forbidden-feelingsss - Tumblr blog

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Helen Oyeyemi, from “White Is for Witching”  

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random memory: we're all drunk late at night and she hugs me but after the hug her hand remains on my arm and later i think i made that up but it turns out this was actually cought on camera

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The Pillow Book (1996)

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Susan Abulhawa, from Against the Loveless World: A Novel

[Text ID: “I wanted to be chosen, maybe loved. I wanted out of my life, out of my skin,”]

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Naomi Shihab Nye, from Fuel: Poems; “Hidden”

[Text ID: "If you tuck the name of a loved one / under your tongue too long / without speaking it / it becomes blood"]

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1972 October Playboy

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what should i do?

Destroy everything you identify with, then identify with something that you cannot destroy. I chose the sky, not any one cloud but I am the container

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louise bourgeois

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Louise Bourgeois - Untitled, no. 10 of 12, from the illustrated book, The Trauma of Abandonment 2001

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queue sad girl by ldr

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I remember

The war is never over.

The past will never be forgotten and forgiven. The person who distroyed me will never know I'll live with these memories forever. Lately I've been just laying in bed all days and all nights trying to forget and I can't. They say you forget when you get older. But i didn't.

I love coming home but I hate it how I feel there. I remember thinking about jumping out of my window and I remember texting That Person about my plans and I remember her replaying that she was busy choosing her new dress but she knew I wouldn't do that anyway so she didn't bother to reply.

I remember being used abused and manipulated.

I remember drugs and my best friend overdosing. I remember making a promise I'd never use again.

I remember the silence of my home when my parents hated each other. The silence was traumatizing. I cannot stand it now.

I remember my grandfather dying and recovering and. I remember him dying but i don't remember him being a grandfather.

I remember losing a friend. She never told me why. She called me and said she didn't want to ever see me again.

I remember my mom telling me I wasn't made to live in society. That I was crazy ungrateful and heartless.

I remember losing a friend for the 2nd time. 3rd time. I remember everyone leaving without a word.

I remember my cat being run over by a car. We grew up together.

I remember falling for my teachers one by one and getting my heart broken piece by piece. I remember spending my birthday with one of them and getting drunk. I remember crying all the way home. Mascara running down my face. She didn't say goodbye. Never seen her since then.

I don't want to remember anymore.

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Heart imagery by Andrea Zantelli