thesmollestsnek

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This song by OddPride has me by the throat and I just had to draw something for it! ^-^

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I’m gonna put my fucking head through a wall the new system for receiving stock is so fuckin obnoxious and needlessly complicated.

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That awkward moment when you’re considering multiclassing but don’t have the stats for it :/

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Nobody tell the hardcore cosplay crafters, but I used hot glue to put this little hair pin display thingie together for work ;)

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Behold! A fun lil Hanukkah decoration I made for my place of work :3c

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Distracting Birb! Part 28

*throws this and runs* Masterpost

“So what did you find out?” Tim asked as he spun around. He was at the computer, of course, and looked most of the way to villainy backlit by the large screens.

(Dick loved his little brother, but villainy really wouldn’t be the most surprising outcome for Tim.)

“What makes you think we found anything?” Jason answered, just to be impertinent.

Tim rolled his eyes. “You wouldn’t have called us all down to the Cave if you didn’t have anything.”

Jason scoffed. “You underestimate how willing I am to waste your time.”

“Boys,” Cass said calmly, ending the growing argument with just that word.

“Duke still out on patrol?” Dick asked as a distraction.

Tim glanced over his shoulder and back at the screen. “On his way back. He’ll be here in fifteenish.”

Best not to wait in case Danny woke, Dick decided. They’d be sure to fill him in. “Okay. Well, Danny was not lying, he has a lot of plants.”

“Dick managed to turn on the watering system. We’re all very proud of him,” Jason said flatly.

The siblings all golf clapped, which Dick took a dramatic bow to. “Thank you, thank you. Otherwise a pretty normal apartment. Comfortable, a little nerdy, and not fussy.”

Jason nodded. “There’s a hero—not sure if someone real or fictional—that we saw a few times. Someone called Phantom.”

Obliging, Dick sent the photo of the mug from the bathroom up onto one of the screens. Tim spun back to the computer and started searching.

“There were also a lot of medication in his cabinet; vitamins and several prescriptions also. Some of them had weird labels.”

“Damn, Dick, you couldn’t have gotten a clearer photo?” Tim asked as he squinted at the new set of images.

“As much as I hate to defend Dick,” Jason said as he added photos of his own to the screen, ‘that is a clear photo. Danny was writing in the same language along with English in a bedside notebook of his.”

“Are you in need of glasses, Drake?” Damian asked as he looked from the photos to Tim with a judgmental brow raised.

Tim flicked him off, which Dick considered telling Tim off for (Damian had enough bad habits), but was actually curious about this. “No. The text looks glitched out.’

“No,” Damian said slowly and with a scowl, “it is clear. Odd, but clear.”

“Cass?” Dick asked.

She moved a step closer to the television, head tilted. There was a long, quiet moment before she lifted her hand a gave a so-so motion.

Tim looked from her, to Damian, to the screens. “…Dick?”

“So that’s the thing, it looks wrong to me too. If I look at it too long it’s like it gives me a headache. Jason can read it though.”

Jason snorted. “That’s taking it a bit far. I feel like I should be able to read it. I can get a word here or there maybe.”

“Like it whispers,” Damian said, the quiet words oddly poetic for the youngest of them.

“…yeah, like it whispers,” Jason agreed, just as softly.

“Right, okay. Freaky language that only some of us can even see, much less read, and those who can have spent a lot of time in or around the league,” Tim said. “How concerned do we need to be able this? To we need to be concerned about this? I feel like we need to be concerned about this.”

None of them had an easy answer for Tim.

All of them were grateful for the roar of Duke’s bike interrupting the conversation as he pulled into the cave.

“What are you all looking some grim about?” Duke asked. He yanked his helmet off and took a deep breath, like he hadn’t been able to breath in hours.

It was a feeling they all got. Even a good patrol was draining and Duke had been actively on follow up over what had gone down today with the Mad Hatter. Dick tossed a towel Duke’s way and went to grab a drink for the other from the food safe fridge.

“Stuff from Danny’s place. Take a look at the screen,” Jason said.

“Danny? I thought that we liked the guy,” Duke said, accepting the drink with a grateful thank you. He drained half of it his the way to the screens. “Shit, that’s a lot of meds.”

“Take a closer look,” Jason said, though not unkindly.

Duke stepped closer to the screen.

And went alarmingly still.

Dick resisted the instinctual urge to reach out and grab him. “Duke?”

Duke gave an answering hum and turned his head, just slightly, towards Dick. His eyes never left the screen. Dick wasn’t sure if Duke had really heard him. It was Jason who ended up acting, ended up listening to that instinct. He stepped between Duke and the screen, blocking their newest brother’s view. Duke sucked in a sharp, startled breath.

“What?”

“Hey, come on, have a seat,” Jason said and guided Duke backwards into one of the chairs at the table.

Tim swiftly cleared the photos from the screen.

Duke shook his head. “Sorry, man, I don’t know what… that, huh. What did those look like to you all?”

“Magenta tinted pill bottles with different levels of medication in them,” Tim replied calmly. “Dick and I can’t read what’s printed on them. Damian, Jason, and maybe Cass can a little which means it might be League writing of some sort.”

Dick leaned against the table. “What did you see, Duke?”

“Magenta tinted pill bottles with something in them. Like whatever it was my powers were weird about it. I’d have to see them in person to know anything about why, I guess, but they were… I don’t know. But whatever that stuff was I don’t think it’s League because I don’t think it’s human. I don’t think it’s earthly.”

“Well, fuck,” Dick said with a sigh.

He wasn’t sure if that was better or worse.

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Personal Gravity Falls headcanon. (Major spoilers for an eight year old show if you care about that sorta thing)

I’ve always found it a bit… odd, when the elder Pines twins refer to each other as “Stan” and “Ford”, respectively. Yes, that’s how they’re introduced and referred to in show, but there are lore reasons for that. Stanley specifically chose the nickname Stan so that he could use his own name while stealing his brother’s identity. And then keeps it cause that’s what he’s been using in this town and with these people for the past however many decades. It’s not everyone else calling them “Stan” and “Ford” that bugs me. That makes perfect sense. It’s specifically when Stanley and Stanford do it, because, technically, both twins are named Stan. It’s a major part of the Stan twin reveal. So having Stanford call Stanley “Stan” while Stanley calls Stanford “Ford” feels just a bit weird to me. It’s not like it’s uncommon for a person to have multiple names/nicknames that they go by in different contexts/with different people, and the elder Pines twins��� relationship predates the aforementioned reasons why one uses “Stan” and the other “Ford” in Gravity Falls, so why would they use different nicknaming conventions with each other?

All this to say, I think Ford should call his brother “Lee”, not “Stan”. Even if Stanley continues to go by “Stan” for day-to-day stuff, I think it makes more sense for Ford specifically to use “Lee”, since the nickname Ford uses would predate Stanley’s decision to use the name “Stan” by literal decades.

…or, alternatively they could both call each other Stan.

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Caught myself off guard the other day when I realized that, under the anonymity of the internet, I freely refer to my… *gestures vaguely at physical form* everything as joint problems without a second thought… and meanwhile irl I shy away from giving it any sort of label. Like, I’ll go out of my way to hide any braces I’m wearing or even take them off to do my (extremely physically active) job. I’ve had semi-consistent knee pain for the past eight years and have only recently started mentioning it in the company of others… by jokeingly referring to them as “old lady knees”. And I still dodge any questions about it.

Some of its cause I work a very physically active job in a very bougie area, and my outward appearance does matter a fair bit for my work, but still… I never realized how deeply that fear/awareness ran, that I completely change my vocabulary the second there’s not a chance of anything being publically linked back to me.

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Allow me to introduce everyone to Void (short for Call Of The Void lol)!

Had some extra time during session zero of a new dnd campaign I’m in and decided to sketch out my tabaxi bard while waiting for the others to finish building their characters. I’ve decided absolutely nothing about Void’s actual personality or even pronouns but eh, minor details. XD

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God I need a day off

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Fight scene!

Forever ago, I started a wip I never showed anyone, and I do still hope to work on it… eventually… but the one part I did write (after the initial inciting incident) really got away from me. Frankly, I feel like it just doesn’t really fit where it originally was going to go, it takes away from the intended focus of the original wip, plus I think it breathes better on its own. So, that being said… here’s ~1000 words of Cass being a badass! I can’t in good conscious call this even a snippet, but it was really fun, and a good writing exercise, I think.

***This is unfinished, and I have no plans to continue it. It ends abruptly and has zero editing whatsoever. You have been warned.***

Breathe.

Assess.

15 enemies total, 2 already down. Threat level: none. 5 at range, with throwing knives. Threat level: medium. 5 with swords, long reach. Threat level: medium-high. 3 with close-range daggers, appear coated in something. Poison? Threat level: high-medium. All highly trained, League of Shadows? Good teamwork, used to fighting together. Overall threat level: high. Best strategy: request backup. Disable remaining daggers first.

Two taps to her comm, and an answering chirp. Backup request received.

Oracle’s voice, smooth and steady. “Red Hood is en route, eta fifteen minutes.”

Another tap to her comm; acknowledged. One last breath, and back into the fight. Two daggers advancing from the front, poison-coated metal glinting. One dagger on the left, trying to sneak behind her. Swords fanning out, trying to surround. Three throwing knives on the ground, on in front and one on each side. Two in the air, hiding on roofs. Biggest threat: dagger on the left.

Quick as an adder, Cass turned left, darting towards the stealthier of the daggers. Body language: startled, but ready. Strong stance, not easy to knock down. Dagger in left hand, steady grip. Left handed. Favoring right shoulder slightly, old injury. Healed, but still a weak point. Strike there.

A hard chop to the side of the man’s shoulder, followed by a nerve strike in the juncture of that same shoulder and he went down, hard. A swift kick to his head on the way down had his eyes rolling back and he stopped moving. Threat level: none. Watch for signs of waking up.

Pivot around, take stock of remaining enemies. Both daggers, now on right steadily advancing. Two swords charging, three continuing to flank. Five knife throwers holding position. Closest enemy: sword wielder. Biggest threat: thrown knife flying towards her.

Cass ducked and rolled, and the knife sailed over her head harmlessly. She popped back to her feet in front of sword 1, too close for effective weapon usage. A quick uppercut to the sword’s chin, followed by a foot planted on her on her chest and Cass pushed. Used the momentum to change directions and launch herself at sword 1’s partner, catching them by surprise. A flying tackle, and their sword clattered to the ground. A brief struggle on the ground for control, neither willing to give and inch. Sword 1 was back up and approaching fast, poised to strike. Cass flipped herself and sword 2 over, letting them take the force of the blow, blade biting deep into their shoulder. Throwing sword 2 to the side, Cass swept out a leg, hooking it around sword 1’s ankle and down they came too. Get back up and evaluate.

Swords 1 & 2 were on the ground still, one winded and the other bleeding heavily. Threat levels: medium and medium-low. Likely to get back up eventually. The remaining three swords were further back, still out of reach. Threat level: medium-high. The knife throwers on the roofs had held position, as had two of the three on the ground. Threat level: medium. The third was scaling a nearby building. Threat level: low-medium. No weapons out. Both daggers were a couple feet in front of her, still out of range but not for long. Threat level: high. Biggest threat: remaining 2 daggers. Easiest target: knife thrower climbing the wall.

Four batarangs went flying in quick succession towards the knife thrower, one for each limb. Not waiting to see if they hit their marks, Cass turned back to the advancing daggers and settled into a defensive stance, letting them come to her. She couldn’t afford to find out what they’d coated their blades with, not with more than ten enemies remaining and backup still too far to help. A muffled cry and the thud of something heavy hitting the ground let her know at least one of the batarangs had struck true. Threat level: low.

Dagger 1 coming in from left, slashing with blade in right hand. Cass slid forward with her right foot, parrying the dagger with her left arm. Incoming threat: multiple throwing knives coming from above. Incoming threat: dagger 2 advancing on right. Number of immediate threats: three. Best strategy: dodge knives and disorient dagger 1 with sudden shift in momentum.

Cass subtly shifted her center of gravity, getting ready for… now. Jump, grab your opponent’s shoulders, hips up, push and twist. In a move borrowed from her oldest brother, Cass vaulted up and over her startled opponent, out of the way of the knives flying towards her. Keeping the momentum up, Cass used it to add power to a two-footed kick to the back of both knees. She hung on tight as their knees buckled, using the force of them hitting the ground to springboard up and over, towards the other dagger wielder.

One, two, three back handsprings as Cass flipped towards her opponent, planting both feet on their shoulders on the tail end of the third, knocking them down. Dagger 2’s head bounced off the pavement with a loud crack as they landed in a heap, Cass quickly rolling off and out of the way of yet another throwing knife. It clattered against the ground as she rolled to her feet. Dagger 2 stayed down, unconscious. Threat level: neutralized.

Breathing deep, Cass backed up to reassess. Red Hood’s voice crackled in her ear over comms. “Almost there, BB. How you holding up?” Cass gave a long, low hum followed by two quick taps against the comm unit: uninjured, backup required. She was starting to feel the strain of fighting off so many enemies at once.

Six enemies fully downed - four daggers, one sword, one knife. Threat level: none. One remaining dagger on the ground, moderately injured. Threat level: medium. Likely to get up soon. One sword nearby, still winded and on the ground. Threat level: medium. Three uninjured swords, one advancing from the front and the other two attempting to flank on either side. Threat level: high. Two knife throwers on the ground, far out of reach. Threat level: medium. Two more knife throwers on the roofs, currently out of sight. Threat level: medium. Current condition of self: superficial injuries only. Starting to tire. Best strategy: play defense. Conserve energy. Backup arriving soon.

The final dagger suddenly pushed themself up and lunges towards Cass… and directly into the path of a throwing knife. Back down they went, no longer moving. Correction: seven enemies fully downed. Cass wasn’t the only one tiring.

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Yknow what? Fuck you. *unqueers your gender*

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The thing no one ever tells you about getting better is that you start to recognize just how bad things were in the first place.

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Status update: still ace.

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Yknow, whenever I see a character who has both moles and a secret identity, they cover up the moles while secret identity-ing. Which makes sense, but tends to rub me the wrong way a little, cause. As someone with several prominent facial moles, those bitches are fucking impossible to cover fully with makeup. One time on a whim I sat down in front of a mirror and tried various things and the absolute *closest* to proper coverage I could manage was a dot of white eyeliner covered with copious amounts of foundation and concealer. And it’s still visible, just looks like a fucked-up pimple covered with makeup.

So, with all that being said, there’s one thing I’ve always wondered: instead of trying to hide that you have moles at all. Why not. Just add more? I think it’d be much simpler to, instead of trying to hide all evidence of large black/dark brown dots on your face. Take some eyeliner and add more moles so people don’t know which ones are real. Make sure at least one or two are more prominent/memorable than the ones you actually have, and maybe even alter the size/shape of your real moles too. If someone’s looking for a person with a cluster of four medium to large moles under the right eye, one very prominent one on the left temple, a row of three relatively small but very dark moles on their jawline and a wonky looking one in front of the left ear, what are the odds they’ll connect that with a person who has two medium moles under the right eye, one on their jaw and a small, relatively light mole by their left ear? Especially when combined with makeup that disguises their facial structure, but even without that I think it’d be very effective at keeping people from connecting the dots, especially from a distance.

…I think I have to spend some time with eyeliner making that a reality now, see how effective it actually is.

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Yoooo this is kinda crazy but I think my recent decision to scooter around places might actually, literally be desensitizing me to my long-held fear of riding bikes. I’ve been too scared to even try biking again for literal years, but if things keep going the way they are I might be able to.

That would be nice. I miss it.

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I decided to pick up pokemon moon again (haven’t touched it in years) and ugghhhhh I forgot that they automatically tell you type weaknesses in this game >:/ That feature is one of the main reasons I prefer older games and I thought it wasn’t introduced until SwSh but noooo and there’s not even a way to turn it off like the op exp share. I get that the series is aimed towards kids and the type chart can get really complicated so I get why they included it but I really wish that the more recent games had more battle customization options, I’ve heard that in the most recent installments you can’t even choose between shift n set battles.