venatorsola

[venatorsola]

Salutations everyone! It's my 27th birthday today and I have the blessed misfortune of reflecting on the year while celebrating my existence. And it's been a hard year to celebrate; I won't get into details at some points but indulge me for a moment. My name is Munatsi and I'm from Zimbabwe, but I live in Canada. I miss my family more every year, though I tell them less and less. There is a lot of love there, I understand that. But I had cancer when I was 8 years old (I always used to tell people I was 10 when it happened, just so it sounded better for them). So recently I've been trying to unpack all that, really clear my head before I have any real responsibilities like a house, a wife, kids, even a dog. But life doesn't wait patiently as you deal with baggage, it just happens. It will keep flowing, we just decide whether to sink or swim. And that's a daily battle. But I've been sinking more than swimming for a while and I'll be 100% honest, I don't like myself. Not really. I like moments I create, memories I'm in but I don't think I've ever hugged myself, because I'm my own worst critic. And it's isolating, and difficult to explain, so your circle gets smaller(but you're introverted so you like that). But I have wonderful people who pull me out of my own head from time to time. My family changed a lot this year, that's another full suitcase life gave me but my sister and I are so close now and the chaos has helped. I know her far better, I understand her, I can never lie to her now but I'll concede that. And my other sister is growing so fast. They're both younger than me and I'm not prouder of anything in my life than them. I saw how human my parents are this year, which is life-changing even at 26. Maybe I hold on to things too long. I definitely hold on to things too long. Anyway this may help someone not feel alone, someone other than me. I'm smiling with a heavy heart, maybe next year will be a little lighter. Happy birthday me, I love you. #birthday #birthdayboy #27 #prose #notetoself #poetry #writing #instapoet #words #wordporn #thecultivatedfool #longform #mentalhealth #selflove #knowyourworth #life #love #venator #carpenoctem #newyear https://www.instagram.com/p/Br751-Th02M/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=p3y13q1d8xrb

[venatorsola]

#poetry #writing #instapoet #words #wordhour #wordporn #thecultivatedfool #poettree #oltmblog #wordswithkings #silverleafpoetry #lostlove #peoplewatching #distance #patterns #moments #time #sun #wings #angels #halo #heaven #heavenlybodies #stars #light #dreams #nightmares #life #love #venator #carpenoctem https://www.instagram.com/p/Bq5Cd5bBAwe/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1kpm8wvac37i4

[venatorsola]

Tortoise I've never trusted my body, I burned my hand and broke my leg before I was five years old. I always find a way to hurt myself, mischief sneaks up every once in a while, asking if I want to play, throw myself around and forget; forget that my arms are too long and my hands are big and clumsy as my two left feet. Truth be told, I am too slow, I could never get away from the trouble, guilt has always jumped on my back. That's why Hirch called me a tortoise in 2nd grade, and I went home and cried. The truth hurts. For what it's worth I'm comfortable in my shell but occasionally I check outside to look at the path I'm on, watching rabbits run past in every direction, avoiding attention. I've never trusted myself, my bones and organs and skin. I've buried my thoughts in food and stress and beer and gin. All because I dreamt of sprinting to life's finish line, and when I awoke I couldn't face the reality that slow and steady is my race. #poetry #writing #instapoet #words #wordhour #wordporn #thecultivatedfool #poettree #oltmblog #wordswithkings #longform #mentalhealth #selflove #selfpreservation #nostalgia #pain #childhood #sensitivecontent #empathy #bullying #tortoiseandthehare #runyourworld #runyourrace #ratrace #slowmo #takeiteasy #finishline #life #love #venator #carpenoctem https://www.instagram.com/p/BqqX1-JBhZw/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1ao27p34slpxm

[venatorsola]

#poetry #writing #instapoet #words #wordhour #wordporn #thecultivatedfool #poettree #oltmblog #wordswithkings #sympathy #empathy #anxiety #mentalhealth #coexist #overthinking #sundayfunday #sunday #emotions #citylife #begging #poverty #hardship #humanity #humility #winter #life #love #venator #carpenoctem https://www.instagram.com/p/BqoEg9thOss/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=3o6fb41rhx0t

[venatorsola]

#poetry #writing #instapoet #words #wordhour #wordporn #lessons #introspection #introvert #boasting #quiet #voices #recognize #see #hear #eyesballs #humans #society #mirrors #soul #life #love #venator #carpenoctem https://www.instagram.com/p/BpzxDCMB9_M/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=gl49c4f1yvs4

[venatorsola]

#instapoet #springtime #spring #summertime #summertimemadness #quotes #sunlight #life #love #venator https://www.instagram.com/p/BiQbi2nHjwl/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=8e8kfx2w4oxp

[venatorsola]

#poetryintransit #poetry #instapoet #writing #creativity #nature #life #purpose #exploration #peaks #valleys #highsandlows #moveforward #always #love #life #venator https://www.instagram.com/p/Bjvsv_MnCPW/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1xgqz7dwhuptn

[venatorsola]

R.I.P #words #writing #poetry #instapoet #universe #energy #motion #astrophysics #intangible #inconceivable #beautiful #wonderful #mysterious #mystical #magical #terrible #torturing #toxic #heartbreak #humanity #empathy #sympathy #life #love #venator #carpenoctem https://www.instagram.com/p/BjwAc7ehwwJ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=zd9iszuzsnxh

[venatorsola]

#poetrycommunity #poetry #poetsofinstagram #wordporn #word #streamofconsciousness #dating #failing #selfhate #contemplation #meditation #selflove #appreciation #life #love #venator #carpenoctem https://www.instagram.com/p/BhFwnMeHVXe/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=6dn7zep7p6zt

[venatorsola]

#poetry #instapoet #writing #writersofinstagram #home #latenightthoughts #sun #trees #childhood #nostalgia #africa #heartandsoul #blackandproud #life #love #venator https://www.instagram.com/p/Bi56tsFnMqt/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=lqn8rb9dckz6

[venatorsola]

The figure that stands in the doorway, guiding in the darkness that surrounds it... blackness intermingled with the air, seeping into every inch of existence Eating light and bright colours, crushing all discerning lines into a formless liguid Livid, angry, ambling into all the open spaces Pouring nothingness with incessant persistence Pausing never, causing feverent flashes of fear in most. Not the silent silhouette It is a child of the dark, a dull spark, an insignificant speck loaded as an ark Is it Man in passage of time Or a ghost lost and spreading it's lonely wisdom? A spectre of regret. #caption #poetry #poetsofinstagram #poetrycommunity #darkness #ghosts #spectre #regret #doorway #nighttime #feelings #love #life #venator #carpenoctem https://www.instagram.com/p/BgC9dauAJNC/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=3himwyxn5f31

[venatorsola]

#poetry #wordporn #wordhour #quote #life #introvert https://www.instagram.com/p/BEkEXX2u8C-/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=gt7fb1gvcu1r

[venatorsola]

#poetry #poetsofinstagram #wordhour #words #instablackandwhite #blacklivesmatter #slavery #blackhistorymonth #blackhistory365 #black #waterlillies #suffering #pain #hardship #weshallovercome #life #love #venator #carpenoctem https://www.instagram.com/p/Be6xqW0nXeX/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=gg0c8e92ba26

[venatorsola]

#poetry #poetrycommunity #poetsofinstagram #marriage #mother #women #nuptuals #gettingold #thecultivatedfool #stress #nonamegypsy #prayers #universe #life #love #venator #carpenoctem https://www.instagram.com/p/BgkTLdmh3q0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1521mivyj18fn

[venatorsola]

#instapoet #poetry #writersofinstagram #writing #crazy #creative #thoughts #changes #stages #growingupblack #growing #nature #river #time #riveroflife #mountains #ocean #past #present #future https://www.instagram.com/p/Bk6YMhcngci/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=xdlhikaabsuk

[venatorsola]

Shout out to my little sister for going after her dreams and inspiring me :) God blessed me with you @mandipa_23 #poetry #poetsofinstagram #words #proud #bigbrother #littlesister #family #love #drawing #art #life #venator #carpenoctem https://www.instagram.com/p/Bejm8cRHG0c/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=k0sgudecjl06

[venatorsola]

#poetry #poetrycommunity #poetsofinstagram #nostalgia #childhood #digging #dirt #soil #hands #weather #rain #seasons #love #life #venator https://www.instagram.com/p/BgPxrV1g4fA/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=lkrvh9kwkbxm