quirky-quizzical-queer

[quirky-quizzical-queer]

Dear mama,

I see you. I saw the tears in your eyes this morning as you dropped your kid off at school. I don’t know why they were there. Maybe the holiday was rough. I understand that. Maybe it was an extra long morning because of the long weekend. Maybe your kid said something to you that shattered your heart. Teachers have had it rough this year, but so have moms. They’ve been doing the jobs of so many. Making sure everyone is fed, clean, happy, and healthy. And doing their own jobs. So whatever it was that brought those tears to your eyes, mama; I hope I can do what I can to brighten your day. I hope you know that your kid raves about you at school and can’t wait for you to pick him up. But until you’re ready to do that, I’m here to make sure he has a good day and brings you all the artwork to take up the space on your fridge. I know he already fills up all the space in your heart. I hope your day gets better, mama.

Love,

Teacher

[quirky-quizzical-queer]

You say this as if you ever listen to what we have to say. You do have a point in saying that men will never know what it’s like to be women. But, cis women will also never know what it’s like to be trans women. Trans women experience two forms of oppression: oppression based on trans-ness, and oppression based on the fact that they present as feminine. (Mind you, I say this as someone who is AFAB but has male-passing privilege). Trans men and trans women have different struggles. There is trans-misogyny, which is what you’re perpetuating in your reply to me. When I am passing as potentially male, I am respected so much more highly than when I looked like I was female. For trans women, they experience an immediate reaction from men especially based upon their outer appearance as women; and then if it comes up that they’re trans, they experience an even deeper form of oppression and lack of respect due to the fact that they’re trans. So although I see your point that men can’t understand what it’s like to be women, it boils down to gender vs. sex. This can’t be compared to changing races, because gender is a social structure, not about where you come from. Forcing someone to live in a body they don’t belong in is unethical and wrong. We can abolish the gender social structure while still respecting gender identity. I am providing my view with respect, as it sounds as though you’ve not received respect in the past from other posters, and I’m sorry to hear that. Engage in civil discourse, respect others’ identities, because they aren’t harmful to you.

isabelle speaks the truth

[quirky-quizzical-queer]

Fun fact: I posted this during my last tinder doom scroll. I matched with someone incredible that night. I have had a perpetual smile on my face since then. I am happy.

Idk maybe it’s just me but sometimes I feel like I can’t fall in love because I’ve already fallen in love. But when I fall in love, I fall in love with the wrong people. I fall in love with straight people. People in relationships. Emotionally unavailable people. I continue to doomscrool through tinder; hoping I’ll find someone as wonderful as those I’ve fallen for in the past. But I’ll never find anyone who equates. Everyone falls short. And the truth of the matter is, that I keep falling for people who are out of my league. I’m fine. I’m alright. I’m not a bad person; but I’m nothing special. She’s incredible. She’s beautiful. She’s smart. She’s funny. The problem is, she’ll never like me. She’s dating superman, and I’m a cat stuck in a tree. She’s incredible. I’m just me.

[quirky-quizzical-queer]

Idk maybe it’s just me but sometimes I feel like I can’t fall in love because I’ve already fallen in love. But when I fall in love, I fall in love with the wrong people. I fall in love with straight people. People in relationships. Emotionally unavailable people. I continue to doomscrool through tinder; hoping I’ll find someone as wonderful as those I’ve fallen for in the past. But I’ll never find anyone who equates. Everyone falls short. And the truth of the matter is, that I keep falling for people who are out of my league. I’m fine. I’m alright. I’m not a bad person; but I’m nothing special. She’s incredible. She’s beautiful. She’s smart. She’s funny. The problem is, she’ll never like me. She’s dating superman, and I’m a cat stuck in a tree. She’s incredible. I’m just me.

[quirky-quizzical-queer]

This. All of this.

Genuine question?? Im a 19 y/o lesbian and ?? I dont find p*nis attractive does that make me a TERF?

I’m happy you sent this ask, because it’s a perfect place to talk about how someone can get hurt, feel wronged, and become susceptible to extremist recruiting.

First off, treat this as a simple yes or no question, asked with zero surrounding context, the platonic idea of penis preference if you will. “I don’t find penises attractive” is not a sentiment that makes you a TERF. You’re okay not liking them. My nonbinary wife doesn’t particularly like them, yet they are married to me (who has one) and we love each other more than anything in the world. 

In fact, in the abstract, I don’t like ‘em much either, and I own one! Ridiculous looking thing, wish I didn’t have to deal with it. A general dislike of genitals doesn’t make you a TERF… not by itself.

Now, here is where the critical thinking comes in, because if you posted something like that on Tumblr or something, it has a different context. You might not even know! It could be a totally innocent mistake, and it happens, and some women either get criticized in ways that makes them feel attacked, or actually attacked because you never know if what you post online is hitting someone on a bad day or a good day. 

The context first of all is, without any clarifying statements, saying you don’t like a genital could imply you’re reducing anyone with that particular set of genitals down to their genitals only. And it could result in either someone telling you it sounds TERFy (if they’re trying to be gentle) or calling you a TERF (if they’re out of spoons) because that’s what TERFs do. Here’s where it becomes a recruit pitch.

You say “I don’t like penises.” This doesn’t mean you’re saying you dislike trans women (not all of whom have penises anyway), but if you get the above lecture/yelling, a radfem can come along and empathetically agree how unfair it is that someone made you hurt for saying you don’t like a genital, and it’s not fair to tell a lesbian she has to sleep with a male or she’s a TERF and- OH WAIT A MINUTE!

Hold up, it looks like they were just being nice but wait wait, they just slid cozily from “it’s okay not to like a penis” to “anyone with a penis is male.” See that? Like a sleight of hand, once you’ve agreed with that premises, saying “I don’t like penises” suddenly becomes attached to “and anyone with a penis is male.”

Alright now in context, going back this kind of equivalency is so common with radfems that at this point saying you don’t like a genital is what we call a dogwhistle. It’s a phrase which is seemingly innocent, and can be innocent, which has been so widely appropriated by a hate group that it carries extra connotations in a certain context. Contexts like posting on Tumblr, which happens to have a particularly large trans population.

Now you can’t know every single dogwhistle because that’s the whole reason they exist - so normal people don’t spot someone’s bigotry and it looks like a disenfranchised group is getting angry over an innocent statement.

And lastly, which you probably already know, but generally not being interested in something doesn’t have to equate to disliking anyone with that trait, or even not being attracted to someone with that trait. I bring this up because the difference between a lesbian who just generally doesn’t like genital and a TERF is that the TERF things anyone with a penis is automatically bad and a male and probably reading this right now thinks I’m saying you have to have sex with men or like penises, somehow, despite saying exactly the opposite.

You may have a general preference, but in practice I’m sure you’ve already found a difference between “I am physically attracted to how this person looks” and “Holy shit I am in love this person is amazing and everything about them is beautiful.” If you haven’t had that experience yet, I can promise you some day you will. Not necessarily over genitals, but some day someone will come into your life and you’ll love every part of them whether or not it’s something you normally find abstractly attractive.

Keep your heart open to love, keep your mind open to constructive criticism, and you’ll never be a radfem or TERF or SWERF or whatever. That’s all.

[quirky-quizzical-queer]

define the word woman. no circular definitions.

The definition of woman when it comes to gender refers to socially constructed characteristics.

https://www.healthline.com/health/sex-vs-gender#sex

[quirky-quizzical-queer]

based on a true story

[quirky-quizzical-queer]

We played this in orchestra one time and it was a grand old time.

Led Zeppelin - Kashmir

[quirky-quizzical-queer]

Fun fact: I’m autistic I’m gonna do a thing inspired by another person

Reblog if your blog is safe for autistic people or is ran by an autistic person!

oh and

Reblog if you stand against Autism Speaks!

[quirky-quizzical-queer]

NATIVE AMERICANS ARE GOING MISSING

NATIVE AMERICANS ARE GOING MISSING

NATIVE AMERICANS ARE GOING MISSING

NATIVE AMERICANS ARE GOING MISSING

SIGNAL BOOST THE SHIT OUTTA THIS

[quirky-quizzical-queer]

ADHD culture is making really long posts about ADHD because you love to ramble about things that are important to you but never reading any really long posts about ADHD because who the hell has the attention span for that??

[quirky-quizzical-queer]

Terfs: wombyn are their ovaries!!! Ovaries make a wombybybynnn. Accept that u are a womynbdgnn you have ovaries !!!!

Me, a trans man on the danger list for ovarian cancer and is going to get them removed in the distant or near future:

not for long

[quirky-quizzical-queer]

I want to be alive.

I don’t want to die anymore.

There’s something to be said about that.

I’m not particularly happy. But I want to be here.

I want to be here for the good days. And I want to push through the bad.

I want to be alive.

There’s something to be said about that.

I believe I have a purpose. Though I may not be sure of what; I believe that it exists.

I’m more than just a fly on the wall. I’m not simply a supporting character in someone else’s story. I may help others along their way, which I’m happy to do. But damn it, I’m the main character in my own story, and I’ll be damned if anyone tells me otherwise.

More importantly, I want to exist. I want to be here. I don’t want to die like I did two chapters ago.

My plotline is complex. It’s hard to follow. Here’s a spoiler alert: the main character lives. I live.

[quirky-quizzical-queer]

Did I meme right?

[quirky-quizzical-queer]

Why does the entire internet is shocked every time they realize Chris Pratt is a republican every month?

no object permanence

[quirky-quizzical-queer]

Trans Discourse

If you are not trans/enby; then you do not get an opinion on trans discourse. This includes but is not limited to: pronouns, social and medical transitions, gender identification, who one dates, etc. If you’re a trans ally, that’s wonderful and always appreciated. But please listen to what we have to say with regards to these topics.

[quirky-quizzical-queer]

Male Privilege