heartgoth90

[heartgoth90]

Fairy tales: "And the prince and the princess married and lived happily ever after."

Me: "Did they? Did they really? Are you sure about that? I mean they hardly know each other. Anything could happen. They rushed into this way too fast. There's really no way of knowing."

Sapphic romances: "And after knowing each other for two weeks they moved in together and were married on the next full moon, then lived happily ever after."

Me: "Well obviously. Standard procedure. Of course they did. Makes sense. I'm happy for them. It's basically science."

[heartgoth90]

Karlach: "The people are rioting, soldier. They're throwing bricks at the Flaming Fist. Let's join in!"

My trans Tav: "Y'know, I'm something of a brick, myself... 🥹👉👈"

[heartgoth90]

"Oh yeah! That feels so good! Hurt me harder! Make me suffer! I can take it all." I shout at the drama playing on my TV like the slut I am.

[heartgoth90]

I'd like you tell the authorities investigating my death that this scene is what killed me. This is the murder weapon. I simply could not go on afterwards. 🥵

[heartgoth90]

Love it when a plot thickens

YOUTUBER STRANGE ERONS IS IN MY HOUSE! SHE HAS TAKEN THE FORM OF A CURSED DOLL AND INVITED ONE OF HER BEASTS! ITS EYES BECKON ME INTO HELL, AND I PISS ON THE HARDWOOD FLOOR AT ITS CALL! FOR SHAME! FOR SHAME! FOR SHAME!

[heartgoth90]

Today's musical rotation is classics of Australiana.

So I have a question for you.

Am I ever gonna see your face again?

[heartgoth90]

I know people aren't here for the news, but trans folks, I'm thinking of you tonight and how you deserve better.

[heartgoth90]

I have had the most unhinged recipe idea ever.

Take a hotdog. Deconstruct.

Cut open the sausage and dice up the meat.

Roll out bun with rolling pin until flat. Toast in oven hanging over the oven rack so it toasts "folded".

Recombine meat and bun with condiments.

You have now turned your hotdog into a taco through Cuisine Confirmation Cookery.

[heartgoth90]

All aliens are either The English or Jesus.

[heartgoth90]

Don't understand why no video game arcade has been interested in my new two-player cometitive rhythm game 'Beat Off!'

[heartgoth90]

[heartgoth90]

Okay but this is also just how billionaires and the wealthy at large think about money. The rest of us, the people with an iota of fucking sense, understand money's purpose is to be exchanged for goods and services and that we don't lose money when we spend it, we're using the money for the only fucking thing it is there to do.

But rich cunts are obsessed with having the biggest numbers and that means hoarding money, rendering it inert and entirely fucking useless. They're pathologically disinterested in what they can get for money because they want to keep all that money like they're saving up potions for a final boss fight that's never coming. Of course they still want shit that the rest of us do like Big Macs and Netflix, but they look for ways to get that while spending as little of their hoard as they can (leveraging wealth for loans and then "paying" for goods and services by reducing future income, for example, gets them the big house without making the numbers smaller).

Add to all that being a giant fucking moron like Trump and Musk are on every other topic known to humanity, over and above the asinine pathetic mental fuckery all wealthy people have going on, and you get a special kind of disaster that, coincidentally, these assholes are insulated against because we decided we should reward people for being selfish inhumane ghouls.

I don't think we stress enough that billionaires are not good economists. Hoarding wealth is a failure at using money for the only thing it exists to do and it undermines the fundamental functions of our economy when you don't spend it. The only way to become a billionaire is to be an economic fuckup of the highest, most dangerous order.

You've got to be a colossol fucking imbecile to be a billionaire.

MAGA does not care about Trump's stupid and inane economic policies. They want racism. They want misogyny. They want homophobia.

Elect a rapist, get a shockingly unrepentant shithead.

[heartgoth90]

I thought of another inline skates pun!

"I love Elder Scrolls Inline. It's so radical!" "You mean Elder Scrolls Online?" "Nah, dude. Inline!" *draws sword and skates away to battle Molag Bal in the half-pipe*

[heartgoth90]

Happy Pride month everyone! A quick follow up kiss from my last Carmilla x Laura illustration, I kinda wanted it to be a little more gentle and sweet, so hopefully I’ve achieved that 🤞

[heartgoth90]

"I love Elder Scrolls Inline. It's so radical!" "You mean Elder Scrolls Online?" "Nah, dude. Inline!" *draws sword and skates away to battle Molag Bal in the half-pipe*

[heartgoth90]

[heartgoth90]

Ugh! I am so tired of all these fake gamer girls.

You know the kind! They buy all the merch, constantly looking for attention, made of scrap cloth, spend more time at cons than at a computer, stuffed with straw and twigs, think Animal Bossing is a real game, obsessed with steam achievements, animated by a fae glamour, constantly saying lame cutesy stuff like "OMG look at this ring of mushrooms come stand in the middle of it with me!", always trying to convince you to "give [them] your username" - pfft, yeah, like I'd fall for that again.

Fake gamer girls. So annoying!