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Bruce truly hates magic with every pump and beat of his heart.

What kinda curse is Slang, anyway?

“This is the best day of my life.”

“Bro really thought he ate with that.” Bruce physically feels a full body shiver, charged with nausea and cringe. “This is level 10 cringe. Can’t have shit in Gotham.”

Dick is his earth bound angel, but he laughs like a demon at him, holding onto Jason for support, pledging his eternal loyalty to Zatana and her pettiness.

—

“Hey, old bat, hook me up with an adrenaline shot.”

What he wants to say is Jay, do not try and fight with 6 bullets in your stomach.

What comes out instead, through Bruce’s grit teeth and intense, fierce glaring, “Not you trying to go back to your corpse era. See how I only took 2 shots? Very demure. Very mindful.”

Jason passes out from blood loss, but mostly laughter.

—

“Chat, is this real?”

Stephanie barely bites back a full belly cackle. “I think he just asked us if we copied.”

“I wish I was Jason, 15.”

—

“This is not a slay environment. Killing is flop behavior.” He keeps his eyes shut and buries his face in his hands. Trying to convince Damian not to stab someone doesn’t seem to work.

Damian gives him a pat like he’s a pitiful cat. “I’ll only stab the non lethal areas.”

“God, I wish that were me.”

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NOBODY FUCKING MOVE.

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Justice League scenario where they meet little tiny Dick Grayson as Robin and immediately start taking bets on what on earth he is because the answer is obviously not human.

Green Lantern: I think Bats made a genetic clone of himself. One of his contingency plans, you know? If something happens to him, he has a well trained double to take his place eventually.

Green Arrow: No way! I refuse to believe anything that shares genetics with Batman could smile. I bet he's an alien that Batman found and ran tests on. I mean, have you seen the kid? I don't think he has bones.

Flash: Alien is a possibily, but have you seen the stuff the comes out of Gotham? I bet he just materialized out of the shadows one day. His smile scares me, I think he has to be a demon of some sort.

Dick Grayson, hanging upside down from a hanging light above them, where he has been silently eavesdropping the entire time: I am a normal human boy.

Lantern, Arrow, and Flash: -extended screaming-

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Another picture of the BAT-family!!! Bruce will make them all fit under his wings if it’s the last thing he does.

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gah DAMN

some random jason warmups. missed drawing him T_T

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TWO FACE - Harvey Dent

guys important question, what is the best comic of Harvey Dent (Two Face), his origin story?

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HOLY SHIT THIS IS GOOD HE LOOKS SO SCRUMPTIOUS.

also the posters and stuff in the back??? SO GORGEOUS.

batman and bruce, lovers BAHAHA

my page illustration for @gothamcenzine! ^_^)

very fond of the newspapers and posters in the bg~

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The contrast between Damian in absolute power and the boy wonder is gold honestly

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Bruce Wayne except he texts like an ominous boomer

wdym you can't tell if he's threatening them?

Based on this post by @mysterycitrus :)

<- Prev Masterlist Next ->

Bonus:

Happy birthday, Tim 🥰

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you get used to it

cass: *emerging out of the shadows* what's for breakfast duke, new to the house: AAH- WHAT THE FUCK- alfred, not missing a beat: Good morning, Ms Cassandra. I am making blueberry pancakes, as requested by Master Richard, though he does not seem to have woken up yet. jason, peeking his head out of the kitchen, somehow fully dressed in Red Hood gear, except sans helmet and plus frilly pink apron: lazy ass probably won't crawl out of whatever hole he's died in till two, he went to sleep at four this morning. cass: *nods sagely* duke: *still frozen in shock and horror, internally screaming and gaping* damian, stepping out from behind alfred: Good morning, morons. I'm surprised to see you're all alive, though Drake appears to be nearing death's door. everyone: *glances over at the corner of a random hallway, where a drooping, haggard time lurks* tim, eyes manic and smudged with the darkest eyebags known to man: WHAT DAY IS IT? bruce, hair unkempt and sleepy looking: *yawn* thursday. alfred: It is Saturday, Master Tim. Master Bruce, you could do with a pick-me-up. (derogatory) duke: WHAT. THE. FUCK. alfred: Language, Master Duke. dick and steph: *still blissfully asleep in their rooms, dick is passed tf out on his stomach, steph is sprawled on her back in a stunning imitation of a starfish*

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a nightmare of most horrible proportions

dick: *dreaming, and checking himself out in the mirror, feeling like something is wrong* dick (upon seeing his famous ass is gone): *high-pitched screams* jason, bursting into the room, guns loaded: what, what is it??!!? dick: *continues screaming while staring at his lack of ass* jason: *looks down to where dick is staring and also start screaming (at a lower pitch, but no less horrified) tim: WHAT IS GOING ON??!!!? damian, dropping from the roof, katanas swinging: where is the threat?!?! tim and damian, in unison: *also start screaming at the flatness of the great beloved bubble butt* dick, waking up screaming and drenched in a cold sweat, eyes wide and manic, heart pounding, chest heaving: *rips himself out of bed to check his ass in the mirror and starts sobbing in relief to find it intact*

dick's workout routines focus heavily on his glutes for the next few weeks, and everyone is highly concerned.