#zack i love you. ill save you

[lesbianzackfair]

plagued with thoughts

[icycoldninja]

*kicks down ask box* WELL WELL WELL, IT APPEARS WE HAVE TOO MUCH HAPPINESS HERE O’ QUEEN OF ANGST~! Time to absolutely fix this >:3

Ehem! My request be but the simplest kind: Rough Angst Headcanons that you wanted to talk about or can see being a thing for your fave character~ I initially wanted to request something that’s on the much darker and heavier side of life but… well come back to that one a lil later~

As always, love ya work :3c

Thank you 💜💜💜 thing is I have so many favorite characters it's impossible to choose. Ah well, most of them have been done anyway. Let's go with Genesis.

Angsty Genesis headcannons

-Genesis is probably the loneliest character in the game, always wanting to talk about his interests, but no one wants to hear it.

-His "friends" find him annoying, and while he pretends he doesn't know to try and save their dying relationship, Genesis is painfully aware of this. They don't like him anymore; can they even be called friends now?

-Things only get worse when his degradation begins as in addition to mental pain, Genesis is filled with physical pain.

-His whole body burns like it's on fire as each individual cell disintegrates before his eyes. It's a very painful way to go.

-He also has a constant fever and incurable fatigue that only seems to get worse the more he sleeps. He's miserable, constantly hungry, and pretty much running on fumes.

-Sometimes he does things he has no control over, such as killing his parents. He didn't want to do that, it was like his body moved on its own.

-Poor guy just wants to return to normal, but fate just doesn't want that to happen.

-All around him, his friends either die or turn on him--not that he's been of any help. He egged Sephiroth along, probably to get revenge for not paying him any mind when he wanted to talk about LOVELESS in the past--or maybe that was just his body functioning without him.

-He really does miss his parents. And Angeal. And Sephiroth. And Zack. Oh God. What has he done?

-He's not really evil, just misguided, sick, and tired; or perhaps all that stuff turned him evil. He doesn't know, he's too ill to know, so neither will we.

-His self centered nature probably stems from childhood neglect. His parents were rather wealthy, and the rich tend to forget their families, so this isn't too odd of an assumption.

-He has self esteem issues stemming from aforementioned childhood neglect as well as never being recognized for his efforts during the war. He worked hard too, why should Sephiroth have all the fame?

-All he really wants is to be loved, appreciated, and treated like an actual person, not some mindless zombie working for Shinra who is always seen as an irritating person that everyone seems to hate.

[altocat]

‘Ello!! Hope it’s been a lovely weekend!! 💕

I don’t know if I’ve ever asked you this before but shshhshshshhs Can we get some Zack & Seph bonding over Angeal angst/comfort plz?? :3ccc

Yesssssssss of course !

Sephiroth and Zack don't really talk much after the incident in Modeoheim. There's a lot of bitter feelings there. Zack blames Sephiroth for making him have to deal with that heartache. It should have been Sephiroth, not him. Sephiroth could have stopped it. It's not fair! Angeal would still be alive!

Sephiroth is aware of Zack's ill feelings, mostly mourning quietly alone, his nightmares getting worse than ever, barely eating or sleeping. Most of the time, he's mindlessly performing tasks thanks to the cocktail of drugs Hojo is pumping into him.

Despite this, thanks to the dwindling ranks in SOLDIER, both are assigned a mission together investigating some rogue rebel activity in the mountains. It's cold and rainy and miserable. And Sephiroth and Zack can't even bear to look at each other.

They tail the rebels all the way to the peaks, cornering them on the fragile remains of a bridge, now halfway frozen over from the chill.

Zack moodily thinks that now's the part where Sephiroth coldly murders everyone. That's what soldiers do, right? That's what HE had to do to Angeal. Just mindless killing. Callous slaying of anyone who doesn't fit. Ruining lives. Just like Angeal.

Zack isn't paying attention, too agitated to notice the enemy creeping up from behind. He has mere seconds to react before the gunshot rings out, followed by the frantic rush of air as Sephiroth shoves him out of the way to take the hit.

He watched in horror as Sephiroth falls nearly twenty feet, crashing hard into a jutting snowy cliff side below.

He's an absolute mess when the helicopter comes in to retrieve them, Sephiroth's battered body being taken away to Medical the second they land.

Zack's a shaking, helpless wreck, reliving Angeal's death over and over. Oh gods it's happening again. And it's all his fault. And now he's going to lose someone else too. And he was so cold to Seph beforehand. He blamed him for everything when really it was NO ONE'S fault. And now Sephiroth is going to die and he's going to have to bury another friend and and and...

Days pass. Zack endures sleepless nights letting his inner demons eat at him. He is a trembling mess by the time he's finally able to step out onto the main SOLDIER floor again, freezing at the sight of Sephiroth standing near the doorway, alive and well, his arm carefully wrapped up in a sling.

"You're... you're okay."

"Mm? Oh. Yes. It was a bad fall. But my healing capabilities proved to be amply useful for such an occasion. I received clearance this morning to return to my duties, though I've been instructed not to strain myself."

Zack miserably hangs his head, relief and guilt intermingling in his belly, his face hot, eyes red and watery.

"Listen, Sephiroth? I... about earlier..."

Sephiroth tilts his head, seemingly confused, watching as the young First dithers and balks.

"I...you saved me."

"Think nothing of it. It was instinct. A team leader's responsibility is to protect his men."

"I thought you'd died. I mean...gods, this is such a mess. I was so mad at you. I shouldn't have been. But I was. I blamed you for Angeal when I should've just talked it out. I just let it get to me. And... and... and you still..."

He forces himself not to cry, not even when Sephiroth's free hand gently, if not awkwardly, reaches over to pat his shoulder.

"...I was not keen on losing you as well."

And the tears are coming now, his efforts fruitless. He feels like a child, pawing at his eyes, shaky laugh as he shakes his head. "G-guess we have that feeling in common, huh?" He just wishes he understood it sooner.

He spends the rest of the afternoon at Sephiroth's side, holding his tablet up for him to make it easier for him to write. They don't speak much. But it feels different this time, awkward smiles exchanged, a kind of fragile reluctance when it's finally time to part ways for the evening.

But afterwards, Zack makes it mandatory to keep in contact at all times, sending Sephiroth text reminders so they can meet up to unwind together after a long hard day.

This goes on for a long while, an unspoken trust building, both parties emotionally relying on each other without ever saying a word. A pure bond; burgeoning, unexpected, but genuine. Real.

Until Nibelheim.

[holly-fixation]

Sharing my first FFVII experiences for fun: (spoilers for a 25 year old game below)

-I have no idea when or how I learned who Sephiroth was. I just knew "oh yeah that's Cloud Strife and Sephiroth from Final Fantasy VII". "Cloud has a big sword called the buster sword. Sephiroth has a big katana". Literally Cloud got into Smash and I'm like "Oh cool it's Cloud" But I knew NOTHING

-let me be clear, I haven't played a kingdom hearts game either. WHY I knew them both, I do not know.

-my brother introduced me to to One Winged Angel about a year after Cloud got onto smash. And I fell in love immediately. With the song. Yes, the song. He said "hey you should learn how to play this on piano". It took me 2 years to learn but that's besides the point. He showed me the Advent Children fight and I thought it was cool and all but it was really the SONG that got me.

-soon after he showed me Aerith's death. Why? There's this mash up of Spongebob's "stepping on the beach" and OWA and it WORKED?? But in the video they photoshop spongebob's face on Sephiroth when he kills Aerith. Then he kinda had no choice but to show me the actual scene (again, I had no context)

-So my brother bought me VII after he played it under the condition that I do not look anything up. No online walk through or anything, He was my only guide. He didn't want me spoiling myself with anything else that happened in the game, which was fair. Because he purchased VII for me, I listened. He was my only source of help.

-This lead to a few problems. Recruiting Yuffie without a guide is just AWFUL. I got lost and confused so many times. I never learned how to breed chocobos. I never got Knights of the Round. I didn't understand that stronger summons were just summons you got later, not a higher level materia. I didn't know about the single save point you can set in the Northern cave.

-Most inportantly: I never met Vincent.

-I had no idea how good of a healer Aerith was, so losing her abilities hurt. Yes her death still made me sad even though I knew it was coming. Ill argue it hurt the same amount because I watched every piece fall into place up to her death knowing what was at the end of the tunnel. But after it, I was so mad I had no good healers, I made Cloud my healer so I'd never lose them again.

-Two words: Black Materia. God I was not ready.

-Because I played it on a modern console, it had cheats like max health + limit breaks at all times, turning off random encounters, and triple speed. I did use triple speed a lot for farming sessions. And Though I made it through most of the game without the (basically) god mode, I did use them for the two robots in the elevator of Shinra Tower.

-I also used them through the entire Northern Crater because I didn't think the game was over yet. The third disk just started, I went straight down into the crater, and I didn't see a single save point. This couldn't be the end of the game, right?

-I literally did not acknowledge this was truly the end of the game until One Winged Angel began. I turned off cheats immediately and genuinely tried with what might possibly be the worst materia set up possible.

-I used Ramuh against Sephiroth. RAMUH. The man was doing so little damage it was pissing me off because "This materia is maxed out! Why isnt it doing more damage??"

-So after probably 10 Supernovas and at least 45 minutes, I turned cheats back on. I did not care anymore. NONE of my characters/materia were strong enough for this and I'd been playing for probably 4-5 hours straight at this point.

-anyway I had already seen and not understood any thing that happened in Advent children, so once I finished the game, I watched the movie again a few days later.

-Skip a few years and now we're here.

-oh I also never got that scene with Zack in the bottom of Shinra Manor.

-use a spoiler free strategy guide, kids.

[lieahsblog]

I’m writing this post today because i believe that there are people out there, kind people, like my friend Mohammed, who help people. open up their homes to people.

Let me begin by saying this: the last four months, i have seen videos and pictures from gaza i will never be able to unsee. ever. every video and picture i’ve seen from a palestinian in gaza, i cant help but notice the heartbreak, the bone-deep exhaustion in their eyes. They’ve been locked in with their killers, and no one has made any move to free them from this perpetual hell. They have been condemned. can you imagine being in their position? do you ever look up at the ceiling of a room and wonder, how does something like this collapse on top of a human body? how does something like this collapse on top of a child’s body? a baby’s body? there is torture of human bodies in gaza. from collapsed buildings, to bullets ripping flesh, to skin engulfed by burns, to stomachs eating themselves from starvation.

Every image coming out of gaza, every story, seems to be worst than the last. the levels and the forth of cruelty on display right now… i’ve never seen anything like this in my whole life. the fact this is all being streamed onto our phones. palestinians are clinging onto any way to save their loved ones, their families.

Among those families is my friend Mohammed. There is one thing i’ve come to know about him in the short time i’ve known him: he is incredibly kind. When people in the north of gaza were forced to evacuate by the occupation, they had no shelter. Mohammed opened up his home, in the middle of everything, to four different families from the north. He himself has been forced to evacuate as well, and is no longer in his home. In this freezing weather, people in gaza have only a tent to protect them from the cold. His beloved parents have recently been displaced to a tent: I don’t think we can imagine the pain of seeing your loved ones in that condition and not being able to help them.

People in gaza had a life before this current genocide. For Mohammed, this involved his new company that he recently launched. the building of his company is in pieces now. He has a beautiful wife, and two beautiful children. he loves them very much, and they love him too.

Amongst the heartbreak, the violence, the cruelty, palestinians in gaza have constantly helped each other in any way they could. There is man named Ehab, who i met on twitter. His team’s account @GazaDirectAid on twitter, and his account is @rida_ehab on twitter. Being a displaced person himself, he has been working tirelessly throughout these past four months collecting donations to provide food, shelter material, sanitary products, diapers. you name it, he’s provided it. He was recently ill with a virus, and on the telegram channel where his team posts updates, they translated his messages and the first thing he wanted to was hand out more relieved to the children in his displaced community, whilst being actively ill with covid like symptoms.

Time and time again, palestinians in gaza have shown everyone the meaning of humanity, though they themselves have been denied it. In gaza, people who have nothing give everything. Palestinians in gaza have found that they can only rely on each other. Let’s show them that they can rely on us, too.

Mohammed has a campaign to raise funds for evacuation. Just 300 people donating $88 will be all that it takes for Mohammed’s donation goal to be reached. 300 people giving $88 to his campaign will be all that it takes to save a palestinian family who has been abandoned by the rest of the world for four months. I know that there are more than 300 people who are disgusted with the genocide gaza is being subjected to. I know that there are more than 300 people who want to help palestinians wherever they can. I know that this can be accomplished very quickly, because time is not a luxury gaza has right now.

I’m writing this post today because i believe that there are people out there, kind people, like my friend Mohammed, who help people. open up their homes to people. I’m writing this post today because i believe that 300 of these people will see my post, and donate $88 to my friend mohammed, the kind man.

@reesepiece2

@humanvoicebox

[withgreatpowercomesmyfuckingdick]

DUDE YOUR LATEST CHAPTER HAS ME IN SO MANY TEARS OMFG the post meteor fall horrors??!? Disturbed Vincent??! Grieving Tifa?!? ZACK NOT KNOWING THE FULL CONTEXT OF CLOUDS TIME TRAVEL AND HOW HEARTBREAKING IT IS *clears throat* excuse me while I march into the ocean and raise the sea level with my tears alone. I'm glad Zack finally got his dating situation off his chest (we knew Cloud was poly af but he didn't, poor guy!) and properly asked him out (so fuckinh precious jfc) all while distracting Cloud from shattering into a million pieces right before an extremely dangerous mission where he has to save Kenny while not enhanced and having no future knowledge of this situation (WHILE GRIEVING HIS ENTIRE LOST LIFE IM NOT OVER THIS ILL NEVER BE OVER THIS AND NEITHER WILL CLOUD 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭) Fantastic job as always! I love your writing and I'll never emotionally recover <3

HEY FROGS THANKS FOR THE LONG ASK LMAO

Yeah idk something came over me writing this chapter and I was like “hm I need filler” and the writer brain went “ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST”

I literally have Cloud so overloaded bro is hanging on by the skin of his teeth rn. It will get better!…it’ll just be a a while XD

But so so glad you enjoyed! Careful while you go raise the sea level, I can’t give you the next chapter if you drown lololol

[terraxcloud]

Life

I'm sorry if I haven't been around/available/"there". This is probably the best time to actually "stay", but...at least I'm still around after so long. Outside of life and its ills, I was wondering about drawing an extremely dumb overly exaggerated comic starring Sherlotta getting Isekai'ed to the Desert Southwest. I just wanted to do it to make fun of Forspoken for fun. Don't think much of it right now.

You already know what I'm going to say about the FF7 Rebirth theme (spoiler) song...it's about Terra Branford and nobody will believe that, blah, blah, blah.

"No Promises to Keep" is a reference to the FF6 Opera's:

"Must I forget you? Our solemn promise? Will autumn take the place of spring? What shall I do? I'm lost without you. Speak to me once more!"

Why is Aerith singing a song about "promises"? Well, if Tifa sung the song, it would make a lot of sense (Midgar Blues doesn't fit Tifa in the same way)! Since Aerith sings the song, people will just become confused like always, but they'll inevitably think about the "End of Disk 1" moment and if Aerith will be "saved" despite 2 and 2 not coming together (to be fair though, Aerith doesn't really have promises, but why mention their existence if that's the case?). The only real notable promise that implies lasting longer than a scene (I think) is the one Aerith gives to Zack in Crisis Core where she wants to "sell flowers under the sky" with him (it hasn't happened yet, but why make the entirety of FF7 Rebirth have a theme song about that one thing?)

People only have this idea that she is either "saved" or "not saved" and that's the only thing that can happen outside of...Tifa getting the latter instead. If Aerith survives then the story is clearly changed (which they promised not to do). If she is not saved then...what's the surprise they're cooking at the end? If Tifa dies then it's clearly surprising since her most important part comes later and now she's gone...but then again, they would need to change the story! If Zack appears in the OG timeline, well, that would be way too much of a change and I don't believe that has any purpose in happening (not that it can't, but it makes no sense right now).

Why is everyone so focused on Zack anyway? Is Square-Enix just going to change the entire story just to make Zack be in the game doing stuff? Everyone is latching onto Zack like he's the solution to everything, but it's clear that a lot of the background story of Remake is being ignored...and almost every other game in the FF7 compilation and the series.

It has to be a surprise that's bigger than Zack's appearance, and the only thing I can anticipate that can trump that which isn't just "100% not hinted" is Terra's appearance. We are already thinking about Aerith and Tifa dying, but that's the thing...we're thinking about it! We weren't thinking about Zack before he magically appeared for no apparent reason! It's likely they did this so that they can do it again. What in the world can happen in FF7's universe that would be as surprising as a character not from FF7 appearing in it? Someone dying? That's not surprising, that's expected.

I already see comments how the song reminds them of FF6 and "Eyes on Me", a song about Squall and Rinoa...who are designed after Cloud's FF6 prototype and Terra (and their Dissidia story hints at FF8 connections because the love story from FF6 is a real thing that keeps being reused in other games in small chunks). Y'know, protecting people, flowers, orphans, pets, someone leaving just to return, being brainwashed, shooting stars, guy who wants to be a hero, witches, childhood friend, some guy who thinks he's better than the main character, yep.

The original promise comes from FF6. My working theory is that Tifa and Aerith's Midgar stories were once for one character (Terra). The main character of FF6 (who was cut) promises he'll protect Terra AND he also ends up saving her (in contradiction to FF7's promising one character but obsessing about not being able to save the other).

A "saving" part still exists (with Locke I guess), but Terra's story lacks a lot that it would have had with the missing character (the same one who became the main character of FF7). Other characters in FF inherited parts of Terra's missing story elements (those characters have "Moogle Girl" bangs with Eiko [Terra's childhood] and Sherlotta [Terra's cat (Tifa's Traces of Two Pasts hints that)] being the biggest).

This is the very beginning of Terra's story in the original Dissidia. The kid is "Onion Knight" from FF3 (NES) who is secretly representing Cloud as a child. Cloud ends up appearing to "save" Terra soon after in the center of the planet (basically where Cloud tells Tifa that "he'll meet her there" in the OG ending). Onion Knight is represented by "Oates" from FF7 Remake. Terra is looking at the stars when her story starts, which is another hint by Cloud...

This star appears in the FF6 Opera and became a story element in Tifa's promise scene before it was removed in FF7 Remake (it appears in FF8 because it's origin is the FF6 Opera, not FF7). Cloud is talking about Firion's dream to fill the world with Wild Roses, but he's just mocking it since it sounds "childish". And yeah, Cloud would end up sharing that dream with Terra during her Dissidia story since "Filling the World with Flowers" is cut from FF6 and no other character in FF does such a thing to that degree...those random fields of flowers in FF8, FF15, etc. are a symbol of this cut "dream" from FF6. There's a reason why Terra's clothes are full of them, y'know. Aerith's concept art lacks flowers btw. The story element in Crisis Core where Zack and Aerith have a dream to fill Midgar with flowers is and always was connected to Cloud & Terra's Dissidia scene because these four characters are connected. Zack is designed after Cloud and Aerith is designed after Terra. These things aren't the way they are for no reason.

Zack <- Cloud -> Sephiroth Aerith <- Terra -> Jenova

Zack is Cloud's friend. Sephiroth is Cloud's antithesis by design. Aerith is Terra's friend. Jenova is Terra's antithesis by design.

I'm jumping pretty far by saying Aerith is Terra's friend (they're designed after each other), and I know that, but my entire profile involves lots of "jumping". Don't make me start talking about the Phoenix Tower in FF5 where enemies that look similar to Aerith, Terra, and Jenova appear (designed by Nomura none-the-less)...I dislike talking about that.

Well, enough of that. I don't want to bore you. Aerith hints at a "surprise" in Remake when Cloud decides to pick...grass...for the orphanage.

"I gotta hand it to you, I never would've thought of that. It'll definitely take them by surprise."

The orphanage most notably represents Terra because how many characters have orphans in their story as much as she has? The white flower means loyalty, which is represented by a moogle...and Terra's represented by them a lot. The yellow one implies that Cloud will meet this person "some time in the future". You can't ignore that. At the point where the main theme of FF7 Rebirth is sung, Cloud has met every notable character in FF7 except Zack. The FF6 Opera and Loveless are about "meeting someone again after leaving/being left by them" and the "Midgar Blues" is about "leaving someone".

Does it make sense that it's Aerith? Aerith IS with Zack in his timeline and Aerith already did low-key reunite with Cloud when he fell from "heaven". How about Tifa? Perhaps in the beginning, but that's long gone now in her own words when she was talking to Cloud in Aerith's flower garden.

The Reunion is about Terra waiting for Cloud back in FF6 limbo as the song sung by Celes states. "Reunion" was originally a bad-guy story element with Sephiroth and Jenova, but Cloud and Terra represent the good side of it. "Hollow" states that instead of waiting, Terra herself will come to FF7R. That is the expectation and Zack's story allows this to happen as anything can happen there without ruining the OG story.

If there was a big change in the OG storyline then Zack's timeline didn't serve much, if any purpose! Why would they have made it then!?!

Yet, everyone's expecting some change to the OG storyline, so it's not surprising that they'll make it seem like that'll be a thing before or when the "surprise" happens. Let me just use the Aerith quote again:

"I gotta hand it to you, I never would've thought of that. It'll definitely take them by surprise."

I still feel that FFXIII-2 is the original rough-draft of Zack's storyline...we'll wait and see. Serah is clearly made after Terra and Lightning is made after Cloud, but was Noel made after Zack? He does come in a meteor and starts doing timeline changing stuff like it's his sworn duty, oddly enough.

I haven't tagged any posts recently...guess this will do.

There's something missing...oh yah.

This is when Cloud goes to look for a person who'll show him "the reason why he fights". The "That's a promise" crumb trail goes like this in order:

Aerith & Zack promise to sell flowers under the sky together. Of course, Zack dies and gives his sword to Cloud, which is the main storyline of Cloud's in Dissidia. Zack gave Cloud his "honor" and "dreams" (filling Midgar with flowers) along with the sword, but in Dissidia, Cloud doesn't understand why he has it.

Cloud promising the other FF protags that he'll return with an answer as to the reason why he fights (which he talks about at the end of FF7 with his "A very personal memory that I have".) He tries to skip over Sephiroth and he gets his crystal "the white materia", but he just continues onward to find his answer.

Onion Knight telling Terra that he'll "always protect her". Cloud then meets Terra after OK disappears and they converse about the flower dream which is similar to Zack and Aerith's in Crisis core before that first "That's a promise".

Cloud's "Reason to Fight" is to protect a person, and this was originally for Terra as that was the original promise hinted by the FF6 Opera. This is his "very personal memory"...it's very personal because only he knows it. To see that it was hinted all the way back in OG FF7 is surprising, but it is what it is. Cloud knows something he's not supposed to.

Thank you for reading this perspective.

[zimithrus1]

Tag 9 people you want to get to know better!

I always get nervous about tagging people cause I always feel like I’ll bother them, but if I had to pick some people I’ll go ahead and tag @secluded-delusions @up-sideand-down @thatrandomartistyoufound and @kazeshxni​ I know it’s not 9 but still 😅 And no pressure to participate guys! Also thank you for the tags @prismaticpichu and @aerislei !!

Three Ships:

Cloud/Zack - FFVII: I remember when I first started shipping this about 10 or so odd years ago, even still have the first art I ever drew of the ship lol! But I’ve loved it for such a long time, there was just something about two best friends through thick and thin, with their cute little x arm handshake thing, Zack inviting Cloud to lunch (even though Cloud is currently suffering from motion sickness lmao bad timing there Zack XD) and that he cared for Cloud for like 4 fucking years in his comatose state, he never left him behind, literally died for him when he could have just abandoned him, but he didn’t. And of course in Advent Children when Zack shows up and asks if he needs a hand with Sephiroth, reminds him what he is. I love it so much 💚 It will always be my favorite ship of all time 💗

Zagreus/Thanatos - Hades: I love their dynamic. Like, they used to be close before Zagreus started his attempts to leave the underworld, but then when he started, a distance grew between them. And the first time you encounter him in the game you can tell there’s some animosity between them ‘no escaping from death?’ ‘I left when I had to’ ‘If you won’t say it then I will - goodbye Zagreus’ and then the more you encounter him and gift him ambrosia the closer you become again, mending that once broken trust and friendship, eventually ending up together. ‘I’m right here, aren’t I?’ I love it 🥰

Galo/Lio - Promare: Literally Happy goofy sunshine boy meets grumpy grump boy. Their relationship begins so rocky, as enemies; firefighter against burnish. And the more that time passes, Galo realizes the Burnish don’t burn for no reason, that they are humans just like them, and how could he not realize the truth of what’s happening. Eventually needing to work together to save the earth they call their home. Galo even bringing Lio back to life when he’s about to crumble to ash. I loved their dynamic a ton and how their personalities clashed before they found a way to get along and work together. It’s very good!

First Ship: Inuyasha and Kagome - Inuyasha. I started shipping these 2 when I was 11 after my brother get me into the series, starting with the Castle in the Looking Glass movie. Then I went and watched all the anime and read a ton of the manga books. It’s the earliest ship I can remember, and one of the first fanfics I ever wrote 😆

Last Song: Everglow by Starset (I really really love this band and I’ve been on a Starset kick for months now)

Last Movie: uhhh... shit I’m trying to remember the last movie I watched 😂 I think it was Free Guy

Currently Reading: I have not been reading much actually, aside from some fanfics which the last one I read was one of mine before bed 😂

Currently watching: Sonic Prime. Just started watching it last night and it has a very interesting premise! I love how Tails has 9 tails and goes by 9, I thought that was really cool ngl 😊

Currently consuming: Does Vicks Cough and Congestion medicine count? That’s the last thing I downed 😆 (Yeah, still sick as hell 👍)

Currently craving: Nothing in terms of food, I have 0 appetite 😭 I am craving no longer being sick and playing Crisis Core again! 😆 I’ve been ill since Wednesday like plzzz XD

[augment-techs]

For the first sentence of a fic prompt...

Not many things could change the world, tilt its axis and make it settled into a new perfect form as holding the hand of someone you loved.

Not many things could change the world, tilt its axis and make it settle into a new perfect form as holding the hand of someone you loved.

It was just...this wasn't what Billy had been expecting after eighteen years in a sort of cross-holding of Purgatory and Hell; the mind being the only place he could fully be--the rest of his body and the fore-running thoughts and actions kept to appeasing the power of Drakkon's spell of obedience. Jason fresh from a battle and the Deadlock had found him in the little tower outside of Angel Grove, hidden away at Drakkon's command to help build blueprints and organize laws and consider the enemies that were constantly bombarding Earth from outer space because Rita and Zedd were gone and Drakkon had to sleep; the place of cold stone and ever growing ivy and moss on the outside not so different from the plain bedclothes he spent all day in--which was to say almost like a fairy tale or a kind of Victorian sensibility that had died out in recent decades. Jason had called Kim, Kim had broken the spell, Billy had been encircled by his friends that had thought him dead, remembered blood on their hands and his corpse with a hole through the chest, but Billy had explained away with tears running down his face and eyes looking at nothing but the shadows outside of his doorway in the shape of familiar people that were too scared to see him so fragile and not knowing better deeds had been done to make up for past ill will and poor choices, "Drakkon isn't very good at illusions spells, but I think he knew that he couldn't do everything on his own and that Finster couldn't be trusted with everything; I made a good tool." Three weeks passed like a fog after rain, Billy brought back to the palace the Coinless and sentries were trying to build up into something like coming out of a dream or a nightmare, his meeting and speaking with people again that he hadn't expected to miss in Bulk (Billy hadn't thought the other could get much bigger, or turn so gentle, with so many teenagers following after him in the rebuilding process--didn't think he'd see Kim trust him most of all and explain how his trust was probably what allowed her to help save them from a ghost of a witch), or constantly seeking company in Trini and Zack when they weren't too busy, or finding himself giving Jason something of a wide berth because the solitude and Drakkon's choices had changed them both in such a polarizing way. But what changed was finally coming across the person in the world he'd known the longest, resting after a long day of doing his duty inside the palace in the color of blood--his armor put away and his clothes for remaining unseen so different from when they were teenagers that Billy had almost smacked into a wall looking at him from behind, blinking, and swerving his head around to look again--and turning almost into a stone statue when Billy walked over like a zephyr to take his hand, saying his name barely above a whisper, "Eugene?"

[honorisen]

It'd been a long day; between Shayan falling ill and Yuga showing signs of following suit, both Sera and Zack had been pulling double duty around the house since nearly dawn. Everything needed to be cleaned, the boys needed soup and an extra close eye kept on them, bedding needed to be washed, medicine to be tricked into their sons... Maybe 'long day' didn't even begin to cover it, but it was the best descriptor Sera could think of, at the very least.

Exhaustion had set in long before night fell, yet despite her desire to grab her husband and drag him to bed with her for a much needed rest, she found herself leaning against the boys' bedroom doorway, listening to the story he'd decided to tell. Heroes on an adventure to save the world... It sounded so much like him that she couldn't help but smile, watching his expression light up and soften as the story went on and Shayan and Yuga both drifted off to sleep along the way, wrapped up in their blankets like a couple of caterpillars inside cocoons. He'd always been good at that - At making everyone around him so comfortable they let every bit of their guard drop, that was, waiting until he'd tucked them in and turned off the light before she'd grabbed his hand and tugged him into the hallway.

"You're amazing," the smaller breathed, careful to keep her voice soft lest they wake their sleeping kids. A rock onto her toes allowed for a stolen kiss; he wouldn't mind a bit of loving awe and praise, would he~? "I always knew you were wonderful... But Shiva, Zack... You're even an amazing father, I- I love you. I love you - I love you, I love you, I love you. So, so much... And there isn't a day I'm awestruck by you... Or more thankful to have you in my life. Zackary Fair... You're one hell of a man, and the best."

“ C’mon, Sera! You know as much as I did that they weren’t gonna fall asleep to anything else. A story like that was the quickest way to get them both to settle down- ”

And in Zack’s defense, he was just falling back on old tactics and habits, too. When he’d been a kid, the quickest way to get his attention off not feeling the best was a story -- and his mom had been the best at them! Zack wouldn’t give himself as much praise as a storyteller as what Sera was giving him, but it had been a enough to get Shayan and Yuga to both fall asleep and that’s all Zack had asked for.

But he definitely wouldn’t complain about all the affection and attention he was getting from one loving, adorable, and cute girl in exchange for lulling two cranky, fussy kids to sleep either. Sera’s kiss would quickly find herself pulling into an even warmer hug with an mused laugh as soon as Zack had pulled her away from the bedroom doorway.

“ But if story time’s gonna net me rewards like this, then maybe I should do it more often, huh? ” 

[lucianalight]

Have you ever watched the Thor Honest Trailer commentary with one of the co-writers. He confirms that yes Odin's a crappy father who mistreated his kids and Loki's plan the whole time was just to gain his father's approval. It's funny how so many seem to not get that.

I hadn't watched it before and I really enjoyed Zack's commentary!

A couple of things I'd like to talk about:

"The interesting thing is they already knew at that point we're building towards the Avengers. They said guys if you fail at everything else give us a villain as good as Magneto."

They intentionally made Loki a complex and sympathetic character but as soon as they were done with him, they didn't know how to handle his arc and tried their hardest to just undo everything that made Loki such an interesting character. Like I don't know how you create a character that can compete with Magneto and then you expect the audience to just forget about all of his complexity and be ok with retcons about his past and accept an incompetent clown instead of him.

Marvel: Give us a villain as good as Magneto.

*Loki becomes one of the most beloved characters*

Marvel: Not like that!

"The thing that made Loki so close to our heart as a villain was that if you look at events of Thor from his perspective he was the hero he was the one who was saving the kingdom from his hot-headed brother who wasn't ready"

Yes! Thank you! We've been saying this all these years.

- "What was Loki's plans?"

- "Loki's plan all along was to essentially lure the Frost Giants in and kill them to impress Odin. It's all about impressing dad that he's the worthy one."

Gotta love that a bunch of people who presumably consume movies constantly for their job, fail at realizing Loki's plans and motives. Smh.

"He[Odin] treats his sons not so well and when one of them calls him on his shit he pretends to, he feigns illness."

Yes!!! And people still saying Odin was a good dad when literally the screenwriter of the movie says he wasn't.

Thank you for telling me about this video anon! I enjoyed watching it and it was so validating :D

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

Knowing how hard people worked to make Loki a nuanced intriguing character only for 2021 series to say he's a spoiled power hungry narc feels like such an insult to everyone's hard work. I want Sylvie to be dragged through the mud to make them see what it feels like

Wow, hearing Zack was great. Greatest highlights:

"The thing that made Loki so close to our hearts as a villain was that, if you look at the events of Thor from his perspective, he was the hero. He was the one who was saving the kingdom from his hotheaded brother who wasn't ready"

I really like that quote and shows why Loki is such a great character. Most times the villains/antagonists are just there to confront the hero but they don't have much of a backstory, in this case Loki is so wonderfully fleshed out that this thing Zack says shines throughout the movie.

"At the end of the day what we always said we were doing is we're telling a story about two boys who both want their father to love them"

"Loki's plan along […] is all about impressing dad"

This is something the series creators have retconned by claiming Loki is just a narcissist who doesn't care about anything or anyone, or that his only purpose has always been to sit on a throne. We know it's a lie and Zack says as much.

"Odin treats his sons not so well and when one of them calls him on his shit he pretends, he feigns illness"

If this was the intent I'm not sure it translated to the screen, honestly. But it's interesting nonetheless.

I'd like to point out as well something else that stood out to me. Zack says they knew they needed an antagonist to Thor and thought Shield could play that role but Marvel were concerned because to them Shield are the good guys.

I don't know when they decided Shield would have been infiltrated by Hydra since the 40's but I'm going to assume they hadn't thought of that yet back in 2011, but besides that it's funny to me that someone at Marvel would question the validity of an antagonist because they're "good guys" therefore they can only fill the role of heroes? Antagonists are not villains and it's perfectly possible for a character who's mostly good or somewhat morally grey to fit that role. Dunno, hearing that quote from him made me think that Marvel have this black or white thinking of good guys are heroes and bad guys are villains and that's pretty backwards and amazingly limiting, imo.

I don't particularly need Sylvie to be treated like crap, she has already been dragged through the mud in S1 by portraying her as a Mary Sue with no personality and no interesting qualities. They had a pretty good character in her, they just didn't know what to do with it or they didn't care enough to write her well. It truly is a shame.

[bbnibini]

Slow Dancing in the Dark (Barbatos)🎵

"MC has Hanahaki and Diavolo is worried why MC is coughing up petals, MC is reluctant to tell him why and goes to Barbatos for advice." (anon requester) AO3 vers.

The title was based on Joji's song of the same name, but this was actually inspired by Zack Tabudlo's song, Binibini (aka "Lady/Miss" in English and yes. My name is a pun of that). I was initially planning on making this Diavolo-centric but I can't resist the second male lead ✨A N G S T✨ I apologise if it derailed from the winning request but, I still hope you will enjoy this! ;;

addendum: I wrote this in the midst of a terrible writer's block so most of the lines here are just strings of ideas rather than a narrative soz;

It had not been the first time he ever taught anyone to dance. Yet…something about the stolen nights he had with them felt…different.

“Welcome back, MC.”

No matter the time they come to him, Barbatos would always find himself smiling at them. With a bashful expression, they would smile back and offer an apology for being late, mostly due to a protective Mammon breathing down their neck, or an anxious Lucifer who worried too much about their safety—he would smile back and say he did not mind, and would offer his hand for theirs to take.

“I’m bad at this,” they would say as he takes their hand and clasps it with his. At times, he places his palm on their back to soothe the ache they felt at every cough. They would miss a turn or two and lose cadence, only for them to look up at him and smile again.

With silence as their guide, their feet glided through the dance floor with leaded steps. His heart would stop at the sight of their hands covered in blood, petals of daffodils falling on the floor.

The words he had always wanted to say would lodge in his throat, unable to be uttered. He wondered if they ever knew.

The best he could do is to offer his hand, undoing the gloves blocking him from feeling the warmth of their own. Tiredly, they would rest their head on his shoulder and breathe softly.

“I’ll be okay.” They had danced through the same conversations for millions of times now—he knew it was a lie(of course it was)…but it still hurt to see them like this.

“Is that so?” He would say back, squeezing their hand as if letting them go for even a small moment would let them slip through his fingers. He refused to look at the future doomed to happen in eventuality—he denied its existence with all of its being. To change their future would be selfish. They chose to love despite it all, so he wanted to do the same.

🎵🎵🎵

The sight of their smile upon seeing his young Master was beautiful. They had carried out the pointers he had taught them in their impromptu etiquette lessons with poise and grace. As Diavolo guided them to the dancefloor, he dared not to close his eyes at the way theirs glowed and brightened when the prince took their hand.

He looked at his own hands—remembering the bloodied daffodils he had caught there last night. An ugly feeling started to knot in his stomach.

He would never know how much you’re hurting, if you would only—

He stopped thinking then and there.

Seeing the way they looked at the happy couple made all of his jealousy and its ugliness go away—the whisper of “Congratulations”, they said to them both, no matter how well-intentioned hid the heart that screamed for him to look their way. His own heart stopped once he sighted them coughing again. The composure he had thought he already mastered was lost entirely. He rushed towards them without rhyme nor reason, and ignored the concerned comments from the confused crowd. He took their hand and left, half-tempted to leave everything behind.

“It seems I’m running out of time,” They whispered at him, cruel yet kind.

Time? What irony. What was he, a demon of time worth if he couldn’t even save the one he loved?

But he will never speak of it. The feelings pouring out of his heart weren’t meant to be said.

It was a truth they should never know. It was the last act of kindness he thought he should give them so they could leave him with no regrets.

🎵🎵🎵

“Good evening, Barbatos.”

He was angry. Why were they here? What of the final moments they have left?

As if reading his mind, they smiled at him and offered their hand. “I wanted to dance with you, one last time.”

He bit his lip and forced himself to smile back. “May I take off my gloves?”

Cluelessly, they asked. “Why? I don’t feel cold right now.”

“I do.” He answered, feeling comfortably warm as he laced their fingers together.

They were thinner and paler than the last time he sighted them. The brothers were at a loss of the reason—Lucifer attributed it to a human world illness—terminal, with no known cure. If the eldest brother actually knew the truth, he never voiced it out, perhaps as his own way to show kindness.

“I snuck out…” They laughed. Barbatos couldn’t take his eyes off them, wondering if every step they take would be their last. “Lucifer told me to get some rest but…for some reason…”

“Reason?” He forced himself to say back. He squeezed their hands tighter as they made a turn.

“…I kept on thinking about our dance lessons for Lord Diavolo’s wedding.”

“MC—”

“I really am happy for them. It’s nice to see him smiling so brightly.”

“…Is that so?”

The sound of his name coming out from their lips made his heart clench.

“for some reason…I couldn’t stop thinking of you.”

Ah. He was hopeless.

“Barbatos?”

He didn’t want to let go. If he did…

“Please let me hold you…for a little longer.” He couldn’t say anything more. If he did, the three words he had been holding back would come out of him next.

Do they know? Was he being obvious? Were they…finally looking his way?

No…the bloodied daffodils on the dancefloor said otherwise. They hugged him back with the laughable strength they had left. He sat them next to him by the grand piano, with their head resting on his shoulder.

“I don’t regret anything, Barbatos. It had been a great life.”

“What are you saying? You’ll live for a hundred years more.” They both knew it was a lie. The silence consuming them was being buried by the words they were hesitating to speak to each other. To utter it out would change what they had, and they both knew one of them didn’t have the time for it.

“Can you see it? The future I would have?”

“Yes…” he pulled them closer to him. “It’s a bright and happy one with the people who love you.”

“…that’s nice. Are Lucifer and the others in there?”

“Yes.”

“What about Mr. and Mrs. Diavolo?”

“Of course. With a cute nephew for you to spoil.”

He felt them take his hand, lacing it with their own.

“…what about you, Barbatos? Are you there in my bright and happy future?”

The warmth of their hand was disappearing, as well as their smile barely holding back tears. It took all of his being to respond.

“In each and every one…I will always be there with you.”

How could he have been so foolish? Why was he holding back all this time? The words he never dared to say were now spilling out as it tried to grasp the laughter they shared with him in their final breaths.

“I’m so happy…”

.

.

.

.

.

.

The final words they have spoken will always be there with him, scattering in his heart, like the gentle daffodils beating on their own.

“…in my next life, I wish it would be with you.”

[amispnrewatch]

SPN 1x06 “Skin”

Okay, I’m gonna try to type while I watch this time instead of forgetting this blog exists until the episode is almost over.

You can tell the footage for the previously on segment was saved on a VHS copy instead of the original film that the show was shot with because even in the HD iTunes version I have it looks low quality as fuck. And jumpy in the way that brings me back to my teens watching the WB all the damn time.

I love this song. WTF is this song. Shazam says “Good Deal” by Mommy and Daddy. I… have no comment, except that it sounds like everything I was listening to in college at the time this shit was airing.

Aaaaand not!Dean turns around to face the SWAT team after obviously torturing some woman. THAT is a cold open.

I wanna know what that car is in the background. It’s pretty. Maybe a convertible Impala? They have similar grills. This is not at all important.

Also, I love that with these higher definition versions of the episodes you can see that Sam’s email is lawboy and whatever dot com and that people in the fandom have started calling him Law Boy. It’s hilarious.

DEAN: Well, what exactly do you tell ‘em? You know, about where you’ve been, what you’ve been doin’?

SAM: I tell ‘em I’m on a road trip with my big brother. I tell ‘em I needed some time off after Jess.

DEAN: Oh, so you lie to ‘em.

SAM: No. I just don’t tell ‘em….everything.

DEAN: Yeah, that’s called lying. I mean, hey, man, I get it, tellin’ the truth is far worse.

SAM: So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life? (DEAN shrugs.) You’re serious?

DEAN: Look, it sucks, but in a job like this, you can’t get close to people, period.

Aaaaand now I have Dean and Cassie feelings again and we haven’t even gotten to her episode yet.

SAM: No, man, I know Zack. He’s no killer.

DEAN: Well, maybe you know Zack as well as he knows you.

Aaaaaand now I have Dean and Lee feelings and we’re nowhere near Lee’s episode in season 15.

YOU JUST BLEW THROUGH A STOP SIGN DEAN WTF.

Little Becky. Oi with the reusing of names.

Of course Sam made friends with a bunch of rich kids while he was at college in a desperate attempt to try to be normal.

SAM: You know, maybe we could see the crime scene. Zack’s house.

DEAN: We could.

REBECCA: Why? I mean, what could you do?

SAM: Well, me, not much. But Dean’s a cop. (DEAN laughs.)

DEAN: Detective, actually.

I love that Dean was like “how dare you call me that.”

Okay, after a bit of research, I totally want to take a day trip to Bisbee, Arizona, but it’s already in the 90s here in the desert and it’s not even May so that trip is going to have to wait until… winter or something. There is no way in hell I’m going deeper into the desert when the weather gets hotter.

It’s a historic mining town tourist trap looking place now which is exactly the kind of shit I love.

SAM: Bec, look, I know Zack didn’t do this. Now, we have to find a way to prove that he’s innocent.

I mean, not technically, technically you would 1) NOT FUCK WITH A MURDER INVESTIGATION YOU’RE NOT LEGALLY INVOLVED IN BECAUSE ANYTHING YOU FIND WOULD BE INADMISSABLE IN COURT 2) find evidence to provide a reasonable doubt for the jury that he did commit the crime. You know, like a lawyer would need to do, Law Boy.

DEAN: I just don’t think this is our kind of problem.

When I made my husband watch this show with me (he’s seen it all at least once now over the years) this is the recurring thing that drove him crazy.

You guys can’t even go in through the back door? Or shut the front door behind you? Really?

REBECCA: (tearfully) Well, there’s no sign of a break-in. They say that Emily let her attacker in.

Yeah, that doesn’t even really mean that she knew her attacker. Just that it was someone she let her guard down around or got in some other way. See: The Son of Sam and Nightstalker, etc.

Love the pinup magnet on the fridge. I’d throw shade at that, but I have a pinup magnet on my fridge too so… pot kettle and all that.

Okay, both people in the next couple are gorgeous.

And oh wow those special effects changing eyes… wow.

This poor couple. I feel so bad for them in this episode.

How… how are the police gonna explain the way he was able to beat himself over the head with a bat??? I…

I love that 5:30 in the morning on TV is clearly like… 10 AM.

Okay, this is a really unrelated point, but the graffiti on the dumpster here reminds me of the Teen Wolf fandoms use of the name Void!Stiles when Stiles Stilinski was possessed by a Nogitsune… I just spent way too long digging through YouTube and my Tumblr tags from back when those episodes were airing looking for a few specific videos and couldn’t find them. The TL;DR reason I bring it up here is goofball, bi-coded main character guy getting possessed by an entity set on destroying the people he loves. SOUNDS LIKE THIS EPISODE AND A WHOLE LOT OF SPN RIGHT. I love that all these monster hunting shows call out to each other.

This scene haunts me years later and I don’t even WATCH Teen Wolf. I just watched the fandom on Tumblr collectively lose it’s shit then tripped down a Hale Pack fanfiction rabbit hole.

ANYWAY

Back to Supernatural, a show that also treated its fan base, cast, and characters like garbage! Huzzah!

DEAN: Well, there’s another way to go—down. (They look down and notice a manhole.)

I’m gonna be mature and ignore the double entendre there…

But I love that Dean thinks of the world in 3D. Which sounds like a dumb statement to make, but this is honestly a good example of that in action.

SAM: I bet this runs right by Zack’s house, too.

Really Sam, sewers run by houses? SO WEIRD. I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED.

DEAN: You know, I just had a sick thought. When the shapeshifter changes shape—maybe it sheds.

SAM: That is sick. (DEAN puts the bloody pile back on the ground.)

Guys, there is a WHOLE ASS EAR in that pile of yuck you’re looking at. I think it’s pretty safe to assume the shapeshifter indeed sheds its skin like a snake. A much… gooier snake.

Sam’s friend is rightfully pissed at him for fucking with the crime scene.

This is before the pearl gripped guns?! Wow. I never noticed that before.

Also, this whole episode gives me feelings.

++++

Cool. Tumblr mobile ate a whole section of my notes on this when it crashed for NO APPARENT REASON. Love that.

It always boggles my mind that actors can trust the people they’re working with enough to let people “tie” ropes around their neck or put them in actually dangerous positions in a scene.

SHAPESHIFTER: He’s sure got issues with you. You got to go to college. He had to stay home. I mean, I had to stay home. With Dad. You don’t think I had dreams of my own? But Dad needed me. Where the hell were you?

SAM: Where is my brother? (The shapeshifter leans in close to SAM.)

SHAPESHIFTER: I am your brother. See, deep down, I’m just jealous. You got friends. You could have a life. Me? I know I’m a freak. And sooner or later, everybody’s gonna leave me. (He backs away.)

SAM: What are you talkin’ about?

SHAPESHIFTER: You left. Hell, I did everything Dad asked me to, and he ditched me, too. No explanation, nothin’, just poof. Left me with your sorry ass. But, still, this life? It’s not without its perks. (He laughs.) I meet the nicest people. Like little Becky. You know, Dean would bang her if he had the chance. Let’s see what happens. (He smiles and covers SAM with a sheet.)

This exchange is just… so much. So many feelings. And I will forever (unless we magically get a fix-it fic mini season someday…) be SO MAD that none of this got resolved in that pointless, trash heap of a finale.

REBECCA: Okay, so, this thing—it can make itself look like anybody?

SHAPESHIFTER: That’s right. (She chuckles.)

REBECCA: Well, what is it, like a genetic freak? (The shapeshifter laughs.)

SHAPESHIFTER: Maybe. Evolution is about mutation, right? So, maybe this thing was born human but was different. Hideous and hated. Until he learned to become someone else. (REBECCA looks around, uncomfortable. The shapeshifter’s eyes glint silver, and he smiles.)

It always amazes me how much of this show is a pile of accidental queer allegories parading around in an ill-fitting toxic masculinity suit.

Vulcan mind meld! I love nerd!Dean. Also, I’m rewatching Star Trek: TOS with my husband, because that is what my life amounts to these days, rewatching comfort TV and flailing over the bits I love.

This post does a better job than I can do of pairing up screen caps with the dialogue of this next scene. SIX EPISODES IN. They’re dumping all of this character depth SIX EPISODES IN. FUCK THIS SHOW FOR NOT EMBRACING ITSELF.

Okay, I love that he screams back in her face after he threw the phone. It’s not something to laugh at because the situation is horrifying, but I can’t help laughing at it every time.

AND THE WAY THEY CUT THESE SCENES. Going from him winding his hand back to backslap her directly to him dropping the chains on the table to show how hard he must have hit her without actually making the actors hit each other. Good job editing department!

I… don’t understand the shifter’s motivation for killing people. If he can take over people’s identities without killing them, why kill them? Is it just because he’s a homicidal, rapist piece of shit? Cause that’s all it seems like.

How did the SWAT team even know she was being attacked? Why can the snipers aim no better than Storm Troopers?

Ugh, these kind of transformation body horror scenes are exactly why werewolf stories have never really appealed to me much. Like, I could do without watching your ribs move and teeth fall out, dude.

BUT.

THIS FUCKING SCENE.

I looked up the song that’s playing over shapeshifter!Dean being caught by the SWAT team and then going through the grotesque transformation. (And as far as I know, the iTunes version has the original music from the episodes.)

It’s a song called “Mary” by The Death Riders

Who's your mother, who's your mother here boy // Who's your mother, whos your mommy dear // Who's your father, who's your father here boy // Who's your father, who's your daddy dear

Silently screaming // Where everyone knows // Daddy's always watchin' // Where everywhere - everywhere I go

I don't wanna be a freak show pretty boy anymore // I don't wanna be a full time slave // I don't wanna be your midnight cowboy anymore // I just want to be Mary

This is… a fascinating choice. Here are the rest of the lyrics. The song as a whole has a weird incesty kinda vibe to it? Kinda like when SPN tries to straight-wash itself and misses the mark wildly. (Like Dean’s male siren episode.)

The midnight cowboy line reminded me of 12x11 and the bull riding scene with “Broomstick Cowboy” by Bobby Goldsboro playing over it

Dream on, little Broomstick Cowboy, // Dream while you can; // Of big green frogs, // And puppy dogs, // And castles in the sand.

For, all too soon you'll awaken; // Your toys will all be gone. // Your broomstick horse will ride away, // To find another home. // And you'll have grown into a man, // With cowboys of your own. // And then you'll have to go to war, // To try and save your home.

And then you'll have to learn to hate; // You'll have to learn to kill. // It's always been that way, my son; // I guess it always will.

Because, you know, why not add tons of feelings into the lyrics, right?

Props to the people who can embrace their rewatches and reclamations of the show with ease. Because every episode seems to remind me of how hollow and tragic Dean’s ending was and I just… struggle all over again.

Anyway, back to the episode so I can move on with my day.

REPORTER: An anonymous tip led police to a home in the Central West End, where a S.W.A.T team discovered a local woman bound and gagged. Her attacker, a white male, approximately twenty-four to thirty years of age, was discovered hiding in her home. (A sketch of DEAN appears on the screen.)

DEAN: Man! That’s not even a good picture. (SAM looks around cautiously.)

SAM: It’s good enough. (He walks away.)

DEAN: Man! (He follows SAM.)

(CUT TO: Alley. DEAN and SAM are walking. DEAN steps into a puddle.)

DEAN: Ugh, come on.

I love that we get two tiny little back-to-back vanity moments for Dean here. One commenting on the sketch artist rendition of him being broadcasted on the news and the other tripping in the puddle. There is literally someone running around the city trying to kill people while wearing Dean’s face, but Dean is still concerned with how he looks appears to others. He’s still concerned with keeping up his own performance. The shifter left him with just a t-shirt, so he doesn’t even have his usual comfort layers on and at any moment someone could spot him and call the police or try to kill him for assaulting Sam’s friend. His life is wildly out of control in that moment and the only thing he can try to focus on is his appearance (something semi-controllable) and finding the shifter before any of that other shit can happen.

One day I want to put together a like top 10 episodes focusing on / explaining each TFW character from the series. Like the kind of list you could show someone who’s never seen the show, but has OPINIONS about the characters (or who hasn’t seen the whole show and seen the growth they went through… you know, like the people responsible for the travesty of 15x20). This episode would be on that list. I’m not sure how I could manage to make a list of only 10 episodes to understand Dean Winchester by, but eh.

SAM: What are you gonna do to me?

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, I’m not gonna do anything. Dean will, though.

SAM: They’ll never catch him.

SHAPESHIFTER: Oh, doesn’t matter. Murder in the first of his own brother? He’ll be hunted the rest of his life. (He picks up a sharp knife and examines it.)

Speaking of season 15 in general, this right here. This was Chuck’s villain story arc thesis statement. AND THEY DROPPED THE GODDAMN BALL WITH IT. I think that’s the thing that honestly pisses me off the most these days (about 5 1/2 months from when the finale aired) is that they tried making the whole thing a tragedy but did such an awful job with it that it just ended up like a deflating condom balloon at a dive bar concert. Disappointing and gross. The finale for season 14 set them up SO FUCKING WELL and it just… didn’t get there.

Becky’s parents are gonna be pissed at how torn up their house is after all this shit…

And you’re not shooting him when you first see him strangling Sam because…?????

I like that he took the necklace back. Also, is this kinda Dean death number .5 of the show? Like it wasn’t him but it was also kinda him. Eh.

At least they left the windshield on Baby this time. Reflections are better than tearing her apart.

[tiifalockhart]

End of the F**king World

Pairing: Sephiroth/Reader

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: major character death, implications of stalker behavior, mentions of torture, mentions of insanity, portrayal of mental illness, end of the world, anxiety, depression, alludes to suicide

A/N: this wasn’t a request, however, this idea had been on my mind for quite awhile. with lots of motivation, i finally put it into words. please keep in mind that there are huge trigger warnings for this content, since it is probably the most angsty and intense thing i’ve written on this blog!! i hope you enjoy reading, feedback is greatly appreciated

Ao3 || Masterlist 

After it all had fallen apart, there was nothing left to hope for. 

Genesis was gone, Angeal was dead, Zack was dead, Sephiroth was... Dead? His body was found deep inside the destroyed Nibleheim reactor, so it was possible that Sephiroth was dead, right? But...

You aren’t supposed to see dead people.

So why was it that Sephiroth was constantly following you around? Why was he silently watching you at all times? No matter where you looked, he was there. It was chilling to see his cat-like mako eyes pierce into your skull. His twisted smirk made your stomach churn and want to run away as fast as you could, but there was no where to run. He was always with you. Whether you wanted him or not, it seemed like you didn’t have a choice. 

What did you do to earn such a strange connection to the dead? 

That’s right... In Nibleheim, you were there. You were one of the sole survivors that witnessed it all. The roaring flames, the deafening screams and cries of dying people, the sound of buildings collapsing and blades crashing against one another, you relived it every time you closed your eyes. 

Sephiroth sought out to kill you, even though you were a simple bystander. But... That wasn’t the complete truth, was it? You were more important than anyone else at Nibleheim. That’s why he came after you, right? Think of it as... Young love, a childhood best friend, his only friend, that’s what you were. That is, until you mysteriously disappeared and left him all alone. You were taken far away from Shinra after being deemed as... “Intruding.” You and Sephiroth were just children, you didn’t understand the world. You always thought wishfully because even as a child, you knew that Sephiroth didn’t belong in a laboratory twenty-four-seven. You put all of these ideas of “running away” or “sneaking out” into his head. He became obsessed with the idea for the longest time. He wanted to run away, he wanted to experience this life that you mentioned so many times, he wanted to experience normalcy. 

When Hojo caught wind of this... Disobedience, he sent you and your family far away. He sent you as far away as he could. Your father began to work at the Nibleheim Mansion as a book keeper as punishment for your indiscipline. Sephiroth felt betrayed by your disappearance. He blamed you for the punishments he received for wanting to escape. He blamed you for leaving him alone to deal with it. He never forgot about it, instead he bottled it up and chalked it up to some kind of cruel training he had to go to. 

As he grew up, those thoughts bothered him less and less. He figured he would never have to see you again, therefore he would never have to face that trauma again. Instead of coping with it, he pushed it away to the deepest place he could and tried to forget about it. But as things around him began to crumble, all of his past traumas began to surface again. Genesis ended up leaving him, so did Angeal. His two friends, his only friends since you, ended up leaving him. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? 

Surprisingly, it didn’t take long for him to snap. The moment he knew he was being sent to Nibleheim for a mission, dread began to build up inside of him. As if it were a sixth sense, he knew something was going to happen here. He made sure to keep his guard up as they arrived at Nibleheim, who knew what was going to happen?

What he didn’t expect, though, was that the threat he was dreading would end up being himself. Dealing with the loss of his two friends was enough, but he never expected having to face you after all those years. You looked exactly the same from when you were a child. Sephiroth knew who you were in an instance when he saw you in that village. He knew that he couldn’t stay. He had to run from you, he had to run, he had to. He avoided you like the plague, unwilling to unpack the bottled-up regret and anger he held for you. His mind couldn’t stop wandering to his childhood with you, he began to question everything. Why were you here in Nibleheim? Why did you leave him? Why was he punished because of you? Why did Genesis and Angeal have to leave, too? He felt sick, he felt weak and dizzy, nothing was making sense anymore. 

That was just the tip of the iceberg, though. 

The moment his eyes landed on those monsters in the reactor, he felt something inside of him shatter. He needed answers. He needed anything. 

He needed something. 

Something to grip onto.

He was losing his mind. 

What was reality? What was real and what was fake? 

He couldn’t hear himself over his own thoughts anymore. He was descending into madness. He couldn’t stop himself from wandering into that library. It was similar to a deep, primal instinct. It felt like he was hunting for prey. But there was no prey. He was hunting for... Nothing? It didn’t make sense, nothing made sense anymore. The voices of concern were drowned out by his mind screaming at him. His mind told him that he couldn’t eat or sleep until he had answers. Who was he? Who were his parents? Why did he want to escape? What are these voices in his head? 

He paced back and forth until his legs were numb, his fingers frantically flipped through the pages of those books, his heart pounded in his chest to the point where it was deafening. He was terrified for the first time in his life. But it wasn’t because of some foe he had to face. No... 

He was terrified of himself. 

That’s when he stumbled upon the documents named ‘Project S.’ His fingers trembled as his eyes scanned the pages. His arms grew weak, he couldn’t stand anymore and ended up collapsing against the wall. He slid down the wall slowly as he took in every bit of information. 

He was... A monster? 

No.

He was an Ancient...

He was a God.

This was his world. 

It all belonged to him.

He was betrayed by everyone. He was treated like an experiment on his own Earth. He was destroyed and numbed to the cruelties of this Earth, used by simple humans for their own bidding. He was dumbed down to a puppet. Everyone else had to have known, right? His mother was Jenova... The J.E.N.O.V.A.? They lied to him. How could they all keep this from him..? His own friends, his mentors and companions? Why did they... It didn’t make sense. Even Zack hid all of this from him... His last friend...

It all started with the books. 

Sephiroth burned them all. He was caught up in a fit of rage. He was betrayed by everyone. Everyone he’s come to know has known what he is, but decided to hide it. His entire existence was a lie. It was all fabricated from birth. How many people knew besides the scientists? The people he laid down his life for ended up betraying him. He would never forgive the human race for what they’ve done.

Before he knew it, the entire village was in flames. Overcome with rage, Sephiroth decided he was personally going to rip the world apart. Everyone would suffer because of what they’ve done to him. There was no room for negotiation anymore, they lost that privilege many years ago. 

During this fit of rage, Sephiroth’s eyes managed to land on you. This was where it all started, wasn’t it? You could have saved him, you could have told him the truth. You knew what he was, but you participated in treating him like... Like some lab rat. You lied, and you were just as guilty as everyone else. 

He couldn’t stop himself from raising Masamune over his head. His vision was red with anger, he was no longer thinking for himself. His mind screamed at him. This is what they wanted, wasn’t it? A truly powerful being... 

He’d show you what power really looks like. 

It was all your fault. 

How you managed to escape was a mystery to all. How Sephiroth was still alive was a mystery to you. You couldn’t wrap your head around it. 

You remembered that day very clearly. You hadn’t even known Sephiroth was in Nibleheim. You didn’t know that he still remembered you. You didn’t know that you planted the seed for his inevitable mental break. 

Now, you were cursed with a daily reminder. His eyes would never leave you for as long as you lived. You assumed the same fate followed you into the Lifestream. 

The day of the Nibleheim Incident, you took off into hiding immediately. You couldn’t face the guilt that possessed you. You could still clearly hear the pain in Sephiroth’s cries as he stood over you. “You took everything from me!” It played in your mind on repeat. He died knowing that it was all your fault this happened. His last few words would be permanently ingrained into your brain. You slightly wished that he had just finished the job in Nibleheim... But you somewhat convinced yourself that that wasn’t his intention. 

Now that he was staring you in the face, you couldn’t believe that he intended for you to die in Nibleheim. He fully intended on you living with your sins and carrying that burden until the end of your time. 

It’s been months now since his first appearance. You remembered when you first saw him after Nibleheim many months ago. You were making your morning deliveries, casually walking around the Sector 5 slums. You approaching the small orphanage located at the top of the slums, ready to face the children when you suddenly stopped in your tracks. Your eyes had been focused on the ground as you walked, so when you saw black boots suddenly appear in your vision, a confused expression formed on your features. You slowly lifted your head to look up at the mysterious figure, only to let out a blood-curdling scream and fall back. 

In front of you stood the silver-haired SOLDIER, he wore a twisted and sickening smirk, his eyes held a glint of... Desire. His left hand tightened around the hilt of his blade as he stared down at you. Fear consumed you as you prepared to finally die, your eyes squeezing tight as your hands came to cover your head. 

When nothing happened, you slowly lifted your head again to see everyone around you staring at you in confusion. Sephiroth was gone as if he completely vanished into thin-air. The ladies working at the orphanage stared at you, fear evident in their eyes. They held the children back from approaching you, as if you were the one to be feared.

No one else had seen Sephiroth. 

You were the only one. 

You quickly got up, not bothering to dust yourself off or gather your things, before taking off to your small shack. Surely, it was part of your imagination. People have mentioned having hallucinations and stuff, maybe that’s what happened. You tried to think it through logically as you splashed cold water on your face. When you lifted your head again, you felt his presence in the back of the room. 

“Why are you here?” You asked, your voice shaking as you turned towards him. He was leaning against the wall casually, his smirk still present. Instead of answering you, he simply looked in your direction before walking further into the house. His gaze sent chills down your spine. What kind of desire is he holding inside? 

Life went on like that for months. Eventually, you were forced to grow used to his presence, no matter how oppressive it was. He would follow you anywhere, basically. He hardly said anything, if he did, it was probably something obscure and ominous. Eventually, you began to talk to him more, finding it unreasonably hard to cope with what life has become. You were never sure if he was listening or not, but deep down inside, you kind of hoped. 

You were never sure what Sephiroth was intending to get out of spending all of his time with you. It kind of made you anxious, knowing that you had some... Purpose to him, something that made you special from everyone else. Even through the hard times like the fall of Sector 7, he hardly ever left your side. 

There was one night where you felt particularly lonely. Sephiroth seemed to be gone, no where to be found. It was odd, even if you were his sworn enemy, you still found yourself concerned if he wasn’t around. That night, to somehow distract yourself, you wandered out into the Sector 5 slums, hoping to cope with the suffocating loneliness. That’s when you heard the news channel booming from the monitor at the center of the town. You approached the crowd quietly, feeling your heart drop at the announcements. 

President Shinra was dead. They claimed it was from Avalanche, but you knew better than that. From behind you, you heard his chilling voice. 

“You agree that he deserved it, don’t you?” Sephiroth asked, his voice low. It sounded like just a whisper in your ear. The question was odd... He wasn’t asking for your opinion, instead he was asking which side you were on. 

President Shinra did deserve it, though, didn’t he? While you would never wish death upon someone, it was undeniable how terrible of a man the President was. You could only respond with a weak nod of your head, feeling too repulsed to give him anything more. 

You moved to take off back to your home, only to feel the burning sensation of his gloved hand wrapped around your forearm. “The end is nigh... Who’s side will you be on?” He questioned. You forced yourself to look back at him. 

“What end?” You asked, your voice shaking as you spoke. Sephiroth didn’t give you an answer, instead he let go and slowly backed into the shadows, leaving you alone once again. 

What end was he talking about? ...End of the world? No, he doesn’t have that kind of power, does he? Honestly, you weren’t sure what Sephiroth was capable of in this form. He was powerful before he died, but what is he capable of now that he is dead?

You wouldn’t know his true power until it came to you in dreams. Since President Shinra’s death, and your odd conversation with Sephiroth that night, you had been having weird dreams. They weren’t the kind of weird that you forget in an instance of waking up, no... These dreams were visions. They were of what was to come. You saw visions of people you didn’t know dying, you saw a giant star in the sky slowly closing in on the Midgar tower, you saw visions of the Lifestream erupting from the ground... They had to have been connected, didn’t they? 

Sephiroth was no longer around for you to question him. It’s like he suddenly vanished, like he never existed after Nibleheim. Had you imagined it all up? It was getting hard to tell. You couldn’t bring yourself to search for him. You didn’t want to see him anymore. Truthfully, you wished you had never seen him in the first place. 

It seemed like months had passed since then. You were really keeping track of time anymore, honestly. Things began to change in the world around you, though. Above you, in the sky, a meteor pushed against the atmosphere of the world. Everyone else was terrified of it, but... You honestly couldn’t say that you were afraid of it anymore. After months of visions, you saw it coming. 

This was the end that Sephiroth was talking about, wasn’t it? 

The end of his torment.

The end of the human race.

The end of the fucking world. 

You hated him for it. There was no one that could stop him... He knew that, everyone seemed to know it except for the innocent lives. You heard the daily questions from bystanders.

“Why is this happening?”

“Are we all going to die?”

“There is nothing we can do to stop it, is there?”

Humanity’s downfall rested in the palms of a revenge-stricken God, and there was nothing that could be done about it.

By now, you had already accepted death. It was inevitable at this point. The fates of everyone were completely compromised at this point, death stared everyone in the face. It was only a matter of time until the Meteor made contact with the Earth. 

You remembered when the evacuation of Midgar began. Every single person was forced onto trains, cars, buses, whatever mode of transportation was available in poor attempts to escape fate. You watched from the window as the bus drove away, your eyes glued to the Meteor. Only a few days from then...

Those next few days were absolute torture. The entire world played a waiting game. There was really nothing to do to prepare for impact. Any preparations would be futile. In the end, there seemed to be a collective loss of morale. 

This was the end.

Just a few hours before the Meteor struck, you remembered hearing that familiar unsettling voice. “What a beautiful creation.” Sephiroth commented, his eyes fixated on the star. You looked up at him, your burning gaze quickly turning into one of shock. He stood next to you, blood decorating his face and suit. 

“What happened to you?” You asked softly, your brows furrowing slightly in concern. As much as you hated to admit it, you still cared for him. 

He shook his head slowly. “I...” He hesitated, seeming to return to his old self for just a moment. He slowly turned towards you, regaining that twisted look. “Will never be a memory.” He hissed, before completely dissipating in front of you. 

Below you, the ground began to shake. Your eyes shot up to the Meteor, expecting to see Midgar destroyed by now, but to your surprise, streams of green were fighting it off. There were screams coming from the people around you, they all cheered on the Lifestream. You couldn’t bring yourself to cheer though. This was fate, wasn’t it? You found yourself strangely conflicted. 

In the end, the Meteor ended up being destroyed before it could even touch Midgar. You watched as the Meteor disintegrated into small rocks. The population around you cheered unendingly, thanking the Gods for survival. You found yourself unsure. You survived, but at what cost? This battle with Sephiroth isn’t over... You knew that deep down. A quiet sigh left your lips as you turned away from the celebrating crowds, finding it hard to relate. 

This wasn’t the end, after all. 

[prayersfromaerith]

Meta: Aerith + the Cetra

   I’ve been thinking on loop recently how...complicated Aerith’s heritage is. Especially from her own perspective, where it’s done nothing but cause pain to herself and the people around her. (This will get into spoilers for the novel- Traces of Two Pasts- so skip this post if you haven’t read/don’t like spoilers.)

   ToTP essentially spelled out the amount of damage “Aerith” did to the people around her, simply by being herself. Viewing canon alone, her mother went through great pain being an “Ancient”; Shinra demanded many things of her. Hojo treated her horribly, and Aerith, too. (Even though canon implies he hadn’t gotten his hands on her.....back then, anyways.)

   She’s been treated as a “freak” by other kids (Kyrie abandoned her when Aerith opened up about her powers) and had to work extra hard to be accepted, all because she is a Cetra.

   ToTP goes further. She used to have a scientist’s child for a playmate...until her powers awoke. They were then separated. Ifalna’s “tests” increased, causing her a great deal of pain. Aerith was forced to paint landscapes, in hopes they would lead to the “Promised Land” Shinra so sought; even at the cost of seeing her mother again. They separated her from Ifalna...and wouldn’t let them be together until Aerith provided ample landscape-art.

   This then lead into a field division being formed...and the price hundreds of people would end up paying. Most never making it back... Some becoming the very figures we see today: the robed clones.

   One escaped her cell and tried to strangle Aerith.

   Someone else managed to find her- after she and Ifalna ran away from Shinra, Ifalna dying from illness brought on by experiments- and nearly attacked her. In love with her mother, didn’t give up hope...to gain hold of even one of them.

   Constantly. Her powers have done little good. Perhaps the best they’ve ever done was bringing comfort from the Lifestream- Ifalna’s visits- and saving lives, on occasion. Telling Elmyra days before that her husband was gone- dead and sent back to the Lifestream- before Shinra could even pen the letter announcing the fact. (But even that, ToTP clarifies, wasn’t a good day. Elmyra was angry before she could become understanding.)

   And perhaps it wasn’t being a Cetra that got her mother killed or Zack, either. But Ifalna paid the price for being Cetra and wishing for freedom. Zack paid the same price, in trying to return home.

   The blue, freeing sky outside of Midgar’s steel-sky walls... It’s a dangerous place that spells doom for everyone she loves... Aerith herself included.

   Nearly all of her damn life has being an “Ancient” just been another word for “that means Shinra wants to own you, everyone either fears or wants your powers.” When has it ever been a good thing? Something to celebrate? These visions and nightmares in equal turn.

   ...And it’s a shame that- and I wonder if even she thinks about this- the one good thing she ended up doing... The one thing her powers let her do that did so much good...was use Holy and die.