#you’re gonna compare two boys falling in love and ending up together in a fictional story

[chirpsythismorning]

Not a redditor comparing the possibility of byler endgame to the likelihood of the earth being flat

[oikawaplssteponme]

original request: @bakugousmymassa Hi willow🥺❤️❤️ ok so this has been on my mind for so long and I hope it makes sense. Ok so bakugou x fem reader and like yk she’s simping for him through manga/anime little does she know he’s doing the same thing is his world. And like they start thinking about each other and it comes through in the manga/anime and like they somehow find a way to communicate through it and like their love/simping becomes so strong that she randomly pops up in the common room and the bakusquad/class 1a is like 👁👄👁 and like they kiss or whatever Ik it’s long and weird but like omg I can’t get it out my mind sorryyy😭😭

pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x fem! reader

warnings: some swear words

genre: fluff, a bit angsty

a/n: thank you so much for the request bb! i added my own twist to it so i hope you like it!!

finally done with all my inbox requests!! 99% of them were bakugou in which i had zero complaints. i am here for all your bakugou needs 🤩i got a bit carried away with writing this so that’s why im letting it have it’s own moment☺️ i loved writing this and i would love to hear your thoughts on it (reblogs are greatly appreciated too🧡) enjoy xx

•

It was your favorite bookstore. It was where you bought your first manga. It was where you found a love for all these complex characters and incredible storylines. This bookstore seemed to satisfy every craving you had in regards to a 2D boy to fawn over. So there was no surprise that when you strolled into the bookstore, you headed straight to where the My Hero Academia mangas were.

You had read them all, even watched the anime. For some reason, you just kept coming back. You couldn’t get enough.

Something on the bookshelf had caught your attention. Among the original mangas, there was one lone book, different from the rest. You stared at the cover. It had your favorite character on it, keeping you intrigued. You had never seen this one before. Was it a side story? Was it a new release? If so, why would there only be one? Out of your own curiosity, you decided to buy it.

You handed the bookstore cashier the manga and your money. They looked at you, simply smiling.

“Is Katsuki Bakugou your favorite?” they asked.

“Yeah, he is,” you smiled. They handed you the book.

“Unfortunately there are no returns on this special edition. I guess you’ll be stuck with him,” they said. You chuckled, taking their comment as a joke.

“I’m okay with that.”

~

Once you were home, you sat down on your couch and pulled out the book, opening it up.

“What the…”

The pages were blank. The entire book had nothing in it. No words, no drawings, just plain white paper.

“How can you sell an empty book?” you groaned. You thought you had wasted your money on this. You set the book down, staring at the blank page angrily.

Suddenly, one spot of ink appeared on the page. Then more. Your eyes grew as the pages created their own drawing in the corner.

“This isn’t happening…”

You stared at the drawing, stunned.

“What kind of idiot buys a book before opening it first,” read the text bumble. On the page was a drawing of Katsuki Bakugou, his arms crossed with his classic smirk.

“H-How did you just…”

Another drawing began to appear next to the original.

“What? Never seen a self-drawing manga before? Come on dumbass, keep up with me here.”

You couldn’t believe your eyes. Bakugou was talking to you, through a manga.

“B-But you’re not real… you’re just a drawing…”

“Sure I’m a drawing right now, just as you are a drawing on my end. Doesn’t make me or you any less real.”

“Why are you talking to me… how did you find me?”

“Well, how did you find out about me?”

“I read about you in my mangas and I watch your show…”

“Then there is your answer gorgeous. I do the same.”

“I’M A CHARACTER IN A MANGA?” Your brain couldn’t seem to process everything that was happening.

“Of course you are. Damn, you aren’t the brightest…”

“B-But then how did I get your book? Anyone could have bought it.”

“Well me and Shitty Hair figured out a way to leave something behind for you. So that’s how you can talk to me through the book,” explained Bakugou.

“This isn’t happening...this is a lot to process right now. You’re like my dream guy but you’re supposed to be fictional and I’m not entirely sure what to do with all this new information,” you sighed.

“I can explain better in person.”

“I’m sorry, what-”

“Go grab a pen.”

“Bakugou-”

“Go grab a pen Y/N.”

You did as you were told, grabbing the nearest pen.

“Okay now what?”

“Go to a new page and draw yourself, like how I am,” Bakugou instructed. You were skeptical but did it anyway. You created a small box and drew yourself, resembling a manga panel.

“Now write your location as ‘in the common area’.”

“This has to be some kind of fever dream…”

“Just do it dumbass.”

You carefully wrote your desired location.

“Okay now what?”

“I’ll see you later dumbass,” smirked Bakugou. Your eyes grew.

“What- no you can’t just leave-”

“Bye nerd.”

No new panel appeared. You sighed, still in shock.

“There’s no way that was real…”

You set the manga down and laid on your back. You felt a wave of exhaustion come over you. You yawned, slowly falling asleep.

~

“Be quiet, you’re gonna wake her up!”

“How did she even get here?”

“Do you think Bakugou would be mad if I asked her out?”

“It’s not like she would say yes…”

“HEY-”

“Shit I think she’s awake....”

You felt groggy. As if you had been sleeping for days. You slowly started to open your eyes. People-like figures hovered around you.

“Back up, give her some space…”

You sat up, rubbing your eyes. The room was bright. The yellow-tinted walls and green floor caught your attention.

“Where am I…”

“UA High! A prestigious academy made for creating the world’s best Heroes!”

“Wait… Iida?”

“Correct!”

You soon realized what had happened. You looked around to all the familiar faces.

“Iida, Deku, Jirou, Kaminari, Momo, Mina, Kirishima, Todoroki…”

“Damn you’re good!” smiled Denki. You couldn’t believe it. You had some how made your way into your favorite story.

“Am I in the anime?”

“What anime?” asked Todoroki.

“Our anime! Or manga whichever you prefer!” smiled Deku.

“This has to be a dream, right?”

“How? You just woke up?”

“Todoroki it was a rhetorical question…”

“Oh…”

“Um where is Bakugou?” You asked. Everyone smiled.

“He’s waiting outside. You can go meet him,” explained Kirishima. You gulped. It’s not every day you get to come face to face with your fictional crush. Well, not so fictional now.

“Uh okay…” You stood up from the couch, beginning to make your way out the door. Taking a deep breath, you opened the door.

Bakugou was sitting on the steps of the dorms. His heart was beating out of his chest, though he wouldn’t admit it. He twiddled his thumbs as he waited for you to show up.

“H-Hey…” you whispered. Bakugou perked up, immediately standing up and turning around to face you. He looked at you with widened eyes. The both of you just stared at each other for a bit, fathoming the idea that you were really there. Seeing him on a screen or on a page was nothing compared to seeing him in real life.

“Damn…” he mumbled.

“What?”

“You’re beautiful.”

Even though this was technically your first meeting, the two of you weren’t strangers. You knew everything about each other. The endless admiration through pages seemed to have led you here. Exactly where you were supposed to be.

“How is this even real?” You questioned. Bakugou chuckled.

“You do realize your world isn’t the only one out there. So I had to take you to mine.”

“So I’m like a character you read about?”

“Yeah, just as I am that to you. I read your story just as you read mine. It’s not that complicated.”

“Why me though?”

Bakugou took a step towards you. He smiled, taking your hand.

“Why wouldn’t I take the opportunity to meet someone I’ve always dreamed about?”

Your face got hot as you tried to hold back your smile. You squeezed his hand.

“I’m glad you did.”

“Then let’s go dumbass,” he said. You raised a brow.

“What?”

“Well we have to write the rest of the book, don’t we? Come on, I’ve only got you for 300 more pages,” He explained.

“Wait there’s a limit on this?”

“Don’t worry about that now. Now come on, we’ve got shit to do.”

~

You and Bakugou spent the entire day together. He showed you around Musutafu, introducing you to all his favorite places. He showed you his favorite places to train, his favorite restaurant, where he likes to buy his mangas, and even where he found the book that brought you here.

You couldn’t help but take mental notes while you were with him. His hair was a lot softer than you imagined, and he actually did smell of sweet caramel. His red eyes weren’t intimidating at all, actually, you found them adorable. Bakugou had little patience, which you figured correctly. As you held his hand, he would mumble soft ‘sorry’s’, afraid that his hands were getting sweaty. You reassured him that he was fine. That caused his cheeks to blush.

The two of you sat at a park bench, enjoying the view of the city before you. Your head was rested on his shoulder as you held onto his arm. You couldn’t believe this was real. The boy you spent ages crushing over through a screen actually felt exactly the same. It was better than words.

“I wish there were fireworks,” you said. Bakugou chuckled. He removed his arm from your grip.

“Here. How’s this?”

Bakugou started to create mini-explosions in the palms of his hands, resembling fireworks. You stared at the beautiful sparks. Your smile was contagious. You looked up at him but he was already looking at you. You felt your face turn hot.

“So how many more pages until I’m allowed to kiss you?” blurted out Bakugou. You flinched. The burning in your cheeks grew stronger. You smiled.

“None.”

You grabbed the collar of Bakugou’s shirt and pulled him towards you. You crashed your lips together. He gently cupped your face as he held you close. The way he kissed you was beyond anything you could have ever imagined. His heart was beating out of his chest too. He was looking forward to seeing you in person just as much as you were, maybe more.

You looked at Bakugou. His face flushed pink, a cheeky smile from ear to ear. He wrapped his arm around you.

“Wait I have something for you,” you remembered, “I don’t really know how these work but I thought you could use it too.”

You had handed Bakugou a book, similar to the one he had left for you.

“I just think we deserve another volume,” you grinned. Bakugou kissed the top of your head, taking the book.

“I think so too.”

~

You woke up to the sound of your phone ringing. You stretched and rubbed your eyes. Then you remembered.

“Was I really there?” you mumbled. You tried to orient yourself, still slowly waking up. You reached for the manga that sat on the other side of your couch. You took a deep breath opening it up.

The pages were no longer blank. They instead were filled with perfectly detailed drawings of you and Katsuki Bakugou, following the storyline you had just experienced. You wiped the stray tear from your eye and brought the book to your chest.

“Until next time, Katsuki Bakugou.”

•

[general taglist (form in masterlist) : @lealofsblog @iwaisa @bakugousmymassa @roesaurus @evivn1 @astrooliver @tetsoleil @bokutory @vangoghmusings @moonlightaangel @complimentaryhugsgirl ]

[jacepens]

Hey, how u doing? I wanted to ask for you for indications on washette fanfics, what are the best that you have

p.s. and yes, I do want to hear as well about yours in that list as well, 'cause they're gold

Hey! I'm doing alright:) Thanks for asking! What about you? (is this the correct tumblr to anon etiquette?)

Oh goodness this is such a loaded question because the answer is many. I hope you're alright with a big list sorted by category <3

Fluff! Fluff!!

The French Mistake

One of the first washette fics I read, so it holds a special place in my heart. A little silly, a little lams, ultimately very cute and good time.

Under the Arches of Moonlight and Sky

Just very good, cute, soft weary bed sharing. (this is only wholesome, I swear)

Let's Dance

Short, sweet fic with dance instructor George and our beloved two left feet Laf:)

I Like You Better in Real Life

Did someone say Influencer/Youtuber!Laf and President!George?? No??! Well start and read this fic. Seriously, it's a longer one, and just really damn cute. A bit of slow burn in terms of internalized homophobia (done in a good way) and trans Laf?? Yes. It's really so good.

The Prince

Ok, ok, it's one of mine. The one chapter is deceiving, it's decently long and featuring Prince!Laf and Royal Knight!George!:) Also magic!! angst, fluff, denial of feelings but then of course love confessions;) after angst though, don't worry haha.

Fathoms and Foundlings

Ooooohh boy. This. This one. Mermaid Laf and regular ol George! So so so well written, I mean, the feelings, the war, the weather, literally everything you can name, it's spectacular in this fic. Be warned, it is incomplete, but I remember when the latest chapter was released when I lost all hope (plus the author is still active) so I definitely don't count this one out of being updated!:) But, I'll be honest, I'm unsure about it being finished BUT I still think you should 1000% read this because you really will not find something like it anywhere else and it's just so cute!! Did I mention fucking amazing?

Whom can we trust now?

Platonic washette!! Really well written and just altogether really well put together!:) comfort after Arnold's betrayal! Seriously, I highly recommend this fic it's just so perfect of their relationship and cuuute.

The Particulars of Language

Oh goodness. Oooh goodness. This is so so cute. A nice little blend of angst and fluff and did I mention internalized homophobia? (In a good way, if that makes sense) Also so well-written by an incredible author, I just- language confusion. Need I say more??

Marque

Ok, ok, it's been too long since I read this one, so I will say, it is very tentatively going in this category. I just love soulmate au washette! Angst! Kidnapping? ...no final chapter. So I'm not sure, it could've been planned on ending very happy and fluffy! I do believe overall, this leans on the darker side, but I know I really love this one and they love each other. I want more washette soulmate aus.

Breaks your heart, puts it back together

what's my name, what's my station

Oh God oh fuck it's this one. (said with love). Brutal? Hot? Expanding my vocabulary?? An incredibly beautiful use of metaphors??? Actually feel like crying when I read it. Yeah. This is amazing.

May the Melody Disarm Us

Oh Godd oh Fuck it's this one. (maybe I should change this section's title) this one isn't even angsty per se, it's just like...brutally beautiful. They love each so much but oh my god. The metaphors, the way the author sets the scene and environment and everything! Ugh. So so good.

Let Down My Guard

Oh dear lord in heaven above preserve me. I'm gonna be dramatic but there are simply not enough words in the universe I have that can describe how I feel about this fic and how damn incredible it is!! And boy do I mean it when I say this one breaks your heart and puts it back together. I have seriously never sobbed over any piece of fiction like I did this. Just ahhhh. The feelings they develop for each other, the confusion of cultures, the secrets revealed?? I didn't even tell you Laf is a mermaid yet. Just- please. Please read this. It will rip your heart out, but it will put it back together. But really, this is just a fucking masterpiece and so so beautiful.

Porn With Plot

that dress you like

Very nicely done smut + feels! (Did I mention how nicely it's all done?) Oh! Did I mention genderqueer Laf? Yes.

Mon General / My Marquis

Ok the only reason this is going in this category is because I find the others up there more heart-breaky than this one. I love this one!! The historical details! Their loving relationship!! Very very good and lovely. With some angst of course.

The Mistranslation

Oh God oh Fuck it's this one. (I'll be saying that a lot). Would you like all these categories put into one beautiful fic?? Here it is, here. It's incredible. Please read it. It's free serotonin. (Did I mention incredibly written??)

The Things I Would Do to You

Ahhh ok. So. Super duper sweet, lots of angst sprinkled throughout but Laf's visit to Mount Vernon + feels + (smut). Need I say more??! Seriously, this is wonderful.

Not So Easy to be the Teacher's Pet

Oh. Oh god it's this one. So this is borderline Oof (Laf is 17) but if that does not bother you, then you are in for a treat!(??) Ok but really, lots of feels, denial of feelings, way-too-sweet-for-his-own-good Lafayette and poor confused George. Just fantastic.

Devil to Pay

Hoooo boy. If you like pirates or sea adventures, (hot pirate captains. I'm just gonna say it) then I'm literally begging you to read this. Kidnapped noble Laf?? Slowly falling for the pirate captain Washington?? Not to mention so many maritime details and wonderful emotions, beautifully crafted just. Spectacular. Please, read it if you haven't. Even if pirates don't appeal to you, they will after this fic.

A secret weapon

Ahhhh!!! Thiiiiiis. Is everything. Ok, yes, it includes more than washette, but I mean come on, it's (sexy) demons. It's desperate Washington trying to win a war and fight his gay feelings (guess which fight he wins?) But also, super well written and detailed and feels!! I adore this fic, and the whole series is a treat. Go read it. It's wonderful, you won't regret it.

Oof (not in a good way)

The Sweet Enjoyment of Partaking

If the not-so-sweet side intrigues you more, this is one of the few washette fics that I do love and is...not so nice. It's really good as a not nice piece! Pretty straightforward and fucked up. Ya (I) love to see it.

Transmutation

Oooohhhhhh. This is a fic I didn't read for a while just because I didn't know what it was but boy let me tell you, it is soo good. I'll say it's not as oof as the fic above, but oooh maaaannnnn. I don't know how to describe it just, don't expect sweet things, but if darker takes are your thing please go read this. You will not regret it. It's so damn good.

OW

Day One Way, By Night Another

Ok ok here me out. This one might seem a bit random and it is. It's very short and for the longest time I didn't read it until I did and said ow because ow!!? I find this has the most impact going in unarmed so...watch out. (but like check it out. it's just so unique I really do love it)

Once More, With Feeling

Oh GOD. This one is quite brief and straightforward but if you are looking to rip your heart out with feels and angst then boy do I have the perfect fic for you. But seriously, it's so well-written and just expresses all the feelings so so perfectly. But at what cost? (Pls read it)

A Beautiful Tragedy

Hello darkness my old friend. Ok but seriously, this fic still remains so impactful in my own mind just as the writer. It's not a happy ending, but I try to leave you with hope. Pretty music that I highly recommend listening to, I don't know. I think it's really good, I don't say that often about my own stuff soo if you're ok with heavy amounts of angst and pretty aesthetics then check this ok!:) (but guard your heart, sorry not sorry<3)

Porn Without Plot

Betrayals and Allies

So, admittedly, this one very tentatively goes into this category because I find compared to the others, this one has less feels and less focus on it, but don't get me wrong this is very emotional!! It displays their relationship and love so cutely (and smutily..? new word) and as extra bonus it fills in the gaps of the deleted scene from Turn. You know the one;) It's very good!!

Cold Nights

Look at me adding another of my own. This is super duper short, but I kinda like how the emotions turned out. I think this was the beginning of my first dive into my current style of writing so that's cool I guess? But yeah no, it's porn without plot lol.

What Good is Honor When You're Starving?

Oh dear, another of mine in this category. I barely put this here, but the main focus is on the smut, but there are many many feels aplenty. Oh wait, did I mention vampire Laf? George definitely not falling in love... but really, I like how this one turned out!:) Good sexy vampire times (with feelings)

Ah wow! You stuck with me! Thank you! I...tried to keep it brief. This is not an exhaustive list by any means btw, there were a few (many) I decided to cut because I wanted this list to be all encompassing of many authors, styles, etc.

But anon, thank you for the ask and giving me the chance to rant about my favorite fics! My apologies on taking so long to finish, I hope you can understand my life has been a little hectic, but I always try to make time for washette;)

Thank you!!<3

[slashingdisneypasta]

Hi! If you don't mind could you write me some headcanons about being bff with some female cp's? Like Jane, Nina, Clockwork, Nurse Ann...?

One of my best friends is called one of these names so it was odd to write XD Some headcanon’s were totally true about her as well, and some definitely were n o t. XD

Anyway I’m not sure how comprehensive this is since I just kinda spewed it all out so, uh… I hope you like them! 😅

~~~

Clockwork:

·         Natalie stays at your house all the time and eats all your food. Girl has a FAST metabolism so you cannot tell, but she eats e v e r y t h i n g.

·         She doesn’t even have a key to your home, you just come home from everyday activities and she’s slumped in your couch cushions watching TV and there’s a pool on your bathroom floor from her shower and- oh, she has also ordered pizza so get your wallet out.

·         You just squint/glare at her before flopping on the couch beside her. She hands you the remote and gets comfier by you.

·         Even when you have a romantic interest over, she is there at your house, comfortable on the couch playing games on your phone as you walk your ‘friend’ to your room.

·         It’s not all frustrating though, she’s always there to protect you. There have been multiple burglaries that she has intercepted and ‘taken care of’. She’s honestly like a guard dog who also has an excellent sense of humour.

·         And don’t think she just wants you around for your apartment and money. Nay nayyyyyy nay. She tells you all about the Creepypasta drama and what’s going on at the mansion, even though you aren’t apart of that life.

·         And she calls when she’s away. Just calls up to talk to you.

·         You two are the kind of friends that don’t need to talk to each other all the time. In fact, you agree that talking to people all the time is annoying and too much trouble, and you could totally go without each other for days (Weeks even) if either of you were busy! But… without either of you even realising, you always end up contacting each other in one way or another every day, anyway. Its easy with you two. No romantic relationship could compare.

·         She was the groom and you were the bride in your make-believe weddings and mums and dads games as kids.

·         On Toby: “Okay Nat, I like Toby but I hope you know, if he hurts you… well there is absolutely nothing I can do to wreak revenge on your behalf, as he is a duo hatchet wielding psychopath, except maybe give him a stink eye. … When he is looking away and therefore cannot see the stink eye.”

·         More on the Toby subject: Clockwork once took you to Slender Mansion (Cuz you were targeted by a botched victim of hers because she cares about you and she wanted you close by to keep you safe until she could, like, finish killing the guy and all. Whatever though, no biggie. Pft, At least that’s how she made it out to be.) and she had to leave you for a moment so she handcuffed you and Toby together because he’s the only one she could trust to watch you.

·         It was very awkward for the two of you, but definitely a bonding experience. You were both very happy to see Clocky come back though.

·         HORROR. The world of horror is your favourite genre together. Supernatural horror, slashers, basement dwellers, vampires, werewolves, the blob, stalkers, murderers, psychological horror, black and white, colour, movies, tv shows, books- whatever. You two get so excited to experience new fictional horror.

Jane The Killer:

·         If you’re into boys, let me tell you right away- Jane is very critical of their actions. She was at a very influential time in her life (Especially concerning boys and girls and romance) when she met Jeff and Liu. She met those boys, thought ‘Oh, they’re cute. Maybe budding crush?’, and then Jeff killed her family, burnt down her home and ruined her life and Liu became an asshole, and now the male species has been, sorta… tainted. She knows there are good ones (In fact, m a n y boys are lovely, of course.), but one’s that you’re in romantic cahoots with are always going to be under her very watchful eye anyway so she doesn’t really bother to hold back her fear (Which translates into dislike… or hate) with them. So if you have boy problems, be careful. Provided you like this/these guy/s, at least. If you don’t like them, then she’s the perfect person to go to!

·         If you are a boy, then- of course, none of this applies to you. She loves you. Don’t worry. You’re her best friend!

·         Girls are an entirely different situation though of course. Jane drinks that love women juice every single day.

·         Jane is really good with altering clothes, so she’s the one you go to when you need help hemming something or taking something in. She likes to do it, too. Quality best friend time while not being lazy.

·         Speaking of her hating to be lazy… This does not apply at night. Nighttime is a whole other ballgame. Its bedtime by 7 for her if you don’t lock her into plans a week in advance. If she is braless and in her P.J’s, you will not be able to peel her from her home. Except for snacks, but even if she goes to the grocery store, she’s not getting changed and she’s going to wear her bunny slippers.

·         You two watch so many cartoons together. Gravity Falls, Star Vs The Forces of Evil, Over The Garden Hedge, Villainous, Looney Tunes, Ducktales, etc. Any and all that you can get your hands on.

·         You two are prepared to get platonically married, for any reason. Like, you need to stay in the country? Married; You’re staying. You’re the only one who can testify against hr in the court of law? Married, so by law you don’t have to. One of you accidentally planted yourselves with a kid and (Cuz you’re ride or die for each other, obviously), you’re gonna parent the child together and cuz of religious beliefs one of your would feel better about raising them together with a wedding band? Married.

·         Jane doesn’t drink, so when/if you get drunk she’s always there to keep you safe.

·         Jane also gets friend-jealous, a lot. Like, that bitch just called you her best friend, Y/N. Is she your best friend? I thought I was. So who is it, Y/N? Me or her? HM? (She is prepared to turn up to wherever you and this person are hanging, all glamorous and cool as she is, and show off. Prove she’s a way better friend then this new person so they back off).

·         When you were little, she was the bride and you were the groom in your wedding/marriage/mums and dads games.

Nina The Killer:

·         You have known her for both your entire lives and there have been iffy, and dark times but through hell and high water you have stuck with her. You love her. She’s your girl, you are her person too. You will be with her, and protect her from anything.

·         You are the only one in the world that loves her, really. You may not quite understand her weirdness, but you stick with her anyway because you love her.

·         Just like- baseline of your friendship is being ride or die for each other.

·         You were also really into Jeff, but at a more… healthy? Level? Like, you were still romantically interested in a real-life murderer, but you wouldn’t have done anything about it. You wouldn’t hurt anyone (Except to protect others) or victim blame, or contact the victims (Dear God) or whatever, but you would take peaks at fanfiction and gab with Nina about it. I mean, it’s not grand, but in comparison to Nina, hah… you were harmless.

·         Now though, that you’ve met him and he is the reason your bets friend is so hurt and broken, you are not the fondest of him. I mean, you still have a place in your heart for the version of him you and Nina made up in your heads (The version that Nina still believes is real) but that isn’t the real him. Jeff Woods is an ass. You need to keep your friend safe from him.

·         And uh… so nowadays… occasionally, you will find out where Jeff is (You keep an ear out) and, you know, just… lie your ass off to Nina. Yep. You tell her you heard that he’s in the opposite direction than he is so that she’ll unknowingly put more distance between him and her.

·         Yes. It’s a lie, but… its for the greater good! It’s for Nina’s mental health and physical safety.

·         Anyway, moving on to lighter things.

·         In your make believe mums and dads/’grown up’ games that you would play together as kids, you were a single parent and she was the dog.

·         She will lie for you in an instant. She’s also really good at it.

·         You walked into a room once and saw she was drawing something, and it turned out to be your joint tombstone. She has not let this go- you will be buried in the same plot together, if it is the last thing she does. This is slightly concerning, but… also kind of cute. You can roll with it.

·         “What if I get married or have kids?”

·         “They will need to apply with me to join. There will be an interview process.”

·         ‘What about pets?”

·         “Oh, they can come in! No fee!”

·         Do not underestimate her weight. If she doesn’t want you to leave, she will hold onto your leg and go deadweight, and you will s t r u g g l e.

·         Nina talks to herself, but she acts like the person she’s talking to is another person, inside her mind. You both know its not, but you refer to the other girl as Agnes anyway. Super casual.

·         Follows you when you go on dates (At least the first one with someone)to make sure all goes well and texts you rapid fire when she smells something fishy. Even the smallest thing.

·         You two really love dystopian teen fiction. Divergent? Matched? Hunger Games? Maze Runner? Ugles? Alllllll. You consume them and then watch the movies/tv shows too.

Nurse Ann:

·         Live-in medical services! This means you can get really cheap life insurance and not worry about it to much.

·         And on the topic of insurance… Ann is super smart, and organised, and just really awesome at practical stuff like that. Insurance, bills, mortgages, any kind of forms and receipts. And she’s happy to sit down and help you go through it- and, as we all know, everything is better when it’s with a friend you feel comfortable with.

·         You can tell Ann anything and she’ll just roll with it. No judgment. Either she takes it and lets you talk about it or she just acknowledges it and moves on.

·         Like Jane, Ann has very little patience for boy problems. In fact, she has zero time for it. Boys? Girls? No thank you. So if you’re into boys, I have some bad news for you.

·         Best friend maintenance. Occasionally, Ann will over work herself (with murder) and you will need to guide her to relaxation. Gently persuade her to sit down at the dinner table and just make idle chit chat with her every now and then as you make her a good, hearty meal (Or as good as you can do XD Anything between Beefy stew and a Cheese toastie will work fine, don’t worry. She’s not picky at all), and then watch some movies with her. No phones, no knitting, no drawing, no… whatever. No other activities except TV watching! She needs to rest. I’m always shocked at how relaxing just sitting and watching TV can be. There’s a big difference between doing that and multitasking.

·         Ann will call you to pretend there’s an emergency if you want to get out of social engagement.

·         A thing that two enjoy together is science fiction. Star Trek (Including the animation), The War of Worlds, the world of Star Wars, Dune, a Handmaids Tail, The 100, Eureka, etc. She loves the brainy stuff.

·         Ann is the logical friend, who tries to give the most practical advice and make pros and con lists and everything. And then you go ahead and do the crazy thing, the thing she said definitely would not work and would probably make things worse, and she just face palms and says she’s never getting mixed up in your mess again. … Until the next time, when she totally does.

·         “I love you Y/N, but I am not about to walk into a police office and bail you out of jail so do not do that.”

·         You trap her into resting by painting her nails (Hands and feet) in her sleep right before her alarm is about to go off so she has to take the morning SLOW or the paint will mess up. She just wakes up, you hold up a sign in front of her face that says ‘NAILS’ and she stops immediately. “You bitch.”

·         As kids, of course, the two of you would play make-believe family games and you were both mums (/ or you were the dad). She was the working mum and you were forced to stay home take care the baby (large container of vitamins with a face drawn on).

[rayofspades]

How to Write a Horror Story: The Magnus Archives

This post is kinda weird since most tumblr fandom content is based on the assumption that Everyone Has Seen The Thing, but since this is a transcript of a video essay, it’s more broad. 

I might link the video in a reblog since, you know, tumblr doesn’t like links.

Anyways, here’s the post:

Hello Jon, apologies for the decep-

I’ve seen a lot of mystery shows in my day, and some supernatural shows, and the common thread between them is that they kind of...fall apart as they go on. 

Obviously, this is a generalization and I haven’t seen every mystery show or every paranormal show, but it’s a pretty common problem. 

At this point in pop culture criticism, it’s basically common knowledge that these shows fall apart due to a lack of planning. If a mystery series is making shit up as it goes along while trying to surprise the audience, it’s going to stop making sense at some point. And if an episodic paranormal show is constantly trying to up the stakes, eventually it’s going to become absolutely ridiculous and stretch the audience’s suspension of disbelief past a breaking point. 

Other people have already talked about this stuff to death, but today I want to talk about a paranormal mystery show that actually succeeds at what it set out to do.  

The Magnus Archives is a podcast written by Jonny Sims and directed by Alexander J. Newall. It ran from 2016 to 2021 and it’s...really really good. It’s an episodic horror story, taking place at the fictional Magnus Institute where the head archivist reads various statements about people’s encounters with supernatural entities. It’s got it all; scary stories, mystery, an overarching plot, office comedy, office romance, office tragedy, a villain that’s making straight men everywhere question their sexuality, and an overall really solid structure. 

If you listen to the Q+As put out by the writer and director, you’ll hear them talk about how they planned the series from the beginning, setting up the layout for each season. Some things were definitely changed throughout the actual writing process; that’s just inevitable and necessary when you’re working on a long running show, but in a general sense, they knew where they were going. But, writing a good story doesn’t just involve knowing where you’re going; it’s about executing whatever plan you have effectively. And I think the execution of The Magnus Archives is pretty brilliant, so I want to talk about it. 

And for the record, I said “brilliant,” not “perfect.” I do have a lot of criticisms of this show, and I’m definitely going to talk about those too, because honestly? Even the problems with this show are interesting in their own right. 

Ok, let’s go. 

Oh, spoilers by the way. For the whole plot. Whole thing. 

Part 1: Horror and Mystery 

Ok, so The Magnus Archives has two separate plots going on: the episodic stories that can be listened to individually, and the underlying meta plot. The former is where most of the mystery storytelling takes place, and it’s a really engaging mystery. It’s starts off slow, and almost undetectable at first. The main character, Jon, also known as The Archivist, is just reading out old scary stories that people have delivered to the Magnus Institute. Stuff like; a college student sees a ghostly inhuman figure asking for a cigarette, a woman’s fiancé dies and she finds herself trapped in an empty graveyard, there’s this goth kid who apparently murdered his mother and then skinned her? But she’s kind of still alive? What the f*ck? Hope we never see that kid again. Also, this “Jurgen Lietner” guy wrote a bunch of cursed books and Jon knows about this? Are more books gonna come up? And then you’re like, wait is the goth kid who killed that burn victim the same goth kid who killed his mom like 8 episodes ago? Holy shit the family of that girl’s dead fiancé FUNDS THE MAGNUS INSTITUTE? Did this famous youtuber meet one of the missing people from episode one? The goth kid is back and he’s looking for Leitner books? The name “Michael” has come up like 6 times? Are they all the same guy? I just—who the f*ck is Jurgen Leitner? 

So yeah, as you can see, a lot of these stories connect in cool ways, and I’ve only mentioned like, 0.2 percent of all of those connections. Furthermore, these stories are told out of chronological order, and sometimes the same scenario appears in more than one statement, told from different perspectives. This asymmetrical storytelling and odd doling out of information creates a mystery that’s really interesting. It also makes for a great re-listen, since you can retroactively see what elements were set up before you even realized that they were going to come back.  

The audio format contributes to this too; you can’t just see that the table from episode three matches the pattern on the box in episode eight. You have to pick up on clues that were mentioned and pay attention to what people are describing, and it’s highly rewarding when the pieces all start to fit together. 

There is a bit of a downside to this though. Technically The Magnus Archives is a horror story first and a mystery second, and these two elements can mesh in weird ways. 

The horror is element is really strong. Each story is completely different, sometimes focusing on psychological horror, body horror, or supernatural versions of more primal fears like heights, darkness, enclosed spaces, etc. Basically, if you’re afraid of anything, there will be at least one episode of The Magnus Archives that gets under your skin. 

Jonny Sims can really sell his stories through both his writing and acting. He plays Jon, by the way, and plagiarized his own birth certificate for the character name. (For future reference, Jonny is the actor, Jon is the character). Overall, he’s really good at writing prose, and each narrator has a very distinct voice even though the large majority of the stories are being read by one character/actor.  

Obviously not every episode is a bull’s eye. Sometimes it’s due to the subjectivity when it comes to what you as an audience member are scared of, and occasionally it’s just weird writing decisions. I’m thinking specifically of episode 21 where the line “the sky ate him” is said, and it is the worst line in the entire show. The whole goddamn show. That’s it. That’s the number one worst line. 

But still, overall, the horror storytelling is incredibly solid, and some episodes even gave me brand new fears, like the unholy isolation of being in space, or the concept that someone you love could be replaced by someone completely different without you noticing.  

But here’s the thing; 

A lot of good horror is based on the absence of explanation. Most of the episodes that gave me the most visceral reactions of genuine terror come from the first two seasons, because that’s when the audience has the least amount of information. 

For example, in episode two, a really terrifying coffin is introduced. It’s creepy, it reacts very strangely to water for some reason, and appears to compel people to try opening it. By the end of the episode, the audience never finds out what’s in that coffin and that is a good thing. That is a huge part of what made that episode so unnerving.  

And then a few seasons later, we do find out what’s in the coffin, and to be fair the answer is both very creative and very scary, but it also takes a lot of the punch out of episode two. 

 No matter how f*cked up your thing is, it’s not going to compare to whatever the audience can conjure up in their own mind after such a creepy set up. This problem isn’t just stuck in this one scenario either; there are a lot of early episodes that, while still good, seem a lot less creepy in hindsight after you learn more about the scenario. 

I don’t think it’s bad writing, but I do think it’s a double-edged sword. Jonny Sims even mentions this sort of issue in the first Q+A. 

But yeah, to sum up; the narration is good, the ideas are creative, and seeing the mystery unfurl itself is deeply compelling. And for the record, the mystery elements aren’t of the Sherlock Holmes variety. It’s less about finding out who did the thing, and more about discovering how all of these individual points are intricately connected, pulling on each other as they move. Woven together like a... oh shit what’s the word? Gah, it’s on the tip of my tongue. Ah, whatever, I’m sure it’s not like a running motif or anything.  

Part 2: Stakes 

One of the main reasons I stopped watching Supernatural is that it devolves into complete f*cking nonsense. At the end of season five, the boys literally defeat the devil, and then the show...keeps going? Which would be fine. It’s also, largely, an episodic show, so if they have more creative ideas, they could definitely keep going with it. In fact, there are some post season five episodes that I thought were pretty good. But as they kept trying to outdo themselves with Bigger Bads, it got kind of difficult to suspend my disbelief. And the final nail in the coffin for me was the end of season nine, when Crowly basically points out to the audience that the main characters keep dying and coming back to life, so there are no stakes. The most-badest bad guy can always be defeated because some new Thing can just come out of left-field, and dying isn’t even on the table as a threat since people have tons of ways of coming back to life. 

The Magnus Archives, while being a show based in the supernatural, notably doesn’t bring anyone back to life, even though some very beloved characters die. I say “notably,” because in the season three Q+A, Jonny even says, “We make a point not to bring people back from the dead in Magnus, I know it sometimes feels like that, but we are very careful to never actually resurrect anyone.” 

Upon listening to this I said “oh my god, these guys are the only writers left who at least kind of know what they’re doing.”  

Also, as far as plot progression goes, The Magnus Archives is lowkey structurally perfect in the way the threats escalate in the underlying plot; both in terms of destruction and power and in terms of emotional consequences. Season one starts off with one major threat that’s dealt with by the end of the season, season two reveals the main villain, season three lays out the grander forces at play, season four ends the world, and season five is about un-ending the world. The difference between season one and season five is vast, but how we got there makes perfect sense. 

As for the emotional stakes, let’s talk about themes and characters. 

Part 3: Themes and Characters 

At the very end of season two, it’s revealed that the supernatural happenings in the Magnus universe are the result of entities far beyond our understanding. Since their existence is so fundamentally different from what we can comprehend, they interact with the world through cursed items, creatures, and humans who have dedicated themselves to an entity.  

A lot of people read this as a metaphor for late-stage capitalism, and I am one of those people. A bunch of faceless entities exploiting humans through means of dehumanization and causing people to suffer because it feeds them seems like an appropriate metaphor. 

While we’re on this topic, I do want to talk about Elias, since he’s the main villain of the entire series and also one of my favorite villains of all time. The Magnus Archives is a series that deals with a lot of moral questions and has a lot of characters who do morally questionable things, so one might assume that the villain of said series is, you know, morally ambiguous and sympathetic to some extent despite being “the bad guy.” 

Nope! No stops, full bastard. It’s great. 

He falls under what I’ve deemed the “unbeatable boss” archetype. He just doesn’t tolerate insubordination or resistance, and that combined with his lack of empathy means that anyone who crosses him is either killed or brought to heel. His power set is cool too. On the surface the ability to see out of any eye and read minds sounds useful, but not deal breaking, but the way he uses that power to manipulate people and anticipate threats...yeah, it makes him kind of impossible to beat.  

He’s just...so evil and he loves being evil and every single f*cking thing he does pisses me off and makes me want to kill him. It’s. Great. 

Anyways, I think Elias’s role as the central antagonist is what makes the capitalist reading so common. He’s the head of the institute, he’s wealthy, he’s powerful, and he dehumanizes people in ways that are both brutal and chillingly indifferent. He seems like an appropriate stand in through that lens. 

I also love how voice actor Ben Meredith plays him like’s he’s trying to seduce the audience.  

With all of that said, I wouldn’t call this the critique of capitalism a direct allegory or anything; in much looser terms, this could be a metaphor for any power structure that exploits humans. Organized religion or cults might be even more on the nose, considering there’s a lot of mentions of rituals and worship within the show. 

But if we boil it down to its barest aspects and focus on the avatar characters, The Magnus Archives is a series about people becoming monsters. Or, at the very least, becoming worse versions of themselves. That can mean a lot of things to different people in a metaphorical sense; the tense relationship between desperation and morality, the eagerness to please at the cost of one’s own mental health, the psychological traumas that lead people down dark paths, and how personal choices can still be dictated and manipulated by outside influences. It’s kind of heavy stuff, but put into a digestible package through the show’s abstractions. 

Well, for the most part.  

There’s some debate as to whether or not Daisy’s arc was handled tastefully. While her demise and Basira’s character arc were clearly meant to condemn police brutality and the deeply corrupt system that allows it to foster, it’s still a weird subject to discuss in such a fantastical context, and there is a strange sympathy for the devil angle that can get kind of uncomfortable for some listeners.  

Okay, stepping back from that for a bit, let’s talk about Jon and how he fits into this whole “people becoming corrupted” thing. 

Jon has one of my favourite brands of character arc, which is one based in deterioration alongside growth. The most obvious way this takes form is his departure from humanity as his relationship with the Eye drives him to psychologically harm others, and he finds himself sympathizing more and more with the people he was afraid of, stating in episode 152 that anyone listening to his recordings might compare him to the other avatars that have had their minds and morals twisted. 

Over the course of the series, he is repeatedly traumatized and the show makes a point that he is being both physically and emotionally scarred. These happenings are what drive his motivation for revenge in season five, and he even states that revenge is making him a worse person. As a character he’s constantly berating himself and his own monstrousness, much to Martin’s dismay.  

That’s why the finale destroys me in the best way. Upon seeing that Jon has betrayed him and basically given himself over to the Eye, Martin asks “how much of you is even left?” And when Jon tries to reassure him that he’s still himself, Martin’s response is “how would you even know?” This cuts through me every time. Up until this point, Martin had consistently stood up for Jon and Jon’s humanity, even in the face of Tim’s doubt, Basira’s mistrust, Elias being cryptic, and Jon’s own self-hatred. This is the ultimate breaking point, the point where even Martin, the love of Jon’s life, doesn’t really recognize him. It’s brutal. Because at the end of the day, Jon is still himself; he’s a deeply broken person trying to make the right decisions.  

We’ll come back to the finale later, but for now I want to talk about the romance. 

Jon’s emotional growth throughout the series is largely tied into Martin. Martin’s the first person that Jon really opens up to, and this later grows into trust which then turns into a genuine emotional connection.  On the flip side, Martin’s growth in season four is largely tied into Jon. Martin starts season four basically waiting to die, but Jon’s return gives him a reason to keep living, and he’s later able to recognize his own value outside of the pure utility of ‘you need to set yourself on fire to keep everyone else warm.’ Both of them give each other reason to push onward despite everything becoming more and more hopeless.  

It’s a good romance. I wish the two had had a few more scenes together before the culmination, but it is built up over the course of four seasons and comes together in an utterly fantastic confession.  

And yeah, the scene with Martin and Jon in the Lonely is cheesy as hell, but it is the highest quality of cheese. These are some gourmet nachos.  

Umm, also kind of stating the obvious here, but it’s also pretty cool that the main character in this horror story falls in love with another man. You don’t see that a lot, and it’s cool that no one even makes a big deal out of it. It’s just a normal romance, but with two guys. It’s nice. 

So, they go to Scottland, they hang out, they’re in love, Jonalias starts the apocalypse through Jon, the world ends, and season five starts! 

...Let’s talk about season five! 

Part 4: Season 5 

At the very start of this post, I said that supernatural mysteries tend to get worse as they go along, and I am deeply sad to report that I don’t think that The Magnus Archives is an exception. It just goes downhill in a very different way than its ilk. 

And, so we’re clear, I don’t think season five totally tanks or becomes unlistenable, it’s just, in my opinion, notably worse than the rest of the show. 

As discussed earlier, it doesn’t fall apart due to a lack of planning; everything still makes sense, but the presentation has changed drastically. The episodic statements are no longer scary stories, but more like slam poems about the various hellscapes that Jon and Martin are trekking through. Honestly if these were published in a book of slam poetry, I would probably think they slapped pretty hard. I genuinely believe that Jonny Sims is a good writer, but as a podcast a lot of these statements just made me zone out. There’s at least four that I don’t even slightly remember. Myself and many others have noted that they just...aren’t scary, unless there’s a specific episode that really gets under your skin due to a certain fear or phobia. 

To quote my friend, “it’s harder to feel a solid impact when the setting is literally divorced from reality. People would either go numb or insane to the point where their fears become unrelatable.” 

And, to be honest, I think that this same surreal odyssey set up could have worked with a slight shift in narration. Two stand out episodes for me were “Strung Out” and “Wonderland.” Both of them show the tormented target actively trying to resist and interact with their tormenter, instead of just trying to escape or live through their situation. “Strung Out” is also more of character study; you learn about Francis’s life before the apocalypse through their interaction with the Web hellscape. Meanwhile “Wonderland” is just...f*cked, and you get to see Jon take the perspective of first-person Bad Guy throughout the whole thing, which is its own level of disturbing. 

But the majority of episodes feel so abstract that I kind of forget the people trapped in them are supposed to be characters and not just concepts, so it’s harder to feel their dread and pain. 

But I’m still here for the metaplot, the drama, and the romance. And when that’s good, it’s great! I think the final handful of episodes are really solid in that regard. 

Buuuuuuut... 

A decent chunk of season five is dedicated to the “kill bill” plot. Jon discovers he has the power to smite people, and while at first, he’s embarrassed about this, since he actively enjoyed killing Not!Sasha, Martin is super into it! He’s encouraging Jon to murder people.  

This is actually the set up for a really good arc. As Jon gets more and more into his own avenging angel persona, Martin could get more and more disturbed by it so by the time they get to London, Martin could be really upset that Jon is so willing to wreak his own divine justice by killing or torturing all of the avatars. 

And this does kind of happen. We do reach this end state, and it makes for a good final conflict, but the way we got here was borderline nonsense. Thematic gibberish, if you will. 

Throughout the journey, Martin is clearly motived by a sense of justice; these people are bad, and so they should die. Whereas Jon is clearly more motivated by revenge; he only goes after the avatars that hurt him personally. At one point, Jon admits that maybe all of this killing isn’t making anything better, but just making him worse. Martin apologizes for egging him on, Jon absolves him by saying he started it, and then Martin’s like “I’ll keep my apology then.” This is the second worst line in the entire series, right after “the sky ate him.” And it’s close. 

But it kind of feels like we’re back at square one. Jon is back to being ashamed of killing and Martin is still keen on his justice stance, but now just less pushy about it. The arc is basically half resolved at this point. 

But then it doesn’t matter, because Jon kills Helen anyway. So, Jon’s back on his revenge/justice thing. Then what was the point of his earlier revelation? Why have that if it’s not going to matter and the conflict that was escalating still culminates with Jon leaning into the avenging angel stuff, and Martin being disturbed by it? It just makes both of them look like huge hypocrites! I f*cking hate it when they’re in the tunnels and Martin says “you weren’t meant to enjoy it this much,” regarding Jon’s smiting. Where did this come from?! Why didn’t you say this earlier? Third worst line in the series. 

And yeah, I’ll say it; the boys fight too much in this season. I loved their romance up to season five, and their cute moments and more lowkey serious discussions are still good in this season, but God, they fight so much. And I’m not saying couples can’t have fights or tension, that’s just realistic and also stories need conflict to be interesting. Jonny Sims is on the record saying that balancing a healthy romance with the stress of a literal apocalypse was a priority, and I’m sorry, but I don’t think it’s well balanced.  I’m just saying that sometimes it feels like they don’t even like each other and it really started to grate on me. 

Maybe it would have been better if the beginning of this season was dedicated to charming romance at first, so we as an audience could better appreciate how strong their love is and how it’s truly being tested. But obviously that was never on the table— 

ALEX NO. 

So, yeah, I have a lot of problems with season. I think it’s the worst one by far, even though there is a lot of it I still enjoy, including the ending. 

As I mentioned before, the moment where Martin confronts Jon in the panopticon absolutely kills me, and Jon’s reaction kills me even harder. Throughout the season, Jon had largely been motivated by revenge, martyrdom, and the subconscious call of the Eye, and all three of those factors led him to his position as the pupil. He’s getting revenge against the powers, sacrificing his humanity to get rid of the Fears, and taking his place as wearer of the watcher’s crown. But all of this gets thrown out the window when he realizes that Martin is going to die. And not only is Martin going to die, Martin is going to die specifically because he loves Jon and refuses to leave Jon alone to die horribly. Martin had always been an underlying motivation for Jon, his “reason” as stated in episode 167, but now love as a motivator has come to the forefront, and Jon can no longer go through with his plan because of it. But at this point in the series, they’re both utterly doomed, and Jon concludes that the only possible chance they have of surviving, however unlikely, would be to sever the pupil of the eye, technically killing Jon, but maybe, just maybe, allowing them to escape with the Fears. Whether that’s meant to be literal or more ethereal is left unclear. Hell, maybe Jon’s just making it up completely and creating his own potential happy ending. It’s a pretty potent ending in emotional terms; Jon has to release the Fears and Martin has to kill Jon, and those are the two things they were dead set on not doing.  

The Web, arguably the real main antagonist, basically won, and their manipulation of Jon worked. The destruction spread, and there is kind of a bleak underlying tone to that. 

But at least this ending has some semblance of hope to it. I’m not saying that releasing the Fears was objectively the correct moral decision; the entire point of the dilemma is that there was no objectively correct moral decision. But, while Jon’s solution does have merit, it was also the most hopeless. I think dramatically, any one of the choices on the table could have worked if the writing was well executed, but thematically this one seemed like the perfect combination of grim and optimistic. Like, all of the evils that plague humanity can’t just be defeated forever and things could get worse, but maybe not. Maybe everything works out... 

So yeah, The Magnus Archives...is a podcast. And it’s a really good podcast. Great, even. I can complain about season five all I want, but regardless of how that worked out, you can tell throughout the entire show that the people working on it were trying to tell a genuinely excellent story. 

It’s good. Go listen to it. Even though I spoiled the entire thing and if you’re still here, you’ve probably already listened to it. Listen to it again. 

[canonicallysoulmates]

Hey! You can feel free to ignore this since it is a big ask but. As someone who dropped off the show by s8 and doesn’t really care about following the big plot points, can you recommend to me all the good Sam & Dean episodes that have happened since? (Not just angst or drama even, even just episodes with funny little moments or details?) I am like, solely here for these two being codependent and soulmates and not much else. <3 (Sidenote: thank you for your tagging system!)

Hi! Sorry it’s taken me so long to reply to this; as you yourself said this was a big ask, lots of episodes to go through and remember but hopefully you’re still interested in my answer. 

Now the following are not every episode where there’s a brother moment for example the s8 premiere had a great brother hug where the boys reunite, episode 3 of that same season drew parallels between the boys and a couple, if I remember correctly,  but those episodes are not included on the list because I didn’t just wanna recommend every single epi that had a brother scene just because it had a brother scene. I took into consideration if it had moments, what they were, enjoyability of the episode and if the moment or moments were big enough to make a bad episode worth recommending, I don’t wanna recommend something to you without thought and have you spend an hour of your life just to see and enjoy a flash in the pan moment you can enjoy just as much or more through gifs and clips. 

In complete transparency I will also add that I did this mostly from memory so there is the chance that an episode with good moments slipped through the cracks and for that I apologize. 

I don’t know at what point of s8 you stopped watching or if you stopped before the season so I am starting this with s8. 

Season 8

Episode 4: Bitten. This epi doesn’t have a ton of moments or even a big one but it does have two students saying Sam and Dean give off workplace-romance vibes, and I’m a sucker for the boys being compared to or thought of as a couple.  

Episode 10: Torn and Frayed. Not gonna lie, not the biggest fan of this episode, but it does have the brothers choosing each other over Benny and Amelia so….

Episode 11: LARP and the Real Girl. I said it before in another post that to me this is the turning point of the season for the better, and it has the boys having fun. 

Episode 12: As Time Goes By. I wouldn’t call this one a Sam and Dean episode as in SamandDean packed with brother moments but we and the boys get to learn more about their legacy as Winchesters so if that’s something you’re interested in...

Episode 14: Trial and Error. This one has emotional brother moments with Dean wanting Sam to be safe and have a normal life and Sam asking Dean to believe in him, and praising him. 

Episode 17: Goodbye Stranger. To be honest, I don’t remember if this epi has other brother moments but I am solely recommending it because this is the one where Dean learns the trials are making Sam sick and at the end there’s a scene where he tells Sam to let him help carry the burden. 

Episode 19: Taxi driver. Great epi filled with protective!Dean, he kills Benny to save Sam, a beautiful brother hug. 

Episode 20: Pac man fever. They argue like a married couple and Dean’s fear is shown to be losing Sam. 

Episode 21: The Great Escapist. Pretty much the whole episode has little moments of Dean taking care of Sam. 

Episode 23: Sacrifice. “Don’t you dare think that there is anything past or present that I would put in front of you!” This is the ‘if you watch nothing else from this season’ episode to watch. If you watch nothing else from the s8 sections of recommendations, watch this one, it has one of the best, most emotional Sam and Dean moments in the show’s history.

Season 9

Episode 1: I think I’m Gonna Like It Here. “I made you a promise in that church. You and me, come whatever.” “There ain’t no me if there ain’t no you.” I live for the codependency and for these two going to extremes to save the other including tricking into letting an angel possess the other’s body, and I refuse to apologize for it. 

Episode 5: Dog Dean Afternoon. Okay, I’ll admit this one definitely falls more under the fun episode type but it does have Dean being all worried about Sam, clutching to him and threatening to lick his face if he doesn’t wake up. 

Episode 7: Bad Boys. We learn more about young!Dean and see him choosing Sam over having a normal life.

Episode 15: #THINMAN. This one is an angsty one and not just because it’s the last time we see the Ghostfacers, this takes place after everything goes to shit in the boys relationship with Sam finding out about Dean’s betrayal and it contains parallels to what Ed and Harry are going through in their relationship, a protective worried Sam over Dean possibly being killed (which let me tell you is delicious to witness after all the angst and Sam acting like he doesn’t care about Dean anymore), and a bittersweet moment of the boys reminiscing about their past.

Episode 16: Blade Runners. This one is being recommended because it has some protective!Dean and because Sam being Dean’s Colette bringing him out of his MOC induced rage. 

Episode 23: Do You Believe in Miracles?. The “I’m proud of us” moment, need I say more.

Season 10

Episode 1: Black.

Episode 2: Reinbach.

Episode 3: Soul Survivor. These three episodes are all being recommended for the exact same reason they have demon!Dean, and Sam going crazy trying to save him/find him. Plus, Soul Survivor has demon!Dean following Sam around the bunker. 

Episode 4: Paper Moon. It has a flashback showing us just how far Sam was willing to go to get Dean back plus some emotional conversations between the boys. 

Episode 5: Fan Fiction. I know people who like this episode. I know people who hate this episode. Personally, I think it has its good parts, it has some brother moments and some nods to wincest.

Episode 12: About A Boy. This one also falls more into the category of fun episode with Dean being turned into a teen, but it also has some good brother moments. 

Episode 14: The Executioner’s Song. The fight scene between Dean and Cain was amazing and it has Dean collapsing into Sam’s arms. 

Episode 18: Book of the Damned. Love this episode, this epi is probs the best example as to what I enjoyed the most about s10; usually we see Dean being codependent and going to extremes to save Sam but during this season we see the opposite and this episode really highlights that with Sam telling Dean he can’t lose him, telling Charlie he understands hunting is his life but he can’t do it without his brother, going behind Dean’s back and seeking help from Rowena to try and save him.

Episode 19: The Werther Project. More Sam being desperate to save Dean, protective!Dean, and Dean saying he and Sam are stronger together than apart. 

Episode 23: Brother’s Keeper. Sam and Dean literally choose each other over the world and Dean kills Death over Sam. 

Season 11

Episode 4: Baby. One of the best episodes, just our boys, the open road and all told from Baby’s POV. A must watch in my book. 

Episode 8: Just My Imagination. The last flashback episode we ever got -  *hits 15.16 with a shovel* like I said last flashback episode we got; it’s fun, has good Sam and Dean moments, we learn more young!Sam, Sam gets some love and praise, the boys wore cozy sweaters, good epi. 

Episode 10: The Devil in the Details. It has protective!Dean and Lucifer point out to Sam that he and Dean have chosen each other time and time again because they can’t stand to lose one another. What can I say, I like when the codependency is brought up. 

Episode 11: Into the Mystic. Here’s the thing with this episode, I have become sort of embittered towards it due this being the introduction of a character with whom there is an attempted romance in s15 which I heavily dislike but I can’t deny that before that I really did like it, it has some good brother moments and it has Dean telling Sam he forgave him for not looking for him in Purgatory which is major. 

Episode 15: Beyond the Mat. Another epi on the fun list, mostly being recommended because it has the boys having fun and that’s something we rarely get to see. 

Episode 16: Safe House. Protective!Worried about Dean!Sam!

Episode 17: Red Meat. What can I say about this iconic episode? It's one of the best episodes in the series, absolutely soul crushing, codependency times 1,000. Have tissues with you when you watch it because you will sob your heart out. They turned Sam and Dean into Romeo and Juliet but better. 

Episode 20: Don’t Call Me Shurley. Regardless of what a certain showrunner ended up doing to the character I do still love this episode and it has some great Sam and Dean content with Dean preferring to possibly die with Sam, telling him he’d never leave him and the return of the Samulet. 

Episode 23: Alpha and Omega. Emotional brother hug, Dean saying he and Sam need each other.

Season 12

Episode 5: The One You’ve Been Waiting For. I’m gonna be honest, I don’t remember much of this episode other than I enjoyed it and that it had some fun moments between the boys. 

Episode 9: First Blood. I’m truly only recommending this because it had,  Badass!Winchesters.

Episode 10: Lilly Sunder Has Some Regrets. Funny thing about this episode was it was supposed to be all about C but it ended up being enjoyable and filled with little Sam and Dean moments including some protective!Sam. 

Episode 11: Regarding Dean. Jensen’s acting in this episode is next level, and it is filled with little brother moments. 

Episode 18: The Memory Remains. The only reason I am recommending this one is because it’s the one where the boys carve their initials on the table which was a major moment. 

Season 13

Episode 8: The Scorpion and the Frog. Another fun episode that’s filled with little Sam and Dean moments. 

Episode 11: Breakdown. For so long I talked about Dean being Sam’s knight in shining armor it’d be wrong for me to not bring up the episode where it happened. Also, Dean tells Sam he’s there for him. 

Episode 12: Various and Sundry Villains. It had some fun brother moments. 

Season 14

Episode 4: Mint Condition. Fun Hallooween episode with fun,  little moments. Absolutely loved this one. 

Episode 11: Damaged Goods. This isn’t really a Sam and Dean episode, or at least I don’t consider it one but the ending scene between the brothers where Dean tells Sam he’s the only one that could have changed his mind about throwing himself into the box was beautiful. 

Episode 12: Prophet and the Loss. The brother hug to end all brother hugs. Absolutely amazing episode, packed with brother moments including what’s probably the best brother hug, will sing its praises till I die and then I’ll continue singing them in the afterlife. 

Episode 13: Lebanon. The 300th episode. It has some moments between the boys as well as some touching scenes of the boys with their dad. 

Season 15

Episode 4: Atomic Monsters. Is this partially on the recommended pile because Jensen directed it? Yes but nonetheless it’s a pretty good epi that while not super packed with brother moments does have them. (Also, this is the last season and I’m sad to report we are scraping the bottom of the barrel trying to find Sam and Dean content in this dessert.)

Episode 11: The Gamblers. Good brother moments and the boys get called heroes which I love. 

Episode 13: Destiny’s Child. The sole reason I am recommending this episode is for AU!Sam and Dean, they are the funnest thing this show has done in a while. 

Episode 14: Last Holiday. While this doesn’t really have Sam and Dean moments with the exception of Sam telling Dean he should have called him to let him know he was in trouble, it does have the boys being taken care of and getting to have some fun and that’s something we so rarely get to see that I am including it. 

Like I said, this is not a definitive list of every single episode that has Sam and Dean moments there’s episodes like the most recent one, 15.17, that had a beautiful moment between the brothers but I didn’t list the epi here cause I don’t think it’s necessary to watch the whole episode for it when it can be seen and enjoyed just as much by watching it through a clip. Which while I don’t recommend the whole ep I do highly recommend looking up the end and seeing the brother moment; point is, similar to 8.01 or 15.17 there were other episodes that had moments that weren’t included due to seeing the whole epi not being necessary to enjoy the moment.

[fredweesleyismyslut]

Drag you down - Jhope x Curvy!reader

A/N:  Okay, so I’m bringing some love to my baby, my sunshine, Jung Hoseok, aka Jhope which if you like BTS I assume you already know.  Anywaysssss, he’s my bias wrecker and bitch he got me feeling some type of way whenever he’s dancing, especially when he’s teaching like he could literally punch me and I’d say thank you.  Anyways, I just had the idea of writing a thing where the reader is dating him and they’re more on the curvy side so they start to doubt themselves being with Jhope because they feel like they don’t fit his idol image and that they’re kind of dragging him down.  So, this sweet boy decides to have a little talk with you and shows you just how much he loves you.  Also, as someone who has a little junk in my trunk, this idea just randomly popped up in my head.  I really hope you guys like this, it’s my first time writing for kpop or a person in general who’s not a fictional character...so don’t judge me too hard I can’t promise I won’t cry.  Love you guys always!!

Hoseok invited you to watch his photoshoot that he had to promote BTS’s new album.  He had been ecstatic, excitedly talking about it till midnight while you were laying in bed, responding with quiet murmurs falling asleep to his voice.  He waved over at you, doing a group shot with the rest of the members, the members catching you glance and waving also.  Smiling softly you sent over a quick wave, before looking around the set at how hard working the producers were for making all the props and taking pictures.  Next up were the single pictures, but just as that started a couple of girls walked in, clearly models as they had finished getting up from the makeup area.  One of the girls smiled over at you, there wasn’t any animosity in the smile, however, you felt the hairs stand up on your arms as she walked over to Hoseok.  Doing the single shots, you watched as the two posed together, their rhythm perfectly matching the others, the girl quietly giggling at whatever joke Hoseok had just made.  “Hey y/n, what’s got you so deep in thought?” asked a male voice to your side, turning you saw Namjoon, the leader of the group but also your best friend.  He was always so calm and methodical that you felt as if he could read your movements, “Nothing...just I’m proud of you guys.  The fans are really going to love this album.” you said, smiling over to reach his hand.  His smiled back giving a reassuring squeeze as he replied, “Thanks, I really hope so...I-I..”  “Hey, shush...as a fellow army myself I am speaking for all fans when I say they will absolutely love this album, Joon.”  His lips quirked into a smile as he gave a side hug, before getting called over by the makeup unni who wanted to fix his base makeup before sending him back into the shoot.  Hoseok smiled and gave the girl a soft bow as a way of thank you before walking over to you, “Didn’t I do great, jagi?” he asked, head quirking to the side like a puppy.  “Yes, you did amazing, babe.  I almost fell for you all over again.”  His cheeks flushed softly at your compliment as he placed a soft kiss on your forehead.  A female voice sounded from behind you, “Oppa, here’s a drink.  You did great!” the girl from earlier said as she handed him a coffee, “Thanks, Minji.  You did great too!” he said, ruffling her hair.  You couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy at the soft touch that he had given her, she looked prettier than you and definitely skinnier compared to your more curvy figure.  You weren’t really the jealous type and had always been on the more confident side of things, you liked your curvy figure especially with Hoseok’s encouragement, but as you went public with your relationship your self-image had become more critical due to worrying how fans would see you.  Especially during one incident when a fan had commented after you first went public, “How is Hoseok with that pig?  I mean how does she not crush him lol?” that comment, no matter how childish it had been had engraved deeply into your brain.  Hands fumbling slightly you smiled at the girl, giving a soft bow of your head as she handed you a drink too, “You’re so pretty unni.” she said in awe as she admired your figure, “Maybe you should’ve been modeling with Hoseok oppa instead of me.”  Hoseok’s chest seemed to swell with pride as he kissed your cheek, “I would love to have her model with me but she’s too shy.” he crowed, with a slight pout to his lips, “Maybe for our next photoshoot…”  Chuckling softly, you swatted his arms, “Stop trying to flatter me, Seok.  I see right through you.”  The girl had started to walk away, going back to her task of handing drinks out to the other members, “You know I just want to show everyone that this is mine…” he whispered in your ear, voice growing husky as he placed his hands on your hips.  “Not here.  We’re in front of all your members, Hoseok.” you chided, giving him a kiss on the cheek.  Pouting he gave you a look that clearly said, “Later” as he walked back over to his members to get his makeup fixed as well.  You watched them do the finishing touches of the photoshoot before you were whisked away by your friend, Haeun, who happened to also work at the company.  “You didn’t tell me you were visiting.” she said, betrayal hinting her voice jokingly, as she swatted your arm, “So, you were just gonna see your boyfriend and not even say hi to me huh?”  Swatting her arm back, you replied, “Neverrrr...I was going to wait till they were done.  You know how Hoseok gets when I leave in the middle after promising to watch his shoot.”  “I’m gonna have a talk with him about stealing my best friend.” she announced to you, sending a soft glare in his direction, “Hey, how about I get us lunch and in return you don’t make my boyfriend cry.  You know how you’re kinda scary sometimes.”  Haeun looked at you with innocence in her brown eyes, “Me? Scary?  Never.”  Laughing you linked arms as she walked you down to a restaurant nearby that sold kimbap and tteokboki as a quick snack/lunch.  Sending a quick text to your boyfriend once you were sat down, he probably wouldn’t see it till later but you still wanted to let him know where you were.  You looked up at her, as she ordered the food, once done she looked towards you, “Am I forgetting anything?”  Shaking your head, she nodded finishing the order, “I have a question.” you started, as she looked at your head softly quirking, silently telling you to continue, “Do you know the girl that was modeling with Hoseok?”  “Oh...I don’t know about her much.  She’s a young model, Minji right?”  Nodding, as she continued, “I know she’s from Hoseok’s hometown but other than that she’s still pretty new but slowly gaining public interest.”  You nodded softly, getting lost in your thoughts until a hand suddenly hit the top of your head softly, “Don’t think about her too much.  I already know what you’re thinking, ‘God, she’s so pretty and skinny.  Hoseok’s image would look so much with her than me.”  Her features softened as she grabbed your hand, “You’re gorgeous and I mean...your body like damn bitch, excuse my language but you could turn me gay here and now with a snap of your fingers.  Also do you not see how whipped Hoseok is for you?  I’m sure if you asked him to buy you a star and name it after you he would in the snap of a second.” Flushing at her words you replied, “But..”  Cutting you off she scolded, “No buts.  Next time you even start doubting yourself I’m really gonna get mad and you’re the one who said that I was scary.” she softly glared at you as she organized the food on the table.  You shut your mouth, remembering the last time you doubted yourself being with Hoseok and she scolded you while organizing a small party for you where she had organized a bunch of pictures of you to hang around your apartment as Hoseok serenaded you.  The party was embarrassing but also fun, definitely something you didn’t want to experience again, however, especially not Haeun’s wrath.  “Now, eat up before their photoshoot ends.  I haven’t had time alone with you in like days.”  After finishing up, you headed home with Hoseok and the boys, they dropped by your apartment as you helped Jin fix them a meal.  Once they left, Hoseok helped wash the dishes although it was more like he was washing you from the amount of water that had splashed you from his playful antics that you had returned.  Clothes both almost soaked once you were done, Hoseok wrapped his arms around you, head resting on your shoulder.  “I’ve missed you.” he spoke softly as if he was afraid to break the silence, “I missed you too.” 

 The next several days, you started to become more reclusive, it was more subconsciously than intentionally, but you would start to make up reasons as to why you couldn’t meet up with Hoseok and the boys, by saying you were busy at work or hanging out with friends.  You just felt that if you weren’t in the picture Hoseok could definitely get a prettier girl who fits his image better as an idol than someone like you.  A couple days after the photoshoot you heard the doorbell ringing, “Who is it?” you called out heading to the door.  Looking through the hole you saw Hoseok who was looking sullen and hurt.  Opening the door you were about to speak before he cut you off, “Did I do something wrong?”  he asked, eyes looking to yours, inspecting your features, “You’ve been avoiding me…”  “Hoseok, it’s nothing I just…”  “Is there another person?” he asked, suddenly as his eyes filled with tears at the corners slightly, piercing your heart even more at his hurt expression.  “Jagi, of course not, you know I only have eyes for my sunshine.  I-I just feel like you’d be happier with someone else…”  Hoseok’s features perked at your words, “What do you mean I’d be happier with someone else?  I’ve never been happier in my whole life and that’s because of you y/n.”  His features softened, “I knew you looked weird after that photoshoot with Minji.  You know she’s right...I’d love to have you in our photoshoots sometime.”  Flushing, you punched his shoulder softly, “Did you want to come in?” you asked, as he nodded in response.  Pulling you towards your couch Hoseok patted the cushion next to him, “You’re gorgeous you know that right?  I don’t care if I’m an idol, even though we have thousands of fans, I still only have eyes for you, y/n.”  his hand squeezed yours, silently asking for a response.  “I know, it’s just you’re so famous and I’m just...yknow me.  If I wasn’t dating you I’d be a nobody.  People wouldn’t even know who I was I’d just be a random girl on the street.”  avoiding his eyes, you continued, “Compared to Minji, I’m not that pretty, I mean some of your fans clearly agree and so do the news reports.”  Hoseok placed two fingers gently on your chin, tilting your head up, placing a kiss on your lips he replied, “I don’t care what the fans say about you, I love you and if they don’t understand that then they weren’t real fans to begin with.  The real fans are the ones who are happy for me that I’ve found someone I love.”  His features brightened slightly, “You know I posted about you yesterday because I was missing you…” he confessed shyly, “And your kind of trending.” Shocked by his statement your lips fluttered slightly, “What?”  “You haven’t looked at your socials all day, huh?” he questioned, pulling his phone from his pocket.  Showing his twitter to you, you saw all the retweets and posts about you, some of the responses from fans included, “Omg why’d nobody tell me Jhope was dating a literal goddess?! Have you guys seen her?  She’s got curves for days!”  “Damn, here I thought I was straight because I liked 7 boys, but now….Jhope give me your girl’s number?”  “Please make her a model Bighit!!  She deserves to be in one of the boys’ photoshoots.”  “When are the photocards of her coming out, I’m waiting BIghit put her in your next girlgroup.”  Sitting in awe at all the comments, you looked up at him, “Y/n, they love you just as much as I do.  You’re the only one who couldn’t see it, I don’t care if there are models like Minji, because you’re the only one I see.”  His eyes started to wander the rest of your body, “I mean, I love you as much as I love your body...maybe it’s time I show you, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you.” he said, his voice grew deeper as his eyes seemed to glaze over with lust as his lips placed onto yours hungrily as if he couldn’t get enough, “Come on...we’ve got a long night ahead of us if I’m gonna show you just how much I love you.” 

[angellesword]

Seventy One

Description: What were you supposed to do when seven men ended up falling in love with you?

Choose, of course.

Seventy One: from seven to one.

Pairings: ot7 x Female Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff, inexplicit smut

Word Count: 11k (One shot)

Warnings: alcohol, kissing, mild physical violence, blood, there are stalkers in this fic, discussion of dropping out of school, and losing interest in life. 

*** I know this doesn’t have a lot of warnings, but please be mindful of what you’re reading. (especially minors) I’ve been on tumblr and wattpad since 13 and I honestly regretted it. I should have waited for the right time before diving into the word of fiction.

Of one thing, you were sure: You were going to quit medical school no matter how many times they tried to stop you.   “I just don’t understand why people are stopping me, you know? This is my life.” You breathed in heavily. “My life!” You repeated the last two words to emphasize your point.   Not everyone had a dream. This was what Min Yoongi always told you. Admittedly, this friend of yours admired you for knowing what you wanted to do in life. Sometimes he envied you. For him, you were the epitome of beauty and perseverance. Once you set your mind into something, you were sure to do it no matter how hard it may seem.

  “They’re just concerned for you, Princess...” Seokjin pinched your cheeks, an attempt to lighten up your mood, but also because he found you cute.   You sighed, trying to flash a smile at your best friend. You appreciated his little ways to make you happy.   You had known Kim Seokjin ever since you were a child. Your mom was actually best friends with Seokjin’s mom. As a result, they also wanted their kids to become friends. It happened. Seokjin was a few months older than you, but this didn’t stop you from hanging out with him. The world was convinced you were destined to be together because the two of you were inseparable. You loved hanging out with him. He was a sweetheart, always polite and he didn’t have to try hard to make everyone around him smile. He was naturally funny.

And the best part about being his best friend? Well, Seokjin loved to cook. He always prepared your favorite garlic chicken. Jin didn’t mind eating this flavor of meat with you even though his skin itched after consuming it. “They’re not concerned about me. They’re concerned about themselves.” You gritted your teeth together. Bitterness was taking over you once more. You stood by this. You felt like the reason why your family and relatives were stopping you from dropping out of medical school was because they didn’t want to associate themselves with a dropout—with a person who was irresponsible and didn’t have any dream. You were going to taint your family’s name.   When you told Seokjin about your plan, he had a similar reaction with your family. He also stared at you blankly. Your heart sank. Your relatives’ reaction hurt, but the disapproval of your best friend, the person who you thought would support you through thick and thin, hurt the most. Fortunately, you were wrong. Seokjin wasn’t judging you. He was just shocked because he knew how much you wanted to be a doctor.   You thought so too, but it only took you two semesters to realize that medical school wasn’t for you. You were spontaneous, just like Jeongguk, the maknae of your group of friends.   Studying all day wasn’t for you. You didn’t want to sacrifice your time researching and losing sleep. You wanted something fun...something liberating.   Jeongguk was exactly like that. You could never forget the day he knocked on your door at ten pm; his eyes were sparkling as asked if you wanted to go high diving with him.   You agreed. It was the best day of your life. Your fingers were intertwined. You screamed all of your frustrations as you jumped. The cold, pristine water swallowed you whole.   You figured that the water might be cold, but your heart was warm and so was Jeongguk’s smile.   Your friendship with Jeongguk was the opposite of your relationship with Seokjin. The latter had a careful approach in life. This was probably the reason why he was at the top of his chosen career. Seokjin graduated in the most prestigious university in Seoul with a degree in Film Studies.   His hoobaes admired him for being the best sunbae. Seokjin was thoughtful. He took his time giving helpful tips to young artists. Your best friend had the right to give advice as he was already the most successful actor of WWH Labels, one of the best entertainment agencies in South Korea. Seokjin had won and was still winning major awards from different shows all over the world. His fan base was getting bigger and bigger. Despite this, he remained humble. Compared to him, you were nothing—at least this was how you feel.   “You’re really gonna drop out?” He asked you for the nth time.   “Yes.” You said confidently. “You know me. Once I set my mind into something—“   “It is final and there is no turning back.” He completed your infamous line and then he sighed. “I’m just making sure. You know, I’ve noticed that you’ve been taking Yoongi’s opinion seriously.”   “Your point?” You asked him directly while raising a brow. Why was Yoongi suddenly involved?   “W-Well...I...” He swallowed, it was as if there was lump in his throat, making it difficult for him to continue what he was about to say.   “What, Seokjin?” You know it was downright rude to just drop honorifics; however you were pissed off. He hadn’t said anything but you already knew what was in his mind. He was your best friend after all. You knew him inside out.   “I just,” he started and failed again. Seokjin realized there was no point of sugarcoating things. He needed to be honest. “Yoongi dropped out of college so I thought that maybe he’s influencing you in some way—“   “Oh shut up!”   You couldn’t help your anger anymore. You were wrong for trusting him. You shouldn’t have relied on his encouraging words when you told him you were going to drop out.   You remembered his soft eyes and heartwarming smile as he said “I’m not going to stop you, Princess. You should do what you want. I will support you with all of my heart as long as you're happy and not hurting someone else...” Apparently, it was a lie.   It was stupid of you to find it endearing. It was stupid of you to think that both Seokjin and Yoongi shared the same sentiment. The former wasn’t like the latter. Yoongi was the only genuine supporter you had.   Yoongi told you to “fuck it all,” when you told him about your plan to drop out of school. He said that you were free to do what you wanted. His advice was similar to Seokjin’s. The only difference was that Yoongi didn’t care about what other people thought. He said that it didn’t matter if you were to give up your faith and your trust to them. The only important thing was for you to achieve your goal. In the end, you would only realize the worth of someone if that person chose to stay by your side even if you were at your lowest.   Dropping out of medical school meant you would lose your loved ones. Your friends might even think that you were a bad influence. Yoongi claimed that you didn’t deserve to be with people who thought this way.   Regardless of their genuineness, both Seokjin and Yoongi made their points clear. To be honest, you couldn’t disregard Seokjin’s point when he claimed that Yoongi’s word got the best in you. What Yoongi said was what you wanted to hear, so naturally you would defend and follow him. It wasn’t right. This made you realize that the advice that you needed was from someone who depended on reality rather than just being brutally honest or being too careful with words.   You needed someone who didn’t simply rely on emotions. You needed someone who resorted to logic.   You needed Kim Namjoon.   “I think I should go. Thanks for the food. See you later.” You barely touched the kimchi fried rice and spicy beef bulgogi Seokjin had cooked just for you, yet you were already leaving.   “Do you need a ride?” He asked softly.   You eyed your best friend from head to toe, causing him to flinch as he immediately hid his left hand behind his back. You weren’t aware, but Seokjin hurt himself while preparing your food.   “No. I’m just gonna go to Namjoon’s.”   Namjoon’s place was right across Seokjin’s apartment. Actually, the reason why you were friends with Namjoon was a funny story.   Namjoon was originally from Ilsan, the city of flowers that was only a few hours away from Seoul. He said he was just an ordinary boy who liked music, so even if the possibility of failing was high, Joon still chose to risk it all and went to Seoul. He struggled a lot. His place was small, making it hard for him to buy music equipment. Despite his home being small and easy to maintain, Namjoon, the ever clumsy boy, still turned it into a chaotic place. You remembered that time vividly. It was nine years ago. You, Seokjin, and Yoongi were enjoying your usual movie marathon night at Seokjin’s apartment when you heard a loud “HELP!” Next door.   You weren’t the type of person who ignored those in need, so you asked your two best friends to go with you to check in with the new neighbor. When you heard the word help, you were expecting to see a person in distress. But upon seeing the face of the man who just opened the door, you instantly knew you were the one who needed help. Damn. Someone should bring you to the hospital because your heart hurt.   The boy in front of you was so gorgeous that it physically hurt you. His blond hair complemented his tanned bare chest. God. You felt like you were going to have a heart attack if he didn’t put a shirt on.   “My microwave is on fire!”   Regrettably you lost interest when he spoke. Just...who in the right mind would catch their microwave on fire?   Clearly, only a dumb person.   Apparently, Kim Namjoon was dumb.   You, Seokjin, and Namjoon were losing your minds as you looked at the flame. Yoongi, on the other hand, just pressed the ‘stop’ button and after a few seconds, the chaos also stopped.   “Oh man. What did you put in there?” You winced while trying to get a good look inside your neighbor’s microwave.   “Uh? Bulgogi wrap?” Namjoon scowled, unsure.   “Bulgogi wrap wrapped in aluminum foil.” Yoongi corrected.   When your neighbor nodded, you and your friends face-palmed.    Who in the right mind would put an aluminum foil inside the microwave?   Only a dumb person.   Again, Namjoon was dumb.   “Fuck. I’m really hungry, but I’m scared to use the microwave again.” Namjoon face-palmed too. He didn’t know how to cook.   “Do you like ramyeon?” Seokjin asked.   “Who doesn’t like ramyeon?” This was Namjoon’s answer. “A dumb person.” You chuckled, interjecting their conversation.   When Namjoon shrugged his shoulders, you realized that maybe, he wasn’t dumb at all. Namjoon joined your movie marathon that night. It didn’t stop there, though. Namjoon was cool person so he didn’t have a hard time fitting in with your friends. Namjoon was also smart and charming. It wasn’t at all hard to like him. You actually harbored feelings towards him. You couldn’t help it. You found him sexy whenever he was producing songs with Yoongi.   Min Yoongi was the kind of person who liked to do his thing alone, so imagine how surprised you and Seokjin were when Yoongi asked for Namjoon’s help, making you realize that Namjoon actually creates more than he destroys. Yes, he was careless and he broke a lot of things, but he sure knew how to create beautiful and meaningful verses that touch the heart of his listeners.   His style complemented Yoongi’s way of making music. This was why you didn’t get surprised anymore when Namjoon and Yoongi told you and Seokjin that they were planning to make a small music entertainment that would focus on music healing, talent, and skills of their artists. Few years later, Paradise, the name of their firm, became the biggest entertainment in South Korea, dethroning WWH Labels. Honestly, if it wasn’t for Seokjin, the empire of WWH would probably fall. Seokjin was the company’s backbone.   “Namjoon, open your damn door.” You banged on the door of studio. You knew Namjoon had enough money to purchase a bigger place, but he didn’t want leave this building. His only compromise was to buy the unit as well as the three units next to his apartment. He then renovated it to a much bigger studio. He called it Rkive, his personal working area. Seokjin also didn’t want to leave his apartment because he had been living there ever since he was a trainee, but he would probably move to a new place in the future—just not now.   “You realize I can steal your valuables and you still wouldn’t notice?” You welcomed Namjoon with an exasperated sigh as he opened the door. As usual, he showed himself to you wearing nothing but gray sweatpants that hugged his hips perfectly. His Balenciaga boxers caught your eyes. You couldn’t help the blush staining your cheeks. You had seen him in this state many times already, but you still couldn’t help but to swallow hard every time. Namjoon was damn attractive, but this didn’t mean that he was perfect. In fact, his one flaw annoyed the hell out of you. You really hated the fact that he was always so immersed in making music that he didn’t seem to give a shit about the people around him. You were standing in front of his door for straight ten minutes already, if you didn’t aggressively bang on his door, you would most likely still be waiting here in vain.   “The only thing you can steal is my heart, baby girl.” You shook your head when Namjoon winked at you.   Ah damn. How could you still be irritated at him when it was clear that he knew how to make your heart skip a beat? Namjoon was probably the only person who could say sappy things that wouldn’t make you cringe.   “Don’t make me regret going here, Joon.” But you couldn’t tell him that.   “I’m kidding!” He pulled you inside his studio. Namjoon was busy producing a song before you came.  Bangtan Sonyeondan, the only boy band under the care of Paradise Company, was going to release a new album soon. Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jeongguk were the members of the mentioned boy group. They were pretty much involved in producing their music, but Namjoon was the one who wrote sixty to eighty percent of the lyrics of their songs. Yoongi, on the contrary, focused on producing the melody.   “You need help with anything, baby girl?” Namjoon sat on his swivel chair. He would stop working if you said you needed him. That’s how important you were. “I’m useless, Joonie.” You let out a breath, sitting on Namjoon’s lap. He instantly wrapped his arms around your waist and then he rested his head on your back.   “I don’t love you.”   “What!?” You struggled to get away from him. Did he just straight up tell you that he didn’t care about you?   “What?” Namjoon was feigning innocence as he embraced you tighter. “I thought we are supposed to lie? You said you’re useless and that’s obviously a lie.”   “Joon...” You touched his hand that’s resting just below your stomach. You were at loss of words.   “I know I tease you a lot and I don’t usually say the words you need and want to hear, but...” Namjoon sighed as well. “Please believe me when I say you’re fucking perfect. You’re perfect just the way you are and if reminding you all the time is the only way for you to remember that, then I will continue to say it even if I lose my voice.”   You were crying. You went here to seek comfort and that’s exactly what you got.   But would he still say the same thing after you told him what you were planning to do?   “I am dropping out of school, Joonie.” Your voice cracked upon confessing. Tears kept streaming down your pretty face and all Namjoon could do was to tighten his hug on you. He hated seeing you cry.   “You came here for my opinion, right?”   You nodded, too ashamed to say yes. You wondered what he thought about you.   With Namjoon, you felt exposed. You were not scared to tell him what you felt for the reason that you were certain he would always understand. This was the only thing you were afraid of. Namjoon could just look at you and you would already be willing to tell him every secret you had.   “Well I’d like to apologize because I don’t have anything to say.” He shrugged nonchalantly. “It is your life, baby girl. I can’t just tell you what to do and what not to do because at the end of the day, all you need is you.” Namjoon elucidated this thought more by letting you listen to the current song he was producing. Its title is Uhgood. Namjoon gently placed the headphone in your ears. The music started playing. All I need is me. I know I know All is need is me. You know you know The fact that the lyrics kept on repeating as if he was convincing himself made you cry. Sometimes it was really hard to make yourself believe into something. Falling short is such a painful feeling. If you haven’t experienced it, you can’t know it. This was true. It was easy for your family and friends to tell you that it was stupid to just quit medical school. It was because they didn’t know how difficult it was to continuously fail. My ideals and reality are very different, but I will still cross the bridge. I want to reach you. The real you, the real me. You were deluded by the idea that being a doctor was the best thing that could happen in your life. You still pushed through your dreams even though it hurt you many times. It stopped now. What you wanted to become in the future was the real you. You wanted to do what would make you happy—not what your loved ones thought was good for you. Namjoon thought the same because after letting you listen to the song, he said this: “You will pave your own way and your family and friends are just here to watch you grow. We are just merely the pieces of your boat, it is still up to you whether you’ll row it or not. Do you understand what I’m saying?”   You hummed. Namjoon seemed contented with your answer so he continued.   “My parents didn’t want me to pursue my dream as a rapper. They said I am too naive and guess what? They’re right after all.” He chuckled lowly, with deep dimples and all that. “But look where I am now. Yes, I didn’t become a rapper, but I became someone greater. Someone better. Someone I can be proud of. I train aspiring artists and I am able to produce songs for people. If I listened to my parents, I wouldn’t be the Namjoon you know and the RM they know...” RM was his name in the music industry.   “All I’m saying is follow your heart. You might have heard the same thing from Yoongi and Seokjin or I maybe I’m just blabbering dumb words, but do you get the point? At end of all of this, it is up to you whether you’re gonna listen to my advice or listen to yourself. Either way, it is still your choice.”   “What will I even do without a Kim Namjoon in my life? God you’re rich and smart. Your future girlfriend will be so lucky.” You laughed, wiping your tears away.   “You can be that girl, you know...”   And just like that, Namjoon was back with the teasing.   “You know no one is going to take you seriously if you flirt with every girl you see, right?” You pouted your lips. Namjoon smirked.   “Why? Are you the every girl I see?”   “What?”   “What what?   Silence.   “I love a dumb person.”   “Oh! Who’s the lucky girl?” Your eyes twinkled. It was Namjoon’s turn to roll his eyes.   “I am talking to a dumb person.”   “Well I’m sorry I’m slow! You haven’t said anything about the girl you like and—oh.”   I love a dumb person...

I am talking to a dumb person...   “Joon...” You trailed off when you realized what he said. Shit. What were you supposed to say?   “I am in love with you, baby girl.”   For years, you believed that you liked Kim Namjoon in a romantic way, but as he confessed his love for you, the only emotion you felt was guilt.   Guilt because without giving it much thought, you already knew you couldn’t reciprocate his feelings—at least not in the way he wanted you to.   “Don’t worry, baby girl.” He laughed, but you could feel the hurt in his voice. You’re thankful you couldn’t see his face as you were still sitting on his lap. His face was facing your back. You didn’t want to hurt him.   “I’m just saying this because I don’t want to regret anything. Falling in love isn’t experienced by everyone. It makes me happy that I am able to feel something as beautiful as this one. Loving you is such a beautiful feeling. I love that I love you, baby girl.”   “Damn, do you want some bulgogi wrap?”   Namjoon burst into laughter upon hearing your statement. Is his confession that bad that all you could think about was food?   “Are you telling me I poured my heart to you just so you can talk about wanting to eat bulgogi?”   “It’s for you, idiot!” You finally faced him, hitting his chest with your hand. “I figured you deserve some bulgogi wrap after that heartwarming confession. God, you’re so good at this!” Namjoon simply laughed it off. He also agreed to eat bulgogi wrap at a Korean stall downtown, but this was already hours ago. Right now, you were out with Park Jimin, drinking soju. Namjoon confession made you feel guilty. The only solution you could think of was to drink the guilt away with Jimin. It was a wrong move though. Who would have thought that Jimin was also going to confess his true feelings for you?   Ah. Park Jimin. The it boy of Bangtan Sonyeondan. He was a phenomenal dancer; his voice was sweet as honey too.   “Listen, babe...” Jimin giggled, his eyes turned smaller when he was smiling. He was cute, unfortunately you loved him the same way you loved Namjoon. What you felt for Jimin never changed ever since you met him. Well, you met him when you needed him the most. Quite literally, really.   You remembered that night. You went out to drink with your other friends. It was one of your typical night outs, nothing weird. Nothing creepy—this was until you felt like someone was following you.   All of your friends were home now. You always made sure that all of your friends were in the comfort of their homes before you could go to your own abode. But tonight, you wished things were different.   “Fuck, fuck, fuck. Pick up the phone, Yoongi!” He was the only one you knew you could call. Seokjin was busy with his taping. Namjoon, on the other hand, was out of country to meet up with other artists who wanted to collaborate with Bangtan. Sadly you couldn’t reach Yoongi. This made your heartbeat doubled. The stranger continued to follow you. Wherever you went, he followed.   Tears streamed down your cheeks as you ran towards a narrow alley. A sigh of relief escaped your lips when you realized that the creepy person already stopped following you.   That’s what you thought.   Your muffled scream was frightening. Someone just covered your mouth as he pulled you towards another alley. This one was narrower and darker.   You planned to get away from this person, although it wasn’t needed anymore. The man let go of you intentionally.   “Don’t scream. Don’t breathe too loud. They’ll leave in...” The mysterious man discreetly pointed at the person following you so you could see how frustrated they were now that they lost sight of you. “Three...two....one...”   The man you’re with as of this moment was right. The stalker really left after three seconds. “Do you know them?” You switched your gaze at him; fear was still evident in your voice. “No.” He laughed and shook his head. “But I think they’re sasaeng fans. They’re really irritating. I don’t even know why they’re called ‘fans’ in the first place.” He was annoyed but he was smiling at you.   Your creased your forehead, ignoring what he just said. It’s because you felt like you had seen him before.   “Do I know you?” You crinkled your eyes. This man really looked familiar. Where did you see him again?   “Oh. Sorry, my bad.” The guy giggled. He was so used to the idol life that he expected everyone to know him by now. “I’m Jimin. Park Jimin, the lead vocalist of Bangtan Sonyeondan, a proud artist of Paradise Entertainment!”   The introduction was too much, but cute nonetheless. He took your breath away when he saluted at you.   You giggled too.   “Ah! That’s why you seem familiar. Thanks for saving me, Jimin. I don’t know what I’ll do if you didn’t rescue me.”   “It’s nothing. Shall I walk you to your house?”   “Walk me to your boss’ house instead.”   “The clumsy one or the quiet one?”   You pretended to think.   “To the quiet one. He needs some scolding for ignoring my calls.”   Jimin simply laughed. He didn’t understand why both of his boss adored you a lot. What’s so special about you? His question had been answered as the two of you sauntered around the street of Seoul. It was easy to make him like you.   You were not like the other people he met. Jimin figured that it was probably because you were used to seeing famous people that meeting an idol like him didn’t affect you anymore. Well, whatever the reason was, Jimin realized that he liked the fact that he could laugh and do anything he wanted without you praising everything he did.   Of course he appreciated every compliment he got from his fans, although sometimes it felt like it was empty. It’s true when they said that words that were often said lost its meaning. Whenever people said that he was a prodigy in dancing or that his voice was angelic, he couldn’t decide if it was the truth or if they were just used to saying it. Apart from this, compliments caused him to feel pressured. Jimin believed that he needed to do his best all the time or else, all the love he got would fade away in an instant.   He felt more like a robot instead of a human. If it wasn’t for his family, friends, and members, he would probably quit by now.   The time he had an actually conversation with you was also the night he realized that he had another reason to strive harder. But no—it was not to impress you; it was more like you were his inspiration.   You were a med student. You were not as rich as your friends so your resources were not enough. Despite this, you still managed to make it through the day without breaking. Jimin, on the other hand, was privileged. Sometimes he felt embarrassed when he felt lazy to do his job. He had all the resources he needed. His fans loved him and he was also talented. The only thing he needed to do was to move and yet, here he was, being a complete sloth.   Jimin had been friends with you for years now. He was thrilled when you suddenly called and asked him to drink with you in the middle of the night. This was new. The two of you rarely went out together because you understood that Jimin was famous. Fans would go feral upon seeing the two of you together. You considered Jimin as one your close friends. The people under Paradise Entertainment were really close with one other. You actually had a small group of friends there. Your Saturday movie night started with Jin and Yoongi. Namjoon then joined. After a few years, the members of Bangtan Sonyeondan joined the night.   You guessed that what made the bond of the eight of you stronger was when the boy band filmed Bon Voyage. It was one of Bangtan’s reality shows wherein they travelled in a foreign country with limited budget and few resources. The fans didn’t know that you, as well as Namjoon, Seokjin, and Yoongi were there too. It was because the staffs only film the members of Bangtan.   You remembered that time clearly too. It was in the Philippines, a tropical country in Pacific. This place was a gem. They were blessed with rich natural resources and hospitable people.   The only problem here was the weather. It was so hot.   “I told you it’s a bad idea to go here during Summer! God! The weather is killing me!” You hissed at Yoongi. This was his idea. You suggested going to New Zealand, but he disagreed. He said you’d only look for pretty boys there. You just shook your head because what kind of logic was that? But then again, he wasn’t wrong.   “I saw an ice cream store over there...” Hoseok said. Your eyes followed the direction where he was pointing.   “Yeah? Should we get some?” You already stood up even though Hoseok hadn’t agreed yet.   “Okay!” But you always got what you wanted anyway.   “I’ll go with you two. We need more drinks.” Yoongi offered, he was about to stand up, howbeit Taehyung stopped him.   “Yoongi-depyonim, let Hoseokie-hyung go with our pretty noona this time. Why do you always want to tag along? Do you like our pretty noona~” Taehyung teased.   All eyes were either on you or on Yoongi. It was embarrassing. You should never let Taehyung get drunk. He’s annoying when he was intoxicated.   “Shut the fuck up, Taehyung. I’m just concerned for her. Hoseok is drunk—“   “Are you saying you don’t trust me, depyonim?” Hoseok’s jaw tensed. He didn’t like what his boss was implying. “You know I like noona more than anyone in here. I’m not gonna do anything to hurt her.”   The tension was getting thicker and this was all because of drunk Taehyung. God. You swore you were going to kill him when he’s sober enough to know that you were the one stabbing him.   “Just let her go, Yoongi-ah. She can handle herself and Hoseok is a good guy.” You heard Seokjin said.   Yoongi didn’t have a choice but to let you go. You didn’t know if it had something to do with Seokjin being the eldest or if Yoongi just realized that he overreacted.   Though you couldn’t say that Yoongi was wrong.   Your plan was to buy ice cream and alcoholic drinks, but here you were, making out with Hoseok under the coconut tree and the moonlight.   “You’re so pretty like this, sweetheart. So pretty just for me.”   “Kiss me, Hobi.”   He chuckled as he obliged to your request.   You moaned. Hoseok was hot and serious at the same time. He was the only member of Bangtan that you were not that close with. His idol persona was different from his real personality. It was understandable though. Jung Hoseok was the leader of the band. He needed to set a good example to his bandmates that was why he rarely focused on activities that did not involve work.   This was until you asked him to go out on a date with you.   “Who wants to go to Lotte World with me? I have extra ticket!” You barged in Bangtan’s studio one afternoon. Your voice was loud since you wanted to get the attention of your friends. However, it was only Hoseok who looked at you.   “Oh,” your smile faded. “Hi, Hoseok. Where are the boys?” Hoseok stopped dancing as he flashed a tight smile.   “They’re at the recording studio. Why?” He creased his forehead when he realized you were avoiding his gaze. Why couldn’t you look at him the same way you looked at the other members?   You swore it wasn’t because you hated his face. Admittedly, Hoseok was so attractive you felt like you didn’t deserve to look his way. Besides, how could you look at him now when he was topless? If this was Namjoon, you would shamelessly drool, but this was Hoseok. Jung Hoseok of Bangtan Sonyeondan.   “I just...” You attempted to look at him and you couldn’t help yourself any longer. “Do you go out with me?”   “Sorry?”   You faked a smile. Why were you so nervous?   “I mean,” you shrugged off, an attempt to calm yourself. “I have an extra ticket to Lotte World. Would you mind going out with me?” When he didn’t say anything, you panicked again. “Just friends! We’re only going out as friends!”   Your heart skipped a beat when he ruffled your hair. He was laughing because you seemed shy. There was nothing to be shy about. He would like to go out with you. He was done practicing their choreography and recording his part in their upcoming album. Hoseok was the only rapper in their group.   The three members were part of the vocal line. They were still busy recording that was why you ended up going with Hoseok in the mentioned amusement park. Hoseok didn’t regret agreeing to go with you because albeit frightened, you still made him feel like he was brave.   You coaxed him to try scary rides at that amusement park. With you, Hoseok forgot all the worries circling in his head. With you, he could be the carefree and rough version of himself.   Rough. As in rough in bed. You didn’t exactly know how it happened. After your date with him at Lotte World, the two of you spent more time with each other; however, it was always a secret. It was as though he was your new best friend. Seokjin was always busy with work that was why you chose to hang out with Hoseok instead. Only at midnight though. You two would often meet at Bangtan’s dance studio. This was the safest place since it was common knowledge to all Bangtan employees to never barge in here because Hoseok couldn’t be disturbed while choreographing new steps.   Little did they know, the only thing Hoseok was doing was making you cum.   This was the reason why you were making out with him under the moonlight tonight. This wasn’t just because you two were semi-drunk. You really wanted to be with Hoseok ever since the start of Bon Voyage.   “I love you, sweetheart...” Hoseok confessed as he inserted his fingers in your wet cunt. “Me too, Hobi. As much as I love Tae, JK, and Jimin too.” You cooed. You realized that you needed to tell them you loved them more. They would be dropping their new album soon and you were aware that this was causing them to feel stressed.   “Hobi?” You were frustrated when he abruptly stopped pleasuring you. Was something wrong?   “Sweetheart?” You called again. You even lifted his chin so you could look at him in the eyes.   “Something bothering you?” You palmed his cock. “Will this help? Want me to blow you, baby?” Hoseok lightly pushed you away. This was in contrary to the roughness of his voice.   “Do you really think all I want is sex?”   “W-What?” You blinked when you saw hurt crossed his face.   “Hobi...I don’t understand. We chose this deal right? You said you wanted me. I want you too, sweetheart.” You tried to kiss him on the lips, but it landed on his cheek when he tilted his head to the side.   “Let’s stop this deal. I don’t want to be your fuck buddy anymore.”   You froze, too stunned to even speak. He didn’t want you anymore? Did he find someone better?   If that was the case, then you couldn’t do anything. It’s just so not you to push people to do something they didn’t want. So even if your heart felt heavy, you still nodded.   “Whatever you want is fine by me, Hobi.”   “That easy, huh?” He cackled. “I just told you I love you, damn! Is this really just physical for you? Don’t you feel anything at all—”   Hoseok was cut off when Yoongi suddenly punched him. You tried to stop Yoongi, but you realized you couldn’t stop him without asking for the help of your other friends.   It was Jeongguk who was able to pull Yoongi away from Hoseok. You scowled upon seeing the idol’s broken nose and bleeding lips.   “Damn. You don’t need our stylist-noona now, Hoseokie-hyung.” Intoxicated Taehyung was unstoppable. He still managed to joke about the current situation.   Their album concept was about raising awareness about violence. Hoseok’s role was the protagonist who was always bullied by his classmates. Taehyung was saying that their stylist didn’t need to paint fake bruises on his hyung’s face anymore.   “Taehyung, you better shut the fuck up.” Namjoon threatened, but the intoxicated boy just raised his brow and smirked at his boss. It was Seokjin who stood up to stop this chaos.   “Guys...” The eldest called all of your attention, though he was only looking at you. For some reason, guilt managed to creep into your heart. Why was Seokjin looking at you using those lonely eyes?   “We aren’t going to solve anything if you are all angry. Can we please just stay calm?” Seokjin blinked as he wetted his pinkish lips. “Yoongi-ah, why did you do this to Hoseok?”   Yoongi who was currently plopped down on white sand glared at Hoseok. After this, he switched his gaze at Seokjin.   “Why don’t you ask him instead, Jin-hyung? Have him tell everyone the nasty shit he was doing to her!” Yoongi angrily pointed at you.   This time, all of your friends stared at you, patiently waiting for your answer.   “I...” You looked away. This wasn’t supposed to happen. They weren’t supposed to find out this way. In fact, they weren’t supposed to find out at all. “Yoongi saw—“   “I kissed her.” Hoseok cut you off.   The five other boys gasped while Yoongi tried to attack Hoseok again. Fortunately, Jeongguk was able to stop him.   Seokjin asked you if it was true so you didn’t have a choice but to tell them the truth. You couldn’t afford to make it seem like this was Hoseok’s fault. Taehyung laughed after hearing you admit the truth. He started dancing and singing too.   “Hoseokie and noona, sitting on a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”   You closed your eyes and sighed heavily. You thought you could handle this calmly, but Taehyung was really getting in your nerves. This was ridiculous. “Can all of you just please shut the fuck up? Hoseok kissed me because I want him to do so! I wanted it to happen, alright? He didn’t force me!”   You were fuming as you glared at Yoongi.   “He didn’t force me, Min. So just....” You sighed again. “Please apologize to Hoseok. He didn’t do anything wrong.”   Deafening silence welcomed your group. The only sound you could hear was the harsh wave. It was Jeongguk who broke the silence.   “You want him to kiss you?” He asked innocently, his big doe eyes were sparkling. “Why? Do you like Hobi-hyung, Noona?”   You bit your lower lip. Did you need to answer his question? If yes, why? If no, why? But most importantly, did you like Hoseok?   You looked at your fuck buddy. It seemed like he was in great pain—he was biting his lip while trying to stop the blood from staining his white shirt. He was also looking at you, eyes full of hope. You wished you didn’t have to hurt him.   But you did anyway.   “I like him as a friend, Jeon.” You answered the maknae’s question, but your eyes were focused on Hoseok.   You noticed the tears that were threatening to fall from his eyes. It was obvious that he’s trying hard to stop it.   As much as Hoseok wanted you to love him, he was certain that forcing you to do so would only hurt you. The last thing he wanted was to hurt you. This being the case, he simply nodded, accepting defeat.   “I understand.” Hoseok smiled at you. “Thank you for being honest, sweetheart.”   “Sweetheart my ass.” Why did Yoongi need to always ruin the moment?   Seokjin rolled his eyes. Yoongi was so petty.   “Let’s clear this up, guys” The eldest spoke again. He asked you all to form a circle. Seokjin was inside that circle since he was the one who gathered all of you to swear something.   “Raise your hand if you want to remain friends with the people in this circle.”   All of you, except Yoongi, complied with Seokjin’s request. You had to pinch the side of Yoongi’s stomach just to urge him to raise his hand.   He did.   “Good. Do you swear to do the best that you can to protect and not harm one another?”   “I swear.” All of you said—except Yoongi. You pinched the side of his stomach again.   “Fine! I swear!” Yoongi swore through gritted teeth.   “Do you swear to never fall in love with the only girl in this group?”   “What!?” Your eyes widened. Your face felt hot. This was so unnecessary. “Seokjin! Stop overreacting! No one is going to fall in love with me here.”   “You sure about that, Noona?” Jeongguk asked, he was obviously pertaining to Hoseok.   “All they have to do is swear, Princess. If they aren’t going to fall in love with you, it will be easy to swear!” Seokjin grinned innocently that you could only roll your eyes.   Seokjin made them swear a few more statements before giving each one of you a bottle of beer.   “To our newly formed friendship!” He raised his bottle.   “To our newly formed friendship!” The seven of you repeated and that was it.   For years, Jimin managed to keep those promises, but you could never trust a man under the influence of alcohol. “I’m only saying this now because I am drunk and I can just pretend like I don’t remember anything tomorrow.” Jimin pouted his lips as he stared at you lovingly. You listened to him.   “I like you a lot, babe. I’m sorry. I know I can’t because I promised our friends that I will never fall in love with you, but...” Jimin hiccupped. “I just have to say it once. RM-depyonim called and told our friends that he also broke the promise and I thought...fuck it all. If the CEO can confess to you just like that, then why can’t I, right?”   “Jimin, you’re drunk...” You sighed. Were you supposed to say anything? Wasn’t it cruel to reject two of your friends in one night?   “I’m not!” Jimin chuckled. “Intoxicated people can’t do this—”   “Intoxicated people fall asleep while they’re talking, bitch.” You shook your head when Jimin lost consciousness. Damn. He was wasted.   “Hello, Manager Sejin? Yeah, it’s me...” You wiggled your brows as if the person you’re talking to on the other line could see you. “Uh, Jimin is drunk and we need you here. I’ll text you the location. Bye!”   By the time you finished talking, you immediately cut the line. You’re scared of their manager. The members always got in trouble whenever they were with you. If you weren’t friends with Namjoon and Yoongi, Manager Sejin would most likely forbid the members from going out with you.   “Sorry, Manager!” You made a face when Jimin’s manager almost tripped while trying to carry the singer on his back.   Guilt washed over you when Sejin just sighed. Were you being selfish? Was your attitude too much? Should you just really leave the boys alone?   That night, you went home alone. Exhaustion made you fall asleep easily. It was already past nine in the morning when you woke up. Your phone was full of messages from Jimin, causing you to worry. Did something happen to him?   As you unlocked your phone, you received a new message from him.   [9:58am] Park Jimin: I remember what happened last night, babe. Sorry about that. I promise to never say things like that again, though I never lie when I’m drunk. Don’t feel pressured about liking me back. I can always find another person to love as I am already contented just by being your friend. Have a good day! :D   You were glad that this day wasn’t going to be as awkward as you thought it would be. It was a good thing Jimin understood your situation as he didn’t force you to reciprocate his feelings for you.   Your plan for today was to just watch your and Seokjin’s favorite T.V show. You smiled to yourself thinking how angry he would get when you told him that you watched the new episodes without him; however, your smile faded when you realized that you weren’t in good terms with him.   You got mad at him last night for being concerned about you. But...could he blame you? He was judging Yoongi and Yoongi was your friend—his friend. How could he say those things?   The three of you had known one another for years. Yes. Min Yoongi dropped out of college, but it did not mean that he failed as a person. Yoongi reached his goal. He wanted to climb the social ladder. He did it by pursuing his passion for music and you couldn’t be more proud.   “Why are you crying when you’re watching a fucking sitcom?” You screamed so loud upon hearing that voice.   “Fuck! Yoongi! You scared the hell out of me!” You threw one BT21 pillow at him. He was going to be the death of you. Literally.

 “When did you arrive?”   “You know, you always tell Namjoon how you can rob his place and he wouldn’t even know it.” He snorted. “You’re just as horrible as he is.”   Yoongi caught the BT21 pillow in his hands and then he grimaced upon seeing that this pillow was Hoseok’s line character called Mang. Yoongi fucking hated Mang.   “I’m damn broke, Yoongels. They can only steal my books in med. I wouldn’t mind, tbh.”   Yoongi sat on the couch beside you. You bit his arm when he threw Mang on the floor.   “How dare you hurt my baby!” You nursed Mang in your arms. You spent a lot just to buy this pillow. Fuck capitalism, really.   “I’ll give you Taehyung and Jeongguk’s character for free. Just ditch Mang.”   “No! Why do you hate Mang so much?” You questioned your friend who was now engrossed in watching TV.   “I hate Mang as much as I hate Chimmy.”   “I thought you liked Chimmy!” You slapped his arms. Chimmy was Jimin’s character.   “That was before Jimin told us he confessed his love for you. Joon too.”   You kept your mouth shut. This was something you couldn’t just brag about. You respected both Namjoon and Jimin’s feelings.   “You’re not hard to love, you know?” He said seriously after calling your name softly. He was the only one who called you by your real name. All of your friends had a special nickname for you.   “Don’t tell me you’re about to confess your undying love for me too?” You burst into laughter because your own joke made you cringe. There was no way Yoongi liked you. Nope. That was impossible.   “What if I am?”   “Shut up.” You slapped his arms again. Yoongi was a terrible joker.   “Why? I loved you first.”   “Yoongi....” You warned. Your heart was going crazy. No. This couldn’t be happening again. You couldn’t handle to reject three of your friends in less than twenty four hours.   “I have loved you since the day you saved me.”   And just like that, memories of the past flashed in your mind.   Ten years ago, Min Yoongi came into your life. If Jimin saved you from danger, you could proudly say that you were once a hero just like Jimin.   Going to Han River had become a habit of yours whenever you felt sad. The night you met Yoongi, you were sad. Your parents were fighting again. You thought you had the worst problem in the world, but when you saw a man in Han River’s bridge, ready to jump and end his life, you realized that there were people who had it worse.   “No!” You were able to hug him before he could jump. His body was cold and he was shaking badly. You hugged him tighter as your tears fell. You were scared—too afraid to lose this stranger.   You expected him to struggle just so he could get away from you; however, he did the opposite of what you thought he’d do. He actually hugged you back.   “All I wanted is someone to hold me like this.” His voice was low and sad. It made you cry even more.   “I’ll do it. I’ll hug you all the time if you want. Just ...don’t leave.”   Yoongi was that boy. He was determined to end his life that night, but you saved him. You acted as if you were scared to lose him. You cared for him.   You were afraid to leave Yoongi alone again, and so you brought him at Seokjin’s apartment—this was the start of your friendship. You didn’t regret bringing Yoongi there. You learned to love him. To care for him. But then again, you could only love him as a friend.   Your heart wasn’t always sure who it loved, but it sure knew who it couldn’t love.   “You’re probably gonna reject me too. I respect what you feel.” Yoongi chuckled because who knew? Maybe you had heard this exact line from Jimin and Namjoon.   “No matter how romantic our proposal is, it is still up to you who to choose. I can’t say I can’t give up on you, especially if it is your wish.”   “You are my favorite among those people who confessed to me.” You said honestly, but Yoongi just glared at you.   You raised your hands as if you were surrendering.   “Fine! Second favorite. Namjoon’s still the best and you know I have a crush on that guy.”   “I will kick his ass later.”   “Wish I can do the same. Man, his ass is the bomb.”   “Where’s the lie though?”   You ended up laughing until your stomach hurt. Yoongi kept joking around and you were sure that he wasn’t doing this just to get rid of the awkwardness. Yoongi really loved the sound of your voice and your laugh.   But he wasn’t sure when he could see you smile again.   You really dropped out of medical school. It had been months now since you made that decision. You didn’t have to say it for them to know that you were sad. You were having a very difficult time and it was apparent. The boys knew you for always pretending like you were strong and that you could handle everything. This was one of the reasons why they admired you. Namjoon was the only person who knew what you truly feel and it was not because he could read you. It was because you let him read you.   But these days, Namjoon was busy with work. You couldn’t call Jimin now since his girlfriend didn’t really like you. Yes. He had a girlfriend now. He was not lying when he said he could always find a girl to love. Jimin loved easily. That’s just who he was.   Yoongi, on the other hand, was busy mending his broken heart. Sure. He respected your decision, but it did not mean he was okay. Yoongi loved you. It’s been a decade now. He couldn’t just decide to stop loving you.   There was no such thing as unloving someone. There was only forgetting. Your heart loved, but it tried so hard to forget the feeling of being in love—a defense to stop itself from the pain of rejection.   And so now you were stuck with Taehyung and Jeongguk, the two pests of your life.   “Hi, love.” Jeongguk winked at you.   “Go away, Jeon.” You wanted to throw the slice of pizza in his face. You couldn’t do it though. Not when there were other customers who could see you.   You swore he was testing your patience. You were trying to ignore Jeongguk’s sly innuendos, but his moves were getting out of control. This kid used to be so shy around you; sadly he was shamelessly flirting with you now.   “Don’t you need to record a new song or something?” You pressed the bell to let your co-worker know that one of the customer’s orders was ready.   “Thanks, Yeonjun.” You grinned at your co-worker who also smiled at you as he served the slice of pizza to the customer.   Your dad stopped giving you allowance the moment you told him you were quitting school. You had other job but it wasn’t enough since you had bills and rent to pay. You knew you couldn’t just sit in the corner and wait for a miracle. Although your miracle came in seven forms: your friends. They offered to give you money just so you didn’t have to work in this pizza parlor.   It was tempting, really. But you were not a gold digger. You loved your friends because they were fun to be with—not because all of them were wealthy. Besides, your job wasn’t as hard as what Taehyung made it seem to be. You were a cashier. Sure, there were irritating customers, but no one could annoy you the same way as Jeongguk and Taehyung could.   “Why don’t you say that to Taehyung too, Noona? He needs to record with me!” Jeongguk pouted, though you could still see his teeth. He lookee like a bunny.   “It is because our pretty noona adores me, Guk.” Taehyung who was sitting on a stool bar beside Jeongguk blurted out.   You sighed. Why did the owner decide to construct a bar counter with stool bars where customers could sit and enjoy their food? Didn’t your boss know that customers were annoying and that the cashier might get bald from dealing with people like Jeongguk and Taehyung?   “Excuse me? Didn’t she tell you you’re just like a baby brother for her?” Jeongguk teased his rival.   “No.”   The pizza parlor just opened, but you were already tired. You needed to remind yourself that this was your fault. You were the one who told them where you worked.   Both Jeongguk and Taehyung confessed their feelings for you many months ago. You thought they were kidding since your three other friends also told you they were in love with you. Unfortunately, they weren’t joking.   Jeongguk was serious—persistent and serious. He confessed first, defeating Taehyung. Jeongguk was endearing. He expressed his emotions by singing in this pizza parlor in front of the other customers.   Of course he was wearing a mask, a bucket hat, and a hoodie. He also changed the sound of his voice since he was afraid to be recognized by his fans.   You didn’t have the heart to reject Jeongguk that night. The boy was just so adorable, though you realized it was better to break his heart now rather than to give him false hope.   After all, you felt like it was the competitive side of him who liked you and not the real Jeongguk. The maknae always wanted to win. Perhaps he wanted to win your heart just to prove it to his hyungs that he could do everything.   When you told him this, Jeongguk was beyond repair.   “Do you really think I am that petty?” he was crying in pout. Your heart broke from seeing him this sad. He was not happy because of you.   “I’m sorry, Kookie.” You engulfed him into a motherly kind of hug. You just couldn’t imagine Jeongguk as your boyfriend. You were five years older than him. Besides, you had watched him grow up. Sometimes you felt like he was your son so when he told you he liked you, the word incest entered your mind.   You didn’t want Jeongguk to think that you see him as kid. He was so much more than a baby bunny for you. Jeongguk was a fine young man who was capable of sweeping people off their feet. He could be sexy if he wanted to. It’s just not gonna work with you.   Moreover, you didn’t understand why he suddenly took interest in you. Thankfully, Jeongguk explained it well.   “I just followed this little buddy of mine.” He pointed on his chest to refer to his heart. “Plus you’re always so good to me. You’re pretty and smart too!”   You wondered if it was because you always complimented him. Jeongguk seemed very happy when people praised him. “You’ll be able to find someone prettier, smarter and someone who can love you, Kookie.”   “But I’m not looking for anyone! You are the one I like!”   Jeongguk wasn’t as matured as his hyungs. Out of all the men who confessed to you, he was the only one who did not know when to give up. He was always at the pizza parlor. He never failed to give you roses each day. He even brought you chocolates, but he ended up eating them all while waiting for you to finish your shift.   Dealing with Jeongguk was stressful enough. It wasn’t like you wanted to deal with Taehyung too. He was as persistent as Jeongguk. Why did they end up falling in love with you?   At least Taehyung changed his ways from time to time. He liked to observe first by watching the move of his rival. Jeongguk brought you flowers and chocolates. You didn’t seem to like it so he took in mind not to buy those things.   He also figured out that singing a song and a casual confession did not impress you. Therefore, he needed to be different.   The only way he could think of was to get the approval of your dad first. He wanted to meet your mom since mothers easily trusted men. Unfortunately, your mom left you and your dad years ago. Taehyung had no other choice but to face your father.   Your dad instantly alarmed you. He was asking why Taehyung was suddenly confessing his love for you.   You rushed home to confirm this news. Taehyung was really there. His boxy smile was visible. Sadly it didn’t enchant you the way it made his fans crazy.   “Tae, you should go home.”   You knew you were being cruel. However, you couldn’t handle this anymore. This seemed like a big joke for you. Did they really think they could just declare their love for you whenever and wherever they wanted to?   You knew you should be thankful. Good and pretty boys loved you. Who were you to complain? But you see, this was exactly the problem. They were good and pretty boys. If their feelings for you were real, then they didn’t deserve to be rejected at all.   But what could you do? You just couldn’t teach yourself to love them the way they wanted to be loved. Taehyung went home defeated that night. He didn’t ask why you did not like him. He didn’t need your confirmation of the painful truth. Besides, it was not like he’d give up that easily.   You didn’t ask Taehyung why he liked you too. You realized you didn’t need their validation at all. If he told you what he liked about you, would you change yourself just so he could start disliking you?   “Noona, you okay?” Jeongguk asked, pulling you back to reality.   “Yeah, Kookie. I’m just not feeling well.” You forced a smile. It was the truth. You also didn’t want to deal with them today.   “D-Do you want me and Jeongguk to leave?” Tae offered politely.   Both of them instantly stood up when you nodded eagerly.   “See you later, love!” Jeongguk winked   “Yeah, pretty noona. See you soon!” Added by Taehyung.   You simply waved at them.   The see you later and see you soon of Jeongguk and Taehyung lasted for several months. For many weeks, they did not show up at the pizza parlor. It wasn’t like they did not want to see you. They were just busy with concerts and various shows both locally and internationally.   Your heart swelled in joy whenever you watched them on television. They really grew up well. They grew organically. Yoongi and Namjoon knew what they were doing. They cared for their artists a lot.   “You should audition to Paradise Entertainment, Yeonjun. You can be just like them.” You wiggled your brows at your co-worker.   It’s past eleven pm and you were about to close the pizza parlor. You and Yeonjun were the only ones left in the store. You both agreed to close the restaurant after watching Bangtan’s performance at MMA. The show was almost done anyway.   “I’ll try my luck soon, Noona. Thank you for supporting me.”   Yeonjun’s smile reminded you of Seokjin’s pretty lips. You missed the guy. If Bangtan was busy, Seokjin was busier. You hadn’t seen him since the day you left his house after he said something bad about Yoongi, but you two still text each other. Seokjin was in New York this day. He was supposed to be the MC in MMA’s award show, but due to conflicting schedules, he turned down the opportunity.   You missed Seokjin. You really did, though you understood that both of you were not kids anymore. You couldn’t just call and ask him to go see you.   “I’ll get going, Noona. Happy birthday again!” Yeonjun waved at you and left.   Your clock said it was already 11:58pm. Two minutes left before your birthday ended.   “Did he forget?” You kicked the pebble on your way. All of your friends greeted you a joyful birthday, except for one.   Was it because he was abroad? Did it have something to do with the different time zone? “He’s still stupid for forgetting my special day!” You let out your frustration by shouting.   You were standing in front of a wide street, patiently waiting for the green signal that would indicate if you could already cross the street. You were the only person here so you could freely express your emotion without getting shy. You could shout as loud as you wanted to.   “I hate you so much, Kim Seokjin!” You screamed again. One minute left. There was no way he’s gonna call or miraculously show up.   Except that you believed in miracle.   Except that Seokjin really showed up thirty seconds before your birthday officially ended.   “Happy birthday!” One second he was on the other end of the street, the other second, he was already standing before you.   His ears and neck were bright red and he was still trying to catch his breath. You didn’t know it, but he just got off the plane and he ran as fast as he could just to greet you a happy birthday.   “You didn’t forget.” Your tears fell as the first snow fell.   “How can I forget when I know you will be waiting for me?”   “Where’s my gift then?” You had the temerity to raise your brow at him.   Seokjin grinned at you. Without saying anything, he showed you the mistletoe he was holding.   “You know what this means, right?”   You blushed. Jin was always so polite and respectful. This was the first time he showed this kind of side of him.   You couldn’t say you hated it when in reality; it made your stomach turn.   “Is it okay if I kiss you?” And just like that, the Seokjin you knew was back. You missed his shy smile and sweet voice. You missed him. You miss him a lot.   And so you touched his broad shoulders as you tiptoed, you pressed your lips on his mouth, not minding how fast your heart beat.   “I was afraid and embarrassed, you know...” Jin told you as he nuzzled your nose.   You didn’t speak.   “I didn’t mean to sound cocky when I said the matter about Yoongi being a drop out. I don’t—I can never judge him like that. I’m sorry if you felt that way...”   You only tightened your grip on his shoulders.   “I’d also like to apologize for making the boys swear to never fall in love with you. I didn’t play fair and I was being selfish.”   “What do you mean?”   He sighed.   “I know one of the boys already told you that you are not hard to love, Princess. I also figured that they are all going to end up loving you. It scared me. They’re not difficult to like and I am sorry you are hearing this from me, but I just don’t think I’ll be able to handle it when you end up dating one of them.” Jin closed his eyes, his lips are shaking. “I’m sorry...” You bit your lower lip upon hearing his confession.   “I just need you to answer one question.” You said.   “What is it?” He opened his eyes.   “Do you love me?” Seokjin laughed because of this.   “Will I ditch four award shows and a meeting with Tom Cruise if I don’t love you?”   “Can you just answer with a simple yes or no?” You were getting impatient.   “You are like the first snow fall of the year, Princess.”   “I said yes or no, Seokjin.” You glared.   He ignored you.   “You are like the first snow fall.” He repeated. “No matter how long, I will still wait for time you are ready to fall. You are cold, but I will make sure you will melt because of my scorching love for you. So yes, I love you, Princess. I am in love with you—“   You didn’t wait for him to finish his sentence as you were already kissing him.   Seven boys. There were seven boys. It hurt you to reject the six of them, but if you did not do that, you won’t be able to kiss this one boy.   The one who could make your heart beat.   You chose Kim Seokjin. Your prince.

REPOSTED ON NOVEMBER 30, 2020.

[clockworkouroboros]

Hi guys, ready for some more crazy The Amazing Devil nonsense? Because I sure am! Basically, a while ago (like a week after The Horror and the Wild came out) I made a post comparing Wild Blue Yonder and That Unwanted Animal, because they’re basically a song about the same couple on the same night, but from wildly different perspectives. I still wholeheartedly believe that — there are just too many things that match up (I don’t think I even got all the connections in that post) — but I’m here to add a new thought: Battle Cries also fits in with this.

It’s not quite as on-the-nose, and I didn’t notice it right away because Battle Cries is full of references to other songs, both musically (the end of all things motif) thematically (Rockrose and the Thistle) and lyrically (catch references to almost every song on the album somewhere in there). It’s a masterpiece, and I still don’t understand how Joey and Madeleine did it. Anyway. So I noticed the connections to WBY and TUA, but I didn’t read anything into it, since there are references to other songs in Battle Cries.

But I’ve been thinking about it, and it really seems like it’s about the same couple, on the same night as Wild Blue Yonder and That Unwanted Animal. So this post is me going through Battle Cries and finding/pointing out as many references as I can.

I’m going to start with Madeleine’s part: she begins, “I’m at the brink, don’t laugh/at those winks I’ve masked/who’ll save you when you fall?” Now, I’ve thought of this as a direct reference to That Unwanted Animal for well over a month. I mean, consider: “well hello, my hollow Holofernes,’ I wink but you don’t get the joke” in TUA. Not only are these the only two mentions of winking in the whole album, but both also reference jokes/laughter at the same time.

I also want to point out “who’ll save you when you fall” with TUA, because the climax of That Unwanted Animal is “hold the hand of the god-child, they said as he falls from the sky, be good to me I beg of him,” which also fits with this. She saves him when he falls, and it destroys her. (That’s one possible interpretation, and one that fits with this post.)

“Who wins this war? You’ve a knack/for applause from the back of the stalls but you lack/the conviction to look at me straight/and say yes” are Madeleine’s next lines in Battle Cries, and I really can’t figure out how a lot of it would tie into WBY or TUA, except for the last part. “You lack the conviction to look at me straight and say yes,” which ties into Battle Cries later with “don’t lie with your eyes, you know I despise that look.” It also fits into TUA with “don’t you hear that scratching/I ask your eyes” and Joey’s “I’ve got something in my eye” in WBY. In all of this, she’s looking for confirmation of something in his eyes, and he can’t deliver that.

I’m skipping over “don’t be uncouth, be a man, don’t lie with your eyes you know I despise that look” because I already covered it in the last paragraph, and the next section doesn’t really have any direct parallels to either song, and that’s the end of the first verse!

Obviously “these plates they smash like waves/place your smile in mine” is a direct callback to TUA (“these plates they smash like waves/place your hand in mine”) although it does seem to be more of a relationship sort of thing, rather than a “hold the hand of the god-child” thing in this. (I personally think “Place your smile in mine” is supposed to mean a kiss.)

Also, not to read too much into something (I say, reading too much into everything TAD-related) but “these lines aren’t wrinkles, dear heart” reminds me very much of “I’ve got knuckleburn from typing all these lines into your chest.” I already have a theory that all mentions of lines in this song are intended to be read both as lines on skin (“these lines aren’t wrinkles” sort of thing) and as lines like in a play (“come on love, please don’t start, sing your notes play your part”.)

Also, an interesting thing to note: Madeleine never sings the “it’s applause” part of “that creaking you hear in my bones is not pain, it’s applause,” she just stops at pain. Which I think ties into this somehow, but this post is going to be long enough without me getting into that. So I’m just throwing it out there as something for y’all to consider. Feel free to add onto this with your own ideas if you so desire!

Madeleine’s part in verse 2 again seems to refer to TUA/WBY. I mean, even the “we were gods” (and Joey’s “we were kids” response) goes hand in hand (ha) with the God-Child. They (or even just Joey) were gods and children at the same time. (Alternatively, this could be Joey refuting Madeleine’s point: “we were gods,” she says, and he replies with a sad, nostalgic smile, “no, we were kids,” but I prefer the other reading because the gods theory is very near and dear to my heart.)

The “come at me, you blaggards” section has a lot of things that interest me, but they’re in Joey’s part, so I’m skipping over it for now, and instead going on to “I’m not a drunkard, a daughter, a creature, God knows how you dragged us both into the darkness that grows.”

This section screams TUA especially to me. The drunkard part references earlier in Battle Cries (plus other references to drinking, like in Marbles or FW?), and the daughter part references (directly contradicting) THatW, but “a preacher” is interesting, because in TUA, Madeleine refers to herself as a priest. (“I’m the paper cut that kills you and the priest that you ignored”.) I’ve mentioned elsewhere (probably not on Tumblr, mostly I spew my bs on Discord) that this section is Madeleine directly refuting claims about her from earlier songs on the album, and this is notable because this is the only claim that she makes about herself that she contradicts. But that’s beside the point. “You dragged us both into the darkness that grows” is also interesting within this reading (although I have a lot of thoughts about this line just in general, but I’m trying to stay on focus a little bit), because it really fits with the “‘be good to me I beg of him,’ ‘No, no, not I’” at the end of TUA. Like I said earlier, she saves him, and it (he) destroys her.

(Notice also how Madeleine’s character blames Joey, while Joey sings “we sunk into water no creature can know,” not distributing blame to either party.)

Next is the biggest WBY/TUA section of this entire song: Madeleine sings “I won’t leave without a fight,” while Joey sings “I won’t let you turn our last night into this.” This is a breakup, their last night together, just like in WBY (“one last time, love, come and rip my clothes off”). And Madeleine’s picking the fight, while Joey doesn’t want a bad ending. It perfectly fits the narrative that both WBY and TUA have already created. (Also: “I’m gonna binge watch a box set, drink wine, reminisce” with “the wine stains hide the tears” earlier?)

To move onto Joey’s part, obviously his lines are more lighthearted, hopeful, all of that. In verse one, he seems to be looking back at the night: check out his “the wind feels so warm on the back of my neck, as I walk with the sun hand-in-hand from the wreck, some fictions we took to mean fate, believe me I know.” The wreck goes well with the storm and wind that keeps being mentioned in TUA, plus TUA’s “I make shipwrecks out of my dress and the door below us splinters.” This is afterwards. The sun has come out after the storm. “The wrinkles and bricks” bit that he sings first also goes well with this, especially the “fictions we took to mean fate.” Compare it with Madeleine’s “every brick you hurled I’ll use to build this world” in WBY.

Also, not to bring back a theme, but truth and eyes are both mentioned in Joey’s part, except he’s not accusing Madeleine of lying. “Tell the truth to me love, does my hair look as nice as it did when you once tied it up in your eyes?” Just something I thought was worth mentioning.

Joey’s part in verse 2 similarly complements Madeleine’s. “With you I could summon the gods and the stars, make them dance out the plays that we wrote from the heart, and we’d laugh at the ghosts of our fears.” I’m going to draw from both this and the “come at me, you blaggards” section because, as I mentioned earlier, I have a lot of thoughts about this.

What I really have focused on is the “wielding words” aspect of this section. (“Wielding words against make-believe wizards and tanks” which again, refers back to “some fictions we took to mean fate” but that’s not important right now.) Words as weapons/something to be feared pops up multiple times in this album, and notably, it shows up in all three songs I’m talking about. “Those words we flung for fear of sound” in WBY, “you turn the telly on to drown out your fear and make the bed up silent on the floor so no one will hear us” in TUA both have this idea of words/sound being something to fear. (Consider also THatW’s “you’re the words that I promise I don’t mean”.) However, Joey considers these a fiction at this point: “we laugh at the ghosts of our fears.”

The next section is “but we sunk into water no creature can know, you dragged us along to watch all of your shows, our devils broke rank and out of the depths came an army,” which. Hoo boy. Sinking into water fits with the shipwreck/storm idea of That Unwanted Animal, and the idea of an army coming out of those depths against them works well with all the things they’re afraid might be out there in WBY. (wolves, demons, robot vampire, i dunno!)

Joey’s “I won’t let you turn our last night into this” fits well with the idea of Madeleine coming in and turning the situation into what happens in TUA. And the last verse of the song seems to be an actual ending to this story. While both WBY and TUA end before the night does — WBY with “I’ll bruise you” and TUA with the god-child refusing to be good to her, another parallel, I think — Battle Cries ends with a proper resolution to the situation. It’s the one part of Battle Cries that doesn’t fit with the other two songs, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t an extension of those songs.

I know this isn’t everything but this post has gotten really, really long so if you want extra thoughts about this, feel free to send an ask my way! And as always, if you have thoughts of your own, I love seeing people add on to these posts.

TLDR: the songs Wild Blue Yonder, That Unwanted Animal, and Battle Cries are all songs about the same couple on the same night. Battle Cries is only different in that it gives a conclusion to the story.

[multifandomaddictedfangirl]

The Vampire Diaries Thoughts & Opinions (rewatch)

S1 :

OMG I completely forgot how cheap was this show! The dialogues in s1 feels so forced and fake 🤮 Not to blame the actors, but sometimes it feels really unnatural, like you know you’re in a fantasy young adult tv show. It doesn’t feel like real life, like what real people would do/say. It’s too obnoxious and dramatic and... overly intense ?? 😕 Rewatching it, it might be the biggest flaw of the early seasons 🤷‍♀️

They all look SO YOUNG tough 😳

Mmmm... Stefan acts like a total creep in s1, it’s really giving me Twilight vibes 😅 like if I was Elena/Bella, I would be terrified of Stefan/Edward ! 😰 They’re creepy and stalky and weirdly intense / edgy about ordinary stuff... Their entire personality screams : “I AM A VAMPIRE AND I CANNOT CONTROL MYSELF AROUND YOU” which... #yikes 🤔

Caroline Forbes is my favorite character of the entire show, I love her SO much ❤️ “I’m never the one” is still one of the most powerful lines, for me, and I loved her characterisation throughout the show

Matt has been irrelevant since s1 🙄, honestly he was maybe funny/quirky in the double-date episode and regarding his relationship with Caroline (while not having moved on from Elena)...? But that was like a couple of episodes and apart from that he was just useless. I do not understand why he stayed alive that long

Jeremy.... oh Jeremy 😔 He was... such a cliché! He was what adults see as the “typical” rebellious edgy teenager who does nothing of his life except smoking weed. And no, I don’t like that caricature. His relationship with Vicky... 🤷‍♀️ I mean, sure, it was sweet that he cared for her that way and that he saw more in her than just the “stoned-ass trashy girl” 💁🏻‍♀️ that she was supposed to embody. But Jeremy really acted like “The Nice Guy”and it seemed like he was expecting something for being nice with Vicky. He acted like if Vicky owed him something, while she never asked for him to interfere in her problems 🙅‍♀️ I don’t know, I guess he was just supposed to be a lost teen, damaged by trauma, and I get that.

OK, so if I was Elena, seeing Katherine’s picture would FREAK. ME. OUT 😱 I would run away. So far away. I would tell everyone I love to run away 👀 I would just completely shut down. I would never want to see the guy ever again (who clearly has a fetish and an unhealthy obsession!!). I mean, talk about being clinched to your ex

Damon and Caroline’s relationship was SO TOXIC in s1 !! 💥 And the show never really acknowledged that!! I mean, sure, they did, but I don’t think Damon realised the pain he caused her: he manipulated her, fed on her, hurt her, compelled her, used her to get what he wanted, abused her, put her life in danger, over and over again 🤢🤬😡

LEXIIIIIIIIII 💖💖💖 Finally! I remember I liked her a lot, but she’s just one of the best, purest character! I’m so happy Stefan can AT LEAST count on her 💕

WHAT?! 😱 SHE DIED SO SOON IN THE SHOW??!?? 💔😭 I didn’t remember that at all! I think my mind erased that fact from my mind because it hurt too much!

Ugh, Logan 😑

I hate what they did with Bonnie 😡 In s1 she’s this incredibly judgy character who ruins every single plan by having ridiculously high moral standards (for this fictional universe, at least), ugh. I love her but they used her to create unnecessary conflict in the show and she didn’t deserve that. Also she didn’t deserve all the pain, the deaths & the misery. She’s one of the (many) characters who have suffered SO MUCH throughout the seasons and they really did her dirty and i’m so mad about that !!

The flashbacks from 1864 were quite well done. I always found it interesting to learn more about Katherine’s past and the Salvatore brothers’ tragic origin story.

*sighs* John Gilbert... urrffffgh 🙄

Isobel being Elena’s biological mother AND Alaric’s ex wife was... so weird 🤨

Overall, I don’t have a lot of opinions for that season because I was bored half of the time 🤷‍♀️ I just really wasn’t interested about the plot and/or the characters because it was all so cliché and cheap. This season was really bad. It’s not working at all, for me at least.

S2 :

Katherine is a GREAT character and you can’t fight me on that 💁🏻‍♀️👠👑

The addition of the werewolves was quite a good idea, though it was predictable so far. Werewolves and vampires often come together in fantasy 🤷‍♀️ Tyler’s storyline was interesting though 🤔 The whole idea of a curse that you activate when you become responsible for someone’s death, no matter your intentions, was good.

CAROLINE BECOMING A VAMPIRE WAS ONE OF THE BEST THING HAPPENING TO THIS SHOW : YES ! 👏 She was such a better person as a vampire. She was arguably the best vampire of them all, the one who truly succeeded the most at adapting at her new life 💕

I DO NOT understand WHY Damon would ask for troubles to Mason, a werewolf, whose bite is DEADLY to him 🙄

Elijah was so different in s2 than I remembered. So uptight, and yet so evil ?? I remembered him as the nice brother in the Michaelson family. But the way he relentlessly targets Rose and her family and friends... yikes 😣🥺

Klaus was so HYPED by the show. Even Katherine herself was terrified of him 😱 And when you think about it, he might be one of the most dangerous creature of TVD’s lore... 🧐 But compared to other vilains, he was quite friendly.

Bonnie and Jeremy... mmm.... sure. You know what, it doesn’t scream “soulmate” but it doesn’t have to be. It can be just a messy, complicated, unexplainable crush. It can just be two people liking each other and enjoying each other’s company without trying to look for a deeper thing. Plus the situation is so awkward, with Jeremy being Bonnie’s best friend’s little baby brother, that it was fun to watch! 😄

My heart still feels for Jenna 💔 She had just learnt the truth about vampires and she had JUST figured out why everyone in her life was acting so weird... and then she died. And idk she was a lovely, messy, funny, pure heartface, completely lost gardian... 💕 and I’m gonna miss her. I would have liked to see her react to what happened next on the show (and how she could have supported Elena & Jeremy through all of this, etc.) 🥺

OF COURSE STEFAN WOULD MAKE A DEAL WITH KLAUS TO GET A CURE FOR HIS BROTHER! Is this Supernatural?

So, yeah, same thing here: most of the storylines developed in this season didn’t interest me whatsoever. So I don’t have a lot of things to say about this season, but just bear with me pls 🐻

S3 :

I absolutely adore Stefan as a ripper in s3. Especially regarding his complicated relationship with Klaus... I think his dependency / addiction to blood is really interesting 🤔 Stefan can’t be a regular vampire, drinking blood from humans then erasing their memories / drinking from blood blags. He can’t because he feels so guilty for the lives he takes / the pain he inflicts on other. So he’s like all or nothing 🤷‍♀️ A human blood-free diet guy. Or a merciless killer.

Regarding of the whole delena / stelena ship war... *sighs* 😔 I honestly don’t know 🤷‍♀️ Both relationships seem hella toxic (for different reasons, but still). I do believe Elena loved them both (maybe not at the same time, though). So, I don’t know who she should have ended up with... I remember shipping her with Damon on my first watch, but now I realise that was purely for the bad boy vibes (i.e bad boy, who, deep down, isn’t so bad because turns out he can change and blah blah blah... ugh what a cliché i know 🙄). So anyway, I’m not gonna defend Delena, it’s as messed up as Stelena if you ask me. But that’s where my heart went on the first watch and that’s who she canonically ends up with, so I’m not gonna fight it and try to make a case of whether she should have ended up with another person (or alone?). In my head, she’s with Damon 🙃 Just cause’ it’s easier, more convinient, and I’m lazy that way 😅 But I understand people who ship/prefer Stelena over Delena. I’m just not THAT invested in this freaking love triangle anymore ✋

The show really took off when they introduced the original vampires if you ask me 🧛‍♂️ Their backstory is so tragic, and after that, it makes more sense why Elijah, Rebekah and Klaus are so close, trust each other so much and manage to forgive the worst of each other💖

Rebekah, that poor girl who only ever wanted to have a human normal life and to BOND with people (whether they were family, friends or more than friends...) 💕has been betrayed by EVERYONE 🔪She was daggered more times than I can even count, and I’m surprised she hasn’t killed everyone out of pure revenge yet!

Yeeeeep. Still ships Klaroline. ❤️

My God, what would I give to see Caroline explore this world and enjoy the perks of her vampire life with Klaus...🥰 She wanted that. She secretly dreamed of that. And frankly, she deserved that. She deserved to feel happy and fulfilled and excited about her future! She deserved more than the life she got in Mystic Falls ✨ More than Tyler! More than Jessy. More than Damon. And more than Stefan too, even if she did seem happy with him in the end. I think I liked Klaus as a romantic option for the same reasons I liked Damon back then. For the challenge. For the way they always push their girlfriends further, and make them want more of life than what they’ve got. For the way they make them ambitious.

I think the reason this season feels so useless is because they try to find a way to eliminate the Original family... only to find out that if they do that, EVERY VAMPIRE EVER WILL ALSO DIE 👏

I despised the whole evil alter ego trope that they did with Alaric 😪😴 I liked the idea of the ring having real bad consequences. But here, Alaric can’t take responsibility for wanting to cheat on death precisely because he has a second personality that he cannot control. The blame is just put on somebody else, an entire other person that just cohabits in Alaric’s body. I never really liked the whole Dr Jekill & Mr Hide trope 🤷‍♀️ And I don’t think it was bringing anything to the table, honestly. It’s boring (because SO obvious and predictable) and it takes forever to deal with (ugh) 😑

NOOOOOOOOOO RICK 😭💔 He was one of my favorite character. I really loved his relationship with Elena and Jeremy + his friendship with Damon. I’m gonna miss him really hard. The scene with Damon on his grave was really sweet 🥺

S4:

Elena being a vampire : YES! 👏 We’ve been waiting for this for so long, the show really needed this to go on (realistically the show would have had trouble to move on if Elena would have stayed human for a lot longer). So I’m really glad about that being the premise for s4 ☺️ Plus her transition is well handled, with her memories coming back + her emotions being heightened (the scene where she bursts into laugh and cannot stop was really funny and somehow relatable 😂).

The scene in the car with Stefan, Matt & Elena VS Stefan, Elena & her father was really well done! 👏 I loved the parallel where she wants Stefan to save Matt first, just like her father wanted him to save Elena first. So touching 💕 It’s a tough choice and Stefan will have to live with both consequences for the rest of his life, which will NOT be easy with Damon blaming him for Elena’s death. But, really, Damon kinda has a point : "in what world are you [Matt] the one that gets to live?”. Matt has been saved so many times on the show and it’s legit to ask yourself : WHY? Why him? 🤷‍♀️He’s so irrelevant and useless. But I get that’s the whole point. Human life is irrelevant and useless (in the great scheme of things). And yet, we fight for it ✊ Because somehow it matters.

S4 helped me remember what I didn’t like about Stefan, regarding his relationship with Elena. He really had a big problem with her being a vampire, and he spent half of his time trying to “control” / “fix” her 🙄 He’s got such high standards for Elena when she turns into a vampire. It’s like he expects her to not make the same mistakes as he - or any other vampire in the history of vampirism - did. He desperately wants her to be a “good” vampire right away and avoid the “killer without humanity” phase 🤔 Which is understandable. He doesn’t want her to become a bad vampire who doesn’t care about human life, as he was during his ripper phase (or like Damon).

Damon truly accepted her, the new her, vampire! Elena 👐 You can argue that it’s because he’s selfish and he wants people to act as bad and carelessly as him (that’s why he tried to manipulate Stefan into drinking human blood again in s1 : he doesn’t want to be alone and he needs someone else to party with)... But he isn’t selfish when it comes to Elena 🤷‍♀️ The show proved us that. He wanted her to have a human normal life, to be happy, to grow old and have children. He wanted to give her that, and that’s why he would have saved her over Matt on the bridge. He’s not happy that she is a vampire. That’s not what he wanted. Never. But now that she is, and that there’s nothing they can do about it (that they know of), Damon tries to make the best out of it

Anyway, Caroline is such a better teacher then Damon or Stefan 😅 Drop the Salvatore brothers and get educated on the vampire life with your bff, Elena !

Elena being sired by Damon, OMMGG! 😮😮😮 So much drama, I really loved it. It was smart to use that as a way to postpone Delena for a little bit - playing on the general doubt that Elena might not truly love Damon and she might just be under the influence of the sire bond. Which, let’s be honest, was a legit consideration to have. So, yeah... REALLY GLAD that, in the end, the sire bond didn’t create those feelings out of nowhere, it only heightened and amplified what was already there beforehand. Otherwise, it would have been really problematic, especially regarding consent issues 😕

I love that Damon makes the right choice again with Elena and “sets her free”. He doesn’t want their relationship to be fake. And so he uses the sire bond to send her away, to be herself, to live her life without worrying about what makes him happy. You can say everything you want about Damon, at least he gets it right by her ☝️Just like when he confessed his feelings to her, but compelled her to forget because she’s in love with Stefan and he doesn’t want to mess it up. He was not selfish when it came to her.

It was really heartbreaking to see Jeremy becoming a hunter and having the sudden urges to kill his own sister and basically everybody else in his life 😢

Poor Carol Lockwood! 💔 She didn’t deserve to die. She tried so hard to help for Tyler, even when she learnt he was a werewolf, she cared so much for him...😭

Their inability to communicate with each other is INSANE. At some point in s4, they all know Shane is practicing a magic called “Expression”. Damon and Stefan also know that kind of magic is incredibly dark and dangerous (from their little trip to New Orleans when they tried to find a way to deactivate the sire bond and the witch there told them she wasn’t practicing this kind of magic). But NO ONE has still put two and two together. And so, Bonnie keeps blindly trusting Shane and hanging out with him 🤦‍♀️

The whole search for the cure was quite interesting and entertaining to watch! Each one of them wanted it for a different reason : destroy it, use it, share it, give it away, save it for later... Which really well portrayed how people can react to the idea of mortality. The fact that there’s only one dose was really genius! That makes it even more interesting to see who’s gonna fight for it (i.e. Rebekah, Stefan), who’s gonna just drop it because turns out they didn’t really want it to begin with (i.e. Damon, Caroline), who’s gonna exchange/bargain it and for what (i.e Katherine, maybe), who’s gonna get it the end and what will they do with it. Will it all be worth it? 🧐

Jeremyyyyy 💔😭 R.I.P 💀

Honestly, even though I still think Matt is irrelevant to the show, let’s remember he also has lost every single person in his life (his dad and his mom are basically gone, Vicky is dead, Tyler left town again, his goddamn history teacher died too) - and now he can add Jeremy, his best friend, to the list 😭 He’s handling it all WAY better than anyone else. I mean you don’t see him burning down the house he grew up in for instance! However, I agree that Elena have lost more people in her family than him (her adoptive parents, Jenna, Alaric, Jeremy, even John... and Isobel is basically gone too). But it’s not like you can compare their lost, anyway. They boty suffered a lot, but I just wanted to say... I liked that the show acknowledged Matt lost someone important for him too 💕

No humanity! Elena, OOMMMGGG!! 🤯 I was so mad when it happened, because Damon could have just used the sire bond to make her deal with her brother’s death, he could have just helped through the grief and tell her it was going to be okay. He didn’t need to make her turn off her humanity 🙄 Real dumb move here!

I kinda liked the friendship between Elena without humanity and Rebecca! Their little trip starting off in NY was fun!

Katherine is, and will always be, the baddest bitch in town! ❤️ I was quite surprised to see her kill Jeremy so heartlessly, but I guess it fits the character. She’ll always be looking out for herself and the opportunity to take the cure and be one step ahead of everyone was obviously too good to leave out. She always had to fight for her own survival, in a world that’s always been dangerous and ruthless against her, so it makes sense she became who she is 🤷‍♀️

Of all the things that could have triggered Elena’s humanity flip switch, really? Matt Donovan? 🤨😑 I mean, it makes sense since Elena seems to value his life over everything else, including her own. But from what we’ve seen so far, she wasn’t really happy when she was dating Matt 😕 They used to fight a lot, they didn’t want the same thing out of life, they just were really different people. And that’s fine, they didn’t work out as a couple, but they can stay friend... Except you don’t really see them interract THAT much as friends. I mean it’s a lot of "say" and not enough "show", for me 🧐 You don’t feel the bond that two best friends should have... between them. You don’t see inside jokes, common interests, similar hobbies, laughters and tears, serious conversations that last for hours, or small talks over the phone... Anyway, from what we were shown so far, she shouldn’t feel that close to Matt. Not more than, idk, Bonnie, Caroline, Damon or Stefan for instance! So the fact that she cares SO MUCH about him is kinda strange 🤔

“He was your first love, I intend to be your last. However long that takes” LOOK WHO’S BAAAACK 👀 My favorite hybrid! Awww of course he was gonna come back for Caroline ❤️

Btw the ceremony was very cute 💕 It’s the end of high school! The end of an era! And they all graduated 🍾🎊🎉

Awwwwww, when Bonnie dropped the veil and everyone got to see their dead friends and family again! Stefan & Lexi, Damon and Alaric, Elena & Jeremy 💖

BONNIIIIIE, OH NOOOO, WHYYY 😭💔 oh no no no no no no no, she wants to keep her death a secret from everyone, that is such a bad idea!!! 😣

OMG SILAS IS A DOPPELGÄNGER OF STEFAN !!! 🤯 POOR STEFAN IS STUCK IN THE BOTTOM OF THE LAKE AND NO ONE KNOWS, NOOOOOO 💔😭

S5 :

The whole college experience with Caroline and Elena was so fun to rewatch😁 I wish Bonnie could have been there though, even if she kinda was.

It feels good to watch Elena and Damon being happily in love together and enjoying the summer ❤️☀️ But when you think about Stefan drowning over and over in that lake... it feels so bad :(

Katherine as a human is devastatingly entertaining! "I’m the freaking moonstone" 🤣 So iconic that she, of all people, took the cure! I loved that twist.

I loved the complicated and messy love triangle between Quetsiya, Amara and Silas. I want to empathise with Quetsiya and support her, because Silas screwed her over in such a supernatural, mystical way... he cheated on her and tricked her. He manipulated her to get what he wanted. So yeah, I’m all team Quetsiya ✊ but then again, she is sort of over-paranoid and obssesive? 🤷‍♀️ And being screwed over by a guy doesn’t exactly justify her quest for vengeance. So... I guess the only one who’s okay is Amara?? We don’t see a lot of her but I respect her wish to die after thousands of year in pain, as the anchor of the other side (which, btw, was BRILLIANT! 🤯 Quetsiya’s a genius! o.O)

"You are my life" ❤️ GOD, Damon always finding the right words!

I hate the travelers storyline 🙅‍♀️ I find it incredibly boring and I’m not that attached to Nadia. The only thing I liked about her was her relationship with her mom, Katherine. But apart from that, I don’t really like them as villains, nor as their storyline with Silas 😑😕

Stefan loosing his memory is okay-ish. It’s such a cliché as a trope, but it sort of works because Paul Wesley does such a great work at portraying different Stefans 👍 and it’s always entertaining to watch. And even though I usually ship Delena, I have to admit Elena recreating some moments with Stefan was very cute! 💕So it works but I’m not a big fan.

What I am a big fan of is the evolving relationship between Damon and Jeremy! 🥰 I mean, you can see that he didn’t really care about him, that he was mostly protecting him as a way to please Elena... But then, something changed 🤔He started caring for him for real, kinda like a big brother would:)

"You’re Katherine Pierce. Suck it up" hell yes 💪 keep fightingt, love !

Awwwwwww Bonnie 💔 Why do you always have to sacrifice yourself and put everyone else’s happiness before your own?? It’s really sad to see her becoming the anchor of the other side, feeling literally every single death of all the supernatural beings out there :’(

The Augustine vampire storyline!! 😮I’ve had completely forgotten about that! I love how they connected Damon with that institution, and how they introduced Enzo as Damon’s old mate. Well done👍

Katherine in Elena’s body: OMG! Love it! She’s such a survivor ❤️ That’s gonna mess things up so bad xD (btw the fact NO ONE notices anything is kinda weird and if I was Elena, I would be offended)

Nooooooo, don’t break up with Damon as Elena !!! 😱😱 Uuuughhh!!! Whyyy 😭

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG CAROLINE SLEPT WITH KLAUS !!! ❤️HELL YAS B**CH!!! SHE FINALLY ADMITTED HER FEELINGS FOR HIM !!! THEY KISSED !!! IT’S OFFICIAL !!! (i know klaus will never come back to TVD ever again buuuut... i’m still so so SO happy about that Klaroline reunion!)

Awwwww my baby Liv ❤️ I’ve missed her, she was so precious in season 5 !

Katherine AGRESSIVELY flirting with Stefan, while pretending to be Elena, was... both fun and hard to watch 😅Katherine was soooo pushy! And the fact that Stefan still doesn’t see she’s not Elena was infuriating! Like there’s just no way Elena would ever act like that!

"You’re never gonna as interesting as the next guy she wants to sleep with” poor Nadia 😭 that’s so true though :/ she didn’t deserve to die, I was really sad for her. She deserved a better life than the one she’s got 💔💔💔

FINALLY! 🙌 Finally they put two and two together and figured out Katherine is inside Elena’s body! Thank God 🙏 Caroline made me laugh so much with her "it’s Elena, we would have noticed something" speech. I was like YES. MY POINT EXACTLY 👏 I loved when they figured out all the little details that have been wrong ever since the beginning of this whole mess, like : Katherine was the reason that Tyler knew Caroline slept with Klaus. And Caroline’s like : oooohhh it all makes sense now. Wow. Congrats for figuring this out just now! 🙄

R.I.P Katherine ❤️ Weirdly, she will be missed. She did deserve better.

Jeremy was kind of a jerk with Bonnie in s5 ? I mean he was okay in the first few episodes i guess but then he completely ignored her... not cool bro, not cool 👎

The whole "Why do people seem to expect more of me?" speech of Caroline felt very relatable 👏 Just because she’s kind, because she’s trying to do good, doesn’t mean it’s easier for her! 😤 Plus, why do people keep slut-shaming her for having sex with Klaus when she’s not the first, nor the last, to have had one night stands with - arguably - bad people! ✋

Damon and Elena breaking up : lol 😆 As if. We know they’re endgame. Please. It’s only a matter of episodes until they find their way back to each other, which is why they are kinda cute as a couple.

Ugh 😑 Markos 🤦‍♀️ I just can’t ✋

Bonniiiiiiiiiiie !! Stop lying to everybody!! I hated how she was pretending she had a spell to escape the Other Side collapsing! Haven’t you learnt anything by now? Talk to your friend, figure out a plan together and if not, at leat say your goodbyes and enjoy your last moments with them!

Did I already say I hate the travelers storyline? Well, I do. I hate it 🤬

Season 5 finale was PEFRECT, I loved it. Bonnie resurrecting everyone, Liv doing the spell, Silas helping them just to be destroyed in the end (a fitting ending), Damon and Elena driving through the Grill to kill all the travelers, Alaric coming back, Markos dying... BUT. But, but, but, I was so upset about Damon!! It was just a matter of time and if they would have just kept going with the spell for a few seconds (damn you, Luke!), he would have been able to come through! And Lexi, omg 😭 at least she found peace❤️

Btw, that’s exactly what I meant about Bonnie’s character. Throughout the seasons she never stops sacrificing herself for other people (sometimes those people don’t even deserve it). She keeps lying to everyone. She lied when she died the day of graduation. She didn’t say how much it hurt her to be the anchor. She lied when she said they had a way to bring her back from the Other Side when it was collapsing. She kept minimising her (big-ass) problems. She kept putting other people before herself. And she’s one of the characters who suffered the most. Her storyline revolves around pain. The show doesn’t allow her to be fully happy. And btw, no one truly cares about her happiness (except maybe Jeremy and then Enzo), at least not when somebody else’s safety or comfort is at play. She’s never number 1 on the priority list. If somebody needs her to do a spell or whatever, they will use her. No matter how much danger she puts herself in 🤬

"Please don’t leave me” 😭😭😭 I felt that... It crushed my heart 💔

S6 :

I loved the way everybody coped with Bonnie and Damon’s deaths 💕 Elena got addicted to some magical herbs that made her hallucinate Damon again because she couldn’t deal with his death. Jeremy left a tone of angry voicemails to Bonnie’s old phone - which he paid for. Caroline got dragged into work and research in order to find a way to get back in Mystical Falls. Stefan moved on completely and started off a new life. It’s just... a nice way to show grief 😊

Ooohh I smell some Steroline moments!! Poor Caroline. To me, she deserved better than Stefan! He was such a jerk to her, especially in the beginning 😤😡

NOOOOOOOOOOOO 💔 ELENA DON’T ERASE YOUR MEMORIES! WHAT! WILL! YOU! DO! WHEN! DAMON! INEVITABLY! COMES! BACK! Elenaaaaa 😤 You have to learn how to deal with grief for real !

The fact she trusts Rick completely to do that was so beautiful though... They’re family and it was nice to see their bond.

Bonnie and Damon were kinda cute ! Like I don’t ship them, per say. But I get why some people do 🤷‍♀️ They had chemistry and they worked as an enemies to lovers trope. Anyway, I personally liked their friendship, how they both learnt how to support each other, how to function as a team, how they helped each other through the worst! In the end, Damon truly cared about her, and that’s why he was ready to do anything in order to save her 💪

Kaaaaaaiiiiii 🙈 i’m so conflicted about ya

I totally ship Jalaric ! ❤️ I loved how Elena tried to fix them up together! They’re really cute together. They both have complicated pasts and a messy family. They understand each other :) And Jo is such a confident woman! She knows what she wants, she’s not afraid of speaking her mind, she’s kinda fierce!

The fact that Elena wanted her memories back JUST when Alaric became human again was just... aaarrghh 🤬

"I think I deserve better than that” YES 👏 YOU 👏 DO 👏 CAROLINE! Stefan treated you like shit and you’re right to protect yourself, sweatheart 💕 I really didn’t like how he tried so hard to make amends... without acknowledging how much he hurt her, how he abandoned everyone, how he behaved like a jerk. I liked that Caroline took some distances for her own good 💖 #SelfRespectIsReal

The Gemini coven was really interesting. This idea of such a dysfunctional family, with a psychopath brother who killed half his siblings to merge with his twin sister in order to get leadership for the coven... it was all very compelling! Loved it ❤️

I think I have a thing for storylines about supernatural families in TVD : the Salvatores, the Mikealsons, the Parkers !

Liv and Tyler... mmm... don’t care 🤷‍♀️

You’re telling me that Damon got out of the prison world, even KAI got out, and BONNIE still gets stuck over there!! 🤬 Wtf ?? Why does this show hate this character so much? Why is she always the one who gets screwed in the end?? I just hate the way they treated her!! 😱

There was literally no good outcome to that whole twin-merging-together mess. If Liv merged with Luke, one of them would die and that’s not an option! If Kai merged with Jo, there was a huge chance he would win, which is simply not acceptable at all. Anyway, what a mess!

Kai literally sucking all the magic from the travelers’ spell, finally breaking it, allowing vampires to come back to Mystic Falls, was just... wOw! o.O

Luke merging with Kai 😭 R.I.P 💔

The ONLY good thing about that merge was watching Kai trying to deal with his feelings like ??? what’s going on??? 🧐🧐Why do i... feel??... stuff ?? 🤨🤨

"So I googled how to process emotional pain", i mean i hear you my boy, let’s not pretend that’s not my usual monday 👩🏻‍💻 "so i start writing and this water literally started pouring in my eyes ?? does that ever happen to you ??”, again same 😂

Jeremy going to art school... meh, it was okay. Clearly they didn’t know what to do with him anymore, so yeah, why not art school? 🤷‍♀️ The going-away party was nice :) Damon giving a joint to Jeremy was sort of sweet, Elena smoking it with him was also cool and quite funny!

Ugh 😑 Enzo & Sarah Salvatore... 🙄 this storyline was so boring, i just didn’t care

First Steroline kiss! 😳😮 Okay, that was kinda cute, I have to admit. But still, I don’t like the fondation of this ship, I think that Stefan hurt her too bad and, most importantly, didn’t respect her enough to get to come back and kiss her.

Sheriff Forbes being sick was KILLING me 😭😭😭 She didn’t deserve that at all, she was the sweatest, kindest, purest, most compassionate woman on this show... and she passed it on to Caroline...

The scene with the bike and little Caroline was so touching ❤️❤️😭 RIP Liz’!

OMGOMGOMG!!! Caroline flipped her humanity switch! 😱 "I just need the pain to be gone" 😭 I get why she did it, and I also thought Elena was being a little bit condescending with her. She had the right to turn it all out. Everyone else did. I get why she thought it was unfair :/

BONNIE’S BACK Y’ALL ❤️❤️❤️

I do not understand why people on this show just won’t accept people turning off their humanity switch 🤷‍♀️ I mean, Stefan, Damon, Elena,... they all did it! And every single time, the others tried really hard to fix that. And I’m like : why? I’m not sure it’s the smartest move here 🧐 Because they usually end up making things worse 😑 Look at Elena : she just wanted to not feel the pain of her brother’s death for a while. She even tried to make a deal with Stefan and Damon : leave me alone, let me do my things and I’ll behave. But of course, they refused 🙄🤦‍♀️ Because they couldn’t accept the fact that their precious Elena would ever be bad and do bad thing 😒🙄 And then Elena became ruthless! Who would have thought? 🙄 Same for Caroline! The poor girl lost her mother. She just wanted to get waisted, sing some karaoke songs, and live her vampire life without any care in the world. She even erased Liam’s memories when she fed on him. Her first instinct was to buy new clothes to start over and come back to her dorm to keep leaving her old college life! She kinda had it under control 🤷‍♀️ And then, she suggested a deal, kind of like the one Elena tried to make with Stefan and Damon :☝️ one year without humanity, and she behaves and doesn’t kill anyone. That’s a good deal if you ask me 🤷‍♀️ Why not let her have that? Why not agree with that deal? Caroline without humanity is still Caroline (sort of) : she’s functional, and to quote Caroline herself : she is not an idiot. She doesn’t want to feel so she’s ready to do anything to not be bothered. I think she would have respected her end of the deal. If you take a good look at it, in both cases, it’s when other people tried to bring them back, when they broke the deal, that Elena/Caroline became killers.

Stefan shutting off his humanity was so dumb 🤦‍♀️🙄 Elena was going to find Sarah, he still had time! And even if she didn’t, and Liam killed Sarah, it’d be one ☝️ dead body. But by turning off his humanity, Stefan practically ensured that there���d be more dead bodies after that!

Damon’s mom... urf, yeah? sure. I guess I should care? 🤷‍♀️ Honestly, even when I first watched the show, I found that storyline super boring. She didn’t inspire me anything whatsoever. Anyway, using her as Stefan’s emotional trigger was sort of smart, but kinda reckless. I mean, they had no idea if it was gonna work or not, and still they still risked it, I-... urf 🤦‍♀️

I liked Stefan’s little revenge 😈😈 He’s like : no, no, no, Caroline, you don’t get to have an elaborate system that protects you from feeling guilt whenever you’ll decide to turn your humanity back on. I’m gonna make your life a living-hell. I’m gonna break you. You don’t get to ruin MY life and keep being the same control-freak, organised, college girl 💁‍♀️

Alaric&Jo thinking about baby names 🥰

The cure is BACK??? Hell no 😤 I mean, sure, it was interesting the first time, don’t get me wrong. But we’ve already watched that storyline. So 🤷‍♀️

Btw, I hate how suddenly, everybody’s like "omg poor Elena will NEVER get the life that she truly wants, she’s condamned to an eternity as a vampire, without ever having the possibility of settling down and starting a family" 😱 like i don’t know Elena’s been FINE about her vampirism for like 4 seasons. She seems happy, she seems to have found a way to make the best out of it. But sure, NOW that the cure is back, she feels like her life is unbearable - how convenient🙄

"For the first time, I’m putting ME first" HELL YES, BONNIE ✊🏿 I wish she could do that more often though.

Awwww Caroline getting her humanity back was really sad and emotional 💕💕The LETTER 😭 The fucking letter 😭 "I’m sorry Stefan, I ruined everything" 😭

Are we gonna address Matt, Tyler and Alaric’s alcoholism or are we simply gonna pretend they don’t have a drinking problem and their behaviour is totally socially-acceptable ?? 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

I know it was her choice and it was probably for the best, but I think Elena taking the cure was a big mistake 😕 The show was way more entertaining when she was a vampire, and they basically erased every possibility of a "happy" ending for my favorite characters 💔 Elena will loose everyone she ever cared about, including Stefan and Caroline. She will have to move out of Mystic Falls and isolate herself from all her former friends. Damon is taking the cure with her so he will have to say goodbye to his own brother, the only family he has left. All of that... for a human life ?? A meaningless job?? Bills to pay?? School?? Money issues?? A house to maintain?? Misery and despair?? Children?? In that messed up world?? With that economy??? And the environment crisis we’re living?? Nope, I don’t get it 🤷‍♀️ I just don’t.

Secretly, I had always dreamed of Elena, Stefan, Damon and Caroline all being vampires and spending eternity together. And double date forever, I guess 😅

NOOOOOOOOO 😭😭😭 R.I.P Jo 💔

LIV !!!! 💔 NO, NO, NO, NO! Whyyyy 😭

AND THAT BASTARD GETS TO LIVE!!! What did do you do Lily? Oh my freaking God, why would you turn Kai into an heretic? He was already such a pain in the ass and now he’s even more powerful! Thanks to you, he has killed his entire family and he gets to live!! 🤬🤬

I ABSOLUTELY HATE WHAT THEY DID WITH BONNIE AND ELENA!! That whole "I linked your life with Elena’s" 😡 Cause it’s like : OF COURSE, we want to pick the main character. Of course we want Elena to come back to life. Of course we would be ready to sacrifice Bonnie if it means that Elena gets to live in the present with her friends and family. BUT BONNIE DOESN’T DESERVE THAT! She deserves to be the one, as Caroline used to say, to be picked upon everybody else. She deserves to live as much as Elena, even more (after everything she has done, everything she has sacrificed for her friends). She deserves to be happy! But now, everyone resents her for being alive, because if she’s alive then that means she is taking "Elena’s place". Now she feels guilty for being alive and breathing. For. Fucking. Being. Alive. Think about that. Again, I’m sorry if I repeat myself but : WHY THE HELL DID THIS SHOW HATE BONNIE’S CHARACTER SO MUCH?? 🤬🤬🤬

I’m just gonna say it once : The show is just not the same without Elena 🤷‍♀️

Btw, I KNOW Kai specifically said not to try anything to undo the spell he casted - otherwise Elena and Bonnie would BOTH die... But I’m surprised they didn’t even try to search for a loophole 🤔 I mean, let’s be real, when has Damon ever listened to anyone trying to reason with him? When did any of them? 🤷‍♀️ Bonnie would NEVER stop looking for a magical loophole to save her best friend. Caroline would read an entire library of mystical books to find a clue. Stefan and Damon would travelled the whole world to meet with different witches, trying to find some kind of magic that could undo the spell. No one would ever listen to Kai and just do nothing! I mean, he could be bluffing for all they know 😵 He could be saying that in order to mess with them. Were they really gonna take his word for granted? 🤔 I’m not saying "try the first anti-spell you find and roll the dices", but at least try and look for something!

S7 :

Anyway, AT LEAST, we get to see some good sweet Bamon scenes ! I love how Damon seemed to genuinely care about Bonnie. He didn’t want her to die, even if it meant he would see Elena again 💕

"You’re my best friend" awwwwww ❤️

I... liked the Heretics!😳 They were a fun new, even if they reminded me of Pearl and her vampire friends (in the "we are trying to coexist with humans but some of us don’t want to" trope). And again, I kinda have a thing for supernatural dysfunctional family, so... 🤷‍♀️ Valerie was very relatable as a depressed immortal being, Beau was so loyal it was really sweet, Malcom was boring but he died pretty quickly so he wasn’t in the show for long, Mary Louise and Nora were... the absolute cutest couple ❤️

How many times can they evacuate Mystic Falls without people realizing something’s wrong? 🤔 How many stories about gaz leak can they come up with?? 🤦‍♀️ Where are all the humans going? They’re moving away because they’re all compelled, sure, but to go where? like how can that many people find new homes in new cities, especially considering this crappy housing market? It just seems pretty unlikely that these people would just start over so easily, find new jobs, new homes for their families🧐

Stefan & Valerie was basically Steferine all over again 🤷‍♀️ I don’t have anything against Valerie herself. I think she’s probably the nicest one amongst the heretics. I even liked her chemistry with Stefan but it’s the same storyline recycled all over again, so I don’t really care much. Plus, I liked the idea that Katherine was Stefan’s first love (💕). First of all, Katherine being Stefan’s first love makes their story... EPIC. We, as an audience, care deeply about Katherine (whether we like her or not). She’s a regular and important character. We want her to have a compelling story, one that fits the legend that was Katherine Pierce. Valerie, as nice and interesting as she can be, only appears in the two last season. Plus, if Stefan had already been in love with Valerie and had already had his heart broken BEFORE knowing Katherine, then he should have acted differently when he met her 💡 He should have been way more suspiciously towards her 🧐 he wouldn’t have so easily trusted another woman, coming at his door with a pity story... if he had already been betrayed and abandoned by THE FIRST WOMAN he ever loved, the one who took his "v-card", his first love.

Hello Oscar... Goodbye Oscar 👋

Are you kidding me ? Bonnie is in pain yet again, because of some mystical element AGAIN, and nobody cares AGAIN. People keep using her, lying to her, manipulating her to get what they want and I- 🤬 Btw HOW is she okay with this? How would Bonnie ever agree to help raise people from the dead? What about her values and morals? What about everything she believes in??

These "Three Years from Now" scenes were just TERRIBLE 🤦‍♀️ Epic failure. I simply don’t care about whatever happens in the "future”. I’ll make my own headcanons, thank you ✋

JULIAN... UGH 🤢🤮 Could you be even more despicable?? Beating up a pregnant woman to the point of loosing her baby?? Poor Valerie, she didn’t feel like she could tell her own mother about that cause’ she knew Lily wouldn’t believe her 😢

Awwwwwww Ric bringing ""Jo"" back from the dead 😭💖 I felt bad for that poor vampire who just woke up in somebody else’s body, after years being trapped in some hell... And It was really heartbreaking to watch him get his hopes up and then realise she wasn’t his wife :’(

OMG CAROLINE’S PREGNANT??? 🤰WITH RIC’S BABIES??? 😱 I... I don’t even know what to think of that. I don’t really know how to react... Good for the twins? I guess? Yay, they’re alive? But... I don’t know, seems kinda rapy to put someone else’s babies inside a woman’s body without her consent ?? 🧐

The fact that Valerie HAD to confess her very traumatic story, to multiple people, MULTIPLE TIMES... because it was convenient to the plot was disgusting! 🤮🤬 She was merely used as a reason to try to kill Julian... Valerie was beaten by Julian to the point she lost her baby! She never said anything because she was afraid no one would believe her/people would judge her/people would hurt her - which is completely understandable considering how traumatic this must have been for her! But then she comes back to MF and Stefan keeps asking her to justify herself like she owes him a goddamn explanation for not having returned earlier as she had promised... um? I get that Stefan had his heart broken back then, but aren’t you mature enough NOW to understand something wrong must have happened?? And that maybe she just doesn’t want to talk about it because it still hurts?? It’s HER life and she is entitled to live it however the hell she wants?? EVEN if she just changed her mind and decided not to come back for an entirely different reason, it’s her choice! Having sex with someone ONCE doesn’t mean you OWE them anything! 🤦‍♀️🤬 Promises were made, sure, but they were both very young and things can change! ANYWAY... And when they need allies to kill Julian, she is almost forced to tell her story again, just to make people feel pity and sympathy... She’s not a damn tool, for God’s sake, respect the poor girl! 😤

While rewatching the show, I kind of like that they addressed Lily’s romantic patterns and how she had a tendency to chose violent, controlling, abusing husbands (first Giuseppe, and then Julian...) 🧐 It was touching to hear her story, and to understand that she only stayed with Giuseppe back then to protect her sons, Damon & Stefan. She had a plan to run away, she wanted to escape because she knew she was in danger with him, she was well aware he wasn’t treating her right. But sometimes you can’t just go away. Sometimes things are more complicated. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ I liked that she realised her own pattern and that she tried to stand up for herself against Julian after that... even though it didn’t end well (which... seriously? 🤦‍♀️ She killed herself? Is that the message you wanna send to all the people stuck in abusive/violent relationship? 🤮)

Poor Lily 😭😭😭 R.I.P. 💔

Damon burning Elena’s coffin... 🔥🔥 Yeah. Sure. As if 🙄 Honestly, even on my first watch, I wasn’t believing it. The show without Elena is such a catastrophic mess! If she had died in her sleep, it would have been devastating. I don’t think the show would have survived that. I think it would have been cancelled before s8, or something like that.

Stefan was... surprisingly not reacting a lot to Caroline being PREGNANT🤰?? I mean... I don’t know... I was expecting some kind of big talk about it. Like "hey Caroline, how are you feeling about all this? What are your thoughts about having Ric’s babies? Do you even want to pursue the pregnancy (cause you DON’T have to carry someone else’s babies!)? What does this pregnancy mean to you? What will happen once the babies are born? Would you consider having shared custody with Ric? Or if you don’t want to be involved at all, would you like the twins not to know you were the one who carried them? Did you ever or would you ever want to be a mom? Would you want to have children of your own in the future? Do you ever think of that?” 🤷‍♀️ And those are just EXAMPLES. He didn’t have to ask all of these questions all at once! But you know, I wish they could have at least discussed some of these points together. Instead, he just let her "handle her things", because good old organised Caroline has every figured it out, of course! 🙄🙄 sure, she can take care of everything on her own 🤦‍♀️

I didn’t like the idea of putting Damon & Stefan in the Phoenix Stone... if it was all JUST to do THAT in the end. They tried to add some PTSD, pain and remorse but failed at making it compelling to the audience. Wooow, Stefan must let go of his toxic relationship with his brother in order to save himself... How obnoxious can you be, TVD? And oooohh, Damon must get rid off his toxic masculinity to face the fact that he loved and misses his mother... how original!! 🙄 I just feel like TVD was trying hard to be deeper than they were, and it didn’t work (for me)

FINALLY JULIAN IS DEAD 🙌🙏🎉

The Huntress was, like, a JOKE, okay? She’s supposed to have killed a thousands of vampires. Even heretics feared her. Stefan & Damon should already have been dead by now! What is she doing? How are we supposed to be afraid of her? She’s not doing anything, she is barely a threat 🤦‍♀️

Am I the only one who kinda saw great chemistry between Nora and Bonnie?💕

I LOVE how Klaus just IMMEDIATELY understood that Caroline was NEVER gonna let go of these kids 😍 I just love how he ultimately gets her, how he’s able to predict exactly what’s she’s going to do because he just knows her that well. Their phone talk was VERY cute ❤️ I love how he teased her with her own words : how she said she couldn’t possibly allow herself to be with him because she was "in college, building a life for herself” and he just wasn’t in the picture... and then turns out... she had kids! 😅 He sounded surprised but not completely shocked and I love how he was very understanding and sweet with her, she needed that 💕

Btw this season is just desperately LONG!

Awwww... Caroline... 😬 I understand why she wanted to stay in Dallas, and why she asked Stefan to consider moving here... but she should have been honest with him right away, the minute he picked up the phone. She should have told him she wanted to be involved in these kids’ life. I know that she was afraid Stefan wouldn’t want to “settle down" with her and take care of the twins... but she could have asked him. Directly. Clearly. Maybe he wouldn’t have minded living with her and raising the twins in some kind of shared custody 🤷‍♀️ Family comes in all shapes and sizes (💖), and as long as they told the truth to the twins, it wouldn’t have been a problem. And if Stefan didn’t want that at all, or wasn’t ready, or whatever, then they could have ended their relationship in a healthy way. By acknowledging they both wanted different things and that it just didn’t work out, as it often happens in life. But here, they’re just stuck in the middle... and it’s awkward 😳😐 Clearly, Caroline wants to live near the girls. She wants to be their mom, and clearly Stefan doesn’t seem THAT into it. But no one is saying anything and it’s just weird! 😤

I understand why Damon would make the choice of dessiccating in a coffin until Elena came back 🙂 He didn’t do it just for love. Not just because he missed her. Not because life was unbearable without her. That would have been really lame btw 😒 He did it because he didn’t want to directly or indirectly hurt people around him. And you know what, for once that was kind of the best, most reasonable - and most noble - decision to make. I was proud of him. The letter he gave Alaric was pretty sweet, but I’m glad Bonnie got to catch him before he left 💕

Bonnie saying "I’m not okay with that”😭 I was soooo glad that FOR ONCE she said what she was really thinking ! 👐Damon is her best friend, and I truly believe learning he left in a letter would have been devastating for her 😞 His choice means she will most likely NEVER see him again, ever, in her entire life 💔 I can totally understand her asking sincerly "are we friends?" cause if one my friends dared to do that, I would be pretty upset. I liked that she asked him to be honest. No joke. No deflecting mecanism. No sarcasm. No insults. Just the truth. ❤️

I REALLY REALLY don’t care about what happens "three years from now" 🤷‍♀️ Ugh I hate this season, things are so slow and boring, the storyline isn’t interesting at all, and frankly... i wanna die💀

NOOOOO MARY-LOUISE AND NORA DIDN’T DESERVE THAT 💔😭😭

Ugh 😑 The whole idea of the vampire souls trapped in the Phoenix’s stone being reunited with the wrong bodies was just lame and boring 😒

I genuinely felt bad for Valerie 😞 you can see she truly loved Stefan and it must have hurt to see he didn’t feel the same, despite having spent basically three years together :/ Again, that’s kind of my general problem with Stefan: he’s so afraid he’s gonna hurt people that he’s never fully honest with anyone! 🙄 Same shit with Caroline. He just abandoned her because he couldn’t deal with this situation. What Stefan fails to realise is that he does hurt people by keeping things from them, by always running away. I’m sorry but women around him deserve better 🤷‍♀️

Bonenzo... I remember shipping it back then, but now, I just don’t feel it 🤷‍♀️ i get why people do, sure they both care deeply about each other and you can clearly see that (the guitar scenes were very cute 💕)... but it’s mostly flashbacks and that doesn’t have the same effect on me. Because I wasn’t there to see them developing a special bond over time. I still think they’re cute and I’m happy to see Bonnie finally fall in love with someone who truly loves her back ❤️

OF COURSE BONNIE IS THREATENED BY SOME MAGICAL ELEMENT THAT IS SORT OF CONVENIENT FOR THE STORY. OF COURSE. 🤬😡 I’m so mad, I’m so fucking mad at the show for treating her this way. She’s always the one in danger. She can never be happy for more than two episodes!!

Ooooohhh nooooo Bonnie’s the new Huntress 😭😭😭 She’s gonna want to kill everyone: Damon, Stefan, Caroline, even Enzo!! Nooooo 💔

OH THANK GOD, SHE DIDN’T KILL ENZO 🙏🙏🙏 I was so afraid. For Enzo but most of all for Bonnie! She would have been devastated if she’d killed him!

“You changed my life” awwww I feel bad for Ric, the same way I felt really sad for Valerie... They both hoped the moments of pure happiness they shared with their partner would turn out to be something more. They both dreamed of starting new with their loved one, to have their own perfect little happy life... 💕 even though they knew deep down the other one didn’t love them back. Not the way they wanted to be loved. And that’s sad 😭

Damon & Enzo being manipulated and brainwashed by that thing in that vault, at the end of s7 🙄 seriously? Who would have seen that coming ? 🙋‍♀️

Ugh, s7 was PAINFUL to watch 😑

S8 :

Yiiiiikes 🤢🥴 whatever that thing is, it’s not friendly! That scene where Damon and Enzo feed it was kinda freaky!

Ric running the armory makes sense actually! I’m quite happy about that :) he’s been wanting real hard to get back to his Indiana-Jones type of life ✊ He would have never been happy with a perfect little family life... even with Jo, I believe 🤷‍♀️ He truly loved her but at the end of the day, he has just seen too much. He knows too much to just stop fighting at all. That’s what makes him Ric.

A SIREN !!!! Cool ! Now we’re talking 😎

I understand why Damon would submit completely to Sybil : he has always hated himself for all the terrible things he’d done, he has always thought he wasn’t worthy of redemption, and now Sybil provided him a proof of that, a vision of literal Hell, of eternal torture... 👺😈 plus she erased all memories of Elena 😭 he has no reason not to work for Sybil. She’s the only one who can provide a way out of Hell. Who wouldn’t take that deal? If I suddenly found out no matter what you do, you’re damned to an eternity of pain and misery and loneliness, and the only way to escape that is to work for Satan, aka Cade, I would probably do it too 🤷‍♀️

The way Enzo resisted Sybil’s mind control for Bonnie was really sweet 💕 I felt bad when he had to shut down his humanity to save her life 😭

Honestly, I know I should care about Tyler’s death but he was never my favorite character and he’s been so... in and out of the show that I kinda stopped caring about him at all (since he wasn’t exactly a regular character) 😕 But he surely didn’t deserve to be collateral damage in that mess :( Also, I thought Caroline would react a bit strongly. I mean, Tyler was important for her and she barely said something? Weird 🤷‍♀️

CAROLINE AND STEFAN ARE GONNA GET MARRIED !! 💍 She said YES! OMG! Tbh I might not ship them (because I think Stefan got away with the pain he caused her a little bit too fast) but I’m happy for Caroline: she finally got to have her June Wedding!! 💛🎉 (though I’d prefer she married Klaus of course!)

I really liked the whole mythology of the sirens 🧜‍♀️ the story about the village girl and the island girl becoming sisters, having to kill and eat people in order to survive, was heartbreaking! But I was so sure Sybil was the “nice” one 🥺 Poor girl

Noooooo, poor Georgie 😭💔 knowing she is going straight to Hell is horrible, considering she’s seen and experienced it before and she knows what awaits her :(

Sebine played her game very well, no one suspected her to be Sybil’s sister 🤔 she’s really creepy and I’m so so so afraid for the girls 😱 she clearly has an evil plan for them and I’m so anxious 😱

"I’m your brother and I love you. Please come home with me” awww Stefan ❤️

Awwwwww Enzo and Bonnie ❤️ “I’m never leaving you” okay now I remember why I shipped them! They’re adorable! She chose him over her own best friend. She picked Enzo because no one else did. Ever. And she thought he deserved a chance, because deep down he is such a sweet, loving, caring person. He might not look like it, but he’s maybe the one who cares the most and who’s actually ready to do anything for his loved ones. I think Enzo might be the big love of her life. And I’m so happy she got to have that. I’m so happy she got to meet him, to enjoy his company for a little while, to appreciate every happy moments ❤️

AAAAAH SELINE TOOK THE GIRLS!! 😱

Caroline finally doing the healthy thing and prioritising her daughters over everything else 💖💖💖 Take that ring back, Stefan. At least for now. Caroline took the right decision. She cannot make compromises when it comes to the girls. She cannot allow herself to add any more variables to this already messy situation. Yes, it’s selfish but she has to be.

WHAT? I seriously hope you’re kidding Ric! HOW DARE YOU telling Caroline she isn’t the girls’ mother? 🤬😡 She carried them, she agreed to pursue the pregnancy and give birth to kids who weren’t even “her own”, she raised them, she put food on their table, she tucked them in at night, she loved and cared for them more than anyone could have ever askef her, she basically had to let go of her entire life in order to live with them as a family... She IS their mother. She will ALWAYS be ❤️

Damon and Stefan’s deal with Cade to take the twins’ place !! 😱😱🔥 I really hope they find a way to get out of this one, but I don’t see how, right now... And Stefan is heading to a dark place :/ I hope Damon will be able to bring him back!✊

Speaking of Damon, I am SO glad he got to free himself from Sybil’s influence! 🙏 Stefan, on the other hand... meh? 😒 I’m not so sure I’m a fan of the old ripper storyline, I mean we already watched it once and we KNOW it’s not gonna last for long cause they have to wrap it up eventually, and I feel like this is just here as a cheap way to create drama between him and Caroline and idk that was kinda unnecessary 🤷‍♀️

ENZOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭💔 NONONONONONONONONOOOOOO!!!!! Poor Bonnie 😭 She was finally gonna get the happiness she deserved! RIP Enzo ☠️

OMGGG STEFAN’S HUMAN 🤯🤯🤯 Wow I wonder how he’s gonna take it, I mean on one hand being a vampire brought him a lot of pain, but on the other, it’s all he has known for centuries... rethinking your entire life, the basis of your existence, after all that time... ouch!

Kai is BACK ? Seriously ? Again ? I mean I like him, but let’s just say there are other people I would like to see again (#enzo❤️)

Btw I’m really conflicted about Bonnie trying to bring Enzo back : I want her to do it, of course, I want Enzo back, but I don’t want her to loose herself in the process 😱😭 I’m so scared for her :(

Stefan literally killing the Devil like 😎😎 “oh yeah bitch, bet you weren’t expecting that uh” ☝️ I am so so PROUD of my babyface :) also I’m really glad they got rid off Cade (ugh, I was so done with him)

Ahah, Kai’s in another prison world 🤣

OF 👏 COURSE 👏 KATHERINE 👏 IS 👏 THE 👏 QUEEN 👏 OF 👏 HELL 👏

Aaawwww I really really loved when Damon gave Elena’s necklace to Caroline 💕 their little chat was very cute: he knew she was quite sad because her wedding was being rushed and used as an excuse to drag out Katherine; she was going to walk down the aisle without her mother; Bonnie wasn’t gonna come; Elena wouldn’t be there; Alaric didn’t want to come... the MOST important day of her life was basically ruined 👰 and... idk he was being very sweet and compassionate with her :)

OOOOHH THEY’RE ACTUALLY GETTING MARRIED FOR REAL THOUGH! And Bonnie’s here!! Soooo cute 💖 I love how Damon insisted on the “does anybody want to object against this wedding?” part, like “really? No one?”

NOOOOOOOO THE GIRLS 😱😱🔥🤬

Omg they’re fine, I’m so relieved 🙏

Awww Bonnie saying goodbye to Enzo for real... that was so... bittersweet 😭 But he’s right: she’s gotta live her life. She cannot spend her entire life thinking about the people she could have spent more time with: Enzo, Elena, for instance. She has to focus on herself. On being happy. And I’m really glad for her ❤️

Katherine is literally gonna blow up the WHOLE TOWN !! Seems a bit extreme but I’m really not surprised xD such a Katherin-y thing to do, if you think about it

OMG FINAL EPISODE 😱😱😱

Okay, first I was like “I don’t understand why is everybody so obsessed with the idea of saving Mystic Falls”. 🤷‍♀️ Sure it’s their home, their childhood town, full of memories and all... but since Matt helped evacuate the entire town, there was no immediate danger for the population of MF. And at the end of the day, it’s JUST a town 🏙 It’s just buildings and roads and objects that can be replaced. It can be rebuilt over time. So Bonnie, Caroline, Damon, Stefan... they could have all just run far way from MF and then everything would have been just FINE 👍

But THEN Katherine captured Elena and trapped her in the high school 😈 NO WAY the Salvatore brothers would have just sacrificed Elena in hellfire 🔥🙅‍♀️

NOOOOOO I don’t want Damon to die 😭 But I also don’t want Stefan to die! Why do their plans always include one of them dying? Sounds like Supernatural 😅

THANK GOD 🙏 Bonnie’s here to save the day 💖 Damn, what would they ever do without her?? I liked how she fought for herself till the very end :) “it’s not my time” YOU BET YOUR ASS IT’S NOT 👏

OOOOMMMMGGG STEFAN’S DEAD 💀😱🔥 HE CAME BACK!!! HE CAME BACK FOR HIS BROTHER!! HE SAVED DAMON!! HE SACRIFICED HIMSELF!!! HE LEGIT DESTROYED HELL!! AND HE KILLED KATHERINE WITH IT!! 🤯

AND DAMON IS HUMAN!!! 🤯🤯🤯

AWWWWW LEXI IS THERE!! 🥰 I’m so happy to see her! I’ve missed her! Awww he found peace with his best friend 💕 I’m so glad for him! He deserves that!

“I was feeling epic�� 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Honestly, it felt kinda cheap and too easy that Bonnie would just suddenly realise she had enough power to do ANYTHING, including breaking the spell that she wasn’t supposed to interfere with in ANY way, because she would be risking Elena’s life (and probably her own). Like, ok, she destroyed hell and that boosted her confidence enough that she decided she would just try it ? 🤷‍♀️ mmm... seems too easy... like why didn’t she do that earlier then ? Why did this entire season even happen then ? What was the point? What was the point of Bonnie realising she was worth living her life and that she didn’t have to feel guilty about Elena? Why would the show erase that wonderful character growth??? I- 🤷‍♀️

“We’ll see him again” ❤️ awwww I really love how they decide to develop Damon and Caroline’s relationship in the end... They both really acted like brother / sister in law. And that was genuinely cute. They both lost someone they loved and cared about deeply. I like that they know they can count on each other.

Awwwww Stefan got Caroline’s message, that’s really cute :) I hope it will help her move on, knowing he heard her, and he will love her forever too 💕

BONNIE’S HAPPY!!! SHE’S ALONE BUT SHE IS FINE BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T NEED SOMEBODY ELSE TO BE HAPPY! SHE LOVES HERSELF AND SHE LOVES LIFE AND SHE’S GONNA ENJOY HER LIFE TO THE FULLEST AND TRAVEL THE WORLD!! YAY! 🌈🎊🎉

The Salvatore boarding school : so it’s basically Hogwarts? Okay why not 🤷‍♀️ It’s not the big ending I was expecting for Caroline and tbh I’m a bit disappointed (but I guess her story doesn’t stop there and it’s more of a To Be Continued kind of ending) but it makes perfect sense for Alaric 🤔 Jo seing her daughters 💖 And Jeremy is a teacher there LMAO 😆

Awwwwww my Klaroline feels ❤️❤️❤️ “however long it takes” I CANNOT BELIEVE THE SHOW GAVE US A “MAYBE” FOR THAT SHIP. Honestly it’s more than I ever wished I would get! I’ll make my own headcanons, it’s perfect!

“I owe it all to Stefan” awww, true :’)

So what I got from Elena’s monologue: she had a great life, she was happy, she became a doctor, she grew old in Mystic Falls, she married Damon (funny how she doesn’t mention having kids? It was one of her biggest dreams, so idk 🤷‍♀️), then I guess SHE died before Damon did (-> what makes me think that is the scene where she holds his hands and says something along the lines of “I know peace exists and I know he will find it someday even though he doubts it” and then he disappears and she finds herself in the after life), and then she found peace and got reunited with her family in death 🧐 So bittersweet, I liked it! 💕 Even if I think it would have deserved to be a bit longer, a bit more explained, a bit more developed than just a “here’s what happened” 🤷‍♀️ It did feel rushed :/

“Hello brother” WAS THE LAST LINE OF THE SHOW! HOW. EPIC. IS. THAT.

[thatlittledandere]

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 8, 15, 16, 17, 20, 21, 22, 23, 25, 26, 27, 31 and 40 for that shipper ask meme (sorry for picking so many but those questions are GOOD)

You're right, they absolutely are. I'm sorry in advance that this is gonna be LONG and I'm on mobile so I can't even add a read more;;

1. Talk about the first ship you ever had

So I'm SURE there were relationships I was invested in in movies and cartoons I watched as a child (I've always been a sucker for romance, even though there was that period when I didn't want to admit it) but I can't remember anything from very far back;; So it was either Ron and Hermione from Harry Potter or Ichigo and Masaya from Tokyo Mew Mew, whichever I read first.

2. Talk about three of the most important ships throughout your life

GOSH. You can't do this to me. I guess Romione because it was the time in my preteens when I was becoming more aware of... stuff, in general, abs the two cemented my love for friends-to-lovers. Then Ioryuu, because I've never been AS invested in and passionate about a ship before and likely never will. Nothing can compare to that intensity and ngl I miss it;; I miss the genuine hype I felt in my heart that made me interact with people and make things. So many things. I honestly can't think of a third one with such a lasting impact, sorry;;

3. What's your current OTP?

I imagine Souyo scenarios in my head every night before falling sleep and every morning after waking up, this is not a joke not an exaggeration. I still feel a little traitorous saying this on tumblr but their dynamic IS somewhat similar to the way I see Ioryuu so-

4. What's your current NoTP?

I don't think I have one? I have dislikes, some of them strong, but I don't see any of them often enough to be, like, actively angry. I have better uses for my time than willingly exposing myself to stuff I don't like.

5. Do you have any poly ships?

Not generally, juggling two characters is enough work lol. The only poly ships I've ever really actively shipped are Niels, Duncan and Natalie from the web comic Niels And the Gang by humon and Kinatsuen from Boueibu, but neither are actively on my mind much these days.

8. Have you ever shipped yourself with a character?

BOY HAVE I EVER. I've seen someone on tumblr have a side blog for self-shopping and not gonna lie, it's an excellent idea. My late teens were spent reading character x reader fics on Quotev and I started my fic career with the same genre. I don't really know what to do with myself when I DON'T actively ship myself with a character, which is my state of being now that Yosuke surpassed Yoosung as my favorite character;; Ibushi and Yoosung are the biggest ones but man oh boy I have shipped myself with characters from early age and I'm showing no signs of stopping! There's a reason that I main dating sims.

15. Have you ever "shipped at first sight"?

Not for long. I SUCK at forming first impressions. Usually if I start thinking I'll ship something, I end up not being so invested in it after all, and instead shipping something I swore off at first lmao. Which leads us to...

16. Talk about a ship you initially disliked

As a rule of thumb, all of them. I don't understand HOW it keeps happening but somehow almost all the ships I truly care/d about (that I didn't start shipping through osmosis before knowing them in the source material) started out as something I thought I "wouldn't be able to get behind." Gajevy. Shikatema. Sasunaru. Doctor/Rose. Karabita. Atsutodo. Kiribaku. Yoozen. Enatsu. Freaking IORYUU. EVEN SOUYO. IT'S BEEN YEARS I REALLY SHOULD KNOW THE PATTERN BY NOW

17. Talk about a pairing you've stopped shipping romantically

Like, I started to think they're better as friends after all? I guess NaLi. Then again, I mostly only shipped them out of spite in the first place because I wanted a counter for N/a//Lu, which I never liked at all;;

20. Talk about a ship you feel alone in shipping

Now this time I can say for sure that there isn't one. I can't come up with ships myself and stay on board if there isn't content for it, canon or otherwise;; It's not a conscious decision or anything, it's just how my mind works. I get attached to stuff by exposure, whether from fans or the source material, and if the source material has enough content for two characters for me to pick up on and become interested, it's guaranteed to be enough to become a somewhat popular ship.

21. Is there a ship you just don't get, but have nothing against?

Actually... That's the extent I go to with notp'ing these days. I'm passionate about the right to ship whatever you want so by proxy I can't have anything "against" a ship, even if the sheer thought of it existing makes me nauseous. And I know how to think from points of view other than my own, so I can usually see the appeal, even if it appeals to me personally less than eating dog shit while walking barefoot on rusty nails that are also on fire.

That said, the only ships I have on my Tumblr blacklist are Yoo//ra/n and Suza//lu/lu because they're both popular ships for characters whose tags I am/was following and therefore get suggested a lot even if I want following anyone who ships then. Oh, and all B/LMa//tsu ships! I generally can't feel good about incestuous ships, but can and will fight for their shippers' right to do as they please as long as they stay respectful. (never saw blmatsus who weren't respectful. saw a plethora of anti-blmatsus who were absolute demons. actually the reason i moved away from the last remnants of my anti mindset was that i didn't want to be associated with THOSE anti-blmatsus, when the shippers they wanted dead were all such sweet people. food for thought.)

22. Which of your ships have the best chemistry?

All of them?? Lmao I don't understand this question, isn't shipping all about liking the chemistry between characters? Or the potential for it I guess, in which case the chemistry is whatever you want it to be, which is great B) I'm sorry I keep accidentally dodging questions I'm bad at choosing examples from a long, unordered list

23. Which of your ships deserve better writing?

Hhhhhhh I shipped Jerza for years and was still unsatisfied with their ending, Jellal didn't get to heal enough and we didn't really see them working through their past in an effective way and getting comfortable around each other. It's like they were supposed to be friends to enemies to lovers but the last part didnt really develop and their relationship stagnated at the stage were they were both just permanently awkward out of regret, and couldn't bring themselves out of it even though everything was forgiven forever ago. Or I've forgotten a lot of stuff that happened. Very likely. Is your a case of bad writing or good writing not working out the way I wanted it to? You're asking the wrong person.

25. Have you ever shipped a pairing before you even started watching the show/movie simply because of gifs/graphics or similar?

EYUP. Harumichi was my otp for like a whole year before I saw a single episode with them lol. It was crazy, but it was REAL. I've also went into shows already paying attention to things I knew my friends/people I follow shipped, kind of hoping I'd get into it.

26. Have you noticed a pattern in your shipping? Is there a romantic dynamic I'm writing these questions down from screenshots and I cropped the rest of this one out by accident rip

Eeeh I go for the obvious. Best friend pairs, obvious pining, some rivalry with sexual tension, though I don't really know what to do with those. Then there's the fact that I never see it coming sick Persona 5 reference bro and start shipping the couple I thought "should just be friends" at first. This is more about my relationship to the ships than their dynamic but it's very constant...

27. Is there a ship you've shipped for most of your life?

Hmmm well I got into HP and started shipping Romione sometime in mid elementary school so it's definitely been more than half my lifetime since, but I don't really know if I "ship it" anymore. I didn't start disliking them or anything but for me, "shipping" is an active intrest in a fictional relationship, so if it reaches the stage where I like it, in theory, but I don't have the feels, it doesn't really count. That's why I can say I like ships without shipping them. It's gotta be actively on my brain, man.

31. Talk about one of your favorite headcanons for a ship you love

I haven't mentioned Kannao once, which is criminal. So here's some of what I imagine their future to be like :D I've been getting new Persona followers recently so here's something for you to unfollow me over lmao

So first of all I ignore the canon that Naoto goes back to the city for her detective work after her first year of high school, shhh she stays in Inaba, only taking the occasional jobs. She and Kanji start dating during the spring break before their second year and get more comfortable with each other, so that the next summer they're still cute and very much themselves (which means somewhat reserved) but not as awkward anymore :) I haven't thought about what happens after they graduate but they get married in their early 20s and have a son <3 (Chie and Yukiko adopted their daughter only slightly earlier. They may or may not have had a bit of a competition going on) ((yes Souyo are very much together but if they end up having children I haven't thought about it it's later))

Kanji manages the textile shop and Naoto helps when she's free from detective stuff. They live in Inaba but Naoto is away quite often for her gigs;; She takes up a few jobs less when Kouta is little though so he wouldn't feel less close to his Mom than his Dad.

Both Kanji and Naoto suffered from unfair expectations growing up, so they try their best to make up for it with Kouta's upbringing. They want him to feel comfortable being himself and free to express himself the way he wants; they make sure he knows he'll always be loved and supported, and to never be ashamed of who he is. As a child it doesn't even occur to him that many social norms and social expectations exist, because Naoto and Kanji pretty much let him do whatever as long as he isn't hurting himself or anyone else. They might go a little overboard though, giving into Kouta's whims without much consideration at all. The Amagi Aunties enforce rules and keep kids grounded in reality much better lmao

40. If you could change one thing about your otp, what would that be?

HMNGHNMHGNMGH I WAMT YOSUKE'S INTERNALIZED BULLSHIT ACKNOWLEDGED!! It's there AtlUS!! Stop pretending oh my god.... I love the Dancing All Night story mode (so far. I am by no means done); Yosuke gets cool moments and Yu's internal monologue really shows how much he appreciates him. The dynamic is so much better than with a silent protagonist, and thank god they didn't go with the tactless anime Yu (as fun as he is). I know there are a bunch of nods to the cut romance across spinoffs but mannnn... I wish they were more serious about it. At this point it's not even that far-fetched to think Yosuke has feelings for Yu that he may or may not be aware of, and I know that Yu as the player character can't be too tied down to one option in canon, but still... Even the clown gets tired of jokes at some point. One can dream.

40 ship questions

[writtenbyhappynerds]

Unit 6: Making it Real

    When we say realism, we mean capturing both the voice of the canon characters while providing an OC who realistically fits into the narrative. This can be one of the hardest things to grasp as a writer, and a fanfiction writer on top of that because the cards are inherently against you. While your OC is your own character and can have whatever voice you want it to, the canon characters (cast) are voices you have to mimic. They are not and will never be your own voice, just an imitation of someone else’s voice. Some of the best fanfictions capture the voice of the cast extremely well which is why their fanfictions work. Because we as readers see how they have interpreted the cast and find it believable. There are many tips and tricks we as writers can use to mimic the voices of characters. To start, we are going to discuss some of the easiest mistakes and how to correct them.

    Just because a piece is a fanfiction doesn’t mean you can come up with ridiculous plot lines and reduce the cast to one-note personalities. It is very easy to rely on the most blatant part of a character’s personality to carry over their impression, but it isn’t enough to make realistic fanfic. In Harry Potter fanfiction, for example, Hermione Granger is often reduced to a clenched butthole who never stops screaming about homework. Hermione the canon character is a muggle-born witch who sees magic as an opportunity and wants to be the best she can possibly be, as well as a character who staunchly opposes injustice. She will not ignore injustice for the sake of academics, which is how organizations such as SPEW and Dumbledore’s Army were created. As a writer, it helps to flip back through Harry Potter and make notes for yourself on the themes of each character’s personality and flaws. For Hermione, instead of focusing on the academic, the writer needs to remember the bravery and the pursuit of injustice. They also need to remember how stubborn she is and how much she hates to lose or be proven wrong (See Harry beating Hermione in potions in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince). If you’re including characters like Hermione in your fanfiction, it requires some research, and having a cheat sheet will be helpful in developing a more realistic voice.

    Some issues in realism also come from the writer having way more voices than what they know what to do with. This means that maybe you had one OC, but that OC interacts with a large group like One Direction or The Avengers. There’s an easy solution: Your OC does not need to interact and be best friends with every single character. That itself is unrealistic. Take your own friend group for example. There are some members of that group you text every day, there are some you only see at events, some you only see on weekends, and some who are around all the time. It is perfectly ok if you as a writer are uncomfortable, to have some characters back up and take on a lesser role at the start of a fic. As you grow more confident with larger groups, you’ll still have the option to reintroduce them, or you can even have a specific arc in the story with your OC and those background characters. What the Editor and I see all too often is groups being forced to stick together as a group. What happens then is that the watered-down personalities infect all the characters as a whole and decrease the value of the fic overall. Take One Direction for example. In these fics, because it’s so important for the group to stick together as a group, Louis’s personality is reduced to screaming about carrots. Liam screams about spoons. Zayn does it with mirrors, and Harry, his hair. Not only are these boys reduced to the bare bones of personality, but all the writer has also done is taken the most ridiculous parts of their personalities and made it represent their entire beings. It’s not realistic. What you can do as a writer is send them off to other places or keep them in the background. You have no clue how to write for Zayn? He’s gonna be on his iPad for this scene watching a movie. You don’t know what Louis would do during this part? He’s gone to the store or gone for a walk. The characters don’t have to be together all the time. The same is true for Avengers fanfiction, and I’d argue that it’s easier to do this for Avengers because you can be more creative with the excuses. Clint’s at the farm. Natasha and Steve are on a mission. Tony got dragged to some event with Pepper. Bruce is in his room- he asked to not be disturbed. There is no rule that says a group has to stay together at all times, and if you’re uncomfortable you can find ways for those characters to leave, or put them somewhere in the background where they won’t interrupt the scene.

    Let’s talk briefly about love interests. The notes for the romance chapter are already horribly long, as the Editor and I have been discussing all the common mistakes and errors we see in romance fictions, but we’re saving that for after Exam 2 since I already have to apply a curve to Exam 1 for everyone who didn’t study. I digress. Love-interests can get just as bogged down as regular members of the cast. We’ve previously discussed how characters wouldn’t drop their entire personality the minute their love interest appears. That still stands because it isn’t realistic. Another thing that isn’t realistic, is amplifying a rival’s personality to make your pairing better by comparison. I see you people, and making a character or member of the cast more obnoxious or annoying so your pairing looks better is unrealistic and needs to come to an end. For example, say you’re writing a The Vampire Diaries fanfiction and your OC is madly in love with Damon. Fine, whatever, I don’t care. What I do care about is you the writer making Elena more obnoxious or more of a bitch to force your Damon/OC pairing. That’s not kosher. In the real world, relationships can fall apart and come together for reasons other than this person is suddenly super annoying and controlling and I don’t know why but oh look this new girl I’ve never seen is totally nice and super chill. Relationships are a partnership, and as a shortlist, they can fall apart because of: differing levels of commitment, they’re no longer on the same page, they’re afraid of being alone (yes relationships can fall apart because of this), someone compares their relationship to everyone else’s, someone tries to rely on their body language as a form of communication and as such, they don’t communicate, someone sees their partner as inferior, and so on and so forth. Another helpful way to naturally push a breakup is that in many couples who have been together for a long time, what originally were quirks and cute becoming obnoxious flaws that are too much effort to deal with. An example of this can be found in Neil Hilborn’s spoken-word poem OCD, where he describes how his ex fell out of love with him because his tics that were at first fun and cute became annoying and too much to handle. It’s sad, but it is more realistic for two people or two characters to break up over these reasons than one character waking up and turning into a complete nuisance. We will cover more of this in the Romance Unit.

    We sometimes find an error in the Meet Cutes or the way in which the OCs first meet and interact with the cast. These can range from they came to the coffee shop I worked at to they saved me from xyz villains. However, if this story is taking place in the real world we’d appreciate a spoonful of realism. If a character is planning a trip abroad, they would not get to the airport 10 minutes before the flight leaves. That is a fun way to suddenly not have a trip abroad. It doesn’t build tension for the audience when things like this occur, it just sets up unrealistic circumstances and makes the entire scene less believable. The same is true for say, One Direction fanfics where the fan somehow miraculously sneaks backstage and meets the band. That wouldn’t happen in real life. I understand it’s hard to figure out how two characters can get into the same room, but you have other options. Going back to One Direction, a teenage girl becoming the personal assistant for five teenage boys is very unrealistic. I’m sorry, but you shouldn’t write those kinds of fanfiction. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t write One Direction fanfiction though! You just need something more realistic. You could have:

The daughter of an executive producer or choreographer or stylist for the boys who have to bring their parents something they’ve forgotten.

The store manager at a shopping mall who lets the boys sneak out the back of the store when they’re running from paparazzi.

They could be a musician who is trying to get signed to the same label as the band.

    So long as your fanfiction is realistic fiction, I want you to lean heavily on realism. This does not apply just to One Direction fanfic. Every universe has a set of stakes and standards. We covered this in Chapter One. What we need to do now in realism is to apply those standards and make sure that when two characters meet, it feels natural. It feels like something that could happen and not something that was forced to happen.

    Speaking of forced to happen, let’s delve into character flaws. We talked about in Unit 5 how some writers appear uncomfortable with seeing their characters struggle. What some authors fail to realize is a tougher uphill climb makes the view so much more worth it. Seeing your characters struggle is a fact of life: not everything comes naturally to you, so why would it to your characters? When I was first trying to force myself to give my character flaws I would scour lists online for “common character flaws.” There is an easier solution. Your character’s flaws can mirror the positive attributes of a character. For example, If your character is very loyal, they may be headstrong and unwilling to hear or believe criticism of the person or thing they are loyal towards. You can think of that in terms of a devoutly religious person who won’t hear criticism of their beliefs, or of a loyal friend who won’t believe the person they know did something wrong. A character who is very giving may not take time for themselves or would let themselves go without before seeing their friends suffer. A character who is romantic and loves to try and woo their significant other may be jealous when they can’t spend time with that person or may be needy, and struggle with being alone. As an easy trick, try and view your character’s positive attributes through a negative lens and see what flaws you can pull out, so like me, you can stop scrolling the lists online just to say your character bites their nails or smokes.

    The best example of flaws and consequences of those flaws is Percy Jackson. Riordan makes a point for the heroes to have “fatal flaws” with Annabeth’s being pride and Percy’s being loyalty. You see consequences for these flaws throughout the book, and you see bad things happen to the characters because of their pride or loyalty. Annabeth wouldn’t have gone after the spider alone if it weren’t for her pride. She wouldn’t have tried to hear and survive the siren’s song. She makes mistakes and falls down and even lands in Tartarus because of her pride, which makes her a more realistic character. The same is true for Percy, whose loyalty to his friends and those he loves forces him to act recklessly and to even defy the gods in the name of those he cares about. You can see it in Nic DiAngelo as well because his grudge against the demigods is what kept him out of the books for so long. Until such a time where Bianca could tell him to get over it and forgive. Flaws are important to have and vital to character development, but we should also see consequences for these flaws otherwise we won’t know they’re there. Remember, we as readers can only infer from what you give us, and we’re not doing character bios anymore. So if you want your character to have flaws, the only way we can see that is by consequence of their actions. It’s okay for your characters to fail from time to time. It makes the victories better by comparison.

    In the same vein of character flaws, let’s finally talk about Mary Sues. A Mary Sue is a character who can accomplish any task no matter how difficult with little effort and is adored by all. Depending on the story, we can see this play out in different ways. Often, we see authors try to disguise the character’s Mary Sue-ness by giving her some random flaw to prove she’s not perfect; however, that flaw doesn’t seem to impact her life in any way at all.  For example, in Avengers fanfics, our Mary Sue has some vaguely defined powers that allow her to do absolutely everything imaginable but may have a flaw that was added as an afterthought like being bad at math. This flaw may later be ignored as in another chapter she could/would solve a physics problem that stumped Tony Stark. Her flaw had no impact on her ability to be better than everyone around her, and this makes her a Mary Sue. As a side note, when you give your characters superpowers, the character should have a consequence or rule for using those powers. The book Magic or Madness starred a family of witches, who had to use their powers because they would go insane without them. However, using those powers cost them years off their lifespans. In Mary Sues, we see characters who make themselves the plot, instead of joining or coming along for a storyline that they participate in. We see this happen a lot in Victorious with Tori Vega. Anytime something, all of the characters turn to her to magically swoop in and save the day. For example, in the Great Ping Pong Scam episode (season 1, episode 11), Robbie ordered way too much caviar and now they’re unable to pay their bill. Don’t worry though, Tori has this shit handled. We see her borrow Jade’s dress and sing her way out of that situation. There was absolutely no reason for that to happen; we know Jade is a talented singer, she could have easily done that herself. Make it mean something, and make there be consequences for these characters.

    Another common trait of Mary Sues is a tragic backstory. The character might have lost their family, may have been abused, may have been homeless, had depression, been suicidal, or even all of the above. It’s not a bad thing to have a character with a tragic backstory. What makes that character a Mary Sue is when that backstory does not impact who they are as a person. The backstory is there for the audience to sympathize with the character, not as an internal conflict of the character herself, and more often than not the tragic backstory manifests itself in being closed off and, “refusing to trust people,” while still having a large group of friends like the Avengers or the cast of Harry Potter or the Heroes of Olympus. There are consequences for actions. Things people do and say can have lasting effects and carry on with someone for the rest of their lives. It can manifest in rational fears, and irrational fears and a character may have both healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms. If you write in a terrible instance that has occurred for your character, you need there to be consequences for the actions of both that character and those who hurt them. A good example is in Bill Willingham’s Fables: Legends in Exile in the characters Snow White and her sister Rose Red. The short and long of it is that Snow White was rescued by the prince, and abandoned her sister. Rose Red was eventually sent for, but only after a great deal of time had passed. This made her feel unwanted, and as revenge on her sister, she slept with Prince Charming and destroyed their marriage. Beyond that, years later, Rose Red still struggles with inadequacy compared to Snow White and still resents her for abandoning her. She can’t keep a stable relationship and feels she isn’t good enough for any of her potential love interests. Rose Red is a great example of a character still feeling the aftershocks of a traumatic event. She was abandoned, and she grew bitter, and she got the revenge she wanted but it still wasn’t satisfying and did more harm than good to her in the long run. To avoid Mary Sues, you need to make your characters have flaws, make them have secrets (beyond their superpowers that inevitably get revealed later in the story), make them have selfish moments, make them afraid, and make sure that if they experienced tragedy and heartbreak that it is something they’ve never forgotten.

    The next few notes are not specific to one genre or fandom but are aspects of realism that need to be addressed. First and foremost, it is biologically impossible for boy-girl twins to be identical. This is because when two haploid cells make a diploid zygote, which is how babies are made. Identical twins are always the same sex because they come from the same egg, and all the DNA is copied twice, making them completely identical. Because they are completely identical, they are the same sex. Fraternal twins, which are also more common than identical twins by a longshot, are made when two individual eggs are fertilized at the exact same time. They then grow together in the uterus and make babies who don’t look exactly alike. All boy-girl twins are fraternal because it is biologically impossible for them to be identical since they can’t have a difference in chromosomes while still coming from the same egg. The biology major in me is really coming through in this paragraph, and I apologize for that, but what we’re trying to say is that you can’t have a set of twins that are boy-girl twins and describe them as looking exactly alike. That is unrealistic. Fraternal twins are way more common, and more realistic than identical twins. Give them a shot.

    Song lyrics written out in their entirety are a very quick way to ruin the immersion and take your reader out of the story. Having a character sing to another character, very often it is in an unrealistic set of circumstances, and it comes across as cringy and extra instead of emotional. This is more abstract in terms of what is okay and what isn’t and it does go on a case-by-case basis. The good rule of thumb is if you the author have seen this happen in real life or it is something that can actually happen in real life, go ahead. But don’t put the lyrics of the song. Instead, while the character is singing describe how the character they are singing to is reacting. Romanticize the shit out of their surroundings, and make something that’s charming and sweet, instead of cringy. If you need help, our examples of good scenes that involve singing are:

Two people in love singing badly while they dance drunk around the kitchen.

A little boy or girl sharing their favorite song with a stranger to show the innocence of children.

Sports fans singing during a match or a game

The dying rebellion singing their battle cry only after loads have died as a means to try and reignite their hope.

The happy and alive rebellion singing at the top of their lungs because they’re young rebels with a cause and no one has died yet.

The old homeless man getting a guitar for the first time in 2 years and singing a cover of Creep that breaks your heart a la the Youtube video that will be linked below.

Nightmare musical numbers

Songs sung by two voices in two different time periods a la Bojack Horseman’s I Will Always Think of You

Sad reprises

    If it can happen in real life, go for it. But don’t tell me what the lyrics are. If you’re worried the readers won’t get it, put a link to the song at the very end of the chapter. Or, if music is a big part of your character, make a soundtrack and put it at the end of the story. A memoir I read recently, Rustbelt Femme, the author Raechel put her mixtape at the end of her book because the music was such a big part of how she came into her own identity and discovered her sexuality. This was something she wanted to share with her audience so in the book itself she would mention the bands or songs in passing, and at the end of the book, she put them in a list for people to listen to on their own. I can understand wanting readers to grasp the importance of the scene, but let them explore that in their own time. Don’t force it down their throats by putting song lyrics in the middle of a story.

    Next week we’re talking about crossovers. I am very excited, as I love a good crossover fanfiction. We’ll discuss how to make crossovers work, how some don’t work and why, and tie it back to both characterization and the Rules for the Universe. Xoxo, gossip girl.

Additional Reading (Listening): 

Neil Hilborn’s OCD 

Homeless Man Singing Creep by Radiohead. 

[tellywoodtrash]

sanjivani 10.10.19 lb

"no! never!" siddhu pls. jhoot aata nahi toh bolte kyun ho?

ishani literally shoved a needle into her finger to get out of this hellish situation. #relatable.

SIR PLS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!!?!?!? THAT TOO WITH THAT PARTICULAR EXPRESSION?!?! KYA KEEMAT REH GAYI HAI TUMHARI "NOOOOOO!!!! NEVERRRR!!!!" KI AB???????

ALSO MY GOD FUCK THAT TITLES CARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DESERVE TO HAVE AN UNOBSTRUCTED VIEW OF THIS SCENE FFS! ALSO TO GIF!!!!!!1

ouff kya haiiiiiiii yeh banda???? sexy sucking on her finger one minute, pretending to RAWR like a 5 year old and breaking into giggles the next. kyaaaa karooooon main iska???????

(also holy shit that one deep sigh he did in the middle. fuck. fuckkkkkkkkk.)

ugh they're too stinking cute.

i would kill for all of anjali's saris. (and just her general demeanor.) i too wanna be a classy, badass, sari wearing type who strikes the fear of god into the hearts of grownass men.

*looks down at the cat nightshirt i'm still wearing even though i woke up 6 hours ago and sighs*

i love this side of shashank that only comes out with anjali. it's fucking adorable. i need more of it.

OH GOD NOW WHAT MORE SACH THAT JUHI NEEDS TO KNOW?!?!??!? OUFF YAAR WHY WON'T YOU LET ME LIVE IN PEACE WRT AT LEAST ONE DYNAMIC IN THIS SHOW?????

oh ho anjali. what can juhi do if he can't regulate his bp?????? like..... ajeeb hi accusations hain tumhari.

how many more signs from the universe will you two idiots keep ignoring?????

the universe, literally:

"good morning!"

"good morning."

"kaahe ki good morning?!?! raat ka tera nasha utraa nahi aur aa gaye tere dr. sid, subah subah tujhe behkaane!"

LMAO I REALLY REALLY LOVE ALTER!EGO ISHANI.

"haaye ishani, tu kaam kaise karegi? jeeyegi? ya pal pal tadap ke maregi????"

lmaooooo phir shut up chilaaa diya.

"excuse me???? subah subah chai ki jagaah kuch lagaake aayi ho kya???" lololololol a most pertinent question.

juhi has had enough of this slander. rightfully so.

sayantani's sass face is excellent and i love her.

juhi making desperate plea to be friends.

REJECTED. oh anjali, i don't see you being no. 2 in your dad's life, at all. he's so different around you. you're comparing wholly different relationships.

oh. anjali doesn't care that shashank loves someone. ("mere dad pyaar deserve karte hain.") it's just that it's juhi, who's just a few years older than her. valid, i suppose. iss chakkar mein the daughter in legally blonde ne toh khoon hi kar diya tha, toh i guess anjali's relatively restrained.

ofc kal ke liye scheduled operation has complications and has to be done today.

i don't get what specialty these two are? i thought they were general surgery residents, but now they're gonna operate on a cardio patient with blockages in his heart??? matlab........ ok i guess?

will we finaaaaaaaaallllly see rahul today???

nope. koi dr. basu hai.

OH GOD, THEY KILLED THAT PREGNANT GIRL. AND ARE LETTING HER BODY DECOMPOSE?!!? WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! WHAT. THE. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.

JESUS VARDHAN, WHAT THE FUCK KINDA VAADEIN HAVE YOU DONE AND TO WHOM?!!?!?!? THE FUCKING DEVIL HIMSELF?????

I NEED SHASHANK AND SID TO FIND OUT ABOUT THIS AND KICK THE LIVING SHIT OUTTA YOU IN THE SANJIVANI LOBBY. ANJALI AND ISHANI SHOULD GET TURNS TOO, AND GET TO KICK YOU RIGHT IN THE FUCKING HEAD.

oh boy, it's gonna be sweet puchku neil who's gonna get all up in this. PLEASE GOD HE'S TOO NICE AND SWEET AND MELLOW, HE WON'T BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT.

vardhan's relentless faux!chivalry when dealing with women freaks me out. it's so obvious that it's fake as fuck, but he just cannot stop compulsively performing it whenever around a woman. it's very very very creepy and menacing.

literally fuck you vardhan. don't be gaslighting my neil like this.

doesn't look like sid and ishani are gonna make it out in time for jessi's mehendi/sangeet.

ugh, this asshole.

god that was one longasssssss surgery.

oh boy. is jessi ok?!?!

oh. shit.

sigh. the chemo is making her hair fall.

oh man, this is the sweetest fucking story. and i'm really really invested, coz vedika is selling it so wellll. the alternating fond reminiscing and teary frustration. such a compelling actress!

LMAO RISHABH, LEARN TO READ THE ROOM MAN. WHY ARE YOU SUCH A LOSER?!?!

neil and rahil are both suchhhhhhh snarkLords, but at the opposite ends of the spectrum. while neil delivers his sass all sweetly, barely letting the person know they're being dissed; rahil gives less than zero fucks and just savagely destroys the person, and walks away humming to himself.

seriously, will i ever get over how soft this boy is? forget a male lead in fiction, how often do we even get to see men in real life even, get this affected by a side effect of being sick like this, especially when it's something "vain" like hair? men don't really understand what hair is to most women, and how much identity is attached to it, and even the slightest alterations to how it looks can affect mood/sense of self worth. and this dude here is crying with jessi about the loss of her hair (actually the loss of her life as she knows it), coz he empathizes with her to that extent.

with every passing episode, i love and appreciate siddhant mathur more and more. :’))))))

ugh fuck this douche. why the f is he wearing sunglasses indoors at like 9 in the fucking night????

"dr. shashank, aap hindustan ke sabse behtareen neurosurgeon hain, dimaag ke doctor. pata kar lijiye, ke vardhan ke dimaag mein chal kya raha hai."

"that i will, pakka, i promise you! aur jis din mujhe koi ganda sa tumour nazar aa gaya na, usse wahin ke wahin operate karke nikaal denge."

GODDAMN. KAHIN DR. SHASHANK RAHIL KE BHI PAPA TOH NAHI, COZ FUCK, THE LEVEL OF SAVAGERY.

GOD I HATE VARDHAN SO MUCH, I TOH SAY IDHAR HI SCALPEL SE CHEER-PHAAD DAALO SAALE KO. HARAAAMI INSAAN.

chandni's asha accent keeps slipping in and out. :///

god juhi looks so good.

gurdeep has really glowed up with age, she looks even better now than she does in the flashbacks to S1.

damn, ishani's social skills have really grown exponentially. she's being even more effective than sid at consoling jessi, which..... honestly, my heart is so full rn.

also god, i'm so so so glad surbhi's finally back in form. finally this show is using her potential, with the comedy and these kinda heartfelt emotional scenes.

ok time for self-love hype talk. kinda ehh, but i like the spirit.

sid needs to be a motivational speaker. matlab.... wow.

ah fuck, i held out for this long, but lost it at this shot of ishani and sid crying together. fuck i love them both so much.

———————————————————————

Y'ALL ARE RUINING MY GODDAMN LIFE, YOU STUPID FUCKS.

(though i did catch a glimpse of a BTS of this scene and know what's coming up and pfffffffft, bedagarkkk ho tum dono ka.)

[jenosweave]

college!kun

FINALLY A KUN REQUEST!! this is one of my favorites please enjoy and don’t let me flop!!

let’s start w the basics…

major: linguistics

minor: comparative literature

extracurriculars: book club

other: literally writing his own novel??

school life

kun is such a good student

he always does his work on time and tries to get ahead when he can

he’s a plug too

he'll even do his friends’ readings and summarize it for them if they have a particularly busy week

he doesn’t allow himself to be used though

he just loves and appreciates his friends so much and wants to help them be successful when there are things they cant control that can get in the way of that

kun really enjoys his studies

his required courses are really stimulating and keep him on his toes

he loves leaving class every day feeling like he’s one step closer to understanding where language comes from and why we communicate the way we do

kun’s passion for linguistics sprouted from his adoration of reading

he’s a member of every book he could find on campus

he firmly believes the more you read, the more perspectives you’re able to see, which in turn, makes you a generally more enlightened and compassionate person

kun loves reading and language so much that he decided to just write his own book over the summer for fun

he sent a “very rough draft” to a local publisher

just for experience

and to get him used to rejection in case he ever wants to seriously pursue a career in writing someday

but now he’s fucked because

they actually liked it??? so he kind of has a book deal now??

which he was not expecting at all

there were a lot of comments for him to address as he expected

and the first one he decided to deal with was the lack of a love interest for his protagonist

except there’s only one problem with that

he has no idea how to successfully write for a love interest

so he does what any normal young writer would do to get inspiration

and goes to the university’s monthly speed dating event in the quad

early stages

you had been “too single for too long,” according to your best friend

and the only way you could get them to shut up about it was if you attended one of the school’s speed dating nights

and you decided it was worth the trouble, and made your way to the quad to get this over with

you had exactly two and a half minutes with every person you’d “date”

and for the most part, those two and a half minutes couldn’t go by fast enough

after talking to other students who only cared about football, trucks, and battlestar galactica, you were about ready to up and go

but your second to last “date” changed your mind

his name was kun

“alright this is gonna go by quick, so i’m gonna take the reigns if you don’t mind,” he spoke

he was oddly productive

you nodded

“great!’ he smiled. “any hobbies?”

“well, i love to read an-”

“reading? me too! what genres are you into?”

a wide smile stretched across his smooth face and his pupils dilated noticeably UGH CUTIE

“i mean, i like fantasy, historical fiction, biographies, science fi-”

“no way! me too!” he interrupts. “i just like all books so much!! i’m writing my own actually!”

you thought that was mighty impressive and asked him what his book is about

and he told you he can’t disclose that information because of his publishing deal

and youre like,,,, wA i T.. PUBLISHER?? THAT’S SO COOL!!

and he goes, “thank you! maybe you’d like to come and read it sometime when it’s finished.”

you couldn’t help but blush and turn your head away

and that’s when you noticed you only had ten seconds left on the stopwatch

you hurriedly seized the pen the event organizers had left on the desk and grabbed kun by the wrist, taking him by surprise and causing a slight gasp to escape his lips

you messily scribbled your number onto his forearm

and as soon as you had finished writing your digits, the timer rang

as you both departed from the table, kun shouted at you from a distance “how am i supposed to read this chicken scratch?!”

you shot him a smile playfully and shouted back

“text me!”

you didn’t receive a text that night

or the night after

but the night after that, your phone dinged as soon as you hopped out of the shower

“hey! this is kun from the speed dating thing. i hope this is the right number. i’ve already texted three wrong people and have had to explain myself to each of them. it’s really embarrassing. please confirm if this is you!”

you sent him a simple “:)” in response

“so does that mean you’re down to get a coffee with me tomorrow?”

“:)”

the next morning, you had the first of many, many morning coffee breaks outside the school library

these quick little meetups usually concluded with a quick sift through the library, where you’d each recommend each other your favorite books and read the prologues to each other over a hot cup of coffee

at first, the librarians used to kick you out for having drinks inside, but now youre clever and just hide your cups under your jackets

this became a weekly occurrence

and then it started happening twice a week

and now you basically see kun every other day

he even managed to get you to join the biographical book club with him, something you’d be way too nervous to do before meeting him

kun was such a good guy

you knew he was smart and funny and you knew he was caring and fun to be around

but what you didn’t know is that he had been smitten with you from the second you scribbled your number onto his arm

one day, as you were studying for your last final of the semester, you got a call from kun

you sent him the automated response, “sorry, i cant talk right now”

but he called right back anyway

“what is it?” you answered

“i’m sorry if you’re studying but this is super important and im so excited and i just have to tell someone!”

“what’s up kun?”

“my book! it’s finished! and i finally added in the love interest like the publishers asked!”

“I’M SO PROUD OF YOU BITCH

“finish studying! then we can facetime and i can read you a chapter!”

and so for the next thirty nights (even over your winter break), you and kun would facetime so he could read you a chapter until the book was finished

and you’d give him pointers at the end of each one so he could go back and revise once you had gone to sleep

the plot was incredible, honestly

the protagonist was a divorced middle-aged man whose wife left him for being too aggressive and absent-minded all the time

in the divorce, the wife got full custody of their teenage son

but when she goes on a business trip, the protagonist gets to watch the son

however, when he goes to pick the son up to take him to his house, hes nowhere to be found

so the novel follows this poor guy trying to find his missing son

but no one seems to be listening to him, so hes losing his mind

he’s working alongside the police and falls for the dci leading the investigation

and basically in the end it turns out he’s schizophrenic and his wife and son never existed at all

all of this was in his imagination

and he had just been showing up to the police station every day like a crazy person

kun did so much research for that

he even got the accuracy of his portrayal of a schizophrenic checked by his pal psych major!jungwoo

on the night kun finally finished reading to you

you were sh0000000000000k like what the fuck all that trouble for it all to be fake?? genius kun!!

so he asked for your feedback on the development and personalities of all his characters

you complimented him on how well he portrayed the dci

they weren’t your typical love interest

they were headstrong and witty and educated

and they were determined to help the protagonist find his son when no one else was listening to him

“you like them?” he asked you

“yes! they were so different than i had expe-”

“i was hoping you’d like them. i was inspired by you.”

your heart BURST!!!

“KUN THAT’S SO SWEET!”

and that’s when he explained to you why he went to speed dating to begin with, and told you he was so glad to have met you

because you were the “perfect muse”

and then he asked if you’d like to be his s/o

and of course

you said yes bc duh?? he’s kun?? 

relationship

kun is the cutest bf ever!!!

nothing has really changed between you two

you still have library and car dates

but now you hold hands sometimes

and when kun is feeling extra bold, he gives you a peck on the cheek

you guys have such a cute and innocent relationship

you can often be seen together on the campus quad where you met for the first time, you in kuns arms, him tickling your stomach to make you giggle

he’s so sweet and is so considerate of your needs

out of all the boys, he’s hands down the one most likely to change for you if you guys hit a rough patch

he always pays for food

which kind of ticks you off because what if one day he goes broke

but all he really cares about is your happiness and satisfaction

and he really just wants you to know that no one loves you quite like he does

and he tells you every day how grateful he is to have you in his life

[callunavulgari]

YEAR-IN-BOOKS | 2019

So. Last year I read 89 books. The year before that I read 39. The year before that I read 23. This year I have (thus far) read 110 books out of my goal of 100 and will likely finish both The Secret Commonwealth and The Library of the Unwritten before the end of the year. I may even finish another depending on which audiobook I go for next. So I’m gonna talk a lot. Again.

1. a book you loved?

Again, I read a lot of books this year. It was a great year for books. I discovered Brandon Sanderson, which has been amazing. I reread at least two different favorite series, some graphic novels, a few books that would ordinarily be outside of my typical genre. But I’m going to pick Red, White, & Royal Blue, which was probably the one I loved the most. Casey McQuiston, for those of you who weren’t in The Social Network fandom, wrote a really fantastic RPF in like 2011 or so. It was gorgeous and while I’m sad that it was never finished, I can still appreciate the crap out of it. RWARB is a story about the son of America’s first female president falling for the Prince of Wales. It is everything I loved about fics like The Student Prince and Drastically Redefining Protocol and more. It’s best universe 100% and I will probably be rereading it within the next few months because I loved it to pieces. Also, it won both best romance and best debut novel on goodreads by a pretty large margin, which is amazing! 

2. a book you hated?

I think the only book that I absolutely hated this year was The Gunslinger. Which sucks because a lot of people recommended that one pretty highly, but I either reluctantly enjoy Stephen King’s books or I outright loathe them. My review, directly from goodreads, with a rare one star rating:  

“Thing number 1: same guy who did the audiobook recording for The Stand did this one as well. Bad enough. Thing number 2: I forgot how badly Stephen King writes women. I got to listen to this narrator read a scene where a woman has an orgasm because the main character is exorcising a lust demon out of her by shoving a gun into her unmentionables, and then I got to hear someone described as "falling whorishly." DNF at 75%. Sorry. I just could not do it. Falling whorishly was the straw that broke the camel's back.”

3. a book that made you cry?

I definitely cried when I finished The Hero of Ages, which is the third of the original Mistborn trilogy by Sanderson. Without spoiling things... I was definitely crying by the end of it. Might have been crying at the end of the first in the series too. The only other ones I can think of that may have made me sniffle are Everything I Never Told You and To Be Taught, If Fortunate. 

The first because it’s a wonderfully crafted little tale about a family getting torn apart when their daughter dies tragically. The whole thing is pulled wonderfully taut with tension, and each of the character’s snippets into Lydia’s life before her death leads you to more and more discoveries until finally everything comes together seamlessly in the end.

The second because it is a little, little book about a big, big universe and is just so achingly beautiful and big inside that it hurts.

4. a book that made you happy?

I mean, I’m tempted to Red, White, and Royal Blue again because it is 100% the one that made me happiest. I was grinning like an idiot half the time I was reading it. But, because answering the same book for two questions seems cheap when I’ve read over 100, so I’m gonna go with King of Scars, which is the sequel to the sequel of the original Grisha trilogy by Leigh Bardugo. It took the best things about the original series and combined it with the best parts of Six of Crows and left me with a super riveting, fun read.

5. the best sequel?

Gah, I read so many series this year, so this is kind of hard. I have two answers!

The Well of Ascension, which was the second of the Mistborn novels and probably my favorite and The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy, which in my humble opinion was leagues better than The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue. Not that it was bad, I’m just starved for stories about smart sexy ladies who become pirates and flirt with other pretty pirate ladies.

6. most anticipated release for the new year?

Return of the Thief by Megan Whalen Turner is still my answer to this one. The release date got pushed back to August of next year instead of March of this one, so provided it doesn’t get pushed back again - that is 100% my answer. Some others I’m excited about: The Nobleman’s Guide to Scandal and Shipwrecks, which I found out about two minutes ago, the as yet untitled Stormlight Archive #4 which is apparently coming out in November next year, and like six books that don’t have release dates yet so probably won’t come out until 2021. Oh, oh, oh, and The King of Crows, the fourth in The Diviners series, which I forgot was coming out in February!

7. favorite new author?

Easily Brandon Sanderson. Most of my other favorites that I really loved were all authors I’ve read before. Sanderson was my Rothfuss of 2019. Discovering his books changed my whole damn year.

8. favorite book to film adaptation?

I didn’t reread the series this year, but HBO put out their adaptation of His Dark Materials and it has been absolutely amazing so far! I’m blown away by every single episode and can only hope that the second and third seasons will be this good.

9. the most surprising book?

Okay, so there’s this book that I picked up randomly at the library because I liked its cover. It’s called The Hundred-Foot Journey by Richard Morais and it’s about an Indian boy who grows up to become a world famous chef. It’s so, so rich. The detail is wonderful. You can taste the food, feel the sun, be a stranger in a market somewhere in France. It was a true delight of a book and definitely one of my favorites. 

10. the most interesting villain?

I read Codename Villanelle shortly after I got into the TV show, and it was actually a surprisingly good book. She’s a great villain. However, I also read Forest of a Thousand Lanterns, which you don’t even realize is about the evil queen until you’re like halfway through the book. That one was really, really well done and I need to get around to reading its sequel.

11. the best makeouts?

I’m tempted to say Chilling Effect because there’s just something about a sassy space pirate making out with her alien crew member whose skin can make her go into anaphylactic  shock that really appeals to the part of me that shipped Sheppard/Garrus from Mass Effect, but there were two really steamy ones in The Hating Game (elevators) and Ninth House (slightly dubcon-y bit because one character is drugged, but super searing anyway?). 

Also the bit in Red, White and Royal Blue where they make out against a painting of Hamilton in the White House will probably get me every time.

12. a book that was super frustrating?

Again, But Better was a pretty decent book over all. But there were slightly too many pop culture references and listening to an audiobook where the characters are signing along to Blink 182 along with several other songs was a little cringey because the narrator did not actually sing, just kind of singsongy shouted. It was weird.

The Alchemist was also really slow going for such a short book but was over all pretty good.

13. a book you texted about, and the text was IN CAPSLOCK?

I have no real life friends who really read and it is fucking tragic, so the closest I got was recommending a bunch of books to my mom and going off on tangents about how good they were. I think I might have ranted to Nick about a couple of them too.

14. a book for the small children in your life?

I reread The Bartimaeus trilogy again this year and it’s a kid’s book series that I would recommend to literally anybody because it might be my favorite series ever? I also read Lockwood & Co, a kid’s series by the same author who did Bartimaeus, which was fantastic because I didn’t even know he’d written anything since Bartimaeus? It didn’t quite compare, mostly because I adore Bartimaeus way too much, but was still highly entertaining. Spooky kid detectives hunt ghosts! 

15. a book you learned from?

While I did not read a single non-fiction book this year (again, whoops), a lot of books are informative even if they’re fiction. Hell, I learned more about cooking from The Hundred Foot Journey than I have in any cookbook out there.

16. a book you wouldn’t normally try?

Maybe Challenger Deep? I’ve been branching out more, so it’s getting harder and harder to tell which books I wouldn’t normally try. I did read like three exclusively romance novels this year, which was a bit odd for me.

17. a book with something magical in it?

I still say all books are magical. And definitely a lot of the books I read were magical, but probably the one with the most magic was The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern, which was a meticulously crafted love letter to all stories and fairy tales. It was really magical and definitely lived up to The Night Circus. If she keeps up like this, I won’t even mind the decade between publications, because she has a hell of a way with words.

18. the best clothes?

Maybe either The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo (the descriptions of her gorgeous silky green dresses made me deeply envious) or Three Dark Crowns (which had neat food and clothes from what I remember)

19. the most well-rounded characters?

All of Sanderson’s stuff has great characters, but Everything I Never Told You is still probably the one with the best. Celeste Ng is really, really good at making you feel each of her characters down to their marrow.

20. the best world-building?

To Be Taught, If Fortunate was very much wow when it comes to the world building. But so was Ninth Gate and The Alloy Era of the Mistborn novels (sequel series to the original series that takes place hundreds of years after the first series). I also read Saga this year, a graphic novel series about a man and his wife on the run from their governments with their baby daughter because their species are in a long standing war and nobody wants anybody to know that they can procreate. That has some fantastic world building.

21. the worst world-building?

Maybe What If It’s Us? I found that one largely boring.

22. a book with a good sidekick?

Definitely any of the Alloy of Law books. Wayne is a wonderful sidekick and all of the other “side characters” in that series are fantastic.

23. the most insufferable narrator?

Ugh, the Gunslinger. Both the character in the book and the person who narrated the audiobook.

24. a book you were excited to read for months beforehand?

I think the only ones I was really excited for head of time were the two Folk of Air sequels by Holly Black and The Starless Sea. I still need to read Call Down the Hawk, and I’m currently reading The Secret Commonwealth, the sequel to His Dark Materials which I’ve been excited about since I learned that it would be a thing.

25. a book you picked up on a whim?

You already know about The Hundred Foot Journey. We Are Where the Nightmares Go and The Monster of Elendhaven were also both randoms that I picked up during the Halloween season that I really enjoyed.

26. a book that should be read in a foreign country?

The Hundred Foot Journey. 100%

27. a book cassian andor would like?

I still don’t know what to make of this question.

28. a book gina linetti would like?

Probably any of the steamy ones? I honestly don’t know.

29. your favorite cover art?

Probably The Ten Thousand Doors of January. It’s very pretty and flowery and the book itself is fantastic. I also really like the cover of David Mogo, Godhunter.

30. a book you read in translation?

I think The Alchemist was the only book I read that was translated from another language.

31. a book from another century?

Ha! North and South was first published in 1854. Other than that the oldest ones I’ve got were written in the 80s (Shards of Honor, Ender’s Game, and The Alchemist) or the 50s (The Two Towers).

32. a book you reread?

This year I reread the Bartimaeus Trilogy, the Temeraire novels (and then finished the last two I hadn’t read yet), Sabriel, and The King of Attolia.

33. a book you’re dying to talk about, and why?

I have clearly talked enough at this point. I think the only one that I loved that I didn’t get a chance to talk about already was Horrorstor, which is a book about haunted Ikea (basically). It’s fantastic and hilarious and spooky and now that I think about it Gina Linetti would probably like it. Oh, and The Bear and the Nightingale trilogy, which was a retelling of an old Russian tale. It was great. 

TLDR; Read Sanderson’s books, Leigh Bardugo’s books, and whatever Casey McQuiston writes for the next 30 years.

[ourmrsreynolds]

Jon, Arya and the Childhood BFF to Lovers Trope: Or, why everyone ships J0nsa

I had an argument with my sister which was precipitated by her quipping “nobody likes childhood BFFs” and “hot new guy is always endgame.” I almost flipped a table. I sat there and I seethed for 30 seconds and then I texted her back PIRATES OF THE MOTHERFUCKING CARIBBEAN and I gotta say I was p pleased with myself because yes, Elizabeth and Will end up together even though Jack Sparrow exists and is indisputably hot.

My sister and I are reading Jenny Han’s To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before. This is a story that sets out to deconstruct the trope of “It was always gonna be you and me,” and while my sister can crow all day about how Hot New Guy Gets the Girl, I want to examine why it makes thematic and structural sense for that to be endgame. I think it comes down to the protagonist, who seldom ventures out of her comfort zone and has trouble letting herself want things. The combination of extremely deep feeling and almost pathological constraint is what makes her story so compelling—because in the course of the novel she learns to unabashedly want things, to reach out and take them: and what she wants is the sardonic lacrosse-playing jock, not the Boy Next Door she’s had a crush on since forever. One of the running gags in the background is her nine-year-old little sister inventing increasingly far-fetched reasons she should be allowed to have a puppy, because the kid “knows what she wants and will do anything it takes to get it.” The contrast with hyper-repressed Main Character could not be more pronounced. I ask you, who does Main Character remind you of? Not Arya, for a surety. This is one thousand percent Sansa.

After the finale aired Jenny Han and some other YA authors were dragged on twitter for openly shipping J0nsa, which, I mean (a) it was more “ugh fan fiction” and “ew incest” and “think of the children!!1!” than anything specific to J0nsa (b) of course she ships J0nsa. Of fucking COURSE. J0nsa is not a childhood BFFs ship, because the whole point is that Sansa’s character development leads her to see Jon in a new light. It’s above all about Sansa’s arc and the scales falling from Sansa’s eyes and there isn’t room for someone who has always seen the value in Jon, who has always loved him best. Because that would not be sufficiently Pride & Prejudice-y. Allow me to remind everyone that Pride & Prejudice is (1) the ur-Romance novel and (2) about people changing their minds and revising their initial judgments. Ffs it was originally titled “First Impressions.” This is the dominant narrative wrt romantic love, then—that one must fall in love, that it must be accompanied by major character development and reevaluation of preconceptions. This is the appeal of Enemies-to-Lovers.

Listen, I don’t ship a pairing because I think it’s endgame; I ship it because I think it’s interesting. What I’m trying to do here is formulate a theory as to why so many people find Jon & Sansa’s dynamic interesting, as compared to the small handful of us who find Jon & Arya’s dynamic interesting. I’m not engaging with the people who are anti-incest on principle (if you’re not into incest this is maybe not the fandom for you). I think it has a lot to do with the sort of romantic stories we elevate and validate. Gendrya is a wildly popular ship, and it falls very much in the Childhood BFFs mold, but I think we can all agree that Gendry & Arya are not a finished product—they have a lot of stuff to work on, and what shippers are interested in is the process of them hammering it out. Jon and Arya though? They’re already president of each other’s fan clubs, where’s the tension or drama in that? The obstacles to their relationship are external and plot-driven rather than internal and character-driven. And I say unto you: This is Arya’s creation myth: Before there was anything, there was Jon. That’s it that’s my kink that’s the kind of all-encompassing bond I’m about. The absolute trust they repose in each other gives me LIFE. I’ve seen some J0nsas parry the “she’s not even his favorite sister” argument with “because she’s his wife not his sister” and like ... ok valid ig but the whole reason I’m interested in Jon/Arya is because they set no boundaries on their love?? They are each other’s e v e r y t h i n g. I mean if you want to read about two strangers fumbling their way towards feelings that’s fine but do not pretend to me that J0nsa is some kind of underdog ship. It’s the most basic of ships -- it’s a Pride & Prejudice ship. (Gendrya otoh is Persuasion, which is the best Austen novel don’t @ me.) For in-universe reasons why J0nsa undercuts Jon and Arya’s unconditional love this is a great post, but I’m going to stick to the meta reasons people ship what they ship.

Here is the thing I will die mad about: Everybody takes childhood BFFs for this hegemonic trope and wouldn’t it be so eDgY to subvert it by making her fall for a HANDSOME STRANGER instead. Jfc have you seen the biggest young adult franchises of the past decade? They are: Twilight, The Hunger Games, The Mortal Instruments. Spoiler alert none of the heroines end up with their childhood bffs. I know the love triangle is hardly the point of The Hunger Games but facts are facts. It’s been 150 years and the Little Women fandom is still generating twice as much Jo/Laurie fic as Jo/Bhaer fic because Louisa May Alcott did Jo March dirty by not letting her marry the man she clearly belonged with. I just think the idea of there being someone you belong with, always have and always will, is ultimate #goals and this is the hill i will die on.

I look at Sansa and Arya’s starting points, when it comes to Jon, and however their arcs resolve in the end I cannot imagine how you could retcon J0nsa into some kind of lifelong attachment?? Here is Sansa in the wake of Lysa’s death, mulling her options:

there was nowhere for her to go. Winterfell was burned and desolate, Bran and Rickon dead and cold. Robb had been betrayed and murdered at the Twins, along with their lady mother. Tyrion had been put to death for killing Joffrey, and if she ever returned to King’s Landing the queen would have her head as well. The aunt she’d hoped would keep her safe had tried to murder her instead. Her uncle Edmure was a captive of the Freys, while her great-uncle the Blackfish was under siege at Riverrun. I have no place but here, Sansa thought miserably.

She lists Tyrion among her potential refuges, without once mentioning Jon! TYRION. Unreal. Even Brienne weighs the possibility of Sansa going North to Jon, and Brienne has literally never even met Sansa:

though all her siblings had been slain, Brienne knew that Sansa still had an uncle and a bastard half brother on the Wall

In case anyone requires reminding, Arya takes every possible opportunity to suggest “hey we could go to the Wall instead of wherever we’re going!”:

"I know where we could go," Arya said. She still had one brother left. Jon will want me, even if no one else does.

Maybe I should go to the Wall instead of Riverrun. Jon wouldn't care who I killed or whether I brushed my hair

One of these girls has been trying to get back to Jon for going on four books now. The other one thinks about Jon Arryn more times in her POVs than she thinks about Jon Snow (18 Arryns out of 27 total hits for “Jon” in all Sansa chapters). I’m not saying Sansa hasn’t grown and changed, or that her reunion with Jon might not evolve into something interesting; it’s just not a dynamic I personally care about. I’m definitely not saying that authors deserve to be publicly shamed for shipping fictional characters, but I think an author’s shipping preferences are revealing and shed light on their choices as far as which stories they choose to tell. I’m saying I ship Jon/Arya and I accept it’s not the ship dynamic that appeals to most people but here I am.