ewwitsheragain

[ewwitsheragain]

I never got tired of you

[ewwitsheragain]

You knew everything,

yet you walked like nothing happened.

Don't preach communication coz last time I did,

I got attacked by your weapons.

[ewwitsheragain]

Be my sun,

I'll be your sunflower .

[ewwitsheragain]

How often do you meet people that feel like home? Not often I am assuming or maybe you haven't met any at all. I had that person once in my life. ONCE. And that 'once' is enough for a lifetime.

[ewwitsheragain]

It isn't love, if it's easy.

[ewwitsheragain]

You were losing your hair

You were losing your hair.

I wasn't there.

You were losing your hair.

Kept you in my prayers.

Something that I do every night,

I still don't know why.

You were losing your hair.

And it wasn't fair.

You made it look cool.

But I knew how tough it was for you.

You were losing your hair.

Yet you were the bravest player,

On the field,

Running as fast, bare feet

You were losing your hair.

How nobody cared,

When you were alone in your room,

Talking to the moon.

You were losing your hair

Now I see you everywhere.

The bed that is now empty.

The room that holds all of your memories.

[ewwitsheragain]

In my head Jude and Willem live till they are 90! No one can tell me otherwise!

P. S. while reading, I always pictured Chace Crawford (the one who played Nate on Gossip Girl) as Willem.

[ewwitsheragain]

And the only thing that saved me was my dazzling pride.

[ewwitsheragain]

And in that moment,

I got a glimpse of what it could've become.

As it happened,

I got a sense of sadness and longingness all at once.

[ewwitsheragain]

Home that was almost built

I tire myself crying and I see you tried trying.

It's not unconventional the way we leave.

It's pure exaggeration of our grief.

I try not to think about it, but it still bothers me.

How do we leave the home that's almost built?

Tears that never stopped but that night they did.

I remember thinking "it'll only get better from here."

The kind of tale I spun around me it's unreal.

Ocean tide, the moon is crying, the forest disappeared.

How do I talk myself out of my fears?

They are less mine and more yours.

Could've been less hurtful if you left before.

[ewwitsheragain]

When death catches you

One night I caught you eating the poison

I ran towards you, took it from your hand and threw it in the sink.

Everyday I used to think,

you might be doing this every night.

It was just that night I saw it with my own eyes.

You were getting thin and thin.

It’s a slow one, but eventually it’ll kill.

And I thought to myself maybe I am the maniac.

I should be doing what they do to themselves.

What’s the point of living?

Life is anyway not giving any updates on the next years.

It’ll pass just like my yesterdays disappeared

In the morning I saw your dark circles.

Saw a patch just at the side of your eye.

Think it’s the bruise that you got from that fight

I asked if everything’s alright.

You brushed it off and said it’s so blue the sky.

But bluer was your shirt,

That you wore up till your wrist.

I was searching for better words.

But they just seemed to slip.

I wish you never left us.

Your bike still stands where you kept it as a kid.

I wish you talked about it.

I envy what you did.

Just left when it got harder for you.

Something I could never do.

[ewwitsheragain]

I just finished reading A Little Life. It's the most devastatingly beautiful story I've ever read. The story of four friends Jude, Willem, JB and Malcolm will be forever etched in my heart. I cried. I smiled. I wish the happy years were longer. And I wish the sad ones were shorter. Happy endings are a myth and this book rightfully dissolved that. And no x is not always equal to x Jude.

[ewwitsheragain]

The carpet sewed all green

I was standing there barefeet.

It was soft as if it was almost cotton,

The kind of green I haven't forgotten.

I was piercing the breeze as I ran and ran.

In that moment I was the fastest man.

Huffing like a dog there I was.

Staring at your door I built the courage to knock.

I still don't know how I did it.

I am not sure if I really wished for this?

Straight from the horrors beneath the beauty

To this moment I never imagined I made it through

Made it through to you

Where once I was scarred and I let nobody touch them.

You said the words from your heart.

For a moment I was bewildered how could you love them.

I never left the world where once I was in.

You asked me permission if I could let you in it

And I said no

[ewwitsheragain]

Some things are better left broken.

Some words are better left unspoken.

[ewwitsheragain]

Tomorrow, I don't think I'll have what I have now .

The love, the safety, the forgiveness can't be parcelled to another town .

[ewwitsheragain]

What if the future I see is painted in sombre colors?

What If my past takes you to the darkest veiled corners?

And trust me when I say you don't wanna get covered,

By the ink they threw at me stripping me off of my honor.

No proof, no testimony,

Could prove that I am not guilty.

First step, innocent.

Turned lies into testaments.

That's what happens when you're a kid,

Getting stuck in politics.

Do you wanna know the truth?

They already concocted, I should've known I was destined to lose.

They howled, they growled, hideous pact in cahoots.

'till I was lying there with the bleeding wounds.

6 by 10 feet bunker.

Spent years in starving hunger.

Fading names, blurring faces

Lost in the piled up cases.

That's what happens when you're a kid,

Getting stuck in politics.

[ewwitsheragain]

Standing at the garden gates,

I look for your trace.

I know that you won't come around,

But I do it just for our sake.

I feel like I betrayed you,

I don't know why I feel this way?

You're not even mine now,

What's the use of feeling the pain?

I wish you just said the words,

That I could never say.

But now there's nothing left.

Just the piercing voice that it was just a mistake.