#you'd kill yourself if i ever left and i told the same thing to my friends and felt seen?????? you took off the ring on my middle finger

[delicatetaysversion]

oh to be loved by taylor fucking swift

[lordprettyflackotara]

chapter eight || hitchhiker || the proxies

SMUT MINORS DNI 18+. tw: humiliation like big time please read with discretion, degrading, rough sex, breeding kink, choking, face fucking

Masky knew time was running out.

In his hand sat a scrub brush, his fingers gripping the wood so tightly his knuckles were turning white. He knew they were running out of time. The Operator wanted you. He could see it now. He had been a blind fool to not realize it sooner. Your paranoia. Masky felt like a fool to ever even think that them being around you wouldn't cause this. He gritted his teeth as he scrubbed at your kitchen floor. They needed to do what they did best: disappear.

Toby was keeping The Operator busy, Hoodie occupied with finding Nova. They had agreed to let her live for your sake, so you would have someone while they were gone. Leaving meant one thing for certain: absolutely no traces were to be left behind that they were over there. No fingerprints, items, hairs, or any sign. Masky knew this is what they had to do. It was for your own good. They couldn't let The Operator have you. You didn't deserve this life of imprisonment. It was then your apartment door slammed open, your small figure shaking with rage. Masky's eyes widened, his expression hidden under his mask. You slammed the door behind you, reaching around to your back waistband.

You weren't proud of your decision to steal from Nova. She was your best friend. But as you clutched the metal piece in your hands, you had never felt more alive. You held out the stolen gun, aiming it at Masky's crouched figure.

"Who are you?" You asked coldly. You had never felt more explosive with emotions, your heart racing. "My name is Masky. I am a mere alter created by the Tim you know and love," Masky said flatly. You narrowed your eyes, your eyebrows furrowing. "Explain yourself," You ordered. Masky raised his hands, slowly rising to his feet. He noted you wearing his jacket even as you pointed a gun at him. "There's too much to explain, what you need to know-" Masky began, your audible scoff cutting him off. Your face was twisted in anger and betrayal, your hands beginning to visibly shake. "I don't give a shit what you think I need to know. Tell me everything. From the beginning. Leave out any details and i-i'll shoot!" You exclaimed.

Masky straightened his shoulders, eyeing you through his mask. "When you met us we had just gotten done with murdering Detective Williams, or whatever his name is. They all blend in together after a while. May I sit? We're going to be here for a while," Masky asked. He gestured to your coffee table. You frowned, cocking your gun towards the table. Masky recognized it to be a python. The same one Nova had threatened to kill Toby with. "I can listen to the story without your mockery. Detective Winston had a family. He had a community that looked up to him," You spat, venom lacing your words. Masky dug in his jean pocket, yanking out a box of cigarettes.

"They always do. He made himself a target by investigating the proxy symbol. I know Nova has showed it to you," Masky said. He was merely guessing, but your face twisting in surprise confirmed his suspicion. "The proxy symbol has been around for centuries. It was created by my maker, The Operator. An unstoppable supernatural entity that diminishes the sanity of his victims. The ones he wants to make proxies at least," Masky explained. He took out a cigarette, not bothering to offer you one. You looked like you could use one though. Your shaking was very noticeable. "When he plants the proxy symbol at a location. He has a specific target in mind. Once the target breaks down to his liking, he'll turn them into what we are. Enslaved proxies mindlessly forced to do his bidding," Masky told you. Masky knew it was highly unprobeable you'd actually pull the trigger.

But to make you feel better he took his lighter out of his pocket slowly. "However, in the modern day world, getting a proxy is a bit more tricky. Back when Hoodie and I-" He started, noticing you looking lost. He flicked the lighter, igniting the end of his stick. "Hoodie is Brian's alter. We were created due to Tim and Brian's mental corruption and faltering. We can swallow what The Operator wants. They can't," Masky clarified. He inhaled his cigarette, any protest of him smoking inside being kept to yourself. "Back to what I was saying. Back then, maybe seven years ago, people just used missing posters and if you weren't found in 48 hours, you were presumed dead. Nowadays there's cameras and more compassion," Masky rambled. He exhaled his cigarette through his mouth, a difference between him and Tim.

"Killing cops and detectives isn't our bread and butter you know. We used to just clean up corpses or crime scenes. But that symbol reaching a wider audience is lethal to life as you know it. Nova really fucked up, plastering that shit on television," Masky said in an annoyed tone. Your eyes were beginning to water, your energy spent on fighting back the tears that threatened to poor. "Why?" You asked. Masky raised his hand, as if having a gun at him was unfazing. "I'm getting there princess," Masky replied. He inhaled more of his cigarette, before quickly exhaling. The buzz gave him a decent amount of relief from stress. "When The Operator plants a symbol somewhere, he has a singular target in mind. If it gets exposed to too many people, they could suffer from his wrath too. You'd be surprised how many people are one day away from snapping. He targets the mentally weak, like Tim and Brian. The weak with deep down issues that he could exercise to his advantage," Masky said dryly.

"Don't say that!" You hissed. Masky gave you an odd look, one concealed by his mask. "Why? Because you made out with Brian? Because you shared a cigarette with Tim?" He questioned. Your tears were flooding your waterline now, blinks away from free falling. "Well listen up princess. They're the reason you're fucked," Masky barked. The tears became too much, two droplets sliding down your cheeks. "The Operator has now shown interest in you. And it's their fault. It's also mine, for not putting a bullet through your skull when I had the chance," He said coldly. Your hands were shaking, your finger trembling against the trigger. You had never shot a gun in your life. You feared if you removed your finger he would stop talking. But you also feared if you kept it there you may accidentally pull the trigger.

"And Toby?" You asked.

Masky picked up his head, "What about him?"

"How does he play into all of this? You haven't mentioned him once," You explained. Masky took another sharp inhale, the tobacco smoke circling around his lungs. "The kid was practically adopted by The Operator when he burned down his house. Tourette's, schizophrenia, and the inability to feel pain. The Operator’s perfect adopted child. Not including his homicidal tendencies," Masky told you. Your eyes widened, your heart beginning to throb painfully. "Homicidal tendencies?" You whispered. It suddenly occurred to you. Nova had been right all along. Masky pistol whipped you. He was responsible for the bullet wounds. "He cuts up the bodies?" You said, phrasing your words as more of a question. Masky nodded affirmatively. "Like no one you've seen before," He confirmed. You felt your stomach churn, nausea ensuing quickly. They were murderers, all of them.

You blinked slowly, soaking all of it in. You glanced over at your kitchen, noting a duffel bag on your counter and Masky's abandoned scrub brush on the floor. "Why were you cleaning my apartment?" You asked. Masky ran his fingers through his choppy hair. "To leave no traces of us. This is what we do. We get the job done, then we disappear," He said, the words spilling out like he didn't want to say them. You froze, his words soaking in. They were leaving? After everything that had happened? "And the duffel bag?" You questioned. Masky slowly rose from the coffee table, taking one last puff of his cigarette before tossing it into the sink.

He grabbed it, yanking open the zipper and tossing it upside down. Out spilled handfuls of hundred dollar bills. You had never seen so much hard cold cash before, your heart plummeting at the sight. “What is this supposed to be?” You gasped. Masky tossed the duffel bag aside. “A peace offering. We’re hoping you can forgive us. That’s around fifty thousand dollars. That’ll pay off your debts. Take the money and Nova and get the fuck out of town,” Masky advised. You temporarily put down the gun, feeling defeat.

“Thats what you think I want? To forget the three of you? Why did you do this to me? Use me to get to Nova? You-” You babbled, pausing when you realized you weren’t talking to Tim. You swallowed, choking on your own words. “Was it a game? To all of you? To Brian? Hood- Hoodie? Toby? Tim? You?” You questioned. Masky lifted his mask, tossing it aside. “Listen to me very carefully princess. Hoodie and I may have started off that way but you have no idea how much you’ve grown on us. How much we care about you. I mean, for fucks sake we just gave you fifty grand,” Masky said. You stomped over to him, grabbing a handful of the cash and throwing it at his chest.

“You think I give a shit about any of that? I let the three of you, five of you, what the fuck ever, into my goddamn life and not only, do you lie to me about who you are. You murder people due to a demon that you attached to me and now you’re just going to up and leave? Thats your resolution?” You exclaimed. Masky went to take a step towards you, your arm raising the gun out of instinct. “Dont fucking touch me or I swear to God i’ll shoot,” You threatened. The swelling in your chest was immense, pressure assaulting your chest.

For the first time in Masky’s existence, he felt something unfamiliar. He watched as you struggled to stay upright, your chest rising and lowering at a dramatic rate. “I don’t understand, why are you upset? This is the best course of action,” Masky said bluntly. You wiped away a few tears, your lip quivering uncontrollable. “Because I fucking care about you! About all of you!” You bellowed. Masky froze, watching your hand shake as you gripped the gun. He realized what he was feeling, his mouth running dry.

Remorse. He felt remorse.

In a swift motion Masky charged at you, one hand gripped around the python, the other backing you into the front door. His large fingers gripped around the gun, angrily tossing it to the side. “First things first princess, you ever aim a gun at me again i’m going to shoot you with it. Secondly, the next time you aim a gun at someone, maybe take the gun off of safety first,” He growled. You shook under his touch as he towered over you. “And thirdly, I care about you too,” Masky confessed softly. You stared up at him, the face of the man who you had shared a cigarette with and bought you cupcakes on a late night whim. Unsurely he brought his hand to your face.

He cupped your cheek, wiping away the remaining tears that stained your soft skin. You searched his eyes unsurely. “There isn’t shit we can do now about how we got here. But I want the best for you,” Masky told you. You put your hand on top of his, closing your eyes. “You all cant leave me. You- you can’t,” You whimpered. Masky’s gaze softened, watching tears flow freely. His thumbs couldn’t wipe them away fast enough. “You’re all I have,” You uttered. It occurred to Masky then, the situation you were truly in.

You had Nova, sure. But how long was it before she wanted a family of her own? Maybe she would keep you around, sure. But you worked a dead end job, one that clearly was not paying the bills. Your dreams were far and out of reach. You had no contact with anyone else besides them. How could he do it? How could Masky leave you here all by yourself? He always thought of himself to be stronger than this. To be stronger than Tim. He was created to be a ruthless obedient murder machine. Yet as you sobbed into his hand, he realized he may be more than that. He couldn’t allow The Operator to have you. He knew that for certain. But all he could do for now, was have you to himself.

He guided your head, using his hand to guide your chin to look at him. You swallowed, your eyes glassy as Masky pressed his lips to yours. His lips were rough, your arms wrapping themselves around his neck without a second thought. He pushed you flat against the door, his large hands roaming down your body. Briefly he bent down, reaching under your thighs. “Jump,” He grumbled against your lips. You did as commanded, the brunette lifting you like you weighed nothing at all.

Your legs wrapped around Masky’s waist out of instinct, his bulge rubbing against your clothed core. He began to slowly grind against you, the two of you groaning in each other’s mouths. Your hands found his hair, gently tugging at the roots as you meshed your lips against his. He swiped his tongue along your bottom lip, causing you to whine as you granted him access. Involuntarily you pulled him closer and closer, wanting Masky as close to you as humanly possible. “I have to warn you princess, I don’t play nice,” Masky huffed, pulling away from your lips. His cock was throbbing his jeans, each subtle movement of his hips resulting in a whine escaping your throat.

“I don’t want nice. I want you,” You whispered. Your doe eyes met his, your words only making him more flustered. “I’m not like Toby, I could seriously hurt you,” Masky repeated. You bit the inside of your cheek, your gaze flickering to his lips. “So hurt me then,” You agreed. Masky’s eyebrows raised, a devious smirk crossing his lips. “You sure you can handle it pretty girl?” He questioned. He brought his hand to your throat, squeezing the sides. You groaned as he restricted your airway, your hips rolling against his. “Holy fuck, you really are a slut,” Masky grumbled. He licked his lips, setting you down on the floor.

His hands fiddled with your sweatpants, shoving them and your panties down to the floor in a careless motion. You expected him to lead you to the couch or to drop to his knees. To do anything but what he did next. In a swift motion he picked you up by your thighs, nuzzling his face in between your thighs. Fear washed over you as he held you mid air, your back hitting the wall. You were almost touching the ceiling, your mouth running dry. “M-Masky i’m not sure-” You started to protest, Masky’s curious eyes gazing up at you. He held you as if you weighed nothing, his mouth dangerously close to your cunt.

“Something wrong princess? I thought you said you could handle it,” Masky chuckled. He straightened out his back, unfazed by holding you standing up.He had looped your legs over his shoulders, hit breath fanning over your folds. "It's just a b-bit high up here," You stuttered. Masky leaned forward, licking an agonizingly slow stripe up your folds. "I got you princess, now relax and fall apart for me," Masky purred. He brought his mouth to your clit, groaning into your folds as he devoured your pussy. Your core was aching, praying for more. His tongue wasn't enough, each flick making your body shudder. You began to relax, raking your hands through his hair as he lapped at your cunt.

Unlike Toby he was far more rough and assertive, his tongue teasing your entrance before continuing to lap any juices you produced. His grip on you was tight, your head tilting back against the wall as he held you in place. You felt the rope inside of you tighten. "Fuck Masky right fucking there! So close," You slurred. Masky took one last long lap of your cunt, before bringing you back to the floor. The tension inside of you dissolved. "W-what was that? I was so close!" You hissed. Masky grabbed a handful of your hair, dragging you over to the couch. He threw you over the arm of the couch, your ass high in the air. A sharp slap was delivered to your skin, a chill running down your spine.

"You'll take what I give you. Such a whiny little thing," Masky purred. He rubbed the skin he had slapped, admiring your flesh turning a deep red. The pain he delivered was gratifying, your core throbbing with a different desire. An ache you had never craved before. You turned around, throwing yourself to the ground. "What do we have here? A cock hungry whore?" Masky mused. You yanked at his belt, before undoing his jeans. Masky couldn't deny you, his desire for you too much to ignore any longer. You brought his cock into your mouth without a second thought, your doe eyes staring up at him. You hollowed out your cheeks, taking his cock down to the base.

"Do- Do you want me to face fuck you?" Masky asked unsurely. You nodded as best as you could with his length down your throat, the sight setting Masky's body on fire. He grabbed your hand, putting it in a neat ponytail. "Your wish is my command princess. Why don't you touch that pretty cunt of yours?" He suggested. You slithered one of your hands down to your cunt, rubbing circles around your clit as Masky moved his hips. His cock hit the back of your throat slowly, his eyes gleaming with pride as you took him in stride. You whined around his cock as your core ignited with a familiar flame. The vibrations made Masky moan your name, his grip on your hair now tightening.

"How did I ever think of leaving? Fuck!" Masky moaned. His hips began to move faster, his cock abusing your throat as it pleased. You gagged around his thick shaft, saliva dripping down the sides of your mouth. Humiliatingly it dripped down your chin, a small puddle of it forming on the floor. You circled your clit faster, gagging on Masky as he shoved himself down your throat. "Such a good slut for me. So fucking good. Fucking hell," Masky grunted. Tears flooded your waterline again, this time the sight satisfying to the brunette standing above you. He enjoyed seeing you so hungry for his cock. So desperate to get off that you'd let him throat fuck you as you played with yourself.

You could feel yourself getting close again, this time your eyes pleading as they looked at Masky. "Can I cum?" You asked, your words muffled by his shaft. Masky pulled himself out of your throat, a thick string of saliva connecting your lips to his tip. "Look at you. Asking me to cum like a good girl," Masky praised. You continued to circle your clit, the brunette crouching down to your level. He grabbed your chin roughly, planting a sloppy kiss to your lips. "That's too fucking bad that you need to cum already. You're only allowed to cum on my cock," Masky spat. He grabbed a handful of your hair, pushing you towards the floor. You held your ass high in the air, whimpering as you forced yourself to disconnect your fingers from your clit.

Masky made his way behind you, pressing down on your back for a better arch. "You need to cum on a real mans dick princess. Lucky for you i'm here," Masy huffed. He slapped his tip on your drenched folds, the slightest sensation making you squirm. He pushed himself inside of you, both of you groaning in unison. "You're so lucky i'm here. If Tim was doing this he'd hold your hand. But that's not what you want. Is it?" He asked mockingly. He grabbed your wrist, pinning them behind your back as he bottomed out inside of you. "You want to be degraded and be a whore, don't you?" Masky tsked. You squeezed his shaft, then attempting to wiggle your helps so the brunette would move. "I'm not a whore!" You protested weakly. Masky grinned devilishly, pushing your head to the ground.

Your face was an inch away from your previously fallen saliva, your eyes widening. "Lick it up or I won't fuck you," Masky threatened calmly. You hesitated, his hand roughly grabbing your hair, guiding you over to the pool of saliva. "I don't think I stuttered princess," He growled. Humiliated, you stuck out your tongue, deciding to lick the saliva off of the floor. "Only whores do this kind of shit to get fucked. Guess that makes you a whore," Masky chuckled darkly. He began to move his hips, moans escaping your lips as you licked the wood below you. "You're my whore though, don't you ever forget it," Masky rambled. He snapped his hips into yours, his cock abusing your g spot with ease.

Your body shook as Masky pounded into you, his fingers gripping your waist so hard your sinful noises were a mixture of pain and pleasure. You couldn’t control the sounds you made, Masky’s cock pounding into you mercilessly. You felt the cord inside of you tighten again, Masky’s thrust alone enough to send you over the edge. “My fucking whore. C’mere,” Masky snarled. He released your wrist, grabbing you by your hair and yanking you towards him. Your back hit his back as he thrust up into you, your thighs beginning to tremble. Roughly he brought his hand to your throat, squeezing it harshly.

“Go on. I know you’re dying to cum on my cock,” Masky grunted. His breath was hot against your ear, his grip on your neck only tightening. “Just know once you do i’m going to cum deep inside of you,” Masky informed you. You whimpered, your body being forced closer and closer to the edge. “Awe you like that idea, don’t you princess? I can feel you squeezing me. You like the idea of me breeding you,” Masky snickered. It was then your vision went white, your breath shallow as you came around his cock. Your walls milked Masky as you rode out your orgasm, the brunette behind you grunting as he came inside of you.

Dazed, you felt Masky’s hand slip away from your neck. Slowly he pulled out of you, his cum dripping down your thighs and traveling onto the floor. You slumped onto the floor, Masky’s strong hands preventing you from fully falling over. “Let’s get you tucked in princess,” Masky mumbled. You allowed your eyes to flutter close, entrusting the man with a mask with take care of your limp body.

“Hey Masky?”

“Yeah?”

“You guys are staying, right?”

Masky hesitated, clearing his throat before answering, “Yes we are.”

“Can I keep the fifty grand too?”

—> next chapter

[yandere-sins]

A yandere with a darling who is kinda worse than they are but are still into it.....I don't know how unhinged you'd have to be for the yan to be like "Are you ok? Like if you need to talk about it I've put listening devices in the vents but still..."

I didn't want this to go into compliant darling territory or the darling being the yandere for someone else (though I did laugh a lot at the idea of telling the darling that the vents are bugged just in case they need it lol that's a good one). But this somewhat brought me a kind of different idea which you probably didn't intend, but I hope you like it all the same!

Warnings: Yandere, Violence (Descriptive acts of murder, stabbing, punching other people, breaking bones, getting bloody, a lot of blood actually, burying bodies), Sexual Content (Mentioning of non-con, dub-con, taking advantage, doing it in the blood of victims and next to dead bodies), Mentioning of drugs, Mentioning of knives, Patient/Doctor relationships, Murderer/Admirerer relationships, Reader is a serial killer, Yandere captures people for reader to kill, Yandere is also mad but so is reader, Reader doubts yandere's reasons for liking them, Reader is genderneutral but gets lifted into a bridal-style at the end, I once again didn't compile these warnings while writing and editing so I might miss some, sorry :(, Mentioning of wanting to throw up, Reader doesn't actually want to get better, it was different but really fun to write, Long post?, I feel like there are more warnings... but I can't remember anymore, if you made it this far and still want to read it, I hope you enjoy it!

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

Click

You sighed, holding your head in your hands, arms squeezed between your torso and legs. Your head was throbbing with the headache of the century. One you hadn't had in a long time... like five days. 

"You're a fucking dick, you know that?"

Groaning, you heard your own voice echo through your dizzy brain, nausea building as you felt like you were on a ship, everything moving unsteadily around you. The blinding lights flooding the off-white room didn't help soothe the feeling either, and your whole body kept tensing up, readying itself to throw up. You tried deep breaths, but they barely did anything. Not like they ever did something. You were too far gone for that.

"I did what was necessary," his voice rang out through the speaker in the top left corner, accompanied by the screeching of technical issues. You whined loudly, tearing your hair out as your head felt like it would burst. "My bad," he added, turning down the volume.

"What was it this time? Double the dose, triple? Must you keep drugging me? Some doctor you are..."

"I tried something new," he admitted, a cheeky grin in his voice. 

"Worked great..." you slurred, listening to him chuckle. 

For a while, you gave in to the need to collapse, putting your arm over your eyes to escape the lights while you thought about the last few things you could remember. Therapy was going well... at least that's what you were told. But the nurses—ugh. That one bitch.

"She did it on purpose," you mumbled, hearing the softest of agreement through the speaker. You knew that if it wasn't against regulation, he'd be sitting next to you, brushing your hair out of the way while you'd tell him your woes. He was that kind of sicko. A doctor, yet fascinated with you, his patient. Even though he merely sat behind the cameras, watching you, you could hear the sickening affection he held for only his favorite patient in every one of his words. 

In a way, he wasn't that different from you.

"You beat her up real good, smashed her face in. Got yourself into a frenzy and just tore open all your stitches from your last fight while you were at it, you really..."

He sighed. He was disappointed. Upset. This was a significant setback for him, too, after all. 

"She called me too stupid to ever recover properly and I was trying this time, really! How else should I have reacted?"

"You could have told me."

"And you would have dealt with her how?"

A brief chuckle rang out before he replied, although, had you been less delirious, you wouldn't have needed to ask. You knew what he did to people who behaved poorly with you. "I would have taken care of her, as always. You know you have my unending support."

You couldn't help a smile creeping over your face, the memory of burying the last nurse who bothered you in the asylum's cemetary resurfacing. Digging out the grave had been hard work, but you had to agree with him that the physical labor did wonders to soothe your ever-agitated mind. 

"You're terrible," you mumbled, unable to hide your smile.

"Ah! There it is! Look at those little dimples! I'm glad my services are appreciated by my darling. I was hoping to take you out on a rendevous once the dust settles. Maybe we can do that sooner than I expected."

"Who'd want that, you sicko."

Groaning, you finally sat up, looking down at the cushioned floor while you adjusted to being awake. Standing took a few attempts; the cushions aligned along the wall, not actually graspable, even if they looked like it. Everything about the solitary cell was so safe, it made you feel helpless. But eventually you managed to get to your wobbly feet, sighing in exhaustion once you stood.

"There you go, breaking my heart," he sighed, and you shook your head with a laugh, knowing he didn't mean it. 

"No straight jacket this time?" you asked, raising your arms and, for the first time since you awoke, realizing your movements were unrestraint.

"You weren't in a condition to restrain you. I prioritized your healing over that awful jacket."

"You just don't like it because it does nothing for my figure."

Again, you heard the grin in his voice as he said, "Busted. You're too cute to walk around constrained. Even though I love how crazy you look with it."

"Sicko..." you mumbled, your nickname for your doctor, endearing only in his ears. 

Your limbs were terribly heavy as you moved them towards the door. Part of you wanted to collapse on the ground again; simply pass out where you were. But knowing him, he'd definitely use the opportunity to take advantage of you, especially now that he could get a video of it. 

You didn't always mind what your doctor did to you. In a way, he was helpful even if everything you two did was against any laws in this country. If anyone knew what you two were getting into when no one was looking, you'd both be put down like rabid dogs. But that's just how you two were—feral.

The sicko kept telling you how he'd get you back on track. How he'd "fix" you just enough so you could go home with him. There was no way you'd consider living with him if you ever did get out. Still, he liked to paint the picture whenever he crawled into your bed while on night duty, hugging you and telling you about his ideas. You told him often enough that, given the chance, you'd kill him outside the safety of this institution, but so far... you hadn't.

You had enough chances, enough people he let you murder, watching you while you did it and helping you to hide the bodies once you were satisfied, but you never once turned the knife on him. Maybe it was because of his studies; perhaps he knew more about you than you about yourself. Or it was because he was just as insane. Fucking your patient in the blood of their victims was definitely not normal, even you knew that. So what other reason could he have for it except insanity? 

"Earth to my darling, I repeat: Are you thirsty?"

You felt the heat spread over your face as you felt called out by his question, almost as if he was reading your mind. It wasn't like you two were lovers. There was no chance in hell you'd get together with someone like him—or anyone for that matter. You didn't want the burden of someone clinging to you while you did your dirty work.

But the sex after releasing all your pent-up anger? Out of this world. 

Perhaps his doctorate was in fucking instead of psychiatry, but he knew how to work every part of his body. And he knew just how to get you in the mood, too. An explosive combination, mixing his lust with your madness.

That didn't change much about your feelings for him, though. 

"I'm not," you muttered, trying to hide your face, which probably showed the embarrassment you felt, thinking of the last romp you two had. You tried the deep breaths again, but the thoughts kept popping back into your mind. Must be the drugs, you thought.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course!" 

His excitement was loud and clear as it rang through the microphone, and you weren't sure if you should smile at it or sneer. For some reason, you both held each other in a tight grip, unable to be separated, yet most likely toxic for each other. But he still got excited over any kind of interest you had in him and you about all the things he did so you could live out your best life—even though you were locked away for a reason. 

"Why me?" you asked, standing in front of the door, not looking up. Even if he was just the voice behind a camera at the moment, somehow, this question left a bad taste in your mouth. You didn't want him to see the conflict on your face; didn't want him to know that you were doubting how deserving you were of his favor. It wasn't insecurity, wasn't a need for reassurance, but how could anyone look at you and think, "That's the one!"? You killed people, went into violent rages, and weren't considered safe enough to be reintegrated into society, probably ever again. There was nothing you had to show for yourself. Nothing that could justify the feeling of adoration your own therapist held for you. Especially not he. He should have been one of the good ones. And you weren't. It made no sense to you why he'd behave like he did.

"Why you what?"

"Why do you like me so much? I mean, come on! I mean, look at us! We're batshit crazy! This isn't some romance movie on television, we're actually doing bad shit, and yet you keep shielding me, doing me favors, telling me you love me. I'm sure there are others out there who you can fix and fuck if you like. It's not like..."

Biting your own tongue, you wondered if it was the new drug combo he tried on you that made you feel especially irritated with his feelings that day. You let him do all this stuff to and with you, but now you were getting weirded out by it? It wasn't like you to get so worked up over him; you were more of the cool type, spitting-in-his-face-type if he pissed you off. You didn't even want to validate his feelings for you, but also... being self-aware enough to know you were a danger to humankind, you couldn't shake the feeling he might just be using you for his own sick desires. And that made you angry again. You'd not be a pawn or a means for no one.

Click

"Wow, okay, you bastard." Your grumbling fell on deaf ears as he turned off the microphone. "Sure, I'm going through something here, but by all means, stop listening. Not like it's your job or anything..."

Unprepared, you jolted back as the door to your cell suddenly yanked open, revealing the pitch-black corridor that lay behind. Apparently, it was late at night, but you couldn't focus on that as your doctor appeared from the shadows, a deep frown etched into his beautiful face. He should have been a model. At least that job wouldn't have led him to meet you.

"Do you doubt me?" he asked, stalking forward, undeterred by the open door, not thinking for a second that you'd try to escape. "Do I need a reason to love you for you to believe it?"

He caught your chin between his fingers, tilting your head back as he matched the steps you were taking backward. Soon, you'd run out of space to back into, but perhaps that was his goal. 

"Can't I just love you because the first time you caved in and told me about the things you went through, things just felt... right? Everything just clicked in my head, and I thought, "Wow, I want to see them happy!" Must there be any other reason for me to love you?"

Your back hit the wall just as his eyes lowered to your lips, his thumb reaching up to brush over them. "I dream about those lips. I can't help but think about you no matter where I go. In the evening, I imagine you curled up on the couch next to me; sometimes, I hear your laugh when you aren't even there. I want that picture-perfect life with you, but the moment I step into your room and see you covered in blood, your eyes showing just how far gone you are, it just..."

He looked up again, his eyes swirling with all the emotions he tried to convey in his words. But when he met your gaze, the color drained, leaving behind what you could only describe as pure, unfiltered madness.

"It drives me insane."

His second hand raised to the side of your face. He cupped your cheek in his palm for a moment, a soft smile creeping over his lips. "I like you like this. Docile, calm, sweet. I like it when you ask me things, I like it when you beg for something. I like it when you only let me do things to you. I want to help you, I do! But..."

His hand sliding down, you looked away, trying to catch it before it slipped around your throat, pressing into it, squeezing so hard you felt as if your head was going to detach from your neck.

"I want to ruin you. I want you worse, I want you deranged. I want you to kill everyone and then me, so I'll be the last of your victims, the only one you remember. I want to be ruined by you so badly that every day, I hope you tell me about yet another staff member we get to kill, and then you can use me to satisfy your needs. Can't you understand? This is love. No one will ever love someone like you, but. I. do. I understand you, I care for you. And I will continue to do so, with no other reason than I love you. I love you so much."

You gasped for air at this point, fingers grabbing his arm. It was hard listening to him, but it was harder to breathe. You knew he wouldn't kill you. This was nothing compared to other things you two did to each other. It stung a little when he said no one else would ever love you, but he was right. Not unless the change everyone expected from you was also something you wanted. 

But why would you?

The pressure on your throat disappeared, only for your breath to be stolen by his kiss. You hated this man. You hated him because he was a little bit too much like you. Too unhinged to be likable. And at the same time, he wasn't at all. He was too supportive, too nice, too forgiving. It disgusted you, honestly. Yet, you reciprocated, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood. Before he could back off, you caught his cheeks in a squeeze between your fingers to draw him back to lick off the red fluid, reminding him he wasn't the deranged one here. 

"Don't question me again about my feelings, please," he asked, out of breath, too, as he bumped his forehead against yours. "I love you, I really do."

"You're a sicko, you know that? And your beard is stinging me, you should shave."

At this, he laughed out loud, raising his head to the ceiling. "I spent three days waiting for you to wake up. You can deal with some stubble."

"No, I don't like it."

Grinning, he lowered his face to you and gave you another peck on the lips. "It's gone tomorrow, I promise."

"Can I go back to my room now?"

He hummed thoughtfully before shaking his head. "Someone's awaiting their punishment still. You really want to miss out on that?"

Now it was your turn to grin as well. "Aww, you shouldn't have! Are we gonna cut up that bitch now? For real?"

"Anything for you," he mumbled, raising your hand to give it a quick smooch. "But let me change your bandages first. I don't want you to accidentally get sepsis if your wounds are still open."

"Surprisingly, you're still a doctor at heart."

"That's not true," he gasped, feigning indignation about your statement.

"Are you not?" you asked, watching him bend down to pick you up, bridal-style even. You weren't mad since your legs felt even weaker than before, and you really wanted to conserve your energy. 

"I'm afraid it's no longer medicine that has claimed my heart."

He looked at you, smiling softly. "It's all you."

"And I can't help but love you more, realizing I am becoming more like you every day."

[httpwintersoldier]

『 think I need someone older. || buggy x reader 』

pairing: buggy x f!reader words: there's many words in here alright! like, many summary: who would've thought that the best thing you'd get out of your relationship would be the guy after it. angst; smut; fluff. ᴄᴡ: ᴛᴏxɪᴄ ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴꜱʜɪᴘ ; ᴘᴜʙʟɪᴄ ꜱᴇxᴜᴀʟ ᴀᴅᴠᴀɴᴄᴇꜱ

"Come on, let's go!"

Buggy stared with an intense look, from the corner of the room, as this drunk looking guy grabbed your arm and dragged you across the bar.

"Stop! Let me go! I haven't finished my shift!"

The man's grip tightened on you and he pulled you close, your noses almost touching from the proximity.

"I told you I don't want you working! Much less in a fucking bar! What, you like all these men looking at you!?"

Your boyfriend spat those words at your through gritted teeth, and you swore his iris shrunk in size giving his eyes more space to express their hatred at disgust towards you.

"Not my circus, not my monkeys. Not my circus, not my monkeys. Not my circus..." Buggy repeated the quote in his head like a mantra as he sipped his beer, reminding himself that the extraneous relationship was none of his business.

And usually he would not mind, other people's predicaments were none of his concern and he didn't care to make them his concern, but you were different.

The Captain had only seen you working at the bar a couple of times and he had found you... pathetic. Smiling at the customers, apologising, actually doing your best and being polite. That showed weakness. You were weak. Weak, and innocent, and pathetic, and someone who would never survive in this world. And for that he wanted you.

Buggy refused to put two and two together, he refused to accept that for once there was someone he wanted to protect instead of hurt - because that would mean that he would have a weakness: you.

It was only when you showed him kindness and respect instead of fear and disgust that the Captain began somewhat welcoming the idea of you.

It had been a terrible day - the crew was hungover and some punks took the chance to ransack the ship - and Buggy just needed a drink. He sat alone on the corner and some pesky, useless waitress set the wrong drink in front of him.

"I should have you killed for your incompetence!" He had dramatically yelled at you.

Instead of pleas or more yelling, his threat was met with a question.

"Why?"

It instantly calmed him down, he had never been questioned on his threats... Sure they had been laughed at, they had been feared... But never questioned.

"Does this look like my order!?" Buggy said, a lot calmer but still showing annoyance as he didn't want you to think you somehow had the power to take away his rage.

"Can't I just replace it, Sir? I can make it on the house if you'd like!"

Buggy left after that, without another word. It effectively made you think that he now hated you and your service, but the fact was his heart beat faster. His heart beat in a way that had only beat before when he was fighting or torturing someone, and the Captain had to sit alone and wonder what it meant - and how he could shoo it away. No one had ever been able to calm him down, let alone make him feel bad for the tone he had used - until you waltzed in the Captains' life with your pretty smile and tight fabrics.

He sat on that same corner that day watching that man mistreat you in front of everyone. The look on your face was one Buggy did not recognize - he was half certain you were incapable of portraying negative emotions, but now it seemed like all of them were flowing through you.

"I-I wanted to get money t-to help you buy that ship you wanted! For your birthday, baby!" You lied, trying to stop your body from shaking.

You wanted some financial independence from that man, you wanted to be able to buy stuff for yourself without having to go by your partner first, or without having to get his approval because "it was his money after all", but you figured a lie would be best.

After that, the man roughly let go of your arm, but your faces remained at the same distance.

"We will discuss your schedules at home." He said in a threatening, low tone and promptly left the bar.

You looked around - the place was never calm, except when there was gossip and drama to pay attention to. Your eyes scanned the room and you laughed nervously.

"It's alright fellas! Apologies for disturbing your night I will get you all a round on the house!"

Cheers echoed the room and it went back to the rowdy environment you knew as you tried your best to excuse yourself to the back where you could breathe.

You left through the door and slid down the brick wall of the alleyway where the staff took their smoke breaks, thanking the gods that it was vacant. Your thighs hit the cold stone floor but you didn't care - at least you could breathe. It felt like there was a boulder on your chest that prevented you the air to leave your lungs and chemicals in your eyes that prevented you from crying up until that point.

The sound heavy boots smacking against the stone echoed in the air, getting closer and closer to you. You assumed it was your manager, and you didn't want to get fired but you couldn't get back inside just yet.

"Sorry, Sir... I will go back in in just a minute." You said, voice muffled from your head being buried in your arms.

Buggy wasn't sure what to say, - he wasn't good at comforting people, not at all - so he just stood there, looking down at you, as if the space around him would freeze to give him enough time to think of the appropriate reply.

When you obtained no reply, you got worried - was you boss that mad that he wouldn't even dignify you with a response?...

You slowly peeled your head from your arms and looked up at the person in front of you, to find the somber clown that sat on the corner of the bar every other day. You immediately stood up and violently wiped the tears from your cheeks and the dirt from your skirt as you tried your best to look presentable.

Buggy's looks towards you were always a mix of very intense emotions that you couldn't decipher, but now they were a lot softer, almost as if he felt sad for you - and honestly you much preferred angst to pity.

The Captain softly grabbed your arm, stopping it from rubbing your skin so violently and potentially damaging something so beautiful.

"I-I'm sorry I will go back in now I didn't mean to disturb the service please let me offer you-"

Your frantic, apologetic rant was cut short by Buggy's voice.

"Why are you with him?"

Your eyes, that previously wandered everywhere but his face, found his gaze.

"Him? Him who? My... boyfriend?"

Buggy just nodded, searching your face for all of the emotions he could gather - they were all negative, and those he was good at.

"I love him." You said dryly, not one ounce of emotion laced in your words.

"You don't. You fear him. People who are feared are not loved, I should know..." The Captain said the last part under a deep inhale.

You were left silent. You were angry and in disbelief that this man that didn't even know you had the gall to make such serious accusations about you and your relationship.

But he was right. And now you knew how painfully obvious it was.

At some point you did love him - your boyfriend would bring you flowers every other week, he would write often, expressing his love, when he needed to sail for work, he would cook intricate dinners and fill the bedroom with roses and gifts in every special date you shared... But once he knew he had you, the man changed completely - a tale as old as time. And your boyfriend knew you held onto the hopes and memories of the past and used it against you, pretending to be the caring man he once was from time to time to keep you around.

"So? Why are you with him?" The Captain asked once more upon being faced with your silence, slowly stepping closer.

You opened your mouth to say something, hoping your brain could scramble together an excuse for being with that man that didn't sound as pathetic as just "nostalgia".

Before you could speak, Buggy placed his index finger on your chin and tilted your head up so you could look into his beautiful, big green eyes. They were hypnotizing, really.

"Exactly." He whispered "There is no reason. So let me take you away."

You widened your eyes.

"Take me away!? Where would you even take me?..."

Buggy chuckled, approaching his face to yours.

"Anywhere, everywhere..." He whispered.

Your face grew hot and the atmosphere around you became tense, this time a completely different feeling filling the air.

"But... why? I thought you disliked me. You know, because of that day... I feel like you've been giving me the stink eye from that corner you sit on ever since."

Buggy let out a short laugh as he took his time to examine every pretty little detail of your face up close.

"Dislike you? I'm crazy about you. The way your fetching eyes twinkle when you smile, the way you sing when you wipe down the bar, the way your dresses fit you..."

Buggy allowed the hand that wasn't on your chin to trail up your body, still remaining far from any places he shouldn't (but wanted to) touch, as his eyes stole a look at your slightly exposed chest.

You were speechless. You hadn't heard someone talk about you with such admiration and love in a long time, but alas, the last time you believed it it lead you to the nightmare you lived in currently.

As you were reminded of such a fact, your eyes filled with tears once more and you stepped back, away from his touch.

"He used to tell me those things too... I've heard all of it. I'm sorry I-I can't trust this act a-and I need to go back to work."

Buggy stayed in his place, not wanting to scare you more than you already were or ruin any potential chance he might've had by being too insistant. In a last effort, he called your name, just as your hand met the cold metal of the door's handle, and you stopped.

"Y/N. You're dating a manchild, he doesn't know what to do with a good woman like you because he's a boy." Upon seeing he had piqued your interest, the Captain stepped closer and leaned to whisper in your ear from behind "Let me show you how a man is supposed to treat a woman such as yourself."

Your heart was thumping in a way you had never felt before, and althought you opened the door and ran inside to stop Buggy from seeing your blush, he knew.

He chuckled, left the alleyway and walked to his ship, letting the proposal sit on your mind.

Unbeknownst to your boyfriend (and to you), that night was crucial. The events of that night would heavily determine if you'd take the Captain up on his offer or not, even if you didn't know it at the time.

Once your shift ended you bid goodbye to the old man that owned the bar and made your way home, hands in the pockets of your heavy coat and smoke coming out of your mouth with every breath from the cold night air.

"Hey!" You greeted once you closed the door of your home.

You removed your coat and put on the best fake smile you could muster as you ealked over to your boyfriend whom sat on the dinner table drinking some sort of ale that he had brought from work.

"Good news honey!" The man said, standing up and wrapping his arms around your waist.

"What is it?" You asked with hope in your voice that, for once, the good news would benefit you as well.

"The man who handles the money down at the bar you work for is an old pal of mine, I talked to him and he can send the money directly to our house so I can keep it safe! So no need to wait for it on pay day anymore, I can just put it directly towards my ship like we wanted!"

Your boyfriend kept talking, but you had stopped listening halfway through. Your heart was beating way too fast for you to focus, and the ringing in your ears became too loud for you to hear.

He decided what you did, what you bought, what you wore, where you went... The smallest, tiniest bit of freedom you had was taken away. Everything was taken away.

There was no escape. Anywhere you went, anything you did... no escape.

Except... the Captain. He had offered you an escape. The clown had practically opened the door to freedom for you.

Or maybe not, maybe you'd just be walking into a different type of captivity, but something in your head and in your heart told you Captain Buggy was different. Maybe it was the sweet words or the twinkle in his eyes that were shining with something other than the possessiveness you had always been used to, something like care, or admiration even.

You placed your hands in your boyfriend's chest, slowly peeling yourself away from the hold he had on you as the fake smile faded into visible panic and anxiety. You had to make a decision, and you had to make it fast.

Before your head could process anything and before your mouth could protest his decision, your body turned to the door and your legs started running.

You didn't even know what Captain Buggy's ship looked like, you just ran to the docks in hopes that it would somehow work out for you.

As expected, the man you once loved ran after you, screaming, cursing and threatening all the way to the docks.

You had a considerable distance from him, and, thankfully, Buggy's flags with red-nosed skull made it easy for you to find the ship - although it wasn't needed.

When you looked behind you to make sure you kept said distance from your (ex-)boyfriend, you bumped into someone. The person didn't let you fall, however - he wrapped an arm around your waist, keeping you as steady as possible.

"Get your fucking hands off her, clown!" Your boyfriend said in a tone that made it seem like he was frothing at the mouth - he might as well have been.

When you looked up to identify your saviour, you smiled in relief to find Buggy, tears welling in your eyes from the previous anxiety and panic that finally dawned on you. His piercing green eyes stared at your boyfriend menacingly, and had you not known how much the man wanted you, you too would have been scared of the expression painted on his face.

"Watch your tone, boy, and then leave." The Captain warned.

"I won't watch-"

Buggy didn't allow your partner to finish the sentence, he detached the hand that didn't hold onto you and wrapped it around the other man's neck, throwing him against a wall with enough strenght to knock him out.

As the hand came back to its place, Buggy looked down at you adoringly.

"I take it you accept my proposal, princess?"

You tried to bite back the smile, but to no avail.

"I do accept it. But!" Buggy leaned down ever so slightly, showing the most interest in whatever condition you had decided to set "If you ever scream at me I will leave you."

Buggy's smile stretched wide, and he pressed kisses all over your face.

"Oh my dear princess, my beautiful, beautiful treasure... If I ever so much as annoy you feel free to shoot me dead."

You grinned and slapped his chest.

"Don't be dramatic!" You said and giggled, unable to contain how giddy he made you, how he made you feel a way you hadn't ever felt, not even at the peak of your ex-boyfriend's supposed love.

You yelped and wrapped your arms around Buggy's neck as he picked you up bridal style to take you to his ship.

Some wolf whistles were heard as he walked through the ship carrying you, forcing you to hide your face in the crook of his neck out of embarrassment, but they were quickly shut up by the stern, disapproving look on the Captain's face.

You lifted your head and opened your eyes when he placed you down on the creaky wooden floor. You looked around to find a somewhat messy and dark room. There was a single, not-so-spacious bed that was unmade against the wall in front of you and under the porthole of the room, an old, tall dresser and a big desk with papers (that you assumed were maps) and random jewelry scattered across it were to your left and to your right was an worn out couch with questionable stains. A pair of boots as well as various items of clothing were by the corner of the room.

Buggy hissed and placed his hands on his hips as he looked around the mess in his bedroom.

"Yeah... I didn't acutally expect any company..." The Captain said, obvious embarrassment in his voice.

You giggled and picked up some of the clothes forgotten in the corner of the room.

"That's okay, I'm a little messy sometimes!" You tried your best to make him feel more comfortable about the state of his room as you folded his clothes.

"No, no, no! What are you doing? Don't trouble yourself!" Buggy panicked, holding your hands to stop you from doing any housework.

"Just trying to help you out a little! You know, as a thank you..." Your voice got a little shaky as the memory of the wave of emotions that had overcome you just minutes ago hit once more.

"A thank you for what? My own crew gives me a harder time than that little... sample of a man. He's a weak man, it was no trouble." The Captain assured, basically pleading you to lay down and rest.

You couldn't help but smile, a victorious smile, more than anything. Your now ex-boyfriend was prideful in his strenght and (supposed) fighting skill, no one really fought him, and when they did he'd unfortunately come out on top most times, but to hear Buggy speak of him in such a way and describe him as if he were but an annoying fly waiting to be swatted... it felt like victory. Imagining him pathetically limping back home and wallowing in his own self pity was nothing short of a dream come true.

"A thank you for rescuing me, Captain."

Buggy thought he was feeling sick, from the way his heart beat and his face heat up. He couldn't speak or think straight, for a second he thought it was a stroke or something of the sort.

The man stood in the same place, watching you fold his clothes neatly and fluff the pillows of the couch before moving to (try to) help you. He did his best to organize all the maps in the desk as he pushed the jewelry into a drawer with a detached foot.

By the time he had properly rolled up the maps and put them in their proper place, you had already finished the remaining parts of the room.

"You did well! That looks good!" You said, walking up behind him.

Buggy felt a strange wave of pride hit him. Like no other accomplishment he had previously achieved mattered, because this was the only one the Captain had complimented you on. The man did his best to wipe the stupid smile off of his face but there was no hiding how obsessed he was with you and everything you did.

Your tired yawn snapped him out of his trance, and his big green eyes looked at you in worry.

"Are you tired? You must be tired... Just..." Buggy walked to over to the dresser and took a big, warm blanket from it, handing it to you "Take the bed, you should get some sleep."

You held the thick blanket in your arms as you saw the man try his best to fluff the pillows and make the bed comfortable for you. You didn't know how to react to this much care and attention, you felt undeserving of it.

"Y/N? Shit, are you okay? Did I go overboard? Did I do too much!?" You didn't realize how fast you were breathing until Buggy brought it to your attention, and before long there were two panicked people in the room not knowing what to do for two completely different reasons.

The clown had never liked someone as much as he liked you, and you had never had anyone like you as much as he did. It was comical, really, although at the time it didn't feel like it, it was just the purest image of two fools falling in love.

"I-I don't want you to be uncomfortable because of me, that is all- I can take the floor." You said, trying to stabilize your voice as much as possible.

"Oh princess, I've been thrown around by people my whole life, I've gotten pieces of me stuck in boxes and I've been used as a punching bag, sleeping in the couch instead of the bed is no trouble at all... I didn't bring you to my ship just to have you sleep on the floor, that is an absolute no." The Captain said with a small smile, carefully cupping your cheek.

He could tell from your face that you weren't satisfied with the solution, even if the man guaranteed you he'd be comfortable.

"What if... we share the bed? If you don't mind..." You suggested, unable to look him in the eye.

Buggy's body tensed and heat up at the thought of the both of you pressed up against each other in the small bed, and he tried his very best to not seem like a creepy pervert, but the thoughts in his head seemed to have other plans.

"Uh sure... Yeah, that works." He blurted out, like an awkward teenager trying to seem cool and uninterested after a long silence.

You loosened your corset and set it neatly next to your shoes, as you removed the hairband that tried its best to keep your hair in place during your shifts at the bar.

Buggy turned his back to you, feeling like he was somehow invading your privacy even though you hadn't asked him to look away.

The man removed his jacket, boots and belt as well, trying to get more comfortable. Usually both you and him would sleep in less clothing, but for the sake of decency and modesty (which Buggy had apparently adhered to exclusively for you) you decided against it.

When you turned around, Buggy was removing his bandana, and your eyes widened as his blue hair extended down to his lower back.

"Woah..."

Buggy turned around to face you, confused, as you softly grabbed a strand of his hair.

Once he saw your eyes shining as you looked at his long blue locks he smiled - a mix of confidence about his hair, and shyness about the way you looked at him.

"You like it? I kinda forget people don't really know how long my hair is."

"It's beautiful..." Your voice was soft as you ran your hand along his (surprisingly) soft and shiny hair, almost as if you were afraid to scare him away.

"Not nearly as beautiful as you. Not even close. Nothing has even been or will ever be as beautiful as you are." The words were caught in Buggy's throat, more than anything, he was afraid that his feelings and constant thoughts of your alluringness would scare your off, so those words were replaced by the suggestion of going to sleep.

Buggy let you lay first, closer to the wall so you wouldn't fall off the bed if you happened to move as you slept. The Captain then laid next to you, very happy about the lack of space the bed offered.

You both had to lay on your side, your back pressed against his chest. You'd be lying if you said you'd disliked the proximity - his body was warm and you felt protected as his toned chest heaved up and down against you and his muscly arm draped mindlessly over your waist.

You didn't want to move, but your leg became numb after some time. You shifted in your place slightly to make it more comfortable, only to feel a strong hand grip your hips in place almost instantly.

"Careful." Buggy's low and raspy voice whispered, almost as if warning you about some danger.

And there was a danger indeed. Having your body so close to his was torture enough, but if you so much as shifted in place you'd be rubbing yourself against him - and the clown wasn't sure how far this newfound restraint could go.

"Sorry..." You apologised, thinking your movements had woken him up.

"Don't be..." He mumbled and buried his face in the crook of your neck, taking in your perfume.

Weeks went by from that day, and the two of you got to know each other intimately, but Buggy was hard to read. There were times where it seemed you were the light of his day and the reason for him to breathe, but there were others where your image seemed to be the Captain's worst nightmare.

It all came to a climax on a day where Buggy was having a particular hard time coming face to face with his feelings.

"Buggy!? What is wrong with you!?"

"Stop fucking following me around!"

You didn't understand the sudden shift in behaviour, but quite honestly neither did he.

The Captain was obviously not used to having feelings, nevermind dealing with them. He didn't know what to do or how to behave, all he knew was that he wanted you in an obsessive, animalistic way. Everything Buggy did, every step he took... You were on his mind. You were a constant. He couldn't stop thinking of your smile, of your voice, of your smell, of your body...

It was driving him insane, and most of all, it was driving him insane the fact that he didn't know what to do, so he just did what he knew how to do best: get angry and lash out.

Buggy was a master of self-sabotage, and as he yelled at you he knew very well that he was making a mistake, almost as if the real Captain was inside, screaming, banging and begging his body to stop betraying him, but he couldn't.

"Don't raise your voice at me!" You yelled with tears in your eyes.

"Or what!?" Buggy challenged, his voice raspy from yelling, as he finally turned around to face you.

His face showed anger and disgust, but his eyes conveyed a completely different message, one of sorrow and regret.

You looked at the desk next to the man, where his gun was. You grabbed it and, pulling the safety trigger, placed the barrel between his eyes.

"If I ever so much as annoy you, feel free to shoot me dead." You said, repeating Buggy's speech the night he had brought you to the ship "You're annoying me. You're making me angry, actually, which is arguably worse."

"Then shoot me."

If there was something you'd learned in your previous relationship, was to read emotions beyond words. You could see it in Buggy's eyes, it was obvious... He didn't mean what he was saying, he didn't mean to act this way. It didn't hurt any less to know he didn't mean it, but you at least wanted to know...

"Why?"

"Shoot me." Buggy repeated, his voice shaking every so slightly as your question had caused him to face everything he had been avoiding.

"Why." You asked once more, adamantly this time.

Buggy threw his hands up in frustration and groaned, taking a violent step closer to you.

"Because you're all I think about! Day and night, I can't stop thinking about you. There isn't a single thing that occupies my mind other than you. You are all that I've ever needed and all that I've ever wanted and you change me I-I'm different around you and I'm vulnerable and I'm scared!" The Captain was screaming like a madman getting tortured, fighting the side that wanted to shut you out and walk away and the side that wanted him to fall to his knees, beg for mercy and confess his love for you. He knew what he felt, even though he desperately tried to ignore it, but saying it out loud made it... real.

The gun made a loud sound that echoed in the room when you let it fall by your feet, so you could cup both his cheeks.

"Buggy... Why would you be scared? Have I done something to you that made you feel like you can't trust me?"

The man slowly wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you close. He dipped his head, resting his forehead on your shoulder. You wrapped your arms around him tightly - you knew, after the short time you had spent together, that that was how he seeked some sort of comfort, Buggy turned into a little kid sometimes, that needed support and reassurance, and that was his way of asking for it.

"I don't want to leave you, Buggy, you've been good to me. But you can't treat me like this..."

"I'm... I'm sorry." His voice was shaky, a couple sobs here and there, and muffled from his head being buried in your shoulder "I trusted one person, once and he... betrayed me. And I didn't like him as much as I like you, not even close. I'm scared... Please don't leave me, I'm sorry for what I said, I'm sorry for yelling at you, I'm-"

You shut him up by lifting his head and giving him a kiss. It was simple and no longer than five seconds, but you'd both swear the world was spinning and fireworks were going off.

Buggy's big, green, teary eyes were staring at you when you pulled away. Once he processed what happened, the Captain grabbed your face and brought it close for another kiss. And then another, and another, and another - until he was out of breath from kissing and you were out of breath from giggling.

"I'm forgiven?" The man asked, still holding your face.

"You are forgiven, Buggy. I'd never, ever hurt you. And if I do, you can shoot me dead." You said, mimicking his speech.

He laughed and kissed you once more, a slower, deeper kiss.

"You're crazy, you know that?" Buggy asked, running his hand through your hair.

"We can be crazy together..." You replied, your eyes looking between his eyes and lips as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

"That sounds like a plan I can get behind..." His voice trailed into a whisper as his head leaned to the side, the space between their lips slowly closing.

What started out as another innocent kiss gradually developed into a heated mess of tongues and saliva. Surprisingly, Buggy was very vocal, and there was no telling if it was the thigh between your legs or his needy whimpers that turned you on more, but you were sure feeling a different type of heat spread through your body.

You two pulled away from the kiss. His makeup was messy, some of it smeared on your face, his lips were red and plump from the biting and his hungry eyes searched your face.

"Please... can I fuck you?" His needy, whimpery and hushed voice nearly made your knees falter.

It was pathetic how he could ask you anything in that tone and you'd fall to your knees and you'd comply.

"Do it. Please do it Buggy, fuck me."

His hands trailed down to grip your ass with force, bringing your crotch to press against his. You felt his very hard cock press against you as he laughed in a raspy voice.

"Careful."

Those words were familiar... When you two slept together the first night... He wasn't angry you'd woken him up! He was warning you because he was horny.

You playfully traced his jawline with your nail.

"Do you worst." You whispered in his ear, teasing him.

Buggy pushed you to lay down on the bed. One of his knees pushed your legs open as his hand found your clothed pussy under your skirt. The Captain's lips paid attention to your neck as you slowly pulled his shirt up and over his head to claw at his back.

You were used to being the one doing all the work, so the amount of attention he gave you felt overwhelming - a very good type of overwhelming.

"Buggy- that feels good... So good..." You moaned.

Buggy chuckled as he kissed the red spots of skin on your neck he had kissed and sucked. His lips approached your ear and he softly bit your earlobe.

"I'm going to show you how a real man fucks."

The Captain's index finger hooked on the front of your panties and slowly brought them down. Two of his fingers ran along your exposed folds and his eyes widened. He brought them up to his face and separated them, showing you how they glistened with your juices.

"Already?" He paused and chuckled "I'm going to have fun."

Buggy placed his hands on your hips and flipped you two around, sitting you on his waist.

"Take it all off." The man said, gesturing to your clothes "And then sit on my face."

You had began to unbutton your blouse, but you stopped and blushed.

"I- I don't want to hurt you, maybe we could-"

You yelped as one of his hands came into contact with your ass harshly.

"I don't care if you suffocate me. Sit. On. My. Face."

You bit your lip and nodded, obeying his orders.

Buggy groaned and cursed under his breath as your pieces of clothing slowly came off one by one, and as your pussy hovered over his face, he swore he could've cum from the sight alone.

When you didn't fully lay your body weight on him, Buggy wrapped his arms around your thighs and pulled your cunt down onto his face.

"Shit!" You shrieked and gripped his hair in your hands as your hips started moving along to the movements of his tongue.

"So this is what it's supposed to feel like-" You tought, too intoxicated in pleasure to blurt out anything that wasn't a moan.

Buggy's groans sent a different (yet very good) feeling through your body, and it only left you craving for more. You wanted him to keep going, but you wanted more, you needed more - as much as he could give you.

"More- please- I need more Buggy- I need you to fuck me." You begged between whimpers and sighs.

Buggy took his sweet time finishing his business, too pussy drunk to give it up immediately as you asked. Once he managed to peel himself away from between your legs, one of his strong arms wrapped around you and flipped you both.

His lips were quick to attatch to yours, and you could taste yourself in the Captain's tongue.

One of your hands cupped his face as the other worked on the zipper of his pants. Once you were able to slide your hand inside, you weren't surprised to find he was a fan of going commando.

Buggy pulled away and whined when you gripped his hard cock and swiped your thumb along the slit. His eyebrows were furrowed in pleasure and he was breathing hard.

"Do you want me to suck your cock, baby?" You asked, your voice dripping in fake innocence which caused him to chuckle.

Buggy kissed you softly.

"I'd love to princess, but I won't last. And I really want to fuck you."

"Then fuck me, Captain."

In one swift and quick move, Buggy placed the tip of his cock in your entrance and pushed inside of you, filling you up to the brim with his shaft.

His movements were smooth and proficient - it was almost as if his cock was made for you.

Your fingernails dug into Buggy's biceps, making him whine a little louder as his hips snapped against yours and his lips left small bites and open-mouth kisses wherever they could reach.

The Captain tried to be gentle with his touch, but he was so desperate for your body... it was nearly impossible. His fingers squeezed your sides, your ass and your thighs - he was in love with every curve of your body.

"You feel good... So good..." You admitted, breathlessly.

"Do I? Say my name."

"Buggy-" You moaned.

"Louder! I want them all to hear you."

"Buggy!" You yell-whimpered, as his cock hit a particular spot inside of you.

"That's right princess..." The clown bent over to bite your neck "This is what real cock feels like, from someone who knows how to fuck."

His whimpers and moans were sent straight to your pussy, who seemed to pulsate harder whenever his mouth hung open and the sinful sounds left past his lips.

Buggy seemed to read your mind: as you felt a nice feeling bubble up inside of you, one of his fingers sneaked between your bodies and rubbed your clit - a firm yet soft touch.

"I'm gonna need you to cum for me pretty, 'cause I can't last much longer with you squeezing me like that." Buggy confessed, looking down at his cock disappearing inside of you.

"Almost... I'm almost..." You breathlessly told him.

Buggy mantained his movements, working his hips and fingers until your back arched and your toes curled. The Captain had seen many places, many views and many people, but nothing came close to the beauty of your face when you climaxed, yelling his name.

The clown's mouth hung open, his brows furrowed and he moaned as he pulled out and came on your stomach, the hot cum splattering in different places.

"Guess I gotta clean up..." You said with a giggle.

Buggy looked up at you, with the mischiveous grin you'd learned to love and bent down. His tongue swiped across your abdomen, collecting every last drop of cum. He then pressed his lips against yours, dumping his cum into your mouth.

"There," The Captain said, stroking your red cheek "all cleaned up."

You could only giggle and press another kiss to his lips, as you shifted your positions so you could drape your leg over him and lay your head on his chest.

The two of you closed your eyes, his hand playing with your hair as you listened to his heartbeat.

"If you ever raise your voice at me again I will actually shoot you."

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

for the ask post, I wish you'd write a fic for a part 2 for no longer yours to keep. I think it would be sweet if they did poly but maybe it takes Garrick a bit to warm up for the fact but still sees that Xaden cares for reader also

The second part to this piece

Warning: blood, nudity

You wouldn’t go back to the first month of rage ever. You wished it never happened in the first place. But then maybe it was inevitable. So many things were changing and as strong as both of them were, bonding a dragon had taken a toll on them too. You had managed to hide it for a couple of weeks. Fighting the urge to find comfort in Xaden. You had chosen to ignore him but that had only caused you more physical pain.

“What’s wrong?”, Garrick had pulled you aside after you practically got choked on the training mat because you were too sloppy. “It’s nothing”, you muttered as you had for days. By now looking in his eyes had gotten too much. “Quit that, love. We don’t hide shit from each other”, his tone was harsher, slicing bits of your heart off as guilt slammed into you.

You raised your teary eyes at him. Garrick’s face softened instantly, “What is it? What’s hurting?”, his hands gently reached for you as he looked you over. “Promise me you will not act on it”, you muttered. But there it was. That stoney, killer like wall, “Then don’t give me a reason to kill someone”, he said through gritted teeth, “Spill it out”.

“I bonded a mated dragon”, you whispered. Garrick simply looked at you with a shrug, “And?”. You swallowed thickly. Knowing that this might as well be the last time he’s looking at you. “Mated to Xaden’s dragon”, you muttered, “Meaning that we are also…”, “No”, Garrick hissed, “Bullshit”. You closed your eyes, trying to keep yourself calm. “It wasn’t my choice, I only felt it when I saw him after”, you heard Garrick inhaling sharply.

“That was two weeks ago”, it was a cold, calculated kind of answer, “You knew for two weeks and didn’t think of telling me?”. He hissed stepping closer to you. Towering over you. “I didn’t want to lose you”, you hiccuped. “Fuck that, have you been sneaking around too?”, his hand found your neck, making you look up at him. Even against his grip you managed to shake your head. “I couldn’t, I told him that I would not let him interfere”, you cried out, trying to reach out for him, but Garrick batted your hands off.

“You fucking…”, he called out right as the back room yanked open and the room went pitch black. “Careful how you speak to her”, a voice hissed. A voice so familiar. As if from the depths of your soul. And suddenly you were slumped against the wall. Glimpsing up to find Xaden pinning Garrick against the wall. “You selfish fuck, why do you always insert yourself in situations where you’re not needed”, Garrick hissed, shoving Xaden off. Both males growled, reaching for their daggers.

You jumped to your feet quickly. Pushing between them right as they lunged forward at one another. Both of their daggers nicking your arms, drawing blood. They both stilled at the same time. Metal clanked to the floor as they reached for it. Both assess the damage. “Look what you did”, Garrick hissed. “If you weren’t a selfish bastard”, Xaden bit back. You grasp both of their hands in yours, silently pleading with them for a heartbeat, before muttering a broken, “Please”.

The memory is still painful enough to jolt you up from your sleep. But as much as you want to move and get up, you can feel the weight of arms pressing down on you. Bringing ease and comfort into your bones. Chasing the anxiety away. “You should be sleeping”, a low voice muffles from the left side of you. Sending warmth soaring through your body. “So should you”, you mutter, suddenly not trusting your voice. “Garrick is snoring”, Xaden huffed, and even in the dark you could make out his sharp features. The strength that he possessed lay down for you to see. “Oh you poor baby”, you chirped at him, brushing your palm over his chest. Xaden wasted no time pulling you closer to him, “I would tickle the hell out of you if he was awake”, both of your eyes trailed towards the male sleeping on the right side of the bed. While they had grasped the hang of loving you loudly. Whatever kindled between them was mellow for a passing glance. But they made up with gestures of care.

“You’re thinking about us”, Xaden stated after a moment of silence. “How do you… Never mind”, you shook your head, reaching to pull the blanket over Garrick’s shoulders higher. Xaden’s fingers ran up and down your bare back. “You two are doing okay?”, his voice was much more gentle this time. After the loss of temper and the idea of an open relationship between you three was on the table you and Xaden had practically clawed at each other at any moment you two had. Your dragons had happily joined the frenzy. That had made Garrick pull back. You doubted that it was his ego that had been bruised considering the nights you two had shared. It was more the act of letting go fully that had frightened him. You two had been each other’s strength for years.

“We’re okay. Went on a date yesterday. It was nice”, you smiled slightly thinking back to the evening you two shared. “Reminded me of the old times and it was…”, you stopped yourself from regretting the words that were seconds away from slipping through your lips. “Just you two. I get it”, the gentle brush of his fingers stilled as he focused on the ceiling.

You shifted slightly, moving beneath the sheets to drape your leg over his hips as you moved to straddle him. You were able to open your mouth but Xaden beat you to it. “Do you think you both will forgive me for my poor choice of when I was younger and left you by?”, the old wounds cracking open. You sighed, leaning in to press a couple of loving kisses across his chest, “Have you forgiven yourself?”, and somehow your words had hit Xaden harder than a no could have ever hit. “Not to mention that you had time to come clean after”, Garrick’s groggy voice sounded through the room. “Ger…”, you breathed out, not wanting this night to turn into yet another fight. “He’s right I should have made it up to you both”, Xaden admitted.

“Make it up to me with kisses now”, you leaned it brushing your nose against his. And while Xaden let out a low chuckle, Garrick only grunted, “You’re letting him off the hook too easily”. You pulled back, exposing your bare body to the two males. Not that they haven’t seen every inch of you already. “Can I win you both over like this”, you smirked, biting your lip. Garrick reached for your hand pulling you towards him, “You’re playing dirty, vixen”, he mused as his lips brushed against yours. You felt Xaden’s palms tightening over your hips, “She sat on me first”, he mussed pulling you away from Garrick, seating your right back against his hips. “Suddenly, I’m not in the mood to share”, Garrick growled at Xaden, who only smirked, “Suddenly, I’m in the mood for a challenge”.

[halucynator]

hii love, could you write a mattheo riddle x reader fic based on the song someone will love you better by Johnny Orlando where reader and her bf (maybe Draco? Idk you can choose) fall out of love and reader falls for mattheo instead. Draco realises this and breaks up with them so they can get with Mattheo. thanks!

Someone will love you better

Hope this is to your liking xx

Part 2

Pairing: Mattheo Riddle x fem!reader/draco malfoy x fem!reader? (ish)

Summary: draco and reader fall out of love as draco realises the reader fell in love with mattheo.

A/n: The red italic writing are the lyrics xx the green text is extra stuff I put in because it felt smarter to do that than pile it all up at the top. It's kinda long xx idk the word count bc I have no idea how to figure it out bc I'm an idiot help pls 😭 I'm kinda happy with how this turned out :))

Warning: angst angst angst, kissing, unrequited love, shouting (kinda), mention of periods, not proof read, lmk if I missed any

Reader is Slytherin bc let's be honest draco prolly wouldn't date anyone who wasn't whether it was because of his father or just him. Theo and reader are best friends.

You and your friends were in the Slytherin common room. It was pretty much empty apart from some other students that lingered there. Your head was on Draco's lap. Just like everyday. Except the feelings weren't the same anymore. The spark was gone. The butterflies that you used to feel every single time his skin made contact with yours, even if it was an accidental touch, were gone.

You'd known Draco ever since you were in year 3 and you'd fallen in love with him ever since. So of course when Draco asked you out, you said yes.

It was perfect.

It was the greatest romance that sent a lightning strike to your heart.

(The orange text is an alteration I made in the lyrics to suit the text. )

Your mind that used to be on Draco was now occupied with thoughts of a certain brunette boy.

Where did it go, you asked yourself. We would slow dance, in the headlights in the parking lot, you told yourself, reminiscing the good times you had with Draco.

But as Draco held your waist now, all you could feel was guilt. There was no chance of ever falling apart. But you've noticed, that I'm here but I'm so far. Those were the thoughts that clouded your mind as you stared into the blonde boy's eyes.

You hoped he didn't realise. But sooner or later you'd have to tell him.

"Theo I have to tell Draco! I can't bear lying to him anymore." You told your best friend, Theodore, as you burst into his dorm. He was the only one who knew about your crush on Mattheo and also your best friend. He'd figured it out by himself, but in all fairness, you didn't shut up about Mattheo around him.

"Are you crazy?! Just yesterday Draco was going on about how loyal and perfect you were for him! You should've done it sooner! You can't drop that bombshell on him now! You have to wait!" Theo said, calmly. (im sorry I had to)

"But I've been running from the sun but I've got nowhere left to hide. Every night, I close my eyes and wish I was still in love. Trying to fight at war with my mind, it's gonna kill me to give him up. He's eventually gonna find out!" You reasoned.

ﾟ+*:;;:* *:;;:*+ﾟﾟ+*:;;:* *:;;:*+ﾟﾟ+*:;;:* *:;;:*+ﾟﾟ+*:;;:*

"Hello love." Draco exclaimed as he saw you enter the great hall.

Your heart was heavy. You didn't want to hurt him, but the truth would be better than emotionally cheating on him, and, eventually, physically cheating on him.

Darling this is gonna hurt. No, I won't regret it. 'cause I loved you first, but someone will love you better. You repeated those words inside your head as you looked into his eyes trying to console yourself that you were doing the right thing telling him the truth.

"Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?" Draco asks you, looking at you with lovesick eyes.

You blushed slightly. Draco was known to be mean to people, so, him giving you the special treatment made it hurt even more to tell him the truth.

You share a "I can't do this" look with Theo. As a response, Theo gives you a "I told you so" look which makes you roll your eyes.

You look at Draco and the following words fill your head:

Last time I hold you, just cause you needed heart to console you, when I can't give you reasons.

Draco goes to hold your hand seeing that you looked nervous. His touch makes you tense up. You hope he doesn't notice. But he does. He noticed the time you rejected his kisses which you used to love. He noticed the time you were in a hurry to leave. He noticed everything despite your efforts in hiding them.

ﾟ+*:;;:* *:;;:*+ﾟﾟ+*:;;:* *:;;:*+ﾟﾟ+*:;;:* *:;;:*+ﾟﾟ+*:;;:*

You went to your dorm early as the rest of your group stayed in the Slytherin common room. You weren't, however, aware of the conversation that happened after.

"I think there's something wrong with y/n" Draco says, not realising how passive aggressive that statement sound. Everyone one in the common room stared at him. Only then did he realise how wrong that statement sounded.

"I mean like- like she isn't feeling well." Draco corrects.

"Why's that?" Pansy asks.

"Well, she flinches at my touch and refuses my kisses!" Draco responds.

"I think there might just be something wrong with you." Lorenzo states matter-of-factly.

Pansy smacks his arm.

"ow!" Lorenzo exclaims.

"Anyways, it's clear she's not in love with you anymore." Pansy says.

"OR she's just tired or sick. Or maybe she's- she's on her period!" Theo says trying to make up an excuse to save your ass.

"You're not wrong." Pansy replies. "Us girls do tend to get mood swings on periods."

"You should read her mind. You know since you're a legilimens." Lorenzo suggests.

"That's not a bad idea." Draco says.

"NO- I mean, no. That's idea sucks. You're violating her privacy." Theo replies.

"I guess but you gotta do what you gotta do." Pansy says.

Theo couldn't say anything anymore in the fear of them getting suspicious.

ﾟ+*:;;:* *:;;:*+ﾟﾟ+*:;;:* *:;;:*+ﾟﾟ+*:;;:* *:;;:*+ﾟﾟ+*:;;:*

"Hate that love can be a thing you lose. There's nothing him or I could do. We were fools to fall! And it's nobody's fault, no." You barged into Theo's dorm yet again.

"Good to see you too." Theo said, scared by your entrance and slightly frustrated at the lack of introduction or even permission.

You death stare him annoyed at his priorities.

"Anyways, you should break up with him" Theo says, noticing your death stare and being slightly intimidated.

"Well, yeah! No shit Sherlock! But it's too fucking hard. He's making it too fucking hard!" You exclaim.

"if you're not going to break up with him, you could atleast pretend to be in love with him" Theo says.

"what?" You ask raising an eyebrow.

"he's suspicious. says you refuse his kisses and flinch at his touch."

You stand there silent, not realising how Draco paid extreme attention to detail.

Fuck. This was bad.

ﾟ+*:;;:* *:;;:*+ﾟﾟ+*:;;:* *:;;:*+ﾟﾟ+*:;;:* *:;;:*+ﾟﾟ+*:;;:*

You woke up the next day and entered the Great Hall. You walked over to your friends. That's when you noticed the looks on everyone's faces.

Theodore gave you a worried look. Disappointment plastered Draco, Blaise and Pansy's face. And Mattheo had a... shocked look on his face?

Draco hit you with the classic "we need to talk."

Was he going to break up with you? You felt sad but if he was then you wouldn't have to feel guilty about breaking up with him. You wondered what the reason could be.

Draco and you walked out of the Great Hall and into the barely filled corridor.

"What's wrong?" You asked. Anticipation hung in the atmosphere.

"Why didn't you tell me." Draco said. It sounded like a statement more than a question.

"what?"

"that you like my cousin, Mattheo."

Your breath caught in your throat. He knew. But how? Your mind wandered to a certain chestnut haired boy. No, he wouldn't. Theodore would never.

"how did you-"

"it doesn't matter."

"yes it does! Who told you?" You asked feeling betrayed, but by no one in particular.

"I found out myself. I- I read your mind."

"What?! Do you know how violating that is?" You asked half-shouting.

"Well, I am so sorry that you aren't satisfied with me! I had to find out why you were acting weird!" Draco says, joining in on the shouting.

Guilt clouded your mind.

"Look, Draco i- I've been running from the sun but I've got nowhere left to hide. Every night I close my eyes and wish I was still in love. Trying to fight at war with my mind, it's gonna kill me to give you up!" You begun. "Darling this is gonna hurt. No, I won't regret it. Because I loved you first. But someone will love you better"

It felt good to tell him the truth, but that feeling was replaced by guilt when you say the look on Draco's face.

"I loved you. I can't control who you love but I really did try my best." Draco said, his voice cracking.

"lt wasn't your fault." You replied. "it was mine. I am sorry. I hope we can be friends."

No response. Ouch, that hurt.

"Does Mattheo know?" You asked Draco.

He nodded.

Your cheeks flushed. Mattheo knew. To say you were embarrassed would be an understatement.

ﾟ+*:;;:* *:;;:*+ﾟﾟ+*:;;:* *:;;:*+ﾟﾟ+*:;;:* *:;;:*+ﾟﾟ+*:;;:*

Thanks for reading! I prolly will make a part 2 x lmk if I should xx hope you enjoyed reading it 💞

Also if anyone can tell me how to establish word count, it will be a huge help! I feel stupid lmao.

[grievedeeply]

Can I request a Cal x reader, where they were both working for Saw but got split up during the job on Coruscant. So we know that in rogue one Saw was hanging out on Jedha, so what if reader is out in the descent hearing to Saw’s place but runs into Cal instead? Idk I just need some Cal in my life. Thank you so much 💜

i'm loving all of these cal requests!!! this is such a cute idea :") hope you enjoy!

gn!reader | tws: death, SPOILERS FOR THE BEGINNING OF JEDI SURVIVOR + JOIN MY NEW TAGLIST!!!

you're here, we're here — cal kestis

you wondered if working for saw gererra was the right thing to do. of course, he fought for something bigger than himself, but you knew of the consequences of this sort of thing. if you were to be captured by the empire, you'd be killed. they'd keep it quiet, but you knew your death would come swift if the imperials were to get their hands on you.

you were scared of death. wasn't everyone, to some extent? you wondered what the afterlife would hold for you. was there even an afterlife at all? the act of dying wasn't what scared you, not really. it was mostly leaving those you loved behind. gabs, the twins, bravo. you met them all through saw gererra, and that was your favorite part about working for him. the people. their kindness and generosity, their determination to make the galaxy a better place. not just for themselves but for everyone around them. it was good to see something other than hate and cruelty remained.

they were your family.

until they weren't.

the job on coruscant had gone horribly wrong, in the end. what was supposed to be a simple extraction of information turned into a firefight.. and before you knew it, more than half of your squad was gone. in the confusion, you'd gotten split up from cal, bode and bravo, and you could only assume they were all dead, too.

lately, saw had been hanging out on jedha. even before your mission, he had started setting up some operations there despite the ever growing imperial presence.

so.. you returned to jedha completely empty handed, and down an entire team. your family. gabs, the twins.. you watched them die, struck down like they were nothing. they had names, they had lives and friends and they were loved. but no one understood that. all the empire saw was insurgency. all that inquisitor saw was cal, the one who had gotten away from her all those years ago.

you remembered the look on saw's face once you stepped inside. his grin immediately dropped and without a moment's hesitation, he took you by your shoulders and pulled you into his arms. you couldn't cry, not anymore. the entire time you were maneuvering through the streets of coruscant your eyes were welling with tears. the tie fighters shot at you as you escaped the planet and went into the stars.. and by the time you were in hyperspace, your face was soaked in tears. you sobbed the entire time, all the way up until your arrival at jedha, days later. you couldn't risk leading the empire back to saw, so you took a few rotations on some backwater planet to collect your thoughts— but what was left to think about?

you thought of gabs. her smile, her strange sense of humor that somehow always made you laugh. the twins and their insatiable appetite.. and the warm hugs they provided you when you were feeling down. bravo, who gave the best advice out of anyone on the crew. bode, your sparring partner. cal.. your best friend.

cal.. he was smart. 'he could've gotten out,' you told yourself. if he was captured he could've escaped. he was talented, he was brave. he was kind.. so kind. you remembered his hands on your arms, running them up and down your skin as a way to calm you, to ground you into the moment. it was a routine before you went out together. he would smile that same, big dumb grin, and reassure you that everything would be okay.

but that wasn't the case. not this time.

cal was gone. his beautiful.. gentle smile was gone. you would never see him again. he was dead or captured and you were the only one that made it out. he deserved to see the galaxy at a better state. he deserved to live. he deserved to grow old. thoughts of him and the rest plagued your mind like a curse, and no matter how many times you tried to push them and what happened away, they would come crawling back.

your work on jedha was light. saw was giving you time to recover, letting you decide if you even wanted to go back into the field in the first place. not only had his operation suffered a major loss.. but so had you. you had to watch it happen. until you made your choice, he had you doing whatever you needed or wanted. you could choose to sit around if you needed to. he had plenty of people to cover for everything. he knew you needed your space, so.. sit around you did.

you'd take walks occasionally, go to nearby cliffsides and listen to the stormtroopers beneath you chatter about whatever was going on in their lives. the familiar hum of their electro riot batons went in and out of your mind. they spoke of promotions, of their coworkers and their bosses, their plans, how much they hated jedha and wished they were stationed somewhere else.. but as they talked.. you envied them.

they were blinded to the empire's cruelty and injustices, but you? you had lost to them. these people knew nothing about the kindness your friends, your family, had shown. they would get what was coming to them.. but for now, you took solace in their stupidity.

this was one of those trips. you stood from your spot on the cliff, brushing off your pants with your hands, watching as dust fell from them back onto the sandy rocks underneath you. the stormtroopers were so oblivious to their surroundings, it almost made you laugh. you turned your back to them, ready to begin up the path you had come down before.

the trek was a decently long one. it was enough time away from base to clear your head and let your thoughts sit for awhile, and that was okay with you. you let yourself mourn through this walk.. and that was okay.

you groaned as you pushed yourself up onto the ledge, making steady progress towards base. you wondered if there was an easier way to get back.. but this distance was something you enjoyed. the silence was nice. it was good to be on your own sometimes, even if plenty of people had offered to come with you, you always turned them down. you knew they were concerned, but you needed time to be by yourself.

you brought yourself to your feet after climbing up, kicking a few of the rocks underneath your feet over the edge of the cliff. you looked down at the ground below you, wondering how far the drop was. you were surprised you hadn't slipped off, yet. you chuckled to yourself at the thought. you knew that, if cal were by your side, he would save you with his force magic. no matter how much strain it might put on him.. he would do it. there was no doubt in your mind.

but cal wasn't around.

a chirp in the distance, coming from the direction you were heading. you furrowed your brow. this path was supposed to be clear. who would saw send out at this time anyways? the sun was setting in the distance, the hues of pink and orange blending into the desert out beneath the cliffs. had he planned some sort of covert operation—

you stopped in your tracks. a droid..

cal's droid.

you'd recognize those colors anywhere. he stared up at you for a few moments before rushing towards you, climbing up your legs to rest on your shoulders. bd-1's head rubbed against your cheek almost as though he were some sort of animal. you grinned, leaning towards him as your hands reached for him. you took him off of your shoulder, holding him in front of you.

you frowned. how had he gotten here? did cal make it out? that wasn't possible. you would've heard something from him by now, anything—

"buddy, wait up!" you heard a voice call from down the canyon, and you froze, eyes wide. cal's voice. were you hallucinating? was this a dream or a nightmare? were you dead? why would bd-1 be here if you were dead?

before you could think on it any further, cal slid around the corner and turned to face you. his expression immediately softened as soon as he laid his eyes on you, and bd-1 slowly slinked out of your hands and back onto the ground, ready to watch your reunion.

he let out a shaky breath, one that even he could barely hear. his head felt so loud. after you'd gotten separated from the rest, he thought you were dead. he normally tried to stay as positive as possible.. you were clever, intelligent and knew just how to survive.. but it was a feeling in his gut that he couldn't shake that you didn't make it out.

he blinked a few times before he took a few hesitant steps towards you. your eyes filled with tears as you stared at him. he was real, he was in front of you. he was alive. before you knew it, cal's arms were wrapped around your waist, pulling you into his chest for a tight hug.

a soft sob escaped his lips, but he nuzzled his face into your neck, and all you could do was return the gesture. his crying pulled you back into reality. he was alive. he was okay.

it felt like an eternity, trapped in each others arms, soaking in the warmth that filled your chest as you reveled in his presence. you never wanted him to pull away, afraid that if he did he would disappear into the sunset behind him. but he pulled away, his hands resting on your shoulders as they always did.. and he stared deep into your eyes.

he pressed his forehead to yours, his fingers ran circles over your skin. what he always did to keep you calm.. and you couldn't help but cry. you let your eyes close, your hands reaching out for the fabric of his shirt. he was alive, and that was all you cared about. despite the insurmountable loss you'd faced that day, cal was alive and in front of you.

"i'm so happy to see you." you heard him say, and you nodded. his voice was coarse, rough against his throat. had he cried as much as you had? had he struggled with adapting to a life without you? without everyone? he'd mourned for you. you took his hands off of your shoulders, taking them in your own. this time, your thumbs ran over the back of his palms, caressing him as though he was about to break.

"cal.." you whispered out his name, your lips pressed into a thin line to prevent yourself from crying. his hands found your face, pulling you closer.

your heart ached in your chest, your breathing heavy. you let him touch you, both of you falling completely silent. finally, you opened your eyes, only to be met with his staring back at you.

he'd been looking at you all this time. desperation filled his vision, and his lips pressed to yours in a gentle, warm kiss. it didn't last for very long, and you resisted the urge to pull him back in as soon as his lips left yours. "i'm sorry," cal muttered, averting his gaze from you to look at the floor. "i don't know what came over me." he chuckled, breathless, feeling incredibly awkward as he sunk into himself. his cheeks were a bright red. he could feel the heat against his skin.

though, when he returned his eyes to you, you wore a smile. your face, still covered in tear stains, had a genuinely happy expression written on it for the first time in a long time.

you never thought you'd think of him in this way, but as you thought on it, you supposed you already had. you yearned for him in a way you did for no one else. you wanted him by your side. you swallowed, embarrassed.

"it's okay," you reassured him verbally before taking his hands in your own once more. they were rough, but surprisingly gentle. "i.. didn't exactly mind." you told him, glancing away from him as you spoke. it was strange to be this vulnerable, but you were glad it was with cal and no one else. he was so special.

he cared so much for people.. for you.

"really?" he asked without missing a beat, a youthfulness in his voice you had never heard before. you nodded, and he kissed your forehead, a sign of relief escaping his lips. he thought he had ruined everything between the two of you before even getting to talk to you.

"why.. why didn't you tell me?" you asked after a brief moments hesitation. of course, you were glad he was alive and in front of you, but you couldn't help but to ask. cal sighed, "i tried. comms were out. i tried to track you. i didn't find anything and i thought-" he paused, licking his lips. his throat suddenly felt dry. "i thought you were dead."

you couldn't even say anything, your mind focused only on the fact that he tried. he tried to reach out to you and that was all that mattered. you knew he would never leave you behind. "i had to.. find an old friend of mine. we had to fix up the ship." he swallowed, scratching at the back of his neck. "i'm sorry, i should've tried harder-"

"cal," you cut him off before he could say anything else, "all that matters now is that you're alive. you're here. we're here. you tried.. and that means more to me than you could ever know. believe me.. i tried to find you, too." you told him, eyes searching his face. "it's okay." you spoke up again, and his gaze finally met yours.

your breath hitched in your throat. he was beautiful. inside and out. he had a heart of pure gold. one that you hoped would never fade, that you knew would never fade.

bd-1 nudged at your foot before you could sink further into your daydream, and he climbed up onto his shoulders. you grinned at him, and then shifted your eyes to cal.

"come on," you murmured, taking his hand in yours. "i want to show you something."

the place you had mourned for him. yes.. but now, it was the place with a view you would share.

tags: @starwalkerwriting

[lottesreads]

Why Me? - Part 4

Pairing: Bob Floyd x Mitchell! Female Reader (Callsign Mantis)

Warnings: Cursing, insecurities, pining, mommy/daddy issues, throw up, little bit of angst, mentions of pregnancy, dirty jokes, mentions of death, mentions of being drunk/drinking

Word Count: 6892

Summary: The next morning commences after Bob sleeps over. You tell him things you never thought you'd talk to anyone about, and you both get to know each other a little better.

A/N: I realize now I have no posting schedule, I just post when it's done, so sorry 'bout that! Things are starting to pick up and I cannot wait to get to the next couple of parts, enjoy! And as always, love to know what you think!

Masterlist

Contrary to popular belief, you are actually a very level-headed individual. You made it through the academy and multiple deployments, often as the only woman in your squadron. You pushed back when people tried to knock you down, and you were able to do it by yourself. You didn’t need to call your dad for backup, he often didn’t know just how much shit you had to sit with just because you held his last name. It wasn’t just the Navy that held you in suspicion because of this. Your own flesh and blood held some animosity toward you. You often heard your grandmother tell you how great her daughter’s life could have been, “If your good for nothing father hadn’t come around.” You took it as she meant it: If she never had you.

That’s how it has always been around your mother’s side. She met Mav when he was stationed in Florida, your mother on spring break from her junior year in college. She was barely old enough to drink, but they made quick enough conversation. He was still in his flight suit from work when she walked into the bar with the rest of her friends. Only looking for a little fun she quickly left them in the dust for the man behind the aviators. They spent the entire week together until she had to go back to Ohio. He gave her his number in case she ever found herself back in Florida, and that was it. That is, until about a month later after finals were over and she still had one test to take. It came back positive. 

Pete was thrilled to hear back from your mom already, hoping they’d be doing a different kind of catching up. Instead, he was met with the sound of your grandmother yelling at him through the phone. He didn’t hear much, but the few words and sentences he did catch were “pregnant”, “kill you”, and “my baby”, but to be honest he didn’t hear a lot after the first time she said pregnant. To be fair, your dad stepped up to the best ability the Navy would let him. He requested a transfer to be closer to the two of you, calling Carole for advice, and when you were born, she and Bradley even made the journey to see you.

Then there were the deployments. Everywhere he went, Mav seemed to piss off someone, whether it be his Captain, Admiral, or anybody above him who had the power to send him out, they did. Moving to Virginia, your parents tried for the first two years of your life. They really did. Your mother ended up dropping out of school to take care of you while your dad was away. Always citing the Navy for the reason their troubles began. When he was back they’d fight constantly, her saying he was always away, and him telling her that it was his job. She couldn’t stand to look at him anymore. Thus started the arrangement you grew up with. Spending the school year with your mother, and the summers with your dad. Even if he had to leave in the middle, you spent the rest of your time with Carole and Bradley. A great reprieve from your mother’s side. Even from such a young age you felt bad taking away Carole from Bradley, learning guilt from your family very early on. There was one point when Pete was deployed when you were 8, Bradley 14, that you told him this. He told you he felt the same way about your dad and ended the conversation with, “We can share.”

You miss the times when you couldn’t wait to see the two of them. Which makes what happened last night even more bittersweet when you look back on it. Your dad didn’t even think there was conflict between you two, he just saw his kids talking again. That was enough for him. You didn’t even want to think about Carole right now. It always hurt, but knowing that her girl was fighting with her boy would have her smacking the both of you upside the head.

You could practically feel her in your brain the next morning. Either that or your head was pounding from all the tequila and lack of water in your system. From behind your eyelids you can tell the sun is just barely starting to come up. Damn that internal clock. You dare to move your face further into the pillow, but still completely at the feeling of something moving underneath your arm. Your hand lies curled into Bob’s side, the remainder of your arm resting over his stomach. You must have shifted in the night, you on your stomach, Bob’s hand now resting on your arm. His head facing toward you, eyes fluttering every couple of seconds, obviously in a deep sleep. He looks so peaceful like this, it almost stops your heart from beating out of its chest.

You take slow, measured breaths, praying you don’t wake him up. Not wanting to leave the only moment thus far that you’ve seen Bob completely at peace. Your eyes get caught wandering over the same few freckles across his nose and cheeks. As you admire the appearance of each dot, you are made painstakingly aware of how close your faces are. Your arm unintentionally flexes around his side and he takes a deep inhale. You close your eyes immediately, scared that you may have woken him up. His hand starts to smooth up and down your arm as you try to quiet your breathing. His hand abruptly stops in the middle of your arm as you feel his head lift from the pillow. You are trying your darndest to quiet your breathing all while your heart rate is skyrocketing. An impressive feat you are hoping Bob doesn’t catch on to. His head falls back to the pillow as you hear him let out a breath. He hasn’t dared to lift his hand from your arm quite yet, it still lingers, his fingers now tracing small shapes.

Oh god that was even worse. Feeling his hand wrap around your arm gave you butterflies. But now he was being so- delicate. Drawing deliberate shapes and patterns, none of which you could decipher. He was fully aware of what he was doing and now so were you. Your chest begins to feel light until the butterflies in your stomach are absolutely lurching. Wait, no you were going to be sick. Your eyes shoot open, alerting Bob, as you untangle yourself from the sheets and run toward the bathroom. Barely making it in time your stomach promptly evacuates whatever was left in there from last night. You can’t even hear Bob follow you in, but are made aware of his presence as he holds back your hair and rubs your back. Even as you’re puking up your guts, you take a moment to acknowledge just how touching the gesture is. And then you feel immediately guilty for letting Rooster get to you last night and ruining the plans you made with Bob.

Once you’re absolutely sure you’re finished, Bob helps you stand as your eyes meet in the mirror. He grabs your toothbrush, applying some toothpaste and handing it to you.

“You feeling ok?”, he asks as you begin to brush your teeth. You close your eyes and nod, not finding the strength to look at him quite yet. “Where do you keep your pain meds?”. You spit and rinse your mouth, continuing to lean over the sink.

“Cupboard to the left of the fridge”, you grumble. Just as soon as he’s gone, Bob reappears right next to you with a couple pills and a glass of water. You graciously accept the drugs and sip the water. You spare a glance in the mirror and catch Bob’s eyes. He had put his glasses on at some point, but was still sporting the sweatpants you lent him. It seemed weirdly intimate and almost fitting to see him in your clothes as well as in your bathroom. Oh god. This poor man had to put up with you all night and had to carry your drunk ass up the stairs. You place your hand over your forehead in embarrassment. “Oh god.”

“What’s wrong, you gonna be sick again?”, concern etches into his voice.

“No it’s not that. I’m just- I’m so sorry I ruined your night.”

“My night wasn’t ruined.” This has you opening your eyes once again and turning to Bob.

“How did I not ruin your night? You were supposed to go out and play pool, not carry your drunk coworker up the stairs and have to crash at her place.”

“Ok, first thing: If I recall correctly we did play pool. Number two: I offered to drive you home and then carry you up the stairs. And number three: I crashed here because I wanted to make sure you were ok. I didn’t feel right leaving you drunk and alone.” He seemingly and very purposefully left out the part where you practically begged him to stay in your bed. And you are grateful for that. The levels of empathy and generosity radiating from this man are astronomical. After getting through the exterior of anxiety and doubt, there is a big old softy in there.

“Well, thanks for doing all that. You didn’t have to.” You shyly offer. 

“I wouldn’t have been able to sleep if I didn’t make sure you were taken care of.” You look up and share a small smile with him. Seemingly meeting your embarrassment and his kindness in the middle. But your head is still pounding as you wince at the light coming through the door. As if he could read your mind, Bob closes the blinds to your bedroom alleviating the pain slightly. “Let’s get you back to bed.” You blindly take his arm as he leads you to your bed once more, allowing you to get situated before he comes back. The bed dips as he sits next to you, “Fair warning, I’m gonna place this rag on your forehead, ok?”

“Ok”, you whisper. Bob gingerly smooths the cool rag over your head and places the glass of water on your nightstand.

“Now that I know you haven’t died during the night-”

“How can you be so sure? It doesn’t feel that way”, he lets out a small huff of laughter.

“Because you still have the ability to be a smartass. It’ll be a cold day in Hell when you don’t have a quick comeback.” You smile at his use of the word ‘smartass’. You want to take it with a grain of salt, but hope it means he’s more comfortable around you to finally swear.

“Robert, such language.”

“I know I know, just don’t tell my mama.” You open your eyes a crack at the use of his southern drawl, smiling. He’s smiling right back at you, breaking the contact finally as he clears his throat. “Anyway, I’ve gotta get home to Sylvia. But I’ll be back later if you’re feeling better to go grab your car.” You reach out to grab the nearest thing to you, which happens to be his hand.

“Bob, I didn’t even think about my car. I am so sorry. I’ll just walk over there-”

“Hey it’s fine”, he squeezes your hand, “I only live about 10 minutes away, it’s not that big a deal.”

“After this you better be able to call me your friend. You took care of me while I was drunk and held my hair back as I puked. That’s as close as two people can be.” He smiles at your tired words. Of course he wanted to be your friend. He wanted to be more, but he would take anything you were willing to give him. And therefore what the Navy would allow. But he shouldn’t get ahead of himself. It still baffled him why you would want to talk to him in the first place, but here you are. Bonding over the fact that he took care of you. It wasn’t even a question in his mind, he was always going to make sure you were ok.

“Of course you’re my friend”, taking a look down at your still connected hands he realizes all the compromising positions he’s put you in during the last 12 hours. Deciding this is still too intimate for friends, he slips his hand out of yours and stands. “I’ll be back later if you’re feeling up to it.”

“If you insist.” Bob grabs his pants from their folded position on your dresser as well as his phone, looking back to you for one last glance.

“Oh I do.” He taps the door frame, “Get some sleep.” Your eyes slip shut as you succumb to a sleep you would classify as coma-like. You don’t even hear the front door close, Bob being mindful and shutting it as quietly as possible so as not to disturb your headache further.

Bob couldn’t help the smile that crept on his face the entire drive back to his place. You wanted him to be your friend. You wanted to spend time with him. And more importantly, he would be seeing you again later. He didn’t even care he saw you throw up this morning, he still thought you were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Not to mention you were funny as hell and strong-willed. You didn’t back down when Rooster had confronted you, and you ended up beating him in pool, drunk. Thinking of how amazing you are had the smile slipping from his face. What exactly did you see in him? Even just as a friend, what could he have to offer you?

He all too soon pulls up to his driveway, noticing Phoenix’s car waiting for him. He furrows his brow, she never said she was coming over. He makes his way to the front door, unlocking it and walking in. He’s greeted by the sound of paws on the hardwood floor running towards him. Sylvia stretches her back legs jumping up on his chest.

“Hey girl!”He greets her with head scratches, gently resting her front back on the floor. Hearing him enter, Phoenix frantically rounds the corner and lets out a sigh of relief.

“Oh thank god. Where the hell have you been?!” She looks him up and down once, face contorting in confusion, “And who the hell’s pants are you wearing?”

“I crashed with Mantis, she was pretty drunk and I didn’t feel right leaving her alone. Why are you here?”

“Because you haven’t answered your phone all night or this morning! I was worried about you.” Bob grabs his phone from out of the pocket of your pants, realizing he left it on do not disturb. There in all their glory are the missed text messages and calls from Phoenix.

“I’m sorry, I put my phone on silent so it wouldn’t wake Mantis up.” Phoenix smiles softly at the notion, but furrows her brow once more.

“Wait, where exactly did you sleep?”

“What do you mean?”

“If you were afraid of your phone going off and waking her up that means you were pretty close.” Bob looks away and rubs the back of his neck. “Bob, answer the question.” The way she squints her dark eyes at him makes him realize she isn’t messing around.

“I was in her room.”

“Did you sleep on the floor?”

“No” He responds quietly, hoping she didn’t hear it. By the way her eyes widen and mouth drops he knows she did.

“BOB!” He quickly holds his hands up in surrender, attempting to clarify the situation.

“I only did because she didn’t want me to leave! I stayed on my side the entire time and I promise you nothing happened.” She huffs out a sigh.

“If Mav finds out you were in his house, in his daughter’s bed-” Bob’s face reddens at her implications.

“Phoenix! Oh my god! You’re making it sound like something it definitely wasn’t”, he rubs his face in his hands avoiding her gaze.

“All I’m saying is, you are literally in her pants right now.” He continues to hide in his hands while Phoenix snickers at her own joke.

“You should go.”

“Oh come on, you’re the one in her clothes! But if it’s making you uncomfortable I’ll stop.” He peeks through his fingers and realizes she’s being sincere. She hears a muffled “thank you” from him as she makes her way to the door. “Good to know you’re alive. We still on for brunch tomorrow?”

“Yeah I’ll be there”, Bob mumbles out, still embarrassed.

“Good, Rachel’s really excited to meet you.” Bob finally looks at Phoenix and smiles, noticing the love-stricken look on her face. 

“Well I’m excited to meet her, too.” Rachel and Phoenix have been going out for three months, Phoenix only now taking the initiative to introduce her to her friends. Not wanting to scare her off by bringing her by the Hard Deck. Last night only solidified that she was making the right choice in not doing so.

“See ya later!” she calls out, shutting the door behind her. Leaving Bob alone with Sylvia, he bends down and gives her all the attention she deserves. He takes her head in both his hands and scratches her ears.

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t here last night”, he says in the baby voice reserved only for her, “Daddy had to go take care of someone. I know, I know. Maybe you’ll meet her someday.” She cocks her head to the side. “But don’t get too attached, that’s gotta be my problem and mine alone.”

True to his word, after texting to make sure you were feeling ok, Bob came over to retrieve your car. After getting a few more hours of sleep and almost throwing up a couple more times, you were able to shower and down a few glasses of water. Then miraculously you put on some clothes and were attempting to do your hair as the doorbell rang. As fast as your legs let you, you cautiously walked down the stairs to open the door. Even with the pills you took earlier this morning, you were still feeling lightheaded. Not even attempting to eat anything after Bob had watched you at your not-so-finest moment.

You open the door and there’s Bob in all his coiffed hair and wire frames glory. Sporting another t-shirt that wraps perfectly around his biceps as well as jeans that hug his legs just right. You really wish you were a pair of jeans right now. You barely even notice he’s holding your neatly folded sweatpants until he holds them out for you to take.

“I washed these for you, thanks for letting me borrow ‘em.” You graciously take them, taken aback by his thoughtfulness. You really shouldn’t be surprised anymore.

“Thanks Bob, you really didn’t have to do that.” He simply shrugs and puts his hands in his pockets, straining his forearms.

“It’s really no problem. How are you feeling?” You move to take the pants back to your bedroom, answering him while climbing the stairs.

“I’m alright, definitely better than this morning, thanks to you.” You return downstairs and find Bob admiring the framed pictures on the walls. Some of you and your dad, some of just you. And of course some of Bradley with his family. He picks up a frame of you, Bradley, and Carole. You were only 10, and didn’t know it at the time, but it was one of the last summers you’d spend with the Bradshaws. “Oh god, don’t look at that.” It was meant to be playful, but scared Bob nonetheless.

“Sorry.”

“No I’m sorry, I don’t want to subject you to pre-pubescent me.” He smiles softly and looks back at the picture in his hands. You’re sporting a great toothy smile and hugging Carole while she sticks out her tongue and Bradley gives you bunny-ears with his fingers. Bob doesn’t think he’s ever seen you smile that wide since he’s met you. 

“You look so happy” He watches as you reminisce, your eyes softening while your finger runs over the woman’s face. You don’t look a thing like her, but he notices the similarities in Bradley.

“I was”, you say simply. You clear your throat, breaking the both of you out of the moment. “So, you ready to finally get rid of me?” He lets out a small laugh through his nose. That statement could not be farther from the truth. Bob opens his passenger door for you, almost reaching to help you up, but pulling his hand back before it lands at your waist.

“Good to know it wasn’t my truck that was the problem.” You scoff at him as he slides into his seat, pulling his seatbelt on as you do the same.

“I happen to like your truck Robert, just not so much when I can barely feel my legs beneath me.”

“Glad to hear it.” You both smile at each other until he tears his eyes away to the road to get going. The radio begins to fill the silence with its humming, guitar filling the cab of Bob’s truck. His hands start to sweat as he looks over at you, your eyes closed as your head falls back to the headrest. “How’s your head?”

“Haven’t had any complaints yet”, you mumble. Bob chokes on his spit, eyes widening. Did he hear you correctly?

“What?”, he asks quickly. Your eyes mirror Bob’s as you look over at him, his gaze narrowly avoiding yours as his face heats up. You slap your hand over your mouth, forgetting whose presence you were in.

“Oh my god”, you say behind your hand, taking it away only to rest it in between the two of you. “I am so sorry, it’s a reflex response at this point! Phoenix showed me the Elvira movie while in school and it’s just something we say now.” You start to laugh nervously, hoping to dissipate some of the awkward tension you created. His facade cracks as your nervous giggle continues, he begins to break into a full hearted laugh while your giggle turns into something akin to his. “Bob”, you say as your laughter dies down, “If we’re going to be friends you’re going to have to get used to stupid crap like that.” His smile grows a bit wider, as he imagines himself laughing like this with you more often.

“I could get used to that.”

“Good”, you say, resting your head once again. Trying not to stifle another smile that threatens to take over your face.

“But seriously, how are you feeling?” You let out a large sigh.

“Oh you know, drugs can only do so much.” He knows you’re not letting on to how bad you’re actually feeling as your eyes remain closed.

“Have you had anything to eat today?”

“Oh god no, you were there this morning. I haven’t even dared to try to keep anything down.”

“Well that’s why your head still hurts. You need to absorb the lingering alcohol with some carbs. I know just the place.”

“Ya know I usually have dinner with someone before they sleep over, not the other way around.” Bob’s face still reddens at your remark, but this time he doesn’t shy away from laughing first.

“You know me, always breakin’ the rules.”

Bob pulls off into the parking lot of a small diner, one that had not seen any renovations since at least the 80s. You’re out of your side before he has a chance to open your door. He’s kind of glad you don’t give him the option. He wants to be a gentleman, but doesn’t want to toe the line between friends and something else. He does open the door for you and lets the hostess know it’s just the two of you before getting seated in a small booth close to the back.

You both begin to look over the menu before you speak up, “So, what do you recommend?” He glances up from over his menu before reaching over and pointing at yours. You can’t help but notice the veins bulging out of his hands and forearm as he does so. You keep reminding yourself that friends aren’t supposed to think of each other this way but you just can’t stop yourself from remembering how his hands felt on you. The drag of his long fingers over your arm, and the way his hands gripped your hips-

“They serve breakfast all day, and make a mean biscuits and gravy. But you can’t go wrong with a burger and fries.” Your stomach lurches at the thought and Bob must notice the grimace on your face. “Or, if you’re not feeling up for something that big, they do have good soups. But mama always said that the best cure for a hangover was some nice greasy food.” You smile at the slip of his accent.

“Well, if your mama says so.” His hand retreats as his lips curl up at your mirroring of his accent. The waitress comes over to take your orders, and at his mama’s advice you order a burger and fries. She leaves with the menus as you turn your attention back to Bob. “So, where ya from Bob?”

“I shoulda seen this coming”, he starts to fidget with his hands, drawing your attention back to the long digits.

“What do you mean?”, you respond coyly, feigning ignorance.

“Oh come on, I say ‘mama’ one too many times and people start asking where the twang comes from.”

“Well?”

“If you must know, I’m from West Virginia. Born and raised.” You raise your brows.

“No shit.”

“What?”

“It’s just that I spent every summer with my dad in Virginia. We’ve been next door neighbors this entire time.” Bob allows a slight smile to take over his face, entertained by your excitement.

“Where’d you spend the rest of the year?” It’s your turn to tear your eyes away from him. You try not to let the thought of your mom and her family affect you, but it’s obviously no use.

“With my mom, in Ohio.” Regardless of the fact that Ohio is also a neighbor to West Virginia, you brought up the time with your dad instead. Before he’s able to ask any follow up questions, the waitress comes by with your food, dropping the heaping portions in front of you. You hesitantly take a bite, but instantly melt into it as the first taste hits your tongue. “Shit, that’s good stuff.”

“What’d I tell ya?”, you smile at him through a mouth full of burger while he takes a bite. Opting to slow your roll before you upchuck anything else today, you set your food down and take a drink of your water. “So, your family’s still in West Virginia?” Bob gently sets his burger down and gives you his full attention.

“Yeah, I got an older brother and a younger sister. As well as my mom and dad. They live back on my family’s ranch.”

“So you are full-heartedly a John Denver country boy”, Bob laughs and stares down at his plate.

“I guess I am.”

“So how’d you end up in the Navy then? Assuming your family wanted you to work on the ranch.”

“They just wanted the best for me. One day I picked up a book in the library about planes and I was hooked. Then a Naval recruiter showed up to our high school and told me about the aviation program and here we are.”

“Here we are.” You share eye contact for a quick beat, both smiles growing slowly on your faces once more. You can’t help but feel a little jealous of his family. Both parents just wanting the best for their kids, supporting them no matter what. “I bet your mom’s the kind of person to have a sticker on her car saying ‘Proud Navy Mom’”. He bites his lip to stifle a large grin and you know you’ve hit the nail on the head.

“I plead the fifth.” You break out into a small laugh while Bob admires your smile. He wants to know more about your family but is hesitant to bring up the subject. He decides to go for it anyway, hoping to get to know you a little better than surface level. “I already know about your dad, but I’m assuming your mom wasn’t too thrilled when you joined?” Your hand stops mid-air from bringing the ketchup covered fry to your mouth. You place it back on the plate and dust your hands off on your jeans avoiding Bob’s gaze.

“Uh, no. No she wasn’t. There’s a reason I didn’t tell either of my parents I was going to the Academy, my dad didn’t even know until I sent him a graduation announcement.” Bob’s brow practically raises to his hairline.

“Really, not even your dad?”

“No”, you say shaking your head, “After everything that happened with Bradley I didn’t want to risk him pulling the same bullshit.” “What exactly happened between you and Rooster?” You shake your head again, looking at him this time.

“You don’t wanna hear that.”

“I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t.” Your eyes latch on to his, the sincerity oozing off of him.

“Well, he was like a brother to me. Closest thing I’ve ever had to one, excluding the step-siblings who couldn’t give less of a shit about my existence if they tried. And after my dad pulled his papers to the Academy I never heard from him again. I tried reaching out, and every year I still sent him a text for his birthday. But he never responded.” You swallow and look away from Bob, debating whether or not you’d tell him the whole truth. “And then when I needed him the most he still didn’t pick up. I even left him a voicemail hoping he’d hear it and after six years he’d respond. But nothing. After his mom died, I thought he’d need us more than ever. Turns out he was angry enough to never speak to us again.” You look back at Bob, bringing you down to earth once more. “That was, until this mission. It took them almost dying to get back to each other. That and one weekend in the middle of nowhere, God knows what they talked about.” Bob waits patiently, noticing you struggling to find the words to continue. He continues to nod and stare at you. Not in a pitiful way, but in a way that he wants to understand where you come from. “And I guess I’m still mad at him because both him and my dad got closure. I didn’t. I’m not going to apologize for something my dad did, and I guess Rooster doesn’t think he has anything to apologize for. And now they’re off playing catch-up, and I’m… still here. Not that right here is a bad thing, I’m glad to have your company.”

Bob’s eyes go from understanding to confusion. “If he made up with your dad, that still doesn’t explain why Rooster’s being- “A dickhead?” You cut him off. There’s a small fire behind his eyes now, a look you have never seen on Bob until this point.

“Yeah.” You shrug, going back to your fries.

“I dunno, I’m no psychologist but I think it has something to do with the fact that I started all the smart comments and he’s just getting back at me. Still, I’m angry at him for good reason. I don’t know what his is.” You go back to your food, hoping Bob will notice your want to shift the gears of where this conversation has gone. “But now that you know my tragic backstory, I’m gonna have to kill you.” Catching the way you dissolve into humor, Bob’s face softens as he takes your hand across the table, he seems to be doing that a lot in the past week. You’re not mad about it, not at all. Just.. perplexed. How could you go from barely talking to this man, to sharing some of your darkest secrets with him all within the span of six days?

“Hey”, he brings your attention back to his face rather than your smaller hand in his. His brow turned up in the middle, conveying empathy in the highest degree. “I’m sorry you have to deal with all that, especially by yourself. And you know what, Rooster sounds like a total-” He stops to find the word he’s looking for, you look on waiting to let him see what he comes up with “asshole”, he finishes for himself. Your eyes widen as you take in his words, and that’s when you feel him squeeze your hand in his much larger one. The same hand that traced your arm this morning when he fell asleep next to you, the same one that lifted you up all those stairs, helped you into his car, the same one that pulled you off the ground after your failed exercise, and the same one that is now reassuring you that everything is going to be ok. He can’t know for certain, but for right now everything is better than ok while he holds your hand in his.

You want to tell him how safe he makes you feel, how you want to tell him more about yourself. Something you always had a hard time doing. You squeeze his hand right back and gaze into his ocean-blue eyes. You get lost in them before you’re able to seemingly find the words you’re looking for. They’re in your heart, but you can’t get them to your brain and out of your mouth. You open your mouth to speak, but before you’re able to get anything resembling a ‘thank you’ out, you hear your name being called.

Your head turns in the direction of the voice, as both you and Bob immediately retract your hands from each other. You’re met with Penny and Amelia walking toward the booth you and Bob are seated in. Your heartbeat is racing as you blink rapidly, you barely manage to speak, “Penny, hi!” You glance back at Bob as he rubs the back of his neck, avoiding any eye contact. Why are you so nervous? It’s not like you were doing anything wrong. You were just holding hands across the table with your newly coworker turned friend and getting lost in his gorgeous eyes. Absolutely nothing wrong with that.

“Hey, good to see you made it out of the parking lot alright last night”, Penny remarks as she and Amelia stand before your table. “Not that I had any room for doubt when Bob was the one making sure you got home safe.”

“Right, yeah he made sure I was ok.” You feel a flush take over your face at the prospect of anyone finding out Bob was in your bed last night. Especially your dad’s girlfriend and her daughter. But you know you didn’t do anything wrong, friends share beds all the time. It was purely platonic. “I’m sorry for last night though, won’t happen again.”

She waves her hand, “Don’t even worry about it. You had a little too much to drink in a bar, it happens all the time.” Amelia scoffs at this.

“I heard she got absolutely hammered-”

“Amelia!”Penny scolds her. Bob turns to face the wall, attempting to hide his laugh as you lightly kick his foot. “Anyway, what brings you two here?”

“Oh you know, just pulled off on the way to grab my car. Bob mentioned they have great burgers.” You give him a sly smile, as if it was your own little secret they were the perfect hangover cure.

“That’s exactly why Amelia and I are here. Just having a little date before the bar opens later.” You force a smile as you feel Bob’s gaze on the side of your face. That jealous feeling crawls back up your throat again as you look at the mother-daughter duo. “I thought you would have left already though?” Your brows furrow, breaking you out of your trance.

“Left? For what?”

“Rooster stopped by earlier to grab something for your dad, he was heading out to his hangar earlier today. I assumed you were going with him.” You clear your throat and stare at your hands, twiddling with your thumbs to distract yourself. Your heart drops as you realize, once again, you’ve been left out.

“Um, no. I wasn’t invited.” Screw Rooster, and you know what, screw your dad, too.

“Oh, well. You are always welcome to come over if you ever need or want to.” She seems surprised at the actions of her boyfriend. You make yourself look up at her, plastering on a small smile.

“I know, thanks Penny.”

“We’ll leave you two be. Good to see you both!”

“You, too.” Bob waves at them as you look at your plate, suddenly feeling nauseous again. Your throat starts to tense up as you reach for your water. You are almost 30 for heaven's sake, you should not be jealous of Rooster and your dad. And you sure as hell aren’t going to cry over it.

“Hey-”, Bob starts but is interrupted by the waitress dropping by with the check. You pick it up immediately before Bob can reach for it. “Hey no, let me get that.” You place the check on the seat next to you as you rifle through your purse to grab your card.

“Nope, after everything you did for me last night and today I am not letting you pay.” He goes to open his mouth and you stare directly at him, “Don’t even try Bob.” Sensing the determination in your eyes and voice, he reluctantly allows you to pay.

“That’s alright, I’ll just grab the next one.” You look away as the waitress grabs the bill from you, and surprise coats your features.

“You wanna hang out again? Even after everything that happened in the past 24 hours?”

“Especially after everything. I can’t go back to being just your co-worker after seeing you vomit.” A nervous smile makes its way to his face as a more real one replaces yours. 

“You’re right, we’re friends now. And I can promise you there will be less vomit next time.”

“Can’t wait.”

After getting your card back, you and Bob make your way back to his truck and head off to the Hard Deck. You spot your lone car in the back, only a couple employee cars litter the front row. Bob pulls up right next to your car, hopping out and making sure you have everything before you leave. He even goes so far as to open your door for you as you roll your window down to say goodbye.

“Well, I guess this is me.”

“I guess it is.” He rests his hands on the open window as you grab one final look at him. You rest your elbow in between his hands, admiring his veins. Trying not to imagine tracing over them with your fingers.

“You better not ghost me at work on Monday.” You scold him. He laughs through his nose and looks down.

“I promise I won’t.”

“I’m holding you to that, Floyd. And thanks again, for everything.” He taps his fingers a couple times before leaning away.

“I trust you will, Mitchell. Drive safe.” You bid him goodbye, taking a deep breath, trying no to process everything that happened today while driving. Saving all your feelings for when you’re home alone, in the privacy of your room. The only four walls you feel safe to cry in.

Bob watches you slowly drive to the edge of the parking lot. He would have never guessed so many things that he learned about you today. The way you looked at Penny and Amelia deeply saddened him. The fact that Rooster is still being an asshole after he didn’t speak to you for 16 years angered him. After you shared that with him, he wanted to do everything in his power to make you happy. It’s obvious you’re good at putting on a mask, but Bob is good at noticing the little things. How great you are at faking happiness being one of them. And then there’s the fact that after today you’re going home to an empty house because your dad and Rooster made plans without you, yet again. 

Before he fully knows what he’s doing, his feet start moving toward your car, hoping to catch you before you leave the parking lot. It must have been the fastest he’s ever run, possibly even faster than when his older brother, Tom, chased him with a handful of cow poop. You must notice him in your rear view, as you stop and poke your head out the window.

“Is everything ok?”, you ask, concern lacing your features. Bob’s out of breath as he gets to your window, once again resting his hands in your car. And he’s still out of breath as he asks his question.

“Do you wanna get brunch tomorrow?”

Taglist:

@lemmons1998

[amberkoyuki]

Beauty and the beast.

★star of the show: 𝔖𝔞𝔫𝔢𝔪𝔦 𝔖𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔞𝔷𝔲𝔤𝔞𝔴𝔞★

𝓕𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓪𝓼𝔂 𝓐𝓤 <3

Warnings: MDNI ,Sex with a stranger, smut,

The beast was an ancient tale of the kitsune. The last one. His kind had been killed off long ago. He was in a big Castle. He protected that place with his life.

You had ran away from home due to abuse 3 years ago. You'd gone to family, friends nobody had accept you so You ran through the enchanted forest, it was a bad storm today. you a sea nymph fairy (so like Melanie Martinez) an extremely pretty nymph standing at 4'9 you were the tiniest creatures after dwarfs.

You had entered the castle and out your bag down only planning to stay till the dorm ended. When something grabbed you by your neck and pinned you against the wall. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE" his tone showed no mercy he had planned on killing you. "A sea nymph with wings?"

He noticed a your wings were broken.. That's when he let go of you.. He forced you to turn around so he could examine them.. "What happened?" You explained to him the abuse you were going through when you lived with your family

"You can stay here under one condition." You looked at him. You were willing to do anything to find anywhere to stay. "You bare my children." You thought the kitsune was joking but based on his tone you knew he wasn't. "can you do that for me." You nodded. You knew nobody else would accept you..

He had ran a hot bath for you and made you food while he went to set the room for the night. You sat in the warm water just relaxing.. It was so comfortable but you needed to wash yourself. After you finished you wrapped a towel around you and ate the food he had left for you. He had made you. A salad ,steak ,and mashed potatoes with gravy after a while the kitsune came looking for you and saw your half eaten meal "are you going to finish that?" You shook your head.. You weren't hungry after eating a bit.

You both were dancing in the ball room.. It was a slow dance.. You'd watched rich people do it a lot so you knew how to dance he was being slow with you "your the first human to accept me.."

"I lost my mother and younger siblings only leaving me and my they hunted everything I loved Down.. I yelled at my Younger brother rand said some horrible things to him.. We split up after that.. I regret every rude thing said to him that night.. Because I haven't seen him since" you felt bad for him.. this why he attacked everyone.. They took everything he had ever loved. "I'll stay with you I promise!"

"Don't lie to yourself." He said n with a frown. He wanted to trust you but couldn't at the same tome. "I'm not lying I promise" you said sweetly "sweetling. Why are you so trusting"

The kitsune led you to his room "I never got your name nymph." You told him your name. He looked st you in surprise "your name is very pretty.. Just like you" you liked what he said but it was also very unexpected of him to say that because he had tended to have a cold and mean demeanor "I'm Sanemi. Sanemi Shinazugawa"

He shoved you onto his bed and opened you wide. He got onto the floor and pushed his head under your dress..you winced when you fled his tongue kicking your cunt for the first time. This was a new sensation for you so you were moaning like a complete bitch.

"S—SANEMI..~" you moaned and whimpered till he finally spoke "yes my nymph?~" "p—please.. This is my first.. Time" he removed his head from underneath your dress "really!" You nodded in embarrassment "I'll make you feel so good sweetling!~" Sanemi pushed 4 fingers into your cunt and you moaned out loud. He put both your legs on his shoulders. Every time you came he was eat it all up. It was an addiction to him.. All that cold be heard where your screams of pleasure.

Sanemi sat on the bed and placed you on your stomach so you could give him a blow job.. He grabbed the back of your head and bobbed you on and off his cock.. It was a quick pace that you were bobbing on and off his dick he had came in your mouth a few times..

(EYY I'LL CONTINUE WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT IM TIRED NOW <3333)

[prismuffin]

Could we get some Ethan hunt x old teammates m!Reader, where they have a kinda love/hate relationship yk? Were teammates because maybe the reader did something Ethan and the whole corporation didn't see fit so they went into hiding. But now (speaking of the latest movie) Ethan needs help and since he knows that he can trust the reader he tries to find him. Obviously they meet at some point maybe venice? but only because the reader caught wind of whats going on and also only helping Ethan because he has a grudge against Gabriel. I would like the reader to be more focused on stealth, like the best, no one can detect him, and maybe that also reflects in his fighting style.

Idk i hope you understand, not really good at describing what's going on in my brain

A/n: I totally understand and thanks for answering my call for M:I requests! I hope I did this one justice- also writing fights is hard as shit

Someone He Could Trust

Ethan Hunt x male!reader

( summary: After an old friend reaches out to you for help, you decide to go to a party in Venice )

Warnings?: spoilers for Mission: Impossible Dead Reckoning!! , mentions of guns, violence, fighting, knives, killing, light swearing, mentions of alcohol

!-!more under the cut!-! After all these years, the last thing you expected was a message from him. Ethan Hunt. An old...co-worker...of yours from before 96'. You both used to work together back then, not ever fully trusting one another, though you admit that that's mostly your fault. There were a few times where you may have left him in the dark but only when you knew he could get out of it easily. The last time you had though didn't go so well, a lot of people died and it ended with him being caught. You'd thought he was dead or in jail but time told a different story as you found out he was recruited by the IMF, a government organization that uses the skills of people like you and him to do dirty work behind the scenes.

"I need your help, I need someone I can trust." The message he left you included a file with a picture of a certain key. You'd heard of these things recently, everyone was racing to be the first to get both parts of the key. What exactly it unlocked you're unsure of and judging by the extent of Ethan's research he doesn't either. Though the key wasn't the only thing that caught your attention, a single name had as well. Gabriel. If you remember correctly he should be dead, if he's wrapped up in all of this then it can't be good. Either way, the last thing that lay within the file is a single invitation to a club in Venice Italy. Smirking, you stood, a party doesn't sound like a bad idea.

After a quick flight, you landed in Venice around 11pm, heading to one of the many canals in Italy you entered a boat that rowed you down to a hole in the wall building, the neon lights and loud music shaking the walls around you as you stepped out the boat, letting yourself get frisked before going inside. Entering the party, you straightened your tux as you scanned your surroundings, people danced on display like art as guests around them talked and drank. It was casual and not at the same time. Moving around the crowd of people you walked closer to the bar only to stop as you recognized a certain bearded man. Gabriel. He was older now, obviously, and he stood close to a woman you didn't recognize. You went just close enough to hear them, turning to not draw attention to yourself as you listened in on their conversation. "I don't have it on me," the woman spoke, ah so she was wrapped up in all of this. "I wouldn't expect you to," Gabriel spoke after her, "In any case, I'm not here for the key." 'He's not? Well, that's a contradiction,' you thought to yourself as you watched him turn his back to the bar, you moved to not be in his direct line of sight. "What do you want?" the woman asked though Gabriel seemed to dodge the question. "Suppose while we're waiting I tell you a little story," "You're obviously not the person I came here to meet." The woman said before deciding to walk away but stopped as Gabriel spoke again. "it's your story, Grace," So Grace was her name, "I know how it ends, let me buy you a drink and perhaps we can change it." Though you felt the urge to help this woman she's not who you came here for. Speaking of who you came for, looking near the entrance you saw him with a woman you'd seen before, though only briefly. British intelligence? You're pretty sure, or at least she used to be. Too bad you can't exactly remember her name. You moved again as they fully entered the party before getting stopped by someone who they then followed. Directing your attention back onto Gabriel and the woman you heard Gabriel telling her more about Ethan, though the way he was putting it made Ethan seem like this master manipulator to every woman he ever came across. You clenched your jaw as his story continued, he made it seem like it was Ethan's fault for the death of Marie when it was really he who'd killed her. "Grace," You were shocked to see Ethan just casually walk up to them both, he glanced over, noticing you and you winked before you quickly moved, preferring to offer him backup in the shadows if and when he needed it. You watched as they all talked before the white widow, or Alana as you know her, came over and decided to bring them all upstairs to talk. You'd crossed paths with her before but even then you doubt you'd be able to randomly convince her to let you follow them all the way upstairs. Still, you tailed them until you couldn't, deciding to linger until a fight broke out.

"Let's fan out, Hunt's here somewhere," You perked up at those words as you turned to notice two men, they nodded at each other before attempting to blend in. But to you, they stood out like a sore thumb. You were conflicted about staying near Hunt but knew he could at least handle himself against people he knew were threats. To you, these two were unknown threats that he'd unknowingly have to counter eventually. Taking them out now would be ideal you thought and so you followed them. If they moved far enough from Hunt then they wouldn't be a problem at all and you could return to him.

-

Tailing them didn't last too long, the venue was rather large and it didn't take them long to get far from Ethan. You walked back inconspicuously before stopping as you noticed a few guards run past you towards Ethans location. They ran up the stairs and you watched as Ethan jumped from the railing, spooking the patrons as he ran through the crowd. Following after him as quickly as you could without drawing as much attention to yourself you found him saving that girl from earlier, Grace, from two men. Fighting them off as best he could as she ran. He called out to her but she didn't come back to help, scoffing you pulled out two sai's from your person. Wasting no time you jumped on the back of one guy, putting a quick end to his life before you turned, narrowly missing Ethan's head as you plunged one of your sai's into the eye of the second guard. Ethan stood, watching as you removed your weapon, flicking the blood off. "Long time no see huh?" You said, watching the slightly out of breath Ethan tilt his head briefly as he nodded. "Yeah well," he shrugged before looking past you, seeing Grace's retreating form he moved to follow her only to stop and do a double take near the grounds. You peeked, noticing the two guys from earlier, they noticed Ethan before running to stop him, was everyone really after this guy? "I'll deal with them, you go after her," You said and he nodded. "There's a safe-house, third floor, south of Minich Bridge, my teams waiting there!" He yelled to you as he began running and you nodded, preparing yourself for the company of the two men.

Hiding beside the entrance to the corridor you were just in you waited for them to run in. The older white guy ran in first followed by his younger partner, who you went for first, hitting him hard with the back of your sai. He fell quick and quiet, though not quiet enough as the older guy seemed to notice immediately. He turned quickly, pointing his gun at you and firing off a few shots though you threw down a smoke bomb of sorts, blinding the man. You waited, moving slowly behind his person to strike again though he had anticipated your attack, blocking you last second though not before you were able to knock the gun out of his hand. He was strong and well-trained but you've taken down men bigger than him. He threw a few punches that you'd dodged before countering, causing him to stagger as the smoke started to dissipate. Kicking him, he flew off to the side, hitting the railing of the balcony. Grabbing your sai's again you were ready to finish the job, pulling your arm back to ready yourself for your attack you were suddenly pushed from behind. You hit the railing, your Sai's falling out your hand. "Shit," you were quick to turn, kicking the younger guy down, how he got back up that fast you were unsure.

Moving quickly you fought the younger guy off, not forgetting about your older opponent who had recovered from his initial fall. You threw a punch at the younger guy who'd blocked it but you'd countered quicker than he thought. Punching him in his throat he fell to the floor struggling to breathe, giving you enough time to turn and kick the older guy in his knee, knocking him down as you used your leg and wrapped it around his throat, effectively knocking you both to the ground as you choked him out with the strength of your thighs. He punched your side but you held out long enough for him to stop struggling. As soon as he was unconscious you moved to knock out the young guy again who had weakly put his fists up to fight back. Smirking you hummed, "What a shame, you're kinda cute." He charged at you and you sidestepped him. He turned quickly just in time to get kicked in the chest making him fall on his back. Some might say you should never kick someone when they're already down but you say that's the perfect time to strike. Delivering one final kick to his head, you knocked the consciousness out of his body.

Sighing you looked at the two unconscious bodies before stretching, "Finally." You moved to grab the guns that had since been forgotten in the hand-to-hand combat that just ensued before leaving the way Ethan did. You doubt you'd catch up to him now so it was better to just try and find that safe-house he'd told you about.

-

Finding the bridge Ethan told you about wasn't hard though you were more than shocked to find Ethan there, above a woman who was now dead. Grace stood behind him, unsure of what to do. "Ethan?" you walked up the bridge, but his eyes never left the woman. "She's.." he muttered, not finishing his sentence. Looking at the woman you recognized her from earlier she was that former British Intelligence agent whose name you didn't even remember. Now though it's clear that she meant a lot to Ethan. Kneeling down to his level you hesitantly placed a hand on his back. "I'm sorry Ethan," Hearing a boat come down the canal you were quick to remove your suit jacket, delicately placing it over her as the boat neared.

Ethan stood, still looking down at the body before ripping his eyes away from the scene. You placed your hand on his back again, shocked when he leaned into your touch. "I'm sorry," Grace spoke up but Ethan quickly shut her down. "No, it's not your fault. It's Gabriel's." He stated matter-of-factly, anger dripping from his tone. The boat finally neared and stopped making both you and Ethan look up. "Benji," Ethan said, referring to the man driving the boat. "He's on our side?" You asked and Ethan nodded. The man now known as Benji seemed relieved that Ethan was ok but confused at your presence. "I'll explain who he is later, right now...let's just get back to the safe-house...I need to think," Ethan spoke to Benji who nodded before he urged Grace onto the boat. Hopping over the railing yourself you landed with a huff onto the speedboat, sitting in the tight space before Ethan sat next to you. He held a somber expression on his face as Benji turned the boat around. Bumping him with your shoulder, you offered him a smile, "We'll make him pay for this Ethan. I promise." You whispered and Ethan looked at you. You both gave each other a determined nod at the mutual agreement and he offered you a brief smile, but it quickly fell again One way or another you were going to find Gabriel and kill him.

----!----

( I despise writing fights )

Thanks for reading! Have a great day/night!!

My requests are CLOSED !!

See my DIRECTORY for upcoming fics!

Masterlist

[inlove76]

lost love

really random but its been on my mind might be a little short so

angst cause why not

male reader x kakashi hatake

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

why was loving so hard? why so difficult. why was loving him so hard to do

a man you once loved and gave your heart to

someone you couldn't think about living without.

kakashi was able to sense what you were feeling through how you body tensed and untensed. how your face turned and wrinkled into a mix of disgust and anger whenever you didn't like something are when ever your back muscles tensed when you were frightened are on guard. when your shoulders tensed out of anger are when your jaw tightened when you wanted to say something bile but never did. its a given kakashi is quite an observer so it doesn't come as much of a surprise when ever he knows what your feeling with out you telling him. his favorite definitely being the way your eyes light up whenever something fascinated you are whenever you were told something you hadn't known.

to kakashi you were easy to read, but you liked to bottle all your emotions so not many people knew how you felt and how often you'd zone out and forget everything until someone grounded you again. unlike kakashi you weren't really known by many people so it was easy for people to forget that you were apart of the conversation, but that was okay because you had kakashi and that's all that

mattered to you. kakashi could still remember the peaceful days when you two just cuddled in bed neither one of you wanting are needing to get up. oh how kakashi loved you and how he loved that you didn't judge people easily, that being one of the many reasons he fell in love with you.

but unfourtently everything must come to an end even this peace you had created for yourself. love was truly hard and loving someone was even harder. your wonderful (e/c) eyes staring at him with so much love and compassion.....but know those same eyes stared down at him with nothing at all everything that once made you so lively was gone. kakashi looked up at you as you held a sword to his throat as he stayed on the ground and bleeding slightly from the head from yours and his previous fight.

"give up all ready kakashi you've lost" you spoke with so much hate but your body didn't show any of it. grey and red eye meeting (e/c) ones everthing fell on deaf ears as you stared at him a nd he stared at you. "you look so dull" kakashi mumbled and brought his hand up to try and touch your face but you stopped him by moving your sword closer to his throat "don't touch me hatake" your words came out so venomisly your eyes no longer shining bright with love and affection, no. know instead replacing that love was dullness and there was nothing he could do about it.

why was loving so hard? did he not deserve happiness? I guess not because the one thing that brought joy to his dull black and grey world was you and know your staring down at the man you so desperately loved with nothing left to say and dull eyes everything seemed so...out of place. was this really how it ended were you going to kill him? kakashi looked at you one last time and smiled slightly "you know I'll always love you (name). he said and smiled as you stared at him a d finally brought your sword down but instead of hitting him it hit the ground beside him "you should stop...love is pointless" was the last thing he heard from you before you left. left him left the village everything. this was really the end, what everything came down to why was the world so cruel??.

wooooo finally got it down its freaking 10:31 and I'm exhausted

if you have any ideas of what I could write please let me know because my brain hurts right know bye bye all you beautiful people.

[ereawrites]

Book Club (Kakashi Hatake)

Chapter 2 - Another Ambush, Poorly Executed

You learn very quickly that Naruto Uzumaki has a big mouth.

word count 5.7k (chapter 2/9 - 7.6k words total)

read it on ao3 here

Kakashi arrives on time, for once. Part of you is a little disappointed - your genin only left an hour ago, and since you had them up at the asscrack of dawn, you were hopeful you'd be able to squeeze in a nap before Kakashi arrived to spar. You'd even spent extra time choosing a particularly comfortable tree to lean back against. As it is, you're only just finishing your lunch when you sense his chakra in the forest behind you. 

"Good afternoon, Kakashi!", you call out through a mouthful of rice once he's within earshot. "Surely my watch is broken!"

"Aah... is my reputation really that bad?"

You snicker as he drops down from a branch, landing with his hands in his pockets. "I've heard rumours that Tsunade-sama has included in your file you're to be told missions start an hour earlier than they actually do." Lady Tsunade has taken fantastically to her role as Hokage, but you still see a shadow of worry pass over Kakashi. No doubt he's reminded of Orochimaru; you've heard rumours about the Uchiha boy, too, that are perhaps best to steer away from.

Kakashi is back to his usual, blank-faced self before you can think of something to say. "Well, old age slows you down, so they say." 

You scowl at him and push to your feet. "We're the same age, Hatake. Didn't you ever learn not to call a lady old?" Unfortunately, you back gives a resounding pop when you straighten, which you feel rather takes the threat out of your words. He chuckles.

"You're slower getting up than you used to be.", Kakashi notes, not unkindly. You toss another scowl, along with your flak jacket, freeing up your arms to really stretch out the tension from your morning training session. 

"Hey, my genin are getting stronger! Sometimes I actually have to try when we're sparring now. It's weird. And exhausting. I'm just counting down the days 'til they pass the Chuunin exams and I can get some peace and quiet." A few rolls of your neck have you feeling much better; you take back your jacket from Kakashi, then crouch to strap your weapons pouches back on.

He begins to prepare himself, too, rewrapping his bandages and checking his pockets. "I saw them in the market on my way here. You have the Inuzuka girl, don't you? She's... very loud. Almost as much Naruto."

"Keiko-", you groan fondly, "She's insane, Kakashi. I've never known a kid to be so utterly crazy. If I ever came up against her in a real battle I think I'd just kill myself to save the headache." He hums in sympathy - from what you've heard, his own team are even more of a handful. Since you started teaching Keiko basic fire-type chakra control, she's developed a particular affinity for blowing things up. You've since been instructed to keep these training sessions away from trees, homes, and anything else remotely flammable. But she's also an incredibly sweet kid when you aren't chasing her around, and her companion Aomaru is a real cutie.

Kakashi tosses his flak jacket against the base of a tree trunk, and you're pretty sure you see Icha Icha poking out one of the pockets. Come to think of it, it is pretty hot now the sun is up. You leave your own jacket next to his, then peel off your long-sleeve too, leaving you in a tank top that exposes the scar of your old ANBU tattoo. His eye flickers over it knowingly. You'd left the organisation just a few months after him, released back onto regular duty after the Uchiha massacre left the village short on jonin, and readjusting proved a challenge for both of you. You rub a palm over the faded skin there, and decide to put it out of your mind.

"Shall we focus on Taijutsu today?", you suggest brightly, leading the way onto the pitch. 

"You sounded far too much like Gai just now."

You cackle, throwing yourself into a high somersault, and perform several flips before landing on the other side of the midway line to Kakashi. "It's because I'm so youthful and energetic, rival! All I need now is the green jumpsuit!"

"Stop it-", he grumbles, pinching his nose. "-I was looking forward to a training session that wouldn't leave me with a headache for once."

You grin. "When I'm finished with you, your whole body will be aching." You didn't even really mean that as an innuendo, but you're still pleasantly surprised to see how he stiffens for a split second. "So, Taijutsu?"

"Alright, then.", he nods, then he's vaulting into in the air and over your head and landing behind you without a sound, and you're sensing his familiar chakra start to thrum before you've even spun to meet him.

He throws a punch at the back of your head and you sidestep it, turning in to a high kick that he easily dodges; then he's coming at you again, a barrage of punches that you deflect and dodge and catch, barely even breathing hard. He's so relentless you have no chances to hit back, effortlessly guarding himself even as he rains down strikes on your forearms. It feels good to train like this, your movements flowing like water as you dance around him. You were always agile, even when you were a kid and you didn't even know what Taijutsu was. Sharingan no Kakashi is quick, but you are too. 

The next time he strikes high you feint left, then right, watching his eye flash to keep up with you - there, he's watching your feet instead of your hands - you catch his wrist and use his momentum to pull his arm past your head, turning and driving your other elbow up into his ribcage. Kakashi grunts, twists free of you, and all of a sudden there's a foot driving into the back of your knee. You drop but manage to keep your balance, rolling around him and springing back to your feet just as he's on you again.

"It isn't like you to focus so much on offence-", you state matter-of-factly, letting him continue to bear down on you in the hopes of tiring him out a little. "You always let your opponents come to you, back in ANBU."

Kakashi doesn't so much as look at your face. "In those situations, I knew nothing about my opponents. It was better to stand back and let them reveal their weaknesses on their own." He's pressing you back so hard that you have no choice but to give ground. The trees are behind you and the sun is glinting off his hitai-ate and he mixes in a low kick, forcing you to leap backwards. At least he's starting to sound just slightly out of breath.

"On the other hand, I know how you fight. We've been teammates on enough missions for me to know your patterns." He says this as if he's discussing the weather, and not ramping up the intensity to push you backwards even faster. You cast out your chakra behind you and are instantly met with forest: he has you backed up against a solid tree trunk - you move as quickly as you can, darting left and pushing chakra from the soles of your feet to give you an explosive boost, flitting into the empty space behind him-

He catches you.

Kakashi's hand is around your neck and he's got you pressed against the tree trunk. "For example.", he continues, eye turned up in a smile. "You always go left when you're cornered." 

...Damn. You do, don't you?

Despite your irritation at being read so easily, despite the fact you'd be dead if this was real, you laugh. Old enough to have a bad back, but at least not so old you can't learn. Kakashi's fingers are right up against your pulse point, surprisingly gentle considering the force with which he'd thrown you into the tree, and they loosen even more as you laugh. Now. You bring your knee up and kick him away square in the chest. It buys you enough time to slip into the cover of the forest, even if you're certain he let you land that hit on purpose.

The fight continues as you chase each other halfway around the forest and back again. You're determined to be more aggressive now, and to prove that you know him just as well as he knows you. So you hurl yourself at him over and over again, hardly letting him dodge around one tree before you're dropping on him from the boughs of the next, grappling with him when you reach clearings, even going so far as to drop a particularly large branch onto his head at one point.

Dodging it easily, Kakashi stares up at you. "That poor tree might miss that branch.", he deadpans, shoulders rising and falling rapidly with the weight of his panting breaths. He's stalling for time, but you're honestly glad of the break.

"Call it a casualty of war.", you say mournfully, too tired to think of a cleverer comeback. Your chest is heaving. Kakashi has always had more stamina than you, and the heat isn't helping even under the green-tinged shade of the tree canopy. A bead of sweat rolls from your hairline and all the way down your neck. There's no two ways about it, you're considerably more tired than Kakashi - but you're having so much fun. You haven't faced up against him properly since you were kids, and it's nice (if not a little strange) to see how far you've both come.

"Want to call it a day?", the silver-haired jonin calls. Clearly he can see how exhausted you are, and he sounds pretty tired too. You don't even pretend to consider his offer. He's already one-upped you, and you're no Gai, but you're not willing to accept any kind of defeat from a man who reads smut in public.

Instead, you pull a kunai from your pouch. "Absolutely not." Then you launch at him, and the fight continues. Sparks fly between your kunai with every strike, the sound of metal against metal and heavy breaths the only sound in the forest. Kakashi manages to back you up against another tree, but this time you jump and go over his head - he's smiling at you when you land, still smiling when he kicks you in the ribs, but it vanishes from his eye when you put a blast of chakra into your next palm strike and send him crashing back into that very same trunk. The forest is going to be ruined if you're not careful. Perhaps you can blame Keiko.

The battle has you dancing through the trees for what feels like only the blink of an eye, but by the time you're back out on the training pitch, the sun is lower in the sky than you remember. Every muscle in your body is screaming out in agony. You keep coming at him, pleased that even this tired your kunai is barely more than a quick glint in the sunlight. When the flow of motion takes you onto the river that rushes along the western edge of the pitch, you welcome it, pushing chakra from the soles of your feet and relishing in the cool breeze that comes off the water. Kakashi doesn't even cause the water to ripple when he chases you - an impressive display of chakra control even at your level.

Against a different opponent, you would hope to distract them from their chakra control, force them to plunge into the river rather than take a direct hit. But Kakashi doesn't so much as stagger when you go back on the offensive, not even when you sweep at his legs and he somersaults backwards onto the deeper water. It's frustrating, especially when you're this exhausted. So, you kick up a spray of water right into his face, a frankly childish move your genin have resorted to before.

He emerges looking distinctly like a wet dog, shaking his hair in a way that would be endearing if you weren't so focused on dashing forward into a shoulder strike; Kakashi lets you barge right into his chest, absorbing the impact, and he's wrapping his arms around you and then throwing you up over his head and it's all you can do to stay afloat as your back slams against the water - this is it, he's got you, you're too worn out and sweaty to roll away, so you just stare up at him and he - hang on, did he just glance at your chest? - the desperate wave of chakra you sent out to cushion your impact must have knocked his off balance because he's falling, one foot plunging into the river - you have your kunai at his throat before he's even on his knees.

"A draw?", you suggest, still on your back, practically gasping for breath. This is the best you can hope for against an opponent like him.

Kakashi is kneeling behind you, one hand on each side of your head, throat pulsing against the point of your blade. He's blank-faced for a moment, then blinks. "Alright, then." 

You gladly drop your kunai, roll onto your stomach, and push to your feet with all the grace of an especially fat old dog. Kakashi's hand finds your bicep to give you a welcome boost. "I'd hate to have you as a sensei. I think I'd die if I had to fight like that every day.", you groan. As tough as you can be on your team, you've heard that Kakashi is much worse. It's a relief to get back onto solid ground and let your chakra melt away.

"Your endurance is really quite good, you know.", Kakashi replies. Although you do know, you can't help but feel flattered.

"Well, I must be getting lazy in my old age.", you tease, glad to see a sheepish crinkle to his eye. He brings both hands up in a mock surrender, hunching over, and he looks for all the world like a bedraggled cat with his floppy, dripping hair and one wet trouser leg. No doubt you look just as ridiculous - covered in sweat, with twigs in your hair and bruises already starting to form on your arms. Both of you are walking much more slowly than tiredness calls for.

By the time you reach the pile of your things, all you're really thinking about is a hot shower, and maybe a trip to the ramen stand this evening. You toss Kakashi his flak jacket and are reaching for your water container when you remember what you saw in his pocket earlier. "So, how are you finding that action novel?"

Kakashi splutters through his own mouthful of water. You quirk a concerned eyebrow at him as he pounds his chest. "Hah... I haven't had much time for reading this week, you know, my genin team have really been keeping me busy."

"That's a shame-", you shrug nonchalantly, starting to bundle your things into your backpack. You'll walk home without your jacket and enjoy the sun, you decide. "I'm looking forward to reading it. Take your time, though!" You don't want to seem too pushy and let him realise you're teasing him. "Right now I should really be focusing on preparing my team for the chuunin exams-"

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!!!"

The shout comes from the direction of town. You whip your head around and see a shock of orange racing across the training pitch. Kakashi barely has time to groan under his breath before Naruto Uzumaki screeches to a halt in front of you both.

"SENSEI! We've been waiting for you since noon, and we didn't even bring lunch!". The boy's blonde hair is sticking up haphazardly all at odd angles. "I only had one cup of instant ramen for breakfast, too!"

Kakashi doesn't react to the loud rumble of Naruto's stomach, and doesn't question how he found the two of you. "You see - well, I was helping (name)-san here catch a cat."

Naruto narrows his eyes and puts his hands on his hips. You're strangely reminded of Iruka Umino. "A cat? Then why have you been swimming?!".

Kakashi looks like he wishes he'd used his katon to dry off. A droplet of water rolls from his hair down his mask. "This was a special kind of cat that can control chakra to walk on water. That's why (name)-san needed my help."

His grey eye turns onto you, impressively blank, but you read the silent plea in it regardless. Naruto seems to notice you for the first time. "...Yes. The Hokage brought a shinobi cat back from her travels. He's very dear to her." You're pretty sure Tsunade-sama hates cats. Surely Naruto won't be fooled by this-

"Hmm...", he grumbles, seemingly accepting your poker face as trustworthy. Then his face splits into a wide grin, Kakashi's lateness apparently forgotten. "I'm great at catching cats. You should have got me to do it, Sensei!"

Kakashi pats Naruto on the head. "Well, we didn't catch him today. Your training session can be to find him before midnight." Poor Naruto suddenly seems so determined, you nearly laugh, but just about manage to turn it into a dignified cough that reminds the boy of your presence. 

"Say, who are you, ne-san? I don't think I've seen you before!". It's entirely possible you're the only person in Konoha who Naruto hasn't pranked, yelled at, or otherwise inconvenienced. Your paths have simply never crossed. There are many people who would call this good luck. 

You're careful not to say anything too incriminating: you know what your own genin are like, and this Uzumaki boy already seems just as troublesome in the way that children tend to be. "An old friend of your sensei - we went to the academy together, actually."

"HUH?!", he yells, arms flying up in the air. "No way you're the same age as Kakashi-sensei! You're so young and cute and you don't even have grey hair like Kakashi-sensei, I say! How-"

Kakashi claps a hand over Naruto's mouth, making a valiant effort to ignore the boy's muffled noises of indignation. "We should get going now so Sakura and Sasuke aren't waiting. That cat could be halfway to the Land of Fire border by now!" Naruto stops squirming just long enough for Kakashi to release him, and he starts to race off in the direction from which he came - then spins on his heel, splutters on the dust cloud he kicks up, and sprints back to you.

"Sorry, ne-san, I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Naruto Uzumaki!", he chirps, sticking out a palm. You see Kakashi smile out the corner of your eye.

You can't help but smile too as you shake his hand. How could anyone ever be cruel to this boy? He's so infectiously energetic, and he definitely gets bonus points for calling you cute. "Naruto Uzumaki, huh? I'll be sure to remember that name." 

He looks so delighted you nearly melt. Kakashi waves at you before they both disappear in the direction of the village; you smile all the way back to your apartment.

Konoha in the evening may be your favourite thing in the world. The sun is just setting when you leave your apartment, lighting the Hokage monument up gold and casting the streets of the village in a warm orange light. You're sore off your training session but a hot shower has done wonders to take the sting out of the pain, leaving you with the kind of ache reminiscent of a hard day's work. After your shower, you had opted to dress in simple civilian clothes: a light sweater and loose trousers, with your favourite pair of sandals. It's been a while since you've had a whole evening to yourself.

The street lights begin to come on as you walk to the market square, restaurants and bars switching on their neon signs, and porch lights flick on outside homes. You catch sight of a mother cuffing her academy-age son around the ear, scolding him for not being home in time for dinner. If your genin have any sense, they'll have already eaten and will be preparing for bed right now. They're going to be focusing on chakra control tomorrow - on the water, far away from anything they can set on fire - and you've got no intentions of letting them leave until they can at least cross the river.

Thankfully, there's an empty seat at your favourite ramen stand, despite how busy the marketplace is. The chef knows your order without even asking, and you're left with a few minutes to take in the atmosphere while he prepares it. Once the shops shut for the day, street food vendors move in with their carts, and the square fills with academy students and jonin and civilians alike. You spy the old man who runs the grocery store, the blacksmith's apprentice who makes the best kunai, and an old classmate's new wife looking incredibly pregnant. You'll have to drop by and offer them your congratulations soon, you note - it seems like only yesterday you were dragging Kurenai onto the dance floor at their wedding.

The ramen is good, as always, and you slurp it down noisily, as always. You're halfway through a mouthful of boiled egg when you get the feeling you're being watched. Your first instinct is to look over at the old woman next to you, apologise for eating too loudly - but she's unbothered, her nose buried in a gardening book. Huh. You suppose it could have just been someone in the market recognising you. The prickling on the back of your neck disappears just as fast as it came, so you go back to your meal. 

When the time comes to pay, you find yourself having to dig around in your coin purse for an embarrassingly long time. "Sorry...", you laugh, finally fishing out enough money to put down on the counter. "I guess it's time I take my team on another mission, right?". The chef smiles wordlessly and hands you a tub containing a few dango sticks; he's never been much for chat, but you've always tried anyway and it seems he enjoys it more than he's let on. 

That sensation strikes you again when you duck out of the stand, and you know that someone is trying very hard to keep their eyes on you through the crowd. There's a kunai under your sweater, but you don't reach for it just yet. It could very well just be a civilian who has had a few too many drinks and doesn't realise how much he's staring, you reason. You just hope whoever it is doesn't follow you. God... You just want to eat your snack in peace.

Of course they follow you. Of course they do, because Kami forbid you just want one quiet fucking evening. They follow you through six wrong turns, two instances of doubling back on yourself, and even a shortcut through a hedgerow. You finally give up and cast out your chakra in the middle of a small park. Whoever it is obviously hasn't really thought this through, because three distinct chakra signatures slam you in the face without any effort at all. There's one that simmers as if on edge, one bright and bubbly, and-

"Naruto?", you say aloud, turning to see a tuft of yellow hair poking out over a flower bush. A small hand tugs him down and you hear a yelp. Satisfied that whatever's going on here is no threat to you, you shove another dango ball into your mouth. "Get out from behind there, come on."

He pops up, flushed bright red and stammering out excuses. "What a coincidence seeing you here, ne-san! I was just-"

"All of you.", you insist. Naruto's eyes widen comically and his mouth drops open. There's a shuffling from behind the bush, and then a pink-haired girl emerges, managing to look quite dignified if not a little sheepish. She grabs Naruto under the arm and hauls him towards you - then the last one appears, the Uchiha boy, walking five steps behind and clearly trying very hard to look like he has nothing to do with them.

You just stare at them as you chew for a moment, relishing in how each of them blushes slightly. "So, Naruto - did you ever catch that cat?"

His eyes light up at the opportunity to change the subject. "Not yet! Kakashi-sensei told us we had to keep looking until midnight, but he fell asleep, so we snuck away to-"

The pink-haired girl elbows him in the ribcage. "We were just coming to get some food to take back and share with Kakashi-sensei.", she finishes, smiling sweetly at you. "Naruto said he recognised you and wanted to say hello!"

"Well, that explains why you were hiding.", you reply. Her eyebrow twitches but she does an impressive job of maintaining her smile. Naruto, on the other hand, dissolves back into frantic excuses.

"I wanted to... to try and scare you, I say-"

"This must be your team, Naruto." You pat him on the shoulder to console him. It's funny teasing these kids, but you're worried he might spontaneously combust in a moment, and you're not really annoyed beyond the distraction from your dessert. "Why don't you introduce us?"

"This is (name)-san!", he half-yells. Naruto then jabs a finger at the Uchiha, who is still staring very hard at the ground. "That's Sasuke! He's in a bad mood because I was faster than him today." You think Sasuke may burn holes into the earth with his eyes.

"And I'm Sakura Haruno!", the girl says. You're starting to recall her more the longer you look at her.

"Sakura... I remember seeing you at the chuunin exams." Your own team had been disqualified in the second round, but you'd still taken them to watch the individual battles. Sakura's smile drops into an expression of disappointment. "I thought you were very brave." 

She preens under the compliment. Naruto, in a fashion which you've already come to predict, starts jumping around and demanding to know why you didn't think he was brave. Sakura smacks him once again - you're really starting to like her. "Just face it, Naruto! I'm braver than you, even a jonin thinks so!"

"A jonin? She doesn't look like one...", Sasuke finally speaks up, dark eyes taking in your outfit and snack with a hint of disdain. Back in your genin days, you had an Uchiha teammate, Ichiro. Sasuke has definitely inherited the clan's talent for withering looks; if you were a different woman, you might have been embarrassed. As it is, you brush the crumbs off the front of your sweater and laugh. Sakura looks as though she might pass out.

"Haaahhhh! Don't be so blunt, Sasuke-kun!"

Well, she definitely has a crush on him. 

Sasuke huffs, and looks you hard in the eye for a moment. "Whatever. I really don't get what all the fuss is about. I'm going home." He vaults up onto the rooftops with a speed surprising for his age, and vanishes into the twilight. Oh, he's an Uchiha, alright.

"You've been making a fuss over me, have you?", you turn back to Naruto, cocking an inquisitive eyebrow. "Surely your sensei won't have been pleased you weren't paying attention to training."

Naruto sniffs. "He's a silly old man who doesn't pay attention himself! He just sat under a tree with his eyes closed for most of it."

Sakura is suddenly inching closer to you, all sweetness and innocence. "Naruto says that you and Kakashi-sensei searched for Tsunade-sama's cat earlier this afternoon, (name)-san..."

You quickly pray that this girl never decides to go into the interrogation unit. It's crystal clear what game she's trying to play. But those seven years in ANBU have left you with, at the very least, a great poker face. You nod and allow her to continue. Naruto leans in conspiratorially as she probes. "He's never told us much about his life. Aaaaand we've never seen him around a woman before... Are you guys maybe-"

Kakashi claps a hand down onto each of their heads and they scream. Sakura goes pink enough to match her hair, and Naruto wraps his hands around Kakashi's wrist, swinging wildly under his grip. He must have shunshined here because even you get a bit of a shock, reflexively starting to reach for your kunai, but you're quickly doubled over with laughter instead. Kakashi catches your eye; you can see him smiling at you through his mask before he spins his students to face him.

"Hello there, Sakura, Naruto.", he says, smile gone and voice expressionless. "I'm very sorry for napping all the way until midnight."

"You didn't-"

Sakura kicks Naruto in the shin. "We're sorry, Kakashi-sensei. We couldn't find the cat and it was Naruto's idea to go home."

Naruto kicks her back. "No, it was Sasuke!"

Kakashi pretends to look around, humming to himself. "Well, that makes sense, since Sasuke is the only one who seems to actually be at home. Can't you see that (name)-san is just trying to have a peaceful evening?"

They both have the good manners to look bashfully at their feet, although you doubt they're really ashamed. You catch Kakashi's eye over their heads and mouth, come on, they're just kids.

He rolls his eye and releases his grip on their heads. Kakashi has a reputation amongst the jonin instructors for being a hardass with his students, but you can see how much he cares for them too, and you try to never judge a sensei's relationship with their team. He seems to have wrangled them pretty well considering how strong each of their personalities are. "Go home and get some sleep. We can start an hour earlier tomorrow because of tonight's antics.", he instructs, smiling at them brightly for the first time. 

They both groan, say a quick goodbye to you, and then walk away griping at each other. Kakashi sighs. "I hope they didn't give you too much trouble."

"Not at all. I actually think they're pretty funny.", you admit. This is more excitement than you'd planned for your evening, but it's nice to see kids being kids (and a pleasant surprise to see Kakashi again, if you're honest). "Especially that crush of Sakura's."

You've both started walking in the direction of the residential sector, feet falling in tandem. "Maa, it's been more troublesome than funny. She's struggled to keep her feelings separate from her performance in the past." 

"Oh, don't be such a cynic, Kakashi! Don't you remember what it was like to be young and in love?", you tease, waving a finger at him. His breath hitches a little bit, you think. "She'll be oblivious to everything else until she's twenty. Has she even realised how much Naruto likes her?"

Kakashi chuckles. "Not yet. Although, I think she has some competition in you."

"Me?", you exclaim, nearly choking on air. "I don't think so. He's met me once and I was literally a mess."

"Teenage minds.", he shrugs. You've reached the point where the path branches off, one street leading to your apartment block and the opposite to Kakashi's - but he doesn't head off just yet, instead choosing to tip his head up and watch the last rays of light warm the top of the Hokage monument. You join him, a strange feeling twisting in your gut when you see that they've started to put up the scaffolding for Tsunade-sama's carving. The street is empty, just you and him and the setting sun.

"Can you blame him?", you ask softly, when the comfortable silence has stretched out for a few long moments. Kakashi tilts his head at you, seemingly coming back to reality. Your mouth starts to curl up into a smirk. "For having a crush on me?"

This time, he blushes fast and hard, all the way up to the tips of his ears. You raise your eyebrows expectantly and cross your arms. Kakashi doesn't say anything, but a tiny wheeze escapes his lips, and his fingers furl and unfurl several times.

You don't let him flounder for too long - this is an objectively nice moment, and you don't want to ruin it by risking him passing out and hitting his head. "Kami, Kakashi, I'm only joking! You've already called me old today, so you can't possibly say anything worse."

Kakashi laughs, a proper one and not his normal quiet chuckle, in a way that has warmth spreading on your cheeks too. You must hold his gaze for just a second too long, because he's quickly turning back to the monument. "Thank you for helping me out with that cat story."

"That's okay. But I have to ask - are you just late to mess with your students?"

"...Sometimes.", he concedes. "But sometimes I'm late for more important reasons."

"Like spending time with an old friend?", you suggest, voice lilting back into light-heartedness. You want so badly to poke him, but hold yourself back on the grounds that you are not Sakura Haruno with her teenage crush. 

"I was thinking something more along the lines of encountering a particularly friendly dog."

You gasp and clutch your hands to your heart. Kakashi turns to you again, eye twinkling under the streetlamps. "Well, that does it! I'm going home. And don't bother using me as an excuse next time you oversleep!"

The sound of his laughter follows you up onto the rooftop - a shorter route home, now that the tiredness of the day is really hitting you. He remains stood in the middle of the empty street, watching you closely, and he's obviously smiling so you feel too bad to rush off without a goodbye. "Goodnight, old man!", you call down.

Kakashi raises one hand in a wave, and you feel his eye on you until you're out of sight, his chakra warm and golden like the sun.

[stevesbipanic]

B!!!!! 5k omg!!!! <3 <3 can I ask for 2. or 40. with angst vibes?? (and also maybe w/ a happy ending?) LOVE U B!!! <3

Thank you Noelle <3

I'm gonna combine them. 2. "What do you want?"/"I want you to choose me!" and 40. Ghost

Steve had a lot of regrets in his life. He regretted his King Steve days, he regretted not saving Barb, he regretted not standing up to his dad sooner, but most of all he regrets his last conversation with Eddie.

He and Eddie had started dating a few months after Vecna, all it took was life-threatening injuries and a speedrun of a sexuality crisis. They were happier than either of them could ever remember and it wasn't long before they moved in together. Eddie still played at the Hideout every Tuesday but now also worked at the garage downtown. Steve was working multiple retail jobs trying to save up for paramedic classes. Nancy and Robin were away at college now, Robin had originally wanted Steve to come with them but understood his need to stay with the kids. Which was the reason Steve was regretting his life now.

Eddie had come home excited, Steve thought it was just the energy of performing following him home, until Eddie told him that an agency wanted to sign the band, wanted to move them to the city, away from Hawkins, away from Steve.

"I thought you'd be happy for me!"

"I am happy for you but don't you think it's kind of sudden, this random man wants your band?"

"That's how the industry works, Steve!"

"So you're just going to pack up and leave, leave me and the kids behind?"

"The kids are almost graduated, Steve, Vecna is gone, the Upside down is gone, why can't you see that, why can't you let yourself be happy!"

"I am happy! Here! With you! What do you want? What do you want from me!?"

"I want you to choose me!"

Steve goes quiet, "I wanted the same things, Eds, clearly, you've made up your mind though." Steve had retreated to their bedroom after that, he heard the front door slam shortly after. Eddie didn't return home and his van was found wrapped around a tree the next morning.

Everything blurred after that, Steve couldn't focus on the days until one night he awoke to a sound in the kitchen. He grabbed his bat and snuck down the hallway towards a weird glow, fearing the supernatural he swung, but his bat just passed straight through.

"Oi Stevie, what the fuck, are you trying to kill me again?"

Steve looked up in surprise and shock, there was Eddie just how he was the day he left, a faint blue glow around his edges and the vision of the fridge seen through him.

"You're a ghost?"

"That's the first thing you say?"

Steve breaks down after that, sobs wracking his body as the spectre tries to comfort him.

"I'm so sorry, Eds, we should've been celebrating that night and instead I chased you out of our home, and then, and then you died and I never got to say how sorry I was and how proud I am of you and how you were right the kids are grown now and we deserve to go be happy and go somewhere I can hold your hand and you can play your music."

The ghost wipes at Steve's tears to no avail, giving him a bittersweet smile, "Tell me that again when you see me, ok?"

Steve is confused before suddenly he's sitting up in his bed again, he hears a sound from the kitchen, and in an eery sense of deja vu, grabs his bat again and moves down the hallway. He doesn't swing this time, instead dropping his bat with a clatter at the vision before him. There's Eddie, very much alive looking equally upset as Steve feels, he jumps at the sound before Steve slams into him wrapping him tightly in a hug and sobbing into his chest.

"Woah, woah sweetheart, it's ok, it's ok, I'm sorry I left but I needed to clear my head but look I'm back, I'm sorry."

"Y-you were dead, you crashed your van," Steve sobs.

"Crashed my van? Stevie did you have a nightmare? Oh sweetheart, no I'm ok, see?"

The edges of sleep clear from his memory now as he realises it was all a dream.

"We should move to California."

Steve never wants to regret the things he says to Eddie ever again.

Prompt List

[mortemoppetere]

[ a letter arrives to the Jones household with a poorly-scrawled ‘EMILIO C.’ on its envelope and no return address. inside the envelope is a note written in very familiar handwriting, and it reads: ]

Never knew how to start a letter. Always felt too formal. So… here it is. 

Figure you’re thinking I’m dead. You’d be right, if not for our mutual [ author paused for a long time before writing the next word ] friend. Alan. Fucker found me in the mountains & hauled me off. The details don’t matter, just thought you'd… wanna know. That I ain’t dead. 

Sorry I walked out on you. I shouldn’t have left it like that. It just hurt, knowing too late I coulda helped. Shoulda told you what I was doing. Shoulda said bye, at least. Hope you can forgive me for that.

We moved far away from that fucking town. Don’t think I’ll ever be back, considering the way I left it. But… I wouldn’t hate seeing you. Whenever you got time, I mean. I got nothing but time these days. Alan sold the realty business, wanted to open up a little game shop here. Fucking dork. [ author was smiling fondly to himself here ] He’s really into these little model towns. Guess there’s some games that use shit like that, and little figurines… anyway. Got me a proper leg. Could run now, if I wanted. Outrun you, I bet. Some kinda fancy eye surgery, too. Can see a little better. I ever tell you I was mostly blind in my good eye? Probably not. Weren’t so good after all. 

Gonna try out this retirement thing for real. If it works for me… could work for you. Think about it. Know you don’t care bout much else outside of those shitstain vampires, but it’d be a crying shame if one of them got you. You got more to live for than that. 

Hope Ophelia stayed with you. Figured she would, she’d taken to you pretty well. If not… she’ll be fine. She’s tougher than she looks. [ author walked away from the letter for days before coming back and continuing this thought ] Didn’t like what I had to do to her. Didn’t wanna hurt her. But… had to deal with her mum. For Desmond. You understand. 

Take care of yourself, you stupid fuckin muppet. I love you.

Rhett

To say that the letter is an unexpected one is an understatement. 

For months, Emilio repeated the same tired mantra: Rhett is dead. If you say a thing enough times, it makes it easier to swallow. You can digest it, you can put it to bed. The words never went down easy, but he said them all the same. Rhett is dead. Rhett is dead. Rhett is dead. 

It was a hollow thing at first; a thing that didn’t feel quite as real as he hoped for it to. He tried to turn it into armor, tried to let it protect him. There was something Rosa told him once, stroking her sleeping son’s hair and looking haunted in a way he wouldn’t understand until his own daughter was born. He watched his sister look anywhere but her child’s face, and when she said, hope will kill you quicker than anything else, he hadn’t understood it. 

Years later, when he dragged himself across a living room already covered in blood, it made much more sense.

It’s better, he knows, to let the terrible thing be true than it is to believe it isn’t. It’s better to accept the blood on the floor before you push the door open, better to understand that corpses are the only thing waiting for you before you hold them in your arms. You can survive the world’s end, but you can’t survive it twice. You can’t hold hope in your throat without choking on the pieces when it shatters like glass inside of you. 

As time went on, as he learned more about what happened to Rhett, the words became easier to digest. Rhett is dead, he told himself, and he was angry. He loved the anger, he nurtured it. Anger was so much easier to carry. Rhett is dead, he thought, looking at his niece’s anguished face, and it’s okay. Maybe it’s better. He knew it was a shitty thing to think. He knew he was a shitty brother. But, Christ, wasn’t shitty better than shattered? 

And then, there was that stupid letter.

He recognizes the handwriting on the front the moment he sees it, just as he had in the living room when Ophelia showed him the note that chronicled her mother’s death. The scrawl is so familiar that he often wonders if it’s written on his lungs, if it’s carved into him in a way only he could ever see. 

He spends a long time just staring at it. He hovers over the garbage can, ready to toss it without reading it at all, but he can’t bring himself to do it. He tells himself he wants closure. He tells himself he needs the truth. He tells himself the letter will change something. He knows none of this is strictly true.

The envelope is opened slowly, and with trembling hands. There’s no one there to see it, and he’s glad for that. He feels weaker in this moment than he has in a long time. He clutches that letter with one hand and a bottle with the other, and he knows one is a crutch and the other is a weight but he isn’t sure which is which. 

It’s the handwriting that strikes him first, just as it was with Ophelia’s letter. He sees it and, in an instant, he’s back in Mexico. He’s watching Flora unfold a secret note that she doesn’t know how to read, he’s laughing as she thrusts it into his hand and orders him to tell her what it says. He’s looking Rhett in the eye across the table, he’s telling her it says something stupid like tío Rhett smells bad or papi is more handsome than tío Rhett, he’s laughing at his brother’s outraged protests. 

He sucks a breath as the world comes back to itself. He’s not in Mexico. He’s alone in a kitchen that still doesn’t feel like his. That little girl is gone, and Rhett isn’t dead but Emilio still isn’t sure if that’s a good thing. Rhett isn’t dead, but everyone else is. Is that any better?

He reads the letter slowly. The page blurs more than once. His face is wet, and he pretends it’s sticky sweat instead of what it is. He tries to imagine Alan peeling his brother off the side of a mountain, half dead. He tries to decide if it was a good deed or a sin. He thinks of Ophelia on the couch, her world shattered by a letter so much like this one. He takes a swig from the bottle.

His chest hurts. Rhett is happy, maybe, or as close to it as people like them ever can be. He got his eye fixed, and Emilio was too shitty a brother to ever even realize it needed fixing to begin with. He got a new leg, and maybe he could outrun Emilio with it, because the flesh and blood one he dragged out of Mexico seems to get worse and worse with each sorry step he takes on it these days. 

Rhett is retiring, he says, and he thinks Emilio should do the same as if it’s ever been an option for him, as if there’s any part of him that isn’t just a hunter. Blades don’t retire; they rust and fall apart and are thrown away. Emilio wants to scream. He wants to rip the letter into pieces the moment he sees Ophelia’s name, wants to march off to wherever his brother is now and shake him or punch him or never speak to him again. 

It hurts, he realizes. He wasn’t sure he fully understood it before, but it hits him now. It hurts. Rhett had everything Emilio lost in Mexico. He had a daughter who loved him, who looked at him like he hung the fucking sun. His daughter’s mother was wary, but she was willing to forgive. (Would Juliana?) He’d had everything Emilio found bleeding on that living room floor almost three years ago now, and he’d tossed it away like it was nothing. Was that a forgivable thing? Was vengeance for something that happened decades ago worth losing what he’d had in the moment?

It’s hard, then, not to think of his own vengeance. Emilio knows he won’t make it decades. He knows he won’t be looking back on this moment twenty years from now, knows he’ll be bones and dust and less than a memory by then, but he wonders about it all the same. Could he give up his vengeance for anything? For Teddy, for Nora, for Wynne? For himself, someday? He knows the answer. He always has. Vengeance beats in his chest like a second heart. Maybe it was the same for Rhett.

He sits in the floor for a long time, just holding that stupid letter. He stares at it until the world fades out of focus, until he’s looking without really seeing. He breaks the bottle at some point; he’s not sure when, but the shards of glass slice into his palm, and he thinks he likes it more than he should. He wants to get up and get another bottle to drain, but his leg hurts. Everything hurts.

So, Rhett is alive. And it should put the world back together, but he feels like it breaks it all over again. It’s hard, he thinks, when a thing is true for so long and stops being true all at once. It’s hard to think something for so long and then be told that reality is something else. It feels like a loss he doesn’t have a name for; a grief he can’t quite compute. 

After a while, he gets his feet beneath him again. He stands over the garbage, he hovers there for a moment. He wills his fingers to loosen, but they maintain their death grip on the page. The paper is rumpled, and he can’t remember if it started that way. There’s a little bit of blood on the page. He thinks it looks like it’s supposed to be there.

He doesn’t throw the letter away, even if he thinks he should. He doesn’t show it to Teddy, either. It feels like a secret, the way he sneaks it into the craft room, the way he folds it up into something tiny and puts it behind Flora’s photo on the table that will serve as their ofrenda in a few short months. He stares at the photo after, at the little girl who read so many secret notes with breathless giggles.

Is it fair to wonder if he’d give up his vengeance for her when she is the one he’s avenging? It’s a question without an answer. It’s not an understandable thing. He asks it anyway, turns it over in his mind. It makes his head hurt, but it’s the kind of pain he welcomes. It takes his focus off his leg, his chest, his everything. He tries to chew on it a while longer.

He leaves the craft room, eventually. He feels like he’s sneaking around, like he’s afraid of being caught even if he doesn’t know who would catch them or why it would be a thing to fear. The world is heavy on his shoulders.

He gets another drink.

[hornyhornyhimbos]

babeeesss so i got two new tats today and now I'm thinking about Eddie being with you and whispering praise in your ear as the artist keeps going. God just imagine him saying 19 & i think 20 on the promot list while you're just like "stop, not here not right now" THAT FUCKER KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT HEA DOING AND IT LEADS TO A HOT AND HEAVY MAKE OUT IN THE BACK OF THE VAN

this was really fun to write hehehe, also i hope the tattoo scene is somewhat accurate, i am still a tat virgin 🥲

pov: eddie, the boob man, is obsessed with your new underboob tattoo ♡

18+ duh, reader gets a tattoo so mentions of needles, there is a scene of eddie playing with reader's boobs, fingering f!receiving, explicit language, 1.6K words oops, beta read by @dungeons-are-too-cold

"you're doing so well, baby," eddie whispered, meeting your cheek for the softest kiss imaginable.

"eddie, she literally just put the stencil on," you sassed.

"see? you're doing great already. someone i know once ran out of the tattoo shop before he ever finished signing the safety waiver."

you smirked, holding back a series of laughs. "did his name happen to be teddy bunson?"

eddie’s lips scrunched into a thin line, his expression one of slight indignation. still, he leaned down and left a kiss to your hair, whispering, "something like that."

soon enough, the tattoo artist had finished cleaning her tools and was ready to 'ink you up' as she'd called it earlier. for someone covered in ink and piercings herself, her personality read one and the same with a unicorn.

the machine came to life with a string of vibrations. you were sure your heart was buzzing in time with it. the artist leaned over your midsection and looked up at you with an eager smile.

"now, i need you to breathe your nose for this part, ok?" she instructed, easing the tattoo gun ever so closer to your skin.

you nodded, watching as the needles pressed into your skin. you released a steady breath, settling into the pain. a good pain, you told yourself.

"and we have contact!" the artist said with a giggle, still intently focused on her work.

eddie bent down close to your ear, and by the smirk on his lips, you already knew that whatever was about to come out of his mouth would make you either blush or want to scream at him, probably both. "breathe through your nose for this part. now, where have you heard that before?"

ok, maybe he'd make you want to do some other third thing: suffocate him with your bare hands.

the artist must've heard or gathered what eddie whispered, because you could see the outline of her teeth clamping down on the inside of her mouth as she held back a laugh. she knows eddie too well, you thought to yourself.

"edwin, can you at least try to act civilized?" you tried to scold, though you were pretty sure it sounded more like begging.

the pain ramped up as the gun glided across your sternum. "shit," you exhaled a breath you didn't know you'd been holding.

"funny. that's usually the word that follows my instructions too."

every curl, every strand of hair, you wanted so desperately to rip it off his head and feed it to him.

"eddie, if i make it out alive after this, i'm gonna kill you," you said. promised, even.

the tattoo artist let out a chuckle. "trust me, it's definitely not the worst i've heard. you'd be surprised at the things i've heard guys say when they watch their girlfriends get sternum tats."

"she's right, you know," eddie said with a pout. it was one you wanted to simultaneously kiss and smack off his face. "you can't expect me to act normal when your pretty titties are out on display like that."

if you had the physical strength to facepalm, you would've, but by this point, the pain was becoming a little too overwhelming for you to talk or move through, so you settled for a world-record-breaking eye roll.

"that's why i don't usually let boyfriends in for sternum tats. i remember now," the artist said through chuckles, not once looking up from her work. "you're lucky eddie is a friend of mine."

about four hours had gone by, filled with nearly unbearable pain and absolutely unbearable annoyance, driven by eddie of course, when the artist was finally finished with your tattoo. you nearly cried at how beautiful her work had turned out, and when you turned to look at eddie, he wore a matching face of sheer excitement and shock.

it was two little vines of wildflowers under each of your breasts, met in the middle by a poppy on your lower sternum. poppies were eddie's birth month flower, but they had also been your favorite since childhood, so you figured if things went south for you and eddie (even though you highly doubted they would), you wouldn't have such a hard time separating the two from each other.

after she'd told you all about how to properly care for it and you'd said your thank yous and goodbyes, eddie led you out to the van, pecking soft kisses on your ear every couple feet.

"what are you doing?" you asked, an eyebrow cocking upward as he pulled you toward the back of the van.

he swiftly opened the white doors before gripping your waist, lifting you into his 'miniature man cave' as you'd deemed it. "getting a better look at that tattoo."

while the outside of the van may have been freshly painted white, the inside was everything but. the previously beige carpet had been ripped out and replaced with shaggy, orange carpet. a tiny, blue bin filled with throw pillows and blankets sat in the corner, next to eddie's emergency water bottle stash. mini brown curtains with groovy flowers hung over the windows, the tops decorated with beaded valances you'd helped eddie string together.

he pushed you back against the shabby carpet, pulling himself in behind you and closing the van doors with a loud slam. eddie made grabby hands at your oversized shirt like a child, but you weren't giving in that easily.

"eddie, i can't believe how you acted in there," you scoffed, your arms crossing lightly so as to not touch your chest. "you were childish. and an asshole."

he pouted, his eyes darting away from you. "i'm sorry. i just couldn't help myself though. you have such beautiful tits, how could i resist?"

"well, i'm not sure if you were aware, but we were in public," you scolded. "you could've at least tried to act like you have some decency."

he hovered over you, leaving kisses all over your neck. "next time, i'll look away, i promise. or better yet, i'll cover them so i can't see them. how's that sound?"

something close to annoyance bubbled under your skin. "you'll just look for any excuse to touch my tits, won't you?"

his lips met the crook of your neck again, sucking hard enough that you were sure it would leave a bruise later. "maybe," he pouted, releasing his lips from your skin.

his hands glided down to the hem of your shirt, tugging lightly at the ends of it. "do you mind," he paused, running a thumb along one of your love handles, "if i take a closer look at your new ink, baby?"

you nodded your head, letting out a sigh. "go ahead, love."

he slowly peeled the cotton over your head, his cock becoming hard as your tattoo came into view. he was careful not to touch it, careful around the plastic wrap that sat on your skin, but gently let his hands slip up to your breasts. his cold fingertips met your perky nipples as he sighed. "beautiful. absolutely fucking beautiful."

his fingers moved in gentle circles over your tits, occasionally pinching and flicking at them the way he knew you loved. "i know this was your first tattoo, but i hope to hell it wasn't your last, babe. i think i'd die a happy man just seeing your beautiful skin covered in ink."

eddie sunk his mouth onto one of your nipples, the other still sensitive under his touch. he pulled off your boob with a pop before asking, "mind if i stay like this for a while?"

heat pooled in your stomach as he licked and nipped at your boob. "go ahead. i'll die a happy woman seeing you like this."

as he continued to work at your tits, a nagging desire popped into your mind, and it seemed almost involuntary as your hand slid down your body. you stalled around your thighs, dragging small circles on your skin, before dipping under the waistbands of your sweatpants and panties.

he hadn't even noticed it until you let out an unintended, "fuck, eds."

eddie moved his hand from your boob down to your arm, pulling your hand swiftly out of your clothes. all he said was, "mine," before replacing your hand with his own, moving his opposite hand back to your neglected nipple.

his rough fingers inched inside your cunt. hearing your slick squelching against the digits as his mouth worked at your breast, occasionally leaving bites and nips at the hardened bud, it was driving you absolutely crazy.

his fingers pumped against your g-spot, and you were close, really close. "oh, fuck, eddie. please," you whimpered, your hands gripping the carpet so hard, you were sure you would rip it out when you released it.

eddie didn't say anything, just kept on what he was doing. his rings were cold against you, adding to your sensitivity. as he thrusted his fingers harder, you couldn't get enough of it.

"yes, yes, yes," you repeated, and as his mouth clamped down on your tit once again, the coil in your stomach snapped and your orgasm rushed through your veins.

his fingers pumped even faster as they worked you through your high, and the only thing you could manage was, "fuck, eddie!" as he trailed his mouth from your tit to your lips, a delicious string of spit trailing up your body.

he let go of your lips, long enough to let you catch your breath. a cheeky smile came over his face as he said, "gorgeous. absolutely gorgeous, baby."

you attempted to catch your breath, watching as his hands went back to playing with your breasts. "oh, eddie," you sighed, your eyes glazed over and focused on one thing: him.

"so pretty," he said, his mouth meeting your tit again. he kissed them gently, making sure not to work them too hard. "can't believe you didn't get one of these tats sooner, baby."

-> taglist: @dungeons-are-too-cold @rupsmorge @esoltis280

[ofaflower]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐏𝐎𝐄𝐓𝐒 𝐃𝐄𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 - 𝐓𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐎𝐑 𝐒𝐖𝐈𝐅𝐓

The following are lyric based starters from Taylor Swift's eleventh studio album, The Tortured Poets Department (Standard Version). Mature subjects implied within, so please use with caution. Feel free to change pronoun usage as needed. Minor edits may appear to sound more natural for dialogue. Link to 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐘.

FORTNIGHT (FT. POST MALONE)

i was supposed to be sent away, but they forgot to come and get me

i was a functioning alcoholic

nobody noticed my new aesthetic

all of this to say, i hope you're okay

you're the reason

no one here's to blame

what about your quiet treason?

we were forever

your wife waters flowers

i wanna kill her

i took the miracle move on drug, the effects were temporary

i love you, it's ruining my life

my husband is cheating, i wanna kill him

it won't start up

THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT

you left your typewriter at my apartment

straight from the tortured poets department

who uses typewriters anyway?

you're in self sabotage mode

i've seen this episode, still i love the show

who else decodes you?

who's gonna hold you like me?

who's gonna know you, if not me?

you're not dylan thomas, i'm not patti smith

this ain't the chelsea hotel

we're modern idiots

nobody, no fucking body

i chose this cyclone with you

sometimes i wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me

you told lucy you'd kill yourself if i ever leave

i felt seen

everyone we know understands why we're meant to be - cause we're crazy

you took my ring off my middle finger and put it on the one people put wedding rings on - and that's the closest i've come to my heart exploding

MY BOY ONLY BREAKS HIS FAVOURITE TOYS

oh, here we go again...

the voices in his head called the rain to end our days of wild

you should've seen him when he first got me

my boy only breaks his favourite toys

i'm queen of sandcastles he destroys

i should've known it was a matter of time

there was a litany of reasons why we could've played for keeps this time

i know i'm just repeating myself

he runs because he loves me

once i fix me, he's gonna miss me

just say when, i'd play again

you were my best friend

you told me i'm better off, but i'm not

DOWN BAD

did you really beam me up, in a cloud of sparkling dust, just to do experiments on?

you told me i was the chosen one

you showed me this world was bigger than us, then sent me back where i came from

for a moment, i new cosmic love

fuck it if i can't have him

i might just die, it would make no difference

come back and pick me up

fuck it if i can't have us

i might just not get up, i might stay down bad

did you take all my old clothes?

my same old town, somehow feels so hollow now

they'll say i'm nuts if i talk about the existence of you

for a moment i was heaven struck

i loved your hostile takeovers

how can you say that it's over?

how dare you think it's romantic, leaving me safe and stranded

fuck it, i was in love

fuck you if i can't have us

SO LONG, LONDON

so long, london

i saw, in my mind, fairy lights through the mist

i kept calm and carried the weight of the rift

i pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away

i stopped trying to make you laugh

how much sad did you think i had in me?

oh, the tragedy

you'll find someone

i didn't opt in to be your odd man out

i founded the club you've heard great things about

i left all i knew, then you left me at the house by the heath

i stopped cpr, after all it's no use

i'm pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free

i'll find someone

you say i abandoned the ship, but i was going down with it with my white knuckle iron grip holding tight to your quiet resentment

it isn't right to be scared everyday of a love affair

every breath feels like rarest air when you're unsure if he wants to be there

just how long did you think i'd go before i self-implode and have to go free?

you swore that you loved me, but where were the clues?

i died on the alter waiting

you sacrificed us to the blue of your darkest days

i'm just getting colour back into my face

i'm just mad as hell cause i loved this place for so long

we had a good run

a moment of sun

i'm not the one

BUT DADDY I LOVE HIM

i forget how the west was won

i forget if this was ever fun

i just learned these people only raise you to cage you

what a mess

these people try and "save you", cause they hate you

they slammed the door on my whole world and the one thing i wanted

but daddy i love him

i'm having his baby - no i'm not, but you should see your faces

i'm having his baby

floor it through the fences

no, i'm not "coming to my senses"

i know he's crazy but he's the one i want

all my plans were laid

growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all

stay away from her

i'll tell you something right now, i'd rather burn my whole life down than listen to one more second of all this bitching and moaning

let me tell you about my good name, it's mine alone to disgrace

i dont' cater to all these vipers dressed in empath's clothing

god save the most judgmental creeps

you ain't gotta pray for me

fuck 'em - it's over

time, doesn't it give some perspective?

no, you can't come to the wedding

FRESH OUT THE SLAMMER

now pretty baby, i'm running back home to you

fresh out the slammer, i know who my first call will be to

he don't understand me

you were with me in dreams

it's gonna be alright, i did my time

i was handcuffed to the spell i was under

now i know better and i'll never lose my baby again

all those nights, you kept me going

you weaved me into all of your poems

no matter what i've done - it wouldn't matter away

ain't no way i'm gonna screw up now that i know what's at stake here

FLORIDA!!! (FEAT. FLORENCE + THE MACHINE)

you can beat the heat if you beat the charges too

they said i was cheat, so i guess it must be true

my friends all smell like weed or little babies

the city reeks of driving myself crazy

little did you know, your home's really only a town you're just a guest in

packed my life away just stay in a timeshare down in destin, florida

florida is one hell of a drug

florida will use you up

i got drunk and dared it wash me away

me and my ghosts, we had a hell of a time

yes, i'm haunted but i'm feeling just fine

all of my girls have got their lace and their crimes

your cheating husband disappeared?

well, no one asks any questions here

i did my best to lay to rest all of the bodies that'd ever been on my body where in my mind they sink into the swamp

is that a bad thing to say in a song?

i need to forget

take me to florida

i've got some regrets, i'll bury them in florida

tell me i'm despicable, say it's unforgivable

at least the dolls were beautiful

fuck me up, florida

GUILTY AS SIN?

he sent me "downtown lights", i hadn't heard it in a while

my boredom's bone deep

this cage was once just fine

am i allowed to cry?

i dream of cracking locks and throwing my life to the wolves - or the ocean rocks

i'm seeing visions

am i bad or mad or wise?

what if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh, only in my mind?

oh, what a way to die

i keep recalling things we never did

how i long for our tryst

without ever touching your skin, how can i be guilty as sin?

i keep these longings locked in lowercase inside a vault

someone told me: there's no such thing as bad thoughts - only your actions talk

we've already done it in my head

if it's make believe, why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow?

my bedsheets were ablaze, i screamed your name

what if i roll the stone away?

they're gonna crucify me anyway?

what if the way you hold me is actually what's holy?

if long suffering propriety is what they want from me, they don't know how you've haunted me so suddenly

i choose you and me, religiously

WHO'S AFRAID OF LITTLE OLD ME?

the who's who of "who's that?" - is poised for the attack

my bare hands paved their path

you don't get to tell me about sad

if you wanted me dead, you should've just said

nothing makes me feel more alive

she'll leap from the gallows and levitate down our street

who's afraid of little old me?

the scandal was contained

the bullet had just grazed

at all costs, keep your good name

you don't get to tell me you feel bad

is it a wonder i broke? let's hear one more joke then we can all just laugh until i cry

i was tame, i was gentle til the circus life made me mean

don't you worry folks, we took out all her teeth

who's afraid of little old me? you should be

so tell me everything is not about me - but what if it is?

they say they didn't do it to hurt me - but what if they did?

i wanna snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me

you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

all your kids can sneak into my house with all the cobwebs

i'm always drunk on my own tears, isn't that what they all say?

i'll sue you if you step on my lawn

i'm fearsome, and i'm wretched, and i'm wrong

i put narcotics into all of my songs, that's why you're still singing along

you lured me, you caged me, and you taught me

you caged me then called me crazy

i am what i am cause you trained me

who's afraid of me?

I CAN FIX HIM (NO REALLY, I CAN)

the jokes he told across the bar were revolting and way too loud

god help her

he's my man

but your good lord doesn't need to lift a finger

i can i fix him, no really - i can

the dopamine raced through his brain on a six-lane texas highway

i could see it from a mile away

you're a perfect case for my certain skill set

he had a halo of the highest grade

he just hadn't met me yet

i can fix him

only i can

good boy, that's right - come close

i'll show you heaven if you'll be an angel all night

trust me, i can handle me a dangerous man

whoa, maybe i can't...

loml

who's gonna stop us from falling back into rekindled flames if we know the steps anyway?

we embroidered memories of my time away, stitching "we were just kids babe"

i don't mind, it takes time

thought that i was better safe than starry-eyed

i felt aglow like this - never before and never since

if you know it in one glimpses, it's legendary

you and i went from one kiss to getting married

you low down boy, you stand up guy

you told me i'm the love of your life about a million times

who's gonna tell me the truth when you blew in with the winds of fate, saying i had reformed you?

your impressionist paintings of us turned out to be fakes

well, you dragged me to hell too

a con man sells a fool a get-love-quick scheme

i felt a hole, like this - never before and ever since

what we thought was for all time, was temporary

mister "steal your girl, and make her cry"

you said i'm the love of your life

you shit talked me under tables, talking rings and talking cradles

i wish i could un-recall how we almost had it all

are they second-hand embarrassed?

i can't get out of bed cause something counterfeit's dead

it was legendary

it was momentary

it was unnecessary

should've let us stay buried

what a valiant roar

what a bland goodbye

the coward claimed he was a lion

i'll never leave

never mind

i'll still see it til i die

you're the loss of my life

I CAN DO IT WITH A BROKEN HEART

i can read your mind

she's having the time of her life

in her glittering prime the light refracts sequin stars off her silhouette every night

i can show you lies

i'm a real tough kid

i can handle my shit

they said "fake it til you make it", and i did

lights, camera, bitch, smile - even when you wanna die

he said he'd love me all his life - but that life was quite short

all the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting more

i can do it with a broken heart

i'm so depressed, i act like it's my birthday everyday

i'm so obsessed with him but he avoids me like the plague

i cry alot, but i am so productive - it's an art

you know you're good when you can even do it with a broken heart

i can hold my breath, i've been doing it since you left

i'm sure i can pass this test

he said he'd love me for all time but that time was quite short

i'm miserable and nobody even knows!

THE SMALLEST MAN WHO EVER LIVED

was any of it true?

gazing at me starry-eyed in your jehovah's witness suit, who the fuck was that guy?

he tried to buy some pills from a friend of friends of mine

they just ghosted you, now you know what it feels like

i don't even want you back, i just want to know if rusting my sparkling summer was the goal?

i don't miss what we had but could someone give a message to the smallest man who ever lived?

you hung me on your wall, stacked me with your push pins where in public you showed me off - then sank to stoned oblivion

once your queen had come, you treat her like an also-ran

you didn't measure up in any measure of a man

were you sent by someone who wanted me dead?

did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed?

were you writing a book?

were you a sleeper cell spy?

in fifty years, will all this be declassified and you'll confess why you did it

good riddance

it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden

i would have died for your sins, instead i just died inside

you deserve prison but you won't get time

you'll slide into inboxes and slip through the bars

you crashed my party and your rental car

you said normal girls were boring, but you were gone by the morning

in plain sight you hid

you are what you did

i'll forget you but i'll never forgive the smallest man who ever lived

THE ALCHEMY

this happens once every few lifetimes

what if i told you i'm back?

the hospital was a drag, worst sleep that i ever had

i haven't come around in so long, but i'm coming back so strong

so when i touch down, call the amateurs and cut them from the team

ditch the clowns, get the crown

baby, i'm the one to beat

the sign on your heart says it's still reserved for me

honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?

hey you, what if i told you we're cool? that child's play back in school is forgiven under my rule

i'm making a comeback to where i belong

these blokes warm the benches

we've been on a winning streak

he jokes that it's "heroin", but this time with an "E"

there's no chance try to beat the greatest in the league?

where's the trophy?

CLARA BOW

you look like clara bow in this light, remarkable

all your life, did you know you'd be picked, like a rose?

i'm not trying to exaggerate - but i think i might die if it happened to me

no one in my small town thought i'd see the lights of manhattan

this town is fake, but you're the real thing

a breath of fresh air through smoke rings

take the glory

give everything

promise to be dazzling

you look like stevie nicks in '75, the hair and lips

the crowd goes wild at your fingertips

i think i might if i made it

no one in my small town thought i'd meet these suits in L.A.

beauty is a beast that roars down on all fours demanding more

only when your girlish glow flickers just so, do they let you know

it's hell on earth to be heavenly

them's the breaks they don't come gently

you look like taylor swift in this light, we're loving it

you've got edge, she never did

the future's bright

dazzling