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happy pride month

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sorry for spamming with posts while I'm drunk. it will happen again.

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I want to. bite someone

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I look at my trans friends and like. they're doing so well compsared to me. what am I doing wrong

I've been on T for ages, and yet someone I know who's gone about his transition completely naturally passes better than me. what is it that he has that I don't. why can't I have that.

I'm glad he's. able to pass, really. I lobe him a lot and I wish him all the beat in life and for forever. I just wish I could have that too

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wise words of advice that will change your life forever. listen closely. the dolphins toe is the badgers eye (think about it ) don’t ever forget…

I looked at this ask earlier whole sober and got very confused

and now I'm even more confused a few beers deep

I wish I understood this I feel like this vould actually be a very relevant and sensible metaphor for,,, something. dolphins don't havr toes

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if I die let it be known, don't let them biry me in a dress. or a bra. my dad would want that.

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also i like the term "government name" because it emphasizes that, while formal institutions might need a name by which to refer to people for the sake of consistency and clarity, it's not like there is some special metaphysical power granted to your hometown's vital statistics office to determine the True Name of a thing; the name of a person or thing is whatever word is used to index that person or thing. names can be situational--mike to your friends, michael to your parents, mickey to that guy at work you hate--besides which anyone or anything can have multiple names (most people do!), and if you are indexed with one name for one purpose and another name for other purposes, well, that kind of makes sense, doesn't it? the name on your tax documents or w/e is only your "real" name if you use it like a real name; otherwise it is bureaucratic trivia, like your passport number.

i could imagine a system where a government didn't formally register names at all. there's no metaphysical reason why having your name on your birth certificate binds it to you in a more accurate or useful sense than having an arbitrary identifier on it. except, you know, the massive practical hurdle of the lexical identifier you use every day being much easier to remember than a random sequence of numbers. and our strong intuition that names do have metaphysical heft to them. but that does seem to me to encourage making one's government name as easy to change as possible--after all, it's in the state's interest that their bureaucracy be able to accurately index the citizenry, and if "henry thistlethwaite" doesn't refer to anyone in practice bc to his friends, colleagues, lovers, and offspring he has been "jack smith" for nigh on twenty years, surely they should want their records to reflect that!

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I should. stop going in tumnlr while drunk

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I'm very tipsy. so please excuse me if I'm not articulating this correctly

I wish I was a woman. not on the sense that I want to detransition, but in the way that I wish I could be comfortable in my own body. I know I'm not a woman, and I never will be despite bring born in the body of one. I wish I could've been happy with the body I was goven.

if I could change one thing about myself, it would be to have me be born in the body that was right for me, whether that be the biological perceived male or female. I wish I didn't have to go through this or deal with transphobia on the daily, but I can't change this about myself, and that makes me upset. I feel like I'm mourning the girl I should've been, if that makes sense.

People ask me so often, "why couldn't you just be happy as a woman? or even a butch?". I don't know the answer. I wish I could be happy as I am. I t really do.

my own dad asked me when I came out to him why couldn't I have just been a lesbian instead, and I don't know what to tell him. he's mourning me too.

my transitioning has turned into a transition for everyone, and I wish it didn't. my sister has to deal with the fact that the girl she's looked up to her whole life isn't really a girl at all, and hasn't felt like a girl for a long time. I want my family and friends to just look at me like I'm the same person as always, and that too much to ask.

I wish I could just be the person they expected me to be. it would make everything so much easier. I don't want to detransition. but it would make everything so much easier even if I'm killing myself in the process.

I'm sorry for the vent. I have nobody to talk with about this in my actual life and I don't wanna burden the few friends I do actually have and have managed to keep.

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"I need to get out more, I should download a dating app."

[downloads queer dating app, immediately remembers the million reasons why I hate dating apps]

[uninstalls dating app]

...

"I need to get out more, I should download a dating app."

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You have inspired me, Lilith.

From now on, every time someone complains about a transmasc headcanon, I make another character a trans man. Henry from Kingdom Come Deliverance? trans man.

Zelda? trans man.

Barret Wallace final fantasy 7? trans man.

Tifa? trans man.

Nikki from that gacha game series? high femme trans man who cross dresses for the bit.

Every single character from pokemon? Also trans men. ALL of them.

Everyone is hotter when transmasc.

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going to go out on a limb here and say it feels like transmascs are the only group of queer people who are actively shamed for projecting headcanons. everyone’s allowed to but us

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I think the “it’s gender neutral” argument is falling apart more and more everyday as transphobes stretch what they label ‘gender neutral’. I just saw someone say she used queen and miss ‘gender neutrally’ when she got called out for misgendering a trans man.

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hearing all the recent increase in talk about how transmascs inherently have male privilege is WILD to me.

do you think that the moment 13 year old me realized I was trans, society immediately treated me like they would a cis man?

did I get that male privilege when I wasn't allowed to transition, and didn't go on T until I was in my 20s? when i presented as fem the whole time?

sure as hell still didn't get that male privilege after I started medically transitioning, as someone who still looks, sounds, and presents very feminine, and prefers to keep it that way to an extent.

just because someone identifies as male doesn't mean they're automatically a part of the super exclusive male privilege club.

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I've noticed more and more lately just how much being on the Autism spectrum has impacted questioning my identity.

It makes sense that since I've never been good at identifying anything about how I'm feeling, it would apply to gender and sexuality too. Most of the time I can't tell you what emotion I'm feeling, or tell the difference between nausea and hunger, or even tell when I'm thirsty- no wonder gender is so hard for me to identify within myself.

I've been able to get a vague idea of who I am and what I like over the years, but the specifics are still blurry. I know I'm vaguely masculine, but to what extent? Am I a binary trans man, but too afraid of change to do much about it? Am I transmasc/nonbinary? Am I just a masculine woman?

I use neopronouns- is that stemming from autism too? Do I really feel "other", or "non-human" like my pronoun choices reflect, or is that just the label that society has placed on me, that I've grown used to? If I use it/it's for myself because I dont feel human, am I any different from the people who have treated me like I'm not human?

I know that in general, I have the same level of attraction to every gender equally. But I have an extremely hard time telling the difference between platonic/romantic/sexual attraction. Am I actually aroace and just can't tell, because I interpret my platonic attraction as more? Do I genuinely feel all three? Do I just want to be friends with this person, or kiss them too?

I wish I just had like, a book with all the answers. "Xyz identity feels like this" and such. And that's what's so confusing about it all, there's no one size fits all when it comes to this sort of stuff. The same exact identity can feel completely different for two different people, there's no right or wrong way to feel about any of it, and my brain just. Can't figure that out.

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said it before and I'll say it again. fat trans men without top surgery you are so very special to me <3

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gonna start posting on here again I think