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THIS fucking close to just creating a comprehensive guide to writing Harley Keener.

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So, I'm going to need a sequel to my last prompt (Tony bringing up his kids) where Stephen actually meets Harley. Because that seems like it would be chaos, and I'm all for that lol

Thank you <3

Sequel to this one.

“You don’t have to do this,” Tony said, tone careful.

Stephen frowned. “This is important to you.”

“There will be other opportunities,” Tony said. “We’ve been dating less than a year and… well…”

It was tempting to take the out. But Stephen was serious about Tony. If Tony was suggesting Stephen meet ‘one of the kids’ then Tony was serious about him. Stephen wasn’t going to ruin this by letting himself get scared off by a pre-teen.

“I want to do this.”

Tony examined him, then nodded. “Come on, then.” He pushed into the living room and Stephen followed him through. Pepper was talking to a woman while two kids wandered around the room.

“Sorry I’m late,” Tony said. “You’re looking fantastic, Rose!”

The woman laughed, turning to hug Tony. “Charming as always, Tony.” She pulled back. “Thanks for letting us use your place as home base. Harley and Abby have been talking about this trip for months.” She glanced at the two kids—Harley was now glaring at Stephen—and sighed. “I think Harley’s more excited about finally getting a chance to see your labs, though.”

Tony grinned. “Can’t blame him, there. Don’t worry, I won’t let him perish away in my lab. He’ll get a proper tourist experience. I hope you’ll let me show you and the kids some of the lesser known treasures of New York?”

“We’re counting on it,” Rose said.

“Who are you?” Harley asked, voice brusque, still glaring at Stephen.

“Harley,” Rose sighed. “That’s not how—”

“I’m Doctor Stephen Strange,” Stephen said. “Tony’s boyfriend.”

Harley wrinkled his nose in disgust. “A doctor?” He looked at Tony. “You’re dating a doctor?”

“There something wrong with that?” Tony asked, amused. 

Harley scoffed. “I doubt he understands a thing about engineering.”

Stephen didn’t think that was the dealbreaker Harley was making it out to be. He knew plenty about any number of Tony’s other interests.

“Not a thing,” Tony agreed. “But he’s got a few redeeming qualities.”

“A few—” Stephen cut off, glaring at Tony. “Seriously?”

Tony leaned in for a kiss. “A few,” he repeated.

“Can he even shoot a potato gun?” Harley asked.

Stephen gaped. “Why would I need to shoot a potato gun?”

Harley wrinkled his nose while Tony laughed. “How about you teach him while you’re here, Harley? Stephen would love to learn.”

Stephen would not actually. But… He sighed. “Why not?”

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Seeing fics/fic descriptions like this is sooooo fucking funny to me because based on how Harley gets attached to people (he does this with Tony. All it took was Tony showing the slightest bit of care by asking about his bully and he was glued to the dudes side.) he would fucking LOVE Peter. ANOTHER STRANGE NERDY KID THATS HARLEY’S AGE??? SIGN HIM UP !!!!

I’m telling u so honestly I don’t think Harley would consider even for a second that Peter would be “competition” of any sort. There is not a bone in his body that would ever willingly hurt someone just because of jealousy even if he didn’t enjoy Peter’s company from the start. (He saved his own bullies life, that should be proof enough.)

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Harley practically forces Tony’s hand into taking him in shortly after the mandarin incident. He meant what he said. Tony needs him, emotionally, Tony needs someone like him. He needs Harley because Harley won’t hesitate to pull Tony out of his spirals and depressive states.

So Harley begins to do what he can, of course, there’s others, there’s pepper and JARVIS and happy and rhodey. Tony has people, but Harley is quick to try and shoulder responsibilities. Not a lot, they don’t allow him to take on a lot, but enough.

Every now and then, he wakes up and Tony is down and tinkering again, Harley has to herd him into the kitchen to eat breakfast like a dog with sheep. He goes down with him, keeps a schedule, a well thought out system of timers and alarms, signifying that they need food and something to drink. He tries.

He drags Tony to bed, telling him it’s late, the lab won’t go anywhere tomorrow, it’s time to sleep. It becomes tradition, routine, reflex. Harley starts to abandon alarms, instinctively moving to get meals, to grab drinks and keep things going.

Then, one night, long after Harley is sure he’d dragged Tony to bed, he wakes up. Maybe from a bad dream, maybe he heard a sound (maybe he couldn’t sleep, spent too long thinking, spiraling.) but he gets up, decides he needs a glass of water.

But when he gets there, he sees Tony, a glass of whiskey in hand. Harley bites his tongue, clenches his fist, does whatever he can to not yell and swipe the cup out of his grip because he looks a little too much like Harley’s dad right now. He doesn’t do any of that, he just gets his glass of water. Eyes trained on the glass in Tony’s hand.

Tony must have noticed, must have caught the wandering eyes. “Don’t look at me like that.”

��Like what?” Harley asks, feigning ignorance.

“Like I can’t drink.” Tony replies.

Harley takes a breath, taking a sip of his water, reaching in a cabinet to take ibuprofen with it. He reminds himself that it’s normal, adults are allowed to enjoy themselves, even his mom had a cheap beer every now and then and he’d never taken issue with that. He buries it down, he begins to walk away.

As he makes the trek back to his room, he hears something small, something muttered.

“I can quit whenever I want.”

Harley lets out a breath. Makes a mental note to talk to Pepper about it. We’ll work on it.

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Yeah or something like that

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Peter & Harley both being Tony’s bio kids (or simply adopted at a young age) where Peter is a year older than Harley so therefore he feels wholly responsible for making sure Harley doesn’t get himself or anyone else killed. They act like twins a majority of the time but when things start to get bad it’s Peter who ends up wanting to protect Harley. Not the other way around.

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Do u still assign sharks to blorbos? If so you should totally assign one to Harley Keener from iron man 3

wahhh im so sorry, i saw this and forgot to answer it!!!!!!!

Harley Keener is...

a bamboo shark!! I'm giving him a small shark cus he's little too :)

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MARVEL. MARVEL IF YOU CAN HEAR ME. PLEASE. PLEASE WHEN YOU RESET THE UNIVERSE JUST GIVE ME SOME SORT OF INDICATION THAT HARLEY KEENER EXISTS. PLEASE.

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Trying to stay friends with people is so weird. I hate dejectedly going into the group chat we made to chat with each other just to be like “hey yeah I added stuff to that script we made together. Look at it I fucking guess.”

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Robin-spud as a concept is genuinely so funny to me bc imagine ur literally any other member of the batfam and DAMIAN of all people shows up with this tiny little southern kid like

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Ooo Robin-spud is cute. I think that one could work best :33

Presents them to the internet like a meek child

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Presents them to the internet like a meek child

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Uhm crack headcanon that somehow. Someway. Whenever someone is having like the worst moment in their life ever, they’re stuck with Harley Keener. They can’t escape him, he’s just, there, always. And somehow he always comes out of the experience with almost no change in opinion on that person.

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Thinking about the most underrated ironfam kids rn. Harley and his emo older sister, Nebula. I think they’d get along. Maybe.

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And what if I love Harley keener (yes the kid from iron man 3, leave me alone)

Guys it’s so hard out here being a Harley keener fan but not shipping parkner/parley LIKE IM SORRY THEH ARE SO BROTHERS IN MY MIND

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Presents them to the internet like a meek child

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Hey so like. Quick question.

WHERE THE FUCK IS THIS FROM????? Like I know it’s my pfp but I’m searching high and low to figure where this came from and I have. No idea.