maddiemcclouskey

[maddiemcclouskey]

What Role Should President Barack Obama Play on Broadway?

After a history-making turn on Capitol Hill, Barack Obama’s presidency will be closing after a strictly limited eight-year engagement at The White House. Aside from his unprecedented impact on healthcare reform and social issues, the public has also witnessed a leading man with excellent stage presence, comedic timing, a soulful baritenor voice, and the ability to deliver passionate monologues to hordes of old, white people. Maybe this presidency was just an out-of-town tryout for our Commander-in-Chief’s next major role: Broadway Star. Here are some of the roles President Obama could Ba-ROCK if he leaves the White House for the Great White Way: 1. George Washington, HAMILTON. Currently, there are only two places people can see a person of color serve as the president of the United States: The actual White House and the Richard Rodgers Theatre. Given the ticket sales and weekly grosses, we’ll be seeing a person of color as president on Broadway for a longer period of time than we’ve had a person of color as president in Washington! But this is a Broadway website catering to middle-aged white women planning vacation trips to New York City, so we won’t get into dreary racial politics! More showtunes, please! 2. Hedwig, HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH. Remember when the Broadway production was super-desperate to cast a famous black cis man to play a German transgender woman in a rock musical on Broadway? Considering the fact that they made a pretty random casting choice and brought all the keys down for Taye Diggs anyway, they might as well revive the revival to give the leader of a national superpower a chance to put on some makeup, turn up the eight-track, and pull the wig down from the shelf. I laugh, because I will cry if I don’t. 3. Man in Chair, THE DROWSY CHAPERONE Broadway is hard, y’all. You know what else is hard? Leading a nation and having your citizenship questioned by GOP candidates in non-eq wigs! President Barack Obama will need a nice, long seat in a comfortable chair after the past eight years. Not to mention, Broadway is bringing back the ‘00s in a big way this season, with revivals of SPRING AWAKENING, THE COLOR PURPLE, and A VIEW FROM THE BRIDGE anyway, so why not add another vintage show from a decade ago? Obama doesn’t wanna show off no more, and that is completely understandable. 4. Literally Just Singing Amazing Grace, AMAZING GRACE Let’s be real, this could be more nuanced and sell better than the actual book musical, and we know our president can add a tasteful riff only when emotionally appropriate. Let us know in the comments how you want to see our country’s leader finally get his Equity Card and make his Broadway debut in the comments below! Michael Riedel, we know you aren’t playing tennis near your beach house, so you can feel free to chime in as well! Let us know any hackneyed casting choices we may have missed on social media - we really just want clicks for ad-based revenue so we can keep writing odes to Aaron Tveit!

[maddiemcclouskey]

Alright, White People - Listen Up.

If you're anything like me, you are a white person who uses social media, you've seen at least the most recent news coverage in Ferguson (if you haven't followed the story since it made its way to the Internet and news media), and/or you feel the need to say something about it. I'm sure you want to sound intelligent, rational, sensitive, or even original when you make a *groundbreaking* status update, Facebook comment, or even a blog post like this one.

Here's some food for thought before you use your freedom of speech to weigh in on the death of Michael Brown, the Grand Jury ruling that did not indict his killer Darren Wilson, and the protests going on in the wake of that decision:

If you are not a black person, you do not know what it is like to be a black person. Sounds obvious, right? However, other persecuted minorities have taken to social media to implicitly or explicitly compare the uprisings in Ferguson to the struggles of queer people (Stonewall!) and non-black racial minorities ( #asianlivesmatter ) , which derails discussion from the systematic dehumanization of black people that has existed in our country since its inception. If you are a white person, it does not matter what life experiences you have, who you know, or where you grew up - You are not black! You have no right whatsoever to tell black people how to feel or behave, especially in the wake of this tragedy. You need to understand that you can never truly know everything about what it means to be black, even if you are a self-professed ally. Not to mention, if you are not black, please do not make your commentary about Ferguson centered around you. Don't get me wrong - it is perfectly natural to feel outraged, saddened, disappointed, anxious, frustrated, or otherwise upset. However, you need to remember that as a person who is not black, you are not a victim here. It is not all about you.  White people - even those of us who try our best not to become bigots - need to listen to and validate the experiences,emotions, and LIVES of black people ALWAYS. If you weren't doing so before, it's time to start. 

Darren Wilson wasn't colorblind - You can't be, either. If you're a white person who wants to talk about Ferguson but want to ignore the obvious racial tension, congratulations: You're trying to cash in on the same white supremacy that allows Darren Wilson to kill a teenager and walk free without even a trial! Some well-meaning white people love to employ phrases like "I don't see race," but that's only because their white privilege allows them to live without seeing our society's blatant systematic oppression of black people. If you don't "See race," you are either in denial or sorely misinformed about the history of this country. Darren Wilson's testimony described Michael Brown as "Demonic" and somehow mystically "Bulking up" to go through gunshots...That isn't rhetoric used to describe someone as a human being. Whether you like it or not, Officer Wilson's perception of Michael Brown, his view of the altercation, and how he chose to present his experience to the grand jury is dehumanizing to Michael Brown. Black people have been dehumanized for far too long, especially by white people who have too much power. It is no coincidence that Wilson is white, the grand jury was predominantly white, and the dead black teenager was described as a monster - and the testimony worked in Wilson's favor. So, yeah, this is about race. That is why there is an uproar. See also: If the KKK is getting involved,you know some racist shit is going down.

But "Black-on-Black Crime" is a thing! Well, sure it is. But you know what? White people have systematic, societal privilege in this country, so when a white person in power (like a POLICE OFFICER) kills an unarmed black person (for example, a TEENAGER), there is a distinct imbalance of power there, both in the specific altercation and on a grander, historic scale. When anybody brings up "Black-on-Black Crime," it is a tactic to draw attention away from the racial inequalities still alive and well in our society. P.S. "Black-on-Black Crime" is not relevant to this situation. A white person in power killed an unarmed black person and didn't even have to undergo a trial.  ...When black people commit far lesser crimes, they are punished much more harshly...Like being killed by an officer after a nonviolent offense.

omg the fires the looting whyyyyyy? Let's put our media-literate thinking caps on for a second: First of all, the damage to property in Ferguson is not the only form of protest going on. There is a literal fuckload of peaceful protest going on in Ferguson and all over the country...But it isn't snappy enough to make the nighttime news. News outlets have conveniently chosen on images of fire and looting and "smoke" (TEAR GAS DEPLOYED BY THE POLICE) to avoid focusing on the injustice that caused this unrest to occur. Did you know that police wound up opening fire on protestors? You didn't see it on the news, because reporters were barred from entering (or covering) the area. Secondly, It is not a coincidence that the grand jury ruling was announced at night. The court, the police,and the media knew very well what would happen after the announcement that Darren Wilson won't be indicted. The disrespect for black lives, the ruling, and the subsequent unrest are nothing new. It's history repeating itself, and that is why people are so upset. So, yeah, some people may want to burn shit down. Complaining about property damage with fake concern isn't going to do anything about the flawed system that created everything that is happening now. A PERSON WAS KILLED. Shall we not act like inanimate property is more important than a human life? Thanks.

#AllLivesMatter Well, sure they do. Good for you for letting us know that. But right now, it's very clear that our police and legal justice system doesn't care so much about BLACK lives. When you say "All lives matter" as opposed to "Black lives matter," you are missing the point. Of course all lives matter; therefore, black lives matter, and that is the message that needs to come through loud and clear. Police brutality against BLACK LIVES that goes unpunished sends a message that those in power believe that BLACK LIVES do not matter. Push back on the racist system by specifically saying that BLACK LIVES MATTER. What do you have to lose by saying that black lives matter? If you're afraid to say that black lives matter, maybe you need to unpack why you feel that way. I'll give you a hint: Institutionalized Racism.

Does everybody have to be so angry about it, though? Short answer: YES. Longer answer: Don't police other people's feelings, tone, or reactions. Not only is it the Golden Rule to treat others the way you would want to be treated...But as a white person who will never experience oppression based on race, who the hell are you to tell any black person how to feel or behave? ...Take a seat. You sound entitled and holier-than-thou, and it is not cute or productive to undoing outrageous injustice or helping people heal.

                                             ***** By the way, I know I sound angry/snarky/condescending/whatever you'd like to call it. Because I am. White people, we need to do better. I've been hearing so many white people crying "I'm not racist!" while clearly backing away from actually discussing racism's prominent role in Ferguson. If you truly are not racist, then you should be vocally supporting black people, especially right now. This means calling out racism. This means educating other white people, who sometimes can be ignorant (and very loud on Facebook). This means LISTENING, learning, and sometimes feeling uncomfortable. This means checking your privilege and supporting other human beings. White people need to be involved in uprooting systematic white supremacy. That means you.

MORE RESOURCES: feministajones Black Girl Dangerous Crunk Feminist Collective The Illipsis The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness

[maddiemcclouskey]

Thanks to Acts of Greatness for cross-posting my piece!

[maddiemcclouskey]

Are you down with the clown? Come find out at the world premiere of Britton Buttrill's dark comedy, Juggalicious.

I guarantee that you will get a kick out of this play whether you just got back from the Gathering or if you find yourself asking, "What is a Juggalo?"

Juggalo or civilian, it all comes down to family. There may be darkness in life, but we are all searching for love and a connection to family, biological or chosen.

Come see Juggalicious at the New York Fringe playing at the Robert Moss Theatre August 10th,14th, 17th and 20th.

Buy tickets in advance online or at Fringe Central. Tickets may be purchased at the door, but they are more expensive and the venue does not take cash.

There is no late entry or refunds if you do not make it to the theatre on time. Make sure you get to the venue at least fifteen minutes before the start of the show.

Hope to see you there! WHOOP WHOOP!

[maddiemcclouskey]

I'm really a forty year old in a tormented marriage on the inside.

[maddiemcclouskey]

I sing sometimes. Mostly my hair gets in the way and the pianist kills it.

[maddiemcclouskey]

If you like theatre, Psychopathic Records, Juggalos, or me, you should consider donating to the NYC Fringe Festival production of JUGGALICIOUS, a dark comedy by Britton Buttrill.

WHOOP WHOOP!

mmfwcl

[maddiemcclouskey]

Look, I made a hat.

[maddiemcclouskey]

God, I'm the worst.

My generation is supposed to be good at the whole shameless-self-promotion-via-technology thing, but I am majorly slacking. Not that too many people read this anyway, but writing that made me feel slightly accountable.

ANYWAY, for those of you who don't know me personally, I have a performance background in addition to my writing...So sometimes, that means I sing stuff in public. On July 11th, I'll be singing in a showcase at the West End Lounge on the Upper West Side. It's a Friday night, and I believe the whole shebang starts at 7:30. On the offchance that you'd want to go, I'm selling presale tickets.

[maddiemcclouskey]

Figurative and Literal Trigger Warning (A Poorly-Thought-Out Slam Poem I Probably Won't Perform)

I was a child when I saw the Columbine High School shooting covered over and over on television news.

Even as a confused first-grader, the daughter of a teacher, my mind raced with worries, hypotheses, and recurring nightmares.

I wanted to make some semblance of sense of it all.

'Calm down. You're safe. This was an isolated incident. He was sad and scary and angry and crazy. This won't happen again.'

...Except it did happen again.

Guys with guns just kept coming -

Into high schools,

Parking lots,

Middle schools,

Reservations,

Airports,

Elementary schools,

Sororities.

They sought revenge and recognition, their shot heard 'round the world. Every time we say their names, we justify their ammunition.

I grew a little older and understood a little more.

I read some books. I met some people. I saw some doctors. I took some medications. I experienced some things.

I internalized some ideas.

'That guy's creepy, but I still need to be nice to him. If he gets the idea that I don't like him, who knows what he'll do? One day that kid could go off the deep end and become a face on the news.'

My generation of women has been taught to stay on the lookout for the following:

Kidnappers

Rapists

Muggers

Terrorists

That creepy guy whose stare is too dark and lasts too long.

I have always kept my guard up, but I have never looked at another woman as a future mugshot of a mass shooting.

Women are isolated, mistreated, ignored, rejected, and oppressed, and yet they never feel deserving of the power or entitlement killing sprees require.

Mass shootings have become commonplace.

We are familiar with the usual suspect. He's a character we can identify in our lives.

Men feel entitled to women's bodies. It's a fact of life.

The Santa Barbara headlines will eventually fade, only to be replaced by a menacing face from a different city.

Children growing up nowadays aren't shocked by Santa Barbara the way my generation was by Columbine.

We can tell them, "Those actions were wrong."

"People were hurt."

"So many families need help in the wake of this destruction."

We can tell today's kids so many things, or we can choose to avoid the stomachache, saying,

"This is too upsetting for us to talk about."

There are so many things we can say.

We cannot, however, tell them, "The world isn't normally like this."

Even they know that is a lie.

We can see these incidents coming a mile away and yet feel helpless to stop them.

There are major pieces missing in the puzzle, glaring holes in the picture.

We have an idea of what we're looking for, but it's tedious to get on hands and knees, searching for completion.

While we wait for change, we are still unsafe

At school,

At work,

At the airport,

At the bar,

Walking down the street.

There isn't enough warning by the time the trigger is pulled.

We need to act now.

[maddiemcclouskey]

On Monday, I pitched a piece about why MRAs and Red Pill-ers won't get laid.

I never thought I'd feel this way on Saturday

[maddiemcclouskey]

Remember that time I forgot how to be a millennial douchebag?

I've been writing for a new website and have been doing the shittiest job self-promoting.

I write advice for straight dudes. Unironically. And somebody pays me to do it. Yay!

Check out my pieces for The Roosevelts! 

...I'll make a Roosevelts section with links soon, if any of you are clamoring to see me tell dudes to keep it in their pants and shower.

[maddiemcclouskey]

LAST DAY TO SUBMIT!

If you are LGBT+  want your awful/hilarious/ridiculous dating story featured in a future article, TODAY IS YOUR LAST DAY TO SEND IT IN.

You can send it to my Tumblr inbox or my email:

maddiemcclouskey@gmail.com

[maddiemcclouskey]

The only thing better than puppy wine is your submission for my LGBT+ dating piece!

If you're LGBT+ and have a story that's so ridiculously terrible that nobody could have made it up, send it to my inbox! It could be featured in a future article.

Oh, and I will absolutely protect your identity with a super-hip pseudonym.

[maddiemcclouskey]

LGBT+? Think YOU have the funniest awful date story?

Tell me the things that are too crazy or ridiculous to be made up. 

Did she rush in immediately after washing dogs? Did you take a romantic walk outside...Right as a thunderstorm began? 

I'm sure you can top this. If your story is chosen, you could be featured (with a pseudonym) in an upcoming SheSeekOnline article!

Let me know in the comments or my inbox.

[maddiemcclouskey]

...The date was going really well, until she started talking about her AP tests.

"I thought you were 22."

"Oh, no, I'm 16. I lie about my age on OKCupid."

...YIKES.

Can you top that? If you're LGBT+ and have a funny/awful dating story, I am still looking for submissions that could be featured in an upcoming article. 

Send me your horror stories via comment or inbox. Obviously, I will protect your privacy and give you a super-hip pseudonym.

[maddiemcclouskey]

Are you LGBT+? Do you have a hilariously awful dating story?

If you do, send it my way in the comments or my inbox, and it could be featured in an article in the near future!

Oh, and I will protect your identity by giving you and all involved parties hipster-y pseudonyms.

Here are some of the greatest hits of my weird-ass dating life, if you need inspiration.

Thanks in advance!