bunnyskull152

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there are two competing sects on this website - one that uses the word "spicy" to mean "neurodivergent" and one that uses the word "spicy" to mean "sexual content." i do not like either of them

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Geralt, fully potion-ed up: Be not afraid. Jaskier: Raw. Next question. Geralt: Geralt: Be a little more afraid.

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The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

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Scott: Peter is not your friend. He keeps trying to kill you.

Derek: And I try to kill him back. It's kind of our texting.

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editing is just you vs. past-you in a duel of questionable comma placement and emotional instability

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Stiles Stilinski and Everyone [13/?] ⤷ Peter Hale

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Derek: All right, you're clearly not listening to me. I can say whatever I want.

Stiles, focused on a video game: Tell me about it.

Derek: I murdered Isaac this weekend.

Stiles: I feel you.

Derek: Now that I have a taste for blood, I can't stop murdering.

Stiles: Been there, done that.

Derek: Scott is next.

Stiles: Go for it, baby. I believe in you.

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Scott: Alright, so the vampire's gravestone is— Stiles: Cenotaph. Scott: What? Derek: It's only a gravestone if it marks the location of a body. A monument honoring someone whose body isn't present is a cenotaph. Scott:I'm… not sure that's how it works if the body gets up and walks away on its own. Stiles: There's a precedent for gravestones being reclassified as cenotaphs if the body is later removed and re-interred elsewhere. There's no rule that says the body itself can't do the removing. Scott: Okay, but the body is very much coming back. That's kind of what we're here to accomplish. Derek, shrugging: So it's a temporary cenotaph. Scott: And naturally our greatest concern here is avoiding semantic ambiguity. Stiles, nodding: Semantic ambiguity is how vampires get you.

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Me, selecting filters on Ao3

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erica, looking outside the window: stiles, jackson and isaac are shouting at each other again. Do you think we should do something?

boyd: yeah.

boyd: [closes the window]

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"tumblr humor is only funny to tumblr users" NOT true. those bitches on pinterest love us.

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hot take alert! i think in omegaverse, chubby and fat Omegas are extremely popular with Alphas.

because they look fertile and so fucking soft and round and it drives Alphas feral.

they’re fat, delicate, cute and dainty and Alphas can’t get enough of them.

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Arthur after Gwaine got banished: Merlin be honest do you want to go with him?

Merlin: What? Are you banishing me?

Arthur: No! I just meant... you know. Would you rather go with him than stay here?

Merlin: No, my place is with you, Sire.

At this point Arthur sighs and decides to try a last time

Arthur: I don't want to be what keeps you two apart

Merlin: What on earth are you talking about?

Arthur: Gwaine and you. Come on it was obvious.

Merlin: What was obvious??

Arthur grimacing: The two of you... Together... *waving his hand in some vangue gesture* you know do I really have to say it

Merlin mockingly copying the gesture: Yes.

Arthur: The two of you were clearly in love so if you rather go with him I understand

That makes Merlin laugh so hard he throws his head back

Merlin: We are not in love Arthur. Gwaine is a friend.

Now it's Arthur's time to snort: A friend? I don't think Gwaine thinks the same, it's obvious when he looks at you

Merlin just shrugs at that: And eyes reveal all feelings? It doesn't have to mean anything, I mean people have told me before you look besotted when you look at me and we both know that's bullshit

Arthur stands still at once, like a deer facing danger, held in place only by the fear of triggering the predators instinct to chase

Arthur: what

Merlin with another snort: yeah stupid i know

Arthur: Who said that

Merlin: Oh well just Gaius and Gwen, Morgana mentioned it too. Gwaine ironically. Oh and Lancelot, one of the guards, Amy the maid who took care of Lady what was her name?? The one who wanted to elope with Sir Bran, doesn't matter anyways. And Uther one time but he muttered it I don't think I was supposed to hear

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Women can write m/m. Men can write f/f. Asexuals can write filthy smut. Lesbians and gay men can write m/f. It's all arbitrary anyway. Who give a shit.

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i swear to god if one more stupid fandom ruins a beautiful text post i am calling the police

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I need creepy sounding lullabies or songs, preferably in Polish, maybe Russian. I have Stiles in the dungeons and I want him to sing something that puts the creeps up the guards that causes them to freak out and refuse to stand guard over him without hundreds of candles filling the space and chasing the darkness away.

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I had a dream last night that deputy!derek was on patrol with a newbie hire and wasn’t talking much (cause haha derek). the newbie is lowkey nervous af and is just about sweating bullets when this blue jeep rushes by and sweet lord baby jesus, this stoic cop hauls ass after this rickety jeep and pulls it over sirens and everything.

newbie is confused.

newbie is sitting meek in the patrol car when derek opens the door and stalks…stalks to that damn jeep.

did the driver just flip him off?

oh, this is gonna be a mess.

newbie straightens in his seat and moves to get out of the car when his eyes go comically wide as he watches derek, this mean ass dude, lean into the window and-

did he just KISS THE DRIVER?

newbie doesn’t know what the fuck is happening.

the driver (derek’s dude-man?!) hands derek a white plastic bag and oh shit derek’s leaning in again.

what?

oh fuck, he’s coming back.

derek’s opening the door and slides back in, the bag making more noise than anything else in the car.

“um,” newbie starts but derek turns a mean (MEAN) raised eyebrow at him and all newbie’s soul goes out the window but he can’t help himself. Nine lives and all that. “Who was that?”

Derek starts to open the bag to peer inside, “My husband,” and proceeds to pull out that looks like a pulled pork sandwich, “he made us lunch. You want yours?”

newbie stares at him before muttering, “yeah, thanks,” as he internally loses his shit.