clingonlikeclingwrap

[clingonlikeclingwrap]

HALT. THAT BLOND MAN IS JASON GRACE.

Long time no PJO…

[clingonlikeclingwrap]

Long time no PJO…

[clingonlikeclingwrap]

I think she just really liked the character

I’ve had this shitpost in my head for way too long

[clingonlikeclingwrap]

AÑSOEISK i just saw the last post

Why do I have the feeling that this it's totally some kind of confession from Fu Yao??? 😭😭 he just seems like the kind of guy who would say i love you with the most nonchalant smirk that someone could give AHSHHAHS i love them

Relevant post

先发制人 frfr.

Patience is a virtue but Fu Yao's has worn ~600 years thin and if I were him then ngl shade would not be the only thing being thrown here

AU Masterpost

[clingonlikeclingwrap]

Titles

[clingonlikeclingwrap]

Okay, but does Nan Feng's crush ever get requited 👀?

Fuckin bet on it!! I’m a sucker for happy endings, and these idiots deserve to be together after wrangling the nightmare that is fengqing. I’ve already been overzealous and given away too much of this AU tbh bc I can’t keep my trap shut but here’s a vague (really lazy) account of how it goes down bahahaha

Thanks for the ask!!

AU Masterpost

[clingonlikeclingwrap]

I’m in hysterics over Feng Xin naming Nan Feng, it’s one thing to name a disguise that, it’s a whole OTHER thing naming a completely grown person that 😭 bro deadass changed TWO letters is he fr? 😭 I know Nan Feng is sick of him omg my chest genuinely hurts I can’t breathe 😂

I’m down on my knees here, how did Nan Feng react to that name? If my boss gave me a new name that had a two letter difference from his I would be concerned he’s trying to become my dad

HAHA NOW THAT'S A THOUGHT

At the time he was a bit too preoccupied to think about it, but when it registers later… well, it ends up becoming a secret point of pride, despite how fucking embarrassing it is 🤦

Nan Feng and Fu Yao are real deputies AU Masterpost

(Writing wip under cut)

It could have been ten times longer, or a hundred times more bloody. It could have been the cruellest slaughter you’d ever seen, could have left not a single survivor. But in the end, the pages of history did not have space for an insignificant skirmish such as this. Seemingly important, as all things were in the moment, but ultimately forgettable—by now, 600 years had passed. Who still bothered to remember? Who still lived on to wallow?

A single soldier.

Conscripted from the streets, an orphan with no name—but he’d been called all sorts of things while he fought. Frequently on the battlefield were insulting monikers like wild beast and monster brat and unkillable barbarian. And at moments of reprieve there were made-up endearments and nicknames from comrades and friends, a taste of something he’d never had before. That child had joined the army because he had nothing to lose; how ironic that only there did he find anything he wanted to keep.

But though he was greedy and clutched everything he had desperately, they slipped through his fingers all the same. One by one, then all at once. Toppled, fallen, destroyed. Nothing but ash and bone now.

So the war was over, but the battles never ceased. He’d only just grown into a name, but had no one left to call it; he had an urge for revenge, but no longer enemies to taste it. He owned nothing but a sword in his fingers and sputtering resolve in his chest, so he walked, and regretted, and having nothing better to do, joined in any fight that crossed his path. He fought because everything there was to lose, had already since been lost.

He should have learned, really. How foolish was it to make the same mistake twice? Another name laid to waste, dying along with all the ones who knew it.

But this time, someone else stood with him in the aftermath. Gore weighed down his blade, bodies stained the battered field, and he could hardly tell anymore if that warm wetness on his face was sweat or blood or tears—but someone breathed, beside him. Someone spoke.

“You,” that person called. “You fought well. What’s your name?”

“I am no one,” he said. And again, I have nothing.

“Then what do I call you?”

Names only mattered in the mouths of those who spoke it, and twice now had his been erased from living memory. Oh, he never learned. So as for what he should be called…

“You can decide.”

It must’ve been a good name after all, because 600 years had passed since then, and Nan Feng still bore it.

[clingonlikeclingwrap]

The unparalleled power of Crimson Rain Sought Flower

[clingonlikeclingwrap]

The night after Shen Jiu was purchased, before having the chance to even be beaten, the cruel and arrogant young master he’d barely met collapsed and fell into a fever. It was apparently a serious bout of illness. Shen Jiu, who did not have even the slightest positive impression of said young lord, privately hoped he would die.

change follows where autumn winds blow

idk I had the thought "hey shen yuan was a rich young master with a little sister he doted on. yk who else was a rich young master with a little sister he doted on—" so I wrote it. and now I’ve drawn it.

[clingonlikeclingwrap]

I’ve had this shitpost in my head for way too long

[clingonlikeclingwrap]

Nan Feng and Fu Yao are real deputies AU Masterpost

Original post

Awkward meeting

Trusted advisors

Some notes

Nan Feng’s name

Nan Feng’s crush

Fu Yao's response

[clingonlikeclingwrap]

Can I please hear more about the nan feng and fu yao au I love them so much

YES

- Fu Yao became a deputy official first; Feng Xin saw him trailing cheerfully behind Mu Qing one day and lowkey got competitive. He met and picked up Nan Feng soon after.

- Nan Feng's name is false, given to him by Feng Xin when he became a deputy official. He left his real name behind along with his mysterious, troubled history (meaning I haven't thought of it yet) in the mortal realm.

- Fu Yao was one of like eight children of a prestigious family, born to a particularly ambitious concubine. She was a really overbearing mother who involved FY in a bunch of succession struggle crap against his siblings, which made him run away from home to get away from it all instead.

- FXMQ thought they would compete against each other too, except FY despises competition due to his childhood, and NF is too concerned about work to go making even more problems for himself.

- On the contrary, NF and FY become friends from exposure bc their generals keep picking fights and destroying shit and they always end up having to clean up the mess together.

- NF kinda has a puppy crush on FY, who knows about it because he’s uncommonly emotionally intelligent, except he doesn’t do anything about it because NF is the opposite and doesn’t seem to actually realise his own feelings.

- They sometimes get into heated debates over which of their generals is better, which is about the worst their conflicts ever get. The argument generally stops because they have to go mediate an actual fight between FXMQ.

- While FXMQ were doing their tsundere-fuelled side quests with Xie Lian, NF and FY were holding down the fort in heaven.

- Every time XL visited heaven during his third ascension, NF and FY were ordered to go to the mortal realm, which they spent frolicking around together hunting ghosts and taking a break from paperwork. They basically missed the whole plot bc FXMQ forgot to call them back.

- Post-canon, NF and FY champion the FengQing agenda because FY wants his general to be happy and NF wants them to stop causing property damage with homoerotic tension-charged fist fights.

- Although generally carefree, FY is fiercely protective of MQ and will not tolerate slander in any form. Similarly, despite his huffing and complaining, NF is extremely loyal to FX.

That's all for this time. Thanks for the ask!

This AU is only gonna get longer so I’m making a masterpost

[clingonlikeclingwrap]

Shen twins woooo + background practice (lord knows I need it)

[clingonlikeclingwrap]

Gongyi Xiao!! Specifically Shen Yuan-as-Gongyi Xiao from my favourite svsss fic ever, Tarnished Gold by @primtheamazing

READ IT READ IT READ IT READ IT READ IT READ IT READIT READITERADISJTISAJOFAJ-

[clingonlikeclingwrap]

actually you're right this is the alternate ending

mfw I realise this walking embodiment of perfect masculinity is gay for me

mfw I realise I’m dating a gay man

mfw I realise I... might be gay???

>> anonymous

> anon how did u not know u were gay from the moment u started waxing poetic about a man’s “Greek statue” “stallion novel protagonist” beauty

>> anonymous

> tf you mean "might be"

Shen Yuan feels like the type of person to greentext on 4chan about meeting a hot guy and having a crisis but insisting he’s not gay and neither is the nice guy who was so considerate and listened intently to him yap and cooked for him and and—

anonymous

> be me. skinny ass shut-in living on trust fund, basically just waiting to die

> least interesting person ever. Hobbies include reading trash webnovels and then getting pissed about how trash they are

> decide to get a casual job after getting so pissed by the ending of aforementioned trash novel it actually shakes my entire worldview and indirectly sends me to the ER

> coworker is the hottest guy I’ve ever laid eyes on, I’m talking Greek-statue, stallion-novel-protagonist ass beautiful. Perfect height, perfect features, dude looks like he belongs in a luxury brand three piece suit, not a heytea apron that he somehow manages to make look unbelievably good

> start chatting with him, we become friends. Finds out he’s a student working a couple jobs and finding it hard to cover rent

> obviously, offer him my guest room. He says he feels awful freeloading and offers to cook for me in return. No complaints here, his food is heavenly.

> seriously, he’s literally the perfect guy. Cannot find even a single flaw in him. Out of curiosity asks him if he’s interested in dating since he’s single and he shyly says he is

> now confused why he doesn’t have a gf. He could literally have anyone he wants

> he professes his love to me.

> wtf.

> I consider it

> wtf.

> we start dating?

mfw I realise this walking embodiment of perfect masculinity is gay for me

mfw I realise I’m dating a gay man

mfw I realise I’m gay

>> anonymous

> anon how did u not know u were gay from the moment u started waxing poetic about a man’s “Greek statue” “stallion novel protagonist” beauty

[clingonlikeclingwrap]

Shen Yuan feels like the type of person to greentext on 4chan about meeting a hot guy and having a crisis but insisting he’s not gay and neither is the nice guy who was so considerate and listened intently to him yap and cooked for him and and—

anonymous

> be me. skinny ass shut-in living on trust fund, basically just waiting to die

> least interesting person ever. Hobbies include reading trash webnovels and then getting pissed about how trash they are

> decide to get a casual job after getting so pissed by the ending of aforementioned trash novel it actually shakes my entire worldview and indirectly sends me to the ER

> coworker is the hottest guy I’ve ever laid eyes on, I’m talking Greek-statue, stallion-novel-protagonist ass beautiful. Perfect height, perfect features, dude looks like he belongs in a luxury brand three piece suit, not a heytea apron that he somehow manages to make look unbelievably good

> start chatting with him, we become friends. Finds out he’s a student working a couple jobs and finding it hard to cover rent

> obviously, offer him my guest room. He says he feels awful freeloading and offers to cook for me in return. No complaints here, his food is heavenly.

> seriously, he’s literally the perfect guy. Cannot find even a single flaw in him. Out of curiosity asks him if he’s interested in dating since he’s single and he shyly says he is

> now confused why he doesn’t have a gf. He could literally have anyone he wants

> he professes his love to me.

> wtf.

> I consider it

> wtf.

> we start dating?

mfw I realise this walking embodiment of perfect masculinity is gay for me

mfw I realise I’m dating a gay man

mfw I realise I’m gay

>> anonymous

> anon how did u not know u were gay from the moment u started waxing poetic about a man’s “Greek statue” “stallion novel protagonist” beauty

[clingonlikeclingwrap]

WAHOOO

Imagine if Yin Yu was better at acting and managed to hide his identity from Quan Yizhen except due to his habit of helping/saving QYZ even while actively disliking/fearing him, QYZ ends up getting super attached to the Waning Moon Officer (think: stuffing gold bars in Xie Lian’s offering box & throwing a bed at Pei Ming to help him but 10x worse). I just think this would make for a really amusing (for me) and stressful (for YY) identity porn scenario