lifeandsturff - Tumblr blog

[lifeandsturff]

Studies of a Man's Head, John Singer Sargent, 1875

[lifeandsturff]

So I went on Artbreeder and made my version of Bellatrix and I’m simping so hard wtf

[lifeandsturff]

What I really want is a fanfic where Harry goes into one of Sirius’s memories and it’s like all the Black family in a room together. I just need to see how Sirius and Bellatrix got along when they were teenagers. I wanna see the dynamics of the Black family and how the hell it all worked. I NEED it so bad!!!

[lifeandsturff]

The worst part about grief is finding something like a song, a place, a book, anything that you know they would like and not being able to tell them about it. That's the worst part about losing someone you love...

[lifeandsturff]

I love you...

You're so different from anyone I've ever met. I love it how your eyes glow every time you talk about things that make you happy. I love it how your laugh makes me laugh. I love it how your dimples show even when you're not smiling. I love it how your stories are never boring, and I can never get enough of you. I love all these little things that I've never noticed in anyone else. You stuck around and days turned into weeks & weeks turned into months & the only thing that's changed is that I love you even more than when I first met you. Thank you for coming into my life and turning my world upside down in the best way. I love you more than you can ever imagine.

[lifeandsturff]

You throw your head back laughing like a little kid, I think it's strange that you think I'm funny cos she never did.

[lifeandsturff]

Perhaps it is the greatest grief, after all, to be left on earth when another is gone.

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller (via tessalivesandbreathesbooks)

[lifeandsturff]

I’m fine. Actually, I’m more than fine. I’m happy, and everything is okay. But then, my mind wanders and I end up thinking of you, and suddenly my whole body aches. And I wonder if I had been numbing myself so I wouldn’t have to feel the pain of missing you this whole time. And I wonder how long I will have to continue to numb myself. And I wonder how much longer it will hurt, and when I will be able to think of you and feel happy for the memories we shared instead of sad that you’re no longer here. And I wonder if you ever really do heal from losing someone.

l.i.u. , 12/5/15 (via love-inspire-universally)

[lifeandsturff]

It’s funny. The day you lose someone isn’t the worst. At least you’ve got something to do. It’s all the days they stay dead.

The Doctor (via winifredjay)

[lifeandsturff]

A letter to depression

Dear depression, We go way back. I remember the first time I met you. I was seven years old, a lover of stories and books and imaginary worlds, teased for the way I looked and the things I said. I knew I didn’t fit in. The second time I met you, I was at school, where a boy laughed at my face. It was the first time I understood the word ugly. We met again when my great grandmother died, and I found out that the people I love will one day leave me. And again when I was said for the 50th day in a row. I begged you to go away, but you would not leave. You, depression, are my childhood friend. The midnight voices in my head. You pretend to have the answers, but loving you got me sick, got me suicidal, got me happy pills. Find the nearest ledge you say. Walk out, you say. Wouldn’t you be better of dead? Yesterday, I cried enough to call myself the sad girl again. Lonely has developed an authority where my thoughts are my family. Always fussing over the wrong I have done. What I learned from sadness is from you. You told me people won’t love me, but a handfuls of pills will. You told me that I’m incurable, can’t be happy, can’t have friends. You’re a contradiction, a house of lies. My sadness will not cease, it will not quiet. I am so exhausted that I cannot cover it up with a smile anymore. Depression will write you into a story where you don’t belong, it will kid you, haunt you with thoughts of the past. But dare yourself, extraordinary human, to run into joy screaming “you cannot have me!” I am not my past. I am worthy if love and affection. I am forgiving myself for not being strong enough to deal with problems on my own. I can tell you, I don’t know who my friends are. I can tell you, a person I thought I loved abused me. I can tell you the amount of times I’ve wished I was dead, but I would rather tell you I am letting go. I am letting you go, depression. I am letting failure and loneliness go. I will not give up. You will not silence me.

[lifeandsturff]

I’ve met the most amazing person! 

[lifeandsturff]

[lifeandsturff]

[lifeandsturff]

So I was on the bus this morning & these two girls were talking really loudly about their sex lives and this girls who's usually super quiet just turns around & is like "CAN YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Anyways, these two girls were like "what do you even know about sex you're a virgin blah blah." And this girl just said "I've had sex with eight people actually! And I'm working on my ninth." I was like whoo you go girl!

[lifeandsturff]

I have such a crush on Nicola Walker after watching River

[lifeandsturff]

Somebody loves you.

Dear people suffering from depression, Don't kill yourself. Just wait another day, another week, another month. Just hold on. I promise you things get better. There'll be shit times, but they'll be brilliant times too. And if you kill yourself you won't know what brilliant times are coming. Do you really want to miss out? Recovery is tiring and long. And sometimes it feels you'll never get better. But just hold on, because once you conquer depression, it's the best feeling in the world. ❤️

[lifeandsturff]

Don't give up. In my eyes you're perfect