#you're welcome ig

[t1oui]

barty crouch jr. is eleven the first time evan rosier takes his breath away.

he's a second year in barty's house, with warm brown skin and blonde hair and amber eyes that flash gold in the sunlight. he knows regulus. one of barty's dormmates, somehow, and he smiles at barty like he wants to know him, too.

barty is thirteen when he finally figures out what the butterflies in his stomach mean.

they're sitting down at the lake, barty on the grass, soaking up the sun. pandora sits on a blanket next to him, her half of it in the sun, the other half underneath regulus in the shade of a tree. dora's busied herself with making flower crowns, and evan and dorcas are swinging at each other and laughing, both ankle deep in the water of the black lake. evan reaches up to kick water at her, and the silver of his anklet - a thin chain with a silver daisy charm hanging off of it - catches the light.

dorcas ducks away and shoves evan square in the chest, sending him stumbling back a few steps before he finally lands hard on the grass next to barty. it must've hurt, even in the soft green, but instead of wincing, he just turns to barty and grins.

oh, barty thinks. it's so obvious, he thinks.

barty is a fourth year the first time he kisses evan rosier.

it's the first christmas he doesn't go home for. he spends long hours knocking about the castle, staying out past both the regular curfew and the one made later for the break.

"can't sleep, crouch?" evan had asked him, making him jump, polished prefect badge - no doubt pandora's handiwork - sparkling from his collar. and suddenly there was mistletoe and the chance to finally make his fantasies a reality. there was the taste of evan's lips (vanilla) and the smell of his shampoo (cucumber) and the feeling of his arms around barty's waist (intoxicating).

even on that dreary, cold evening, there was hope.

barty is a sixth year when regulus begins going out with james potter.

they're on the train, barty halfway out the window, evan's arms tight around his middle in the fear of him falling, and barty hoots with laughter when regulus jumps into potter's arms. potter's a seventh year like evan. head boy, a gryffindor, and one of pandora's best friends, for some reason.

"leave them be, barty," evan snorts, pulling him back through the window. barty watches him, opening his mouth to speak, only to be swiftly cut off by his boyfriend adding, "we can be as dramatic as we like, but i'm not risking missing this train just so we can kiss in front of it."

barty groans in protest, but by that point regulus has arrived at the door to their compartment with a sheepish-looking james potter in tow, so he decides to annoy them instead.

barty is seventeen the first time he comes to hogwarts without evan, and it makes him feel empty.

he's still got regulus and dorcas, of course, but there's a gaping hole in the group now that the twins have graduated. regulus is quiet without james to bring him out of his shell. dorcas doesn't cheer as hard during quidditch games - ones without regulus in them, of course - without marlene mckinnon there to cheer on. and barty? barty isn't himself without ev there to easy his anxieties.

night after night, barty and regulus curl up in the same bed for nights of bad rest. it gets easier, over time. letters pile up. floo calls happen weekly. and while regulus and dorcas struggle, barty thinks about the future. the one decided by him, and not anyone else.

two days after his eighteenth birthday, barty steps off the hogwarts express for the last time.

regulus and dorcas don't hesitate to sprint past him towards james and marlene, who wait with evan futher down the platform. barty, though, hesitates. gives himself a moment to take a deep breath, smile at evan, and start running.

evan envelopes him in a hug, his arms a reassuring weight around barty.

"you must be tired," he whispers, the hint of a smile in his voice. "eight newts, barty. you're insane."

barty grins into evan's chest. "i missed you too, rosie," he mumbles. he lets out a content sigh he didn't realize he was holding in, and evan hums.

"welcome home, love," he says. "our home."

[payasita]

hey i just wanted to say that your manager post like. broke my caps key. when i turn caps off everything is capital

welcome to loud

[redmyeyes]

how soon is now

the stuff i could never tell you— maybe you picked up on it, you were always in the background watching. i'd catch your eye in the rearview, my hand on his thigh in the front seat and i'd swear you knew. you always looked away so fast.

there was this one hunt gone bad, you probably remember, you cussed me out about it after, you were waiting up 'til three a.m., worried sick i guess, but it always came out like anger in those days. shifter sliced his shoulder open, had him pinned up against a tree and i nailed it in the back, i was so scared i just about blacked out and the next thing i remember dad has his head tilted back and he's laughing. full-on crazed laughter like he can't stop, with this dead shifter collapsed at his feet. i came up slow, spooked or not wanting to spook him, and i put my hand on his good shoulder and i said, dad? and the laughter dies down and he looks at me with his eyes all watery and just— lays his hand on my head. ruffles it, like he woulda done when i was five, and I wanted to drop to my knees. I wanted to burrow my nose deep, where the smell was the strongest, and I wanted that hand heavy, pushing, pressing, pulling.

and we just stood there for i don't know how long, me with my hand on his shoulder and him with his hand on my head and i couldn't breathe. and then he lets out this huff of a breath and he shakes his head like he's just witnessed something unbelievable, and he gives my head one last ruffle and pats my cheeks quick, buck up, boy, and then his thumb drags slow over my lip and pulls it down.

and that's it, then we get back in the car and drive back to you and you stitched him up and he sent me out to get bandages, maybe to cool down, i don't know, i don't know what i would've done then if you hadn't been there. Anything. Everything.

when i get back it's business as usual, he's joking around and he's even got you smiling a bit, and you've got his shoulder cleaned out and his shirt is a bloody mess on the table. he winces when he rolls his shoulder, and he says, man i reek, and, dean you wanna help me out in there, and he nods to the bathroom door, and it's phrased like a question but it's not.

so i jump up and start the shower, get it scalding like i know he likes, and he strolls in, bare-chested and barefoot, and he leans into the half-fogged mirror and twists, tries to see the stitches, says, how's it look, buddy, think i'll survive? and i come up close behind and i brush my fingers over the heated skin of his shoulder and i say, stitches look good dad, sammy did a good job. and he chuckles and steps away, and i sit on the closed toilet, staring down at the grody tiles to give him some privacy while he shimmies out of his jeans and underwear one-handed, his other arm hanging limp. he gives himself a tug and he says, keep your old man company, you know bathroom accidents kill more people a year than car crashes, and i say, is that true, and he laughs and says, got no idea kid, and then he steps into the tub and pulls the curtain closed behind him.

it's a messy close though, and i can see slivers of skin through the gap. besides, the curtain is one of those cheap plastic clear ones, and as grimy and fogged up as it is, i can still make out the blurred form of him, the way he tilts his face up into the spray, hissing when the water makes contact with his shoulder. and then i see his other hand move, low and rhythmic, and his voice is gravel when he says, you ever get that post-hunt high, when you've just missed death and the adrenaline kicks in and gets your blood pumping? just making conversation, but he's stroking himself and i know he knows i'm watching, and my cock's thick just from that and my hands are digging into my knees through the denim and i say, yeah, but it sticks in my throat and comes out cracked. and i say, dad, and it feels like a plea but i don't even know what i'm asking for, and he says, don't, sharp as a whip crack. his hand speeds up though, and after a minute there's a grunt, a sigh, a whispered, fuck, and then the water's shut off and he's stepping carelessly out, drying himself with one of the threadbare towels and wrapping it loosely around his waist. he looks down at my lap, at the tent i'm sporting, and he says, should still be some hot water left, and then he leaves the bathroom and shuts the door behind him.

when i come back out five or ten minutes later, he's already in his bed and you're already in ours, and the only light left on is the one on my side. i don't think either of you are sleeping but you seem like you are. by the time i slide into bed beside you, i'm half-hard again, just from the memory, from the impossibility of what just happened, but i don't jack off because it feels good to be wanting.

nothing happened, so what was i supposed to say? and after that it got harder and harder to tell you anything. anyway, i liked having something that was just for the two of us. but sometimes i'd catch your eyes sliding away and i'd feel guilty for being so selfish. if you can believe such a thing.

--

for @egipci, who asked for a prompt, and i gave one, but it stuck in my head and i accidentally wrote it myself.

[dancerladyaqua]

Welcome to Fire Emblem Hell (Gradlon Edition)　・　FEの地獄ブログへようこそ！

Hi, there! I speak both English and Japanese so feel free to ask or DM me in either language! 英語も日本語も話すのでどちらでも話してくれても大丈夫です！少しあとで日本語のようこそメッセージを書きますのでそれを読みたいならこのポストの下に見てください。

I go by Aqua and Olivia; take your pick! I'm in my late twenties and obsess over Nintendo JRPGs, especially Fire Emblem, Xenoblade, and Pokemon. I love anime, my longtime favorites being Fullmetal Alchemist and Shaman King.

Favorite characters include but aren't limited to: Alear (male preferred), Robin (both!), Azura, Chrom, Marth, Alfred, Ivy; Roy, Eliwood, Rex, Mythra, Pyra, Nia, Morag, Eunie, Taion, Shulk, Melia; Alphonse Elric, Edward Elric, Envy; Tao Ren, Asakura Yoh, Usui Horohoro, Lyserg Diethel, Joco McDonnel. I also have an OC named Delilah who is my daughter.

Favorite Pokemon include: Rowlet, Gallade, Decidueye (esp. Hisuian), Piplup, Scorbunny.

I'm also an avid fanfic writer with a ridiculous amount of WIPs as TheTacticianAlchemist on AO3.

You may have found some of my work as Mod Rose on the ages old chrobinprompts blog, and I'm also a mod for chrobinweek.

I also have done fan translation for mankin-trad for Shaman King: The Super Star and & a Garden (since taken down; go read the official versions or check out Patch Cafe to learn about the series!) and fan translation/subtitling for Shaman King 2021 with iPatch Subs (on hiatus). I'm currently a professional freelance JP->EN translator.

While I do tag NSFW, I don't consider this blog to be SFW so do be careful.

こんにちは！母語ではないので、日本語の間違いをしてしまって許してください。

アクアかオリビアかどちらでも呼んでください。２０年代後半です。任天堂のファイアーエムブレムやゼノブレイド、ポケモン大好きで、アニメの鋼の錬金術師やシャーマンキングを好みます。

趣味は物語を書くことですが、英語でやるのですみません。ですが、あなた様は日本語の小説・ファンフィクションを見せたいならぜひシェアしてください！

日本語から英語に翻訳者で働いています。もちろん日本人・日本語を話せる友を作りたいのでぜひ連絡してください。

このブログはR18であるので気をつけてください。

[canisonicscrewyou]

anyways I heard we were talking about tboy boobs and let me JUST SAY... hiiiii

[blmpff]

In preparation for boxer!Thor in Wandee Goodday, here are my favorite selfies of his from his actual training, enjoy:

[kingofthenorth]

Shocked that I didn't make this meme before now

[sapphicstruggle]

"pretty boy, how was connecticut?"

"ultimately uneventful :]"

ah, okay, so they totally fucked

[daily-table21]

Video: FL Man in SoCal: Ben's Birthday

Status: Public

Link: FL Man in SoCal: Ben's Birthday - YouTube

Date Posted: January 21st 2023

[bleeding-hart]

some sketches

based on @theicarusconstellation's writing

I keep thinking of details I left out and stuff I need to fix but if I let myself do that I'm going to go insane so we're leaving it at this

Also some Sirius because they're a fucking king and we love them (I very strongly hc them as genderqueer and using any pronouns, but specifically he/they/she/it)

The dress was a bit of a failure but hey it looks like fabric at least I think maybe

[milkteamoon]

Fandom: The Magnus Archives (Podcast) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

“The taxidermy shop,” Tim says. “Five people have gone missing in this neighborhood in the past three months.” “And?” Jon says. “Not to sound insensitive, but,” he gestures around them to the whole of the rundown room, “we aren’t exactly in the best of neighborhoods.” “The point,” Tim retorts, “is that all of them had recently purchased a taxidermied animal. All from that shop.” He leans back onto his heels, pushing his hands into his knees. “I’ve been staking out the place for two days now, and it— well. Just.” “Just what?” “Just watch.”

Jon, Martin, and Tim investigate a taxidermy shop. It only gets worse from there.

(A part 2 to this!)

[noeavoiding]

Still thinking about this photo of John Lynch I found while looking around The Head HBO tag on instagram

[feeling-artsick]

Thank you for sharing how you did the head sculpt! If youd be able to go into more detail I'd truly appreciate it!

Started typing and then before I knew it tips turned into a tutorial so I reformatted the whole thing into a loose step-by-step of how to make them.

This is a tutorial on how to add details to heads like Isahla's neck detail, so not quite how to make everything from scratch but 90% of it at least.

This tutorial will teach you how to bake details on to a head's normal map. I'm using a scar in this tutorial as an example but you can paint any details you like this way. The things to be aware of are:

this tutorial assumes you've got some basic knowledge of Blender and sculpting in Blender. It also assumes you know how to navigate tools like Photoshop or GIMP.

this tutorial won't explain how to make diffuse/other maps match the normal map. That's kind of a whole separate thing with a lot of different methods that can go with or against this one.

this tutorial can be applied to the body as well as the head.

this tutorial won't explain how to blend details across seams (wrist, neck, ankles).

this tutorial can't be applied to… mostly everything else. Skyrim normal maps are special like that, and that's why I love 'em.

And so I don't overwhelm you before going in, here's a quick rundown of the entire process: We're taking the player's head and preparing it for sculpting. We'll sculpt in the details we want. Then we bake out that sculpted detail into a normal map. Then we edit the player's existing normal map to include the new detail. And that's all.

Also, everything can be done with freeware so you have no excuses. Let's go.

1 Preparing the head.

Exporting your character's head from the game isn't always necessary, but it is encouraged. The closer the head in Blender is to the shape of the head in the game, the more accurate your details will be to their head shape. If you don't wish to use a specific head, feel free to use any other head you like, whether thats the vanilla head, High Poly Head, ECE's head, etc. There is a difference between these heads that should be noted, typically in the UV space, but for individual cases it's not too important. Exporting is done with RaceMenu, and the resulting nif file can be imported into Blender using the PyNifly plugin available here. If you struggle with this plugin, converting the nif file to another format through Outfit Studio is also possible. When the head is in Blender, remove any clutter. We don't need anything except the head model for this so we can remove scar and eyebrow masks, eyes, hair, and so on. Now, duplicate the head model so you have two copies of the same head, and for clarity, label your heads low and high poly. I'll be distinguishing between my heads with a _low/_high suffix. We don't need the low poly for now so you can hide it. Your scene should look something like this:

I'm going to sidebar a little bit here to mention that there are two ways to prepare the head for sculpting. One is by "cleaning" the model which I've detailed below. Another (and the method I prefer) is to use Blender's Human Base Meshes bundle (available here) and just scaling and contorting the sculpt-ready model they have to the shape of your character's head. If you feel confident doing that unguided, skip the rest of this step.

Right-click the model and choose Shade Smooth. Enter into edit mode, tap 1 to enter vertex selection, A to highlight everything, and M to merge vertices (choose By Distance). The distance will need to be tweaked depending on the scale the model was imported at but you'll want to merge enough that model isn't splitting when you sculpt later. It should look indistinguishable from before, but there should be no aggressive seam lines like on the back of the head. In Edit mode, go into Edge selection and Alt-Left Click the border of the neck. Alt-F to Fill. Get inside the head and repeat the process for the back of the lips like you see below.

The head should now be prepared for sculpting. You can verify this by attempting to Remesh it, and if it bugs out, there's probably a hole somewhere.

2 Sculpting the head.

This guide isn't going to have a tutorial for sculpting in it as there's plenty online. The techniques you use are up to you. Personally, I'm a large-detail-to-fine-detail kind of person. That said, Dyntopo is far more intuitive and was how I made Isahla's neck details way back when. You do not need to sculpt every detail on the head although there's nothing stopping you; just do your best to keep the head as close to its original shape as possible. Also, if you have a computer that's struggling with higher poly counts—you can absolutely remove entire parts of the model that you aren't going to use later.

For this example, I've haphazardly cut two scars into a head I had previously sculpted for a different mod. Again, you do not have to sculpt the entire head.

3 Baking.

Once you're done, you'll need to export the two heads as .obj files. Remember to name them in a way that you can recognise them as either high or low poly. You can see my export settings below. You may need to tweak these depending on how the bake goes.

For baking, I'll be using xNormal (available here). It's the shadiest looking site on the modern web but it is what it is. Feel free to use another if you find yourself with a better alternative. If you aren't familiar with baking or what it is, it's a process where we take all the detail from the sculpt, compare it with the low poly in a software like xNormal, and it outputs a texture that can be used to mimic the sculpt's detail.

In xNormal, click 'High definition meshes' in the top-right. Right-click, 'Add meshes'. Locate your high poly obj file and select it. Repeat the same steps for the 'Low definition meshes' tab, then move on to the 'Baking options' tab. In 'Baking options', start by defining a location for the output texture in the 'Output File' field. Name it whatever you like--it'll automatically slap a "_normals" suffix on the end. Bitmap is fine but it's up to you. Set the size to the same size as the normal map you're currently using. For most skin textures these days, your normal map will be 4096x4096. Under 'Maps to render' is a large list of maps you can output but for this we want to only have Normal map checked. Click the three dots beside it. Change the settings to match what I have below.

These changes are important because Skyrim bodies use model space normal maps instead of tangent space, and their world Z direction is inverted. Just don't ask me why. You can now 'Generate Maps' in the lower-right. This process can take a little while and if done correctly, the resulting window should look something like this:

If it's looking like a complete mess and nothing like this, I'm sorry to say you may have a bit of troubleshooting to do. Make sure both meshes are set to use exported normals, and make sure your normals are oriented properly in Blender (see guides on face orientation). It may also help to choose the triangulate option on the high poly model on export.

If yours looks mostly the same but maybe the colours are in different orientations, you can try inverting the "swizzle coordinates" and regenerate the map or invert the colour channels in Photoshop/GIMP. You want Red on the left, Green on the top, Blue at the front.

If yours has all sorts of odd marks around the lips, eyes and ears like mine, that's to be expected. Fixing those spots is outside of the scope of this tutorial.

4 Finishing the texture.

For this next step, I'll be using Photoshop. Feel free to use GIMP or Paint.NET, even. You should be able to follow along mostly fine. If you have never edited Skyrim textures before, this may be difficult to follow, and it's not really the space for a tutorial on it. So, I'll quickly address the following:

GIMP 2.10.10+ should have DDS support already.

Paint.NET has DDS support already.

Photoshop requires a plugin. There are two. Hell, I think there's three. I don't know why. I'm using Intel's plugin available here.

If for whatever reason things aren't working out in one program, you can always switch to one of the others.

LE users should export their normal maps uncompressed.

SE users should export theirs at BC7 (Fast, Linear with Intel but don't quote me on that).

I don't know if any of the non-Photoshop ones support BC7 compression or not. If it doesn't, go uncompressed.

First, load your character's current normal map into the program. Then load your new normal map you got from xNormal into the program on top of the first. Name the two layers however you like, or don't, but for clarity's sake, I'll be referring to the original map as Base and the new map as Scar. Attach a layer mask to Scar (if you aren't familiar with layer masks and how they work, pause now, look it up. Super simple; very useful.) and start to subtract all the stuff that you don't need. You should see the Base layer showing up behind it, filling in all the areas you're erasing.

You'll notice very quickly that the Scar layer will be much smoother than the Base layer, and probably has some differences in hue. Use a really soft brush if you need to blend out the skin. Minor differences in colour value go a LONG way here, so if you see noticeable lines or contours where your new map meets the old one, those will also show up in the game. Do your best to eliminate them if you can. Also, don't be afraid to erase some of the details you're trying to add. Making sure it blends in is the key.

Here's a gif showing the texture I started with, and how it looks with the scar. Note that other than the scar itself, there's nothing new that's been added to the image. This is to keep things as consistent with the original work as possible.

When that's done, you can export it as a .dds file. Make sure not to export with the Alpha channel, as it's unused and will add significantly to the size of the file.

Aaaaand, finally, that's it. Sort of. There's still a lot more you can do but it's all easy tweaking from here on.

Here's how mine turned out:

Even without changes to the diffuse or specular maps, the depth still stands out a lot and if you're willing to keep going and adding details to all three maps, you can really make it stand out.

[splishsplashyouropinionistrash]

Welcome back to AFTG Hot Takes, the show where I share my unpopular AFTG opinions. I will only stop if and when god (or Miss Nora herself) shows up at my doorstep to retcon me to hell Moriyama style.

Today’s instalment: why I hate Kevandreil.

For those of you who don’t know, Kevandreil (otherwise known as Kandreil) is the ship name for Kevin/Andrew/Neil. One of the reasons why it’s become such a popular ship is because, in multiple early versions of AFTG, this was the main couple instead of just Andrew/Neil (or Andreil).

You may be asking yourself “But Sam, how could you hate it?” and also, “How did you get into my house?” Well, I’m glad you asked :D.

When you look at Kevandreil, it does make a kind of sense. Kev is already the closest thing to a best friend Andrew and Neil have. Neil does, momentarily, think that Kevin and Andrew are hooking up. Not to mention there’s some sort of sexual tension between Neil and Kev in the first book. Really, all the signs are there. It’s far less outlandish than a lot of the fandoms other ships (think Jerjean, Renison, etc).

So then why would I hate it, if it makes so much sense? The answer is simple: Miss Nora’s extra content. In one post explaining her thoughts on Kevandreil and why she cut it, she said that the relationship was toxic and codependent. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think any of our boys deserves that sort of relationship. 

I know, I know. As a community, we’ve mostly given the extra content an enthusiastic hell no and moved on. There’ve been one or two glaring exceptions (King and Sir specifically) but for the most part, it’s ignored.

Some things shouldn’t be ignored, though. Like how Andrew would never be called “AJ”, because that’s what Drake called him. Or the things Proust did to Andrew. Those things are important, and I cannot just ignore them.

Kevandreil, to me, is the same. Does that mean I’ll shame you, or even think badly of you, for enjoying it? No. To each their own, and if you can separate it from the extra content then good for you. I can’t.

TL;DR, Kevandreil would be an unhealthy relationship according to the extra content, and my brain is not capable of ignoring that.

Was this the hottest of takes? No, certainly not. But hey, I’m tired. 

Miss Nora, when you inevitably send someone to take me out, I ask only that you do not let them go full Lola on my ass.

[deliciousobservationbird]

Parrot, Pangi, The NPPP, and Protest Humour

In 2009, in a seminal piece of work named after a particular study on the power of humour as an act of rebellion, Robert Darnton confessed that “There is no better way to ruin a joke than to analyse it or overload it with social comment.”

So, sorry NPPP. I’m going to take your joke and, not only analyse it, I’m going to charge it with social commentary, symbolism, and also meaning. Consider it, an act of rebellion, of protest, provoked by your faction name.

What is the NPPP? Who are Parrot and Spoke? To answer those questions I must say: Welcome to the Lifesteal SMP. A server where if you die, you lose a heart. Lose all your hearts and you get banned.

Within the opening days of Season 4 there was the expected primordial chaos, which was then followed by the expected still-chaotic ordering and solidifying of alliances. Two players, both alike in their goals, quickly found themselves at the opposite ends of the Lifesteal SMP hierarchy:

The first (Pangi), had many hearts and many allies. He was able to achieve the goal of most Lifesteal players by gaining 20 hearts and was one of the first to do so.

The other player (Parrot) had a different experience. He found one main ally in Spoke but quickly found the initial phase of Season 4 to be a harsher climate than he had expected. He was low on hearts, allies, and he and Spoke had to skim-off the bases and resources of other players.

The weird almost-meritocracy based class and wealth system of Lifesteal SMP becomes quickly apparent. There’s material wealth in the form of bases, villagers, and farms, and then there’s the unique Lifesteal currency in hearts. Material wealth and heart-wealth are the two separate markers of a player’s status. It is possible (and interestingly, most common) to only have one of the two.

Take the “Three Hearts Trio” for example. It’s clear that they lack in heart-wealth, which would put them down at the bottom of the Lifesteal hierarchy; however, their base was a site of immense material wealth. It was the choice target of Parrot and Spoke’s “re-appropriating” of resources. Their material wealth allows them to rise in the hierarchy and gain a particular protection due to the important resources and exports their base is able to provide the server.

Pangi (the wealthy player mentioned before) from the beginning, had set his eyes on the ambitious target of becoming the most powerful player, of being the top of this ever-present hierarchy. He gains the heart-wealth early on in the server and, due to this strength, is able to take a comparative risk by setting up a base near spawn. He is able to spend time on decoration and aesthetics and by doing so, shows off his ascension to the top. Pangi gained both material wealth and heart-wealth and so established himself as part of the ‘upper class’ of Lifesteal.

So, within Lifesteal Season 4 there is already a sense of an established hierarchy and order. The heart-rich are able to get heart-richer and grind raids with ease, whereas the heart-poor become heart-poorer, dying to stray arrows, vexes, and creeper explosions. Dying to things that aren’t even a consideration the more powerful players would need to make. There comes a need (from at-least one end of the hierarchy) for some sort of upheaval, a reversal of this social order. There comes a need for a carnival. 

By carnival, I refer to the concept of a traditional European Christian festivity (although comparable to Purim in parts) that stood in opposition to Lent. Carnival was a period of openness and freedom that was to be let out and acknowledged before the solemeness of Lent was to set in. Darnton says “Carnival was high season for hilarity, sexuality, and youth run riot-a time when young people tested social boundaries by limited outbursts of deviance, before being reassimilated in the world of order, submission, and Lentine seriousness.”

Mock trials were held and plays were produced where (within this particular context of carnival) dissent and acts of rebellion were almost encouraged. Established powers such as the pre-reformation Church were able to be challenged and the more personal enforced social norms were up-turned. As Marjolein't Hart puts it “[carnival] allowed the articulation of the idiomatic "world turned upside down", a funny and subversive way to play with established rules and hierarchies.”

She, and other historians, stressed the usage of carnival as a release of tension, a safety valve that allowed discontent people, usually at or near the bottom of their particular social hierarchy, a way of expressing their displeasure openly due to the fact it got masked or understood as a form of humour, often satire. By making these jokes, the possibility of a different reality gets aired. Elizabeth Hansot points out that “the joke is in the structures we create, structures that frame some individuals or groups arbitrarily at the expense of others.”

So, you may be thinking, that’s all well and nice but what have Parrot, Spoke and the NPPP got to do with some pretty old European folk customs?

Well, within Lifesteal there are several established structures that form the Lifesteal norm. Ideas that are taken for granted eg. that every player wants to achieve power in the form of material wealth and heart-wealth. Ideas that there is a correct way to go about this ‘inevitable quest’.

Steps for a successful Lifesteal experience:

Firstly, you want to gain allies. Don’t make enemies where you don’t gain from doing so.

Secondly, in order to gain heart-wealth, material wealth should be obtained beforehand. Either you, or one of your allies, should set up a secret base stacked with villagers and potions so you can gear up for step 3.

Now you can start to evaluate the position of each player and faction on the server. Who is poor enough to be an easier target, yet rich enough that you can gain something from the kill?

The NPPP take these pre-existing Lifesteal norms and use the framework of their alliance to protest and mock it. Their name “The No-Pants People Party” stands in opposition of former teams in previous seasons (“Men Of Battle” “People Of Gallantry” etc.) in its lack of grandeur and use of —what’s often considered— low-brow humour.

The NPPP takes one of the key beliefs of Lifesteal, that the natural desire of players is to gain wealth and power, and turns it on its head. They take the armoured leggings (which offer the second most armour points within an armour set) and refuse to wear them. They take the pre-established order of allies-gear-hearts and stand outside of it. The NPPP are able to acknowledge the expected course of action and satirise it. They make enemies with powerful allied players, they refuse to set up their own permanent base for grinding, and they mock the caution of powerful players by using The NPPP’s circumstantial group identity as players with few hearts to emphasise their refusal to ‘play the game’, to drive home the mockery they make of Lifesteal norms by not wearing trousers.

In doing so, they are effectively protesting the expected hierarchy of Lifesteal from the bottom of said hierarchy. They are not acting on game theory or rationalism. The NPPP act in defiance of the norms, they challenge players like Pangi who have more allies and have more wealth and are able to wield their unique privileges (gained from stepping outside the expected frame) to force an upheaval in the previously-solid social structure.

Just as the jester is able to mock the king due to their station, the eccentricity of the NPPP allows them the privileges of being underestimated and allowed to carry on their humorous protest. As Hansot says, it also allows them “To make a claim for oneself with a note of humour, i.e. to establish role distance, can save face in advance by creating a self that will not be discredited by lack of success or ignored by being predictable”.

They can use this open defiance of norms and loud satirising of established Lifesteal structures to weaponise every outcome. When The NPPP clash with players like Reddoons, Woogie, or Pangi, each victory is symbolic of the great upheaval The NPPP caused and also celebrates their ‘underdog story’. It both defies structures and also reinforces them. The inherent humour and absurdity of basing collective group identity on a refusal to wear trousers also endears them to the viewers of the Lifesteal SMP as well as endearing them to each other.

The NPPP are able to very quickly establish this collective group identity due to the obvious visual markers that differentiate themselves from their enemies. They characterise “pants-wearers” as being greedy, untrustworthy, and as natural enemies to the NPPP. They signify which social group they belong to, through their choice in armour wearing but it’s the use of humour that helps keep the group together and help promote collective action. In an article regarding the usage of humour within the workplace Hansot remarks that “[humour can be used] as a way of marking ethnic or kinship boundaries or of channelling hostility and mobilising solidarity among people who are forced to interact frequently and intimately.” The NPPP usage of humour regarding their faction acts as a way of signalling who does or doesn’t belong in their group as well as helping to strengthen the bonds between established members.

The NPPP use this humour and make jokes (often crass ones) about their circumstances to the extent that they can even deny their own losses. Each NPPP loss is considered as a fruitless victory for their opponents as they still exist within the Lifesteal norms, where the resources and time taken to win are a loss in a season wide battle of attrition. The viewers are also more likely to be sympathetic and supportive of The NPPP as Hart notes that “Jokes often weaken the defences of an audience and render the listeners more amenable to persuasion.” The NPPP use this humour and are able to joke with the audience such that the audience sees their refusal of norms are interesting, engaging, and charming and will make up for the backlash The NPPP get from refusing to follow the given path within the Lifesteal SMP.

So when Parrot and Spoke decided to defy expectations by refusing to wear a useful piece of armour and making penis jokes, they were (unintentionally) mimicking the European tradition of Carnival and humorous protests and defiance of established social practices and structures. Their usage of humour as a tool of persuasion for viewers, a method of bonding for people within their group, and most importantly: their usage of humour as an act of opposition against more powerful enemies shows the oft-overlooked versatility and importance of jokes. 

Maybe the NPPP was intended to be just a joke about not wearing trousers but its context gives it these extra connotations and meanings that support Parrot, Spoke, and whoever allies with them, in their open protest against the common ideals of Lifesteal culture.

Sorry NPPP! Hopefully I didn’t ruin your joke too much, but to be fair - you can’t use humour to engage and delight without inviting some (perhaps unexpected) consequences.

Disclaimers: I'm not a professional linguist and I'm also not an expert in mediaeval European folklore and traditions. There are more layers to it the more meta you get, so I mainly stuck to within the Lifesteal canon to avoid complications and to avoid making this even longer. A point could be made about how the status of an admin can be understood within Minecraft and how that contributes to the carnival-like warping of hierarchies but that was *insanely* meta. Also I had the idea for this and started writing it at 1/ 1:30am thinking it would take like 20 minutes max. I awoke from a trance where I opened my eyes to 5 pages of text with citations at 5:20am. I slept before posting to make sure it’s coherent but at this point it’s as coherent as I can make it.

Sorry for being insane btw (:

[cinnamoncatto]

This is how i smell like btw