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my sister wants to play the question game everytime i see her

as if she isn’t already half of my entire being, she wants to ensure she’s well familiar with the other half

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this is still one of the craziest things i’ve written… in a good way

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i’m finding everything but god in this room

the outline of your back sears the inside of my brain

i’ve never understood religion

maybe this is mine

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i am used to feeling such intense emotion all the time.

am i numb or is this what happiness feel like?

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i think, what a beauty, and i realize after it is a holy place and i wonder if they’ve got me on the reel.

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She closes her eyes. He probably won’t be back, she thinks. Or he will, differently. What they have now they can never have again. But for her the pain of loneliness will be nothing to the pain she used to feel, of being unworthy. He brought her goodness like a gift and now it belongs to her. Meanwhile his life opens out before him in all directions at once. They’ve done a lot of good for each other. Really, she thinks, really. People can really change one another. You should go, she says, I’ll always be here. You know that.

NORMAL PEOPLE (2020) dir. Lenny Abrahamson, Hettie Macdonald

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The Bear (2022)

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i can put words to paper but you can speak what i cannot

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you taught me how to hold water in my hands

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i fear the day when i leave this room

i worry i may never see you again

i worry that our days will wither away

and “see you at home” will become “see you at christmas” and

i hate this room now but i loved spending time with you

and even now when i tell you “not right now” my future self pleads with me “yes right now. one day you will wish you had spent every day saying yes”

i’m still learning how to be a “no man” after being a “yes man” for too long

i don’t want my journey with self peace to become a place in time that i look back on with regret.

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You told me God was real and I always have believed you

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love me though we’re lonely

hold me closer

i want to jump into your skin

your kisses are a virtue

your gaze makes me sin

this love less demure

i’m colored by your touch

you’ve sought out my iniquity

and brought out the sun

we aren’t good together

but we’re the best we’re gonna have

you hold me at my lonesome

you kiss the lips you’ve damned

loneliness binds us

like an unbreakable vow

i’ll love you forever

as long as you’ll allow

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you read your trauma as comedy and mine as poetry

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Whatever you want

I don’t want to be a teenager bride, but I would if you asked me to

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they say that if a cat loves you enough, it will find you when it dies

which is where i found myself going when i couldn’t find anymore life to live

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frog and toad.

(you and me)

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rotting away like a fish in the sand

i’d stay here forever but the sun won’t burn my skin the way yours does