gachawolfiebloom

[gachawolfiebloom]

Love Malfunction

Chapter 4: Search For The Idiot's Cure

Summary: Love is in the air as the Mushroom Kingdom is celebrating Valentine's Day, except for a certain someone. Mr Puzzles has hated the holiday ever since he can remember, seeing how nobody loved him his whole life. That is until he unexpectedly runs into his loathsome enemy, Mario. After the encounter with the stupid plumber, things only get worse for the television as he starts hacking up flower petals, pink ooze drips from his screen, and for some reason these symptoms worsen anytime the TV man gets around the red Italian. Now the both of them must fix this before their days of romance turn into disaster.

(Mild warning for some spicy content, nothing too mature though)

"My memories...?"

Mr Puzzles placed his hands over his chest, worried of the possibility that if he took them off for even a second, he'd lose everything he ever worked for. His shows, his friend, his love-

"No..."

The boys looked up in confusion, obviously not grasping this out of context speech the TV man displayed. "Pardon?" Four spoke with a slight tilt of the head, noticing his shifty behavior that started when he talked about memory loss.

"No, there has to be another way. I will try literally anything other than that!"

"Over dying?" Three spat which caused Mr Puzzles eye to twitch, clearly not appreciating his tone. "Well how would you feel if you found out you'd have to give up all your emotions just for one single annoying person that you didn't even know you liked!?" Smg3 tried to retort back with something mean and off-putting, but he hesitated, not knowing what to say. The bearded man looked back at Smg4 for a moment before he shook his head and went from lighthearted back to grumpy.

"Forget it. I'm done with you idiots."

He stomped towards the door before Mario called out "Wait! Es-mg-3! Where are-a you going!?" Three didn't give him as much as a sideways glance as he grumbled "To get my beans and get away from you all." The door creaked open as Mario couldn't believe his friend was just giving up like that. Oh well, at least he still had Smg4 to help-

"Three! Wait up! I'll help you find them!"

The Italian felt his jaw drop to the ground, letting out a short of breath wheeze as he was too shocked to even gasp right. He watched as his best friend ditched him to help out his rival, clearly uninterested in the situation as well. When he caught up to the bearded man, Four turned and said "Sorry Mario, but he's right. There's nothing else we can do. Maybe it's better like this...and let's be honest. Who in their right mind would have a crush on Mr Puzzles?" The blue eyed man chuckled at that possibly while shutting the door.

Finally finding his voice, Mario racked his brain while yelling back "YOU STINKY! Being a real team player here Es-mg-4!" The red plumber made the loser sign to the door and then hopped into the desk chair, taking over his supposed best friend's spot. "Don't-a listen to them TV guy! Mario will find-a cure! No problem!" He started mashing buttons until he noticed Mr Puzzles wasn't next to him. He was slumping to the door, sighing with defeat.

Quickly, the Italian rose from his seat and rushed over to block the door, standing in Puzzles' way. "Where-a are you going?"

"Didn't you hear him Mario? It's hopeless. I'm done. The only way to fix me is erasing my memories and I'm just unloveable."

"That's-a not true! Es-mg-4 didn't mean that! He's just jealous that he doesn't have the same thing with Es-mg-3 that you do with this guy!"

"But look at me!" Mr Puzzles gestured to himself as he placed both hands on his puffed out chest. "I'll never be famous no matter how hard I try, every one of my schemes ends up failing, and even when I make friends, they all just leave me in the end. It's about time I wake up and face the truth. The whole world hates me...nobody loves me."

"Mario does!"

It took a few seconds for the mustached man to understand what he meant as his cheeks immediately flushed red. Mr Puzzles was no different as a giant heart monitor line separated his eyes and mouth, arms hanging by his sides wobbly. "You...guh- I-but you...and...What!?"

Instantly regretting what he said, Mario took back those words and frantically explained "No! Mario didn't mean it like that! Mario meant more as a friend! Yeah! A good friend!" Sweat ran down his forehead as the two stood there, letting their blush slowly dissolve. Mr Puzzles put a hand up to his television box as he bashfully replied "Well...thank you my dear Mario. T-That means a lot coming from you. I'm glad to hear someone isn't giving up on me."

"Mario intends to do more than give! Mario is gonna help you find-a cure!"

Puzzles smile started to fade as a friendly but nervous expression replaced his screen instead. "Um...you know when I said I would do anything but lose my memories...I didn't mean that literally." The sneak tried to weasel his way out of Mario's treachery, but once that fat Italian gets wrapped into something, you can't stop him.

He started pushing the TV man out of the room with an assured confidence. "Don't-a worry! We'll have you back on your-a feet in no time!"

"I already am on my feet..."

Mario switched from pushing his back to leading him by holding his hand. Mr Puzzles felt a shock go through his antennas when he felt their gloves brush up agains one another. The Italian's hand felt so warm and soft like a cup of hot chocolate on a cold, windy day. The television observed the gloves that the plumber wore, bringing a zillion thoughts to his mind. What material could his gloves be made of? A silky fabric perhaps? It felt cozier than the ones he was wearing. Mr Puzzles probably wouldn't mind trying them on. Would Mario even let him slip them on for size?

Switching the subject, Mr Puzzles cleared his throat and brought up something else on his mind. "By the way, did you mean what you said back there?"

"Hm?"

"About us being friends?"

"Of course!" Mario slipped a playful smirk. "Just as long as TV man doesn't go trapping his friends in any more circus parks or TV parodies!" Puzzles chuckled at the reminiscence of his past self and said "Deal."

He was glad to move on from that experience. No longer bent on fame or chaos as he had learned his lesson. Mr Puzzles was proud of himself for making some friends. No...A friend.

~

"Maybe this was a mistake..."

Mr Puzzles was strapped to a chair, cuffs clamped down on his wrists while Mario loomed above him wearing a lab coat and a very itchy looking wig. It was grey and definitely had that mad scientist vibe to it. "What are you even going to do?" The television gestured as the Italian patted his head reassuringly. "Don't-a fret TV man! Mario figured if we can't stop the hoo-ha from the outside, we'll have to go inside!"

Puzzles gulped as he inquired with a shaking finger "W-What exactly does that mean...?"

His question was answered when Mario pulled off a white sheet on a nearby table, revealing sharp tools such as knifes, pliers, and even a FREAKIN CHAINSAW. That last one made the color from Puzzles screen drain color. He managed a heavy gulp while feeling several flower petals run down the back of his throat. The plumber took the saw in one hand and pulled his phone out with the other, using his thumb to scroll through a totally legit website.

"Just let Mario find the instructions." His fingers bulged out of his eyes as they stretched to the tip of the screen while the Italian made an annoying humming sound, trying to get to the bottom of the surgery he wanted to perform. After a few scratches to his head, the dumb plumber replied "Oh wait, Mario forgot he doesn't know how to read."

With that out of the way, Mario chucked his phone behind his back and continued on with the operation. "Screw it! Let's-a go do it anyway!" He immediately jumped into action with the saw as Mr Puzzles screamed and curved his body to the right, causing Mario to miss him just by an inch. "This isn't going to work Mario! Try something else!"

"Humph, fine!" The Italian grabbed a giant pair of scissors and aimed for the TV man's head this time. Once again, Puzzles ducked out of the way and kept screaming for the insane maniac to stop.

"For god's sake Mario, this isn't working!"

"Keep away from my screen you brute!"

"You are the worst doctor that has ever been my displeasure of appointing!"

All this fighting was starting to get under the dimwitted Italian's thick skin, allowing Mario not to pay attention to his surroundings and tripping over a coiled hose on the ground. He slipped, dropping the advanced weaponry or "tool" as he called it, and landed on top of Mr Puzzles.

"Mario!? Get off-"

Mr Puzzles fell silent when he realized just how close Mario was to him and where he was positioned. The fat plumber recovered from his fall to soon find quite the predicament that had fallen into their laps. With that hose still wrapped around Mario's leg and Mr Puzzles still pinned down to the table by the shackles, there was no way either of them could scramble away. The Italian spoke first, sinking himself in that deep, bushy mustache of his.

"Mario will get-a outta this!"

"Wait." Mr Puzzles laid his hands on Mario's wrists, gripping them tightly as a cold shiver jolted through the Italian's body. His pupils shrunk and his face was replaced by a beet red in wonder of what the TV man would do to him. "Just calm down...I'm not going to hurt you." Puzzles traced Mario's hands over to his chest and then let go, allowing him to feel his weird torso that felt like a mixture of wires and bones. The Italian started to lift them up, but after seeing the disappointed face on Mr Puzzles, he let them fall back onto his chest, giving him a sigh of relief.

For the first time in what seemed like ages, Mr Puzzles felt at ease, slowly breathing in and out as his wire passages weren't clogged up as before. Mario, on the other hand, was struck with absolute loss. He couldn't even comprehend what was happening as the first thing that came to his mind was quite the dirty assumption.

"Are you trying to hit on Mario?"

Mr Puzzles lost his sense of relaxation as his head shot up and he stuttered "GUH- I NO!!! WHY WOULD I BE DOING THAT!?" Mario shrugged as he wasn't much of an expert on these things. For crying out loud, he was in love with a plate of pasta! The television groaned and laid back down, too mentally exhausted to be arguing right now. The Italian was about to make a run for it until he heard the TV man say in a hushed voice "Shush. Listen." Mario crooked his head and obeyed, putting his ear to his chest. He couldn't hear anything at first until the sounds of slow thumping rang in his ears, making his nose twitch. Mario sat up again as Mr Puzzles let out a crooked smile.

"Ooooo what was that?"

"My heart. It's beating strong and healthy. Whatever you're doing right now, it's working. The Hanahaki appears to be weakening whenever you're around me Mario."

"Awww that's-a so nice!"

The fact that he knew his presence was helping the TV man made the fat plumber bring him in for a hug, but while he wasn't looking, Mr Puzzles flipped a switch that undid the shackles and sat up, pushing him away immediately. "That doesn't mean you have my permission to hug me." Mario understood the respect of his personal space, but smirked as now this moment was going to hang over their heads forever. Mr Puzzles got tired of looking at his stupid smirk and stood up, prompting the clumsy oaf to fall on the floor. "Ahem, but this isn't enough. This is only good as a temporary solution. We'll need to get to the bottom of this Hanahaki disease first."

He turned towards the dizzy Italian and asked him "Tell me, you have many friends. Would any of them happen to know anything about this besides Smg4 and his uptight buddy?" Mario stared off into space in search for an answer to that question, but any one of the crew members would probably be just as upset as Four or Three were.

Who else would be willing to give Mr Puzzles a chance?

All of a sudden, a lightbulb flickered on in his head as Mario perked up with a raised finger "I've-a got it!" He leaned over to the television box and whispered "Oh, Mario knows just the friend!"

"Who?...Oh..."

~

On the far side of the Mushroom Kingdom was that determined and confident inkling-turned human, Meggy. She was sitting on the porch of her house, having a friendly chat with Tari. Their training session had ended a little earlier than expected so the two of them decided to use these last few minutes hanging out. Seems like ages since they were able to just kick back and relax.

"And then he actually filled up my Splattershot with juice! Can you believe that!?" Meggy playfully punched the blue haired girl's arm as she giggled and said "That's so silly. Oh, that reminds me, I can't remember the last time we had a Splatoon Turf war. We should schedule another one sometime."

"Yeah, I'd like that a lot." Meggy smiled at her close friend, thinking nothing could ever ruin this kind of happiness ever again. But that's when she noticed how frightened Tari was as she sunk into her knees. "Tari? You okay? Is something there?"

"M-Mr Puzzles..."

"Mr Puzzles? That's impossible! He's in rehab. How could he have possibly-" Meggy refused to believe her tormentor was back with a sudden return. She crooked her head slightly to the left and couldn't believe what her eyes were showing her. Mario was waving a friendly hello while trailing their greatest enemy, or should I say her greatest enemy literally right to her doorstep.

"Hiya Meggy! We need a favor!" The Italian noticed Puzzles shy unresponsiveness as he was trying to avoid eye contact. With a huff, the red plumber nudged the TV man in the arm and told him "Don't-a be rude! Say hello to whoomy!" Mr Puzzles plastered a fiercely shaky smile and stuttered "G-Greetings my d-dear M-Meggy..." The orange haired girl didn't say a word until she threw Tari behind her and exclaimed "Mr Puzzles!? Guys, get down!" She took out her Splattershot and aimed it at him, catching both the television and fat Italian off guard.

"No Meggy, wait! It's-a not like that!"

Before Mario had a chance to correct his mistaken friend, she pulled the mustached man out of Mr Puzzles' grasp in an effort to protect him. "Why the hell did you bring him here Mario!? Don't you know he's out to get us!?"

Puzzles stepped forward and reached a hand out to reason with his former associate. "He's speaking the truth! We need your help before it's too lat-" And there it was again. In that moment, Mr Puzzles ate crap as he fell to the ground hard as he wasn't just harshly coughing, but choking. Tari and Mario gasped in horror while Meggy let her tension relax, seeing how that dastardly TV couldn't do anything dastardly in that state.

Mr Puzzles gagged while clutching his neck until he threw up a thorny vine that got caught in between the crooks of his screen. It appeared to be stuck as half of it was still lodged in that poor television's throat while the other piece was hanging out like a radiated tongue. Mario ran forward and tried assisting by gripping the vine and yanking that thing out like a sore tooth. Eventually, the pulling became so strong that the pesky root snapped and sent both careening to the floor. Mr Puzzles whimpered and snapped in a hoarse voice "Thanks a lot, now my throat feels like crap." Tari wasn't so worried about her own safety anymore as she went over and knelt down to comfort him. "You poor thing. Let's get you inside for some rest."

"Oh yeah, because that worked out so well the last time he was 'invited' to my house." Meggy remarked sarcastically as she wasn't the biggest fan of that idea. Mario went up to her and pleaded sincerely "Please Meggy, TV man is in-a lot of pain right now and he might-a die if we don't do something soon. Mario can't do it on his own...he needs you Meggy...Mr Puzzles needs you." Meggy's stern expression changed into a lighthearted one as she glanced over at him, carefully standing back help with Tari's support.

She crossed her arms and grumbled "Fine...just until he gets his strength back."

With the help of all three of them, Mr Puzzles hobbled inside Meggy's humble abode and was brought over to the couch, lying down as comfortable as he could get. It didn't help that his long legs went over the side, but he was too exhausted at this point to do anything about it. Mario patted his head sweetly while Tari informed him "Stay here. I'll go get you some pillows and a blanket." She rushed upstairs while Meggy took a seat in the chair next to the couch, watching the bond between the plumber and TV headed man. "Now tell me..." She raised an eyebrow with curiosity as the two looked up.

"What do you know about this mysterious illness so far?"

The red Italian was too stupid to make any sense with his answer so Mr Puzzles was forced to do it for him. "From what we know, this supposed Hanahaki is because I apparently suffer from one sided love, it makes me hack up flowers and vines growing from inside my heart as you just saw, and it can either be cured from my crush returning their feelings or losing my memories...oh, and Mario apparently heals me temporarily whenever he's around."

"Mario?" Tari asked as she had just come down with a warm blanket and a giant pillow that was just big enough to support a television box. She slipped it delicately under his head and draped the soft blanket over his body, making Mr Puzzles feel a bit better.

"Ooooo yes! Mario and TV guy were making out earlier!" The misleading Italian explained before Puzzles slapped him on the head and precisely explained "NO WE WEREN'T! He just fell on me and the close proximity to my chest made the Hanahaki disappear for a few minutes." The girls shared a perplexed glance with each other as they actually wondered if their friend had hit it off with the guy who had been terrorizing them for months.

"So...what do you think we should do?"

Meggy rubbed her chin and answered in a long, defunct silence until Tari proposed "Well, you said it can be cured when your beloved returns their feelings, maybe that could be Mario." Her offer was instantly met with the unison of everyone else in the room yelling "NO!"

"This perpetrating pasta lover can't possibly be who I've fallen for!"

"Hey! What's wrong with Mario?"

"Where to even start...How about you're an absolute buffoon compared to my perfection."

"Nuh huh!"

"Well what's wrong with me?"

"I'll give you three good reasons! You're obsessive, a deranged lunatic, and almost killed us on several occasions!" Meggy badmouthed off to him.

Mr Puzzles muttered "Not exactly what I meant but sure..." Tari tried reasoning with her "But Meggy! If this sickness is based on unrequited love, wouldn't the person he likes be the remedy in this situation. Like Mario being close to him is what chases away the disease."

"I- but I- maybeeeee...." The orange haired girl tried to rebuttal that point, but she couldn't argue with the facts as she managed a hard shrug. Guess Mr Puzzles really did love him.

"NO! I refuse to believe it! It's not him!" Mr Puzzles clutched the sides of his head as the screams rang out, but then went back to coughing seconds later as his head slumped back into the pillow. "You can't keep denying your feelings or your symptoms will only get worse!" Tari told him as she caught a few flower petals drifting from his screen.

"But Mario already has a true love, spaghetti!"

"See that!? That's exactly why I can't like him! I'd prefer to be with someone with a POSITIVE IQ!"

"Well what would it take to prove that you like him?" Meggy asked him as the snooty television crossed his arms and turned around, back facing towards her. "Nothing." Tari drummed her mechanical fingers along her chin and then got an idea.

"What if you two went on a date?"

"A DATE!?" Both Mr Puzzles and Mario blushed immensely, their faces redder than even the ripest tomatoes. "Yeah, it could be a chance to prove that you two aren't the perfect match. If it works out then we'll know for sure that Mario is the cure! If it doesn't, we'll find out how to fix you some other way. What do you think?" The blue haired girl held her hands behind her back and rocked back and forth in an innocent manner. The pair stared back at each other, blinking for a few moments until Puzzles cleared his throat and said "I guess that sounds fair. But if that fat Italian puts his gross, juicy lips anywhere near my screen I'll sucker punch him!"

"Sounds good to Mario! Anything for food!"

They stared at each other defiantly, one suspicious while the other unsuspecting of what he just signed up for. "So you'll do it?" Tari asked as the foolish plumber wagged his head in agreement and stuck out his hand for the TV man to shake as he sat up more properly and clasped his grip in Mario's. The wager was officially set.

"Deal!"

[gachawolfiebloom]

NEW WICKED TRAILER CAME OUT!!!

I saw the offical trailer a few days and absolutely loved it! Definitely watching it when it comes out! Anyway here's some AU recreations of my favorite parts of the trailer.

(SPOILERS FOR THE WICKED FOR GOOD TRAILER BELOW)

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They finally meet again after all those years apart!

In my AU, when SMG4 becomes the Good Witch of the North, he wears the super crown and a blue staff.

Princess Peach and her t-pose Toad squadron.

SMG3: The Wicked Witch of the West, coming to bring forth the truth.

They're looking at the beautiful twinkling lights.

Fun Fact: We don't say the word "stars" around Three because of the traumatic experience he encountered as a little witchling that brings back terrible memories anytime someone brings it up.

[gachawolfiebloom]

NEW ONESHOT!

I was thinking about what I could contribute for pride month when I decided to take inspiration from the English essay I wrote a few weeks ago, which just so happened to be on LGBTQ rights.

Enjoy this little oneshot exploring the peer pressure on my favorite gay bois when they finally are tying the knott.

Please understand this is not meant to offend anyone, I'm just spreading awareness for this month and the different sexualities.

(And yes, I'm using Gmod again).

Happy Pride Month!

[gachawolfiebloom]

Rainy Days

A SMG34 Gmod comic

This project was brought to you by my experimentation with the weather tool in Gmod. Please ignore the lighting changes...

[gachawolfiebloom]

As a occasional Marware writer myself, I fully agree this is NOT okay. People can have different interests and ships they like. It’s okay if you don’t like them yourself, but please don’t criticize someone and leave them hate comments. I can get hate messages every once in a while and it can really demotivate me so please think through what you say and take our feelings into account!

Hey everyone. This post will contain some triggering topics, mainly graphic death threats and wishes that someone will commit su*c*de.

Please continue with this at your own risk, but this is something very serious and something Marware fanfic writers are dealing with that needs to be addressed because it has become something more than just a few hate comments.

I don't usually make posts like this, but as I said, it needs to be addressed because this is very real and very harmful to myself and others.

There has been a guest commenter on Marware fics that has been leaving hate comments on them. Ok. No big deal.

But it has escalated to full death threats and telling someone to commit the unaliving themself.

I was the one who received the former. This is a comment that was left on my Bitten Promises Aftermath fic that I made for Brian:

It has been the same guest commenter on all of them. It's escalated to being absolutely horrible, and this specific comment triggered me as I have clinical depression and once upon a time had contemplated such a thing, wondering if the world would be better without me in it. This comment sent me back to a horrible time in my life that I don't want to revisit.

But that's not all the horrible shit this commenter has said. The following was a comment left on @/ominus-potato's drabbles fic:

This is NOT ok. This guest, and yes, we're certain it's the same person, has been sending hate and death threats to Marware fic writers.

@/briandraws and I had to turn off guest comments because of this person.

I don't know what else to do, because sadly this keeps positive comments from guests away as well. But know that this is serious. Marware fic writers are getting literal death threats, and it's always the first comment that appears on our fics too. Imagine you spend hours writing a fic and the first comment is about how much someone wishes you were dead and explaining how they will do it in graphic detail.

This is mostly just to make people aware of what is going on and telling people it is not ok to do this. We are real people with real lives. We are human beings the same as everyone else who are just writing a ship we enjoy and find cute.

This needs to stop, but sadly I don't know what else to do about it other than spread awareness of this person's vile actions because this is not ok.

We will continue to write Marware content. This won't deter us, but it does affect our mental health along the lines. As I said, the comment I received literally triggered me and took me back to relive moments I would rather leave behind me. This has gone beyond hate comments to becoming a serious problem for me and other Marware fic writers.

If you read this, thank you. This person should not be allowed to get away with these actions as they are seriously affecting our mental health.

[gachawolfiebloom]

Love Malfunction

Chapter 3: Operation Infiltrate The Castle

Summary: Love is in the air as the Mushroom Kingdom is celebrating Valentine's Day, except for a certain someone. Mr Puzzles has hated the holiday ever since he can remember, seeing how nobody loved him his whole life. That is until he unexpectedly runs into his loathsome enemy, Mario. After the encounter with the stupid plumber, things only get worse for the television as he starts hacking up flower petals, pink ooze drips from his screen, and for some reason these symptoms worsen anytime the TV man gets around the red Italian. Now the both of them must fix this before their days of romance turn into disaster.

"Mario, did you finish cleaning the kitchen yet?"

Smg4 peaked into the kitchen to find it was exactly the same as how he left it. Pasta sauce everywhere while a discarded broom laid in the center that was identical to the one he had politely asked Mario to use for cleaning up this mess of his own doing, except the red Italian wasn't there.

"THAT DOUBLE CROSSING...CROSSER!"

Even though it made his blood boil to see his best friend ditching him like that, he was sorta expecting this dumb*** to avoid work like he always did. Four sighed and picked up the broom, forced to clean the kitchen himself until a knock came at the door. Without a moments notice, the blue eyed man discarded the responsibility as well and marched over to the front door in a mixture of relief and hard feelings. "Thank god, Mario probably came back because he forgot some leftover snack in the fridge or-"

Upon opening the door, Four was ready to unleash a barge of questions on the inconsistency of his annoying best friend, but was instead greeted by the lowly face of his ex-rival, Smg3. "Sup dude, you got any spare coffee beans? I just ran out at the cafe."

"O-Oh...Three. What a pleasant surprise."

The bearded man crooked an eyebrow in confusion as he wasn't used to such a warm welcome by Four. Usually, he'd just let Three barge in and "borrow" whatever it was he needed. "Uh, you...good?"

"Yeah!" Smg4 replied back almost instantly. "I just thought you were Mario. I asked him to clean the kitchen and he just up and left." This was certainly not news to Three as he knew the sneaky plumber almost as well as his partner did. Shrugging it off in a dismissive manner, Smg3 imposed again "So...the beans?"

"Ah- Right!"

Four turned his head towards the kitchen for a second before reverting his attention back to Three and instructed him "Just sit tight and I'll go grab them from the cabinet!" He put his hands up in reassurance, but Smg3 wasn't 100% convinced by that gesture. However, before he could say something, Four slammed the door in his face and ran over to the kitchen, startling Three in the process. The bearded man blinked for a moment, but then scoffed and crossed his arms. He hated when Smg4 wouldn't tell him when something was bothering him, but getting such a rude gesture in response. Three was on the verge of calling it quits and coming back another time until he heard the sounds of crashing from inside as if pots and pans were tumbling down on someone.

Finally, Smg3 reached his limit and let himself in, mumbling something that was probably an insult towards the blue eyed man. He peaked inside the kitchen, only for it to look like a natural disaster had struck the place. The sauce stains were still deep in the walls as ever, kitchenware had turned the floor into a minefield, and in the center laid poor Smg4 with a pot on top of his head. Three couldn't help but snicker at his state and said "Guess I know why Mario was avoiding cleaning now."

He cautiously hopped over knifes and cutlery while Four tipped the pot embarrassedly over his eyes. He just wanted one normal Saturday, instead he was making a complete fool out of himself in front of his former archenemy. Four tried getting up as quickly as he could until he felt a soft hand interlocking with his and slowly pulling him up. Three removed the pot from his head, allowing Four to see his small smile. "You need some help with this?"

"You'd do that for me? Does that mean you care!?" Four squealed in excitement as he did anytime his partner did something unexpectedly nice for him.

"N-NO! I'm just doing this so I can get my coffee beans and go!"

"Sureeeee~" Smg4 teased with a smirk as Three blushed and turned his head, muttering "Y-You...Baka."

Jokes and teasing aside, Four grabbed a broom and began sweeping while Three set down the pot he was holding onto a counter and went to help. However, neither of them realized the two figures spying on them from outside. One of them said in a hushed voice "They're distracted, now's our chance!" The other shouted in his cheerful stupidity "Okie dokie! Es-mg-4 and Es-mg-3 will never know that we're-"

His sentence was suddenly cut off by someone's silhouette smacking against his mouth. Three and Four whipped their heads around and the two shadows ducked down before the boys got suspicious. If only they knew that Mr Puzzles and Mario were now huddled down underneath the window outside the castle, preparing a devious plot to get inside. The Italian flapped his arms like a bird and made muffled screaming into the pale white gloves of the TV-headed man, but he huffed back "Shut up or you're going to give us away! Nobody else can know about this!"

Mario showed no signs of stopping so Puzzles sighed and kept him pinned down on the ground while he took another gander inside. The two meme guardians were still focusing on their work, occasionally getting on each other's nerves with some playful banter, but nothing special for Mr Puzzles to take note of.

"Okay, phase one is complete. This setback should work in our favor by keeping Smg4 and Smg3 out of our antennas." He turned a dial on his TV box and his screen changed to a camera stationed in the game room of the castle. "Phase two is now set in motion. This 'game room' is our objective so the best course of action is to sneak in from the front. Lead the way Mario!"

His eyes then shifted down to the flimsy Italian, his cheeks now puffed up and his skin turning blue. "Mario?" At first he thought of what an odd power this mustached man had, but then realized his hands were still blocking his airway. "Ah! Sorry!" Puzzles traced his arms back with a nervous smile as Mario sat up and panted heavily, clasping onto his chest to feel the air return to his lungs. Mr Puzzles replicated his actions for some reason, except his chest felt a slight tug of discomfort. A sign that this strange illness was worsening. "You could have killed Mario you stinky!" the upset Italian retorted in backlash, but the only reply the television could give right then was another case of hacking flowers. Mario stood in silence as Mr Puzzles bent over and coughed for a good few minutes. Mario didn't want to interrupt him, in fact he didn't exactly want to do or say anything in that moment.

After Puzzles finally found peace again, he wiped his mouth with his sleeve and croaked "Forgive me Mario, I'm not quite myself right now. I can tell something's wrong. It's not like I can keep this up forever." He hugged himself in fear and tensed his shoulders. Rocking back and forth, he felt like was going through some intense deja vu. Like any moment he would wake up and be back at...

Sluggish arms snaked around Puzzles' neck and something soft nuzzled into his TV box. He glanced upwards and saw Mario hugging him from behind, his bushy mustache sending sparks down Puzzles' back whenever it tickled his surface. "We're going to fix this, okie TV-man?" For the first time that day, Mr Puzzles smiled genuinely and patted Mario's hand. "Right, right. I keep forgetting that." Mario pulled him up, but surprisingly didn't let go. What was even more weird was he was now dragging Mr Puzzles in the opposite direction. "Wh- Where are we going?"

"Mario knows a secret way into the castle through the roof. Not like he ever snuck in when Mario wasn't supposed to."

The TV-headed man could have sworn the front door was unlocked. Was Mario really that concerned of what his friends might do if they found him here? Oh well, guess he's gonna wing it.

~

One secret ladder trip and supply stock-up later, the duo were now standing on the roof of Smg4's castle, dressed in thick black suits over their casual wear. "I can't believe I'm about to say this, but why do we need to be dressed in these silly costumes? It looks like we're about to rob a bank!"

"Don't worry TV-man!" The fat Italian assured while breaking through the roof with a crowbar. "We can do that after the break-in!" Puzzles' eye twitched as he tried searching for any sense of that response. "You- what!? I don't understand! Are you trying to get us arrested or something!?" Mario ignored his pleas and busted a hole just big enough for a person to slip through. "Oooooo hope Es-mg-4 has insurance." He then grabbed a rope and said "Now just lower Mario down and he'll swing over to the game room." Mr Puzzles stared glaringly at him with a lowbrow expression.

"Oh yeah, sure of course. Anything you say Mario! NOT!"

He swiped the rope out of Mario's hands and tied it around his waist. "If anyone is doing this then it's going to be me! I know all about crime shows!"

"But Mario has played Supa Luigi goes to prison! Let him go!" He tugged on the rope as hard as he could while Mr Puzzles stuck out his arms to keep from falling. "You made that up! I have the better experience here!" His foot then stumbled on a loose piece of debris that broke off and fell to the floor with a thud. "Quit it before you make the whole ceiling collapse!" The mustached man relentlessly tugged until he also slipped and dragged Puzzles' down with him in the process. They landed on each other face to face, the rope tied around their waists.

It didn't take long for both their faces to go immediately red and hot, trapped in a sticky situation. They sat up and struggled as hard as they could, begging to be relieved of this awkward situation. Mr Puzzles couldn't take this anymore as he burst out "ALRIGHT! You can go! Just get me out of here!" He pulled the end of the rope that was holding them together and scrambled off him, covering his flushed screen. "Yippee! Mario always gets his way!"

"I'll never understand you..."

Mario was slowly lowered down as Puzzles carefully declined the rope with intense precision. One wrong move and they were busted. The red Italian couldn't care less about the stakes as he called up to his partner in crime "Lookie TV-man! It's like we're real spies!"

"Just...get...to...the...room!" the television hissed in slow mouthfuls as he clung onto the rope tightly. Mario looked down and realized he was at the bottom of the castle's lobby, the game room right across. "Oooo I gotchu!" Mario replied with a thumbs up back up at him. He stretched his arm out with those freaky cartoon physics of his and placed it on the shiny doorknob, but he needed more weight in order to pull it. "TV-guy!" The mustached man alerted Mr Puzzles.

"What!?"

"Mario needs his whole body weight to open the door! Swing Mario over closer!"

"Are you kidding me!? I'm barely hanging by a thread right no-"

Unfortunately, poor Mr Puzzles' bad luck was bestowed upon him again as a small cough emitted from his scratchy throat. Mario swung a bit as he held out his unused arm to regain a steady balance. "Woah! What's going on TV-guy?" Puzzles started letting out more coughs, his grip loosening on the rope. "No...not now. I can feel the rose petals coming up again."

"Hold it in TV-man or else our spaghetti will be toast!"

Hearing these delicious words coming out of his mouth, Mario smacked his lips with drool dripping from his mouth. "Mmmm spaghetti toast~"

"Snap out of it you filthy worm! This is no time for your food filled fantasies! We've got to get to those computers before-"

In that moment an irritatingly itchy feeling got caught in his throat as if something sharp was scratching his neck. Mr Puzzles couldn't hold back anymore a let out a painfully loud cough, letting go of the rope in the process.

"TV-MAN!"

The Italian was about to hit the floor, but his screams alerted Puzzles just in time so he could grab the end of the rope and pull Mario up. The force of the impact regrettably sent Mario flying straight into the wall with a loud thud that could have shook the entire castle if it was any harder.

Smg4 and Smg3 heard the suspicious sound from the kitchen, making them stop what they were doing instantly. "What the hell was that?"

"Ooofff Mario's head feels dizzy." He put a hand up to his spinning head while Mr Puzzles clung to the last bits of rope. "H-Hold on! I'll- COUGH COUGH COUGH!" All this hacking was swinging the fat Italian around, throwing him into walls with repeated thuds.

Three and Four kept looking at the door with raised eyebrows as the bearded man spoke up "Seriously, is Bob having another breakdance party out there?" Four, on the other hand, knew exactly who was creating all that noise. And he wasn't happy when he figured who it was.

By this point, Mr Puzzles was down on his knees, coughing in agonizing pain. "T-This is even worse t-than the l-last t-time!" He was so caught up in hacking up that damn flower that he couldn't hear the sounds of crumbling beneath him.

Eventually, Smg4 slammed open the door and yelled "What is all that-" but got caught off guard by the flying Italian heading his direction. Quickly, Four ducked down as Mario soared over his head and then swung back to the center. Smg3 came rushing out to find the mustached man dangling by a rope, nervously waving. "Hiya Es-mg-3..."

"Mario! You better have a good explanation for making me clean up your crap!"

"And smashing up my walls!"

Four yelled in a tone just as frustrated as Three's.

"About that...Mario can explain." But before he could get a word in, the two heard screams of terror as a certain TV headed man came falling down below, dragging Mario down with him as they fell into the floor, all tangled up in the rope and each other. Now Three and Four were really confused. As Puzzles woozily sat up, he found himself being stared down by his enemies. "WHAT IN ALL THE LAND OF MEMES ARE YOU DOING HERE!?"

"Uhhh...."

Mr Puzzles scratched his head, realizing he had to come up with an excuse and fast.

"We're...doing a spy comedy show?" He stuck his hands out sheepishly while both men thought that was the stupidest idea they ever heard. "Ha! Nice try! Why are you really here?"

"I-"

All of sudden, he gripped his neck tightly and leaned over, coughing out dozens of flower petals. The red plumber sat up and laid eyes on the suffering sight. "TV-MAN! ARE YOU OK!?" He ran over and rubbed his back comfortingly while his two best friends gasped. Mr Puzzles stuttered "I-I'm running out of time...we've got to get to the game room."

"You were trying to break into my game room!?" Four accused as Mario's eyebrows went stern. Slowly, he helped the television up, clinging onto him while he said defensively "We had no choice! TV-guy needs to know what's wrong with him! Mario caused this and he's going to fix it!"

"That doesn't mean he gets to barge in here like he owns the place!" Three retorted as Mario didn't listen to a word he said. If anything, he was disgusted by his friends' behaviors.

"Mario doesn't care! If we don't do this, TV-man might DIE! Our archenemies don't deserve to die! No matter how much of an a**hole they are! Right!? RIGHT!?" Mario looked like he was about to burst into tears, awaiting their response. Four and Three were silent, struck by past experiences of their own. They glanced at each other, thinking about a certain event before looking solemnly down at the ground and muttering in unison "I guess..." Mario and Puzzles sighed in relief, but then the Italian subtly pushed their luck. "Sooooo can we go use the computers now?"

He whined like a puppy, putting on his best acting chops as Four sighed and said "Fine, ONLY if you go clean up your mess in the kitchen!" That was good enough for Mario as he cried out in a megaphone styled cheer "WHOOPEE!" Mr Puzzles formed a small smile and whispered "Thank you...for your help Smg4." He reached his hand forward, but Four smacked it away and told him "I'm not doing this for your sake! Mario is just very persistent! Once we figure this out, you're getting out of my castle and never coming back again! Understand?"

Puzzles looked disheartened, but gave a small nod and slumped his shoulders with a bit of grievance. Seems Smg4 hadn't changed one bit.

~

Their plan had failed, that's for sure, but now thanks to Mario's stupid convincing words, Mr Puzzles was now standing in the game room with his forsaken foes, listening to the clicks and clacks of Smg4's fingers on the keyboard. Their past resentment left a bitter silence in the room, nobody bothering to start up some past drama except for Three and his annoying complaint of "I just wanted my coffee beans..."

After a while, Four pulled up the internet's top search site, Ooogle. "Alright, what are we searching for?"

"Spaghetti pox!" Mario chanted before Mr Puzzles kicked him in the shin and calmly replied "Flower related diseases." The blue eyed man swiveled his chair back around and typed in a few words. He scrolled through the results for a while until something interesting popped up. "What about this? 'Hanahaki Disease.'"

"Hanahaki? Never heard of it." Mr Puzzles squinted in confusion at the screen as Four clicked on a link that took him to some information sight and read the description. "Hanahaki is a disease in which its victim coughs up flower petals when suffering from one-sided love." Mario's mustache instantly grew when he heard those last words, leaning on Puzzles seductively and teased "Oooooo is TV-man in love with someone?"

"W-What!? NO!" He pushed the mustached man off him and reasoned "I can't be in love! I grew up knowing nothing about love! My parents never approved of me and it's not like anyone here has made me feel any different!"

"You sure about that? You certainly have had it out for squid these past months." Three questioned as Mr Puzzles shook his head and said "No...Leggy was my loyal friend. I started feeling this way for her long ago. This can't be what this is!"

"Well...this is the best lead we've got so far. I mean, just listen to this." Four pointed at the screen as the TV headed man drew closer for a better look. "The symptoms take many forms depending on who it infects, but each case is strongly connected to the root of the flower, growing in either the victim's heart or lungs."

"What the hell does that mean? How can we possibly know which one it is?" Mario rubbed his mustache crinkly and stared off into space. "Hmmmm Mario doesn't know. Does TV-guy have any clue?" Mr Puzzles stared down at his hands, not saying a word since he heard that particular paragraph.

"Spit it out! Do you know which one it is or not!" Three spat as he finally got a drained response.

"Yes. I know."

The trio gasped in shock as Mr Puzzles clenched his fists and spoke "I...I don't have lungs. I lost the need for many human organs when I replaced my head with a TV."

"So this rose is growing in your heart?" Four prompted in curiosity, placing his hands together.

"I...guess. I do have a heart, but it's a mechanical one. Not only that, but it's the core of my body. All my wires are connected to it, giving me the electricity I need to function."

The idiot plumber stared up derpily at him, not understanding why he was saying it so sadly. That was, until the weight of the situation began to sink in. "Wait. Does that mean if this hoo ha keeps growing, TV-man could shut down...for good." Puzzles didn't dare face him, not providing an answer, but he knew that Mario was right.

The Italian was trembling with frightfulness. He spun around and ran up to Smg4, screaming in a panic right to his face. "WE HAVE TO CURE HIM NOWWWW! FIND SOMETHING ES-MG-4!"

"Okay, okay, geez man!" He scrolled the mouse wheel down further and smiled when he saw the next line of text. "Oh, here we go! It actually can be cured!"

"Really!?" Both the television and the big nosed Italian rushed up to hear more while Three noticed their tendency to copy each other's actions. He wondered, was Mr Puzzles in love with...Mario? Four read off the article "Hanahaki ends when the victim's lover returns their feelings or when the victim dies." Puzzles' excitement wore off. "Ah..." Disappointment struck as Mario questioned "What's wrong?"

"If I did have a crush...which I don't...they wouldn't feel the same."

Four kept skimming the article and piped up "Hold on! There's another way...but-"

"But what?"

"Mr Puzzles would lose all his romantic feelings, including his memories."

Author's Note: Hey guys! Thank you for being so patient while I finished Chapter 3 of Love Malfunction. Sorry I've been on indefinite hiatus, but not even a frequent poster like myself can keep this up all the time. I was on a family vacation and got sick afterwards so these past few weeks have been spent trying to get better. Thank you all for the support on this story while I've been working on it. It means the world!

[gachawolfiebloom]

Hello, wonderful souls! 🤍🌍

I hope you're doing well. 🌿

Could you help me amplify my family's story and bring awareness to our struggle? 🙏🏻

💬 Please reblog my pinned post or consider donating just $5—your support could truly make a difference in saving lives amidst war and hardship.

Your kindness and voice matter more than you know. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! 🤍🌿

🕊️ @mosabsdr | Every share counts. 💫

Help donate anything you can~

[gachawolfiebloom]

Mr. WPNZ in SMG4 Wicked AU?...YOU BET!

His story is a little different in this universe. He and Karen used to be a couple until they found out Karen was pregnant with kids. After hearing the story of how the governor's son was born green, he fled in fear that his children would end up the same way, leaving Karen hurt and confused in the process. She's resented him ever since that day and raises her kids to make sure they never go down the same path SMG3 their father did.

Because as all of Odd says...

No One Mourns The Wicked!

[gachawolfiebloom]

Defying Gravity!

With how far I've planned the Wicked AU so far, I can now confirm there is at least one scene where SMG4 and SMG3 kiss and yes, it's the Defying Gravity scene. Unfortunately, SMG34 will not be canon in this AU due to the events that follow in Act II, causing Three and Four to drift apart and forced to be separated in the end. In a future post I will upload the reference sheets and an explanation of how their relationship works in this universe.

Kiss Me Goodbye, I'm Defying Gravity~

[gachawolfiebloom]

NEW FIC ANNOUNCEMENT!

Gmod is actually really fun and great to experiment with. I've decided I want to use it for my projects other than the Wicked AU and that's when I decided to create a brand new fic with Gmod screenshots layered throughout.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64296334/chapters/165043174

First chapter is already posted. I don't know how often uploads will be with this one, but I really look forward to expanding this one for the many months to come.

(I have no clue if this idea has been done already)

[gachawolfiebloom]

SMG4 Musicals have me on the hook right now

The phantom and Celeste have some of the best vocals I've ever heard

SMG4 Phantom of the Opera AU belongs to @Worldly_univers on X

Poor SMG3 has been waiting for that kiss for so long...

GIVE IT TO HIM SMG4!!!

Epic the Musical X SMG4 belongs to @merp0515

I swear to god, Galinda's hair toss was the most iconic part of the movie

SMG4 Wicked AU created by me!!! @gachawolfiebloom

[gachawolfiebloom]

Love Malfunction

Chapter 2: Something Is Wrong

Summary: Love is in the air as the Mushroom Kingdom is celebrating Valentine's Day, except for a certain someone. Mr Puzzles has hated the holiday ever since he can remember, seeing how nobody loved him his whole life. That is until he unexpectedly runs into his loathsome enemy, Mario. After the encounter with the stupid plumber, things only get worse for the television as he starts hacking up flower petals, pink ooze drips from his screen, and for some reason these symptoms worsen anytime the TV man gets around the red Italian. Now the both of them must fix this before their days of romance turn into disaster.

He couldn't see it. He couldn't see anything. All that surrounded him was darkness. The same darkness from where he entered this hellhole. But that wasn't all...

Something was...off.

His body felt like it was being weighed down, an extreme pain in his chest that caused immense suffering anytime he breathed. Where were his legs? He had made use without them before, but this wasn't his doing. It felt like they had been ripped clean off. Why can't he feel his arms? It was as if they had been replaced by deep roots that implanted the same pain from within his screaming chest. His vision had been blurred out by his broken screen, but not like that mattered with all this eternal blackness around him. After moments of silence, he began to speak.

"Ugh. Wh- What happened...?"

His body stayed locked in its position despite his urges to fight it. Panic began to settle in as the situation began to sink into his memory.

"Why can't I move? What's going on!? Am I back at the asylum!?"

By this point he was desperate for somebody, anybody to come to his aid. Leggy, Smg4, even Mario. Nobody was there. Nobody was around to help. He was alone.

"Huh?"

His attention then shifted to a pile on the ground beneath him. They looked like...rose petals?

"What...What is this?"

Begging for a closer look, he resisted the urge to succumb to the unbearable suffering within him as he used his weird arms to crawl over. He didn't understand. It was just an innocent pile of petals. There wasn't anything special about them. Nothing but a display of pity.

That's when the pile began to stir like some kind of creature was underneath. The petals scattered to reveal an unconscious man. He was suddenly petrified when he saw who it was.

"N-No...It can't be..."

He couldn't believe what he just saw. It can't be. There's no way it could be him.

"Mar-"

~

Mr Puzzles woke up with a start, sitting up while accompanied by a cold and shaky breath. Sweat lines were imaged on his screen and his shaky grip clutched the sides of his rickety bed. That tragic climax, that horrifying scene. Puzzles couldn't stop replaying those ghastly images that were imbedded in his mind. He let out an unsteady sigh and tried to act as optimistic as possible.

"Heh...just a nightmare. Fleeting shadows of my past. That's all."

But he still kept thinking about that last part. Was his dream a sign for his oncoming future or was it-

All of a sudden, Mr Puzzles felt something get caught in the wires of his throat. He covered his hands over his mouth in queasiness, feeling as if he was going to throw up. In a flash, Mr Puzzles ran over to the dirty bathroom in his household and held his head over the sink, coughing up a storm. Looking back up at his tired expression in the mirror, he saw what had made him so nauseous. A couple of flower petals stuck in the drain. At first, he was confused, trying to make sense of a television hacking up freaking petals that belonged in nature, not his beautiful body.

Then a line from yesterday made the realization instantly clear.

"I hate this flower. Nothing but a display of pity."

Mr Puzzles soon felt something he hadn't experienced in a long time. Fear. He gasped and fell over, causing the mirror to slip from its perch and shatter into thousands of pieces on the floor. The TV-headed man said nothing in that moment as all he could muster was a pained gulp, feeling more flower petals run back down hence they came from. He stared at his cracked reflection in the broken glass shards before getting up rapidly and steadily, wobbling a little bit with one step.

"The flower- Where's the flower!?"

Mr Puzzles kicked the door open and ran back to the spot he'd left the rose last night, his run down table used for capturing many movies that were supposed to put him back on top. Obviously that didn't happen, but Mr Puzzles was too stressed out to worry about it right now. A clear sign that something was definitely wrong with him. As he ran, he kept panicking to himself. "Oh please be there! Oh please, please, please-"

He skidded to a stop and looked down to find the rose exactly where he had put it, except now it had some kind of mystical glow around it, vaguely noticeable, but still a noteworthy factor. Well, at least it didn't pull that old trick of conveniently disappearing and the hero having to set off on a crucial adventure to retrieve the item of importance. Mr Puzzles has seen that classic set up a million times, but he'd never seen anything like this before. The television snatched the flower up and held it close, not letting it out of his sight this time.

"Those petals...they look just like the ones on this rose Mario gave me."

He ran his finger very gingerly over the pretty petals in observation, but his tone soon turned to annoyance and aggressiveness while his face glitched into a peeved expression.

"Mario..."

~

"Mario, how many goddamn times do I have to tell you!? CLEAN. UP. THE. KITCHEN."

Smg4 shoved a broom into the Italian's hands, pointing towards the stains all over the floor of none other than spaghetti sauce. "But Mario hates cleaning!" He whined as Four ignored his pleas and stated "Too bad! You caused this mess and you're going to clean it up! Understand?" Mario shrunk to the size of a Goomba and innocently nodded, scared of his best friend's anger. "Good! Don't leave this kitchen until it's sparkling!"

He slammed the door and Mario soon regained his normal size, sweeping while groaning "Mama mia...Mario didn't know Es-mg-4 hates cooking lessons." He kept sweeping sadly when he heard someone go "Psssst..." The noise made him jump, looking all around the room when another "Psssst..." was heard. For some reason, the plumber's first instinct was to look towards the sky and squint his eyes. "God...is that you?"

"No you half brained dimwit! Over here!" The voice whisper shouted. Mario raised an eyebrow and glanced over at the window, where Mr Puzzles was peeking out of. He had draped a dark hood over him and was gesturing the Italian to come closer. "Oh, it's you TV man! Want-a some spaghetti sauce?" He picked up a dirty wad of sauce off the floor that was crawling with bugs and germs. Mr Puzzles grimaced squeamishly and hissed "Shut it or you're gonna give us away! Just follow me!"

Apparently, the red plumber didn't find it suspicious in the slightest. It could have been a trap or a trick, but he just dropped the broom and said "Okie dokie!" The fat Italian hoisted himself on the windowsill and fell face first into the dirt. "Mario's all good!" He mumbled into the ground. Once he recovered from the drop, Mr Puzzles got right into his face abruptly, boiling with rage that caused the clumsy oaf to fall over once more.

"MARIO YOU PRETENTIOUS PERPETRATOR! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME!?"

Instantly believing he had done something wrong, Mario's eyes widened to saucers before he cried "No please! Mario didn't mean to leave the oven on!"

"What."

"Mario didn't know you have to change the dial!"

"I'm not here because of your inferior cooking skills."

Mario began to calm down, now in wonder and curiosity as he couldn't think of anything else he'd possibly done for Mr Puzzles to have beef with him. "Mario doesn't get it. Did he blow something up again yesterday?" The television had enough of these games as he gripped the Italian by the neck and shook him around while yelling

"STOP ACTING SO NAIVE! YOU GAVE ME THE CURSED ROSE AND NOW I'M GOING THROUGH THIS PARANORMAL SHIFT BECAUSE OF YOU!!!"

The flimsy plumber kept flailing his arms around for help until he stopped for a moment and slanted his eyebrow upwards in confusion. "What rose?"

"THE ONE YOU GAVE ME YESTERDAY THAT I TOOK HOME, AND IS NOW GLOWING, AND I SHOULD HAVE BURNED WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE!!!"

He reached into his pocket and pulled out the thorny rose that was still shining with the most radiant shade of red.

"THAT ROSE!!!"

Mario leaned forward to see and smiled obliviously when he saw the familiar sight. "Ooooo lookie! It's Mario's flower!"

"THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO SAY THIS WHOLE TIME YOU INSOLENT-"

Halfway through his sentence, Mr Puzzles clutched his neck, feeling the same petals from the back of his throat. He dropped the Italian onto his back this time and ran over to the bushes, coughing more violently than this morning. An extreme worry came over Mario, something that snuffed out his usual idiotic antics whenever a close friend like Four or Meggy was in danger. But Puzzles was no friend. He was...an acquaintance. Still, the Italian ran over and rubbed his back in comfort, asking "Is TV man okie...?"

Mr Puzzles lifted his head to see velvety, crimson petals plastered over his screen and descending into the cool grass. The TV-headed man couldn't find the energy to be snappy with Mario anymore as he whispered sternly with a hint of sadness "Is this what you wanted? To see me suffer?" The plumber didn't really have a response to that. Instead, his eyes were locked onto the beautiful petals that were fluttering in the soft breeze. Finally, Mario spoke up.

"TV guy...these...these petals are the same color as Mario's hat!"

He took one between his fingers and held it up to his cap, showing the comparison. Mr Puzzles looked at him with a blank expression. He was hacking up flowers and Mario is worried about color similarities!? After staring aimlessly at each other for a while, the Italian stared down at the rose again and said "Ohhhhhh your flower matches too!" Puzzles wanted to slap him, but then his fury died down. "You're...You're telling the truth. You really have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?" 

Mario shook his head and replied "Nop. But maybe Mario can help!" Thinking his situation was hopeless, Mr Puzzles curled into a ball and hugged his knees, pulling his hood tighter over his television box. "How can you help? My throat feels like it's literally dying and you were my only lead."

"Easy!" Mario pulled out some giant pliers and assured "Mario will yank that nasty weed out like a tooth!" No way was that going to be an option for Mr Puzzles as he screamed and covered his non-existent mouth in horror. "Keep those nasty things away from my beautiful screen!" The red plumber grumbled and threw the pliers off into the sky grudgingly.

Depresso was rummaging through the garbage cans on the other side of the Showgrounds and found a family of rats living inside. "Ah! Finally, somebody who will listen to my jokes!" Suddenly, he felt a dark shadow cast among him and he turned his head in confusion. Next thing he knew, the pliers jammed themselves through his head, causing the run down clown to run around, screaming aimlessly.

Mr Puzzles and Mario stared awkwardly at the violent scene until they shifted eye contact with one another again. The Italian threw on a nervous smile and innocently asked "Ha..ha..who did that?" The TV man rolled his eyes in displeasure and abruptly said "Is there any way you can help WITHOUT torturing me!?" He couldn't help but let out another loud cough with a little wheezing this time. Mario pondered that question with a lack of knowledge until a lightbulb went off in his head.

"Ooooo we can go to the game room!"

"And how the hell does some stupid video games solve my problem?"

"No silly! The computers! We can use them to search up TV guy's condition!"

Mr Puzzles tapped his chin and said "Y'know, that's actually not a bad idea." The offer brought a pleasant smile to his face, figuring out who or what the cause of this perplexing incident was. "Well then, lead on my dear boy!" He was about to put his best foot forward, but was then stopped when a certain big nosed Italian tugged on his hand, urging him about something.

"We can't just go in there willy nilly! Our a***** will get caught for sure! We'll have to get past...Smg4."

[gachawolfiebloom]

CATCH YOU ON THE FLIPSIDE!

[gachawolfiebloom]

Happy 1 year to Your Pursuit of Perfection!

That's right, my first and most successful story on tumblr and wattpad was first published on February 24th!

In honor of this occasion, the thumbnail is getting a GMOD upgrade

The title page and cover from tumblr and wattpad have been updated to match so you can marvel to your little heart's desire!

And a big thank you for over 10,000 reads on wattpad!

[gachawolfiebloom]

We're Back With Another SMG4 Oneshot!

I was rewatching the Retirement of SMG3 episode and noticed how warmly Three reacted to Four being a baby at the end, which made me want to experiment with a father/son type relationship.

Go read it now on Wattpad or AO3!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63265525

I'm honestly surprised there aren't more stories about these two. They're such a cute duo and severely underrated.

WE NEED MORE PAPA 3 AND BABY 4 FANFICTION!!!

[gachawolfiebloom]

Love Malfunction

Chapter 1: Anything But Love

Summary: Love is in the air as the Mushroom Kingdom is celebrating Valentine's Day, except for a certain someone. Mr Puzzles has hated the holiday ever since he can remember, seeing how nobody loved him his whole life. That is until he unexpectedly runs into his loathsome enemy, Mario. After the encounter with the stupid plumber, things only get worse for the television as he starts hacking up flower petals, pink ooze drips from his screen, and for some reason these symptoms worsen anytime the TV man gets around the red Italian. Now the both of them must fix this before their days of romance turn into disaster.

It was that time of the year when love and romance was flying around. The time where couples got together for that special day and gifts were bought for exchanging to a very special person. Anyone could be the special person in this scenario: Melony and her sadly departed Axol, Smg3 and his secret crush on Smg4, and even Mario with his one true love—spaghetti. The only one who could never be that special someone was Mr Puzzles. The dastardly villain with a TV head who had used the crew for his own twisted schemes, grown out of only one thing: hatred of his past. This holiday was certainly no exception. He was forced to go out on the streets and grimace at the tender kisses. Groveling in disgust of all the sweet chocolate hearts and colorful flowers being handed out.

A green heart monitor line graced his screen as Mr Puzzles put a hand up to his face. "Ugh! Gross! How can these brainless peas possibly drool over these cheap gestures!? All this talk about love and affection!" He began mimicking the townsfolk, putting on fake smiles and dancing around.

"Ohhhhh I loovveee yoouuu!"

"I wouldddd neevverrr leave yoouuuu!"

"I care much more about you than some stupid TV THAT ONLY WANTED TO BRING ENTERTAINMENT TO THE WORLD! WE DESERVE ALL THIS LOVE MUCH MORE THAN HIM! NOBODY LOVES HIM!"

A blinding anger settled over him as those hyper realistic eyes broke free and Mr Puzzles stomped his foot down hard. He clutched his chest, breathing rapidly as the television fell into dismay. "I don't understand...I've changed haven't I? Even when I learn my lesson, this feeling just won't go away."

Not one person, not even his parents loved him. Only...Leggy. Mr Puzzles missed her tremendously, but after that whole Puzzle Park ordeal, he knew that he had to let her go. Mr Puzzles took a deep breath to steady himself and thought about how Meggy was doing. He placed a curious finger on his screen and tapped in a rhythmic fashion. "Perhaps I could do a quick check, just to make sure she's okay of course."

Before he set off, Mr Puzzles watched as Frankie was holding a giant heart out in the middle of the street, declaring "III LOOVVVEEE YOUUUUU!" and then got hit by a car. Puzzles rolled his eyes while muttering "And get away from these idiots..."

~

Mario happily knocked at Smg4's door with a dopey smile like always. "ESSMMMGGG44444!" He was certainly excited for the blue eyed man to answer as he had a collection of card, board, and video games that he couldn't wait to share. A few seconds in and Four opened the door, but he wasn't wearing his usual overalls. He was wearing his spy suit from WOTFI 2023. It made the clueless plumber question what was so important for his best friend to be so nicely dressed, but he shrugged it off. "Oh, hi Mario! Is something wrong?" The red Italian didn't answer his question as he just shoved the games in his face and cheered "Let's hang! Mario got's lots of things he wants to play today!"

He tugged at Four's hand, begging him to go to the game room, but he just grimaced and awkwardly replied "Oooo, sorry Mario...but I'm on a very important date right now!" He leaned in seductively and whispered into the Italian's ear "(and I can't keep her waiting.)" Mario looked over his shoulder to see a cruddy drawing of a girl on Four's computer screen. It was so ugly that it made him revolt in disgust, especially since he couldn't imagine Smg4 dating someone other than a certain bearded man. Mario began wailing and rolling on the ground, crying "Waahhhhh you never want to do anything with Mario!"

"It's not that...I just-"

Four had trouble finding the right thing to say for consolation until the crybaby plumber spoke up again. "Mario doesn't want his single a** to be stuck alone on Valentine's Day!"

"Why do you think I have my date scheduled today?" Four unimpressively replied as sometimes he wondered what made Mario so dumb to miss the obvious. "Besides, don't you have your spaghetti?" The mention of his favorite food made him perk up instantly, pulling a plate out and stroking it weirdly. "Oh mi amore...how could Mario forget his one true love?" Four rolled his eyes and grabbed the phone off his desk. "Well anyway, I've got to get going. Good luck with your...girlfriend or whatever." He grabbed his computer girlfriend and strolled out the door as Mario sat there, oddly thinking to himself for once.

"Es-mg-4 is right! Mario can't be stuck here like some whiny bich! Mario's going to find himself a girlfriend!" The plumber stood up confidently when he noticed the plate of spaghetti sitting there sadly. Mario expressed similar feelings as he cradled the plate of pasta and whispered "Don't-a cry. Mario will see you tonight." He stuffed it back down his pants, which was incredibly disgusting, and set off to find himself a date.

~

Mr Puzzles hid behind the wooden beam to the entrance of the Showgrounds, not wanting to attract attention (for once) as he didn't wish to spend the day being hunted down by the crew. He poked his head out and scanned the area for the orange haired girl. "Alright, this shouldn't be too hard." He pulled out some binoculars and scanned the property, finding many of the crew members outside. None of them were the particular one he wanted as it was just Bob running away from the cops with his TOTALLY legal plants, Wario riding on a suffering Yoshi with a big bag of coins he stole, and Egad trying out his new invention, the cloning hairgrowing ray. Mr Puzzles slowly lowered the binoculars with a displeased expression, face slapping himself for ever thinking these dimbulbs could be of any use to him.

He was about to give up and head back home when he heard an encouraging voice shout "That's it Tari! Don't give up!" Instantly, Mr Puzzles screen changed to exhilaration as he spun around and saw in the distance Meggy giving a coaching lesson to Tari. "Just remember to be assertive!" Even though he couldn't talk to her, Mr Puzzles was still thrilled that Meggy was safe and alive in the physical sense. She had actually done really well from recovering as that was enough to convince Mr Puzzles he hadn't completely lost everything.

"Ah wonderful! With my satisfactory check in of dear Meggy, I'd say my work here is done." He was about to happily strode off when he heard another voice. An annoying voice that sung "La la la la la!" Mr Puzzles didn't have to be an Einstein to know who that was. "Oh no..." This time he turned dramatically slow as he didn't want to be right. Alas, it was. Mario.

That stupid fat Italian was going around, peaking in trees and bushes, calling out "Ladies! Come on out girlies! Your sexy hero has arrived!" Mr Puzzles quickly dove into a bush besides the pole and poked out, asking "That idiot is looking for a date? Pfff like anyone would ever date that guy." Out of everyone Mr Puzzles had ever met, he could easily tell the only exception to him being the only unlovable person was that downright moronic enemy of his.

While caught up in his intensive thinking, Mr Puzzles soon noticed Mario shooting a glance his way and he quickly ducked down into the bush. "If he sees me, he'll never let me live it down. I've got to get out of here!" He began crawling away, but was met with two big feet. Mr Puzzles froze in terror as he gulped and forced himself to look up. He was now face to face with the fat Italian himself. He braced himself for his fate, but surprisingly, Mario just kept looking at him with those crossed blue eyes. After moments of silence, he finally waved and said "Hello TV guy!"

Mr Puzzles didn't know how to respond to that so he just gave a small wave back. "Uh...hi?" Mario then weirdly tried making friendly conversation as he said "What brings you back to the Showgrounds?" The television just raised an eyebrow in confusion. Did he seriously forget everything Mr Puzzles did to him a few months ago? "Just checking on a friend..." He gestured towards Meggy as the Italian let out a long "Ohhhhhhhh." Guess he didn't forget.

"Well why didn't you say so!?" He held his hand out to Puzzles, making him flinch backwards, but then realized he was just offering to help him up. His confusion began turning to suspicion as he gently grabbed Mario's hand and let the plumber pull him up. Mr Puzzles dusted his clothes off as he muttered "Um...thanks I guess?" The two stood there, trying to avoid eye contact for a while until the television pointed towards the exit and said "I should really be going now..."

Mario happily nodded and gave a thumbs up. "Okie dokie!" Puzzles was about to take off when he noticed the cheery attitude of Mario and slanted his eyes. "Alone..."

"Okie!"

Fury boiled up in Mr Puzzles as it tore him to bits that he couldn't figure out what game Mario was playing with him. Finally, he spat out "What is your problem!? After everything I've done to you and your friends, all you have to say is oKAy!? I don't understand! Why are you being...so nice to me?" His anger died down as Puzzles felt ashamed of himself for being treated as anything more than some piece of lowdown scum. Mario shrugged and said "I dunno."

The TV man sighed sadly and took out his emotions by kicked a tiny pebble in the dirt. Then he sat down on the path and mumbled "Why would I expect you to understand? You're just an idiot. You don't know what it's like to be cast out by society." Mario's derpy face died down as genuine concern took over. Carefully, he walked over next to Mr Puzzles and sat down next to him, asking "But TV man said he learned his lesson. That he was going to search for a new path."

"Oh believe me Mario I did try." Digital tears formed in Puzzles eyes as he made a wide variety of hand gestures in the most cheeriest way he could. "I tried everything from paining to owning a puppy. Oh what fun adventures I went on. I actually believed I could finally be happy for once in my life. But that was just a stupid dream. And seeing all these couples everywhere has made me realize..." The Italian listened intently with great worry on his face.

"My parents are right. Nobody loves me. Nobody ever will."

He sobbed a little and covered his face with his hands as Mario heard the wrenchful sounds coming from his enemy. The Italian gave him a side hug and whispered "Oh fratellino...don't-a cry." Mr Puzzles' face went warm when he felt the embrace, quickly pulling away and standing up. "E-Excuse you! I never cry!" He wiped his tears as fast as he could and changed the subject. "Besides, don't you have a date to find?"

That had completely slipped the plumber's small mind as the only thing that mattered to him in that moment was the well being of this poor, forsaken TV man. But there wasn't much he could do. Mario kept staring downcast at the ground when that's when he saw it. One lonely rose growing out of the ground. Its petals were a dark red with a hint of pink and sharp thorns covered its roots. That didn't stop the idiot from making Mr Puzzles feel better as he grabbed the flower and pulled it out of the ground. Puzzles kept crossing his arms when a raised flower caught his eyes and he saw the gracious Italian offering it with a smile.

"What are you doing?"

"Mario wants to make you feel better."

A heart monitor line with the most vibrant shade of red went through his screen. His fingers twitched when he felt them rub up against Mario's. His grip on the flower was decent, holding it up near his chest as he was speechless. The Italian just kept staring at him with high hopes. After another period of silence, Mr Puzzles uttered "Why this might be the most...HORRIBLE, PUTRID, MOST POORLY CHOSEN THING YOU'VE EVER DONE!" Mario gasped as Puzzles told him off the best way he could while burying his emotions. "AND I HOPE I NEVER SEE YOU OR YOU'RE SICK FRIENDS AGAIN!" He was about to throw the flower on the ground and stomp it out when Mario closed his eyes in preparation. Mr Puzzles hesitated. He couldn't bring himself to destroy such a gesture.

He groaned, grasping his TV box in annoyance for the never ending headache Mario made him feel. He stuck it in his vest pocket as he scolded "Forget it! This flower doesn't deserve to be put out of its misery." The Italian opened his eyes again, squealing in adoration as he leaned on Mr Puzzles and teased "Awww TV man does have feelings~"

"NO I DON'T! I am cold blooded and I never have any feelings of love or care whatsoever! Least of all feelings for you! So why don't you just leave me alone already!" He stomped off in outrage as Mario cheekily waved and replied "Bye bye TV guy! Mario hopes he helped!" Little did Mario know, he had caused a severe chain of events that were now caught between him and Mr Puzzles.

~

Mr Puzzles slammed the door to his lowdown home in rage, complaining non stop. "THAT STUPID, ANNOYING, PESKY ITALIAN! DOESN'T HE KNOW HOW TO TAKE 'NO' FOR AN ANSWER!? I HATE HIM! I HATE HIS STUPID FACE! I HATE HIS STUPID JOKES! I HATE HIS STUPIDITY! I HATE-" He looked down at the thorny flower, taking it out of his pocket and observing it. "I hate this flower. Nothing but a display of pity." He clutched it hard in his grasp. Though he was angry, something was preventing him from destroying the rose.

"Why should I act this way for him? He's done nothing for me. I've done nothing for him. We're just...too different to get along." A wave of sadness overcame him as Puzzles said nothing and set the rose on his halfway destroyed table. This was all too much for him. He just wanted some sleep. Mr Puzzles trudged up to his discount bed and laid on the mattress, glancing up at the ceiling. When that didn't make him comfortable, he grunted and turned on his side.

"I hate him..."

As his eyes slowly drifted to sleep and his screen flickered off, the house fell into an unprecedented silence. The only thing that stirred was a small rose, now glowing a bright red shade that lit up the room.

Author's Note: I had just finished this chapter when I saw the new episode of SMG4 and I had to write it into the script. I hope you like this story so far because Mr Puzzles will not be having a good one in the next chapter.

[gachawolfiebloom]

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!

So since I've been obsessed with the SMG4 Wicked AU lately, I made this little oneshot based off one of the deleted scenes from the movie.

I actually posted this the day before Valentine's Day because I may already have plans with a special someone tomorrow (that someone is me) and I won't be able to post so lucky you, you get the gay witches early! ˆᗜˆ

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63044020

IT'S MEEEEEEEEEE