always-sleeepy-headd - Tumblr blog

always-sleeepy-headd · 4 months

Text

Idk this was labeled as chicken pox in my google docs but it's Underswap meeting Dream kinda but it's dreamberry and amazing

Summary:

Basically Underswap accidentally meets Dream at an unconventional time and also Swap being not mentally well a little bit. Dream too. Plus, they are engaged by the end!!

Sans has been gone so often recently.

They all noticed it, Alphys, Undyne, Papyrus, Chara, hell even Temmie realized.

On top of that he hasn't been following the script he was set on during and after resets. It just started off simple, looking distracted, skipping over dialogue.

But now, he has managed to miss entire scenes he was supposed to be in. He has started responding in insanely different ways, he has... stopped caring about what the monsters of snowdin thought of him.

That was one of Sans's main things, he would exclaim about how cool he was to hide his own insecurities.

Now he... he seemed so much more distracted, so much so that Papyrus had gone to even Chara about it.

He had this sort of... untouchable aura that he'd never had to him before.

Sans was currently missing from the group right before the monsters break the barrier, he wasn't there during the Temmie fight either. Everyone began to feel uneasy, whether they knew why or not.

"Papyrus...? Where is your brother?" Alphys asked slowly in an attempt to keep herself and everyone else calm.

"I don't know." Papyrus confesses, a sigh ringing out from what mimics a throat. "Sans has been so... strange recently."

The air settled in a tense fog before Alphys let out a frustrated groan, "First he stops showing up at his sentry station in Snowdin, doesn't show up for cooking lessons, hasn't shown up for training and now he's nowhere to be found again?!"

Everyone who knew Sans had to admit that was strange, he was a hard worker and very motivated. Papyrus knew this the best and Sans's newfound disappearances worry him to no end.

Chara spoke up, "I've seen him a total of two times, once for him to briefly attempt to explain the puzzles and second to fight him at the edge of Snowdin. He seemed to be in a hurry both times."

"That is... s-strange based on the things I've heard of him from P-Papyrus." Undyne shyly added, the absence of Sans to comment on them knowing each other felt wrong, even if they knew it to be so or not.

"Yeah! Sans is a hard worker and a relatively happy guy, it doesn't make sense for him to just abandon everyone for hours at a time." Alphys said, crossing her arms in confusion. "He also has unwavering loyalty deep embedded in his bones, it doesn't make any sense."

"This... Sans is close with you Alphys, yes?" The Queen asked, she put a hand on Alphys' shoulder, "Surely he'll have an explanation."

"Maybe so... but this isn't like him at all. I'm... worried." Alphys coffessed, biting her lip in distress.

"This Sans of yours seems to be a good character and quite strong from what I hear, I'm sure he'll be fine." Asgore said in an attempt to console Alphys and probably Papyrus, who for once wasn't smiling.

Suddenly, there was a loud pop and the sound of two voices, they appeared to be arguing over something. The monster's heads all turn towards the noise and suddenly two skeletons come into view, one recognizable as their very own Sans yet the other, dressed in yellow, was unfamiliar.

Sans and this unidentified skeleton were arguing over what was now more clearly made out to be... the difference between affect and effect?

The monsters stood uncomfortably for a moment, watching the duo argue before Queen Toriel cleared her throat. The pair cease their squabbling at once, the yellow one gasping and muttering an apology, bowing to The Queen.

Sans, however, while stopping did not even acknowledge Queen Toriel's existence, eyes still trained on the yellow skeleton.

"No worries, not worries at all, it just seemed you two would never stop if I hadn't intervened." Queen Toriel said, smiling at the yellow skeleton, the skeleton smiled back.

"Yes, well, that may be true." The skeleton sighed, a melodic chuckle escaping his mouth. "But your Sans and I would have resolved it eventually." The skeleton gave a look that came off as almost mischievous to the group, one Sans simply huffed at, a smile finding its way to his face.

"Now, I must ask, who are you two? I've gathered that you," Queen Toriel pointed to Sans, "are Papyrus's brother but I have no knowledge of the other skeleton."

"My name is Dream! I am your friend's... what are we?" Dream stopped mid-conversation to ask Sans a question, one that incited confusion and amusement around them. Not only in the ones unaware but in Sans too, as he began to laugh.

"You're my best friend Dream, and basically my boss." Sans said, a sparkle lit his eyes that they hadn't quite seen before, it made his usual smiles seem terribly forced compared to this.

"Yeah I thought so but sometimes you get really mad at me." Dream huffed, putting a hand on his hip.

Sans looked at Dream with a hint of mischief in his eyes, "Maybe if you wouldn't be crazy I wouldn't be mad."

Dream gasped, "I am so level-headed, just occasionally a little violent."

"Occasionally?"

"Oh you don't even get to talk, you tried to fight some random guy at the bar three weeks ago!"

"Dream he grabbed your waist and tried to get you to swallow a drugged drink. If you'd have let me I would have dusted him."

"I wasn't going to let him, I can handle myself you know? Besides, even if he had managed to drug me he wouldn't have killed me."

"No, because he would have done something much worse, Dream."

While the duo argue, the group watch the scene unfold. All of what Sans had just said felt uncharacteristic of him, especially any talk of murder.

"You don't know that."

Sans wasn't even wearing his battle body, he was wearing a simple black sleeveless turtleneck, he had on a blue coat over it and had on dark blue cargo pants.

"I know if anyone tries to drug you it's because they want to do something to you."

Sans and Dream stood very close to each other, almost brushing arms or hands at any given moment, it was strange as Sans usually stood at a distance from others.

"Maybe but that doesn't change the fact that you genuinely wanted to kill that guy."

Dream had an elegance to him they'd never seen before, his voice was a perfect tenor and slid off of his tongue almost musically. His steps seemed to be in time and the way he moved was delicate.

"I wouldn't say that... I just wanted to... cancel his subscription a little early."

Yet he seemed... as if he had power just radiating off of him.

"Swap! That's literally just murder."

They seemed to complement each other well despite what seemed to be constant bickering.

"Literally okay then, I wanted to murder him but you didn't want me too so it didn't happen." Sans had a look of frustration lining his face but it seemed playful enough.

Again, The Queen cleared her throat, again the two looked sheepishly at her. "Well, it's amazing to meet you both, I believe all of us are quite confused and I'm sure you are as well with the barrier open."

The pair stiffened, seemingly only now realizing the barrier had been broken.

"Goodness, we lost track time!" Dream exclaimed, his hands coming to his mouth in shock and Sans can't help but snicker slightly to the confusion of everyone.

"Y- You didn't feel the barrier break? It was shocking!" Undyne stutters out, fiddling with her hands.

"Oops." Sans shrugged, his behavior was becoming increasingly worrying.

"Maybe we should sit down for a cup of tea?" Asgore suggested, a light smile blooming on his concerned face.

Dream nervously started to pick at his glove, glancing at Sans as if questioning what to do. "The barrier's broken, aren't you guys excited to see the outside world? Surely you must go..." Dream said, grabbing Sans's arm in an attempt to push him ahead of Dream to his friends and family.

"Oh you must come with us!" The Queen exclaimed, "You are a friend of a friend, you are welcome to join us, in fact I insist!"

"O- Oh! I uhm." Dream was almost startled by the offer, he looked as if he were to decline until Sans simply grabbed his arm and smiled.

"Thank you, we will join you." Swap said, pulling Dream's arm to the group.

They then ask Chara if they have anything else to do before they leave as they normally would, Chara said they did and left the barrier area.

As the human left the attention was quickly pointed to Sans and his friend, who were standing in the spot Sans normally would be next to Alphys and Papyrus. They stood very close together, their hands brushed up against the others.

"So... Sans, where have you been recently?" Alphys interrupted the deafening silence.

"I was... busy? I don't know, I've been dealing with a lot of stuff recently that couldn't be put off." Sans shrugged, he seemed distracted.

Dream sighed, "I'm sorry, it's probably my fault." He put a hand on his cheek as he spoke, he looked so... ethereal.

"Nah, if I didn't want to I wouldn't." Sans said with an almost emptiness compared to his usual way of speaking, he put a hand on Dream's shoulder.

Dream smiled up at him, Sans couldn't help but smile back, he exhaled in a fond kind of way.

"So... Sans, you've never talked about your friend here." Papyrus said, his tone was casual but Sans knew it was full of distrust.

"Relax, Dream is practically harmless, unless you piss him off too badly that is." Sans snickered at that last bit, his hand had drifted away from Dream's shoulder and back to where it was almost brushing Dream's hand.

"Oh please." Dream rolled his eyes but they still were filled with a childlike joy. "You said it yourself, I can barely harm a fly."

"Says the one who threw a full bottle of wine at my head one time." Sans deadpanned and Dream almost jumped at the accusation swatting at Sans's shoulder.

"Oh shush, I missed, and you called me a cum slut so it was deserved." At Dream's response Sans let out a flurry of giggles and snickers, the pair had forgotten they had five pairs of eyes on them at the moment.

"I'm honestly surprised either of us remember that I think I had like ten shots of like hard liquor." Sans said, rubbing his head, possibly attempting to remember that night better.

"I remember literally like nothing after that point I was super blackout drunk it was crazy."

Just as someone was about to interject, the human came back and made their presence clear. "I'm back! Let's go to the surface!" As Chara had little to no idea what the conversation that Sans and Dream had been having was, they were just excited to get to the surface... again.

Everyone just tried to pretend that nothing was wrong, they were going to see the surface! They got to finally, finally see the place that their human Chara had come from, meet the people whose ancestors maimed and banished monsters to the underground.

Finally see the stars.

...

Walking out was nothing like any of them could have ever imagined, with the exception of a few. The sun was setting just below the horizon, they stood in awe at what had been withheld from them all their lives.

...All but Sans and Dream.

Sans looked almost depressed looking out on the horizon, it was terribly noticeable. Dream stood next to him, he grabbed Sans's hand and gave it a squeeze.

Watching them, it felt... romantic.

After watching the sun go down Sans's supposed 'best friend' quickly made an excuse to leave, he then rushed off mumbling a few curses under his breath for letting himself stay for so long. They half expected the pair to kiss goodbye but they didn't even hug, simply fist bumping and giggling about it afterward.

They tried to interrogate Sans afterward but it was like a switch turned in his mind, he went back to normal and would only answer questions about Dream in very cryptic ways.

...

"Sans?" Undyne considered speaking, she was unsure if Sans would even answer the question. "Who was that Dream guy?"

It had been years at this point and never heard of Dream again, as if he'd simply come not to exist.

"Huh?" Sans asked, looking up from his phone confused.

"That quote and quote 'friend' of yours that rushed off right as we got to the surface?" Alphys interjected and Sans flushed slightly which was strange.

"He... uh... Oh goodness, how do I even tell you this?" Sans cringed, the room had almost fallen silent apart from the clacking in the kitchen from Asgore washing the dishes.

"Is he alright?" Papyrus asked, a concerned look for his brother falling onto his face.

"Yes! Yes... just uhhh..." Sans rubbed the back of his head awkwardly.

Everyone nodded their heads at him expectantly, and Sans let out a sigh.

"Okay I'm just gonna say it!" Sans took a deep breath, "He's my finance."

And then in a blink Sans flushed and then was gone.

Papyrus and Alphys share a glance and say in union, "Shortcut." and let out a sigh.

Both of them have been subjected to such treatment from Sans quite often.

Notes:

AND THEN THEY ALL REALIZED SWAP WAS GETTING AMARREID AND FREAKED THE END

23 notes · View notes

always-sleeepy-headd · 4 months

Note

Okay, random asf question buut, who's the top??? (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)

Error doesn’t understand 😔😔😔

(It’s def Swap)

5 notes · View notes

always-sleeepy-headd · 4 months

Text

crackships go brrrr (they have the same voice actor)

fresh ink by @/comyet

2K notes · View notes

always-sleeepy-headd · 4 months

Text

besties

2K notes · View notes

always-sleeepy-headd · 4 months

Text

DreamBerry Headcanons!!!!

They're dumb, like really dumb about how they communicate with each other

Dream and Swap are attached at the hip, they're always together. some people (Nightmare) may call that codependence but they just work better together! They swear!

They're a bad influence on eachother but in the sense where they want to impress each other with something dumb but manage to freak the other out.

Ink didn't know they were dating until they got engaged.

In most of my Dreamberry AU ideas they're engaged and couldn't get married because of the war and stuff sooo

I feel like I could do a really good truce AU with this concept, where like no one knew and it's just really fluffy and cuteness. (I don't write fluff like ever so it might be a challenge to add no angst lol)

They both have some unsolved mental problems that neither of them can manage to fix very well lol but they manage when they have each other (So cuteness)

Ink is constantly third wheeling and doesn't even realize it, Swap and Dream don't mind it much though lol

They aren't as physically affectionate as they think they are, neither of them are particularly avoidant of touch or crave too much. (That is until Dream gets his hands on the wine.)

reading this they sound a little boring but they're like the best power couple ever like they work so well.

Their codepenace is actually bad though, being without each other is stressful but imagine what would happen if one of them were to be seriously injured or even killed in battle, the other would lose their shit.

That said their relationship doesn't really seem obsessive or possessive on the outside but they feel that they're just an extension of each other and losing one of them would be like losing half of themselves.

Dream is more possessive than obsessive, he isn't crazy about it obviously but again, the thing where if Swap got horribly hurt he would be fully capable of killing whoever did so in the moment.

Swap is more obsessive, again, you wouldn't even be able to notice, but he has Dream's schedule memorised and will spy on him even going as far as to stalk him around.

They joke fight like, a lot but people can't tell they're joking

So basically people think they like hate each other lol

52 notes · View notes

always-sleeepy-headd · 4 months

Text

my tabs are mostly half written fanfic I need to write this is getting out of hand

Also my inbox broke 😔😔😔

I contacted support already lol I'm just waiting now

#undertale aus #au sans #undertale au #undertale multiverse #utmv #fanfic #fanfiction #relatable #random #idk #silly #sans au fanfic #google docs

4 notes · View notes

always-sleeepy-headd · 4 months

Text

Had this idea and suddenly decided to draw it for some reason

I’m a writer not a drawer so uhhhh ✨✨✨✨

23 notes · View notes

always-sleeepy-headd · 4 months

Text

Uhhhh HEADCANONS ABOUT SANS AU GO

Nightmare probably calls Cross sexy unironically but not in front of him and Killer tells Cross but Cross won't believe him hehe

Swap def joined the Stars bc he thought Dream was hot (Depends on the AU LOL)

The entire council has been trying to figure out what the stars relationship is bc they'll get into a fight over cheese and then flirt for like seventeen minutes until they remember they were fighting over cheese and continue to fight over cheese

Swap and Error are ALWAYS best friends.

I feel like Error likes to hop back and forth with which side he supports, (in AUs with the balance he goes to the side that's losing currently) like he knows where both the Star Sanses base and the Bad Sanses base are.

Cross has a really bad spying problem, like, super bad. You'll be yapping to him and he'll bring up an ex you had 7 years ago like it was a normal thing for him to know about.

Nightmare thought Killer was crazy until he met Ink (TRUCE AU!!)

No like seriously, Ink pulls so much bullshit and Dream and Ink are just like, fine with it??? TWELVE COWS???

Cross being scared of cows is completely unknown until one noms onto his shirt during a mission and he SHRIEKED.

Killer now thinks it's funny to give him cow shaped gifts all the time, while Cross isn't scared of those he finds it incredibly frustrating.

Cross is a people pleaser, you won't catch him saying to no to ANYBODY.

Dream is... really, really, scary. Like not tradisional scary, scary like I'll tell your mom what you said on october 15 2021 scary.

Swap has no gag reflex, and I know what you're thinking you nasty bois, anyway Dream has a video of Swap deep throating a pickle.

Swap is vegan, not cause he doesn't like meat he regularly eats vegetarian meatballs but because he really hates the idea of animals being in enclosed spaces for their whole life.

Dust always smells like cigarettes but whenever Nightmare is like, I told you no smoking allowed?? Nightmare can never find any cigarettes on him or in his room or ANYWHERE. (he looked literally everywhere including Killer and Horror's room bc Killer would do smth like that and Dust and Horror are like besties)

Cross is Dust's dealer, does he feel a little guilty? Yeah. Does he truly care? No. (He has slowly started to wane Dust off of his addiction by lowering the amount of nicotine in the cigarettes he gets.)

Cross is vegetarian bc he just doesn't like the taste of meat lol it makes him feel sick.

In truce AUs Swap, Cross, and Killer immediately get along- like scary fast.

Nightmare cannot for the life of him figure out the relationship of the stars in truce AUs and I imagine the monsters in the council would like kinda bond with him over that LOL

Horror smells like steak and Cross gags half the time he's around him and Horror feels so bad lol

Why does Horror smell like steak you ask? Who knows.

Swap has little glow in the dark stars arranged to look like actual constellations on his ceiling.

Dream and Swap stargaze a LOT, like more than sleeping, it's actually becoming a problem lol like Dream won't die from lack of sleep but he functions WAY better with sleep and Swap has been forced into naps by his own body before. (Passing out 😍😍😍)

Dust and Cross have the most wholesome relationship they're so cute like they'll literally cuddle.

Horror and Dust have a similar relationship but Horror and Dust are still much different bc Horror is like... bold I guess you could say but Cross is like... not. (He's shy boi)

Killer and Cross are like, in way different relationship though, Killer is a troublemaker and Cross is a rule follower but Cross also breaks under peer pressure so they end up being bad and getting into trouble which Nightmare is so confused about and usually is just like 'Killer you are SUCH a bad influence what.'

Cross and Error have a good relationship, like they're friends and Nightmare doesn't understand how Cross did that.

Dream and Cross either HATE each other or are best friends there is no universe where they could be neutral about each other for more than 3 weeks.

Killer... has a flirting problem.

Dust and Killer's relationship mostly consists of fighting and accusations but also that's just how they show love to each other.

Okay, so I have another thing on Cross and Dust, basically Dust either thinks Cross is self centered and stuck up or he thinks he's not fit for the bad sanses based on his mercy (both of those end in the earlier headcanon hehe)

Ink and Cross probably become friends again rather quickly because Cross can't stay mad at him for whatever reason but they do have an emotional reconcile

Nightmare and Ink have a funny relationship lol basically Nightmare is kinda terrified of Ink and Ink thinks Nightmare is fun to mess with and usually that ends with Dream trying not to laugh his ass off while Nightmare rants to him about how scary Ink is. (truce AU)

Nightmare is concerned for Swap lol like fr tho, Swap is like kinda not good at coping with things and he does it in a bad way.

AAAA anyway I supposably have ADHD because it's HEREDITARY APPARENTLY

Yeah lol I thought I had it before and now I'm almost positive sobbing

82 notes · View notes

always-sleeepy-headd · 4 months

Text

Some sort of emo Cross shit idk what

Summary:

The Bad Guys were never very accepting of people, Cross however, they straight up didn't like. The bullying goes on and Cross can barely take it, he uses knives and lighters to ground himself but... he goes to far.And passes out, only for Killer to find him.Aka, the story of how Cross became the gang's favorite emo.

Notes:

I'm not sure if I like this story or not, I got a little lazy at the end.

Also I'm romantically in love with Cross if you can't tell with how much torture I put him through

________

Cross wasn't happy.

Far from it actually.

Not that it mattered, he only lived to serve now.

Cross wasn't treated well either.

Not that it bothered him, he deserved it for all he's done.

Every member of The Bad Sanses treated him horribly, or well, mostly.

He has seen kindness through their eyes, mostly directed at someone other than him but on occasion he's seen it towards him.

Nightmare, he was someone that could stand Cross.

Killer seemed not to have an opinion on Cross, maybe that was due to his soul but it made Cross's life a little easier.

Nightmare had touched Cross before, it startled him and he jumped backwards, almost throwing up then and there. That was a time Cross got a look of sympathy - dare he say a look of understanding.

Killer has engaged in conversations with him - that Cross with admit were in fact mostly one way, but he's not to blame for being too scared to speak to someone that if you gave any information to will immediately relay it back to Nightmare, he'd rather just talk to Nightmare if that was how it was.

Dust doesn't speak to him, the best he'll get is a glare or a shove. (Last time Dust shoved him he almost went into panic mode because Dust brushed his stomach and that was one of the especially bad places to touch him, too... Intimate.)

Cross doesn't have an opinion on Dust other than that.

Horror is so nice... to everyone except him, he always feeds him though so he can't be too bad.

Cross has a bad relationship with food, he goes out of his way to hide it though.

Horror clearly wants Cross away, he doesn't know why but will respect it he supposes.

Cross spends his days in the training room or avoiding everyone the best he can in the libraries scattered across the manor, never hiding in the main one because Nightmare spends most of his time there.

He's read hundreds of random books since he's arrived here, it's funny because back in his AU he never had time to realize his passion for books and surprisingly - science.

He's taken to reading books about random scientific ideas trying to explain the unexplainable, it's beginning harder and harder not to add something to that heater to keep it from breaking always.

Cross hates it when the heater breaks.

He recently has been going around and just fixing things if nobody's around, he refuses to anywhere near that kitchen in fear of Horror though.

He has fixed that damn heater about eleven times in the past three weeks, Nightmare has caught onto it by now, he fixes it so quickly that no one usually even notices it's out.

Cross hates the cold, he always can tell when the heater turns off because of even the slightest temperature drop, he's extremely sensitive to it.

Cross isn't the type to complain though.

Not now, not ever.

Which brings us to today, and Cross's newest, but at the same time, oldest problem.

Self harm.

He, per his usual routine, was walking through the halls of Nightmare's manor in his usual defeated way, headed right to the training room to overexert himself some more when he felt the strong urge of pain call to him.

His arms felt a little too cold.

He stopped dead in his tracks as the screeching for a lighter to cross over his bones felt more and more welcoming and kind.

It was so loud that it drowned out even Chara, the demon.

He needed to burn it all.

He turned around, he wouldn't deal with them today, he needs to cut and burn it all out.

And that he does, Cross walks back to his room, the feeling of icy death crawling up his bones again, the heater must have broken.

He'll deal with it later.

When he finally gets to his door, the castle is freezing, a cold Autumn's day upon them. He pushes his door open, not caring for the loud thunk it created as it slammed onto the wall opposite.

He almost falls over at the gust of wind, but that might have been an overstatement.

He closes his door with a slow unsteady hand, collapsing onto the back of the door as it closes. It was so cold, so, so, cold.

He wanted to stab himself right then and there.

Cross crawls to his box of... special things, it consisted of lighters galore, god forbid one stopped working and he didn't have another one. He also had knives of all shapes and sizes, as well as some products for if he went too far and was worried of an infection.

Hydrogen Peroxide, cleaning wipes, the high end stuff that doctors would use, and several bandages and bandaids.

He slips his knife out, pulling up the sleeves of his only protection to the freezing cold outside, he gasps as a breeze hits his bare bone. Staring

at his arm and the many healing wounds and scars, he pressed the knife into it, a sigh of relief escaped his lips, he was so tired; so, so tired of the bullying.

He presses it firmer and drops - little prickles of blood, began to form around the blade.

Cross looks at it and scowls, it's sad he cannot think of a way to handle this that would have him sustain less physical wounds, but he is yet to find something that helps the itch as this does.

He's pathetic.

Disgusting.

And a waste of space.

His father taught him that at least, if anything at all.

Ah, his father, the reason he has this brat Chara whispering insults and the occasional concern, which has been happening quite a little too often for Cross's liking.

The man who abused him through closed doors and behind the prying eyes of society.

The scars on his body - his body not theirs. The scars on his pelvis, not some normal scar that he would've gotten from being in the royal guard.

Purposeful.

Horrible.

Like him, he supposed.

He adds another to the collection.

He wants to vandalize himself, what's the point in not if he's already broken? His father already destroyed what was left of his fragile ego.

Cross suddenly feels the strong urge to burn himself, maybe cauterize his wound, so he takes the lighter and burns.

Tears fell down his face from the pain, he felt perverted in a way, the pain hurt so strangely, so lovely.

Suddenly, he stands up and is immediately hit by an extreme wave of nausea and dizziness. He's freezing cold yet burning hot at the same time, he stumbles.

He falls.

His head hits the corner of his desk and it all turns black.

...

Nightmare wasn't stupid, he knew how the others were treating Cross, yet he felt he couldn't - or more shouldn't interfere. Nightmare was however unaware of Cross's self harm, Nightmare didn't know everything.

He didn't know the extent of the bullying, he didn't know the effect it had on Cross, he didn't even know that Cross was capable of doing the things he does to himself.

But he sure noticed when Cross didn't come down for dinner.

The dinner table was silent, Horror glancing at his empty seat occasionally, Dust glaring at his seat believing Cross was being selfish for wasting such food that Horror poured his intent into making. And Killer? Killer was playing with his food with his fork, per usual. Nightmare knew of Killer's strange way of punishing himself when he knew Nightmare was keeping a close eye on him. He couldn't hurt himself in secret, maybe he could hurt himself plainly out in the open.

"I hate to be the party pooper," Killer says, looking bored. "But our newbie isn't exactly where he's supposed to be right now."

"We noticed." Dust grumbles and Nightmare sighs.

"I suppose someone should check on him." Nightmare says, because surely, that thump earlier was Killer doing something stupid and not him.

"I'll go." Killer says quickly, it was an excuse from the table, and he was nicer to Cross than Dust and Horror.

Again, Nightmare sighs, simply waving Killer off, planning to deal with him later.

Killer skips out of the room, humming a tune that was almost a mix of 'Frosty The Snowman' and 'Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer.' It was that time of year for him already.

The walk through the halls to the living quarters was a long one, not that Killer minded, he liked walking in the halls, they always seemed to twist in a new way each time he walked through them, as long as he had been here for.

When he reached Cross's room, he leaned over and knocked thrice, a smile on his face and deep despair in his soul that he couldn't quite reach.

When Cross didn't even make a noise, the smile fell. He was certainly in his room because that's what Nightmare had said, hadn't he? Killer couldn't remember, but he was almost sure Cross was in there, and he had heard a thump earlier...

"Cross?" Killer yells for him, keeping a light and playful voice despite his confusion. "It's dinnertime!"

Still no noise came from his room.

"I'm going to come in there if you don't answer." Killer says, pressing his ear up against the door to see if he could hear anything at all. Killer sighs when there's no noise, "Fine, I'm coming in!"

He opens the usually locked door, and walks a few paces in before gasping. "Fuck! What the hell happened?!" He says, shock spreading over his face before he rushes to Cross's side. "Cross?!" He yells, shaking him, "Can you hear me?!"

Cross didn't respond and a sinking feeling set deep in Killer's soul, "Jesus, you better not die on us randomly..." He says, frantically looking around for something to stop the bleeding in his head before noticing the box.

"... What the hell is this..." He mumbled, looking through the lighters and knives - all sharpened. He grabs some of the bandages but gives up in untangling them in a second. Then he notices Cross's arms.

"Holy shit..."

...

Everyone at the table was sitting in silence, Dust and Horror were whispering to each other when Nightmare gasps.

"Nightmare...?" Horror mumbles in question.

"Killer is... in extreme distress." He says standing up quickly, "The situation may be more serious than we thought."

"What do you mean?" Dust says, standing up as well.

"I'm not sure," Nightmare sighs, "But Killer is really screwed up over something, I must make sure they're okay."

"We're coming with you." Dust says, Horror standing up next to him with a nod.

"Hurry." Nightmare says, and the three rush out of the room and through the halls to Cross's room.

When they got there they found the door wide open with Killer mumbling a low curse. "Killer?" NIghtmare says, a sense of urgency deep in his voice.

"Fuck- Nightmare get in here!" Killer says, with the same urgency.

Walking in the sight they saw startled them all, Cross was on the floor with a large head wound, his arms covered in blood and healing wounds that seemed to all be cauterized.

"Holy crap..." Dust mumbles and Horror looks on in horror. (Whoops)

"Shit." Nightmare says, before running over to Cross and checking him over. "He's... fine, well, not fine but this isn't fatal if we stop the bleeding now."

Nightmare sighs and picks Cross up bridal style, Cross, who's still out cold, flinches and instinctively leans away from his touch. Suddenly, it hits everyone how fragile Cross is.

He looks so small in Nightmare's grip so... traumatized. Like he went through stuff even they haven't.

Honestly that's what made Dust not like him so much, he had even worse things going on for himself than Dust did. That scared him.

Horror never liked Cross because of him not finishing his food, he thought he must be ungrateful.

"What happened when you got here Killer?" Nightmare asks, trying to keep his composure although he begins to pull Cross closer which provided Cross no comfort and only to start to shake gently.

"He was on the ground just as you found him..." Killer says, his voice betraying his worry, which Nightmare found strange because Killer mostly pulled slightly mean pranks on Cross.

Actually Nightmare found everyone's reaction strange, Horror and Dust seemed to have a resentment of Cross yet they look as if Cross is their close friend.

"I- I did find that there was a box... it had the stuff that Cross had been using to do- do that to himself." He continues.

"Stars..." I grumble, "How didn't I notice, I should have known." I say mostly to myself.

"I'm sure it was our fault." Dust says plainly, he sounded really upset with himself for some reason, maybe it was the fact he made someone else go through the same problem he himself suffers with, maybe it was Papyrus tormenting him about doing it, maybe he was comparing himself to one of the girls in "Mean Girls" that Killer made them all watch.

Cross had laughed several times during that movie, he only laughed at the parts that were supposed to be serious too. Killer looked very proud.

"..." Nightmare can't bring himself to respond, to reassure him of something he doesn't know true. "I.. couldn't tell you. I noticed the bullying but I was unaware of the extent of it that he would bring himself to do this."

Horror suddenly looks ashamed, "I... should have been more open..." He mumbles and Dust puts his hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry big guy we all should have." Dust says, wincing slightly.

They stay quiet as they bring Cross to the medical room, regret heavy in the air.

...

Slowly, Cross blinks his eyes open, he can't remember how he got in the medical room, he supposes he failed at something again like the stupid monster he is.

That was, until he realized his arms were patched up. "Shit." He mumbles, realizing he's probably going to get punished for not controlling himself and jeopardizing whatever plans Nightmare could have had for him for the day.

"Oh? Cross you're awake." Nightmare says, keeping out the urgency he felt when he spoke. "You had everyone worried."

"Somehow I doubt that." Cross says under his breath but Nightmare can hear him loud and clear.

"I would too if I didn't experience it." Nightmare says with a sigh, "They all looked super remorseful..."

...

To be completely honest Cross didn't expect what happened to happen after this. Everyone began to be so much kinder to him, he expected it to not last but holy shit.

Eventually, Nightmare pulled the truth out of him of what was happening, and more, of his father's abuse of the past and of his... eating problem. Which was relayed to Horror and then Horror was so incredibly nice to him he cried.

Luckily it was only Horror who saw, and gave him the biggest bear hug.

He didn't know that would send Cross into panic mode, the poor guy. Nightmare felt his emotions and whisked him off immediately, having not seen Cross like this before. That's when Cross told Nightmare of his past with his father.

And the start of Nightmare's overprotectiveness.

I suppose that's the story of how Cross became the gang's favorite, and the one they feel they have to protect despite Cross being stronger than most of them.

22 notes · View notes

always-sleeepy-headd · 4 months

Text

Nightmare? Dream? Fuck that I choose Error

Summary:

Swap's smarter. Better. Stronger.

But they don't need to know.

Until he's fed up and bored at least.

Notes:

Inspired by https://archiveofourown.org/works/49249111 By https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReikoNatsume/pseuds/ReikoNatsume

_______

Swap wasn't like them.

Dream.

Ink.

Hell, even the Bad Sanses.

He was smarter.

Better.

That's why he walked the halls of both places without the other even batting an eye.

That's how he always does things.

He'll win no matter the cost.

Win what you may ask?

Attention, excitement, entertainment.

The multiverse is his playground, and he was gonna put it in its place.

...

Per usual, Swap was walking down the winding halls of Ink's forever changing house in the Doodle Sphere with no intent other than to ame the halls with boredom heavy in his eyes and soul. He walked for about a mile before ending up right where he began, just to see the path had changed again, he almost liked the ever changing nature of the Doodle Sphere, it calmed him in a strange sense.

"Oh! There you are Swap!" Ink giggles and runs over to him.

"Hi Ink! What's up?" Swap asks, mentally sighing at how strained he sounded. Ink didn't seem to notice of care though.

"Well, I was looking for you but you disappeared again! I don't understand how you know this place better than me, you walk around and just find the exact place you want to go!" Ink pouts, "It's absolutely no fair."

Swap laughs slightly, and then pats Ink's head a little. "I have just as much trouble, I just don't care where I'm going most of the time."

"UGHHH It's so annoying-" Ink seems to remember something and he ruffles through his scarf to find it. "Aha! I wanted to ask you how it went at Nightmare's?"

"I haven't gone yet Ink, he expects me there in..." Swap looks at the time and realizes he lost track when wandering. "Oh! Ten minutes from now, I guess it's a good thing you found me because I totally would've just kept wandering."

"Jeez, that could have been bad- Anyway are you sure you don't need help figuring out what to tell them? You always make it up on the spot and I imagine that can be scary..." Ink says, Swap had been spying for The Stars for a while now.

When Nightmare came up to ask him to spy for him in the Stars he told Ink and Dream, he quickly thought about how easy this would make everything for him.

So now he's 'spying' for both sides, Ink and Dream have no idea how he does it without getting caught and how quickly he gained Nightmare's trust is startling.

"Uhh, well I don't make it up on the spot, I have a very complicated system in my head that'll give them some information that is correct but a leave out parts of our plans that make it look like I had no idea about it and you or Dream are just acting impulsively." Swap sighs slightly, "It is a little stressful but it's really easy to lie to someone who thinks both of you are so incredibly stupid."

"Oh! Huh, I guess that makes sense. ... Actually! That's really smart! So they'll expect things to go one way while you still are trusted!"

"Yeah! Exactly, but I should get going now, Nightmare hates tardiness."

"Oh, alright! Be careful!"

Swap waved his goodbyes to Ink and climbed through a portal, Ink startles as he isn't used to Swap using portals to get around.

Sure was good that Nightmare taught him how though.

...

Swap enters the almost baren AU that the Bad Sanses reside in. It is covered in forest and at the center of it is a large castle where Nightmare's office is located, and it's where he's supposed to be three minutes from now.

Woops.

He really needs to manage his time better.

Swap begins to sprint down the the trail that leads to gigantic and terrifying castle that the Bas Sanses call home, then he realizes he could just teleport.

Woops.

I guess this is why Error calls him so many names.

catches his breath instead of spriting there and teleports outside of the office with a minute to spare, then decides it would be funny to bust in there at the very last moment, even if it costs him his life.

Right when the clock turns he shoves the door of Nightmare's office open, not realizing Cross trying not to laugh at him from around a corner.

Cross was pretty sure Nightmare was gonna kill Swap and Swap could have easily prevented it and just not stood in front of his door until the last second.

Luckily for Swap, he survived.

"... Hello Swap." Nightmare says, Killer was standing next to him with his usual pissy smile.

"You sure came in at the last moment." Killer says, his smile only growing more manic by the second.

"... I suppose." I say, as I have to be careful around someone as unpredictable as Killer.

Nightmare lets out a sigh, "Your report of what has happened with the Stars?" He says, going straight to the point.

"Something big is happening, I almost considered coming here sooner because of it." Swap says, weaving a lie so easily not even Nightmare would be able to tell. "I decided it would be okay to wait though... Nightmare, Dream plans to turn the tides of the war completely using this new AU, it was named a copy of Haventale and it's copy code is HGRJ3792. Haventale copies usually give large amounts of positivity anyway, but this copy seems to be different. It's inhabitants seem to have no emotion whatsoever, so when Dream went to scope it out his positivity gave them emotions that they have never felt before and they came to consider him a biblical God. Ink decided he wanted to milk this and turn things there way by using the inhabitants as missionaries, this will not only make the multiverse view Dream as all knowing but will completely drown out any other Gods of the multiverse, as if Dream was the main and most powerful. This would make it so much easier to spread positivity but also to make you look completely irrelevant."

Nightmare's face as Swap said this was absolutely priceless, even Killer seemed a little startled.

"... And how do you suggest we prevent this...?" Nightmare asks.

"Well, the plan has not yet been set into motion due to Dream's reluctance to use others for his own benefit, but Ink is utterly thrilled about this and I'm certain even if Dream refuses Ink will go behind his back and make it a reality. So simply you just need to eradicate the universe, these people are dangerous though, they've gotten a taste of freedom and would die for it." Swap says, Nightmare's shoulders untense slightly at the easy solution.

"Good, it seems you've thought a lot about this." Nightmare starts. "But won't Dream and especially Ink not only notice what we're doing and try to stop us, plus this will put you in a bad position?"

"Hm, well, quite simply I'll be fine, Dream and Ink suspect nothing of me. But it'll be hard to prevent them from attempting to stop you." Swap states then pauses. "I don't suppose I could make a distraction hm? It's quite easy to pull Ink's attention away from things... besides..." Swap smiles in a uncanny way that Nightmare blinks at, it slightly surprising him. "I have the perfect thing~"

"Well then," Nightmare smiles evilly, I suppose we'll need to set a date then."

...

Swap smiles as he leaves through his portal, it startles Nightmare slightly and it annoys him that Ink and Dream are just going all willy nilly and teaching everyone to use portals, it sure worked out for him in this case though.

Dream greets Swap as he gets back, and Swap realizes his still is doing the evil smile thing an laughs slightly.

"Hi Dream! I can't help but get into character when I'm over there." Swap says rubbing the back of his head.

"Oh it's fine! I'm just glad you're okay, I always get worried when you go there..." Dream says.

"Nope! Perfectly fine here! There is a BIG problem though!" Swap says, flinging his arms out to insinuate how bad it is.

"O- Oh? What is it?" Dream asks nervously.

"It's pretty bad, where's Ink?" Swap asks.

"He's over here." Dream says, grabbing Swap's arm and pulling him into the living room.

"Oh! Swap, you're back!" Ink says jumping to his feet.

"Yep! And Nightmare is planning something BIG!"

"Uh oh, what is it?" Ink asks, sitting back and down, he is quickly followed by Dream and Swap.

"Nightmare is planning a big attack on a Haventale AU copy, normally this would be mostly fine but this is a special Haventale. It's the communication hub for all Haventale's and Haventale has always been a big source of positivity right? So they plan to send a message to a bunch of Haventale copies that have contact with them and basically scare them ALL."

"What?!" Ink and Dream both say.

"I- I wasn't even aware that was a thing." Dream says.

"Me neither! But it's actually real I checked just to make sure." Swap says, he CAN'T let this plan fail, not after all his hard work.

"Well, do you know when?" Ink asks.

"Yes actually!"

...

Today was the day, Swap COULDN'T mess this up, he was counting on him.

He had gotten the message from Nightmare that they were leaving, Swap NEEDED Ink and Dream to be there NOW.

He rushed down the hall and into the living room where Ink and Dream were getting ready.

"We need to go NOW!" Swap says, and opens a portal to HGRJ3792.

Ink and Dream pile themselves into it, expecting nothing.

Perfect.

...

The Bad Sanses find themselves in an AU covered in forest.

"We just need to find where they're residing and destroy every last one, we should have a lot of time, Swap seemed very confident." Nightmare says, but Cross can't help but feel a lump him his throat, something was off.

They walked for a while until they heard feet pattering on the forest ground, someone was there.

"It smells like it's just two of them... I think we can take them..." Horror grumbles.

Nightmare was about to respond but the two forms leap out from the bushes with their weapons pointed at them.

"Nightmare! Stop this madness!" Dream yells.

Ink is standing with his Brush out next to him.

"What in the world?!" Nightmare hisses. "Is this some sort of set up?!"

"No? You were going to try to destroy this communication AU!" Ink yells.

"Communication AU?" Cross mumbles, startled.

"Yeah! You aren't going to spread negativity this way!" Ink says.

"You're trying to manipulate monsters into thinking you're their savior!" A pissed Dust yells.

"What... are you talking about...?" Dream asks lowering his weapon a little.

"What are you talking about?!" Killer yells.

"But... Swap said..." Ink mumbles.

"Boss.. do you think..?" Cross asks wide eyed.

"We've both been played..." Nightmare says in amazement, Swap had been tricking BOTH of their sides... but why?

"But- but-" Dream looks around. "Hey... where did Swap go?!"

"He tricked us both Dream, it's quite impressive.."

"NO! Swap would NEVER!" Ink says.

"Swap agreed to spy for me already behind your backs." Nightmare says.

"We knew about that! He didn't betray us, he spun the truth around to make it so he could lie to you while making it look like I was just changing plans!" Ink yells.

"Yet he's gone, and he lied, I don't feel any other lifeforms in this universe now that I've checked." Nightmare says. "You have to at least consider-" Nightmare was interrupted by a certain glitch.

"ThAt YoU'vE bEeN pLaYeD bItCh." Error laughs and everyone looks up in horror to see the God of Destruction with Swap holding on to his arm and giggling. "YoU sTuPiD fUcKs JuSt LiStEnEd ExAcTlY tO BeRrY wItHoUt EvEn BaTtInG aN EyE."

"Swap! I don't know what Error told you but it isn't true!" Ink attempts.

Swap giggles and hopped off the big branch he and Error were standing on to look cool.

"I've been working with Error this entire time silly! It's been fun messing with you though!" Swap says. "You made it SOOO easy, all I had to do is pull the innocent card and everyone just fell into my hands like putty!"

"No..." Dream whispered.

"Yep! I could control EXACTLY what you guys did and where you went! All had to do was make up some stories and have them so you guys collide while Error was busy at work!" Swap says.

"Doing what exactly...?" Cross slowly asks.

"Oh I an SO glad you asked, I distracted you so Error could easily keep the balance that you all keep destroying! It's a hard job for just one monster!" Swap can barely contain his excitement and Error's smile reflected just how much apricates Swap, even if it wasn't obvious to anyone there. "So, I guess you're wondering why we brought you here! Well, you guys have recently REALLY fucking up the balance, so you have two choices! This war ends right here and now by YOUR choice or by ours!"

"What are you talking about?!" Ink yells, his eyes darting back and forth from Error and Swap.

"Well, you dumbass's destroying things with your back and forth, so it's simple! No more trying to make more positivity and no more trying to make more negativity, also Ink, you need to stop making so many AUs and instead just let the multiverse take care of it." Swap says.

"So... you want us to have a... truce?" Cross asks.

"Exactly! I knew I liked you Cross." Swap says and Cross flushes in embarrassment, he isn't used to complement's at ALL.

"What are you going to do if we don't?" Dust asks.

"Kill you." Swap answered short and bittersweet.

Error snickers from up on his branch and jumps down.

"YoU fIlThY gLiTcHeS sHoUlD bE GlAd YoU HaVe BeRrY hErE pRoTeCtInG yOu, I wOuLd'Ve JuSt KiLlEd You." He says.

"It's your choice." Swap smiles in a controlling way, a way that you know that you better do what he says or he'll hurt you. badly.

Everyone looks around and then all come to an easy decision.

"I think we choose to live." Nightmare says, normally if it was just Swap saying this he'd laugh and laugh and laugh, but Error being in the mix meant that his words actually meant something, Error could easily kill all of them.

Dream and Ink nod.

"Good! I'm glad we could come to a decision as adults here." Swap smiles as Error wraps his arm around his waist and pulls him in for a kiss.

They loved each other and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

And that was exactly how they liked it.

48 notes · View notes

always-sleeepy-headd · 4 months

Text

Happy Birthday, Your Present Is Angst Because I'm Tired and Kinda Emo Inside

This was written for Cross's birthday ages ago and I'm only now posting it lol (Sorry!)

Summary:

It's Cross's birthday today, he wants to forget and he tries his hardest too. Although it never seems to work and just leaves him with more scars and more pain.

Cross is beginning to love that pain.

Notes:

Cross burns himself so if you don't think you can handle that I just wanted to let you know.

Also he purges and I know that's a sore spot for a lot of people including myself but I'm tiny bit of a masochist lol (I actually enjoy writing about things that have happened to me or to someone dear to me and projecting on my poor Crossyboo 😔✊)

Don't purge guys, it's not good and can seriously damage your body, and if you have before, I got you babes everything will be alright <3

Even if you're just going through a tough time right now remember everything is temporary, you and I, the world, sadness, you name it, we'll all make it through if we keep trudging on!

_________

Cross wasn't the type for celebrations, it made him nervous and want to hide under something while everyone just chatted it up like they weren't all dead.

He was sure nobody knew this year though, just like the last, and the one before that. A third unnoticed birthday is what he was hoping for when he checked the time this morning, he could go on with his usual day and hopefully not pass out again.

That was really close with Nightmare the other day, he was out training for an especially excessive time and Nightmare came in and had told him to take a break and Cross had barely registered him.

He had turned to the noise but all he heard was a ringing in his ears, he heard Nightmare's voice a second time and he was able to make it out then, "And take a shower or something."

As soon as he heard the door close he had stumbled and blacked out, it was only for barely a minute thankfully. When he got up he found himself on the floor and his heart beating quickly, thank the skies nobody had come in just then.

He had eventually managed to get up and take a shower before being called down to eat dinner, it was a very strange tradition for someone like the Bad Sanses, they always ate meals together. But honestly if you really think about it it makes sense, Horror needed to know everyone was eating, he could go into panic mode if not.

It also made it easier to figure out if something was wrong with someone, that's one of the reasons meals were dreaded in Cross's mind.

That and the fact he can barely handle eating the food, much less keeping it down, and don't get him wrong, Horror's an amazing cook... he just can't. Especially when he's already frustrated with himself.

He barely made it though dinner, Nightmare gave him a few looks but he must have chalked whatever it was up to low self worth and Cross overworking himself, which was what Nightmare thought were the only things wrong with Cross, making it so much easier for him to do what he does next.

Cross's nightly routine always starts hunched over a toilet throwing up his insides and silently crying while doing so, this was easy to do without Nightmare noticing because Dust almost always had at least a small freak out during this time of evening.

Then when he's done throwing up anything and everything he's eaten and kept down he collapses onto the floor and desperately rummages through his box of 'special' things, pulling out a lighter and lighting it across his bone.

The intensity of the heat calms him while at the same time making him restless, he needed something, something.

Anything.

He would burn and burn and he would even shed a few tears at the pain, just to do it again just to feel the heat of reality mix with fiction.

It was like a dream.

A terrible, awful, dream.

That would eventually bring him to today, he was putting on his overly complicated outfit again and would stare into the mirror as he splashed water on his face.

It was cold.

He wanted heat.

The pain of his burns hurt, he wanted more, more, anything for feeling and control, he would run them under cold water and this was the time of day Chara would say something to him. Chara would run off away from him to look for Killer to watch him play video games or mess with the others.

It was always along the lines of, "Cross, this is seriously getting bad," Or, "I think you should let that heal at least before doing it again..."

Cross didn't trust those words, not from Chara, not from anyone.

He walks down the stairs only to see an unhappy Nightmare and a on the verge of a panic attack Dust.

That was not a great thing to start his morning with, oh well he'll just ignore it at least means the attention will stay far away from him this morning.

Cross doesn't bother a good morning, he didn't feel like speaking. Nor did he really ever but that's life.

He walks into the kitchen to see how Horror's doing as he does every morning but Horror seems quite on nerve so Cross doesn't walk too far into the kitchen, it was a small gesture but very much noticed by the big guy.

"Good... morning Cross," Horror starts, sounding a little on edge, "The boss told me to keep everybody occupied this morning... although I know you usually train.. I was wondering if you'd help me out...?" He asks.

Cross was startled but he would never say no to someone asking for help, it's a habit he could never sway, he nodded but in a more 'are you sure?' way.

"Thanks... I asked Killer but... you know how he is..." Horror says, shuffling around, seemingly understanding Cross's not speaking as him not being up to conversation and handing him a bowl and some chocolate.

Cross gives him a questioning look, "Just... heat up the chocolate so it melts..."

"A-" Cross attempts but his voice fails him, "I- Is there a specific reason that I'm heating up... chocolate...?" Cross asks, they didn't usually even have chocolate in the house, let alone anything sugary but it seems Horror either had a stash or got this special to make something.

"Wanted... to make something." That was enough for Cross, he didn't care to question it any further, besides he really just wanted to get Horror's approval.

Cross, without a word, easily heated up the chocolate over the stove, it began to bring back memories of his AU he didn't want surfaced.

The sound of laughter, the taste of chocolate in his mouth, his arms didn't hurt, the worst he felt was a little sore. Speaking to everyone, not holding his tongue, no, actually feeling the urge to speak real words out loud.

The smell of chocolate cake, kind words he'll never hear again-

His palm burning.

Cross blinked in surprise and lifted his arm off of the stove quickly, he had accidentally set it down on the burner and hadn't noticed, the feeling already so normal to him.

Horror looked over at the sudden movement and asked him what was wrong.

Cross didn't respond.

The words were so caught in his throat, they refused to leave, he didn't want to speak, he didn't want to speak, he didn't want to-

"Cross." He hears a powerful and commanding voice that was unmistakably Nightmare's.

Still he didn't speak but his hand fell from where he was apparently clutching it.

"Is something upsetting you Cross? I can feel your emotions you know, so it would be best not to lie, I will know." Nightmare asks, Cross barely understanding.

Nightmare wanted him to speak.

He didn't want to speak.

He turned towards Nightmare, but still he couldn't even manage to get his mouth open.

"Cross, respond to me." He says and Cross could barely even think, his brain suddenly filled with images of his family's death.

A death of his own, maybe.

And then, his lack of food and therefore energy caught up to him yet again, he stumbled and then blacked out.

...

When he awoke he lay on the couch with a damp washcloth on his head and a bandaged hand, he almost panicked but realized his arms had no such care, Nightmare hadn't felt the need to check for other injuries thank gods.

Cross sat up and took the washcloth off of his head, staring at his hand for a moment before a smell hit his nose.

Chocolate cake.

He couldn't handle this, not right now, not ever.

It was his birthday, a day that he dreaded every year now, October 10th, the day Cross was born.

A day he considers to be the worst day of his life.

Celebration was no more, he needed a way out, he needed to get his frustration out, he needed to burn every piece of bone on his body until it was unusable, then use it anyway.

"Cross, you're awake." Nightmare says, startling slightly.

Cross didn't say a word.

"What's going on, you've been strange all week, more so than normal. Your little nightly negativity bursts have been getting larger and more prevalent every night, I think now is when I interfere." He sighs and Cross almost gasps, Nightmare knew something was wrong.

He didn't want to speak, his body would not let him.

He wanted to cry, his body could not.

He wanted to burn, he wanted to burn, he wanted to burn, he wanted to burn-

"Cross. Are you listening to me?" Nightmare's voice suddenly bursts through his thoughts of self harm. "Cross I'm not kidding, have you suddenly gone mute?" Nightmare says, his voice turning stern but softening a second later, "I promise I won't judge if something is bothering you."

Cross manages to open his mouth this time, nothing comes out though. So he closes it, unsaid words threatening to spill out now and that scares him more than not being able to get anything out.

Nightmare sighs, "At least tell me what happened, Horror was terrified..." Nightmare mumbles.

Cross opens his mouth again, but this time it worked, "I... got distracted..." He manages to mumble, his voice hoarse from little use.

Nightmare sighs again, "Distracted how? You end up with a burn on your palm, which you should have noticed right away if you had your hand on the burner by the way, that's really weird and you might need to figure out what that is supposed to mean, Horror is concerned you haven't been eating enough and passed out due to lack of malnourishment, although I'm going to guess it was overexertion, but then again you just woke up-" Nightmare sighs a third time, "My point is, what the hell got you so upset?"

"Ch-" Cross coughs slightly, rubbing his throat, "Chocolate..." He muttered, "The smell reminded me of something."

"...Oh boy." Nightmare says, realizing this was probably a mistake.

"...What...?" Cross mumbles.

"I think I should just show you, follow me." Nightmare says, gesturing to a door.

Cross got up and followed Nightmare without a beat, anything to get his mind off of his-

...

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY CROSS!" Mostly Killer yells, Cross is suddenly hit with a dump truck of emotions.

"I- I- H- How- I don't-" Cross whispers just loud enough for everyone to hear.

"You told me one time when I was upset about something." Dust says, who happens to be covered in colorful streamers.

"And you told me when I was half asleep!" Killer yells excitedly, he's covered in silly string and Cross realizes that Nightmare has a tiny piece of it on his shoulder.

This made him cry.

He didn't cry in front of others, it was so taboo in his brain.

It wasn't sobs, it was just tears, he barely changed expressions.

Everyone looked startled, they had been expecting Cross to say they didn't need to or maybe even get a small smile out of him, not tears.

Killer immediately ran over when he realized what was going on, "Hey, hey, what's wrong? I thought birthday parties were supposed to be happy?"

Cross couldn't explain so it came out in sobs, Killer grabbing onto him while Cross cried on his shoulder.

Killer caught Nightmare's gaze and gave him a panicked look and Nightmare just shook his head.

...

Once Cross had calmed down and there were just occasional sniffles every now and then, they had moved one of the couches, "So... is this why you've been acting strange this whole week then?" Nightmare asks.

"S- Sorry." Cross mumbles.

"Do not apologize for things you are not at fault for."

"Sor- uh."

"Poor Crossy baby, he can't stop being a people pleaser~" Killer says, smooshing his face against Cross's in a manner that could be taken as mocking but Cross knows Killer well enough to know it isn't, still doesn't stop him from shoving him off though.

Killer is undeterred, he just hugs onto Cross harder.

"...Are you... okay?" Horror asks, looking worried.

"...Yeah. I'll live." Cross mumbles an 'unfortunately' afterword that only Killer and Nightmare could hear, Killer squeezed a little tighter at hearing that.

"Why did you pass out...? Do you... know?" Horror asks.

"..." Cross can't bring himself to tell them the way he treats himself when they aren't looking.

"You do know, don't you?" Nightmare asks, his tone only slightly accusing, Cross flinches either way.

"Criss-Cross, are you doing something to yourself?" Killer asks.

"Yes." Is the only word that Cross can manage to get out of his mouth, everyone's frown deepens at the sound of it.

"What...? If I may ask." Nightmare says, even though it sounds like you have a choice, you'll have to tell him anyway, he'll just ask you when nobody is around.

"I can barely eat..." Cross whispers, "And when I manage too, I throw it all up, I can't keep food down anymore, I don't even need to make myself throw up anymore... I can do it on command."

"...What?" Horror says, looking horrified.

"I'm sorry..." Cross says and his voice starts to waver, tears threatening to spill again.

Suddenly Chara's voice pops in, "What about your arms?" They say, "I know you already told them some of your bullshit but every morning when I see them they get worse."

"That's not... the only thing..." Cross mumbles, clutching at his sleeves.

"Of course it isn't." Nightmare sighs.

"..." Cross slowly rolls up his sleeves and a series of gasps and exclaims are heard, one from Nightmare as well.

"W- What the hell are you even doing???" Dust asks, his horror not even hidden.

"Burning." Cross says.

"... How much is there?" Nightmare asks.

"All over my whole body... but mostly my arms." Cross says, wincing.

"I- I don't even know-" Nightmare says, seemingly astonished. "You know what? Come here, let me heal you."

...

Cross was super embarrassed the entire time Nightmare was healing despite Nightmare telling him that it was fine over and over.

It... went away.

The burn is gone.

He needs the burn, the painfully awful heat on his bones to stab at his regret and shove it so deep down it disappears momentarily.

Nightmare notices his... unhealthy... thoughts and lets out a frustrated sigh, "Cross, you do know you're definitely not allowed around lighters anymore right?"

"Okay." Cross says, his emotionless stature coming back, but Nightmare, being so close to him, could feel the addiction in his aura, the temptation and pain that Cross was so good at hiding.

Nightmare frowns at this.

"Come on, I thought we hit something and you wouldn't be an emotionless robot around us anymore." Killer grumbles and Nightmare sends a glare his way, Cross knew Killer was actually worried about him though.

Throughout his entire time at Nightmare's he's seen everyone but Nightmare cry before, Nightmare obviously has his own problems though, he's seen him flinch when he gets glared at or Killer and Dust's roughhousing gets a little too close to him and a hand goes up near him.

They never seem to notice though, they just keep going and Nightmare will sigh and tell them to be nice and that he's going to take a nap. He never does though, he goes and sits in his library and reads what are 'not' romance novels. Cross had seen it himself, Nightmare was reading a book that Cross had read and of what he remembers it was all schmoopy feelings and smut.

He leaned over and said, "Whatcha reading there?" He giggles as Nightmare flinches and turns his head around quickly, his face turning extremely confused as it was not normal for Cross to act like this at all.

"Sorry about startling you, I just recognized the book you were reading." Cross says, holding back giggles.

The horror that showed on Nightmare's face when he said that was unmatchable with anyone he's ever seen die at the hands of any of them.

"You. Didn't. See. Shit. You hear me?" Nightmare had said, Cross replying with a thumbs up and giggling a little.

Nightmare was interesting, although seeing Killer cry was the craziest thing Cross thinks has ever happened.

Killer was supposed to be emotionless, he wasn't supposed to feel anything at all.

And the funny thing about it was that Killer wasn't crying about regret, or his own sadness, or even for someone dead.

Killer was crying about a fake comic about two cats.

Nightmare's face when he heard Killer's sobs in the corner of the room was completely shocked, Killer per usual was sitting on the bright pink beanbag in the corner of the room that had been there as long as Cross has and longer.

As it was just Cross, Killer and Nightmare home at the time, they both had looked over immediately and seen Killer sobbing over his phone, Nightmare had run over as quickly as he could and asked what was wrong.

"The cat dieddd!" Killer responds, sobbing into Nightmare's shoulder.

"...What?" Nightmare had said, confused as ever.

This was also the first time Cross had heard of Color, apparently Color had sent Killer a link to this super cute cat comic about two cats who were siblings but then a human killed on of them near the end of the comic, Color had also apparently sent that 'watch this being back your emotions' and Killer had been like, okay, whatever I guess I'll read it.

But then the cat died and he started sobbing.

Cross had felt bad but then he realized the hilarity of the situation and started to uncontrollably giggle.

Nightmare had looked at him and given the most 'are you kidding me' face in the world and Cross started to laugh more.

Killer's face when Cross started to laugh was so...

Let's just say there was no words to describe the mix of hurt and then awe at Cross's laughter.

Cross didn't emote, that was how it was and how Cross thought it would always be.

Nightmare was the first to change that, then Killer started to hang out with him after that, Cross never realized how funny Killer was. It was hard to see through the insensitive bitchass Killer was when he first met him.

Killer had... changed in his eyes a lot since then, like right now, with Killer hugging on his arm that had already been healed to the best of Nightmare's ability.

Like right now? Killer was the cutest thing Cross thinks he's ever seen.

Killer and Cross weren't dating, neither of them were good enough with their own feelings to deal with eachothers. They liked each other, maybe.

That's how it was and Cross didn't mind, Killer wasn't as much as a bitchass as he'd first thought.

"My apologies about all the festivities Cross, we just were excited that we finally found out when your birthday was and didn't think about how you hadn't said anything for the past three years, or how it might have painful memories attached to it." Nightmare says, finishing with his other arm.

"... I'm fine, I just..." Cross sighs, "My birthday was never a bad thing before... It's not like I have these terrible birthday memories, it just reminds me of... my AU." Cross says, stopping himself before he says family, he couldn't call them that, it hurt too much to think of how they were gone.

"I understand, if you want us to ignore it from now on we will, but I think it might help if your memories of your birthday are not all of things that cause you pain." Nightmare says and Killer nods and whispers.

"I got you a special present." he says in Cross's ear, seemingly excited about it.

"Okay," Cross says, talking feeling so much easier than usual, "I think you're right..."

"Yay!" Killer exclaims, "I can't wait to show you what we got you~!"

Cross exhales and smiles a little at Killer, who sees it and his eyes light up in a triumphant way. "I knew you could smile." He says, getting in Cross's personal space a little.

Suddenly, Cross knew everything would be okay.

30 notes · View notes