doweedow

[doweedow]

is tumblr buddy even possible? I WANT ONE :<

[doweedow]

wow, I can’t believe i’m still getting this surreal feeling every time i am visiting this app/site...

[doweedow]

FEELING MYSELF HERE. CHEERS TO MY SOLITUDE.

[doweedow]

Just a pup and the sunset 🐕🌳🌅

[doweedow]

DECEMBER 2020

I ASKED FOR A GOOD AND BLISSFUL MONTH FOR THIS YEAR AND YET, I GOT NOTHING BUT PAIN AND AGONY. A LOT OF THINGS DID HAPPEN IN JUST A SPAN OF MONTH. I LOST MY TWO DOGS, MY PARENTS AREN’T HERE FOR HOLIDAYS AND NOW I JUST FOUND OUT THAT MY SISTER’S LEAVING TO WORK OVERSEAS. I JUST HIT MY ROCK BOTTOM. I CAN’T STOP CRYING EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. I MISS MY DOGS, I MISS MY FAMILY SO BAD. I FEEL ALONE AND LONELY.  I KNOW EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON AND I KNOW THAT GOD’S PLANNING A BETTER FURTURE FOR US. I WILL REMAIN PATIENT AND WILL STAND STILL. THIS IS JUST A PHASE. 

I TRUST YOU, LORD.

[doweedow]

11/29/2020

It's always the coffee and late night walks that saves me from overthinking and sadness.

CHEERS TO MY SOLITUDE. ☕

[doweedow]

THOUGHTS

Growing up, i thought that being a journalist would be my cup of tea. I started to love writing and broadcasting way back in my grade-school days. I was in my  5th grade when my teacher asked me to be a campus journalist major in broadcasting. I was so clueless that time but my impulsive self agreed about it. We had our weekly training, I made friends, and enjoyed competitions a lot.These things made me realize that maybe, this is my passion and i am destined to be a journalist. 

High School days...i moved to another school, fortunately I became a journalist and did my best to prove my skills but sometimes, things are not for you. I wasn’t accepted to be a broadcaster, it was depressing, I admit! knowing that I was hailed before but i know that the world doesn’t revolve around me. I continued joining school’s press conference and I realized that being not part of the broadcasting team is actually  a blessing in disguise. I discovered that my imaginative thoughts deserves to be heard. Someone recognize how good i am in writing and I was chosen to be a feature writer. The history repeated itself, for I joined lots of competitions and once hailed as the most outstanding feature writer of Quezon City in YMCA. It’s not that big, but for me as a rookie, It is indeed a dream come true.

But today, I am doubting myself. Am I good journalist? Is it really for me? There where days where uncertain thoughts are inevitable. It feels like, there’s something new that’s waiting for me and i don’t know what exactly it is. I AM SO CONFUSED. 

I KNOW GOD HAS A BETTER PLAN FOR ME :)

[doweedow]

Ephemeral Love

"merry christmas"

It took me a thousand of deep breaths in order for me to say these words to you. I wasn't expecting anything from you knowing that you're the "shy type" guy i witnessed online.

There's something about you that caught my emotionless eyes and numbed heart. Luckily, you responded, and there, we shared the saddest–happiest and wackiest moments of our lives.

You're the guy I never asked for—even in my deepest phantasm. But GOD gave me you. And I coudn't thank HIM more for giving me the softest yet ready to fight for me kind of "Person".

But life's aint that fair, i guess. Time passed by— instead of happy stories, we shared nothing but a deafening silence. We were so cold that even our hearts froze to death.

Until now, Im still missing you Mi amorè. I have no regrets about you for you are one of the best and I will surely treasure our moments we've shared together.

I can see that you're happy with someone else now and that's what exactly I asked to GOD the moment we broke up. I asked him to give you the person you truly deserve and someone who will not hurt you the way I did. I learned a lot of things luv, A LOT—really.

Our love's Ephemeral but the moments we had will last forever.

THANK YOU.

[doweedow]

Bitter sweet

time flies

your words filled with lies

you said you love me

but your eyes spilled the reality.

Darling please,

don’t give up easily 

for I will love you eternally .

Can you blame me?

loving you  missing you and yet; the only thing you keep on doing is “destroying”.

Tell me the truth 

for it will set me free

tell me everything

for i will accept the reality.

[doweedow]

Nostalgia

Your eyes...

An indescribable color like the ocean on a warm Summer day.

A color I had no recognition of but... twice.

It's true,

Familiarity was what it was.

I couldn't decide the feeling when we finally crossed paths again;

That was it.

Familiarity!

I've known you somewhere before boy,

In some distance between the unknown

And our hearts beating together in sync.

I knew those eyes, that look, I knew then.

I know now.

And here we are now.

Past behind us and future before us.

I hope to spend this lifetime with you, boy,

Because familiarity is a thing I adore

And so are you <3

[doweedow]

Fragile

I don't wan't to break

Yet I am vulnerable, and there's still no cure.

FELL OUT.

This is not love

It's illusion

It kills my heart

Red are not for roses

It's now for pain.

I don't want to explore (anymore)

I'll leave distance by the shore

As I watch the sun set

Hoping tommorrow

My heart won't hurt.

[doweedow]

An endless list of cool movies - Love, Simon (2018) 

“I’ve been thinking about why I haven’t come out yet. Maybe a part of me wants to hold on to who I’ve always been … Just a little longer.”

[doweedow]

Please Cause I'm tired of this sht anymore.

[doweedow]

Who Am I?

Who am I?

Yes! I don’t know who the hell is “I” I am confused all the time… like I want to die. It’s like Someone’s in my back Whenever I am alone and sad. I’m Confused! Cause today I am Happy and then suddenly I felt lonely. Who Am I? Why can’t I control my emotions, feelings , thoughts running in my heart, soul and mind? I’m a shapeshifter , Yesterday I am Strong Tree but today I’m just a seed that can’t grow totally. It feels like someone’s using my body Manipulating my mind and I’m Sure its controlling me badly! I don’t know my self anymore Maybe The “I” Before Is not the “I” today that you used to know. Who I am? Please I want to know the real Me!

-DowL

[doweedow]

indeed

[doweedow]

Entry No. 5 (07-15-17)

That moment when you’re laughing and then suddenly you’re already crying (MY FEEL THOUGH WHILE READING THE FAULT IN OUR STARS) I’m done , I’m done reading it and i can’t wait to tell you how great the story was.

you know what? I fell inlove with the book the way i fell in love with the movie ❤ but of course the book is much better. The movie didn’t make me cry the way i cried when i read the book especially when Hazel wrote her Eulogy for Augustus. 3. It tears me apart, broke my heart into pieces, and (yeah!) gave me a book hangover until now!

Be prepared for a story of romance and anger, excitement, humor and friendship and bravery that brings laughter and tears 😂😭

I spent my week reading it and It’s worth it 👏 although the ending is unsatisfying. :+ I just felt like there’s something missing, I don’t think that’s how Gus and Hazel should end up their relationship. but still I adored this book it’s unbelievable and brilliantly written because it includes not all but some outstanding quoutes like “My Thought are stars, I cannot fathom into constellations” (I don’t actually get it lol, just find it cool :( Sorry) it was written so beautifully … This book is Captivating, heartfelt, heartwarming and most of all REAL. And a bit scary, but not scary the way you think it’s scary because it’s real . that cancer is not a joke, cancer is a very serious problem.

“ That’s the thing about pain… It demands to be felt” my favorite quote from the story.. It’s like there is a reason why pain is here and in order to heal the wounds that pain us, we need to feel it. Pain is emotion and it demands to be felt, why? because we can’t just ignore it and i think that pain exist for a reason. To teach us something. That we should feel it and we should learn from it . And that’s why pain demands to be felt to help us grow ? (i guess.)

[doweedow]

Entry No. 4 (07-10-17)

To be honest, I hate it when I’m ignored (being ignored sucks!) well, not because I need a constant attention or seeking it. No, at least consciously that’s not why I hate being ignored. When I noticed someone ignoring me my thoughts go through my mind, “why do you guys keep on ignoring me?” For Today’s entry I want to dedicate this to my classmates (I’m not generalizing)  I know we are one , we are strong as we united, we are Alexandrite , but why? I know I’m not the only one who felt this way but I just want to say that we’re not like FAMILY. It’s almost one month, Damn 1 month … and we are still treating each other as a strangers (to our new classmates ) compared last school year… It’s not even a week ( we had a lot of new classmates also) but we are comfortable to each other as time passed by. But today? It’s like you’re talking to someone who don’t even care to your words. We have our Group chat, some of my classmates left cause they were annoyed .. everytime they will ask about our homeworks most of them were seened and ignored that’s why we decided to go back to our Old Group chat (GC of Argon) there, we are Family, we are sharing, we are happy and we are still One :) ( though most of them are not in alexandrite now) You (guys) may think that I/we are over reacting but if some of you reading this then you must know why we left.