zero-rider

[zero-rider]

Lancaster Picnic for @TMan_2018! Thank you!

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THIS was for kids?

yo, apocalypse stopped being a nightmare and turned into a dream

Source

It was for kids.

It's been canceled.

Full story is here.

My mind is boggled.

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You know I'm starting to see a pattern.

Can you see what that pattern is?

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How about Blake acting angry at people thinking she acts like a real cat only to purr in satisfaction as Jaune scratches her ears.

Wolf faunus Ruby is jealous.

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[Gets in with you]

[gets in my little clown car]

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It's Mating Season.

In the middle of the night, Jaune gets ready to begin his journey as an adventurer.

Jaune: Wish me luck Grandpa. The next time you see me I will be a renowned hero.

Granpa Arc: Don't you dare leave the house at this time.

Jaune: But grandpa...

Granpa Arc: *Serious* On a full moon nights like this one, the female werewolves go into heat. They become so dominant that the male's flee to the other side of the forest. Their appetite is so great that they prey on any male with the power to satisfy them.

Jaune: Yeah sure. I'm no longer a child to believe those stories, grandpa. *Walking out the door* There is no such thing as werewolves.

The moment he leaves he encounters his first female werewolf, the legendary Summer Rose. She looks like any other girl but she has a black tail, wolf ears, and her size is somewhat larger than a regular person. She picks him up by his shirt and starts to smell him. After a few sniffs she smiles while looking at him with fuck eyes.

Summer: You smell great, husband~💕

Jaune: *Scarouse* Oh no...

To be continue….

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Why can we just kiss? AS FRIENDS! And see where it takes us- Hopelly to you bed

Ruby Rose to Jaune Arc, maybe, probably, i think

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Some hours later

Cotton: *making a call on his scroll*

Qrow: *answering* Well, if it isn't Cotton Arc, What would Mr. war hero whats from little old me

Cotton: I want my son, and since Summer said no, i thought that maybe calling someone more reasonable would agree with me, but since Raven left Tai, i thought about you

Qrow: Gee i can feel the love from the scroll

Cotton: Will you help me?

Qrow: And why you want him back?

Cottton: My wife want him back

Qrow: I see... Nope *hangs out*

Cotton: What the... That fucker

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Qrow: *watching tv with Jaune in his arms, who had all his atention in a show about knights* Hehe you just made me win Tai's old zippy, good little guy *kiss Jaune's head and smile*

Jaune, Xiao Long Gone

What if Jaune's dad was Cotton Hill?

Taiyang: So, how's the new baby?

Papa Arc: You mean Jaune?

Taiyang: Yeah.

Papa Arc: Fucking terrible.

Taiyang: ...What?

Papa Arc: Everyone hates that baby.

Taiyang: HATES A BABY!?

Papa Arc: Yeah, fuck him. Might drop him off of the firehouse steps next week. If it gets cold enough.

Taiyang: ...

------

Taiyang: So yeah, this is Jaune and he's our new son.

Raven: ...

Yang: *Happy baby noises*

Raven: That's... nice. I'm just going to go get some milk... for the babies.

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Ruby: Hey Jaune, have you seen- OH MY GOD, JAUNE!!!

Jaune: *eating cereal from the box while surrounded by all kind of Grimm* What is it, Ruby?

Ruby: *now with Ren hiding her from the Grimm with his Semblance* Jaune, explain please

Jaune: Well, you see *munch, munch* i was here in the camp

Ruby: Yes

Jaune: Eating my cereal

Ruby: Mhmm

Jaune: Then this budy came along with his pack *pats a sleeping Beowolf head* and later this guy *point at a Beringel looking for any insect in Jaune's head* and this two *point at two Sabyr who were protecting Jaune* and then *keeps telling how every Grimm in the zone came to him*

Ruby: Okay, but why you weren't attacked by them?

Jaune: Dunno, i was just chilling here when these guys came and snuggled around me

Ren: You think this is related to why CRDL gave him snacks in Beacon?

Ruby: It can be. After all, CRDL liked to bully faunus, but they never did that to Jaune

Jaune: Ooh CRDL, i miss the food they made. Cardin's brownies, Russel's cupcakes, Dove's cheese pie, and Sky's crêpes were delicious

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Fun fact: Capybaras aside from being the biggest rodent and the most calm animal, it is said that the Capybara are the friend of everyone. You can even look at videos of Capybaras being in aligators backs, at their side, or just chilling

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Just hear this

for the Emperor and Sanguinius death! DEATH!

Jaune in the DC Universe (RWBYxJustice League)

Jaune: *Look at the mirror to see a more well-groomed and cleaner version of his Rusted Knight appearance wearing a heavy set of pure pristine white and gold knight-like power armor* Huh? Why am back to my old self but more cleaner and groomed?

Jessica/Weiss: *Thinking* He look so handsome and mature with that rugged beard~💕

Jaune: *Shudder Feeling a sense of danger and urgecy he can't understand but knew he need to run and hide*

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Glynda: Qrow Ozpin want you to spot the differences in these pictures.

Qrow: OK Piece of cake(look at the photos)

5 hours later Qrow still looking at the photos

Glynda: They're the same pictures

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Then out of nowhere

Vergil: *200% motivated* BURY THE LIGHT DEEP WITHIN!! CAST ASIDE, THERE'S NO COMING HOME!!

Jaune: WE'RE BURNING CHAOS IN THE WIND!!

Jaune/Vergil: DRIFTING IN THE OCEAN ALL ALONE!!

RWBY: Vergil's Embarrassment

Ruby: 🎵'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling!🎵

Dante: 🎵And everytime we kiss, I swear I can fly!🎵

Blake: 🎵Can't you feel my heart beat fast? I want this to last!🎵

Ruby/Blake/Dante: 🎵Need you by my side!🎵

Vergil: ...

Jaune: ...

Vergil: ...are you sure I'm not adopted?

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After an epic fight between RWBY and JNRO against Cinder

Cinder: Next time i'll kill all of you, you motherfuckers *dissapear*

Jaune: That bitch, how did she knew my nickname?

Yang: Your nickname is motherfucker? *Jaune nods* Why they call you that?

Jaune: You see. When i was i kid, i sneak into my mother's room

RWBYNOR: Oh oh

Jaune: She was sleeping in the bed after drinking all night thanks to a party

Ren: I think we heard enough

Jaune: I snuck up behind her and slip my fingers

Weiss: That's digusting! How coul-

Jaune: Into her purse

Weiss: Purse?

Ruby: Bless the gods, he said purse

Jaune: An i took all of her money, it was a week pay, so i really fuck her over. That's why my nickname is Motherfucker Arc

Yang: Shouldn't you call yourself Motherfucker over Arc to avoid confusions?

Jaune: Nah, i love seeing the disgust faces that everyone does when i tell that story. Unfortunately, some of those faces are of excitement, like Blake's

Blake: *wiping some spit* I admit nothing

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Some fun fact; I was about to do that Gary the Stormtrooper short from Robot Chicken where Gary runs over an Ewok, but with Jaune as Gary and a new creature from some fandom i found some days ago (I will not say what fandom) as the Ewok, but i thought "No way, dude, maybe no one will like it" so instead i did this

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Happy birthday, buddy

Well ladies and gents, before the day is done I have officially become Level 22!

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Jaune: *check his scroll and then stares at the wall* Oh no, my girlfriend invited me to a threesome with her and her bestfriend

Sun: Ooh Shit, my boy, are you exited?

Jaune: Excited? Mother fucker i'm terrified

Sun: Terrified? I mean, why would you?

Jaune: I barely have enough cum for her. Do you know how many pills i have to take just to keep up? Two rounds and my dick is dead for a week

Sun: *stares confused at Jaune*

Jaune: What? you think i can take her AND her freaky ass friend so i can embarras myself twice?

Sun: Are you good?

Jaune: No, i'm not good! They will kill my ass. T-t-those succubus

Sun: So you're not to do it?

Jaune: *Smiles and looks at Sun* I mean, hell yeah my friend, fuck me. Look, im here for a good time, not a long time

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Meh, why not? Go nuts and tell me

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Stowaway

JNPR stops to setup camp while out on a mission.

Pyrrha: *Searching through her bag*

Jaune: Forget something?

Pyrrha: I think I forgot my snacks back at the dorm.

Jaune: I have some extra granola bars if you want one of them.

Pyrrha: I would appreciate that.

Jaune: *Grabs his backpack* Well let me just- *unzips his bag* ...

Ruby: *Curled up in his bag, playing a game on her scroll, looking up at Jaune*

Jaune: ...

Ruby: *Holds up a granola bar*

Jaune: *Takes it*

Ruby: *Zips the backpack back up*

Jaune: ...