#zero year edward nygma x reader

[riddle-me-ri]

Congrats on 500 followers Ri!!! You deserve all the love and support!! ヽ(⌒▽⌒)ﾉ

For the event, I know he's a little...restrained, but I was wondering how an Arkham Visit would go for Zero Year? Maybe from a psychiatrist or nurse instead of a friend? It's up to you!!!

Congrats again, 500 is a big number and it's awesome that you've got there!!!

A/N: Aww thank you so much Terri! I appreciate it! Ohhh, ooohhhh ZY Riddler would looveee a cute wee nurse to torment while he’s suspended in the air asddfgg

Word Count: 548

Zero Year/Capullo Riddler - Arkham Visit

It really is unfortunate for you that you’ve found yourself assigned to tend to Edward Nygma. A recently caught evil mastermind and terrorist that reduced the city of Gotham to a ghost of a city overrun by nature and a mad man. 

To say you were still somewhat resentful wouldn’t be entirely false. You try to undermine him, his persona, The Riddler.

Edward Nygma is just another patient. He’s just another patient in an endless list of patients; faces and identities you have encountered and have yet to encounter.

Edward leered. “Hello…nurse.” 

You could hear the slimy grin on his slimy face. 

“Afternoon, Mr. Nygma.” 

“Oh, so formal…you can call me Edward…and I’ll even permit you to call me Eddie.” 

“I’d rather keep it formal…Mr. Nygma.” You said his surname through barred teeth. 

Ed scoffed. “How disappointing…you’ll come around.” 

You rolled your eyes, you’ll come around when he’s in another facility.

Once your cart was set up, you walked over to where a steel lever stuck out of the wall. When you pulled it, it allowed Edward to lower down to the ground. 

“Tell me, how’s Gotham doing? Now that the citizens no longer have to face a battle of wits because Batman conveniently rescued them from using their brains?” 

“Gotham City’s doing much better.” You steal a short glance at him. “Thriving even.” You stated vehemently. 

“Oh please…thriving is a stretch.” 

“I’ll take it if it means I’m not cut off from the country.” You began prepping some gauze with antiseptic.

“I did stump Batman, even for a brief moment. I’ve done what others couldn’t!” 

He continued more enthusiastically, “think of it! All the different ideations! The different-”

“Mr. Nygma-”

I need you to shut up. “I can’t properly remove these stitches and disinfect the wound if you keep speaking.”

“Aren’t you capable to manage a moving patient?” 

“Aren’t you capable at following simple instructions?” 

You two locked eyes, waiting for the other to say their next quip. 

“What’re you going to do,” Edward grinned. “Gag me?”

You leaned back away from him. Appalled and agitated, but the offer was appealing. 

“If the patient requests…”

It was hard to keep down the chuckle in your chest at his surprised expression.

“Hm, funny. You do have a sense of humor…I knew you’d come around.” 

“Well, the alternative is I leave your bruises and sutures exposed, get infected, and cause much larger issues later for you. Maybe even cause some damage to that oh, so big brain of yours.” 

Probably could have omitted that last statement, but your patience was weakening.

A beat of silence. 

“So, you think I have a big brain?” 

“Mr. Nygma-”

“Edward…”

You groaned. “If you continue to obstruct my attempt to tend to you. I am authorized to sedate you.” 

“Oh…you wanna watch me sleep?”

You walked over silently to your cart and grabbed a syringe. 

“Fine! Just…do what you need to do.” 

You allowed your smile to grow proudly on your face. 

You put down the syringe. “Thank you…Edward.” 

The rest of procedure went off without a hitch, minus some miffs and grumbles from Edward. 

Riding high off the victory, as you left the room you looked back at Edward. 

Fully restrained and fully suspended up in the air. “Have a good night…Eddie.”

[finniestoncrane]

What if we choked on ZY Riddler's dick and it gives him a boost of confidence... Soft baby needs to know his body is gorgeous 🩷

Capullo!Riddler x GN!Reader, word count: 500 omg anon you are preaching to the choir with this one i am all here for boosting his confidence, stroking his ego and making him even more insufferable if that were even possible💚 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: oral sex, rough oral, choking, drool, praise kink

On your knees in front of him, you bobbed your head forward, swirling your tongue around the pink head of Eddie's cock. You tended to give it the most attention, not wanting to put too much focus on the shaft. You knew all too well that the less than average length was a source of embarrassment for Eddie. He had to be the best, and this was the one area he felt he was failing in.

It made no different to you, however. You preferred it. Eddie was intimidating enough in his status and intelligence. The last thing he needed was yet another stroke against his ever burgeoning ego.

And yet, you couldn't help yourself. You felt like he deserved to feel good about every part of him. So as you lapped your tongue against his slit, tasting the tang of his precum on your tastebuds, you decided to let him feel like the dominant one, despite the fact that he was under your complete control in his state of arousal.

Pushing your lips down and over the head, you followed down his shaft, pressing your nose into his abdomen, the tuft of unruly, red pubic hair tickling against you. His cock twitched in your mouth, as Eddie found himself surprised by your sudden change in tactics. With the slight movement, the head hit the back of your tongue, and you let out an exaggerated splutter, moaning against him as he trembled.

You eased off slightly and looked up at him, seeing the excitement in his eyes, and smiled around his cock as he brought his hand to the back of your head and pushed you down onto him.

He was filling your mouth completely, and you gagged against him, remembering to breathe through your nose, but happily allowing things to get as messy as they could to heighten the experience. As he bucked his hips, fucking your face in a rough frenzy, your drool coated your chin and his balls, matting his pubic hair as it sprayed from your mouth in a choked gasp.

Sliding your hands up his thighs, you stopped on his stomach and rested them there, pretending to hold him back from bucking into you, letting him revel in the idea that he was too much for you, that he had filled you up. And if you had been wondering if he was enjoying himself, the words he muttered as he pumped himself into your mouth to the hilt satisfied that query.

"I'm pretty amazing... aren't I?"

You couldn't answer, however. Your mouth was too full. His cock resting on your tongue, twitching as he coated your mouth with his cum, letting the taste of him travel down your scratched throat and soothe over it.

He kept it there, in your mouth, as he smiled happily. Pleased with himself, feeling very much like the 'big man' as he wiped some drool from your chin with his thumb, a tiny gesture of gratitude for what he knew was definitely your attempt at making him feel as good as he knew he deserved to.

[ilovetheriddler]

The Different Riddlers on a date at an amusement Park. Mini fic Scenarios.

Oh boy! That's a lot of riddle loving menaces! These are all short little mini fic scenarios centered around the idea of an amusement park date!

Word Count: 2,160.

Contents: Kissing, mentions of puking briefly, highly suggestive themes but nothing too explicit.

Gotham.

Just where had Ed wandered off to? You weren't quite sure, and it was honestly making you a bit worried. You knew how much he had been looking forward to this date, planning it months in advance to be just perfect, so the idea that he'd just leave without a word confused you.

You attempted to call his phone a few times, only to be met with his voice mail, where on earth had he run off to? You tried looking through the crowd for him and were starting to lose hope of finding him until you felt a hand grab your wrist and pull you along with them. By the time your mind fully registered that it was Edward, you were already sitting down, with a bar being lowered in front of you.

"E-Edward?! Where were you?"

"Huh? Oh! I was looking for the ferris wheel! I couldn't find anything about where it would be located on their website, so I wanted to find it as soon as we got here."

You let out a slightly surprised yelp as you felt yourself moving. As you saw the ground getting further and further away from your feet, you realized that you were on the ferris wheel. He had wandered off, found it, and dragged you to it after that. You couldn't help but chuckle.

"Ed, you could have just told me that when we first got here! Why were you so excited for the ferris wheel anyway?"

"Well... I thought it would be a pleasant experience! You know? I find the circular motion to be the perfect mixture of soothing and exciting, plus I get to be close to you... so there's that as well..."

He threw one of his arms around your shoulders and pulled you slightly closer before his lips met yours in a sweet and prolonged kiss.

Batman: The Animated Series.

Edward had been extremely pleased when he found out that there was a small arcade within the amusement park, nothing super fancy, just some older arcade cabinet games, but he was thrilled and you thought it was really sweet how clearly overjoyed he was.

He was currently on his third game, having already acquired the top scores on the previous two. They were puzzle games, which explained why the small little acarde section was practically a ghost town. Not too many people going to an amusement park were really going to play older puzzle games. But these were exactly the type of things that Edward loved.

"My dear! Look at that, I've bested yet another person's score. My skills at this are truly unrivaled."

"I can see that, I'm glad that you're having fun... I was honestly a bit worried that you might not enjoy coming here..."

"Nonsense! This is the most amusement that I've had outside of my own riddles in a long time!"

You couldn't stop yourself from giggling as he pulled you to sit on his lap as he continued playing away on the acarde games. You felt your face heat up slightly as he started kissing your neck gently.

"E-Edward! We're in public!"

"Don't worry, my dear, I'm not going to go too far, just a few kisses here and there.... and besides, there's not exactly anyone else in this specific section. Now, is there?"

His soft and just slightly mischievous laugh rang out right next to your ear as he continued his kisses on your neck and trailed them down to your shoulder.

Arkhamverse.

You had honestly thought that Edward would turn down your idea for an amusement park date, so when he did actually agree to go, you were incredibly excited..... Keyword being were... You genuinely loved Edward so much, but being slung around in a bumper car as he repeatedly slammed into other cars with enough force to almost give you whiplash wasn't exactly what you had in mind!

But you couldn't lie, seeing Eddie with that Grin on his face, cackling to the point where several people were onlooking with deep concern, was truly all it took to make it worth it. At least he was enjoying himself.

"Ahaha! These Imbecilic fools are no match for my excellent driving skills!!"

"....Eddie, your license has been revoked on several different occasions...."

"Only because of the fact that the people of Gotham city can't handle my superiority, so they try to restrict me!"

You continued to be swung around like a rag doll for another thirty minutes until the staff had received enough complaints and forcefully removed the two of you from the park. Going as far as to Ban Edward for life as a precaution. He wasn't pleased about it, not at all.

A few days later, you'd walked into his lair and found him frantically constructing his own version of the bumper cars, specifically to use in one of his traps for the caped crusader. You noticed a man tied to a chair on the other side of the room, the same man that had thrown you both out and banned him.

"Eddie...? Why exactly do you have that guy tied up?"

"It's very simple, I needed a guinea pig to test out my latest project!"

You knew that it was better to pick and choose your battles with Edward, so while you did feel sorry for the poor amusement park worker, it was late and you didn't want to argue over it, so you just went back to bed.

Telltale.

Edward had been on the fence about whether he actually wanted to join you on your trip to the amusement park. He wasn't exactly a young fellow anymore, so walking around all day didn't sound too pleasant. However, he did suppose that he should spend some time with you doing something that you wanted since you've been such a good assistant when it came to his plans.

So despite this being meant as a sort of reward for you, he didn't miss a single opportunity to complain about his joint pain and about how hot out it was, as if he hadn't willingly chosen to wear an outfit with a lot of layers. Luckily, though you didn't mind, you were used to Edward's complaints and were just glad that he was spending time with you.

Much to both your and his own surprise, he genuinely enjoyed the log flume of all rides, He could sit down and relax, and occasionally being splashed by the water made the heat slightly more bearable. He ended up going on that same ride a few times in a row before the two of you decided to take a small break on a bench nearby.

"So um... Thank you so much, Edward. I honestly didn't think that you'd even want to come here with me..."

".... I didn't originally intend to. However, I decided that you deserved a bit of my presence... as a reward for your recent work...."

You leaned against his shoulder, which seemed to throw him off slightly, before he quickly regained his composure and chuckled at the sight. He threw his arm around your shoulders and pulled you to lean in a bit closer before pressing a quick kiss onto your forehead.

2022 Batman.

Edward could hardly believe it when you told him that you wanted to take him out on a date to an amusement park. He'd never been to one before, so he was extremely excited! Not only because of the fact that he always wanted to do things like this as a child but couldn't, but because he'd be doing it with you, it'd be an actual date!

He was originally fairly nervous about the idea of how some of the rides would be, but once you both got there, he found himself having quite a pleasant time! Until you got to the Rollercoasters, then it went from a pleasant time to an amazing time! You were both screaming quite loudly while on them, but it was different for both of you. Edward had this look in his eyes, a look of unbridled gleefulness. He looked ecstatic as you both rode the Rollercoaster. In fact, he insisted on riding it another ten times!

You couldn't help but wonder if the reason why he was enjoying it so much had anything to do with the adrenaline his brain was producing as a result? Perhaps it was giving him a feeling that was somewhat similar to how his actions as the riddler made him feel? There was no way to be sure. He was overjoyed as you both got off the ride again. Unfortunately, you had to run over to the nearest trash can, feeling horribly queasy after being forced to endure a rollercoaster eleven times in a row. Edward looked extremely concerned as he approached you and started rubbing your back, attempting to help you through your nausea.

"A-are you alright, my dear? W-was that too many times? I'm so sorry if I overdid it...."

"...It's fine, Eddie. I'm just happy to see that you're enjoying yourself.... but yeah, after the seventh time, it might have been a bit much...."

Zero Year.

You were extremely skeptical and a bit cautious of wherever Edward was dragging you off to, He hadn't seemed all that interested in the amusement park a few minutes ago... what could he have possibly seen or stumbled upon to suddenly shift his mood so drastically?

You were even more confused when he stopped in front of a currently shut down maze of mirrors. You felt chills run down your spine as you glanced over at him to question what exactly he was planning, only to see that mischievous look in his eyes... whatever it was wasn't good if he had that look in his eyes, you could at least say that for certain.

He wandered inside, and you followed behind him. Just what was he planning? After walking for a few minutes, you started to grow frustrated. Perhaps he simply did this to annoy and inconvenience you. You turned around to say something but stopped dead in your tracks as you saw him unbuttoning his suit jacket before tossing it on the ground.

"E-Edward? W-what on earth are you doing?!"

He slowly stepped closer to you, a sly grin plastered on his face as he leaned in closer to you.

"Oh, come on.... there's no one around, and I'd truly be a fool not to take advantage of all of these... mirrors, wouldn't I, my dear?"

"Excuse me?! I bring you to an amusement park, and your first idea is to have sex in a shutdown maze of mirrors?!"

He disregarded his shirt on top of his suit jacket before moving on to unbuckle his belt. His breath drifted across your ear as he lowered his voice to sultry whisper.

"Precisely.... Don't lie to me and say that you aren't the least bit aroused by the idea...?"

The bad thing is that he wasn't wrong.... and that bothered you more than anything else.

Unfortunately, the two of you ended up being banned for life once a worker who was cleaning up the area stumbled upon you two in the throes of passion. Edward seemed unbearably smug, though. Even as you were both thrown out.

Young Justice.

Edward was overjoyed by your invitation to go to the amusement park together, it would be your and his first ever official date, and he was confident that it would be perfect... alright, maybe not fully confident, somewhat confident... he wasn't actually confident, that was a lie, he was deeply worried about something screwing up the entire date.

So he kept his eyes open, watching the area with a keen eye, he'd let this date be ruined over his dead body! As the date contained on there seemingly wasn't any major issues... Until he realized that there was a tunnel of love here and that you really wanted to go on it with him.

He was ultimately unable to say no, so the two of you got on the ride, sat down in those stupid little boats, and started floating along the long, dimly lit corridor. Actually.... the atmosphere would be absolutely perfect for stealing a few kisses from you. Yes, it'd be perfect!

He put his previous concerns behind him as he grabbed you suddenly and slammed his lips against yours, an intense passion behind the kiss. It lasted a few seconds before he pulled away to catch his breath, only to then reconnect them again and again. It was everything he had hoped that it would be. However, then the ride stopped suddenly, and he was sent falling off the boat and into the water, soaking his clothes.

"Damn it!! C-can't those idiots run a ride correctly?!"

"Are you alright, Eddie? That was quite a sudden fall...."

You helped him back onto the boat, but now he felt that his pride was damaged slightly, so he just sat there and sulked in his drenched suit, his favorite suit!

[acapelladitty]

Edward Nygma/Transmasc Reader: Show and Tell 📹

Summary: Camera in hand, Edward sets out to show the absolute best of his favourite little pet. (warnings for: petplay/bdsm/deepthroating)

The blinking red light of the recorder makes you shiver as you remain on all fours, the frayed carpet pressing against your knees and fingers. A thick leather collar hugs your neck, the latches pulled as tight as possible without affecting your breathing, and the rings which hang off the front and back feel somehow heavier than usual as they lay against your skin.

"Turn yourself around, pet. Show the good people the best parts of you."

Edward's smug tone, laced with arousal as he stands behind the camera and guides your actions, is belied by the rock hard cock tenting his green slacks with undeniable interest.

Flushing with humiliation, you slowly turn in place until your ass is pointing directly at him and you head dips lowly as you present yourself like breeding stock at an auction house. The fat plug which is hollowing out your ass, its earlier entry stealing the breath from your lungs with the sheer girth of it, has a short tail attached and you feel it sticking up as you clench around the plug.

Your other hole feels painfully neglected, arousal making it drip untouched as your little cock aches with every soft jostle of your body. Edward had insisted on pumping you up to maximum capacity until your cock was painfully hard and as engorged as possible - with even the slightest touch making your knees jerk and thighs quake.

"He's a practised little pup." Edward continued, focusing the camera in on your most sensitive flesh. "Both holes are trained to perfection and able to offer a fine experience for any owner."

You statle in place as Edward's fingers press against the tail, forcing the plug half an inch deeper into your stretched hole.

"Depth training is underway and will be thoroughly explored with more time. Girth training as you can see-"

Edward tugs the tail from your ass, slowly pulling free the plug until the widest part is stretching the sensitive rim of your ass. It's painful but with that oddly satisfying edge that comes with such discomfort and you grit your teeth and moan as your hole remains distended as he speaks.

"- is well underway. This particular pup enjoys the sensation of having their ass stretched and it's a useful reward or corrective tool when deployed with precision."

He pushes the tail back in slightly and your greedy hole swallows it back in an instant - the fullness welcomed as the familiar ache of being stretched settles your racing heart. Cool fingers drop to ghost along your hole and your legs spread even wider to encourage him as he coats his fingers with your arousal.

"He also does tricks to a high standard. For example. Sit."

Humiliated as heat flares across your exposed skin, you follow his command; turning to face him and sitting flat on your ass as your knees draw in. The movement jostles the plug and you bite your lip as you glance up at him. His drawn features are still mostly hidden by the camera, a cheap handheld recorder that adds a delicious sleaziness to proceedings as he films you, and you can tell from how animated his movements are that he's enjoying himself.

"Speak." He says, smug as hell.

"Please let me suck your cock, Sir. Please? I need your cock." You rattle off, tilting your head at him and rolling your ass against the floor to agitate the plug. "Please?!"

"Not the smartest pup though," Edward frowned, his free hand coming to grip at your chin as his arousal-coated fingers press against your tongue, "because I don't recall asking you to beg."

Rolling your tongue along his fingers, the tang of your juices fills your mouth and you swallow it down with a blissful smile. Clenching your cunt around nothing, you bow your head as much as you can.

"Sorry, Sir. I just need your cock so badly."

"And what kind of irresponsible owner would I be if I didn't meet your needs? Come."

Adjusting yourself to crawl forward a few places, you pause in front of his legs and return to a seated position. Mouthing his bulge with your lips, you moan as he quickly frees himself and allows you to press your face against his hard length, your nose nuzzling against the familiarity of it.

"A fantastic and eager cocksucker, if his warm holes don't appeal then his throat is always ready to accept whatever you throw at it. Show the nice people, pet. Show them just how talented that sweet mouth is."

You relax your mouth and throat before quickly accepting him past your lips. His cock holds within your mouth for a moment before settling into a slow rhythm, every slight thrust of his hips pushing his cock a little closer to the back of your throat and he warms you up. Hands wrapped around his legs to steady yourself, you position your heel so that it's pressing on your hole.

Rocking in position to suck down his cock, the pressure of your heel against your hole alleviates some of the ache there and, as his pace picks up and shakes your frame more, you find that there's just enough purchase to graze your engorged clit.

Delighted, you focus on pleasing him as a distraction to prevent him from seeing your little attempt as self-pleasure but it's a futile effort as his free hand brutally pulls at your hair to force your head up to look at him.

"Naughty pup. What kind of animal uses their own disgusting foot for pleasure? Does it feel good, hmm? Tell the people how nice it feels to fuck your own holes with your heel."

"Feels good." You whine out. "This pup fucks itself with whatever its master tells it to."

"And sometimes things he doesn't." Edward added but his tone was devoid of any real anger as his cock bobs before your mouth once more. "Do you know why I'm filming this, pup?"

Your lips having wrapped around his cock once more, you shake your lack of knowledge as you massage his cockhead with your tongue.

"I want to show everyone how good you are for me. How well trained. How all it takes to turn a respectable man into a cockdrunk, obedient pet that will do anything his master asks is time and patience."

His thrusts are becoming more erratic and you can feel that he's nearing his release as his cock pushes down your throat roughly.

"Three willing holes and a body which exists to serve and please. A video like this will make you a lot of interested friends who will want to come and play with you themselves. A good pet deserves quality breeding after all, and maybe they'll have some pets of their own for you to play with."

The idea is heady and you shudder against his cock at the thought of servicing his friends. He could blindfold you, have you laid out for anyone to test out and use as they saw fit. Allow them to use all three of your holes and stretch you out until the tears flowed and your head was so fuzzy with pleasure that nothing else mattered.

"I could have you tied down, your collar locked to my thigh so that you have no choice but to hold my cock in your mouth as your body is put to good use by my friends- ahh."

His free hand pressing against the back of your head, his release hits as he finishes speaking, and you can feel his seed as it pulses down your throat into your unprepared stomach. Unable to breathe, you fight off the familiar panic as you focus on swallowing around him to milk every droplet of his release.

As a good pet should.

Quickly, he pulls free and you splutter and cough with as much dignity as possible, your heel moving frantically against your hole as you seek out your own release. But he's quick to recover and he ignores his own softening cock to kick at your foot, pushing it away.

"Maybe you do deserve a treat, pup." He comments, dragging the camera down to catch just how plump your lips are and the residual moisture which is still gathering in your eyes. "I think your lovely fans might like to see just how beautiful you are when you're overstimulated and screaming for mercy."

Dropping to his haunches, his fingers are quick to pinch at your hardened clit - the excessive pumping still leaving it engorged and very sensitive. After such neglect, the simple pinch is almost too much and you whine again as he rolls his fingers across it.

"Hmm, yes. Lie back and spread your legs. I'll place the camera on the floor and we'll show off just how vocal my favourite little pup can be."

[estuporious]

Riddler: Riddle me this, bitch.

Y/N: ¿Can we talk about my day?

Riddler: Fuck your day.

[d-apperc-adaver]

Batman Writers of tumblr do you have any ideas how to make the Riddler bot be more…accurate?

[make-your-own-evil]

could I request hcs for BTAS, arkham, and capullo riddler with an easily flustered s/o?

absolutely!

note: feel free to reblog and comment! just give credit where credit is due :)

Riddlers with easily flustered S/O!

BTAS! Riddler:

ohhh look how cute you look!

maybe part of the reason you guys got together?

this guy gets pretty flustered too, i mean cmon weve all seen the episode where he was called cute

feel free to hide your red face in his coat, he will eat that up

chuckling and rubbing circles on your back

his teasing you wont ever be done in a malicious way! he just thinks youre so darling when youre face is red and you stumble over your words

if you tell him that makes you insecure or you dont really like it when he points it out, he would understand. if not, he will revel in how flustered you get

no one is to tease you about it except for him >:(

Arkham Knight! Riddler:

this greasy bastard would probably be the most mean about it at first

he thinks that it would be a sign that youre stupid even though he gets flustered himself

im just going to leave this here...

why are you having trouble speaking? why are you hiding your face? are you an idiot?

the further you get into your relationship the less intense he will be when you get flustered

he has been flustered and he has also been downright humiliated, he knows how it feels so its something he has to keep in mind now

eventually he may find it cute...

okay fine maybe he thinks its pretty adorable

Capullo! Riddler:

this little shit

he revels in your flustered state. he will exploit it and show it off to as many people as possible

he would probably do one of those "aww what has you so flustered?" in a very degrading tone of voice

"use your words" type bitch

makes you look him in the eye without breaking eye contact

i imagine that he would make it into some sort of game. if you keep your eyes on his, if you speak without stuttering, etc.

he also probably takes it as a sign that youre less intelligent than him

he may be nicer about it down the line? again he would totally be the type to exploit this side of you

[sweetlikehoneystingslikeabee]

These are for Riddlers (Gotham, BTAS, Capullo, Arkham)

He has a crush on another villain henchwoman, they got along pretty well. Unfortunately her boss is sleazy so when they're having a conversation he goes to her and slaps her ass saying it's time to go back to work. It's visible she's trying very much to not slap him in the face.

"Unprofessional" Gotham, BTAS, Capullo, Arkham x f!reader

Reading this prompt I felt my gut clench and my brain go 🔪

Gotham

- "Excuse you, yes, excuse YOU, sir. You need to apologize. Now."

- He's going to verbally tear this boss a new one. Why it's disgusting, why he should be ashamed, why it's unprofessional-

- If the boss gives him any lip or aggression, Edward seemingly laughs it off before shooting him. Can't teach stupid, he supposes!

- He looks at the body. Then at you. Flushing. Well. This is awkward. Do you need a new job? He could give you a new job.

- Mentally, he figures, crush on you, you work for him, you see how lovely he is and then you fall in love! Win-win for everyone! It's logical!

- Maybe he could even get you some sort of uniform that matches his aesthetic... You two could be hot and MATCHING. Would you let him dress you?

- If you don't want to work for him, he might look a little hurt but! He's understanding! Just because you care about someone doesn't mean you'd work well together, after all.

- He does politely and calmly threaten whoever the new boss is by telling them what happened when the last one got fresh with you. A riddle and a smile. Don't fuck with his crush.

Btas

- He's asking you to leave the room. His expression is dark. Much more serious than you'd come to expect from him. He's gripping his cane tight.

- Even if you get close to the door, you can't hear much. Voices are angry but low. You might be able to make out your name before footsteps are rapidly approaching the door.

- "Come along, dear." He tells you curtly, "I can't in good conscience leave you with such a moronic brute." He seems very ruffled as he stands there.

- Your boss is already following him out, telling him to mind his business. Some misogynistic nonsense about that being why he hired you. That you should be grateful-

- Edward turns to your boss, almost hissing, "And YOU should be grateful that you're not the next subject of my devices. Perhaps you'd like a closer look at my newest inventions?"

- Your boss is quiet. He gulps. Edward huffs before holding out his hand to you.

- He's patting your arm as you walk out, "I apologize for losing my temper. I couldn't let him treat you that way. Anyone-" His face flushes.

- If you gave him a kiss on the cheek, he'll go red up to the ears.

Capullo/Zero Year

- You notice the smile disappear off his face. His eyes are cold. Calculating. Thinking of every scenario and ending. The smile reappears.

- He turns to you, "How would you like to make double what you do now?" It's a job offer. When your boss panics and tells him, he can't just do that- Edward barks a laugh, "Of course I can."

- You accept. It's not exactly a difficult decision. He goes on to praise you, saying that he was meaning to snatch you away anyways (a lie only he knows). You're intelligent, witty, capable, hard working- not to mention pleasant on the eyes (not a lie).

- He continues to your now-ex boss, "Did you know traditionally, under certain laws of the world, theft was punishable by amputation of the hands? I just remembered that right now, as I saw you touching something that was mine and not yours. How funny."

The boss panics, "You trying to threaten me, Nygma? She was still my employee when I-"

"Oh, please." Edward rolls his eyes, "Don't confuse this for some two-bit villainous monologue. I'm telling you plainly: touch her again and you lose an appendage. Consider the warning a symbol of my gracious and forgiving nature."

- and there he is, offering his arm to you as if he didn't almost gleefully promise a man bodily harm in your honor. If you hesitate, he grins wider, "Fear not, I would never cut off such pretty hands for gracing me with your touch."

- You can't help but roll your eyes and take his arm. He looks so smug and proud of himself.

Arkham

- He's actually not saying anything at first. You can sense he disapproves but he waits for you to make a move. If you did slap your boss, he would absolutely be at your side with an electrical stun device to protect you from retaliation.

- Otherwise, he's going to make some snarky comment such as, "Did you really call me here just to show off your hormone-addled business practices? Do you actually do work here or just sexually harass your employees?" Something not outright confrontational (for him), but definitely showing that the boss shouldn't do that again.

- Yet as he watches you walk away, he feels his fingers twitching, aching to work. To tell you how you deserve better than some machismo beast who can't even rub two brain-cells together as he apparently can his pathetic, minuscule-

- The more he thinks on it long after, in fact, the more anger he feels. Lots of rambling and raving to himself in his workshop until he has to stop what he was truly working on to begin a new project. A form of retribution to those who can't keep their hands to themselves.

- The next time you see your boss, he's got multiple broken, bandaged fingers and an apology for you. If you're particularly observant, you can see a discarded riddler trap in the trash can. Bloodied. Some kind of note- you can only guess the contents.

- You, on the other hand, have one "anonymous" metal rose waiting for you somewhere you'll find it. The welding is a little messy, but the petals are smoothly curved. For someone so intent on shouting his prowess all the time, his tender feelings are surprisingly... quiet.

[rae-raewrites]

Could I request yandere Zero year riddler hcs?

Also love your writing!!

Thank you anon! Also geez the bratty riddle boi ok……😂

Yandere zero year riddler hc’s

Warning:yandere behavior,kidnapping,forced affection,love bombing,death

He totally starts to obsess over you while at his job at Wayne. The cute little secretary Phillip occasionally brings along with him.

Of course that’s all he thought you were for awhile,the help,a cute little pair of eyes that mange the old man’s paperwork.

Oh how wrong he was~

When he actually starts talking and learning more about you he’s enamored.

The pretty eyes he comes to find out have a brain behind them,a very interesting brain

The few times he’s taken you out for coffee were pretty much how every inch of his obsession grew

You become his new little research side project on top of his list.

So when his little assassination attempt goes awry and Phillip is on the floor his little resignation slightly pisses him off,this won’t be good in your eyes but I’ll be fine

I mean the way he looks at it,your going to want him when you see what he can do.

Power out across Gotham and the with zero year kicked off cleanly leaving a Batman embarrassed he decides to finally extend his invitation out to you

“(Y/n)! Darling! Sweetheart! I mean come on! No electricity,no access to a nice clean,warm shower….why settle for less than the best?”

The asswipe appears on YOUR TV in YOUR HOUSE. Totally unabashedly trying to show you all the good he can be to you.

So when you via the nature of common sense tell him no he has to go to other……….. opportunities

Opportunities like stealing you away when nobody’s looking in the middle of the sea wall breaking like he’s Apollo returning the sun in your world,of course that’s not it all

By all means this quickly turns into a phantom of the opera situation of him bringing you into his own little slice of hell

Mock dinner dates full of love bombing and forcing you near him only to get pissy when you don’t return the affection.

Handcuffing you down when you try to be a brat.

“(Y/n) gorgeous,your apart of one of the most intelligent species on the planet and your choosing to act foolish?”

The get smart or die rule applies to you a little differently. In your case it’s be smart and you don’t cause anyone else to die.

He’s certainly not above adding some more danger to zero year if you can’t behave.

He absolutely makes it entertainment to watch during the first few months when people try to outsmart him.

See? You deserve to be around a genius sweetie~

So when he DOES get sent to Arkham there’s a moment of relief followed by the dread of nothing stopping him from coming back and scooping you up all over again

[pompous-puffed-up-penguin]

Good Girl (Zero Year!Riddler/Fem!Reader)

AO3 mirror

AN: Okaaaaaaay, I read Zero Year and yeah, I hate this guy. So obviously I had to write a fic for him. It’s a kind of therapy, I swear.

Word Count: 1,804

CW: Pet Play, Master/Pet, Mildly Dubious Consent, Blow Job, Cane Play (is that a thing? It is now), Doggy Style (hehehe)

“There. A perfect fit.”

Edward leans back with a smirk, looking at the emerald-green collar he was ‘so kind’ to get you around your neck. It was bad enough he deemed you ‘worthy enough’ to be by his side while the rest of Gotham was suffering under his rule. That’s what you get for being decent to the social outcast at work. Sure, you didn’t have to worry about basic necessities like food and water, but when The Riddler was bored, it was your job to entertain him. And lately, that has gotten more physical than just his games and puzzles.

“It’s a good color on you. You know, the human eye is able to detect more shades of green than any other color.”

You simply nod. You’ve learned that back-talking him was a quick and painful way to get to the finish line.

“It’s not too tight, is it?”

You start to shake your head, but your gaze is pushed back to him as his cane gently touches your cheek.

“Not sure I like this silent treatment you’re giving me today. You haven’t forgotten to speak, have you? Come on, you haven’t been locked in here with me that long.”

Fine, you can talk. It’s just that you really don’t know what he wants you to do.

“Is it not simple enough to understand?” He leans forward, his voice dripping with acid. “Is your brain so atrophied to the point you can’t make the connection? This,” the cane moves to the collar, hooking onto the silver ring at the front, “is a symbol. Our symbol. Representing what you are to me, and what I am to you.”

If he’s suggesting what you think he’s-

Your reply is cut off by a sudden yank from his cane, and you stumble forward, instinctively reaching your arms forward to catch yourself on Edward’s chair. Regaining your balance, you find yourself looking down at him, your hands on his shoulders, your chest only a couple inches away from his face. Blood rushes to your cheeks as he grins, that shit-eating grin that aggravates you whenever he flashes it.

“Aw, you poor thing. I yanked too hard, didn’t I? Promise you won’t call the humane society?”

Laughing at his idea of a joke, Edward unhooks the cane, letting you take a step back. And as you do so, you take a deep breath in an attempt to keep yourself from being too flustered. He probably just wants his dick sucked again, right? Fine, you’ve done this enough times to know what he likes, and then you can have this silly collar off.

Edward shakes his head when he sees you approach him and lowering yourself to your knees. “Mm-mm, not yet. The whole image is still wrong."

What is he talking about? He’s made his point, he’s the owner and you’re his dog.

“Ah, but you don’t see what needs to be fixed.” He leans forward, so close that you can smell how heavy his cologne is, how it almost makes you choke. And he mutters in your ear. “Dogs don’t wear clothes. And I’m not a middle-aged woman looking to play dress-up with her living doll, so strip.”

There’s something about his voice when he gets this close to you. It vibrates through your nerves, and you have to hold back a shudder. You bite your lower lip as Edward leans back, resting his head on his hand and looking at you expectantly.

Damn it, you really thought you were going to get this over with quickly. He really wants to draw this out for as long as he can this time. With a sigh, you take off your shirt and throw off your jeans, leaving you in your underwear.

"Get those off, too."

Yeah, wow, maybe if he was a little more patient, he would see that you were taking off your bra right now.

He raises an eyebrow. "And you know dogs don't talk, right?"

You glare at him as your bra falls to the floor, and your panties join them too. He's the one who berated you for being silent before. But no matter how many times you've been naked in front of Edward, it still makes you feel vulnerable. He gazes at you, as if looking for a crack in your defenses, and gestures downwards. "Now you may come."

Finally, you can actually get to the main event. On your knees in front of him again, you reach for his belt buckle. But he snatches your wrist before you can get close enough to it. "What are you doing?"

You open your mouth to explain yourself, but quickly remember the 'no talking' rule. So you simply frown up at him, confused.

"I really need to spell everything out for you, don't I? Dogs have paws."

Ah, so that's how it's going to be.

"But since you were so eager to have my cock in your mouth before, I'll be kind enough to give you what you want. If," he taps your chin upward with his cane, "you beg for it."

You think for a moment. What do dogs do when they want something? As soon as you get an idea, you put it to action. You blink, enough times to create the illusion of watery eyes and look up at Edward. With your manufactured sad look, you lean your cheek towards his groin, even rubbing up against the bump that had formed there.

A gentle hand rests on your head as Edward, your 'owner', smirks down at you. "That's more like it."

Now for the cherry on top. You have to swallow your pride first, but you begin to whimper, staring up at him like an abused puppy. The leather of his pants scratches at your cheek as you continue rubbing along his erection, and you even let your tongue hang out, much to his amusement.

"Hm. This is a very good look for you. I should have done this earlier." His other hand reaches for his belt buckle and he begins to undo it. "Alright. Puppy gets her treat."

As soon as his cock springs free, you wrap your lips around the tip, roughly circling it with your tongue. The gasp it elicits from Edward is so satisfying, especially as you slowly take more in your mouth, sucking and licking with ferocity. You can see his thighs tremble from the sudden stimulation, and his strained breathing as he tries to keep his cool spurs you on.

“Slow…Fuck!” He throws his head back, covering his face with his hand as he groans. You live for moments like this, when he doesn’t have the strength to make any remarks or comments. Moments like this send a rush through you, like lightning striking at your senses. If you didn't know better, you would say these spurts of adrenaline were addicting.

Unfortunately, he eventually does find the strength to grab your hair and pull you off of him, leaving behind a trail of drool and precum. You both take this opportunity to catch your breath, and Edward is the first to recover.

“You,” he growls, wiping off his drool from the corner of his lip, “really play the role of slobbering mongrel well.” He grabs his cane again and makes a twirling motion with his finger. “Turn around and present yourself.”

Heat rises to your cheeks again. Slowly, knowing any hesitation will prompt another snarky comment from the Riddler, with your hands and knees on the floor, you raise your bottom up to him. And as soon as you do, something cold and metal rubs up against your lips, drawing a gasp at the sensation. You keep your head down, using your arms to cover your mouth as Edward's cane drags up and down along your sex.

"You pretend so hard that you hate this," you hear him purr, "but your body always betrays you. Look how wet you are."

The cane presses into you harder, and you stifle a whine at the shock through your nerves. It lingers on your clit, rubbing it in clumsy circles that make you twitch and moan.

Behind you, you hear footsteps as Edward gets up and approaches you, keeping the cane pressed down. "In heat, aren't you? Poor little bitch." He laughs, finally putting the cane down and letting it fall with a clang. But you're not escaping, as he grabs your hips to keep you still while he finds a comfortable position. Your breath freezes in your throat as you feel the tip of his cock tease at your entrance. "Let me help with that."

A sudden thrust of his hips, and you're seeing stars as you cry out, suddenly assaulted by a cocktail of pain and pleasure as you're split open. You feel your walls tremble, and your hands claw at the floor, trying to find something, anything to grip onto to brace yourself.

"Oops. Slipped."

Bullshit. You can practically hear the smirk in his voice. Keeping your hips in place, he slams into you again, and again, leaving you with very little time to recover between each attack. Struggling and gasping for air, you rest your cheek against the cold, hard floor, losing the strength to control your voice as your moans echo through the room.

"God, why," he grunts, "are you always so...tight?"

Sweat drips onto your back, mixing and pooling with your own as you cum on his cock. But he either doesn't notice or doesn't care, because he still continues his torturous pace. But eventually, his breathing becomes heavier with each thrust, and you know he's reaching his breaking point. You reach your third one at this point, mind going blank as you coat him with your juices.

Suddenly, he pulls out, leaving your pussy sopping wet, trailing cum down your thighs and dripping onto the floor. As you gasp and cry out from the sudden removal, you freeze as something warm and sticky falls onto your back. Edward groans and growls as he releases his orgasm on top of you, watching the trails shoot over your back. You swear you can even feel one of them reach the back of your head and into your hair. Once everything has been released, the two of you both stop to catch your breath, and Edward gives one last squeeze of your hips before letting go. Free of his grip, your knees give out and you fall to the floor, shuddering from the barrage of stimulation.

"Good girl." Edward mumbles as he gently touches your shoulder, trailing up to your cheek and brushing it with his thumb. He bends down and kisses your forehead before whispering in your ear. "Get yourself cleaned up. And keep the collar on. We're not done playing yet."

[riddle-me-ri]

BTAS, Arkham, ZY Riddler S/O has trust issues and doesn't really do flavors for rogue unless he can give something back. When they're more serious he finds out it's because she gave her ex a kidney since he was sick and he still cheated on her later.

I'm actually not making this up, some girl shared her story on TikTok and everyone was asking if she can get refund.

A/N: Oh no, I know you’re not making it up, lol. I’ve seen that EXACT TikTok, it’s so fckin’ terrible that happened. I was just thinking it as I read your rq and then you confirmed it, when I was like “isn’t that a tiktok?” I don’t blame her if she developed trust issues after that. I have trust issues when my ex admitted he didn’t actually mean it when he said he “loved me” the last four months of our relationship…no one out here is safe! Also I wrote these as headcanons cause they sorta came to my head as headcanons…I hope that’s okay. The ideas just seem sorta cut short to be turned into drabbles, but if it reads awkward I can change it…

Trigger Warnings: none really, other than some sleaziness on Zero Year Riddler, but that should be the norm by now

Riddlers x F!Reader - Trust Issues

Batman The Animated Series Riddler: 

Eddie was content with how things worked in your relationship. You helped him when he needed gear for his contraptions or needed an upgrade in the latest technology, and he rightfully compensated you for it. Whether that was with money or information from highly secured corporations.

Suffice it to say, the Riddler wasn’t expecting to catch feelings for you, but he was very impressed with your vast knowledge. You were like him and had a sponge for a brain and you wanted to know more. Plus you were pretty good at his riddles. 

He was taken aback by your hesitant response, but was happy you accepted his invitation to develop a more intimate relationship. However, even with this new development you were insistent that his services come with a price. 

“If I fix this for you, Ed what do I get out of it?” You asked examining a busted trap mechanism in one of his false toys. 

Edward blinked in confusion. Romantic relationships were new to him, but he was fairly certain people that cared for each other did things for one another because…they cared. 

“My dear, I…I must say I-I don’t know…I thought you could do it to help me…because you care about me? Am I wrong in that assumption?” 

You sighed exhaustedly. You really didn’t want to bring it up, but it was only fair. Edward was so patient and kind to you. Thoughtful, gentle, and leagues smarter than your ex.

“I-I’m sorry Eddie…um…I-I just..it’s hard for me to do a favor and not make sure I get something in return, because I gave something to someone I loved and I can never get it back..”

Edward’s eyes furrowed in concern. “May I ask…what favor did you provide them?” His eyes practically widened into tea saucers when you told him you gave your ex one of your kidneys so they could have life changing surgery, only for them to cheat on you not long after they recovered.

Ed lifted your chin so you could look him in his green eyes. With a single finger he wiped away the small droplets of tears that fell from your eyes. 

“My darling, Y/N…my sweet, intelligent, brilliant, Y/N…I-I would never, ever take advantage of you, your skill, your heart, and…y-your organs.” He smiled sheepishly. You couldn’t help but giggle. 

“I know there’s nothing I can do to get your kidney back, but I can promise you. I will never take you for granted. And I’ll protect you and your heart from anyone that tries to use you.”

Arkhamverse Riddler:

Needless to say you both have trust issues. 

After his falling out with Catwoman, it was hard for him to trust another thief, but he would be a fool not to utilize one. He may be a genius but he was aware that subtlety and sneakiness weren’t his forte.

Therefore he enlisted you to help him. You got whatever materials, valuables, information he wanted and he paid you tenfold than what you would make from other rogues. “As ever generous as I am brilliant, you should thank me, most would kill to get to work for me!” 

Yeah right, like you’d do something for someone just for posterity sake. Even when the two of you got closer. Despite his protests, you checked on him occasionally even if there wasn’t a job for you. 

You meddled in his projects and assisted him, not that he’d ever outright gratify your support and presence…deep down he did begin to appreciate you. He looked forward to seeing your face and hearing your voice. It kept what little sanity he had left grounded to something tangible. 

Because of this, he has made attempts to open up as did you. However neither of you did something for the other, not without certainty there was compensation for it. 

“I don’t see why I have to do something in return? Ha! I thought you actually cared about me…” Edward tried not to sound defeated at that last statement, but he failed. 

“Because last time I did something for someone I cared about I had something taken I can’t get back!” You snapped. 

“Oh, please. I was foolish to trust an ally like Catwoman and she stole every penny to my name and destroyed everything I worked and slaved over!”

“I gave my kidney to my terminally ill partner and they cheated on me!” You almost screeched, hot tears dripping down your face.

Edward dropped the screwdriver he was using on a circuit board. He turned back around on his workstool to look at you. 

“I-I…uh…wasn’t expecting that..” He cringed. 

“Yeah, well…neither did I..” You crossed your arms, but not before wiping your nose and eyes with your sleeves. 

Edward gulped. He didn’t know much about romantic partnerships but…he knew enough to know he screwed up. He just had no idea how to fix it. He took off his gloves and his goggles and made his way towards you.

“I-I…I’m not sure what to say, but…I can assure you I would never ask for anything more than you’re willing to do. I would never ask you to give up..an organ…besides my brain is already finely tuned to the skeleton, muscle, and intestinal structures of my body.”

You quirked your eyebrow at him. He shrugged with a tight smile. You couldn’t help but chuckle, that’s as best of a reassurance you were going to get out of him. Even for an egomaniac like him, that wasn’t so bad, you could believe his word. 

Zero Year/Capullo Riddler:

Okay so, like, you shouldn’t trust this man. Like period. 

I mean, you kinda can because he’s blunt and honest, he won’t lie to you for the most part. Unless he's manipulating you, but that's beside the point...

You were the cute new rogue on the block. You were revered in the underworld for your vast hacking capabilities. Anything and anyone from Wayne Enterprises, Daily Planet, Lex Corps. You were impressive. 

Of course any person with that skill wouldn’t sell their expertise for free. Ed was willing to compensate you for your services and the information you gathered for him. However, it didn’t take long for him to take a more carnal interest in you. 

You weren’t budging on the proposition. “No thanks, Nygma.” 

“Aw, c’mon, don’t be like that…I’ll make it worth your while!”

“Somehow I don’t believe that, what exactly do I get out of this…arrangement?” 

Edward looked at you rather puzzled. A quirk to his brow and a sly grin, his hands went down to his waist and he dragged them up to his chest. He repeated this motion, gesturing that he was the great prize to be hold. 

You blinked uninterested, but not before you muttered. “Right, I’ve already given a kidney to an asshole that cheated on me, like I’m gonna give you my body…”

“I’ll have you know…wait what?” 

“Yeah, my last…intimate relationship, I gave them my kidney so they could have life altering surgery. They cheated on me not long after they recovered.” Your eyes darted between your computer screen and your feet. Not sure what moved you to indulge Edward to such personal information. 

“Damn, um, look…I-I like you, anything we do between you and I, I intend to make it mutually beneficial for both of us.”

“So you respect my decision to decline? Since you like me?”

“Sure, doll, you should know by now there’s nothing I love more than a puzzle.” He winked and you proceeded to cringe, but not without smiling fondly.

[finniestoncrane]

Almost There

Capullo!Riddler x Fem!Reader, word count: 4k commission: eddie desperately trying to get someone to like him, but failing a bit miserably before he starts succeeding, as he was always bound to 💚 commission me here! request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: whiny/desperate eddie, teensy bit of angst

With a sigh of resignation, Eddie looked out of his window on to the streets of Gotham below. People, like ants, below the feet of a God they didn’t even know they worshipped yet. But he could take very little joy in that usually comforting fact, as he knew there was one ant of great subordination who refused to bend to his will. And that was despite knowing everything he could offer them in exchange for their undying and unquestioning devotion.

No amount of anything he had would fix this situation. This was him now. He was stuck. Edward Nygma. Stuck. Stuck on a puzzle, on a question, on a task, for which there seemed to be no possible outcome for. Or at least, not one that he deemed reasonable, not one that he would be happy with. Which, after all, in the mind of the Riddler, was not the correct answer at all.

The phone he clutched in his hand was quickly tossed onto the nearest surface. It was just a hopeless distraction at this point. A symbol of futility. Of his seeming failure.

Eddie’s fingers were getting tangled in his fringe. The greasy strands of his usually neatly swept back shock of red hair were getting caught as he twisted and pulled at them. Teasing at them nervously, he paced around his pre-furnished, and entirely impersonal, apartment. Looking at the extravagant wall clock he sighed and groaned, letting it form a soft growl as he ripped a few extra strands of his hair out in his closed and trembling fists. He was thankful for the thick, soundproof walls in this building. It meant he could talk, or groan, or yell, to himself as loudly as he wanted without fear of anyone hearing his plans. Or his pathetic whining.

“How long does it take someone to answer a text? Is she really that stupid? And if she’s that dull and so incapable of typing a message out, do I really want to be associated with her?”

His self-serving insults regarding your intelligence only helped to make him feel worse about himself. You were perfect. Beautiful, but in a way he’d never really seen before. Interesting, more so than any other woman he’d bothered giving the time of day or willingly chose to get to know. And you weren’t stupid. In fact, you seemed scarily competent and able to hold your own against him. Which he hated.

Another thirty seconds of anxious pacing, as he wondered what could possibly keep someone busy for this long. It wasn’t as if you could have anything important to do. Or anything more important than responding to his message. You weren’t him, after all. He was the busy one, the important one, the mastermind genius that had barely had time to focus on anything but himself. What could possibly be distracting you?

With a finger raised almost comically in the air, one floating light bulb short of looking like a caricature, Eddie shouted out.

“Unless! Unless… she’s really not as stupid as I thought. And… all this… is a clever ploy! Oh! Oh-ho-ho! That is… well, that’s frankly almost brilliant. I hate to admit it, but credit where credit is due, I suppose.”

He picked up his phone from where he had tossed it, laying on the polished marble surface of the sideboard he hated so much but refused to give up, as he’d been assured by the realtor that it was something a woman would appreciate. And of course “a handsome bachelor such as himself would definitely be looking to entice a woman”. He was glad that realtor was dead.

Gripping the soft velvet on the back of the sofa, he leapt over it, landing with a thud with his legs up on the cushions, head leaning back on the soft pillows as his red hair spread messily behind him. And he held his phone steadily in his hands, trying hard to exude confidence, even falsified, just to give himself something to cling to.

Behind him, the large, floor to ceiling windows gave view of the sunset, which was slowly stealing the remaining light from Gotham and sinking it once again into complete, dangerous darkness. And as that beautiful sight disappeared, wasted entirely on Eddie, he typed a quick message out, one that he felt sounded casual, despite it being agonised over in his hyperactive mind.

“Hey, you get my text? Maybe you missed it. Maybe you missed it on purpose. I’m on to you, baby ;)”

He paused for a moment, reading over the words on the screen with a twisted expression of disgust.

“Hm… maybe not baby… at least not yet.”

Deleting the final word, he read the text again. And then again. And then once more, before he decided to delete the whole thing. Throwing his phone to the floor with an exasperated grunt, he realised that you might have been watching his little ellipses, the telling dots that screamed “HERE COMES EDDIE! TYPING ANOTHER MESSAGE! LOOK HOW DESPERATE HE IS!”

Up until recently, everything had been going exactly his way. He’d scammed his bosses, embezzled expertly from the company that owed him everything and had until that point given him nothing, and bought himself a luxurious and ridiculous apartment that he had wild dreams of turning into a bachelor pad, with endless parties that revitalised every night with new guests and new drinks and new experiences. Money hadn’t quite been enough to buy him the necessary friends or women, however. Although, when he thought about it, technically his money had bought him the company of several pleasant enough women. But it felt like an offence to him that he had to pay for their services, to beg, essentially, for their affections, and then had to add on an extra few if he wanted to have them pretend to listen to him as he talked to them. By his calculations, women should have been falling for him. They should have been paying him for the opportunity to be talked at. He was Edward Nygma! He was intelligent, he was handsome, and now, he was wealthy.

Realistically, there was an obvious solution here. And an easy one at that. He could go out, flash some cash, and find the first suitably pretty girl who reacted positively to his shtick or his flaunted wealth and take her home. But that routine had gotten old, it felt like those cheap sudoku puzzle books you could buy at the corner store. Easy, too easy. Though he might be loathe to admit that to anyone, given that he felt it was part of his reputation, his lore, his borderline misogynistic use of woman as a status symbol as an essential aspect of his character by this point. In his illusions of grandeur, and his misinformed concept that everyone knew who he was, he felt like everyone knew that about him, this staple of his personality, especially the girls at the clubs he frequented when his loneliness became intolerable. What Eddie wanted in a woman reflected his desires for the entirety of Gotham, and eventually the world. He wanted immediate adoration with nothing in return. An endless willingness to please him. And key, above all: subservience. Complete and utter subservience.

So why was he all of the sudden chasing someone who refused to give him the time of day? Who couldn’t even reply to a text with due diligence? He mused out loud, pondering this interesting conundrum, before he spoke his assumed answer.

“The… challenge? Maybe?”

As he spoke the answer to his empty apartment, he realised the confusion within him. One part of him knew the answer, the other too stubborn to learn it or accept it. He supposed it was the right answer though. It made sense, after all. Everything had been too easy lately. Very little ever posed a threat or a challenge to him anymore. And life had, unfortunately, become boring. Perhaps the fact that his plans and dreams were falling into his lap made him question whether or not he was actually achieving anything. This one act, going against the grain, against everything that he was, and wanted, to his core, felt like the first time he had actually engage his brain in something. And that was good practice, because sure enough, when his greater plans were in motion, he would have to be well-versed in thinking on his feet. Especially if he wanted to outwit the GCPD and his future, pointy-eared nemesis.

And of course, besides all of that, he was Edward Nygma. There wasn’t a puzzle he couldn’t solve, no challenge he couldn’t eventually meet. The last thing he was going to do was let some ungrateful woman get him down. No way. Even if it took all of his determination and might, and every ounce of his brain power, which as previously concluded was not really up to much else at the moment, he would have you.

With a renewed, and somewhat misplaced, sense of confidence in his abilities, something he found hard to admit had even been diminished in the first place by your ridiculous behaviour, Eddie typed a simple message. Admiring it before sending it as though it were a piece of minimalistic art. A masterpiece. One to be looked on by the ages.

“Hey.”

That was enough. And quite frankly, it was all you deserved right now after your negligence and rude behaviour. He would let you come running to him. Let you get intrigued by his casual interest. You could – no­ – you would come to him. As he sat, grinning smugly at his self-congratulatory pride, his phone pinged. The small chime was enough to make him jump, his heart thumping as it missed a beat, a strange sense of arousal that surged through him at the mere suggestion of you paying a tiny iota of attention to him. And as he picked up his phone, he muttered to himself.

“A response already! See, Nygma, you know what you’re doing.”

Looking at the screen of his phone, his grin was immediately forced down by the immense emotional gravity into a large, comical frown, his brows scowling as he read the brief message you had decided to grace him with.

“What do you want?”

Seething, and through gritted teeth, Edward hissed into the empty apartment.

“Oh, you little…”

He managed o stop himself before he said something even he might have regretted. But still, enraged by your lack of interesting and your crude wording, Eddie felt his fingers tense around his phone painfully. Any more pressure, or strength in his slender body, and he may have cracked the device in half. Relaxing his digits, he typed a quick message in response, pleased with himself, but still deeply upset with yours. If that’s how you wanted to play it, then you could get ready to be met with a formidable opponent.

“Sorry, might be the wrong number. I have two girls’ numbers in my phone right now without names yet… which one are you?”

That would show you. False competition for his attention might engage you better. If you thought there was even the most slender, most remote chance, that you might not get to be with him, then it might encourage you to a little bit more receptive. Or at least, slightly more polite. But your response, coming incredibly quick, only served to snuff out that idea.

“I’m the one you should delete and block.”

“Fuck!”

Eddie tossed the phone once more, letting it land with a thud on the soft carpet on the floor as he rolled over on the sofa, burying his head in the cushions and letting out a variety of grunts and groans, though mostly mewling and pathetic whimpers. After a suitable amount of time spent feeling sorry for himself, and trying to convince his own ego that the backfiring of that particular approach was down to your difficult personality, he rolled back over. Staring blankly at the ceiling, he tugged nervously at his hair again as he tried to reason with the silence.

“Come on, Nygma. Solve the puzzle. She’s a Rubik’s cube, and you need to get your fingers all over her, twist her the right way until she makes sense.”

With an exasperated sigh, he reached to the floor and picked up his phone. There was a chance, he thought, that being himself might, for the first time ever, work when dealing with a woman. After all, it was foolish to keep trying the same methods and approaches, madness to think it might yield different results. Something completely different, something out of left field. A shock factor. It might just be the thing to loosen you up.

“Perhaps…”

Delighting in the idea that perhaps he was the solution to the puzzle after all, he typed out a new message. Very flirty, very cheeky, and typically Eddie all over.

“Oh!  It’s you. I’d recognise that attitude anywhere. Spicy. Off-putting. I won’t be deleting you, so what do you want your name to be in my contacts? Would ‘babe’ do?”

You were typing already. Hook, line and sinker. He had you, and even if you were only replying in order to tell him off, at least you were communicating with him. It was better than nothing. And it meant he might have another chance before you decided to block him.

“Absolutely not.”

“Ok then. What about ‘cutie’?”

“If you think ‘cutie’ suits me, then I think you still have my identity mistake.”

“Ok, fine then. If we’re going for descriptive accuracy, how would ‘Stone Cold Bitch From Hell’ suit you?”

The back and forth stopped. There was no immediate response from you, and panic began to settle in Eddie’s chest. If this backfired, it would take a lot to come back from it, effort he wasn’t sure he was ready to put into even a committed relationship let alone a hook-up with someone he barely knew. Even he might not be able to rescue this situation from the hole he had dug for it. Maybe, he should have clarified it was a joke. Text you back immediately with a smile and a laughing emoji. After all, not everyone was as intelligent as he was, and the nuances of his humour did often go unrecognised or misconstrued, through no fault of his own obviously.

When his phone finally pinged, Eddie held his breath as he looked at the screen, his skin dimpling and his hairs standing on edge as he waited for the disastrous consequences of his actions to rear their ugly head.

“Actually, that one kind of suits me. Maybe you’re a bit more perceptive than I thought you were. And don’t get excited, because that really isn’t saying a lot.”

With a smug grin washing over his face, Eddie elected not to respond any further than sending you one solitary winking face. That would do, for now. He had to take it slowly, even still. Weeks of pandering to you, of trying to be someone else. And now, finally, he found out that you were one of the rare few who responded positively to his true self. A woman of refined taste, it seemed. But he was still wary, cautious.

As he got himself ready for bed, he thought back on how much time he had wasted so far on you, trying to convince you that he was perfect for you from behind a façade that you clearly had no interest in. He’d learnt the lesson, yet again, the hard way. Be himself.

“Be yourself, Eddie. That’s how you’ve won everything you have so far in life. Who can resist your charms? I mean, come on!”

He grinned wide into the mirror above the sink, shooting himself a quick wink, sly smile spreading further. He brushed his teeth quickly, spitting into the basin before focusing his attentions back on his reflection, picking at his teeth and combing back his hair before stopping to pose in front of the mirror. He flexed his almost non-existent muscles, self-obsession and illusions of grandeur once again assuring him he had the body of an Adonis, and then he laughed.

“I am genuinely almost jealous of her. She gets to be with this! Hoe wonderful for her. I truly am a gift.”

Thoroughly enamoured with himself, he took his self-satisfaction and headed to his bed to celebrate it in the disgustingly lewd way only he could. And, surprisingly, beyond the thoughts of how wonderful he was, he was thinking of you as he congratulated himself over, and over again.

And he was still thinking of you in the morning when he woke up. It had been a long time, concerningly so, since someone other than himself, or that ridiculous vigilante with his tight-fitting costume and penchant for leather, had been able to steal the focus of his attention. The excitement at the novelty of the situation had him giddy as he got out of bed. Purposefully ignoring the pull of desire to check his phone for any notifications, he opted to primp and preen first. The longer he held off checking, the longer he could live in ignorant bliss of the true, and potentially heartbreaking, outcome.

“Schrödinger’s booty call…”

He winced at his own joke, the thought of it distressing him. What if that’s all he could get out of you, in the end, after all of this?

“OK, but do I really want more?”

Yes was the answer to that, although his empty apartment could hardly scream that back at him. This was beyond a quickie, a one-night stand with someone he found physically enticing. He had deeper feelings for you, maybe only slightly underneath his callous and crude surface. But they were definitely there. What they might amount to in the future even he couldn’t be sure of yet. But all he knew was that once with you would not be enough. Not for the trouble he considered himself having gone through for you.

Finally dressed and smothered in his obnoxious cologne, Eddie turned his attentions back to his bedroom as he left the ensuite to find out whether he had a reason to live this morning. And if you hadn’t replied, his plans to destroy Gotham would be enacted far sooner, spurred on by your cruelty.

Luckily, however, for the citizens of Gotham and Eddies own ego, given that with so little preparation he was sure to fall flat on his face if he commenced his grand scheme so early, he had one message and it was from you.

“Nygma. That’s right, consider yourself lucky that I remembered your name. You’re good with computers, yes? I seem to recall you bragging about it.”

“Ha ha! I’ve got you now!”

A typical ploy! How many times had he asked for help from someone, which he never needed given he was the smartest and most competent person who had ever lived, just to get closer to them or to spend time with them? Far too many for him to count. He was very aware of what you were trying to do. And he was more than happy to play ignorant, to play along and give you what you so clearly wanted.

On the edge of his seat, quite literally he realised as he shuffled back into the centre of his bed, his fingers tapped quickly, furiously, as he replied to your message.

“Obviously, of course I am. It’s kind of my thing. Although, you obviously knew that.”

Was he too smug? Maybe… But you clearly liked him. It was impossible for you to deny it now. It was only a matter of time before he lured you into his web and kept you there… willingly of course… unless…

Eddie’s more villainous daydream was cut short, thankfully, by the slight vibration of his phone against his palm, a tingle sent through him like an electric shock as he took a breath and looked to his screen, or looked to his future.

“Great. Is this guy any good? I need someone to fix my laptop and he looks competent.”

Attached to your words was a screenshot of some less man, the Computer King he was calling himself, who was offering extortionate prices for no doubt shoddy, subpar work, regardless of what it was that you needed.

Were you joking? He couldn’t be sure. It could be an effort to make him jealous, retaliation for his own efforts the night before. It felt as though you were goading him into offering himself up on a platter, detailing his skills and positive attributes like you were interviewing him for the job of “gracious boyfriend”. And that just wouldn’t stand, not even…

“It would stand though. Only for her. But still, irritatingly so…”

Laying back in his bed with a soft thump, he clutched the phone to his chest, reminiscent of how he had been the night before, and so many other moments leading up to this one. You were in his head, and he could feel you slipping into every other facet of his being. But still, he was slightly pissed off with your constant back and forth, your cold attitude, flaunting the concept of communication in front of him and then snatching it away cruelly with the suggestion that you’d be giving it to some other, lesser, man.

Fed up, and already annoyed at this early hour, he typed a droll message.

“Yep. He’d be good enough for you, anyway.”

With a falsified grin that faded into a genuinely emotional frown, he placed his phone down and went to the kitchen to grab some coffee. He managed to convince himself he’d done the right thing. Pretending to be proud of himself, he sipped slowly, a dramatic “ah” at the end of each slurp as he continued the farce. Who he was performing to, he wasn’t even sure himself. But given that he spent most of his time in solitary isolation, self-congratulatory arrogance with the aim of tricking himself into feeling comfortable was the least strange thing he did alone.

When he realised he hadn’t heard his phone chime, though, he began to feel tense and nervous. He was fidgeting, tapping the edge of his coffee mug with his fingers, shaking his leg, his foot bouncing on the ledge of the breakfast bar. One moment of, albeit in his mind rightfully placed, anger, and he’d undone his weeks of hard work.

“Idiot, idiot, idiot.”

In a rare moment of self-reflection that bordered on a breakthrough, Eddie considered his life as a whole, and how many things had actually gone right for him. The years of slaving away at a job that didn’t respect or value him, his tortuous formative years filled with bullying and excommunication from every social group he had tried to enter, his lack of luck in social situations with anyone he dared to interact with, his formidable and deeply unloving parents. The possible, but likely inevitable, end to his great schemes when the vigilante of Gotham decided to crack down on him. Surely, all of these amounted to an understanding that Eddie might just not be lucky, or made for good fortune. Or, could it be that Eddie was the problem? That he was the common denominator in all of the unfortunate things in his life?

It was a self-hating thread that he rarely pulled, for fear that his entire existence would become unravelled. But then, a glimmer of hope as he heard the chime, finally.

Tripping over himself in a bid to reach the phone as quickly as possible, he read the message wide-eyed and hopefully.

“I don’t want to regret this, Eddie. You seem to not understand. If I get another guy to look at my laptop for me, then I can meet you for a coffee while he works on it. You seem like you might be adequate entertainment for an hour. And besides, I feel like hating myself today. So?”

Eddie’s wide smirk pressed into his cheeks as he sighed dreamily. With any luck, you’d be willing to commit to hating yourself every day if he could just make sure this date went well. And since he had already managed to get this far with you, he assumed his natural charms would see him the rest of the way.

[quandaryqueen]

Yj, BTAS, Arkhamverse, Zero Year riddler's. What physical and personality traits do they adore most in their s/o?

The Riddlers' Types

Edward Nygma X Reader Headcanons

Gosh I am not all that fluent with Zero Year Riddler, but I'll try my best!

If you see spelling errors, you didn't

💚 Young Justice

Honestly, anyone who gives him a taste of human compassion is an instant type for him--

Jokes aside, I think someone who is shorter than he is, just to emphasize his height because he's insecure like that. But if you happen to be taller? That's fine, it will take time for him to accept because by god he is in no place to pick and choose when he is already granted to be near someone. He is a sucker for height differences, especially when he is the taller one in the relationship.

As for personality traits, gosh he does adore it when people stand up for him. He believes he can do that for himself, but to see someone actively defend really is something, when all those words catch up to him and some days he just finds himself accepting them, but then you came to remind him that he matters. And that made him have more faith in himself.

💚 Arkhamverse

Give him a slab of flesh to rest on and he's yours. He adores soft things as a break from the cold, hard metal he works with. Chest, stomach, thighs, doesn't matter, he isn't picky. He's using you as a pillow and will grumble if you make any attempts to move away. At first he was shy and wary, but in time he came to appreciate the warmth and softness you offer, along with the security and comfort it's accompanied with.

He likes people when they listen to him and praise him, just like any other deprived individuals. Gosh all the Riddlers could use some praises for their self-esteem, to be honest. Tell them the things that their dad's should have told them growing up or something. It would be touching for him to know that there truly are people who appreciates the genius he is. Patience is also important in the long run. Though he doesn't recognize it, he is a handful and patience is something one should carry when dealing with him.

💚 Batman the animated series

Hands. Just... Hands. Something to wrap around his neck hold his face, let him relish the warmth of your palms against his skin, with your thumb stroking his cheek to wipe his tears away. Or maybe let your fingers run through his hair, lightly scratching his scalp. To let his fingers lace between yours to know he won't lose you. Hands have many uses and he loves them.

As for personality, he would love if his significant other would be understanding and willing to learn. He finds curiosity as something wonderful, beautiful even. It's just the willingness to learn that appeals him, which also makes him knowledgeable enough to give them something to learn. He is happy to help and will be patient with your pace of learning, for the sole desire of seeing the fire of fascination in your eyes.

💚 Zero Year

Coming at number two, we have another contender for squishy flesh, Zero Year Riddler is also fond of a thickness in the body, especially when he can squeeze them. Just picture him coming up from behind you... And squeezing your behind. Or thigh. If Arkham Eddie likes using them as a pillow, Zero Year loves squeezing them.

As for personality well... He has a soft spot for the feisty people who gets easily fired up, he likes them hot... Headed that is. Or both. He is not complaining. He likes making people pissed off, enough to set them off... Maybe they can even try to pull that smirk off his face if they decide to do something about his obnoxious ass. Kiss him or slap him. Or both. He is not complaining.

[acapelladitty]

hello hello ditty, I have a lil prompt with ZY!Riddler (And A transmasc reader :3) Him using his partner in a Free Use context while they are playing a video game or just doing something. He just comes, fucks, and go as his partner stays (Mostly) unbothered by it :3

ZY Riddler/Reader - Free Use

Summary: Tied to a bed, you find your role in Edward's life very clear as he considers you a free use distraction.

The first time Edward paid you a visit was more of a test of your resolve than anything else.

You only realised his presence when the squeaking springs at the other end of the bed announced his weight and your mind quickly went into overdrive as you wondered exactly what he had in store for you. Hands bound to your ankles as your neck remained collared to the bedframe, the positioning left all of your holes free for his use and the anticipation of which he would choose made your engorged clit throb.

A gasp escaped you as his heavy hand had landed on your inner thigh, teasing the skin there with obvious consideration before his fingers settled on ghosting gently along your slit. Cool digits on heated skin, his touch had been electric and uou moaned into the sheets as you moved against him without thought.

Arousal pooled for only a moment before the fingers pulled away and were replaced with a harsh slap - the sharp sting making you yank against the collar as you gave a low yelp.

Another two slaps are quick to follow the first and the hot discomfort only serves to make your cunt wetter as you writhe against the sheets. But, nothing else was to come, and you again felt the springs release their tension as Edward stood and left the room wordlessly.

The second time was different.

One hand holding one of his many small, off-the-grid cellphones, his other hand was determined in its positioning as it wrapped around your head and pulled your attention away from the vague nap which you were attempting to pass time with.

He didn't hesitate in slipping his cock between your lips and his assured voice as he berated whatever fool had irritated him over the phone, didn't break once - not even when you swallowed the tip of his cock down your throat. Your practised tongue massaged his length, movement limited by the collar and his eyes never once dropped to offer you anything above a mild inhale as you worked his cock over the way he liked.

He came quickly this time, a muffled grunt announcing his orgasm a split second before your mouth flooded with his release, every drop greedily licked free of his cock as you cleaned him diligently.

The third visit was more of a preparation.

Your legs trembled as he spread your ass and pressed the blunted end of a thick chrome plug to the rim of your asshole. A thick coat of some lubricant felt cold against your skin and it helped to ease the passage of the plug as it slowly stretched out your pliant ass - Edward's fingers holding the plug at its widest point to maximise the discomfort before allowing it to be swallowed by your clenching hole.

Fuller than ever, you could feel that this plug was one of the largest you'd taken yet and only the collar which held your neck strict to the lower beframe prevented you from looking around to see if there were any attachment hanging proudly from your ass. Neglected, your cunt felt swollen and desperate - dripping arousal to the sheets as your fingers clawed at your ankles.

He finally fucked you on the fourth appearance.

Borderline asleep, you were startled to alertness by the sudden pull of the chrome plug from your ass, the stretch at the widest point drawing another low groan from you as you stuttered out the discomfort in a sleepy haze, but it popped free with a obscene noise and was quickly dropped to the sheets.

The blunt head of Edward's cock replaced it in an instant as his lube-soaked cock thrust itself into your loosened ass without too much struggle. On his end at least, on your end it felt like being fucked by a fire hydrant as his thick cock stretched the rim of your hole until it burned. Whimpering in pleasurable discomfort, you spread your knees as far as possible and tilted your cheek against the sheets, accepting everything he had to offer as you had agreed.

He had been utterly silent towards you so far, his only noises coming from a soft exhale as he first thrust himself into your ass so it catches you off-guard when he suddenly speaks in a roughened tone.

"Enjoying your role as little more than a warm hole for me to enjoy, handsome? A depository for me to breed as I see fit?"

"Yes, sir." You reply with a grunt as his balls slap heavily against your cunt, your nipples aching for a little stimulation as they remain neglected. "Only yours."

It's an answer that pleases him and you can tell from the way that his hips rut against your ass, burying his cock as deeply as possible as he rumbles out his approval.

"Excellent, pet. One more hour and I'll let you free to use the bathroom. So try not to make a mess before then."

[butcher-bloke]

So since I’m still lacking in the department of writing ideas and capability, Arkham riddler is temporarily booted from the writing list

Which means it’s time for a due over!

[light-purp-insect]

Introduction Post

Inbox: Open 11/10/2023

beginner writer, refer to me as Av until further notice. Please read notes/warnings, we have them for a reason. specialization in 'x reader' fiction, possible ships once i get everything worked out. All writings under the tag 'Av writes for once' and questions are under the tag 'Av answers questions' both at the end of the tags on this post.

characters

-- DC universe(s) villains (heavily prone to edits)--

Mad hatter/Jervis Tetch (Arkham games including Origins, Batman the Animated Series, New Batman Adventures, Gotham television) (yes, I favor him greatly)

Scarecrow/Jonathan Crane (Arkham, Corpsecrow, Tim Sale)

Riddler/Edward Nygma (Arkham, Gotham television, Year Zero, Jim Carrey version, Dano version.)

Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot (Arkham, Gotham television, Farrell version)

-- Slashers--

Michael Myers (unspecified, physically described as most main-series appearances)

Brahms Heelshire

Ghostface (unspecified, usually male under mask unless specified/asked)

Bubba Sawyer (specify the exact version/actor as I think they differ)

-- Baldur's Gate 3--

Astarion (both spawn and ascended)

Halsin

Wyll

Shadowheart

Karlach

Raphael, and by extent Haarlep

Zevlor

Kar'niss (yes, the drider)

Gale

Cazador Szarr (pre-master/spawn and current)

Notes/warnings

Vellioth (That's Cazador's old master)

Abdirak

We try not to write smut, but when we do, the post will be flagged for explicit content. We might incorporate a kink in a writing in a non explicit manner such as dollplay simply be dressing reader/character up, this will be tagged as a full kink. We occasionally will write whump, this can include topics such as non consentual bondage, non consentual kissing, occasional mentions of nudity both consentual and not, yet we will not write actual noncon sex (we do not feel confident or comfortable writing true noncon and most likely won't on this blog) and topics such as physical and mental torture. This blog will talk about unhealthy relationships through whump, if you are struggling with these in real life, know you are not alone and that there is help, such as obsessive behavior and some forms of manipulation, we do not write the majority of 'x readers' as abusive unless whump, of which we prefer to write softer whumps due to our inexperience with the genre. Most of our readers are gender neutral. We will always write for all types of fashions and presentations.

(We refer to myself as plural in the way a company does, we do not have a form of dissociative disorder that effects our number as of currently. although it is speculated there is a possibility that I do suffer from one form of dissociation. On that note, we currently do not plan on getting a diagnosis for several more years because DSM-5 pain owchie. I can talk as an 'I' or 'me', it's just that I enjoy feeling like some boss of a company.)