avada-kedammit

[avada-kedammit]

Ravenclaw: can you do me a favour?

Gryffindor: I would literally cover up a murder you commited, plant my DNA at a crime scene, and take the blame for you if you want me too

Ravenclaw: . . .can you wash the dishes?

Gryffindor: No❤️

[avada-kedammit]

Slytherin: I don’t know how to tell you this Gryffindor, but you’re in love with me

Gryffindor: What?

Gryffindor: 

Gryffindor : Oh my god, I am

Ravenclaw: What kind of confession did I just witness?? 

[avada-kedammit]

Gryffindor: * is crying *

Slytherin: Hey, don’t cry, somebody loves you

Gryffindor: Really?

Slytherin: yep

Slytherin : not me tho

[avada-kedammit]

Slytherin: :(

Hufflepuff: Turn that frown upside down!

Slytherin: ):

Hufflepuff: Listen here you little piece of shit-

[avada-kedammit]

Gryffindor: * sneezes *

Slytherin: Bless you

Gryffindor: * sneezes again *

Slytherin: Ok you’re blessed you can shut up now, stop being such an attention seeker.

[avada-kedammit]

Remus and James: *talking*

Sirius: whatever I’ll just date myself

[avada-kedammit]

Remus: Love is a myth, I can’t trust anyone again. I think about life and I cry every night because of this. Was this nothing but a game to him? He knows how much I cared and he did this to m-

 James: Whoa, whoa, what happened!?1?!!?11

Remus: Sirius ate my fucking chocolate.

[avada-kedammit]

Remus: Look, I just need to hear those three little words. 

Sirius: I love you?

Remus: no the other one

Sirius *sighing*: I will behave

Remus: you won’t, but thank you 

[avada-kedammit]

Harry and the Tramp😏

[avada-kedammit]

Adventures of Dadfoot and Moomy

Sirius*humming*: I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE, THE OTHER BROTHER CAN’T DENY-

six month old harry: *laughs*

Sirius: WAITT, OMG DID U JUST LAUGH, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG

Remus: WHAT, WHAT HAPPENED!

Sirius: HARRY JUST LAUGHED!

Remus: WAIT WHAT, OMG HOW DID YOU DO IT

Sirius: uM, weLL, abouT thaT, uM I uh, sang him a song?

Remus: OMG, U DIDN’T SING BABY GOT BACK DID YOU

Sirius: well I was humming it and well, HARRY JUST LOVES ARSES OK

Remus: WAIT, LET ME TRY

*5 minutes later*

*REMUS WHACKING SIRIUS’ ASS WHILE HARRY’S LAUGHING*: I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE, THE OTHER BROTHER CAN’T DENY-

*James and Lily come in*

James and Lily: wtf?????

Sirius: MOONY HOW INAPROPRIATE!

[avada-kedammit]

* after watching tangled *

Sirius: Do you think if we sang that song Rapunzel was singing to her hair, we’ll never die?

James: OMG, imagine the amount of deathly pranks and hexes we can do without dying!

Sirius: IMAGINE SNAPE! HE WON’T EVEN BE ABLE TO FIGHT BACK OUR IMMORTALNESS!

* 3 am in the morning *

Sirius*screaming*: FLOWER, GLEAM AND GLOW, LET YOUR POWER SHINEEEE

James*screaming as well*: MAKE THE CLOCK REVERSE BRING BACK WHAT ONCE WAS-

Remus: OMG, IT’S FUCKING 3 AM, LILY YOU’RE GOING TO FACE MY WRATH FOR ALLOWING THESE TWO TO WATCH MUGGLE MOVIES!

[avada-kedammit]

"Be the chaos you wish to see in the world."

Sirius Black and James Potter at some point

[avada-kedammit]

Peter: Oh, my God! Lily’s wearing pink! Lily’s wearing pink!

Remus: Are we sure it’s not a white shirt that’s just been bloodied in a dueling match ?

Dorcas: Maybe it wasn’t her. Does she have a twin sister?

Marlene: If Lily had a twin, she would have eaten her in the womb.

Sirius: Wait. Hold it. Stop. How come none of you teased her about it?

James: It’s Lily. She’s scary.

Sirius: You guys are unbelievable. I once wore a tie with a splash of purple. You guys called me Mr. Grapes for two years.

Dorcas: Oh, Mr. Grapes. I forgot about Mr. Grapes.

Sirius: If I wore a pink shirt, you’d tear me to shreds.

Marlene: Well, yeah, but you’d look like a Pigmy puff with a gun.

Lily: What are you guys laughing at?

James: If Sirius was wearing a pink shirt.

Sirius: I get it. That’s hilarious.

Sirius: What’s happening? Lily is the one wearing pink.

Lily: And?

Sirius: It’s gorgeous. I wish I could pull that off

Lily: Dream on Strawberry Shortcake

[avada-kedammit]

Sirius: It’s been raining for 7 days. HOW do you explain that?

Remus: Warm air meets a low pressure system?

Sirius: Wrong. It’s raining because god is crying. And he’s crying because he created James and Lily to be the role model of the perfect couple for the entire universe. 

Remus: ok but that’s honestly true

[avada-kedammit]

McGonagall *at 3 am*: Sirius’ animagus was a DOG! That’s why 95% of the time a dog kept eating James’ homework when dogs aren’t even allowed.

McGonagall: THOSE BITCHES!

James: So I thought I work well under pressure

James: Turns out I don’t

James: Now I have 15 undone assignments all due tomorrow

James: Sirius, I need you to eat my homework 

Sirius: On a side note to James’ suffering, homework tastes great!

[avada-kedammit]

James: So I thought I work well under pressure

James: Turns out I don’t

James: Now I have 15 undone assignments all due tomorrow

James: Sirius, I need you to eat my homework 

Sirius: On a side note to James’ suffering, homework tastes great!

[avada-kedammit]

Lily: So I’ve tried every way of saying this to you and now I’m just going to do it

Lily: I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you

James: 

James: Oh, I get it, you want us to be the kind of friends who hug each other and hold hands. Like me and Sirius. 

Lily: you know what 

Lily: *kisses him * 

James: James.exe has stopped working please take to Sirius immediately