kofikit

[kofikit]

For @kofikit to 'Black Lipstick' by Powerman 5000

DPxDC Did I Just Romance a Cthulhu?

Tim wakes up slowly.

It's a bit unusual — he usually comes awake all at once, his mind suddenly going into alert mode. And yet, there are sometimes days like this when his overloaded brain decides to take a break and lets him take his time.

First come the sounds: a soft hum not unlike some white noise that's supposed to help you fall asleep, a quiet clicking sound that has no obvious rhythm to it — not a clock, then — and the faintest sound of traffic from somewhere. Then, Tim feels the pleasantly cool, silky sheets under him, and the fluffy pillow under his head, and a heavy, perfectly weighted blanket on top of him.

He doesn't rush to open his eyes. Doing that would mean actually coming to terms with being awake, and he's not quite there yet. He still wants to enjoy this unexpectedly lazy morning.

Only, then there's a quiet, shuffling sound coming from just beside him, and that snaps Tim into awareness in less than a moment.

Is he not alone?..

He sits up in bed.

That's not his room. Nor is it any of his safe houses, or backup apartments, or any place he knows at all. Not a hotel, either — the bedroom looks lived in and luxurious, even more so than something Damian, with his heir-to-an-ancient-bloodline crap can dream of. The bed itself has a floating fucking canopy with shimmering stars moving over it like they're alive.

But that's all secondary; he can figure out where he is later. Right now, he needs to figure out who-

Or, correction, what he's woke up in bed with?

Because whatever is sleeping on the other side of the bed is distinctly not human. It... resembles the shape, sure, but even that is up for debate: Tim can't figure out the outline of their body. It's all blurred lines and twisting shapes, a void of shadows laying under the dark blue covers, wisps of black lazily moving in the air where their head should be. Looking at it directly kind of hurts Tim’s brain; it's like that feeling you get when you walk past a dark alley — you can feel something's there, but you don't look, because if you do, you know you won't find anything out of the ordinary.

Also, that low hum he was hearing when he just woke up seems to be coming from... that. Them.

Also also, Tim has no clothes on. As in, none, zero clothing items on his body, which is not great in general, but together with the rest of the clues just sends him straight into mild panic.

Did he?.. No, no-no-no, what the fuck, he couldn't have- There's no way- What was he even doing last night?!

The peacefully sleeping creature of void shifts again. Tim holds his breath — he just needs a few more moments to come to terms with this situation — but it doesn't help. His maybe one night stand flops on their back and huffs.

And then they reach their hands up over their head and stretch, back arching, and they yawn, and there's bright, lime green light coming from somewhere in their throat which makes their mouth actually illuminated from the inside, and they have a green tongue, and those teeth don't look like they are real — none of their body parts looks real — and-

"M'rning," they say, and Tim is momentarily taken aback. Because, after all that eldritch nonsense, their voice sounds way too normal. It's just a voice; low and groggy from sleep, definitely masculine, but otherwise just plain ordinary.

He looks up into the being's eyes. They are the same lime green (not very surprising at this point), glowing a bit (again, not surprising), and there's five of them, just scattered over their upper face (okay, a little surprising).

Tim blinks.

The cryptid blinks back. With all their eyes at once.

"Why do you-" they start saying, but then seemingly notice their unearthly appearance and make a slightly frustrated noise, "Ah, right, my bad."

In the next moment, the pitch black, shadowy color fades like someone dissolves it, and Tim is looking at a perfectly normal guy. Pale white skin, blue eyes (just the two of them, which is the normal amount of eyes to have), black hair.

And dozens of weird, smudged black marks on his body. Mostly around his neck, but some of them are trailing down his chest, and, oh, they look like-

"Are those lipstick marks?" Tim asks, which is probably the least important thing to ask, but.

The guy grins and reaches up, running a finger over Tim’s lips as he just sits there, stunned and confused. "Yeah," he confirms, "It looked great on you. Dark and dramatic is definitely your style."

Tim sucks in a sharp breath and closes his eyes, rubbing at his temples like that can help him just straight up banish this whole morning from his head.

But if he's getting his clues right, and he usually prides himself in doing so, then it looks like he's just spent a night with a fucking Lovecraftian horror in a skin of a human. And his body feels like it's been great. Which is just brilliant, right.

"Hey, is this a good time to ask if you remember agreeing to become High King's Consort, or do you want to talk about that after we get breakfast?" Comes a casual, nonchalant question a moment later, and Tim nearly chokes on his own breath.

Agreeing to become the fucking what?!

~•~•~•~

At first, I thought about doing something dark and dramatic, like the events of the previous night, when they've actually met. But I'm going through some shit right now and I wanted something nice to cheer myself up, so. There's that.

I really hope you like it, and here's a bonus aesthetic for this piece!

[kofikit]

DP x DC: Smoke & Mirrors

Tim gets hit by a sleep spell. Y'know the ones - where you have to want to wake up and escape your perfect fantasy.

One moment Batman is yelling in his ear that he taught Tim better than rushing in blindly, like Tim had a choice with Nightwing's impulsive leap.

Yeah, sure... the choice of not watching Nightwing's back.

People always thought it was Jason or Damian who were the impulsive ones. But really it was Nightwing, and then Spoiler, and then Damian. Jason was just hotheaded and loud, which gave the impression but in fact he was one of the more cautious Bats when entering a place.

When Tim 'wakes up' someone he hadn't seen since he was twelve is in front of him. Danny Fenton reaches out to him softly and asks, "Hey, are you okay?"

Like the boy hadn't died in front of Tim, Sam and Tucker in his parents' lab.

He looks good. He looks healthy. Older. The baby fat gone from his cheeks to become a sharp jawline. Narrow frame that Tim's experience with awareness of his surroundings automatically categorized as five foot nine swimmer's build. Same as his mom, Maddie. His eyes were different though, more green in them now, like his sister's.

They're in a coffee shop and Danny is handing Tim a drink with one hand and brushing hair away from Tim's forehead with another.

Tim replies, "Yeah. I'm fine now," and then they go about their day.

There's hints. Missing time, changed clocks, how touch and heat and cold sometimes feel dulled and sometimes too sharp. Faces that pass through the day are always familiar and out of place in the roles they are given. For some reason every street light is red all the time.

He ignores it all desperately, because Danny says he loves Tim like it had been said a million times. And it hurts. Because Danny said that all the time when they were children, but it didn't mean the same thing when they were little kids playing house with Jazz.

Tim supposes those words said so easily shouldn't seem odd to him seeing as Danny had said 'love you' to him the most out of anyone in Tim's life.

His parents were only home during school vacations, and the Bats weren't very vocal about it. But Danny had always said it liberally. As if an 'I love you' were money and he wanted to make his friends and family rich as hell.

Even though Tim hadn't seen Danny in a decade he had still heard it more in total from Danny than all other people summarily.

The day drifts. They go to visit Jason's grave - over the course of their walk they'd left behind the Gotham coffee shop and Gotham graveyard. The air smells like wheatgrass and gravestones became polished as they let the rusty always-unlocked gate swing shut to Amity Graveyard. Danny doesn't have one there even though Tim remembers where it should be, and leaves a flower.

Danny gets scared when he says that, holds Tim with both hands cradling his face and reassures that he didn't die that day, it only made him half ghost and he's still here.

Tim cracks to pieces being held by him as he sobs, and the world warps. Danny takes him home to their apartment. Tim knows that's not how it works and he's missing something. It doesn't feel real-

Danny stops him and says he teleported them. Which all of a sudden makes sense to Tim, of course that was all. He remembers now. Danny has too many powers to name, even Tim forgets them all sometimes. (Don't think about it.)

These days there are so few ghost attacks in Amity with Danny running things in the Realms. Danny doesn't need to use powers like teleportation often. Tim usually tries not to think about those harsh days when the halfa was tripping into new abilities left and right while Tim had to watch the ghosts break his bones in the middle of the street. He's been so out of it today, drifting, worrying Danny.

But Danny understood. He'd been a hero for a long time from an early age. There were so few people who understood Tim. His earliest childhood friend didn't mind him having bad days. He said as much in the graveyard when Tim cried where Danny's grave should be.

They go to sleep early but Tim feels like he didn't sleep at all when he watches the red, cloudy sunrise through the window. Something about it is- he's drawn to it, struggles to remember- why red, his parents' summer cottage home in Illinois didn't have red skies-

Danny flinches away from the light in his sleep and Tim's hit with fury. He slips away from being held for a short moment to snap the shades shut. Ghosts fear light the way humans fear the dark. They shouldn't have been open anyway. He won't let anything hurt Danny, even as small as nightmares.

They get up, shower, make breakfast, Danny keeps helping him remember what happened in missing time, and holds him fiercely in reassurance that it's okay. He doesn't mind helping Tim remember if it means he stays.

The day is a fog; at the diner the waitress sets down a plate of waffles and begs Tim to wake up, tells him dreams aren't real happiness and that she loves her boyfriend even if they are messy and hurt and have to gently rebuild brick by brick - she wants to do that with him if he would just wake up.

Danny punches the waitress in the face so hard she stumbles back into the bar, and snaps at her with eyes glowing neon that this was the way things were supposed to be.

It was stolen from them once.

Danny wasn't going to let him go ever again.

Tim's confused - Danny had never died. Tim hadn't had to let him go. He'd grown up in that summer cottage with his parents, and spent all his life hearing Danny say 'I love you' in different ways.

Summers filled with the Illinois haze of pollen and heat, neon lights of the FentonWorks sign and sleepovers under glow stars, making lightsaber noises as he and Tucker chased each other around at the playground under the shade of the trees, summer storms rife with thunder as they all screamed and ran outside into the rain to throw mud at each other in gratitude for the cold, sand under his bare toes and the night sky stretched overhead with a bonfire on the shores of Lake Eerie. His parents home from digs for the hot season and he got to see them every single morning before he went off to play. The crisp crunch of leaves as they began to turn before school started back up and Tim was returned to Gotham's boarding schools and the usually lonely city penthouse.

What did the halfa mean by it being stolen from them? Tim was right here.

It's a workday though, and after Danny takes Tim and bolts from the diner, he mulishly gives him rough kiss goodbye then drops him off at work.

The routine of it settles him. The familiarity and knowing what to expect. Tim may as well be a messenger boy today, going back and forth between his office where he would video call the managers of various Neon Knights centers, and the financial division to turn in request forms.

He falters his way through conversational Russian with the newest center they opened out there, ends up chatting about taking Tae Kwon Do with the rep in Hong Kong, and has to argue in Mandarin for three full hours to secure a contract with a company to send sports equipment to the Neon Knights center in England.

Tim hacks his way into a full folder of basic data about four kids that Gotham's Neon Knights centers had informed him were interested in attending Gotham Uni, a record high for the week, and put it all together in a way that made them look like wonderful scholarship candidates.

He throws open the door to the CEO's office with a wide grin and too excited to remember he'd loosened his tie and undone the bottom two buttons of his shirt. "Four! Four kids told the new counselor they want to join the Martha Foundation's scholarship-"

"Tim, son," Bruce interrupts him with voice pleading. "I'm so proud of you, and I never tell you that enough. Please wake up. Please come back to us. I know we aren't perfect, but that false fantasy - it's fake, and there are real people that love you waiting. Wake up, Tim."

Wide-eyed, Tim stumbles a step back.

The mirror on the wall cracks. The coffee on the desk tilts to spill on the floor. Bruce doesn't react.

"Tim!"

And Danny's there, cupping his face and pleading with Tim to stay calm. Reassuring him that he's safe with eyes pinched like he was going to cry from watching Tim so upset and terrified.

He pulls Tim away and Tim clings to him with the reflex of the damned drowning in water, that claw for a hold on their rescuer only to drag them both under with their struggles.

Danny had brought him lunch at work knowing he was likely going to forget given how much trouble Tim was having lately. There's nothing in his eyes but worry and patience.

He cares. Bruce is wrong, Danny has always loved him. Bruce may care but Tim had to earn any love or loyalty there bit by bit - by baring his throat for them to hold a knife to, working himself exhausted to earn it... and it was conditional.

If Tim left his job that love would leave too. He's seen it before when people retired. It was obvious from the chat with Cissie and Greta that had the last message sent two years ago when they happened to be visiting Gotham and asked to meet up for lunch. But Tim had already been in San Francisco by the time they did.

Tim never had to earn it with Danny. Danny expected nothing beyond the basics of communicating in their relationship and reciprocating affection, never wanted him to be useful to earn praise, never gave him the cross to bear of a title of responsibility to be the better person like 'Damian's brother' or 'Replacement', had never wanted Tim to fight even if the halfa had to.

Danny never wanted him to be anything. Danny just wanted him.

Tim is clinging to Danny as Bruce's words turn to static in his ears and the world crashes around him like the glass from the mirror did - and everything twists again. Right, teleporting.

It's suddenly late afternoon near sunset. Tim is sitting in a chair at the table, calm, staring at the steaming coffee in front of him. There's the rhythmic sound of a knife on a cutting board somewhere, along with a pissed off nightingale outside the window chasing another songbird through their tree, the faint rushing of wind and leaves.

Danny's arms are both around him and he's leaning against Tim's back with chin on his shoulder gently rocking them.

"Back with us, baby?" Is murmured to him, and Tim finally raises his head to blink and then nod slowly.

Danny tilts his head to the side towards him with a touch to the chin and kisses him so softly Tim can barely stand it. Tim shifts a knee to try and halfway turn around for easier access and returns it with just as much feeling.

Why did it feel like no one has touched or kissed him like this in years? Shouldn't he be used to it?

Tim frowns when they part. "... How long have we been together by now?"

"Officially? Well, prom was... you turned thirteen around... Mm, ten years?"

Tim blinked. It has truly been so long, since the lab?

He had spent half his life without Danny? Might've- would have, if Danny weren't halfa.

He remembers it now that Danny said it, like being told unlocked the memories. Talking, laughing, their first kiss while Danny was in physio after the accident and he had been able to write his name again for the first time - Tim had spun him around as they yelled in joy and then found himself pulling Danny in for it. Then they pretended it never happened as they scrambled though the Bi crisis. Gentle kisses exchanged in secret and even more hesitant gestures of affection they pretended were just friends being supportive. They were so tiny.

Tim could never survive that loss, he thinks. Half his life alone would become a majority and he couldn't stand the thought of that. Of experiencing more of life without Danny than with him.

Why did he keep thinking he was going to lose Danny?

There was a scraping sound from the kitchen as a knife was wiped off on the edge of a cutting board, then a sizzle. Hot oil and the smell of roasting.

Kon, chopping the onions since the juice couldn't hurt his eyes and make them tear up. He always did that for them when anyone cooked.

Danny hesitates and gives Tim a careful look. "Why do you ask? More brain fog, are you okay?"

"Just orienting myself I guess." Tim answers.

He becomes aware of voices in the living room after a loud bang from there. Bart, Cassie, Sam, and Tucker all laughed.

Of course Danny had called them when Tim blanked out again. How many times was that this month? He feels horrible, guilty, for being a burden-

"Hey, no," Danny rubs a thumb over his cheek. "They enjoy their time here sunshine. You're no burden. They like spending time with you even when you're having one of these... Moments. They just prefer you more present because it's better for you. And they're my friends too you know, just like Sam and Tucker are yours."

Tim feels something in him coil up in bitterness at the last part - Sam's screaming still echoes in his ears sometimes, after what happened to Danny. She hates him.

But there was still history there, a long one, they were too important to each other to let sleeping dogs lie.

The hesitance about Sam is secondary to hearing the softness in Danny's voice, the laughter in the other room, the clack of the spatula in the kitchen and vague smell of caramelized onion drifting on the air.

"I love you." Tim tells Danny on reflex.

It felt like ages since he last said that to Danny.

"Stay with me then, okay?" Danny smiles and pokes him lightly in the side, half playful half affectionate. "And I'll wait as long as you need to see your eyes light up like this again. Needing breaks is okay. I just want you to rest. I'll always be here when you zone back in, okay space cadet?"

Tim kisses him, and remembers what it's like to feel like home is a person. It makes him feel like a little kid again.

"It's his favorite," Alfred says as he sets down the plate of fancy stuffed mushrooms next to them. He'd chosen a mix of cream cheese and caramelized onion for the filler of them today. It was the differing fillings that Tim liked most, always something new to try, he liked the variety. "They say the smell of coffee can wake the dead. You lot certainly do look like zombies, stumbling down the stairs following it."

"He's not dead!" Kon snaps from the entrance to the kitchen.

The suddeness, the yelling, and the jarring way it tore apart the warmth in his chest that his lungs could barely contain make Tim flinch. His shoulders drop forward as he all but cowers with head bowed towards the still-hot coffee.

Danny covers Tim's ears and puts up a barrier to seal the spaces between his fingers, and then Tim watches the halfa's mouth move silently like the world was on mute while Danny yelled his lungs out at the two in sheer neon-eyed rage.

Danny would never let them hurt him. Tim knows it down to his soul. He remains relaxed, lets his head lean against one of the other's shoulders.

Eventually Alfred leaves and Kon goes to the living room with the others. Tim cards a hand through Danny's hair until he's calm. They breathe together to slow their racing heartbeats, and Danny's hands eventually stop shaking.

When Danny finally opens his eyes they flash red once before settling back to his usual gorgeous northern lights green. "Tim. As long as you want it - want this. I'll keep you safe, I'll keep you here. I promise."

Tim nods slowly. He has vague flashes - Bruce and Dick standing and screaming in the entryway of the manor, his mother hissing in low cold about the Drake heirship, his father pulling a gun on Bruce and yelling that Tim is his son after finding out about Robin, Damian's loud haughty voice and way of twisting simple words into cruelty... Tim would hide in his room whenever he was at home. Jason told him once that Bruce and Dick didn't fight in front of him like that as a child. Tim was trained to be a soldier instead of a son so they didn't care by then, and fought in front of him all the time.

"... I hate it when they yell." Tim whispers.

Danny's eyes burn with anger and determination, and he presses a kiss to Tim's temple. "Then I'll make sure you never hear them again, since they're only going to upset you. Okay?"

Tim exhales and melts into him, basking in the affection as all five of their best friends talk in the other room, waiting for the two to be ready to join them. "Okay."

.

.

.

The cave is nearly full with a more-colorful-than-you-would-think array of Gotham vigilantes as the rush of air and electrical whine of the Zeta power down.

"Zatanna," Bruce says, jaw tight. "Thanks for coming."

Zatanna nods at him. "Batman. You said it was a magically induced sleep state?"

Batman makes a small sound on confirmation and turns to lead the way to the medbay.

"Right. Let's get the kid on his feet. Don't worry, it won't take long to wake him up."

[kofikit]

DP x DC: Mission Impossible

One day at family dinner Dick starts a rant about a pretty girl. His type - flaming red hair, tall, smart. It's always that type. The Bats are all stalkers, not just Tim. They may tease and poke fun at the boy who confronted Batman about his ID, but Oracle could tell them everything down to the average amount of time they spent brushing their teeth. And they all knew it. Professionalism and politeness have never been a hangup (or respect given) of any of them. Thus, Dick made an appointment with his new therapist Jasmine Fenton to spend time with her.

... Which utterly backfired on him of course. She completely wrecked his shit and he admits so with a dreamy sigh that makes every other Bat at the table physically cringe. Every single bit of the flirting went swoosh right past her, and she used it to rip open his issues with Kori and Babs like they were held together by Christmas wrapping paper instead of decades of trauma and violence.

After dinner Dick cheerfully slings an arm around Jason, the world blurs, and the next thing his siblings know they've been kidnapped and are waking up in a therapy office, stumbling through the door in a haze as Dick's words of blackmail and manipulation still rang in their ears.

You see, Jasmine didn't believe him about how bad his siblings were themselves. She believed he was dramatizing. Everyone always thought their own perspective was the correct one. Especially those used to acting purely on their own ideas of morality and leveraging authority to support said morals. She knew better than to say she thought he was speaking on bias out loud of course - but Dick was more than well trained in reading micro-expressions, and he knew she didn't believe him.

Dick presents them to her like a cat bringing a live lizard into the kitchen. It's after work hours, she was just about to leave, and now Cass is somehow on top of the fan blades on the ceiling twirling around, Damian is trying to distract her with mutual knife appreciation and it isn't working, Tim is disappearing into a void of the shadows creeping towards the door frame, Stephanie is raiding her secret snack stash and shoving it all in her pockets, and Jason is in a headlock as he and Dick argued.

Then Danny walked in. Sees all this. And they see him.

Jazz, realizing that she would absolutely not be able to continue with Dick as a client after this, turned to him with a smile. "You know how I'm not supposed to talk about clients."

"Ye."

"Baby brother, I found a family worse than ours. This is one of the most hilarious things that's ever happened to me. Call Dan and Ellie. While we wait for them to get here we're all going for late night tacos. Immediately. And then, we're gonna go steal the declaration of independence."

"Cool." Danny replies casually.

It is at this moment Dick realizes he fucked up. "Wait, you're serious."

Yup."

"We're stealing the declaration?"

"YUP."

"... Jazz, I'm in love with you." Dick states melodramatically with a hand over his heart.

"No, you're not. You're in love with Barbara but can't handle your own fantasies of perfection not matching up with a secure relationship with her. You view your parents with crowds cheering for their success as an ideal to live up to, and that's what you have with Kori, while a quiet domestic life with Barbara makes you believe you're letting them down and feels like a failure to their legacy to you."

Tim whispers, "Holy shit she killed him."

Physically incapable of not making death jokes Danny instantly turns and replies, "Not yet, just wait until she has more than ten tacos and a margarita in her."

"This is going to be one of the best days of my life." Tim tells him.

Both of them acquire popcorn and are watching Dick sobbing in the middle of a Chilis like it's a soap opera within half an hour. Tim, as always, is designated camera man that everyone makes eye contact with like they're on The Office while Jazz leads the pack in going feral.

And then everyone has to pretend they are completely average civilians as they literally break into and out of the National Archive Museum in Washington D.C. Not a single one of them knows what the social abilities of average civilians are supposed to be like when breaking into places.

[kofikit]

DP x DC: Mall Cryptids

The Waynes are putting in an official public appearance. One those ones they have to put on an act for and mask so hard even their vigilante personas are practically relaxed compared to.

They go to the mall. Dick is chatting up anything female shaped. Cass stays glued to Dad's side like a limpet which is making the cashiers feel awkward as Brucie Darling flirts with them. Damian's smile looks like it would make glass start vibrating and shatter from him looking at it. Tim is getting a lot of sympathetic looks as he is, comparatively, the calm casually goth kid who puts up with this shit and runs everything. Duke wonders what he did to deserve this. Alfred follows The Waynes with several bags, a proper butler, and this prevents them from buying out half the stock of Claires.

Everyone has to pretend Jason is still dead and talk nicely about him if anyone asks. Meanwhile Jason is breaking into the wine stash of the manor wondering where the f--k everyone is.

They crowd in through the entrance of the giant sporting goods shop, fully blocking the doors, and the two people exiting don't have time to dodge or retreat.

Tim and Duke are slammed in between two walls of people as Dick, Bruce, and the rest pile drive into them from behind.

The four of them go down hard and attempts to get them up are not successful until the third or so. Damian offers a hand up to Tim with a cheerful Wayne smile and Tim glares but takes it anyway, then Damian goes 'whoops' and drops him while Tim is still rolling his eyes. He crashes back into Danny (again), who this time catches Tim against one shoulder and gives Damian a look because he could tell it was intentional.

Once everyone is upright Danny and Jazz move out of the doorway to let them the rest of the way in. Apologies are made and then exaggerated, while the two look more weirded out the longer it continues and Tim tries to get them to stop. Danny decides he appreciates and sympathizes with Tim. Dick, predictably, sees One (1) very tall redheaded woman that can bench press his entire body one-handed and swoons instantly. Full-on victorian maiden with a hand over his heart as he gets lightheaded and tilts sideways into Bruce, who catches him with reflex born of twenty years of Dick randomly flinging himself off anything from trees to tall buildings purely to give Bruce heart problems.

SUDDENLY, (lol), the doors next to them are thrown open by a third crowd in ski masks. They point AK47s at the cashiers in a way that shows they don't know how to use them - which is many cases is even more dangerous than someone who does know how.

Danny, Ancient of Space, doesn't need some fancy movement to concentrate his powers, his hands are not magic wands. He blinks, decides what he wants, and portals open up in front of the gunmen and sweep over them. They fall on their asses in the local police precinct at an angle so that if any of them pulled the trigger on reflex the bullet would go into the ceiling.

There is a moment of silence.

Danny and Jazz turn their heads back to the Waynes.

"-Anyway,"

Dick explodes with noise, gasping loudly which some of the others take as cue. Tim just stares at them.

There is a slight miscommunication here. You see, in Amity Park, random portals would be no big deal. In Gotham? The Bats are making some (correct in this case) assumptions that it had something to do with these strangers instead of the two cashiers. Continuing Forward:

Dan Masters is at home babysitting gremlin Danielle Masters and the fact there are 4 of them sometimes but only two siblings legally has the Bats extremely confused.

The Bats think Jazz is a fake relative because she isn't named Danette nor has black hair, but they can't prove it and it drives them nuts for the entire fic.

Stephanie only shows up as Spoiler at first because she tries to keep separate from the Waynes - until Danny and Jazz go to the Manor for the first time, where she is added to the party with zero word of introduction like she was there the entire time. Danny and Jazz think she's a hallucination for a solid week.

[kofikit]

DP x DC: Dimension Hopper

Danny spends a long time in the Realms, hopping in and out of worlds. He finds that most aren't like his home.

Some of the natural forces extend to some worlds and some don't - most have around half the total amount of natural forces, so for example, half of worlds on average don't have gravity.

The Earth he comes from doesn't have natural forces such as speedforce, godforce, etc, that are common in other worlds.

Time. Time doesn't exist in half of them. It's all a jumble of access according to how the person entering or exiting from the Realms perceives it. Sometimes in these worlds Danny ages and matures but in most he doesn't despite gaining experiences.

Discovering what it feels like to simply exist with knowledge and not have it weigh down his shoulders is a form of relief; a freedom from nature the same as learning to fly, to go intangible against threats, all the rest.

He learns to exist under a thousand different combinations of natural laws, and how he changes as a person under different conditions, versus the Core of him that will supercede nature to remain the same.

And half the worlds? Without the laws of physics that create things such as planets and stars, without global warmth that collects to a surface or creates life? It's absolutely wild the things those world create. Danny isn't sure how long he spends wandering them. It wouldn't matter. An eon could be mere days back home.

He passes through planets that are created of solid gemstones and the Realms at large have permanent access to. Ghosts come and go as freely as if it were the Realms. Those with obsessions in crafting or appearance source gems there while Danny explores. Learns how to light the crystals up with ecto. How the local creatures use them to communicate and for food. How intricately worlds can connect to ghosts versus far away worlds like his own.

He goes to worlds where the only solid land drifts in space - compares the way those ones function to a giant network of treehouses. One he goes to has cultures that created many death god ghosts. The ghosts of that world pick and choose who to overshadow for an entire lifetime from the people that created them, and in turn the ghost kept the community's homes together using telekinesis as the planet-long rows of homes difted in void. That was the natural law of harmony - one absent from Danny's home world.

Worlds were there was abundance of glycine instead of cosmic gas. It made any gravitational collections of material form into essentially tiny jello stars, plasma shapes that any being who finds itself there can jump off the sides of and have gravity go from sideways to underneath them again. The one Danny found was filled with huge wyrm creatures that drifted through the void eating them, and he followed them through energy and space, learning to shift as freely as matter did there in order to survive. It can do or be whatever it wants. He formed plasma into leaves and stuck it inside a different colored gel 'stars' to watch them burst with irrational plant life, simply because he wanted them to have that effect.

Nothing makes sense, and he learns to let go of any expectation.

Learns to be a ghost as fully and completely as he once felt human.

Finally one day he finds a world remarkably similar to his own home. It even had humans!! They have speedforce and godforce instead of inertia and rhythm, but when those two forces work in conjunction with entropy, they act similarly anyway.

It's nostalgic. They have a job called 'hero' which is different than what Danny's idea of a 'hero' is, but still familiar. To him a hero is someone who takes community responsibility, faces threats in others' place, and acts despite fear rather than pushing fear away. A hero was a cat that faces a mountain lion for her kittens, humans that had no choice but to work through the pandemic. They did what they had to do. But here, 'hero' was anyone whose job was to try and help as a chosen duty - more like disaster zone volunteers ot police back home.

That's why the Bats of Gotham drew Danny's interest as he explored this world's rules. Typically he didn't stay long in worlds with Fate. The acroBats were like Danny was once. When he was a little kid, who didn't want to fight, but was cornered by the fact others needed him to. So small on the cosmic scale yet overcoming it with annoying tenacity.

Managing to follow him when it should have been an impossibility out of sheer accident and stubbornness. Just like he was however long ago. (Is this what his 'Rogues' as they called it here used to feel like? Ancients, no wonder they couldn't stand Danny, but also would bite anyone who was mean to him.)

He should have known better really. Fate always did love ripping him apart, tying him down to a place. (He should have listened to Ellie about freedom, more.)

[kofikit]

DP x DC: Source Your Facts

TWs for hostage situation and temporary confinement in the really cliche alien abduction way lol . How do the yetis know so much about human biology that they can be doctors to a halfa?

"……….."

Okay so the Yetis are too nice to do anything cruel, instead they buy textbooks from all over the realms. They're in fierce competition with Ghost Writer... In other words there is a market for information on the biology of different types of living creatures.

There is one center that researches this by just going through random doors in the infinite realms and taking people. This is obviously illegal; this is what the Real World laws were about that got Danny arrested in canon. Without Pariah? Enforcement of ANY laws only existed in small pockets like Walker's domain and were up to the discretion of the authority.

So the ghosts whose obsession is research go into a random realm and look for the fittest and most capable humans around, who also happen to have many illnesses/injuries they've survived, to study the after-effects of.

Now obviously the Bats have seen some shit y'know. So the ghosts literally just 'alien abduct for medical research and probing' the Bats.

Tim is a survivor of The Clench; one of very few too. Damian and Cass have lazarus exposure. These will be the three taken.

Jason fights his way free because they happen to catch him in a weapons storehouse. The ghosts don't want to put up with him, and the all-blades effect ghosts so he manages to drive them off.

Cass goes down because her main skill of hand to hand is negated by intangibility.

Damian due to the same, because his sword goes right through an opponent and he's hit from behind.

Tim is craftier and all his tech shorting out around him was a red flag. He flees the area, and lasts a while in chase, but after seeing the destruction the ghosts are causing as they chase him and hearing on comms that Jason and Batman are on the way, gives in. He's trying to stall - but his kidnappers don't know English. He's gone through a portal the moment he he turns around with hands up.

They have the three bats for weeks. They keep species in the same 'habitat' area so it's them three all trying to find a way out together.

Nothing works. They fake a fight and no one stops them. They take the guard by surprise and get out the door, but every time, the hallways twist and lead them right back to their room (it's a Lair and they don't know that, nor that the land itself obeys the wishes of the controller). The ghosts vary wildly in shape and ability so it's unpredictable what they'll be facing, and they can't form attack strategies through repeated limit testing.

The ghosts don't understand human needs yet. They're given one bathroom break a day at first. No cultural items that are needed by humans like beds or soap, baths are done by 'burning' them with ecto-light. They're given blankets after being observed using their capes as covers. Their diets are experimented with to see how they respond do different foods.

And then a months in, they're separated. The two Lazarus pit exposed, and Tim, interesting for different reasons such as the lack of spleen and Ebola Gulf-A (Clench) antibodies. He's kept in a separate even more bare room.

He's touch starved within a week and listless without conversation or anything to do. Pacing. The Infinite Realms don't exactly have the background noise planet earth does so while it's not full sensory deprivation it's still enough to make his head hurt constantly.

And then three weeks after being removed from Cass and Damian something's different, the 'aliens' are abuzz and some have body language Tim recognizes as excited. They use a very English sounding word a lot, halfa.

Tim gets a roommate because there's only two human containment rooms.

Danny is thrown into the cell and wakes up to Tim staaaaaring at him disassociating still and tries to snap him out of it. Tim is just relieved to hear a voice. Even the slightest touch like a pat on the shoulder is so overwhelming it makes him nauseous and is sensory overload for the first day.

Then Tim gets sick. He's been without his meds for months now but was in a sterile environment. It isn't a strong virus thank goodness but it still takes him the fuck out with fever.

The ghosts are super jazzed to study Danny taking care of Tim, and it prevents Danny from trying to break free. He can't leave Tim to die.

Tim is feverish and hurting and Danny comforts him as best he can. Lets Tim cling to him. When Tim is beginning to recover and kisses him the halfa lets it happen as they need the closeness.

He acclimated Tim to touch again during this - he would hold Tim in his lap and give affection while having Tim breathe through the overwhelm and speak calmly to him, hold him in place even if Tim fought the hold a bit while calming him down by telling him all kinds of stories, until he managed to relax and fall asleep each time.

Even though it's only been a couple months since he was brought here there was enough deprivation that Tim's hypersensitive and overly responsive, and Danny secretly loves it despite himself and the cause. Even half delirious Tim is sarcastic and snuggles into him and Danny is dying of the cuteness. Especially when Tim clings to him and lets him toy with his responses.

The first time whispered words - it wasn't like they had anything to do but get to know each other - turns to messing around a little they find the researcher ghosts are... very interested, later. New behaviors. They try to find out what prompted it and why the reactions are different from the ones between Tim, Cass, and Damian. Alternating total isolation without tests, and busying themselves around the 'habitat'.

When he finally IS better Tim makes them an opening and Danny Completely. Wrecks. Their. Shit. Obviously.

They find Cass and Damian and break them out.

They don't know where the three came from/how to get to their dimension, so it'll take a little bit to recover and find where to go. The researchers really messed up Cass and Dami by messing with the magic keeping them alive so he takes them to, ironically, the yetis.

Tim refuses to leave Danny to stay with them because we are All Here for clingy bitchy Tim. He stays with Danny while Cass & Dami recover and get some re-exposure therapy themselves.

(When they do get back, Damian will insist to everyone they got abducted by Aliens™ and Tim found himself in a tragic Romeo and Juliet with one of the aliens then decided to elope.)

[kofikit]

DP x DC: Cliche Tim Drake

TW for consensual highkey stalking, but like, it's Tim so what do we expect?

.

Tim has been pulling away from the Bats for a while. They don't notice at first - Red Robin usually works alone, they all do. It's not like they commonly patrol in pairs, so when his patrol count per week lessens from four nights to two or three they don't realize. He's around a little less otherwise. Actually uses a vacation week at work, his attendance at family dinner drops to half. Tim doesn't seem mad at them or anything they just think he's busy. People tend to fluctuate with how present they are after all - they think he's just taking it easy with socializing for a while.

Then several months into this behavior Nightwing decides to go visit. He goes to the penthouse only to find - to his surprise - it was re-converted back into a Bat base. (The penthouse was supposed to be temporary for Tim anyway, so it's not surprising! Dick just hadn't heard he chose a safehouse to home up in finally.)

So Dick tracks him down, but the location is kinda confusing. It's at the fringes of Tim's patrol territory instead of near the hospitals where RR sees most of his fieldwork being done.

Top floor of a fancy skyscraper with obvious hasty Bat additions that are in semi-state of being fortified and obscured. Thus - he's still moving in but has been for quite a few months. It's similar enough to the top story of W.E. that Dick can get in if he wants.

Instead, for laughs, Dick decides to go in through the apartment. He ends up having to go one floor down and through the window intending to go to Tim's front door.

But when he slides in across the sill something seems off. The window had Bat security - of course it did, the entire building would, regardless of other residents.

Then Dick starts finding the other cameras. Bat cameras. The special SD card kind they had so that they didn't have the function of being wireless thus couldn't be hacked for detected. They're EVERYWHERE... Usually the Bats would give themselves privacy corners in their homes and have only ones pointed at the windows and doors.

Dick looks around out of concern and finds several things he did not need to see like lube and toys in the nightstand. He's soooo gonna be judging Tim for a couple of those, is all he really thinks. There's also several plants near the window that Dick is impressed are not dead.

The decor is off… it doesn't fit Tim at all. There's so many glowstars on the ceiling that Dick can faintly see shapes - and the blue halos of three more cameras in the room in addition to the typical security system ones. Checking, even the bathroom has two, pointed towards the shower and medicine cabinet mirror.

Dick is confused, this should be Tim's downstairs neighbor right? Maybe he just took over two floors. Maybe some of the cameras are fakes, or something happened recently that caused need for heavy watching for a while.

When he gets upstairs it's clear no. It's something else.

Because unlike other bases… One entire wall has pictures hung up.

It's Tim's photography. It's skylines and busy diners and the Gotham Botanical Gardens. And all of them, have the same young man in them.

But these aren't case photos. There is no red string or map of Gotham. Some are framed. Some are color-corrected digital, or polaroids. Most are candid, taken from a distance or a table or three over. Two have the man absently looking right at the camera by coincidence.

For some reason not a single of those photos was taken at night. Some of the less pro-grade ones that haven't been touched up like the rest are.

… Some of them have this man lying down in bed and dressed in what looks like Tim's clothes, knees visible on either side of his waist as the photographer takes a picture. Some are crystal clear phone pictures of him leaning against a tree in barely hidden seclusion at the park and covering his mouth with hair over his face, Tim's hand in the picture up under his shirt pressed to his abdomen.

There are copies of personal details like a collage of the man's childhood school pictures, grade reports, and on the wall next to the computer extensive medical history was pinned to the wall for easy reference.

… Usually the Bats had chemical compound and police scanner language lists pinned there. For ease of use without having to constantly check and close the desktop files.

Off to the side there's lists of his favorite foods and a few Gotham takeout places that sell it. Some of which are in the candid photos. There's one sheet of paper with a bulletpoint list of people's names like Ember McClain and Dorthea Mattingly, plus scrawled shorthand in pen crowding next to them that Dick recognizes as coded numbers to shorten sentences, and he doesn't have time to break.

(The rest of the room besides that one wall of pictures is average RR equipment Dick had expected to find.)

Then Dick finds the actual files in the filing cabinet - the full top drawer isn't Bat case standard format. The lower drawers are.

Because this? There had to be files. And they're physical copy at that. Tim has one on every single one of Danny's coworkers at a repair shop nearby. Tim has dossiers on several people who were in high school with Danny, including a Wes Weston whose folder had a red X on the front marking it relevant as a threat of some kind or another… the last page of it was a death certificate.

And of course Daniel Fenton's address was the apartment below.

Dick opens his wrist computer and immediately starts hacking. All Bat cell service routes through their own servers, so even if one of them had something to hide from other Bats, it's still more secure to use a burner on the Bat satellite than a publicly used service. He finds that any texts between Tim and Daniel are instantly and automatically wiped hourly. But…

… But almost like trophies, any texts with others who knew Danny weren't erased. Ones where Tim threatens two former classmates of 'Danny' to stay away from him and not ever speak to him again. Ones where Danny's friends keep asking after Danny from Tim like Tim was a go between including frequent check ins that Danny was remembering to have food and water. Like Tim knew better than Danny. On Tim's actual non-burner phone he finds out Kon and Cassie know about this guy because they planned a double date two weeks ago.

From data counts Dick can tell there's phone pictures being sent to some of these numbers and then deleted.

Tim's stalking one of the tenants. And not Bat stalking. This is some kind of relationship and Tim is controlling everything about Danny's daily life including who is around him.

Dick has a crisis, all like, we trained him to get away with this, is hit with all the signs when Tim was a child and the way they encouraged it through the job. Etc.

So Dick frantically gathers a few Batfam members back in the cave. He knows Tim will find out he was there soon and keeps it limited to avoid him finding out even sooner. Explains what he saw.

They find out where Danny works and some go to talk to him while one stays to use the Batcomputer and compile it all plus look for ways they can get this guy protected from someone as talented as Tim.

It's obvious he has relations with Tim, not RR, so B shows up as Bruce. When he awkwardly tries to explain he noticed his son had all these cameras. Well.

Danny just kinda blinks and says he knows.

Dick is bewildered. "You know about the surveillance? And you're okay with it?"

Danny just gives him a weird look and says, "Are you certain you want those answers? I'm trying to be polite here by not saying…"

And when Dick confirms that yes they're concerned and what does that have to do with anything, Danny gets really sarcastic goes all, "Well okay then. Dude, yes, I know Tim has cameras recording me in the bedroom. We like to go back over the footage and watch."

Bruce cringes away as he makes a sound like one of those annoying chicken toys had been run over by a golf cart.

Danny just gives them this DONE look and says, "Yeah, see, that's what I thought. You didn't want to know. And now you have to know that fact for the rest of your life."

Like they're questioning a total stranger's sex life instead of trying to warn him he had a stalker who even controls his friend group's access to him.

The Bats are... They're so confused. SO confused.

They show him the texts with people on burner phones but all Danny ever does is claim to have already known, except about some specific conversations that he calls sweet of Tim to be concerned, and says he knew Tim wanted to fuck with people who were cruel to him in school.

They would think he was lying about knowing in order to cover up for Tim out of fear but there's no tells.

Except then he says he'll be right back and goes outside. The Bats are peeking out the window while Tim's motorcycle RIPS into the lot. He's still got his RR leggings and black boots on. The Bats call it that Tim found out from the disabled window security about Dick being in this guy's apartment.

And instead of hesitating at all or there being a conversation Danny kisses him REALLY hard. Not in a way you whistle at, with tongue or anything, he simply buries Tim's face in his shoulder after and holds him there while Tim clings. And suddenly the Bats feel really uncomfy even though they shouldn't right - they aren't intruding, Tim is stalking this guy they have to stop this.

When they come back inside Tim's all relaxed like 'oh yeah this is my boyfriend' and treating it like it's the very typical for the Batfam 'hid the new beau from the Bats as long as possible' game.

The Bats are so lost.

Meanwhile Stephanie is breaking into the apartment a second time for evidence and checks the usual places she knows Tim puts hidden doors.

That's how she finds the albums. The NSFW ones.

There are threesomes with a guy with white hair. There are pictures taken by Danny of Tim riding him and then leaned to the side with a bright red handprint on his face as he cums. There are ones of Danny naked at what she took to be Tim's feet with a thumb in his mouth. There are ones of Danny being held from behind and displayed by that guy from the first pictures. There are softer ones of him standing in lighting from the windows with a hand at the curtains and relaxed but so, so naked. Or in lingerie. There's one on the last page of Danny in some kind of fancy Halloween crown with gems hanging at his ears from the perspective of Tim under him, then standing at the end of a desk with Tim's legs over his shoulders.

Stephanie slams the photo album shut and puts it back understanding at the least that the photography thing is a kink and wonders if Danny knows how far it goes.

When she gets back to the cave she's told very awkwardly that they have family movie night with Tim's boyfriend and everyone's partners invited that night.

[kofikit]

DP x DC: Dimensional Double Trouble

Danny's in Gotham because there's an astronomy exhibit event at their observatory. Now, astronomy stuff often gets hitchhiked by astrology people. If even one more person asks him 'oh whats your star sign' he is going to EXPLODE.

Either because that exact thing happened or not, while at the gala Danny runs into Tim Drake. Both of them kinda make friends bonding over complaining about the astrology people attending the physics convention and confusing everyone who doesn’t know the difference. It escalates to obvious flirting because we all know what this type of fanfic is for.

Predictably, the event gets invaded by rogues, everyone taken hostage.

The cult doing it... starts asking people their star signs... and takes everyone with a certain one and puts them in a group. Danny is going to completely pop off the moment he manages to get enough eyes off him to switch forms, he is seeing red. But of course he’s dragged forward with the others – and so is Tim before he can get away – distress beacon already active of course.

After they're collected together the cult surrounded the crowd. They begin chanting. It's short, not what anyone expected, things are happening before anyone has time to react. Danny had been expecting to have longer to try and pretend to get the ropes off and take a running break. Tim had expected the chance to stall for the arrival of the Bats.

… And the magic? It tears Danny in half into Super & Fun (or a different balance) because the dimensional barrier gets punched through directly on top of the group. What else did it do? Dealer’s choice. Summoning, power granting to the cultists, whatever.

Now, obviously, Danny isn't fourteen anymore, so his two halves are thankfully a little less cringy. He's an adult. He's matured. But it does still result in some really extreme personality shenanigans since he's literally two parts of a mind, unbalanced. These two halves are used to relying on the self-control of the other to keep impulse in check after all.

Phantom saves everyone while the Bats arrive in the middle of this chaos. He yoinks Tim out of the way of the fight without any fanfare and shields him because the idiot tried to help and got himself in trouble. Whatever the cult did with the magic besides just hitting Danny like a chainsaw, the ghost handles, which the Bats are not suited for and know so. Magic is not their strong suit. But it certainly is Danny Phantom’s in this regard.

It certainly draws attention. After it's done with police keep making comments like 'oh a new meta cape' and asking Batman 'whos this' and Batman is absolutely bullshitting his way through it because he has no idea. Phantom is struggling – trying to remain collected in front of a crowd of unfamiliar people. Batman manages to send the cops away quickly for his sake and most of the crowd has been evacuated too.

At the end of everything the Bats realized one civilian stuck around, who approaches after the police are there and taking away the cult members. Nightwing bars his way and requests he go back to the crowds since they don’t do autographs, and gets laughed at as Danny ducks right under his arm and past him pretty casually, which Nightwing allows because, well, he seems like he should be there from how he's acting right? They realize this random civilian must know the new hero when he starts speaking.

Danny instantly – but in good humor – lays into Phantom the same way he would himself in his own sarcastic inner monologue for any mistakes in the fight, and teases him for being caught by the Bat. The one thing they were supposed to Not Do in Gotham of course. He had ONE job.

Tim Drake, who trailed after Danny like a lost puppy upon realizing the new friend he made at the event was approaching the Bats, tries to defend the ghost; he’s kinda like HEY HE WAS A BIG HELP?? Which they both turn on him about to stare.

While it’s nice of him (and very cute and touching since Danny and Phantom are not used to people trying to defend them), it feels weird to have what amounts to inner thought processes get interrupted with someone countering him on his own review of how he could improve.

As soon as the Bats recover and launch into interrogation towards who the two are Danny tries to nope out really fast by turning to sprint. Phantom just grabs him by the back of the shirt and lifts him up like one would to a misbehaving puppy and says "NO." Danny crosses his arms and just dangles there for the entire rest of the conversation. They see nothing weird about this. The Bats absolutely do.

So then Danny and Phantom need to get away from the Bats, resolve the separation by getting back to Amity somehow with the fairly noticeable Phantom (Danny took a bus for the event and Phantom can't stay invisible 24/7), and deal with the aftereffects of the chaos caused by the cult.

The next time they run into him both of them keep hitting on Tim Drake, while the Bats totally think they’re an item due to the extreme amount of over-familiarity, such as constant interrupting of each other mid-sentence when one might say something they really shouldn't. Poor Tim is caught in the middle of this. At least one other Bat develops a crush on one half but not the other.

When they call Jazz because they're stuck in Gotham and split but Danny can't stop talking about the cute boy they met while Phantom just yells at him 24/7 that this is SERIOUS they need to GET HOME EVEN THOUGH THERE'S A CUTE BOY she laughs so hard she drops her cellphone on the ground.

[kofikit]

DP x DC: Gotham Swamps

Damian meets Sam for the first time when she's 16 and he's 10, right before his mother sends him to Batman. Damian had been sent with an assassin team to investigate a potential new Lazarus site location – all such trips must be overseen by a blooded al'Ghul. She's there, at this pool, not using it or starting a cult but just registering data because the "King of the Infinite" is investigating them. They have a pretty wild adventure trying to track down the source spring that leads into magical community territory (like where Jason studies for the All Blades.)

The second time he meets her is when he himself is fifteen. His mother texts him that the League is in crisis, the followers of Ras vs Talia have many switching sides and he could be in danger.

Behind his family's backs he goes to see what's going on and if his mother is okay. When he gets there he discovers the Cradle's Lazarus Pit vanished, causing the chaos. He, with a deadpan, slips away and to the servant quarters where Sam is pretending to blend in, just, "Hello, Sam." "Hiya, Dami!"

He helps her escape unbeknownst to all.

Now, it's known well that Gotham has a pit somewhere out in the swamps. It often toxifies their water slightly and Solomon Grundy and Swamp Thing handle it.

One day it does more than that. Animals at the edges of the swamp start turning up dead.

The Batfam tries but those swamps are twisted as hell and un-mappable due to Old magics (and being 100% haunted). Like; the one time Tim ventured through them on foot ended with him finding a cannibal mormon cult that he was led to by a guy dressed as a wizard. Even Gotham Rogues besides the dead ones don't go into the fucking swamps.

The argument ends with Tim being told by everyone to handle it; his weird alliances with Talia and Ras, him being the only one to walk back out of the swamps before. People disappear there a lotttt.

Tim doesn't want to. He can't just let the poisoning spread to people either but he doesn't want to do this, put himself on good alliance terms with Ras or Talia again, go back out there alone. He knows somewhere deep that this mission will be the one to finally kill him but they won't listen. He's the one with experience.

Damian approaches him and manages to get Tim to agree to him helping because he has an idea to try before they bother with the Pits.

And that's how they end up in the middle of nowhere, Illinois, seeking the witch Sam Manson.

And yes. Tim would have died. But liminals have the power to make the smallest chances of fate go in their favor, and interacting with them snaps Tim's threads of fate like it's silk web. Leaving him unmoored. He feels the freedom of choice of how he wants to live for the first time since he became Robin.

Sam, Danny, and Tucker go with them to the swamps of Gotham to vanish the Pit.

Every time Tim tries to ask how Damian knows Sam he receives a different answer.

Damian hadn't met Danny or Tucker but Tucker had been mentioned due to hacking comparisons

Illinois has So Much Cornfield, I want them to get lost there before they even get to the swamp

Tim turned 21 just before all this went down and when the Trio find this out they take him to the bar to get legally buzzed for the first time (But not unaware enough to not be able to handle an attack, because Vigilantes.)

Sam absolutely did tell Damian wild tales about dimensional travel while they were sneaking into/out of magic communities. They are unphased by the Gotham swamps. Dami and Tim collectively decide not to touch that fact with a 10 foot pole

Illinois has SO much corn. Danny and Sam keep making them different types of cornbread somehow out in the swamps as their main food rations. The Gothamites didn't even know there were types.

Tim and Damian do not fuck around about stagnant water since they're from Gotham, and its actually Sam to tell Danny & Tucker horror stories about katrina cough to get them to take it seriously. Danny goes overboard a little and fusses over them four a lot.

They all learn WAY too much about each other, road trip style

The rest of the Bats do not see the two Robins again until at least a month later

Two weeks after their return Tim complains to Alfred about wanting good chili and cornbread and even Alfred is like 'what in the everloving f--k weren’t you in the coastal swamps where did you learn about this meal'

When the Bats finally meet the trio they have absolutely no idea who they are. Damian and Tim do not elaborate.