#younger me: thank you. guess i'll go insane!

[septembersghost]

me watching any piece of media ever made: how can i make the thesis here about the wondrous, fulfilling, frightening, destroying, restorative, glimmering thrall of, and tragic inevitability of grief within, any and every form of love?

elvis (2022): *very first thing we hear* oh, let our love survive... *later*: love song i've known since childhood used in a dark, ominous way and a desperately tender one: some things are meant to be. take my hand, take my whole life too, for i can't help falling in love... *later still*: it was love. *last*: i need your love...

ah. okay. so you just made my job too easy. i don't even have to search for it. thank you. guess i'll go insane.

[itoshiexx]

thin line

synopsis: four times itoshi rin said he hated you, and the one time he finally said the truth.

pairing: itoshi rin x gn!reader | words: 5k (insane) | warnings: enemies to (implied) lovers, cursing (rin being rin), rin is a total tsundere and emotionally constipated, banter, teasing, one (1) sexual implication towards the end, i use the word hate a lot, kinda proofread

notes: oh my GOD. you have no idea how hard it was for me to write (and finish!) this. writer's block has been kicking my ass really hard and honestly i don't even know if i like this but i swear to god if this flops i'll kms. (jk. maybe. or not.)

masterlist sae's 4+1

i.

itoshi rin was a hater. 

he didn’t consider himself one, naturally. rin thought he was a pretty chill guy, but apparently, everyone who had some sort of interaction with the younger itoshi felt the same kind of vibe coming from him. at least, it was what his stupid teammates said after claiming rin was always hating on something — whether it was the line in the coffee shop being too long, every pass given to him by isagi or the librarian with “a stupid fish-face”.

on his defense, no one liked long lines, isagi had two left feet when it came to passing and the librarian was a fucking weirdo. even if he was a hater, he had a plausible reason for everything he hated. 

“itoshi.”

that included you, of course.

rin was pretty convinced it was impossible not to hate you. every time he entered your shared biology class, a mere look at you was enough for his irk to grow even more. everything about you was just obnoxious.

you were loud. and, although unpleasant, that wouldn’t be much of a problem if you just weren’t unable to shut the fuck up and stop rambling excitedly at every friend you met. and you had many. you were some kind of weird social butterfly with infinite energy for social interactions — in a way, you reminded him of bachira. 

but bachira was not always jumping at every chance to refute him with a know-it-all smirk. bachira wasn’t perpetually ready to throw witty remarks at his rudeness. and bachira definitely didn’t have a pretty gleam on his eyes every time he headbutted with rin.

in short, you were everything itoshi rin hated. and the worst part was that you knew. you knew how much your very existence annoyed him, and it seemed like you took as your life mission to make the next two years of his life a living hell. 

“itoshi.” your voice reached his ears again. well, maybe if he just ignored you, you would… “itoshi!”

“what the fuck do you want?” he snapped, diverting his attention from the match playing on his phone to look at you. “i told you not to call me that.”

another thing he hated — to be called by his last name. it reminded him way too much of sae, and that was something rin didn’t want to do. but it wasn’t like he was going to tell you that, so he’d rather let you think he just didn’t want you to address him at all. which wasn’t a lie, either. 

you gave him a puzzled look, tilting your head like an innocent puppy. a fake naivety, of course. “we’re not close enough for me to call you by your first name, though.”

“thank fuck.” 

your eyes rolled at that. “language, itoshi.” he glared at you again, and you fixed your posture, putting your hands on the back pockets of your jeans. the malicious smile you gave sent chills down his spine. 

“well, i just came to deliver you the news since you missed last period. there’s a project worth 75% of our grade to be delivered in two months, and guess what? we’re together!”

oh, hell no.

“you tell terrible jokes.”

“i’m serious, though. if you don’t believe me, just ask your friends,” you said, so absentmindedly that rin felt his blood pressure rising. he opened his mouth to retort, but you beat him to it. “and before you try, the teacher already said no one can work alone and that the pairs cannot be exchanged.”

his left eye twitched, and he was pretty sure all his muscles were tight and ready to combust. life just couldn’t give him a break, could it? it was like he was being punished — forced to work with you, of all people. what a fucking nightmare. 

how the hell was he supposed to endure two months of constant interactions with your annoying sassiness and the pretty curve of your lips when you smirked? it might just drive him crazy. 

“so, when can we start, partner?”

rin rolled his eyes so hard they almost got stuck on the back of his skull. 

“i hate you.”

ii.

the soccer field was probably the only place rin felt at peace. the smell of grass and sweat was as familiar as his home, much like the round shape of the ball on his feet and the path to the goal. despite his rowdy teammates and their dumb antics, there wasn’t much that was able to distract him and break this peacefulness.

“itoshi!”

there was still something, though. or someone, for that matter.

the shock of seeing you in his “happy place” was so big rin nearly tripped on the ball, successfully letting bachira steal it from him. the snickers from reo and isagi made his skin boil with anger, but his harsh glare was directed at you — the fucking source of all his problems. 

and no, he was not being dramatic. 

“what are you doing here.” 

it wasn’t really a question, more like a veiled threat; but you seemed oblivious to it, or simply didn’t care about his reaction. something in him even thought you liked getting on his nerves. he was sure of it when you smirked.

“the project, dummy. we need to start today if we want to get it done in time. it’s pretty long, hence why we have two months.”

“i can’t today,” was all he said. 

“why?”

“because,” rin spat with venom on his tongue, “i have an important game next week.”

you stared at him in silence. rin would have thought about how the sun shining on your back framed you with a perfect halo and gave you a nearly angelic look if he wasn’t so busy controlling the heat on his face from your scrutiny. he hated when you did that. he hated you. 

“we have to start today, itoshi. i’ll wait until you finish practicing so we can go to the library.”

he hated your stubbornness. he hated your voice, too — how it sounded like a siren’s melody, ready to trap him and bring him to the bottom of the ocean.

“fine. suit yourself.”

the young itoshi turned around and went back to the field, ignoring aryu’s pestering and shidou asking about who you were and if he could have your number. rin pondered if a yellow card was worth shutting up the insect, but eventually decided against it; he didn’t want ego to bench him, especially when they were so close to the tournament next week. 

the rest of the game went pretty smoothly, although rin and his teammates could tell he had half of his focus on the sidelines, where you sat prettily at the stands with your laptop. a perpetual scowl was on his face throughout the rest of the match. you were so damn distracting it was annoying. 

once the match was over, some of the boys went home, while others continued practicing, rin being one of them. he was expecting you to grow tired and give up, especially considering it was getting darker and colder, but you didn’t waver. your face was still present on the stands, haunting him even if he closed his eyes. you even had the audacity to smile when your gazes crossed.

he hated your smile. he did. 

hours passed until every one of his teammates had gone home, and rin was the only one left in the field. deciding it was finally enough (and not admitting he was starting to worry for you), he stopped his moves, finishing up with a few stretches so that his muscles weren’t too sore. he stored the footballs on the cart and put away the cones, something that was already routine at that point since he was usually the last one to leave.

finally, rin walked towards you. 

“i’m done,” he said as he approached you on the sideline of the field. his gym bag was right at your side, and he ignored the electricity that sparked his skin when it grazed yours. 

your eyes averted from your laptop to look at him. “oh, hi! thought you’d take a little longer,” you retorted. “anyways, i’m done too.”

he stopped his movement. “what?”

“yeah, i finished the first topic. only fourteen more to go.” the giggle that flew out of your mouth reverberated through his body. rin watched as you stood up and stretched, looking away when your shirt rode up and a sliver of your stomach could be seen. you then proceeded to put your laptop away, and his brows furrowed. 

“i don’t get it. i thought you said… you said it was too much stuff to do by yourself.” you nodded, not even looking at him. rin kind of wished you did. “and yet you did everything?”

“well, yes.”

his scowl only worsened. “what the fuck? why?”

you slung your bag through your shoulder, looking at him with those damn doe-eyes that always sparkled so much. it was annoying. why did they remind him of the stars? and why did rin wanted to watch the night sky on your face?

“you said you have an important game next week, so i figured it wouldn’t kill to do the first topic by myself,” you answered. “don’t get used to it, though! you’re gonna have to help on the next ones, partner.”

the young itoshi ignored the stupid nickname, his brain still trying to catch up to everything. something just wasn’t clicking…

“so why the hell did you wait for me to finish practice?”

you didn’t even falter.

“thought you could use the company.” you shrugged. and although your voice was nonchalant, you were smiling. and not your typical mischievous smirk — it was a sweet, sweet smile, dripped in honey and all things good in the world. 

rin’s heart leaped on his chest. he could feel his cheeks becoming flushed, but he blamed it on the cold. 

coming to think of it, it was really cold. and you sat there for hours… if he looked closely, he could see your frame shivering from the lack of proper clothing. 

a little tsk came out of his mouth, and rin impulsively took off his jacket, throwing it on your face — ignoring the “hey!” you sent his way.

“what’s that for, itoshi?!”

“so that you don’t freeze to death, dumbass.”

rin had to admit your gaping expression was kind of cute. not that he would commit to memory or something… that would be lukewarm, and he was anything but lukewarm. especially when it came to you. 

“don’t get any ideas, though,” he said before you could retort, turning around to follow the path to his dorm room, “i still hate you.”

iii.

things were calmer after the game passed. rin often found himself at the university library with you after his practice, leaving around nine or ten, and walking you to your dorm building simply because he didn’t want to be bothered in case something happened to you. not like he was worried for your safety or anything.

you still got on his nerves, but the project was going surprisingly well. rin learned you were very dedicated and meticulous, meaning you put in a lot of effort to focus and make everything as perfect as it could be. he wished he could say his focus was also as sharp as ever, but the scent of your coconut shampoo always lingered on the study booths and made his mind fuzzy. 

it was tuesday night and you were both on your laptops doing research and writing on your paper, falling into the same little routine you established the past weeks. the library was nearly empty as usual — though you always sat at the furthest cabin because rin didn’t like to see, hear or speak to people — and the only sound in the ambience was the pitter patter of the rain. 

everything seemed to be going fine, but things changed when the rain got heavier and became a strong thunderstorm that made the lights go out.

“fuck,” rin cursed under his breath, looking around to hear other people mumbling complaints and the librarian saying she would turn on the power generator, asking for calm and patience. he squeezed the bridge of his nose, annoyed, and turned to you. “hey, do you think—”

then he stopped. 

the only source of light was the screen of your laptops and the occasional lightning striking on the dark sky, but rin could see you on the other side of the table as clear as day. and he felt his heart squeeze impossibly hard with the sight. 

you were shaking like a leaf, hands squeezed tight and nails prickling your skin, and your eyes were widened and so, so scared. he had never seen you wear such an expression, always familiar with your confidant, cheery self, and he decided he didn’t like one bit. 

“hey,” he whispered, trying to grasp your attention. however, your eyes were focused outside. “hey, look at me.”

slowly, your orbs met his, and rin felt his breath hitch. there were tears on your lash line threatening to fall, and panic began to rise on his throat; but he forced himself to stay calm for your sake. 

“what’s wrong?”

your lips trembled, but nothing came out. he hated your voice, but found himself missing it. so he tried again.

“are you… afraid of the dark?”

his question was answered when the sound of another thunder reverberated again, making you visibly flinch. his gaze softened when a small hiccup left your lips. 

“oh. it’s the thunder.”

you nodded, still unable to talk. rin could see you were forcing yourself to keep your sobs contained, as if the mere thought of crying in front of him was as dangerous as standing at gunpoint. like his words — venomous, harsh, cold words — could hurt you just as much as a bullet. 

his stomach churned with that thought. he hated it. 

so, as carefully as he could so as not to startle you, rin stood up from his seat and walked around the table until he reached the chair at your side, sitting on it. he felt you body tense with the proximity, more so when he slightly turned to stare at you, and felt the need to say something.

“it’s okay,” he murmured, so impossibly soft you could hardly believe it was itoshi rin saying those words to you. 

it was even more unbelievable when he enveloped your body in a hug, bringing your head to his chest as if to shelter you from the thunder. 

rin really hoped you couldn't hear the unrestrained beating of his heart. everything about that moment made him nearly combust; from the ever present smell of your shampoo when he rested his nose in your hair, the evident relaxation of your frame when he hugged you or the small arms that held his waist as if he was the only lifeline in the ocean. 

you let your sobs and sniffles run free, burying yourself deeper in his embrace, and all rin could do was pat your hair and whisper soft reassurances on your ear. 

it’s okay. you are safe. i won’t let it hurt you. 

he didn’t know how long you both stayed in that position, but as he enjoyed the warmth of your body next to his, your sobs eventually died out along with the roaring sound of thunder. the rain became thinner and the lights finally came back, although neither of you made a move to separate. 

the silence lingered for a moment before you broke it, “thank you.”

the male only hummed, trying to hide his disappointment when you slowly backed away. though his hand didn’t leave you, going from your hair to rest on your hip in some type of reassurance squeeze. 

“i-i’m sorry, it’s just…”

“you don’t have to explain,” he interrupted. then, hesitantly added, “only if you want to.”

“it’s not something big or anything… this fear has just kind of been there. i think something happened to me when i was a kid and it was thundering, so every time it happens i just… freeze.” you shook your head. “it’s stupid.”

he frowned. “it’s not stupid if it makes you this terrified. it’s okay, we all have fears.”

you were yet to look him in the eye, seemingly embarrassed about your triggered phobia. “i cried on your shirt.”

“yeah.”

“it has tears stains.”

“yeah.”

you sighed. “i’m sorry.”

he squeezed your hip again. “don’t apologize.”

you finally raised your head to look at him, and rin could very much consider himself a lost man at that moment. your eyes were glistening from the remnant of tears, but that pretty gleam was still there, barging its way through any sadness and any fear to present itself with the shy smile you sent him.

even if it was still dark, he would be able to see it, because you shined. brightly, scorchingly and so, so mesmerizing, like some sort of classic painting worth millions of dollars. if rin had the choice, he wouldn’t want to look away. 

“i think it’s enough for today,” you said, “do you mind if we continue tomorrow?”

“i don’t mind,” rin answered, although he secretly wished to bask in your warmth for a little longer. “i’ll take you to your dorm building. i brought an umbrella.”

because he knew you were a klutz and would most likely forget. not that he paid attention to you or something. 

you smiled again, and rin had to use all of his might to let go of you and go back to his chair to pick up his stuff. silently, you both put away your things and left the study booth towards the exit, where the younger itoshi opened his umbrella and started to walk towards your destination. he felt his skin burning when you tangled your arm with his so that you were squeezed together under the shelter for the rain.

around ten minutes later, you finally arrived at your dorm building. and then, as the little minx you were, you stood on your toes to press a kiss to his cheek before running inside along with your goodbyes. 

“thank you, rin!”

he stood there like a statue for what felt like an eternity, feeling his face impossibly hot. rin touched his cheek in mild disbelief, feeling butterflies erupting on his stomach without permission. 

it was only then he realized you called him by his actual name, and a smile inevitably took over his features. 

fuck.

itoshi rin hated you. but that day, he discovered that he hated seeing you cry even more.

iv.

he didn’t really know what the fuck he was doing there. rin was not the kind of guy who went to parties, much less fraternity ones; but somehow he ended up in one on a saturday night after a lot of convincing from his teammates. he claimed he only accepted so that isagi would shut up and stop pestering him, but the said boy insisted to say he only agreed after learning you would be there. 

which was absurd, of course. a completely crazy, delusional and absurd thought. why would he want your obnoxious self to go and ruin the party? rin hated you. 

right?

the music was loud and the people were even louder. there were dozens of bodies on the makeshift dance floor swaying to the beat, along with some people playing beer pong and small groups scattered around talking as best as they could. rin was part of the last type, although he was tuning out everything that bachira blabbed on his ear like a madman. his focus was solely on the entrance.

and then, you came in. 

it was like a stupid romance movie — the way everything seemed to be in slow motion. from the way you walked, to the slight movement of your hair, to the blink of your curved eyelashes. and god, how much he hated that. 

he hated the way your mere presence prickled his skin. how your voice soothed his lousy thoughts, how your smile lit up the room. he hated this urge inside of him to look for you every time he knew you'd be in the same vicinity, like you were some source of life that he couldn’t live without. 

“are you okay, rin-chan?” bachira’s voice took him out of his thoughts. he blinked a few times.

“yeah, i’m fine.”

now, rin wasn’t a drinker; the red cup on his hand was merely for show. but he gulped some beer at that moment, as if trying to wake up from a hazy dream or get out of a trance. it made sense — he did think you were a siren of some sort. 

there was no other reason for the spell you put on him. 

the party went on, and he spent a few hours avoiding you like the plague and pretending he wasn’t stealing glances at every chance he got. truth is, he was always paying attention when you were swaying your hips on the dance floor like there was no tomorrow, glaring at every guy who thought about getting close while holding back his own desire to do the same.

it was only when you left to the backyard that his teammates finally decided to say something.

“you should talk to them” reo advised, eyebrows dancing in a weird, wiggly way. rin grimaced.

“what? why?”

the boys rolled their eyes and groaned, tired of the younger itoshi’s behavior. 

“rin, man. you are clearly interested in them. and i’m pretty sure they’re interested in you, too,” isagi said slowly, as if rin was a child. “otherwise, they wouldn’t make the effort to pester you.”

rin could feel his face flushing. “i’m not—”

“don’t even try to deny it. it’s kind of obvious, really,” chigiri butted in, an exasperated countenance on his face. “just go, rin.”

he let out a tsk, chugging the rest of his drink and throwing the cup on the trash. “i’m going out just because i don’t want to keep listening to you idiots.” 

“yeah, right,” nagi snickered, and the others followed, watching rin turn his back and move towards the backyard, where he would inevitably find you. 

the chilly air hit his skin the moment he stepped out, and rin kind of thanked the relief it gave to his hot cheeks. quickly looking around, it was easy to spot your lonely frame leaning on the wall, staring at the stars as if they weren’t in your eyes. he walked to you like his feet had their own will, and once he got close enough, leaned the side of his body on the wall, facing you.

“you’re cold.”

not even a hello, how are you to start. great conversationalist, itoshi rin.

you turned your head to look at him, smiling when recognition took over your features. “hey, itoshi! didn’t think i’d meet you here!”

the giggle that went past your lips was the only reason he didn’t scowl when you didn’t call him rin.

“parties are not really my thing, but my friends convinced me to come.” you nodded, understanding. he blinked a couple of times, and said again, “you’re cold.”

you slightly flushed. “it’s just a bit chilly, but it’s not a big deal…”

but rin was already shrugging off his jacket, moving to be right in front of you as if to shield you from the wind. he handed the piece of clothing to you. “here.”

“oh… thank you,” you answered, bashful, taking the jacket and putting it on. 

last time he lent you one, he didn’t stay to see how you looked like. but at that moment, rin was sure there was nothing prettier than the sight of you in his clothes. he swallowed a nervous lump from his throat.

“so… why are you out here by yourself?”

“needed some air. i danced a lot and it was kind of stuffy in there.” you shrugged. then, fiddling with your fingers, you look straight into his eyes. “and maybe… maybe i was hoping someone would follow.”

someone. you had your eyes on someone. 

rin didn’t know what was worse: the stinging pain on his heart or the bitter taste left on his tongue. what he did know was that both felt like poison, one that would spread through his veins and consume him whole. and that he shouldn’t feel like this. because he hated you, after all. 

he must have made a terrible grimace, because you threw your hands in the air in exasperation. 

“for fucks sake.”

and then your lips were on his. 

it was just a fleeting moment — something way too quick and definitely not enough to sate the dormant hunger inside of him. in the blink of an eye, you were already back in your place, staring at him with doe-eyes and a hundred doubts written in them. 

rin freezed for a whole full minute with his mouth agape, until finally lunging forward to kiss you again. his right arm wrapped possessively around your waist to glue your bodies together, while his left hand found a place in your jaw, cradling your face as if you were some precious jewel. his lips were hungry on yours, and you gasped with the intensity, giving him the opportunity to shove his tongue inside your mouth. 

kissing you was exhilarating, like scoring the perfect goal or winning a championship. adrenaline ran high on his veins and his head was a little airy. and rin swore he never felt so alive. 

when you finally parted, you were both panting, chest heaving with every breath. rin rested his forehead against yours, directing both of his hands to your middle as if to look for grounding. 

“you still hate me, itoshi?” you asked in a whisper, mouth inches away from his but still not close enough. that dangerous gleam was still settled in your eyes, and he could swear you were the perfect definition of sinful every time you batted your eyelashes at him.

“call me rin.”

“okay,” you giggled lightly. “you still hate me, rin?”

he could feel his blood pulsing on his ears. “yeah,” he answered, way too breathless for an athlete of his caliber. 

and then, holding your waist tighter, “kiss me again.”

v.

“we should get coffee.”

rin’s words cut the silence as you were exiting the library yet again. you looked up to see his face staring straight ahead, expression unreadable as always, but the light redness on the tip of his ears told you all you needed to know. 

you decided to be a tease, as always. “hm… i don’t know, should we? you sure you want to spend even more time with someone you hate?”

he scowled like usual, but this time, there was a small pout on his lips. you thought he looked the cutest when he was like that, all shy and trying to maintain his stoic act. 

he grumbled something under his breath. 

“what was that?”

“i said,” he sneered, “i don’t hate you, stupid.”

you arched your brow. “you don’t?”

“do you think i would have kissed you if i did?” the smirk you give him is both charming and infuriating. rin would have said he hated it, but he was done pretending. 

“i don’t know, itoshi. you are kind of emotionally constipated.”

“shut up,” rin quipped. then, he snaked your waist with his right arm as you walked side by side, pulling you closer. “and didn’t i tell you to call me rin?”

there was just mischief in your eyes when you answered, “yeah, but i like to get on your nerves.”

the male scoffed, still in disbelief with your antics. 

“you’re a damn brat. i think you just want me to teach you my name tonight.”

rin could practically feel the heat on your face, and he smirked when he saw how red you were. god, you were so cute. 

“at least take me to dinner first before we hate-fuck,” you still managed to joke, despite the slight shakiness in your voice. he rolled his eyes, and pulled you to a stop by the arm. 

you both stood in the middle of campus, feeling the gentle caress of the breeze and listening to the birds chirping. it was a peaceful day, with the sun high up in the baby blue sky. rin thought there was no better time than at that moment. 

his hand traced your arm until it reached your own, and he squeezed your fingers in reassurance. 

“i don’t hate you,” he said again. “i just hate the way i don’t hate you. not even close. not even a little bit. not even at all.”

he watched your eyes light up and smile brighter than the sun, and he almost laughed at the disbelief in your voice. 

“did you just quote ‘ten things i hate about you’?”

it was his time to flush. a small shrug was all rin answered with — he didn’t want you to know he specifically chose this sentence because that was your favorite movie. not like it mattered when you were gleaming at him and making his heart leap on his chest. 

“well, then,” you squeezed his hand back, “let’s get coffee, rin.”

© 2023 itoshiexx. do not plagarise, translate, or repost any of my work on here or other sites.

[thelittleliars]

Love Forever? | Pt. 2

Natasha Romanoff x fem!Reader Yelena Belova x fem!Reader (Platonic)

Warnings: cursing, yelling

Words: 2.1K

AN: This one has more interactions with Yelena than Natasha but it's all a huge part for the full story! Also the 3rd part is going to take at least 1-2 weeks since I'll be traveling to Budapest in the next couple of days! Gonna visit all the Black Widow filming locations there 🔥

Part 1 , Part 3

"Cyka" Yelena cursed in russian before she cursed you in english again. "You bitch! Why would you travel to Russia without me?" She shook her head in disappointment, you saw a grin on her lips tho when she turned her head to the side to see who walked in. You didn't see who it was since you were on FaceTime with her and only she was in the frame. "Who is in Russia?" You heard her voice in the background asking Yelena.

"Your ex-wife." Ex-wife, it was still something that pained you but the separation did you good. Your anxiety with all the worrying whenever Natasha went on a mission was gone now. You felt more at peace thanks to the break up. "Anyways, have you visit mama and papa yet? Last time I heard they were going insane to see you again. Apparently they can't wait to spoil you rotten with russian culture and stories of us as kids ugh."

"Don't forget about the baby pictures they're gonna show her." Nat reminded Yelena who's expression looked a mix of embarrassment and panic. "Yours gonna be there too Natalia. Can't wait for Y/N to see your awful blue hair phase."

You saw a shadow coming closer to the blonde widow, then a hand came into view hitting the back of her head. "You little bitch! Next time I'm there I'll burn all of them."

"Let's just burn the whole place down yeah?" A gasp escaped your mouth, even though you knew she was kidding it was something she'd really do. "Yel NO! Also Nat please don't burn any of them." You said sadly. "I wish I had at least a single photo of myself as a child. Hell I don't even know where I'm from, apart from being held by hydra for half my life."

"Guess we're all in the same boat. None of us knows where exactly we come from. Oh oh we can be the lost daughters buddies." The younger sister screamed out in pain after her older sister slapped the back of her head once again. "Try sheering her up instead of ruining the mood with some sad shit from our past."

Suddenly your screen went black, you were about yo look at your wifi to see if the connection was lost but before that could even happen you heard a chair screeching. "What gave you the right to give me that fucking advice huh? How about you stay out of my business with her since you were the one who destroyed your relationship." Yelena was mad, no she was furious with her sister, that's why you weren't surprised that she hung up on you. This was a great time to start driving towards your (ex) parents in law.

You took your bags, threw them into the car you rented, then jumping into the drivers seat and made your way towards Melina's and Alexei's little farm outside of Saint Petersburg. Not long after, you arrived your destination, Melina and Alexei both stood outside already as if they were expecting you. You did not call or text them since it was supposed to be a surprise.

"Ahh finally, my daughter is home again." Alexei walked to you and immediately his arms around your body, squeezing you to death. "I need to breath big guy." He let you go but still smiled at you happily. "Come on inside. I'll show you your room. We decorated a bit, hope you'll like it."

The decoration he was talking about were only new curtains and a stuffed penguin animal. You appreciated their effort.

Later that day when you were outside feeding the pigs, you heard and saw a Quinjet coming. Of course Yelena had the nerve taking a jet and flying to russia. But she wasn't alone. Natasha also tagged along. You gulped at the sight of her standing there in casual clothes. It was actually your first time seeing her in six months. The last time was after the divorce all those months ago. Alexei of course was the happiest, now that all his daughters were home. Melina was happy to see them too but she was more worried about you. At times she was more protective over you than Yelena and even though it was heartwarming, it pained you too. She was like a mother figure that you never had. The longing and grieving of a life you could have had nearly destroyed you whenever you think deeply about it.

"Natasha I need a little help in the kitchen." Was all she said before going inside and the red head trailing after her like a good god. Yelena and dad catched up on stuff while you sat down on a bench near the front door that had a great view on the animals. You had no clue how much time had gone by until your friend and sister sat down next to you. "What is on your mind Y/N Y/L/N?" She tried to get you talking by saying your whole name as teasing but you were starting to feel numb so nothing would bother you anyways.

"As you'd say my ex wife." Seeing her after all this time stirred up a lot of thoughts in you. "What about her precisely?"

You sighed quietly. "I don't know. I guess it's just us in general and how we ended up here." It wasn't a lie but also not the whole truth either. You didn't want to talk in details since you knew it would get you in a vulnerable state. "She was a bitch for demanding that divorce.."

Out of reflex you started to defend your ex. "She got trigged Yel-" "No. Don't. Don't you dare make excuses for her." Yelena cut you off fast. She hated you for defending Natasha in this situation when you deserved so much better.

"It's just the truth. Plus I'm not as innocent in this situation as you think I am." You could have fought more for your wife but instead you signed the divorce papers quick. Probably because of the things that happened before the accident. "Natasha and I had a pretty nasty fight right before she got called on a mission and got her head injury." You paused for a minute. "If I'm being honest.. our marriage was falling apart anyways."

Yelena gaped at you. "I don't understand Natasha always talked so highly of you." You wished that was true, you wished all the good she found in you was actually good.

"I told you this was going to happen!" You yell at her, feeling angry and betrayed that she didn't listen to you. "And yet you ignored me and continue doing it anyways." Natasha hates herself for not listening to you but she'd never admit that out loud. Instead she blames you for everything, she knows it is wrong but it's difficult for her being truthful and vulnerable right now. "This wouldn't have happened if you were more open to the idea of being more affectioned in public. Maybe then he'd have known that I'm not single!"

"He kissed you. Because you kept flirting with him to get what you want.. you're an avenger for gods sake! You can get anything you want just by asking Tony or any of us." You stop yourself from getting even more louder. A deep breath and a few seconds is all you need to be more calm. "You know what? Maybe they all were right when they said you are a monster. Because right now, that's all I see."

The fight didn't leave your mind, it stayed and harassed you daily on repeat. You knew you guys covered up a lot of your problems. A marriage is a piece of work and you guessed you both weren't just ready for that huge marriage step. "Would you ever take her back?" She asked you softly. You were looking so hard for the right words to say but you fell flat. "I'm not in love with her anymore so I don't know." Though you didn't know for sure you constantly told yourself you'rw not in love anymore. If that was the truth then why did you panic when a knock came from the door frame? Why did your heart beat faster when you saw it was Natasha who knocked?

"Dinner is ready." Her voice was quiet but still so damn soft. While you stood up and walked towards the front foor, Yelena's gaze lingered on you for a while before she rushed after you into the house. At dinner you all fell into a comfortable conversation. It felt very awkward at first especially since you were convinced that your ex-lover overheard what you told Yelena. You were also anxious but it got better once Alexei started talking about his new tattoo shop. He had opened it two months ago and was fully booked out already. You were happy for him, tattoos were something what he was extremly good at so the demand was so deserved. After dinner was over you all three went to the bedrooms which you all had to share.

The next morning you wondered why 'dad' was still here. He explained that there was a new girl who worked at his tattoo shop, helping him out for all the appointments. Then he joked about how he'd set any of you three up with her. The blonde daughter just snorted, not wanting anything to do with romance, but he was too excited for an introduction to notice Yelena's obvious disinterest. Maybe he did notice since he showed a photo of her only to Natasha and you. And that was when something struck in you, you didn’t know how or why but you had to see the girl personally. You asked him where his shop was located and after giving you directions you stood up, turned to Yelena asking her to drive you there. Natasha felt irritated at how fast you wanted to see that new girl.

As soon as your eyes met hers, everything around you stopped, you felt a pull to her, a magical pull that you couldn't control. Your arms came around each other and somehow nothing on the world made more sense than this moment.

"Voi herranjumala." (Oh my god.) She said something in a language you thought you knew yet you didn't understood a thing. You pulled away, still standing close to her, she then put your face in between her hands. "Kaipaan sinua, kaksos Y/N." (I missed you, twin Y/N)

"Please don't tell me this is some long lost love reunion." Yelena groaned in misery. You looked at her cluelessly, hoping she'd also pick up your silent plead to help you out in this situation. "Don't look at me! You were the one who rushed me here and hugged her like no there's no tomorrow."

The girl next to you cleared her throat before speaking up, this time finally in a language you all could understand. "Ohh right.. I'm sorry I forgot you don't understand Finnish anymore." Anymore?? What the hell did that mean? "We don't have much time, I'll explain everything later. Twin Y/N do tell me, have you found your one and only?"

You blinked at her. "My what?" She cursed in Finnish, huffing and what seemed beating herself up about something. "Your, what humans would call here, Soulmate." You didn't question her 'what humans' and just shook your head. "I thought I did but no."

"Tell me, what happened?" Her gaze turned extremly intense, you started to feel uncomfortable. "Well we started to fight at one point and then she got a head injury and et voila we were divorced."

Yelena had enough of this conversation, the pulled you backwards and stood in front of you, giving the other girl a death stare. "Whatever you're doing to Y/N has to stop right now or otherwise I'll beat you up." You knew she was dead serious about it, your sister in law was super protective over you. "I'm not doing anything, it's all her doing. We do have to stop talking so slowly, we need to hurry."

"Why hurry? I don't understand?" She visibly got more restless which stresses you out. "You're out of time soon. We have to find your soulmate now." You shock your head at the lady and her crazy words. "I'm sorry this has to be done." And with one finger snap, both of you were gone.

Tags: @iamthescarlettwitch , @dark-hunter16 , @marvel-fan-2021 , @myfturn , @natsxwife , @wandanats-goodgirl , @supaheroine , @00alycia , @xxsekhmet , @franfrolix , @lonewalker17 , @newawakening9 , @marvelwomen-simp , @automaticwizardnerd , @wifeofnatasharomanoff

[heavyhitterheaux]

Love the Way You Love Me

A First Lady of Private Garden Fic

Liked by jackharlow, angiemartinez, urbanwyatt, druski2funny, saweetie, and 9,306,742 others

y/ninsta: I was all smiles during my radio interview with angiemartinez once she mentioned my baby jackharlow 😭 LOVE THAT MAN TO DEATH 🥺

jackharlow: 🙈🙈🙈

jackharlow: always and forever baby girl 😘

saweetie: my favorite couple ever 💕

normani: I just love the way yall love each other. that's some soul mate shit if I ever seen it.

dualipa: but.... y/ninsta what about our love? 😐

jackharlow: dualipa you tryna get all the smoke this morning huh? 😡

y/ninsta: dualipa in another life my darling

jackharlow: WHAT? NO. She's my wife in the next lifetime and all the ones after that

y/ninsta: that's my man and imma stick beside him 😌

maggieharlow: the way you two talk about each other 🥰🥰

y/ninsta: maggieharlow I literally am always thanking you and Brian for raising such an amazing person 🥺

claybornharlow: y/ninsta I know right. I am pretty amazing 🥰

urbanwyatt: I mean I guess he's an okay dude

jackharlow: urbanwyatt and clayborn take your asses on somewhere

jackharlow: y/ninsta you make my world go round smush 😘

"So Y/N, you have just been out here killin it left and right. I know Private Garden is proud of you. Especially your husband."

"The way that they support me is insane. There was a time I was nervous to rap in front of them and it wasn't until Jack came home early and caught me. He didn't know I could rap until late 2019."

"That is crazy, so all you did was write and produce?"

"Yeah, ever since we were younger. I always loved to write and started out writing poems when I was around eleven. That soon led to me writing songs."

"So what led you to want to come out in the spotlight and make a name for yourself?"

"Literally because PG and Jack pushed me. It was a good thing. I remember it was the last night of his creme de la creme tour and he was like it's time. Because when he first caught me I was like there is no way I'm releasing anything and I was like babe, let's just focus on you first. Once we did that, he was like it's go time. I'm not taking no for an answer."

"I absolutely love the way you two are just so supportive of each other. And you two first met when you were both 14?"

"Yes, it's so insane because who would've thought that me moving to Kentucky would lead me to the love of my life."

"You both are so fortunate to find love at a young age, so what keeps it going and what makes it work?"

"It's like people don't understand that you have to want your relationship to work and want it bad and put in the effort. You have to be all in and that's what makes it work for us. We're a team with everything that we do. Like without a question or doubt in my mind. Communication is a huge factor and we never keep anything from each other no matter how big or small it is. Honesty is key."

"I've heard people mention that it seems as if you don't do anything without getting his approval first."

"It's not the fact that I need approval. It's the fact that he's my husband and I value his opinion as well as his feelings. I never want to do anything to break his trust in me and he's the same way. I look at it like this. He's my husband and I am submissive towards him because he's a leader. He has never steered me wrong with the decisions that he has made and I know he won’t. He literally treats me like a queen and makes sure that I want for nothing. He's made sure of that the entire time we've known each other."

"Tell me about the parents finding out you two had been married for almost five years. That was insane."

"Okay so, Jack proposed a week after I had turned 19 in my parents backyard at 1 in the morning with no ring. He was like when I get my first million, I'll get you whatever you want. So I had described what I wanted and did not mention it again. The same night he told me that it was time to release my music, he gave it to me. I most definitely cried. But I had a feeling my mom and dad knew. I don't remember what I said one time talking to her but she gave me the side eye and I quickly changed the subject. Now Jack's parents especially his mom was ready to fight him only because she wanted to be there since I remember on Jack's 16th birthday she was like you two are going to get married one day."

"That is insane for her to have known that early."

"Okay so this is crazy and I actually never told Jack this. Before I moved to Kentucky, I had a dream about a year earlier showing me walking down the aisle. I couldn't see my husband's face, but once I got closer, it was Jack so I literally had my dream show me my husband before we even met."

"That... that's powerful."

"Like he's it for me. And when I first met him in person, my breath hitched. I was like, this is really about to happen. This is the man I'm going to marry."

"Tell me about how your parents felt when you decided not to go to college and move with your boyfriend to Atlanta."

"That was a really hard conversation. They knew I wanted to move back once I graduated high school. They were concerned because I was always told as a black woman in this society that I had to work twice as hard to get half of what they have. They just wanted for me to be secure. There necessarily wasn't a doubt in their mind that Jack wouldn't take care of me but, the conversation ended with me and my mom in tears. But we made up before I left. I know that she only wants the best for me and that she was scared. She just wanted for me to be okay and I can't blame her for that."

"It's a blessing to have your parents in your corner wanting the best for you and cheering you on."

"I would not be anywhere without my parents as well as my in-laws who are my second set of parents. There have been times when I called Maggie at 3 in the morning just because I need advice on a situation and she is always there for me. Same goes for Brian. I always thank them for giving me Jack."

"You literally light up like a kid on Christmas when you talk about him. I love that."

"He's my forever. I could talk about that man for hours."

"So, what's next for the first lady of Private Garden?"

"Just bringing smiles to people's faces as I continue to reach the goals that I set for myself. I want to be remembered as an entertainer who wasn't afraid to be different and shows that being yourself is what is going to lead you to greatness."

"And there you have it. Y/N, thank you so much for coming to visit us. Don't take so long next time!"

"I promise I won't!"

---

Jack had just finished watching your interview with Angie Martinez and was nothing but smiles.

He was currently at home waiting for you to come back from said interview and was just taking time to reflect on how far the two of you had come.

He was interrupted by the front door opening and immediately hopped up from the couch to give you a kiss and a bone crushing hug.

"Oh, hi baby! Are you okay?" You asked as he was still tightly holding you.

"I just... words cannot literally express how much I love you and how much you mean to me."

"Aww, stink. I love you too. Always have and always will."

"I just finished watching your interview and the dream you had? Insane."

"Yeah, and we hadn't even met yet. I didn't tell you, but when we first met, I had to do a double take. I was like that's him!"

Jack had given you another kiss before leading you both to the couch to sit sliding you onto his lap.

"And the way you just trust me?"

"Because you have never steered me wrong. Marriage and career included."

"I don't deserve you."

"Stop that right now Jackman. Yes you do. I just love the way you love me and I...."

"Yes? What's wrong?"

"I want to ask you something, but I'm nervous."

"Baby, why are you nervous? You know you can come to me for anything."

"I know, but.. "

"Come on, pretty girl. Tell me."

"I think I'm ready to have a baby." You respond while looking down.

Jack tilted your chin up to look at him and smiled.

"Baby girl, that's what you're scared of telling me?"

"I just with both of our careers. I just..."

"Y/N, stop for a minute."

Jack then took your hand in his and began making small circles on the back of it.

"I would love to have mini versions of us running around. If my baby wants a baby, her wish is my command."

"Wait, really?"

"You're already gorgeous now, but I can't wait to see you carrying our baby."

"Promise to paint my toes when I can't see my feet anymore?"

"Promise. And you should know me better than that. Mrs. Harlow is not lifting a finger during her entire pregnancy."

"There's no one I would rather share this life with." You said while kissing his nose.

"Not going to lie, I teared up a little bit watching you earlier."

"Aww, why baby?"

"To hear you say you love me is one thing, but to hear you explain why and what makes our relationship work... I'm so happy you moved in across the street from me. I saw the cute little girl with the braids and I was done for. Had me wrapped around your finger ever since."

"It was your blue eyes, chubby cheeks, and freckles for me. Still remember you turning red as a tomato when I first talked to you."

"Can you blame me mamas? Gorgeous then and gorgeous now."

"We're in this together, stink. We're building an empire for our babies so they'll want for nothing."

"Sooo, can we get started now?"

"You know my answer is always going to be yes." You replied while kissing him and he proceeded to stand up while carrying you bridal style up the steps.

"Wait...babe?"

"Yes, my love?"

"Google positions we have to do in order to have a girl."

Taglist:

@harlowsbby

@babyharleezy

@hoodharlow

@stefansalvatoresgf

@jackiehollanderr

@primadxna-girl

@dessmxsworld

@cockslutslurper3000

@raelorns21

@variety-fangirl

@gbaabyyyy

@kamorsstuff

@harlowthot

@sinsandsuccubus

@curlyhairclub

@bootlegroach

@haylexo10

@thinkingaboutjharlow

@laylasbunbunny

@fluidsentiment

@charli123456789

@moody4world

@yourstrulymayah

@yana4life

@beanbagbitch

@alinadolans

@carma-fanficaddict

@minaxcarter

@arination99

@xjup1t3r

@venusvinc

@jacksmoviestar

@jackharloww

@midnight-star47

@jackharlowsbabe

@minkookie95

@inluvwithladybug

@tynesharandolph8633-blog

[prettypinktulips]

Hello, hope you are having a lovely day so far!

I just stumbled by your account lol and I wanted to request if your okay of course!

Male reader x Cassidy!

The male reader is Mercy’s younger brother! One day Mercy decided to take her young brother to meet the team and see her work basically. The male reader is very shy and doesn't like socializing unless he's comfortable with them! Ofc has glasses lol! He gets along with everyone especially with the girls lol since they enjoy his presence and how adorable and nice he is like his big sister, Mercy! Incoming Cassidy having the biggest crush on her little brother loving every part of him especially his personality. Everyone knows that the Cowboy is down bad for Mercy's little brother, and mercy gets protective ofc her being the big sister. Overall, just Cassidy trying to prove to Mercy that his capable of protecting her brother and loving him!!!!💌

Again you don't have to do this request, good day!💌🪴🫧

he is so babygirl how could u nit like a cowboy especially a love struck cowboy!! || THANK U FOR REQUESTING sometimes it takes me a little to process stuff so dont think im ignoring u when i dont respond right away!?!?! i was just so overwhelmed with joy when people requested !!! ALSO HEADS UP for this im just gonna put y/n with white hair cus hes mercys brother u can imagine him with other colours if u want also NOT LIMITED TO SPECIFIC HAIR TYPES ALL MALE READERS ARE WELCOME!

"Do I really have to go?" Y/N sighed and frowned slightly. "What if they don't like me.." Mercy shook her head and smiled at him hoping it would cheer Y/N up. "Trust me, they'll love you (n/n)!" She gently grabbed her brothers hand and held it close. "And if they don't I'll make sure to take care of them, okay?" Mercy said, earning a chuckle from her brother. "Alright, Alright. Fine." Y/N sighed in defeat.

-------------------

THE HEADQUARTERS

Mercy walked in and held Y/N by her side, Y/N was swallowing hard what if the team didn't like him. And what if Mercy wasn't there to protect him all of the time? That would be insane, Mercy almost never leaves him. Until she has to go work of course, this was one of the main reasons Mercy offered to take him to the headquarters, so they didn't have to be separated. When the doors closed behind them everyone made an immediate glance towards them. Y/N tried to choke down all of his nervousness.

"Hey everyone!" Mercy smiled. Y/N could already tell Mercy was most of everyone's favorite. How could she not? She's really friendly and sociable. D.Va was the first to approach him. "You're such a cutie! Almost as cute as me!" She pinched his cheek as some of the other women started to surround him, he felt sweat start to form on his face as he got a little anxious.

Cassidy was watching back from the corner, he was sitting in his chair with his arms crossed. So what if he's Mercy's brother? Doesn't make him better than anybody else. He thought to himself, laying his fist against his cheek. He watched Y/N's every move as he bit his lip slightly. For some reason it was making him quite angry that so many.. women were surrounding Y/N, he didn't know why it just did. Mccree stood up and cleared his throat a bit loud, gaining the attention of everyone. "Seems like the new guy would like some space.. isn't that right, sugar?"

Y/N felt his eyes widen a little. Is he talking to me?! He blushed a lot and nodded slightly. "I..I guess it would be nice to have some space to myself.." He adjusted his glasses a little. Cassidy motioned Y/N to come sit by him and he easily obeyed, Y/N sat down next to the cowboy and sat there a bit awkwardly. Mercy raised an eyebrow and looked over at the two. "Hmm." He never seemed interested when I talked about my brother, I wonder what his deal is? "Mccree." She semi-yelled at him and crossed his arms.

"Yeah?" Cassidy chuckled and started to stand, he looked down at Y/N. "We'll continue this in a bit, sugar." He looked back over at Mercy and walked up to her. Y/N was just confused. He knew nothing about this guy and he's just calling him pet names! But then it also seems he does it with everybody else.. So I guess he's not as special as he thought. Back to him and Mercy all Y/N could do was watch their face expressions and try to picture out what they could possibly be talking about. "What do you think you're doing with my brother?" Mercy hissed quietly, she obviously had a more rather angry look on her face. Y/N has never seen her angry. "What are you talking about, darling? I'm just trying to learn about him. Like everybody else." He smirked. "I told you to stop calling me those names! You're making this much worse than it should."

"So I can't talk to him but everyone else can? That doesn't seem fair." Mccree smirked obviously knowing that he's pissing her off. "I've seen what you done to the other people that you tried to 'talk to' my brother doesn't deserve that!" Mercy pushed him to the side and walked over to Y/N, she sat down in what was Cassidy's chair. "Y/N, do not talk to him, okay? He's nothing but bad news!" Y/N was a little confused but gave an unsure nod. I don't know what he said but it seemed to make her really upset.

Cassidy rolled his eyes and walked up to them. He crossed his arms and looked down at the siblings. "She doesn't know what the hell she's talking about! I wasn't trying to date those people.. they were just one night stands! Mercy thinks I'm trying to have a one night stand with you, sugar." Y/N felt his eyes widen a little and backed into his chair a little. One night stand? The hell is he talking about! "I.." Y/N was left speechless.. what was he supposed to say to that? "Nobody wants to hear about your one night stands!" Mercy hurried to stand and looked at the cowboy. "You want my brother bad, huh?" Mercy scowled him and grabbed him by his hair, she looked into his eyes. "You so much as look at him the wrong way you can go ahead and kiss your other arm goodbye." Thats the first time anyone has seen Mercy be so.. intimidating, everyone else was just sitting there;watching.

Y/N just sat there watching too, his mouth hanging open a little. He never knew his sister could be this formidable. "Alright, alright! Just let me go!" Cassidy tried to pull her hand away as a soft whimper left his lips. Mercy eventually let him go after a few more minutes of scolding and threatening him. Everyone was definitely going to tease him later for this. He sat back down next to Y/N as he tried to fix his hair a bit. "Y..You have feelings for me?" Y/N barely mumbled out looking into Cassidy's eyes, the cowboy nodded and crossed his arms. "Did you not see the conversation me and your sister just had?" They both chuckled. "Well.. I suppose having a little fun with you would hurt, cowboy." Y/N smiled.

[lpsotd]

Another anon who read the tags on your last post here! I've felt the need to write something myself since your situation feels so similar to mine when I was younger and maybe my experiences will help you in some way. Feel free to not respond to this if it's uncomfortable, it's totally okay! :)

I also didn't have a supportive family when it came to my interests, still kind of don't. I'm 22 (soon to be 23) and my family members are still looking at me funny regarding my hobbies, just like they did when I was 14-15. It was weird for them to see a child… liking toys and shows made for kids I guess?? They've also said that I was mature for my age, but let me tell you this is INCREDIBLY coercive. ''Since we've called you mature, you wouldn't want to betray us and do something childish now, would you?'' - guys. Just because YOU'VE called me mature doesn't mean that it's true. Maybe I am mature but EMOTIONALLY or got good grades at school. But it doesn't necessarily mean that I will abandon anything that brings me comfort and joy for the sake of a byname that won't mean anything to me. Ever. I think that being mature also means accepting what is dear to you and not being ashamed of that. Being mature is being responsible for your own well being - which you do by enjoying your hobbies! By surrounding yourself with things that will make you get through life a bit easier. Throwing everything out, or denying ever liking said thing is the childish thing to me here.

It's good to read that you want to embrace who you are! After all - we only have one life to live. Why waste it on pleasing everyone around instead of ourselves? ESPECIALLY if it's a hobby that does NO HARM to anyone (well maybe except your wallet). Don't ever let go of what you love, unless YOU decide it's time to move on. I still keep my LPS collection after all those years, after being told countless of times to ''sell them, because you will save some good money'' or just to give them away. What if (stay with me here) I WILL decide what to do with MY property?

And regarding those people who've belittled you for your interests - I am still recovering from the same thing that happened almost a decade ago at school. But I've learned that not everyone behaves like those mean bullies - maybe some people are genuinely interested in what I have to say? Maybe we can bond over this? Maybe I can get a new friend who will accept my ''weird'' hobbies? And thanks to that mindset I've tried opening to more and more people, only to find out that those bullies were the MINORITY and usually people are glad to hear they're not alone in their hobbies or pleasant memories. It made me feel so much less anxious about myself, I can't recommend trying to open up enough!! Sorry if this ask got long, I had plenty of thoughts in my brain it seems, haha. Anyway, OP you're not alone in your struggles and if you have any worries feel free to say so! Stay awesome <3

~lots of love from anon

i think it's kinda insane that adults expect children to immediately grow out of the things they like in favor of more "mature" interests and media. like, why can't that 13 year old watch my little pony? would you prefer it if they were watching that or something like euphoria? 😭 why is it so bad and weird when children are acting like children and want to engage with media that was literally created for them. that's something i don't think i'll ever understand

i'm happy to now be surrounded by people who care about me and indulge in my interests, and i hope you are able to have that too anon !!

[acheronist]

RAHHHHH ok 71 posting time.

empress is a beautiful interpretation and honestly probably more valid than my own bullshit. but to ME dylan's card is temperance

having a clear vision of what he wants (detroit to win. and be a dynasty again. very similar to when steve was drafted and he looked at the shambling mess of the detroit dead wings and said Huh. Okay. Well I guess i'm gonna be the one to fix this!)

being patient and devoted (and/or devout? how much do we want to delve into hockey as a lifestyle vs hockey as religion) enough to the team that he's willing to sign eight years after five years of rebuild depression soulrot failure misery just to be there and see it happen

having a genuine sense of balance / harmony flowing thru him (which i think is actually something he kind of lacks? having watched this guy skate since 2018 i think i'm allowed to say i have a good sense of how he plays and how he thinks just from observation) but he's always been very on/off. in the sense that his only immediate emotional reactions tend to ricochet between the extremes of "OH WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK 313 DETROIT RED WINGS FOREVER BITCH" and "i would to kill myself to repent for this failure except i'm the leader and thats a bad example to set so i'll just sit here with tears in my eyes and guilt in my heart while fielding impersonal media questions" and yet the way he acts as captain? is somehow the perfect line of being fair and reserved and moderate but still firm and fair in every regard. like if he wasn't captain, idk if i would give him this card, but he is, and when he's out there talking down the refs who want to skew detroit's chances over again with his big terrifying brown eyes and snarling grin while his giant european teenaged sons loom behind him waiting for HIS permission to stop being gentlemen and stand up for themselves in the corners, i do think Ohhh. He Is Temperance. He's the one setting the standards and showing the younger guys: in this town we don't get much help, but we uphold a certain decorum, and we are not violent for violence's sake. we stand our own and our wrath is not an easy thing to provoke.

being capable enough to manage a lot of moving parts. being captain in detroit is not as much of a frivolous thing as it is elsewhere. it doesn't change often. we dont retire every number of a guy who was kind of important. we would rather have years with four alternates rather than rush someone into role of captain (again, stevie's attempts to protect dylan from the insane psychological problems he had to take on as a rookie captain leading a horrendous team parallels are at it again) and even without that official patch on his jersey, everyone knew what a leader he was, how much of his heart was in this, how dedicated he was to taking care of the rookies and supporting the veteran guys whose bodies are falling apart and facing media questions and standing up proudly despite despite despite despite!!!!!! and never taking a moment to collapse or cry or throw up his hands and say I can't do this anymore. he literally is going to multitask this team to a cup and you all better say thank you when it happens.

taking matters into his own hands. in the temperance card, the figure pours water back and forth between two cups, seeing it change and become something else as it moves and transforms. this is exactly what his role in the team is: to be the one on the inside of the locker room that's shaping and transforming expectations, work ethic, devotion... to a lot of guys in the nhl it seems like it's a job, and they can do their role on a team in any city. dylan can't. he's on the front lines of improving the detroit red wings (reputation, alliances, rivalries, technical gameplay, or otherwise,) or he's not actually doing his job correctly. he can't just pack up and play in canada and be a third line center. that's not what he's meant to be doing.

@crossbackpoke-check hi

[fabianvalencia561]

⚠️ Warning: *before you read this part of the story* BLOOD AND GORE *it's not a lot but it's a warning*⚠️

(eventually Jackie snapped out of his memories to realize what happened. He looked down at the person that he was talking to. It was snowing hard and the wind blew quickly.)

???: You alright there Jackie... *The person said.*

Corrupted Leader: .... !!- uhh o- of course...

???: ...hmmm.... Well I said that I'm glad that you were able to send that ghost to Bertram (aka: Sir Topham Hatt) though I did wish you got any other spirit than... Hector...

Corrupted Leader: Well.. if I did anyone else it probably wouldn't have worked.... Besides you know Hector is afraid of you even when he's dead....

???: I guess you are right.. well.... I should be heading off now....

Corrupted Leader: Wait! ..... *He was quiet for a bit.* ...... Actually can you do me a favor?

???: *They were a little bit shocked* really?.... Hmm... Well what is it my dear Jackie?

Corrupted Leader: ... I was wondering if you can find these guys for me...*he hands them a picture. The picture was of the two diesels he was remembering.*... Please I need anyone's help to find them.....

???: *They were quiet for a while* I think... I know who they are... Don't worry me and the others will gladly bring them to you....

Corrupted Leader: Good.... Thank you....

*The person left quickly. Corrupted Leader walked back into an abandoned building he stood there for a bit and then he looked at the book. The book was resting on an old table.*

Corrupted Leader: ..... *He heard something that was coming from his bag.* ???

*He opened it and realized that it was Scotsman well Scotsman's in his core.*

Scotsmen: *He was very angry.* .... *He slowly came out of his core.*

Corrupted Leader: .... Why so angry?

Scotsman: You know damn well why.... I heard what you did...

Corrupted Leader: what it wasn't bad--

Scotsman: IT WAS BAD EVERYTHING YOU DID WAS BAD!! *he looked at the book* AND THAT BOOK IS GOING TO BE THE END OF YOU IF YOU DON'T GIVE IT BACK!!! IT DOESN'T BELONG TO YOU!!!

Corrupted Leader: .... Well I believe you are wrong... I'm fixing up this world.... And THIS book is helping me.... And when I think about it..... I don't have a choice to give the book back so might as well use it.... Also like I said I need it...

Scotsman: For what exactly? You already have enough of those... Corrupted... To easily take over... This.. world *he soon realized what Corrupted Leader was going to do with that book* .... So other universes... you want.... Everything to be-

Corrupted Leader: -Fixed.... So no one can suffer or hurt like I did.... If I fixed everything then... No more suffering no more any of that..

Scotsman: .... This man is insane... *He thought to himself* ....

Corrupted Leader: now I'll put you back in my bag... Maybe later on I can get to work on fixing smaller universes.... *He opened up the book and looked around for different kinds of universes* .... Hmm I think I know which one to fix soon... Well better get to work....

........

Patchwork: is something wrong Diesel??

Diesel: ..... Nothings wrong..... I think.....

Patchwork: then why do you look so tired?

Diesel: I've... I've been having a strange dream for a while now.... I used to have this dream when I was younger but eventually it stopped but it seems like it came back....

Patchwork: What is the dream about? *He asked quietly*

Diesel: ... Well it was nothing crazy.... But in the dream... There were just these two eyes looking at me they seemed to be crying... The whole dream was about that... I tried to talk to them but.... Once I talk they seem to get scared and disappear then I would be alone in darkness....

Patchwork: whoa that's a very strange dream.... And kinda sad....

Diesel: I'll admit... I feel like I'm... Connected to those eyes.... They feel familiar... But I don't know why.... I should probably ask my dad... Or Proteus and Pinchy.... I don't know...

Patchwork: Well maybe.. I can try to help you first... Because they seem busy... Maybe we could talk to the Proteus out there in the sheds and also he's with that other angel... Atharva I think is his name..

Diesel: ... Well maybe me and you can try to figure this out on our own first...

Patchwork; ok...

..... :]

[wilcze-kudly]

Thank you @nova-leaf for this tag too 🥰

wow i get to talk about myself so much im nervous

•How many tumblr accounts have you had before this one?

This is gonna be my fith tumblr account lol. I lose track of them really easily because I'm a silly funky guy with so much wrong with me.

• How long have you been in fandom?

Oh like. Since I was 10? God I remember my firat forays into fandom culture on amino it was an experience good god. My first fandom was Tolkien. I've only recently gotten into the Avatar fandom though. Still not sure how that happened but I'm having fun 🥰

•Your favorite trope in fiction?

I adore found family, cause I'm basic lol. The power of friendship is also a cheesy beloved of mine.

•Your favorite random fact?

Tolkien had beef with the Beatles. Hayao Miyazaki hates the Beatles. Junji Ito loves the Beatles.

•Your favourite game or kind of game?

Skyrim is my favourite game. Open world RPGs are my escape. I love them so much I try not to play them too often or I'll never get up lol.

•A place you’d like to visit? (If carbon emissions, logistics and money weren’t in question)

Hm. This is a tough one. I like to travel and I want to go to many places. But if I had to pick one point off that list, it would pribably be mount Shasta. I'm just curious, I guess, with all the legends and disappearances and odd happenings around it. Like I just wanna see the place not even have anything supernatural happen. Just be there for a bit? Call it morbid curiosity. Also the area seems beautiful even of itself like even if the aliens don't get me i think it'd be a nice hike.

•An animal you’re irrationally afraid of?

Ants. I like most bugs. I like spiders. But ants? Ants give me straight up panic attacks? I don't know why. There's just something very terrifying aout them.

Also. Swans. But that's not an irrational fear. Geese and swans are in my opinion the true successors of dinosaurs. If you haven't been a girl scout cowering in a flimsy tent with your three other girl scout friends, in the middle of a thunderstorm, while a pair of feral swans is trying to peck their way into your tent you do not know true fear.

Their pecks hurt like a bitch too. Their beaks are serrated like a fucking saw.

•What’s your favourite season?

Autumn. In Poland we divide Autumn into two mini seasons. Golden Autumn, which is early autumn, when the freshly fallen leaves are all crispy and beautiful. And then we have Rainy Autumn, which is when it has rained and gotten much colder. I love both.

•A smell that brings you nice memories?

Tea. I started drinking tea when I was very young. My dad is an Englishman and the moment i stopped drinking breastmilk i was immediately given tea with milk.

I think I associate tea very strongly with my family and feeling loved by them. When I was younger, my parents would often wake up before me, so they would often make me tea and wake me up with it.

Making tea for someone is still a huge gesture of affection to me and there's nothing quite like the smell of a nice hot cup of tea.

(If you’re ok talking about food. If not, delete this part)

•What’s your favorite food from where you were born? And what’s your favorite food from some place else?

My favourite food from Poland, huh? I love a lot of Polish foods, but I if I had to pick something it'd probably be krówki [which translates to 'little cows']. They're fudgelike candies, similair to Scottish Tablets and White Rabbit Creamy Candy. They're delicious.

For food from a different country? @nova-leaf has put the idea of Shortbread into my head now so that's all ill be thinking about I have to see if I have the stuff to make some at home or I'll go insane.

•What’s your favorite drink (if you drink alcohol, alcoholic and non-alcoholic)?

Alcoholic: Salty Caramel flavoured Krupnik. It is very difficult to explain what a Krupnik is? Its kind of like a liqueur.

Non Alcoholic: Orange Juice. It used to be diet coke but my addiction got so bad i had to quit cold turkey lest I completely wreck my health.

•Do you give your pets random table scraps?

Not random table scraps, but if I have any extra of whatever I'm cooking, and if they can eat it, I'll sometimes give them some as a snack or as an incentive while training them.

Thanks for the tag honey!

Tagging: @linnorabeifong @thatoneguy56fanfic @novaae @thenamescaba

[willowser]

Hey hey Willow heyyyy ✨ I'll apologize in advance for coming with silly tots only!

But you know when you admire someone and you like the way they think and everytime they say something you're like !!!!!!!! YES EXACTLY!!! and you giggle at silly lil things they've said or how they've said them cause it makes you feel so pffttt 💓 and you live up in your silly lil head like ah yes I'd love to be their friend, and all that?

I know you know where I'm going lol but yeah that's how I think of you because I apreciate you and what you do so!! much!! and it's insane? I mean cause I'm just an internet peep (lol) and we dont know each other and that's wild to my silly lil head!!!

Art and love for it can do so much I'm sighing big sighs.

I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you for sharing what you do and the way you do it and and and for being so kind as you do it. And yeah also I'll go to war, bake a cake and even do the laundry for you.

Also sorry I'm being so INTENSE!!! And basically writing a love letter under candle lights lmao I just never do this talking to ppl I think are cool kinda thing lol

I hope you have a great day/night forever and ever. Mwah!

oh, my heart and my soul — you are so correct !! art and the love for it !! how it connects across this great big world, across time-zones and reservations and insecurities and blooms fully in the great volume of our joy !!! you mean so much to me. you really, truly do.

you know, it's not just about our fanfiction, our blorbos and our 2d men and even our little stories; it's about the community and the love it brings ! especially in the wake of my little upset LOL my heart is so full at those of you that came out of the wood works to be there for me — those of you that have ALWAYS been there for me, on my worst days. i'm just an internet peep too ! just a guy on my puter !! and yet here we are ! how far we've come ! the love we have !

this little space is just such a haven of joy for me, and, again, it's not even necessarily about the writing itself or bakugou, especially not about the notes or refrogs or any of that; i say this all the time and it probably sounds childish and silly, but i really view this little corner here, with all of you, as our little space to sit together and hold hands and take turns talking about the things we like, what excites us, what nestles into our hearts and lives there, what pains us — all of it ! i feel so connected to all of you ! and as someone that was shamed and made to be embarrassed of fanfiction when i was younger and growing up — i'm so happy we've all managed to find each other here !

i want this to be a safe space where our creativity can flow together ! i want us all to be included, i want us all to be appreciated, i want us all to be heard, and it means so much to me that yall have done that for me as well ! day in and day out. rain or shine. this is our clubhouse ! and negativity isn't allowed in ! there's no place for it, i won't acknowledge it, i enjoy living my life trying to be as kind as i can, and i want to spread all of it to you, as best i can !

i sound so unhinged !!! LOL !! i am writing furiously in the candle light in my return letter to you, so quickly that ink is getting everywhere and that my handwriting is illegible akhfakhfa but i am always so grateful, to all of you ! and whenever i get such heartfelt messages like this — from those of you that have said before that you don't usually reach out, that this is the first time you're sending messages — i'm so honored that you would trust me with that ! that you deem me worthy of your vulnerability !! i have just so much love in my heart for all of you he he and thank you for being here with me 🥺

and thank you to YOU especially, dear. your message will live inside my lil brain forever. you are my friend. we do know each other, in ways that transcend identity and physical presence ! we are baking the cake together. we are folding the still-warm laundry side by side 🥺

[naphelion]

Hi I'm just. curious where you got kieran's age from. Cause the only source I can find for that is a fanon wiki, as in non-canon. I promise there's no shade in this just a genuine question

hiii no worries, thanks for asking! i love talking.

short answer: I think i probably got the impression he was 36 from googling it and seeing the fanon wiki, and only realizing later that it wasnt canon so the idea stuck with me. its also just sort of funny since kieran gets picked on by sean, whose abt. 19, even though kierans visibly older than him.

long rambling answer that u dont need to read unless youre insane: I don't imagine him as 36 anymore because someone pointed out to me that him hitting on marybeth and being like 16 years older than her would be weird, but it made sense to me before that because 1) his design just changes age so often somehow, like in his official fullbody hes got grey hairs and a decent amount of wrinkles, but in game he looks much younger, so it's possible to imagine him as pretty much any age and 2) he has this one single line in a camp interaction with karen where he says something like, "some of the boys here, they treat me alright". Its probably just a throwaway line but I love this game and it stood out to me so I'll treat it like it means something anyways; kierbo calling the men in camp "boys" (to me) made it feel like hes around the average age for their group, or at least older than sean and lenny. Ofc it could also just be that that was what was normal for the time period, or that kier was used to calling gang members "boys" (ie. dutch's boys, colm's boys), but we really aren't given a lot of hints for his age so I'll take what I can get. and 3) in playing a social call, kieran steals an odriscolls gun and uses it to save arthurs life. based on how kieran shot the odriscoll as soon as he came out the door, he was already close to arthur, all the way down the hill from where the gang left him. since R* actually took the time to have sean make mistakes in his missions to show his age and inexperience, it doesn't feel like they'd have kieran make the decisions to steal a gun and go to where arthur was if they wanted him to appear young, especially since he has so few missions/chances for characterization.

And these are just some of my thoughts on his age based on what little information we have: according to...... familysearch dot org...... lmao..... the avg ages of soldiers in the spanish american war (1898) and the philippine american war (1899-1902) were 16-60, so kieran was probably at least 16 when he joined the military. Based on his conversation with sean, he joined his first gang AFTER leaving the military, but he doesn't describe them apart from them being killed by odriscolls. I think based on what he says about life later, "folks all seem to die", he was probably with that gang long enough to consider them his family (given that he was young and lacking one) or at least enough time for their deaths to make a lasting impression on his worldview, which I'm inferring was about a year at least. Hes also able to describe colm and how he manipulates his men concisely and, by 1899 ILLITERATE outlaw standards, what is pretty flowery language like sean just asked him what was up with colom and OFF THE CUFF kieran goes "like the devil is upon you", jesus. So he was probably with the odriscolls for a pretty long time too, or at least a year I'm guessing. So if he was 16 in the military + spent 1 year in an unknown gang + spent 1 year w/ the odriscolls he was,,,,,, at least 18 at the start of red dead. shocker.

I got carried away and said pretty much every thought I've ever had abt kieran's age (sorry) but hopefully the first part answers your question !!! :o)

[frecklystars]

Hey, you absolutely do not have to respond to this if you don't wanna, I just wanted to tell you about an option that might help with your PTSD. I have severe C-PTSD that debilitates me and has caused me to be severely suicidal for most of my life. Therapy and meds helped a little but were ultimately useless, until on a last ditch effort, I decided to try psilocybin therapy. I cultivated them myself and took a small amount every month, and I went from insanely suicidal to actually having a will to live and happiness again. I still have a lot of issues, but taking a gram of mushrooms once a month has genuinely saved my life. I don't usually recommend it bc nobody reacts the same way, but I just thought I'd tell you so that you could research it. I learned how to grow them via r/unclebens. Like I said, you don't have to acknowledge this, I just figured I'd pass it along. I hope that either way, things get better for you.

Before I say anything else, I want to say that I am so, so, so sorry that you have to deal with c-ptsd as well. My heart goes out to you. Thank you for taking the time out of your day to talk to me, a complete stranger, to offer some kindness and empathy; I appreciate you sending this to me and being so open. I sometimes feel like my own c-ptsd is very "stupid" because I have a long, LONG list of triggers that aren't "normal" like colors, clothes, phrases... I guess that's why they're triggers, they're not supposed to "make sense" but still. Exactly like you said, it debilitates your life. I'm so sorry that you've had to deal with this too. It's terrifying to live with. I've had both ptsd and c-ptsd in my life and... like, they're both incredibly challenging, I'm not downplaying ptsd at all in comparison to c-ptsd -- that being said -- holy fuck c-ptsd is a whole new ballgame. When I went thru the worst of my ptsd years ago I was like "wow nothing could be harder than this" and now the c-ptsd is happening and I'm like "oh I was wrong, this is so much worse actually" at least for me in my personal experiences

Mentally I am holding your hand and I see you and I hear you and I am so proud of you for continuing to live when it has been so fucking hard. I am so glad you're here. Thank you for being here and for continuing to fight when it's so damn hard. Look at you go. You're crushing it. I see you striving.

This is something (well, not the exercise specifically, but uhhhh, the shrooms I guess) that was recommended to me by a support group for my ptsd years and years and years ago; I brought it up with a few doctors but I was strongly advised not to try it bc they said it would make my anxiety/depression far worse. I'm not sure if the answer would change now since I'm older and I'd be asking different doctors lol... this is actually my first time hearing about therapy for it, however. I think that's very interesting. I've always been very nervous around drugs and have never considered smoking anything bc my anxiety around it is so bad, but sometimes the flashbacks are so awful and the nightmares have been HORRIFIC and nonstop for 14 months now, i'm willing to sell my soul to the devil just to get rid of them at this point 😭 i had one of my worst breakdowns ever last night and all i did was accidentally stumble upon (1) single photo of a trigger, and it set me off for hours, getting physically sick and unable to do literally anything except Be Sick On The Floor. but I will definitely think it through more and ask some professionals abt this specific kind of therapy; when I was younger I used to have some slight heart problems so I'd probably have to ask what's the best approach for me first... I'll try to do some further internet research on it too

Only once a month huh... Whether or not if it's something I'd even be able to try, I'm SO glad it helps you, man. I'm so glad you could have some peace and relief that you didn't have before. Thank you for your well wishes, I extend the same to you ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[imissthembutitwasntadisaster]

hi hello may i request your mcr essential tracks? 👉👈 i am Exploring.

OOHHOOHOO OK I love answering this question whenever anyone asks me this question it literally makes my day.

So The Black Parade is low-key for many people The Definitive MCR album, and it is also a concept album, telling the story of a man dying from cancer. For this I would recommend listening to the whole thing through for the narrative, it's about 40-50 minutes I think? But if you don't want to, the most crucial track is Famous Last Words, the last one, also Disenchanted my beloved (almost wasn't put on the album! Personally an offence to me!!!), I Don't Love You, Dead!, House of Wolves, The Sharpest Lives, Mama, and of course welcome to the black parade THE MCR song my beloved. Also Kill All Your Friends is a b-side released separately but it is! So good!!!

Danger Days is their fourth album and also my favourite. Perhaps not as good as Black parade, nevertheless has my whole heart, has a lighter sound, more into the pop of pop punk, even has some dance tracks. Listen to Summertime song of my heart favourite song ever written, the only hope for me is you BELOVED, scarecrow is an underrated masterpiece by which I mean it makes me feel Emotions, Planetary Go! I love!!! And kids from yesterday makes me cry. Danger Days is also a concept album, about a post-nuclear apocalypse California, but the narrative is more in a few spoken tracks and the music videos than in the songs themselves so it's a bit looser.

Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge is their second album, very much more on the punk side of pop punk, angrier, faster, literally iconic, also technically a concept album? But not as much. Helena is often considered one of the best MCR songs ever, give em hell kid is one of my personal favourites, Cemetery Drive is also excellent, Desert Song is another B-side but listen listen it's SO GOOD, thank you for the venom is also so good, and of course! Who can forget I'm Not Ok!!! The only song to ever matter actually!

Bullets, the first album, is definitely rougher, younger, perhaps worse, than the others, it took me some time to love it but it is actually worth trying if you like the others. Skylines and Turnstiles was the first song ever written for the band after Gerard Way witnessed 9/11 and decided to try to save people through music (the first line of the first song of the band is "you're not in this alone" and I'm so normal about that fact but also you will hear this theme constantly throughout - they're trying to save people). It's also a good song. Our Lady of Sorrows! Vampires Will Never Hurt You! Headfirst for Halos! All good songs!

(btw there are so many things I could content warn you for that I won't, instead just let me know if there's something you don't want to hear and I'll tell you which to avoid).

Conventional Weapons was written after Black Parade, meant to be an album, was scrapped, and then released after Danger Days as a series of singles. Paid dust. Iconic. Listen to Make Room, Surrender the Night, BOY DIVISION PLEASE, and The Light Behind Your Eyes which makes me cry so so so much.

Fake your death was the last song released before the band break-up, it's an explanation of sorts, and it's amazing actually. Foundations of Decay is the new single which also is very long and makes me insane.

So that's it! If you want to poke around just pick the first few I said for each album to get a sense of the vibe!!! I am Firmly Convinced everyone could have at least one MCR song they like because they have The Range so just throw the songs at the wall like spaghetti until one sticks I guess. Have fun and let me know if you listen to them and if you like them and sorry for going on so long.

[ottisbuns]

uhhhh toh, raeda, and thennnnnn caleb

Ok wow this was a lot and ended up taking a hot minute, but anyways

001 | The Owl House:

Favorite character: Luz Noceda, I am a basic "Main Character Enjoyer" bitch like that

Least Favorite character: This is hard because all of the characters are so good in their intended role, but if I had to pick the one that I dislike the most as like, a person? Tibbles. The only thing worse than a Genocidal Maniac Tyrant is a capitalist.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Help me I have too many ships I like. I am a serial multi/poly crackshipper. Saying Lumity and Raeda feel like cheating, so I will be giving my top five crackships/rarepairs, in no particular order. Camilraedarius, Skara/Luz, Emira/Viney, Skara/Viney and Skara/Boscha.

Character I find most attractive: Probably Emira, for reasons that will become evident soon.

Character I would marry: Oh this is a tough one... most characters are either significantly older or significantly younger than me so picking one feels weird... Hooty will treat me right, I just know it.

Character I would be best friends with: Luz. We could bond over being neurodivergent and enjoying fanfiction and shipping.

a random thought: Emira's hair gives me gender envy

An unpopular opinion: The entire show should be replaced with Lumity screentime Honestly my opinions are pretty basic, and I'm also really bad at knowing what opinions are unpopular, but the one opinion I could see getting me crucified is that I don't have that strong an opinion on Huntlow? I see its value as a ship, but I don't have strong personal feelings on it.

My Canon OTP: LUMITY. They're the whole reason I even got into this show.

My Non-canon OTP OT5: Ok, listen, hear me out here because I'm about to sound completely insane, but Luz/Amity/Willow/Skara/Boscha. I realize this doesn't make me seem less insane but I had to get it off my chest. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Most Badass Character: Amity, her fight scenes are amazing.

Most Epic Villain: Kikimora Belos told her to go find a hole to die in, and she did. Truly the most henchperson of all time.

Pairing I am not a fan of: Picking from actually semi-prevalent ships, probably Boschlow? I'll still devour fanfiction about it given the option, but especially in canon I don't think it works.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): The Writers? None. Disney by shortening the show? The Covenheads.

Favourite Friendship: Luz and Hunter, though they're more like siblings so does it still count?

Character I most identify with: S3 Luz

Character I wish I could be: EMIRA GIVE ME YOUR HAIR I WANT IT

002 | Raeda:

When I started shipping them: I have very few memories of my early time in the fandom, which was quite late, so basically for as long as I can remember

My thoughts: That one screenshot of Raine bridal carrying Eda with That Expression™... yeah...

What makes me happy about them: How they were so in sync even as kids and stuck together for so long until...

What makes me sad about them: ...they were torn apart by the curse.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: I know a lot of them were written before we even knew Raine existed, but Camileda fanfiction where Raine isn't acknowledged still bothers me.

Things I look for in fanfic: Established Raeda is always fun in AUs, bonus points if it's Camilraeda and they are all raising Luz, Vee and King.

My wishlist: NOW KISS

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Frequently bought together DO NOT SEPARATE! but I guess if I have to then Camila for Eda and I guess I could see Darius for Raine?

My happily ever after for them: They get married and help take care of Luz and Hunter with Camila.

003 | Caleb:

How I feel about this character: He wife guyed too close to the sun and it's still haunting the narrative. Iconic.

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: His wife Evelyn, duh.

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: His connection to Hunter, if you can call that a relationship.

My unpopular opinion about this character: I'm not super interested in like a flashback to his time in Connecticut to be honest, I'd enjoy seeing more of his time and relationship with Evelyn, but his time in Gravesfield isn't that compelling to me

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: One thing I think could have some really neat potential is if he somehow could have a heart-to-heart with Hunter. I think that could be fascinating.

Favorite friendship for this character: I mean, there aren't exactly a lot of options but I think he and Luz could be great friends.

My crossover ship: Caleb X Not Dying

[zanef0rd]

Mercenary Enrollment x Male OC

Bzzt~!

Bzzt~!

*Click!*

' Hello?'

' Son. I'm on my way back. Can you ready a first aid kit for me?'

' ... You got hurt?'

' ... Yeah.'

' The All Mighty, Cha Dusik, the most renowned person in the underworld, got hurt?'

' Can you just go ahead and do what request you to?'

' Old man, you, of all people, got hurt?! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! How?!!'

' And I have a son who doesn't get worried that his dad got hurt.'

' Hehehehe. I mean, you asked for it when you choose that kind of work.'

' Touché.'

' Anyways, you got the job done? You suddenly got out of the store when we were shopping.'

'... Sorry about that.'

' No worries. I understand that you can't really bail on it when it's from that family, right?'

' Yeah... It's annoying.'

' I agree. What did they ask you to do?'

' Injure some highschool kid.'

' Damn... How is 'that' a request? How's the kid tho?'

'...'

' Dad, did you kill him or something?'

' He's unscathed...'

'...'

'...'

' Pfft-! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!'

'...'

' You got- You got hurt by a highschooler?! HAHAHAHA!!! I can't breath!!!'

' Shut up! He was skilled, okay?!'

' Pfft-! I wonder if he goes to the same school as I am. So, how does it feel to have the second kid to beat you up?'

' You're having too much fun on this topic.'

' Indeed, I am. But! It is justified when a guy like you got his ass beaten! HAHAHA!!!'

' Why do I have a son like you...'

' Oh, but I didn't choose to be born, you know? You decided to have a 419.'

' ... You should be grateful that I decided to take care of you.'

' I know. Why do you think we can talk like this to each other at this point of time? Most teens didn't even communicate with their parents anymore. But my biological mother was crazy, huh? I'm glad you cut ties with her.'

' Yeah, the best decision in my life.'

' I know, right?'

'... Thanks for coming into my life, Dae-il. I'm proud to be your dad.'

' You can say that to my face, you know?'

' You know what, I take it back.'

' Ehehehe, I'm joking! But yeah, I'm thankful that you're my dad. Who knows what would happen to me if you didn't save me, dad.'

' Yeah. I'll be home in a few minutes. See you later.'

' Yeah. Love you, dad.'

' Love you too, son.'

*Beep!*

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

My old man has gone senile. That's all I can say. I mean, he definitely not getting younger, but he never forgets his phone when he goes out before. Guess I'll have to stop by at his 'Devil's Cave' today...

I hate that place... It reeks of booze and I genuinely despise it at the bottom of my heart. I can't stand all of the smoke the cigs are releasing and it always bring me headaches after. God... Why did he have to left his phone today?!

I got in my black jumpsuit, wrapping nicely around my quite chiseled and tall figure. I put on my mask and my black cap before putting my phone and his phone in different pockets. Taking the house key, I make my way towards the bar owned by my dad.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

' Sigh~ it's gonna be a hassle from now on.'

' Boss.'

' What?'

' Um... That kid is here.'

' What are you saying?'

The assistant move to make way for the teens that had arrived at the bar. Cha Dusik stared for a while at the silver headed boy before putting out his cigarette at the ashtray, sighing.

' Why are you here?'

' I need information.'

' Wow... That's why you suddenly came here to say...?'

' The granddaughter of SW Group's CEO has been kidnapped.'

Cha Dusik stunned for a while before waving his hand at the bearer of the hazel orbs, denying any involvement in the crime stated by the highschooler.

' You would have to be insane to mess with SW.'

' Do you have anyone in mind who would?'

' Why should I tell you that? Do you have any idea what a mess you got me in...?'

' My little sister was kidnapped too.'

Cha Dusik paused for a while before sighing and muttered to himself. Just as he was about to say something, he was interrupted by a gleeful shout from a new guest.

' Yo! Old man! You forgot your phone! I can't just call you to give it back, so I came here.' said the teen in a black jumpsuit as he make his way towards them. Taking out a phone from his pocket, he throw it towards the scarred face. Cha Dusik caught it with a tick mark on his face. Some of them questions his identity because of his lax mannerism towards the respectable figure of the underworld.

' Ugh... It reeks! Anyways, who're these guys? They don't seem to be working here.'

' Shut up, Dae-il! I'm trying to talk here!' Cha Dusik snapped.

' Hey, I've been so nice as to bring your phone for you since you're so forgetful today! And you didn't even answer my question!!!'

' Whatever!' Cha Dusik said, signalling to his right-hand man to take him away, knowing that he knows of that brat's attitude.

Getting dragged by the quite chubby guy, he was in pure shock as he looked at his old man before letting out strings of profanities as the door shuts.

' ... Who was that?'

' ... My son.' Albeit reluctantly, Cha Dusik replied to the teen in front of him.

' Anyways, as I was saying, I've heard reports of people who aren't fluent in Korean asking my men for a warehouse. They also asked for a large number of cars and some of my men. They offered a lot of money for some other things, but I refused. That kind of work gets pretty iffy. I heard that a different group took them up on their offer, and that they're based in Incheon. I don't know the specifics.'

' Thank you.'

' Hey. Highschooler.' Cha Dusik called out just as the teen was about to turn back. He throw his phone at the kid.

' Put your phone number in there.'

The silverette look at Cha Dusik skeptically before the latter explained his actions with annoyance in his tone. Realizing that it was only to help him out, he type in his number.

' Does the motorcycle at the entrance belong to you?' the teen suddenly asked.

' What?'

In the end, he lets him borrow it and the two teens head out. The assistant got in and walk towards his boss.

' You good, boss?'

' Yeah... Somewhat. Where's Dae-il?'

' He's right behi- Oh shit! He's gone!!!'

Cha Dusik turn towards him, seeing the black cap on him. He doesn't seem to realize it yet but Dusik knew what it meant when his son left his cap behind.

'I'll be back'

Cha Dusik immediately dialled his sneaky son's number in worry...

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Just as Sukjoo followed the motorcycle in front of him with the car, suddenly a foreign voice spoke up.

' You know, you're quite vulnerable.'

The car swerved a little before getting back on the road as the same voice let out a shout of surprise.

' WHOAA!! Calm down! I'm not here to hurt you or anything!!!' the voice said from the back seat. Sukjoo glance at the rearview mirror to look at the perpetrator who caused to lose control of the steering wheel.

' Why are you here?!!' he shouted as his eyes land back at the black motorbike. He recognized the black jumpsuit that he had seen earlier when he made his entrance at the bar.

Cha Dusik's son.

' Well, I'm kinda bored and I think I can help you guys out. Plus, who doesn't want to beat the shit out of the kidnappers once in their lifetime?'

' You shouldn't be here. It's dangerous.'

' As if being his son is not dangerous enough. I have people who I don't even know trying to get my head off of my body. How do you think I'm still alive?' Pulling down his mask, the hitchhiker reasoned with the bodyguard.

' . . . '

' By the way, I'll have you know that even my dad can't beat me. So, can I help?'

' ... Suit yourself.'

' Yes!!!' The emerald orbs lights up as he punches the air in excitement. ' So, what's your name?'

' Why do you want to know?'

' I mean, if the need arises that I need to warn you or something, won't it be hard if I don't know your name?'

' ... Go Sukjoo.'

' Cool. I'm Cha Dae-il. Call me Dae-il.'

Bzzt~!

Bzzt~!

' Ah, that's my phone.' Dae-il said, pulling out his smartphone from one of his pocket. ' It's dad.'

*Click!*

' DAE-IL!!! WHERE ARE YOU?!!'

' Ehehehehehe. Sorry, dad! I'll be home in a few minutes. Bye!'

' YOU PIECE OF SHI-!!!'

*Beep!*

' And~ Shut down. Now, no more noise.'

' . . . '

' Anyways, who's the other guy?'

' Yu Ijin. My classmate.'

' How many got abducted?'

' Two girls. One of them is the granddaughter of SW Group's CEO and the other is Ijin's sister.'

' Noted. That's all I need to know. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll take a quick nap.'

' Sure, I won't wake you up later.'

' That's fine.'

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The car came to a halt as Sukjoo got out of the car. The hitchhiker followed suit as they strike a conversation. Yu Ijin look at the foreign face with a question mark on his head. Sukjoo glanced towards the direction where Ijin's stare fall at.

' Ah, he wanted to tag along.'

' Cha Dae-il. Just call me Dae-il.' the teen offered a handshake as he introduced himself. The silverette briefly shake it.

' Looks like there was some truth to your information. According to agents, the car in the surveillance camera was heading this way.'

' Of course it's the truth! Why would my dad lie?'

Ijin started to make his way deeper into the base, treading carefully not to alert the perpetrators. Sukjoo was alarmed, maybe more than he was before?

' Hold it. You should wait for reinforcements here. The SW agents will come soon.'

' I told you Dayun has no time to spare.' Ijin reminded.

' Yeah. And in a case of a kidnapping, time is of essence, my guy.' Dae-il chimed in, patting Sukjoo's back before making a beeline towards the silverette.

Sukjoo just stayed silent.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Somehow, everything has been smooth sailing and they easily knock out the people patrolling the area. And most of them are taken out silently by the two monsters accompanying Sukjoo. He looked at them, sweated at their ability to make people unconscious swiftly, having around 9 people from each of them.

On the other hand, Sukjoo who have been told by others how he have talent in this, only managed to take down around 4. He wondered, for Dae-il, it was possible for him to manage such feat because of his identity. But Ijin only transferred a few days ago and his history is a mystery.

He turns his face towards the silverette.

' Yu Ijin, who are you really?' he asked.

' I'm your classmate.' the latter replied, not giving out any more information about his past...

°~Thanks for reading~°

[theoutcastedartist]

How are you? I hope you are well.

Thank you. I know you probably meant to send this as a light thing, but unfortunately you caught me at a very off time

Warning for VENT post.

Ngl I'm probably gonna come off as super whiny and annoying so if you don't wanna see that, just ignore this. I really just can't fucking take it anymore. I'll probably delete this in the morning when the shame of my actions come to haunt me right before work. Haha. I'm still working on my normal art stuff, if you're wondering.

Technically thing have been good for me, I got my first STABLE job and it's working with dogs! And my manager is impressed with my serious work ethic

haha my overwhelming need to Not-Be-A-Disappointment-And-Prove-I-Am-More-Than-My-Deformities-Despite-Having-Them-Recitfied-With-Surgery-Meaning-Theyre-Not-Even-Noticable-And-Weird-"Girl"-Behavior-To-My-Own-Detriment comes in handy even after high school ... my knees... my ankles... they do not love me...

But yeah, as far as things are going, technically they are going well!

But honestly, I just want to curl up in a hole and cry. Not that I will anytime soon, given how I've learned at this point that me expressing genuine emotion that is not "Chill/Go with the Flow" is such a Weird Thing for everyone around me... I guess I'm still processing that I am An Actual Adult(tm) now and that I'm just too tired and scared of what the future will be... and just how lost I feel about where I even WANT to go in my life.

Especially when I've realized how much of my childhood was spent me being forced to act like an adult because of some of the people and circumstances surrounding my life, so I couldn't really properly, I guess, enjoy it???? There were so many good opportunities I missed, including two years of FREE COLLEGE because of a series of incidents with one of my parents... and medical neglect of my younger sibling's ATV accident injury, which turned into a WHOLE other mess I had to miss almost 2 weeks of school for... right before going online for COVID-19 too... sigh.

Idk I just wish I could have done more with the time I had before graduating high school like 5 months ago. I was top of my class, but now it just feels like I'm letting everyone who ever believed in me for whatever reason down for not immediately going to college.

And like I KNOW it doesn't matter what others think I should or shouldn't do in regards to taking a break from school or just my own life in general, but it still doesn't make it any easier for me mentally I guess. I just feel guilty and awful and like I'm back in elementary school again, except it's with people who now have insanely high expectations of me because I've always "Beaten the Odds Againt Me", "The Will Power to Go Far in Life" or whatever of that sort of bs rather than "Born Deformed, is Weird, and Most Likely Won't Make it Far in Life" kind of expectation.

It just feels like one thing after another and I'm just... so tired of it. I'm tired of forcing myself to spin just shit awful situations as a positive thing for everyone else's comfort (oh a "Learning Experience" or "Now I'm More Prepared for the Future" and "This Would be Good for a College Application" lmaoo)

Especially with all the recent stuff I've realized, like how my parents treat my siblings and I is probably some form of abuse (something I did not want to confront for years) and just how fucking traumatized I am (haha no wonder my fav is Sad Little White Boy from TOH).

And literally yesterday, my mom's car, who I rely on as transport to and from work, broke down when she had gone to take my siblings to the dermatologist to get a mole checked out (turns out it was completely fine and normal, as I 100% expected).

So while I was at work, my younger siblings were stranded with our god awful mother at god knows where since around 10 am, and couldn't be picked up until my brother called my geometry teacher from MY freshman year of high school (and his best friend's mom) to go pick them up, and then come pick me up after my shift ended, which I had no clue about until I was walking out of the door of my workplace and saw them waiting for me, I was fully expecting to walk home that afternoon in my wet and nasty scrubs, reeking like an actual doghouse (cause I work with the doggos as my job), under direct heavy sunlight, and 90 degree heat. So I at least avoided walking then. Today I was lucky enough to have my dad be my transport, and tomorrow morning he can drop me off an hour before my shift starts. Though I'm worried for tomorrow after work and I'm worried about what the weather might be like (given there's a hurricane/tropical storm coming and all that...) and if it'll be safe for me to even walk home.

I don't know anyone at work well enough to give me a ride, no matter how many times my dad tells me to "just ask". The guilt of being any sort of burden to anyone will always be heavier to me than any consequences as a result of not asking or accepting any kind of help. Like I'd rather walk three hours to get home in the pouring rain and risk getting hit by some idiot driver while crossing the street, than ask someone to drop me off on the way when my house is like literally 5 minutes away by car.

It's so stupid I don't even understand why I'm like this and thinking about it makes me wanna cry, but I CANT cry because it's inconvenient for everyone else and I just generally S U CK at processing my own emotions and its a complete waste of time to try and do so and my stupid intrusive thoughts won't leave me the fuck alone when I'm in the middle of doing BASIC ASS CHORES.

And I just fucking resent my parents so much for all the shit they put me through over the years, making me be the "voice of reason" between any arguments between them. They willingly decide to have their fights in front of me and then try to egg me into joining them. Like literally over the period of time where I was stuck at home looking for work online, I would just be eating my lunch at the table in the emptiness of the house and the minute the two of them happen to be under the same roof, they decide to bitch at each other RIGHT IN FRONT OF WHERE I AM EATING.

There is a WHOLE ASS HOUSE for you two to bitch at each other and yet you do it RIGHT. I FRONT. OF. ME. while I'm eating noodles too... asshole.

Hell, my mom is literally the reason my siblings and I ended up in the foster care system for TWO. FUCKING. YEARS. They almost separated me from one of my siblings because of his autism and ADHD (and you know how fuck awful the system is to older kids who are deemed to be "problematic") combined with my "low self-esteem" and Cleft Lip nonsense going on at the time too. I don't even want to think what would have happened had I not begged my fosterdad for two weeks straight to take in my other sibling too. It's super rare for fosterhomes to take in sibling pairs, much less a Trio like my brothers and I.

Nevermind how shitty all the "court ordered" therapists I've ever had are. Literally one of them would belittle me and my problems, acted like I was too stupid to talked to like a normal person. She was suppose to help me with my "low self esteem" with these stupid packets and instead turned it into a trigger for me like 5 years later lmaoooo

Literally happened during my AP psych class, my teacher brought up "low self-esteem" and "fostercare" in the same sentence (and some kid made a Shazam joke I think???) and I immediately had a silent panic attack at my desk with my head down.

God and on top of being a foster kid, my 5th grade teacher just fucking had to OUT ME as one to the entire class. A foster kid to gay parents, you can imagine how that school year went.

Like how goddamn petty as an adult do you have to be to repeatedly target a 5th grader??? No because that shit stressed me out so much at the time on top of everything else, on top of being bullied by the other girls, the teacher even fat shaming me a couple times (when at the time I was VERY unnaturally thin, no matter how much I tried to gain weight.) I legit started ripping out chunks of my hair from my scalp during class and peeling the skin off my fingers with my teeth to the point of bleeding as a very fucking up coping mechanism that "soothed" me. The only reason any kind of school intervention was made because the assistant principal happened to do a classroom observation on my teacher on a particularly bad day for me where the teacher made me sit all the way at the front of the class and the environment of the class happened to be very overwhelming to my brain too. I remember it so vividly too it felt like this fuck awful metallic buzzing noise before everything became totally silent for a good 10 minutes.

I just hope and pray to whatever god or being of higher power out there that I NEVER have to hear that noise ever again. It was just so bad, whatever it was...

I literally still have a couple hidden bald patches than haven't recovered since like the rest of my hair and I still chew at the skin of my fingers at the first instance of me being stressed. They're always so sore...

I'm just so fucking tired. Of everything. I just wanna skip to the part of my life where I'm not walking on eggshells every waking moment of my life. I just wanna have my own space cuddled up on a rainy day with a pet. I wanna be able to cry freely and just not have to worry for once. I can't even remember a time where I was ever TRULY happy, even as far back as elementary school there wasn't a moment where I didn't want to dissappear.

I just want to be held while I cry and be told that everything will be okay, but that's not going to happen so there's no point in hoping for that to ever happen.

ANYWHO I HAVE A ZOOM MEETING FOR WORK IN LIKE 30 MINUTES I AM NOT OKAY :D