows she's attractive, so that makes her even hotter. She's pretty fit, and actually works out alot muscle mommy.

She's lived in both Egypt and Mexico for about four years each when she was young and came to France when she was ten. She has a great relationship with her mother. The two are very close, they're best friends and confidants, they tell each other anything. This is based on my relationship with my own mother. I love her more than anything. She's arabic (both of my parents are) but she isn't really like I've heard arabic parents are. She's cool with anything as long as I'm safe, happy and have good results scholarly. She's someone I can gossip with, and I've learned a lot from her. You can probably tell that I really admire her 😅. Esmeralda's father is also someone she gets along with great (but not as much as with her mom). Her parents divorced when she was in middle school, but they did so on good terms. They fell out of love and decided it was best to separate. They get along, and Esmeralda's mom actually loves her ex's new wife, the two are good friends!

Also, if Esmeralda seems unrealistic because she doesn't seem to have any bad sides, then you're both right and wrong. She's learned what to do and how to act through trial and error. She was raised right, and has had an excellent role model that encouraged healthy habits (mental or physical), so she wasn't "perfect" from the bat, her personality right now is a product of her past environment and the people she frequented or knew. She also has a few bad habits. She stays up all night and has trouble accepting help, she has trouble relieving stress and tends to push away people when she's sad or angry. She's working on it though! And growing up she's always wanted to make her mother proud, so she worked hard and tried to learn as many things as possible. Her mother loves her and is proud of her of course, but now Esmeralda thinks that if she fails to do something then she will lower her mother's image of her (which isn't true, but is a product of always trying to be better than her past self): she's an overacheiver. She happens to be extremely petty 😅

But she is also a projection of how I wish to be. She is the person I long to become in the future, and I decided that if I can't write about a perfect character in fiction, where am I going to do that? That's what fanfictions and fiction stories are made for! So there you go, a bit about me and and my character. ;)

(Ps: I hope the followers I have are excited for my first fic!)

[halyconicabditory]

P2: Names and Writing

Jackson? Here. Jamie? Here. Jessica? uh, Jess uh Jocelyn? um, I'm sorry is it, Jess.. e .. lyn? My cheeks fill with heat and I can tell they're getting redder by the millisecond. I raise my hand, my throat feels clogged, and I clear it. "It's Jess. You can call me Jess, It's easier." I slouch down trying to melt with the chair, unnoticeable by those who surround me. What a stupid name I think to myself, I wish it was easier. Embarrassment lingers in my head, and it will repeat at least three more times with a different teacher with the same butchered pronunciation this semester, and again for the rest of my life. However, That’s now, Let’s go back a few years.

On an archipelago, 180 degrees from where I was born, was my mother in 1997, 6 years before I was born. She was always smart and she always thought outside of the box. On her normal nine-to-five Monday through Friday work day, she headed to her office. Respected, well-known, and hard-working. She didn’t need another job, but she thought about her future. She wanted a place of her own, a house for herself, her soon-to-be husband, a few kids, and many dogs. She knew there would be an easier way to obtain a good house, at least from the inside. She called a familiar friend to get her foot in the door, and on her lunch breaks, she would read real estate books here and there. And just like that, she was ready to sell her first house. Give and take a few real estate legalities, there were no strings attached. Just a prominent woman and free weekends, she was ready for her first open house. Weeks went by, no buyers, but she didn’t give up. She was persistent. One day a lady came in with her young daughter, with a name my mom had never heard before. Jesselyn. “It's french,” said the lady. “It means hard-working and successful woman” My mom fell in love with the name. It was unique, it captured what my mother wanted her future to be, similar to her, hard-working. She had a good feeling, maybe it was the name, maybe it was her commitment to her dream, but she sold her first house, to an unsuspecting woman, and her daughter, Jesselyn (JESS Lean) . Two houses later, a broken-off engagement and a one-way ticket to America, my mother arrived in New York in 2001. Fast forward a year later the feeling she had when she sold her first house lingered back to when she met my father. 14 months later, adamant about choosing the name of her firstborn daughter, I was born.

In a predominately white suburb of New York City, just 45 minutes north was an elementary school packed with eager 4 and 5-year-olds embarking on the start of their educational lives. A chorus of “Hi’s”, “Hello’s” and “I like your spiderman backpack” echoed through a colorful classroom. “What’s your name?” asked an eager 5-year-old boy named Tommy, knuckles deep in his nose. “I think her name is Jesselyn,” said our kindergarten teacher in an elongated and heavy vowel-toned voice. “Are you ok with Jess?” Bright-eyed, eager 4-year-old me went along with it. I didn’t want any trouble, I was four! Sheepishly, I believed I had to agree. For the rest of my primary and secondary school years, I went by the nickname “Jess”. Hiding the latter of my name, hiding also the uniqueness that went along with it. For 13 Years I lived through the facade of “Jess”. A normal, all-American name, for a normal, all-American girl. People I’ve never met insist they know the true way of pronouncing my name, even including my dad, who pronounces it as “Jess uh lin”. Butchering the accent with their American tongue, convincing me to even doubt my mother, who gave me the name. I have never met anyone with the same name as me. Never, until I walked into my french class on a Friday morning at 9:05 am. I took my seat and the professor walked in and jumped right into attendance. “Jesselyn?” “Here,” I said in unison with the girl sitting directly to my right. We both laugh and look at each other. “Oh my god,” we speak at the same time again. The professor continues on as we reside in our own small talk. “Have you ever met anyone with the same name?” “No.” wow. It was too good to be true. I asked her “How do you spell your name?” She responds. Perfectly announcing each letter until she skips the second E and goes straight to the L. “J E S S L Y N” aha! Not quite the same, unique on its own as well. We bond over shared experiences of mispronunciation and awkward roll call happenings. I haven’t spoken to her since the first day of class. Maybe the interrelation was too weird. Maybe we wanted to be our own as we have our entire life. A friendly wave and hello here and there, but never in-depth as our first encounter. 

The experience I have with the name goes deeper than I realized. It was not just an uneasiness with myself. It turned out to be some weird internalized racism I felt towards my mother, and who I was. Angry at why she had chosed such an obscure, nonconforming name. I did not blend in. It made me stuck out. No one besides my mother and her family and friends could pronounce it correctly. Oblivious to my own inner racist tendencies, going along with my father and my American friends, mimicking my mothers accent when she yells my name. I am older and I do regret it. I have a deeper understanding. My name might be weird, but I was born here, I speak a universal language, I fit in with or without using my full name. My mother, who worked endlessly and started a new life in a new country is who experiences this endless racism. Born as Indahwati (In - duh - wat - tee) in her country, she was also given the name Aylie ( I - Lee) , as her Chinese name. Before ever stepping foot on American soil she went by Indah (In - duh), Indahwati and Aylie. Beautiful names that I adore. While starting her new life she was forced to adapt and start a new american name. Ellie (El - lee). No one would ever dare to even pronounce Indahwati, and Aylie was too confusing. She took her name Aylie, and changed it to Ellie. Hearing my father refer to my mother as Ellie has made me sad recently. The lack of respect or courtesy to attempt to say her name, choosing the easy way out.  Researching the origins of my name has led me to a deep dive that not only exposed the importance of my name but also the importance of self worth, character and psychological impact it has had on me and my mother as well.

I don’t know why I’ve always been ashamed of my name. It eases over as time goes on and I learn more about myself and being able to be comfortable in my own skin and what I would respond to when the call of my name is being said out loud. I can not help but wonder if maybe under different circumstances regarding where I was born and where I grew up If I wouldn't be taught to be disappointed and to hide my name.

[sukirichi]

acquainted

You had no intentions of becoming acquainted with the clan your family had cut ties with, but when Naoya Zenin himself is willing to teach you a lesson and you’re determined to show him what you’re capable of, it becomes a silly game of power and dominance.

REQUEST. naoya putting reader back to her place

WARNINGS: Naoya Zenin, rough sex, orgasm denial, face fucking, slight voyeurism, degradation, slight bondage, cowgirl riding, manhandling, spanking, hate sex

WC. 5.4k+

NOTES. Because Naoya is my favorite, his fic is the only one I’ve ever edited, LOL. Even though this is requested, this is written out of self-indulgence, purely because I love Naoya and even though he’s nasty, he’s my comfort character. And freaking FINALLY I have written more for this man. I worship this King 👑

There were so many ways this day had gone wrong. First, your shower broke. Second, the maintenance men couldn’t come until late in the afternoon, so you had to drive all the way to school looking like a half-mess. You weren’t a slob, of course, but you were beyond irritable at the thought your hair felt greasier than most.

So when an unfamiliar mop of blonde hair sat at your place, the sight of pierced ears meeting your gaze as you smiled at the young man, you had to clutch your bag tighter. No need to be harsh to anyone; you reminded yourself.

“Hi,” you greeted as politely as you could.

The young man in your seat was handsome — terribly so — feline eyes emphasized with an eyeliner, and stunning green eyes that peered up at you with utmost boredom. He looked familiar, but you couldn’t pinpoint where you’d seen him before.

“I believe you’re in my seat.”

You expected he’d kindly take another seat since the hall was empty, but he only leaned back in your seat, brow raised with a slight smirk. “So?”

Your mouth fell agape, hands falling at your sides. Who was this guy? “What do you mean, so? Get the fuck out of my seat.”

“Women,” he rolled his eyes, “Always so tempered and dirty mouthed,” the words felt like stinging slap in your face, and he easily read through you when he snickered to himself, waving a hand in the air as if he was swatting a fly away. “I’m already sitting here, so go find someplace else. I came here first.”

“You little — who do you think you are?”

“Who do you think you are for speaking to me? Did I give you permission?”

His condescending voice made you lunge at him if not for your friend’s hand wrapping at your arm, shooting worried glances over the guy. His smirk deepened when your friend pulled away, the words mutter under her breath. “Come on, let’s go,” she tugged you away despite your protests, pushing your shoulders down to make you sit. Once out of earshot, she rolled her eyes. “I seriously hate that guy. Don’t you ever involve yourself with him.”

“Who’s that prick anyway? He acts so high and mighty like he’s some rich daddy’s son. Look, he’s totally claiming my seat as his!”

“That’s Naoya Zenin, and yeah, he is some rich daddy’s son,” she confirmed, shivering at the mere mention of his name. “He’s an absolutely big misogynist. Don’t be fooled by his pretty face — he’s the worst fuckboy to ever exist. That dick of his isn’t worth getting fucked over. He’s already made half the women in school cry and run after him like a horde of lovesick zombies,” your friend gagged with a shake of her head, “It’s terrifying, actually.”

“Fucking asshole,” you hissed under your breath, sending side glances at the corner of your eye.

That stupid guy was still in your seat, a bored expression on his handsome face, his long lashes fluttering against his cheeks at every blink. He just had to be a sexist pig with that gorgeous face — no good men existed anymore. “Whatever. He’ll get a taste of his own medicine soon.”

“Whatever it is you’re planning, I wouldn’t recommend it.”

“I’m doing this for all of us,” you announced with your spine straightened. “I’m not letting a man walk like that acting like he’s got the whole world at his feet. I’ll teach him a lesson or two.”

“You do know he can sue you if you punch him right?”

“Who said I was going to punch him?” a smirk painted your lips at the same time he felt your eyes burning holes at the side of his face, your expression even more triumphant when he tilted his head to the side, eyebrow cocked at your gaze. He must’ve assumed you’d fallen for his looks judging by the satisfied smile on his face, making you laugh because it would be fun to teach him a lesson.  “No, I have a much more interesting plan in mind.”

It turned out that Naoya wasn’t that much of a stranger.

You had his reputation to thank for — people spoke his name left and right that it was nearly impossible not to know of him. It had you wondering how you managed to live through university so long without knowing him when the name drowned you; he was a Zenin.

No wonder that name was so familiar.

The Zenin’s were a close business partner of your family, but they cut off ties with their company years ago due to them having an intolerable attitude. Clearly, it ran in the blood, and their heir manifested it so well.

Thoughts of Naoya and his stupid face were soon drowned out by expensive champagne, the golden liquid sparkling in your hands. You had to attend this dinner gala where businessmen and powerful families alike conjoined for a formal opportunity of forming connections and solidifying deals, pressuring you to be at your best behaviour lest you wanted your black card to be cut off.

You made your way through the crowd to get another one of those hors d oeuvres, opting to just sit in the corner while you watched your family plaster on big, fake smiles with even louder, faker laughter.

It was quite sad, really, that people had to do stuff like this, but who were you to complain when it was what fed you on a silver plate all the time?

For now, you just wanted to enjoy the new dress your mother had gotten you, the silk black material hugged around your curves delectably. Pearl drop earrings hung to frame the sides of your face, legs lengthened and accentuated with stiletto heels.

You felt sexy — especially when you got lingering gazes from men who were slightly older and definitely richer, though you made no move.

The last thing you wanted was to become someone’s trophy wife when you could become so much more.  Plus, only your parents had the task of befriending people and building trust with others. You were only here to help represent the name somewhat with your pretty face, not really having much of an intention to be acquainted with anyone.

You swiped another glass of fizzy alcohol from the waiter that passed by, glossy red lips pinched around the glass when a sultry voice mused at your ear, “Still can’t find a seat?”

Swirling around so fast that the contents nearly poured out the glass, you weren’t surprised to see Naoya fucking Zenin stood before you, his tall stature draped in only the finest and hand-stitched three piece suit.

He looked absolutely delectable this way, earrings glimmering under the golden chandeliers and eyes lined with kohl, the aura of elegance that perfectly concealed his less than pleasing personality excessively charming.

You were beyond appalled.

“Still can’t find a brain?” you retorted with a roll of your eyes, eyes still narrowed at Naoya’s displeased ones as you dunk your drink in one go. “What are you doing here, pig?”

“I’ll let that comment slide once — only because you look hot tonight,” his predatory gaze ran over your form, the careful pattern of him pausing at the swell of your breasts sliding to the curve of your hips heating up each inch of your skin. “And it’s Naoya for you. Naoya Zenin, the rightful heir of the Zenin Corp—”

“What’s that scent you’re wearing? Baby powder? Fitting for your cute face, actually.”

Naoya’s jaw clenched, clearly unaccustomed to people cutting off his holiness, and you had to bite down on your lip to prevent the chuckles from slipping through. “It’s Tom Ford.”

“Hmm, why am I not surprised? My horrible ex also wore the same scent. Maybe it’s a trademark for all limp losers, huh?” Naoya opened his mouth to speak, but you beat him to it, stepping forward to grab at the space between his tie to pull him down. His face was mere centimetres away from you, close enough that his breath ghosted over your lips, the intense anger flaring through those eyes hot enough to burn you. “You act so smug and defensive, Naoya. Trying to have a big man personality to conceal a small dick?”

“I have nothing to prove to you.”

“You don’t need to prove me anything,” you glanced down at his pants with a smirk, ignoring the heat pulsing in your veins because the sight contradicted your words. There was a noticeable bulge inside those shiny black slacks, though the last thing you wanted him to see was the way your mouth watered in anticipation. “I already know what I need to know.”

“Yeah? You and your shitty girlfriends can’t stop talking about my dick?”

You shrugged sarcastically, “You know women. We’re tireless complainers.”

Naoya’s jaw ticked upon you using his words against him, his hands coming up to caress at your neck, his nails scratching behind the thick silver chain you wore.

From afar and in the eyes of others, people would’ve thought you and Naoya were simply getting a little too heated, his lips dipped to graze your ear while his slender fingers pressed a little tighter into your air pipe. Your positions could easily be mistaken for Naoya seducing you, and you supposed he was, since your body responded differently from your verbal protests.

“You should watch what you’re saying,” he warned, voice low with warning. “I could easily dump your body into a river and no one would even notice. In fact, maybe the world might even thank me for doing them a service and ridding them of a spiteful woman like you.”

“Oh, pretty boy,” you chuckled back and stood to your tippy toes. One of your hands wrapped around his neck to forcefully tilt his neck to yours, nose pressed above his collar to inhale the intoxicating masculine scent he wore. “You’re all bark and no bite. Why don’t you show me what you’re capable of? If you’re as awful as they make you out to be, maybe I’ll shiver enough to drop my panties for you.”

You didn’t miss the way Naoya’s hands gripped at your waist to pull you close, enticing you to continue with your insults because maybe Naoya liked this a lot more than he let on. Could it be his superiority complex didn’t always like submissive women, after all?

Well, it would make sense; everyone always liked a little challenge, didn’t they?

If that was what he wanted, then you’d be generous enough to grant it to him.

“Wouldn’t you like to get a chance to put me in my place, to teach me a lesson for defiling the oh-so-mighty Naoya Zenin?” you purposefully toned your voice down to a more breathy tone, your chest swelling with pride when Naoya sucked in a sharp inhale beside your ear.

God, he sounded beautiful — and you hadn’t even fucked him yet. Now, you were eager to hear what else those disgusting lips could be capable of other than degrading you.  

Pulling away from him just to bat your lashes at him, heat pooled straight into your core when Naoya’s gaze had completely darkened, dark orbs pooled with lust and anger. Only he could make such an expression look so good.

“You don’t scare me, Zenin. You’re nothing but a small boy wearing big man pants.”

For a moment, your smile widened, believing that you’d won this time around. Naoya was still breathing hard at each brush of your stomach to his now hardening erection, but then he smirked and gently pushed you away from him. “I’m not fucking you here,” he stated calmly, not even bothering to keep his voice low. “You’re a lot dumber than I thought you’d be if you really think I’m whipping my cock out during this dreadful dinner.”

“This dreadful dinner you speak of is an opportunity for people like us to establish connections. I would’ve assumed you wanted nothing more to impress others but it seems I was wrong. If you hate this event so much, why bother coming here in the first place?”

“Just had a feeling I was going to meet a little minx,” he watched you seductively, his smirk adorned with his tongue peeking out to lick his lips — in turn wetting you in places he promised to make his by the end of the night. Curse him, you chanted in your head, curse him for being so attractive. It would’ve been easier if he was ugly. “And as always, I’m right.”

You tilted a brow, slightly impressed. “So you’ve done your background check on me. That doesn’t explain why you’re still here though. Surely a woman couldn’t be enough for a reason to make a man like you go all this way?”

“You’re right, a woman would never be a good enough reason, but I wanted to put you in your place,” his eyes flickered back up to you, now twinkling with danger and something else entirely. “Bad little girls need to be a taught to a lesson.”

“So what’re you waiting for? Go ahead and show me your ways, Zenin.”

“I will,” he nodded to himself, “I’m about to,” Naoya was nothing but confident as he strode your way until his arms was locked with yours, his breath tickling your collarbones that had unknowingly exposed itself at each heated touch. “You’re not that bad for a slut. You look like one, smell like one — I bet you also feel like one.”

A dry laugh left your lips as you fisted his shirt, mirroring his smirk to show that if a match was what he looked for, then a match he’d find indeed. Only this time, you would be worse.

“Why don’t you go ahead and find out?”

Naoya, despite being an absolutely poor excuse of a human being, was somewhat redeemable for being a man of his words. Find out he did, and he wasted no time into shoving you inside his McLaren, barely able to keep his hands off you the whole way up to his penthouse.

It was a blurry mess from there.

Moans spilled from your lips while he ripped your clothes off, not bothering to apologize that he’d just ruined one of your most prized possessions, his lust-clouded haze mumbling that he’d just buy you another one.

It was the last thing you expected to hear from him, but you couldn’t protest, not when he’d angrily snapped the buttons of his shirt away, a low growl mixing with your breathy whines as he loosened his tie.

Your eyes widened at the sight, legs rubbing together as you imagined what else he could do with that pretty tie of his.

Would he tie you to his bed, fuck you stupid and call you useless? Or perhaps, you could do it?

Naoya cut off your train of thought by pushing you back to his mattress, his hands tugging at his belt before he pulled his boxers down, his thick length slapping at his abdomen. Your mouth immediately watered at the sight. You were beyond wet from nothing but your sloppy make-out sessions, but would he fit?

Just the thought of him giving you that burning stretch made your legs spread beside his sides, the sardonic laughter ripping from Naoya’s lips absolutely disgusting.

“Fucking pathetic. You’re just like everyone else; submitting to me at the sight of my cock, but that’s not true, is it? Moment you saw me, I knew you were clenching around nothing,” he gripped at your jaw to force you to look at him. You glared up at him from his bruising hold, your cheeks squished under his rough hands. “But that’s okay; wanting me is not something you should be ashamed about. Although you should be thanking me I’m even letting you near me like this.”

“I’m so honoured. Come on, Naoya, let me feel you — let me make you feel good.”

Naoya, too lost in his ego, missed the sarcasm dripping in your voice. “So eager to be my cock sleeve, huh?” he grinned, tugging at your hair to push you deeper into his mattress.  “Get on your knees. Now suck.”

He was too harsh in his pace, determined to exert his dominance over you. You could feel every ridge of his vein as he continued fucking into your mouth, his abs rippling above you. It felt like witnessing a Greek god come apart, and you took pleasure in being his ruin, prompting you to hollow your cheeks and bob your mouth up and down on his cock harder.

Naoya’s chuckles were broken and often mixed with curses of fuck, you feel so fucking good, his nails now scratching at your scalp.

Soon, Naoya stilled inside you, his hold around your head deadly to keep you in place. Tears flowed down your face as he kept thrusting inside, making sure to hit the back of your throat before his muscles tightened. Spurts of warm cum followed after that, but instead of swallowing it like you expected he’d command you to do, Naoya whipped out his cock and came all over your face, his seed shooting all over your cheeks and lips.

You took it all obediently, just enough to give him the false pretense of submissiveness that he was so willing to force from you.

While he was occupied pumping his still rock hard cock, eyes closed and massaging your scalp almost soothingly, Naoya failed to notice your hurried movements of standing from the bed, fingers looped around his tie.

A small wail resonated from him when you shoved him down onto the bed, knees locked at either sides of his waist before you tugged at the cloth wrapped around his neck. Naoya kicked his legs behind you as you tied his wrists to the bed hard enough that Naoya winced, the tie only forming tighter at each lame grapple of his.

You looked back at how he got more beautiful laid out in front of you like that, chest heaving up and down while he struggled against the restraints, face flushed with anger — no, this wasn’t anger anymore — he was furious.

“What are you doing?! Get this off me — how dare you!”

“How dare you,” you spat back, discarding your lace bra off to wipe his cum away from your face, gagging when the bitter cum left a tang on your lips. “I just got my skin appointment last week and you came on my face like that?”

Naoya kept fighting back before he realised it was a futile attempt, leaning back down onto the pillows, though that didn’t soften his heated eyes on yours. You cooed at how adorable he submitted to you, running a finger down the sides of his jaw. “Aw, don’t look so angry, baby. I’m just starting my fun,” you purred, “You should’ve known better than to mess with me, Naoya. I’m not as nice as the others. And I’ll show you just how awful I can be.”

Naoya’s breath hitched when you shimmied out of your underwear, a dark glint in your eyes as you stretched the elastic into a fake arrow until it snapped into his face.

“You fucking bitch,” he growled, turning his face away from your panties soaked with arousal. “Once I get out of here, I will ruin you.”

“Huh, yeah, sure,” you mumbled incoherently, too lost in the pleasure as you sunk down on his cock. You were right, he was fucking thick, stretching you out better than any of your toys could. Plus, he was warm and leaking with pre-cum that he slid in easily, erotic groans leaving both your mouths once he was finally seated inside you.

Naoya was growling at you to let go of him when you laughed, lifting your hips up slowly before sliding back down on him just as slow, almost as if you made love to his cock the same passionate way you did with a lover. “You do have a wonderful cock, though. I’ve never felt this good in my life,” you leaned down to lick a stripe down to his neck, allowing him to hear the needy pants you graced with him. “You feel so good, Naoya, oh. If you weren’t such an asshole, I might even fall in love with you.”

“Go faster. This is unfair!”

Naoya tried thrusting deep into you, evidently unsatisfied at this torturous pace you set, but you only gripped at his thigh in warning, your eyes no longer sweet as you glared at him.

“Nothing’s ever fair in this world, sweetheart,” you reminded him, shivering every now and then as you bounced on his cock, his length slipping past through your walls magically. “Like how such a gorgeous face and amazing dick is paired with the most disgusting personality ever. No, it’s not fair, indeed...”

You closed your eyes with your head thrown back, placing your hips flat on his pelvic bone instead, fingers rubbing at your clit while Naoya throbbed inside you, desperate for release.

The little whines you gave were nothing but mocking. You knew that Naoya suffered through this position, but did you care? Absolutely not. With Naoya’s cock stretching you full and his tip kissing your most sensitive spots, in addition to your fingers rubbing and tweaking at your clit, this was the most pleasure you’d ever gotten from sex.

You were stimulated everywhere, your other hand reached up to tug at your hardened nipples.

Your walls clenched around him, signalling him that you were close and you let out a broken moan, falling forward to gyrate your hips around his cock to push you over the edge. It wasn’t enough to get him off since you were mostly still fondling with your clit, the sounds of your moans like torture to his ears.

“No, don’t you dare cum, I swear if you—” Your orgasm washed over you comfortingly like a warm blanket. Instead of seeing white, it was like your vision cleared, the sight of the sweat that made Naoya’s hair stick to his forehead in clumps crystal clear. You prolonged your orgasm by thrusting your hips in a sickening rhythm of thrust, pause, thrust, stop ­— and by then Naoya was losing his mind.

Naoya lost control as he snapped his hips upwards inside you hard enough that you winced in pain, pushing off his dick until he’s left humping the empty air, his body drenched with perspiration. “No, no, no, fuck you! Get back here you useless slut!”

You lay beside him, giggling in post-orgasm bliss. Just to tease him, you rolled to his side to press a kiss to his cheek, laughing harder when your lips came in contact with his flushed skin.

“You’re so adorable like this,” you cupped his face tenderly, perfectly aware that Naoya had begun to growl, his wrists almost bruised from how hard he brawled against his tie. “If I didn’t hate you so much, I would’ve let you cum inside me,” you offered with a pat to his chest, moving off the bed with wobbly legs.

“Well, whatever, that was fun. I would say we both had the most sensual sex of our lives, but that would be a joke for you, don’t you think?” you snorted as you inserted your arms to his discarded suit jacket.

Naoya stayed still on the bed, his cock still painfully hard and slick with your cum. “Don’t look so angry, Naoya. You had it coming for you. Don’t worry, though, as a thanks for letting me cum that hard — though I mostly did all the work — I’ll keep this between us so you at least get to keep whatever’s left of your dignity,” you blew a kiss his way, “Bye, sweetie. At least now I know people weren’t exaggerating when they called you a good fuck.”

Not bothering to slip your heels back on, you looped your shoes into the curls of your fingers, about to button Naoya’s jacket as you made your way to his door.

You never got halfway across the room when strong arms suddenly lifted you off the ground, your vision transitioning from his door to the pads of his feet, your body slung across his shoulder. Naoya gripped at your ass in warning when you kicked your legs, leaving him with no choice but to hug your thighs with one arm.

The next thing you knew, he slammed the balcony doors open with one hand and slammed you on the pool table. His rough hands yanked his jacket away from your body, the chilly night of the air bringing a shiver down your spine as it hit your drenched core.

Naoya had pinned your arms flat on your back in a painful angle, making you cry out just as he kneed your legs open, his free hand that wasn’t pinning you down aligning his cock against your hole. You were a moaning mess underneath him, the pain only an intoxicating addition to the pleasure he was pounding into you. Naoya then leaned to whisper your ear, the sudden movement making his cock slide deeper into you, the pleasure overwhelming.

“Oh, Naoya, fuck—”

“I am not just a good fuck,” he corrected you, “I am Naoya Zenin — and you will do well being silent and submissive while I fuck you, do you understand?” You were too lost in the feeling of him rutting deep into you that he had you seeing white this time around. When you didn’t answer, Naoya slapped your ass, your yelps echoing from the dead night. “I asked you a question.”

“No,” you bit back, “I refuse to—” you were silenced when Naoya hit your sweet spot, laughing at your state that you were too fucked out to give him a proper answer.

Naoya’s pace was merciless as he fucked deeper into you, the hand on your ass moving up to grab at your waist to keep slamming you back to his cock. He watched as your lips sucked him in so tight that he didn’t know whether you were pushing him out or refusing to let go. Turning your head to the side to gasp for air, you opened your eyes, only to be met by the sight of men crowding on the building across yours to witness your undoing by Naoya’s hands.

“I’ve barely started and you’re already so wet for me,” he mocked in your ear. As if on cue, squelching sounds accompanied your desperate moans, hands grabbing at nothing in particular. “Shall I try upping my speed?”

“N-Naoya- there are people looking.”

“Let them see,” he seethed, using one arm to lift your other leg up to the table to gain him more access into your warm, wet cavern. The sudden stretch made your muscles ache until you lay there limp; jaw clenched at the pleasure Naoya drowned you with. “Let them know how much I’m making this pussy mine. Gosh, can you hear yourself? You sound like a dirty fucking slut,” another slap landed on your ass, hard enough to leave a mark there for tomorrow. “You claim to hate me, so then why are you dripping all over me, huh? Pathetic whore. You women are nothing but cum dumps to me.”

Naoya spread your butt cheeks open, laughing at the silly way you clenched around him every time he pulled out, your puffy lips sucking him back again until Naoya buried himself to the hilt. His dick did wonders in letting out the most erotic whines and whimpers you never thought you’d be capable of, leaving you a drooling and panting mess under him.

“You little fucker, don’t even think about cumming inside me, I will literally castrate you and feed your balls to yourself.”

“Such a dirty mouth. Though that’s expected of a nasty woman like you,” he sassed, his thrusts faltering while his hand clenched your flesh tighter. That was enough to send you over the edge when Naoya slammed his hips harder and more desperately this time around, his cock twitching against your walls. “You wish I would cum inside you. But I have a better plan in mind.”

All it took was one rough hand for him to pull you before him, pushing you down into your knees again as he came inside your mouth. You could feel your cum and his dripping onto his dark marble tiles, the white pool of liquid shining.

Naoya thrusted lazily into your mouth, a sickening grin on his face while he kept you down there. His glare deepened when you tried to pull away from him. “Swallow, you slut. Or I’m fucking your face until I break your jaw.”

Furiously, you swallowed around his cock, Naoya groaning at the feeling of your walls convulsing around him. The moment you gagged from when his tip poked the back of your throat, Naoya pushed you off him until you were left choking on the ground. You gasped for air, hands clasped around your neck, sure that you were going to have a sore jaw and a fucked throat tomorrow.

You kept glaring at Naoya, but this didn’t deter him from gripping your chin down, humming to himself upon seeing that his cum was now gone in your mouth. “Hmm, so you did swallow it like a good girl. I’m glad I’ve disciplined you well.”

“Go to hell.”

“I’m King there already, baby,” Before you could retort, his arms encircled your waist until you were heaved in his arms again. You pounded against his back because you were too done, you couldn’t do another round. Naoya sighed as he threw you in the bed as if you were a ragdoll, disappearing in the bathroom for a while before coming back with a wet towel, which he rudely flicked your way. “Clean yourself up and then leave. Take the back elevators. I don’t want the staff to see a whore leaving my place.”

“You’re the one who brought me here.”

“Only because I had a duty to put you in your place,” He stared at you with his smirk now permanent in his face, admiring the bruises he left on your body.

“We’re not over yet, Zenin. I’m going to break you one way or another.”

You rolled your eyes at him, walking to his closet to wear one of his shirts. Naoya was silent the whole time as he watched you button his shirt with trembling hands, his presence hot on your heels as he followed you out the large room.

As you were about to leave, you picked up the towel you used to clean your cum with and threw it right at his face.

Naoya dodged it easily, eyeing the towel with a scoff. “Still resilient, I see,” settling down on one of his lounge chairs like it was a throne, Naoya rested his cheek on his fist as he stared you down. “But fine — I accept your challenge. A true man never backs down from a challenge, after all.”

“Oh, honey, I’m more than just a challenge,” you sneered.

Naoya’s gaze left your eyes to stare at your perky nipples that poked through his shirt, feeling his cock swell all over again. But he was a man of control and dignity — he wouldn’t do anything more with you, not when it was clear you’ve had enough for tonight.

It didn’t bother him though, he knew he’d have more opportunities to put you in your place.

“We’ll see about that. I’ll be the one to decide your worth,” he declared oh so smugly, the mere sound of his voice pushing you to slam a fist to ruin that pretty face of his, though you held your ground, far too tired to move a muscle. Naoya saw this too, and he smiled to himself, head tilted to the side as he studied the mess he’d made of you. “Tomorrow, same time same place?”

There was no telling what pushed you to agree, but the words left your lips far too confidently for you to even wonder why.

“Be ready for me, Zenin.”

“I always am.”

All the way back to the back elevators that Naoya had directed you at, you pondered on how you’d be able to tell your parents you suddenly needed a ride home when they had no idea you left the dinner gala in the first place. But most of all, how were you supposed to tell them you’d acquainted yourself with the Zenin clan all over again?

[seabass17]

All that’s left | Pt. 2

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem! Reader

A/n: So, this is... a different reader in comparison from the one in the first part but I kinda like it? Anyway, Im considering making a third part and im thinking it'll contain some smut. I used google translator so please don't judge me. Tell me what you think. Happy reading.

All that's left pt. 1

Warnings: angst, mentions of scars, swearing, implied smut?

Word count: 3.263

Summary: After moving from her life in New York, away from the Avengers and him, she finds happiness and a life that she actually enjoys, but that seems to last little when she spots the familiar jet on the roof of the building she lives in. Is she ready to face them? To face him?

*Three months later*

The warm air surrounding my body made me take a deep breath and unconsciously smile. I was happy, I was free, I was whole. I was with my neighbor drinking coffee in our usual spot, which was a cafe near the main street of the place that I decided was going to become my new home.

“Продолжай рассказывать мне о своем боссе, который сводит тебя с ума” (Keep on telling me about your boss who drives you crazy) Andrei said making me laugh and shake my head.

“Не о чем говорить, он просто засранец, который дает мне слишком много работы и заставляет меня плакать” (Nothing to talk about, he's just an asshole who gives me too much work and makes me want to cry) I laughed. I had met Andrei a week after I moved in and there was an immediate connection. No, it wasn’t in a romantic one, god no, we were just really good friends that had a lot in common.

“Now now, that was not what i saw the other day when i went to pick you up from work” He said with a playful smirk plastered on his light brown face. I gasped, a fake indignant expression on my face while my hand went to my chest. He laughed loudly. “Don’t play that card, I saw you!” he added

“I don’t know what you are talking about” I said, trying to fight the smile that tried to come out but failing miserably, we both laughed.

He and I had become quite close in the little time that we had known each other. He was an American with a Russian name. He explained that his mother was from the states while his father was a russian spy, they fell in love against all odds and eventually, Andrei was brought to this world. When he was fifteen his father died and he and his mom went to America, where he finished high school and surprisingly, entered the military. He did two tours before he decided that he had enough and returned to Russia. Hence why he could speak both Russian and English fluently. As for me, I told him that I was in some sort of organization that worked for the government, and that’s why I knew russian. He believed me, thank God,  I didn’t want to talk about how I was part of the Avengers and why I left. Obviously I will tell him when the time is right and I know that he can be fully trusted.

“Oh, come on Ames, are you going to tell me that you don’t like him one bit? Not in the slightest?” he asked, smiling and I shook my head. He stayed silent for a second and stared at me, like he was considering whether he should ask me something or keep quiet. “Is it because of him?” he finally asked, watching me closely to see my reaction. I felt my stomach twist at the mention of him. Of course it was because of him, because of them, I couldn’t afford getting hurt and betrayed one more time. Andrei didn’t know his name, or theirs for that matter, so I smiled weakly and nodded.

“Yeah, I know it sounds stupid but… I just can’t afford getting hurt, not again, not anymore” I said looking at my hands.

“I understand, believe me I do” he said, his hand reaching out to hold mine. I looked up to find his brown eyes looking for mine, I saw nothing but genuine love -the friendly kind- in them. I smiled and squeezed his hand. He was going to say something but his phone rang; a notification. He withdrew his hand to look at his phone and the moment he did, people around us started getting up and running in the same direction. I looked at him confused to find him frowning at his phone.

“What is it?” i asked.

“The Avengers are here…” He said and my heart skipped a beat and my body went rigid. Andrei noticed. “What 's wrong?”. Well, there’s no use keeping him from the truth anymore.

“So, remember when I told you that I worked for an organization for the government? Okay don’t freak out and hate me but, here it goes” I took a deep breath. “That organization was called The Red Room were they trained me from a very young age to be a perfect cold-blooded killer, years later i escaped and was on the run until i got a new identification, name, address, new everything and then joined the avengers to amend the wrongs I made in the past. To my luck, it didn’t go great because it ended up breaking me the same way The Red Room did, so I left to find a fresh start and came here where I met you. Please don’t hate me” I concluded in one breath. Andrei was silent with a straight face, which was hard to read, and eventually after a few seconds that felt like an eternity and shrugged his shoulders. WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN.

“Believe it or not, I've heard worse” he simply said

“Worse than finding out that your best friend is a train killer and former avenger?” i asked incredulously and he tilted his head and smirked

“US Agent mother and Russian spy father” He said. I laughed and he followed right after. “So, I'm guessing we are running away?” he asked. Say what now?

“We?” I asked, almost in shock to which he simply nodded, “You don’t think im just gonna let you go like that, please, is not that easy to get rid of me” he snorted. “And I'm supposing Amelia is not your real name either, given the fact that you ran off,” he added. Damn, he is good.

“Y/n, y/n y/l/n” I said and he slowly smiled

“Well y/n, nice to meet you, my name is Andrei Petrova” he said, extending his hand, i repeated his action with the same smile. “I’ve got to say, I like the name y/n more than Amelia '' he added and laughed. We were brought back to the matter at hand when the screaming of the people were getting louder. I snapped my head up and saw the familiar jet on the roof of the building where I was living.

“Here’s what we are going to do, I’m going to my apartment and buy us some time while you go get a car and,” i handed him my card “you are going to get all the money from my bank account. I will meet you in front of the cafe that’s two blocks away from my place”

“Are you going to be okay?” He asked with clear worry in his eyes. I smiled and nodded

“Yes, I promised. Now go” I said before he got up and ran. I sighed and went to my apartment. Was I really going to do this? After months, was I ready to face them, already knowing the truth? Well, guess I'm going to find out.

Once in the building I decided to programmed the lights to go out in 50 minutes and then I went to the elevator, wanting to appear as normal as possible even though I felt like my heart was going to explode from how fast it was beating inside my rib cage. When the elevator stopped at my floor I walked until I was standing in front of my door. I didn’t need to wait and confirm, I knew they knew I was here, now there’s only one thing left to do. But before I did anything, the door creaked open.

*10 hours earlier*

Bucky paced from one side to the other, finding himself incapable of staying put. Natasha sat silently on her chair, Tony was in the front with his head in between his hands, Steve was resting on the side of the wall looking at the floor, Bruce was just standing there holding his chin analyzing everyone in the room. Sam sat on the couch looking through his phone, Vision was sitting next to Wanda on the other couch, while Clint and Thor were sitting on the other chairs. Peter had some school stuff to deal with like the teenager that he was. They’ve been looking for her for the past three months, and about a week ago, a picture was found of someone that looked exactly like her, all except her hair that was a bit shorter and the color was different, but other than that, it was practically her.

Not wanting to get their hopes -or rather enthusiasm- up, they decided to look deeper and found out that the picture was taken a month ago in the city of Magadan located in Russia. They found out that before three months, the name Amelia Agapov, didn’t exist. The more they looked into it, the more they were convinced that it was her.

“The mission report from Agent Carter arrived, should i put it on the screen?” the voice of the AI filled the room. The team had been waiting for that report for days, the nerves of the question that lingered in the air ‘was it her?’ being present for that time only grew stronger as Stark asked FRIDAY to project the report on the screen.

Pictures were shown, most of them were about this woman buying in the market, having coffee with a guy, but there was one, where her face was looking straight into the lens of the camera, and it was that picture that left the people in the room absolutely rigid. It was her.

“We found her…” Tony said in a whisper. Everybody kept their gaze on the picture on the big screen. After months looking for her, they finally had found her. To everyone, it was like someone just discovered something new, a kind of relief and anxiety all at the same time.

“Suit up, we’re going to get her” Steve said to the group, but see, it was the choice of words from Cap that Bucky found unsettling.

“Get her? Like she is some kind of criminal?” he said, looking at his best friend dead in the eye. Steve opened his mouth to say something but Tony beat him to it.

“She was trained by The Red Room to be an assassin, we can expect nothing more from her '' He said, trying to calm Bucky down, but instead it only caused him to get angrier, and not only him.

“So was I” Natasha said, her voice low that could scare anyone to the bone if they weren’t so used to her.

"It's different" Tony said

“How is it different?” Wanda said this time, “It wasn’t when you practically recluded me after I helped Ultron and tried to kill you all” she added.

Tony sighed and looked down, realizing that he might be overreacting.

“Let’s just get suit up and get on with it” Steve said, cutting the rather awkward silence that filled the room.

The avengers were suit up and on the quinjet in less that forty-five minutes, and they were in Madagan in nine hours, it took them an hour to find her building, and once they found it, Clint landed the jet on the roof and they all got out and looked for her apartment. Funny enough, it was the same number as the one she used to live in New York; 108. They waited for what seemed an eternity until they heard footsteps just outside the door. Suddenly, the air felt thick with anticipation, but Bucky couldn’t wait any longer so he crossed the living room in two steps and opened the door. She was standing there. Silence took over the entire apartment until she broke it.

“Well, are you going to move so that I can get inside my goddamn apartment Barnes?” she said expectantly. Bucky realized that he had been staring at her since he opened the door. Her hair was different, more wavy and a shade or two lighter. He moved to the side and she was able to see the rest of the team. This was going to be one hell of an evening.

Breathe. In… and out…

It was hard. Fuck. Okay i can do this.

“Well isn’t this nice. All the team back together again!” I said with sarcasm dripping from every letter.

“What the hell did we ever do to you?” Steve said firmly.

“Damn, getting straight into it. That’s okay” i shrugged as I went to my room but the sound of the blasters of Tony's suit stopped me.

“Stop, don’t take another step” He said, lifting his hands and I smiled.

“Really? Well unfortunately i have to change, so i’ll leave the door open if it makes you comfortable” i said as i continued to walk to my room, and like I said, i left the door open.

“Y-you don’t have to do that, you can…” Wanda said but trailed off. I had taken my shirt off; my scars were shown.

“So, Steve” I broke the silence as I put on a black shirt, “the thing that you did wasn’t as bad as tin man over there, but you still let Hydra take me the day we took out the helicaries” i added. His face got pale and started shaking his head.

“What? No, you made it out safe, you-” He started saying but i interrupted him

“You sure? Who do you think stopped Rumlow when he tried to interfere with the exchange of the chip when you were in the helicarrier with Bucky?” He started thinking for a moment until he realized what I said fell into place. “Yeah, I took one hell of a beating, and if that wasn’t enough, I fell to the water. I fell thirty floors down, and I alone got myself out, because I didn't have anyone to cover me or have my back” i concluded.

“Your scars…” Tony said this time and i turned to him

“Yeah, thanks to you Mr. Stark” i said and he looked at me. “Doctor said that 74% of my body is covered with scars, along with one or two burns”

“You were that girl in The Red Room” Natasha said, causing me to turn my head to look at her and I smiled cynically, “You are Eliza” she finished.

“Давно не виделись с Натальей” (Long time no see Natalia) i said and she looked at me in pure surprise in her faced. That’s something coming from the famous Black Widow.

“What about the rest of us y/n?”  Sam said this time, redirecting my attention from Natasha to the rest of the group. Thor was standing there holding his hammer, Bruce was next to the fridge, Clint was by the sink, Wanda was with Vision beside the kitchen table and Bucky was by the door. They were all looking at me. I took a look at the clock, I have to leave in less than thirty minutes.

“Long story short, Clint, Bruce, Sam, Wanda and Vision are the ones that didn’t do anything, so just chill out, you are still on my good side” I smiled and waved my hand.

“Hold on, but what did I do?” Thor asked and I looked at him.

“God it really is unfair how such a little thing can cause such a big problem. The first time you came down to earth, met Jane, bla bla bla… when her stuff was under custody of shield, and you took that notebook; they blamed me. I know it may seem weird because, how? Thing is, I was undercover at that time inside Shield, so when the notebook disappeared, guess who was the one that got beaten for it. I couldn’t move from the pain.”

Thor was standing completely still.

“Lady y/n…”

“How is it possible? I was there  and never saw you” Clint interrupted Thor.

“It was before the avengers, i was on the run and a girl's gotta eat. Don’t worry, I never gave them anything. Got the money and then killed them, they were nobodies” I shrugged off.

“So, that’s all you needed to know, so if you please leave my…” I said but then he interrupted me.

“No” I would be lying if I said it didn’t send shivers down my spine at his tone, and I hate even more that he noticed it. “You’re missing one doll” Well fuck me

I turned to see him and he was walking painfully slow towards me and I was praying for my legs to not give out.

“Barnes” I simply said, thanking God and all the saints that it didn’t come out as a whimper. I took a look at the clock once more. I have to leave. Now. “Such a shame, wish you had fought for us, I would have gone through hell and back for you, Buck” his eyes were looking straight to my own and I felt like he was staring at my bare soul. In a way, he was. I smiled and I saw behind my back that the team was looking at us, we’ve never been this close, not in public anyway. I standed on my tiptoes and reached for his right ear, he instinctively reached down so it was a bit easier for me.

“If you want to know, you’ll have to find me first дорогой” (Sweetheart) I whisper. Next thing, the light went out just like I programmed it to and I slid beside Bucky to reach out to the door and to the hall. I could hear the team screaming ‘what the hell just happened’. I ran to the emergency stairs, and once out I could still feel him behind me, getting close. I went into an alley, having to detour, knowing that he eventually was going to catch up to me and I couldn't have him follow where I was really going. A few seconds later, I felt him caging me to the wall on the alley, both of us breathing heavily. His flesh hand went to my throat and his metal one rested on the wall.

“Given a different occasion, I would have loved this, don’t get me wrong, I still love how you…”

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked huskily and I smiled.

“I told you, you’ll have to wait until you find me again. Alone.” i said

“Come on Barnes, do you really think that the charade of being your personal fuck toy would last forever?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“It wasn’t like that, i…” he said but trailed off. The pain in my chest starting and clenching my heart.

“There it is…” i said lowly, the hurt in my voice evident, “listen, i’d love to keep talking about how you used me, but like i said,” i got close to his face, my nose touching his, “find me to found out” after that,  I raised my knee kicking him right in between his legs.

He let out a pained groan and fell to the floor, causing his grip in my neck to give out. I took advantage and ran. Two blocks away, I saw Andrei. When he saw me running to him, he immediately got in the car and turned the engine on, then I got in.

“Drive, fast” it was the first thing i said

“Where?” he asked while we took off. I smiled and looked at him

“You’ll see”

-

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Taglist

@silentkiller2374 @vikingqueenlove @girlfriday007 @supraveng

[enhyupn]

enhypen as characters inspired by animes ᯤ 

tagging @youreverydayzebra @ncityy04 @rheyom

ot7!enhypen x gn!reader, fluff, warnings: mentions of (jokingly) dying, swear words, reader’s in a maid outfit in jay’s one but no mentions of a certain gender, word count: 3.3k

a/n most of these aren’t the same as the animes mentioned but instead just inspired or loosely inspired by the plot! also some of these aren’t the same in word count and i apologise for that ]:

∷ heeseung — orange

heeseung as the new kid at school and he’s so pretty that everyone just. Stops in place and just stares at him as he introduces himself

funnily enough you already saw this coming, realising this was the same heeseung the letter you received that morning told you about

what was funnier was the fact that letter was coming from the future you

you didn’t believe it Then because like... it kinda sounds too stupid to be true

but then BOOM there heeseung is

your teacher makes him sit beside you and you’re just trying to wrap your head around how crazy all of this is

your letter even told you that he was going to sit beside you, why was all of this coming true????

you didn’t read on because you were in a rush to get to school but maybe if that letter warned you about how pretty he was, you wouldn’t of been that flustered when he started talking to you

“hey i’m heeseung!” “ummm yeah, i’m y/n... yeah”

when school ends you RACE home to get to that letter again

rest of heeseung + of the members under the cut!

your future self was gonna have a lot of explaining to do...

turns out the future you Let this same heeseung walk out of your life so now you have to fix this

“dear past me, i can’t believe i was this stupid to let him leave my life like this— how stupid am i??”

now you make it your mission to keep your barely started relationship not go rocky

and oh boy would that be a challenge for the years to come

not because heeseung’s a terrible bf, future you just gave terrible tips

everyday after that you and heeseung (like the letter said) turned into great friends

great friends as in friends that people think that are dating

soon that friendship became a relationship... and a very strong one to be honest

your letters were weirdly very accurate

a firework festival... how he confessed to you... all of it was in those letters

honestly you should scold them for letting heeseung get away!!

you secretly wanna tease them that YOU have heeseung by your side and they don’t but... you can’t really do that

you tell heeseung about the letters one day and he just. Stares at you in astonishment

because he also received letters on the same day you got them from future him too

turns out future you and heeseung both regret their decision

poor them but at least present you gets to kiss heeseung whenever you want 😇

not to spoil anything but heeseung didn’t end up walking out of your life <3 instead you two are now sickly in love

∷ jay — maid-sama

you work at a maid café mainly because you needed the money and honestly... it wasn’t even that bad of a job

i mean compared to your school president life — trying to keep teenage boys out of trouble — happily serving polite and friendly (most of the time) customers was definitely a steal

one boy in particular gave you a bit more trouble than the rest of them however

he wasn’t bad or anything, just... a serial heart breaker

jay park was always on your radar due to the fact so many people would go up to you asking you to tell him to be nicer with his rejections

he wasn’t complied to be nicer but 😍 what can you do

safe to say that you didn’t think you had the best relationship with him

you couldn’t understand him even more when you saw him prettily sitting at the tables at your work

may i add, with you in your very own maid outfit as well as a twitching eye

“y/n! looking great” “thanks m-ma-mas—” “your customer service is terrible”

and the fact he came every day after that day made you feel Terrified

and also a little excited to go to work but you’d never admit that!!!

having him stare at you while you cheerily wrote with ketchup on omelettes was... definitely not how you thought your relationship would be like

he would also make small talk too

and visit you after your shift!!! walking you home

now... his daily visits turned into genuine great conversations on the way home

you realised he wasn’t as bad as you made him out to be

he just had strong beliefs that he should only accept a confession if it’s from someone he loves

you didn’t know how... but now You Have Feelings For him.

and seeing him when smile at you every time you serve him at that little maid café... ARGGGG it drove you absolutely mad

the way he oozed out confidence... was sweet and quite literally the prettiest person you’ve ever seen... how could you not

and what other way to confess to him than at the very place your relationship blossomed at!

you wrote “i like you” with ketchup on fried rice for him... yeah

thankfully he was over the moon and Had to hold back kissing you in front of the customers

now you two were dating <3 with the help of a maid café

and that really only left you with one more question

“why did you start visiting this maid café in the first place?”

∷ jake — kimi no todoke

being the quiet student is never. a good thing

especially when you’re ostracised by your class because you never participate

you actually want to but you can’t build any confidence to do so

you never caught the attention of anyone

well... besides a certain popular boy by the name of jake sim

oh boy was this gonna be a culture shock to the girls that have a crush on him

he noticed you on the first day of school when you asked him for directions to your classroom

he won’t ever forget it, the way you had a huge excited smile on his face as the cherry blossoms fell softly around you

he quotes, it looked like you came straight out of heaven because it looked like you had wings on you

he didn’t know how to get your attention though.

every time he tried to do so you wouldn’t even look at him and would just look down at your desk

it hurt him to see you so isolated

that’s when he had the bright idea to ask you if you wanted to walk with him home

bad idea (kinda), because you did accept but you didn’t know what to do the whole time because you’ve never walked home with someone before

it was bad enough that jake was absolutely Stunning. like blindingly attractive

you didn’t know what to say at all

well until you came across a small puppy making it’s way up to the two of you

they were so cute that you just squealed out of excitement

jake was so surprised to hear Something from you that he just instantly put on this huge genuine grin

“there’s no tag on them!” your upsetting tone sent jake into haywire

he literally watched you pet that dog with literal heart eyes he wasn’t even being sutble

he takes a picture of you and he Stupidly leaves the ringer on so you hear him and everything

he was so embarrassed about it

“did you just take a picture of me?” “y-yeah” “oh... is that what people do?”

you literally had no idea how to interact with people so you thought what he did was Normal

somehow this caused jake’s crush on you to develop Quick

especially when you grabbed his hand to pull you closer to the dog

his heart was beating so fast he didn’t know what to do

he is self proclaimed the biggest dog lover but for some reason... he wasn’t even looking at the dog, not even trying to play with it

he was just staring at you with his doting eyes as you smiled and giggled while playing with the dog

he wasn’t gonna confess yet though because he still has to develop your relationship

in true shoujo romance anime fashion, he was gonna confess twelve episodes (probably a year) later <3

∷ sunghoon — ao haru ride

no i definitely did not put sunghoon for ao haru ride because i have a huge crush on kou and sunghoon... /s

you and sunghoon were in the same elementary class because... fate

you had the biggest crush on him and even your mom knew him because he was a well known figure skater

but who didn’t have a crush on him was the real question

being the young confident elementary student you were, you always talked to him

forever talking to him to the point where you two were Actually really good friends

you thought you were on cloud9

but. turns out figure skating takes a lot more training than you had thought so

you literally cried Buckets and Buckets when you found out he had to train in like russia for an unsure amount of time

there was no way on contacting him too since you had no phone, no nothing

so he left. and you didn’t know what to do with yourself

ok flash forward noises

now you’re in high school! still... gripping onto that crush you have on sunghoon

but you think it’s fine since you are Functioning without him i guess

well until you bump into someone with a very familiar voice...

“watch where you’re going” talk about passive Aggressive 🤨

and when you look up because obviously you were gonna start yelling at him

well. You just froze in shock when you were faced with sunghoon’s raised eyebrow smirking at you

and what was the logical thing to do apparently?

cry. right in front of him.

he just froze as he watched you sob while everyone stared at him

he was trying to explain himself while at the same time Dragging you Away because he couldn’t let you just cry in the middle of the hallway

now you two were at the top of some stairway as you sniffled recovering from your endless crying

“why were you crying? “how could i not when you’re here?”

turns out that sunghoon Knew you were at the same school as him but wanted you to figure it out yourself

it took you almost six months. to figure out sunghoon was in your grade.

but what next? do you rekindle your friendship or...

“i’ve changed” okay maybe that answered your question

and before he could even explain himself he just... Got up and left????? for no reason

and that’s when tsundere sunghoon started to come into play.

you constantly tried talking to him but it would end up with the two of you bickering

you walked home the same way too

weirdly enough He was very nice to you sometimes

letting you place your head on his shoulder, lovingly smiling at you, being very Oddly romantic

he was giving you mixed signals.

and there came that old elementary school crush... gearing back up for a second round

“what are we?” now you decided being bold was the right thing to do

he just stared at you and shrugged.

now here comes the water works

you started crying uncontrollably Again but this time sunghoon looked really guilty and comforted you

he even hugged you. (Wow... Development)

he then explained to you that he Likes you (omg) but he’s scared that he might have to pack up and leave you again and he doesn’t want you to get too attached

and you’re like “we have each other’s numbers this time though?”

sunghoon’s just like Ohhhh

that’s how you started dating

and rekindled that elementary crush (successfully)

∷ sunoo — toilet-bound hanako-kun

being the bold and adventurous person you are. You decided to call onto your school’s very own ghost

because you had the biggest crush on this upperclassman you needed the support of a Spirit to help you

“ummmm hey... school spirit, i’m kinda in love with someone and i heard—” “hi” and then you fall onto the ground because something scares you

turns out the spirit’s name is sunoo and you just summoned him

it also turns out this spirit was kinda cute 😟

he had offered you something like a book — telling you if you follow all the rules — you’ll end up dating your crush

turns out it was just a middle school romance book you could of bought at dollar tree.

you were rightfully mad at him Since all you did was end up embarrassing yourself

somehow during your argument, your eyes caught a glimpse of something in his pocket

you took it. because you deserved it

and ATE IT when sunoo told you that it grants you any wish when consumed

you didn’t even need to listen to any of the disclaimers because it was already in your stomach

one things turns into another and now you’re a spiritually bound fish to sunoo.

turns out what you ate was mermaid scales and he needed to eat one too so you could turn human (he told you he can’t explain it because it’s a long story!)

you two are now bonded together (4lyfe 🥺🤞) and you aren’t that happy due to the fact he was always teasing you and playing around with you!!!!

you were now his human assistant.

you helped him with cleaning the toilets and he helped you by saving you from the supernatural

very well balanced relationship

you grew very fond of sunoo as time went on

even though you almost died a few times... he was always there to save you from whatever the spiritual world had to offer

i won’t spoil anything but... school spirit sunoo seemed to have a soft spot for you too 😇

you showed him your passion for art and everything like that

you tried to dodge questions about the... y’know... why he was a spirit

knowing that it would probably hurt him

plus he didn’t have all those things coming after him for nothing

falling in love with a ghost wasn’t what... you were expecting when you first joined your school

but i guess you had no choice since he was spiritually bound to you!

∷ jungwon — whisper of the heart

you loved the library dearly, you loved reading and writing— just books in general

your favourite place was a really big cosy library a few minutes away from your house

you had always borrowed more than three books every visit

and every time you would look at who borrowed the book, the same exact name would show up each book you borrowed

“yang jungwon... he seems to have good taste in books”

you would dreamily sigh thinking about what this jungwon looked like

later on in the week you were writing a story at the park— y’know, normal things

your friend called you out of the blue for some reason rushing for you to help them

out of panic you forgot your book on the bench and didn’t realise when you had finally finished helping out your friend

to your surprise there was already someone sitting on the bench

and Reading Your Very Own Story

you literally just run up to him and snatch it from his hands because you’re embarrassed!!!

what didn’t help was the fact that the first thing he did was Laugh in your face about it .

he called your story stupid!!! and critiqued it!!!!

you just bicker with him and complain to your friend about it later that night

the next day you thought that... maybe if you went to the library again you might spot this yang jungwon

so you make it your mission to get to the library

funnily enough your plan had failed in an instant when your eyes caught a cat that you just became curious about

you followed it because it just wouldn’t stop getting away from you

it also looked like it was taking you somewhere but 😦

after a tiring ten minutes of following this cat from hell and back. It brought you to this old antique shop

you instantly fell in love with the store and everything in it

you were so distracted by everything that you hadn’t realised someone was behind you

you could feel your eyes widen when you realised it was the same boy from the park

holding that same cat you were following too????

“why are you here?” his eyes literally started Squinting at you

he then proceeded to tell you about how his vocal lessons were nearby and more importantly that the cat was His

he asks you if you want to go visit where he does his lessons and Obviously being as curious as you were, you accepted

when he brought you there you could see his eyes instantly sparkle from just being there cute... kinda

he even started to sing for you and that’s when you thought that he wasn’t that bad

some of his teachers started to join in too and before you knew it, the sun was already gone and you’ve spent the whole time with some boy that you were supposed to hate

“jungwon, who’s your friend” your body Froze in shock when you heard that name

jungwon thought you were stupid for not knowing your name and now you realise you’ve been crushing on him this whole time

(i refuse to continue on more with this because it’ll be too long unless some of you want a oneshot of this 😍)

∷ ni-ki — haikyuu

being forced by your teacher to sign up to be some volleyball team’s manager was Not that fun to experience

but there you were, managing a volleyball practice of that very own team

thankfully, it was safe to say you had a good relationship with all of them

and an even Better relationship with a certain volleyball player

nishimura riki and you were practically glued to the hip

you were so incredibly thankful that he was the first one to speak to you when you first started becoming their manager

the rest of them were tall and scary but riki was just tall and friendly

he was so energetic and just So bright that you couldn’t help but look forward to seeing him every day you had practice

he would even teach you how to play volleyball

like he’d be like “isn’t this move so cool? let me teach you it!”

at this point you could be a professional volleyball player with the help of riki

you were overjoyed watching them win their final match to compete in the spring interhigh

you were also incredibly happy to know that riki scored the winning point

he couldn’t stop telling you about it and you just kept excitedly praising him and not to play favourites but you weren’t this excited when heeseung scored the previous winning point

even though you and your team were excited, you could feel how nervous they were when they entered the huge gymnasium

they were surrounded by all the best high school volleyball teams in the country

the very first team they went up against gave them a very Tough time

you remember sweating so hard when the scores were almost the same, the other team leading in that set

you decided that. Maybe you could help

“riki! you can do it” your shouting somehow caused riki to instantly become energised

everything was a blur up until your team had Won the match

and all because you gave riki some encouragement

he literally ran to you the second they had won and almost knocked you down

you didn’t wanna tell him that he was sweaty so you just let him carry on hugging you tightly

the rest of the team was like “why didn’t you cheer us on like you did with riki?”

and when you tried to explain your face just started heating up like crazy

so you ignored the subject.

riki just took it as he was your favourite

but what you didn’t want to tell them was the fact that you had a crush on him

as if it wasn’t obvious enough 😟

[mitsukui]

put your lips like this | f.w.

Pairing: Fred Weasley x reader.

Summary: there is a secret buried inside your heart that is keeping you from going to the Yule Ball. However, Fred decides to be the greatest of friends and  teach you one thing or two.

Word Count: 2.1k - oops...

Warnings: none! Just a whole lot of fluff! ✨ Oh, there is a curse word towards the ending.

Disclaimer: none of the pictures used in the edit below belong to me; I simply put them together.

A/N: HAPPY HOLIDAYS, BABIES! *aggressively listens to ‘My Boo’, by Usher and Alicia Keys*. Not to be dramatic, but James Phelps with long hair could punch me right in the face, and I would thank him. Please, leave me some feedback if you feel like it! My askbox is open for your opinions, thoughts and requests. Thank you so much for your time and attention!  ♡

Masterlist!

“You know I’m good at keeping secrets, so just tell me already! C’mon, tell me why you don’t want to go to the Yule Ball.”

A heavy and utterly annoyed sigh left your lips. Fred Weasley – that prick! – had been tormenting you the entire day. You knew he was a curious soul, but you had never imagined he would try so hard to make you spill one of your secrets out.

It was not something you fancied sharing; actually, it was something that made you feel rather pathetic and embarrassed. How could you tell your friend, whom you had unexpectedly developed feelings for, that you had never been kissed?

Curiosity and anticipation were emanating from his figure as he whispered soft ‘tell me’s, and moved anxiously on his chair. You fidgeted with the quill in your hand before you sighed once more. It did not seem like he was going to give up on solving that mystery any time soon. “Alright, fine. I will tell you. But only if you promise you will act as if nothing had ever happened.”

“Pinky promise!” He immediately dropped his own quill and extended his right hand towards you, his little finger waiting up to be intertwined with yours. Your eyes studied his hand, and you did not fail to notice how big and veiny they were.

Oh, Godric, the voice that took form of your consciousness echoed in your head, this boy is going to be the death of me.

Reluctantly, you closed your textbook and put your quill down on the wooden table, these two actions being followed by the connection between your fingers. His tongue poked the inside of his cheek, the similarity to a little boy that he carried in his behavior causing you to chuckle. However, your good spirits soon vanished away when you came to the realization you now had to tell him the truth. You had never been good at lying, for all it mattered.

He beamed widely at you, and he had his ears ready to capture all the words that were about to slip from your lips. But nothing was coming out of them, and a slight impatience resulted in his eyebrows being furrowed together. Fred went back to whispering words to hurry you into opening up, and the situation just overwhelmed your inexperienced heart.

It was all too much: you could not bear with the fact that he was staring so intensely at you, nor with the fact that you were about to tell him you saw yourself as a ridiculously stupid teenager who had never felt a pair of lips brushing against their own.

“I don’t really know how to do the whole…kissing thing. And I refuse to go to the Yule Ball because of it, given that chances of being kissed by your date are high.”

Your confession came out as a train losing its track – fast, unruly and through gritted teeth. Although you were deeply ashamed of that part of you, his face expressed the total opposite of any of your feelings.

His eyebrows were still furrowed together, but now scoff dripped from his words. “Yeah, right. And George is more handsome than me.”

You could swear your heart skipped a beat at that moment. Blinking in the rawest surprise your body could internally gather, you stared at him and waited for him to say anything else. You were lost for words. How could he not believe you?

“I mean, you’re incredibly beautiful. And I know you have a few people interested in you.” When you raised an eyebrow at his latter words, he was quick to snap back at you. “I’ve noticed how that Ravenclaw boy looks at you.”

Even though there was an inconspicuous blush tainting your face due to his compliments, you waved his words off and laughed shyly. He probably was just acting nice towards you. That was a huge characteristic of the Weasley family – being raised by an amazing woman like Molly herself made such a thing come out naturally.

You remained quiet for a few moments, your heart beating fast in your chest and your eyes staring out the library windows. You still had a hard time believing you had just confessed your deepest secret to your love interest, but it was of no use crying over spilt milk. If he were one to keep his promises, one of your rare studying sessions with Fred Weasley would soon return to normal.

But what if he started pitying you for it? Or what if he stopped talking to you, once he concluded your universes did not collide? He surely was vastly experienced when it came down to kissing. Kissing Fred Weasley would probably be the biggest honor of your life.

Unconsciously, your eyes left the windows and roamed the surroundings until they reached his lips. It was almost as if the whole world had stopped.

Fred had thin lips, but they seemed to be astonishingly soft for someone who caused as much trouble as he did. His upper lip was subtly curved, and you were mesmerized by every single little detail you could visually grasp. That moment would haunt your thoughts for a long time, once it was pure cruelty how you had fallen out of love – the one you loved did not love you back.

But you were terribly wrong about that. Fred had been experiencing some shifts on his feelings towards you lately. He had watched you blossom into a charming young girl, and there was something about you hitting hard on his heart. And, frankly speaking, after he caught you looking at his lips, he would be in heaven if he ever got the chance to kiss you.

“Come on. Let’s get out of here.” He helped you gather all of your belongings with a gentle smile hanging on his lips and, once more, you swore your heart was melting away over everything he did.

As you walked out of the library together, dipped in a somewhat agonizing silence, you felt his fingers brushing against yours, which caused you to instantly look at him. “Can I hold your hand while we walk?”

Holy moly, what did he just say? Your consciousness was again alarmed at the scenario taking place right in front of your eyes. Okay. Keep calm. Don’t freak out.

“Y-Yeah, I guess.”

He did not waste any time on ending the ridiculously small distance between your hands. However, he did not simply hold your hand in his; he intertwined your fingers together, and gave your hand a light squeeze. His eyes fell upon you, and his gorgeous smile grew wider. You could not help but smile along.

You continued on walking together in silence, the only tangible thing between you and Fred being the tiny circles his thumb drew on your skin. If it were possible to describe your feelings, one would choose the talk about fireworks, or waves violently crashing on rocks on a breathtaking beach.

He unquestionably would be the death of you.

He tugged on your hand once you stopped in a deserted hallway. There was something astounding about the fact that he was able to find a calm and quiet place on Hogwarts, but he had always been like a box full of surprises to you. And he was also really good at knowing all the best places in the castle.

You smiled at him, the riddle he was presenting filling your chest with amusement. “What are we doing here?” All of the terrors you felt earlier returned to you, and you felt like withdrawing. “Wait. We are not here so you can lecture me on kissing, right?! Because, if we are, I would very much like to lea-“

Fred abruptly shushed you, stepping closer to your body and gently pushing your back against a wall. His eyes darted up and down your face, and he grinned cunningly down at you. He was so much taller than you, and the sight of him towering over you was quite intimidating.

“I’m gonna be your kissing instructor.”

Bitch, said what?! Your eyes widened in shock, his fingers reached out to place a lock of hair behind your ear, and your biggest wish was to evaporate. With your head shaking vigorously, and your lips being pressed together in a disappearing line, you exclaimed you would never accept that.

You could never allow physical intimacy to destroy your friendship with Fred Weasley. It was better to have him as a friend than not having him at all.

He found your actions to be absolutely adorable, the desire to consume your innocence growing bigger and bigger each second. “I’m only trying to help you out, y’know. If that Ravenclaw boy is not willing to claim these luscious lips, I sure am.”

Your cheeks erupted in a dark red shade, and you looked away from him, unable to take it for any longer. He was now evidently playing with your feelings, and you did not know how to deal with his attitude.

You were torn apart between accepting his kiss and pushing him away. It could go two ways: you would either kiss him and dismiss all of your feelings and expectations, or you would fall even harder for him. You were not exactly leaning towards neither option.

“I’ve wanted to kiss you for a while now.” He murmured his confession as he briefly dodged his eyes from your face as well. It was unusual to see the great Fred Weasley embarrassed but, apparently, it was happening right in your face. “So, please, let me be your first kiss. I promise I’ll be gentle.”

Your gaze moved back to him and he also had a light pink flush on his cheeks. He looked painfully handsome at that moment, with his freckles splattered all over his skin, and his lips trembling slightly. Your eyes met, and both of you smiled timidly. You were swooning.

“Okay.”

“Okay.” He repeated your monosyllabic answer and nodded a bit, mostly to himself, assuring he would finally feel his lips on his. “I’m gonna put my hands on your hips now.”

And he did. Both of his hands ghosted over your body until they reached your hips. He pulled you a little bit closer to his chest, and his scent tickled your nose. You felt like electrical waves were rushing through your entire body, and you wondered how you had managed not to faint.

“Look, do what I’m doing.” Fred parted his lips slightly and tilted his head to his left side a bit, his eyelashes fluttering until he finally closed his eyes. He looked heavenly, but you could never admit that and put yourself into an even more vulnerable position.

An almost inaudible snicker rang in his ears, and he soon opened his eyes and looked at you. You confessed he looked quite silly like that, but he ignored your comment and ordered you to mimic him again. His voice was low and his warm breath hit your face gently. You finally obeyed, feeling all jittery and anxious.

You looked captivating in his eyes, and he was ready to show you how amazing a tad of intimacy could be.

He leaned down, bringing your lips together in an extremely slow brush against each other. “Put your lips like this.” And, a second time, you did as he told you to, copying all of his actions.

It did not take long for him to finally involve your uneasy lips with his own. He started out by giving small pecks onto your skin, but his hunger got too big and he demanded more.

Your small silhouette was pressed even harder to his body, and he touched your lower lip with his tongue, asking for permission to feel more of you. Your attempts to continue moving according to him went on, and you thought it was a good sign he had not stopped you yet.

Once the velvet-feeling of his tongue came in touch with yours, he groaned against your lips, which caused you to use both of your hands to hold onto his robes tightly.

The kiss went on for a few more moments until you and Fred were breathless, and you had to break away to learn how to cope with oxygen again.

It was difficult to find words to talk about whatever had just happened, but you mumbled a shy ‘thank you’, which he replied to with ‘don’t mention it’.

Kissing was not as horrible as you thought it would be. 

And, after all, maybe going to the Yule Ball could be quite nice if you had enough luck to get Fred Weasley to be your date and kiss you again.

[mediocre-writerr]

you belong with me [cassie howard]

cassie howard x fem reader

requested: Hey! Can I request a f! reader x Cassie Howard fic where the reader is in love with Cassie, but it's like a slow burn happy holidays! xx

key: italics stand for rue’s voiceover! enjoy

*not my gif*

Y/N Y/L/N and Cassie Howard have been best friends since they were little. Y/N was always there for Cassie during her whole childhood. Watching her from the sidelines as her figure skating became more and more incredible. 

“Y/N! When are you gonna get off your lazy bum and join us?” Cassie’s dad asks during one of their many ice skating practice sessions. 

You were taken back by surprise and you looked towards Cassie who was giving you her best pouty lips and eyes, “Oh okay.” 

You strapped on the ice skates that the Howard family bought you for your 10th birthday. A gift you rarely used. But was still grateful for nevertheless. 

Back before your Cassie started getting into ice skating your family was big about hockey. So you knew the in’s and out’s of ice skating, but you weren’t good at doing cool tricks. 

“Y/N, you’re a natural!” Cassie says as you start skating towards her. 

And it’s like she jinxed you or something because you started slipping. Flailing your hands up in the air. But she caught you and the two of you just stared at each other smiling coyly. 

Her lips were inches away from yours. But her dad cleared her throat, looking at the two of you with a small smirk on his face. 

Y/N and Cassie were inseparable, nothing seemed to ever get in between them. Lexi always gave Y/N looks and have conversations where she tried to make her think that it was something more than just a friendship, but she was easy to laugh off or ignore. 

Lexi thought of Y/N as a second sister growing up together and having Y/N be over all the time. So when she saw the way Y/N looked at her older sister she couldn’t help but want to protect her. 

She didn’t want you to get hurt, but how could Cassie ever hurt Y/N?

Y/N loved Cassie more than a friend. There was never a specific moment when Y/N found out she liked Cassie. It was everything about her, all of the moments leading up to since they were young kids.

Much to her disappoint, Cassie’s underlying daddy issues made her attached to boys in more ways than anyone could ever possibly. She fell in love too fast and dare I say it, was too naive. 

Cassie wanted to be loved and never wanted to be alone. She wanted all the boys no matter how stupid, sweet, or mean they were. And that led to many nights of crying in Y/N’s arms about some boy who leaked her nudes or made a sex tape or broke her heart.

“Y/N?” she whispers over the phone, her voice already cracking.

You shot up from laying down on your bed and instantly woke up at the sound of your first love crying, “Hey is everything okay?” 

“No. I can’t. Someone made a sex tape of me and leaked it and I just really need you.” she whispers, trying to get all of the words out. 

“I’ll be there in five.” 

Luckily for the two of you, you didn't live far. And before you knew it you were climbing in her bedroom window. 

She instantly pulled you into a hug and you wrapped your arms around her waist. Placing a hand on the back of her head to pull her close. You started rubbing the back of her head, threading your fingers through her hair. 

“It’s gonna be okay.” I whisper, “I’m here now. You’re gonna be okay.” 

Y/N always protected Cassie. Ever since the first pictures of her nudes were leaked she was there to let her cry. Her first sex tape was leaked, Y/N was there. A boy broke her heart, Y/N was there to pick up the pieces to put her back together.

Y/N hoped that one day she wouldn’t feel this way anymore. Or one day Cassie would realize that she was there all along. But it never happened. And it seemed like it would never happen when Cassie started dating McKay.

Y/N insisted she wasn’t jealous, but she also insisted she wasn’t jealous about all of Cassie’s suitors.

“McKay is a good guy Y/N!” Cassie yells. 

The two of you were having yet another argument. And you weren’t angry at her or at McKay, you were just tired. So fucking tired. 

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” Cassie asked, “This is your third snide comment this week about McKay this week and it’s only 10 am on a Monday!” 

“I’m sorry for being bitter. I’m just tired.” you whisper. 

Lexi gave you a sympathetic smile and look. And you just smiled back softly. 

See you weren’t jealous. That would involve anger and you weren’t angry. You didn’t hate McKay. 

Sure, there were thing that he did that was questionable at best, but he was wasn’t the worst out of all of Cassie’s boyfriends. 

Even though your happiness was slowly dwindling away each time you saw them at a party. Or each time she canceled plans to go hang out with him instead of you. Or each time you saw them kiss. 

Even though all of it was fading away in you. She didn’t deserve to lose anything when she was so happy. So you tried to stay the same for her and not act any differently. 

Lexi had been a good friend to Y/N and did her best to try and pull her out of it. The annual carnival was coming up and it used to be a tradition for the three girls to go together, but Cassie was busy with McKay...again. 

The two of you ran into McKay on the way to the Ferris Wheel. Much to both of your surprise you didn’t find Cassie next to him, “Where’s Cassie?” Lexi asked.

“Oh I don’t know we called it a night a couple hours ago.” he said with a shrug before going back to Nate and Mr. Jacobs.

Both of you looked at each other and immediately knew something was up. Agreeing to split up both of you searched the carnival in chance to find her. 

That’s when you saw her going around the carrousel with Daniel. She was grinding against the pole of the horse. And Daniel looked like he was getting turned on by it.

But there was something about her that was off. She looked high. You were gonna leave, but you decided to wait for the ride to stop. Before ultimately taking her home, you didn’t want some asshole like Daniel to take advantage of her in the state she was in. 

As soon as the ride stopped you hopped the fence that separated the line to get to her. Despite all the yelling from the person who controls the ride you made your way to Cassie.

“Hey Cassie. How about we get you out of here, okay?” you ask.

“Y/N! I didn’t know you were here.” she slurs and you nod smiling.

“I’m right here.” you whisper to her, unbuckling her seatbelt and lifting her off.

Daniel scoffed, “What the fuck Y/L/N?! We were in the middle of something!” he yelled annoyed.

“Not anymore.” you reply. 

You guided her towards the exit, but saw that she was stumbling and it was hard for her to walk. So you did what you thought was best and picked her up bridal style. 

Cassie wrapped her arms around your neck and nestled into your chest, “Can you believe McKay said to people we weren’t dating? We were just chilling. He literally told me that he loved me yesterday.” she says angrily.

“I’m sorry love. You don’t deserve that.” you whisper back as you saw Lexi, Jules, and Rue running towards the two of you.

Lexi looked at her sister frantically, “Is she okay? Do you need help? I can get her for you.

“Lex take a breath,” you whisper and she nods taking a deep breath, “She’s okay, she just looks a little high off of something. But I got her.” 

Lexi nods and we all get into Cassie’s car. Jules and Rue decided to stay at the carnival a little longer, but we thought it was best if we got her home. 

Cassie passed out across your lap as you just ran your fingers through her hair. Staring at the beautiful girl in front of you. 

“I wish she could see that you were always there for her. She needs someone like you in her life.” Lex whispers looking at you through the rearview mirror. 

But the thing is Cassie never noticed. As much as she would hate to agree with me, she took Y/N for granted most of the time. She just assumed that her best friend since basically birth would always be there for her.

She learned that the hard way.

You were more tired than usual as you sat on the couch of McKay’s house. You were at one of his infamous parties seated next to Lexi, Rue, and Jules. 

Lexi and Rue begged you to come and you agreed without hesitation. But then you realized that you would have to see them dancing close to one another, kissing, and just being with each other. 

The other three girls proceeded in conversation, but you were too tired to contribute. So despite all of the loud music and drunk people, you laid your head on Lexi’s shoulder trying your hardest to just shut everything out for a few minutes. 

And you were about to shut everything out when you heard your name being slurred, “Y/N, what’s wrong?” 

You opened your eyes a little, not wanting to leave the comfortable spot you found on Lexi’s shoulder.

“It’s nothing, Cassie, really. I just have a headache.” you whisper, trying your best to smile at her.

“Why are you lying to me?” she asks, crossing her arms over her chest.

Of course she knew when you were lying, 

“Just let it go, please.” you pleaded with her.

You didn’t want all of this to come out now. Not when she was tipsy. Not when all of your friends and a bunch of random strangers were around to hear.

“No Y/N! I can’t! It’s like you’ve been falling into this pit of sadness for I don’t even know how many months now! I just want to know what happened. You’re supposed to trust me. I trust you. So why can’t you trust me?” she whispered sadly.

“3 months.” I whisper simply.

“What?” she asks.

And it was all coming out right now. Despite all your wishes and prayers to not to.

“I’ve been falling into a pit of sadness for three months. Ever since you started falling for McKay.” you whisper and it looks like the wheels are turning in her head, “I can’t trust you because I’m in love with you!” 

You finally yell out, letting all the feelings that you’ve had pent up to finally come out. Lexi squeezed your hand lightly to let you know that she’ll be right here.

“What?” Cassie asks, her mouth open agape as she just stared.

“I always have been! And now it’s too late. I’m not angry with you and I don’t hate McKay. I’m just tired. I’m tired of feeling like I’m just there now when everything goes wrong in your life. When you and McKay fight or when you need someone to pick you up when you’re drunk. I’ve always been there for you and I’m tired of it not being enough.” and with that you got up and you left. 

She didn’t try chasing after you. No one did. They all knew you needed your time and your space to regroup. 

And just like that the non-related conjoined twins were separated. Neither of them talked or hung out. The only time they would see each other is passing in the hallway exchanging small smiles.

It was weird for the both of them. No small study sessions or move nights. Just them alone. 

Cassie didn’t like not having Y/N there, but every time Y/N tried talking to her she would just avoid her.

During the time Y/N was gone she realized that Y/N was right. Lexi gave her a stern talking to. Lexi’s talk was basically her singing that one Taylor Swift song.

You know the one that goes like...

Dreaming about the day where you wake up and find that what you’re looking for has been here the whole time. Then something about short skirts and t-shirts, I don’t fucking know.

And that’s when Cassie knew. Cassie Howard was in love with Y/N Y/L/N.

Then the infamous night happened, where everything came pouring out...literally. It was raining outside. 

Your phone buzzed with a text and your heart stopped at the name that popped up onto your phone. 

With a text that read meet me outside. You looked outside your window and saw the raindrops that stained your window pane. And made out the small figure that is the blonde girl. 

You grabbed a hoodie from your closet before running downstairs and to the middle of the street.

“Cassie! What are you doing? It is pouring!” you yell the hood covering your head.

You stepped closer to her throwing the hoodie you grabbed from your closet over her head. She was standing there wearing nothing, but a long sleeve shirt and jeans. 

“You still care about me?” she asks barely above a whisper voice.

You let out a sigh, “Just because we stopped talking doesn’t mean I stopped caring.” 

Out of nowhere Cassie pulled you closer to her by the waist placing her lips on yours. You didn’t kiss back at first, but it didn’t take you long to kiss her back. Your two lips moving in perfect motion, you only pulled away when you felt like you were gonna pass out.

“I love you. I always have and I’m sorry I took you for granted. And I’m sorry I didn’t see that you were right in front of me all along. I love you. I am so sorry-” she was about to go on, but you cut her off with a quicker kiss.

She smiles into the kiss before pulling away, “I love you so much, but this was very dramatic.” you whisper with a smile that matched Cassie’s.

She giggled lightly before pecking your nose.

[krabmeat]

I have not written anything in some time - since I took a break from my writing account, actually (now deleted) - so cut me some slack here. I’m gonna format this in the same way that I did my old fics for that jolt of serotonin. So, if you would be so kind to indulge me, this is how I (niceimafan) would have submitted this work on fandoesfictionwriting:

What War Does || (platonic) Father Figure c!Phil x Teen gn!Reader

A/N: This is my submission for the 100 follower milestone of the lovely @/krabmeat! Krabs (Damien today) is an amazing friend of mine and is quite possibly the best human being in the world. (Go follow him if you haven’t already!)

War struggles paired with the classic familial miscommunication, what could be better as a way for me to get back into writing? This takes place around the time of Doomsday, or the final battle/destruction. Also I can’t remember if Wilbur’s room was still there at the time of Doomsday because I have goldfish memory so pretend it was if it wasn’t.

Requested: No

{Word Count: 1,946}

CW: intense arguing, mentions of war, mentions of death, cursing (up to the f-word), caps, use of godforsaken (I don’t know if people get triggered by that? I’m not religious so I wouldn’t know), very brief mention of spit, less than great relationship with father

This is an xreader fic!

This has been proofread. (skimmed rip I don’t like reading my writing)

- In which Y/N and Phil argue about Y/N and their right to participate in Doomsday. -

Phil works away high in the sky, loading cannons with enough TNT to detonate a nation. He, Techno, and Dream have everything planned out; you know because they did all of the planning right in front of you. Meaning you know everything they are going to do, and you aren’t even allowed to be involved.

You avert your eyes from your father and pick mindlessly at some grass instead, feeling the cold breeze of afternoon cool your flaming temper. For a moment, it appears as though everything might be fine, like you could get over this and let the Big War Men do their thing. But then Phil’s boots appear in front of you, and it’s all ruined again.

“You look miserable,” he says. Phil finishes his sentence with an airy laugh, trying to convey that he’s trying to joke with you. And so you make sure that the gaze you shoot him ensures he understands you do not find him humorous. Phil sighs, taking a seat beside you.

“Look, I understand that you want to help. I do! But I also understand that people with a spirit as strong as yours have risen to unimaginable heights, only to crash back down onto the blade of loss. And I fear that you will be no different.” Phil places his hand on your shoulder. “I just want you to be safe.”

You shrug him off, turning your neck so fast to glare at him it leaves a sharp stinging sensation in your movement’s wake. “Safe? You want me to be safe? No one is safe here, and you know that.”

“Y/N, you know-”

“What, Phil? What do I know? Because according to you, it doesn’t seem like a lot.” You stand after that, stomping off in an attempt to clear your mind, hoping Phil won’t follow you. But, of course, he does.

“Y/N, wait.” He shouts, but he makes no move to speed up or stop you. He simply follows along at a distance, saying nothing else. Probably waiting for you to make the first move. But you refuse, you refuse to let him win this and watch you break again.

And so the two of you walk in silence, you with no destination in mind and Phil’s footsteps echoing yours calmly in the distance. All you can do is follow your feet to wherever they find fit for this argument to play out.

To your amusement, you find yourself in Wilbur’s old room. Where he blew up his dreams for the first time and where Phil took the life of his son. How fitting.

You finally come to a stop, taking a brief moment to collect yourself, before spinning around on your heel to address your father. “Ph- Phil?” It does shock you to find that Phil isn’t there. He’s not standing behind you with a small, comforting smile, or with his eyebrows pinched together in a way that lets you know you’re going to be scolded. Nothing.

“You dress like him, you know.” Phil says from behind you. You whirl around again, reaching for your sword on instinct. Phil stands with his hands clasped behind his back, staring out over the soon-to-be battlegrounds.

“What?” It feels like you’ve lost all air in your lungs. Phil doesn’t just say things like that, especially not to you. And of course you know who he’s talking about; Techno doesn’t wear tattered trench coats and Tommy hasn't adorned ripped up fingerless gloves to protect from burns, to your knowledge. But speaking of Wilbur when referring to another child of his in this room in particular hit you in a place you have not yet built walls in.

“Wilbur. You dress like him.” Phil turns around, and you finally see that his eyes are watering. But he still has that sympathetic smile plastered on his face. “Every day, you remind me of him. And in doing so, you remind me that I can not let you turn out the way that Will did.

“Wilbur was changed by war. He destroyed everything he worked for because of it. And for that to happen to you, with such grand dreams and ideas, it would be heartbreaking.” Phil can’t maintain eye contact with you anymore, “I just want you to be everything that Wilbur couldn’t have been.”

You let his words sink in, and as they do, you begin to fight with yourself.

He just wants to help you!

How, by comparing me to his dead son? Yeah, something about that doesn’t feel right.

Just hear him out.

You grit your teeth, balling up and releasing your fingers into and out of fists. “I am not Wilbur.”

Phil shakes his head, rubbing the place where his eyebrows crease together. “I know that, and that’s not what I’m trying to sa-”

“Yes, that is exactly what you just said!” You begin to raise your voice, getting tired of this stupid game you two are playing with each other. Lying about what you’re really talking about to try and avoid the inevitable. “You just compared me to your dead son that went crazy and blew up everyone’s homes! The one that sold drugs out of a damn hot dog van!”

The air around you seemed to heat up as tensions between you two started to rise, Phil clearly getting more angry as well. “You are not Wilbur, but you are my child!”

“Oh, am I? Am I, Philza? And how long have I been your child for, huh? My whole life, a year, a few months, just this past hour? You have been trying and failing to be my father figure because you just see me as some rogue that could get too far out of control unless you’re there. Isn’t that right?”

“No, of course not. I just-”

“No! How could I have not realized? You just want a replacement! Someone to fill the hole that was left in your poor old heart when you stabbed your son through the chest.”

“I love you, Y/N, you don’t understand! You are like a child to me, you always have been! From the moment that I met you, I saw greatness in you. I swear, you mean more to me than just some replacement for Wilbur.”

Tears burn your eyes, the singular one that fell leaving a streak through the gunpowder and dirt smudged on your cheeks. You shake your head and scoff, unable to believe that this is the conversation you are currently stuck in. “Phil, that’s the kind of bullshit that you have to tell yourself in order to sleep at night. But guess what? It doesn’t work on me.”

“It doesn’t have to ‘work on you’, it’s just the truth, Y/N. I don’t know how I can get you to believe me.”

“You can’t, Phil.” You say, trying to ignore the way your voice cracks. “Because I have believed people, and then those people have either died, or tried to kill me, or both. So you know what I did? I grew up, Phil. Because THAT is what war does. 

“It doesn’t make you write sad song lyrics on the walls, it doesn’t make you love your father figure oh so dearly, all it does is make you realize that there is more in this world to deal with than whatever any one person can do. And once you wrap your head around that, you realize that the best you can do is make the smallest of dents, and hope some other people do the same. That is how this world works, Phil.

“And do you know what my dent is going to be?” Phil has blurred by now. Once you blink the tears away, you can see that he’s crying too. Good. Now you’re really on the same page. “Blowing up this godforsaken nation once and for all.”

You turn to walk away again, hopefully for the last time, but Phil actually makes a move to stop you before you can get anywhere. “Y/N, I refuse to allow you to go out there and risk your life for a war already fought.”

“No war is already fought until people are dead.” You snap at him, resisting the urge to spit on his boots. “Besides, I can handle myself, I don’t need you to tell me who I can and can’t fight.”

“Y/N, I am your father!” Phil’s voice practically echoes through the entire SMP as he shouts at you, finally just as mad as you wanted him to be. You’re convinced people on the other side of L’Manberg can hear you two arguing. “Listen to me, you can not risk this.”

“YOU ARE NO FATHER TO ME!” You scream, getting your face as close to Phil’s as possible while still being able to look into both of his eyes. Phil’s eyes widen, whether in pain, shock, or both, you don’t know, but he quickly recovers with a stare solid enough to cut through stone. 

“Do NOT turn this argument to family matters when we are discussing life and death!”

“This is no longer a discussion, dad,” you make sure to add as much venom to the name as possible, “We are not talking this out like a father scolds his young kid about what they can and can not touch in the house. We are screaming, and shouting, and ruining relationships like adults.” You try one more time to walk out. This time you make it down to the ground floor, but Phil follows you yet again, stopping you before you can reach the Prime Path. 

“You aren’t an adult, though.” Phil’s voice is softer now, he sounds like he’s on the verge of defeat. “You’re still a kid. You shouldn’t have to deal with all of this.” 

“I was made an adult because of this damn war over some stupid place, I should be able to fight for it’s destruction like one.” You also stop shouting, but you don’t soften your voice. You keep it as firm as it can be despite your wobbly crying, letting Phil know that you are no longer playing games with him like you used to.

“I know that you could. I do. But that does not mean that you should.”

“Awwe, you really think so?” You feign a high-pitched voice, even clasping your hands together under your chin. “You honestly think that I can handle something more than a boo-boo, huh?”

“You know that I am making no attempt to infantilize you, Y/N. If you’re such an adult, you need to grow up. I do believe that you could fight for us, but I do not see it as wise.”

“Bullshit,” you say again, wiping at your eyes with your sleeve. Phil tries to speak again, but you cut him off. “No. No! No, I don’t want you to tell me over and over about what I can and can’t do. About how you think I could be a good ally to you. I already know that, because I can make my own decisions. 

“Do you know what I do want, Philza? I bet that’s something that your infinitely wise mind can’t think of. All that I want, all that I have wanted for the past SIX. FUCKING. YEARS. Is for you to just take me seriously for once in your damn life!”

Philza stands there in silence, seemingly dumbfounded, and you take this as your chance to stomp off for good. But you know full well that you’ll see Phil tomorrow. On the battlefield.

But you won’t be fighting for him, or Tommy, or Wilbur, or any of them. Tomorrow, you fight for yourself, and you win for yourself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DUDE WHAT?!?!?! INK THIS IS IMMACULATE HOW IN THE- WHAT THE F-CK THE WAY YOU CAPTURE THE ANGER AND FEELINGS AND HESITATION OF THE ARGUMENT IS SO WELL DONE!! AND THE FLOW OF TRANSITIONING FROM ONE SETTING TO ANOTHER ISNT CLUMPY OR FORCED AT ALL, THIS IS ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL INK! AND THE BUILDUP TO THE QUOTE, THE WAY YOU REALLY EMBODY ALL OF THE CHARACTERS IS SO MASTERFULLY DONE DEAR, AMAZING JOB!!!

[dreamersdreamloud]

Coming Home To You (Part 2)

AN: Kara is not Supergirl. She’s human and a reporter :) 

Many of you have requested a part two so here you go! This is part of a book that I’m working on so enjoy this sneak peek 

“This was a mistake.” Lena paces around inside her penthouse. 

Kara stands awkwardly in the middle of Lena’s living room. She watches her lover in distress, her mind running into a million thoughts. What would Alex say when she finds out? What would Eliza think of her when she finds out? 

She betrayed her oldest sister. It looks bad but most importantly she feels terrible. Kara let her temptations get the best of her. She shouldn’t have gotten so close to Lena when (Y/N) was away. She shouldn’t have comforted her most of the time when they heard the news that (Y/N) went missing during a mission. 

They shouldn’t have assumed that the person they care and love for was dead without any hard evidence. 

“Did you know?! Did you know that she was alive this whole time?!” Lena yells at the blonde Danvers. 

Kara was taken by surprise that Lena is yelling at her. She never yells at her. She never experienced her anger toward her. 

“What? No! Of course not!” Kara quickly replies. 

“How could you not know?! You literally write about international news, war stories, political topics, Kara!” 

“I’m just a reporter, Lena! I’m not a damn government spy! When I heard about my sister going missing. . . I tried to find leads, Lena! I TRIED! Nothing came out. No trace. No witnesses. No clues of what happened to my sister and her team!” 

Lena shakes her head in silence. Her tears were starting to form again. The young CEO thinks about the decisions she has made that have come to this very moment. She shouldn’t have accepted the youngest Danvers’ help and comfort when (Y/N) wasn’t around. She was a fool for falling for Kara’s touch and caring words. 

She tragically replaced (Y/N)’s kisses with Kara’s. 

“I need to find her. . . I need to find (Y/N).” Lena frantically says. “I just need to explain to her that this was a mistake. None of this was serious.” 

Kara looks into the floor and shakes her head in disapproval. 

“Lena . . .” 

“I’m sure she’ll understand. She has always been reasonable, right? God where could she be. A local bar! I just need to look up the local bars. She can’t be far. I-” 

“LENA!” Kara interrupted. 

The raven haired stops rambling and looks at Kara with frustration. 

“WHAT KARA?! I need to find your sister! I need to fix my relationship with her!” 

“What about us?” Kara questions her actions, her reasoning. 

Lena huffs out a laugh, “Us? There’s no us, Kara! This was a mistake. I MADE A MISTAKE. I love your sister, Kara. You know that!” 

It pains Kara to hear those words coming out of Lena’s mouth. Kara fell in love with Lena. In all truth, she fell in love with her while you were dating Lena. She kept it to herself. The youngest Danvers didn’t want to ruin the relationship you have with Lena. She thought that you being “dead” was an opportunity for her to have a chance being with the young CEO. 

Lena sobs, her knees falling to the ground. The stress and frustrations are getting to her. Kara didn’t hesitate to be by her side, comforting her the best she could without making the situation worse. Lena cries against Kara’s shoulder. 

“It’s not ideal to go out and find my sister, Lena. We should probably wait until tomorrow. Let her cool off. I’ll find her first thing in the morning and make this right.” 

“Okay.” Lena mumbles. 

**** 

It’s been three whole days that you haven’t stepped out of your hotel room. You have cried endlessly. Scream multiple times. You even broke a couple of items in the room. You drank until you blackout and woke up repeating the same thing you did yesterday. 

You have decided that you need to put your hurt feelings aside. You need to reunite with your family and friends. You mentally think about how you’re going to pretend that you didn’t see Kara and Lena a few days ago. You will keep your distance. You will maintain your cover. 

Your captain has already arranged your new deployment. You will be leaving at the end of the month and have a new assignment to take over. Your plan is to just get away from here. 

You've been in the bathroom for a while. Looking at yourself in the mirror. It’s obvious that it looks like you have gotten no sleep. You can just pass it off and just say that your military position doesn't give you enough sleep

You fix the imperfections of your new set of uniform before heading out. You take a deep breath and hope that no one catches you acting differently. 

*** 

Location: Lena’s Office 

“I can’t find her, Lena.” Kara desperately says. 

Lena looks out to the window, standing straight as possible. She was keeping her distance from the youngest Danvers. She can’t trust herself being near the reporter. 

“HOPE can’t find her too. The face recognition hasn’t picked up her face anywhere. . .” 

Kara’s phone rings out loud. The reporter sighs because it’s her sister, Alex. She hasn’t talked to her since you confronted your youngest sister. Kara hopes that Alex hasn’t found out, she can’t bear to handle Alex’s lecture and disappointment. 

Kara answers the call and puts it on speaker for Lena to hear as well. 

Kara: “Hello?” 

Alex: “Kara! Where are you?!” She said cheerfully. 

Kara: “I’m following a lead for my article. Why what’s up?” 

Alex: “(Y/N) is back! She’s alive, Kara! She’s alive!” 

Kara fumbles her words, not knowing how to react or say. She didn’t want to ruin her sister’s excitement. 

Alex: “Get over here at the DEO. J’onn have already picked up Eliza. They’re on their way back here. Bring Lena!” 

The call ended without Kara saying another word. Alex was too happy and excited to see you again. She’s happy that she gets to see you “first.” 

*** 

*A few hours earlier*

You didn’t head straight to the DEO to surprise your sister, Alex. You made a quick stop despite the situation you were in. The Uber car pulls up to the two story house that you were looking for. There’s physical changes to the house last time you came here. The grass was looking more green and the roses were more full. By looking at the driveway, the two people you wanted to see are still home. 

You rang the doorbell once and you can tell that someone is on their way to answer the door. You mentally ready yourself before they open the door. 

A woman gasped as they answered the door and saw you standing firmly in the middle. 

“(Y/N)?” Eve can’t believe her eyes. 

“Eve, who’s at the door?” Lex calls out in the background. 

Eve was speechless that she couldn’t answer her husband. Lex was a tad worried that Eve wasn’t answering him right away. The man makes her way to the door and gives the same shocking reaction as his wife. 

“(Y/N)! You bastard! You’re alive!” He shouts with joy. 

You smiled at both of them. You step in to give Eve a hug and then give Lex the same affection. Immediately, Lex can tell that there’s something wrong. He just knows. The man has always been like a brother to you and he feels the same way too. 

The married couple lead you to the living room to have a more comfortable environment to catch up. They didn’t have to worry about being late to their work since they’re technically the bosses of their own department at L-Corp. Eve comes in with some tea and mini sandwiches for everyone. The three made small talk, giving them the truth about what really happened in the months you were missing. 

Lex and Eve felt sorry for you how much pain and recovery you have to go through alone after that accident happened. You assure them that it wasn’t a big deal and that you’re very happy to live another day. 

After the good catch up, Lex thought it was time to find out what was bothering you. 

“(Y/N). . Why exactly are you here? Aren’t you supposed to see your sisters first? Or perhaps Lena?” 

You looked to the side, took a deep breath and sighed loudly. Your mind goes back to Lena. 

“Did you know?” You vaguely ask your ex-girlfriend’s brother. 

“Know what?” Lex replies, Eve looks equally confused. This confirms that no one knows, especially your mother and Alex. 

“About Kara and Lena. . .” Lex thinks for a moment before he replies. 

“All I know is that they’re close. When you were away, Kara had been keeping Lena company.” 

You nodded. He’s telling the truth. Small anger was inside you but you’re mad at Lex. You start to get mad at yourself for not being around much. 

“I caught them. . . I found your sister with my sister. It was clear that the love bites and the flushed redden cheeks on Lena were from Kara. . .” 

Lex suddenly feels stupid for not seeing this. He thinks about how he didn’t see the little hints that his sister was having a lover, becoming a cheater. Eve looks at you with sad eyes, she gets up and wraps you in a hug. 

“(Y/N) I don’t know what to say . . . I just - I really didn’t know. If only I have seen it sooner I would have prevented Lena from making those-” 

“Lex no.” You interrupted him. “Your sister is her own person. She can decide what she wants to do. You couldn’t have prevented her feelings for someone else. I’m not mad at you Lex. You’re always like a brother to me. You have helped me so much and I will continue to do the same. Despite the situation. This is between Lena and I.” 

Lex sucks in his lips and nods, “Did the two of you officially break up or talk about it?” 

“No. I left right when I found out. My heart is really fragile at the moment but I promise you like I promised to Lillian years ago that I will not harm Lena in any way. I have never physically abused her and I will not let this dictate my actions.” 

“You’re a good person, (Y/N). I’m sorry that it had to come out like this. I was desperately waiting for the two of you to get married someday. Getting the chance to call you my sister-in-law.”

You sadly laugh. You almost forgot about the ring that was attached to your military dog tags. You reveal your necklace to Lex and Eve. Eve was the first to react fast. 

“(Y/N)! That ring looks so beautiful!” Eve focused on the diamond on the ring. It wasn’t too small nor too big. It was the perfect size. 

“Damnit Lena.” Lex says under his breath while his wife talks to (Y/N) about the ring. “You better realize that you threw out the best Danvers sister. This one was going to marry you.” 

[maseshine]

Oii! Você poderia fazer a fic da música "You Belong With Me" com o Ben? :)

Right for you, Ben Chilwell

Prompt: You being his best friend and at karaoke singing "You Belong With Me" to him indirectly.

Warning: Disappointment, Sadness

Words: 1811

Notes: I was really excited to write this one. It's one of my favorite prompts and I already had it written, I don't know if that's how you imagined it, but I hope you like it a lot because I loved it so much🤍

Author's Note: I know a lot of people write with the use of quotes, but I'm used to using the dash, so I hope it's not a problem.

Being in love with your best friend is one of life's biggest clichés.  And sometimes it really hurt to see him and his "perfect girlfriend".

You sure as hell wouldn't have gone to karaoke if you knew she'd be there too.  Ben was perceptive in hiding it from you.  Really insightful.

You tried to keep your attention on Mason's out-of-tune presentation, but his eyes always seemed to betray you when they landed on the couple sitting across from you.

━ If you keep looking at them like that they'll think you're a maniac.  ━ Christian said giving his shoulder a little push.

━ I don't know what you're talking about.  ━ You changed the conversation.

━ And Mason can sing well.  ━ The brunette joked.  ━ We already know of his crush on Chilly, only he doesn't seem to notice it.

━ Or he knows and just doesn't talk about it because he doesn't feel the same way about me. ━  His voice came out dismayed, and Christian looked at her sympathetically.

━ If he doesn't notice, maybe he's not right for you, Y/N.

You didn't say anything else, Christian's words running through your head.  Maybe he was right.  She and Ben had been best friends for years, but maybe they couldn't be more than that.

━ Our next singer is Y/N  Y/L/N.  ━ You looked at the stage with surprise, you didn't put her name in the performance list.

His eyes fell on Mason who smiled innocently.  Motherfucker.  The boys made noise encouraging you to go on stage.  You took a deep breath before getting up from the table.

Your hands shook a little as you took the presenter's microphone.  His eyes scanned the available songs, stopping at one that fit his situation perfectly.  His ears picked up the beginning of the melody.

You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset

She's going off about something that you said

'Cause she doesn't get your mood like I do

━ Babe... baby!  Come on, please calm down and listen to me!  ━ You heard Ben plead in the next room, your phone pressed firmly to his ear as he tried to reason with his current girlfriend.  All you knew was that he had shown his sincere side - apparently, not everyone knew he didn't have a filter.

But you knew the athlete more than anyone else, and he might need to stop and pull himself together occasionally, but it all came from his heart.

You were brought back to reality when you heard Ben grunt, dropping the phone against the table and running a hand through his hair.  You looked at him with sad eyes, reaching out and placing your hand over his so gently.

━ Want to talk about it, Chill?  ━ You asked him, watching as the corner of his lips twitched into a small smile with the nickname you gave him.

━ I don't believe you can save me from this situation, Y/N.  ━ Ben manages to say, clearing his throat to help transition into a new conversation.

You didn't want to push it any further - knowing that if Ben was comfortable enough, he would talk to you.  Hell, he told you everything.  Maybe it was because the two of you grew up together, so he had to hit puberty much faster.

Ben got undeniably hot fast, all the girls at his old high school noticed that.  You were about to ask him if he'd like to watch a movie, but his ringing phone interrupted, making you keep your mouth shut for now.

Ben suddenly straightened before grabbing the screen, a hopeful look flashing in his eyes as his girlfriend's name was projected in capital letters and a series of heart emojis.  You rolled your eyes with a small smile and gestured for him to take the call, swallowing your pride seconds after he left the room.  You left the house not long afterward, knowing you probably won't see your childhood friend for at least another week.

Walk in the streets with you and your worn-out jeans

I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be

Laughing on a park bench thinking to myself

Hey, isn't this easy?

You kicked a few pebbles off the path as you walked, with Ben by your side.  It felt strange for the two of you to be together – but a strangely comfortable stranger, as if life was supposed to be like that.

He was trying to chat a little about the weather, which quickly turned into a funny story of how he fell face first in the rain during last Friday's football game.

Her eyes were mesmerized by him as he threw his head back in laughter, his hands maneuvering in strange ways as he portrayed how the event actually happened.  You returned his laugh as you placed your hand on his bicep to steady yourself, little snorts following after.

━ I can't believe you still do that. ━  Ben said, his hand briefly resting on top of hers to hold her against him.  You raised your eyebrows in sync with the corners of your mouth, your laugh dwindling to a small laugh.

━ Do what?  You'll have to elaborate, Chilly.  ━ With his free hand, Ben lightly tapped the tip of his nose while smiling at his nonchalance.

━ That cute snort you make when you laugh too much.  I hadn't heard this since we saw Madders get stuck in the invisible wall of tape.

The memory provoked her to put her hand to her forehead as she chuckled her iconic laugh once more, remembering poor James' shocked expression as he recovered from the seemingly transparent 'door' and the few seconds that followed where he was frozen trying to understand what had just happened.

━ This is definitely the sound of joy.  ━ Ben said as he looked at you, just for you to poke him playfully.

Oh, I remember you driving to my house

In the middle of the night

I'm the one who makes you laugh

When you know you're about to cry

The end of the week approached faster than expected, especially since you spent most of your time pretending you didn't get Ben's text messages.

You needed time to pull yourself together and organize your priorities, and having him suddenly want you back in his life was an unexpected twist.  You've always had a stupid crush on Ben, but unlike the vast majority of girls who did, yours started when you were both young ━ when you had just gotten rid of the braces, and he had already started playing for a football team for the first time.

It was Friday night, and you had just curled up under the sheets, trying to get comfortable as an oncoming storm began to form outside.  Your phone was constantly indicating that you had a new message, but it was just Ben asking if you were going to the football game tonight.  Like the other messages, you ignored it and continued your favorite show on Netflix.

It was midnight when your phone woke you, realizing that you must have accidentally fallen asleep.  You could barely hear the phone ring due to the weight of the rain outside, but you answered anyway, surprised to hear a familiar, desperate voice on the other end of the line.

━ Y/N… I'm down here… me, something happened.  I didn't know where to go... I just drove, and I ended up here... something in me, I needed to see you.  Let me in, please.

He looked distressed, perhaps because he was crying.  You went down to the front door and opened it carefully, suddenly coming face to face with a saturated Ben Chilwell.  You reached out and dragged him inside, your eyes scanning his wet, shivering body.

━ Ben... you're freezing, you're going to get sick.  ━ You exclaimed as softly as you could,  not letting go of his hand, as you led him to your room.

You gestured for him to stay put before grabbing a clean towel from the bathroom, running back and closing the door before wrapping it around your shoulders.  You sat on the edge of the bed as he stood in front of you, seeming to have something to say, but couldn't think of how to start the conversation.

━ Why are you here?  ━ You finally said after a long period of silence, Ben's eyes strayed to the ground.  He cleared his throat a few times before realizing he was just whispering.

━ I saw Charlie with one of the Aston Villa players.  She was on top of him.  I... I asked her what the hell was going on, she basically said I wasn't good enough. Do you believe that? ━ He said exasperated, his hands pulling at her wet hair as it stuck to her forehead.

You closed your eyes for a moment as you took in this information, able to feel Ben's pain from where she sat.  But it wasn't a new pain, it was like it was the kind that was finally released after being repressed for too long.  As if it knew it was coming and would hold out until the dreaded day.

You pursed your lips and rose from the bed, standing right in front of him before taking his wrists and pulling them down between the two of you, your thumbs gently stroking the skin of his knuckles.

━ But why are you here?  At home?  You could have gone to Mase or called Madders.  ━ You muttered, hoping his tone of voice would calm you down.

Those eyes you fell in love with as a teenager were looking at you, taking in your details, your passion, your heart.  They were kind, just like you always knew he was.

━ Something attracted me to you, as if I was destined to be here. Do you know?  ━ He spoke so low you could barely hear him, but you could hear him clearly.

Were you obsessing over him by running out of words, confused as to what he was trying to say – was it a confession of love or some pity plea because you were the only one who cared?  You nodded your head to understand what he was saying, feeling your own radiance toward him for a long time.

A week later, he had returned to his girlfriend.

Standing by and waiting at your backdoor

All this time, how could you not know, baby?

You belong with me

You belong with me

His eyes traveled to the table where all his friends were sitting, everyone paying attention to his presentation.  Except Ben and his girlfriend.  A pang of pain whistled through her heart.  At Christian's words coming back to her mind.

If he doesn't notice, maybe he's not right for you Y/N.

Have you ever thought just maybe

You belong with me

You belong with me

Maybe Ben didn't belong to you.  Not how you wanted it.

[narutogwriting]

What about an angst and/or fluff scenario where kiba opens up to his s/o about his father? Like he acts like it doesn’t affect him but one day his gf asks him about it and he lets his true emotions out? I love your writing and thanks if you decide to do it!!

I’m so sorry this has taken so long to get to this! I am absolutely in LOVE with this idea! I have started and restarted this prompt a million times because I really wanted to do this prompt justice. I hope you like it<3

Why Doesn’t He Want Me?

Pairing: Kiba Inuzuka x Reader

CW: none

Length: 2.6k+

Summary: Kiba was raised by two strong women. He’s never felt like he was lacking anything not growing up with a dad. That’s what he tells everyone, anyways.

Inspired by a scene from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air you know the one

Kiba was a lot of things. Arrogant, confident, loud, sure of himself.  He was hot, and he knew it, and he loved to flirt. It was easy to take him at face value, accept him for the playboy he pretended to be. But that wasn’t really Kiba, you knew.

Kiba had been raised by the definition of strong women. Between his mom, Tsume, and his sister, Hana, there was no room in his life for disrespect towards women. Despite the way he liked to pretend he was a player, Kiba held a deep reverence for all the girls in his life. Any sort of misogyny he’d picked up in the early academy days had been thoroughly scared from his body the second his mom had gotten wind of it.

Fight like a girl? Run like a girl? Act like a girl? None of those things were insults to Kiba. He saw the way his mother and sister fought, the way they ran, and how strong they were. Kiba’s whole life had been shaped by having a mother and sister that raised him.

And Kiba loved the way he grew up. Sure, his mom could be a little scary at times. But she was tough and strong willed and independent. Hana was a little softer, though Kiba wasn’t sure how she’d managed to end up that way considering how hard their mother was. They were a perfect contrast to each other to help Kiba become a relatively well rounded guy.

Kiba knew that he had known his dad when he was young. He had been too little to remember him, but he had one picture of his dad holding him when he was a baby that was tucked away back somewhere in his closet. The few times his mom--in all her fury--mentioned his father, she’d vent over the way he’d left her alone with a two year old and an eight year old child.

She didn’t talk about him much ever. It was a sore spot for his mother, he knew. She didn’t have many weaknesses, but being left by Kiba’s dad had really done some damage to her.

It was out of love for his mom and respect for her hurt that Kiba made it a point to never even think about his dad. When people would ask about him, Kiba would sometimes make jokes that he’d been too weak willed to handle a woman like his mother, but that was the extent of him talking about his dad.

And he thought it must’ve been true, though. His mother was amazing. His sister was amazing. What other reason could there be for his dad not sticking around?

~

Kiba’s a young child again, so young that he hasn’t even met Akamaru yet. He’s at the playground, reaching for the monkey bars. He can see his dad on the other side, waiting for him. Kiba’s happy, confident. He’s just two years old; he’s never been let down before, never had a bruise that hadn’t been kissed or a scratch that hadn’t gotten a bandaid on it. He’s never reached for someone and been left on the floor.

So Kiba grabs for the first monkey bars, his eyes securely fixed on the rings above his head. He doesn’t think to look to make sure his dad was there, because hadn’t he always been?

He reaches for one ring, and then the other, and he’s going quickly, surely. He’s half way across when his eyes flicker from the bars above him to the ground below him, looking a million miles away. The distance scares him, he falters, and when he reaches for the next ring, he misses.

Little Kiba goes barrelling to the ground, hitting the wood chips. They soften his fall just a little, but it still hurts. His eyes water as his lips begin to tremble, and reaches out, blinking blurrily through the tears. 

He’s reaching out, and he’s waiting, and he’s expecting his father to be there, to pick him up and rescue him and comfort him. 

But he doesn’t.

When Kiba can finally see past his tears, all he sees is his dad’s back as he’s walking away, leaving him on the floor, crying and hurt and alone.

He yells out for him, begging for his dad to come back even as he’s disappeared into the distance.

~

Kiba wakes with a cry, sitting up startled. He blinks, looking around the dark room. He’s in his bedroom, and it was all just a dream, he realizes.

More of a nightmare, really.

Kiba’s breathing hard, and he realizes he’s shaking. He tries to relax, take deep breaths as his hand reaches for his cheeks and sees that they’re wet.

He’s crying. He can’t believe that he’s fucking crying. “What the hell…” He mutters to himself, shoving his fists to his eyes to try to stop the tears. It was just a stupid dream.

You sit up slowly at Kiba’s side, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

“Kiba? You okay?” You murmur through your yawn. Glancing at the clock, you see that it’s about three am. Kiba usually sleeps through the night.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He mutters, but you know Kiba better than that. He’s shaken by something, and you slide one arm around him, resting your head on his shoulder as your free hand strokes through his hair.

“Kiba…” You say softly. He’s silent, but you don’t mind. You let the quiet drag on, letting him collect himself. You know Kiba doesn’t always have the words to describe what he’s feeling, and sometimes he just needs time to get his thoughts together. You wait patiently, hugging him reassuringly and letting your fingers massage his scalp softly.

After a while, Kiba sighs. “It was just a bad dream is all,” he tries to assure you, but you’re not so easily deterred.

“Do you want to tell me about it?” You ask him gently.

Kiba finally turns to you, seeing how you’re looking at him with those wide, concerned eyes. Since you’d been together, you’ve pushed him in the best ways. You had such a gentle, unassuming way about you that he’d never realized he needed. You were soft when he was hard, vulnerable when he was closed off, and you saw him when all he wanted was to hide away.

He never could keep anything from you.

He wipes at his eyes again, quickly, like if he does it fast enough, you won’t see it, but of course you do. You never miss anything  when it comes to Kiba. 

“I had a dream about my dad is all.” He says quietly, and you nod in understanding, but don’t say anything; just wait for him to continue.

Shifting uncomfortably, he tells you, “I was little, like two or something. I was on the monkey bars, and he was watching me, waiting for me on the other side, but when I fell, he left, and I was crying and shit. It’s stupid.”

“Kiba,” Your voice is low and soft, but stern, making him turn to look at you again. You’re gazing into his eyes so intensely it almost makes him flinch, but he stays locked in on you.

“It’s not stupid.”

And he lets out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding in. This is another thing about you that is so great for Kiba. Sometimes he thinks he needs some kind of permission to feel, like he doesn’t deserve it or it's not important enough. 

And of course he doesn’t need permission, but you give it to him anyways, let him know that it’s alright to feel hurt and sad.

Kiba looks lost and broken and so sad it makes your heart clench. You love Kiba, love him so much. You can’t stand to see him like this.

“You don’t talk about him much,” You finally say, deciding to help Kiba by directing the conversation. He just shrugs, staring at his hands. “Do you remember much about him?”

Kiba shakes his head. “Nothing, really. I was pretty young. I know one or two things that my mom’s told me, but she doesn’t like to talk about him. I’ve never asked Hana… I’m sure she has more memories than me, but I don’t really want to know them.”

That makes sense to you. It’s too painful; in a way, it’s a sort of bliss to Kiba to not be able to remember anything on his own. To ask Hana, to hear stories about his dad, would only open up wounds that Kiba wasn’t prepared to deal with.

“It doesn’t matter anyways,” Kiba continued. “Ya know, it was just a dream. It’s not like it means anything…”  

He lays back down, tucking himself under the covers like he’s done with the conversation. But he should know better. You’re not going to let him off that easily. 

“Actually,” you touch his cheek with your hand, slowly turning his head to face you. “I think that that dream has given me more insight into your feelings than you ever have.”

Kiba stares at you blankly because while the dream upset him, he really didn’t think there was more to it. You lay down next to him, tucking yourself into his side as you stare up at him with affectionate eyes. You love this man more than anything.

“The monkey bars are the childish side of you, showing that these feelings are coming from a stunted place because you were too young to process it all.” You explain to him, and he’s looking at you like you're crazy, but you don’t mind. “Your dad was waiting for you on the other side, because you feel like you had to go to him, like it was your responsibility to be the one to initiate and carry the relationship. You have a great mom, Kiba. You should know a good parent is always there for their kids, not vice versa. “

You kiss his cheek softly as your heart aches for Kiba and his sadness, the kind that had been buried so deep, even you hadn’t seen it there.

“The reason that your dad walked away when you didn’t make it across the monkey bars is because you feel like you weren’t good enough, like you did something wrong, and that’s the reason he left....”

Your voice cracks as you speak the words because it’s so tragic, and it’s just not true.

Kiba was the most amazing person you knew. He was so great, so full of love, and everything you never knew you needed in your life. And to realize that for so long he’d been holding this feeling like he wasn’t good enough… It broke your heart.

The silence seems to drag on forever, and it almost makes you nervous. You can’t read Kiba in the darkness, and it’s so quiet. But he’s slowly beginning to shake, and when you touch his cheek again, you realize that tears are flowing freely down his face.

“Kiba,” You say, but he’s getting out of bed. You don’t know whether or not to go after him, but he’s just going to his closet. He’s reaching to the back, throwing things aside to get to whatever he’s trying to find.

When he finally does, he comes back and sits on the bed. You push yourself up to look at what’s in his hands and see that it’s a picture. It's crumbled and creased and has a small stain on it, showing you how old it is. A closer inspection shows a toddler Kiba being held by a man that looks almost nothing like him. You see that Kiba got his nose from his father, and despite having the same canines as his mom, the softer smile from him too.

Kiba’s gripping the picture tightly in his hands, and you’re almost afraid he’s going to rip it.

“You know,” he rasps out, his teary eyes locked on the picture in his hands. “It’s been years since I looked at this thing. When I was little, I used to look at it every day. I kept it under my pillow and would study it, to make sure that if my dad ever came back, I would recognize him.”

He sniffles, rubs his nose. “I would look at it every night and then every day, I’d look around everywhere I went, hoping I’d catch even a glimpse of him.” Kiba laughs through the tears, a dry, humorless laugh that makes you wince in pain for him. He crumbles the picture into a ball and chucks it at the wall.

“I don’t need him, you know?” Kiba’s trying to keep his voice calm and steady, but the words wobble as they leave his mouth. “What would I even want him for, anyways, huh? He’s never done anything for me! I got into the academy without him, I became a chunin without him! I’m becoming a great ninja! I got a beautiful girl. Everything I know, I’ve either learned from my mom or taught myself!” 

He’s getting louder and louder with each word. His hands are balled into a fist, but you take them in your own, pressing your lips to them gently until they uncurl. You won’t let his pain harden him.

“I’m eighteen years old now! I can’t even remember my father! I always tell people he left because he couldn’t handle my mom, because she was too good for him, and it’s true!” The last word is broken by a sob, and he’s trembling as he collapses against you. You hold him with all of your strength and love, pressing kisses over his head as tears start to fall from your own eyes.

“She was too good for him, and so is Hana. But, you’re too good for me! You’re way too good for me, and I would never leave you! So he must’ve… He must’ve been unhappy with me.” He cries out. You can feel his tears soaking through your night shirt.

“I must’ve not been good enough for him… Why wasn’t I good enough? Why doesn’t he want me?” And it’s the presentense that really sends you over the edge. Not wondering why his dad hadn’t wanted him when he was younger, but needing to know why still, even now all these years later, his dad wasn’t around.

So you hold him as he cries, and you cry along with him. You place kisses over every crevice of his body, whisper “i love you’s” into the crook of his neck. You reassure him, over and over in every way you can think of that he is worthy, that he is enough. That he is not defined by somebody so broken that they couldn’t love anybody but themself.

You tell him as much as you can, until it’s ingrained into his brain, that if and when Kiba decides to become a dad, he’s going to be the type of man that his own dad could only dream of becoming. That, despite the pain, despite the abandonment, Kiba has come out on the other side, strong and loving and kind and a good man. The type of man that you are proud to have in your life, and proud to love and be loved by.

It’s emotional, and it’s heavy, and you both are worn and exhausted by the time the sun is breaking a light blue through the darkness. Kiba falls asleep in your arms, holding you like you’re his only anchor. 

And you know it’s not fixed. Some things that are broken will always stay cracked. But it’s a start. For the first time, Kiba is healing. He is Kintsugi, the art of putting broken pottery pieces back together with gold. Though there are cracks in him, for the first time, with your love, he is seeing that he can fill those cracks in. He can paint them golden, become more beautiful, more whole than he was before. He will use that pain and that hurt that he’s felt for so long. 

He is worthy. He is loved. He will be a better man.