efabuloushb

[efabuloushb]

Using my voice at our nation's capital

Speaking at the Congressional Briefing about diversifying clinical trials on Capitol Hill was one of the best days of my life. To sit in a room full of giants who consistently advocate to move the needle for Sarcoidosis was humbling, powerful, and invigorating. It felt like the dawning of a new path and a reminder that I still have so much good to do in this world. Being asked to speak at the…

[efabuloushb]

At the Black Smithsonian

[efabuloushb]

Start again

I have been moved to write but the world around me has been moving at a constant pace, to which I seem not to be able to stop or even slow down. When I write, I now need quiet and aloneness. Waxing poetic over lunch doesn’t seem to bring me as much joy as it used to in the past. Since I turned 50, I crave the slow burn of mindfully plotting out a blog post. Life has beat me into a quiet…

[efabuloushb]

So you get a little wiser with time

[efabuloushb]

Life as a slice of pie

You know what? You get to enjoy the holidays. You deserve more than a few days off for surviving the year. The rat race ages you immensely when you are not allowed to rest. It weathers you from the inside out, especially when you have no outlet of joy. It pummels you senseless if you have no support system. Rest. Do not ever feel guilty about resting. To Black Americans who are in survival…

[efabuloushb]

The need for rest

The world is so tiring. It’s exceedingly heavy sometimes when you have to do the journey alone. You do it with the weight of the world on your back and the only comfort in the end is the ability to sleep and dream. Sometimes I come home from work and I am completely exhausted. Sarcoidosis, stress, loneliness, fatigue, brain fog, and there is little comfort because I have something else I need to…

[efabuloushb]

And so the locs

I’m not original. I mean I am an original but I do things that are trendy. Everybody and their 2nd cousin has started a loc journey. And gotdamnit they should!!! My God, the freedom. The freedom for a Black American person to wear their hair as it grows out of their head is monumental to our humanity. To enjoy the curls, the thickness, the texture of our hair as God intended. That’s freedom. As I…

[efabuloushb]

When the bad people, bad things, and bad situations go away

Sometimes God puts a wedge between you and other people to protect you. Sometimes a perceived loss is not a loss at all. It’s God and the universe moving you towards something better and helping you move towards a more peaceful existence. Always move in the direction where you, your gifts, your kindness, and your humanity is celebrated. Don’t ever “cast your pearls amongst swine” by quietly…

[efabuloushb]

Sometimes I forget and then I remember

I am a SuperMom. It is a badge I wear with honor. And I work a regular 9-to-5. Then I volunteer when I can with various organizations. Sometimes I even had the audacity to cultivate my own joy and do stuff for myself. I get busy and I forget that I have Sarcoidosis. I get busy and I forget about my limited number of spoons. A part of me wonders… “How could I forget?” Each morning I take a good…

[efabuloushb]

The illusion of oneness

They say we all are one. Oppression proves that’s a lie. Denying climate change proves that’s a lie. If we are one, why does inequality exist. The idea of unity is a farce on a global scale. The rich and powerful play war games with the children of the poor shedding the blood on the front lines. The scourge from centuries past still uphold the systemic racist fabric of a country with a domestic…

[efabuloushb]

Go make a difference

A few months ago, I did something incredible. I got to be a patient advocate speaking to the FDA about my experience with Sarcoidosis. My “why” for participating was making the journey for Black Americans with Sarcoidosis easier. Making sure that Black Americans have more representation in clinical trials.Tonight, I was part of a review webinar to talk about how to approach the FDA for advocacy.…

[efabuloushb]

Create space

I think I write because this blog, the pen and paper of old, my countless incomplete notebooks are captivate audiences. They are the only spaces where my story matters. They are the only spaces where I am safe to share my story without judgement. They are spaces I created where my Black American humanity matters. If I can tell you anything, please let me say that you must create a space to enjoy…

[efabuloushb]

When the bottom falls out...

When the bottom falls out…

… something that suddenly fails or becomes unable to continue in a normal and effective way. That’s the definition of the phrase “when the bottom falls out”. I have known this feeling almost consistently in my life as a Black American woman. Especially, when it comes to people. I had to learn that some people come into your life for a reason, season, or a lifetime. I also had to learn that if you…

[efabuloushb]

And it's more of the same

And it’s more of the same

Faultless… I’d like to think that I am totally faultless when it comes to the woes that weigh my spirit down from time to time. I like to pretend I am a martyr while I quietly wallow in loneliness. But I am not. I am not faultless. In fact, I find myself in familiar places of disappointment because I keep investing my time, my good nature, and my spirit into the wrong people, places, and thing.…

[efabuloushb]

A change has come...

A change has come…

This is the first time I felt inspired to write and had the time to write in a leisurely fashion in a long time. Life has been moving so fast since 2022 kicked into high gear. I’ve done a lot. I’ve done a lot of good stuff. Healed up from the historectomy. Accepted the fact that I need more therapy. Re-engaged with work. Did the big chop on my mohawk. Join the most fabulous DO sorority, Sigma…

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And then there's Valentine's Day

And then there’s Valentine’s Day

For some of us, the heavens have pissed on the very idea that we should find love and joy. We deserve so much love and joy, but for some of us there is only sadness. I think the horrible consequences of choosing the wrong mate, the wrong friends, the wrong path, and the wrong lovers …. IS SOUL CRUSHING LONELINESS. And that loneliness crushes you on every holiday, late at night, in the wee hours…

[efabuloushb]

It feels like death...

It feels like death…

When my Father died I was 16. I was so sick and lost without him. I cried. I went quiet. I shaved my head. I got angry. Grieving properly is never for the poor. So I just got stuck into dancing, music and hiding in plain sight from the world. When my Mother died I was 21. And a part of me died with her. I didn’t realize I was breaking at the seams. I cried about her from the age of 21 until I…