katicakata

[katicakata]

Why am I so mean to people I hate myself :\

[katicakata]

I love being skinny but I hate feeling my bones touch 😭

[katicakata]

You all have NO idea how much I adore genetics. I love it. Studying genetics is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I get excited just thinking about it.

[katicakata]

The never ending cycle of guilt.

The reason I'm as $uicidal as I am is because I can't shake the feeling that I'm burdening everyone with my existence. I plague them with melancholy.

The guilt of this is weighing on my shoulder, it's pushing me down constantly. I feel like if I were 6 feet underground it couldn't push me further.

Also, I couldn't ruin everything from the other side, right?

However.

I acknowledge that people love me, and if I was gone they'd feel pain. Which would also be my fault. Just a thought of my loved ones suffering because of me repents me from leaving.

The contradiction;

They're suffering because of me either way. I'm a bad person either way. It's going to be my fault either way.

I'm so so tired.

[katicakata]

People always say you shouldn't care about other people's opinions, but if I didn't probably would've offed myself by now.

[katicakata]

Day 2 of trying to get out of depression.

I came cycling, read a few pages and sketched something.

Still, all I can think about is how I do not wish to be alive

[katicakata]

Day 1 of trying to get out of depression because it's getting really bad

I painted today, It didn't go that great but that's not the point. I need to remember who I am.

I also took my sister's bunny on a walk.

It's a start.

[katicakata]

Not killing myself should be an Olympic sport

[katicakata]

Bro I just relapsed after more than a year over a minor inconvenience and I'm so mad and disappointed why am I like this I thought I was ok what the fuck

I was also going on easy mode, I'm only counting the wounds that bleed bro.

This is gonna stay visible bro what the fuck I want to kill myself so bad

[katicakata]

Healing means the death of my newborn Tumblr blog

[katicakata]

I feel like this is turning into an @na blog but hey at least it keeps me accountable?

[katicakata]

I thought reaching my gw was it but ofc not, I got a new one

(it's a never ending cycle)

[katicakata]

Today's bug spot is a spotted bug:

Harmonia axyridis

She's a pretty (but vicious) little gal

Sorry for the bad quality :\

[katicakata]

[katicakata]

What the flip thanks guys 🎀

[katicakata]

Huddersfield Gay Pride Parade, 1981. Featuring some boy named Steven from Manchester.

[katicakata]

When life sucks but strawberries exist so it's all worth it 🍓🎀