#papa arc

[notmaplemable]

To The East

7yo Jaune: Hey dad.

Papa Arc: Yes, son?

Jaune: Do you know where polar bears keep their money?

Papa Arc: I do not.

Jaune: In a snow bank!

Papa Arc: *Chuckles* Good one son. You'd fit in with the Xiao Long family.

Jaune: Who?

------

Yang: ...

Taiyang: Something wrong, Yang?

Yang: My future husband, he's out east.

Taiyang: ...

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Jaune's mom and dad stay with jaune because their house has mold but as it turns out jessica cruz came to visit

Papa Arc: Thanks fer Puttin' us up boy.

Jaune: Not a problem! I mean, Saph is putting up the rest, I figure I could handle you two.

Mama Arc: It was awfully Nice of her. I am happy for the mild vacation though.

Jaune: *Unlocking his door* Well you two deserve-

Jessica: *Wearing nothing but an Apron, Holding a tray of Enchiladas* Hey Hon- EEP!

*She fumbles the tray a little, spilling some sauce on the floor

Jessica: ¡Lo lamento! No me di cuenta- I- I'll go change! Sorry!

Mama Arc: I like her! She cute~

Papa Arc: ... The food smells good.

Jaune: *sigh* You two go get set up, make yourself at home. I'm gonna go comfort her.

[pilot-boi]

Pilot, I know you primarily bully Jaune. But would you mind having a go at Papa Arc talking to the Vacuo mural?

Orion Arc is not a hero, even though his son always thought he was. He’s just a man who loves his family and tries his best to do right by them.

So it’s more than a little strange standing there, in front of a mural of his own son’s face. His boy immortalized and honored in ways Orion could never dream of.

His son looks like a stranger.

“Mr. Branwen thought it might help to talk to ya.” Orion’s hand brushes over the palm prints of countless children, all paying their respect to his boy. “Don’t see much point, ain’t gonna bring you back.”

His son watches him, all quiet confidence and bravery. A true warrior, a hero. Where is his brash anxious son who begged to join the Huntsman Academies? How much of his son did he lose when Jaune finally left home? Somewhere along the way his boy grew into a man and he wasn’t there to help him.

“Your uh…” He clears his throat. “Your mother misses you.” And it sounds pathetic even as he says it. Even in front of a facsimile of his son he can’t say what he needs to.

“She was beside herself when you didn’t come back from Haven.” So was he, even more so than his wife. Orion paced the house for days, worry driving him to throw himself into work, into anything that would take his mind off the attack and the fate of his boy. “We were so relieved to hear from Saph about you and your friends.”

His friends. A group of seven that from all accounts Jaune grew closer to than even his sisters. Orion glances up at the others in the mural. Four of which fell alongside his boy, and the other three were left grieving.

Ren, Nora, and Oscar, he remembers them being called. He never thought he’d see his grief echoed in faces so young.

“As soon as we saw the broadcast, your mother was packin’ our bags.” Orion chuckles. “You shoulda seen her, she was fixin’ to march up to the General herself and teach him a lesson. If I ever wondered where you got your fire, I got my answer.”

His face falls, crumpling like paper. “And I triedta douse that fire.” How many times did he tell Jaune it was okay if he failed? How many times did he refuse to train him? How many times did he let his fear guide him to crush his son’s dreams?

“When you walked into the livin’ room with your transcripts in hand sayin’ you were gonna be a Huntsman whether I wanted it or not, why…” His eyes are stinging. If there’s anything his son inherited from him, it’s his tendency for emotions to live near the surface. “Why that was the proudest day of my life.”

He’d never been more proud. Never. His boy standing there with those papers clutched in his fist, and a defiant look on his face. “I won’t let you down.” Jaune had said.

You could never let me down. It’s what he should’ve said. Why didn’t he just say it?

Orion scrubs the heel of his hand into his eyes. It does nothing to stop the flow of tears. “Did I ever once tell ya how proud I am of you?” His voice is cracking and hitching, but if he stops talking now Orion knows he’ll never start again.

“You’re so brave and you don’t quit when things get tough. I saw how hurt you were after the Fall of Beacon, but you just got right back on that horse.” His baby boy, the most caring and most stubborn of all his children. Strapping the family sword back onto his hip because “Somebody has to, dad.”

Letters where it’s clear his boy isn’t saying half the trouble, but he’s saying enough that they know what trouble is. Hearing about the attack on Haven, a week and a half of terror. Saphron sending word that Jaune made it to Argus.

And then nothing. Nothing until the broadcast from Miss Rose.

Packing in a whirlwind, sending the girls to stay with Saphron. Renting the first available airship to Vacuo and contending with his wife’s motion sickness. By the time they got there, they were met halfway by a near armada.

But no Jaune.

Orion’s hand rests on Jaune’s painted cheek. A child’s hand against the larger-than-life hero his boy grew into when he wasn’t there.

Did he ever tell his son how much he loves him?

“Come back to us,” Orion begs, no longer trying to stem the flow of tears. Why bother? His son isn’t here to see them.

[superiorsturgeon]

Papa Arc: You must fulfill your duty as an Arc! You swore an oath when you were ten, and an Arc always keeps a promise!

Jaune: aN aRc AlWaYs KeEpS a PrOmIsE

Jaune: Fuck that! I’m marrying Pyrrha and taking her last name!

Pyrrha: Jaune, I’m thrilled to hear that, but is this REALLY the proposal story you want to stick with? 😑

(I’ll leave it up to you what the duty/promise might be!)

[dragon-razor-writings]

10-year-old Jaune: "Hey, dad? How exactly was mom like as a Huntress?"

Louis:"…"

(A couple decades ago…)

Josephine: *going apeshit with an axe against Grimm and Saleites* "DIE, INFIDELS! FACE YOUR PUNISHMENT FOR DEFYING THE GODS!!!"

Louis: '…Why is that weirdly attractive?'

(Now)

Louis: "She was…much more intense."

[lord-of-rain]

Mama Arc: Jaune! Did you bring a girl home?

Jaune: Yeah, this is Weiss!

Weiss: Hello, Mrs. Arc.

Mama Arc: Oh! This is the Weiss Schnee, my baby boy's been telling me all about.

~~~meanwhile in the Arc family study~~~

Papa Arc: Schnee? Schnee?!

Saphron: Yeah! Can't believe Jaune actually pulled her either.

Papa Arc: Get The Book of Grudges.

[reashot]

Besties On Ice.

Ren: Lancaster spotted on ice. Permission to commence operation: Breakup?

Papa Arc: Look... Ren, was it? I don't think want to go through with this. I mean they're still technically not together. And I think I might just be a tad overzealous in trying to break them apart.

I mean they could just really be friends.

Ren: Take a look. *hands him a binocular*

*Jaune tenderly leading Ruby by her's hand*

Ruby: Aahhhh... Don't let go, don't let go! 😵

Jaune: Okay I'm going to let go now.

Ruby: Ahh! You jerk!!! I'm gonna fall.... 😫

Wait I didn't fall. Ha, ha... *starts to fall* Noooo! 😱

Jaune: Gotcha!

Ruby: Thanks... 😏

Jaune: No problems...

*The two stares tenderly into each other's eyes*

Papa Arc: ..... Commence with Operation: Breakup.

We need to separate them no matter the cost.

Someplace nearby...

Blake: You just made a powerful enemy Mr. Arc. Mark my words you will regret this.

[howlingday]

Small Arc

Ruby: Aw, you were such a cute, widdwe baby~!

Jaune: Stooooop! I get enough of that at home.

Weiss: I'm pretty sure that's common for mothers.

Jaune: No, I mean from my Dad! He's always been bigger than me! See?

Blake: He's... He's even bigger than my dad!

Jaune: Yeah, and wait until you see how big my grandpa was? The worst part, though, is that they were my size a lot younger than me.

Yang: I mean, you're probably just a late bloomer.

Jaune: Maybe, but I just don't like the thought that I'll never be as big as my ancestors.

Weiss: (Under her breath) You're already big enough as it is...

Jaune: You something, Weiss?

Weiss: NOTHING!

Fun Fact! Due to the rise in shark hunting practices, great whites and other shark species are becoming smaller as a result of their rising mortality rates. In other words, sharks aren't able to grow old enough to reach their larger sizes.

[juanarc-thethird]

The Arc Family #14

In front of Papa Arc and Jaune, Mama Arc's favorite flowerpot is destroyed.

Little Jaune: Jeez, mom will get so angry…

Papa Arc: I'll give you $10 if you don't say anything.

Little Jaune: *Offended* My dignity is not worth $10.

Papa Arc: Then I'm going to tell your mom that you got an F in math and I sign it, in order for her not to know about it and get mad at you.

Little Jaune: Mom will get angry with us.

Papa Arc: I don't care, if I go down, I'll take you with me.

Little Jaune: In that case, sir, nothing happen. *He extends his hand to his dad*

Papa Arc: *He shakes his hand* That't my boy.

[lwde-encrusted-sideblog]

Papa Arc: Okay Jaune! No matter what don't stick-

Jaune: In what? Crazy? Don't fuck an Alien? A girl from another dimension? What other outrageous, impossible thing are you gonna tell me not to have sex with?

Papa Arc: LET ME TALK BOY-O!

Papa Arc: Don't stick your arm in a Gynoid, you got That? No fisting Robot Girls.

Jaune: Yeah, sure, fine, Whatever.

~~~~~

Jaune: This is My Girlfriend Penny!

Penny: Salutations!

Mama Arc: Oh? Wasn't she the Robot girl from Vytal?

Jaune: Yep!

Papa Arc: ... What happened to the Arm?

Jaune: (Hiding his prosthetic behind his back) I don't know what you mean.

[mrrayneysstuff]

Jaune: Ha! It's Yang!

Papa Arc: Is that your girlfriend you talk about so much?!

Jaune: I have to go, I love you!

Papa Arc: *standing in front of the door* Where do you think you're going, young man?

Jaune: Wherever she take me!

Papa Arc: No son of mine will date a troublemaker, I forbid you to go out with that hoodlum.

Jaune: But, dad, I love her!

Papa Arc: Go to your room!

Jaune: I don't even live here anymore!

Papa Arc: Well, then, go to your old room that your mother turned into her scrapbooking room!

Jaune: *climb the stairs dramatically*

Papa Arc: Get off my property, Xiao Long!

Jaune: *from the window* My beautiful dragon!

Yang: I'll come back for ya.

[notmaplemable]

Jaune: That's really all I've got to do to get a girlfriend?

Papa Arc: Yep, just whip it out and no girl can resist you.

Jaune: Huh, well thanks dad!

------

Jaune: Ruby.

Ruby: Yeah?

*Insert thump sound on table*

Ruby: ...Ooohhh~.

------

Yang: So he got you a ring made out of your spent shell casings?

Ruby: Yeah.

Yang: That's sweet.

[rwby-encrusted-blog]

Mama Nikos: We're gonna be Grandmothers!

Mama Arc: We are Grandmothers! Saph has a son, and you're part of the family now!

Mama Nikos: I know, I know, but my little girls all grown up and having kids of her own!

Mama Arc: I know, but just imagine in just fifteen year's time ...

~IN THE FUTURE~

Pyrrha: Children! To arms!

All 15 Arkos children: *Retrieve Shields and Polearms*

Jaune: Now! Phalanx formation!

Arkos kids: *Form up*

Pyrrha: Now let's Defeat Salem!

Jaune: And we'll get Ice Cream afterwards!

Arkos kids: FOR ICE CREAM! CHARGE!

~Back in the Present~

Mama Nikos: It's going to be Amazing~

Mama Arc: OUr Grand kids~ Saving the world~

Papa Arc: ... Well she's riled up now.

Mom Nikos: Tonight's going to be fun.

Papa Arc: Oh yeah, I'm just worried about-

Mom Nikos: Being able to walk tomorrow?

Papa Arc: Yeah.

Mom Nikos: *Nodding in understanding* Yeah.

[pilot-boi]

Papa Arc: Jaune you're here!

Mama Arc: My baby boy!

Jaune: *Squints* "... Who are you?"

You ever think about how Jaune named the Paper Pleasers after his friends, and there isn’t a single one named after his family?

[superiorsturgeon]

Fatherly Wisdom

Papa Arc: Wow, look at you, boy! You’ve grown into a fine young man since you ran off to Beacon with nothing but my granddad’s old sword and your hoodie!

Papa Arc: What did you do to your hair, though?

Jaune: Daaaaaad…

Papa Arc: Anyway, you really surprised me, son. You’ve grown into a proper huntsman all on your own! I’m proud of you!

Jaune: Aw, thanks dad…!

Papa Arc: But you’re a man, now, Jaune. And that means you’re responsible for satisfying your woman!

Jaune: Dad, ew!

Papa Arc: What I’m about to teach you is sacred Arc knowledge handed down through the generations from father to son. Listen well, boy, and you’ll have eight children of your own before you know it!

Jaune: Uh, actually dad, Pyrrha wants to focus on her career so we agreed to use protection for now.

Papa Arc: “Protection?” Like wearing your armor in the bedroom to spice things up?

Papa Arc: Ha! You young people and your new-age experimentation!

Jaune: Dad, that’s not-

Papa Arc: *hands Jaune a thick book titled “Fatherly Advice: The Arc Guide to Becoming a Father” and sets up a chalkboard* No time to lose, kiddo! Now pay attention because there’s going to be a test!

[spahhzy]

Papa Arc: So you say you love my son, but how do I know you love him?

Neo: Oh, dearest father in law, have I ever told you the story of the 'Pineapple woman'?

Papa Arc: The 'Pineapple woman'? No, what's that?

Neo: Their was a woman who laid her hands on my love, your son, once.

Papa Arc: Really, what did you do? Beat her up?

Neo let's out a silent chuckle as she crossed one leg over the other, all the while a champagne glass was in her hand, taking a small sip she continued.

Neo: No, physical pain was far too easy for her. People heal from that, you know how they say; 'fear not those who can kill the body but cannot kill the soul' .

Papa Arc: So you...killed her soul?

Neo: You'd be surprised to hear how ubiquitous pineapples are within our world... We never really notice cause we don't look for them.

Neo takes another sip of her champagne.

Neo: But once you start looking (smirks), they're everywhere.

Papa Arc: What are you talking about?

Neo: People are ignorant to the fact at how closely we tread how thin the line is between sanity and insanity.

Papa Arc just looks at her with an eyebrow raised.

Neo: Now, of course... I pushed those boundaries with that would be thief, and it all started when I placed a single pineapple in front of her porch, of course, when she opened her doors she is confused but only for a couple of seconds, she actually took the pineapple in and even ate it.

Papa Arc: So you...poisoned the pineapple.

Neo just gives another silent giggle.

Neo: Nope, as I said, a physical malady would be far too easy for this woman... instead, she would find with increasing frequency pineapples at places she would always visit.

Papa Arc: Uh what?

Neo: You see, the mind is an expert at pattern recognition. So exquisitely so that it can find patterns that aren't even there!

Neo: So if you want to suggest a pattern, all the mind needs is a push in the right direction, and it shall find a path on its own.

Papa Arc: O-okay, so what did you do?

Neo: What I did was simple, really. I would place a pineapple like I did with her porch, but instead, I would place it in her locker or her favorite bench. I remember even putting it on her windowsill in her dorm once. She did a double glance, but within that second, I made sure it wasn't there. All to suggest to her mind that she~

Papa Arc: Was going insane... my god.

Neo: Yes~. Funny enough, I no longer had to place pineapples anymore like I said there everywhere in our world. We just never see them because we don't look for them. Seek, and you shall find~

Neo took another sip this one a bit long and dragged out as Papa Arc just wondered what the hell his son got himself engaged to.

Neo: annnd oh did my girl seek~

Neo: It was by pure chance really that her five year anniversary for her work was coming up, and what did her company give her for her loyalty... a fruit basket with a pineapple as the center piece!

Papa Arc could only gulp at the crazed look on Neo's face.

Neo: I heard the breakdown was biblical. Of course, she lost her job, and then when she came home to gain comfort from her lover, I'm which the psychotic weight was too much for them to handle, they broke up, she was all alone and so she tried to find comfort within her family and they cut ties as well cause nothing she said made sense!

Neo: So now she was all alone in this world, and I knew this was my perfect chance to deliver the final blow in which it came in the form of a strong courageous man, a white knight, nothing like that of my sweet Jaune but a sweet heart still.

Neo: He whispered sweet nothings in her ear. Nothing but pure acceptance, no judgment for all her shortcomings. Loving her for who she is~

Neo: And at night, when they did what lovers do, oh, how surprised was she to hear that his safe word was...

A dark and evil smile stretched across Neo's face.

Neo: Pineapple.

Papa Arc eyes widened.

Neo: I hear that the crime scene was quite hellish... two huntsman couldn't even contain their lunch!

Neo: I unraveled her at the seams...funny that all it took was a pineapple.

Papa Arc: W-welcome to the family!

Just then, Jaune walks in.

Jaune: Oh hey hun, hey dad, oh here I brought us some snacks.

Jaune pulled out a small zip lock bag containing some...

Jaune: Want some pineapples, dad?

Papa Arc just paled.

Papa Arc: Uh, no, son, actually I gotta go. Your mom needs some help with a thing. Bye!

Papa Arc briskly got up and walked away much to Jaune's confusion but he just shrugged all the while Neo leaned her head onto Jaune's shoulder and sigh in contentment as she reached in to zip lock bag of pineapple slices, she giggled once more.

Truly, it was funny.