#you're both MISERABLE

[citroncynique]

but do you truly hate him more than you hate yourself?

canto 5 keeps feeding me. I love me some good ambiguous dialogue where you can infer that ish is either reciprocating heath's negative feelings or admitting that she also dislikes herself. 10/10. good food. I'm so happy with how these two are being written and developed.

[sidetongue]

this beautiful idiot went to live with someone else and honestly, both of our QOL are much better HAHA

[lightningidle]

Fig's line "I don't think I'm an artist, I think I'm just a good friend" has not left my head at all. Just...

You're Fig Faeth and your horns came in over the summer and you pick up the bard class as a form of adolescent rock 'n' roll rebellion, and it works! It's exactly the outlet you need! You give a guy you just met drumsticks and you start a band and it's good enough that within a year and a half you're touring. You are, in every sense, good at being a bard.

And then, finally, your junior year, you start to take it seriously. Your art goes from an outlet and a form of rebellion to a practice. A discipline. (Can rebellion exist within a discipline?) Your classmates know what they want to do with their work. They all have a thesis statement. And yeah, there's cohesion in the music you make, but you've never had to think about why you make it. You've never sat down and dissected what it is about bass that speaks to you. You've never poured over your lyrics to pick at any deeper meaning. Why should you? You don't play music for a grand design, you do it to... huh, why do you do it?

(Your art is the one form of self-expression that feels as safe as Disguise Self does, because even if you're pouring your heart onto the page and then screaming it in front of thousands of people, it's not like you're really making yourself known. You can sing I'm lonely, I'm scared, I'm furious, and your fans will sing it right back, and there will still be the distance between performer and audience to keep your heart safe.)

Now you're being asked to look inward to explain the artistic choices you're making, and you can't help but recoil at that, because you'd rather do anything than look inward. Meanwhile, your classmates have no problem with it, so you start to wonder if you're a real artist at all. Can your art be authentic if it only exists to bolster a thesis statement? Has your art been unauthentic this whole time because you've never really thought about a thesis statement before? Is that what makes it art, and not just the next track on somebody's teen angst playlist?

You can't think about yourself— acknowledging your own existence makes you want to puke. So if your music is an extension of yourself, (and it is, even if it's just because the spotlight reveals only what you want it to,) you can't think about your music. You can't. You have to. Your grade depends on it.

You're Fig Faeth, and you keep multiclassing because you'd rather be a good friend than a great artist. If introspection is what great art demands, then fuck it. You must not be a bard at all.

[bumblingbabooshka]

His name is Spring and when Amandus told him that that was a season on Earth he stared at him blankly until he changed the subject [didn't know how to respond] [Patreon | Commissions]

[doberbutts]

If I had a nickel for every time I helped a Japanese client at my job, and in helping revealed that I speak [some, limited] Japanese, and in doing so their entire demeanor changed and they began to smile and gesture excitedly as we had a [relatively short] conversation in Japanese, I'd have two nickels.

Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it's happened twice.

[irregularbillcipher]

i was thinking about that one au i mentioned a while ago of "human bill redemption happens but kryptos actually gets humanized and tossed into gravity falls first" which i said was mostly an excuse to have some wild character interactions but also. oh my god kryptos and ford's dynamic would be So Much

like ford sees this dude who is so attached to bill and is convinced that somehow bill cares about him and even that bill loves him which is So Obviously Incorrect and is just understandably projecting so hard onto this dude that he basically sees as a mistreated devotee. so he's trying so hard to not snap at kryptos no matter how awful he's being and to not be cruel to him and to try to get him to understand how awful bill is because he really just sees him as someone who Just Doesn't Understand how bad bill was; he sees him as a victim bill couldn't have cared about it because the idea of him being anything else is messy and terrifying. he doesn't want to grapple with the idea that bill could care about someone genuinely, he doesn't want to deal with the idea that bill could hold fondness for people

the realization that bill was a manipulator who never had his best interests at heart and never really cared about him was so important to his healing process and he shouldn't have to dissect the internal motivations of his abuser! and he's right, he shouldn't, but now there's this guy here who claims that bill cares about him and he can't stop projecting. because if he takes kryptos at his word then he acknowledges that bill could care for people and either he wasn't good enough for someone claiming to be a friend to care about, or worse, bill did care about him in some way and still treated him that awfully

and if he doesn't believe kryptos? then kryptos is yet another victim of bill's manipulation in which case ford just can't find it in himself, with the guy powerless and confused in a new form and a dimension he doesn't really know, to ignore him and cast him to the side. he shouldn't be responsible for bill's awfulness and he knows that, but he can't abandon someone he sees as a victim of bill when the guy is right in front of him and saying stuff that makes his stomach churn

and then there's kryptos who just hates ford so fucking much. and he has no right to! he has absolutely no right to, he's fucking deranged for being angry at the guy bill abused for... being abused by bill and not being okay with it but kryptos sucks!!! he's not a good person!!! and Nobody Gets Bill Like He Does and he's so angry that this guy who knew him for less than a fucking mortal lifespan is claiming to know his closest friend for literally trillions of years better than he does, to know what their relationship actually was better than he does

and he's quieter about it than he wants to be because he's at the mercy of the pineses and doesn't want to snap too much and risk his very mortal self but he's passive aggressive and plants all these doubts in ford's head because god ford, he liked you, don't you know how rare it is for him to like you? and you killed him anyway, you're really alright with looking at someone who liked you and helping to kill them? and you're really gonna tell me that the only person who ever actually loved me didn't really love me, what's wrong with you? is that supposed to help me? that the only person who ever cared about me was apparently lying? that's supposed to make me less miserable? maybe when bill told you that nobody else actually cared about you it was a lie but it wasn't a lie for me and i know that because he was the first person to ever be nice to me. great that you had your brothers, great that you had your ma, great that you had fiddleford-- i didn't. good for you that you had a few people in your life before him who cared about you, i didn't. he was the first person who cared and the only one who stuck around-- i remember what our mortal lives were like, and he couldn't get anything out of me by keeping me around, there was nothing he could have been using me for, so don't assume our relationships were the same. stop trying to make this easy for yourself-- bill loved me, he liked you, and you don't get to make this easy for yourself by saying he just wasn't capable of it

and it's just through passing, biting, mostly-calm-sounding comments every so often, conversations where kryptos doesn't even raise his voice, but he doesn't let up, because he's just so unjustifiably angry at this guy for being worried for him and for hating bill

[bunnihearted]

🐰🌧️

[rivalsforlife]

this website gets so excited about october every year while I'm sitting here absolutely dreading the return of snow

[airyairyaucontraire]

re: Bill the malcontent in NASA mission control: nobody's MAKING you work at NASA mission control, Bill. You can always quit your job at NASA mission control, Bill. I'm sure there are at least several people who'd apply to fill that vacancy at NASA mission control, Bill.

[phoenixcatch7]

If there's one thing I like more than time travel it's crossover reincarnation, so.

Botk link reincarnated as Damian Wayne.

An incredible weapon master of all types, but especially prodigious with a sword - he was beating knights at the age of 4 and with his memories as intact as they get for him I can see that goalpost moving even further (probably with traps and tricks, a 3yo doesn't exactly have great bodily control).

He's an excellent survivalist, agile, strong, durable, cunning and creative. He can move like a feather in the breeze, strike from behind with ease. His first kill, an animal, did not stir him as it did the other children. With his poise, grace, skills, obedience, he ought to be ra'as' finest assassin in the making, a jewel in the crown of the league.

Except he never speaks a word. Half his targets escape unscathed. He skates by true punishment on the merit of his skills and achievements in other missions. Testing has shown it is not a physical deformity that prevents his speech, but not even talia has been able to coaxe a word from him past his second birthday.

It is a defect ra'as is growing more and more frustrated by, as each attempt to fix these two final flaws ends in resounding failure. Less extreme solutions are running dry.

Talia fears those solutions. Her child does too, she knows. For them, there is a possible solution, more extreme than anything ra'as would tolerate.

She sends him out of the league. To his father.

To Gotham.

[bitchthefuck1]

one thing about me is that I'm never not gonna be obsessed with soulmates as a horror concept

[katierosefun]

i'm going to be seeing hadestown apparently, and i can't wait to sob my eyes out like a baby in front of my mom

[glitterandmoondustofficial]

Side to Side

Chapter 248: Love Goes On and On

Notes:

Characters: Law, Penguin Rating: Teen Warnings: language Notes: THAT’S RIGHT ANOTHER UPDATE!!!! Anyway here’s what Law has been thinking about.

Law stared up at his ceiling in the dead of night, thinking of his conversation with Ruby. He was wide awake after that question.

“Do you love me?”

What a fucking question.

She had been drinking, too. He could hear it in her voice. And she was miserable, that was unmistakable. 

She was doubting his love for her. It hurt him more than angered him. Of course he loved her! He loved her more than…more than…

Well he loved her more than himself, at least. Far more.

He knew he hadn’t always been good to her. He knew that he could be a complete asshole to her and she had given him far more chances than he truly deserved. He also knew that she was very much out of his league, especially when she always made herself up so beautifully and he looked like he hadn’t slept in days and only had coffee and indeterminate drugs to keep him chugging along.

There were probably tons of men and women in Dressrosa vying for her attention. She probably had already been proposed to. He wouldn’t blame her if she ran off on him, releasing the den den mushi into the wild and leaving him and their plan behind. Maybe she would finally find someone worthy of her, of her smile and her laughter. Someone who didn’t make her cry in despair or anger. Someone who didn’t drag her down into the deep, cold depths of unmistakable fury and sorrow.

She deserved so much better than him.

But he loved her. He loved her so completely, so fully. So deep within his soul that he would never be the same without her, he would never be able to move on. His heart would always be hers, even if she didn’t want it anymore.

He turned on his side and stared at where Ruby should be sleeping. It was her spot. Her pillow was still where it belonged. 

“Law,” Ruby mumbled into her pillow one morning. He hummed and pulled her in closer, burying his face in her thick air. He palmed her stomach, pushing his hand under her tank top. “Why are you still here?” She yawned. “I figured you’d be half a pot of coffee in by now.”

He breathed her in. “I want to spend some time with you,” he admitted.

She grabbed his wrist and pulled his arm around her. He curled into her, kissing the back of her neck through her hair. “I feel so spoiled.”

“You should,” he said with a smile. “I don’t like missing out on the first pot of coffee.”

“Yes, I know. There’s nothing you love more than the first sip of black coffee unspoiled by milk or sugar.”

Law opened his eyes and stared into Ruby’s chocolate brown hair. She didn’t say anything more, she only relaxed against him. She laced their fingers together and let out a tired sigh. “There is something I love more than that.”

“Oh, right, Corazon, of course.”

Law opened his mouth and closed it. He frowned. How many walls and layers did she perceive herself to be behind? Did she just accept that she would never be in at least his top five most loved things? Did she think she even made the list? She was the love of his life, the woman who he slept next to every night, the woman he bore his heart and soul to. 

“You,” he tried. “I love you more.”

She was silent and she didn’t move. Did she not believe him? Was she unsure of his devotion to her? 

Of course she fucking was. How could she not be?

He had dedicated his life to revenge; to avenging his savior, to killing Doflamingo. It was his priority, it was his whole life. Ruby had just barely come into it. She had only just become one of his top priorities and after hearing about his past and his goals there was no doubt she had put herself low on the list of things that he loved.

“I see,” she said after some silence. 

He needed to be better to her.

He pulled on her, turning her so that she laid on her back. She stared up at him, blinking a couple of times. A curious look formed in her eyes and her brows knit together like she was asking him why he wanted to look at her face.

“I love you,” he said and kissed her, pressing his lips into hers. “You deserve to hear that as often as you breathe.”

Her lips formed a line and a flat look spread across her face. “And yet I’m with you,” she said. Law frowned. She sighed and a soft smile spread across her lips. “Look, I know who you are and I love you as you are. Don’t worry about changing for me. I know that I’m somewhere on your list of important things.”

“You’re high on that list.”

“Mmhmm,” she hummed and started to sit up.

He laid her down and kissed her. He kissed her with everything he was, with all of his strength and affection. He tasted her like he’d never do it again. “I love you,” he breathed onto her lips.

She chuckled. “I love you, too.”

Law was out of sorts all morning. He stared into his black coffee begging it to do something to his energy levels. Maybe even serotonin levels. Although that had even less chance of happening. When he looked into the mirror earlier that morning it was like the first time he saw himself in years. 

He looked ragged, he looked exhausted. He looked like he was some long-forgotten pathetic shell of a man who had a broken heart and was grasping at straws to beg his lover to come back just once. 

Ugh, he needs to lay off Ruby’s trashy novels. 

It had been a month and a half, or he thinks it had been. Maybe longer? Time was such a blur as of late. All he knew was that he had figured everything out. 

He did it! 

The plan was in motion! Soon he would be on Punk Hazard! He would carefully move things along so that Doflamingo would never figure everything out. Doflamingo would be dead soon!

And Ruby…

And Ruby could come home . She would go to Zou and be with the people who loved her again. She would be surrounded by love and warmth and happiness. 

And more than likely not him, but that didn’t matter. He didn’t matter like she did. Someone like her could easily find happiness again. Her quick wit and her personality was wonderful and he knew anyone and everyone would be fighting just to hold her hand. 

Law huffed into his beer. So absolutely annoyed on Ruby’s behalf. Did no one have the decency to ask if she was actually interested in them?

“Law,” Ruby called with a smile. “Don’t look so annoyed for just me.”

“How do you not find it annoying? Isn’t it insulting they only see you as something to have sex with?”

She rested her chin in her hand with a curious smile. “Does it insult you?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“Why? What kind of question is that? Because you’re smart, funny, and enjoyable to be around. You’re more than a damn vagina. You deserve better than these assholes.”

Ruby’s smile softened. “Thanks, that means a lot coming from the guy I’m sleeping with.”

Law breathed into his beer glass, the glass fogging up. “You’re more than that to me.”

Her smile grew. “Hm? What’s that? I don’t think I heard you.”

He shot her an annoyed look. “Don’t push it.”

She giggled. “You’re right, I’m sorry. You’re just fun to tease and I didn’t expect you to be a jealous person.”

“I’m not jealous ,” he scoffed, offended. “I am merely annoyed that you are being seen as an object.”

“Uh-huh, not even slightly jealous that people are hitting on your girlfriend and you can’t do anything about it?” He stared at her. “Alright, fine, you’re not jealous. You’re annoyed on my behalf that I’m being objectified even though I don’t give a shit.”

He huffed and chugged his beer in annoyance. Ruby hummed and sipped from her own glass, waving off another drink being brought to her. “Why don’t you give a shit?” He asked. 

“You have seen the way I dress, right? I know you stare at my ass. People treat women who dress like I do like they’re just an appendage. I’ve learned to live with it. I can’t start throwing punches because someone doesn’t respect me. I’d have knocked out half the population by now if I did.”

Law glowered. She didn’t deserve that. She deserved better. She deserved to be treated with honor and love and respect. “Maybe I should start throwing punches.”

She snorted. “My knight in shining armor,” she teased. “How about this? We head back to the Tang.” She cocked her head with a smile. “We can just put on our pajamas and go to bed! Nothing more and nothing less.”

“Rube,” he sighed. “Are you saying that we should go home and cuddle ?”

“Well, if you’re wanting to be specific, sure.”

He stared at her for a moment. “Let’s go.”

Law shoved his dinner in his face, chewing on the spicy, crispy tofu thoughtfully. He knew Penguin was staring at him. He knew that Penguin was staring hard at him. But what was he supposed to do? Just start a conversation? That would require him to be a pleasant person.

“How was she?” Penguin asked. 

“She had been drinking.”

“Was she drunk?”

“No.”

“Tipsy?”

“She had been but had sobered up.”

Penguin hummed. “And her mental health?” Law didn’t answer. “Did you ask how she was doing?”

“Didn’t need to. She was annoyed and asking stupid questions.”

“Like?”

Law glared at him and Penguin’s lips stretched into a thin line. “She asked if I loved her.”

“So she wasn’t annoyed, she was feeling insecure. And you obviously responded with “yes, of course. I love you more than anything else and can’t wait to see you again,” right?”

Law groaned and rubbed his eyes. “Does that sound like something I would say?”

“No, but a man can dream.” Penguin sighed. “Did you at least say that you loved her?”

“ Yes .”

“Well, at least you did that. I can’t imagine how she’s feeling right now. She’s at her worst when she’s alone.”

Law sighed. Knowing her she was probably only thinking of the bad things between them. The arguments, the times where she wanted to throw him into the ocean, the times he made her cry. “I know,” he said and stood up with his empty bowl. “She’s strong. She’ll get through it.”

Penguin stared up at him. “How many times are you going to say that?”

“Until it no longer needs to be said.”

“Rube,” Law called to her softly. 

Ruby jumped and started wiping her face quickly. “Oh, I thought you had gone to sleep.” She sniffed. 

“Did you think I wouldn’t notice you leaving the bed?”

“I…no?”

Law stared at her for a moment before sighing. He walked over to her and sat down on the ground beside her. He spread a blanket over her body. She was only wearing a nightgown meaning she got dressed in a hurry. He sighed and heard a wave hit the Tang. 

Law stared at the crescent moon and listened to Ruby’s sniffles. It was a clear sky and fucking cold. He knew Ruby must be freezing. 

“Why did you come out here?” She asked quietly. 

A confused expression grew on his face. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“I…I don’t know,” she said in a watery voice. “I’m not thinking. Of course you would. You’ve caught me crying on my own more than once and sat with me all those times.”

“And why are you crying now?”

She sighed. “Everything is a bit too real.” He stared at her. “I had a moment recently, a moment where I realized that I’m happy.”

Law narrowed his eyes at her. “And that makes you sad.”

She groaned. She leaned on him and he wrapped his arm around her. “I don’t know what to do with happy,” she said. “I’ve been miserable for as long as I can remember. I had accepted that I was always going to be alone and miserable. And then you guys showed up and you made me part of your crew and I’m suddenly forced to not hide away because I have friends who care about me for some unknown reason. Months later you tell me that you want to be with me, that you enjoy being around me, that you find me attractive. And that makes me happy .”

“O…kay?”

“I don’t know how to be happy,” she said and started to cry. “It feels wrong. Do I really deserve to be happy? After everything I’ve done and everyone I’ve hurt. Do I deserve to let people love me?” She wiped the tears that wouldn’t stop falling from her cheeks. 

“Yes.” Ruby looked at him and stared. “You don’t know how to be happy? That’s fine. I will be here while you figure it out. You don’t know how to be in a relationship? Okay. We’ll take it slow and go at whatever pace you want.” He sighed. “But you deserve happiness. You deserve to relax.” He sighed. “The crew loves you, I love you, so just breathe for a moment and let yourself be loved.”

Ruby wiped her cheeks. “That was actually really kind of you to say, Law.”

“Yeah. I hated every minute of it.” She laughed. She sniffed and wiped her cheeks. She let out a loud sigh with a smile. He watched her for a moment before letting out a breath. “Do you want to go back to bed?”

“Yeah, I think I do.”

He stood up and turned to her. He held out his hand for her. She stared at it for a brief moment before placing her hand in his. He pulled her up and into him, kissing her forehead as he did. 

Law was staring at himself in the mirror again. He looked sick and dehydrated. He looked pathetic. What would Ruby say to him? She’d probably take him by the ear and nag at him until he drank some water and rested. He could see her annoyed but very concerned expression. 

“I love you. I want you to be healthy.”

Law huffed. Right. Like that would ever happen. He’d always be too skinny. He’d always look exhausted. He’d always look slightly sick. And his always was coming to an end soon. There’s no way he’d survive this ordeal, no matter how genuine his promise to Ruby was. All he could do was make sure Ruby made it back to the Tang. 

There would be no one there to save him. No friend, no partner, and certainly not anyone who cared enough about him. Ruby would be the only one and he planned on tying her up and shipping her off the island before she got a chance to even think about arguing. 

Law rubbed his face and walked out of the bathroom. He stood in his bedroom, feeling lonely. She should be painting her toenails at the table, she should have a bowl of grapes to snack on, she should look so pretty in her grey shorts and white tank top. 

But she wasn’t here. She was in Dressrosa. She had left in order to save his life, and Law was starting to realize she set off on an impossible mission.

He sat on the bed and rubbed his face in exhaustion. His eyes thrummed in a sore pain, his head hurt as the beginnings of a migraine settled into his skull, his joints ached like he had just run a marathon. 

He truly had become a pathetic excuse for a human. 

He blinked when the den den mushi rang. Why was she calling so soon? 

He walked over to the snail and picked up the receiver. He breathed out. “Ruby?”

“Yeah,” she breathed. “I have information on Green Bit.”

Law’s eyes widened and he grabbed pen and paper. He took a deep breath and readied himself. 

“Go ahead, I’m listening.”

[amorremanet]

Man, I realize demanding that someone execute their own brother is pretty fucked up, but He Xuan asking that of Shi Qingxuan still gave them more respect than Shi Qingxuan ever got from Shi Wudu [gave them the ability to make their own choice after finally being given the full story and enough context to actually have the capacity for informed consent, something that Shi Wudu spent centuries denying to Shi Qingxuan] and also, He Xuan did nothing wrong and should be allowed to do all the atrocities he wants, thank you for your time

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

"Smokin'" is the sequel to "He's a ten"

[welcometogrouchland]

Darius 🤝 Willow

Beefing with the blights in complex, somewhat homoerotic ways