themortaltextposts
themortaltextposts
The Mortal Textposts
137 posts
textposts and even some headcanons of the Shadowhunters books || OPEN for submissions and / or requests!
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themortaltextposts · 3 years ago
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I don't have a license to kill. I have a learner permit
- Simon, sometime in his first year at The Shadowhunter Academy probably
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themortaltextposts · 3 years ago
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The Infernal Devices textpost
Gabriel: "You really are campaigning for asshole of the year, aren't you?"
Will: "As defending champion, are you nervous?"
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themortaltextposts · 3 years ago
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City of Ashes textpost
*Magnus opens the door to his apartment to the gang when he's still babysitting Jace*
Magnus: "I know what all of you are thinking: my jacket is wrinkled. I would have ironed it, but someone here thought it would be a great idea to use the iron to make a grilled cheese sandwich!"
Jace: "I had bread. I had cheese. I had an iron. What was I supposed to do?"
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themortaltextposts · 4 years ago
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TSC characters as Arrowverse characters quotes
first half of Vampires, Scones, And Edmund Herondale!Edmund Herondale: "My name is John Constantine. I am the one who steps from the shadows, all trench coat and arrogance. I'll drive your demons away, kick 'em in the bollocks, and spit on them when they're down, leaving only a nod and a wink and a wisecrack. I walk my path alone because, let's be honest... who would be crazy enough to walk it with me?" -John Constantine
Jace Lightwood Herondale: "Make the plan, execute the plan, expect the plan to go off the rails... throw away the plan." -Leonard Snart
Emma Carstairs: "I just love a good pop culture reference in a moment of crisis." -Cisco Ramon
Magnus Lightwood-Bane: "A word of advice from an old man who's lived long enough to see the world change, and mostly for the better: if you are lucky enough to find love again... embrace it." -Todd Rice
Julian Blackthorn: "I took two oaths in my life. One: to uphold the law. The other: to protect my family. Guess which one takes priority?" -Joe West
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themortaltextposts · 5 years ago
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The Dark Artifices textpost
[eating breakfast]
Mark: *reading the cereal box* "There's a quiz on the back. Who is the most prolific serial killer in the United States?"
Dru *matter of factly*: "Ted Bundy. Although in my opinion John Wayne Gacy had way more victims than he confessed."
Everyone:
Dru: "What? Everyone has their hobbies."
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themortaltextposts · 5 years ago
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Here comes a candle to light you to bed. Here comes a chopper to chop off your head. Chop, chop, chop, chop, the last man's dead!
-Bridget enthusiastically singing a lullaby at some point, probably
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themortaltextposts · 5 years ago
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City of Ashes textpost
[Jace's being interrogate by the Clave]
The Inquisitor: "Who do you really work for? Valentine? Why are you after the Mortal Cup?!"
Jace *shrugging*: "I already have the Mortal plate and the Mortal knife and fork, I want the complete set."
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themortaltextposts · 5 years ago
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The Wicked Powers textpost
*The TWP gang is running away from something scary and enters a room*
Kit *panicked*: "Close the door!"
Dru: "♪ I chimed in saying haven't you people ever heard of-♪ "
Ty: "Now's not the time Dru!"
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themortaltextposts · 5 years ago
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TSC characters as types of people on New Year's Eve
Magnus Bane: The Glitter Lover & the Party Thrower & Drank Party People. New Year's Eve has somehow become an excuse for people to wear a full bedazzled outfit, and we all know that Magnus will always use that as an excuse to take glitter to a whole other level, which is quite a lot when talking about him. He's also a legendary party thrower, so you can pretty safely bet that he's going to be the one hosting an epic New Year's Eve party (well, that is at least before their kids came along and/or when they aren't around), drink as much as he wants, and just have fun. For more information about him, also check the last type.
Also a Party Thrower- Matthew Fairchild, and you can be sure the entire TLH gang is going.
Raphael Santiago: Stays At Home. Well, at heart. New Year's Eve is full with too many people, and too many /drunk/ people, for Raphael's taste, so I think that if it were up to him, he'd probably stay at the hotel for the night. However, we all know he'll be dragged along with Lily, Elliot and the rest of the NYC vampires clan and spend the night drinking in the corner of the room, grumbling about the amount of people, the noice, and the stupidity of celebrating it as immortals ("so it was one year and now it's another. WoO hOo. We're vampires, Lily, what do we even care about the passing of time; you and Elliot are just looking for another excuse to party"), rolling his eyes at Magnus's outfit and actions of the night, and being the responsible one to later carry all the wasted vampires back to the hotel while also complaining about it. Nevertheless, he'd do it every year, 'cause, altough he's never admit it out loud, they're his friends and he likes them.
Also a Stays At Home- teen!Alec Lightwood, and Dru and Ty Blackthorn. Teenager!Alec most definitely did not like big gatherings, and had probably preferred to stay at home, however he's the brother of the party lovers Izzy and Jace, so would probably have had a similar situation to Raphael's with Izzy and Jace replacing Lily and Elliot in his case (and no Magnus). Ty and Dru, on the other hand, are the one who would actually pull through and stay at home. Dru would have a quiet night at home, alone or with her family, that she'd probably spent watching horror movies and similar, while Ty would probably be a bit confused about the concept but in general would prefer to stick to his normal night routine. If he does celebrate, Ty would probably also be a Planner and/or Time Reporter- making an organized list of goals for himself for the new year and the ways to achieve them, and actually managing to stick to it throughout the year, and the one always telling the family the time left until the clock strikes 0.
Gwyn & Kieran: Confused About the Concept. Being the leader of the Wild Hunt and a prince (now King) of the Fairies, repectively, both of them are less paying attantion to the passing of time than the rest, and celebrating the new year is a concept probably new to them, one that someone would most likely have to explain.
The Blackthorn & the Lightwood-Banes: The Family. New Year's eve isn't really for kids, but they sure do want to celebrate it, so those are the families that will (probably also) do a New Year's Eve family celebration, for the children to have NYE fun too. One of the adults would probably change the time on the clocks, to make the kids feel like they've stayed past midnight without them going to bed too late.
Lily Chen & Elliot: Drunk Party People & NYE's Hookups & The Noisemakers. If you know literally anything about those two, you know you can safely bet that they'll party on New Year's Eve like the party loving people they are, get absolutely drunk and have at least one or more hookups that night. This duo will always use any excuse it has to party, and you can be damm sure they're going to make the most out of this eve the best way they can and make a lot of noise, much to the annoyance of Raphael.
Also Drunk Party People- Jace Herondale and Isabelle Lightwood. No more hookups for those two, they've got Clary and Simon by their side now to love for the rest of their lives, but you can bet your asses that they're definitely going out with the rest of the TMI gang and are going to have a great time. If they end up hungover the next day, well, that's a problem for another year!Jace & Izzy ;)
All the TSC couples: The Couple. In every New Year's Eve party, there's always That Couple, the madly in love couple who'd spend half the party staring into each other's eyes and waiting for the ball to drop for them to kiss at midnight. And here, those are pretty much all the couples. Did Alec not wait to be able to do something like this for his entire life, and would Magnus not absolutely love every second of kissing his husband for the new year, finally doing it with someone who's actually going to stay for more? Would Aline and Helen miss a chance to kiss their wife? Would Wessa/Jessa (depends on the year), or Emma and Julian, who also waited his entire life for this? Or literally any other TSC couple? Yeah they're going to be That Couple, no question there, and they deserve to be.
Did I miss someone you think belongs here on this list? Comment down below to let me know.
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themortaltextposts · 5 years ago
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The Last Hours textpost
[Wessa are hosting Christmas]
Lucie: "It's Cordelia's first time with us, I need the holiday to go good for her."
Will: "Well, I need the holiday to be good for your mother."
Tessa *laughing*: "Liar!"
Will: *Points at himself* "Liar! I need the holiday to be good for Jem."
Will *very excited*: "Jem's Coming!"
*Door beeper beeps, Will Answers it*
Will *hopeful*: "Jem?"
Gabriel: "Gabriel!"
Will: "Jem!"
Gabriel: "Oh, what's the matter; your boyfriend's not here yet?"
Will: "He's not my boyfriend!"
Tessa *laughing with one eyebrow up, holding a Jingle bell with pictures of the two on it*: "So what are we gonna do with this 'Will and Jem 4-Evah' Ornament?"
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themortaltextposts · 5 years ago
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TSC playlist- part 13
{Other Parts: first part, second part, third part, fourth part, fifth part, sixth part, seventh part, eighth part, ninth part, tenth part, eleventh part, twelfth part}
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TRSoM!Malec: "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now", by Starship.
This is such a TRSoM!Malec song for me. Some lines remind me more of Alec, some more of Magnus, and the chosen lyrics are a mix of those two, but overall it’s theirs in my mind. Tell me I'm wrong, I dare you.
Chosen lyrics: "Looking in your eyes I see a paradise / This world that I've found is too good to be true / Standing here beside you, want so much to give you / This love in my heart that I'm feeling for you. / Let 'em say we're crazy, I don't care about that / Put your hand in my hand baby don't ever look back / Let the world around us just fall apart / Baby we can make it if we're heart to heart / And we can build this thing together / Stand this stormy weather / Nothing's gonna stop us now".
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Forever Fallen!Janus: "Strangers Again", by Against The Current.
The thing about this pick is- it's actually not the entire song, just the lines in the chosen lyrics. Why is it here then, you might ask? For two reasons. One is that I kinda like the song, and two is that those lines just fit too perfectly not to include them. Read them and tell me what you think, people.
Chosen Lyrics: "How did I get here? / And what have I done? / It's like I've been sleeping for two years / And I'm just waking up / Like I'm coming out of a blackout. / ... / Where do I go now? / And where do I start? / I don’t wanna pick up the pieces / I just wanna watch it all fall apart, fall apart / Like it should, fall apart, like I said I would".
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TID!Magnus (to Camille): "Should I Stay or Should I Go", by the Clash.
God I really like this song. Forever grateful for the LoT cast for giving me the great video that exposed me to this. Wait, where was I? Right, explaining why I gave it to them. Honestly, the lyrics are such a great fit in my eyes, and I see no reason why not to. Do you agree with me?
Chosen lyrics: "Darling, you got to let me know / Should I stay or should I go? / If you say that you are mine / I'll be here 'til the end of time / So you got to let me know / Should I stay or should I go? / It's always tease, tease, tease / You're happy when I'm on my knees. / ... / Should I stay or should I go now? / If I go, there will be trouble / And if I stay it will be double / So come on and let me know. / This indecision's bugging me / If you don't want me, set me free".
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QoAaD!Livia's Watch: "Heroes", by Zayde Wølf.
Not even going to explain this one. If you don't think the song is right for Livia's Watch and what they've done in QoAaD, we did not read the same book, simple as that.
Chosen Lyrics: "I can hear the truth hiding / The shadows are calling us out / I see the fear rising / Yeah but my hope is burning / The shadows are calling us out. / We are heroes / Heroes in the darkest times / When there is no light / We are heroes / Heroes in the darkest times / But we'll rise above / We are heroes".
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post page 511!Alec (to Magnus): "You Are The Reason", by Calum Scott.
Started with an up and ending with a down the same way two parts in a row; I’m evil, yes. I said it a couple of times before, so I won't repeat it once more, but I'll still say this- those who wish to re-live that time of Malec once more, I think you should add this song to the mix. Again, don’t say I didn’t warn you tho.
Chosen Lyrics: "There goes my heart beating / 'Cause you are the reason / I'm losing my sleep / Please come back now. / ... / I'd climb every mountain / And swim every ocean / Just to be with you / And fix what I've broken / Oh, 'cause I need you to see / That you are the reason".
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Oh no, did our 5-songs-long part thirteen came to an end so soon, like the parts before it? Don’t worry, I already have another part waiting for you to just give me the cue, so make sure to let me know if you want more 😁
P.S. As always, I already have quite a list, but I’m always looking for new songs, so don’t forget to put those in the comments as well, if you have any suggestions!
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themortaltextposts · 5 years ago
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City of Bones textpost
Simon: "We call bullshit! You expect us to believe this entire secret world exists and this evil Valentine guy is Clary's dad? Bullshit!"
Jace: "But—"
Clary: "Bullshit has been called, sir, bullshit has been called!"
Simon: "I'm calling the Intergalactic Bullshit Committee so we can get a Bullshit Tribunal set up to investigate the copious amounts of bullshit we have down here!"
Jace: "You done saying bullshit?"
Simon: "BULLSHIT!!"
Clary: "Yeah I think we're good."
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themortaltextposts · 6 years ago
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The Last Hours textpost
Matthew: "He'll be here tonight as the sun has its last shadow upon the earth and the crescent moon is risen upon the Eastern ridge."
Thomas: "So... like 9 o'clock?"
Matthew *sighs*: "Yes, Thomas, he'll be here around 9."
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themortaltextposts · 6 years ago
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The Wicked Powers textpost
Jem *about the bakery lady*: "She says I'm "cute AF", which I assume stands for "and fun"!"
Kit *aww-ing eyes*: "Aww. ... It doesn't."
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themortaltextposts · 6 years ago
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Every moment of your life is an opportunity for fashion.
-Magnus at some point in his life, probably
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themortaltextposts · 6 years ago
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The Infernal Devices textpost
Henry: "Everyone, look at my latest invention!"
Will *giving him a thumbs up*: "I like how it's not killing us so far."
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themortaltextposts · 6 years ago
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TRSoM textpost
Helen: Leon, this is Helen. How you looking, over?
Leon: Handsome. Available. I work out, you know.
Helen *sighing*: I mean how’s the situation looking, Leon.
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