goddamnitmahtin

[goddamnitmahtin]

Haunting the Narrative

Danny didn’t really know what to expect when he was digging around in Wayne Manor. He was just looking for something nice from his boyfriend’s childhood that he could bring home with him to brighten his day or something. For all that happened between Jason and Bruce, Danny knew that his Robin years were some of his happiest. He also knew that Jason often mentioned things he used to keep in his old room in the manor that he missed having but refused to go back and get. And Danny was a ghost so he figured it wouldn’t be too hard to float on in and grab a thing or two.

What Danny had expected was maybe some boxes in the attic or something with stuff in it. What he didn’t expect was that the room Jason had described growing up in during his Robin years was set up exactly as Jason had left it. There wasn’t even any dust. It looked like the lived in space of a teen boy.

It was almost eery to be entirely honest. It was like the room was paused in time, waiting to be unpaused by Jason’s return. Danny would never tell his boyfriend to do that obviously but it was very interesting to see that Bruce had never seemed to work up the courage to go in and clean the room out.

Danny had floated around the room, digging through random boxes and bins for something he could grab easy and bring home that Jason would recognize as his. There were toys, games, clothes, books (lots of those), and nicknacks all over the room. But it all seemed to be stuff that Jason had already replaced at home with a new one or just wasn’t interested in anymore.

All of this led up to what Danny held in his hand now. An old video camera. Obviously he opened it to see if it still worked and lo and behold it did. He looked to see there was anything on it, expecting some shaky videos of birthday parties or events or something? What Danny did not see coming were the candid videos of Jason as a teen. As if someone had filmed him for him. But he wasn’t really doing anything in the videos except laughing like a dead wife that haunts the narrative in that one scene under the bedsheet in every movie ever.

…

Later at home after showing Jason what he found

Danny: Why.

Jason: I wanted to have footage in case I died and needed to haunt the narrative

Danny: ….

Jason: It worked! I died like two months after I made Alfred record that for me.

Danny: Did you haunt the narrative?

Jason: oh big time.

Danny: 😀

Jason: Oh don’t give me that look.

Danny: *pulling out his own camera* Jason I need to show you something.

[goddamnitmahtin]

DP X DC Temporarily Gay pt.1

Based on @goddamnitmahtin post here and the lil thing i added. Maybe this isn't the drawings i promised, but hope you still like it!

Also, shout out to @duskyashe for beta-testing and helping with the redaction and grammar of this <3

---------------------------

Walking down the street late at night with a soft breeze blowing was a small mercy after a long shift at the planetarium. It wasn't an especially exciting day, but the long hours standing and walking around without a proper break had him wary down to his bones. Danny shifted the position of the grocery bag to his arm, the plastic was digging into his fingers, making the glass jars clink with each other; he didn't mind the walk home, it was a good way to clear his head, and besides, he didn't get much free time to just enjoy walking around anymore, might as well take what he can get. 

As he passed a familiar streetlight, he glanced over his shoulder out of habit, half-expecting to see a glowing pair of green eyes or the outline of a hunter's net. The street was empty, but the knot in his stomach didn't completely loosen, he just had a bad feeling pooling in his gut, such a tranquil never lasts this long. Then again, he was starting to get used to the quiet. His one-room apartment was far from the sprawling, lab-filled house he'd grown up in, but at least he didn't have to worry about a sudden weapon misfire or a new Fenton device going off in the middle of the night. 

He hadn't been home in months, really. He still checked in, a quick trip to sabotage a dangerous invention, make sure they hadn't left anything too dangerous or volatile in the living room, and that they actually were eating something somewhat safe; if they actually noticed he was there, he would help a bit around the lab, take care of misplaced samples, cleaning and tidying up here and there, same as he used to do while still living in the house. 

They had yet to notice he was gone. Sometimes he'd see a new blueprint on his dad's desk and a cold dread would settle over him, but there wasn't much he could actually do about that, not with this.

Danny was a block away from his apartment when a figure darted from an alley, yanking him out of his thoughts and into the shadows. He dropped his groceries with a loud clunk, his hands already glowing a faint green and opening his stance to a more stable one, ready to kick back if necessary, but when he focused on what, or more like who, pulled him into the alley, he froze.

"DANNY! DANNY, I NEED YOU TO PRETEND TO BE MY BOYFRIEND!"

Danny stared at the frantic face of Wes Weston, his adrenaline quickly fading into pure, unadulterated confusion. "Wha—?"

_________________________________________________________

“Let me get this straight—”

“We’re not supposed to—”

“Shut up!” Danny sighs. “You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend because you panicked and told your older brother, that I didn't know you had—”

“You don't have to know everything about me,” Wes huffs and rolls his eyes.

"I'm too damn tired to call you on that big ass lump of hypocrisy," Danny muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. "So let me get this straight." He dropped his hand, pointing a finger at Wes. "You panicked, and decided it was a good idea to tell your brother that me, Danny Fenton—" he gestured to his whole body "—the one person everyone knows you don't get along with, is your boyfriend."

"Yes. So now you need to move in with me before Friday." Wes took a quick breath. "I gotta brief you on how wonderful our relationship is so you don't mess it up." Wes turns around and starts walking to the entry of the alley, clearly expecting Danny to follow him.

Danny just stood there, staring at the spot where his groceries had landed, and watched as Wes disappeared around the corner. He sighed, the last bit of his resolve giving way to sheer, bone-deep exhaustion. Fine. He walked to the corner, grabbing his fallen groceries, and saw Wes already a few feet down the block.

"Wes!" he called out, annoyed. "If you didn't remember, I do have a girlfriend! One that I love very much, mind you!"

“I know! I already asked her permission, Sam terrifies me, of course I ain’t doing this without her consent, thats just being suicidal,” Wes said, rolling his eyes and keeping walking.

“She did what?!”

______________________________________________________________

The inside of Danny's apartment was a stark contrast to the hectic energy of the streets and the chaos Wes had brought with him. It was a single bedroom, cozy and quiet, a small living room with just enough space for a couch, a small table, a bookcase with some astronomy science books and various trinkets Sam and Tuck have given him through the years, and an open space kitchen in the corner. The scent of coffee and old paper hung in the air.

Danny sat on the couch, his face buried in his hands, elbows propped on his knees. Wes was perched on the edge of the coffee table across from him, gesturing wildly as he finished his rapid-fire explanation.

"...so yeah, my brother thinks we've been dating for a year," Wes said, his voice dropping to a slightly more normal level. "He thinks you're the most amazing, patient, and understanding person ever, and he's super excited to meet you."

Danny just breathed. He took in a long, shaky breath and held it. When he finally let it out, it was a heavy sigh that seemed to carry the weight of the last three months.

"You," he said, his voice muffled by his hands. "You told your brother that I, the guy you wrote an exposé on, was your boyfriend, and that our relationship was wonderful?"

"Well, yeah, because you were the only guy I had pictures of!" Wes said, as if that were a perfectly logical explanation. "And I had to make it sound good, otherwise he would've kept asking questions."

Danny groaned, rubbing his temples. He could feel a headache forming behind his eyes. He lifted his head to stare at Wes, who looked annoyingly proud of himself. "And you want me to move in now?”

“Yes! Come on, keep up!” Wes exclaimed exasperated.

“I am keeping up” Danny finally looks up, annoyed, throwing his hands  out to the side. “What I don't understand is how you expect me to get on board with this!” He gets up and starts pacing in front of the couch, hysterically running his hands through his hair.

“Well, first we gotta get some of your things to my apartment,” Wes starts counting with his fingers. “Then when Wally gets here—”

“Thats not what I mean!” Danny turns around to face Wes “Do you think I’m really going to do this?” He asks incredulously "Wes, we aren’t gay.”

“I know!” Wes threw his hands up in frustration.

“No! Shut up!” Danny exhales hotly. “We aren’t gay, I have a girlfriend, everyone knows we can't stand each other, I have work and classes, I have to take care of my parents and to pay rent.” He started pacing again while gesticulating widely with his arms. “And you come to me to tell me that you told your brother…” He turned and pointed to himself with both hands to his chest. “...that I am your boyfriend, all because you had pictures of me,  pictures, I may add, that you not only had, but took, because you were stalking me!” He threw his arms up angrily.

"Look, man," Wes said, his voice dropping to a serious tone. He got up from the table and stepped into Danny's path, forcing him to stop pacing. "Back when we were in high school, Wally kept on prying into my life about dating and stuff and I got tired of him asking about it. Sam told me that the quickest way to get family members to stop asking is to just say you're gay, because it worked for her parents. So I told Wally I was gay and I didn't wanna talk about it, because I was still figuring it out and I probably wasn't gonna date since I'm the only gay person in Amity Park.”

“Tucker is bi—”

“I know!” Wes exclaimed, raising his hands in exasperation. He started to follow Danny as he began pacing again, trying to get him to listen. “The point I'm trying to make is that, for a while, it worked, but then Wally somehow found out about the LGBTQIA club Sam had going on during senior year when she came out as a demigirl. So when he got really pumped that I was 'meeting other gays’, I panicked and told him I got a boyfriend, and when he asked for pictures, I just started giving him photos of you because I already had so many!”

Danny stopped abruptly, his arms still gesticulating in the air, a look of pure, disbelieving fury on his face. “You had them because you were stalking me!” he yelled, his voice cracking.

Wes flinched, his frantic energy finally dropping away. He took a step back, holding his hands up in a gesture of surrender. “But I don't anymore! Look, Danny, I know how crazy this sounds. But my brother thinks I've been dating you for the past year, and now he's coming into town for a work thing with some of his work buddies, and I really just need you to pretend while they are here. I know you’ve got a lot on your plate,” he said, his voice quiet. He gestured around the small apartment. “Your work, your classes, your… family stuff. I get it. I’m not asking you to abandon any of that. You can still go to work, you can still take your classes online. My place is bigger than this, you can have your own space to work and study, and I’ll even chip in on the rent you’re losing here. I just need you to move in for a few days to sell it out. I can tell him we broke up in a few months, and everything goes back to normal.”

He met Danny’s gaze, his eyes serious and pleading. “Please, it’s a temporary thing, okay? It’s just temporary. We are temporarily gay.”

Danny stood there, blinking. The absurdity of it all was overwhelming, but the genuine desperation in Wes's eyes, and his offer to help with rent, was an unexpected olive branch.

He took a deep breath and burrowed his face in his hands again, muffling a frustrated groan. He stayed like that for a long minute, eyes covered and seconds passing by, just breathing. He needed to think, to find some semblance of calm in the chaos Wes had just unleashed.

Okay. Let's break this down.

A quiet place to stay for a few weeks or months and help with rent. That was a massive plus. The apartment was eating up most of his paycheck, and the constant stress of juggling rent with food and other bills was a weight he hadn't realized was so heavy until it was offered to be lifted. It would make life a lot easier, for a while at least. It would also give him more time to focus on his classes, on his job at the planetarium, and honestly, he could use the break.

But there was Wes. The same Wes who had spent years trying to expose him, the same Wes who had just admitted he used to stalk him. The thought made a cold shiver run down his spine. Trusting him with his private life, even for a few weeks or months, felt like a terrible idea. And what about Sam? He loved her more than anything; pretending to be in a relationship with someone else, even a fake one, felt wrong. He knew Sam had given her permission, but that didn't change how he felt about it. He wouldn't be unfaithful to her, not in a million years.

With his thoughts cleared, he lifted his head with a new resolve hardening his tired features. It was a temporary arrangement, he could do this, but on his own terms.

"Alright, Weston. I'll do it," Danny said, his voice flat.

Wes's face lit up, a wave of relief washing over him. "Seriously?! Oh, man, thank you! I owe you so much-"

"But on two conditions," Danny cut him off, holding up a finger. "No PDA. At all. I'll be friendly, I'll even be affectionate if I have to, but no kissing, no playing around. We're keeping this strictly G-rated, use any excuse you see fit." He saw Wes start to protest and held up a hand. "I'm in a relationship. A real one. And I'm not doing anything that makes Sam uncomfortable, that makes me uncomfortable, got it?"

Wes immediately sobered. "Yeah, yeah, of course. I get it. Sorry. I didn't think-"

"Second," Danny continued, raising another finger. "When we're at your place, if we're sharing a room or something, I get privacy when I'm changing. No buts on that one. Anything you see or hear about me in private, or about my family, stays between us. My private life is mine to share."

He locked eyes with Wes, letting the unspoken threat hang in the air. Wes had done his research before, and Danny wouldn't let him get close enough to find anything new if he could help it, he is tired of people getting a say on his life.

"Got it," Wes said, nodding firmly. "I swear. Nothing leaves my mouth. No new exposés. This is just to get Wally off my back."

"Good," Danny said, a tense breath escaping him. "Now let's go. I'm tired, and want to have dinner, I'm starving" He walked over to the coffee table and picked up his grocery bag, leaving Wes to follow. He was so going to make Wes cook him dinner.

-----------------------------------------------

I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS ENDED BEING SO LONG

but i already have some chapters planed ahead and got started on chap 2, so hopefully this will be a constant story 0u0

[goddamnitmahtin]

Your Highness, i come in peace with a humble request. May i use your "Temporarily Gay" post as the inspiration of a fic my brain hit me with after reading it?

Pls do and send me a link so I can read and support!

[goddamnitmahtin]

Wes Weston (Tim) sets out to find the bus stop. He eventually finds it only to watch the bus get possessed as soon as he sits down.

The Curious Case of Wes Weston Part 2

Tim went out to find the bus stop. If there was a bus stop. He just kinda grabbed his bags and started walking down the street. A few neighbors waved or offered a greeting but Tim was more focused on trying not to look completely lost in the situation. There seemed to be a sign at the end of the street that looked like it was for a bus so he was just trying to get to that.

Meanwhile his mind was swirling. So far all he really knew was the name and age of the body he was in, that he had two brothers and that he played basketball. It wasn’t much to go on. Personality wise he didn’t have enough information to piece together what this person was like or sleep his friends were. He hadn’t found a phone in his room anywhere. Tim was pretty much going in blind. He didn’t even know what day it was or if it was even basketball season. He was just guessing.

The street he lived of looked like the poor neighborhood of suburbia if it was possible. All of the homes of the block looked that same but you could also tell that no one that lives on that street had the time of money to keep it very pretty so there were some homes with missing sections of roof or a windows that looked like the pane was about to fall out.

The house Tim walked out of looked worse than the rest. It was probably once a pretty vibrant color but was faded now, paint chipping off the bricks of the house. The roof was missing sections of shingles, the tarping underneath easy to see in some spots. The front door was janky and old, leaning slightly so it was hard to close all the way. But it looked like it was a nice home if only there was money so it could be fixed. It had a good foundation.

Tim had come to the conclusion that whatever universe he was in might have been from a children’s program as the lowest of income houses still seemed palatable to look at for a young viewer. Most kids shows don’t broadcast what no money actually looks like.

If that was the case, this was either going to be extremely normal and almost episodic in nature or shit’s gonna hit the fan and then when it’s all over, the stakes are gonna be reset like that massive tragedy actually didn’t have major life changing implications for everyone in town. There was unfortunately no in between. Hell, he could in the “the protagonist clones themself a bunch and all the clones die in watered down gruesome fashions and then it’s never spoken of again” episode. There was really no way to tell.

Tim walked to the end of the street where there was a spot for the bus to pick up kids. There were others that lived on the street already there waiting to be picked up. Maybe 2 his own age and a few younger kids that probably got dropped off at their own school by the same bus. They were all huddled around the bus sign in the corner, lazily entertaining themselves by speaking to one another or on a phone.

The only reason Tim knew anything about any of this was because he saw suburb kids on tv as a kid. He’d never had to ride a bus to school before when he was growing up. He always attended private academy and he had staff drop him off until he learned to drive. Tim was not afraid to say he was a nepo baby.

It wasn’t long before the bus arrived. It was big and yellow just like in the movies. A legit suburban American school bus. Tim boarded and sat near the back as he remembered from watching movies that the older kids sit more towards the back and the younger kids sit in the front so the driver can see them.

Tim sat by himself, pretending to put on headphones but they weren’t plugged into anything. He just wanted to listen to people talk and gather information without anyone approaching him because he didn’t know what to say. It’s hard to bullshit your way through a conversation when you don’t know any background information on the universe you’re in.

Suddenly everything started to shake and the bus began to glow as if encased in an otherworldly substance. Tim held onto the seat in front of him, feeling the bus lift off the ground slightly. He looked around and noticed that while panicked, the other people on the bus seemed to be used to this kind of this as they were jumping into action.

“Ghost attack!” Someone shouted as the bus lifted off the road into the air. A kid began to record and another ran up to the front of the bus, the help the driver try to gain control of the wheel. One of the older kids, about Wes’ age fumbled with their phone to try and make a call. Tim looked out the window to see people starting to surround the area to see what was going on.

“Hey uh- so bus 4 is gonna be late to school today! Our bus got possessed,” said the kid on the phone. It was a girl with curly black hair and and bright almond shaped eyes. She seemed to be the most calm in the situation. Tim watched as she calmly explained their current situation.

“Yeah,” she continued, “There isn’t any sign of Phantom yet so we are just waiting it out till he gets here…… thanks Mr. Lancer.” She hung up the phone and turned to Tim, “No detention!”

Tim gave a smile and a thumbs up in response, mainly holding onto the seat, looking for anything that could be useful in this situation.

“Hey, you don’t ride this bus often do you,” he heard her say. He looked back at her again to see her sitting in her seat calmly as if this was a regular thing that happens sometimes.

“Uh yeah- my brother normally drops me off at school,” he said in response, trying to sit down in his seat again. If this girl and alot of the other people on the bus were this calm, he must have looked out of place looking bewildered.

She smiled back, holding on a bit tighter to the seat in front of her when the bus shook slightly more violently for a moment before promptly going back to ignoring the situation they were both in, “I was wondering. Since I know everyone who rides the bus on most days and I don’t remember the last time I saw you. What’s your name?”

“Oh! I’m uh- Wes,” Tim held out his hand to shake hers, “Wes Weston.” Maybe he could get info from her if he was nice.

Her expression brightened as she shook his hand, “I’m Ashley. I remember you now! You’re on the basketball team!” Her eyes lit up with recognition. He must have been fairly memorable then. Maybe Wes was popular or something. That would suck. Tim would never be able to get a break.

Tim smiled, trying to play it off, “Yeah, I uh” he tried to remember the jersey number in his bag, “I’m number 2.” What position on the team had the number 2? Was there a specific position certain numbers have? Tim couldn’t remember which sport that was. He was always more into stalking during the time of his life that other kids got into sports…

Ashley chuckled, “I know. There was no way coach wasn’t gonna let you have your Dad’s number,” She looked out the window as the bus began to shake, “Hold onto something, Phantom is here.”

Tim scrambled to his own window, looking out to see something flying around the bus. He couldn’t really tell what it was but it was fast. Then the bus lurched to the side and Tim found himself thrown across the aisle into the seat with Ashley. She wasn’t kidding about holding on. Tim didn’t have to me to react or holding anything before Ashley wrapped and arm around him, holding him securely as the bus continued to rock and lurch in the air until suddenly the bus dropped.

It was only for a moment. But it was enough to throw Tim off. He couldn’t react. Not the way he normally would. Wes wouldn’t do that. He froze, not really knowing what the appropriate response was for falling from the sky in a bus. But then the bus jerked to a stop and suddenly the entire vehicle was being gently placed back on the cement street below.

Ashley and Tim both looked over the seat in front of them to see if it was over. Others on the bus seemed to be doing the same. The door was busted, the crank that allows the driver to open and close it was broken. It must have happened while they were in the air.

“Everyone please make your way back to your seats. We are going to wait right here until bus 6 comes to pick us up,” the voice over the intercom said. It must have been the driver. Tim didn’t get out of the seat with Ashley, both of them deciding to just watch silently as the kids all settled back into their seats calmly.

After a few minutes, the door on the back of the bus was opened. It was a door that looked like it was even operational anymore but it slowly peeled open with a load groaned and on the other side was a boy with white hair and glowing green eyes.

“Hi! Bus 6 is here to pick you guys up,” the boy said awkwardly before flying away quickly. Tim knew he’d seen that guy before. He knew it in his goddamn bones. He just couldn’t figure out where. Something about all of this felt familiar like it was some cartoon or maybe a comic he’d seen or read before when he was little. He just couldn’t put his finger on it.

Tim heard a sigh behind him, “The driver is telling us to transfer to the other bus. You wanna sit with me on the way to school today? You look kind of frazzled.” He turned to see Ashley standing behind him. She wasn’t as tall as him, having to look up to look at him but her confidence seemed to make up for it. Did he really look so out of place?

“Uh yeah sure,” he said in response, climbing out of the bus. At this point, sticking to Ashley seemed to be his best plan. This was fine…

…

This is a choose your own adventure story!!!!

Every post in this au from here forward will be replying to an ask! It’s up to you askers to determine what should happen next! Good luck and don’t accidentally kill Tim lmao.

[goddamnitmahtin]

Bro is NOT listening

[goddamnitmahtin]

It might not be canon but it was real to ME

[goddamnitmahtin]

It Keeps Me Up at Night

AU where the ENTIRE dc universe was written by Wes Weston. Except it’s all one cohesive story that doesn’t get retconned every 20 years. It’s just all the way through he wrote it. All the comics are drawn by his older brother Kyle after he gives him a script.

But it’s not some fake story he’s made up. Wes Weston is cursed with the ability to see through the veil to other dimensions and the universe channel his 6th eye tv has been stuck on his whole life is the dc universe. Wes knows everything about all of these people and knows deep dark details about their lives that he does let Kyle draw, sometimes for their own privacy.

But whenever he tries to tell anyone, nobody belives him. His parents think he has the world’s worst case of insomnia but he literally can’t sleep because every time he does, he dreams of the other world and wakes up, needing to write it down. It’s pain in the ass because his mind won’t let him sleep again until it’s written. So he hardly ever sleeps.

Wes is tired and hallucinating most of the time but by god he WILL keep going to school and he WILL prove that he’s right about Phantom. And he WILL not panic when he sees Duke Thomas standing outside his classroom halfway through math class. He WILL not react when he sees Damian Wayne talking to Danny’s cousin at the park. He WILL not nail his window shut, afraid of the figure of Red Hood that watches his house at night. He WILL not assume that every time his computer doesn’t work it’s because of Barbara Gordon. He WILL not mention to his friends that the new gym teacher looks a lot like Dick Grayson. He WILL not tackle Tim Drake when he sees him at a gala Sam dragged him and Danny along to. He WILL not acknowledge the Batgirl shaped shadow that follows him at night. He WILL not open the texts on his phone from an unknown caller id claiming to be Stephanie Brown.

They haunt him. Every moment of every day. He sees the young Robin Jason Todd every-time he looks on Danny’s eyes. He can’t even look at Sam some days, sometimes she could walk past him and al he would see is Cassandra in his peripheral. He couldn’t listen to Tucker talk about computers for more than 10 minutes before Tim and Barbara start swirling in his mind. He couldn’t say anything and no one would believe him if he did. He was stuck in this loop.

That was until one day he just snapped and started shouting at the hallucination of Batman on the roof of his house at 3 in the morning. Crying, balling, trying to understand why. Why him? Why why why did he have to see all this?

Only for the Dark Knight to jump off of the roof and land in front of him with a silent thud and reach out his arm to touch Wes’ shoulder. He was physical. He was real. This was almost worse.

“We need your help Wes Weston. Oracle of Delphi,” the Batman said, his voice low and gruff.

Wes fell to the ground, pitiful, tired, unable to fathom why. Why anything. There was no way this was real. What he saw was real. And if it was how were they all here? How were they here? And why did they stalk him for months before saying anything? Why why why why-

For the first time in his life, Wes slept.

[goddamnitmahtin]

Ghost Daddy

Jason looked at the list closely, “Okay we’ve covered all of our living bases. All of us, all of Steph’s friends, and all of Cassandra’s friends.”

Damian nodded, “Now all we need is to invite Dad. And the rest of our siblings on his side.”

Jason groaned, “I’m trying to get ahold of him but I think he’s busy.”

Damian frowned, “Cass is not going to be happy if they don’t show. Maybe we can try calling his girlfriend.”

Jason looked at Damian in surprise, “Did he finally ask her out? Go Dad.”

Bruce looked between his sons sitting on the couch, planning their sister’s wedding, “I’m sorry- what?”

“Oh not you Father,” Damian said, waving his hand dismissively, “Ghost Dad.”

Jason laughed, “Has no one ever told you about him?”

Bruce’s eyes narrowed, “No.”

Cass walked into the room silently, slipping onto the couch between Jason and Damian, “I already invited Ghost Daddy. He’s bringing the whole fraid.”

Jason groans, “Quit calling him that Cass.”

*At the wedding*

“Cassandra! How is my favorite daughter!” Danny said, hugging Cass.

Dani scoffed, “Excuse me?!”

Danny laughed, releasing the hug, “I’m joking, I’m joking. I love all of the children in my fraid equally.”

Cassandra returned to her bride, wrapping her arms around Stephanie while Bruce finally got the chance to approach the mysterious Ghost Dad half of his children apparently had.

“So uh..” Bruce started.

“I’m sure you are a little confused. I’ve been watching you to make sure you are good for my kids. I think you’re okay enough,” Danny said, patting Bruce’s shoulder.

“Excuse me-” Bruce stammered.

“Well I have to keep a close eye on my kids. They are royalty after all,” Danny chuckled.

Jason walked over with two glasses of champagne, handing one to Danny, “Here Dad.”

“Thank you Jason,” Danny smiled as he took the glass, “Just how much about ghost culture does your human dad know? He seems a little…”

“Oh no he doesn’t know anything, we forgot to tell him,” Jason interrupted.

Bruce was a little frustrated now, “What is going on?”

Danny sighed, holding out his hand with fingers that were slightly too long, “My name is Danny Phantom. I am the Ghost King. Not to be confused with the King of the Underworld. Hades and I aren’t the same guy. He’s super nice though. His wife makes the best baked goods ever- sorry I’m getting off track. Basically Jason, Damian and Cassandra are the princes and one of the princesses of the Ghost Zone.”

Bruce’s eyes widened, “How?”

Danny chuckled, “Oh that’s simple. When they were sacrificed to me they became my children! See the Lazarus is just a giant pool of ecto and because I’m the Ghost King I’ve got dibs on that. So everytime Ra’s dips one of his family members in there, it’s considered a sacrifice. If I accept the sacrifice, they join my fraid. If not, the ecto just kinda does what it does.”

Jason nodded, “Yep. He accepted us as sacrifices so now we have a Ghost Dad. Being dipped in the Lazarus makes us liminal but being accepted as the child of the Ghost King secures our places as ecto beings.”

Bruce blinked, “What.”

Danny smirked, “You rely on Constantine and his crew far too much. There’s more to this world than can be explained away with demons and aliens. There’s more than one kind of magic Bruce Wayne. It’s funny that you wouldn’t know. Considering you and your son Timothy are a part of Clockwork’s fraid.”

Bruce blinked again, “What.”

Jason’s jaw dropped, “Nuh-uh!”

Danny nodded, “Yes, Clockwork has been very excited about the work his boys are doing. Tim especially. Clockwork said that he was willing to trade Bruce to me but if I were to have Bruce join my fraid I wouldn’t want him as a son.”

Jason raised an eyebrow, “I thought you already picked your consort.”

Danny smiled, “I have two actually. I’m poly and it’s easier if I split up the work anyways.”

Jason’s eyes widened, “Uncle Tucker and Aunt Sam are Mom and Dad now?”

Danny blushed, “Yeah.”

Bruce gathered his composure, “Congratulations.”

Danny smirked once more, “Oh we are open to adding another if you’re interested.”

Bruce blushed.

And then they kissed or whatever idk.

[goddamnitmahtin]

Young sire can we have more of the group chat shenanigans? Pretty olease with a cherry on top?

dc x dp group chat shenanigans part 6

Well of course! Luckily this au is easier for me to produce because it’s fully planned out and in a texting format so when I get behind on all the other works in my drafts, I can always come back to this one.

Damian has removed Jason from “Sib Chat.”

Damian: Everyone, I need you all to get Jason out of Crime Alley for approx. the next 4 hours.

Babs: Why?

Damian: I can’t risk it.

Dick: You better explain everything once this is over.

Damian: I will if you aren’t annoying about it.

Dick: The fuck is that supposed to mean?!

Tim: Just back off about it Dick. I’m on patrol with Jason, I can get him out of the the area. Just be safe.

Dick: Call me if you need ANYTHING.

Damian: Thank you.

Babs: Okay so I’m thinking we “accidentally” blow up one of Jason’s shipments at the harbor.

Tim: That’s a lot of damage for no reason. I love it.

Babs: Not one of his big ones obviously. Just a tiny weapons shipment.

Damian: Why do you know so much about Jason’s illegal activities?

Babs: The same reason I know about ALL of our illegal activities.

Dick: So she can cover it up lol

Steph: Wait? Are we blowing something up? Can Cass and I come?

Cass: 🥺🙏

Tim: That’s perfect. You two can plant the bomb while I distract Jason. Just don’t talk on comms.

Steph: Fucking bet

Cass: 🫡

Damian: Okay I’ll leave you all to that. Let me know when it’s safe.

Babs: Sure thing kiddo.

Damian: Don’t call me that.

Dick: I’ll go ahead and distract Bruce so he doesn’t know we are the ones blowing up the shipment.

Babs: Thank you. I feel like all I ever do anymore is distract Bruce. He’s not doing well with you Damian.

A few minutes later

Steph: It is done.

Cass: 👍

Tim: Yeah he got the notif. We are leaving Crime Alley now.

Babs: I’m tracking your heat signatures.

Dick: If any of you hear about Bruce beating me at Mario cart, no you fucking didn’t.

Babs: Damian, you’re clear.

Damian: Thank you. All of you.

4 hours later

Barbara has added Jason to “Sib Chat.”

Jason: WHAT THE FUCK

Dick: What?

Cass: ???

Tim: That was fucking rough

Jason: SOMEONE BLEW UP ONE OF MY SHIPMENTS! This is gonna put me behind for the next 3 weeks!

Tim: Yeah that. It was a massive explosion too.

Babs: This is why you should have let me put cams in your warehouses at the harbor. I couldn’t warn you.

Jason: DONT START WITH ME

The next morning

Duke: What the actual fuck did I miss last night-

………………………………………

Scam Likely: Did you get him out?

Unknown User ID: Yes. He’s safe.

The Burner Phone: That was a bitch and a half.

Unknown User ID: Agreed. But It will all be over soon.

Scam Likely: Yep. I’ve already uploaded all of the camera footage to the GPD and it’s uploaded to the flash drive you gave me.

Unknown User ID: I’ll be able to take this evidence to someone I know who can help.

The Burner Phone: We all know you mean Batman.

Unknown User ID: Fine. I am taking the flash drive to Batman.

Scam Likely: Bye bye GIW!

Unknown User ID: Let’s not celebrate too soon. He is still injured from the vivisection.

The Burner Phone: Oh he’ll be fine in a few hours. Just give him that Ecto shot I gave you yesterday.

Unknown User ID: When this is all over, I demand to know everything.

Scam Likely: Fair enough.

[goddamnitmahtin]

AWWWWW LOOK AT THE BOYS!

I loved writing this scene in particular because it was going to be the first time I had a portion from Damian’s POV and a portion from Alfred’s. I really wanted to heavily point out that Damian was still a kid during these scenes and that he was also affected by things in the house that might have as much to do with him. I feel like people really overlook that he’s experiencing everything for the first time and he’s not even entirely sure how he feels about any of the people in the house.

The more I write about Damian the more I want to adopt him ngl.

They're so cute omg. I just had to draw this scene, i was actually baking cookies when i started sketching yesterda.

@goddamnitmahtin told u i was gonna bombard u, heres today's bomb

-Sketch under the cut-

[goddamnitmahtin]

Bombard me all you want, I’ll keep eating your fabulous art! The very idea that someone could like my writing enough to draw something for it is so exciting and is honestly huge motivation to keep writing! Gimme more! Pretty pls 🥺

I'm finding so many fics and AU'S here lately, i love doing some fannart for those amasing autors, and rn here i come with some for @goddamnitmahtin and their "Dami's Teddy" AU its so cute!!

Anyway, i may actually do another draw for this one cuz i loved a sketch i made but it was too detailed for this sketchboard, so ill see if i can have it done for tomorrow!

[goddamnitmahtin]

The way I started screaming at how good it is caused my 3 year old sister to think I was gravely injured lmao. This is the first time I have ever received fanart for one of my AUs and I am just so happy that people like this concept as much as I do! It was swirling in my head for a month before I finally wrote it because I was so worried other people wouldn’t like the vision I had. I’ve never been so happy to be proved wrong!

Also, this art absolutely PERFECT! It’s exactly how I imagined Danny as Danyal and the drawing of Damian sleeping with him in his arms? It’s like you grabbed it straight out of my head! I love this! Your style is amazing and encapsulates the vibe I was trying to describe in my writing!

I'm finding so many fics and AU'S here lately, i love doing some fannart for those amasing autors, and rn here i come with some for @goddamnitmahtin and their "Dami's Teddy" AU its so cute!!

Anyway, i may actually do another draw for this one cuz i loved a sketch i made but it was too detailed for this sketchboard, so ill see if i can have it done for tomorrow!

[goddamnitmahtin]

I really love your Dami's Teddy bear story, it's so freaking cute and love the fact that Dami actually acts his age even if only when he is alone with Teddy Danny, mind if I draw something for this au??

I would literally cry if you drew something for the Dami’s Teddy AU. I’ve never gotten fanart before- please please PLEASE let me know if you do draw it so I can hype you up!

I always thought it was weird that fics I read tend to make Damian like super mature so in this one I wanted to make a point to show that while he acts mature as a defense, he’s actually just a kid in a new situation that he doesn’t fully understand.

[goddamnitmahtin]

The Vulture

Danny was surprised to see a letter from Gotham when he went out to pick up his mail. It was addressed to his dad, Jack Fenton. Which was unfortunate since his dad had passed away a few years back during a ghost attack. Danny hadn’t been fast enough and falling debris crushed him. Mom passed shortly after that of heartbreak. Jazz went off to college and he stayed behind to close up the rift and finally end the ghost attacks.

He was retired now from being Phantom and was making ends meet working for the city as part of a construction crew. He didn’t inherit the house but Jazz was letting him live in it while she was away. It was paid off so the only thing he had to pay for was utilities. Which was a little hard sometimes with the whole- portal in the basement deal. But he made it work. He was working on a few side projects that he hoped one day could be patented but it was neither here nor there, just something he did on the side.

Dani had finished up her adventures for the time being and was living with him again. She said that she had seen everything she wanted and now she just wanted to be with her father. And Danny understood that. He had missed her while she was gone and being a kid on your own, halfa or not, was hard to do in today’s world. Looking back, he thought it was dumb that he had let her go in the first place given just how much is out in the world that would love to hurt a teen girl. When she came back she mentioned that she wanted to go by Ellie since Dani is what Vlad called her and she wanted to separate from that part of her life. Danny was cool with that and he's been raising her since then. She was 16 now and he was proud of what she had accomplished in school once he got her caught up enough to enroll.

Danny opened the letter it read,

Dear Jack Fenton, I am sorry to inform you that your younger brother Thomas Wayne has passed away after being shot by a mugger on June 26. His funeral will be held at Wayne Manor on June 30 at 6pm. A reading of his last will and testament will take place privately for direct family the following day. Please bring your family, Thomas' young son Bruce has been asking to meet them. Your loyal servant, Alfred Pennyworth.

Danny didn't really know what to think of that. But it would have been rude not to go. He called off work for the next week and called Jazz to let her know what was going on. She said that she wasn't going to be able to make it as she was cramming her way through her summer courses but he let her know he was going to keep her updated on it. He called Ellie down for breakfast and instead of taking her to school he went ahead and told her to pack some clothes since they were taking an impromptu trip to Gotham. There was only so much time to prepare when he got the letter the day before the funeral.

When they got there, Danny knew that he and Ellie definitely looked out of place. There seemed to be at least a hundred people all crowded into the parlor of the massive manor on the even more massive estate. While everyone else was dressed to the nines and seemed to come from wealthy families, he and Ellie were wearing the nicest clothes they owned which were a button up and simple black and white dress from the mall. The only familiar faces at the party were Sam and Tucker who had apparently come with Sam's parents in order to pay their respects.

After the viewing of the bodies, yes plural, no one told Danny Thomas had a wife that also died on the same day, the only people in the room that even pretended to care about the tragedy stopped doing so and the room became more of a cocktail party than anything else. Full of rich socialites that had nothing better to do than to spread gossip to one another about one another, even Sam was doing her part to try and play it up for the crowd as she was going to be inheriting the family company upon her parents passing someday. Danny wanted to be mad at her for it but he could only respect the hell out of his ex girlfriend's hustle.

It wasn't hard to find Bruce. He was the only one still sitting in the now abandoned chairs that had been set out for guests to sit in during the viewing process. The young boy looked to be 7 or 8 and was holding on tightly to an older man who seemed to be a member of the staff. Danny figured now was as good a time as any to introduce himself to his young cousin he never knew about. He gestured for Ellie to walk with him and the two of them cautiously approached the crying child.

"Hello," Danny directed his words towards the older man, hoping to get some confirmation before claiming to be related to this kid he'd never seen before, "My name is Danny Fenton? This is my daughter Ellie. We got a note that my dad was-"

"You must be Jack's boy. I am Alfred Pennyworth, butler of the Wayne Estate," The older man bowed his head slightly, his hand still resting on the shoulder of the young boy, "I am glad to hear that Jack got my letter of invitation."

"Actually, my dad died a few years ago. I would have let you guys know of course! That is if I had known about any of this," Danny said, gesturing vaguely to the manor around him. It was a lot to take in that his dad had an entire family he never told anyone about.

"I'm very sorry to hear that. It does sadden me that I did not get to see Young Master Jack again before his passing. Are you his only child?" Alfred asked.

Danny shook his head with a chuckle, "Oh no, I've got an older sister, Jasmine. She wasn't able to make it today but she told me to send her condolences. Mom died after Dad did so it's just me and Ellie here today." He was trying his best to seem like an adult. He was an adult, he was 20 years old but it was moments like these where he felt like he needed an adultier adult.

Alfred nodded, looking back down at Bruce who had cried himself to sleep in his arm, "I am terribly sorry but the young master has had a terrible day. I am going to put him to bed and we can talk more later on in the night. Perhaps you can properly introduce yourself when he wakes."

And Danny did just that. After a few hours, he met the boy. And Bruce was, while devastated, very obviously related to his father. He was peculiar in that certain way that Danny had only ever seen in his own family and he just knew that the weirdness was genetic but now looking at this kid, it was even more proof. The boy talked to Danny and Ellie in depth about how much water pressure it would take to burst an eardrum and he offered his own facts about common dissection tools in return. Ellie actually was able to make Bruce laugh talking about a very specific type of dung beetle she had come across in her travels.

The week they planned on staying on Gotham somehow turned into weeks and then it somehow became months and then it became enrolling Ellie in a Gotham private school and moving into the manor and then it became signing legal documents adopting Bruce and helping Alfred coparent a grieving kiddo that just needed some love. Danny wasn't really sure how it happened exactly. But suddenly he was building a new life in Gotham and building an empire and actually patenting his inventions through WE and they were helping people.

Danny felt like he was doing good. And when things got a little rough crime wise, he let his Phantom side come out to play every once in a while. He moved his portal into the basement of the manor and locked it up so Bruce couldn't go down there and get hurt so Danny could still get clean ecto when he and Ellie needed it. Eventually he told Alfred more about what had happened in Amity Park and what let to Ellie's birth. The butler was super loyal to the family and seemed dead serious in keeping the secret to his grave. Danny even got close to Bruce, the child seeing him as someone he could turn to for reassurance and help. Danny didn't want to ever replace Thomas but he did want to be a trusted adult for Bruce.

After a year of the new routine, Danny felt pretty good bout his new life. It turned out, Thomas and Martha didn't really have much of a will other than that all of their assets went to Bruce when he turned 18 and before that it all went to a trusted relative of Alfred's choosing. Luckily the old butler decided Danny was a trustworthy enough guy to let him at least run things even if Alfred technically held the ownership. So he spent his mornings at WE after eating breakfast with the kids and then spent the evenings with Bruce while waiting for Ellie to get home from her various after school activities. Then after Bruce went to bed, he and Ellie would every once in a while go ghost and explore the city a bit. Every once in a while they would take care of a ghost but most of them were benign hauntings and there weren't many places in Gotham that didn't fall into a ghost's haunt. Luckily, most of the city's ecto being population seemed to be in agreement that Phantom and Spright (Ellie's new preferred ghost name) had permission to travel freely through most haunts as long as they didn't disturb any of the dead there.

On nights where they went out, Danny often didn't get much sleep and so he had to make up for it with putting clean ecto in his food as an alternative way to gain energy naturally. Which was fine most of the time but one thing Danny and Ellie learned really quickly was that Bruce was super into eating their food when they weren't looking and considering the fact that they hadn't really told him they were half ghost yet, he didn't really understand why he couldn't just do that sometimes. They didn't want him dosing on ecto and becoming liminal at such a young age.

Danny often had to stand at the kitchen counter and hug his bowl on the mornings that Alfred prepared ecto into his oatmeal just so Bruce wouldn't eat it. He couldn't leave it unattended even for a second sometimes.

Bruce would walk up to him, wide eyed and already asking for a bite of his food and Danny would have to give him the Dad Glare TM and say, "Back away from my food vulture." To which Bruce would put on a dramatic sigh (he was a very good actor for a child) and walk to the table where Alfred had his own food prepared.

The childhood nickname Vulture stuck and Danny and Ellie often found themselves using it as a term of endearment for Bruce as he grew up. Eventually, Danny had to finally admit that his kiddos were grown up. Ellie was travelling the world again in a much more legal fashion and Bruce had just turned 18 and had inherited his vast fortune and estate. So, Danny bought himself a nice house on the hill nearby, moved his portal, and planned to just keep inventing until he got old enough to want to retire.

That was until he heard about a new vigilante that went by "Vulture" that was apparently cleaning up the streets. So it was with a heavy sigh that Danny went ghost mode and stalked his son from afar to make sure he didn't get hurt while playing superhero.

[goddamnitmahtin]

dc x dp group chat shenanigans part 5

Damian: I will be absent for a few days.

Dick: YOUVE ALREADY BEEN GONE FOR SEVERAL DAYS

Cass: !!!

Tim: DAMIAN

Jason: WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN

Steph: Holy shit dude

Duke: Damian what do you mean?

Damian: I am sorry Grayson, Akhi.

Duke: How come he only ever apologizes to Dick and Jason

Tim: You’ll get used to it.

Damian: Barbara, do not trace my location. Or I will make sure your paralyzed in more than just your legs.

Babs: what the fuck

Dick: Hey- that’s not cool bud.

Damian: I apologize for being crass. But I do mean it.

Jason: We know kiddo. Come back safe. We will deal with B.

Damian: Thank you.

Tim: WHEN DID WE AGREE TO THAT

Dick: Just now when you weren’t looking.

Cass: 👍

Duke: We will figure something out

Tim: Fine.

Steph: Good luck Dami. We trust you.

Babs: At least promise that you’ll start using the streets I can track on street cam when you come home.

Damian: Those terms are acceptable.

A few hours later

Cassandra has removed Barbara from “Sib Chat.”

Cass: um. Babs.

Duke: What’s up?

Dick: Something wrong?

Cass: Babs

Jason: Take your time Cass.

Cass: Babs. Um. Birth.

Duke: OH SHIT ITS BARBARAS BIRTHDAY TOMORROW

Tim: Yeah? I assume you all got her gifts.

Cass: 😬

Steph: I forgot-

Dick: I’ve been so busy covering for Dami I forgot.

Jason: Same to be honest.

Tim: Wait you ALL forgot Barbara’s birthday?

Damian: I did not. Her gift from me is in my studio. It’s wrapped already. Give it to her for me Akhi.

Jason: Noted. But yeah we forgot.

Tim: Then you guys better come up with something!

Duke: You aren’t helpful at all.

Tim: No I’m not.

The next morning

Tim has removed Barbara from “Sib Chat.”

Tim: Does everyone have a gift or am I covering for all of you?

Jason: I got her something. And I have the gift from Dami.

Cass: 🫠

Duke: Don’t worry I’ll put both our names on mine. I know you were busy patrolling last night.

Cass: 🙏

Steph: I’m all good. She’s gonna love what I got her.

Dick: I got her something but I dunno if it’ll fit in her apartment.

Jason: Dick-

Tim: Why do you always have to go so dramatic

Dick: It’s my brand.

Tim: It didn’t have to be.

Steph: I dunno I think it’ll fit. It’s just getting it through the door that’ll be- an issue.

Duke: Do I even wanna know?

Dick: I got her a horse!

Duke: Bro what-

That night.

Damian: Happy Birthday Gordon.

Babs: Thank you Damian.

Damian: I’m sorry I cannot be there.

Babs: That’s okay. Thank you for the painting. You’ve gotten really good.

Damian: Thank you. I hope I did you justice in the portrait.

Babs: It’s beautiful Dami. I have no notes.

Damian: Good. Have a good night Gordon. I must go.

Babs: Goodnight kiddo.

[goddamnitmahtin]

Dami’s Teddy Part 5

Before Alfred could make it to the Batcave, there were already several magic users teleporting in. That was not ideal. He was hoping to speak with Master Bruce before Rachel sounded the mystical alarm bells. Alfred had known all of the magic users for a long time but he was still unsure jut how they all communicated with one another so quickly. He assumed it was some sort of magic but it made things very hard when it came to trying to keep anything from any of them.

"I see you all heard," he said, composing himself as much as possible. While he trusted these people and knew enough to know that they were going to attempt to do the right thing, he also knew that some of them were known to jump the gun when it came to certain things. Especially Constantine. Mostly Constantine.

Master Bruce gave Alfred a look, "You knew about this?"

Alfred couldn't help but stare at his employer for a moment. Of course he knew. Master Bruce also knew. He had told him several times. He made it no secret in fact. The only reason Alfred ever covered for Danyal was to not freak out Young Master Damian while he was growing up. The look of shock and betrayal on his master's face was completely unnecessary and Alfred had no sympathy for the man. Of all the things for him to conveniently forget, it had to be the things that made Alfred seem less trustworthy to the magic using allies that the family had gained after the years.

"May I remind you that I mentioned it to you several times and you always said to leave it alone." While Alfred was worried for his employment, it was only a marginal fear, something that would never come to fruition. Alfred simply knew too much. He could ruin Master Bruce if given the chance. He wouldn't. But he very much could.

Alfred was mostly worried for Danyal. After so many years, he knew enough to know that Danyal was no harm to anybody and didn't want to hurt anyone either. He seemed pretty content with the existence he was living most of the time, only ever communicating discontent while mourning whatever his life was before. But Danyal had made it clear that it wasn't something he could ever truly go back to. Not to mention Alfred knew that Danyal cared about Young Master Damian far too much to want to leave. He had watched the boy grow up. The last thing Alfred wanted was for Constantine to assume some sort of animosity and hurt Danyal.

Bruce kept quiet after that and Alfred turned his attention Constantine and Zatanna, "May we all wait to dive in at least until after Young Master Damian gets his rest. He will want to be a part of this conversation and he hasn't slept in several days."

Bruce spoke up once more, his voice softer, "Several days?"

Alfred sighed, "Sir, your son graduated the top of his class and valedictorian. He didn't do that naturally. He lost many hours of sleep to study and review. Especially this last few weeks. Now that it's all over, he's finally resting."

Bruce's brows furrowed, "I will go to his graduation."

Alfred looked down, not wanting to break it to him, "Young Master Damian attempted to invite you but you didn't accept. Young Master Dick went instead."

Bruce looked confused, "I said no?"

Alfred nodded, "I do not think you meant to sir but you know Young Master Damian doesn't handle even the slightest of rejections well from you."

Bruce went quiet once more. The magic users watched, their faces blank as possible, most likely knowing how it goes. It wasn't uncommon that when they were involved with his children, he was the one who seemed to know the least. They all became very good at keeping things from him and sometimes even when they did tell him, Master Bruce was known to prioritize Batman duties unless one of them was actually dying. He tried to be a good dad, Alfred knew that. Everyone knew that. But it was easy to get lost in all the darkness and horror that Gotham had to offer. It was easy to get so lost in wanting to protect everyone else that the people in his own home became less easy to see. Bruce's work home balance had always been abysmal.

Alfred turned to look as the titans entered, fully costumed unlike how he had seen them just 10 minutes before when he was greeting them into the home. The entire team was present but he was mainly keeping an eye on Nightwing and Raven who seemed more antsy than the rest.

"Are you sure it's safe to wait," Zatanna asked.

Alfred nodded, "Yes. I am quite certain that we would be in more danger from Young Master Damian's retired swords for waking him than anything that Danyal could do."

"Danyal?" Constantine pinched the bridge of his nose, "Have you named the entity?"

Alfred sighed, "Young Master Damian did when he was 10. He had gone by that name willingly since then."

"Alfred, your acting like you know this uh- Danyal personally," Nightwing took a step forward.

"I do. He is very good company," Alfred responded. There was no use to lie.

Raven nodded, "I'm inclined to believe you. When I briefly tried to communicate with it, the entity was very benign."

"First contact doesn't mean anything. We don't even know if what we are dealing with is actually a human spirit," Constantine snapped in response. It was the exact attitude Alfred feared he would have.

"Everything I could sense suggested it was. I told you I could exorcise it on my own, you don't even need to be here Constantine," Alfred was beginning to sense there was something else going on with Raven and the magic users that he wasn't privy to that was affecting the way this was going.

Suddenly Raven threw her hand in the air and Danyal appeared on the floor in the middle of the cave, encased in some sort of magical cube, encasing the teddy. It was definitely Raven's magic as Zatanna acted shocked at the sudden movements and John Constantine looked personally offended by it. Alfred was almost positive that there was something else going on now. It was entirely none of his business but it did make him rather prefer of there weren't quite so many of them in his master's home.

"This is Danyal?" Nightwing looked at the teddy incredulously.

Alfred nodded, "Yes."

"I THOUGHT THEY WERE ALL TALKING STUPID! YOU ACTUALLY TALK TO THE FUCKING TEDDY BEAR!?" Nightwing threw his hands in the air dramatically. The boys must have told him about Alfred's habit of speaking with the bear as if he were a person. There was no doubt that all of the bat children had seen him do so at least once but it was mostly Young Masters Tim and Jason that seemed to catch it over the years. The only one who had never really seen it was Young Master Dick as he was gone so often.

Alfred nodded, "Yes."

Next thing Alfred knew, Raven and Constantine were arguing passionately about the teddy and exorcisms. It was going to be a long night.

[goddamnitmahtin]

Cirque de Wayne

Okay so AU where instead of attending galas with Bruce, the Wayne kids all put on a circus in the park to raise money for charities on the weekend. Except that they all have alter egos so they can participate in the acts. The only one who doesn't is Bruce who plays the enthusiastic but useless ringmaster that doesn't do much but host the show. The alter egos are super obvious but they are just dumb enough that the public really truly believes that couldn't be any of the the Wayne family because in public those kids all act clueless and spoiled. Obviously nepo babies. (in this au Danny is dick's twin brother)

Dick and Danny become Rick and Manny, the Flying Baysons. Those two never really got over their need to be free flying above the ground and now Bruce has an outlet to shove his oldest twins into. The general public understand enough to know that they are a nod to the Grayson twins but the way Dick and Danny pretend to hate each other in public and they both very much make a point to make sure Danny falls over everything, the general public has decided that there is simply no possible way that the boys still retained any of their circus training from childhood.

Babs becomes Debora the sharpshooter and marksman. Even though she does absolutely nothing to look different, the public refuses to admit its her. Commissioner Gordon has even publicly stated that there's no way it could be her. But the crowd does go wild every time her chair very theatrically starts rising out of the floor. Her segment of the show where she uses her silenced firearms to hit the moving targets right between the guests get everyone on the edge of their seats. The only time anyone has ever gotten hit was when she went out of her way to hit Dick with every bb she could after he had pushed her out of her chair during a fight the night before. Bruce didn't say anything about it as Dick deserved it.

Jason becomes Mason Codd, strongman who can lift everyone else in the cast. His scar covered toned body is shown off in his costume, a stark contrast to his usual everyday wear which leans more towards conservative librarian. The stark difference is demeanor has the public laughing over the idea that they are the same person the same way that the rumors about Bruce being Batman. The internet has taken to making memes about it asking if the butts match.

Tim becomes Jim, the escape artist extraordinaire who get out of any chains, no matter how many locks. The public, while impressed with his prowess, could never guess it was Tim who has made it publicly known that he is extremely claustrophobic. There is a viral video on youtube of the Wayne family vlogging in an escape room and while the others tried and failed miserably to solve any of the clues (except for Dick who acted semi competent), Tim had started banging on the walls in a panic claiming that he could feel the walls closing in. Its become in internet meme that Tim was so spoiled that a normal sized apartment would be "too claustrophobic" for him. There's a viral tiktok video of Tim Drake entering a public restroom and then immediately running back out, his hands shaking. The video cuts to the Grayson twins fighting over who was the better brother, competing to comfort him.

Stephanie became Tiffany the contortionist. She would bend her body in odd and unnatural ways to the delight of the crowd. Her glittering purple outfit hugged her body, showing off her flexibility as she tried herself into pretzel knots. Public persona Stephanie? Well she was infamously super inflexible. At first the bit started as a way to shut down odd questions from creepy reporters that kept asking her if she was flexible, a very obvious innuendo. Steph found it rude and creepy the way they kept suggesting her body could bend so she publicly did everything in her power to look as stiff and inflexible as possible. During a game show the Wayne family did for PR, there was a racing portion and during the stretches, she made sure to not bend very far, making her look stiff as ever. Now it was just a great cover.

Cassandra became Sandy, the hoop aerial artist that also specialized in pole. It didn't take much to cover up her identity. Just the fact that in public Cass was silent and skittish was enough to throw everyone off her scent as Sandy was flamboyant and confident. There was once a person on Reddit that theorized they were the same person only for the wave of memers that had already been through the trenches with the Jason and Mason allegations to respond with comments about how it was weird that this guy on Reddit was looking to see if the butts matched. That's a lady! Get your head outta the gutter-

Damian took the "i" out of his name and calls himself Damon when he's performing as a knife thrower and a sword swallower. Bruce let Damian do the show thinking he could just throw some knives and be safe about it. Brice knew his kid could aim. But Bruce was just as surprised as everyone else when he took one of his Robin katanas and swallowed it. After that, the internet was so consumed in the idea that Damon was Robin that no even considered that it might have been Damian Wayne. Especially since Damian has very public beef with Damon on twitter.

Now the sleuths of the internet did notice one thing. Over the years as the circus got bigger, since each act seemed to be in honor of each Wayne child, they knew when Bruce was about to adopt another one because a new act was being promoted on the website. It was only a few days after Damon started swallowing swords that suddenly a ten year old Wayne was announced to the public. And now the people of Gotham were patiently awaiting the tabloids introducing the newest Wayne adoptee. The new magician Luke was really talented no doubt was a sign of another random child joining the fold.